Healthy Eating

By ryan

April 21, 2006 10:02 AM | Link to this

This just came up this past weekend. I have a friend who simply doesn’t understand it’s not the waiters job to sit there as he hems and haws about what to order. Despite repeatedly asking the waiter to come back his indecision is teeth-grating. I think folks should remember the waiter is balancing your needs with the needs of other hungry folks and they deserve a little more respect of their time. I don’t know about any of you but when I’m working I expect folks to respect my time as well.

By scott

April 21, 2006 10:19 AM | Link to this

I can assure you that the smaller hips, bigger tips line would definitely work for me if I was your server…I truly think the days of pre-judging a table on what they are going to tip are gone. Most quality people in our industry are cognizant of the health conscious segment of society and want you to enjoy your experience. Sure there are exceptions, but the bottom line is that if you get what you want and have great service in the process - you will come back and that means continual money for me.

By Soph

April 21, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this

Smaller hips, bigger tips.

I love it! It’s a novel idea. My friend and I lost over 100 lbs together, and whenever we went out we had a litany of requests. It went something like:

No butter No oil No mayo Lowfat Dressing, on the side Grilled not fried Diet soda, please

It was exhausting for us, so I can only imagine how the server felt! Thanks for the smart suggestion.

After a while, we just bypassed all restaurants and went straight for the sushi bars. Lots of great choices without the portion and fat issues.

By Nikki

April 21, 2006 10:22 AM | Link to this

I have been a waitress & a bartender. When I go out, I expect to be treated the way I treated my customers. I am not demanding. I will ask for veggies(grilled if possible),instead of french fries or cole slaw. I will send the food back if it’s not right. I do leave a tip if the service is bad service. The server has a chance for up to a 30 % tip as soon as they walk up to my table. If I leave 15 % to the penny, the service was lousy. Having been in the business, everyone can have an off day. We went to the same eatery 4 times to see if the service was really as bad as we had gotten. Let’s just say that we never went back after the 4th trip. As a matter of fact,we left without eating. Seems the server took our order but never gave it to the kitchen. Then she vanished. Seems she quit before they could fire her. We were told after being there over an hour that we need to re order. The new server (she brought us nothing) wanted us pay for drinks as we were leaving- she wanted a tip for nothing ! We were told by the manager that we would be charged for nothing due to the problem. Never wnet back & don’t think I’d send anyone I liked there was dinner.

By MrLiberty

April 21, 2006 10:24 AM | Link to this

Here’s what it comes down to - you are the customer. Either the restaurant is willing to take care of you, or you don’t come back.

I am a vegetarian and I have found quite a mixed bag of issues at various Atlanta restaurants. At the Chili’s in Tucker I asked for a pasta dish to be made without chicken. That was all. It came with the chicken. They took it back and the chef obviously just picked the chicken out (he left a few that were visible). After much yelling at the manager the meal was free and I have never been back. I went to Chops with some business colleagues. I called in advance to make sure there was at least something for me to have. They asked what party I was going to be with. The waiter already knew there was a vegetarian in the party when we sat down. I was asked if I wanted Vegan (no animal products at all) or if I was and ovo or lacto vegetarian (eggs or dairy). The waiter went to talk with the chef, came back and gave me some suggestions, and I ended up having a wonderful Vegan pasta dish while my co-workers were able to enjoy their dishes of death. Imagine my surprise when a restaurant known for its meat cared enough about all of its patrons to make accomodations. No, I won’t be back unless someone else is picking up the tab - why would I want to support a restaurant like that? - but it was very nice to see that some restaurants do care. My co-workers also know that they can include me if a trip to Chops is in the future.

I would suggest for anyone needing to be accomodated at a restaurant that they call ahead and make sure that you will acutally end up with something to eat other than a bowl of plain lettuce. Realize that they plan for folks to order off the menu and not to make special requests. As such, don’t be a pain. Do get the waiter on your side, but realize that there is only so much they can do. It may be that eating out just isn’t going to be in the cards for you anymore. If enough restaurants feel the pinch of losing customers, maybe they will alter their menus to accomodate. Most importantly, realize that it is just one meal. If you are forced into a salad or similar item because they are just not prepared to provide you with something better, wait till the meal is over, let the manager know of your disappointment and that you will not be returning.

By Shell

April 21, 2006 10:39 AM | Link to this

A very good suggestion, Carolyn. A good comment from ryan, too. Too many people act as though a waiter or waitress is their personal servant, with no responsibilities other than to cater to their every whim. I’m appalled by the way some people treat the wait staff when they go out. Especially those who go to a, shall we say “downmarket” or perhaps “family”, restaurant and act as though they’re at Sans Souci and paying several hundred dollars for a “dining experience” rather than few bucks a head for dinner. Such behavior proves two things: Someone who is nice to you and rude to the waiter is not a nice person; and those who pay the least whine and demand the most.

And please don’t anyone say “I’m paying and I have the right to expect a certain level of service.” First, you’re paying for the privilege of partaking of the establishment’s wares, you don’t have a “right” to anything. It’s a business deal. Their end of it is to provide good service and good fare. Your end of it is to show a certain amount of respect for the business, its staff, and its other customers. Remember, you’re not the only customer in the place. Demanding that your posterior be kissed means that someone else isn’t getting the level of service they’re paying for, expect and should get.

Like Carolyn said, if you want extra service, pay more. Don’t run your waitress ragged and stiff her on the tip because, “That’s her job.”

By loves to eat out

April 21, 2006 10:42 AM | Link to this

I eat out regularly with a friend. At each restaurant we have a favorite server. All of them recognize us. I hope its because we tip well and come often. I’m afraid, though, it may be my friend who speaks to the wait staff like they’re long lost friends and expects them to remember her drink and food order from previous times. How about it servers? Do you really remember or are some of you just better at covering up the fact that some of us expect the impossible? Also, I make it a policy to tip extra if we’ve stayed and chatted after the meal. Most servers appear to be assigned to a certain area and I know if we tie up a table it affects their bottom line.

By LHK

April 21, 2006 10:44 AM | Link to this

This is something I deal with a lot. I’ve been a vegetarian for about 9 years now, so I’m no stranger to making special requests at restaurants. Sometimes I do feel a little uneasy about it, but I have to remember that I’m a paying customer, and that by going to a restaurant, I’m committing to paying a marked-up price for food, just like everybody else who’s eating there. Usually it’s not hard to get what I want, but I have to watch out for restaurants that are particularly busy or running a special — sometimes they have a “no substitutions” policy, meaning that I can’t order the chicken and vegetable pizza without the chicken, or veggie fajitas instead of beef fajitas.

When I go out, I have to decide how picky I’m going to be — in terms of both my own dietary ethics and what I voice to the server. Do I ask if the veggie burgers are cooked on the same grill as the meat burgers? Do I ask if the fries are made in the same oil that’s used to fry the fish? Do I ask if there’s rennet (a meat-based enzyme) in the cheese? If I get a Subway sandwich for lunch, do I ask the sandwich maker to change his or her gloves? It’s like a game of scruples every time I go out (which is why I don’t go out that much) — you want to follow the dietary lifestyle you’ve chosen for yourself, but you’re also aware that some people may be quick to stereotype you as a picky, pushy vegetarian.

By Jess

April 21, 2006 10:47 AM | Link to this

I think that I am a pretty easy customer to deal with. I expect to be greeted swiftly and seated asap. I also expect bread and drinks to be delivered in a reasonable amount of time. My husband will hemm and haw about what he wants to drink and he acts all surprised when the waiter asks! He’ll say “Oh MY GOD! Hmmmm what do I want I never wven thought about that! Do you have a drink list?” Then he orders the same thing every time! My friend is also a pain asking weird questions like what size is so and so or what type of sauce blah blah blah or making a stupid comment about a trendy name for something. If you are not sure then its probably not the item for you. The menu usually has a good description of what is in the dish…just read it! I’ll sometimes ask for the specials to be repeated if one of them sounds good, but thats about it. Once I went to a certain pizza place with some coworkers who I thought were acting a little difficult and as a result we were there for almost 3 hours (this was lunch time people) I was so mad the waiter was just not around! My husband and i are going to Lobster Bar tonight and I will expect excellent servise and I have experienced such at the Buckhead Group restaurants. I also think you pay for what you get.

