Get Schooled

By wwww

April 29, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Gifts from parents make me uncomfortable. If a parent wants to show gratitude, wonderful - send your child to school well rested, respectful of others, ready to learn and do his or her best work. Don’t make excuses for him or her when they don’t or be indifferent to an obvious problem - work with us to help your child be a success.
THAT would truly be the best gift a teacher could ever hope to recieve!

By Steve

April 29, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Gifts from parents are always considered nice but I think unnecessary and somewhat inappropriate. Teacher Professional Standards (PSC) suggests that teachers not accept gifts out of the fear that a gift may cause undo influence on a student’s grade.

By luvs2teach

April 29, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

When my kids were in elementary, I always bought a book for the classroom library at Christmas and the end of the year. We signed the book and put the year in it. By middle school, my kids didn’t want to give gifts anymore so I didn’t buy them - as a middle school teacher, I’m surprised (but pleased of course) when they do.

Other than that, the biggest gift we gave was to my son’s 2nd/3rd grade teacher - she looped up with them, and after two years, most of the parents felt a pretty strong connection. We put in to give her a full day at Spa Sydell - she deserved it - she was wonderful!

By JustMe

April 29, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Yes, I have gotten big money gifts - but they made me feel very uncomfortable. I once got a $100 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble. I get these mostly AFTER the grades come out, and so there is no way they could be considered a ‘bribe.’

The best gifts are the sincere notes hand written by students that share how they enjoyed my class and learned a lot. I have gotten a number of these and I save them - for those days that I need something to remind me why I got into teaching to begin with.

By Teacher, Too

April 29, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

JM- I have a folder like yours- I call it my praise folder. When I’ve struggled through a difficult day, I pull out those praise notes from the kids and reread them. I always feel better afterwards.

While gifts are always a nice thought, I much prefer to receive those praise notes/letters. They mean so much more because they come directly from the heart.

It’s almost time to start counting down the days!

By B Teacher

April 29, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

It is okay to give a teacher a gift at the end of the year if you wish. However, the gift should be required to be sent to the teachers home address and not given to the teacher at school. One should think about the students who do not have gifts for the teacher. May not be able to pay for them or parents just do not think of it or want to. Also, to a child sometimes having to give a small gift compared to others can hurt worse than no gift at all. Give a gift but sent it to the teachers home adddress.

By Lynn

April 29, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this

Last night in my son’s take home folder I received a flyer about Teacher Appreciation Week. There is a specific gift listed for every day of the week - MOnday is an apple, Tuesday is flowers, Wednesday is candy, etc… I was SHOCKED. I know this came from the room mom, however I found this really offensive. I dislike being TOLD what to buy for a teacher, and feel no obligation to send in a gift every day for a week. She is a fantastic teacher, has done an excellent job, and has received verbal and written praise from me many times. I volunteer when I can, my husband and I take time off to attend special occasions (plays, holiday party) and we monitor our son’s work and behavior constantly. This is all for our kindergarten son.

I’m a high school SPED teacher. (on my lunch break). My gifts this year have been accusations of being racist (I’m white but I supposedly treat the black kids better). Called mean, nasty, unprofessional, and racist by the parent of a child who feels free to tell me to get the H out of her face almost daily. Not even a SPED student with behavior issues, just a spoiled girl with an attitude. And that’s just this week!

I’ve also received hugs, verbal thank you’s, appreciative emails from parents, and thank you letters from athletes and their coaches. One girl who’s mom runs a catering business brought me a beatiful fruit salad and pastry plate. I shared the food with some kids and saved the lovely note.

I wonder why elementary teachers receive so much “appreciation” when HS teachers receive virtually none. Little kids are more likely to behave, sweeter, with more involved parents. HS kids are a whole ‘nother ball game.

I just dislike the forced feeling of this gift giving on the lower grades level.

By jmom

April 29, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this

I think gift is a way to say thank you. Even if a few parents get together and buy a gift card for a dinner out. It is just a nice way of saying thank you for taking care of my child and helping them be successful.

