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September 2008

Not buying the Hawks quite yet

The shining light of Atlanta pro sports opens training camp today, and amazingly that would be the Hawks.

When you are the only team coming off a playoff season — look it up, it won’t take long — you cease being the most-lampooned target in the city. Unless, of course, things go wrong again.

“Everybody’s smiling and motivated around here, because there’s probably a lot of other teams that think it was a fluke that we made the playoffs last year,” Josh Smith said. “So I feel like we have a lot to prove.”

That is the problem with this particular shining light. It’s way too early to assume stability. Maybe even direction.

Think of a bulb: There is no warning when it goes out.

Think of the Hawks: We saw both ends of the spectrum last season. We don’t know which end is reality and which is the aberration.

Are they the team that upset the Boston Celtics in three home playoff games, or the one that backed into the post-season with 37 wins and not only lost four playoff games in Boston but didn’t even compete?

Do you feel good about this team?

“Ask me that in January,” said Rick Sund, the new general manager.

Sund’s biggest concern: The schedule is not designed for early success: 10 of the first 16 games are on the road, where the team went 12-29 last season, and there’s no certainty how this team would deal with a bad start.

Success in sports often is less about talent (which the Hawks have) than it is about resolve and maturity. We just can’t know if this team is there yet.

“You go out 2-8 or you go out 8-2, things get blown out of proportion,” Sund said. “People think, ‘You’re there.’ ‘You’re not there.’ That’s my concern. We can’t get too high or too low. Detroit can lose three games out of the box, or they can win their first five. It won’t affect them either way. We have to understand the season is a marathon and not a sprint.”

General managers always have a Plan B. If things go south early, the question is what Sund does and how quickly he does it.

This is too important of a season for the Hawks for management to allow things to spin out of control. Much of the positive vibe that built during in the playoffs dissipated when Josh Childress bolted for Greece — unprecedented for an NBA regular — and ownership signed Mike Woodson to a two-year extension.

There were obvious arguments on both sides of the Woodson issue. Keep him: He made the playoffs. Fire him: He is 106-222 in four years.

But here’s the most important thing to keep in mind: a two-year deal does not represent an overwhelming vote of confidence. A one-year deal would have screamed, “He’s a goner” and undermined Woodson’s authority with the players. A three-year deal would have been a vote of confidence.

Two years says: “We’re not sure yet.” For those wondering whether the Hawks can take the next step, the question really is: “Can Woodson take them there?”

Give Woodson this much. He isn’t deluded. He understands that 37 wins and a first-round loss probably won’t cut it this season.

“Once you make the playoffs everything becomes higher in terms of expectations,” he said. “I look at our team now as a team that’s had a taste of playoffs. The players are hungry to get back. I know from a coaching standpoint that I’m hungry. We have something to build on. The schedule is what it is. We can’t run from it.”

They made the playoffs last year and now have a chance to be better. That puts them ahead of everybody else. If you’re the Hawks, you embrace that while you can.

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Reality hits Dogs like a truck

Athens — At least everybody matched. Does that count for something?

Players in black. Coaches in black. Fans in black. The high ranking — yeah, that was pretty much charred to black. Do you get points for that?

It was an all-day drunkfest in Athens, an electric atmosphere in Sanford Stadium — and then somebody had to go and pull the plug.

You know what? How about if we just stop assuming anything about this team from this point, either in stature, personality or direction. Seldom can one early season loss obliterate all theories but we just witnessed it. Forget all of the arguments about strength of schedule and Georgia getting jobbed on the rankings, because the only thing the Bulldogs accomplished Saturday night was smother all debates.

After losing to Alabama 41-30, in a game not nearly that close, Athens-to-No. 1 just isn’t showing up on Mapquest. Not today. Not next week. Possibly not for the rest of the season — at least not without reconstructed egos; an implausible run through the nation’s toughest schedule and a whole bunch of dominoes falling around them.

USC lost on Thursday. Florida lost Saturday. Georgia was in great shape until kickoff. Funny. The jerseys look a lot better when you’re not being overwhelmed by the moment, which was certainly the way it looked. Everything the Bulldogs were physically at South Carolina, they weren’t against Alabama. Everything they were offensively and defensively at Arizona State, they weren’t against Alabama.

Alabama was tougher, and smarter, and better. At everything.

“I don’t think we were overwhelmed,” defensive tackle Geno Atkins said. “I felt we were ready. They just came out and smacked us in the face and jumped on us.”

Guess what? When a team gets jumped 31-0 on its home field, it is not ready. The torsos may be nicely adorned in black jerseys. But the heads are somewhere else.

The team is now 4-1. A “1” has never seemed so fat.

A team doesn’t get lose like this, so convincingly, at home, on national TV, with so much at stake, without a hangover. This will take more than a few ice bags during the bye week to get over. Extensive therapy, maybe. It was 10-0 after the first quarter. It was 31-0 at halftime. Check?

Atkins again: “It was sort of surreal how quickly they scored 31 points.”

Georgia fans came to watch the best team in the nation, and maybe they did. Just not the team they expected. Alabama is 5-0 and might not be tested until going to LSU on Nov. 8.

The Bulldogs? They seemed to pass every test at ASU, only to self-immolate at home. If they were consistent in one area, it was the wrong area. They entered as the nation’s most penalized team, and will exit as the same. They had six in the first half, 10 in the game covering 81 yards. They had two roughing-the-passer calls, one negating an Alabama fumble and both leading to a 10-0 lead.

The Tide scored on all five first-half possessions. A shanked punt (19 yards) led to one scoring drive. A mid-air bobble by flanker A.J. Green, which was picked off by Alabama’s Dont’a Hightower, led to another. Lazy coverage led Julio Jones to slip into the back of the end zone alone to cradle a 22-yard touchdown with 1:25 left in the half.

That made it 31-0, a deficit Georgia hadn’t seen since a home loss to Auburn nine years ago, two years before Mark Richt’s arrival.

The Bulldogs tried to come back. A field goal, a touchdown drive and a 92-yard punt return by Prince Miller in the second half closed the score to 31-17. But they had already been lapped. Bama was on autopilot.

The second-half comeback — sorry, only window dressing.

Great teams don’t lay an egg like this. Not at home. Not on this stage. Not with so much at stake.

Now comes the bye week. It’s a good time to heal the egos.

If nothing else, it will be quiet. Nobody will be arguing.

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Vijay Singh playing on direct deposit

It’s not easy being Vijay Singh. Just think of the pressures associated with having $10 million stuffed in your back pocket before you’ve even put your socks on.

Breakfast: Eat a Pop-Tart. Don’t choke.

Shower: Or not.

The day’s objectives: Avoid debilitating viruses, meteors and cannibals.

Navigate these difficult steps, and $10 million is yours. Think of day-trader at one end of the spectrum and Singh at the other.

“If that was me, I’d be in last place,” Kenny Perry said Friday. “He’s probably celebrating every night. I mean, you’ve already won. It’s over. There’s no reason to play hard. Nobody can beat him. What’s his motivation?”