By LHK

April 21, 2006 10:48 AM | Link to this

MrLiberty — I’ve had similar experiences with Chili’s, too. They haven’t gotten my business in a long, long time.

I’ve had good experiences with calling ahead at fine restaurants, too. One restaurant (in rural Alabama, of all places!) asked me what my favorite vegetables were, and they concocted a pasta dish based around those. Wonderful! My family tipped everyone well at that place.

By Rod

April 21, 2006 10:57 AM | Link to this

I’ve read alot of good comments on here. When I want to “customize” a meal, I only ask for a reasonable/basic change, not a total reworking of the item as some do. If I have had an item changed and it comes out correctly, I do remember that come tip time.

MrLiberty, I don’t understand one of your comments. You mentioned how Chops went out of their way to accomodate your vegitarian needs - sounds like they did an incredible job. However, you then went on to say “No, I won’t be back unless someone else is picking up the tab - why would I want to support a restaurant like that?” A restaurant like what - one that goes out of their way to take care of you? I can just see the Chops manager reading this and deciding to ignore all vegetarians now thanks to this attitude. You’re willing to “support” the restaurant if someone else is paying - this is really talking out of both sides of your mouth and ruined an otherwise enjoyable response from you.

By Jess

April 21, 2006 10:58 AM | Link to this

Come on! Do you veggie people really expect Chilis to accomodate your vegetarian needs! Haven’t you seen the commercials with fat and cheese dripping off of everything from meat to broccioli! I’m not a vegetarian and I don’t even go there!

By Dan

April 21, 2006 10:58 AM | Link to this

I don’t think it is the special requests that irk servers, it is how you ask (although a litany like meg ryans is a bit extreme) and if a server knows the menu well he/she could answer yes or no to 90% of the questions a diner may ask. As for one posters comment that servers don’t pre judge tips don’t believe it for a second. Like any other job if you are good at it you know what to expect and a good waiter will know what tip range they are in 75% of the time after seeing them walk in and 95% of the time after taking a drink order. Surprises are few and far between

By Jess

April 21, 2006 11:03 AM | Link to this

Good point Dan, It defintly helps to be respectful and not treat the server like a personal servant or your own personal chef!

By MP

April 21, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this

I waitressed while I was in college to earn money towards my degree and one thing holds very true: If you take care of your server, they will take care of you.

I never minded a special request and I would do my best to accomodate what the guest wanted. But there are limits to what a server can do and most of us will try our best because we are depending on your tips to pay our bills. Most waitstaff in GA make a paltry $2.13 per hour.

I think the key is mutual respect. If you communicate your desires to your server in a respectful manner, you are much more likely to be accomodated. Also, be cognizant of what the restaurant can and cannot do. A previous poster said it perfectly…call ahead and make sure there is something appropriate for you to eat rather that simply coming in and expecting to re-write the menu. Some foods are “pre-fab” and cannot be modified to perfection.

Now that I have earned my degree I no longer wait tables but I have the utmost respect for the truly good servers who are working hard to take care of us all. I typically leave 30-50% for good service. If I receive poor service, I leave a flat 15% but I also speak to a manager to offer constructive criticism so that hopefully whatever went wrong can be corrected for future guests.

By LHK

April 21, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this

Jess — It’s not that I’d choose Chili’s over, say, Sweet Tomatoes or Soul Vegetarian. But I can’t always choose the restaurant I go to. I might be on a business trip with 6 co-workers in a tiny town in New Jersey. I might be stuck south of Macon, Georgia with a grumbling stomach at 8:30 PM. I might be invited to a friend’s birthday dinner at a burger place. It’s not like I expect all restaurants to bend over backwards for vegetarians, but it’s nice when I can get something more filling than a bowl of lettuce and tomatoes.

(But, yeah, you’re right about those Chili’s commercials. The pictures of all their fatty food definitely aren’t mouth-watering.)

By Valerie

April 21, 2006 11:05 AM | Link to this

I was a server for 3 years. I have met some really great customers and I’ve met some really lousy customers. People that say that they can run us ragged and then don’t have to tip need to be informed that, yes, it is our job but we don’t have to work there. We do it cause we like it, usually, but the getting paid part is where they are wrong. Servers get paid $2.13 an hour. We aren’t working for that paycheck, its the tips that pay us. Our paycheck is enough to cover taxes.

By Jess

April 21, 2006 11:07 AM | Link to this

Just out of curiousity I looked up the Chillis menu online and I found about 3 things a veggie person could order (steamed veggies, salad, pasta with tomato basil sauce), which in my opinion totally stinks because I would not be happy if i went to a restaurant and I could only order from a few things! I guess the lesson here is that if you have dietary restrictions (like someone else wrote) you need to plan ahead or even call to see if they can accomodate you or not go there.

By Debbie

April 21, 2006 11:08 AM | Link to this

I also wonder about MrLiberty’s comments. Chops went to a lot of trouble - and cost - in making your meal enjoyable and you don’t plan to support “a restaurant like that.”

I assume you mean a steak place. Most restaurants - probably 95% of them - make most of their money on meat items. Are you going to “not support” them as well?

A nice restaurant treated you like a wonderful guest. Vegetarians already bring bad images to a lot of restaurant managers - this is because of people like you. They were good, the food was good - so support it (I’m sure their vegetarian price wasn’t that high for the quality of the meal).

By John

April 21, 2006 11:11 AM | Link to this

Having been to lunch with different co-workers. One group I was with wanted EXTRA everything, butter, dressing, napkins, you name it… I was so embarrassed. Another occasion another co-worker was p** because she had 1cent in change coming back but didn’t get it and was p** off. No more lunch with strange co-workers

By Jess

April 21, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

Hmm, I see your point LHK. I must say that when I plan dinners for work things I always plan to have one vegetarian entree because even if there are not veggie people attending sometimes people don’t feel like eating meat. Sorry I am getting off topic. To get back on the topic let me say that I am usually embarrased when I go out to eat with people who are pains in the butts or people who are bad tippers. When I go out with this one friend, she tips maybe 10% I try to overcompensate and over tip on my check.

By stephanie

April 21, 2006 11:15 AM | Link to this

good point jess about the chili’s commercials. as a vegetarian, there are certain restaurants that i definitely avoid b/c i know that accomodating my diet would be more challenging. grease and more grease are not special requests of mine.:) since i know that my requests are ultraspecific, i am extra polite to servers so it doesn’t feel like i’m being obsessive about my order. i usually ask up front what their suggestions are for an entree that could be most easily modified for a vegetarian. to be on the safe side i frequent restaurants that serve ethnic foods such as thai and indian when i don’t eat at a veggie or vean restauratnt. restaurants that specialize in ethnic foods have been most accomodating to vegetarians in my experience. i try to shy away from mainstream joints.

By Shell

April 21, 2006 11:29 AM | Link to this

To MP: Most people who’ve worked at the job, as we have, come out with the attitude you’ve shown, “I’ve been there and I’m not going to treat the waiter like some people treated me.”

Unfortunately, and to my utter consternation, some of them come out just the opposite. My sister’s sister-in-law worked as a waitress while in college. Now when she goes out she treats the waitstaff like dogs. “Rude and demanding” doesn’t begin to express how she acts, plus she leaves a chintzy tip, if any at all. When Sis asked her why she acted so she said, “It’s payback for how rudely I was treated. I had to put up with it, why shouldn’t they?” Sis said, “You didn’t like it, and it affected your work and life attitude, so why do it to these people? They weren’t the ones who were rude to you back then.”

It got to the point that Sis refused to go out to eat with the woman ever again and told her, “The way you treat these people I wouldn’t be surprised if they spit in your food before thay bring it to you, and I don’t want ‘em doing the same to mine just because I’m sharing a table with you.”

