Get Schooled

By oldteacher

November 28, 2005 12:32 PM | Link to this

It is very difficult for parents to get gifts when their middle school children have 5 or more teachers. Honestly, we don’t mind if you don’t want to bother. If you do, however, a small gift certificate to an eating establishment is my favorite.

By Velatra

November 28, 2005 12:45 PM | Link to this

Gift cards/certificates are always extra nice. But…PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not give me another bubble bath set (I did get a really nice one from Victoria’s Secret a few years back, but I really didn’t like that particular scent). I am beginning to think it’s a hint that I smell bad.

Is it tacky to want cash? Just kidding!! But…is it? ;-)

By Stephanie

November 28, 2005 12:51 PM | Link to this

My favorite gift (I teach Pre-K) was a cat ornament I got last year, that the child absolutely had to get for me because she knew I liked cats. For me, it’s always the thought that counts (but NO MUGS! I don’t drink coffee or tea!)!!!

By Don

November 28, 2005 01:04 PM | Link to this

My favorite all time gift is sending a well behaved child that is polite courteous and ready to learn.

By retired teacher

November 28, 2005 01:12 PM | Link to this

When I was a new teacher, I loved homemade baked goods that I received from students. Before I retired, I had reached the point that I was very careful about such eating items. I never ate anything that made me sick, but I read too many scary stories about other teachers. I always enjoyed holiday themed kitchen sets or hand towels. For several years before I retired, I encouraged my students to do something to help someone in their community instead of buying me a gift, and then give me a Christmas card with a note telling me what they had done. Many students contributed to charitable organizations or performed physical labor for older members of their community. I truly enjoyed reading the cards and notes from my middle school students.

By Robert

November 28, 2005 01:14 PM | Link to this

My favorite gift is when a student studies hard and improves their average by doing well on the final exam.

I really do not care for gifts…although I seem to get stuff every semester. If I had to decide, I would ask for them to make a donation to a charity in my name.

By TinaTeach

November 28, 2005 01:22 PM | Link to this

When I was a first grade teacher our district did not allow children to bring in gifts for Christmas (too many teachers were not Christian) so if students were to bring in gifts they were encouraged to bring them in on Valentine’s Day. Granted this resulted in a lot of chocolate, sweet tarts, and red heart suckers (to which I am allergic). Eventually I encouraged my students to bring me apples and then that night I went home and made apple pies to them. I don’t very much like the idea of getting gifts from my kids aside from the occasional card (those I keep forever). They show me that the student or parent put a little more thought into it than just grabbing a bag of chocolates.

By jim dumond

November 28, 2005 01:45 PM | Link to this

Patti, not to dispute your friends advice. But I found sending an assorted chocolate gift basket was generally appreciated and shared by teachers in their lounge. Shelf life never seemed much of an issue, if you know what I mean.

By jj

November 28, 2005 02:04 PM | Link to this

I love the holiday season and do not expect anything but if a parent was to insist, I would love for them to donate somethig to the classroom. I new learning game or something the class could use for a rainy day break time. If I felt it would be worth while I would purchase one of the leapfrog games and request extra stories and the such. I do not feel students NEED to bring Me anything but sharing a gift with the class would be right up my alley. Now how do you let parents know with out making them feel obligated?

By abc

November 28, 2005 02:09 PM | Link to this

Homemade food goes straight into the trash. It’s not worth even imagining the state of the kitchen it came from. There’s already 4 times as many ornaments as will fit on the tree, family ornaments disappeared years ago, much to our chagrin.

Family members of teachers get more than a bit weary of seeing endless things with teacher themes or pithy sayings. More often than not, almost all of the gifts that students bring for their teachers get pitched out — several boxes full each year. Perhaps parents should consider that it would be welcomed if they would simply forego Christmas gift giving to teachers.

By sue

November 28, 2005 02:23 PM | Link to this

When my child was in elementary school, I liked to buy her teachers books that could be read to the class. They were always well received.

Last year, her middle school teachers requested that if parents wanted to send anything, they send supplies for the classrooms like hand sanitizer, pencils, tissues, etc. I think that most parents would be surprised at how much of their own money teachers spend on these types of items. Unlike scented candles, they are likely to be used.

