Misadventures in Atlanta

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 8:53 AM | Link to this

I am trying to think in the unmarried sense to answer this question. It is by the way a good topic. What is one willing to do for their unmarried partner? How far is far enough and how far is too far?

Cohabiting? yeah I could see myself carrying the load alone until my s/o got back on his feet. I would also help him try to find employment and hopes that he does so before any savings that we may have together is depleted. I would expect him to be busting tables, sweeping floors, or washing dishes or something to help bring in some income. If it started to approach the 6 month period and things were not looking promising we would probably have to start talking about making other living arrangements. This could be him going to a family member or it could be us finding a roommate to move in and help take up some of the slack. If it gets closer to 9 months heading toward one year and he has absolutely no income coming in, then we definitely would be dissolving the living arrangements but not necessarily the relationship. But in all of this I will not tolerate him sitting on his behind every day doing absolutely nothing.

If a s/o and I were exclusively dating but not living together, I would try to help out as much as I could that to not put a strain on my own situation. I would be willing to give and loan money for the basic living expenses. But only to a limit. And I would still try to help him find employment.

This all would be contingent based on the give and take relationship that we would already be practicing. And even more so the length of time we have been dating.

Marriage is a whole other ball game.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 8:59 AM | Link to this

We talk about our must haves in mates on the forbidden “list”, but times like this is why “must (love to) work” is very, very close to the top of my list. It’s so close it’s number 1-1/2. A man that will work, will work even if it’s not in his desired field, to take care of his responsibilities. I am a believer in doing what it takes to make ends meet until you can get back where you need and want to be. Hauling trash, washing dishes, scrubbing toilets, while not every (wo)man’s dream, will get some of the bills paid. While I do understand it is not always that easy, I know I have been there, I do believe sincere efforts never go unrewarded.

That’s why you have always seen me write work ethics and habits are something I look at and consider. I know a layoff could happen to any of us on any given day however your attitude about work sheds light on how you will more than likely react to and after the situation.

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 9:07 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Hmmm I am all for helping a person get back in stride again. But like Raqi dude is going to have to show and prove. If we are living together then I would expect him to be up when I get up..looking for a job takes 8 hours a day-just like working So I could not deal with some guy laying around watching cartoons all day-while I work.

Of course, I am going to help carry the household..it is why I like the idea of the one salary household..that PoppaG mentioned. But I can’t see doing this for too long. I know marriage is a whole other ball game—and call me traditional but after 6 months(max for me) someone is going to have to push the hell on..cause I can’t see giving a dude an allowance. Hell I have a hard time driving and a man is sitting in the passenger seat…I know I will break out in hives if I have to leave some man a grocery list and money. That—That is just not natural IMO.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 23, 2009 9:08 AM | Link to this

Morning

Raqi I feel you on working whatever job you have to until you get back on your feet. When I lost my job, I worked third shift security so I could still look for jobs in my field and go on interviews during the day.

I don’t like anyone carrying the load for me, so I’ll do whatever I have to.

By MELO

January 23, 2009 9:10 AM | Link to this

If u and Roland are living together,but not married,u are as good as married.So u do what u wld do to him if u were husband and wife, legally and that is,support each other. Roland cld very well lose his business,just as u can lose ur job.Thats lyfe.If u cannot support him or he cant,that means none of u were in real love anyway.Whatever tests the relationship actually makes it stronger.Raqi,ofcourse u wld expect a partner to get whatever support they can get from their families but u dont abandon them nor support them based on what their family is doing.U do what u do coz u love them,however time it takes for them to get a decent job.Period!

By Foots

January 23, 2009 9:15 AM | Link to this

If I lost my job today, I have 10 years in so I’d get a pretty nice severance, thank God. And with my savings, I’d be good for a while. Since I am unmarried, I am my own obligation. My family would be a last resort, as in I might have to rent my house out and move in with my mom or sister if things got really terrible.

My SO and I have thrown around ideas about what would happen if either of us lost our jobs. It’s all been jokes so far, but I really think he would want us to combine households and move in together out of necessity if the worst happened. I don’t know how I feel about that.

I dated someone out of work before. We had previously dated for a year, broke up, became friends again, then started dating. During that time, he was laid off (9/11 economy issues). Not once did he ever ask me for anything. He was never on the verge of losing it all because he did have some money put away. And I respected him for doing the things that needed to be done to get back on his feet and for leaning on himself and his own abilities. He’s extremely successful now.

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 9:21 AM | Link to this

Dreams and Raqi I so agree..I dated a man once..who lost his job, collect unemployment but rather than sit home everyday he went to the labor pool and worked whateva odd jobs he could get until he got back on his feet. He could not see going back to live with family. Sorry but I believe..”Employment is sexy as hell.” even if you are digging ditches..do what it takes. Men are natural hunter/gathers.

By Foots

January 23, 2009 9:22 AM | Link to this

Dreams I don’t like anyone carrying the load for me, so I’ll do whatever I have to.

That’s a wonderful quality for a man to have.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 9:31 AM | Link to this

LOL Kym. The way I see it GDOL will give the allowance, but he better have his behind out there with his nose to ground trying to find work.

And you don’t to drive while your date is in the car with you? LOL I guess all of us have our thing. Back while dating I didn’t mind driving every now and then, however we weren’t going to always be using my car. Now that I do have a problem with. But I guess those type issues is something we can change the topic to a little later today.

Yes Dreams you have to do what you have to do. When I finally matured to figure out I have to do what I have to do, I worked a second job waiting and busting tables, cleaning buildings, loading trucks. While doing that I looked for better job opportunities starting right here within the company where I work. Once I started to advance I started to shed those extra jobs. Managed my money better. Learned to sacrifice and save. I was a single mother with two kids at the time. But I just did it. And it happened a lot quicker than most would think. Or rather the years flew by and I just didn’t realize it. I remember the day I opened my statement from the bank and actually saw how much money I had saved. I was shocked. Like I said sincere efforts never go unrewarded. I found that lifestyle and have been earnestly continuing to live it each day. Things are a lot better now than they were back then, but I still save a certain amount out of my check every week.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 23, 2009 9:35 AM | Link to this

Kym, Foots I believe in hard work. You can’t get ahead doing what everyone else is already doing. If you want to get ahead, then you have to do more than everyone else. You have to get up earlier, stay later, be awake when they’re sleep, work an extra job. I get deaf when I hear someone say they CAN’T find a job. There’s always jobs out there. I know ex-cons with jobs, and if they can get one, anyone can. When people say they CAN’T get a job, they really are saying there’s certain jobs they just won’t do. That’s bullsh_t.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 9:36 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone! I agree with all that stated I would help to a certain degree. Raqi’s timeframe seems good. Any form of income is better than none, so in that regard I would expect him to go out and bust tables, flip fries, anything to assist in paying household expenses.

