AJC > Iraq coverage > Blog > Archives > 2005 > September > 12 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USI will never again take anything for granted
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Days are starting to go by a little faster as I get more used to this place. It’s funny what you can get used to when you have to. I was so afraid of this place when I stepped off that plane and took my first step into Iraq; it’s a very unique experience I must say. Nothing is the way I pictured it and the reality of the situation is far more real.
On the convoy down to Forward Operating Base Michael, I rode in a fuel truck filled to the brim and all I could think about was what would happen if an IED (roadside bomb) were to hit our truck. It didn’t help seeing craters from previous explosions all along the road. Somehow, being locked and loaded and ready to go didn’t seem to calm my nerves.
I arrived safely on the FOB and quickly tried to make my small place more “homey” by putting up a few pictures and unpacking a few things. I started my job right away on a 12-hour rotating schedule. I began to adapt to my routine as I thought of the year to come. There would be no more trips to Wal-Mart in the middle of the night, no more sleeping on a bed, no more eating at Willies Wienie Wagon (those from Brunswick know what I’m talking about), no more consumption of alcohol, no more safe surroundings, and no more Randy (my husband). Things just got serious.
Every day seems like the day before it and it’s only because of my job that I can even keep track of the days here. Most of the time I have no idea what is going on outside of this little FOB and I like it this way.
For a while I was the radio telephone operator (RTO) for my unit here and it was hell. I was hearing everything that happened outside on our patrols and convoys. Some days were better than others, but the bad days were sometimes very bad and it was hard to fully comprehend that stuff. I just did my job and tried not to think about it too much. I will never take anything for granted anymore. I was glad when they changed some people’s jobs around. I didn’t like knowing everything that happened to our guys out there. Sometimes ignorance can be bliss.
For the people who stay inside the wire, we cannot comprehend many of the things that our guys on patrol must deal with every day. It’s just like those of you at home will never understand what it’s like here and we will never understand what it’s like to for you being at home worrying about us. It doesn’t matter how well you are able to describe things, it has to do with actually experiencing it.
Sometimes I wonder what is the most difficult, putting yourself in danger every day or having someone you love in danger every day. Either way, it’s not a pleasant thing and the frustration of the situation is bound to set in pretty quickly. I’m frustrated, my husband is frustrated, and a lot of the guys here I know are frustrated. I can hear it in their voices when they call home. But we’ll be back before too long and then everything will be okay again.
But for now, we just keep doing the job that our country is asking us to do and hope that we make a difference here and back home.
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Comments
Commenting is now closed for this entry.
By Marie
September 12, 2005 12:17 PM | Link to this
Lauren, You ARE making a difference. THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By kelly
September 12, 2005 01:09 PM | Link to this
thank-you for your comments. Reading it makes me feel more connected to my husband over there with you at fob michael. thank you for that and especially for serving our country every one of you are special people.
By Cammie
September 12, 2005 01:14 PM | Link to this
Lauren - I used to go to a Willie’s Weenie Wagon in the South Suburbs of Chicago. The food was amazing! I now need to travel to Brunswick to see how “your” Willie’s compares!
Thanks for all you do!
By S.
September 12, 2005 06:47 PM | Link to this
I really liked this article. You are so right about everything. I thank you, my husband and the rest of the troops for what you are doing. You are all HEROS in my book. May God keep you safe and bring you home soon.
By sw
September 12, 2005 07:25 PM | Link to this
Lauren, your article reflects what many of us at home and our loved ones at war are feeling. Your straight forward and honest discription of your feelings has hit home with me. Thank you.
By Tracy Ledford
September 12, 2005 09:29 PM | Link to this
Lauren, Your article brought tears to my eyes. I too am a wife missing my husband so I do know what that feels like for you. I can’t, however, begin to understand the fear you must live in there. Your words felt very honest and personal. All of you are making a huge difference. I teach 6th grade and the awareness and patritoism these kids have is incredible. My husband spoke to my students last May before he left. It made all of this seem real to them and gave them a reason to watch the news and know what is going on. They are so proud of Jason and proud that they feel like they know him. Your article serves a similar purpose, in that it makes us feel like we are more informed and in tune with what you all are going through and I am thankful to you for that. I am sure that your husband was already proud of you and now he can share that pride with all of us. Keep your chin up and be safe. We want all of you back home. Tracy Ledford Proud wife of Jason
By mike Greeson
September 13, 2005 08:21 AM | Link to this
LAUREN quote “But we’ll be back before too long and then everything will be okay again.”