Singh is playing the Tour Championship on direct deposit, and it shows.

This is the final “playoff” in the FedEx Series, which has morphed into a glass of de-fizzed seltzer. Singh has a huge lead in a nonsensical point system, so he needs only to complete 72 holes to clinch the title and the prize money ($9 million in cash; $1 million in deferrals for the next generation for Singh’s).

Even if he stepped into a bunker at East Lake and had the bloody hand of Carrie reach up and pull him down to the Underworld, he would still be assured of the $10 million bonus if anybody but Sergio Garcia or Camilo Villegas won this week.

Human nature being what is, that can’t help but affect an athlete’s focus. We are including Singh, even though his often-prickly nature might lead some to believe he’s immune to human nature, as well as other things human.

He admits focus has been an issue. Here’s the evidence: Two rounds, 11 bogeys, four birdies. He’s tied for 23rd in a 30-man field at 7-over-147.

Singh believes he was more dialed in Friday than Thursday. That would be easier to believe if he didn’t follow his 73 with a 74, ending round two by missing a three-foot putt on 18.

Asked if focus was an issue, Singh said: “Maybe it was [Thursday]. But I was out there trying real hard today.

“When I started off I was a little bit overwhelmed with the situation I was in. It felt kind of [strange]. Whatever I did, people were congratulating me — even before the tournament started. Normally you don’t get congratulated until after the tournament. It’s a weird thing on your mind.”

He smiled as he spoke. He look relaxed, the picture of serenity. Want confirmation he’s not into this? There it is.

A normal Vijay Singh would’ve blown past media and fans after missing a three-footer on 18. This one gave quotes and signed autographs.

Stewart Cink says he’s also struggling with focus this week. His excuse: Ryder Cup hangover.

“I understand what he’s going through,” he said. “Vijay just has a different reason to be scatterbrained than I do. But the end result is it’s not working.”

Ryder Cup hangover isn’t bothering Anthony Kim, who leads the tournament at 7-under, one shot ahead of Sergio Garcia. The same can’t be said for Perry, the Kentucky native who shared in the U.S. win in Louisville. He’s 11-over and is quite open about the fact he would rather be somewhere else.

“I have no focus,” he said. “I don’t even care. I’m just trying to get my last-place check and go home. This week has ruined my [Ryder Cup] week. It’s like winning the Super Bowl and then having to play a football game the next day.”

Singh is 14 shots off the lead. He maintains he will go all out today. Good luck finding a believer.

First place pays $1.26 million. Last place pays $112,000. Generally, that’s a significant difference.

But most don’t have a $10 million bonus gift-wrapped and waiting for them. That will bring Singh’s earnings this season to $16.5 million.

Motivation? Whatever. Don’t choke on the Pop-Tart.

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Pro golf in Atlanta jinxed

Somewhere in Atlanta, there is a Voodoo doll fashionably attired in Lacoste and Footjoy, with needles sticking out of its forehead.

It’s as if the pro golf scene here is dropping into a black hole. The LPGA pulled the plug at Eagles Landing two years ago. The AT&T Classic at Sugarloaf exited in May after tournament organizers phoned 125 potential sponsors over six months and then heard this: Click.

The Tour Championship? It looked great on paper. Tiger Woods was on that paper. Playoff drama was on that paper. Somebody lost that paper.

Boo Weekley, goofball centerpiece of last week’s Ryder Cup, doing the Happy Gilmore gallop from the clubhouse to the first tee would’ve been a nice way to kick things off Thursday. But Weekley isn’t here. Also, there’s some football game in Athens on Saturday drawing attention.

“Tour Championship” should be two powerful words. But only two other words could’ve pushed Thursday’s opening onto the radar locally: Free gas.

Instead, we were left with relatively empty bleachers and connect-the-dot galleries for a season-ending tournament that pays $1.26 million to the winner. It was all a bit deflating.

“Atlanta will survive this,” said Dave Kaplan, director of the outgoing AT&T Classic, who on this day announced competitors as they walked up to the 18th green.

“When I think of the years we played the tournament the week before the Masters, we only made two cuts on Friday in eight years because of weather issues. In 2005 when we had total rainouts on Thursday and Friday, then on Saturday I’m sitting on the patio club at Sugarloaf and it starts to snow. Hail, sleet, snow, rain — I think we had it all in eight years.”

Yes, the PGA will survive. The Tour Championship will survive. The FedEx Cup will survive, although somebody needs to run this system through a food processor quick.

This is supposed is to bring together the top 30 players on the Tour. But because of a convoluted point system, the field includes Bubba Watson, who’s a great guy, colorful figure and solid golfer, but declared: “I’m here and it’s not right. If we really had a tournament with the top 30 players, I’m not here. I’ve never won a tournament in my life. I’m 97th in the world. I’ll take the checks and if they say, ‘You can go to the Masters,’ I’ll go. But nobody in the world would say I’m top 30.”

Anthony Kim was the only one who looked top 30 on Thursday. He shot 6-under. The course finished second. Everybody else followed. Only five golfers broke par. Vijay Singh was 3-over. Sergio Garcia was even. Stewart Cink 5-over.

If you’re a sponsor or a TV executive, you once embraced the possibility of an $11.26 million putt on Sunday to win the tournament and the FedEx Cup. Now, you’re sitting at the other end of the cache spectrum.

The embankment in front of the 18th green has the word “Playoffs” painted in large white letters. Presumably, there wasn’t enough paint for, “Exhibition.” Unless he collapses, Singh has the $10 million bonus locked up. He could lug a six-pack around East Lake every day and it wouldn’t make a difference.

Come to think of it, it would help the ratings.

“The playoffs have been kind of quiet, obviously,” said Ryuji Imada, the former Georgia golfer whose first Tour win was the final AT&T Classic. “Without Tiger, there’s probably only about half the excitement. We have a lot of good players and good golf here, but there’s only one Tiger.”

It’s unfortunate. This tournament and East Lake officials deserve better. D.J. Trahan, an Atlanta native and Clemson alum, believes golf fans will still pay attention this week. But he knows the Georgia-Alabama game is dominating the landscape.

“I guess I should say, ‘Go Dogs,’” he said, smiling. “Alabama kicked the living daylights out of my Tigers, and I never liked Alabama, anyway. I don’t know. Maybe we can be the second-biggest draw this week.”

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Traumatic week ends with UGA win

This has been a traumatic week for all of us. Larry Munson retired. Nick Saban and Alabama coaches did standup routines on funerals. Clay Aiken announced he was gay. (I thought every sense had been crushed until I tried to imagine any of the subjects and news events being shuffled, at which point I just blacked out.)

Just when we could take more, PETA told us we are evil for eating “Chunky Monkey.”

Yes, Tracy Reiman, who speaks for the organization that should have just stepped off stage last year and has way too much time on its hands, sent a letter to Ben and Jerry’s, saying: “The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn’t make sense. Everyone knows that, ‘The breast is best!’”

