Get Schooled

By val dumont

March 16, 2006 08:30 AM | Link to this

This is an interesting point to debate. I am an identical twin and I have a set of 9 year old identical twin boys. Since kindergarten my twin sister and I were placed into separate classrooms. I liked it and so did she. It gave us something to compare every day— differences in teachers, type of information we were learning, etc. Also, it lessened competition among us and allowed us to develop independent friendships. Of course girls are a little different from boys when it comes to competition, my twin boys are extremely competitive and I requested that they be put in separate classrooms and all school activities when possible. When they are at home they do exactly as my sister and I did, they compare teachers, what they have learned, etc. It has not really lessened competition but in their case, it has helped to channel it to a more constrctive type and again they have developed independent relationships and are always struggling to keep their individuality. I like the idea and think it is very important for twins to be treated as individuals first and then recognized as a twin, which is seldom the case.

From a Twin with Twins!

By Kage

March 16, 2006 08:39 AM | Link to this

I had a pair of twins in my third grade classroom - briefly. I can understand why parents would want their children placed in the same classroom. They would have the same homework, same list of spelling words to study, the same projects due at the same time.

However, having twins in the same classroom did not work out. Each day there was a squabble about something that stemmed from home - she took my sweater without asking, those are my pencils, she’s not allowed call me that. The disruptions were constant. Luckily, I had an administrator who supported me, noting that it’s bad enough when children bring arguments from the neighborhood into the classroom, never mind from home.

I think that there was a definite benefit to separating the girls. One girl was considerably shyer than her twin. When her twin was moved to a different classroom, she was given a chance to shine. I believe she came out of her shell more than she would have had they remained in the same class.

By Tam

March 16, 2006 09:02 AM | Link to this

I have 5 yo twin boy that will be starting kindergarten in the fall. I want them separate because one twin is very outgoing and bossy and one is ” go with the flow” type child. They need to learn to survive on their one without depending on each other so much. The only problem I have is trying to bounce around between classes… like now with their preschool class.

By SET

March 16, 2006 09:34 AM | Link to this

The family should be accomodated. Not only with the twin issue but in general, siblings must be allowed to go to the same schools if they are otherwise qualified. Spreading family members around to different schools for political or racial mix reasons is an unreasonable imposition on the needs of the family.

Plus the kids may need someone to watch their back.

By Leia

March 16, 2006 09:52 AM | Link to this

SET - I don’t think the issue was about having twins go to separate schools; it was about separated them into different classrooms.

I’ve taught twins who had me in the same class, but, different periods in the day. They enjoyed being apart for that period of time, as each was allowed to “shine” without being one of a set for those 53 minutes. The only complaint I got was that I apparently was more “fun” in 5th period than I was in 1st period!

By V for Vendetta

March 16, 2006 10:01 AM | Link to this

Leia, it may be a classroom issue, but SET’s points are valid. As someone who is married to a twin, I know that in Elementary school she and her sister went to different schools. Eventually they reunited in middle school and high school, but by then had already been absorbed into their own group of friends and had their own lives. They are as different as night and day in many respects, but still similar in some. I know that she would not have had it any other way. I think at the very least parents should be given the option to switch classes, if not schools. Only if both Elem. schools are in the same high school district though. I think it is better for both the kids in the long run.

By Debbie

March 16, 2006 10:54 AM | Link to this

I am an identical twin who has triplets (boys are identical twins and a fraternal girl). I definitely believe that multiples should be placed in separate classrooms. It gives them a chance to become their own person and develop their own identities without constantly being compared to someone else. Of course, that still happens, but hopefully not as much. I know when I was growing up my sister and I were always placed in different classrooms, and because of this we met different people and developed our own friendships that lasted far after school.

And you get a break - who wants to be with the same people ALL the time?? Home AND school??

By CL

March 16, 2006 11:12 AM | Link to this

Well, I am a twin and all throught they have separate us. For that being, to see how the other twin reacts and learn on there own.I was separate from my twin all the way up until high school. But that wasn’t many classes.We might took P.E. together or maybe and one course class. But we manages to get alone very well. So basically,if you want your twins in the same class that is up to you. But that would be nice to see how the twins can get alone.