By ted

April 21, 2006 11:31 AM | Link to this

Having worked in restaurants for years as a waiter, bartender and GM, you can complain all you want about abusive customers but there is a certain percentage of people who are never going to change. Deal with it or leave the customer service industry all together. For those of us who have dealt with the impossible customers out there, you should try to educate your friends and family members as much as possible when the situation allows. For you customers reading this who have never been in the industry, I would suggest to you there are some very vindictive people who are either just fed up with customer abuse or just plain off their rockers and if you are abusing someone in the business, and you know who you are, keep in mind, they have your food and drink out of sight of the public eye. This goes for full service as well as fast food. You have to be a complete moron to think that it does not occasionally happen. Be polite to those serving you, it is a tough job. Also, if everyone wore out servers and kitchen staff with special request, you can expect service to slow down considerably. Be respectful of others. Last, to the lady who considers meat and dairy products to be “dishes of death”, it is a fact, vegetarians life span is shorter. To each his own.

By TheRoss

April 21, 2006 11:38 AM | Link to this

I am pretty easy to satisfy, and rarely order complicated things. However, I think tipping 15% for average or bad service is ridiculous.

Why should I tip for bad service? In fact, why should I tip anything for average service? They didn’t do anything exceptional to earn a tip, they just did the minimum required.

I have no problem leaving a .05 tip for bad service. Why .05 you ask? Because if I leave zero, they might think it was an accident. If I leave a nickel, they will know I intentionally left them a bad tip, because their service was bad.

Automatically tipping is for the birds.

By MP

April 21, 2006 11:43 AM | Link to this

Ted you are very right. Things do happen when customers are bad. Although I’ve never done anything bad to a guest’s food, I can’t say that it hasn’t been done to others. The movie “Waiting” is not that far from the truth.

When I worked at one chain family-casual establishment, we had a family who came in weekly and were beyond terrible. It usually came down to a manager threatening someone to get them to actually take the table. They would run you ragged with special requests, extra this-n-that, let their kids smash food in the floor and they never tipped. And they wonder why they didn’t get the best service???

However, we remember the good tables too and we would trip over ourselves to get those few wonderful ones! It was a pleasure to wait on them and they never had to wait for anything because we were rushing to get to them before anyone else could :)

What goes around comes around.

By Shell

April 21, 2006 11:46 AM | Link to this

Well said, ted.(!) It was MrLiberty, though, who called his fellow diners’ orders “dishes of death”.

I bet he’s a joy to be around at mealtime. I had a co-worker years ago with the same attitude. Every lunch was an opportunity for him to expound on the virtues of his diet and the evils of everyone else’s. Polite requests to leave off didn’t work, rude requests for same didn’t work, complaints to management and subsequent admonishments from them to him to cease didn’t work. Physical threats did the trick, though. He complained to managemant that we had threatened to beat him up and the boss said, “Keep your mouth shut about what everybody else has to eat and you won’t get hurt.” :)

By Rick Springfield

April 21, 2006 12:08 PM | Link to this

2 words: Black People

By Shell

April 21, 2006 12:12 PM | Link to this

MP, instead of threatening the staff to get someone to wait on those people, the manager should’ve barred them from the restaurant. Sucking up to morons in the name of “good customer service” results in bad customer service to everyone else. The people who come in, act properly, and show respect for the business and its staff feel like chumps when they see someone getting away with being an idiot (I’d call ‘em something else but it wouldn’t make it past the board censor). Plus, who wants to go out for a nice dinner and have to put up with such behavior at the next table, or in the same building, for that matter?

I worked for Domino’s Pizza about twelve years ago and the corporate staff knew who I was because when I ran a store I had no qualms about taking people off the delivery list. If they were rude on the phone, rude to my drivers, gave no tip, made constant complaints about service and quality, were always trying to get something for free; any or all of these at one time or another, and they’d no longer be customers. Corporate would tell me “Well, you have to put up with that, they’re paying customers.” and my reply was, “No they’re not. As often as not they want something for free, and even if they don’t what they cost me in time, effort, employee attitude, and lost service to my other customers because of trying to please them isn’t worth the piddling amount of money they spend.”

My business philosophy in the service industry is, “The customer is not always right. Sometimes the customer is as wrong as two left shoes. BUT you must treat them as valued customers unless or until they show that they do not deserve that treatment, at which time you show them the door. To do otherwise is to show a complete disrespect for your other customers, those who do deserve good treatment.

By Anais

April 21, 2006 12:16 PM | Link to this

I just wanted to add something here. I just got fired from a serving position I had in a very well known restaurant in the Atlanta area. Apparently I had a guest complaint. I have a college degree and have had “real jobs” prior to this in fact jobs that most people would never like to do such as law enforcement. I have to say that since I have lived in Atlanta I found that waiting tables is more difficult than being in law enforcement. I have NEVER beeen treated so bad in profession nor have I had to deal with as many creeps. I don’t think people realize that servers make $2.13/hr. w/out any benefits. That is basically slave labor. As a server, the guest is always right…now that go’s back to me losing my job. Someone came in and treated me terrible (on Easter Sunday!) so I refused to serve them so I lost my job. I would LOVE to go to that guy’s workplace and throw a tantrum like he did at mine and then complain about it until he lost his job. This is not a rare occurance, poeple come in and do this all the time. Do they have anything better to do with their time? Has anyone taught these people manners? I have become one to sterotype based on race and sex when it comes to waiting tables and it upsets me. Unfortunatley most of the sterotypes are true.

Just a couple of quick rants:

*If you cannot afford to eat out, than go to Wendy’s. Check the menu prices before sitting down, it saves everyone time and money.

*If you want to make your own lemonade (because you are too cheap to purchase the lemonade the restaurant has on the menu) with lemons, sugar and water than stay home.

*Soups and salads are not good dietary foods. Most have more fat than say a piece of grilled fish. If you want soup and salad perhaps you should have gone to Ruby Tuesday or Sweet Tomato.

*Restaurants are not coffee shops. The servers only get a few tables in their section to make money so please do not hold confrences and meetings at a restaurant during peek hours, it’s rude.

*Just because it’s diet coke does not mean you can have 10 glasses of it. It is still bad for you. Servers love the “I’ll have the fried chicken and a diet coke”. We know that it means that you will be needing a diet coke every three minutes to go with your healthy fried food. Oh, I know, sure, you like the taste of diet coke.

*If you didn’t like the entree when you first got it than why did you eat all of it and THEN complain? Just because you did not like it does not give you the right to cheat my tip.

*20% is the going tip rate. 18% is good and 15% is for lousey service. Keep that in mind. 10% does not exist anymore, we have to pay for gas to get to work too you know.

Well, sorry about the rant, I just wanted people to have some insight on a few things that us servers talk about. And no, we are not your personal servant/chef for and hour. This is a job, so please be kind and thoughtful…you never know when you will have to deal with a creep at your workplace. Karma. Keep it in mind.

By Ronald

April 21, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this

I find it interesting that MrLiberty has apparently left after making his comments about not supporting a restaurant that went out of its way to help him and insulting other’s dishes of death. I guess he realized this blog is better without him.

Rick Springfield, we don’t need that crap in here - this is for valid comments and suggestions.

By Rod

April 21, 2006 12:25 PM | Link to this

Anais, get off your racist high horse. You say you have a college degree and have had real jobs - insulting every waiter in existence. First, your college shouldn’t have given you a diploma as your spelling and grammar are horrid!! Secondly, you were dead wrong in not serving them - you should have mentioned a problem to your manager and if they continued, request another server take the table. To ignore them (I’m sure because they were BLACK) is just wrong and you deserved to be fired. Third, slave labor??? What the hell is that comment for? Maybe with your attitude all you got was $2.13/hr because no one would want to tip you, but I haven’t seen a waiter yet who didn’t make at least $10/hr - at any restaurant!! Your college obviously didn’t teach you about slavery either - beatings and death if you didn’t work.

