Misadventures in Atlanta

By Michelle

January 29, 2009 8:22 AM | Link to this

Good Morning all :)

Interesting topic but I think it is of course different from a male and female POV.

I will sitt back, lurk & laugh and chime in lata!

Thank GOD it is Thursday!!!

By Dan

January 29, 2009 8:28 AM | Link to this

Yeah the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence….

Until you see the amount of fertilizer used to keep it that way

By az

January 29, 2009 8:47 AM | Link to this

I think it happens quite a lot too and I think it usually ends with the new and improved person moving on to someone they think is new and improved over you. This new person is smarter, better looking, and more interesting than your current SO… obviously they will have more options out there, which means they will not put up with your crap like your previous less smart, less good looking, less intereting SO would. But hey, everyone likes to play the lottery… some people even occasionally hit.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 9:04 AM | Link to this

I knew it. I knew I would be able to post today about the marido and I watching Deal or No Deal last night. I could just feel it. LOL

This topic is the perfect Deal or No Deal scenario based on how my marido views the show. You have 26 cases to choose from. You make a choice. However not knowing what’s on the inside of the case. You get an offer for your case. You can either take the other offer or keep what you have. The thing is you do not know the full contents of the case you originally chose.

In watching this game I have seen people walk away with nearly nothing after finding themselves with only a few cases left and make a bad choice just to find out the case they were holding was greater in value than the deal they took. I have also seen individual keep their case and get the short end. All that to say life’s a gamble. We can either live with the choice we made or we can keep gambling. Sometimes choosing another will yield profitable benefits and sometimes not so much.

One thing we all need to keep in mind. It takes living and dealing to truly get to know the total package. The 80/20 can also be applied here.

By Rell - 5000

January 29, 2009 9:21 AM | Link to this

Have you ever been tempted to explore your options with someone else, while keeping your significant other around

EVERYDAY….sometimes its my flirtous nature..other times over time i have grown to know someone and thing wow we are more align than……thats until i see how they handle anger then i get turned off…i hate a hyper emotional female….thats a turn off…and then on some days ya females get on my last dayum nerves and then hate you all equally…lol

i like your breakdown raqi..and your right thats life…i see you have on your thinking cap

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 9:21 AM | Link to this

IMO if you view your present mate as the “something to do until something better comes along” it will eventually began to play out in the relationship. There could very well be a man out there that could be better or just as good to me as my husband, but I am not looking. I am happy with what I have. He is good for me.

There will always be somebody that is “more”. More handsome, more fun, more money, more intelligent. I don’t worry about all of that. Just like I don’t worry about the “mores” that cross his path.

By MELO

January 29, 2009 9:22 AM | Link to this

Have you ever been tempted to explore your options with someone else, while keeping your significant other around?

lets hear ur politically correct answers girls….

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 9:22 AM | Link to this

Ragi

Good analogy. Very true!!!!

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 9:23 AM | Link to this

Good morning. This topic reminds of me Usher’s song “make me leave the one I’m with to start a new relationship” (can’t think of the name). Anyway Why do you think we take chances with our relationships? Simple. No one wants to feel they let something wonderful get away. Quite a few delight in the thrill of “risky personal” pursuits.

Off topic, hopefully this mother won’t be mad at me. Driving out of the subdivision I noticed my neighbor’s son at the bus stop w/shorts and a tank top on, and openlaced sneakers w/no socks. That’s all. I rolled down my window and asked where is coat was. He said he left it at school. Then asked why he has shorts and a tank top on. He shrugged his shoulders. I told him to get in the car, and I took him back so he could put on long pants, a hoodie anything that was warm. He said he wasn’t cold. I said it doesn’t matter. It’s 30+ degrees out here. Told him what you kids fail to understand is the unnecessary doctor bills and the time we parents have to take from work to nurse or go to apptmts when quite a bit can be avoided. I was still able to get him back to his bus stop in time, but he wasn’t too happy w/me…I don’t care!

Sorry, back to topic…

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 9:28 AM | Link to this

Good morning. This topic reminds of me Usher’s song “make me leave the one I’m with to start a new relationship” (can’t think of the name). Anyway Why do you think we take chances with our relationships? Simple. No one wants to feel they let something wonderful get away. Quite a few delight in the thrill of “risky personal” pursuits.

Off topic, hopefully this mother won’t be mad at me. Driving out of the subdivision I noticed my neighbor’s son at the bus stop w/shorts and a tank top on, and openlaced sneakers w/no socks. That’s all. I rolled down my window and asked where is coat was. He said he left it at school. Then asked why he has shorts and a tank top on. He shrugged his shoulders. I told him to get in the car, and I took him back so he could put on long pants, a hoodie anything that was warm. He said he wasn’t cold. I said it doesn’t matter. It’s 30+ degrees out here. Told him what you kids fail to understand is the unnecessary doctor bills and the time we parents have to take from work to nurse or go to apptmts when quite a bit can be avoided. I was still able to get him back to his bus stop in time, but he wasn’t too happy w/me…I don’t care!

Sorry, back to topic…

By Michelle

January 29, 2009 9:30 AM | Link to this

LMAO @ Leggs!!!*

By Tazzee

January 29, 2009 9:36 AM | Link to this

Morning all!

Raqi it took me a while to learn that ‘more’ concept.

For me, when I’m in a committed relationship I don’t venture to see if another man could be the total package. Meaning - a man may catch my eye but I do no more than look. I don’t engage in conversation or try to get to know anyone to see if they are the total package.

When I get frustrated in a relationship to the point where I want to get to know another man I first try to reconcile those differences with my mate - if that doesn’t happen then I leave.

If I’m not in a committed/exclusive relationship, then all bets are off. But as I said the other day, it’s difficult for me to try to get to know more than one man at a time so that usually doesn’t happen.

Leggs I know times have changed and all, but that was a great thing you did this morning. I bet that boy’s mother left for work before he got dressed. Thanks for being part of the village.

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 9:36 AM | Link to this

Rell

I understand why you would not like to be around a “hyper-emotional person.” Cause are “hyper-emotional” too, my friend. LOL

By MELO

January 29, 2009 9:40 AM | Link to this

Leggs,good for u!!! I wld do the same for my neighbors’ 2 adorable kids.Good looking out!!!

By M.

January 29, 2009 9:42 AM | Link to this

If Im dating someone and everything seems fine, then if another woman comes on the scene, its tough because if I like someone, I go all in with that person. Therefore, someone really will only come across to me as a friend because I feel like if I already have someone I would rather focus on them. As Tazee said, if they change and are not performing up to par, then you have to have that talk with them.

@Wise Check your gmail.

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 9:44 AM | Link to this

Alot of relationships are just unfulfilling. The person that was once fun, vibrant, and exciting now becomes the typical ball and chain. The next girl looks so much better than she really is because the one your with has become “THE WIFE”.

The simple solution is to keep a spare. It makes home life bearable and playtime exhilirating. I don’t even feel bad about it. The only chink in the armor is the dam diseases out there. It’ll make you scared straight.

Have you ever been tempted to explore your options with someone else, while keeping your significant other around? What are your dating ethics when it comes to this type of situation? Like I told my ex when she asked if I ever cheated “I never stopped”. I actually dated one chick for 1.5 years while me and the wife were together.

Thing is I’m more prone to abstain when I’m single. Soon as I get in tight I have the strongest desire to stray. I feel suffocated. Must be a charachter flaw. LOL

Final verdict: Take the chance and explore all options.

By Rell - 5000

January 29, 2009 9:45 AM | Link to this

@leggs…that just proves the point that kids like displine..they look for it….good for you…

@stormy….ya think…again..i am not hyper emotional…i am more of a dreamer and thinker…it takes alot to anger me..and its rare i am in a p** mood….trust me i am the craziest funniest person you would ever meet - thats when my life is in balance…when out of balance then you will get god knows what out of me..but emotional i am not…

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 9:54 AM | Link to this

Rell

Thanks for clearing that up….I guess I had you pegged wrong….just thinking about some of previous posts.

Leggs

Good Looking Out….Neighbor of Year. :)

By kimmie

January 29, 2009 9:54 AM | Link to this

Good Mornt-ing - My boss calls me Madea, by the way!LOL!!

Leggs - Totally cool what you did and if his mom gets mad - she’ll be the one with the problem. That’s something me & my mom would and have done!

On Topic - I never kept a current SO around while I pursued something I THOUGHT was greener, but I’ve broken up with one to get to the greener. No real regrets, obviously none worked out cause I never married them. Things would not have worked with the current SO either so at least I gave it a shot. I know me though - if I’m even entertaining conversation enough to THINK someone else might be better than what I have, it’s the beginning of the end for the current relationship anyway. When I’m into someone, I’m all in. I see good looking men every day and I look, but I only have eyes for my SO. But hey, lifes a gamble and karma will sure come back to bite. If you really feel its worth taking a chance do it, but be decent enough to let your current go first. Life can sure be messy sometimes and we are all not perfect, I do realize!

Wise - Now we all should know that you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Looks, car, job - all that is surface stuff & should not be enough to make you leave your SO unless you are very shallow. Obviously your friend has already kinda crossed the line if he’s gotten to know enough about this other woman to the point that he’s considering pursuing her. You get my point?

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 9:54 AM | Link to this

Rell

Thanks for clearing that up….I guess I had you pegged wrong….just thinking about some of previous posts.

Leggs

Good Looking Out….Neighbor of the Year. :)

By M.

January 29, 2009 9:55 AM | Link to this

@The Truth

“Like I told my ex when she asked if I ever cheated “I never stopped”

Too funny….LOL Speaking of keeping a spareI was listening to the radio last week and they were discussing why P. Diddy wont marry Kim Porter. The guy said Kim Porter is like a breeder…She breed’s his kids. You dont want to mess up Cassie’s body(Cassies is the mistress) LOLOL

By Rell - 5000

January 29, 2009 9:56 AM | Link to this

just thinking about some of previous posts.

post - you think that you know me from a forum…lol…too funny!!!

By BriteEyez

January 29, 2009 9:57 AM | Link to this

Good Morning all

Raqi’s 9:21 comment is the bottom line. Anytime you are in a relationship just biding your time until something better comes along you should not be in that relationship. There will always be someone more attractive or more interesting out in the world. You have to have the right “connections” with your mate. IMO if you do you will know you have something special and you will know that the “better” you find daily out in the world really isn’t.

By Rell - 5000

January 29, 2009 10:03 AM | Link to this

Kim Porter is like a breeder…She breed’s his kids. You dont want to mess up Cassie’s body(Cassies is the mistress) LOLOL

lol…..cassie is not CUTE AT ALL to me….on the other hand….i like KIM she is sexy to me….specially her two minute scene in the brothers when she came on to shemar moore…i like darker skin women like here and Kenya Moore..

