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Home > Jeff Schultz > Archives > 2008 > June > 10
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
The Tuesday Countdown
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
10: We start this week’s Countdown with something other than a laugh. Ken Stabler, the former NFL quarterback and Alabama icon, was arrested this past weekend for DUI and reckless driving. For those keeping score, this makes three DUIs since 1995. There comes a point in when even a loveable, drunk redneck from Alabama morphs into a pathetic loser. Stabler has blown past that point.
9: Not funny. Not cute. Did you read the story in Monday’s AJC about the creature, with multiple DUI convictions, who drove her pickup truck into a house in Powder Springs, killing a sleeping teenage boy? Before the Alabama courts do anything, they should make Stabler sit down with that boy’s parents and explain to them why he feels the need to get hammered before climbing behind the wheel.
8: Stabler does radio commentary on Alabama games. Or at least used to. Hopefully. Because if the school and its radio affiliate don’t fire Stabler, they’re either dumber or drunker than he is.
7: He is 62 going on 12. He was arrested for drunk driving in 2001 but pled to a slap on the wrist. He was arrested in 1995 and pled no contest. The man swims in whiskey. He’s proud of it. He once explained his divorces this way: “All I wanna do is drive around in my truck and drink Jack Daniels … and they just don’t understand.” Wrong, Dunderhead. It’s you who doesn’t get it.
6: Transition. The Chicago Bears released Cedric Benson after consecutive DUIs on water (boat) and land (car). Also not funny. But this is: In a statement after the driving DUI, Benson basically admitted guilt (“I apologize for making the poor decision to drink and drive …”) but suggested he would fight charges (“Though my local attorneys will continue to work hard to prove my innocence …”). Oy.
5: Hawks general manager Rick Sund has been on the job for two weeks and he still hasn’t made a decision on Mike Woodson - at least not publicly. Regardless of whether you think Woodson should be dumped or re-signed, is it right to keep somebody twisting in the wind for that long?
4: Ron Wilson, who lives in Hilton Head and knows Don Waddell from USA Hockey, showed little interest in the Thrashers job. What does that tell you?
3: The teams with the top three payrolls in baseball (Yankees, Mets, Tigers) have a combined record of 88-101. The teams with the bottom three payrolls (Marlins, Rays, A’s) are a combined 105-84.
2: What is it about hot Florida high school teachers having flings with 16-year-old students? And why was I born in California?
1: If it makes Chipper Jones feel any better, Ted Williams hit .406 in 1941, and the Boston Red Sox didn’t make the playoffs, either.