At which point, she did not lift her shirt and shout, “Throw me your beads!”

So she lost me.

(Check the cover of next week’s “People” for Clay Aiken’s take.)

PETA wants Ben and Jerry’s to start using breast milk to make ice cream so as to “lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies.”

Look, I’m getting a wonderful visual for the factory. Also the job interviews. But I would think all the best candidates for said pumping factory might also have a problem with the process. Plus, I’m just not feeling the product.

Now, some people think Georgia is milking way too much out of this whole “Blackout” thing. (I went to J-school for that transition.) Not me. Did you see how players reacted last year? Have you seen T-shirt sales?

And what possessed Saban to allow some yahoo with a video camera at practice to videotape his own strength and conditioning coach saying: “They’re wearing black because they’re going to a [multi-syllabic expletive] funeral.”

Oh, that’s smart. Welcome to the Pat Dye school of, “They’re not man enough,” boneheaded things to say game week. Milk this: Dogs cover seven.

NFL Six-Pack (I drank one) Falcons at Carolina: The Falcons have beaten two teams (Lions, Chiefs) that have lost six games and nine major organs. Now they go on the road to Carolina and Green Bay, which means two things: 1) We get to find out how good they really are; 2) It’ll be three weeks before the marketing department doesn’t have to lie about another “sellout” (“Empty seats? What empty seats? Look over there, Sasquatch!”) The Panthers somehow lost to Minnesota last week. Here’s their bounce back: Carolina covers seven.

Eagles at Bears: Philly receiver Hank Baskett has been linked to Playboy bazoom cartoon Kendra Wilkinson. Why do I suddenly crave ice cream? Eagles cover.

Bills at Rams: St. Louis has been outscored 38-3, 41-13 and 37-13. Before long, they’re either going to be dead or in the Sun Belt. Buffalo covers eight.

Packers at Bucs: Looking at a boxscore. It says Brian Griese threw for 407 yards last week. OK. I stop doing hallucinogens today. Take the Pack and the cheese (one point).

Oy-hio: Great rumor going around: Bill Cowher has purchased a home outside of Cleveland and therefore must be ready to take over the Browns. Last year’s rumor had Cowher owning a home in North Carolina and therefore preparing to assume the throne at N.C. State. If I’m Cowher, I plant a rumor about eyeing property in Rio, Maui and the Caribbean, just to see where it goes. Bengals cover 3 1/2.

Faber College (Where Knowledge is Good) UT-Knoxville at Auburn: The Vols are 1-2 going on Shreveport. Phil Fulmer said this week “We know what we’re doing.” QB Jonathan Crompton said last week, after losing to Florida, 30-6, “We should’ve won the game, in my opinion.” So they’re on the same page. Unfortunately, the library is on Neptune. Tigers cover 6 1/2.

Petrino’s Penance (cont.): Great times in Fayetteville. The NCAA slapped the track program with three years probation after an assistant coach was convicted of embezzlement, and the school continued to pay out on a $2.8 million contract to Bobby Petrino, who lost to Bama 49-14 but only has fraud charges pending. Texas covers 27 1/2.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Netherworld: The Cavaliers wanted Al Groh to bring the program to a new level, and he succeeded. They’re seven-point underdogs to Duke. Blue Devils win, but take Virginia and seven.

Bottom dollars Last week: 7-3 straight up, 6-4 against the line. Quarterly profit margins: 25-13 straight up, 18-19-1 against the line.

Permalink | Comments (36) | Post your comment | Categories: UGA/SEC

There won’t be another Munson

And now for the Tuesday Countdown:

10: Just a thought on how Larry Munson would react to his own retirement announcement: “Oh, you Larry Munson! … My God, he’s only a senior!”

9: I didn’t grow up here so I can’t fully appreciate what Munson meant to Georgia fans, particularly in the early 1980s. But I did grow up pre-cable when most sports was on the radio. Something has been lost since the explosion on the tube. We don’t rely on the words to paint a picture. There can be no true, “Voice of (fill in your team)” when you’re mostly watching the screen. There will never be another Munson, but, mostly, there will never be another era like his.

8: Radio, Part II: Went looking for Jeff Odgers. Phoned him on his cell. Found him. In Saskatchewan. On his tractor. “I’ve been on this thing for 12 hours,” he said, I think only slightly exaggerating.

7: The former Thrasher player and radio analyst has left the broadcast booth to return to his farm in the southeast corner of Saskatchewan - “Somewhere between Regina and Brandon” - so he can have more time to raise his two sons, Jon (15) and Dakota (12). “I’m really gonna miss the job,” Odgers said. “It was great working with Dan [Kamal] and I had a lot of fun. But this was something I felt I had to do.”

6: Odgers’ farm has been in his family for five generations. He grows organic grain and raises cattle. The hot product: flax. He’ll be happy to hook you up. “I can almost make a living,” he said, laughing. He hopes to be back in Atlanta a few times during the season for hockey development and community events.

5: For what it’s worth, here’s more sad financial evidence of all things Thrasher: Odgers will not be replaced on the AM-680 broadcasts. Draw your own conclusions (in red ink).

4: If Ocho Cinco changes his name to Cero Cero, it would match his touchdown total.

3: A laptop computer was found Saturday in the Notre Dame coaching booth, a violation of NCAA rules. Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis says it was accidental. Of course it was. Because the last thing Charlie Weis ever would do is cheat. Wait. Where did he used to work again?

2: Cheer up, Braves fans. The season is lost but there’s always this: On Sept. 10, the Mets led the Phillies by 3 1/2 games. New York is 4-7 since and now trail Philadelphia by 2 1/2. So let your mocking ease the pain.

1: Is ESPN still doing post-mortems on Yankee Stadium? Or will it just organize a long funeral procession through the Bronx as each piece of the dump is knocked down and carried out?

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Anderson’s first obstacle: attitude

It’s always easy to tell who the new guy is. He hasn’t lost a game yet. He hasn’t heard a fan lampoon him for his power play. He hasn’t walked through the locker room during a 3-11 January, or had a film session with a fat and overpaid $3 million defenseman, or been lectured by a Teflon-coated general manager who believes the coach is ruining wonderful prospects (who actually aren’t so wonderful).

John Anderson is the new guy. He’s easy to pick out of the crowd.

He’s happy. He’s excited. He said, “I want the players thinking, ‘We’re gonna go out and freaking win!’ “

The Thrashers opened their ninth training camp Saturday. There is one thread that can be drawn from their first camp to their ninth: Nobody ever came here to lose. It’s just a natural evolution.

The franchise is in the midst of another renovation, and that’s putting it nicely. The roster has some talent, but even those players look like question marks with ears. Does Ilya Kovalchuk already have one skate out the door? Can Kari Lehtonen locate some resolve to pair with his talent? Is this team any better than what it looks like: a mix of youth and reclamation projects, paid for by nickel-squeezing owners with the idea of limiting financial losses?

The Thrashers’ payroll likely will rank among the lowest in the league. Logic screams they’ll get what they pay for.