By oldteacher

November 28, 2005 02:28 PM | Link to this

Sue, What a great idea. Yes we spend a lot of our own money. Hand sanitizer and tissues are a great idea especially with flu season just around the corner.

By Patti Ghezzi

November 28, 2005 02:31 PM | Link to this

Hey Jim, I think the idea of a food basket for the teacher’s lounge is terrific.

I was thinking more about if you know your child’s teacher is struggling with his or her weight, best not give an apple pie. (This happened to my friend one year. She was using her weight loss as a graphing exercise, so parents knew she was trying to lose weight. She laughed that she got more fattening food that year than ever before. )

By Lisa U.

November 28, 2005 02:41 PM | Link to this

I love consumable items like scented candles and potpouri. I treasure handmade Christmas ornaments made by students as well. I always remember those children each year when my family and I decorate our tree. School supplies are an excellent idea! I do spend quite a lot of money on supplies anually. Honestly, anything is fine. I appreciate the thoughts from my students and their families!

By Scroogey

November 28, 2005 03:42 PM | Link to this

You people make a very fine salary considering all the time off, and it’s pretty much paid leave from before Thansgiving until after New Year’s. And wasting all that heat keeping those trailers warm. Now you want/expect gifts too? Bah and humbug, I say.

By Frank

November 28, 2005 03:52 PM | Link to this

When I was a new teacher at a school in South Georgia my students asked me if I would accept a Christmas present from them. I told them that I appreciated the thought but I considered it unethical to accpet gifts from students. It was a result of a remark one of my professors had made about the same thing to a class I had.

He had told the class that it would not be ethical to recieve gifts from students that he was teaching and had to grade for the class.

I think that it was a very good idea as it would not come back to haunt you later after the grading period if the student did not think they recieved a grade that then had wanted.

By Scroogey

November 28, 2005 03:55 PM | Link to this

You go Frank,

By oldteacher

November 28, 2005 03:56 PM | Link to this

I’m glad that someone thinks I make a fine salary. I wonder how much better off I would be if I didn’t have to buy school supplies for so many children.

BTW - just saying Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays is a great gift.

By Taxpayer

November 28, 2005 04:43 PM | Link to this

I asked my freshman kid if she wanted to give any of her teachers gifts (as in the past) and got a resounding “NO!” Apparently, this is totally uncool. However, Sue’s and others’idea of sending in hand sanitizer, tissues, and supplies got an okay — as long as nothing is made to look like or seem like a gift. Teenagers … sheesh!

By Cracker

November 28, 2005 04:44 PM | Link to this

Hey Frank - i before e except after c. Good ole South Georgia.

By teacher

November 28, 2005 05:08 PM | Link to this

Gifts are completely unnecessary, especially when a child has multiple teachers.

I once received a letter from a student stating why they valued me. They described the impact I’d had on them throughout the year. It was a wonderful gift I could not have purchased. The letter is something I still cherish with pride. If you are a parent who can not refuse the gift giving season, encourage your child to write a meaningful letter to their teacher. It will mean the world. Please refrain from sending edibles.

By oldteacher

November 29, 2005 09:19 AM | Link to this

Patti, could we discuss the article about the lawyers who want to sue to remove vending machines from schools? Vending machines bring in extra money for the school. In our school the machines are on timers and only water can be purchased until after all the lunch periods are over. If parents don’t want their children to get stuff from the machines they need to make sure that the kids don’t have the money to buy stuff. Of course we know that with many kids, if they want it the parents are going to let them have it.

By chris - a room mom

November 29, 2005 10:03 AM | Link to this

To all our dedicated teachers PLEASE tell your room moms what you really want for you or your classroom! Most parents don’t know how to ask you either. As crazy as holidays are for everyone, a direct approach works best (no, we do not consider this tacky or making us feel obligated.) Just say “If you are considering a class gift, I always appreciate_.”or “I would really like to have _ for the classroom.” This saves hours of trying to figure out what would be appropriate and probably several apple mugs , too! We appreciate all you do for our kids and would like to show you with something you would appreciate too!