By Karl

March 16, 2006 11:30 AM | Link to this

I have twin girls and they have always been in seperate classes since day care. I believe it has helped them to develop their own identities. When twins are together they tend to be treated as a set and there is always a dominant one while the shyer one gets supressed. But should this be forced on those who don’t want their twins seperated? I don’t think so. I hold the firm belief that what a parent wants for their child is best for the child unless the child suffers physical of emotional harm. Therefore I think it should be standard procedure to recommend seperating any siblings and even cousins if possible but it should not be law. Each situation is different and we need to get away from zero tolerance (read zero thought) type policies.

By Nicole

March 16, 2006 11:40 AM | Link to this

I am an identical twin and was seperated from my twin 1st grade through the 12th. I think being seperated in elementary school was necessary, but as we matured being in the same class or not made no difference.

By Dixie

March 16, 2006 11:44 AM | Link to this

I have 15 year old twins and I believe that every situation needs to be evaluated individually. My two were in preschool and kindergarten together. They were never very dependent on each other, but were glad to be able to see and touch each other when they wanted to. They were separated arbitrarily in 1st grade and it was a disaster for my son. He was not as socially adept as my daughter, and he really suffered. He had a very rigid teacher who had no understanding of the twin bond. Because he was not a behavior problem, she pretty much ignored him. It didn’t make any difference to her that he didn’t interact with any of the other children. By the time we attended our first conference with her, the damage was done.

We ended up removing them from the school, because we didn’t get the help we needed from the administration. After home schooling the kids for 8 years, we just put them back in 9th grade and they are doing great.

Chris has developed the social skills he needs and Kristen overcame a minor learning disability that was diagnosed once we got her home and realized that she had difficulty reading.

For Kristen, being separated was no big deal, and I’m sure for a lot of twins, that would be the case. But if you have a really sensitive child, that needs to be considered and I believe parents should have some input in the decision on whether to separate twins or not.

Dixie

By Jayde

March 16, 2006 11:49 AM | Link to this

I have identical twin daughters. They are 6 yrs old and in the first grade. I have requested seperate class since Pre-K. Simply because one is dominant and kinda maternal per se than the other and I fear the other would never know her own identity. I don’t run into the problem with different spelling words, projects, etc because all the classes are on the same curriculum. Sometimes the homework is different. If I feel like one homework assignemnt is beneficial to the other I make a copy of it and give it to the other twin.

By ruth

March 16, 2006 11:55 AM | Link to this

I am a twin who was separated from my twin all through school - even lunch periods and study halls. It gave us a subconscious message that it was wrong, somehow, for us to be together. We never did develop a close relationship. I believe parents know their children and their needs more than any scholarly academian. Unless a school views an actual severe problem, I think parents should make the decision, with their children’s input, year-by-year, when to separate and when to place together. Everyone’s needs are different at different times. Absolutism in policy would better be reserved for standards of behavior.

By Denisse

March 16, 2006 12:02 PM | Link to this

I have 8 yr old triplets and from headstart on I have insisted that they be in seperate classes to ensure individuality for all. People tend to refer to them as the babies or the triplets this is why I insisted on seperating them so that they will be individual and not placed into a combined group. Especially since each one has a different strength and weakness from the other.

By Amazed (Independent Woman)

March 16, 2006 12:03 PM | Link to this

Kage and Karl make great points for separating twins. I do think a law is very ridiculous. I can’t believe any school system would send twins or any siblings to different schools. That’s just crazy, unless one is going to a Magnet school by choice.

We are introducing some very ridiculous laws into state governments across the country. The sad thing about is, a lot of people support them and the others don’t know about them until they run into a problem with the law.

Ridiculous school laws:

I’m sure there are more to add to this list, but all of them seem ridiculous and more than capable of being solved within a school system. Why use government hours to legislate common sense?

By Lisa

March 16, 2006 12:04 PM | Link to this

I have a niece and a nephew who are twins. They weren’t separated until high school. My niece is the jock and my nephew is the brains. They both have separate personalities and they both have separate friends. My niece goes to college in Ohio and my nephew goes to college in New York. My niece wants to transfer to my nephew’s college because the separation is too much for her. My nephew isn’t much afftected by the separation.

By SET

March 16, 2006 12:18 PM | Link to this

I noticed Leia’s comment and thought again. My main concern is that a family of siblings not be forced to go to different schools when they are otherwise qualified for the same school. The burden on the family is greater than the need of a School District to arbitrarily break up the siblings.