By Stacey

April 29, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this

We were told at the last PTA meeting to expect flyers outlining the gifts for Teacher Appreciation Week but I haven’t received it. The PTA President said that they are trying to be mindful that it is a Title 1 school and not all families have the same financial capabilities. Last year they had a different theme each day such as fruit, flowers, cards, etc. My son’s teacher said she was just as happy with the little yellow dandilions that some kids picked as she was about the store bought bouquets. I bought a card for my son to take for card day (he was in Kindergarten then) but he only wanted to give the one that he made in ASP. His teacher said she loved the handmade cards because not only were they sincere, but they practiced some of what they learned in her class such as spelling and penmanship.

By grammar police

April 29, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

Whose: possessive. I don’t know whose ball that is.

Who’s: contraction for “who is.” Who’s going to the park with me?

sigh

Apostrophe use: teacher’s home address. Not teachers. If you are referring to more than one teacher, it is “teachers’ home addresses”. Plural possessive.

sigh again

By lyncoln

April 29, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

When I was in elementary school the gift I gave every year was a freshly cut flower or two from my mother’s flower beds when the first bloom came up in the spring. It was always my mother’s decision and she was the one doing the cutting, but I think it was a nice gift. I would think something homemade or similar would carry more meaning than specified ‘teacher appreciation week’ gifts recommended from a flyer.

By DB

April 29, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

In elementary school, I would usually give the team teachers passes to a movie theatre in their area for Christmas, with a note that said, “Relax over your break!”. When the number of teachers started increasing, they started getting small bags homemade fudge that my daughter made as a gift. In high school, my daughter makes a small treat basket for a couple of favorite teachers for the holidays. We don’t give end of the year gifts — most teachers have mugs and apple-themed stuff coming out of their ears. I remember the year that my mom had a kid in her class who’s mother was an Avon rep — she must have made a deal with the rest of the parents in that class, because for Christmas, my mother received one of EACH of every Avon fragrance, in both soap and stick perfume! (PS: she HATES perfume!) It was hilarious! Well-meant, but we still giggle over it!

I think, with the high school teachers, it becomes more of a sense of how invested the child feels in the class and the teacher. In elementary school, they have them pretty much all day. In high school, you have ‘em for 45 minutes, max (more if you’re on block).

By K

April 29, 2008 3:37 PM | Link to this

I gave my daughter’s teacher a generous monetary gift at Christmastime. That was before I realized she didn’t deserve it! She is the most apathetic, uncommunicative, distant teacher my daughter has had in all her schooling. I have half a mind to ask her to give the gift back!

By Teacher

April 29, 2008 3:37 PM | Link to this

The best gift I received was last year. A parent wrote my principal to brag what a wonderful teacher I was and how much her daughter loved my class. She CC’d me on the email. I was so honored.

By imatapper

April 29, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

Grammar Police - I think I love you!

Back to topic. When the kids were young I baked their teachers some sort of bread each Christmas. I don’t like shopping anyway, so shoot me now if I’m expected to buy an “end of school” gift for someone I barely know . We also used to cut flowers when they were in bloom for gift giving. When my daughter got to middle school she thought we had to buy every teacher gifts at Christmas and end of year. (She saw those “certain” kids with the fancy packages for each teacher.) I told her we could bake bread or get a giftcard for a bookstore for teachers she appreciated. I wasn’t buying gifts for 8 people, twice a year. She really didn’t care for any teacher, so there you go. Her last year of high school she absolutely loved one of her teachers - an older, politically incorrect, humorous gentleman. He got gifts (in addition to her hard work) all year long from her — things that she had at home, but knew he would appreciate. We bought him a bookstore giftcard at the end of the year because she knew he was a big reader, and she didn’t want to get him a book he already had. Of course, we made sure he could also use the card on-line, in case he was a “mall-avoider”. My son has rarely thought to give a gift so we don’t. I let his good grades and good behavior (he recently received “good kid” recognition at his high school)be his gifts to his teachers. I never thought it was appropriate getting flyers stating that in addition to gifts for teachers,”gifts” of money were also being collected for staff, cafeteria workers, and custodians.

By jim d

April 29, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

OK, so now we are expected to hand out a gratuity to teachers? I thought they wanted to be treated as professionals and I’ll be damned if I can think of another professional I’m expected to tip. So in response to the question; not no but hell no!