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 10:08 AM | Link to this

Rell

Lighten up….no offense intended. Geeeezzzzz!!!

By kimmie

January 29, 2009 10:09 AM | Link to this

Good Mornt-ing!

Leggs - Great thing you did and if his moms gets mad, she’s the one with the problem, not you. Needs to be more Leggs in the world!

On Topic - Hey, life is definitely a gamble! I have never kept a current SO around, but have dumped one for someone I thought was better. Obviously it did not work out because I am no longer with. But I know me. If I am noticing another man to the point of wanting to pursue them, it was already over for me and the current SO anyway. So no regrets here. I see good-looking, rich, nice-car driving men every day and I appreciate seeing them. That’s as far as it goes, they could all be absolute psychos! When I’m into someone, I’m all in. And all that glitters is not gold!

Wise - It kinda seems like your friend has maybe already crossed the line if he knows enough about this other woman to consider pursuing her, if you get what I’m saying. Other than the surface stuff, which comes a dime a dozen, how does he know this other lady is really ALL THAT if he has not already been getting close to her?

By MELO

January 29, 2009 10:09 AM | Link to this

So far,all the ladies comments are stale,banal and predictable.We are all going to zeeeee,zeeee off unless somebody comes up with smething more interesting.Where are all the exciting undercover trolls and lurkers…..????

By I HATE ATTENTION WHOR3S!

January 29, 2009 10:20 AM | Link to this

MELO- HOLA, SITTING BACK AND READING COMMENTS TODAY. WD HAS THE TENDENCY TO DELETE MAJORITY OF MY POST. I GUESS TO CALL ME A TROLL AND LURKER WOULD NOT BE SO. HUH??

By Wise Diva

January 29, 2009 10:25 AM | Link to this

Morning folks! LOL @ Melo you are such a chump! Go watch Jerry Springer or something. I am so over the trolls. Can’t we be grown up for one solid week?

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 10:29 AM | Link to this

She breed’s his kids. You dont want to mess up Cassie’s body(Cassies is the mistress) Shameful, but on point. Had to laugh.

Thanks guys. I was so hot at this young boy I could have wrung his neck myself. I was prepared to take him to school but when I saw that bus pulling to the next stop, I turned into Mable and put metal to the petal (LOL).

You know what’s funny is the “more” concept. Of course there will always be someone more prettier, more handsome, more sexier, more sensual. The point is to not look for this if you’re happy w/what you have. Love who you’re with and put your all into that person and build your life w/that person you decided to be in a “committed” relationship with. As they say, the grass is greener on the other side….so is the water bill!!

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 10:33 AM | Link to this

Tazzee I learned a while back that there is no such thing as a flawless total package. And the time that some spend trying to see if there is something better out there they could be using to make the relationship they are already in better.

I don’t waste my time worrying about if my husband may come across a better or different me. I rather use that time to try to be a better me for me and he will reap the benefits. And as for him, he is not who I settled for “until”, he is who I choose to be with.

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 10:34 AM | Link to this

She breed’s his kids. You dont want to mess up Cassie’s body(Cassies is the mistress) Shameful, but on point. Had to laugh.

Thanks guys. I was so hot at this young boy I could have wrung his neck myself. I was prepared to take him to school but when I saw that bus pulling to the next stop, I turned into Mable and put metal to the petal (LOL).

You know what’s funny is the “more” concept. Of course there will always be someone more prettier, more handsome, more sexier, more sensual. The point is to not look for this if you’re happy w/what you have. Love who you’re with and put your all into that person and build your life w/that person you decided to be in a “committed” relationship with. As they say, the grass is greener on the other side….so is the water bill!!

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 10:35 AM | Link to this

Melo

Please go IMMEDIATELY to the NAUGHTY CHAIR!!!! You are officially in TIME OUT, MISTER!!! LMAO

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 29, 2009 10:36 AM | Link to this

Dan Your 8:28 is SO on point. But a lot of men either do not care…or can not think of that because the little head is so much more stronger than the big one. Then when they slink over to the other side the realize they have been bamboozled, hoodwinked and the representative rock landed on them! Surprise btch…you’ve been punked! Now hand over your wallet! LOL You know..I have been tempted to play that perfect chick to get a dude who I know is no good away from a chick *(trust me girl I’m doing you favor) and then go completely bipolar on his azz. “What’s wrong baby…am I not what I seemed? Well newflash azzhole neihter were you to your now ex who really loved you…karma kitty just bit you in the azz”! LOL I know….I’m starting early!

Leggs dang you went into straight up mami mode on that one! LOL I hope it is not a financial reason though. That could be embarrasing for his parents.

M LOL I am laughing at you…Kim is a breeder (c*m dumpster). But Cassie’s 12 year boy body might benefit from a child! LOL

Rell likes darker women….is it cuz you are light skinned-da-ded? LOL I’m just messing with you. Kenya is beautiful though. I will give her her props.

Truth Your post is why I hate men! LOL Cheating slimy MF’ers! The reason disease is at an all time high! Why get married if you are going to cheat? SERIOUSLY! I will NEVER trust a man as far as I can spit! For you if I were your wife I would purposely set you up to meet with a beautiful woman who I know has an incurable STD. Trust I would stop sleeping with you and kissing you. Then I’d through you a party with all your friends and family around (birthday, our anniversary, etc.)…then on the cake when I bring it out it would have Happy Newly Infected Day on it…but she would be the one carrying it out to you. Yeah that ought to clear a room! LMAO! Yeah I know I can be one twisted chick when I want to! You risk my life…I jack yours! Muhahahah!

By Tazzee

January 29, 2009 10:36 AM | Link to this

melo Why don’t you share your experience with topic? I’m pretty sure you have something interesting to say.

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 10:39 AM | Link to this

Pedal, not petal.

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 10:44 AM | Link to this

Pedal, not petal.

By M.

January 29, 2009 10:45 AM | Link to this

@Leggs

LOL As I say some people think the grass is greener on the other side till they get there and see that it is brown!

@Blog

Educate me here. But the response I have only goes to the fact that women should as Leggs said be happy with who you are with becasue if Im not mistaken, the main goal for women is not to just get a man, but to get a man to COMMIT to them not only in dating but for the long term. Is this correct? I guess guys have to get a woman to commit to but guys have to pop the question in the end.

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 10:47 AM | Link to this

Staceye,

Girl….”You are one NOT to be messed wit.” LOL

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 10:50 AM | Link to this

the grass is greener is the problem. i ran into this while dating in GA, but as soon as i cut it off after i finally got it they started trippin’. why? i thought you wanted to holla. well go holla then and leave me alone!

they knew what i wanted and i wouldn’t have it any other way. i have two boys to think about and i totally respect them.

imo, at our age seeing if the grass is greener is sad and pathetic. i did this in my 20’s for goodness sake.

everyone wants the samething right? well act like it.

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 10:54 AM | Link to this

LOL…Staceye, even if financial problems are surfacing, pretty sure he has some long pants to wear and shirt w/sleeves. Hell, if he had to go in the hamper and pull something out then that’s what needed to be done (because we all know they put clean clothes there too. Wearing jeans one time)!

Staceye, good gosh almighty (roflmaso). Just purchased some new steel-toed boots. I’m putting them in the mail for you TODAY. One of your old ones cracked Sir Truth’s bedroom window!

By M.

January 29, 2009 10:55 AM | Link to this

But you have to make me want to pop the question

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 10:59 AM | Link to this

LOL…Staceye, even if financial problems are surfacing, pretty sure he has some long pants to wear and shirt w/sleeves. Hell, if he had to go in the hamper and pull something out then that’s what needed to be done (because we all know they put clean clothes there too. Wearing jeans one time)!

Staceye, good gosh almighty (roflmaso). Just purchased some new steel-toed boots. I’m putting them in the mail for you TODAY. One of your old ones cracked Sir Truth’s bedroom window!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 29, 2009 10:59 AM | Link to this

Stormy Yeah…I am a wee bit spiteful! LOL I think if they ever remade the movie, “War of the Roses” I would make the perfect person to play that role of Mrs. Rose!

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 10:59 AM | Link to this

kinda seems like your friend has maybe already crossed the line if he knows enough about this other woman to consider pursuing her

Kimmie I agree. How does he know she is the total package that he thinks she is unless he has had some dealings with her?

After eight years of being together there are undeniably certain things about my marido and I that we don’t like about the other. Things we would change if we could. But the pros outweigh the cons here.

You take a chance giving up 80% of what you know you like to try to find that 20%. Upon getting that 20% you may find that what you thought was the total only equals to 75% as a whole.

I say the guy needs to stand back and look at what he has in hand versus what he thinks he might be getting. Until you get to dealing the essence of a person you don’t know the whole package.

By lurker

January 29, 2009 11:02 AM | Link to this

As with gambling, the odds of hitting it big are far greater than stepping off the sidewalk and getting hit by a train. If you’re confident and happy about your current relationship that’s not broken and need no fixing, then stay with what you know. Gambling just ain’t a sane way of finding “better.” You chose your current mate for whatever reasons tickled your fancy. Don’t have your vision obscured by what could possibly be a passing fancy. And yes, it could very well possibly be better. Better as opposed to what though? It’s always easier to not see the flaws of someone new because you’re familiar with the flaws of your current SO. As soon you let your current love go to explore better your vision will more than likely adjust and you’ll see the not so pretty things, but that’s the risk. If your going to gamble, be a full risk taker. Don’t hang on the fence in doing what’s best for you by stringing one until you decide. Cut to it. If it doesn’t work out, be prepaid to deal. Stay with what you know OR not AND make a decision.

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 11:02 AM | Link to this

Staceye I wouldn’t have to cheat with you because you’d be right there with me. We both know you cant wait to get your hands on some woman meat. Quit fronting and come out of the closet.

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 11:02 AM | Link to this

danny i agree with your first post. when they see how it’s not all that over there on the other side they realize they have STEAK at home.

MF you should have known that from the jump! stop acting like you doing a car comparison and wake the fvck up.

this wouldn’t happen if women wouldn’t allow these niccas to come back. i’m tired of us being weak and stupid!

By Rell - 5000

January 29, 2009 11:07 AM | Link to this

And the time that some spend trying to see if there is something better out there they could be using to make the relationship they are already in better.

i agree….and i told my SO the same thing!!!!!

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 11:07 AM | Link to this

pooh bear that was mean. :-(

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 11:08 AM | Link to this

Well newflash azzhole neihter were you to your now ex who really loved you

Staceye I agree. If the relationship is going fine and one decide to look into something new, they themselves are not that good package deal that their s/o thought they had.