It’s easy to understand the low expectations. They have missed the playoffs in seven of eight seasons. They have finished 30th, 28th, 30th, 23rd, 21st, 19th, 12th and 28th in the overall standings. General manager Don Waddell has succeeded in keeping his job, but little else.

But Anderson is all sunshine. He either knows something we don’t or he is playing his role very well.

“I don’t give a [bleep] what everybody says, because for me, I didn’t come here to freaking lose,” he said. “They hired me to help this team win. I don’t want to lose. Losing stinks. I’ve been on teams like that. I don’t want that here. I don’t want that creeping in. I want the fear of losing.”

He is a nice guy, the kind of guy you would like to see succeed. He certainly has done that at the minor-league level, winning five championships in 13 years. How that translates to the NHL remains to be seen. We’ve seen both examples of coaches with minor-league success: Curt Fraser (the team’s first coach, who flopped) and Washington’s Bruce Boudreau (who went 37-17-7 last year).

Anderson has some sense of what he’s facing. He played on losing teams in Toronto, where the pressure to win seemingly is exceeded only by the annual failure to do so.

“I played with two guys who got nervous breakdowns,” he said.

The biggest obstacle he faces in Atlanta?

“Changing attitudes,” he said.

“I played on teams, and I’ve coached teams, where it was very difficult to get the Schleprock attitude out of them.”

Anderson is playing to a tough crowd, or what’s left of it. The season ticket base has dwindled. Last season obliterated any positive vibe lingering from a playoff berth. Slava Kozlov, remarking on the negative atmosphere, said, “Every time we lose, it was like, ‘We’re going to lose another one.’ “

New coaches seldom get dealt a great hand. Anderson is no exception. The depth chart at center is typically thin, the defense not much better, even with the addition of Ron Hainsey. Center Todd White, a third-liner most of his career, was signed for $9.5 million with the hope that money would somehow inflate his skill level. He scored 14 goals. This year, he could be a No. 3 center making $2.35 million.

Anderson’s admission: “If Todd White scores 12 goals, we’re not getting any better.”

Don’t blame Todd White. You can’t make people something they’re not. Waddell goofed on White. He goofed on Alexei Zhitnik (who was bought out). He lost all sense of direction with Bob Hartley, giving the coach a $1.2 million extension just six games before firing him. Hartley will make $2.4 million to coach six games. It will be in the Atlanta Spirit’s memoirs.

There’s more, but we’ll stop. It’s early, and Anderson deserves some peace.

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Dogs a safe investment Saturday

As the only remaining solvent financial institutions that have not been taken over by the feds, Weekend Predictions Global Enterprises Catfish and Such — now on three street corners — brings you this update from hoity-toity 1-AA banking centers:

Quoting from a financial newsletter in the UK: “Lloyds TSB confirmed its accepted bid for Halifax Bank of Scotland (HBOS), formerly Britain’s biggest mortgage bank, for £12 billion ($21 billion), or £2.32 pence per share, in an all stock deal following yesterday morning’s near collapse in the share price of HBOS, which had witnessed a sustained assault by hedge-fund speculators over 3 days that had wiped out more than 66 percent of the bank’s value from £2.85 to just 90p following Lehman’s bankruptcy and AIG nationalization.”

If you can translate any of that, you so aren’t coming over to my house for brews.

Here’s all you really need to know about the loan crisis: Bear Stearns, AIG, Wachovia, Lehman Brothers, Washington Mutual, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac and almost every bank except for those slush-funding really important things like SEC coaches and linebackers are in the tank.

Why? Because some doofus decided, “Hey! Everybody go out!” and nobody blocked. Mouse Davis took over Wall Street.

See. I don’t need no Harvard HBO.

Which leads me to Georgia. (I hate transitions.) Can anybody block?

One more sack last week in Columbia and Matthew Stafford is rooming with grubs. But this shouldn’t be a problem at Arizona State. Dennis Erickson doesn’t seem to be the same coach without a bag of Pell Grants. And, well, nobody’s going to fund a Pac-10 team outside of L.A.

Blow this out your Freddie Mac: Dogs cover 7.

NFL Value Menu

(Add fries and a field sobriety test for a complete meal)

— Chiefs at Falcons: The Chiefs didn’t split the atom last week. But they did lose to the Raiders 23-8, so that’s close. The Falcons continue to work their way down the quarterback food chain: Jon Kitna, Brian Griese and now third-string Tyler Thigpen, who was sacked three times last week but still has more working organs than the other two guys. Birds cover 5 1/2.

— Bengals at Giants: It’s not surprising Cincinnati’s defense stinks. Half the lineup is wearing orange jumpsuits on a roadside cleanup crew. But have you seen Carson Palmer’s two-game stats? Three interceptions, no TDs, 37.1 rating. Giants cover 13 1/2.

— Panthers at Vikings: The season’s biggest surprise might be Carolina going 2-0 without Steve Smith, who is so humbled that he has made it to Friday without sucker-punching a teammate. In Minnesota, Tarvaris Jackson hasn’t been punched — it just looks that way. Take the gift 3 1/2 and Carolina in an upset.

— Cowboys at Packers: Tony Romo grew up a Packers fan in Wisconsin. Fortunately, he plays professionally in Dallas, because he would have had no shot with Jessica Simpson in Green Bay. Packers pull an upset (but take the 3).

Semi-Pros

— Ms. State at Tech: The last time these teams played, Mathew Brady shot the game film. Hey, here’s something Tech fans under 70 may not be accustomed to: three games and every one has been impressive. The next three: Mississippi State, Duke and Chauncey Gardner Webb. Our little Jackets — 5-1 going into Clemson week? Tech covers 8 1/2.

— Alabama at Arkansas: Nick Saban vs. Bobby Petrino. Do they get ESPN in the underworld? This might be the first time in Saban’s career that he’s the sentimental favorite. Petrino’s stirring SEC debut: last-minute scrambles over Western Illinois and Louisiana Monroe. But the checks cash. Bama covers 9 1/2.

— Florida at Tennessee: Must’ve made Phil Fulmer feel good to see the team that beat him in week one (UCLA) get drilled by BYU 59-0 in week two. Maybe he can coach ‘em this week. Seriously, though. Florida’s Brandon Spikes recalled the Vols “quit playing” in the second half of their 59-20 swamp dive last year. Bulletin-board material: Edge, Tennessee. Everything else: Edge, Duh. Gators cover 7 1/2.

— LSU at Auburn: It’s a good thing Auburn went to a new offense this season. Otherwise there’s no way they pound Mississippi State last week 3-2. Actual fact: The home team has won the past eight meetings. I hate facts. LSU covers 2 1/2 on the road.

— Wake Forest at FSU: When Bobby Bowden not-so-secretly vowed to coach longer than Joe Paterno, did he realize he would lose to Wake Forest two straight years? My kingdom for the finish line. But: Noles cover 4.

Details, details

— Last week: 8-3 straight up, 4-6-1 against the line.

