By Jeff

June 19, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this

Haven’t had to deal with this - yet. Here’s how I feel though: I appreciate the thought, but there are more important things to spend your money on than me. If you insist on getting me something, get something that can benefit my class and donate it to me through the school. If you don’t want to do that, bring me some food. I’ll more than likely be living on Ramen and frozen dinners after the move South, and some differnt things would be nice…

By Jeff

June 19, 2006 12:06 PM | Link to this

Oh, and that situation in the post is just ICKY!!!!! If I EVER find out one of my parents is doing that, I am going to have a STRONG talk with them!!!

By teach

June 19, 2006 12:49 PM | Link to this

I work at an urban school. Most of my children are too poor to afford a gift. If they make me card, I’m thrilled beyond words! I’ve been given a few “gifts” like coffe mugs, but the things I keep with me are the cards and little toys they made me. Those honestly mean so much more to me. I would never want my parent to take up a collection for a gift. I’ve been on the receiving end of pressure from other teachers to buy endless baby shower and birthday gifts for teachers. I loathe and despise their pressure to give and dark looks if I don’t. So I would never want anyone to put any pressure on anyone to buy me a gift. It just wouldn’t mean anything. I’d always rather have a homemade card from a child that tells me I’m the best teacher ever. When I’m feeling horrible about teaching, all I have to do is look over at that little note and know its worth it. No gift card will ever have that effect! Not that I wouldn’t mind a raise now and again.

By Shocked

June 19, 2006 01:04 PM | Link to this

I agree with teach. Make me a nice card that costs nothing. Continue to speak and hug me in the halls. Follow the rules. Ask questions in class and show me you really appreciate the time I have devoted to the lesson plan. I am there for the kids and expect no gifts. If I were to receive such a pricy gift card and later found out a parent twisted arms I would be insulted beyond measure. The biggest gift I get is getting to spend time with the kids. Even the most challenging kids can become lovable. This gift is far beyond anything money can buy. I love my job. Granted, it pays only pennies but the love I receive more than makes up the difference.

By SNY

June 19, 2006 01:12 PM | Link to this

I ran into this problem this year and the sad part about it is that I didn’t like my kids teacher. How do you handle that situation? I can’t get help with lunch and my kid only eats because some other bill has to wait another week, but I am suppose to give $15 to someone I don’t like. Yeah right. It didn’t happen and all the kids in my daughters class knew that she was the only student whose parent didn’t give to the teacher. She was mad at me for almost a week. That’s the part I thought was the most crappy.

By Jeff

June 19, 2006 01:14 PM | Link to this

Amen Shocked and Teacher…

By newly retired

June 19, 2006 01:17 PM | Link to this

One of the teachers I worked with mentioned a similar thing happening at her daughter’s school. That’s not a problem at my last school. We struggled to get parents to send in refreshments for the holiday party. When the PTA tries to do Teacher Appreciation Week they send out a note that sets aside a special thing for each day that week. When it says “Bring your teacher a piece of candy”, that’s what you get. A piece of candy, and you’re lucky if it is a wrapped piece. I believe that gifts for teachers should be discouraged from the administration. Take the pressure off the kids so they don’t have to come up to you at Christmas or the end of the year. I hate it when a child comes to me and says, “I wanted to get you a gift but,” Like “teach” said, the meaningful gifts are notes from the heart. I most especially appreciated the ones from parents. They always made up for the tirades from the other parents who could only find fault.

By Robert

June 19, 2006 01:21 PM | Link to this

IMHO, this is something where “intent” must be derrived. Let me explain….

A student has a 79 average and brings a gift to me that is extravagent and also is a week before the final exam. I would interpret this “intent” to be paramount to a bribe. If this same student brought me the gift after the grades were posted, then I would not intrepret this “intent” to be a bribe.

Students/parents may wish to give teachers gifts. We should not assume that they are all for the wrong reasons. I have accepted $50 gift certificates from parents whose child “aced” my class thinking that this was their way of thanking me for my hard work with their child.