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 9:39 AM | Link to this

Happy Friday everyone! I hope you guys have an exciting weekend planned!

I’ve never, in all of my relationships, had to comingle living or finances. Even still I would think about the scenarios if my guy were to have lost his job. In fact, he actually wanted to go back to school and I was thinking how we could make it work if we were planning for long term.

I’d be open to having him move in and renting out his place. That would free up a lot of money on both sides. It would have to be an emergency type situation and temporary as well, but I would consider it. Fortunately, nothing like that has ever happened.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 9:41 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone! I agree with all that stated I would help to a certain degree. Raqi’s timeframe seems good. Any form of income is better than none, so in that regard I would expect him to go out and bust tables, flip fries, anything to assist in paying household expenses.

By MELO

January 23, 2009 9:41 AM | Link to this

When people say they CAN’T get a job, they really are saying there’s certain jobs they just won’t do. That’s bullsh_t

say that again!!

By Stormy

January 23, 2009 9:46 AM | Link to this

Hello Everyone

Just to chime in on what has already been said….it’s during these times (pressure) situations that you see a person’s true character. If they are are resourceful, their work ethic and their priorties. You also see how they handle the situation mentally and emotionally. Anyhoo….

If I were single and my guy lost his job….I would be supportive to a point but not an enabler. I would assist with the job search, help with the resume and tap some contacts but I will look at him to show some initative in his job search.

Like Ragi said, I would help financially up to a $$ limit, especially if we were living together and try to be as supportive and encouraging as possible. But he would definately have to on his job hunt grind in the interim.

If we were not living together and things were taking a severe downturn, I would help him find viable solutions to take some of the pressure off (ie. getting a roommate, moving in with family or a friend , etc).

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 9:47 AM | Link to this

Raqi I am not sure what it is. I have driven a date before..but for whateva reason..looking over in the Passenger seat and seeing a grown man just sitting there while I navigate traffic..is just uncomfortable to me. I will do it but I am not going to say it does not irrate me.

Dreams You better type that again cause someone didnt read it. I was raised old school..my granny use to say..if you have to shovel shyt to keep a roof over your head and something in your belly, then you do it..and be the best one they have out there. I was talking with my sister one day about dating and all these folks who say ohh I would date a garbage man..and I couldn’t date a man on fries.

My sister said if he is going to work and paying bills..I will gladly have the washing machine ready for the funky clothes, the tub/shower running so he can wash, and a hot plate of food so he can eat…when he gets home. That man is doing what he needs to do to provide for his family so he is alright with me.

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 9:48 AM | Link to this

And if you, goodness forbid, lost your income, would it change the way you approach your relationship?

Heck yes! I wouldn’t be dating. Even as a woman. In the interest of having to tighten the belt, because I have no job, spending money out on the town is not an option. Even if the was picking up all the tabs, I’d still want to reciprocate from time to time.

Now if I was in an established relationship, we’d work it out.

By Stormy

January 23, 2009 10:02 AM | Link to this

If I lost my job while dating I would not expect my SO to contibute. I would appreciate his support and encuragement but it would be up to me to work it out…work at Mickey D’s, waitress, daycare or whatever I had to do until I got a better job….but I would be constantly grinding for better opportunity.

If I really got in a crunch….I could move back home w/family, stay with a friend. But that would be last resort.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 10:09 AM | Link to this

Now as for marriage is concerned every problem, issue and matter is our problem, issue and matter. I will support him and uplift him no matter what. We are building this thing together, so if a turn of events have him in a bad way, he knows he can lean on me.

By MusingLee

January 23, 2009 10:10 AM | Link to this

I have been in this situation before. I was working for a company when I met Mrs. MusingLee. After we decided to move in together my company restructured leaving me out of work for about 4 months. Not once did she waver on me. But I also never asked her to pay any of my bills during that time. I sucked up my pride and took a part time job with another organization. A few months later my old company came calling back and I kept both of those jobs. A few years later the second company liked me so much that they offered me nearly double the salary of the first company to come work for them….It was during this time that I knew I had found someone special. I knew I would marry her for that.

Musing also vowed that he would never be put in that position again.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 10:18 AM | Link to this

Of the few serious relationships that I have been in, The Nature Guy is the only one I could me giving the least. He worked while were together. He owned his own health food store. But he was sort of a live by the earth type of guy and I could see him using losing his business as an opportunity to “live by the earth”. He would be so okay with just seeing what each day is going to bring. Heck each day bring another day a bill needs to get paid.

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 10:20 AM | Link to this

Musing What up!!!! The keyword in all you said is the word..you. You sucked up your pride and took the part-time job. You didnt ask her to pay your bills. This reads to me that you took personal responsiblity..and that my friend is sexy..what woman would waver when a man does that?

It is when she comes home and dude is in a wife-beater with bbq sauce stains and looks at her like what’s for dinner? That she begins to hatch the escape plan.

By Dan

January 23, 2009 10:26 AM | Link to this

What up?

I’ve been unemployed before a couple of times.

As a really YDC (young, dumb, full of _) I had no idea about savings (how to or what they were for) and being unemployed caught me unaware. Keeping my hustle on, I meeked out a living for the few months before I found the job that I wanted.

The second time I was more prepared, I was sooo ret to go that I had been saving like a squirrel in winter. And when the time came, I turned my attention to furthering my career goals (learning taxes, writing my book, studying for my Series 6, 7).

I said all this to say that being unemployed is a strange, depressing, and weird time if you’re used to working. But how you channel that energy is as responsible for your future success as anything else.

Like Musings, I’d pull a third shift job and spend the morning looking for others.

When you have responsibilities, you do what you have to do. Pride doesn’t quell hunger, ambition can’t put clothes on your back, so if a-frying next to Blow it had gotten too then a-frying next Blow it would have been/ will be if necessary.