— So far, so feh: 18-10 straight up, 12-15-1 against the line.

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Will unbeaten Dogs fall again?

And now for the Tuesday Countdown …

10: The only thing that could’ve made the Cowboys-Eagles game better was if I had just one of those players on my Fantasy League team. But no. I’m stuck with Matt Hasselbeck.

9: OK, I know the rankings don’t mean anything in September. But when exactly does this win-but-fail poll tumble end?

8: If Georgia wins “unimpressively” at Arizona State and Florida wins at Tennessee, it’s conceivable that the Bulldogs will fall again in the AP rankings to fourth behind the Gators. (The teams are separated by only 23 points now.) And if the Dogs struggle but win at home in two weeks against Alabama and LSU is coming off a road win at Auburn and a lopsided victory over Mississippi State, might not the Tigers leapfrog a couple of teams? And if Missouri annihilates Nebraska and Oklahoma State … seriously, at what point does unbeaten Georgia drop out of the top 10?

7: Just read the police report on Lawyer Milloy’s arrest for DUI and speeding. The officer wrote that during one of the field sobriety tests: “The third evaluation was the one leg stand. I asked the driver if he had any medical problems with his back, legs or feet that would prevent him from completing this evaluation. He stated, ‘I hurt my left foot.’” This won’t please the Falcons. Normally, NFL injury reports aren’t public until Wednesday.

6: Hot actress Megan Fox tells GQ magazine that she once fell in love with a female stripper. OMG! Does she drink Budweiser and eat Pop-Tarts, too? We’re, like, so twinsies!

5: Baseball playoffs: Yankees out, Dodgers in. Imagine this is going over differently in the Steinbrenner and Torre households?

4: Some appear to be in an uproar over Milwaukee firing manager Ned Yost during a pennant race. Why? What has Ned Yost ever done? He doesn’t have a resume (like Joe Torre) and the Brewers are about to fall out a playoff spot despite making one of the greatest trade-deadline acquisitions in years (C.C. Sabathia).

3: The Seattle Seahawks are 0-2 and, more importantly, assistant head coach/secondary Jim Mora’s defense just allowed 33 points to the San Francisco 49ers and 321 yards passing by an obscurity, J.T. O’Sullivan. Question: Is that plan to have Mora take over the Seahawks next season in stone?

2: The Thrashers are starting all-you-can-eat seats this season. Might I suggest you go for refills during the power play?

1: The Atlanta Dream just finished their season 4-30. Somebody probably should be fired, but I have no idea who works for them.

Permalink | Comments (70) | Post your comment | Categories: Dream, Falcons/NFL, Thrashers/NHL, UGA/SEC

We will now find out about Falcons’ grit

Flowery Branch — One week after Matt Ryan introduced himself with a touchdown pass, Michael Turner broke a rushing record and Mike Smith won a game and gave the world a game ball, some joker had to go plug in an old videotape.

The Falcons were drilled at Tampa Bay Sunday, and before the sun came up Monday, Lawyer Milloy — team leader Lawyer Milloy — was charged with DUI and speeding, and spent five hours in a Gwinnett County jail.

Franchise exorcism: Not so complete.

Now, this doesn’t mean the Falcons are on the verge of collapse, and it doesn’t mean anybody should start looking for more black-painted shacks on Moonlight Road, and it doesn’t mean one insanely stupid act should obliterate Milloy’s 13 wonderful seasons in the NFL. He is known as a standup guy, although something is wrong when a standup guy doesn’t show up Monday to, well, stand up in front of the media. (He finally released a one-sentence statement through his attorney 16 hours after his arrest.)

But if the Falcons were wondering when their first test would come, this is it. We find out about athletes and teams when they are under duress. We will now start to find out about the Falcons.

The loss to Tampa was a cold slap back to reality. It’s never certain how a young, potentially fragile team will react to that. The arrest of Milloy might not seem like a big deal to some. (Newsflash: Football players often decompress and numb themselves after games.) But the fact this involved such a high-profile player on a franchise toting so much baggage elevates its significance.

“It’s a sad situation, and it’s definitely not what we need after a loss,” fullback Ovie Mughelli said, shortly after hearing about Milloy. “But he’s human. We’re all human. We’re all about trying to live in the now and doing what we can to fix everything we can. I’m not worried. We’ve been through harder things in the past.”

The last time the Falcons had a player involved in something at 4:30 a.m., Rod Coleman had left a bar and flipped his Escalade after swerving to miss a deer. Or was it a 10-foot rabbit? Leprechaun?

The team did not handle that well. Jim Mora played dodgeball with questions. Everybody else went under cover.

It wasn’t quite that bad Monday. Smith said the team was “extremely disappointed” and that Milloy’s act was “completely unacceptable.” But he said the matter will be “handled internally,” which is something out of the coaches’ handbook. He said he couldn’t elaborate because he was handcuffed by the Collective Bargain Agreement.

There was a degree of truth to that. Matters pertaining to drugs and alcohol fall under one set of rules in the CBA. Incidents deemed in violation of the NFL’s personal conduct policy (example: “Pacman” Jones) fall under another. Technically, a player can’t be suspended or even fined for a drug or alcohol offense until the matter runs its course in the legal system.

However, Smith could have been a little more enlightening than, “We’ll handle the matter internally.” Certainly, Milloy could have been present to address the matter. This will be an issue when the team resumes practice Wednesday.

We can’t yet know how fragile this team is. For that matter, we can’t even be certain of Milloy. He didn’t seem enamored of playing for a rebuilding project this season. He is in the final year of his contract. The Falcons wanted him back to help steady their young roster, but they weren’t going to sweeten his contract. There’s potential for some ripple effect.

For now, they all stand together. Players say they will bounce back from all of the inglorious headlines.

“When you play in this league, a lot of things come your way,” Keith Brooking said. “You just have to put blinders on. We just got beat by Tampa Bay, and now we have Kansas City standing in front of us. Anything else, you’ve got to put that to the side.”

It sounds so easy. We’re about to find out how.

Permalink | Comments (16) | Categories: Falcons/NFL

Bulldogs 3-0, mostly because of Stafford

Columbia — If this season turns into something special, it won’t be because of what we were subjected to Saturday. The dropped passes, the poor pass protection, the blur of inane late hits and 112 yards in penalties — those are things the mind tends to flush when a season ends with a championship.

But if this season does turn into something special, Georgia can look back on one thing Saturday as the reason why: It was the day Matthew Stafford defined resolve.

He got beat up like in no game, he said, since his freshman season, “back when I didn’t really know what I was doing.” He was sacked four times. He was abandoned by his blockers and, at times, his catchers.

So what did he do? He led.

Georgia opened SEC play short on style points. They defeated South Carolina 14-7 despite doing way too many things wrong for a second-ranked team.

But they are 3-0, mostly because of Stafford. He had runs of 17 and 30 yards, the second of which set up the Bulldogs’ only touchdown. He also set up a field goal by hitting receiver A.J. Green in stride for 39 yards on third-and-21. But mostly, he endured.

