Where did Jeff go?
He’s moved to a new location. Check him out on the new blogging platform and let him know what you think.
Home > Jeff Schultz > Archives > 2008 > October > 02
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Time warp: This isn’t Falcons-Packers ‘03
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
The last time the Falcons were in Green Bay, Michael Vick outplayed Brett Favre in a playoff game.
It was such a significant moment in their respective careers that Vick is now in prison and Favre is now a New York Jet, and I think we would all agree that Vick got the better of that deal, because one day he’ll be free and Favre will always be an ex-Jet.
The Packers are going through their own transition problems.
They have lost two straight, Aaron Rodgers can’t lift his arm, and the defense looks like the Scarecrow after he was visited by flying apes (lacerated spleen, torn biceps). Also, fans apparently are trying to blow themselves up.
A man from Mukwonago, Wis., was arrested after turning himself into a walking brat roaster. His SUV was running low on gas. So he tried to siphon some from a parked van. It was dark. He couldn’t see well. He had a lighter.
You know where this is going? Boom.
He survived. At least he didn’t burn any brain cells. But he had the same stunned look on his face that Wile E. Coyote did after realizing the Acme dynamite was wired to his big toe. Sort of like how the Packers might look Sunday.
The Falcons are 0-2 on the road and haven’t scored a touchdown. This didn’t figure to be opportunity week.
But Rodgers is doubtful, and the Packers’ defense has been wrecked by injuries. Key matchup: Michael Turner vs. the No. 26 run defense.
Can’t believe I’m doing this. Must be the fumes.
Upset revisited.
Almost Famous
— Georgia: Blacked out.
— Duke at Tech: The Jackets received votes in the AP poll. That puts them ahead of Clemson. The Blue Devils received a vote in the coaches’ poll. That puts them ahead of Tennessee. Can we all just stop and take a picture?
Tech covers 14.
— Florida State at Miami: And you wonder why the ACC has an identity problem. I had to stop to think before deciding which game was more important, FSU-Miami or Tech-Duke. Actually, I’m still not sure.
‘Canes cover 2 1/2.
— Florida at Arkansas: Bobby Petrino has been outscored 101-24 in the past two games, during which time his offense has scored two touchdowns and allowed three (on interception returns). But the good news: After the Florida and Auburn games, the athletics department should be eligible for a government bailout.
Gators cover 241/2.
— South Carolina at Mississippi: The afterglow from beating Wofford and UAB the past two weeks will wear off as soon as Steve Spurrier realizes his team is Mississippi’s homecoming opponent. Assuming the Rebels avoid a post-Florida nosedive:
They win 9-2.
— Kentucky at Alabama: Are they really making ‘Bama play the rest of the season, because I keep getting these e-mails asking if there’s any Cracker Barrels in Miami?
Tide wins but won’t cover the 16 1/2.
— Auburn at Vanderbilt: The Commodores are 4-0. The next thing you know, every school in the SEC is going to fold its athletics department, hire a I-AA coach and make players study. Naaaaah.
Tigers cover 4 on the road.
NFL Five-Pack
— Bengals at Cowboys: Possible matchup of the week: Chris Henry, coming off five arrests and a drug suspension, running routes against Adam “Pacman” Jones. The two haven’t met since the wild-card game between Attica and Leavenworth. I don’t like giving 17 in the NFL, but Cincinnati’s not really in the league.
Dallas covers.
— Redskins at Eagles: Washington hasn’t made the playoffs in the past three election years. I’m not sure what that means, but wouldn’t either ticket take Jim Zorn as a running mate right about now?
Eagles win, but give me the Skins and 5 1/2.
— Colts at Texans: Not sure how much better Indianapolis will be after a week off. But given Peyton Manning (73.1) is sandwiched between Marc Bulger and Gus Frerotte in quarterback rating, there needs to be a market correction or it’s a sign we’re all going down.
Colts cover 3.
— Titans at Ravens: Kerry Collins is 3-0 with one interception and one sack. Now Vince Young is really crying.
Tennessee covers 3.
— Chargers at Dolphins: Ricky Williams was tempted to get high during the bye week. But he said he passed. He also mentioned something about time being relative.
San Diego covers the 6 1/2.
Sub-prime results
(Hey, where’d everybody go? I was just kidding last week, honest!)
— Last week: 5-4 straight up, 3-6 against the line.
— Bottom lines: 30-17 straight up, 21-25-1 against the line.
Permalink | Comments (46) | Post your comment | Categories: Falcons/NFL, Tech/ACC