By Storm

January 23, 2009 10:26 AM | Link to this

After reading these comments, I can only say, the women in this blog are very greedy. You are in it for yourselves, no one else.

If you were truly in love, you would do whatever you had to do to support your partner. If that means you are the breadwinner for a year, then you are the breadwinner.

A partnership is just that - PARTNERS, through thick and thin, bad times, good times, for richer, for poorer. Not just for now, and we’ll see how things go. Not just for now, but if you loose your job, you will loose me too.

I aint supporting no man, that’s just not right. Unbelieveable.

How incredibly selfish. You people need to grow up.

By MusingLee

January 23, 2009 10:27 AM | Link to this

Kym Let me tell you, it was tough. I didn’t want to step down and take a “lesser” position…But I actually felt great about getting back to work regardless of what I had to do. Being out of work is worse than having a job you don’t like.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 10:27 AM | Link to this

I remember when my ex was laid off. I had ordered a pizza for dinner that night. The delivery man was this very elederly gentlemen. I must admit I was surprised. When I closed the door I said to my ex “did you see him? Do you think he wants this job of delivering pizzas. Probably not, but he’s doing what he needs to do to make ends meet. You too need to be doing something.” He said he’s not delivering any pizzas for anyone. One of the many beginning of the end!

Bottom line is be a man and do what you need to do to support yourself and if you have a family to help support the household.

MusingLee great story and glad you found the right woman and things worked out in your favor!

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 10:29 AM | Link to this

Musing I feel you. Mase and I were just talking one night, it was within this past several months when we all started to feel the troubles of our economy. He was kinda joking about us leaving our house and going to live in a two bedroom apartment if things got really rough. I told him without hesitation, smirk or grimace that I would live in a cardboard box with him. He said for that he would make sure I never would have to.

I think I got pregnant that night. In fact I am positive I did. LOL

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 10:32 AM | Link to this

I remember when my ex was laid off. I had ordered a pizza for dinner that night. The delivery man was this very elederly gentlemen. I must admit I was surprised. When I closed the door I said to my ex “did you see him? Do you think he wants this job of delivering pizzas. Probably not, but he’s doing what he needs to do to make ends meet. You too need to be doing something.” He said he’s not delivering any pizzas for anyone. One of the many beginning of the end!

Bottom line is be a man and do what you need to do to support yourself and if you have a family to help support the household.

MusingLee great story and glad you found the right woman and things worked out in your favor!

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 10:33 AM | Link to this

Thinking back to that night and knowing the state that I am in now I am wondering how I would have changed that answer.

hmmm

I wouldn’t have changed the answer because it’s true. But I would have turned my behind over and went to sleep after I said it. LOL j/k

By kimmie

January 23, 2009 10:37 AM | Link to this

Happy Friday Blog Fam!

I agree with about all the posts thus far. I was raised with a very strong work ethic. My dad believed in hard work - especially the men in the family. He was very old school and he believed in doing whatever to provide for the family. And if you moved back home after school or losing a job, he did not play the laying around! You better be up pounding the pavement everyday looking for work. I remember after I graduated from college, I moved back home and worked & after 2 years started grad school. During that first year, I had a week of paid vacation. Every single day my dad asked me why I was not at work and I would have to tell him I was on paid vacation and not just lazying around! It was kinda funny, but I knew where he was coming from. Even though he paid for my undergrad degree, I still had a part-time job at the bookstore so I never asked him or mom for money. I paid for grad school. I worked full time at Delta, went to grad school at night AND was a nanny for a little 10yr old when her dad(who was big time at Suntrust) had to go out of town. When I moved out on my own, my job still caused me to live on a tight budget, so I’ve delivered papers, bagged groceries at Publix and did yards/pulled weeds to make ends meet. A lazy man is a major turn-off. A job loss is bad, but it’s also a great way to see what a person is made of and how they handle diversity. I don’t mind helping an SO and have before, but you beter be willing to work as hard as I do!

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 10:37 AM | Link to this

Storm That is why America is so great..you believe what you want to believe..I believe what I want to believe. I believe dudes should work. If my grandfather could raise 13 kids while working a farm…or my uncle could raise 7 while working at a factory..or the gentleman Mr. Erbee(Varsity guy) work there 30 plus years and put his kids through college…then I do believe that some of these lazy, manicured hand having, whining b(h azz men folks can work to. There is not such thing as I am too good for this type of job. I have a thing about sleeping indoors and eating. So I am going to do whateva-within legal reason-to keep one foot forward and I expect that of any man.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 10:39 AM | Link to this

I’m hollering over here Raqi because turning your behind over would only have him turning you back for the front!

By MusingLee

January 23, 2009 10:39 AM | Link to this

Storm don’t be so hard on some of the blog ladies. Some people simply know just what they can deal with and for how long. I never thought about losing my job. I thought because I was good at my job and my boss liked me that I was safe. No one is safe unless you own the place. And my goal is to be my own boss, cause I’m never gonna fire myself. My wife never got openly frustrated with me being out of work. I’m sure she had her moments, but she knew that I was trying and we would not be down always.

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 10:39 AM | Link to this

If you were truly in love, you would do whatever you had to do to support your partner. If that means you are the breadwinner for a year, then you are the breadwinner.

A partnership is just that - PARTNERS, through thick and thin, bad times, good times, for richer, for poorer. Not just for now, and we’ll see how things go. Not just for now, but if you loose your job, you will loose me too.

Storm - I agree. That’s how it works when you truly love someone.

It does get sticky in dating situations, tho. I just boil it down to what I’d do for anyone I reallly cared about, like a family or a friend. Do unto others, ya know?

It’s clear from responses that folks have gotten burned by folks who’ve claimed to love and trust them. And there are people who will take advantage of you. So we do need to be mindful of that too and also to not enable folks either.

But at the end of the day, I agree with you.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 10:44 AM | Link to this

I’m hollering over here Raqi because turning your behind over would only have him turning you back for the front!

By MELO

January 23, 2009 10:48 AM | Link to this

LEGGS was that man a nuclear physiogemnalocaltunamist or what that he cldnt deliver pizza??

I think I got pregnant that night. In fact I am positive I did hw many rounds did it take???

By Dan

January 23, 2009 10:48 AM | Link to this

But there is a “I have a degree, or experience, and I don’t want to take a step back” mentality.

And quite frankly, it’s imperative to have that.

