Get Schooled

By Ernest

July 11, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

Without question, technology has done a LOT to help with communication. With emails, cell phones, and online grade systems, those that are involved with the education of their children can stay in tune with what’s going on.

I like the fact that in most classes, expectations are set by teachers with an outline of activities for the year. I especially like the fact that rubrics are provided with projects so that expectations are clearly set along with guidelines. Most teachers I know also provide information on what they expect from parents/guardians over the course of the year.

Seems to me the key to managing expectations is communication. Can it be that simple?

By catlady

July 11, 2008 9:12 AM | Link to this

I am not sure it is really a communication problem. I think most teachers do a pretty good job letting parents know what is expected, although sometimes clarification is in order; I think frequently parents either disagree or don’t care what is expected. And, as we have seen repeatedly on this blog over the years, there is an attitude of “No one is going to tell me what my child should do!”

As for parent expectations of teachers, I think most parents want teachers to coax the (frequently well) hidden genius out of their kids. They want the teachers to see the child with the same rose colored glasses that they use.

I have said this before: when I have had parents with unrealistic expectations, the best cure is having them spend some time with us at school. That almost invariably gives them a different perspective of the world their child inhabits, and the child’s interactions with and role in that world. Unfortunately,many parents do not want to be disabused of their preconceptions. Those that can/will come, who put it at a top priority, are frequently “brought into the fold” very quickly.

I have had, in the past, parents who said, “No, I won’t sign the agenda! Everything about his education is up to you!” Now, my Latino parents do not do this. Many have very little education, but they accord me much respect as the maestra, and they are willing to believe that if there is a problem, their child might be part of it.

Last year, at 4 different conferences, I had parents say they wish they could give me something besides thanks for my work with their children, but they wanted me to know that they thank God for their children’s teachers.

There should always be mutual respect between parents and teachers. Unfortunately, it does not always happen from either side.

By jim d

July 11, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

Not really quite that simple, Ernest.

I think that teachers and parents need to understand that they each know the child in different contexts and that each may be unaware of what the child is like in the other context. Keep in mind that different people often have distinct but disparate perspectives on the same issue.

for many parents their role is to be their child’s strongest advocate with the teacher and the school.

Other parents, however, may be reluctant to express their concerns because of cultural beliefs related to the authoritative position of the teacher.

Others may have difficulty talking with teachers as a result of memories of their own school years, or they may be unsure of how to express their concerns to teachers.

A few parents may fear that questions or criticism will put their child at a disadvantage in school.

Many parents may be surprised to learn that teachers, especially new teachers, are sometimes equally anxious about encounters with parents.

Most teachers have received very little training in fostering parent-teacher relationships, but with the growing understanding of the importance of parent involvement, they may worry about doing everything they can to encourage parents to feel welcome.

Bottom line though is to foster an open line of communication and put personal agenda’s aside.

By HS Teacher Too

July 11, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

Ernest, you bring up a great point about technology. I think that it has done wonders to improve communication, but sometimes it goes too far.

Here is an example that is personal to me, though I am aware of other cases where technology hasn’t been all that it is cracked up to be: I taught in a GCPS school where we had the ability to email out weekly progress reports. Although there was no “official” policy, it was an unwritten rule that teachers would send out grades every Friday. And let me tell you, if you didn’t do that, parents raised Cain AND the administration would not back you! But what if you didn’t have any grades? Or what if you gave a quiz and weren’t happy with the grades and weren’t sure yet how best to handle it? You couldn’t simply enter “bad” grades and email them home, or worse, not enter any grades. Some parents would take out bad grades on their kids. Others would call me or the school, irate. (Even if it was a mini quiz that ultimately counted less than 1% of a student’s grade.) Other parents, of course, didn’t care. Still others would watch, waiting to see how that number eventually changed, and then demand (not ask) to know how you curved.

I am all for transparent books, as jim d says, with regard to finances, and I certainly do not think a child’s grades should be shady dealings whatsoever. That being said, in my experience, weekly progress reports give helicopter parents too much ammunition and I’ve had the reports used against me, and used against my students, too frequently.

Laura, I think there are two keys. First, as you suggest, is to manage communication. Second is for both sides to be reasonable. It will happen that a teacher gives an assessment that, for whatever reason, goes wrong. (This is just an example, but since I mentioned it earlier I am sticking with it.) Give the teacher a chance to make it right before “attacking.” By the same token, teachers can’t wave the “I am the teacher, I never make mistakes” wand and expect to get away with it.