In a world where I am as guilty as the next person for being too cynical, we should not assume the worst.

That being said, I just don’t think that I would accept any gift beyond $100. That is just my personal limit. Please keep in mind that I teach in a school whose parents are very affluent (doctors, lawyers, professors, etc.).

By Robert

June 19, 2006 01:24 PM | Link to this

Here is a question for those of you that think that gifts to teachers should be discouraged…. What do you think of the “secret” parent group at Lakeside High that provides a $1000 check to teachers that “magically” appear on the teachers desk at the end of the school year. Should this also be discouraged?

By lt

June 19, 2006 01:28 PM | Link to this

from the other perspective, that of the parent, and one who has raised 3 children all the way through public school…and who originally, back in 1970, actually got a “teaching degree” but didn’t feel capable at 22 of teaching a bunch of 15 year olds… at any rate…

class mom is wrong to assume the mantle of dictating not only the amount that “each should [voluntarily of course] donate” but think about it — she is going to also decide WHAT is given? Now I know “gift cards” are the thing today, but i was taught that “the thought was the most important part of the gift, and that giving money shows little thought” [unless of course you know that there IS a need for cash on the part of the recipient] — i also know both as a teacher and as a parent that both the child [who participated in finding/making a special little gift] and the teacher [who received that little bit of thoughtfulness] were part of a special moment more meaningful than any gift card

second, the tactics of class mom are offensive on so many levels that i won’t even grace them with words. suffice it to say, perhaps my best defense, if i’d been the mother of a classmate of her child, would be to insist from day one that either she NOT be allowed to be class mom, or that my child be transferred to another class, because guerilla tactics, intimidation, and holier-than-thou sanctimonious “begging” do not impress me. $1 per student…. MAYbe… $20? my child will be happy to find his own gift to give the teacher, thank you very much.

sorry…i had to deal with too many of those over the course of 3 boys’ educational paths…

and as a teacher, the most meaningful gift ever given is a simple “thank you teacher” from a student who suddenly realized they had learned something

By apple

June 19, 2006 01:31 PM | Link to this

As a teacher, I agree with y’all that collecting money for a gift for the teach is not only not necessary but inappropriate. However, I know that high school coaches [who are teachers who receive a supplement for coaching]…who coach football, basketball, and/or baseball where the community is affluent..especially if they have a winning season,…receive outrageous gifts at the end of the year….it’s not unusual for them to receive a cruise or expensive trip.

By lt

June 19, 2006 01:34 PM | Link to this

i actually like the “secret” gifts at the years’ end, with no reference to who may or may not have contributed. for one person, $5 may be a huge amount to contribute…for another, $100 might seem like a mere pittance…

and good points, Robert …

i would think, if parents want to show appreciation for what a teacher has done for THEIR little bundle of joy, the most absolutely appropriate gift would be a gift to the teacher, as s/he said… via the school, specifically targetted for that teacher’s use in his/her classroom the coming year. What better way to say thank you for teaching MY child than to say “here… maybe this will help with someone else’s child next year”

in fact, having put that into words, i plan on making a donation to my son’s band teacher for a small scholarship to band camp for another needy student, now that mine has graduated. i should have done it last year!

By sobegape

June 19, 2006 01:36 PM | Link to this

As a parent, I applaud the teachers who have responded so far. I admire the fact that ‘the little things’ are what mean so much to you…much the same way most parents feel about anything their child/children do for them.
On to the question at hand… I think asking for $20 right off the bat turned many of the parents away. Just because you (the initiator) can afford to give that amount does not mean every parent can. So the parents who cannot spare that amount immediately feel like they have been left out.