On second thought, for any teachers expecting a tip here’s the best I can do for you—-Get a different job!

By jk

April 29, 2008 4:43 PM | Link to this

Seems the parents in my kid’s first grade class don’t think the way most parents do on this blog. For Valentine’s Day for example, my daughter got so much STUFF-an entire backpack full. Pencils, 7 pieces of candy in a gift bag with lace, odds and ends stuff, etc. A card and piece of candy aren’t enough anymore, it has to be an entire goodie bag full of STUFF from each child. I let her bring a vday card, and two hershey kisses to each child for her class. Her class held a vote for who gave the simplest valentine in class and everyone voted for my daughter. She said she was embarassed, and wants to bring much more next year. I think it’s just rediculous to go overboard like that for a little holiday that’s not as “big” as Christmas. It’s like these parents in her class are having an unspoken contest to prove who can bring the most lavish gifts or who can prove that they can afford it. This same stuff happened at Christmas. Most everyone brought the teacher a large, expensive gift. My daughter made her a hand made card. It’s all just out of hand. And I refuse to buy her teacher a lavish gift just to conform with everyone else, or just to prove something. I’ll probably just get her a $10 starbucks card, and thats the most I’ve spent all year.

By Stacey

April 29, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

Teachers: Do you actually eat the homemade baked goods that your students bring in for you. My aunt is a teacher and she said she never eats the treats that her students give her unless they are sealed and never eats anything homemade.

I remember how hurt I was in elementary school when I found that my teacher had thrown away a slice of cake that I brought for her, saucer and all. Now that I’m older, I can understand her not eating it but I think the least she could have done was return the clean plate the next day and pretend she ate it.

By N Fulton Mom

April 29, 2008 5:07 PM | Link to this

At my daughter’s elementary school, we collect a voluntary donation of $1-10 for a class gift at Christmas time and at the end of the year. Every child’s name goes on the gift, whether his/her parents donated or not.

By thomas

April 29, 2008 5:20 PM | Link to this

I have worked in four different elementary schools— all in different socioeconomic areas. The only places where teachers get gifts are middle class elementary schools. Every once in a while somebody in middle school will get something.

Almost all the gifts I got were mugs or picture frames that said “teachers have the write stuff” or “world’s greatest teacher.” At one point, I had a special bag just for those teacher themed trinkets. I would recycle those gifts- give them away to other teachers. One time, somebody give me my own gift back.

But the things that meant the most were the homemade cards and notes. They had more meaning than some junk (i.e. “Math Teachers Really Count” mug) bought by the parents.

By jmom

April 29, 2008 5:28 PM | Link to this

A small gift is appropriate. Think of it this way, at least in the elementary grades, your child’s teacher has given your child many gifts (20-24 students at $1.00-$2.00 per student). So we are talking $20-$50 for each of season of giving: Christmas, Valentine, Easter/Spring and probably and end of the year gift. Or the gifts the teacher helps your child create for you for Christmas/Mothers day/etc. This is all on top of the prize box gifts, or other special treats the teacher brings in for special rewards or incentives. Don’t you think a little something extra would be appropriate?

This is in addition to the great gift of learning the teacher is giving your child for the wages she is paid.

By catlady

April 29, 2008 7:30 PM | Link to this

Over the last 20 years I have seen gift giving for all teachers take a real nosedive at my school. I don’t know anyone who minds at all. We, however, are still expected to buy, buy, buy for our students, plus supply holiday gifts for those whose parents are unable/unwilling to buy a $3 gift for exchange. About 8 years ago I completely stopped that because it had become such a financial drain (in addition to paper, pencils, and many other out of pocket expenses—averaging several hundred dollars a year.) I still bring special snacks for the kids, especially at holidays and during CRCT—good stuff like citrus, dried fruit, and nuts, for example.

I don’t know any teachers who “expect” gifts. I love it when my kids write me spontaneous notes. I also have my “prozac” folder where I keep gracious notes from parents to pull out and read, as needed. The first one dates back to the 1973-4 school year! Kind words are always appreciated. I also write my kids notes when they leave the school (after 5th grade) and I campus mail them notes when I see their pics in the paper for achievement or sports (I live in a small town with a very supportive weekly paper.)