Finally, I think parents and teachers both ought to be careful in their commitments. A teacher who commits to sending home weekly progress reports, for example, and then fails to do so, has made his or her own bed. But a teacher who promises to send them home “approximately” every other week ought not to be expected to send them home weekly.

I have always found business skills to be invaluable in the classroom/school/conference environment: Ask lots of questions, repeat what the person has just said to you, and fill in any gaps as soon as you realize they exist. If you leave a parent conference promising to be in touch, that’s not enough. Give the parents a definite time frame, and both sides will know what is expected.

I’m sure this is going to be an interesting blog day; I can’t wait to see what other parents and teachers have to say!

By WFC

July 11, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

I’m a retired Advance Placement history teacher (Northview H.S.) who has a son who is currently a rising senior at that school. I see both sides.

• It is my son’s responsibility to keep me up to date on his day-to-day progress. I ask the right questions and almost always get straight answers.

• It is the teachers’ responsibility to report disasters and triumphs. I check the computerized grade sheets once per week.

• I realize that teachers have 100+ students and I have only one son. It is MY (and his mom’s) responsibility to “ride herd” on him. Even the best teen needs someone paying attention.

• Parents who only get involved during the last three weeks of the semester are idiots. I wouldn’t trust them to change a tire on my car.

• Teachers who don’t contact parents of failing students are idiots. These are not always pleasant conversations. In defense of teachers, though, just try to get access to a private phone line in a public school. How many doctors or lawyers are expected to call their patients/clients from their homes.

By iteachlit

July 11, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

Off topic, I know, but has anyone heard whether Gov. Perdue will be giving teachers the $100.00 gift cards again? It’s been a huge help!

By Jeff

July 11, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

I’m gonna agree with WFC and HST2 on this one.

I’m also going to mention that I will virtually disappear from this (and most other AJC.com forums) starting a week from Monday.

Reason: New job, in Albany. Based on what I know they already have lined up for me and what I anticipate the work load being like, there will be extremely little time to think about anything not strictly computer related.

Note to my South GA friends: PLEASE don’t do anything illegal and on/with a computer. At least not in the Albany area. Because if your computer comes into my office, I WILL do everything in my power to bust you - or prove you innocent, as the case may be. (New job is computer forensics and general tech support, government, though I won’t detail exactly which agency.)

By jim d

July 11, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

HS Teacher Too,

Let me interject here that I found the unoffical policy re: weekly reports, in GCPS, to be quite beneficial. It afforded me the knowledge of if the kid was doing and handing in his homework and an ability to kick his As# if he wasn’t.

As for the many questions you raised regarding this practice, I’ve seen them all handled in various manners by different teacahers. The point is that they generally found some extremely creative methods of working around them.

By iteachlit

July 11, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

Our system uses the Parent Connect program which enables parents to check their students’ grades in all classes online as often as they wish. Some parents are irate if a test grade isn’t posted the day the test is given. They refuse to believe that I can’t grade 100 tests by the end of the day (hello, I’m teaching!) or that there is a 24 hour turn around AFTER I post the grades because the office has to update the system every evening for the new grades to be visible. The other parents are the ones who claim they don’t know anything about the availability of Parent Connect and expect for me to relay the child’s grades to them with a print out. Not going to happen! The county has made this tool available, and parents need to get off their behinds and monitor their own kids’ grades. I am expected to update my grade book weekly, and I expect the parents to be able to check Parent Connect at least that often. There is no reason for them to whine about not knowing how their kids are doing.

By catlady

July 11, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

I guess I am old-fashioned, but I think parents should be able to ask their child how he is doing, what his grades are, if he has been turning in his homework and get a straight answer!

By catlady

July 11, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

I guess I am old-fashioned, but I think parents should be able to ask their child how he is doing, what his grades are, if he has been turning in his homework and get a straight answer!

By Gwinnett Educator

July 11, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

One of the issues I have with emails are the parents that will email me about the most NON important issues they can possibly come up with. I have always used my email with my parents and encourage them to do so with me. (it is easier for me to email than make a phone call)

I have been sent emails concerning a child leaving his pencil at home, a child leaving his/her snack at home, a child swallowing a rock on the playground, a child that felt bad because he got in trouble with another teacher concerning something that “other” children started.