By lt

June 19, 2006 01:52 PM | Link to this

and apple…those should be no more appropriate or accepted than our representatives taking such things from constituents… if you want your teachers in your community to have more money, RAISE THEIR SALARIES [or work in your community to raise awareness of such need] …

coaches, like any other teacher, should be held accountable [alas, too often they are not]

By SET

June 19, 2006 01:53 PM | Link to this

You can no more have teachers taking expensive gifts from the students’ families than Judges and Prosecutors taking expensive gifts from defendants and victims. Even if it’s not a bribe or a payoff the practice threatens the integrity and reputation of the school and the profession.

School policy should allow for token gifts only if that, and set “token” at the value of a box of See’s Candy. No restaurant meals, no jewelery other than handmade of little intrinsic value. Token gifts only. Suggestions to use cards, letters, handmade or hand written items.

Now having said that I would love to see teachers having a scrapbook of letters from students about how their time together helped them break through to their reach college, or do well in a difficult major, or find their best vocation. Those notes and letters are the finest gift a teacher can carry into retirement.

Makes you proud when your students end up making more money than you do.

By SET

June 19, 2006 01:57 PM | Link to this

I don’t have a problem with parents giving school supplies to the class or related gift cards at Office Depot as long as it’s clear these are things to be directly used by all the kid or by the school classes at large. Ditto equipment. Yes there is a bit of a conflict when a wealthy parent helps out the entire school or class and his or her kid has to get graded.

But you can’t run a school without books, paper and pens and I’d rather the teacher not be expected to subsidize the place with personal funds.

By ellen

June 19, 2006 01:59 PM | Link to this

There are several public (and many private) schools where at registration you are basically given a bill — on it is an amount that goes for your teacher (on in some case the whole school’s staff and faculty) gifts, amount for class parties, etc. I had a friend who was room mom at one of these elementary schools and she would get so frustrated when people would subtract what they didn’t want to give. (This school had 0 percent free and reduced and the average home price in the neighborhood was arond half a million.)

Anyway, I love group gifts. We always write a personal note to the teacher, but I want to give more. Many room moms at our school send a letter asking for voluntary contributions for either holiday gifts or end of the year gifts or both. We get no where near 100 percent participation, but the kids are never made aware of who does and doesn’t participate.

Because we don’t have everyone participate, the amounts aren’t overwhelming and shouldn’t make anyone uncomfortable.

By SNY

June 19, 2006 02:00 PM | Link to this

I don’t get it, I don’t receive a gift at the end of the year from my job or from the people that I work with. I work in accounting and the purchasing department doesn’t come and thank me for doing my job correctly. Why do teachers need/want to thanked for doing what we pay them to do in the first place? The parents who can afford to do these things should just do them. Don’t expect others to follow in your footsteps because you feel that they should. Others of us have big responsibilities than buying a teacher a burberry bag or a cruise or even a stapler for that matter.

The teachers send out a materials needed list every August. That is how we know what is needed in the class. Good teachers even send a note home throughout the year letting us know what supplies need to be replenished. Parents who care enough will send in the tissue or pencils or whatever else they need. Don’t ask me for any more money than that.

By ellen

June 19, 2006 02:03 PM | Link to this

I need to add that an amount is NEVER specified in these letters and the letter is only sent once. I think it is horrific to expect parents to contribute a certain amount, we often have parents who send in only a couple of dollars.

Also, for our teacher appreciation week, most years, the kids make cards and signs for their teachers and PTA encourages parents to send in notes.

By MMM

June 19, 2006 02:12 PM | Link to this

I wonder what you all think of this?

Our charter school underpays teachers in order to survive financially. We have many good, highly committeed teachers that often dip into their own pockets for supplies for the refugee kids. My daughter’s teacher—who I know quite well—complained to me one day about the inadequacy of the school’s library. She said that she had been going to the Dekalb library to check things out for the refugee kids to borrow and had run up a significant fine. She said she was presently too broke to pay it and wouldn’t be able to get any more books until she did.

The next time I was at the library, I asked them and they allowed me to pay the fine (about $60). This was after school let out for the summer—so there was no question of grade t** for tat. I am much more financially stable than the young-still going to school teacher is. Was this appropriate?