No one wants to work a job they hate just to pay the bills. The problem is, and Musing alluded to it, letting that be the end of it.

If you want more, you go out and get more. Sweep the floor if you have to, but take the extra time before bed to study that CFA.

Being un/underemployed is a reality in America, so is wanting “more”. But there are very few and far between that’ll do what it takes to get it in.

As for if my chick is willing to hold me down, that’s on her. Cuase I will get back on my feet and you find out who was down for you when you were down period.

By MusingLee

January 23, 2009 10:48 AM | Link to this

Leggs You are out of control..LOLOLOL

I wasn’t even gonna comment on Raqi.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 10:51 AM | Link to this

Kym my daddy said it to my brothers and Mason and myself tell it to my oldest…A man that doesn’t work doesn’t eat.

Hell what’s love got to with it and anything for that matter when you got a trifling arse man sitting at home waiting to see what the woman is going to bring to the table.

You know why I would have no problem living in a box with Mason outside of the fact that he is a good husband now? I would know each and every day he is out there finding and doing something to help us keep our box and to get us bigger, better box and eventually a canvas tent.

By The Truth

January 23, 2009 10:51 AM | Link to this

Good morning folks.

On topic: It’s tough out here. I know at least 10 people that are out of work and alot more that are afraid they may be. These are professional folks like attornies, accountants and the likes.

If my spouse (Assuming I was married or even in a good dating reltionship) lost a job I wouldn’t blink at taking care of her. It wouldn’t be a thought, just an experience we go through, one of many. I think as bad as losing a job is the depression people experience. The uncertainty, the perceived negative stigma, the alterations of their living circumstances. It messes with peoples mind.

As some of you know I have been on a dating break due to my personal situation. When the funds slowed down so must the good times. I’m really glad I had assets to fall back on because they’ve carried me for the last 2 years. It actually hasn’t been that bad but if I had had a family I’d of been forced to hump it out. The thing in these times is to keep moving. Use any down time to get back into the gym, reconnect with people, keep the blood flowing. Search for a job 4 hours a day and then have some fun.

Thats what I’d tell a mate.

By MusingLee

January 23, 2009 10:55 AM | Link to this

I will say this. Generally speaking, I think Men are more forgiving to Women that are out of work.

By kimmie

January 23, 2009 10:59 AM | Link to this

After reading these comments, I can only say, the women in this blog are very greedy. You are in it for yourselves, no one else.

Storm - Speak for yourself. Personally, from the posts thus far I don’t see greed from the ladies. I think what most are saying is that they are hard workers and expect a MAN to be one too. And yes, they’ll stand by a dude(one that is NOT your husband) to a point. If he’s truly making an effort and not acting like he’s too cute to do what it takes to make it until he gets another “career” position, we’re all good. But nobody wants to take care of and enable some lazy dude thats not even your husband!

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 11:01 AM | Link to this

LOL Leggs no doubt. No doubt at all. Been there…many times.

Why Musing you don’t like me no mo?

melo how many rounds? LOL

By DreamsMaterialize

January 23, 2009 11:04 AM | Link to this

nuclear physiogemnalocaltunamist That’s funny man. Still no excuse though. I was an aerospace engineer and I worked at home depot on the weekends. When I was out of work, I stood around in that corny a_s security uniform at night. you just do what you gotta man. shoot I might get another weekend gig. Guess I’m like the Jamaican family on In Living Color. I’m di Docta, di Lawya, di Cable man…six job man. lol

By Stormy

January 23, 2009 11:15 AM | Link to this

Amen Kimmie

I don’t know what Storm is talking bout. Yah know the bible says, “A man don’t work he don’t eat.” LOL

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 11:24 AM | Link to this

Melo, I can’t even pronounce that (LOL). My struggle was strong while married to this man. I could never understand why this man didn’t want better for himself and his family. Later found out that he knew no matter what happened, I would never let the family fall. I carried all until I couldn’t do it anymore. I was miserable. But, that was yesteryear! At present, all is well in my corner of the Earth.

MusingLee, it was right there, wide open. Had to step to it (ROFL).

Raqi, I know you have, I know you have (ROFLMAO).

By MusingLee

January 23, 2009 11:27 AM | Link to this

Leggs …it was right there, wide open. Had to step to it…

That’s what he said!!

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 11:29 AM | Link to this

Melo, I can’t even pronounce that (LOL). My struggle was strong while married to this man. I could never understand why this man didn’t want better for himself and his family. Later found out that he knew no matter what happened, I would never let the family fall. I carried all until I couldn’t do it anymore. I was miserable. But, that was yesteryear! At present, all is well in my corner of the Earth.

MusingLee, it was right there, wide open. Had to step to it (ROFL).

Raqi, I know you have, I know you have (ROFLMAO).

By For Real

January 23, 2009 11:33 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!

I wouldn’t blink to help my SO so long as she is helping herself. As always, my efforts will be determined by hers.

Muse I agree with you on men being more forgiving than women. Women take it as blow to their womanhood to takecare of their man. Whereas men are proud to takecare of their woman.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 11:33 AM | Link to this

For one Georgia family, it’s unemployment times 3

http://www.ajc.com/business/content/business/stories/2009/01/22/georgia_unemployment.html

Interesting topic…the above link references an article that appeared in the AJC this week about a family that has had 3 major income earners loose their jobs due to the current economy…they have suffered many sacrifices, losses and struggles trying to endure this rough patch of road that they are traveling…but I believe that it is also the strength of this family unit that will pull them through this together.

Now, relationships that are not founded on this basis of stabalized longevity and investment are another matter…and depending on the intention of the committment, then there may be grounds for remaining steadfast while the SO regroups or there may be reasons to terminate and flee…a deadbeat is a deadbeat regardless of what the economy is doing…and a fool of this nature will not work even if the jobs came knocking on the door…period…and that ilk of slacker can not be compared to a person who has experienced an unexpected job loss…if the person has always exemplified a work ethic with diligence, then I guess the determining criteria would have to be how much could a person realistically sacrifice or accommodate in order to help assist the person with getting back on his/her feet…at what point would this decision be contrary to the best interest of self…and what is the ultimate desired outcome from this decision. JMO

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 11:35 AM | Link to this

Musing I was sitting here talking on the phone to my boss when I refreshed my screen and saw this, ”That’s what he said!!”. I bust out laughing in his ear and he wasn’t saying anything funny. Thanks a lot dude. LOL

By MusingLee

January 23, 2009 11:39 AM | Link to this

For Real somes dudes however, might expect some home cooking and extra smashing pumpkins.