I have been sent notes about making sure the child ate all of her breakfast at school because she didnt like to eat it at home OR the WHERE IS HER COAT?? (also asked me to get someone else to help me look for it)

My expectation for parents is to know where to draw the line in the communication. In return, I send home graded/checked work on Fridays and they get a print out of their grades bi weekly. In other requests that are made by parents (work, grades, conferences) I try to meet in a timely fashion.

By catlady

July 11, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

teachlit, about 50% of the students in my school have no computers at home, so the usefulness of those programs is not universal.

By Ernest

July 11, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

I agree HST Too, while technology is a great ‘tool’ to help with communication, expectations as to how it will be used must be managed. I could be considered a ‘helicopter parent’ however I would think that applied more to when my children were in ES. As a parent that understood the need for a strong foundation, I expected more communication at a time when many of these tools were not available. Now that my children are older, I rely on electronic communications and ‘react’ when necessary (usually with my children).

As I stated yesterday, I can ‘rationalize’ while I wanted rigorous instruction for my children during their ES years, I was also advocating that the overall school environment be that of high expectations. I believe ‘some’ teachers may teach to the mood and expectation level for the school they are in. If it is one that parents are not very engaged, it is easy to simply ‘punch the clock’ and go home at the end of the day. I can’t blame teachers for that because this can be the case in business also.

Yes JimD, I didn’t mean to simplify this but wanted to get to the core. I believe it starts with open communication. We all have different backgrounds and experiences however coming to a mutual understanding of goals, objectives, and processes up front can help with the outcomes.

By SallyB

July 11, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

Let me pick up on something catlady@9:10 brought up , namely parents of other cultures. She mentioned Latino parents, but I taught in a school for many years populated with students [and parents] of MANY nationalities[ including Latinos].

This being the case, I rarely had the negative experiences that have been mentioned here. The difference in teacher [school] /parent communication/relationship is remarkable. Parents from Asia, India,Eastern Europe,[at least in my experience] were most respectful of all teachers and often explained to us that in their countries teachers are not only revered,but are ALWAYS right. They also would tell us that they were not expected to become “involved” in school activities [PTA,fund raisers, keeping in touch with teachers] as American parents do. Their job was to be sure that their EXPECTATIONS for their children were high and that their children did what was expected/required of them. If they did not, it reflected badly on their family. They would come to school when requested to do so .

Once, one of our Vietnamese parents came bearing envelopes and gracious thanks for each teacher on our team. Each contained $100. He was so upset when we told him we couldn’t accept the money ,and he just refused to take the money back. We called our principal who finally said for us to go spend the money on something for the class.

By happy2teach

July 11, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

One thing I have been able to do is create a parent mailing group in my address book. It was a little time consuming and not all parents have e-mail (but a surprising percentage given our demographics), but it was very worth it in the long run.

I found taking this first step towards the parents as a group allowed me to start with ALL the parents on a positive note. This created a (mostly) affable relationship for the whole year.

By luvs2teach

July 11, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

Wow - really good stuff so far…

Like WFC, I have been on both sides of the fence. I expect my parents to do for their children what I do for mine - read all home-school communications to keep informed on what’s happening at school and with their children, check our online grading system or at least look at the progress reports and report cards, make sure their kids are well-rested and fed, make sure they are doing their homework, and that they are prepared for class. Most of all, I want them to ask their kids the hard questions (like ‘why did my child fail this test?’) instead of asking me (as catlady said). In return, I will do my best to make my classroom a place their child wants to be and be successful in - it’s what I would want a teacher to do for my kids.

Ninety percent of the time it works well.

Ernest - I am a huge fan of rubrics, and I always check my kids when they have a project - it guarantees success. I wish all parents would do the same - nothing I hate more than explaining to parents why their child got less than an ‘A’ when what I docked points for was clearly spelled out. Happens, though.

catlady & SallyB - so true about parents of other cultures - one of the things I love most about my school is how international it is, and the refreshing element of respect the international parents brings. I love it. And I, in turn, respect them and their children even more.

jim d - excellents points we all should keep in mind. My elementary had a parent-teacher-student contract that we all signed at the start of the school year. I kept ours on the fridge. I think it was helpful in alleviating some misperceptions each year.