By lynn d

June 19, 2006 02:13 PM | Link to this

SNY,

I am a parent not a teacher, but from my perspective I think the teacher needs to be rewarded. (I should also say that it is easier to do in elementary school, when the student basically only has one teacher. I find it much harder now that I have a child in middle school although one of the parents did take up a collection this year.) I also don’t think teachers expect anything.

On many days, the teacher sees my child awake as many hours as I do (and I stay home — if I was working, the teacher would most likely see my chld more hours.) While the teacher receives a salary, she gets no bonuses for comforting my child if he/she is upset, cleaning up after him/her is they get sick at school, praising them for a job well done and so much more.

At the elementary school, my children have been blessed with teachers who we have adored and been pleased with. Just like I give the person who cuts my hair a present at Christmas (usually an extra tip), I want to recognize my child’s teacher.

Very often, I am asked to contibute to a group gift — I do it gladly and willingly. But our solicitation is never as aggressive as described by Patti.

By lt

June 19, 2006 02:13 PM | Link to this

hmmmm no “fancy restaurant meals” i can see… but i ALSO regret the loss of the time when a family would invite the teacher — and his/her family if married — over for dinner … “school” topics were off limits, it was a “get to know you as people” time … and no one thought more or less of anyone for it … generally helped the teacher’s budget stretch, helped the parents be more interested in being involved… and wasn’t considered any sort of bribery or snobbery … those who can do it, do, those who can’t find another avenue of expressing gratitude to the teacher for his/her efforts!

sometimes simpler IS better!

By Cletus Snow

June 19, 2006 03:19 PM | Link to this

My daughter is a middle school teacher if I thought she was trying to brow beat the parents into an expensive gift,I would go over to her house and use a fly flip tonight.If I had ever recieved one of the blackmail letters I would take it to the next school board meeting.A gift is something I choose to give,its value is my choice,its existance is my choice.The two or three month vacation is thier gift from the taxpayers. While we’re on the teacher subject,I can’t help but ask for a gift from the teachers,Please stop molesting our children,if your not doing it,great, if you suspect another teacher, tell someone

By Scott Elliott

June 19, 2006 03:21 PM | Link to this

Interesting viewpoints here on this question of giving teachers gifts. I always do give teacher gifts. Even so, I can see why the Get Schooled reader cited in the post feels uncomfortable about giving. Find my advice for that situation here:

www.daytondailynews.com/getonthebus

By Taxpayer

June 19, 2006 03:29 PM | Link to this

Gifts for teachers? Of course. Contribute to a group gift? Yes. Is $20 too much to ask from each family? Yes. Should follow-ups and reminders be sent if families don’t contribute? No.

Some of these hooty tooty moms should get a clue and realize that not everyone in a particular school has three cars and a lake house. And a gift card from Sephora? Please. How about a gift card that can be used anywhere, for anything? Not everyone wants to blow $50 on face cream.

I’ve done these group gifts for years now, and I find that if I send home a polite letter asking for donations of ANY amount, people are very willing to contribute generously. Those who find it difficult to contribute can just ignore the letter. Some people choose to give their own gifts. I always include a few sentences in the letter about writing the teacher a note of appreciation, regardless of what parents choose to give or can give.

It’s a GIFT. It should be given voluntarily and with gladness and received in the same way. Shaming people into doing something is just plain wrong, and I know that no one would want to receive a gift that had generated ill will and controversy in its planning and creation.

By Surveyor

June 19, 2006 03:32 PM | Link to this

I’m not a teacher, but on more than one occasion I have given demonstrations of surveying methods and equipment at schools (elementary through high school). I still keep a bunch of thank you cards from the kids. Money cannot buy the warm glow that comes with reading the heartfelt emotion of those young children. Teachers deserve more (monetarily) than they get, but gifts should be from the heart and not coerced.