“Winning a game like this, when things don’t go well, is huge for our confidence,” he said.

“We’re not going to steamroll every team we play. It was a good test. We have true freshman all over the place. It’s good that we came here, we struggled and we came through.”

Somebody had to lead them. Stafford? He is now 20-4 as a starter.

Two years ago was his somewhat-bizarre coming-out party in Columbia. He was 18 years old. He had come off the bench in the 2006 opener against Western Kentucky, throwing a touchdown pass. Before the South Carolina game, coach Mark Richt said Joe Tereshinski III would start again, but he wouldn’t declare who the backup was, Stafford or Joe Cox.

Secrecy over the backup?

But when Tereshinski suffered an early ankle injury, it was Stafford who came in. He proceeded to exhibit both ends of the talented freshman spectrum. He had three interceptions but threw for 171 yards, including a key 39-yarder to Mohamed Massaquoi on play-action, audibled to a run play that led to a touchdown — and won 18-0.

“I had a whole different mind-set back then,” he said. “I didn’t really know what I was doing. I felt a lot better this week.”

Look beyond the pedestrian numbers (15-for-25, 146 yards). Never mind that for the third time against South Carolina he failed to throw a touchdown pass. Consider: Tripp Chandler dropped third-down passes on the first two possessions. Kris Durham bobbled a potential touchdown as he ran out of the end zone. Richard Samuel had another possible TD slip between his hands.

It was clear: Central Michigan week was over.

In the second quarter, Stafford faked a handoff to Knowshon Moreno on second down and ran 17 yards to midfield. Five plays later, he hooked up with Green for 39 yards to set up a field goal. Later came Stafford’s 30-yard run to the Gamecocks’ 4 in the third, setting up Moreno’s go-ahead touchdown. Both of Stafford’s runs were zone reads: He reads the linebacker and has the option to keep the ball or hand it to Moreno.

“It was nice to be able to contribute with my legs, I guess,” Stafford said, laughing. “But I don’t see us winning with me running the rock, too much.”

The last spasm got him to the four.

“Slow,” Stafford said when asked to describe his running style.

His teammates have resisted making jokes. But Stafford does enough of that for everybody. Durham, alluding to one of Stafford’s runs against Central Michigan, said: “When he was running out of bounds, he was laughing. I asked him later, ‘How can you play out here in front of 90,000 people and laugh?’ He said, ‘Because I thought about how bad it was going to look on film.’ “

Stafford limped around badly following Saturday’s win.

Asked what hurts, he said, “A little bit of everything. But I’m good to go.”

And if Georgia continues to win, now you know why.

Permalink | Comments (148) | Post your comment | Categories: UGA/SEC

Predictions: Spurrier’s nothing to be paranoid about

According to legend, my favorite source, the term paranoia was first used in the late 1800s by the noted psychiatrist, Emil Kraepelin, who took note of his patients with delusional beliefs but no seeming deterioration in intellectual abilities.

It’s believed Kraepelin also recognized his own paranoia, because no matter how hard he tried, he became convinced that German chicks don’t dig the long-winded — and he kept losing debates to his biggest rival, Ludwig Von Spurrierhauser.

Which brings me to Saturday.

Kraepelin is so dead. Paranoia, not so much.

South Carolina stinks. Steve Spurrier has lost five straight SEC games. That includes two losses to Vanderbilt, which wouldn’t be so bad if we were comparing, like, libraries.

No wonder they’re all manic-depressive in Columbia. It’s bad enough having to live there.

But Georgia fans? They still have this thing about Spurrier. It dates to Florida. OK. And last year.

But has any nuisance of a rivalry ever looked so one-sided?

Spurrier can’t decide on a quarterback. Or a gameplan. Or a play. He has had one winning season since he left Florida seven years ago. No wonder out-of-state recruits laugh at him.

Georgia’s coach-quarterback-running-back trio of Mark Richt-Matthew Stafford-Knowshon Moreno ranks up there with any the program has ever had.

The line is seven. Am I missing something?

Separating fact from delusion: Dogs cover.

Keggers
GaTech at VaTech: The Hokies lost to East Carolina, struggled offensively against Furman, lost four of their past five bowls games and are getting drilled by fans on the “Hokie Hotline” radio show. Frank Beamer’s response to one caller: “We’ve got good coaches, the players are going to get better and I think you’re out of whack.” At least now we know where DeAngelo Hall gets his thick skin from. Jackets lose but keep it close. Take the 6 1/2.
Ohio State at The Real USC: Excuse the regional intrusion. Jim Tressel now says “Beanie” Wells is doubtful. Could be lying. Doesn’t matter. This team barely beat Ohio. Nobody can fake it that good. Trojans cover the 10 1/2.
UAB at Tennessee: The Blazers have allowed 94 points in two games to Tulsa and Florida Atlantic. Fortunately, they take a step down this week. After the Vowels’ effort UCLA two weeks ago, I’m kinda liking the 30.
Auburn at Missy State: Sylvester Croom won this game a year ago at Auburn, which pretty much made the Bulldogs’ season until the win over Alabama, which of course made everybody’s season. Well. He’ll always have the memories. Tigers cover 10 1/2.

Pros, Fantasy and Matt Cassel
Falcons at Bucs: Jim Mora is the only Falcon head coach to win his first two games. Everything was great until the ammounium nitrate smoothies started to cloud his judgment. Mike Smith has the advantage of not being a nut job and will start the same QB (Matt Ryan) for the second game, which gives him an advantage over Jon Gruden, who has started seven QBs and exactly won zero playoff games since the Super Bowl in 2002. This week: Jeff Garcia is out; Brian Griese is in. Who’d a thunk this? Upset II forthcoming: Take the Birds and seven.
Eagles at Cowboys: True story: Tony Romo won a game in Cleveland last week, then on his way home from the airport he stopped to help an elderly couple change a flat tire. Sure, he’s in great September. Dallas covers seven.
Mushhead at Bengals: The good news is, Vince Young’s mom seems pretty tough. Bengals are awful but even they can’t botch this one.
Patriots Lite at Jets: Gisele Bundchen said this week she has no intention of marrying Tom Brady, and I’m sure the timing is a complete coincidence. On a related note, she thinks Matt Cassel has a cute butt. Check? Going against the mock: Gimme the Pats and 1 1/2.
Colts at Vikings: Peyton: The lesser Manning. Still, Indy covers the deuce.
Niners at Seahawks: Alex Smith is out for the season. SanFran’s quarterback depth chart hasn’t looked this good since Montana was drafted. Seattle covers seven.

Who’s Counting?
• Last week: Never happened.
• Details, details: 6-5 straight up, 4-7 against the line. • Bottom dollars: 10-7 straight up, 8-9 against the line.

Permalink | Comments (57) | Post your comment | Categories: Tech/ACC, UGA/SEC

D-Hall done in by rookie WR

And now for the Tuesday Countdown:

10: The Oakland Raiders hoped DeAngelo Hall would be a difference-maker. And he is. He just turned Eddie Royal into Jerry Rice.

