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DEL.ICIO.USParents: Let’s be careful
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
With school starting, it’s that time again. Incompetent or uncaring coaches are hampering a child’s athletic prospects. So say distraught parents, who contact me with tales of dismay. And while their view may indeed be accurate, more than likely, there is blame to be shared.
What’s a caring mom, or dad, to do?
I called Lawrenceville’s Jim Brown, a former college coach, administrator and professor with a doctorate in health and physical education. Brown, executive editor of Sports Performance Journal, writes for several other sports science publications and is author of the book “Sports Talent: How to Identify and Develop Outstanding Athletes.”
Here’s a recent question-and-answer session with him:
Q: How important is parental involvement for young athletes?
A: It’s important, but it’s very easy to cross that line. By getting your kids involved too early. By asking or letting them do too much. By forcing them to specialize too early. Then, trying to be a coach and parent and not [leaving] the ball on the field when you get home. There are a lot of conscientious parents doing [things] for the right reasons … but when they start coaching from the stands and the kid looks at them after every pitch, every shot, they probably crossed that line.
Q: So where do you draw the line?
A: Every case is different. A researcher in Canada looked at world-class athletes and how their parents did it. There was sort of a continuum, where you are very involved in the beginning and as the kid gets better, you back off. You do give financial support, moral support and logistical support, but you kind of back off the coaching and going to prac- tices, watching every game and all that stuff… .
That seems to be a model that has worked pretty well… . Now these were probably middle, upper-middle class [families]. They were not coming out of inner-city situations, so it might not [always] apply.
Q: Does “my-way-or-the-highway” coaching still work?
A: There are probably areas where you can still do that. Most kids are looking for discipline and structure, even though they might rebel. But there are some absolutes about what you can and cannot do at practices and how you respect the coach. But sure, you have to make some adjustments for what is happening in society [and] the changes that are reflected in a lot of different ways.
But there are some basic elements of coaching and handling kids that were true then and are still true today. If you don’t get carried away, and go complete Vince Lombardi-type, there’s certainly a place for order.
Q: What if the coach is unfairly treating a child?
A: Unless the kid is being physically or verbally abused, I always tell the parent to finish the season, then reassess your position. Don’t let your kid [just] walk out. There’s nothing wrong with talking to the coach during the season, as long as it’s done privately. There is a lesson to be taught about finishing what you start.
It’s not always going to be rosy out there. There are good coaches, bad coaches, mediocre coaches and there are kids that are the same way. But you don’t walk out if things are going badly.
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