HST2 - my county has an online system parents can check (for MS/HS), but not a weekly e-mail system. We are expected to update it weekly and I have found some of the same problems like parents wanting test grades posted the same day or explanations for low grades. Luckily there is a way for me to comment, so I might put in “retest scheduled for xxx date” or “currently grading” so parents know. I like that parents are on top of it though, and, while I rarely make mistakes, I am human (especially when inputting grades at one in the morning) and it’s good for mistakes to be caught early.

jeff - good luck in your new job!

iteachlit - according to my school secretary, yes, the gift cards are going to be issued again - and they are supposed to have a longer usage period this year.

Gwinnett Educator - e-mail is both a blessing and a curse, lol. I liked the weekly progress reports I got (Friday Folders, anyone?) in elementary - that’s impractical in MS/HS though. Likeiteachlit said, if I need to update online grades weekly, then parents should check them weekly - nip problems in the bud early). My son and I have that habit - Sunday nights - that way he can fix any probelms come Monday, whether the problem is his or the teachers (85% his - 15% teachers, usually). My county libraries have free internet use so parents could go there if they don’t have a computer at home - and let’s face it, most of our kids wouldn’t be hurt by a littel extra library time.

WFC - I agree with everything you wrote, from both sides of the chalk!

I guess that’s about it - Happy Friday, everyone!

By thomas

July 11, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

I think most teachers and parents are reasonable when it comes to expectations regarding student behavior, homework, assignments, etc.

I think what the problem many schools have encountered over the past few years is the increase in the number of parents who refuse to do the simplest things in order to help their children succeed. For example, parents who will not sign an daily agenda. First of all, my personal and professional opinion is that an agenda is BS. Having students write down their homework in a notebook is one thing. That is for their benefit. Having an “agenda” that requires a parent signature is another. The “agenda” came about because of parent complaints that they weren’t being notified about their children’s progress/assignments in school. Now we have a tool to “keep parents informed” and some parents refuse to use it.

We have more tools now to keep parents informed about their children THAN IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICA!!! WE HAVE MORE RESOURCES FOR EDUCATION NOW, THAN IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICA!!!! Yet people have more excuses now than ever before.

Persoanlly I believe ALL the probelsm stem from the fact that many Americans really don’t give a d_mn about education or schools, period. Not one d. The problem is that the bar has been raised. The requirements for school are more intensive now. The curriculums of school are jammed pack now. There is more going on. Parents may have to be more involved now. It’s not enough to send their kids to school everyday. Students need to study and work at home, too.

Also I think twenty+ years of poison and propaganda against public schools have taken it’s toll. Americans, the excuse making people we are, have taken some bad press (most of which are lies anyway) and used that as an excuse not to follow the rules of the schools. Used it as excuse to blame the teacher, other students, principal, AP, counselors, bus drivers, cafeteria workers, janitors, school board members, God, Jesus, the sun, and everybody on Pluto for why they and their children are not doing what they are supposed to do.

By Tony

July 11, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

Communication has been a problem since Adam and Eve. In human relations, it should be obvious that each party to a discussion approaches the discussion with a different viewpoint. There are some teachers that do not communicate well and there are some parents that do not communicate well.

Frequently, I end up in the middle of these circumstances and try to bring consensus to the discussion. In my school, I expect the teachers to send home a newsletter at least twice per month. The letter should contain information about upcoming events, curriculum, and assignments. It should also provide a report of recent accomplishments.

We use an agenda system throughout our school. Notes, questions, reading logs, homework lists, and many other details are easily recorded here. From 2nd grade up, we expect the students to write the homework list after the teacher has written it on the board. I can not tell you how many times parents have demanded that the teacher write the list for their child because they want 100% assurance it is accurate.

Some parents refuse to sign the child’s agenda then arrive at the school to complain they are not informed. It is amazing the number of times the parent and I have thumbed through the agenda to see all the notes and homework lists right there.

It is not only parents. Some teachers do not always fulfill their responsibilities in a timely manner. I deal with that! We are professionals and I expect professional behavior. That means we will take care of our responsibilities or corrective action will be taken.

In these changing times for schools, it is even more important for parents and teachers to work together. jim d has pointed out that the parent should be the number one advocate for the child. Indeed, the teacher should also be the number one advocate as well. When the two are at odds, it usually turns out they both have the same end goal in mind - a good education. Parents, sometimes you will have to advocate for the teacher if you want your child to have the very best learning opportunities.