By MELO

January 29, 2009 11:08 AM | Link to this

I did that stuff when i was still dating.I alwayz had a string of ladies around me,even when i had one particular one that i liked most.But it wasnt a case of exploring other serious options,but rather, a case of just playing the field as a male and getting some much needed notches,belts,experience etc,at that age.Playing the typical all guys are dogs, if u like. I think thats my perspective in lyfe,in general,thats why i dont do window shopping,shopping around etc.When i want something, i focus on it and go get it.I kinda alwayz studied chics from a far,all the while checking to see if i liked her(them) or not.When i made a decision,it was a wrap. Now,playing around with other chics is always an option most guys have alwayz wanted to have.Its that testestorone. Now,i wish u all cld be as truthful!

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 11:10 AM | Link to this

It’s always easier to not see the flaws of someone new because you’re familiar with the flaws of your current SO

Lurker exactly.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

January 29, 2009 11:10 AM | Link to this

What a lot of women don’t understand is in today’s perveted society…marriage may actually be a downgrade!

Why connect with someone if you know you he will cheat on you? (smh) Evaluate character prior to taking the plunge. Otherwise, you may end up in a situation that you eventually regret.

Some women are actually in a better position during their unmarried season, than they’d be if they were to marry.

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 11:11 AM | Link to this

Truth

OMG!!!! I don’t believe U, OMG!!!!

By ANOTHER PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT

January 29, 2009 11:17 AM | Link to this

The grass is NOT greener. Sometimes, it’s not even grass.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 29, 2009 11:19 AM | Link to this

Aw Truth…Dude I thought you’d come back with something a bit more original than calling me a closet lesbo. You disappoint me baby! Now bend over and take it like a man! LMAO!!!! J/K

KP Why do you think I am content being single? LOL

By Rell - 5000

January 29, 2009 11:19 AM | Link to this

It’s always easier to not see the flaws of someone new because you’re familiar with the flaws of your current SO

again something i said word for word to my SO monday morning…..

@kp….in come the preacher….what it dew….why does religion center around women if men are to lead…i dont get it….why is it always a women that could be better…why not a man….what you dont see in your bubble is the underground scene of “girlfriends” that are more than shopping buddies and they are attach as well….those same women that scream and rail against the DL scene are the same ones doing each other and going to swinger parties whenever they can….but again its always the man out here f uc king anything not nailed down…right

By M.

January 29, 2009 11:20 AM | Link to this

@Melo

True that! 11:08 AM post!

By Tazzee

January 29, 2009 11:22 AM | Link to this

lurker great comment.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 11:23 AM | Link to this

Rell was she out looking for something new.

We find situations where one will look elsewhere because of the home situation that they themselves created, (kids, financial woes, no time). These issues need to be addressed among the two. But instead one, and sometimes both, will search out one that can spend the time with them with the kids and the financial burdens. But they help make them.

What a lot don’t consider is if you leave that one to go be with that other, what happens when the new kid comes along and the co-mingling of finances start to weigh on you?

That there is one of the reasons you have folks with 5-6 ex-spouses and 4 different sets of kids. They keep creating situations and then running from them.

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 11:27 AM | Link to this

I guess today everyones coming in on that “I’m faithful to the end” shyt. SMH Most of you would leave your mates in a NY minute if you could upgrade. Your only as faithful as your options.

If the chicks on here had a large amount of viable men pursuing them they’d do exactly what men do, sample.

We’re not monogomamous by nature. It’s something that must be worked on. I even saw a recent study that showed women want long term relationships for the soul purpose of raising offspring. Once thats done the guy can kick rocks.

Men know you really only wanted kids and you know he really only wanted a warm body to lay with. When you have the kid 90% of the women stop providing the warm body hence she’s inviting the cat to step out on her. Mother nature will be served.

Angie what does your 2 boys have to do with dating? You can’t look out for them and the new guy too. Hence someone’s gotta lose, and I’d prefer it be you.

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 11:28 AM | Link to this

Raqi I was about to ask Rell when he had to tell his SO what he told her, but thought against getting too personal. But, you are in my head!

By Rell - 5000

January 29, 2009 11:32 AM | Link to this

Rell was she out looking for something new

raqi i know you are a smart women and this one does not need to be spelled out for you….

@truth

cosign your 11:27

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

January 29, 2009 11:33 AM | Link to this

Rell, Most men have high self-esteems and pursue the things that we selfishly want. Through this process we have helped to tank the self-esteems of women to the point where they are willing to accept any type of treatment and behavior.

Here is my encouragement to men…

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 11:34 AM | Link to this

Raqi I was about to ask Rell when he had to tell his SO what he told her, but thought against getting too personal. But, you are in my head!

By DreamsMaterialize

January 29, 2009 11:43 AM | Link to this

Morning I think everyone should strive for the best they can achieve, no matter what it is. If I’m at a job, and a much better opportunity presents itself, I’m out. If my current job couldn’t provide that same future for me, then they can’t be mad at me leaving. Likewise, if they find someone who can do my job much better than I can and make the company more money, I’m not mad at them for replacing me. If my girl sees a guy out there who’s better for her than me, then I’m not mad if she goes for what she knows…I’ll do the same. Now, the downside is that if I leave my job for another and it doesn’t work out, I risk losing what I had. Just the price of the game I decided to play.

By MELO

January 29, 2009 11:48 AM | Link to this

WOW!!!! Rell,so u think she may have caught a bug from smeone else???

By Rell - 5000

January 29, 2009 11:50 AM | Link to this

and let the speculation begin…lol

By DreamsMaterialize

January 29, 2009 11:50 AM | Link to this

Morning I think everyone should strive for the best they can achieve, no matter what it is. If I’m at a job, and a much better opportunity presents itself, I’m out. If my current job couldn’t provide that same future for me, then they can’t be mad at me leaving. Likewise, if they find someone who can do my job much better than I can and make the company more money, I’m not mad at them for replacing me. If my girl sees a guy out there who’s better for her than me, then I’m not mad if she goes for what she knows…I’ll do the same. Now, the downside is that if I leave my job for another and it doesn’t work out, I risk losing what I had. Just the price of the game I decided to play.

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 11:52 AM | Link to this

KP can that shyt rev. LOL

This system is so polluted your advice is rendered useless. Make hard decisions. WTF are you talking about. The laws are fugged therefore the participants are fugged. A dude cant discipline his kids nor his wife. He has been reduced to footing the bills and hoping the chick doesnt leave and clean him out. As soon as he decides to marry and have kids he’s officially handed the reigns over to the whims of the chick he’s with. Who can live like that.

Rell he focuses on women because he can control them. He’s knows a dude could give a fugg about his perceived “right way” to do thing.

Staceye lets french kiss and make up. We shouldn’t be fighting like this. I think you want some of this sexual caramel over here. Don’t be coy, come and get it. BTW, that El diablo thing yesterday was hilarious.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 11:52 AM | Link to this

Rell I asked because I want to know. That’s why I proceeded with the comment that I did. I think it was abc that said the other day how a woman will tell her husband he needs to bring in more money. But when he gets the second job and put in the hours that is needed to bring more, she is now complaining that he doesn’t spend enough time with her.

That situation has been known to have one out looking for another one who will spend the time with them. However she is still living on the husband’s dime. She gets more money from one and more time from the other. But she fails to realize that when it all hits the fan and she moves on to fully be with the other, life will happen. Her side piece has now become her whole pieced and she must now deal with what he “lacks”. If she doesn’t learn, the cycle continues.

The same is true for the man who complains about his wife not giving him her eternal undivided attention due to the kids they created and the living situation. He looks out, finds the one that will spend a few hours a week with him uninterrupted. The eventually make it permanent. She pushes out kid and now her time is divided. If he doesn’t learn and change she will soon find herself as the wife of a cheater. Which she already is because he cheated with her on his wife.

That’s what I told whitebread when he wanted me to make a life with him after his divorce. He is already a cheater. Why would I freely walk into that?

By MELO

January 29, 2009 11:53 AM | Link to this

Dan and Angie u 2 sound like u were cut at some point in ur lives.Angie,ur long gone man is really gone!Stop comparing ur azz with his new azz.Thats his choice.

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 11:55 AM | Link to this

truth first, when i was in a committed relationship for all those years, i never looked outside of my union. never! i was greatful for what i had. i was a faithful woman.

second, my boys have a lot to do with it. they will never see mommy bringing home different men. since 2004, they have only met one of my dates.

beautiful patting herself on the back

i’m setting myself up to go at this alone. it may never happen … finding a husband to love. the great thing about this is that i’m not over here boo hooin’. it’s been five years and i’m very comfortable right now. the only problem is sleeping alone. i hate it! yes, i can change that tonight, but i don’t want just anyone.

By Rell - 5000

January 29, 2009 11:58 AM | Link to this

raqi….you would not believe this..but i am smartier than you think..and know all you have typed…this is just to get me sharp while i am here on the board…trust me on that

i understand the rules of life and the game…maybe she does not..but i am OK….feel me

By Rell - 5000

January 29, 2009 12:00 PM | Link to this

Through this process we have helped to tank the self-esteems of women to the point where they are willing to accept any type of treatment and behavior

i cant agree with that….

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

January 29, 2009 12:02 PM | Link to this

Rell, Most men have high self-esteems and pursue the things that we selfishly want. Through this process we have helped to tank the self-esteems of women to the point where they are willing to accept any type of treatment and behavior.

Here is my encouragement to men…

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 12:02 PM | Link to this

melo shut the h3ll up! i officially don’t like your punk, no good, cheatin’, cheap azz!

if i had a way to contact your wife, i would!!! and i would help her move her shyt right after i introduce her to MIA!

mind your business jackazz.

By MELO

January 29, 2009 12:07 PM | Link to this

Raqi,ur 11.52,why u scaring pple unnecesarily?? Ple must strive to better themselves and be around pple they want to be with.If ur SO is no good,drop him or her and move on.U cant live a life of misery simply coz.And if ur so called SO starts mouthing doubts about the relationship,thats poison right there.I am at liberty to go and she knows she has the liberty too.I refuse to settle just becoz the grass aint greener over there.Who knows that?If the situation becomes untenable,she gets fat,starts drinking beer,making excuses on her obligations at home,IM OUT!!

By MELO

January 29, 2009 12:10 PM | Link to this

Im making a trip to cali just to phluck ur easy azz beautiful.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 12:10 PM | Link to this

Rell I don’t doubt you. Just verbalizing some instances that I have seen and heard of.

By kimmie

January 29, 2009 12:12 PM | Link to this

Dang Melo, she can’t even have a beer?!LOL!!

By Tazzee

January 29, 2009 12:13 PM | Link to this

Truth on your 11:27 - I think the difference lies in the fact that women (thus far) are saying that they will end it before they seek other options. So yes, we will leave if we felt an upgrade coming. What we (I) won’t do is test drive that upgrade while I’m currently in a relationship.

And don’t get it twisted - we have plenty of men pursuing us, it’s just that time has taught us that the one pursuing is not necessarily better than the one we have.

