Get Schooled

By Ernest

October 2, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this

This is a nice ‘change of pace’ Oldschool! Early in my career, I taught our customer how to use our software product. Things were especially interesting as we moved from ‘green screen’ to the current ‘point and click’ environment. I’ll never forget the class in which I told a student to point her mouse at a particular area on her screen and she literally did that, picked up her mouse and began moving it around in the air. I think those that sat around her got a big kick out of seeing how I would handle the situation. In a job like this, you definitely learn empathy early on. That experience helped me to be more descriptive when giving instructions on how to use a computer, almost like calling a baseball game and painting a vivid picture.

By wwww

October 2, 2007 9:59 AM | Link to this

Oh, do I ever agree. There is sooo much emphasis on testing and data that no matter what the school, we are all pushed to teach to the test. There is no room anymore for anything “fun”, and no, I don’t mean parties on Friday afternoon or free days. I mean doing things that are meaningful that, gasp, are not spelled out for us in the standards. You know, it IS possible that very important learning occurs outside of the tested material. Crazy thought these days, but true. I hope I stick this out long enough to see things swing the other way, and maybe even stay in the middle for awhile!

By V for Vendetta

October 2, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

Here here Oldschool!

Little things often get a smile out of me. I enjoy going over a complicated grammar lesson — the use of colons, hyphens, etc. — only to see them appear ad nauseam in their next paper. Accompanied, of course, by a satisfied grin, like they are masters of the grammar universe.

When that happens, I can’t even be angry with them. Even the ones who are dumb as bricks are too funny to be irritating!

By Old School

October 2, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this

Boy, Ernest! Your post brought back many more memories! I’ve even had my students write out drawings step by step, swap their “verbal designs” with another student who would then try to create the correct solution from just the written instructions. This is actually quite entertaining when they use AutoCAD. Really teaches them that a “picture is worth one thousand words” and that details matter!

I love teaching technical sketching. The first thing they do is sketch an object from just my verbal description. Armadillo, aardvark, hippopotamus, even a chair make excellent examples. The results are hilarious! Of course, the description must use terms related to drafting or geometry and no hint of animal, vegetable, or mineral is used.

By jim d

October 2, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

Lighter side? OK,

Autum 1965—Someone pulling the fire alarm while the guys were in showers after gym class. Since it wasn’t a sheduled drill, coach made everyone go out with only a towel.

Looking back —that was pretty damn funny —30 guys standing in the snow with only a towel while the entire school looked on.

By HS Teacher Too

October 2, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

A few years ago now, I moved from Georgia to New Hampshire. As part of my teaching duties, I monitored a study hall. Well, the kids were fascinated by someone from so far away as Georgia, and one senior boy started to tell me that the parents of one of his friends had recently retired to Georgia. He couldn’t remember the town name, but he was absolutely determined to figure it out. After asking him if he thought it was near Atlanta, I asked him if he thought they were near the ocean.

“Georgia has ocean?” “Well, yes, it’s got coastline.” “Really? I don’t know anything about Georgia.” “It was one of the original thirteen colonies, you know.” “You mean the ones on the right?”

I tried so hard not to laugh … until his friends laughed at him for me.

By HB

October 2, 2007 1:37 PM | Link to this

HST2, I had a similar experience with a 4-year-old I taught in New England. She wanted to know why I talked funny, so I explained that I was from GA and spoke with a different accent than people in RI. For the rest of the day, she peppered me with questions like “Do children eat cereal for breakfast where you come from?” and “Do they sing Wheels on the Bus?”

By Jeff

October 2, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this

Hey, even MY abortive teaching career had its lighter moments!

