AJC > Sports > Columnists > Archives > 2005 > August > 28 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USFrench pique at Lance just silly
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
In these times of lies and tap-dances in the world of artificially inflated athletics, I’d like to make a proposal. This three-step program should increase the public’s trust of athletes and grant some latitude for the athlete merely trying to better himself.
1) If you are diagnosed with testicular cancer and later learn the cancer has metastasized and spread to your brain and lungs, you need not fabricate lies about flaxseed vinaigrette. Take any drug you like. You get a pass.
2) If you need surgery to remove your right testicle and two brain lesions, you get a pass. In fact, I’m feeling generous. You get a pass if you lose either testicle or have even one brain lesion.
3) If you have 11 malignancies in your lungs and you choose a form of chemotherapy that oncologists consider so extreme that they warn you it might be too toxic for your kidneys and bone marrow � and in the best-case scenario, you will be weak, bald and puke your guts out � you also get a pass. Chug all the meds you want.
Last week, there was yet another report that Lance Armstrong is a “cheater.” L’Equipe, a French sports newspaper, says it has evidence that Armstrong tested positive during the 1999 Tour de France for erythropoietin (EPO), a hormone that helps develop red blood cells and increase endurance.
The French head of the Tour â€â€? amazingly, run by the same company that owns L’Equipe â€â€? refers to six-year-old “B” urine samples from tests shown to be unreliable as “proven scientific facts.” (Must be something lost in translation.) Some, including the head of USA Cycling, have defended Armstrong. Some, including almost anybody with a French accent, have attacked him.
Le Monde, another French newspaper, reported police staked out Armstrong’s hotel room July 18 after being tipped off that an unidentified man delivered a blue cooler to Armstrong’s room. Syringes? No. It was breakfast and dinner. “I did not consume any food, drink or product from any of the hotels for fear of sabotage,” he told an Austin newspaper.
Thus far, L’Equipe, Le Monde and their sister publication, Le Bunk, have held off from blaming Armstrong for losing the Olympic bid.
“This is a bunch of French journalists trying to dig in and rehash things and making a last-ditch effort [to discredit Armstrong],” said Micah Rice, who manages the Jittery Joe’s Cycling Team out of Athens.
“It’s a thing of pride for a lot of people. Someone’s lying. But you’re innocent until proven guilty, and there’s no proof that he’s done anything. Until I see proof, this is tabloid stuff.”
I’ll take it a step further. If I see proof Armstrong took EPO before the 1999 race, I’m giving him a pass. He hit all three of my qualifiers.
If Armstrong “cheated” six years ago, I don’t care.
And should this be translated over there: “Je m’en fiche.”
I mean, do we really need to know this?
This isn’t a healthy baseball player taking steroids to hit more home runs. In the worst-case scenario, somebody who was given a 40 percent chance of survival fought back, and in his first Tour since surgery, radiation and excessive puking, took EPO.
Why, that no-good, dirty low-life.
This reminds me of when golfers were upset that Casey Martin, who had a disability, was allowed to use a cart in PGA Tour events. (My PGA exception: If you’re willing to accept a degenerative blood disease, you can have a cart, too.)
EPO is commonly used during cancer recovery. Armstrong was no exception. He took Epogen to counter what drugs did to his system. When asked by Outside magazine in 1998 if he had an unfair advantage, Armstrong said, “If anything, I have a manhole cover attached to me. A year of chemo and platinum is hardly a boost.”
Thank you.
Miguel Indurain, a five-time Tour champion, has questioned the reliability of the test.
Two-time winner Laurent Fignon said only: “I don’t give a [poop].” (For this, he might lose his French citizenship.)
The sports world is filled with cheaters. There are plenty worth outing.
EPO or no EPO, Armstrong isn’t one of them.
Permalink | Comments (12) | Categories: Jeff Schultz
Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By Jeff Schultz
August 29, 2005 12:21 AM | Link to this
So I see that my column made a real splash, huh? Guess I’ll have to go back to making potty jokes about football teams. SELL THE PAPER. SELL THE PAPER. You people can lick me.