9: The overrated, turbo-lipped, egomaniacal, salary-cap deadweight largely was responsible for Denver rookie Eddie Royal’s nine catches for 146 yards and one touchdown in the Broncos’ 41-14 win in Oakland Monday. Hall thought he was underappreciated and underpaid by the Falcons. Turns out, his subtraction may have been the Falcons’ biggest step forward. He took no responsibility for Royal’s performance or the loss. Wait, there’s more …

8: Hall was flagged for personal fouls twice in a span of three plays. That led to a Denver touchdown. Raiders coach Lane Kiffin then pulled him aside to discuss the matter. Hall? He argued. Any of this sound familiar? After the game, Hall claimed the Broncos “outschemed us.” Try again. This was Denver quarterback Jay Cutler’s response: “We played one-on-one football with them. We didn’t outscheme them. Eddie Royal beat DeAngelo Hall time after time after time. That’s what happened.”

7: Item: Miami coach Randy Shannon is upset that Florida coach Urban Meyer chose to kick a field goal with 25 seconds left and the Gators up by 20 points. Comment: Mark Richt learned in week one that a team’s degree-of-domination weighs in the minds of pollsters. When Randy Shannon has a top 10 team and doesn’t pour it on at the end of the game, then he can talk.

6: Speaking of which, USC held onto its top spot in the rankings. The Trojans had a bye week - yet they went from 21 first-place votes to 33. Must’ve looked really good on the couch.

5: Welcome back, David Pollack. We knew he’d come back to Georgia after his playing days were done. We just didn’t expect to be this soon. But a question: Shouldn’t he be somewhere down 316?

4: Pollack has a quick wit and should do great on the radio and television when he settles in. But just an opinion here: Given his place in Georgia football history, the Bulldogs should find some way to get him involved in athletics. Either that or he could run for mayor of Athens.

3: So. Are the Jets looking at Chatsworth High (L.A.) tape to get some insight into Matt Cassel? Something is wrong when the New England Patriots go from Tom Brady at quarterback to a guy who hasn’t started a game since high school. Cassel also was a backup at USC. I realize winning three Super Bowls in four years generally makes a franchise immune to criticism. But how do the Patriots go this long without having a veteran backup?

2: Lance Armstrong is coming back? Does that mean I have to care about cycling again?

1: You know that what-goes-around/comes-around thing? Bobby Petrino plays Texas, Alabama, Florida and Auburn in the next four games.

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More than just a victory for Falcons

This wasn’t a victory. It was a cleansing breath.

The cowardly coach who scrambled to Arkansas. The misguided quarterback who crash-landed in Leavenworth. The ill-fated romancing of the reptilian Bill Parcells as pooh-bah. All of it. Gone. It was like some greater power drifted into the Georgia Dome Sunday and took a power-washer to the entire franchise.

“You have wins that are important,” Falcons owner Arthur Blank said Sunday. “But to me, for this coaching staff, for these players, for Atlanta, for our fans, this is a win in capital letters. Giant capitals. It sets the tone.”

The Falcons opened the season Sunday with a 34-21 win over the Detroit Lions. They went from an 18-month nightmare to a perfectly scripted afternoon of bliss.

It’s only one win in a 16-game season.

Why does it seem like more than that?

Matt Ryan, the quarterback they drafted first, threw a 62-yard touchdown pass on his first NFL pass. He directed touchdown drives in the team’s first three possessions. He responded like a pro when asked later if he expected either: “Uh, no.”

Michael Turner, the running back signed as a free agent from San Diego, rushed for a franchise-record 220 yards and two touchdowns in his first game. His biggest problem will be an encore.

Mike Smith, a career assistant coach, won his first game answering to no one.

Thomas Dimitroff, a career scout who took a weedwacker to this roster in the off-season, won his first game as a general manager.

Blank? He just floated. The throbbing pain in his temples had finally subsided.

Understand, this team hasn’t been surrounded by either good fortune or believers. National publications have universally picked the team to finish in last place (The Sporting News’ projection: 1-15). The season-ticket holders that didn’t rebel last season merely slept through it — then fled after it.

It was the greatest exodus since scripture.

The front office scrambled to ensure Sunday’s opener would be sold out and televised locally. They achieved their objective. But thousands of tickets either were discounted, given away or maybe tossed into a dumpster off Northside. It was a “sellout” with elbow room. At least 15,000 seats were empty.

One game won’t make believers out of everyone. But suddenly 2008 doesn’t project like a disastrous extension of 2007.

Blank made the most of the day. Nobody deserved this more. He beamed a smile that hadn’t been so wide since the Falcons made it to the NFC title game in 2004. He soaked it all for the final minutes on the sideline. When the final seconds ticked away, he grabbed the game ball, walked with the players and coaches into the locker room and then presented the game ball to Smith.

“Obviously it has been a long journey for him and I know how hard he worked with Thomas on this roster,” Blank said.

Smith is beloved by his players. He then showed why. He held the ball, turned to the players and announced that every one of them will receive a game ball.

“Mike just said, ‘It’s not about me, it’s about everybody,’ ” recalled Dimitroff, who was in the room. “I guess they’ll all be looking for that in their mailboxes.”

It was one more embrace than we ever witnessed a year ago, to or from Bobby Petrino.

One game. One win. It felt like so much more.

Dimitroff shredded the roster he inherited. Sunday’s team included seven rookies and 13 free agents and 11 new starters. Gone were Warrick Dunn and Alge Crumpler and Rod Coleman and so many others. Gone was the franchise centerpiece, Michael Vick.

Dimitroff trained under the best personnel man in the NFL, New England’s Scott Pioli. Blank hired him after his pursuit of Parcells blew up. One thing that went wrong actually went right.

Dimitroff was preoccupied before the game. He missed a call to his cell phone. Fortunately, Pioli left a message.

“It was a real emotional message about the magnitude of having the chance to do what I do in this game,” Dimitroff said. “He just said to enjoy the first game, embrace the moment. It left a lump in my throat.”

Next week, the Falcons will play game two. It will be strange circumstances. They’ll have something good to look back on.

Permalink | Comments (212) | Post your comment | Categories: Falcons/NFL

Paul Johnson will not waver, even if Jackets do

Paul Johnson will tell you he played almost every position in football as a youth, and when he adds, “I wasn’t really good at any of them,” it comes off as less an admission than a badge of honor.

He just played, free of delusions of riches or celebrity. He just played, and he figured one day he would just coach, maybe back at his old high school in Newland, N.C. (population: 704, give or take a picnic).

“As a general rule, some of the best players aren’t great coaches,” he said. “They get frustrated with guys because it was easy for them. That wasn’t the case with me. Some guys get motivated by the reward at the end. I’m motivated by the thought of what happens if you don’t do well. Fear of failure. People saying you can’t do something. People saying you can’t do this or you can’t run that offense. That’s what gets me going.”