By GaNurse

November 29, 2005 11:09 AM | Link to this

Don’t forget the school nurse. We could use some clinic supplies as gifts too. We are usually forgotten altogether.

By v

November 29, 2005 11:27 AM | Link to this

I have always appreciated ANYTHING made by the students at my school. One year I got a box made out of craft sticks and pasta painted gold. I kept supplies in it until it fell apart. I love handmade cards and posters. I would be GRATEFUL AND APPRECIATIVE of any gift given to me by the students at my school. I don’t consider anything too tacky or useless to receive with joy. I work with Pre-K - 5th graders and the obvious delight they take is giving a gift is worth more than anything. Enjoy the kids and encourage their generosity. Not everything they learn is from a lesson plan.

By high school teacher

November 29, 2005 12:08 PM | Link to this

I value ALL gifts that I receive from students. Students and parents put thought and time into gifts. My Christmas tree will never be too full for an ornament that a student gives me; I will proudly display an apple mug on my desk. Thanks to all of you parents who remember your children’s teachers.

By teacher & mom

November 29, 2005 12:20 PM | Link to this

When I was a teacher, I always showed appreciation for whatever gift I was given, however, I had no need for most of them, nor wanted them. Even when I requested that the kids not bring in anything, parents still sent in gifts.

Determined not to make my kids’ teachers loathe the knick-knacks that were always unloaded on me (there were some that were obvious regifted things), I always send into them a gift bag with things for them to enjoy outside of the classroom. A gift card to Blockbuster or Hollywood Video, a pack of microwavable popcorn and a note of our appreciation for them. You can’t go wrong with gift cards and notes of thanks.

By Laura

November 29, 2005 01:29 PM | Link to this

At my son’s private school (820 students, age 3 to 12th grade) the parents voluntarily put money into a holiday fund and the parents association divides it up between all employees (about 250 people). Last year the FT employees got $160 and the PT ones got $80.

By Randy

November 29, 2005 02:53 PM | Link to this

We found an excellant solution for the dilema of giving gifts to teachers during the holidays and at the end of the year.

There is a charity called Teachers Curing Kids Cancer that was started right here in Atlanta. The idea is simple…instead of giving our teachers a mug, cookies, or a gift card they might not use, we donate to this charity in their name. The organization will send you a great certificate that you can give to each teacher. The $ goes directly to the AFLAC Cancer centers at Egleston and Scottish Rite! Teachers care about kids more than anyone so they really appreciate the gesture.

We’ve found a great way to honor them and do some good at the same time. teacherscuringkidscancer.org

By Elaine

November 30, 2005 09:04 AM | Link to this

As a former high school teacher, I have a somewhat different perspective than several here.

I was never inundated with gifts, as for some reason, parents do not feel obligated to do so for the teachers of their adolescent children. And this is okay, because the few gifts I did recieve, and the many cards, were all directly from the students. What they’d purchased with their own money, baked with their own hands, written from their own hearts. And honestly, more than once, reading one of those notes (maybe years old) in my desk drawer got me through a rough day.

I understand the ethical issues that arise when receiving gifts, but if we “ban” students from showing appreciation to teachers, we are missing a valuable opportunity for them to learn how to show gratitude…for them to see an adult, even an authority figure, as a fellow human being and go as far as to show appreciation to him/her. Kids (none of us, really) don’t have or take enough time to do that in this life.

So, as a teacher, my answer is: The gifts that are most appreciated are those that come from the heart, from a child’s heart. They mean a whole lot.

To see a child choose on his/her own to say “thanks” matters a lot more than something “practical” like hand sanitizer or tissues. The holidays aren’t a time to worry about what a person would like…if you truly care for a person, you’ll know.

By Karen Armsby

November 30, 2005 09:16 AM | Link to this

Elaine, My children instructed me starting in middle school NOT to send the teachers any gifts.

By Elaine

November 30, 2005 09:26 AM | Link to this

Karen,

Do you know why they didn’t want to give gifts anymore? I’m guessing it was “uncool,” but maybe they had other reasons, too. As a parent it would concern me that my child would be so adamant against thanking someone who worked with them every day.