Men on the other hand operate on the all new ‘p’ is better ‘p’ principle. That is until you call it a ‘wrap’ as melo put it.

Furthermore - as has been said before - why do we need to lie on a blog?

By JtJ

January 29, 2009 12:14 PM | Link to this

Hello All,

I have been lurking and reading comments when I can, I agree with most here….the grass is definitely not greener on the other side of the lawn. Personally, I have never played the field so to speak and strung along one person while I persued another. If you are willing to risk what you have for what you think you think is better, then go ahead. Just remember, you can never go back once you cross that line. It has happened to me before and I never knew why a man or woman would risk what they have and know, for the possibility of something that is unknown, considering that there is nothing majorly wrong with what they have. IDK……….I guess that is the difference between being with someone who chose for all the right reasons .

@ Beautiful, I must say you sound contradictory in your statement at 11:55. How can you be comfortable being alone but not be ok with sleeping alone. That is the transitional moment when you can honestly say you’re ok with being single. You learn how to sleep alone and enjoy it. You understand that sleeping alone is the solace after the failed relationship. Now, it will take some getting used to, but that is how you really know. You can sleep like a little kid again on your stomach all sprawled across the bed if you want to.

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 12:14 PM | Link to this

KP Through this process we have helped to tank the self-esteems of women to the point where they are willing to accept any type of treatment and behavior. Is that what you’re bible thumping friends tell you because thats some of the dumbest shyt I’ve ever heard. Keep mind fugging the chicks dude and leave the deep psycho analysis alone.

Angie what can be said about you that hasn’t already been said about psycho broads the world over?

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 12:17 PM | Link to this

Melo now being harpooned in the back by Beautiful moments after being su-flexed by WiseDiva. LMAO!!!!

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 12:19 PM | Link to this

melo i’m done communicating with your ugly azz too! who’s next?

we are grown adults on this blog! are we not?

stop with the hate and let’s uplift one another.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 29, 2009 12:20 PM | Link to this

Truth A dude cant discipline his kids nor his wife A grown woman does not need or deserve to be disciplined. Your child ont he other hand does. Who you are you to think you can treat a woman like a child? Now choose your paddle to get your azz whippin’ with! Then you must say, “yes Mistress” after each smack! You like it don’t you baby?” LOL

By Dan

January 29, 2009 12:21 PM | Link to this

@melo

Of course I’ve been “cut”, but I’ve “cut” too.

Having seen it from both sides, I was merely making an observation about consequences.

Just about every person has a story about jumping that fence and not noticing the hole on the other side til they were half way in it.

And then?

By SexyCool - v2009 UnCut

January 29, 2009 12:21 PM | Link to this

imo…this whole discussion feeds into the there’s-nothing-like-new phenomenon (sp?)…

it’s about the possibilities…we are more excited when we think we have unlimited possibilities…

when you get familiar with your partner…you settle into a routine…you learn habits and tendencies…you come to know what the possibilities of that particular relationship will be…and you can become complacent…

encountering a new person bring about the chance for new GREATER possbilities…

my desire for my next relationship…is that it be filled with endless possibilties…

cause like savon says in love jones….it’s about the possibility of a thang…

By AmazonRed

January 29, 2009 12:22 PM | Link to this

LMAO. Today’s discussion is comedy! Too bad I can’t stick around and play. Truth and melo, ya’ll are a mess!

You guys have a great day.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

January 29, 2009 12:22 PM | Link to this

Truth, LOL…I knew that would get your attention. I lurk often, but there is nothing like the attention of Truth, Rell, Melo and For Real.

Back to lurkville for KP!

By Tazzee

January 29, 2009 12:25 PM | Link to this

Dreams with your job/mate analogy, do you just settle down with a female when you get too old to seek another? You know how some folks stop looking outside their current job because they’ve reached a certain age when they don’t think they can get hired. Or do you just retire from the game like folks retire from work at which point you don’t work anymore (no more women)?

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 12:25 PM | Link to this

JtJ outside of the bed, i’m good! trust me, i know what i wrote and meant for it to be read that way.

pooh bear i can’t be too psycho since you’re always commenting on how hot my booty is. lol.

By Blow Me - I got a BIG EGO.....I can back it up!

January 29, 2009 12:27 PM | Link to this

this place is nutzo

I have been reading these comments and I am over here laughing. We have quite a few characters on here. Bootiful You are hiliarious! wow!

By MELO

January 29, 2009 12:28 PM | Link to this

Kimmie,beer.U can have beer if u want or ur man has no problem wit it.I dont want her acting all crazy, in front of pple after that toxic beer.Besides,she wasnt drinking beer when i got her,why now? She can have some wine and other lady drinks.Beer,NO.

Stormy,that calif girl is still pining for a man thats long gone,whats up with that? And she wants to be uplifted…..uplifted from and to what?? Leave that gone man alone,he cheated on ur lame azz for a reason.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 12:34 PM | Link to this

encountering a new person bring about the chance for new GREATER possbilities…

Yeah Sexycool until it too becomes familiar. And the cycle continues.

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 12:34 PM | Link to this

Yeah Truth

What’s this I read bout “discipling a wife?” I wish you/he would. I’d have “A Battle Royale” for dat azz. I’m not adovacting violence…but ummmmh, “Houston we have a problem.” j/k bnr

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 12:38 PM | Link to this

..job/mate analogy..

Tazzee one thing is for sure, if the new position really is all that great to where you just can’t say no, you best believe you are not the only applicant applying.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 29, 2009 12:39 PM | Link to this

Tazzee Eventually, I plan to stop working and start my own business, which is where the analogy breaks down since I can’t create my own woman. lol I don’t believe in being too old to find another job. As long as I make sure my skills are valued, I can always find someone to pay me for it. Now, I do believe that there’s a point of diminishing returns, where finding another job doesn’t necessarily add anything to your life. At that point you should stop looking or risk losing what you’ve worked for.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 12:41 PM | Link to this

And you better be sure you are not the only one that will be working that position.

Graveyard shift = jumpoff.

By SexyCool - v2009 UnCut

January 29, 2009 12:44 PM | Link to this

exactly, raqi…exactly…

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 12:44 PM | Link to this

you best believe you are not the only applicant applying.

it took me a minute to realize this. i was always willing to let go and let him realize what’s up. it worked like a charm. but when he finally woke up, i was back at home in CA.

now he’s wanting to visit. yea right! lol.

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 12:44 PM | Link to this

Staceye I mean yes mistress. LOL A woman needs and wants to be checked. I’d rather let the children run afoul than the wife. The kids will smear the house with peanutbutter while the wife will nuke the whole set up. And that leather paddle with the sharp studs looks interesting.

Tazz alot of times the guys not necessarily looking to leave, just find a warm place to unload. It’s women that get all heated because there’s a chick to step in and do her job. That won’t be a problem when we get together because I kow you’re off the chain in real life, but thats our secret. Wink Wink

Beautiful don’t get too excited about any comments I make because I’ve been known to lie to increase my chances of releasing this poison. The comment was made based on the fact your so man starved you’d do anything to keep a guy, which isnt necesarrily a bad thing, except with psycho chicks.

KP just like a preacher. Raise noise and then leave without a solution. At least you and your church are consistent.

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 12:44 PM | Link to this

Staceye I mean yes mistress. LOL A woman needs and wants to be checked. I’d rather let the children run afoul than the wife. The kids will smear the house with peanutbutter while the wife will nuke the whole set up. And that leather paddle with the sharp studs looks interesting.

Tazz alot of times the guys not necessarily looking to leave, just find a warm place to unload. It’s women that get all heated because there’s a chick to step in and do her job. That won’t be a problem when we get together because I kow you’re off the chain in real life, but thats our secret. Wink Wink

Beautiful don’t get too excited about any comments I make because I’ve been known to lie to increase my chances of releasing this poison. The comment was made based on the fact your so man starved you’d do anything to keep a guy, which isnt necesarrily a bad thing, except with psycho chicks.

KP just like a preacher. Raise noise and then leave without a solution. At least you and your church are consistent.

By Miss QC

January 29, 2009 12:47 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon Bloggers

I believe you should always keep your options open it’s not that hard to do…TRUST Enjoy your day bloggers

www.blackthen.com

By Tazzee

January 29, 2009 12:49 PM | Link to this

Dreams ok, to put it plain, are you another one that doesn’t believe in marriage?

I may have missed that in one of your earlier posts.

Raqi I don’t know about you, but when I considering a new position I don’t look too kindly on jobs that have a high turnover rate. Either the job is too stressful or the employer is one that is never satisfied.

On the job analogy - most employers don’t start interviewing a replacement until I submit my resignation. If they plan on letting me go, there’s usually some sort of probationary period where they will let me know what I’m doing wrong and give me a chance to correct it. But they won’t have me working the job and then hire a temp on the side to back me up.

Unless the company is downsizing - then no one is safe, LOL.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 12:49 PM | Link to this

Dreams while you may not get to old to work you think, these days the only companies looking to hire new elderly employees is WalMart and McDonalds.

As oppose to staying with something that is working for you, putting in the time and retiring with it.

Love, honor, keep…’til death do you part.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 29, 2009 12:52 PM | Link to this

Raqi Who cares how many people are applying? If the feel an opporutunity is well-suited for the skills that I have, and it’s an upgrade, then I’m going for it. Life is competitive. If let myself be detered by how many people are interested, then I’d never get any job.

By AmazonRed

January 29, 2009 12:52 PM | Link to this

can’t be too psycho since you’re always commenting on how hot my booty is. lol.

Truth, you should be ashamed! lol

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 29, 2009 12:57 PM | Link to this

It has been my observation that one who gets tempted while in a relationship ultimately ends up with neither. The grass may appear to be greener, but what one usually sees is the “green”, forgetting that the “rough” is usually on the other side pretty close.

As the writing on the bathroom wall said, “remember, no matter how great she looks, there is someone, somewhere, who is sick and tired of taking her shyte”.

Personally, I think when tempted is a good time to remember the “Golden Rule” and think before you leap. How would you want your SO to treat you. As Andy Stanley said one day at North Point Community Church, the best question ever is this, “in light of my future goals and dreams, is this the WISE thing to do”. Then go from there.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 29, 2009 1:08 PM | Link to this

Tazzee Marriage is fine by me. Could be a job has a high turnover rate because no one has been able to do the job well either. I get what I can out of a job, just like they get what they can out of me. At some point I’ll find something where there is an optimal tradeoff between my capabilities and the compensation/benefits. But why should I continue to improve my skillset and stay with a job that won’t compensate me for that. If you don’t appreciate what I’m offering, then I need to go somewhere that does.