By hs sped

June 19, 2006 03:38 PM | Link to this

As both a teacher and a parent I feel that a small gift is appropriate. I never participate in the group gift. I let my children make, or choose, their own gift for the teacher. One year my daughter wanted to get her 2nd grade teacher thong underwear! We didn’t go there. I teach high school and seldom get gifts, but, once in a while, a parent will send something at the end of the year and it is usually because I went above and beyond with their child and they want to thank me for doing so. I’ve never received an extravagant gift and hope I never do. Another thing…I often wonder about the donations for the group gift and if they are actually used for a teacher present, or not. I have sent name-brand candy to the room mothers before (at their request) but never saw it in any goody bags that were given at school. I will assume it made it home to the room mothers’ houses and filled their candy dishes at Christmas time. Unless I’m going to be provided with a record of expenditures, don’t ask me for money.

By suz

June 19, 2006 03:46 PM | Link to this

A gift card to office supply stores will NEVER be turned down!!!!

By suz

June 19, 2006 03:48 PM | Link to this

Hey, I’m a HS teacher and I would love to have parents give me pencils and paper for their kids, since their kids never have them when they get to class!!!! Office supply gift cards will be gladly accepted!!!!!

By Cammi

June 19, 2006 04:06 PM | Link to this

I not only give my daughter’s teachers gifts ON THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL, but I also donate to the entire school throughout the year whatever I can. My daughter is in elementary school, so I never need to buy a year end gift for more than 2 teachers. I appreciate the time and patience that the teachers give to my daughter, whom admittedly can be a handful at times. Whether it be donating my time, money or material things, I feel it makes a better learning environment for the school as a whole.

By jim d

June 19, 2006 04:24 PM | Link to this

While I must admit I’ve given a few gifts, and contributed towards a few over the years. I think the one most appreciated by any teacher I’ve known was simply a heartfelt “Thank you, for a job well done.”

By SET

June 19, 2006 04:29 PM | Link to this

It:

I just remembered my family taking the a Nun when we went on vacations. I for one didn’t consider that a gift. It was a deal between the adults.

On one ski trip the Nun drove the 2nd car with some of the kids in it (to the snow) and got her own room and snapped the whip over our kids and the tag along (same school) kids. The parents got to go out at night without the kids. The Nun got out of the convent and onto the ski slopes (Nun & kids skiied, parents didn’t).

We (the kids) tried to get the Nun to wear her robes on the slopes and she wouldn’t do it. I think we were in 7th grade at the time. This Nun was a Chemist by degree - she was a tremendous intellect and (of course) had eyes in the back of her head and rabbit ears. None of us kids tried to get away with anything.

I don’t know if anyone would think of this arrangement as an improper gift.

Later as we got older and were in High School we tried to get the parents to let us use the vacation house without them. They turned around and arranged for a married couple from the High School faculty go also. Everyone had a good time - and the kids (group from school) went out in the station wagon on our own during the day (subject to curfew at night). But partying at the house wasn’t going to work. The faculty couple had a great weekend I suppose.

Anyone else have teachers go along on family vacations?

By Emily

June 19, 2006 04:55 PM | Link to this

I have one better, the teacher in a friend’s public school solicited the gift for herself directly from the parents right before grading period! That, I thought, was over the top.

Also, if I’m going to be asked for a gift, I actually like seeing a recommended ammount as it’s sometime hard to know what, if you have the resources, would be a good gift.

By Paula

June 19, 2006 05:22 PM | Link to this

I am a preschool teacher with 2 children in school and I rec’d several very nice gifts at the end of this passed year. If I were an accountant or a lawyer, no one would think a thing about getting a year-end bonus or a bonus for a job well done in a particular time period. But, because there is the title of “teacher” there are so many different opinions involved. Here is a hint: if you do not want to contribute to a community gift….DON’T. If you are feeling pressure, just tell the person doing the pressuring that you will handle the gift situation on your own. End of discussion. If you have a problem telling another parent no, that is your problem, not the other parent. Yes, a homemade gift is nice, no gift is fine too. Remember the point of a gift is to simply give of yourself to another person. That is very broad and should always be appreciated. The PTA should also not tell people how to appreciate the teachers. Lots of jobs out there go day in a day out without the first day of appreciation, everyone shows up and does their job and goes home without their feelings getting hurt.

