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Home > Jeff Schultz > Archives > 2008 > October > 30
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Halloween football picks: Spurrier smashes Great Pumpkin
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
In perhaps the greatest border conflict between Georgia and Florida since Florida demanded they keep stealing our water in order to save a species of clams, two sides of shrimp scampi and the endangered water slides of Orlando, there’s kind of a big football game Saturday.
The Bulldogs haven’t been this pumped since Alabama week. Let’s assume for a moment they’ve changed tailors since then.
Funny what one moment of temporary insanity can do. When Mark Richt orchestrated the goofy sideline-exodus-and-end-zone-celebrationus in Jacksonville last year, 17 years of mostly Gator domination seemed forgotten. It was like an historical eclipse.
Urban Meyer was so shaken up, he lapsed into third person in his book, saying: “It will forever be in the mind of Urban Meyer and in the mind of our football team. We’ll handle it, and it’s going to be a big deal.”
Is that all it took to unnerve these guys? Maybe if Ray Goff had emptied the sideline back in ‘90, he wouldn’t be making chicken fingers today.
On second thought, probably not.
The Dogs began the season ranked No. 1. It took only nine weeks to look like it. In Baton Rouge, they went from potential lunch to potential Miami. An offense with Stafford, Moreno and Green actually looked like an offense with Stafford, Moreno and Green.
The defense? Still stinks. But Florida’s isn’t much better. Besides, I figure the first time Georgia scores, all the players need do is light a bonfire or start dancing the hula and Meyer’s head will explode.
Florida: Keep the water.
Here’s your big deal, Urban: Take the 5 1/2, but Dogs pull an upset.
Late-Fall Blowout!
(Buy three games and win a copy of, “North Texas: We’re 0-8, and I’ve Got the Munchies.” The (Smoking) Mean Green confirmed 15 players recently failed drug tests. The school won’t identity the players or the drugs, but safe to assume the words “performance-enhancing” are not in play.)
• FSU at Wreckage: Tech had a clear road to ACC title week. Then against Virginia, it was like somebody lit a match in the dark, not realizing the barrel next to their feet said, “gun powder.” The rest of the schedule: FSU-Carolina-Miami-Georgia. Season go boom? Maybe not. But this week: Take FSU in an upset (and hug the 2 1/2).
• Slowburn at Mississippi: Auburn’s only win in the past five games came against Tennessee, which doesn’t really count. Actual factual: The defense has allowed 459 yards rushing in the past two weeks. Methinks Tommy Tuberville fired the wrong coordinator. But for some reason, I’m feeling an upset. Take the 6 as a gift.
• Great Pumpkin at Spurrier: Phil Fulmer is 5-8 all-time vs. Steve Spurrier — and that was with good teams. The Vols rank 113th in total offense. One less touchdown, and game tickets would be tax-deductible. Cover your eyes, children. Tennessee: meet 1-5. South Carolina covers 6.
• Tulsa at Arkansas: Tulsa (8-0) is averaging 56 points and 601 yards per game under Todd Graham and threatening to crash the BCS. Arkansas (3-5) leads the SEC on fourth-down attempts under Bobby Petrino, I guess because he’s not getting much accomplished the first three downs. Golden Hurricane cover 7.
Pros and Conmen
• Falcons at Raiders: I just took the rollercoaster through DeAngelo Hall’s cranium in the AJC. He said he considered not playing football anymore. Funny. I thought he quit last season. Bounce-back week: Falcons cover 3.
• Cowboys at Giants: Do you think at his lowest point, Brad Johnson ever imagined being part of a quarterback controversy with Brooks Bollinger? Giants cover 9.
• Patriots at Colts: Robert Kraft’s family just became title sponsor of the Israel Football League. Question: Are there actually players in this thing, or is it all agents? Meanwhile: Peyton Manning threw three touchdowns last week. It’s a miracle! Indy covers 5 1/2.
• Steelers at Redskins (Monday night): The last time Washington hosted a game on the eve of a presidential election was in 1984. Results: Redskins over Falcons; Reagan over Mondale. But like, who didn’t beat the Falcons and Mondale that season? Take the 2 and Steelers in a mild upset.
Accounting Dept.
(An economic upturn last week)
• Last week: 8-3 straight up, 7-4 against the line.
• All together now: 59-30 straight up, 42-45-2 against the line
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