If you’re so worried about Karma, then you’re in deep sh##

By Rick Springfield

April 21, 2006 12:27 PM | Link to this

Hey, just stating the stereotypes - and stereotypes exist for a reason! Ask any waiter, white OR black, who they would rather wait on. I can guarantee with 99.9% accuracy they will choose the white table. It’s not a nice world out there, I’m just stating what everyone else won’t.

By Reggie

April 21, 2006 12:29 PM | Link to this

Hey Anais, you’re a jerk and deserve to be jobless. You got fired from your other jobs - including law enforcement - and had to “degrade” yourself as a waiter, then got fired too.

Ever think YOU might be the problem?

By steve

April 21, 2006 12:34 PM | Link to this

Thank you Rick Springfield for saying what every waiter in the world is thinking.

By Shell

April 21, 2006 12:36 PM | Link to this

Nice try, Rod. Anais said he(?) refused to serve the customer because he was treated badly. Evidently he got the same sort of treatment from more than one person of the same race and/or sex and extrapolated from it. Besides, how do you know Anais isn’t black and perpetuating stereotypes in the other direction?

FWIW, I wondered about the spelling and sentence structure, too. A college graduate with writing skills no better than that? And way out of line to call it “slave labor”, too, regardless of his race. A college graduate with no concept of history, imagine that. ::(

By Al

April 21, 2006 12:37 PM | Link to this

Just because someone makes an observation that is based on race or appearance does not make them an evil racist. It’s human nature to make observations regarding unpleasant experiences. If I notice my crappy tips are from balding white guys 70% of the time, I will assume I have a higher chance of getting a small tip from Dr.Phil than from Don King, regardless of the level of service. That doesn’t mean I’m racist, it means I am rational.

By

April 21, 2006 12:41 PM | Link to this

RE: Anais

I can see why you were fired from your job.

By Rod

April 21, 2006 12:48 PM | Link to this

Al, no - that just means you’re not doing your job if you discriminate against Dr. Phil. If 100 consecutive white bald guys come in and leave a bad tip, that has no bearing on man #101. Each person is their own entity. If you see the same person, then that’s different.

Maybe those white bald men don’t leave you good tips because they’ve noticed that you don’t give them good service (subconciously you’ve started discriminating).

Your job is to provide good service - period. Some people will give you a little more bonus than others, but it’s still your job. If you don’t like it then you really should look into another line of work. My best tip ever was from a table of five teenage guys - when I saw them, I didn’t sulk or ignore them: I did my job.

By Soph

April 21, 2006 12:49 PM | Link to this

Goodness. I came to this forum to avoid the black vs. white stereotypical discussions (see my post above), and the race card still managed to rear its ugly head. I’m so very tired of being accused of doing things I’ve never done (I’m a black female). I’ve never once neglected to leave a tip and I’ve even participated in several Tip Parties where my friends and I will go out to eat and end the evening with a friendly competition with each other to give the highest percentage. For no other reason than to bless the server for a job well done.

If servers are judging me because of my skin, then thank God for all the servers who have gladly taken my service because they’ve been well taken care of. I can’t speak for the other 40 million people who share my skin color, but I would imagine that not even the majority of them are poor tippers.

Ugh - I’m done with this forum for today.

By Dusty

April 21, 2006 12:58 PM | Link to this

To Anais:

Some folks that order diet coke happen to be diabetic. Granted, the fried food isn’t good either, but to then compound it with a high sugar drink just makes things so much worse. I’m tired of folks complaining of someone going to a restaurant and ordering a diet coke with something other than a salad.

By Brian

April 21, 2006 12:59 PM | Link to this

I think people have given Anais too hard of a time. As for the comment made by Rod, why do you call Anais a racist? Nothing written by Anais led me to believe that.

Food service is thankless work with poor pay.

By Rod

April 21, 2006 01:07 PM | Link to this

Brian: Anais openly discriminates based upon race (the definition of racism) and thinks he’s a slave (minimizing what true slavery is. By the way, I’m white. I get tired of the Cynthia McKinneys out there crying racism every time someone turns around, but sometimes it does exist. By the way, you don’t think he deserves a hard time? He openly insulted EVERY waiter when he referred to it not being a real job, made a mockery of slavery and disrespected his customers. Do you think he should be applauded?

Also, on the Diet Coke topic, some people are trying to lose weight or take better care of themselves but they have to indulge once in a while. If they do - and order fried chicken - then why criticize them for at least having the Diet Coke instead of adding on more calories with a regular Coke? At least they’re trying.

By Anais

April 21, 2006 01:14 PM | Link to this

And by the way, all servers in GA get paid $2.13/hr. It’s a state law. Some states pay minium wage but most are similar to GA in that $2.13/hr is the going rate. And I was never fired from law enforcement, I just did not want to be a part of the “good ol’ boy network” that runs rampant in the south. Oh, and here we go, there has always got to be a defensive black man out there….by the way, I am black too, doesn’t mean I like the way most blacks tip. For the rest, this is a blog, not a college exam, please get over the fact that I don’t care if you like my grammar or opinion. I’m pretty sure that the point of a BLOG is based mostly on ones opionion.

By Al

April 21, 2006 01:15 PM | Link to this

I never said the level of service would change, just the expectations for the tip. The recognition that man#101 is an individual whom I have no control over makes consistently good service possible.

The only reason for a bad tip a server can control is the level of service, so that’s where the focus should be.

Changing behaviour based on the expectation is where servers can go wrong. The statistically significant observation is not the problem.

By Sheri

April 21, 2006 01:19 PM | Link to this

As someone who has worked in the service industry, I can agree with many of your opinions. Yes, as a server, it is our responsible to try to make your visit to our establishment as enjoyable as possible. And most of us who work in the business do so because we enjoy so. However, there are those special few who seem to take pleasure in handing out hard times. No, I probably won’t remember you from the last time you were here (your first visit/over 3 months ago), but if you are a regular, I will get to know you. Yes, I will try to accomodate any special requests you have, but I cannot modify the entire restaurant format for you ~~ I spent some time working in an Italian restaurant, and remember the guest who came in and told us they were severely allergic to garlic and tomatoes, so asked “what can we have”. There were dishes that could fit that dietary restriction, but with the prevalance of those ingredients don’t you know I worried about that guest the whole time!

I wrote a paper for college about the whole tipping/service issue. Many guests really do not seem to be aware that our entire life is supported by tips ~ it is to our benefit to make our customers happy, no reason at all to be difficult. But I truly believe that the guest has some responsibility for basic manners and consideration ~ I am taking care of 20 other people at the same time who all want my attention. By monopolizing my time while you “think it over”, another guest is feeling slighted.

By Shell

April 21, 2006 01:21 PM | Link to this

You’re welcome to your opinions, Anais. That is what we’re here for, to exchange views. I disagree with how you said some of yours but not with the substance of them.

BTW, I noticed your grammar and spelling improved after some of us pointed out your errors. So you don’t care, but you took the time to improve? Gotcha. ;)

By Rod

April 21, 2006 01:23 PM | Link to this

Anais, you just don’t get it. I know the minimum wage is $2.13 per hour. However, your comment was that servers only get $2.13 an hour and it was slave labor. What I said (put on your glasses so you don’t miss it) was that waiters make at least $10 per hour (that includes tips in case you can’t figure it out). With your nasty attitude, I can see why you don’t make any tips.

If you matured and treated people with respect, then you could make more money too.

Oh, so you weren’t fired as a cop too? You quit that “real job” so you could demean yourself as a lowly waiter? Yeah, right.

You don’t want us commenting upon your spelling and grammar? Well, you’re the one that was boasting about your high faluting college education - I just pointed out that you’re not as smart as you think (in many areas, obviously). And, your last comment is that you can give your opinion but others can’t? Oh yeah, you’re a real class act.

By Anais

April 21, 2006 01:23 PM | Link to this

Rod. I hope your manager sees how much time you spend “blogging” during the normal work week on their time.

Waiting tables is a real job, my point is that most people do not look at it that way. It can be a career in fact I made more money waiting tables than I would have in LE. Sad, but true.

Drinking 10 diet cokes during a meal is not “trying”.