By Leia

June 19, 2006 05:23 PM | Link to this

High school teachers rarely get “gifts” from the parents, but, it’s not uncommon for students to give you giftcards to the places they work!

The craziest thing I heard at my school was the parents who gave my colleague 2 plane tickets to anywhere in the continental U.S. after “Johnny” magically passed senior math!

By Me

June 19, 2006 05:38 PM | Link to this

Two letters go home to students at my children’s’ school from the room parent. At the beginning of the year we ask for a $5 donation for the two class parties we have, one before Winter Break and one at the end of the year. Teacher’s gift letter is then sent around the end of April or beginning of May asking for voluntary donations for a “group gift” and request $5. It also notes that every student will sign a card of thanks whether the child sent in a donation or not. If you want to participate, simple, participate. If you don’t, then don’t.

If your child gets mad at you for not donating try being a parent to them and stop moaning about how you don’t like her teacher, her school, the school system and who ever else you are blaming today and talk to her about maybe making something for her teacher from her, not you.

I personally, like to participate with group gifts. It’s one less thing a (active) parent at school has to think about doing. I usually know the teacher very well by the end of the year, so I know what they like to do in their spare time. If I’m not the room parent for the class, I can usually let the room parent know what would be a good choice for that teacher.

I usually donate $20 for the class parties and $20 for the teacher’s gift knowing that some can’t make a donation. That is my choice.

By Kage

June 19, 2006 06:09 PM | Link to this

I agree with the other teachers who posted that a letter of thanks is the most special gift to receive. I received two this year that I will always remember. I also received more coffee cups, candles, and angel decorations. I almost hate to receive these. I appreciate the thought, but my parents are not affluent and I hate to see them spend money on things that I won’t use. A letter or a card made by the child is truly the best gift.

If you still want to give, then a gift card to Office Depot or Barnes & Noble is fantastic. I don’t know a teacher who wouldn’t appreciate that. And you can rest assured that it will go back to the classroom. Gift cards to other places are dicey, since you don’t know if that’s a place the teacher shops. I wouldn’t know what to do with a large amount of $ at Sephora. Food & Drink (eg Panera & Starbucks) also make good gift certs.

I’m curious what other people think about the other side - the teacher being obligated to give gifts to the students. I am so excited that I will not be a homeroom teacher next year because I will not be on the hook for the holiday and end of year gifts that are expected! Not only do I feel that I have to provide the kids with a holiday gift, but I am responsible for making sure they have one to give to their parents. Because a number of kids’ parents are separated, I tend to make sure the kids have two gifts to take home. This really adds up at holiday time. I know that every school is not like this, but I know that mine is not the only one either. Thank God I won’t have a homeroom next year!

By penguinmom

June 19, 2006 06:28 PM | Link to this

My main problem with the story is the suggested amount. As a class mom, you don’t know how much anyone else can afford and suggesting an amount makes a lot of people uncomfortable. I had a similar situation in a homeschooling coop where the parent in charge suggested each family give a gift of a certain amount based on the number of weeks the class had been in session. It turned out that with 4 classes at 10 students each her suggestion would have meant a gift card of several hundred dollars for the teacher! I loved the teacher but we couldn’t afford to give a huge donation (and I knew others couldn’t also.) I think the size of the gift would have made the teacher uncomfortable also. The mom in charge explained that she gave a amount people were asking for suggestions. While that may be true, I think the suggestion needs to be tempered with a reality check.
I believe the thought of something for the classroom or something personal from the student(s) is a wonderful gift. My mother always enjoyed the little personalized gifts her students gave her.
I never expect gifts from any of my students and hope their parents don’t feel any pressure to give me something. I’m giving my time because I enjoy teaching their kids, not to get something from them.

