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Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Humor in the Ga., Tenn. water brawl?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Already brawling with Florida and Alabama, its neighbors to the south and west, Georgia’s gone and picked a third fight with Tennessee, its neighbor to the north. And all of it over water.
After the Georgia Legislature passed a resolution claiming that a misdrawn border had stripped the Peach State of its legal right to water from the Tennessee River, the Tennessee Legislature fired back. It accused its Georgia colleagues of “an election-year ploy (that) is nothing but a veiled attempt to to commandeer the resources of the Tennessee River for the benefit of water-starved Atlanta, which is either unable or unwilling to control its reckless urban sprawl.”
The mayor of Chattanooga, however, saw humor in the situation. In a proclamation, he noted that “the leaders of Georgia have assembled like the Children of Israel in the desert, grumbled among themselves and have begun to cast longing eyes toward the north, coveting their neighbor’s assets,” and worried that “if today they come for our river, tomorrow they might come for our Jack Daniels or George Dickel.” (Read the proclamation.)
So, “in the interest of brotherly love, peace, friendship, mutual prosperity, citywide self promotion, political grandstanding and all that,” Mayor Ron Littlefield is sending a truckload of fresh water to the Georgia General Assembly. But will that gesture be enough to cool the rising political heat? And while we’re at it, should we go ahead and claim that George Dickel distillery?
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Proclamation from Chattanooga mayor
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
PROCLAMATION
WHEREAS, it has come to pass that the heavens are shut up and a drought of Biblical proportions has been visited upon the Southern United States, and
WHEREAS, the parched and dry conditions have weighed heavily upon the State of Georgia and sorely afflicted those who inhabit the Great City of Atlanta, and
WHEREAS, the leaders of Georgia have assembled like the Children of Israel in the desert, grumbled among themselves and have begun to cast longing eyes toward the north, coveting their neighbor’s assets, and
WHEREAS, the lack of water has led some misguided souls to seek more potent refreshment or for other reasons has resulted in irrational and outrageous actions seeking to move a long established and peaceful boundary, and
WHEREAS, it is deemed better to light a candle than curse the darkness, and better to offer a cool, wet kiss of friendship rather than face a hot and angry legislator gone mad from thirst, and
Whereas, it is feared that if today they come for our river, tomorrow they might come for our Jack Daniels or George Dickel,
NOW THEREFORE, In the interest of brotherly love, peace, friendship, mutual prosperity, citywide self promotion, political grandstanding and all that
I Ron Littlefield, Mayor of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee, Do hereby Proclaim that Wednesday, February 27, 2008 shall be known as “Give Our Georgia Friends a Drink Day”