The guest who got me fired by the way called me an idiot because I asked him if he was familiar with our Sunday brunch or if he wanted me to go over the detailes since afterall it was Easter Sunday and things were a llittle busier than normal. I will not stand for that in ANY workplace let alone a restaurant.

By monica gellar

April 21, 2006 01:25 PM | Link to this

As a 15 year veteran of the restaurant biz, I found a lot of the comments so far to be true. People are just plain rude. Although I think Anais sounds like a jerk, I too have wished I could go into a customers workplace, i.e. a bank, cube, operating room, whatever, and screw up their job like so many people try to do to waiters’. And FYI, if you are at a waiter’s table and you hear them mention something about “pitching a tent” - they are talking about YOU and the fact that you have been sitting at their table WAY TOO LONG. It’s called CAMPING and we hate you for it. Our tables are how we make money. The more we can “turn ‘em and burn ‘em” the more money we make.

By Brian

April 21, 2006 01:31 PM | Link to this

Rod: I think Anais got too hard of a time. But, I agree on the Diet Coke thing as being not cool…I dislike the idea of wait staff looking down on me because of what I choose to eat or drink. But, like Anais said, “Well, sorry about the rant, I just wanted people to have some insight on a few things that us servers talk about.”

I doubt any waiters/waitresses out there feel insulted by Anais’ post, but who knows?

By Jess

April 21, 2006 01:33 PM | Link to this

I think that its funny that the race card was brought up, but after all it is Atlanta. Anyway, a friend who is black says that most blacks are bad tippers but on the other hand it is not her responsibility to be the representative of the black race, but sometimes she feels she must be and may tip even more or be prim and proper so as to not be a part of the steriotype. I thought it was interesting to get her perspective.

By Anais

April 21, 2006 01:34 PM | Link to this

A server does not make AT LEAST $10/hr. Sometimes it is slow and you only get 4 tables in a 5 hour shift and your tips are based on sales or menu prices so you can end up making $5 to $7 an hour. Obvioulsy it varies but it is not always good. I made $54,000 last year waiting tables. My service is great. I do not tolerate name calling at my workplace. I have standards.

Being a cop in the south is not my idea of a good time. I moved here from another region and it was supposed to be temporary. I chose to stay and therefore I chose to wait tables while I figure out where I really want to live. It is an easier job as far as no strings attatched. So yes, I left a job in LE to move to the south to take care of a family member.

By Rod

April 21, 2006 01:34 PM | Link to this

Alright, alright, alright…

Let’s get back on topic (that includes no more racism comments). Does anyone have suggestions about how to request “special orders?” Maybe someone knows a particular restaurant (like MrLiberty’s original comments on Chops) that will go out of their way to satisfy your needs? Anyone know of a restaurant that has a “take it or leave it attitude?”

Hopefully - by getting back on topic - we can all learn something to make our dining experience more enjoyable.

By Kitty

April 21, 2006 01:40 PM | Link to this

My Mother-in-law is a customer from he!!

It is embarassing to be at the same table with her. I’m positive her food is spit on, or worse, before it is brought out to her. She orders with a low whisper - as if she is sharing national security secrets; she has to have a particular {cheap} white wine, with a glass of ice; she always asks if the fried trout is ‘fried tender’ - I have no idea what that means; she has to give a life story about every menu item before she orders; she has to have everything ‘special’ and then she still doesn’t eat it, and we have to hear her analysis of every ingredient.

At least she does tip very well, but she really puts the waitstaff through the ringer by expecting to be treated and served like she is the Queen Mum.

By Brian

April 21, 2006 01:42 PM | Link to this

BTW - As a customer, I hate the “turn ‘em and burn ‘em attitude.” When I go out to eat, it is special. I am there for the food, ambiance, relaxed atmosphere and service. It is a time to be with friends and loved ones and enjoy a meal and conversation without clearing dishes and cleaning and so on. You never know, I may be celebrating a life event. To me, eating out is a celebration.

Make me feel rushed or bring me my bill before I have given any indication that I have finished, the waiter is forfeiting a sizable portion of their tip.

By Robert

April 21, 2006 01:44 PM | Link to this

Kitty, you should make sure the waiter knows which food is hers before bringing it out!!!

By John

April 21, 2006 01:45 PM | Link to this

I am a generous tipper who gives my order simply and directly to the server. I expect only three things: (1) to have the food prepared correctly (2) to have the server check back REGULARLY—and that means more than two or three times—to refill my beverage (unsweetened tea or Diet Coke) and (3) to have the check delivered and picked up promptly without being asked if I want change back. My tips usually are in the 25 to 30 percent range but if the server doesn’t take care of me or asks if I want change, I am not a pleasant customer and I become very stingy with my tip.

By joyce

April 21, 2006 01:48 PM | Link to this

I wait tables at a seafood restaurant in a small town on weekends in addition to my weekly job. I have favorite customers of all races and serve them all to the best of my ability. My tips are always sufficient and my friendships with regulars complete a pleasent picture. You see the best and the worst in human nature, but that’s part of the challenge.

By Kitty

April 21, 2006 01:53 PM | Link to this

Robert, my family does make sure we don’t require anything extra when dining with the MIL.

She wants to be the center of attention, so we let her! And I’m sure the kitchen makes sure her dish is extra special, just like her.

By Carolyn

April 21, 2006 01:53 PM | Link to this

Hey! It’s me Carolyn O’Neil. I knew one thing this morning when we posted the blog topic—-that the issue of restaurant special requests is an emotional one. I like the fact that such a diverse range of restaurants were mentioned—from Chile’s to Chops. And seems like the concensus is this: be specific in your requests and be nice to your server and chances are you will get what you want. But, there’s always the chance you’ll have to send something back ( which messes up the whole flow of the meal ) and I love the story about taking the chicken out of the salad and leaving a few pieces there. Scary!! What if it had been peanuts and someone was allergic. hmmmmm shall we blog on food allergies next week??

By TheRoss

April 21, 2006 01:58 PM | Link to this

I don’t care how much a waiter/waitress makes in salary. If I don’t get good service, then I won’t leave more than a .05 tip. I just doesn’t make sense.

Cry me a river. You know your jobs are dependant on you giving good service. Give average or poor service, and you don’t make money. Why should we bother to tip you for doing just good enough not to p** us off, or not giving good service? We shouldn’t.

The turn ‘em and burn ‘em attitude will make me stay at a table longer, if I am feeling rushed. Usually, if I stay for a long time at a table, I will compensate in their tip, if I got good service. But if they rush me, well, that’s just not smart on their part.

Yes, people often treat servers like crap, and it’s ridiculous. However, expecting a tip for average or bad service is likewise ridiculous.

By Linda

April 21, 2006 02:01 PM | Link to this

When I was younger, I worked as a waitress in a restaurant attached to a hotel. The restaurant had all-you-can-eat nights on Fridays which I loved to work - extra big tips. I had a family so big we had to put two tables together. I know I gave them great service because some of the other waitresses said they wished they were getting the tip they knew I would get. At the end of the night, they left one penny at each place setting (not a black family either!).

Also, it’s disheartening to know that wait staff makes only $2.13/hour. I made $2.01/hr and that was in the 1980s.

By Carolyn

April 21, 2006 02:04 PM | Link to this

Rod-good question. The best way to make a special request is to carefully read menu descriptions first then ask specific questions. Last night I was dining in Jacksonville area and I saw that every single fish dish came gussied up with some kind of sauce. I didnt want Vanilla Grouper with a creamy vanilla flavored sauce. I wanted grilled grouper with fresh lime! So that’s what I asked for. Easy enough..but, the vegetable side was a “medley” of baby carrots and snow peas. I just wanted to snow peas ( I like them better) but the waitress said that was not possible. Ok. whatever. It’s also important to learn restaurant terms for things..and in an upcoming column I’m going to write about Menu Speak..to help us all translate the terms.