By Taxpayer

June 19, 2006 06:35 PM | Link to this

Kage, I still treasure every gift that my child MADE for me at school, mostly from construction paper and glitter. I feel very uncomfortable when teachers give my child a gift. I know many teachers don’t make the salaries they should, and most spend hundreds of dollars on classroom supplies. Teachers GIVE to my child every day of the school year. I suggest that if teachers really want to give the kids something, it should be something intangible — reading a special book, giving time outside, etc. Give a memory, an experience. The kids will lose that funny eraser or plastic doodad, but they won’t forget the time you shared a book you loved when you were a kid or spent time playing with them.

By vee

June 19, 2006 07:01 PM | Link to this

In response to Kage. I collect “token” gift items all year long to give to my students. I found a bargin basket yesterdy with .17 pencil sharpeners and packs of pencil grippers. One year I found packs of notebook paper for .20 each. I collect these items and use them as gifts to my kids. (Our school is 80%+ free and reduced so school supplies are rarely sent in.) I can usually get packages of 50 pencil top erasers for a dollar. You’d never believe how much encouragement a .02 eraser and a conversation can give a kid on a bad day. I don’t spend a lot of money on any individual and I’d prefer not to have a lot spent on me. As many others have commented, the handmade cards and gifts mean the most.

By Room Mom

June 19, 2006 07:12 PM | Link to this

Here’s one from a roommom. I do suggest an amount for extra class activities, this money is spent directly on the children, the donation is optional, but I make a budget based on the teacher’s plans at the beginning of the year, divide amongst the number of kids and suggest that amount. I never discuss who sends $$ or how much with any parents or the teacher. This money helps, but it never covers what is actually spent. That’s the cost of being room mom but I enjoy it. As a convenience, I also allow anyone who wants to participate in group gifts to donate whatever amount they want and then I divide the total for Christmas, birthday, teacher appreciation, end of year. The amounts are not excessive (usually $50.00 for Christmas and end of year and something small for others). Some parents chose to do their own thing (more), some do nothing and the gifts are always from the whole class. Most parents appreciate the convenience of this, but there are a few who are critical. Gifts are customary (not required) at our school and the teachers do a lot outside of their job descriptions, so I would honestly rather give a group gift that 20 different$5.00 gifts. Most honest teachers would rather a group gift, even if it were a smaller amount. Also, a group gift from the whole class does not single out any one or two children who may not have brought something. I do think individual gifts given at school should not be allowed. Any recognition should be from the whole class.

By WFC

June 20, 2006 08:14 AM | Link to this

I’m a veteran teacher of thirty years and recently received a great gift! Two of my former students (both now in college) dropped by my house and the gist of the conversation was how much I had helped them prepare for college. PRICELESS!

By oldteacher

June 20, 2006 08:15 AM | Link to this

There is a limit to the gifts that we can accept here in our school system. My favorite gifts have always been the small teacher Christmas ornaments that the kids give me. I use them on my tree every year.

By Bonnie Pratt

June 20, 2006 09:53 AM | Link to this

Although I understand the thinking of the parent that asked for donations (maybe the teacher would rather have a large gift card instead of a box of little useless gifts), she missed the point of giving a gift. I will never forget the “Christmas rock” that my son gave his kindergarten teacher. He painted a rock and covered it with glitter. Then he wrapped it in a paper cup that he also covered with glitter. He got more joy from giving that gift than any gift he has given in his life. He is 18 now. THe teacher told me that she cried when she opened it and I have no doubt that it is still on her desk today. I am a highschool teacher and have gotten many gifts over the years. I got a $200 gift card from a parent and simply told the parent that although I appreciated it, I was not able to accept it. At the end of the year her daughter gave me a framed photograph of she and her classmates performing a lab. What a great gift! The most memorable gift I have ever recieved from a student was a dollar store notepad with a prayer for teachers plastic box. This came from an obstinent student that barely passed my class. I kept working with kid whether he liked it or not. I have had that box on my desk for my entire teaching career and never used one page of the notepad. It reminds me daily of the reason that I am in this career. Another great gift is a note from a student or parent that says “good job and thanks”. Those are treasured by those of us that are in careers that seldom recieve individual recognition.