For more about this topic, please refer to this article and this article.

By luvs2teach

July 11, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

A thought cam to me, and it’s actually appropriate for either yesterday’s or today’s blog: It’s not about what you do as much as it’s about the message that you send.

By iteachlit

July 11, 2008 12:14 PM | Link to this

catlady- The area we are in is one in which almost all homes have computers with internet access. There is no excuse here for parents not to use the tool supplied. I also supply my students with a grade sheet to record their own grades when they received graded papers from me. I have many parents who say, “What grade sheet?” I try to continue to put the responsibility on the students to keep their parents informed.

luvs2teach- Thanks for the info! I am so grateful for this money for my classroom!

In addition to posting grades, we are also required to post future tests, projects, etc. to show in Parent Connect. I hate doing that, but it does let parents know more about what is going on. Not all kids will copy things into the agenda, and I refuse to check 100 agendas daily to see if they have. If kids are required to have their agenda signed by me for SST or IEP then I have to do it, but I refuse to do it because somebody’s mommy wants it done. We are enabling kids in so many ways to be irresponsible. The parents in my area are extremely demanding of the teachers, but don’t want to hold their kids accountable for anything. It scares me that someday these kids will be running this country. Lord help us all.

By livininatl

July 11, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

What I appreciate from a teacher is an updated website of the weeks activities, and the teachers rules and expectations of us and my child at the start of the year so I can make sure we are doing what we need to do and reinforcing their expectations at home.

If a situation does come up I expect the teacher to be available for a conference. We have been so fortunate to have INCREDIBLE teachers that are available to us via email, conferences and have always had the teachers and principles cell phone and home numbers, but rarely have had to use them.

Our child is an A student, if we see the graded work coming home and it is not consistent with his normal work we will talk to our son and the teacher to see what is going on and if there is anything we can do on our end, but generally the teacher beats us to the punch and will write a note explaining that they had something going on that week and not to worry.

By TheBlogger

July 11, 2008 5:07 PM | Link to this

This is a MAJOR pet peeve of mine.

ALL students get regular report cards - usually every three weeks or so. These report cards include academic grades and behavior grades (with comments sometimes). Parents know this. It is not a secret.

However, as a high school teacher, I regularly meet with parents that claim never to have seen the report card.

Is this the teacher’s fault? Is this the school’s fault? I know that the student gets it. I know that the parent is aware of it.

The disconnect is solely between the parent and their child. It has nothing to do with the teacher or school. Yet, the parent sits there in front of me and is angry at me for not informing them? Am I to personally drive to their home address and place the report card in their hand?

The problem is a home problem. Lack of communication between the parent and the child. Schools cannot fix all of societies problems.

By catlady

July 11, 2008 5:24 PM | Link to this

To follow up on the Blogger: years ago we had a teacher who was soundly disliked (I disliked him too; he had no business working with kids). The parents complained loudly about how they never knew till report card time how their student was doing (these were 5th graders). I also had their children for another class, yet there were few complaints about not knowing about their child’s work in my class. The difference, as I could see it (my daughter was in his class, too) was that many of the students would not take home their graded work from his class, perhaps due to their low grades and the browbeating comments he made). I pointed out, however, to the complaining parents that as long as he gave their student’s work back, it was up to the student to take it home. Novel idea, huh? Up to the parent to DEMAND to see it, and follow up. What a great idea!

The rule at my house: I want to see your good grades. I HAVE to see your bad ones.

I predict that many of the parents who expect daily notices will have a tough time when their kid hits 18 and because of FERPA, the parents no longer have access to the records UNLESS THE KID GIVES PERMISSION.

By TheBlogger

July 11, 2008 5:24 PM | Link to this

What do I “expect” from parents? Here is a partial list:

By simon

July 11, 2008 6:58 PM | Link to this

My kids go to the system that uses the Parent Connect. I don’t like it, and I rarely look at it. I think they also send parents warning when kids get low grades. My wife gets those e-mails and she checks Parents Connect.

I realize we are expecting kids to be responsible, but I don’t know if HS kids were ever responsible (on average).

Anyway, as a parent, I don’t even know if my kids are getting regular grade reports (like every 3 weeks as someone else said). I think the communication of what is being sent home would be nice (and maybe a reminder or two from time to time). I know teachers are busy, but so are parents, and all of us forget things sometimes.