By Roger

April 21, 2006 02:05 PM | Link to this

I agree with a lot of the comments. Here’s a few things I do: If am at a place like Bahama Breeze and am going to be there a while or waiting for folks to join me - I give the waiter/waitress a twenty upfront. This way he/she knows I’ll take care of them. Plus I have a one year-old - I know he drops food and makes a mess - so again I give the waiter money upfront. In fact, for those who don’t do this (a little grease upfront) you’ll be surprised how good your service normally is. Of course, I give another 20% at the end of the meal and if I hang out after eating I add money as well.

To customers: The bottom line is if you can’t afford to eat somewhere - don’t go.

To waiters: I go out for the overall entertainment experience, not to shovel food down, so a table can be turned over, so don’t rush me and you’ll get money as if another table had been sat.

Also, pre-judging is the worst thing to do. There are times I’ve left 100% tips for outstanding service (if it’s been enjoyable) and I might be wearing a tank top and flip-flops. A lot of times it’s the real corporate types, expensing meals on accounts who aren’t allowed to leave over 15% (company policies).

By suz

April 21, 2006 02:13 PM | Link to this

Anais What do you care if I order a diet coke (and yes I do like the taste)? Oh, and servers who refill my diet code without me asking get 25% as a tip. It is no big mystery why you are unemployed.

By Rod

April 21, 2006 02:20 PM | Link to this

Throwing money at them (like Roger says) is not an option for most people. $20 up front plus 20% later is drastic - or the 100% option. He made the comment “if you can’t afford to eat somewhere - don’t go.” My wife and I make a good living and like to go out. However, we have two categories: 1) out to a nice place with atmosphere, etc and costs $$ and 2) out to a homey place where we get in and out for less than $25 (tax & tip included) - yes, there are lots of those out there.

We usually go out (to the homey place) just because we want to get out of the house and not have to cook again (we share duties). I don’t see the need to throw money at the waiter up front when I just want respectable service. Just think if you did that and your waiter ended up giving lousy service (how mad would you be about your lost money then).

One of our traditions is every Christmas night we eat at Waffle House and leave a $20. Now those people work for a living!

By Mom of 2

April 21, 2006 02:25 PM | Link to this

I take my children out 1-2 times a week to FAMILY style restaurants, because I want them to grow up learning not only how to behave in this type of atmosphere, but also how to deal with the people who “serve” you. I say “serve” because I emphasize to my children “help” instead. I make sure that they know to say “please” and “thank you” EVERY TIME someone from the waitstaff comes by, asks if we need anything or brings us something. I try hard to go during off-peak hours, since we tend to take a little extra time eating. In the end, my children usually have made drawings for at least our hostess or wait person, and I based my tip upon how paitent and helpful they have been (I have rarely been disappointed—the folks who work in this industry here are top-notch in my opinion!) and if they are not I try to be constructive in my brief chat with the manager, because just because one server wasn’t great, the rest usually are. We tend to go to the same places a lot and have gotten to know many of these fine people. To them, and to all those who make a single parent’s day a little less frazzled over a meal, I tip my hat Z(and my wallet) to you!

By TheRoss

April 21, 2006 02:26 PM | Link to this

Yeah, I shouldn’t have to bribe a server with money upfront, and 20% later just to get a refill on my drink and respectable service. Their job is to provide us quality service. If they want a tip, or a good tip, then they need to work hard at it, instead of providing the minimum service acceptable.

By Fluffy

April 21, 2006 02:32 PM | Link to this

We rarely eat out anymore for dietary reasons, so when we do go…it’s a very special occasion for us. First, I’m not a pain when ordering. I go to restaurants that have lighter fare menus like Ruby Tuesdays or our fave restaurant in the entire world…Sophia’s Valentino off 316. THE best veal marsala on earth!

A few points:

Having made those points, I have been a waitress, bartender and manager. I treated my customers like they deserved to be treated…with respect, kindness, attention to detail and added hefty doses of fun when appropriate. If a customer was rude or called me an idiot, it was up to me to make dam*ed sure he felt differently before he left. I never once had a complaint from a customer.

As a customer I walk into the restaurant with 30% in mind. It’s up to the server where it goes from there. I’ve tipped 50% before but it was for amazingly outstanding service and courtesy far above and beyond.

For the vegans…I know it must be hard for you to eat out. My advice would be not to. Unfortunately the food in restaurants is loaded with animal byproducts and they get into everything in a busy kitchen. If you’re a vegan for religious reasons…definitely eat at home where you can control things.

Okay, I’m done. CHECK PLEASE!

By Renee

April 21, 2006 02:39 PM | Link to this

Fluffy, you go girl!

By TheRoss

April 21, 2006 02:44 PM | Link to this

I have to agree with Fluffy. YAY!

By MP

April 21, 2006 02:51 PM | Link to this

Fluffy

Please tell me you are not the one that asks for a whole soup bowl of lemons and then leaves torn sugar packets all over the floor under the booth.

By Lance

April 21, 2006 02:51 PM | Link to this

You know what I like to do? Leave the tip (a bunch of coins in a glass filled to the top with water). Then flip it over (using a card) so it’s standing upside down - since it’s totally full of water, there’s no water line and the waiter doesn’t know any is in there! Then he picks it up and WATER ALL OVER THE PLACE!!

Also, I’ve got some “fake” $20 bills that I like to leave on the table. Their initial reaction is priceless - they think they hit it rich and then BAMM! - they realize it’s fake.

Also, another one is to loosen the lids on the salt/pepper shakers so the next people spill it all and get mad at the waiter and demand more food.

Of course, I always manage to find something wrong with part of the meal so I at least get part of it free. Hope these tips help out!

By Shell

April 21, 2006 03:04 PM | Link to this

Just as an aside, chat of getting refills without asking for them reminded me of this.

My dad is diabetic and asks for unsweetened tea, which he then sweetens to his taste with Splenda (or whatever the restaurant has available besides sugar). At one restaurant, I think it was Ryan’s Or Golden Corral, his “server” dashed over and refilled his glass when it was half-empty. He asked her not to refill it unless he asked and she said, “I have to refill it right away. Manager’s orders.” So, dad asked to speak to the manager. When dad asked the manager to instruct the “server” to serve him as he’d asked, the manager acted as though dad, some 40 years his senior, was a dotard who didn’t “get” the concept of customer service. Dad explained patiently that he knew how much sweetener to add to a full glass of tea to get it to the way he liked it. If the “server” kept rushing over to fill his glass every time the level went down a tad, he’d have to spend part of his time figuring out how much sweetener to add each time, rather than simply enjoying his meal and drink. The manager acquiesced to dad’s request but acted as though he was thoroughly put out in the doing.

By Fluffy

April 21, 2006 03:13 PM | Link to this

MP - please reread my first point. Especially the part that says (sidenote: I drink neither). I have tea or (plain) water with my meals. Don’t comment on it if you don’t read the whole thing darlin’. It’s a little like staring at the menu and asking the waitress if they serve food.

By homesick

April 21, 2006 03:13 PM | Link to this

It never ceases to amaze me that, in our increasingly “service-driven” economy, service industry folk act like they are doing us a favor by giving us what we’ve paid for. It also never ceases to distress me that people believe paying for said service (or product) entitles them to treat the service industry folk like garbage. It goes both ways. Having said that, and with the disclaimer that I have worked in the food service industry in several different positions (from waitress to owner), I think a positive and humble attitude on both sides will go far in making a person’s dining experience a pleasant one. Until I worked in the food service industry, I had the unfortunate “customer is always right” attitude. If the customer is being rude, thereby diminishing the experience of other customers, they are not right. If the customer is being abusive, thereby making the job of the wait staff needlessly difficult, they are not right. As a former manager and restaurant owner, I believe it is the responsibility of the manager/owner to keep an eye out for patrons requiring “extra patience.” Sometimes such behavior is merely an ego spiraling out of control, and the extra attention from a person in authority is all that’s needed to assuage a difficult personality. My wait staff knew to bring problems to my attention IMMEDIATELY so that I could intervene before a situation escalated to being truly unpleasant. I found that being proactive rather than reactive in this area was pretty effective in keeping everyone happy.