Raqi That’s a misconception. Most CEO’s are “elderly”, 55+ years old. Why would I be loyal to a company that I KNOW is not loyal to me. Just because it’s “working” for me doesn’t mean it’s the best I can achieve. In life, if you haven’t at least tried to achieve all that you’re capable of, then you’ve wasted your blessing. How insulting to the ONE who gave you those gifts.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 1:09 PM | Link to this

Dreams when I was out there dating I just did not take to well to the guys that admittedly had a 10 finger rotation. While I knew upon meeting someone he could very well be seeing someone else, I just knew that a man dating a multitude was probably not the one for me. Most guys that I know and knew that were looking for something meaningful and/or long term were only looking at a select few of resumes.

When meeting the guy that was just “all that”, I bounced. Especially the ones that had applicants or possibly currents calling in while I was sitting across from him.

That’s what I meant by that statement.

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 1:09 PM | Link to this

pooh bear you still don’t get it. lol. i’m being sarcastic/funny. i take nothing you post seriously or at heart anymore. except for when you’re speaking about the topic of course.

you’re one i can’t stay mad at. why? lol.

By Jazzyone

January 29, 2009 1:13 PM | Link to this

A woman wants and needs to be checked??…Lawd help me still spewing the same bullshyt up in this piece..Priceless…

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 1:15 PM | Link to this

Dreams The entry is not about someone not being loyal. It states that while in one relationship he met someone that could possibly be better. It did not state that there were present problems. It said would you risk chasing that something new just because it might be better. Based on limited information at that.

By Kara

January 29, 2009 1:15 PM | Link to this

you’re one i can’t stay mad at. why? Maybe you are a masochist?

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 1:18 PM | Link to this

hi dreams! men, like you, are blessed when it comes to this game we call dating. this is the reason for your comment. since the man has to initiate commitment and marriage, this is the reason for such comments from women.

now keeping your options open … i’m on the fence with this statement. i truly believe that you should work on and concentrate on what’s in front of you.

By MELO

January 29, 2009 1:19 PM | Link to this

applicants or possibly currents calling in while I was sitting across from him so,Raqi u wld be okay with me switching off my phone as we get to eat and know each other?? Is that a preferred respect modus operandi for u ladies.

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 29, 2009 1:19 PM | Link to this

DreamsMaterialize

At some point I’ll find something where there is an optimal tradeoff between my capabilities and the compensation/benefits.

Well stated. When I was a kid, people graduated from high school and got on at one of the local plants, had kids, and stayed there til they died. Those days have been gone for 15 or 20 years now. These days, an employer hires an individual typically for the position and nothing beyond. You might advance, but as often as not, companies fill from the outside. There is no loyalty on the part of the employer or the employee.

But why should I continue to improve my skillset and stay with a job that won’t compensate me for that. If you don’t appreciate what I’m offering, then I need to go somewhere that does.

True with one caveat. Always continue to develop those skill sets knowing that each new skill is another line on the resume…and leverage when you do move. Or at least it has worked well for me. I improved my skill set in each of the last three jobs, and made a pretty hefty leap each time. If I left here now, I have added several more lines to the resume that I am pretty sure I could parlay into a comfortable offer. I’m also lucky because in my particular skill sets demand still exceeds supply.

By SexyCool - v2009 UnCut

January 29, 2009 1:21 PM | Link to this

when it comes to me and looking over at the other side of the fence…i am always reminded of something my grandmother used to say…everything that look good to ya’ ain’t good for ya’..

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 1:21 PM | Link to this

Tazz are you another one that doesn’t believe in marriage? If more dudes looked into the whole marriage thing there would be 0 participation from mankind. It’s a fluck story at best. Most men will never come closer to being a crook, or at least treated like one, til he enters into a marriage.

Stormy I pay the bills so I have the priveiledge of laying down the law. That includes kids, dogs, hamsters, and wives. And yes you could wind up over my knee, though somehow that usually winds up going in another direction. And don’t listen to Staceye she knows she loves a “firm hand”.

Randy the “Golden Rule” is the one with the gold rules. And be careful of listening to a guy whose goal is to drain 10% of your income on a regular bases. For some reason I wouldn’t trust shyt he says.

Raqi Love, honor, keep…’til death do you part. That shyt is so meaningless they had to write it down so you could remember it, and still nobody does. Don’t bet your life on a catchy slogan.

Dayuum I wish I could mind fugg like the church does. They’re good, real good.

By Tazzee

January 29, 2009 1:21 PM | Link to this

Dreams so in a relationship do you look to see if something better is out there for you while in the relationship or do you leave the relationship first?

For me - that’s why the analogy doesn’t work. I have no problem interviewing for a new position while currently in one. But when I’m in a relationship and we’ve agreed that it’s going to be ‘just us’ there’s no exploring.

By NY2GA, Inc

January 29, 2009 1:21 PM | Link to this

Just because it’s “working” for me doesn’t mean it’s the best I can achieve. In life, if you haven’t at least tried to achieve all that you’re capable of, then you’ve wasted your blessing. How insulting to the ONE who gave you those gifts.

Enough said. Message.

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 1:22 PM | Link to this

kara darling, i was j/k. dayum y’all being ignorant today

By Blue_Kolla

January 29, 2009 1:25 PM | Link to this

Have you ever been tempted to explore your options with someone else, while keeping your significant other around?

Diva, ain’t that called game, and another reason to NOT have the exclusive convo or profess l-o-v-e?

Leggs I hope that you had your MEAN on while transporting the youngin’ to and fro, and not smiling at this young dude. Otherwise, he’ll telling this same story to his boys, but with a twist; AND he’ll be sniffin’ ‘round offering to cut your grass this spring… thinking that he’s caught himself a real Cougar. LOL

Jazzy A woman wants and needs to be checked??…Lawd help me still spewing the same bullshyt up in this piece..Priceless…

What up slim… I’ve taken a leave from this joint since late in 08, and I was thinking the same thing when I read the topic.

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 1:26 PM | Link to this

Hello Jtj

STOP..EVERYBODY. Listen, stay where you are with your mate and work on what needs working on if you plan on staying. All single men and women, don’t tolerate the BS that’s out there. Embrace being AND SLEEPING ALONE. Keep dates away from the children and love and respect yourself. Carry on (LOL)!

By Rell - 5000

January 29, 2009 1:28 PM | Link to this

@KP…i ask because you are young cat like myself that decide to turn his back on the world and lead a “christ like” life…i want to know why you did it…thats all

when i think it on it sometimes i feel like i would be boring…too many rules where you cant do this and that….etc etc…like do you have fun….then with women…you know those church women..they start calling sucking dizzle the devils work..like all you going to get for the rest of your life is missionary and thats if you lucky once a month..cause they are married to the lord first then you….i just look and trip out on it sometimes like are they really saved or is i a front…like when do you have fun..etc

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 29, 2009 1:30 PM | Link to this

Truth

be careful of listening to a guy whose goal is to drain 10% of your income on a regular bases. For some reason I wouldn’t trust shyt he says.

After looking at my taxes last night, I feel this statement for sure. Talk about being “fugged” and not kissed. When it comes to money, I never trust anyone but myself to look after MY interests. Not cheap, but not blind either.

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 1:31 PM | Link to this

Hello Jtj

STOP..EVERYBODY. Listen, stay where you are with your mate and work on what needs working on if you plan on staying. All single men and women, don’t tolerate the BS that’s out there. Embrace being AND SLEEPING ALONE. Keep dates away from the children and love and respect yourself. Carry on (LOL)!

By Dan

January 29, 2009 1:31 PM | Link to this

@Dreams

I’m with Rell on moving upward

Every job I’ve ever had, my “boss[es]” get mad at me becuase they realize that I don’t really work for them. I don’t work for the company either, I am my own boss.

While someone else’s name is on the check, I still go to work everyday and work for my own edification. That includes learning skills that the company wants to teach me, even though we both know I’m not a lifer.

So with relation to working I agree that you get them like they’re getting you.

By Kara

January 29, 2009 1:33 PM | Link to this

I pay the bills so I have the priveiledge of laying down the law

Can someone unthaw that neanderthal and hand him a dictionary while you’re at it.

By Blue_Kolla

January 29, 2009 1:38 PM | Link to this

Rell ….then with women…you know those church women..they start calling sucking dizzle the devils work..

Au Contraire! Now you know the biggest freaks in any city/town/village are sitting in pews 1-5 on any given Sunday.

By SexyCool - v2009 UnCut

January 29, 2009 1:40 PM | Link to this

dan…you’re 131p is on point…cosigning hard…lol…

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 1:45 PM | Link to this

1:26 great post and was what i’ve been trying to post all morning. lol.

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 1:46 PM | Link to this

Kara welcome back disgruntled black broad. I take that back. Not really.

By Blow Me - I got a BIG EGO.....I can back it up!

January 29, 2009 1:47 PM | Link to this

beautiful Who the hell is pooh bear?

By Storm

January 29, 2009 1:53 PM | Link to this

There will ALWAYS be someone prettier, or more handsome, with more money and a better lifestyle.

But if you go into a relationship thinking this is good until I find something better, you will be a very lonely person.

The grass always LOOKS greener, but it isn’t.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 1:56 PM | Link to this

Tazzee it’s funny comparing jobs to relationships. It’s like hearing that Boris Kodjoe is newly available and all the women who thinks they can get him starts stepping out on their perfectly good mates vying for his attention. Just because he might be better. LOL

While it’s the same, it’s not the same.

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 2:00 PM | Link to this

stormy yep!

comparing jobs to relationships … yea that is funny!

By MELO

January 29, 2009 2:05 PM | Link to this

we need to send some of u to Chicago,so u can join Jesse jackson at his church.Hiz illusionary slogan,keep hope alive might suit sme of u real well,esp u beautiful.At ur age,u need to be slinging that azz and showing what u got instead of just holding on,day dreaming and sleeping alone.Ur pudsy aint getting any younger,nor sweater! And the BIG qstion wld be who are u saving it for?? Some of u aint good at anything,really.U cant keep a man,u have one u complain,u cannot let the man be the man,u pout too much.LWAD have mercy!! Pudsy,like money,is what makes the world go round.Thats what oils fun and entertainment.When some of u get a grip on that,ur lives will get jerked up a lil.

By lurker

January 29, 2009 2:08 PM | Link to this

Truth the blog’s hero If the chicks on here had a large amount of viable men pursuing them they’d do exactly what men do, sample.

Really it’s sad dude that you’re as jaded as you are. Seriously. Again, just because your personal experience granted you the ability to misuse and mistreat women with no recourse is by no mean a standard to all women, what we are and what we tolerate. All I can do is SMH.

Tazzee Furthermore - as has been said before - why do we need to lie on a blog?

Cosign

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 2:08 PM | Link to this

I turned pass The Bachelor the other night and I was thinking it’s a shame there are 50 women (maybe not that many but imma say 50)…but there are 50 women scratching and clawing for this one man when there are so many other eligible good men out there to be gotten.