It didn’t occur to me that we might be referring to an elementary school with two 3rd grades - (There I go living in the past again). Should parents be able to demand that the Jones twins not be put in different 3rd grade classes within the same campus - assumning the twins are otherwise qualified to be in the same class?

I honestly don’t know. My other objections are directly applicable here since the twins would be dropped off and picked up at the same time and place and would be at least in the same school, in the same orbit.

I’m going to have to see what Amazed, Jim and all the others think. I’ll not form an opinion for awhile and even then I think this one needs more experienced hands - parents and teachers - to give the pros and cons.

I sure can’t decide everything for other people!

By teach overseas

March 16, 2006 12:22 PM | Link to this

Why should parents of twins etc. have more say in where their children are placed than other parents? Of course the parents know the children better than teachers and administrators. But often, in trying to get what is best for their children, parents don’t see the whole picture (like the class or the rest of the school) That is the job of of the administration. Classes are set to accomodate many different things that parents don’t realize. Gender equality, racial balance and socio-economic diversity are very important to the classroom learning environment. As are percieved learning styles and teaching ability. Multiples in one class can upset a careful balance. School officials almost always try to accomodate parent requests, but sometimes the good of the whole is more important that the good of your particular child(ren). If some parents don’t get exactly what they want when they want it- they justify their sometimes outrageous behavior by saying “they only what what is best for their child”. And claim the school was “unresponsive to their needs”.

By meme

March 16, 2006 12:37 PM | Link to this

I have taught several sets of twins in my day, but only one set was in the same class for a while. I asked that they be separated when one twin kept answering for the other and the 2nd one stopped doing her work. After they were separated, the quiet one really blossomed. I think that as long as their needs are met and that each twin is treated as an individual, things will work out for them.

By Reader

March 16, 2006 12:45 PM | Link to this

I’m a school librarian and the parent of twins. The point of the bills, as I’ve seen them explained on twins/multiples boards, is to keep the children from falling victim to a blanket policy. There are some systems that have the policy of never allowing siblings in a class together, no matter what. I think many parents would like to see schools willing to consider it case-by-case. For me, I think I will prefer they stay together through kindergarten, and then leave it up to the regular class placement procedures. The pre-k’s and k’s do so much stuff, events, celebrations, visitors, trips, etc., that I think it will lessen the confusion to keep them in the same class.

I can also, of course, see a school’s perspective. There are a great many parents who demand their own way, no matter who else is hurt or helped by it. And, even though we like to say, “parents know their children best,” the truth is I don’t know them as a student, I don’t see how they are during the day with their peers. Some vital information on this decision will come from their teachers and administrators who see them at school, who have had the experience of teaching twins previously (these are the first set I’ve parented!), who have helped lots of children over thses hurdles, who have the best interests of the whole class of angels in their minds, not just my two.

I will, however, be completely willing to call someone on it if I think they are making decisions based on bad data, faulty assumptions, or some other prejudice against twins.

By Dion

March 16, 2006 12:50 PM | Link to this

My twin brother and I were separated from the time we started school, and it was no big deal to us. Personally, I think that its best to separate these kids as soon as possible, that way the adjustment will be easier.

By Susie

March 16, 2006 12:51 PM | Link to this

When my oldest, (now 16) was in kindergarten, his elementary school had about 400 students, and there were 9 (count em, NINE) sets of twins at the school! 4 of the sets were in his grade, so it was hard to shift them around and get them all in different classes, but they did. I don’t think it’s a bad idea, personally.

By Marie

March 16, 2006 01:18 PM | Link to this

I am an identical twin and I think its good for the twins to be in separate class in elementary because that way they do learn their own personality and have there own friends. We were in different classes up until we started Junior High. Being older and in the same class was fun because by then you have developed you own personality and you know who is the mean one and the nicer one.

By E. Lewis

March 16, 2006 01:22 PM | Link to this

From the perspective of a former teacher, it’s generally better for the classroom and the other students for the children to be in separate classrooms. It also helps the twins to develop who they are apart from their sibling.

By Susie

March 16, 2006 01:34 PM | Link to this

It seems to me, (just from reading the small sampling of “twin” parents here)that even if there were a law passed to allow parents to request their multiples to be in the same class, most parents wouldn’t do that. So I think that even if they DID take each set of twins on a case-by-case basis, most parents would ask that they be separated.