By diva

June 20, 2006 09:53 AM | Link to this

When I was younger, my grandmother always gave us small gifts to give our teacher. We never had to spend a set amount. It was to show appreciation, like when you give a gift at Christmas to the paperboy or mailman (at least that’s what happened when I was growing up). And I grew up on public assistance. But nevertheless, I still continue that practice with my son. I try to find something that I think his teacher will like and a couple of times, I gave gift certificates. I’ve bought extra supplies for the classroom, too. I think teacher should be recognized. I think that they are underpaid for what is expected of them and what they have to deal with as it relates to the students, parents, and even administration. There is no amount of money to pay them for teaching and protecting our children for 5 to 6 hours each day, five days a week. They are molding them into productive citizens and that says a lot when there are a lot of parents who think it’s the teacher’s job to parent them, too. I agree, that there should not be a set amount because some families may not be able to afford it, but I don’t think it’s anything wrong with giving a group gift if it’s done out of sincerity for true appreciation of all that a teacher has done for the students.

By Sal

June 20, 2006 10:24 AM | Link to this

My daughter will be entering 3rd grade in the fall. So far, she has had excellent teachers (1 year private, 2 years public) and we are truly thankful for their hard work and caring attitudes. Each year my daughter has wanted to give her teachers a particular necklace (same one for all three so far) for Christmas. It is probably more money than we should spend…but I always write a note and explain to the teacher that my daughter chose THIS gift knowing that she would be responsible for 1/2 the cost…and that she worked at extra chores and saved money to buy it. We don’t participate in the group gifts, and as of yet have not been made to feel bad about it. I try to express our thanks to the teachers throughout the year…whether it is a quick email, a card, or simply sending in a big box of goldfish for the kids to share during snack time. I imagine the day will come when my little girl will have a teacher that she doesn’t feel as “connected” to, and then, as now, it will be her choice to join in on a group gift or to come up with something else on her own.

By OldSchool

June 20, 2006 12:49 PM | Link to this

I’m in agreement with an earlier poster. I like a hug, a card or maybe just a heartfelt thank you. We high school teachers don’t usually get gifts (except maybe at Christmas) and I don’t expect them. I do get hugs from former students who stop by to update me on their lives/careers/families. I cannot imagine an end of the year gift, unless it’s the sight of taillights fading in the distance!

But there is one Christmas gift in particular that stands out above all others in my 32 years of teaching. The student was…well…a challenge. On the last day of the first semester, he handed me a small wrapped box and muttered “I got you this.” Inside was the most perfect gift he could have given any of his teachers: a tiny metal CocaCola pillbox and a bottle of Tylenol. I remember him everytime I get another pain…

By EW

June 21, 2006 07:05 PM | Link to this

From a teacher and a parent - gifts are voluntary. As a teacher I gave several of my eighth grade students who I really had a bond with books in relation to what they were interested in.

As a parent, my daughter had an excellent second grade teacher (first year public) I splurged because she did wonders with my daughter this year! Also I see her taking her own private funds on several occasions to buy the kids something or her two student interns a parting gift, when we didnt have the full participation of the class.

So I did it, I bought her a pricey DSW gift card, it was a sacrifice, however I wanted her to do something for HER! She was very much so worth it and if I could have done more I would have.

Nothing should be required, however as a parent and a teacher I feel that if a teacher has went the extra mile for your child a small token of appreciation should be given.

A cheap gift tip, a six pack of water or coke, a bag of microwave popcorn and a $5 Blockbuster card.

They love it!