The small-town kid steps onto a bigger stage today, even if he doesn’t quite see it that way. Football is football, Johnson believes, whether it’s Avery County High School or Navy or Georgia Tech. But when the Jackets travel to Boston College today, how can it not be seen as the first major test of Johnson’s regime? If Jacksonville State was like the welcoming committee, consecutive games at Boston College and Virginia Tech are like a two-punch reality check.

Johnson makes no promises. He knows better. His team is young. The roster is short on scholarships. It’s a new coaching staff teaching a new offense. It was a chore just getting offensive and defensive players to acknowledge each other. (“The team was split into different factions when I got here.”)

He wants to win at Tech. He believes he can win at Tech. But look elsewhere for grand proclamations. These things take time, even if administrators and booster clubs and ticket sales often mandate otherwise.

“We could go up and beat Boston College, and what does that mean?” Johnson said. “We could go up and lose, and what does that mean? It’s a long season. … We’ve got a chance to win every game. We’ve got a chance to lose every game.”

Every coach says he doesn’t care what people think. When Johnson says it, you actually believe it. His manner is direct and without pretense. He is the anti-Petrino. If things don’t work, it won’t be because he cowered to public pressure or panicked and changed plans in mid-stream. He is tough and he’s a disciplinarian, and there’s a reason for that.

“Part of it is the way you grow up,” he said. “I grew up in a mill town, playing sports. My dad coached me in sports. I think sometimes when your dad coaches, especially in a small town, it forces you to kind of toe the line a little bit more than the other guy.”

This newspaper ran a photo last Sunday of Johnson grabbing Embry Peeples’ jersey, admonishing the freshman for missing a block. It has been a source of amusement for the coach and player all week. But Johnson caught some flak. An e-mailer criticized him, maintaining that yelling at players is counterproductive and it doesn’t build character. It prompted Johnson to joke on his radio show: “I forwarded the e-mail to the Marine Corps, because they want to build character, and I know they never yell at anybody.”

“Everybody has their own ideas about how to do things,” Johnson said later. “I have a 15-year-old daughter, and she thinks she knows what’s best all the time. But I don’t think she does. It’s like me checking on players [attending] classes. It’s about accountability. They say, ‘We’re grown men. We don’t need you to do that.’ Well, if that were true, I wouldn’t have to check. Deep down I think people want discipline and accountability.”

Eventually the Jackets will get there, Johnson said, even if the schedule isn’t going to wait.

Permalink | Comments (45) | Post your comment | Categories: Tech/ACC

Football picks, stoned Sumo wrestlers and a Falcons upset

Before unveiling this week’s financial guarantees, an update from the Fareast Conference:

Two Russian sumo wrestlers tested positive for marijuana this week. It’s apparently the first drug scandal in the 2,000-year history of sumo, which shatters the NBA’s record of 12 minutes and is kind of surprising given sumos can weigh as much as 500 pounds without a single-case of the munchies. (Just had a vision: Sumos at 2 a.m. after six bongs hits, terrorizing the QuikTrip microwave burrito warmer. OMG.)

“Many of us once thought only outlaws would use drugs, but that reality is long gone,” said Tsuneo Kondo, the director of Drug Addiction Rehabilitation Center in Tokyo. “They can be college students or housewives.”

Where has this dude been?

Imagine what Kondo might have said of the Falcons’ ticket sales: “The opener is not yet sold out. This comes as a great shock to us, given not once has anybody attended a game and been attacked by cannibals.”

The Falcons announced Thursday that the opener against Detroit is sold out. This came after putting tickets on the clearance table, next to Greg Knapp’s playbook and the irregular socks. Also after the final 1,500 were purchased by two TV stations, a cable company, Boys and Girls Clubs, a Swiss bank and the Red Cross (which might want to stick around).

Matt Ryan makes his first official start. Fortunately, it’s at quarterback and not in the Falcons’ secondary, which could look like scorched earth by the time Roy Williams and Calvin Johnson are finished.

Dude. Feeling the need for numbing agents. Then again, it’s only Jon Kitna.

Am I hallucinating? Take the three and Falcons in an upset.

NFL Six-Pack
Hamlet Bowl: Brett Favre retired, cried, pledged his love for the Green Bay Packers, then turned down millions to stay retired to play for the New York Jets. Bill Parcells needed another hug, suckered Arthur Blank, then signed with Miami. Tough call here on which face-plant will be met with more cheers. But I got a hunch for Week 1: Fins in an upset (but take the three).

Vikings at Packers: The last time Aaron Rodgers started a game was against Texas Tech in the Holiday Bowl four years ago. No pressure. Take the 2 1/2 and Vikes in a mild upset.

Chiefs at Patriots: Tom Brady hasn’t taken a snap, which differentiates them from the Chiefs, who just don’t want to take a snap. Sixteen is covered.

Panthers at Chargers: Bold move by coach John Fox suspending his best player, Steve Smith, for sucker-punching teammate Ken Lucas. Let’s see how much team unity that decision builds when Carolina starts 0-2. Chargers cover nine.

Bears at Colts: I’d probably show more concern about Peyton Manning’s knee if I didn’t just draft Joseph Addai and Marvin Harrison on my Fantasy League team. So like: Colts, 97-0.

Cowboys at Browns: I know Dallas is the fashionable pick in the NFC. But what’s the chance Adam “Pacman” Jones and Tank Johnson make it through five months without a felony? Oh wait. Michael Irvin is counseling Pacman. Never mind. Dallas wins covers 5 1/2.

A Few Good Keggers (All winning coaches will be annexed into Tommy Bowden’s Fave Five.)
Tech at Boston College: No Tech coach has ever won his first ACC game, so at least Paul Johnson won’t throw off the curve if the Jackets lose Saturday. But how’s this for a schedule boomerang after beating Jacksonville State: at B.C., at Virginia Tech, home vs. Mississippi State. Not feeling it this week. Eagles cover seven.

Central Michigan at Georgia: Uga VII fell asleep last week when it was 38-0. He must have an AP vote. Mark Richt generally isn’t the type to play trampoline on opposing coaches’ stomachs and make them yell uncle. But given the backdrop, I’m thinking this mercy isn’t quite even money this week. The line: 23 1/2. So covered.

La-Monroe at El Diablo: Good start for Bobby Petrino: Arkansas trailed I-AA Western Illinois by 10 points in the fourth quarter before scrambling to win, and Darren McFadden’s replacement, Michael Smith, was suspended for an undefined “textbook violation” (opening it?). But at least Petrino hasn’t quit yet. Trooper. Pigs cover 12 1/2.

Miami at Florida: Randy Shannon calls this a measuring stick. Measuring sticks don’t crush you like falling pianos. Gators cover 21 1/2.

So far, not bad
Last week: 4-2 straight up, 4-2 against the line.
• You will bow to me: After taking UCLA and the points vs. PumpkinButt.

Permalink | Comments (58) | Post your comment | Categories: Falcons/NFL, Tech/ACC, UGA/SEC

 

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