Get Schooled

By Jeff

December 3, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this

I don’t think teachers should be required to be a mentor, as those kind of arrangements rarely work as good as hoped.

HOWEVER, I think teachers should pursue any natural mentor relationships that develop with their students.

I know my own life was completely changed by just such a relationship. Mr Harris - the principal of my alternative school - took me under his wing at a very critical point in my life, and he became a second father to me.

I attempted in my abortive teaching career to reach out to kids the way he reached out to me, and while I don’t think I had quite the impact he did, I know I was able to gently redirect a couple of kids and give a few others hope where they had little to none. You can fault me for many things when I was in the classroom. But to try to fault me for not caring shows just how little you know about who I was, what I did, who I am, or what I do.

By Old School Al

December 3, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this

We all know the cliche’ “they don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care!” As a middle school teacher, I find that the most effective teachers spend nearly as much time counseling/mentoring as they spend doing direct instruction.

When the students know that you are concerned about them as individuals, they tend to work harder so that they don’t disappoint you. Many times our students don’t have the home environments that promote the value of education, so the child is not encouraged or applauded when it comes to school.

I don’t think you can quantitately state what part of our job should be spent mentoring students. The only thing that is certain is that 100% of our job is to educate students based on the standards set by the state and prepare them for their future.

By GT Rules!

December 3, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

Jeff - you’re a nut! How are you going to be defensive about someone judging your actions in the classroom, when you were the only one who blogged? You need to increase your meds!

By L-Spice

December 3, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

As a middle school teacher, I find that having the time and mental energy to be a mentor is very challenging. Not because it’s not vitally important, but precisely because it IS so important, and not something you can half-do. Gentle nudges, kind words, attention…things like these can be done to attempt to counteract whatever else is going on in the students life.
One of my biggest frustrations is that I felt my students really wanted more of a connection, and I am very careful about how and when I offer a helping hand. Time is a constraint, as is fear of legal reprisal if a parent feels I’ve interfered. On the whole, I would say that as a community, we need to realize the importance of mentoring, and what a precious gift- to ANYONE- it is to just listen. Most of the time teachers are trying to get 1 million things done required of them by the state. Ah, but I’m done now…if I continue, I ‘ll just ramble.

By Fulton County Teacher

December 3, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this

Teachers are always mentors. As a teacher, we have enough work to accomplish without wearing several other hats! Also, when are parents going to “step up to the plate” and assume some responsiblity for their children?

By Dr. Craig Spinks/Augusta

December 3, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

I challenge all retirees, especially other RETIRED TEACHERS, to volunteer to mentor our kids? Classroom teachers have more-than-enough to do as it is.

By Dr. Craig Spinks/Augusta

December 3, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

CORRECTION: I challenge all retirees, especially other RETIRED TEACHERS, to volunteer to mentor our kids. Classroom teachers have more-than-enough to do as it is.

By jim d

December 3, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

Real teachers never stop teaching, never allow an opportunity to slip by. Mentoring is one such moment.

I salute those of you that take the time to teach through this method. Teaching life lessons often goes much further than teaching academia.

By V for Vendetta

December 3, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

This is one of those “above and beyond” examples that teachers SHOULD do, whether it’s through coaching, club sponsorship, one-on-one mentoring, or something else entirely. To be positive for a second, many teachers do these kinds of things on a daily basis. I realize that there are many selfish and underqualified teachers out there, but I would argue that more than half of the teachers in the profession today partake in some form of mentoring that I’ve previously mentioned. If not, they should.

Perhaps that’s why when we get just a wee bit frustrated with all the other BS, we feel justified in feeling that way.

By Old School

December 3, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Sometimes an opportunity to connect with a student just happens. I’ve had many students who just wanted to unload their frustrations on someone. I take none of it personally, even when I am the one they have a problem with. Instead, I usually take a deep breath and try very hard to really listen. I keep my mouth shut and focus on what they are saying (you aren’t listening if you are talking, interrupting, or formulating brilliant answers).

Often, it’s just the chance to say it out loud that “fixes” their problems. I’ve never had any formal training in counseling so I draw on my experience as a mom. It seems to work, especially when the students realize that I don’t break their confidence unless (and I’m real clear with them on this) it is something that needs to be passed along to an admin, a counselor, or other authority.

I don’t believe you can MAKE someone be an effective mentor even if you put them through rigorous training. There has to be a chemistry between the student and teacher for two-way communication to exist and be effective.

By jim d

December 3, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

FCT,

“when are parents going to step up to the plate?”

Mentoring is a horse of an entirely different color. Children almost always find it easier to talk to someone other than their parents. Teachers that fill these voids for kids are doing a wonderful job of providing a service to the entire community. but then that is JMHO.

By V for Vendetta

December 3, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

FCT and Jim D,

I agree with both of you. It’s frustrating to feel as if you are more of a parent to a student than his or her own parents, but, at the same time, there are many kids who need a little extra support regardless of their home life situation.

By Mr. Perspective

December 3, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

I have been teaching for fifteen years. I can’t imagine doing another job. My very first mentee (I like to think of them as Proteges, really) is probably in jail. I like to think that whatever good there is in him is at least partially due to my efforts.

Another particular protege, who is about 25, and I speak about once a month or a little more frequently. We talk about life’s trials and I think I’ve helped her keep connected to her parents in a better more lasting way. I’m proud to know her and call her a friend and am honored that she seeks my counsel.

Meanwhile, I’ve just given my HS seniors a practice final exam. Two nodded off not caring and a third began sketching various things around the room. It’s hard to guide a student who is pointed the wrong direction and has little interest in turning around.