The group of girls that would bring their lunch to my class to eat (they were with me that period anyway). They just wanted to talk to a guy that was old enough to be out of the HS scene so that they could get some advice on how to handle things or talk about things that most teachers wouldn’t touch. (I didn’t cross any real lines - cut it before it got into anything that could seriously get me in trouble.) Stuff like politics, sexuality (one was bi), just typical HS female things that I was the only teacher they felt comfortable around. (‘Course, it turned out that one was INTERESTED in me…. didn’t find that out until after I had already left Randolph though, and these girls were at Newton. On a sad note, one of them died on me while I was at Randolph. I found out through my myspace connections with the kids on the day of her funeral, so I didn’t get to go.)

One of the HS boys taking a pic of me and him behind my desk on my last day because I was his favorite teacher and I was heading out.

One of my seniors - the very one who stood across from my desk and threatened me - was also probably one of my single most favorite students to teach.

There were even a few kids at Randolph. The one truly psycho kid that for some reason became attached to me and I was one of the very few people in the county that could work with him. It truly pained me to send him to the AS, but his behavior merited it and I knew that it could help him as much as my time in one had helped me.

The several other kids that could be such a pain in the TAIL, but were also extremely sweet and cool. (A couple in particular would ALWAYS say hi to me when they saw me in town - even when I wasn’t in such a great mood or barely presentable!)

It’s like I told my former principal in an email yesterday: I still love the people of Randolph. I continue to fight for change for their sake. And I always will.

Y’all, honestly: When it comes to Randoloph, the only thing I truly hate is Bobby Jenkins. The people there suffer under him and don’t know any better, so they NEED a champion like me to fight for them. They deserve FAR better than they have.

On a side note: Of the 10 regular teachers from last year at RCMS, only 4 are still there. Even my team lead, who was one of Jenkins’ most vocal supporters, is gone.

As is Jenkins’ daughter.

By Ernest

October 2, 2007 2:12 PM | Link to this

I also recall a funny situation a colleague encountered. He was teaching at a manufacturing plant. They were using a conference room for the class. It got warm with the computers in the room thus some of the students asked if he could turn on the big floor fan at the front of the room. There were a couple of young ladies sitting in the front with dresses on. You can imagine what happened when he turned on the fan, which coincidentally was pointing in their direction. He said it was a ‘Marilyn Monroe’ moment that he will never forget. Thankfully, the ladies were good sports and had a good laugh also.

By Seasoned Teacher

October 2, 2007 2:28 PM | Link to this

Finally….a topic that does not sadden or distress me! Once, while teaching a unit on Technology advances in the home, I referred to my mother’s first microwave. It was huge, took up lots of counterspace and it was very low wattage. Microwaves were a “new toy” and we didn’t use them for very much except to heat up leftovers. One, very sincere, concerned student looked at me and exclaimed,”Mrs.M How did you eat?” This was the student that did not know how to boil water on a stove top.

Once, after doing a unit on Safety and Sanitation in the Kitchen my students were tasked with washing dishes that had been stored over the summer. The noises coming out of one of the lab units just didn’t sound right to me. So I investigated. The students were squirting dishsoap on each dish and wiping it under running water. When I asked why they didn’t use the stopper and draw a sink of hot water they held up the sink stopper, pointed to it and said, “MrsM! It won’t hold water! It has holes in it!”

Twenty seven years, five in Fulton county and the rest way down here in southeast Georgia teaching our most valuable resource—our teenagers. I have a few years left. I read this blog during my lunch time just for fun. Old School, you always make me smile because I remember most of the events that you reference espcially in regards to CTAE education. I also agree with you.

It saddens me to read the entries from those of you who have had bad experiences in the classroom. Please remember all of us have had challenges that we have had to find ways to overcome. There are lots of teachers who stay in the classroom because we love the interaction with the kids, regardless of the politics going on around us. Like any job, teaching is 99% attitude, ours and theirs. My day is what I choose to make it and for 27 years I have choosen to be positive and love my students regardless of whether they love me or not. I plan to continue making a difference in the lives of my students and my community for another 3 or 4 years or 5 or 6 or…..as a friend of mine once said, “I am a teacher…Bring It On!”

By HS Teacher Too

October 2, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this

HB, I love it! You might have really confused her if you said, “no, we eat grits!”