By catlady

July 11, 2008 9:29 PM | Link to this

Simon, check out your kids’ student handbooks for info on when grade reports go home,etc. In our county, parents have to sign and return a paper that says they have received it at the beginning of the year.

If your kids are not responsible enough to keep you informed about what is going on at school, PLEASE don’t let them drive, or DATE :)

By TheBlogger

July 11, 2008 10:16 PM | Link to this

Simon It is hard for me to believe that you are a parent and don’t even know how often the school gives out report cards. That is just unbelievable to me. It isn’t a secret. It is in every school handbook, every school website, and at the very least you could pick up a phone and call the school to ask.

So very many parents are just ‘hands off’ and let their kids run amuck. And, a lot of these same parents buy their kids cars, computers, cell phones, and so on. When the kids do act like kids and are not responsible, too many parents want to blame the teachers, the school, or anyone else - it is THEIR FAULT for not being responsible parents.

If you are too busy to be responsible parents DON’T HAVE KIDS!

By iteachlit

July 12, 2008 8:23 AM | Link to this

Simon—They are YOUR kids!! Step up to the plate and BE THE PARENT!

By catlady

July 12, 2008 9:00 AM | Link to this

Simon MUST be a troll, and we just trip trapped over his bridge.

By catlady

July 12, 2008 9:03 AM | Link to this

Simon MUST be a troll, and we just trip trapped over his bridge.

On the other hand, I have seen lots of simon-like parents, especially in the last 15 years! So he is a believeable troll.

By Lee

July 12, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this

My expectations are simple:

• I expect a competent professional as a teacher.

• I expect the administration and teachers to provide a safe, orderly school environment conducive to facilitating the learning experience.

• I expect an appropriate level of instruction for my child.

There. It’s really that simple. Is that so hard?

Apparently so since I feel compelled to send my child to private school.

By Old School

July 12, 2008 5:32 PM | Link to this

Dear Lee, could you also expect your child to accept the responsibility for his/her own learning? All the information can be laid out there using all the most effective methods by the best ever teacher in the highest achieving school led by the most outstanding administration BUT if a student doesn’t do his or her part, well…

Other than expectations for the child, I agree with you. (I’m a 34 year veteran CTAE instructor with two very successful adult kids who graduated from a very South Georgia public school system by the way.)

By Lee

July 12, 2008 10:17 PM | Link to this

Old School, my expectations for my children are simple as well.

• Academics take priority - before athletics, extra curricular activities, hanging out with friends, or after school jobs.

• I expect them to put forth their best effort. When we placed the youngest in private school, we saw her grades drop from high A’s to B’s. Didn’t bother me because I saw how hard she was working.

My job is also simple. I am my child’s primary advocate and it is my responsibility to monitor the process and take action when needed. This includes my child’s activity as well as that of the school.

By cj

July 12, 2008 11:27 PM | Link to this

Is it really a reasonable expectation that a parent should have a teacher’s home and cell number? I truly believe that there is a time and place to contact a teacher, and calling him/her at home is not one of them. I don’t feel that not giving a parent my home and cell number is not being available. I have my own family, and they deserve my time at home. My school’s policy on e-mail and phone messages is they must be returned within 24 hours. We send home weekly folders with all graded and completed work, progress reports after 4 weeks, and report cards every nine weeks. That’s in addition to registration day where you get all of the beginning of the year information and curriculum night where we explain our grading system and procedures. Of course, many of the parents who complain that the school doesn’t communicate with them enough are the same ones who can’t be bothered to show up for any of those events. I had a parent one time who complained in a conference with the administration and me that she was sure her child’s grades were poor because he wasn’t able to complete his homework. HOWEVER, in our grade, homework is not a part of a student’s grade. I check it and correct it, but I don’t take a grade on it. I gently told this woman that as we had explained on curriculum night, homework is not graded. She really had no response after that since neither she nor her husband had attended curriculum night.

By love my 4 kids

July 13, 2008 3:17 AM | Link to this

What are my expectations? Well, the greatest teacher set the standard:

“For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:15

It will always stick in my mind that there was one teacher at Columbine who followed Christ’s example.