Restaurant patrons would do well to remember that the issue is broader in scope than merely treating a waiter well. That waiter is a fellow human being and a person of worth, and we should remember that when we are tempted to treat them in a less than caring manner. If you can’t deal with that, just remember the old saying that you draw more flies with honey than vinegar.

When I dine out, I know I will receive great service. Why do I know this? Because I smile at my waiter and acknowledge their greeting. I am pleasant and polite. I have reasonable expectations and understand that the line cook is not my private chef. I am polite in making any special requests I might have. I understand that my waiter is not perfect and that mistakes are possible. I also understand that if my special request cannot be accommodated, it is not the waiter’s fault. When my waiter goes above and beyond the call of service, my appreciation is reflected in the very generous tip I leave behind. I also thank them verbally and express my appreciation to the manager (surely they like to hear good news, too). Rarely do I have bad service.

By MrLiberty

April 21, 2006 03:19 PM | Link to this

Rod,

As a vegetarian I am not going to hide my displeasure at the operation of a restaurant whose primary goal is to advance the consuption of mass quantities of animals. Despite how wonderful their service is, I do not patronize restaurants of that kind on my own dollar. My one visit to Chops was at the invitation of a co-worker in recognition of their 10th aniversary with the company. The meal I was served, while very nice, was overpriced for the items I was served, and I am keenly aware that were I to go to this restaurant with my vegetarian wife we would no doubt be looked upon with much disdain for not ordering the beef and paying the accompanying high prices. Further, we would be at the mercy of the chef, his desire to provide us something interesting, and the luck of the draw as far as available items with which to prepare the dish.

Chops doesn’t need to accomodate vegetarians. If I ran a restaurant, I certainly would not accomodate meat eaters. That they chose to shows not only how professional they are as an establishment, how capable their chef is as a chef, but also how interested in showing a party of 8 (that spent nearly $500 just for lunch) how much they wanted to keep everyone happy.

I would rather see all meat-oriented restaurants go out of business and be replaced by vegetarian only ones. One of my favorites is Udipi Cafe in Decatur, which not only serves wonderful Indian cuisine, but is vegetarian as well. Not only great food, but I never have to worry about meat accidentally making its way into the dish. Until that time, I do what I can to avoid patronizing restaurants that make no accomodation on their menus’ for the growing population of vegetarians in this country.

By Fluffy

April 21, 2006 03:31 PM | Link to this

MrLiberty? Liberty? What on earth is liberating, liberal or even libertarian about you? You would rather see all meat-oriented restaurants go out of business and be replaced by vegetarian ones? What kind of rationale is that? Just b/c you don’t eat meat, the rest of us can’t either?

Ya know…if people would only realize that they are NOT the only person on the planet, life sure would be a lot sweeter. There are other people here with different tastes, looks, feelings, religions, ethnicities, backgrounds, etc. The world doesn’t revolve around you sweetheart. Then again, you go to Udipi…’nuff said.

By Rod

April 21, 2006 03:39 PM | Link to this

Ouch, Fluffy!!!

Is Udipi that bad? (not that I like Indian food anyway - of course I’m not hoping they go out of business either: like some would who don’t like a restaurant’s choice in food).

By Florida Native

April 21, 2006 03:39 PM | Link to this

turn ‘em and burn ‘em ??? That is so horrible. That table is mine until I pay the bill and leave the restarant. It really makes me want to stay longer when the server is rushing me out the door. If I wanted fast food, I’d go to a place where I don’t have to tip anyone. I go to a restaurant with servers for a reason, a relaxing evening. A quality tip is earned.

By Paul Teitelbaum

April 21, 2006 03:39 PM | Link to this

For those interested, go to stainedapron.com. It is a website where waitstaff post messages about good and bad experiences, customers, bosses, etc. It will make you think twice before you are too much of a pain in the a* in a restaurant. There are ways they get their revenge on unpleasant customers, and the patron may never know. I rarely have a problem, but if I do I am very careful if I have a restaurant complaint. I try to be polite and fair.

By azcat225

April 21, 2006 03:44 PM | Link to this

I’m a relative newbie to the AJC blogs but I do have to say this one is far more civil than the all-out war that rages every day, ad nauseum, in the Luckovich blog. I’ve given up on that blog. I just have to comment on tipping, though. The only folks I ever hear stating that 15% is a tip for horrible to poor service seem to be those in the industry. The “rest of us”, i.e. customers, still cling to quaint notion that 15% is for average service, with increasing percentages for better and better service. Price inflation for menu items over time makes up for inflation elsewhere. And yes, I have tipped 25-35% for great/memorable service. 50%??!?! Not in this lifetime (at least not without winning the next MegaMillions jackpot…).

By Fluffy

April 21, 2006 03:47 PM | Link to this

Rod - I wasn’t really referring to Udipi as a restaurant perse, I was referring to the clientelle. The highbrow, stuffy, I-only-wear-Berkenstock’s crowd. A waiter’s nightmare. However, a good waiter/ess will make them happy too!

By Brill

April 21, 2006 03:53 PM | Link to this

Lance - Thanks for the brevity. Kudos to Fluffy, the Voice of Reason. If I ever consider opening a vegan restaurant, please kill me.

By Fluffy

April 21, 2006 03:56 PM | Link to this

Hey azcat - welcome! ALL the blogs on AJC are strange. I just wanted to clarify the 50% tip. I’ve only done it once and the waiter was amazingly good to us. I’ll even tell the embarassing story. BOTH of us forgot our wallets! We were mortified. The waiter not only let one of us go home (15 miles!) and get it with no rolled-eyes or discouraging words, but he took my “doggie bag” in the back and put it in the fridge and brought me a sliver of pie and a magazine for my wait. When hubby returns, he sees him come through the door and has the check waiting, along with the well-chilled doggie bag at the table. He smiled the entire time (genuinely) and wished us a very pleasant evening. Needless to say, we go there almost every time we eat out now. I love Italians!

By AtlGirl

April 21, 2006 03:58 PM | Link to this

Have to add my two cents….I agree with azcat225. I consider a 15% tip for average service, 20-25% for above average, and less than 15% for poor. I don’t think it’s necessary to tip 50-100%. EVER. And I don’t think it’s necessary to slip the server $ beforehand. We go out to eat for food AND service. It’s expected. That’s what we’re paying for. We’re NOT just paying for food, and shouldn’t be expected to tip much above and beyond that for service, IMO. If I was just going out for the food, I would go to the grocery store and cook for myself, which is what we do most of the time anyway.

I have been server and bartender. There were good days AND bad days. But I NEVER expected anything over 15-20%. If I got it, well then it was a nice surprise.

By Jon

April 21, 2006 04:11 PM | Link to this

Each time a waitress asks me if I want change back, I say “I do now.”

Why can’t they just say “I’ll be right back with your change.” ?? That would garner a much larger tip. Then the response is — ‘no thanks, that’s for you.’

By Stephen

April 21, 2006 04:28 PM | Link to this

I do order my food the way I want it. If I can’t do that, I’ll just stay at home & cook. So I’ll substitute one vegetable for another, try to ask ahead of time for things like special sauces and the like. I also drink a lot of tea (usually) and hate being without something in my glass! I’ll drink my water to get me by when the waiter/waitress is busy, but I don’t expect to go the whole meal w/ 0-1 refill. Do this and it will reflect in your tip, especially if both of my glasses stay empty. I’m friendly & never try and decide whether I like them or not until I see how they do their job (don’t judge someone by their looks but by their work ethics). If I go a whole meal w/o someone checking back on my table you’ll get 10%-%15 tip. Average you’ll get 20%. Really good you’ll get 25%, and AWESOME will get you 30%.

By Shell

April 21, 2006 04:43 PM | Link to this

homesick: Well said. “Customer service” means all your costumers, not just the one who make the biggest @sses of themselves.

Fluffy: you got a jewel of a waiter that time. I tried to explain to an acquaintance how to handle situations like that and she acted as though I’d lost my mind.