By Jeff

October 2, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

Seasoned:

I doubt most teachers have had to experience the HADES I did with a Superintendent personally gunning for you.

Though I’ve recently discovered something that applies to the Randolph situation, and I’ve already forwarded it to my former principal.

I may very well write a guest blog on it and how it applies to education…

the topic? “The Set-up To Fail Syndrome”

By Old School

October 2, 2007 3:34 PM | Link to this

Ahhh! Grits! I was in 7th grade when we moved here from Birmingham (I’m a native Arkansan by the way). As I took my turn going down the line, the lunchlady asked me if I would like some grits (It was Friday and the usual menu was fried mullet, grits, and hushpuppies). Having been raised eating rice like Georgians eat grits and having no clue as to what the heck she was refering to, I replied, “I’ll try just one, please.”

Another food moment: The lunchladies made these amazing peanut butter ball shaped candy/cookies and I really, really wanted the recipe so my mom could make them. I begged and cajoled until finally one of the ladies handed me a copy as I came through the line. The ingredient list started with “75 boxes of cornflakes…”

By HB

October 2, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

Actually, HST2, I did tell her that we ate cereal sometimes if Mom was too rushed to cook grits. That did indeed confuse her, and I think I just made matters worse when I tried to explain they’re kind of like oatmeal, but smaller and not sweet and best with a Kraft processed cheese slice torn up and dropped into them.

By thomas

October 2, 2007 5:10 PM | Link to this

Who’s thinks that people on the blog are negative? Sure, we have a few old sourpusses, but that’s nothing compared to the people out in the real world.

By catlady

October 2, 2007 5:14 PM | Link to this

My favorite parent moment from 34 years: I was teaching kindergarten. We had sent home a list asking for supplies (kleenex, napkins, paper cups, etc.) This mother STORMED into the room, SLAMMED down a box of Kotex, and huffed, “I would think you teachers could buy these for yourselves!”

Favorite student moment: one of my students was hanging around where the teachers were talking during recess. Trying to get her to move on before she heard something repeatable, I told her to “go play. We are talking grown-up talk.” Whereupon, wide-eyed, she said, “You mean you are talking in cursive?”

By catlady

October 2, 2007 5:23 PM | Link to this

Then the child who called matches “magics” and another who was getting his “six year motors” in the back of his mouth.

Another, who, at the age of 8 or 9, asked me, “There really isn’t any such person as Santa Claus, is there?” To which I replied, “No, not exactly in the way you have been thinking about him.” He studied for a moment, and then asked, “Does this also apply to the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy?”

By OldSchool

October 2, 2007 6:31 PM | Link to this

When our oldest daughter was in kindergarten, she was eager to participate in every activity that came along. One afternoon she bounded into the house all excited about the new playground equipment she had learned to use that day. “Mama! We did the wh**es on the ladders today!” I managed to get my jaw back up off the floor and figure out she was talking about the HORIZONTAL ladders and not ladies of the evening!

My husband left for school one day so nicely dressed I made a point to compliment him. That afternoon he returned home wearing ill-fitting, highwater corduroys, a shirt that matched nothing in nature, and the worst pair of beatup running shoes I’d ever seen. His explanation: While on morning bus duty, a tiny first grader had come up to him and began, “Mr. K, I don’t feel so…barf” all over him. He scooped up the little one and took her inside to her teacher. The principal was headed to town anyway so he brought back some clothes he grabbed out of his laundry. My good natured hubby cleaned himself up, changed into the borrowed duds and completed his day. THAT’s dedication!

By luvs2teach

October 2, 2007 7:41 PM | Link to this

Wow - OldSchool - this was great, and just what I needed…I’ve been so busy that I never get to read the blogs ‘til late at night or on the weekends, so no posting for me :-(

Today was the day from Hades, as Jeff likes to say, and I needed the laugh, badly. I loved catlady’s kotex story - too funny…and the “horizontal ladders” made me laugh out loud.