Parents HAVE TO be part of the solution. Guess which student mentioned above had a great home life.

I’ll do whatever I can in most situations, but I can’t turn the kid around until he asks.

Good day, folks.

By jim d

December 3, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this

V,

As you know I generally become a bit defensive with people blaming parenting on most of the problems with kids today. Thing is you can be the best parent in the world and kids can still not meet many expectations.

I know that we were fortunate to have support through the church, Scouting, teachers and particularlly his wrestling coaching staff that provided my son with a great deal of guidance.

While I am extremely proud of my child, his accomplishments and the direction in life he has chosen, I am confident he would not have been as he is, was it not for the fine people that took the time to mentor him along the way. To those people I offer a heart felt THANK YOU

By Old School

December 3, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this

jimdear, teachers and other adults do fill in the gaps for kids sometimes. I put it to you that we adults need to be very careful in how we take what they are saying. I call it “kid truth” because there is an element of fact in what they say. There is also their own slant and viewpoint that must be factored into the equation.

For example: When my oldest was very young, she could look at our pantry and fridge full to bursting with good food and still complain to her grandpa that “we don’t have anything to eat.” He would then call me with info on grocery specials and deals. I was perplexed until I realized that “…anything to eat” meant there were no cookies & chips. With both sets of grandparents living in the same town, I let them provide the treats and I took care of balanced meals.

Kid truth. It can make mentoring or parenting a challenge until you start to REALLY listen.

By jim d

December 3, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

OLD school,

Again we were fortunate to have the nearest realative living a mere 225 miles away! LOL

By Old Physics Teacher

December 3, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

Mentoring is what all good teachers do. Unfortunately some listen; some don’t. The problem with “assigning” mentors is the same problem with “assigning” spouses. If the society’s culture doesn’t value it, neither do the people who have been “assigned,” or the ones they were “assigned to”.

Mentoring is akin to spandex. It does fit anyone, although in may cases it shouldn’t!

By Old School

December 3, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

Now jimdear! The grandparents in my girls’ lives were certainly anomalies. They actually tried to maintain the rules we had in place and we allowed them the freedom to dote on the girls. It was a remarkable balancing act but it worked well. My beautiful girls are well-adjusted, smart, kind women now and I give a very large portion of credit to the grands on both sides!

My MIL was a school teacher as was my husband. My mom was county media specialist for the system. I think of how they would handle a student who might come to them for advice or information and respond accordingly. By just listening carefully, I give students a chance to work their own problems out and that’s a skill they will really need later on in life. Of course, if they want my view, I’ll share it, tempered with common sense and discretion.

By Reader

December 3, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this

How about: bankers as mentors? real estate agents as mentors? nurses as mentors? firefighters as mentors? salesmen as mentors? insurance agents as mentors? ministers as mentors? truck drivers as mentors? retired anything as mentors? lawyers as mentors? deputies as mentors? accountants as mentors? builders as mentors? tae kwon do instructors as mentors?

By RealityKing

December 3, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this

Fathers should mentor, counseling should be done by trained counselors and academics should be taught by good teachers. Everyone has a gift, few have multiple..

By Stacey

December 3, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this

I think it is very natural for kids to chose teachers as mentors because often teachers are the only adults (other than parents) that kids care about and/or believe cares about them. In my opinion though, the kid has to choose the teacher and not the other way around. Most kids would probably gravitate to the “nice” teacher but I think a surprising number would choose the one who was willing to stand up to them and give them a much needed “pick in the pants”.

I had my two best teachers ever in 11th grade and they were both male. Mr. M was the type who loved his job, loved his students just seemed to connect with everyone he came in contact with. He was chosen STAR teacher so often that it was truly a shock if he wasn’t. Everytime I watch a movie about an inspirational teacher, I find myself comparing him to Mr M and the movie subject never quite measured up.

Mr H was a tough, no nonsense, no excuses type of teacher. He only taught advanced courses and expected those who took his classes to show and prove. He let us know that he was available an hour before and an hour after school to help with anything you needed but it was up to you to ask for help. He said if we were determined to make straight F’s, he was obliged to to allow us. I sweated blood to get a B- in his class and even though it was the lowest grade I received in high school, it was also the most well earned. Mr. H also gave a lot of unsolicited advise and pearls of wisdom that we pretended to ignore but we really took them to heart. It didn’t matter that my parents had been telling me the same thing all of my life. Mr H somehow gave it credibility.

By jim d

December 3, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

Reader,

I’m proud to say that during the past 13 years of my involvement with Scouting I’ve seen people from every one of those occupations you mentioned acting as mentors.

By catlady

December 3, 2008 6:16 PM | Link to this

Sometimes teachers are the only high-achieving, responsible, work everyday adults kids are around. I act as a mentor, coach, and resource to my students. I limit contact outside of the school, however, because there are folks who want to cry “foul” and suspect you of bad motives. “My kids” come back and talk to me, or call me, or write me. I send them notes of encouragement as they go through school, and I talk to their parents about further educational opportunities.

By catlady

December 3, 2008 6:27 PM | Link to this

I am talking about in my area. Obviously, in some areas the teachers are actually the dregs of humanity, as some on this blog are wont to point out. In my area, 80% or more of the people with a college degree are teachers. Many of the kids at our school know no one who has finished high school, and only a few family members who bothered to marry before having children.

By Jeff

December 4, 2008 7:40 AM | Link to this

Stacey:

I’m living proof that teachers like Mr H don’t last in education anymore, unfortunately. The Establishment won’t let anyone who doesn’t bow at the almighty altar of The Child’s Self Esteem survive.

By jim d

December 4, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

Item #7: Transform the profession by controlling entry and promotion within it.