By MusingLee

January 23, 2009 11:43 AM | Link to this

Sorry Raqi you can come work part time for me if need be.

Raqi now working security in a tight cat suit with a shiny billy club and little cop hat.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 11:44 AM | Link to this

Good comeback MusingLee. That was funny!

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 11:46 AM | Link to this

Women take it as blow to their womanhood to takecare of their man.

For Real, I’ll chalk the above up to poor choice of words. Women enjoy taking care of their man. Women are typically natural caretakers. And it’s beautiful to see when a man is taking care of the woman and the man is taking care of the man.

Women aren’t comfortable supporting their man, in terms of being the primary breadwinner. But I wouldn’t call that a “blow” to womanhood. LOL. His lack of a job wouldn’t make me feel like less than a woman.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 11:50 AM | Link to this

Good comeback MusingLee. That was funny!

By Been Thru It All

January 23, 2009 11:53 AM | Link to this

@all I think we are having a communication problem…are we talking about husband/wives or boyfriend/girlfriends…because if we are talking about bf’s/gf’s then the comments so far are on point, but if we are talking about husb/wivs, then some of yall need to tie a rope and kick away the chair…not you raqi:)

By Foots

January 23, 2009 11:53 AM | Link to this

For Real Women take it as blow to their womanhood to takecare of their man. Whereas men are proud to takecare of their woman.

I would think that men who had a strong Provider instinct wouldn’t be proud to have their woman take care of them. Like Musing and Dreams, they would do what they had to do to keep from having to ask for a handout from their woman. In return, they get increased respect from their woman. But some men don’t have that “I’m the head” mentality.

My daddy is as crazy as they come, but he’s a man who is still increasing his skill set so that he will never be out of a job at 60 years old. He has three jobs now AND grows all his own vegetables. Of all the things my mother could say about him, she would never deny that he was the hardest working man she knew. It’s important for women to be hard working, but I feel that if a dude wants to claim head of household, that man needs to really be on the grind because the ultimate responsibility for the household is on him.

My SO now worked crappy jobs to get through school. He’s busy now trying to develop multiple income streams and continue his certifications so that he’ll insulate himself from a soft job market. He’s like my dad in that way.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 11:54 AM | Link to this

I think that this current economy and job market is going to test a lot of ppl and their relationships…for better or for worse…no pun intended…but it will because financial hardships are difficult pressures on ppl within a relationship…even if times ain’t tough.

Personally, for me I have learned that it is much easier to remain single in my struggle than to unite it with another person…I am very capable of doing me well and surviving…I am more comfortable with what I can control for me without contingencies on another…but again, that is what I have learned works best for me.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 11:55 AM | Link to this

Anybody want some peppermint bark? I have a little bit left.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 11:59 AM | Link to this

@Been Thru It All

That is why I psoted the link and made reference to that article…it is like comparing apples to oranges…and again, the longevity and stabalized existence of the relationship presents a different set of circumstances from dating or less invested relationships…the lack on a committment over time or the lack of desire to move towards a long-term committment are all factors that need to be weighed into the equation.

By Dan

January 23, 2009 12:05 PM | Link to this

I get what For Real meant.

Even in a temporary situation a man is more willing to take care of his woman for an “undetermined” amount of time. Some women on the other hand, put a clock and conditions on what, how much and how long she’s going to do for him.

Even after the situation resolves itself, women are more likely to have taken a scorecard of “all the things [she] did for [him]”. Whereas at most, a guy will charge any loss to the game.

So I get it, and I get why you wanna stay on your own hustle. No man wants to hear the retelling of that scorecard, esp. when he didn’t know to keep score.

By abc

January 23, 2009 12:08 PM | Link to this

I pay for everything, period. A man that is supported by a woman is not a man.

God forbid I ever be put into a position of having to be supported by a woman. I’d prefer a lightning bolt strike me and turn me to dust.

By MELO

January 23, 2009 12:09 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl that woman in the story u posted really looks stressed out.And the 2 love birds on the couch?? i expect them to be on the computer or wrking in a reastrant or coffee shop smewhere.But that lady?? She may be walking the streets,up and dwn hwy 78 at nite, real soon,shes proly musing it..LOL

By Been Thru It All

January 23, 2009 12:09 PM | Link to this

@M”Karyl I feel ya… Question? When did so start meaning gf/bf???? My wife is my so(significant other!?!?!)…if you aren’t my wife then your just some girl im fuggin…lolj/k

but don’t you have to be married to be SIGNIFICANT….just askin…

By MELO

January 23, 2009 12:11 PM | Link to this

Dan and For real,suspend the gender fight,its friday!

This is the day to get azz,not fight with azz.

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 12:17 PM | Link to this

God forbid I ever be put into a position of having to be supported by a woman. I’d prefer a lightning bolt strike me and turn me to dust.

LMAOOOOO @ abc.

By kimmie

January 23, 2009 12:19 PM | Link to this

No man wants to hear the retelling of that scorecard, esp. when he didn’t know to keep score.

Dan - Men are guilty of this too. That’s why a lot of women in the past have felt like they had to stay in crappy relationships - because she gets reminded of all he did for her! And if you’re willing to support another ADULT for an undetermined amount of time, ESPECIALLY if they are not your spouse(which is what I thought we were talking about on a DATING blog) well then, you put yourself at the risk of being played! But hey, if you don’t mind, then do you! I think every male and female on this blog can count at least one time that they’ve had someone to throw back in their face something the other DID FOR THEM! That’s life and women don’t have a patent on that either!

Also, a lot of people want a medal for doing what they should do anyway.

By MELO

January 23, 2009 12:21 PM | Link to this

I pay for everything,period ur bitterness at them lying creatures is now, better understood.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 12:24 PM | Link to this

Been and Karyl We have just dating, committed relationship and marriage. I think just dating should be ruled out. I would not expect a man that I am just dating to really do anything for me is this type of situation. And we can rule out marriage also because what a spouse should do in a situation like this should go with out a second thought.

But in committed relationships, that is one of those tricky situations. While the person has no obligation to you or your debts, to know that they do in fact care enough to want to help says much. So is the reversed. How much are we willing to invest into someone else’s welfare that has no legal or relative connection to us?