You ask yourself what make them do it. The fact that competing for him gives them airtime? Yeah, if that’s their ultimate goal then they do it. I really don’t see any other reason to go that route. It’s a price to pay knowing that he is kissing you today and another tomorrow and a different the next and so on.

While there stands a very slim chance that true love could possibly find its way into these types of situations, only one has proven it. The rest either got their 15 minutes of fame and are forgotten, or got what they really was in it for, their own spot on tube.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 29, 2009 2:11 PM | Link to this

Raqi Your comparison with Boris is a little off. First, who says Boris is “better”, and who says he’s “better” for you? Second, everyone might not have the qualifications necessary to get with Boris, if he is indeed “better”. You don’t go after a job you don’t qualify for. You also don’t go after a job because everyone else thinks it’s “better”. If I go after a job it’s because they’ve usually contacted me or I’ve found out they’re looking for someone with my particular set of skills. Now, if Boris got at your directly, and you thought he was “better” for YOU, then you’d be well within your rights to consider him. Now, if you know that Boris isn’t interested in someone like you, then there’s no point getting your hopes up.

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 2:16 PM | Link to this

why do we need to lie on a blog? i’ve been posting this for months. lol. i guess to protect their blog rep … which is a sad thing to have.

By Kara

January 29, 2009 2:19 PM | Link to this

it’s comical that you call me disgruntled, projecting much?

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 2:20 PM | Link to this

Take Hoopz, Flava Flav and NewYork. From the reruns that I saw it seems that NewYork may have been really feeling him. And his money. But she seemed the sincere of them all. But he booted her for a better looking model he says. Even Ray Charles could see that Hoopz wasn’t really there. She was there for something but it sure wasn’t him. She proved that in the end.

And not only that NewYork came back for second time and she got the boot again. If he was really looking for love, it was right there with her. But first he chose the better looking model that let him down. And second…well after the first time he saw how many women were willing to kiss a frog to be on stage, so he went with it.

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 2:20 PM | Link to this

i take myself out of the Bachelor situation when i realize i’m dead in the middle of it.

why does a woman give the man the power to choose?

By Blow Me - I got a BIG EGO.....I can back it up!

January 29, 2009 2:22 PM | Link to this

Beautiful Who is pooh bear?

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 29, 2009 2:24 PM | Link to this

A woman needs and wants to be checked Truth I guess that makes sense to YOU in your twisted caveman world! Whatever helps you sleep at night hun! LOL

Stormy See Truth wants a woman who is dumb enough to think his way is the rigth and only way. he also wants a housewife with real skills except, cooking, cleaning, baby making & having so she has no job no financial contribution to the household so he can manipulate her into thinking she needs him. But in that way she does because she was not smart enough to get real skills and a real job to contribute…so he can play the I am boss and like a slave she takes it. That is why I will never let a man take care of me.

Kara LMAO…loe your 1:33 post!

By Blue_Kolla

January 29, 2009 2:28 PM | Link to this

Melo At ur age,u need to be slinging that azz and showing what u got instead of just holding on,day dreaming and sleeping alone.Ur pudsy aint getting any younger,nor sweater! And the BIG qstion wld be who are u saving it for?? Some of u aint good at anything,really.U cant keep a man,u have one u complain,u cannot let the man be the man,u pout too much.LWAD have mercy!! Pudsy,like money,is what makes the world go round.Thats what oils fun and entertainment.When some of u get a grip on that,ur lives will get jerked up a lil.

Whoaa Bruh, I think you just smacked a few broads in the mouth. LOL

…but there are 50 women scratching and clawing for this one man when there are so many other eligible good men out there to be gotten.

Come on now Raqi. Isn’t that the same scenario going on with every local dating scene in America; evidenced by women commonly speaking the words, “All the good men are either married or gay.”

There are plenty of good brothers out here. They just ain’t falling for the okey doke - that boolshyt that some of the strong broads on this very blog like to brag about. LOL

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 29, 2009 2:30 PM | Link to this

Raqi

re: The Bachelor

I flipped over to it a few times during commercials on “24”. It hit me that the whole idea of “competing” for love is screwed up, a totally artificial environment. You can manufacture sex, but you cannot (IMHO) manufacture love. Totally artificial. If relationships are to be built on trust, then how could one really trust any of the ladies knowing they are “competing” for my affection?

While on the subject, the whole idea of seducing a lady always seemed to be a little strange to me. I heard years ago, and have frankly not seen a lot to dispute it, that a woman knows in the first few minutes if she is going to sleep with you. Lovemaking just happens if the mood is set and the environment is right…why try to make something happen that will happen anyway if the two are interested? Then it is a joint decision and all just comes together. Maybe my experiences are different, but I guess I have not had to work for it…it just happens.

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 2:31 PM | Link to this

truth the millionaire matchmaker is coming back on. i think i’ll skip this season. she found a woman this time who has money.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 2:31 PM | Link to this

Dreams that’s what I’ve been saying the entire time. Who knows that he is better? However some woman if given the chance will put all she has on the line because she may think so.

Boris Kodjoe is only fairly nice looking. He is a terrible actor but women still swoon over him. If you got a room full of women and asked them if they would like to go on a date with BK I guarantee you there will be some in there who are already in a relationship that will do it. Not because they know he is better but because who he is and what they assume him to have may seem better. Even if its not.

That’s the thing. The original entry did not say the other woman was actually better. She seemed better. He has not yet entered into a relationship to see if it is at all true. And as I said earlier he did not express that there were problems in the present relationship. The limited information that he had made it just seem.

And just because some don’t have the “qualifications” as you put it does not stop them from throwing all on the line and trying. Just to end up with neither.

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 2:31 PM | Link to this

Truth

“Firm Hand” = Ike/Tina & Sophia/Harpo action going on…..you might walk ova but u gon limp back, my friend.

Leggs

Gurl pass me the vasoline.

Beautiful

Gurl….hold my Gucci Stiletto’s and my Remi ponytail.

By Dan

January 29, 2009 2:34 PM | Link to this

To add to BK’s 2:28 (cosigning BTW)

and expand on Raqi’s 2:20

Between Hoops and New York. Hoops was the “better” model than New York (who may have been feeling Flav, eww).

But NY wanted to change Flav and let it slip that she was going to try and run his life…+ there’s her mama and the hen pecked husband. Flav saw his future and rightfully ran for the hills.

Hoops, while maybe not even liking dude, at least played her role and put up few barriers to them being together.

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 2:37 PM | Link to this

Staceye your wrong. I dont want to get married. Maybe in your fantasy shyt is 50/50 but in reality its not going down like that. The main reason most of you chicks will never get married. The bottom line is alot of shyt happens “out there” but its not going down like that in my home. I’ll never be like these dudes trying to work overtime because he doesn’t want to come home to his nagging azz wife. He should have checked her azz the first time she did it and every time after that. And when I say check I mean whatever it takes to impress upon that chick that thats not how its going down in here. Some can handle words while others need alternate methods but whatever is necesary we’re going to resolve this shyt tonight so we can either go on or go our seperate ways. Either is cool with me.

Dating is a tough but the secret is being 1/16th tougher than your mate, otherwise you have to take the bottom bunk.

Thing is when you buck and a dude doesnt set you straight you lose respect for him and we konw its a wrap after that. We MAY not survive using my methods but we CANNOT survive using yours.

Here we go again with the I want something but I want to tell you how to give it to me too. Sorry, it just doesn’t go down that way.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 2:39 PM | Link to this

BlueK I am not actually sure what you are saying, but the fact that there are some good men out there is what I was stressing. These woman (and the men on the opposite show) obviously are there for more than meets the eye. Like I said some for a spot on stage. The ulterior motive at its best. While some are scratching and clawing for the one, they are telling Hollywood, hey look at me. I am over here. Or anyone else they want to see them. And some just for the money that could be gained.

By Jazzyone

January 29, 2009 2:40 PM | Link to this

Blue Honeslty still on the same page fuh real…. I’m great how are ya??

By Jazzyone

January 29, 2009 2:45 PM | Link to this

Blue Honeslty still on the same page fuh real…. I’m great how are ya??

By kimmie

January 29, 2009 2:51 PM | Link to this

But NY wanted to change Flav and let it slip that she was going to try and run his life…+ there’s her mama and the hen pecked husband. Flav saw his future and rightfully ran for the hills.

Dan - I saw that mess. You do realize that was all a setup for TV right? NY had it in the bag and then suddenly she snapped and came at Flav with all that control stuff, when before she was saying and doing all the right things. It made for much better tv to have him reject her a 2nd time! Also, I heard by then she had already signed a deal to have her own show, so she & Flav had to make it look like he rejected her legitimately. There was never any love in the equation!LOL!! I heard on a few radio stations soon after he picked Hoops that Hoops contracted something too. All a hot, nasty mess!

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 2:54 PM | Link to this

you might walk ova but u gon limp back, my friend.

lmao. i’m stealing this from you! don’t hurt ‘em.

By MELO

January 29, 2009 2:57 PM | Link to this

2.37 is really how it goes dwn for those happily married folks.A man sets the rules and as adults,u expect u dont have to repeat that list of dos and donts every time in the home.When and if u do,that means that woman aint coinvinced enough and she wants to bail.A clever and informed man will allow her to go.Otherwise allowing an unhappy woman in ur camp is inviting trble,if not death. Those females who say they wont allow a man to set rules are either coming outa dsyfunctional homes, so they dnt know better,are ill informed or they know the truth but are just angry that its not turning out the way they want.Its simple. Most single and so-called independent females are angry.At an instant,they can go off on u and tell u that they dont take this or that crap.Its Bottled anger and ready to explode!!

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 2:57 PM | Link to this

Stormy you dont want to talk about things you know nothing about. Sit over there and chill.

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 3:04 PM | Link to this

honestly ladies, who would kiss flav in the mouth with tongue and saliva all over the place for fame and fortune?

i’d have to pass. everytime i see him i cringe. but he has good lookin’ kids though. lol.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 3:04 PM | Link to this

Randy Love cannot be manufactured is the stone cold truth. You can fake a lot of things but true love is not one.

However I disagree with you on not seducing your woman. Seducing for me is the act of showing desire or want for other. I seduce my husband at times when I desire him and him for me. It’s not even so much as convincing in my book as it is a dance. Instead of “let’s have sex”, we at times perform the dance of seduction. It can start way before you get to the bedroom. It can start early in the morning as we leave the house and not materialize the acts in want until we return back again.

And we all are capable of being seduced. I like being seduced. It’s not that I don’t desire my husband but seduction is just so…Hot. I can not think of too many occasions where I wasn’t feeling it however in the end was not more than happy that I allowed myself to be seduced.

The time for love will not always be in harmony for us. That’s why we are both open to seduction because we care to please each other. It’s not fair to only give love when you are feeling it.