By Twindivasmomma

March 16, 2006 01:40 PM | Link to this

I have twin almost 10 year olds (B’day next week). My girls are in different classes. They were only in the same class 1 year that was kindergarten. But now they are in different classes, and I love it that way. I like to be able to compare teachers, and educational experiences. In our case, one of my daughters is book smart, the other is ok but very artsy. So they each have their own classes and can love each other because they aren’t in each other’s faces all day and night.

I vote for separating them!!

By john

March 16, 2006 01:58 PM | Link to this

i am a twin myself and our mother fought to have us put in the same room s together.i’m really glad she did it just doesnt seem right to seperate 2 people that have been so close all of there lives, now i do agree that perhaps maybein different areas of the class room but not completly seperate rooms ,because they do need to develope socialization skills to interact with other people

By posterchild

March 16, 2006 02:28 PM | Link to this

I teach 4 sets of elementary aged twins each day (I’m a special area teacher). I don’t see any reason why they need to be in the same room, seeing that they see each other on the bus, at home, etc. Also, if/when they get together in the hall or lunch, it’s usually petty fight city.

By Leia

March 16, 2006 02:38 PM | Link to this

So, should every parent have the “right” to request who her children’s teachers are, or is this just applicable if you had a multiple birth?

By Susie

March 16, 2006 02:51 PM | Link to this

Leia, at the school my kids started out in, (a small elementary school) the principal did let me request the same kindergarten teacher for my second son that my first son had. She didn’t make any guarantees, but she said she did try to accomodate any requests…I guess maybe she didn’t get that many requests per year, and it being a small school, she was able to let people make requests if they wanted to. After that, they were redistricted to a brand new school that was built near us, and I haven’t had any requests…so far there’s only been one teacher there that my kids haven’t loved. That really means a lot!

By J

March 16, 2006 04:08 PM | Link to this

I have a set of teenage twin girls. I would definitely recommend separating them as soon as possible. Yes, it is much easier if they have the same homework. Of course if you have more than one kid, there is going to be different homework/projects so whats the big deal. If they are in different classes there is less competition. They need to develop their own identity and the sooner you do it the better. One of my girls excel in school, the other does what it takes to get by. They both make good grades and both are into sports. They are around each other the majority of the time but need time apart and class is usually the only time. Most of their teachers now don’t even know they are a twin unless one of them mentions it, which they don’t normally do. I do think parents need to be able to make the choice but if you think you are doing the kids a favor keeping them together,you aren’t. The principal my kids had in kindergarten was open to having them in classrooms next door to each other so if there was a separation issue, it could be resolved more easily.

By OldSchool

March 16, 2006 04:31 PM | Link to this

I’ve had several sets of identical twins in my classes over the years. Some chose to be separate while others chose to be together. One particular set stands out in my mind. The boys were truly identical in looks but their attitudes and work habits could not have been more different. One wanted to sleep while the other worked on his assignments. It is now a few years down the road from their freshman year. Guess which one dropped out?

They both did.

By st

March 16, 2006 04:53 PM | Link to this

I am a teacher and a mother of 15 year old boy/girl twins. The parents should have a say in their children’s placement, but it also depends on if they are identical or the opposite sex faternal twins. As a teacher I have seen it work wonders and work against the twins. However, my twins were together for some classes as they got older and it worked out great for them. They are in high school and still have 2 classes together. since they are the opposite sex they have separate friends, sports, etc. I do see a “healthy” competition between them in their grades. If you want additional research about the placement of mulitiples order a booklet from the National Mother’s of Twins Club in Texas. They have a wonderful handbook about placement of mulitiples in school and what all needs to be considered before the final answer.

By Ernest

March 20, 2006 01:56 PM | Link to this

I believe parents should have a say in whether their twins are in the same class! I have twins who are in the fourth grade and we’ve requested they be in separate classes since they’ve been in school. As several have already indicated, my daughter is somewhat ‘dominant’ and would constantly correct her twin brother (can anyone say bossy?). Being in separate classes enabled them both to fully develop their own academic personalities. We will always request this going forward. On the flip side, it also gave us the chance to evaluate different teachers and delivery styles.

This year is interesting because they each have the same teachers albeit at different times of the day. This also helps us with homework assignment/projects along with studying for tests.

By Curious Administrator

March 30, 2006 11:13 AM | Link to this

Twins, could you please comment on your relationship with your twin at home after being separated from each other at school?

Curious Administrator