And as for men being more forgiving? For me that goes back to my belief of men being the head and the top breadwinners since the beginning of time and woman being given as the helpmate. Most men that I know personally desire to be the main if not sole earners of income. It’s part of a man’s makeup. Not a trifling little boy posing as a man, but a man. Men are the natural providers. Even when the wife works just the same.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 12:25 PM | Link to this

@Melo

Mayne…she is at wits end…they have lost their car, pawned her husband’s tools, her wedding ring and jewelry…some tough stuff…and she is a Legal Secretary…so no doubt that she was the primary bread earner and the others were contributors…no offense…and if she can not find a job with that highly valued skill set and experience…then the devil in hades has bought a fur coat…no joke.

@BTA

Well, I have never really been one to use the term SO…mainly since I have not had anyone to make reference to on that level…lol…ain’t no relationships been that significant…lol…but it seems that the term covers just about anything from married couples to long-term cohabitating couples to ppl who have managed to date for more than 6 months…JMO…lol

By Foots

January 23, 2009 12:26 PM | Link to this

melo Ain’t no fights. abc just laid it to rest with his 12:08. Some dudes just aren’t cut out to be supported by a woman.

Now that I think back on it, there have been several setbacks that my boyfriend has had in our short relationship. One big one had to do with him just not getting paid; he submitted his time, but the lady doing the entries skipped his. It took them another week to get him his check. It was a big mess with the withdrawals he had scheduled on Bill Pay, because they had already come out before the check was there.

Needless to say, when he told me what happened, he was extremely upset and disappointed that it was always something. I offered to help with the fees, but he said that he would take care of it. He always takes care of it, even if we have to stay home for a few weeks and cook at home. I can’t do anything but respect a man like that.

By For Real

January 23, 2009 12:26 PM | Link to this

Muse Hell if I wasn’t getting that before she lost her job she wouldn’t be getting no help from me.

Ared And it’s beautiful to see when a man is taking care of the woman and the man is taking care of the man. - I’ll chalk this up to a typo. Not comfortable huh? Uncomfortable like the time you ate collic greens with chocolate sauce at lunch and you developed bubble guts while you were in a meeting with your boss and his boss?

Foots I would think that men who had a strong Provider instinct wouldn’t be proud to have their woman take care of them. - I didn’t say a man would be proud for his woman to take care of him. I said Women take it as blow to their womanhood to takecare of their man. Now that you have it str8 give me a story about how hard working your mother is and how she grows knives and forks in the backyard to support your daddy that time he fell off the roof.

By Been Thru It All

January 23, 2009 12:26 PM | Link to this

@kimmie

which is what I thought we were talking about on a DATING blog…

Good gracious jehosaphat(sp?)..I love a woman who can snap back like that….:}

By Dan

January 23, 2009 12:26 PM | Link to this

@kimmie

It’s a cookie, they want a cookie not a medal

And I’m not arguing that point (thus the conditional phrase some when referring to gender stereotyping). I was simply making a case based on a number of unfortunately recent stories shared with me by friends of mine.

And short of having someone sign a promissory note in exchange for money, yep, we all stand a chance of “getting played”.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 12:27 PM | Link to this

Yeah melo it’s Friday, what do you want to talk about?

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 12:29 PM | Link to this

There is a big difference between supporting someone who ain’t doing jack to pull their ends and supporting someone who is suffering from a job loss in this economy…don’t ya’ think????

And I do believe that today’s topic was about the latter…uh-huh…this is not a gneder wars about who should do what for who…it is about how much value does a committment have and would it continue to have in this current economic/job market crisis.

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 12:30 PM | Link to this

I think these economic times came at a pretty good time in history. All politics aside…people have become a bit ungrateful. We always strive for more that is normal. But I have watched relatives push for more crap they can’t afford or don’t need all in the name of blinging and blanging better then the next family member or friend. This is economic is humbling alot of people..they are having to re-evaluate their priorites and focus on the basics as oppose to how much shyt they can buy that they can’t afford.

By abc

January 23, 2009 12:31 PM | Link to this

MELO, I pay for everything, period, because I wouldn’t have it any other way.

If I was crippled, hopelessly ill, completely unable to work and had no money, I would still absolutely hate being supported by anyone else, especially my woman. I can honestly say I’d prefer to expire.

I’m sure many would consider that a character flaw. I can see why they’d think so.

By Angie

January 23, 2009 12:31 PM | Link to this

He has more than once said that if the worst happened, he could take care of both of us, but I can’t imagine ever being comfortable with that outside of marriage

i couldn’t do it either. he wanted me to be a stay at home mom. we were not married and i wasn’t hearing it. i made 40k a year at a job where i drove only 5 mins from my home. it felt like i struck gold!

would i do it again? no.

Have any of you needed to step up to take care of an out-of-work partner?

when i met him he was permanent/on call. so yes i stepped it up. he made up for it later. :-)

lurker from yesterday, i was being sarcastic/silly AGAIN. pay attention to the lol’s please!

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 12:33 PM | Link to this

For Real, yeah that was a typo. But as a woman, I’ll tell you that it’s not a blow to our womanhood to have to take care of our man. It’s more of a blow when we can’t take care of our man and our children.

By Tazzee

January 23, 2009 12:35 PM | Link to this

Afternoon folks. As usual - after checking in late - all I can do is cosign what most (Raqi, Kym, Dreams, Foots and some others) have said.

On supporting a man - I don’t think a woman thinks it’s a blow to her womanhood at all. But if a dude isn’t doing all he can to get back on his feet, she looks at the situation as a blow to his manhood.

By The Truth

January 23, 2009 12:36 PM | Link to this

Dan/For Real No man wants to hear the retelling of that scorecard, esp. when he didn’t know to keep score. That happens when a womens been SAYING she loves you but not showing you she loves you. Big difference.

By Dan

January 23, 2009 12:37 PM | Link to this

@abc

It’s a difference in being supported and needing assistance.

If my SO or I are in a hole, I expect that one would lend the other a hand. Similarly the fiduciary responsibility to repay that “kindness” fall on the borrower.

It’s not manly to sit there and let things get worse becuase you can’t ask for assistance. It’s a man that can swallow his pride, suck it up, get over the hump and repay what is owed.