No, you can never come back. Iraq is the most changing experience of your life. You will be a different woman when you rotate home. Part of you will be with the kids that replace you and you won’t understand why people at the Weenie Wagon don’t care. You will be a much older and wiser woman. I should know, I’ve been to every dung heap the Army had from Nam to Kuwait.
Tell Jimmy Greeson to stay off that stolen Russian motorcycle.
By A Combat Soldier
September 13, 2005 05:13 PM | Link to this
Lauren, your article pains me…the fact that you think the absence of wal-mart, willie’s weenie wagon, and alcohol would make you think that you are in a dangerous environment is ridiculous. Try going outside the wire for 12 hours, coming back for a 30 minute re-fit, then back out for another 6 hours. The fact of the matter is we are all suffering from the separation from our families, but we turn it off in order to get our job done. God Bless You Lauren, I wish I lived in your fantasy world.
By Christy
September 13, 2005 07:21 PM | Link to this
To: A Combat Soldier Everyone has a job to do. You should be proud of the one that you are doing, we are. You also have no right criticizing others of their job. Try a little kindness. Everyone is in this together. Take care of yourselves and each other. Christy
By my name is faith
September 13, 2005 10:51 PM | Link to this
Combat Soldier, thank you for all that you do. I have thought about how to write this, long and hard……….. My husband is also in the same boat. I think it is time for one of you to send in your own dispatch/blog. If you have read any of the past comments, there are many of us that feel your voice is not heard.
The only problem is, what would you write? You would have to censor yourself to the point of silence. I have had to as well. Writing to friends in the U.S., being employed to write in war torn countries. You delete the car bombs, the gun fire, and the murders that become part of daily life. My big joke, when I was late for work was…”sorry I was late, my nose was in a pile of frozen dog poop,” (during the volley of mafia gunfire.) Could I tell this to my friends in the U.S.A., not likely.
Lauren can only tell her story from her point of view. Her “fantasy world” IS her reality, it is definatly not yours.
Combat soldier, if you have access to a comp, get the guys together and make your voice heard.
By Cheryl Ryder
September 14, 2005 04:13 AM | Link to this
Lauren, I pray daily for you and those that serve with you. I also promise to never take what all of you are doing for granted. Thank you for serving our country.
I wait for the day when all of you are home safe.
Cheryl Ryder
By Father of a combat soldier
September 14, 2005 09:02 AM | Link to this
To Combat Soldier - Thank you for your service. I get messages almost everyday from my son at FOB Roe describing successful operations against the terrorists. He is a lot like you - never complains, just does his job. These successful operations you guys are conducting are not reported by the AJC. I wonder why you have not been asked to post a Blog. Can’t have anything to do with the anti-War posture of the AJC.
By Timothy Gunnin
September 14, 2005 01:09 PM | Link to this
She puts what alot of us feel down on this blog. Its a shame that Gen. Rodheaver feels that her blog is a bad thing and wants to call AJC reps in Iraq “onto the carpet” for a dress down because of what we feel and say about this deployment. One simple blog seems to threaten this man and his small world view. I wish he would stop thinking of his self and worry about us as much as he does he’s self. How many people know that he told your husbands, sons, fathers and brothers that the infantry was nothing special (twice at once at NTC and again in Kuwait)when it came to our request for gear and equipment that was readly given to PSD personal. We need leaders and not “showboats” who try to paint this war in a poitive light. It’s brutal its tough but we do it..not for home not for the leadership and not for iraq..but for our brothers in arms that we sweat and bleed with every day. We have all lost some innocence here that most people get to hang onto even after they are old because of the job we do here. I hope our chain of command will cme to appriciate that from “every” soldier in the 48th..Guard, reserve ,IIR and those who voluntered to come after they did their commintment to the armed forces.
By A COMBAT SOLDIER
September 14, 2005 02:53 PM | Link to this
Dearest Faith, You are the bomb. Your explosive words lift our spirits like no other. Indeed, it is hard to get the news of combat operations from reporters who refuse to leave the comforts of Camp Striker. In all fairness, however, the AJC did write one positive story from the Triangle of Death. It concerned an autographed baseball from home. While this is nice, it hardly offers support to the soldiers who go outside the wire every day on combat missions. People like you, Faith, represent, the Silent Majority of Americans who support us and would like to hear real news. Unfortunately, the AJC embargo on good news is firmly in place. Thanks again, Faith, for your support.