Of course, it matters that as adults we remain sensitive to our children and their desire to fit in—that stuff matters. But, on the flip side, we still need to model for them the attitudes and behaviors we hope they grow to have.

Maybe adolescents don’t want to give teacher gifts and that’s fine. But we still should encourage them to show appreciation in some way.

By Karen Armsby

November 30, 2005 09:33 AM | Link to this

Elaine, It was uncool, because as they entered middle school they were taking a step away from mama’s skirts toward independence and didn’t want to stick out, or look like they were looking for favor from the teacher. Middle school ridicule is brutal!

Middle school is trying for teachers and students. In fact my oldest, now 23 recently told me that middle school was a waste of time, and she wishes she could have gone on sabbatical for those three years!

I still helped with PTA and gave gift cards to my kids favorite teachers.

By Elaine

November 30, 2005 09:48 AM | Link to this

Karen, You are so right about middle school. It is hard. Out of their own insecurity, kids that age can be so cruel to one another.

You’re right, too, about their emerging independence. It could be mortifying to have to deliver a gift purchased by Mom that the child thinks is “dumb” or that the teacher won’t like. Honestly, the kids know their teachers better than their parents do.

Thinking developmentally, it’s alltogether appropriate for a young adult to shun delivering gifts “sent in” by parents. However, out of sensitivity to that, I think too many parents just stop sending them, instead of transferring the responsibility of showing gratitude to their newly-capable children.

You can’t make a kid show appreciation. In fact, they maybe shouldn’t if they don’t really feel it. But, as in your example, you can continue to model gratitude in front of them.

By Karen Armsby

November 30, 2005 09:57 AM | Link to this

Elaine, Yes you are right. I tried to teach my kids that teachers were people, too, and entitled to their respect and appreciation. Saying thank you, or even knowing that you should say thank you, is becoming a lost art as our society at large is losing its civility. Adults are in such a hurry, and often fail to say thank you or show appreciation for a kindness done, for courteous service, or express appreciation for a job well done by those we live and work with. Our kids watch us and do model their behavior after ours.

By Ann

November 30, 2005 11:49 AM | Link to this

My daughter made bookmarks for her friends and teachers. I laminated them. If they are well received, great, if not we are only out $2 for the lot. Even if you only use the phone book most people can use another book mark.

By A Parent

November 30, 2005 12:06 PM | Link to this

My daughter loves all of her teachers she is in Kindergarten and has three teachers. I was wondering what to get them because she wants them to have something for Christmas, so we had decided to make them a gift basket with all the things that they need for the class. I am having the teachers make a list and I’m going to see if I can get everything on the list for them. Teachers really shouldn’t have to spend their own money on school supplies. I will pitch in and help them out. Which is what I have been doing all along. We regulary buy sanitizer for the class and tissues and crayons, markers. Whatever the teacher needs all she has to do is ask and if I am able to get it I will. My child deserves the best education that there is.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!

By 123

November 30, 2005 01:10 PM | Link to this

To “abc”: I’m so glad I don’t have any children in YOUR class. You sound like you’re a tad self-centered there regarding the gifts you have received. Food gifts go directly to the trash can because of the unknown state of the kitchen in which they were prepared? Pithy sayings? Boxes of gifts thrown out every year? Family ornaments long gone? Whose fault is that? Sheesh! Change your handle to “xyz” since you belong at the end of the line. Maybe a few lumps of coal in your stocking this year is JUST what you need. Such gratitude!

By Mandy

November 30, 2005 03:37 PM | Link to this

It’s not so much what it is, as how much thought was put into the gift. I have received some gifts that looked like the parents just sent in something they wanted to get rid of. I am sure that is what abc was talking about the ones that get thrown out. And I agree on throwing out homemade food if you weren’t sure about the home it came from. I know many teachers that won’t eat homemade treats. The key is to throw it away when you get home so that the students don’t see. They get the joy of giving and you learn to be gracious. Those of you who are being critical of teachers throwing away gifts act like you have never received a gift that you didn’t like. This happens to teachers every year, but we learn to smile, say thank you, and then do something with it after the students have gone home. We are still human you know.

By notso

November 30, 2005 03:58 PM | Link to this

Geez, teachers are touchy.