This whole “I do it by myself” is ridiculous. We’ve all needed help at some point and in times like these we will again.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 12:41 PM | Link to this

@Kym*

I believe so too…and it is funny…suddenly, I am listening to news stories featuring things that I have been doing for years…shopping at thrift and consignment stores for better quality, lower cost clothing…clipping coupons and combining them with instore sales…recycling or reusing items that can have other types of value…clipping coupons from the CL for 2fer dinners and other meals…caring for my shoes (i.e polish, and take to the cobbler for repairs)…name it…and I have seen them promoting my lifestyle as the new alternative to spending unnecessary money or for saving some bucks…lol…and when I lived in the ATL, all I heard was shyte…like I am too good to do those sorts of things…lol…bet the bishes at the Thrifthouse right now looking for Jones New York, Talbot’s, Evan-Piccone and such.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 12:42 PM | Link to this

I think these economic times came at a pretty good time in history. All politics aside…people have become a bit ungrateful. Couldn’t agree more w/you on this one Ms. Kym!

By Foots

January 23, 2009 12:42 PM | Link to this

For Real Oh, I know what you said, I was adding another idea to that: that many men would take it as a blow to their manhood if their woman was supporting him.

My mother never had to support my father. And he never would have allowed it. He has that strong provider instinct. No matter what, during 14 years of marriage, they both worked.

By abc

January 23, 2009 12:43 PM | Link to this

Alright with all of that, Dan, but never in the history of my family that I know of (spanning 4 generations) has a man ever accepted unemployment, welfare, food stamps, public assistance of any kind, or been supported by a woman. It isn’t acceptable for us.

I don’t consider that it’s all completely due to my own efforts. It’s much more to do with being guided and blessed by the Holy Spirit. And thank God for that, seriously, if I can’t support myself, I really don’t know what I’d do.

A man that can’t support himself is not a man.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 12:44 PM | Link to this

she looks at the situation as a blow to his manhood.

Tazzee translated as “a lack of manhood”.

I do think we are spreading this thing thinner than it was intended. It’s just a matter of asking yourself ‘if you have been dating someone for two or more and they suddenly find themselves unemployed, would you kick them to curb or step in and help them out?’

And I still say sincere efforts never go unrewarded.

By Foots

January 23, 2009 12:46 PM | Link to this

Dan It’s not manly to sit there and let things get worse becuase you can’t ask for assistance.

I think that what abc is saying is that he wouldn’t let things get worse. And that as a man, if he had a choice between asking his woman for help and digging ditches, I think he’d choose digging ditches.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 12:47 PM | Link to this

I think these economic times came at a pretty good time in history. All politics aside…people have become a bit ungrateful. Couldn’t agree more w/you on this one Ms. Kym!

By MELO

January 23, 2009 12:48 PM | Link to this

Raqi i think i wanna go watch a movie today,whats out there thats worth watching??.I want a movie,with a good story and full of drama??

If I was crippled, hopelessly ill, completely unable to work and had no money i wld worry more about the fact that my zulu johnson aint getting serviced and who is servicing her,than worry about money and that she is taking care of me,esp if its a situation for which i had no control.That wld make me commit suicide or explode that bomb.I wld hate being taken care of by her if i were able,physically,to look for a job,not when im incapacitated.When my spinal cord gets screwed up smehow,thats the qstion i’ll ask the doc,will i ever phluck again doc and what position(s) do u recommend.As long as my hands can type,yeah, i can earn some money,but phlucking??..dont ever mess with that or i’ll kill smebody!

By Angie

January 23, 2009 12:50 PM | Link to this

abc i can appreciate what you’re sayin’, but i truly hope that the day won’t come where you need her. i can imagine you pulling your eyelashes out instead of asking for help. that’s sad man!

By For Real

January 23, 2009 12:50 PM | Link to this

Kimmie You right women don’t have a patent on it but yall do have an exclusive, worldwide, royalty free license tho.

abc/Dreams I feel yall on that woman taking care you thang well unless it’s Oprah. That list you spoke about Dreams would be nailed to her big azz cross for everyone to see.

Tazzee Who gets to define all and if a man’s manhood is ever defined by a woman then he ain’t a man at all.

Kym I couldn’t agree with you more. I never understood that Baller ish. So, I buy the bar out to impress people I don’t know???? WTF?!?! Hell I have a conversation with a skrippa about a $5 table dance.

Skrippa: You want to stop or keep going?

For Real: How much was this one?

Skrippa: $5 plus a tip!

For Real: $5 good lawwwddd!!! How would it cost me if you just dance on one of my legs?

By Tazzee

January 23, 2009 12:54 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl same here. I’ve been branded as cheap, but that’s OK. I remember going grocery shopping with my nephew one time and he made a comment about my coupons, something like ‘Auntie, you did all that for $6?’ Let me tell you, he got an EARFUL. I broke it down to how much his mother shops, how much she could save if they clipped coupons combined with instore sales and then showed him that in less than a years time she could have probably bought him that Wii he wants so bad.

Now he runs around looking for coupons, LOL.

Raqi you’re right. but we do that everyday, take the topic to a whole ‘nother level, LOL.

By Miss QC

January 23, 2009 12:56 PM | Link to this

Hello Bloggers…Musing that’s why you’re still my #1 favorite blogger your comment was so sweet..I hope you all are having a great day; it must be warm outside the air conditioner has kicked on smh Enjoy the rest of your day bloggers..and have a great weekend :)

By Foots

January 23, 2009 12:57 PM | Link to this

Angie i can imagine you pulling your eyelashes out instead of asking for help. that’s sad man!

He’s exaggerating about the harm he’d do to himself, of course, but all he’s saying is that if there is a way, he’ll find it. And if there isn’t a way, he’ll make one. And he’ll do that before he opens his hand in the direction of his woman. That’s impressive, not sad.

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 12:59 PM | Link to this

If I have only dated said dude for 2months and he got laid off then I would not kick him to the curb..but I would not sign up to pay his bills either. One he should be collecting UI..due to the layoff..if not..then that is a whole other Oprah..cause I am going to want to know what the hell you did or didnt do to get fired in this economy. Two I would assist as much as possible with information on job leads and be supportive. I know it can be stress being unemployed—I have been unemployed and at the time I was responsible not only for my own care but for my mother and my son. It is scary..however you can wallow in your own self pity or you can get your a* on the stick. I choose to go back to school and work temp jobs. My final temp job lasted 24 months. I find the job I have now while on UI..from that job and in school. hell it paid less than the temp job when I started but I had people depending on me. No you don’t get or deserve a metal or cookie for doing what you need to do to survive. And frankly it doesn’t make me mean or greedy to expect the same from said dude. Get up—Get out and Get something…there is always work at Walmart.

