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Sunday, August 28, 2005
French pique at Lance just silly
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Jeff Schultz
In these times of lies and tap-dances in the world of artificially inflated athletics, I’d like to make a proposal. This three-step program should increase the public’s trust of athletes and grant some latitude for the athlete merely trying to better himself.
1) If you are diagnosed with testicular cancer and later learn the cancer has metastasized and spread to your brain and lungs, you need not fabricate lies about flaxseed vinaigrette. Take any drug you like. You get a pass.
2) If you need surgery to remove your right testicle and two brain lesions, you get a pass. In fact, I’m feeling generous. You get a pass if you lose either testicle or have even one brain lesion.
3) If you have 11 malignancies in your lungs and you choose a form of chemotherapy that oncologists consider so extreme that they warn you it might be too toxic for your kidneys and bone marrow � and in the best-case scenario, you will be weak, bald and puke your guts out � you also get a pass. Chug all the meds you want.
Last week, there was yet another report that Lance Armstrong is a “cheater.” L’Equipe, a French sports newspaper, says it has evidence that Armstrong tested positive during the 1999 Tour de France for erythropoietin (EPO), a hormone that helps develop red blood cells and increase endurance.
The French head of the Tour â€â€? amazingly, run by the same company that owns L’Equipe â€â€? refers to six-year-old “B” urine samples from tests shown to be unreliable as “proven scientific facts.” (Must be something lost in translation.) Some, including the head of USA Cycling, have defended Armstrong. Some, including almost anybody with a French accent, have attacked him.
Le Monde, another French newspaper, reported police staked out Armstrong’s hotel room July 18 after being tipped off that an unidentified man delivered a blue cooler to Armstrong’s room. Syringes? No. It was breakfast and dinner. “I did not consume any food, drink or product from any of the hotels for fear of sabotage,” he told an Austin newspaper.
Thus far, L’Equipe, Le Monde and their sister publication, Le Bunk, have held off from blaming Armstrong for losing the Olympic bid.
“This is a bunch of French journalists trying to dig in and rehash things and making a last-ditch effort [to discredit Armstrong],” said Micah Rice, who manages the Jittery Joe’s Cycling Team out of Athens.
“It’s a thing of pride for a lot of people. Someone’s lying. But you’re innocent until proven guilty, and there’s no proof that he’s done anything. Until I see proof, this is tabloid stuff.”
I’ll take it a step further. If I see proof Armstrong took EPO before the 1999 race, I’m giving him a pass. He hit all three of my qualifiers.
If Armstrong “cheated” six years ago, I don’t care.
And should this be translated over there: “Je m’en fiche.”
I mean, do we really need to know this?
This isn’t a healthy baseball player taking steroids to hit more home runs. In the worst-case scenario, somebody who was given a 40 percent chance of survival fought back, and in his first Tour since surgery, radiation and excessive puking, took EPO.
Why, that no-good, dirty low-life.
This reminds me of when golfers were upset that Casey Martin, who had a disability, was allowed to use a cart in PGA Tour events. (My PGA exception: If you’re willing to accept a degenerative blood disease, you can have a cart, too.)
EPO is commonly used during cancer recovery. Armstrong was no exception. He took Epogen to counter what drugs did to his system. When asked by Outside magazine in 1998 if he had an unfair advantage, Armstrong said, “If anything, I have a manhole cover attached to me. A year of chemo and platinum is hardly a boost.”
Thank you.
Miguel Indurain, a five-time Tour champion, has questioned the reliability of the test.
Two-time winner Laurent Fignon said only: “I don’t give a [poop].” (For this, he might lose his French citizenship.)
The sports world is filled with cheaters. There are plenty worth outing.
EPO or no EPO, Armstrong isn’t one of them.
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