In her case, her boyfriend paid for the meal with a credit card and she was supposed to leave the tip. She left bupkus “because [she] forgot to bring any cash.” She said she was “highly offended” when the waiter accosted them as they were leaving to ask if something was wrong with the service. When I told her that tipping is part of eating out she replied, “I have as much right as anybody to eat out! As long as I can pay for the meal that’s all that matters!” I think it was four times that I counted to ten before replying, and was still worried that the top of my head was going to pop off.

I’ve come up short a time or two when eating out, and here’s how I handled it. In one particular case I was out of town visiting a friend, was due to leave that night, and decided to have one more seafood meal at a restaurant I liked. When I realized my error I called the waitress and the manager over, explained that I’d screwed up and not brought enough money (this was in the days before debit/ATM cards) to cover the bill and a proper tip, and apologized for being such a noodge. I got their names and the address of the restaurant and told them I’d send the tip when I got home. Imagine their surprise when I actually did it. Imagine my surprise when I went back to the restaurant over a year later and they both remembered me. The manager refused to let me pay for my dinner on this return visit, so the price of it went to the waitress along with her tip.

I’ve brain-cramped closer to home, too, (thankfully it never happened much, and less lately) and surprised waitstaff and management by promising to return with a tip and then actually doing it, promptly. I’ve been back to such places and always, always, get treated like a king. Why? Because I remembered, as homesick said, that the restaurant staff are people too, and as such are worthy of the respect due a fellow human being.

By Crissy

April 21, 2006 04:51 PM | Link to this

First, watch the movie ‘Waiting’. Everyone. While some of it may be slightly blown out of proportion, please know that many of us who work in restaurants are working and going to school. this means that there is a very good chance that we have a better education than many of our customers. this can also mean that one day, we will more than likely be your doctor, your lawyer, your childrens’ teacher, or a slew of other things. please keep this in mind when you are horrible to us. as far as vegetarians go, i’d say 95 percent of you are a tremendous pain in the a*. please stop behaving as though you are doing something wonderful for the earth. you’re not. if my special of the day is not vegetarian, don’t be condescending. go somewhere else. enjoy a nice homemade pimiento sandwich on homemade bread, or an organic spinach salad with a variety of delicious homemade dressings. how about the soup? or the quiche? or the dessert? all homemade. please don’t sneer at it. you wanted buckhead in the mountains? you got it. please don’t ruin the small town for the rest of us.

By anais

April 21, 2006 04:54 PM | Link to this

Just wanted to say thank you HOMESICK. I agree with you.

I never said once in my post that I rolled my eyes or didn’t refill drinks. I am a very professional server until someone (a guest) decides to treat me like a lower lifeform. I was just ranting earlier but I never let it cut into my service. Whether you pay for the experience or not there are some things that I feel a guest should be responsible for. Common sense type things: Being polite, realizing that your server is not perfect and has little control over what is being done in the kitchen, understanding that your server has up to 24 other people to take care of not to mention sidework, being polite and maybe heading to the bar if you have been at the table for longer than 2 hours, keeping the area around the table clean after your children are done eating…stuff like that. When I am at work, you are in my house. I wouldn’t think that you would treat someone elses house with disrespect. Again, paying or not. It is just being curtious. You have no idea how nice it is to walk up to a friendly table. I could care less if the tip was 10%, I am just happy to have nice and welcoming smiles. I’d rather have a day of that than a day of mean 20% tippers that make you feel like a personal servant. It is so weird when you walk up to a table and they look like they hate the world and everything else in it. Just because you might be having a bad day does not mean you have to spead it to everyone else. I always do my best to cheer people up and be real with them but some people are just plain classless.

By azcat225

April 21, 2006 05:00 PM | Link to this

Fluffy and Shell—-your comments echo those of others; you get back what you give. Carolyn, as to your original question, I’m not much for custom orders, other than I always want my salad dressing on the side (so I get enough to actually taste it in the salad), and I always have to have the onions held (I like them, they definitely don’t like me any more). I’ll let the dressing slide, but if my meal comes with onions, it goes back and the tip reflects it. I know the server is not the chef/line cook, BUT it is part of their job to get things like that right. If it matters to me, it should matter to the restaurant staff. Within reason, of course. I can’t help but think of Five Easy Pieces as we address this topic (I know some of you are old enough to know what I’m talkin’ about). And thanks for the welcome, Fluffy. :-)

By anais

April 21, 2006 05:09 PM | Link to this

All one has to do for special requests is be up front. If you are a veggie, call ahead and find out the menu situation and do a little research for yourself. The server and the restaurant can usually fullfill any special circumstances.

By Dawggirl

April 21, 2006 05:20 PM | Link to this

Okay, this is for those in food service — how should a customer handle a fast-casual restaurant with minimal waitstaff work? I’m talking about traditional cafeterias where the waitstaff may bring you a refill on coffee or tea or a bottle of hotsauce but doesn’t take your order or serve you your meal. I’ve been looking for appropriate tip guidelines there. I don’t want to be insulting and goodness knows those folks work hard too (some of them are bussing tables in addition to bringing customers the “extras”). However, 20% seems excessive unless someoe can tell me that the earn the same $2.13 an hour as waitstaff in traditional restaurants.

And what’s up with the tip jar at fast food places? Don’t these employees get paid the traditional minimum wage not the paltry $2.13? (Not that minimum wage is much either.)

By anais

April 21, 2006 05:27 PM | Link to this

Dawggirl:

I worked at a place recently that had brunch on Sunday’s. All I did as far as the guest knows is get drinks, refill them and remove plates. But here is what the guest doesn’t know. We (the waitstaff) get there 2 hours early to set up the line and once everything is over we take an hour (at least) to break it down. We also have sidework (closing sidework and running sidework) to keep up with. So it is up to you I guess on what you want to leave but most people leave 18% to 20% tips.

By Shell

April 21, 2006 05:42 PM | Link to this

Heh, heh. Dawggirl, the people at fast food joints, coffee shops, and the like who set out a tip jar and, or without it just, expect a tip for taking my order, taking my money, handing me my change (almost invariably without counting it back) and handing me my order, always get the same tip from me.

“Plant your corn and your peas early this year.”

By Lisa

April 21, 2006 06:12 PM | Link to this

If you are going to “Special Request” your server,try to be extra considerate. You want them on your side, after all, in running interference with the kitchen. (The cook doesn’t get tipped extra for your special order. He wants to sell the menu!)

First of all, tell the server right up front, “I’m going to place a special order. I know this might be a little complicated, so please bear with me.” Or, “I hope you can make this for me, or something similar. What do you suggest?”

The closer you come to ordering an actual menu item - with a variation or two - the better chance you will get it the way you want it. When you start inventing a dish that isn’t even on the menu (it happens ALL the time!) please understand that it may not be exactly what you had in mind. If there is a dish you want to see on the menu, let the management know so they can consider adding it.

I’ve seen customers during a busy shift start reeling off a “special” order that bears no relationship to any dish on the menu. The server has to figure out how to ring it in and charge for it, the kitchen has to interpret the ticket, the expeditor or food runner has to figure out what the dish is and what goes with it. Somewhere along the way, something gets lost in the translation and the customer is unhappy with the result.

Suppose you went in to a department store and chose a dress but said, “I don’t want the sleeves on it, I want it two inches shorter, and I want the neckline deeper.” Well you MIGHT get what you want, but it would take time and cost you extra for alterations! Restaurant customers should have the same appreciation for the extra effort that goes into special ordering and compensate their server accordingly!

By marty

April 24, 2006 04:53 PM | Link to this

I used to wait tables too and I believe in rewarding good service, but some of you are ridiculous esp. the guy who gives a $20 at the beginning and another 20 percent! 15 percent is for average good service and that’s what we get most of the time! Bad service = 10 percent tip. Who can afford to eat out and give waiters 18 to 20 percent? Someone said your gas and living expenses as a waitron have gone up? So have mine! I pay more for food than I did five years ago, and as the cost of food rises, 15% of the check is more and that means you’re getting more money while I’m paying more money.