By Poopy fan
August 29, 2005 12:24 AM | Link to this
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By alan
August 29, 2005 05:02 AM | Link to this
Great article Jeff.
Like the Laurent Fingon, I don’t give a s** either. Leave it to the French establishment and intellectual (?) elite to ruin one of the great sports comebacks, and sully the reputation of a man who has really done a lot to raise money and awareness to fight cancer.
Oh, and I think you’re the funniest columnist at AJC.
By Geoffrey Paul
August 29, 2005 10:20 AM | Link to this
Jeff- As usual I completely agree with you. Therefore, I have nothing to say but merely wanted to post so that you wouldn’t go back to the poopy jokes, as you so aptly put it. Keep these thinking man articles coming. Anything on hockey or cycling is definately appreciated by a large crowd, albeit a less vocal one (probably due to the fact that we have attained higher levels of education). Not that the football articles go unappreciated, but variety is the spice of life, and you seem to be the only “reporter” at the AJC who is willing to look a little beyond the standard good ole boy worldview to find a story. About the story- Lance is so freakishly good that if there ever is hard evidence that he cheated I wouldn’t be too surprised. On the other hand, currently I contend that he hasn’t cheated. He has been tested more often than anyone ever has, the amount of blood he has given DURING the tour is ridiculous (giving blood during a contest based on endurance isn’t the greatest strategy for blowing away the competion). He has obliged their (tour organizers) every whim throughout his amazing run and they have never found any evidence of doping other than anecdotal (and unsubstantiated) stories from dis-gruntled ex-employees. Their continuing, childish temper-tantrum about Lance is despicable. Thanks for calling them out.
By The REAL Jeff Schultz
August 29, 2005 10:24 AM | Link to this
Once again, Jeff Schultz impersonators are blogging under my name. Shouldn’t I get royalties or something?
By Philip
August 29, 2005 11:29 AM | Link to this
As if we needed another reason to dislike the French…now they pull a stunt like this. I don’t care what the L’Equipe newspaper prints I will always admire Armstrong as a cancer survivor and one of the greatest athletes of all time. Drugs or not, his seven straight Tour de France titles is simply amazing.
After we’re done in Iraq maybe we should focus on France before Iran.
By Jeff Schultz
August 29, 2005 12:30 PM | Link to this
Phillip … France is like most countries — most problems can be traced to the government or, in this case, the leaders of copanies and organizations. I don’t blame the general residents as much. Besides, I see no reason to obliterate perfectly good vineyards. JS
By Tim Anderson
August 29, 2005 12:55 PM | Link to this
Jeff, The AJC should keep you and Fisher and dump all the other Bozos. Your statements about EPO were exactly what I had been wondering about. I thought it may have been related to his cancer treatment regimen, especially since it only showed up (if at all!!) on one occasion.
Great article. Who cares about France’s vineyards? I love in CA.
Thanks.
By Tim Anderson
August 29, 2005 12:57 PM | Link to this
I meant I “LIVE” in CA. Can’t be too careful around here. TA
By Philip
August 29, 2005 02:00 PM | Link to this
Well the French did give us the Statue of Liberty, penicillin, and the Pink Panther so I guess we should give the “Frogs” another chance. :)
It wasn’t my intention to make light of the issues in Iraq or demean our presence…just poking a little fun at the French. I support our troops and their mission.
Viva la Armstrong!!!
By Barbara
August 29, 2005 03:38 PM | Link to this
Lance Armstrong is not a cheater…this man is a survivor. If anyone were to believe that he did cheat would also have to believe that everyone in the Tour de France also cheated. The ability to recover each day to continue in this competition makes all of them super athletes. Lance’s edge beyond having the VO2 max that he has, is his strategy, competitiveness and determination to overcome any obstacle. Lance has more important things to do with his time now….play with his kids, his involvement with the cancer foundation…..he doesn’t need to spend time defending himself. And I agree with Jeff’s Three Step Program, poop and all!!
Go, Lance!!
By Michael Scharff
August 31, 2005 12:47 PM | Link to this
Jeff, Don’t y’all have some kind of filter to keep ignorant low-lifes from using these forums for their idiotic and vulgar posts?