By thomas

July 13, 2008 5:35 PM | Link to this

CJ,

The scenario you described happens in school everyday. In all honesty, many parents really don’t want to be involved with their children’s education. But they want the rewards from the hard work that is needed to earn “A’s”. It is from here we get the excuses and lies.

It is happened to me so many times. A parent throws up one lie or excuse to try to discredit you (or the school) and you knock it back down with truth and logic. Then it’s another lie and another excuse. After they can’t use any more of those, then it’s the “well, I’ve tried to work with Johnny. We’ve had this problem before, last year with Ms. So-So. I work two jobs, blah, blah, blah. Maybe his dad can do something with him, blah, blah, blah.”

The pattern is so predictable. No matter where you go, it’s all the same.

By catlady

July 14, 2008 8:03 AM | Link to this

thomas, I LOL when a parent tells me they did not know something (after they have told me their child does not lie) and then I show them their signature on the student agenda parent notification page. Sometimes, it is actually the parent’s signature. Sometimes, it is little Johnny’s attempt at the parent’s signature. At any rate, the conference takes a turn at that point….

By catlady

July 14, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

True story about parent expectations for the teacher: a child at our school, fifth grader, perfect (according to her father) in every way, complained to her parents that she was not being allowed to go to the bathroom when she needed to. Father came in to “set the school straight.” Teachers of the girl explained she was asking to leave the room repeatedly during instruction. Dad did not believe it (her teachers were liars, just like they had been each year in school); he demanded that she be allowed to go at any time. He claimed the doctor said she had to be allowed to go. So the school instituted a sign out sheet for her, to keep track of her whereabouts. She was leaving to “go” 6-8 times per 50 minute period, with her longest inseat stretch of 5-8 minutes. She would be gone 3-5 minutes at a time. Her grades continued to be poor, whereupon Dad came in to demand to know why. When shown the sign out logs (showing she was getting less than 25 minutes in class in 50 minutes), he DEMANDED that the school discontinue the sign out sheets because they were “communist” and because the other kids did not have to sign out (the other kids were not a problem)! Fortunately, the principal stood her ground, and told him the sign out sheets would be kept next year for the middle school, so that they could see that she had had the problem before. (Frequently parents claim that the child has NEVER had that problem; that it must be due to something that teacher is doing.)

While parent (and teacher) expectations are generally sensible, sometimes they can be quite incredible.

By luvs2teach

July 14, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this

catlady - maybe dad should’ve homeschooled so that she’d have the comfort of her own bathroom anytime she wanted. :-)

Wow - avoidance issues, anyone? Maybe she realized she couldn’t live up to dad’s image of her as being perfect - maybe she knew that dad would side with her “medical issues” but not with her grades.

I hope he has fun when she’s 23 and still living at home - fired from her job at McD’s for being a slacker. We reap what we sow.

By catlady

July 14, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

luvs, actually they did home school her for part of a year because they got so mad at the school for not catering to her. They also had her in private school but found it would not cater to her either. Then we got her—3 years of h3ll for those unlucky enough to teach her. She wasn’t an unpleasant child, but her parents (she was a change of life baby) have some real problems with reality. Can’t wait to see how the middle school handles him!

By catlady

July 14, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

Luvs, BTW, parents said she did not have the problem at home (dr could not explain it); it was only at school that she HAD to go. Too bad her dad could not have seen her in action—she would walk out of the room, look up and down the hall, walk into the bathroom, walk back out 15 seconds later, look up and down the hall, wash her hands for at least a minute, dry them reflectively, look up and down the hall, get a drink, look again, get a drink, walk slowly back to the classroom, stare up and down the hall, and go in. I saw her do this from time to time as I passed down her hall.

Her parents even expected her teachers to call her by her pet name (which I thought was one demeaning to her—something similar to Precious Baby) instead of her real name. The teachers at our school refused.

By catlady

July 14, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

One other thing. Her academic failings were our fault too, although her dad DEMANDED (and our earlier principal caved in) that she be placed in a reading group 3 levels higher than she was ready for because he did not think her 3rd grade reading teacher was sufficiently nurturing for her (would not call her Precious Baby, expected her to bring her stuff to class, pay attention ,etc).

By the end of 5th grade she was in the next to the bottom reading group again.

By thomas

July 14, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

Catlady, oh stop it!!! “Precious Baby?” Boy, you can’t make up stories like this.

The schools we work in.