Hold on one second Randy…

By Deeza

January 29, 2009 3:06 PM | Link to this

At least you have the buffet of women that Atlanta has to choose from. I wish I could be back home it the “A”. Mississippi doesn’t have a buffet. Continue to gamble, have fun, but play safe if you know what I mean. Stay honest also. If you dont have a ring on your finger then you are still single. That’s what married women tell me. And oh yea, they (married women) are the worst.

By Wise Diva

January 29, 2009 3:07 PM | Link to this

Most single and so-called independent females are angry. <== just wow LOL!! So wait.. Are the angry because they are single and independent? and does this mean that most submissive, codependent women are blissfully happy?

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 3:07 PM | Link to this

Truthless

I hear yah….but I ain’t one of those “Yes Dear” type of chicks. LOL

Besides Beautiful and Staceye got my back. :)

By kinderbabe

January 29, 2009 3:07 PM | Link to this

Have you ever been tempted to explore your options with someone else, while keeping your significant other around? I can’t say I have. Even w/the quirks in our relationship, i wouldn’t risk it for a quick fix. What are your dating ethics when it comes to this type of situation? Do you ask for space to take a chance with someone else? I wouldn’t ask for space to take a chance w/some random guy. If I comitted to a relationship w/someone, I had a good reason. Space equals, it’s over, we’re done. Not, I want to make sure you are my best option..lol.

Why do you think we take chances with our relationships? Since most are never truly ever satisfied w/anything, mostly themselves, it’s hard to be satisfied w/anyone or anything else.

Have you ever been dating someone, when someone much more appealing tempts you? How did you handle it? Yes, but I just kept it in context as a passing occurence. Never met anyone that I thought was worth breaking up w/my current for. If it was meant to be, we’d meet again when I’m single.:)

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 3:11 PM | Link to this

i will allow my future husband to lead. but i will not sit back and let him make stupid mistakes … bad financial decisions, etc. while i lead him in the right direction, i’ll still stroke his ego so he’ll know that he is still KING.

By Get Educated

January 29, 2009 3:11 PM | Link to this

Leggs….I know your intentions are good but do you realize that what you did legally meets the defination of “Kidnapping”. Just thought you would want to know.

By Rell - 5000

January 29, 2009 3:12 PM | Link to this

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=6734449&page=1

By MELO

January 29, 2009 3:15 PM | Link to this

does this mean that most submissive, codependent women are blissfully happy?No,but problem with most single,lonely chics is they think there is a perfect marriage.Keep looking and keep hope alive!!

Are the angry because they are single and independent? yes.Single and independent has become a popular and misused slogan to hide the inside pain. Most females have a desire for that unatainable status(marriage),others, due to no fault of their own,but their upbringing,they cant get there.

By Poppa Grande

January 29, 2009 3:25 PM | Link to this

Truth

I get what you are saying more or less…

You are saying in relationships there have to be rules and boundaries. When those rules/boundaries are crossed there has to be consequences that the non-rule violator gets to choose.

You can’t break the law and then tell the police how they will punish you.

I wouldn’t go as far as violence b/c I’ve learned that there are far better ways to get that point across.

Females understand this phenomenon. I’ve even read Raqi mention sending someone to sleep on the couch. That is a form of punishment for something.

It is kind of like the old saying..”.When you cross me, I will give you some choice words that I get to choose.”

as for the topic itself

It is an age old question…whether you are from the “Its cheaper to keeper” camp or “Upgrade ya” camp. I just think that it is a debate that has happened for quite some time. It is a personal question of the individual. I know people that the got what they wanted from this approach and I know people that lost everything from this approach. It is a gamble as many things in life are.

Stormy

I see that you’ve been listening to Grandma from the Nutty Professor again. I’ve used that line many a time.

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 29, 2009 3:25 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

I conveyed the wrong message. I meant seeing a lady somewhere, at a club, or a social event, and seducing her, not seduction in a relationship.

In a relationship, I agree with everything you just said in your post and frankly use it pretty much naturally, i.e. the slow dancing in the kitchen, the making her coffee, the foot massages…the little acts of seduction. Those are not just great, but I think guys who forget them miss out on more than they can imagine. Somewhere along the line, I realized what works and what does not.

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 3:27 PM | Link to this

lawd jeezus! angry women didn’t get angry by themselves. lol. i would have to give the comments re single, independent, angry women thumbs down.

stormy you single in GA?

By SexyCool - v2009 UnCut

January 29, 2009 3:27 PM | Link to this

i have been reading the seven habits of highly effective people…one of the chapters of the book deals with interdependence…

so many people seek independence as the highest level of development when really interdependence is the goal we should be seeking to reach…

it means that i am independently able to care for me…you are independently able to care for you…however…if we interdependently coexist (the best of me and the best of you) then we have reached a level of relating that makes us both stronger…

By MELO

January 29, 2009 3:33 PM | Link to this

angry women didn’t get angry by themselves so basically u agree!,u just want blame to be apportioned.We know to whom u targetting!!

Stormy is happily married by her account,u not in same boat!! lol

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 3:37 PM | Link to this

LOL Randy yeah that is totally different from what you said up top. So I guess my following continuation post is just because I already typed it.

In this true world we live in the euphoria just doesn’t sync like that from one day to the next. We aren’t wired like that no matter how much time we have spent with someone.

You mentioned the environment being right, that’s seduction. For me seduction can be a few words, a look, a touch, or an environment.

If I go home tonight, since my son is at his father’s, cook Mase’s favorite dinner, set the table with a linen table cloth, candles, flowers, throw white rose pedals on the bed, I won’t will not have to say word. I set the seduction environment.

So while agree that love making happens when you are in love, it’s never been said that it does not have to be initiated one.

Sometimes I may sitting in the bed typing on my notebook, reading something or watching tv and Mase will lean over and kiss my neck, I will say or think “I’m glad you mentioned that”. Have yet to find a problem with seduction.

However, as to your 3:25 posts, wooing ain’t bad either. LOL But maybe I can get what you are saying. But then again, to show someone you are interested is rarely a bad thing. You approach someone that you would like to meet and you proceed to show them why or how you good be the perfect addition to their life. It’s all a form of seduction.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 3:41 PM | Link to this

Sexycool good point. It’s easy to go it alone, but to coexist, happily, is a degree above many.

Two separate personalities, with two separate upbringings and two separate lives relating…

By For Real

January 29, 2009 3:42 PM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!

I see yall still missing the point. KP I see you still pumping the myth to the ladies. Here it is for yall.

ITS NOT ABOUT THE GRASS ON EITHER SIDE OF THE FENCE, ITS ABOUT THE PERSON IN THE MIRROR. LIKE MY PAW-PAW USE TO SAY “IF YOU WANT TO SOLVE A PROBLEM BETWEEN TWO PEOPLE START WITH YO SELF!” NOW REPEAT AFTER ME:

A-C-C-O-U-N-T-A-B-I-L-I-T-Y

That’s right, if you are not happy it’s your mitty ficky fault!!!!

ANY AND EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE, IT’S YOUR MITTY FICKY FAULT!!!!!

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 3:42 PM | Link to this

Thanks Melo for answering for me. What would I do without you. LOL

Beautiful

I am happily married to the greatest guy as Melo stated.

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 3:45 PM | Link to this

Blue, you know it. Mean mugging all the way. Too funny, his older brother (around 16) cut my grass this past summer.

Melo, I just got back to my desk and I’ll say this to you - STFU and go sit in the corner w/that 2:05 post!

By Beautiful

January 29, 2009 3:46 PM | Link to this

wow! RW just pulled up with lunch. giggle. read y’all tomorrow.

By Poppa Grande

January 29, 2009 3:46 PM | Link to this

SexyCool

I read and actually own a copy of that book. I actually agree.

Hence my stance against the Independence woman mantra. It isn’t a matter of being afraid. It is that it is just so counterproductive. If you tell a dude that you don’t need him, he won’t take you serious as a mate. He will use you for what he wants.

No human on this planet is independent. We need each other. Even if you have your own business, you are dependent on customers for income.

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 29, 2009 3:48 PM | Link to this

Raqi

Good we are back on the same page. Wooing is fine, showing interest is fine. I guess I am just too lazy to work hard just to get $#^&*. That seems to come pretty natural for me (except when I was married LOL).

A touch, a kiss out of the blue at the right moment, touching a lady’s cheek in an affectionate way with the back of one’s hand (not slapping, touching lightly…given some of the blogs on here, I figure I need to clarify that), a compliment without an “okay lets go *&^%, I’ve told you how pretty you are” following it.

Seduction in this context is good… and rewarding. Or at least it works for me.

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 3:48 PM | Link to this

Poppa

That’s one of my favorite lines from that movie. “Come on Cletus……”LOL

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 3:50 PM | Link to this

Blue, you know it. Mean mugging all the way. Too funny, his older brother (around 16) cut my grass this past summer.

Melo, I just got back to my desk and I’ll say this to you - STFU and go sit in the corner w/that 2:05 post!

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 29, 2009 3:51 PM | Link to this

For Real

Man, you ARE FOR REAL. No shyte, what has happened to personal responsibility? You brought it man, they need to post that on every corner.

By MELO

January 29, 2009 3:52 PM | Link to this

If you got a little wang, God has a sense of humor!!! aint that right.For Real?!!!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 29, 2009 3:53 PM | Link to this

Remi Oh yes mami..can’t be fighting wiht the remi hair in…you gotta take that off. That is good money and hair! LOL

truth I don’t want to get married so it doesn’t bother me either way. I don’t wnnat to end up on an episode of Snapped! LOL

melo Your 2:57 is pure bullsh*t. I guess that is why men in Africa marry child brides…they are young and moldable into slaves. They grow in body but not in mental maturity! If it were legal here some pervs would do it too.

Wise Are the angry because they are single and independent? and does this mean that most submissive, codependent women are blissfully happy? Sad to say in the twisted minds of some boys in men’s bodies…that actually makes sense! It’s sad! I guess I will be an Angry…but happy chick! LOL

beautiful You are better than me girl….I don’t stroke egos! You either know what you have or you don’t. No time for diaper changes on grown azz men! Now I will give a pep talk and support a man in his positive aspects. But I will let him know when he messes up and that I will not be going that route with him. I am not going to hell with somebody. If go it’s because I did it…not because I was led. LOL

By Kym-Knowledge Junkie

January 29, 2009 3:55 PM | Link to this

I think the blog ate my first post…oh well. Afternoon people.

By Poppa Grande

January 29, 2009 3:57 PM | Link to this

For Real

I cosign that 3:42. 100%.

My dad and granddads told me the same thing. It was part of their “a man is only as good as his word “seminar that they would get into all of the time. It all relates back to accountability.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 4:01 PM | Link to this

Randy you last post just made me think back to the box of time when our lives and responsibilities pretty much had Mason and I scheduling appointments to spend time together. The quality of time we spent together (not just sex) was way much more fulfilling than settling for getting random substandard time in and sex just to have quantity.