By my name is faith
September 15, 2005 02:09 AM | Link to this
Combat Soldier, some say silence is golden….not my mantra. My husband is vacationing at the “potato factory” in the lovely vacation spot of the “Sunni Triangle.”
By Denna McCartney
September 16, 2005 11:51 PM | Link to this
Dear Lauren, Thanks for your perspective on life inside the wire and out.It gives me info on what my soldier is feeling and seeing. Its what he don’t say when he calls that tells me he is doing his job for his country and other fellow soldiers. Keep up the good work I know you are making a difference in that country.
By observer
September 17, 2005 07:21 AM | Link to this
Lauren, I sure hope it was your decision or need to temporarily close your blog and not someone else’s. My soldier is not even with the 48th, but I found your site and check it every day - it brings such insight to what life is like “over there”. Does being in the military mean you lose everything? Including your first amendment rights?
By An Officer's Wife
September 17, 2005 07:05 PM | Link to this
There’s a little thing civilians don’t understand, and it’s called OPSEC. If we can read what soldiers are “feeling and seeing” and what they’re doing and where they’re doing it…others can too; meaning, people who might want to inflict harm upon our soldiers.
It sickens me to run even the remotest of risks of putting our soldiers’ lives (and even more specifically, my husband) in danger because of blogs out there authored by people who feel the need to inappropriately share the details of their mission with the world.
There’s a fine line in the military between “free speech” and “violating OPSEC,” and civilians don’t “get” that. Sadly, a lot of soldiers don’t, either.
Would it be acceptable to all of you to have a base fired upon due to information an insurgent found on a military blog? If you’re all willing to sacrifice military security and safety so soldiers can whine about what a crappy situation they’re in, that’s your preogative. I however, will never advocate that.
By jason
September 17, 2005 09:55 PM | Link to this
By my name is faith
September 17, 2005 10:31 PM | Link to this
Officer’s Wife, Thank you for you passionate view, it was well put.
I was wondering when I too would be attacked.Thank you for being so promt, and completly discordant.
I do belive that what we would all like to hear about our men and women at these FOBs, is the day to day. The laughter and the improvisation, when living in rough quarters. I laugh when my husband tells me what they do for a little sanity, THAT needs to be shared.
Take for example, the wonderful human interest stories, like the one just written about the saint of a Staff Sgt. who purchased wheelchairs,and is making a difference in a climate of hatred and suffering. When I say that their “voice” needs to be heard..I mean exactly that.
We all know about SECOPs, but thank you for reminding all of us. The next time my husband calls me to tell me their coordinates, I will try to remember not to share this info.
Whether we all know it or not, we want all want for the same thing, let’s all support eachother. Sorry Officer’s Wife, for the SECOPs comment, but I couldn’t help myself. It was meant totally in jest.
By Timothy Gunnin
September 20, 2005 02:37 AM | Link to this
Officers wife..aka cililian.
It’s always nice to get an officers wife ponit of view on how Trops and spouses should conduct themselves..not. We that go outside the wire on a dialy basis are more then aware of what we say and don’t say as far as OPSEC. What we want for all troops is a voice of the day to day struggles we go through. From dealing with the war to dealing with a chain of command that seems to have ..lets say problems or say spouses of officers who think they know better and want to preach because of who they are married to..you ma’am..are not military. Taking this blog off line is another example of the heavy handed tactics that have been used against troops since we were activated. We have been lied too and treated like the “nasty guard” since being here. We have a good ole bot network that fears alot of ex active duty guys because they are seen as a threat to jobs and positions. And that is jsut a damn shame. I love the military and I love my job (at times ..lol) It’s hard and it’s dirty work we do..But we do it. Have a little respect Sir ( and he knows who I mean) for the common trooper. Cause god knows when we get back to Georgia it’s gonna be hell to pay for the treatment we have put up with. What are they going to do with a force that leaves in mass? How can we have respect for a chain of command that said we could not see our families yet had families put up in hotels and other places while at Stewart? I could on and on..But we know he things that went on and we need a voice to air it. Despite what certain people might say.
By me
September 20, 2005 06:48 AM | Link to this
hooray for Timothy! Thank you for telling it like it is! You have my respect for being truthful. Good luck to you.
By wow
September 20, 2005 02:37 PM | Link to this
It never seems to amaze me some of the bitterness that is spitted out on this blog. We have no idea how anyone feels…inside the wire or outside..but don’t think the inside is any safer.