My stories tend to do more with the stupid things I do or say so here goes…

Remember - I teach 8th and just about anything can sound sexual to them. So one day, while I was going over science lab safety rules, I talked about not tasting things to identify them. We discussed the safety of the materials we might use in class, and how isopropyl alcohol is not like the alcohol in beer, and that it’s not safe to drink or put in your mouth. This led to mouthwash. So I explain that mouth wash is a little different and I say, “Just because you put something in your mouth, it doesn’t mean you should swallow.” Well, after a very long pause, then class absolutely burst out with nervous laughter.

That was funny, but my best was when I was doing an activity modeling moon phases with styrofoam spheres, and I loudly directed the class with “Everyone grab your balls.”

By OldSchool

October 2, 2007 8:36 PM | Link to this

luvs2teach, your moon activity was the best one yet!

I always dreaded open house/PTA at my daughters’ school (where hubby also taught) because I never knew what I was going to hear from their teachers. I never got a “Doing well” or a “Needs a little help.” It seems every teacher had a story to tell. The 5th grade teacher told me about mentioning alcohol being bad for you and my daughter’s hand going up. “Are you talking about good alcohol or bad alcohol?” was her question. The teacher asked what she meant. “Well, good alcohol is like beer and wine and bad alcohol is like gin and rum and vodka.” This was also the daughter who asked the teacher if cockroaches were considered family pets.

The youngest had her moments too. Her third grade teacher noticed she had not eaten anything on her lunch tray (a notorious picky eater) so being hungry, the teacher took a few of ignored tater tots and ate them. Gales of laughter broke out among the classmates and one carefully explained the hilarity. “She licked off all the salt.”

By catlady

October 2, 2007 8:42 PM | Link to this

Years ago, a precious five year old came running breathlessly up to me on the playground to tell me the boys were chasing her. “Why would they do that?” I asked. Her answer: because they think I am wearing a bra!

By catlady

October 2, 2007 8:48 PM | Link to this

Most embarassing moment (so far): My class was in charge of the spook house at the Carnival. My parents were game. One dad agreed to be the mummy. His wife wrapped him up over his clothes with gauze, and all was going well until “half time” when we took a break. Then it was apparent that his costume needed some adjustment. No wife to be found. I gamely knelt in front of him and was trying to adjust the gauze in a discreet manner. At that point my principal walked in, and seeing me on my knees trying to cover the man’s groin area with gauze, the principal all but SCREAMED MY NAME, which caused everyone to look!

By catlady

October 2, 2007 8:54 PM | Link to this

And, from the “ya never know file”: my daughter, a first grader, would cry and beg to stay home on Friday. I was mystified, until she explained that on Friday a special teacher came in during Math and worked with the students on Estimation. My daughter was apparently lousy at estimating, and she cried all year, every Friday. Sometimes on Thursday nights as well.

Fast forward eighteen years, and this same child graduated from college with a dual BA in astrophysics and MATH. Go figure, huh? (She still doesn’t like estimation—she wants the EXACT answer, which is probably good given her area of interest.) We never know what seeds we are planting…..

By Joy in Teaching

October 3, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

Some years ago, I was helping a group of high school students get costumed and make-uped for the senior class play.

While they were supposedly in the restrooms getting their costumes on, I went to my room to get a notebook. I opened the door, turned on the lights, and there on my desk, was the senior class president (and star of the play) dancing and singing on top of my desk in his tighty whities, black socks, and black sunglasses.

He froze.

I froze.

I turned the lights off, backed out quietly, and never said a word about it to anyone. I did crack up for weeks afterward, though, every time I saw the boy, who never quite looked me in the eye again.

Still do. (He’s doing well in medical school, by the way.)

By Old School

October 3, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

One of the nicest/strangest things to happen to me was the day I got rolled out from behind my desk (all while still seated in my chair) into the parking lot by a student. He opened his car trunk, reached in and presented me with a single red rose. Without a word he returned to class leaving me speechless and still sitting in the parking lot.