In other news…I read somewhere that marriage is easy when you work hard at it.

By MELO

January 29, 2009 4:06 PM | Link to this

Staceye i aint gonna mess nor knock ur stance coz who knows, i may be knocking on that door smetime in the future.U got a real phine azz!!

If u wanna know how happy it feels on the other side,ask stormy or raqi,not me.They may dish u their deepest and very bottom barrel secrets.There are no guarantees, coz married folks’ secrets are closely guarded!

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 4:09 PM | Link to this

PG you gotta have all the gears in you to function in this market. Some of these chicks actually believe the shyt they’ve been telling themselves.

One of my boys had a dog that was looney, would try to bite anyone that got near him. I had him put on my collar and leash and hand me the leash. When ol boy went for it I hung his azz til a second before he passed out. When I set him down he was a new dog. Chicks aren’t dogs but alot are bythces. LMAO My point is we can go as far as necessary, and then a little farther. Whatever the infraction is no longer the point. The real issue is your trying to check me, and thats not happening. If you’re not checking that chick she’s checking you. There is no 50/50 to it. Happiness is when both parties are comfortable with their roles.

Kara where’d your unhappy, disgruntled azz go? You use us for times when you and your girlfriend get in a fight. You dump on us then leave. That aint right.

Das I dont know if you’re lurking but I have to give you a big blog hug and booty rub. I got some things off the demon that are off the chains. Thank for that intro.

By MELO

January 29, 2009 4:09 PM | Link to this

The quality of time we spent together (not just sex) sexx is alwayz in there hah??!! TELL THEM GIRL,TELL THEM!

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 4:10 PM | Link to this

melo

Your 2:57 is pure bullsh*t. I guess that is why men in Africa marry child brides…they are young and moldable into slaves. They grow in body but not in mental maturity!

OMG, Staceye….I don’t think he was ready for that…he did not see that coming. Gurl…you cut straight to the quick.

Melo

Been hit in the head with a 1,2 combo followed by a left jab and a body shot. Now he’s got the rubberband legs…is he going down for the count?

By Rell - 5000

January 29, 2009 4:10 PM | Link to this

@for real…man that sh it is funny but so true…..i deal with me..thats why i am ok….i dont trip off what she do no mo…cause its all on me

By Tazzee

January 29, 2009 4:10 PM | Link to this

For Real you are so right. A certified nut, but right, LOL.

By Demi

January 29, 2009 4:13 PM | Link to this

On the real, ladies go check out “Not Easily Broken”.

It’s not the best movies out by a long shot, just very thought provoking.

After watching that flim…I can see it now…Demi is going to be single for a long time.

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 4:14 PM | Link to this

Melo look at what ForReal wrote. If you ain’t it’s your fault. Happiness is a state of mind. I choose to be happy over and above the things that I don’t like about my husband as well as myself. I choose to be happy over and above the sacrifices that I must make to live this life within this union.

So if you are not happy it’s because you choose not to be. Have you told your “queen” how you feel? Maybe you should so she can move out and move on.

Marriage is only an addition to my life. And in the state I am in I find happiness.

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 4:20 PM | Link to this

Get Educated, perhaps it meets the defnition. I ride these kids arounds all the time. They know I don’t play. Reason why he got in my car. Known them all since they were 6. I have carte blanc from their parents to do the right thing. I would never abuse it. I only try to parent when I see them doing something foolish and I can help easily rectify the situation. I didn’t pick up a stranger. But, thanks for the lookout!

By Kara

January 29, 2009 4:21 PM | Link to this

It’s painfully obvious that you didn’t get enough attention as a child. Am I supposed to be offended that you keep implying that I am a lesbian?

By MELO

January 29, 2009 4:22 PM | Link to this

Have you told your “queen” how you feel? about what?? she is the most content woman and so am I.I cldnt ask for a more motherly and queenly woman!

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 4:25 PM | Link to this

Get Educated, perhaps it meets the defnition. I ride these kids arounds all the time. They know I don’t play. Reason why he got in my car. Known them all since they were 6. I have carte blanc from their parents to do the right thing. I would never abuse it. I only try to parent when I see them doing something foolish and I can help easily rectify the situation. I didn’t pick up a stranger. But, thanks for the lookout!

By Poppa Grande

January 29, 2009 4:28 PM | Link to this

Melo

she is the most content woman and so am I.

Are you coming out of the closet on us?! I didn’t know that you were a content woman.

Wow! Learn something new er’ day.

j/p..just bustin’ your chops.

By MELO

January 29, 2009 4:28 PM | Link to this

Another coward has caused a murder suicide in Ohio

By Raqi

January 29, 2009 4:28 PM | Link to this

On tomorrow’s episode of Misadventures we will bring to you

“A House Divided” The wife lives in bliss while the husband in misery. Starring: Melo and Queen.

You all have a good one.

By Demi

January 29, 2009 4:29 PM | Link to this

ANY AND EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE, IT’S YOUR MITTY FICKY FAULT!!!!!

Helllllllll Yeah!!! I am trying to the pull the butterfly effect now…Gotta change my past!!

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 4:30 PM | Link to this

BTW, ForReal’s 3:42 is on point. Don’t wait until “the straw that breaks the camel’s back” come into the picture. Do what’s right for YOU right NOW!

By Steely Dan

January 29, 2009 4:32 PM | Link to this

It’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.

By MELO

January 29, 2009 4:34 PM | Link to this

where u get the misery figment of ur imagination?

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 4:35 PM | Link to this

BTW, ForReal’s 3:42 is on point. Don’t wait until “the straw that breaks the camel’s back” come into the picture. Do what’s right for YOU right NOW!

By For Real

January 29, 2009 4:37 PM | Link to this

I don’t know why, I just wanted to…

I knew a girl named nikki

I guess u could say she was a sex fiend

I met her in a hotel lobby

Masturbating with a magazine

She said howd u like 2 waste some time

And I could not resist when I saw

little nikki grind

She took me 2 her castle

And I just couldnt believe my eyes

She had so many devices

Everything that money could buy

She said sign your name on the dotted line

The lights went out

And nikki started 2 grind

For Real now doing the Prince dance and ends it in a split while starring at Tazzee.

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 4:39 PM | Link to this

Kara stay and play with us. We need a chick with facial hair to spruce things up a little.

Melo thats wild. Once one cat does it and the others jump on board.

By Tazzee

January 29, 2009 4:40 PM | Link to this

Yup - certified, LMBO!

By Cemeeli

January 29, 2009 4:42 PM | Link to this

I know I’m all late peeking in here and all…but…Heeeey…:)

Play your cards right!!!

On topic: Take it slow…i tell ‘em…you’ve got to’ be patient…cain’t be rushin’ like it’s a race…

Jump. Hop. Skip. the fences to a new relationship like a grasshopper if you wanna…that next relationship gonna show you sumthin…

Give yourself a chance to think…rest…take your time…Which reminds me…

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 29, 2009 4:44 PM | Link to this

Demi

I am trying to the pull the butterfly effect now…Gotta change my past!!

“The Butterfly Effect” …an interesting movie but it made my head hurt trying to follow it at times.

I always heard that “you are where you are because that is where you choose to be”. In the long run, that is true.

By just saying

January 29, 2009 4:45 PM | Link to this

If you don’t live up to being accountable for your own actions and how you deal with others we can all be sure we’ll reap the rewards of our deeds

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 29, 2009 4:46 PM | Link to this

melo I am not answering the door man! LOL Leave my azz out fo this! I had it covered when I met you!

For Real You need Jesus! You crack me up every day! I wait for you and/or Slim to come on here and say something crazy! LOL

BTW..Darling Nikki is my song man!

Melo where did you hear about another murder suicide? I want to read it.

By Demi

January 29, 2009 4:46 PM | Link to this

Dayuum I wish I could mind fugg like the church does. They’re good, real good.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA HA HAAAAAAA!!!

By Kara

January 29, 2009 4:49 PM | Link to this

you fill that position quite nicely as it is, no need for duplicates

By Stormy

January 29, 2009 4:49 PM | Link to this

4REAL

I just don’t think she is that into you. LMAO

By The Truth

January 29, 2009 4:50 PM | Link to this

Staceye CNN.com. I ordered my guards last night

By MELO

January 29, 2009 4:51 PM | Link to this

CNN

By Demi

January 29, 2009 4:54 PM | Link to this

Randyt I agree…But Dayum life can throw you some nasty curve balls.

Demi is now going from swinging and missing to ducking and dodging

By For Real

January 29, 2009 4:56 PM | Link to this

Hold on Kara is a lesbian and Melo is a woman!?!?!? And yall call me certified????

For Real now standing at Wise desk looking like Al Green.

By MELO

January 29, 2009 4:56 PM | Link to this

nah nite

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 4:58 PM | Link to this

Goodnight everyone!

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the front door forever.

Be kind to someone. Offer a stranger a smile!

By Demi

January 29, 2009 5:00 PM | Link to this

Leave my azz out of this! I had it covered when I met you!

Staceye sorry sweetie, you can’t hide your bounce no matter how hard you try.

Now hit your meanest sista girl walk for all the fellas can see, LOL

By Tazzee

January 29, 2009 5:00 PM | Link to this

Have a great evening all!

By Leggs

January 29, 2009 5:03 PM | Link to this

Goodnight everyone!

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the front door forever.

Be kind to someone. Offer a stranger a smile!

By Reality Dose

January 29, 2009 5:17 PM | Link to this

What’s scary is when you feel this way after you are married. Do love my wife, but I have to be honest and say human emotions are very tricky.

I guess that’s where discipline has to come in.

By DEBRA

January 29, 2009 5:42 PM | Link to this

RELATIONSHIPS ARE FUNNY, AND OF COURSE NOTHING IS GUARANTEED. BUT I THINK FOR YOU TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU NEED TO BE COMMITTED. IF YOU’RE NOT COMMITTED THEN OF COURSE THERE IS NOT AN ISSUE WHETHER YOU SHOULD PERSUE THIS NEW INTEREST. AGAIN TO HAVE ANY RELATIONSHIP OF MEANING YOU MUST FIRST HAVE DEVELOPED TRUST AND COMMITTMENT. THERE ARE ALWAYS PRETTIER, MORE EDUCATED, WEALTHY, AND SAVY PEOPLE BUT ARE THEY WORTH LOSING WHAT YOU HAVE, AND THAT WOULD BE A TRUE RELATIONSHIP. KEEP IN MIND EVERYBODY LIKE TO HAVE A GOOD TIMES- TRY HAVING THOSE GOOD TIMES WITH THE MATE THAT YOU HAVE. GOOD LUCK——