I also treasure other moments, not captured on paper: seeing “my kids” (25 years removed) lined up to vote, for example, or looking around the room at those who are now teachers, or walking with their children in the park. They invariably come up to show their families off, and what a joy that is for me!

Admittedly, I have never taught in an upper-income school, so I had no clue about things bloggers have discussed earlier.

By Cranium

April 29, 2008 7:31 PM | Link to this

I accept gifts from parents in the spirit in which they were intended. I spend hundreds of dollars per year on your children out of my own pocket. That includes: 1. Buying supplies for your child after the first box of crayons or only bottle of glue you send in August runs out. 2. Replacement games for the classroom after your child breaks and destroys mine. 3. Buying junk for the treasure chest because your child actually followed the rules this week, and I’m supposed to reward expected behavior. 4. Buying spare clothes and underwear at garage sales because you are too lazy to send me a change of clothing for your child (even though I have asked for one a dozen times this year). 5. The wonderful Mother’s Day gifts that I am obligated to send home or you get completely offended. (Sorry, Dads - having your day in June is to blame for your lack of gift!) 6. And finally, the small gift that I give out for the holidays and at the end of the year to each child (unless their religion prohibits it, then I get to hug them and dry their tears as I try to explain why Mom and/or Dad doesn’t allow you to have a gift, sorry.) YES - these are my expenses for doing a job that I truly love. I’m not looking for return gifts, but why refuse them? Some parents prefer to express their gratitude in a material way.

By catlady

April 29, 2008 8:09 PM | Link to this

What did I do as a parent? Generally, little gifts to each child’s teachers through 8th grade, along with a note. In high school, just notes, unless the child was determined to give a little gift to a very special mentor. I also encouraged my children to write their own notes, and they have actually followed up with notes to special teachers years AFTER graduation as well. THOSE are the ones that teachers especially treasure, IMHO.

By OldSchool

April 29, 2008 8:17 PM | Link to this

I received a wonderful gift today. Our professional teachers’ organization sponsors an “Honor Graduate/Honored Teacher” banquet each year. This morning, one of my students asked me to be his Honored Teacher. Later in the day, another student came in and told me that he and several of his honor grad friends had gotten together and decided to spread the honor around because several wanted to ask the same teacher. I am so proud of them. I’ve been honored over the years and have seen some teachers with 2 or even 3 students. That these top students wanted to honor as many teachers as possible speaks volumes to me and humbles me as well.

I’ve been given other gifts through the years but today was a real treasure.

By luvs2teach

April 29, 2008 8:56 PM | Link to this

Old School - congratulations - that is a wonderful testament to the job you do everyday :-)

By grammar police II

April 29, 2008 9:53 PM | Link to this

Undo Undue

Two different words; two different meanings.

By fer

April 29, 2008 10:09 PM | Link to this

When I was teaching I always appreciated a card (bought or homemade) with a personalized note from the student and/or parent. I also loved the random flower from the yard or just about my all-time favorite: a grapefruit! (I was teaching in south FL at the time.)

By carrie

April 29, 2008 11:39 PM | Link to this

“OK, so now we are expected to hand out a gratuity to teachers? I thought they wanted to be treated as professionals and I’ll be damned if I can think of another professional I’m expected to tip. So in response to the question; not no but hell no!

On second thought, for any teachers expecting a tip here’s the best I can do for you—-Get a different job!”

jim d, I’m a little confused. I’ll admit, I am a teacher, so I get confused easily, but I’m sure you’ll help me out. Where exactly did you read that teachers are asking for a gratuity? Can you please point me to that post? Most of the posts I read said the best gifts teachers had received were simple notes of appreciation. I’m sure that anybody in any profession enjoys being appreciated for the hard work they do, wouldn’t you agree?

BTW, I do appreciate any gifts my children give me, but I certainly don’t look down on any kids who don’t give anything. I certainly didn’t decide to be a teacher so I could get every variety of bath sets ever made. :)

By A Visa Moment Gift

April 30, 2008 1:13 AM | Link to this

Gifts from students.

An apple $1

A coffee mug $5

A gift card $10

A hand made card that says Thank you for being my teacher. You are the first white person I ever liked.

Priceless

By Noelle

April 30, 2008 1:28 AM | Link to this

When my daughter was in elementary school and middle school she always asked to get her teachers’ Christmas gifts and I did. Now that she is in High School she doesn’t so I don’t. I have always felt uncomfortable giving gifts because I never wanted a teacher to think I was trying to buy favor. I always volunteer and make sure all of her teachers know I fully support them.

I don’t see anything wrong with giving a teacher a small gift daily for five days. It can be something for $1. The bottom line is there are some very good teachers out there and teaching is not an easy job. I admire those teachers who are in it beccause they love teaching - it’s not a job I could ever do. I did substitute teaching for a year and I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t imagine putting up with someone’s disrespectful kids everyday. Thanks to all you educators out there.

By WFC

April 30, 2008 6:54 AM | Link to this

Great gifts received by this retired HS teacher:

• a picture of two AP girls “reading” their AP US history text while sunbathing on Spring break at Destin. I laughed for ten minutes!

• six cuban cigars… student’s dad bought in Mexico

• countless Mardi Gras beads

• a student produced oil painting map of the Soviet Union

• a joke cane with a mirror at the bottom (I’m handicappped)

• a pregnant Barbie doll

• a KGB t-shirt (I was a Russian studies major in college)

They all made me laugh!

By jim d

April 30, 2008 7:16 AM | Link to this

carrie,

there are several posts above indicating lists sent home re;specific gifts, being asked for—granted not by the teachers.

Here’s the thing, I’ve shocked a few teachers this year by sending in countless reams of paper and boxes of pencils. For anyone to expect me to do more than that is a bit pompus in my opinon.

It is further my opinon, that if someone wants to work for tips they need to get a job at their local Hooters, not the schools. However, I will say that if any of my childs teachers want to meet for a cold beverage, I’d be more than happy to buy a round (of course it would have to be at my local Hooters)

By V for Vendetta

April 30, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

JimD,

There are many jobs out there that bestow bonuses on their employees for a job well done. I don’t see too much of a difference here, although I’m just playing devil’s advocate. I don’t want, need or expect gifts.

I agree with what others have said: the best gift a teacher can get is a note thanking the teacher for a job well done. Those kind of notes are great, and justify everything negative a teacher has to put up with.

We don’t need extra gifts, JimD. I mean, after all, we get summers off!

:-)

By high school teacher

April 30, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

Dang it jimd, you got me - I’m in it for the coffee mugs.

The best gift I ever received was a framed picture of my two yearbook editors when they graduated from high school. They graduated 10 years ago (and three schools ago for me), but that picture is still displayed in my classroom.

Last year my son’s elementary school had a 50’s dress-up day. His teacher had someone take a picture of of him with her, both of them all dolled up in their 50’s attire, and sent it to me via email. I printed the picture, framed it in a cute little frame purchased at Wal Mart, and gave it to her as an end of year gift. She cried when we gave it to her. Pictures are awesome, and it cost me all of $4.

By jim d

April 30, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

OK, OK, I’ll admit to giving a few gifts “this year”.

Mailed graduation announcements, pictures, invitations etc. out yesterday. Included on the list were several teachers from past years that we have stayed in close contact with even though they had moved on, mostly k-4.

See!!! I really am an old softy too!

By teach1

April 30, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

We knew it jim d. Just an old (sorry about the “old”) softy. At least you made me smile today!

By jim d

April 30, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

teach 1,

bet you ain’t as sorry about it (“old”) as I am.

By Cheryl McTasire

May 2, 2008 7:13 PM | Link to this

The only reason children and teenagers give gifts are as bribes. Bribes for better grades, bribes for attention, bribes for favor. They’re fiendish little demons, all of them! In my opinion, we should’nt even have teachers. Children should be made to grow up in specialized colonies until they are ready to join a civilized society. Stupid children ruin life. Let’s see some form of population control, people!