By kimmie

January 23, 2009 1:00 PM | Link to this

Dan - Cookie makes no sense to me and I have heard medal being used, so I used what I wanted.LOL! I was simply making a case based on a number of unfortunately recent stories shared with me by friends of mine. Looks like you and your friends need to upgrade your choice of women you deal with, but I’ve told you that before.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 1:01 PM | Link to this

It was a big mess with the withdrawals he had scheduled

Foots for me that there is a huge problem. No single childless man OR woman past the age of 30 should be in that situation, still living paycheck to paycheck. If missing one check or getting it late crashes your bank account you need to work on that real fast. The first my dad, yeah my dad taught me, told me in helping me get out of my crisis was always have at least a week’s worth of salary in the bank account untouched. I was around 27-28 at the time and had two kids. And from there it was 2 weeks, 3 weeks, one month, 3 months, and so on.

You never know, as we see with your friend’s situation and in today’s economy what will and/or can happen. I am one to tell you that it takes sacrifice and determination to do things. But if getting a parttime job makes it possible that’s what we often have to do.

By Angie

January 23, 2009 1:01 PM | Link to this

hi QC! stay warm.

By Dan

January 23, 2009 1:02 PM | Link to this

@abc

Good for you and yours.

But while never gaming the system there have been times when public assistance has been of great benefit to myself and my family. And once it was time to get off, I/we got off.

I feel what you’re saying, but we can’t speak for the conditions of others, simply our own.

@Foots

I understand the point he’s trying to make, but I also understand that sin of pride fugging withcha as the days, months go by of not meeting your obligations.

For some of us, that goes one of two ways, for better or for worse, legally or illegally. I’m seeing it happen now, same as then.

“Help” is not a curse word.

By Angie

January 23, 2009 1:07 PM | Link to this

foots i told him i appreciated him and it is sad to me. i don’t take the word partner lightly. we are in this thing together. let me help!

By DreamsMaterialize

January 23, 2009 1:07 PM | Link to this

abc I agree that a man will do what he must to support himself and those who depend on him. I wouldn’t, however, decline any unemployment benefits. I’ve worked since I was 14, and I’ve paid into the system that supports unemployment. So, if I were out of work, I wouldn’t consider unemployment like welfare or a handout. It would be more like a withdrawal from an account I’d been paying into for the last 18 years. In your case, your family has paid into that system for 4 generations. If you were able to invest that money instead, for your family work would be a choice and not a necessity.

By Miss QC

January 23, 2009 1:08 PM | Link to this

Hey Angie how’s it going?????

By MELO

January 23, 2009 1:08 PM | Link to this

as the new alternative, i have to disagree with u Tazzee,Maryk and Kym. I wrk hard for my money and i deserve good quality smetimes.I luv my beef and queen went to one of this Food store place,prevalent in and around the A, one time for beef(i will not name the place in order not to offend others) suffice to say the beef cuts were just not tasty enough unlike my usuall frmers mkt or publix cuts,so i told her to drop that cheap store.Meat tasted like cudboard box.Admittedly,the prices were much cheaper. So i’ll take thrifting with a pinch of salt.Shopping for bargains is good but i wont sub that for quality.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 1:11 PM | Link to this

melo Mase and I ended up taking Righteous Kill home from a friends house to watch Wednesday. It is gooood. It was funny because towards the end of the movie Mase figured out what was going on and he started talking trash about my big screen crush Al Pacino. I told him he was just jealous. He started giving me that “smirky-chucklely whatever” look and talking ‘bout me jealous of some unknown television punk, I’m the one f’’’’’’’ you, not him.

LOL He just jealous. But yeah if you haven’t seen that, watch it.

By Tazzee

January 23, 2009 1:12 PM | Link to this

For Real - if he’s sitting on his azz ‘taking a break’ after losing his job while not having savings built up to finance that ‘break’; if he feels certain jobs are beneath him, yet he can’t pay his bills - those are a few examples of not doing all he can.

And whether you men want to believe it or not, there are certain things we women look at when proclaiming a male as a man. So from my POV, if a dude is comfy with letting a woman take care of him, he’s not a man. If he thinks otherwise, then he needs to find a woman that agrees with him.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 1:18 PM | Link to this

@Melo

I was not referring to ppl who earn a means and live within it…that is a person’s perogative…I am referring to ppl who seem to look down their noses at individual’s who maximize their limited means to have more…that is the problem to me…hey-ale, I like to bar hop and if my means at the time is the draft beer, so be it…if it is the silver tequila marquerita, so be it…but if my means does not allow me to, say, shop at Sak’s, Talbot’s, Nordstrom’s, etc but I can purchase the same items from those stores gently used from a thrift or a cosignment, so be it…as opposed to shopping in those places and having the debt to go with it…when I leave the secondhand retail shops with my highend namebrands…the shyte is paid for in full…and Jones New York is Jones New York…cashmere is cashmere…last time I checked.

By Foots

January 23, 2009 1:21 PM | Link to this

Raqi Technically, I live check to check too. Which for me means I pay myself first (investment and savings), pay who I owe, and meet my daily living expenses with the rest until I get paid again. Basically, grow your assets, pay your liabilities, meet your needs, enjoy the rest. I do have the amount that never gets included in what I spend as my checking account cushion, plus another buffer of 1/5 of that amount for extreme emergencies. I don’t even add that in the category of emergency savings, that’s just my “this ish ain’t never gone say zero” money. LOL!

I’d have to get into all of the things that has happened with him over the past 6 months to explain how his overdraft savings were depleted, but I’ll sum it up by saying “shyt happens”. I’ll tell you this: if my job “forgot” to pay me on the week that my mortgage is scheduled and I don’t notice it before the withdrawal, you’ll hear about me on the news. LMAO!!

By Tazzee

January 23, 2009 1:23 PM | Link to this

melo I never said poor quality, they don’t have coupons for generic goods. I’m talking about getting quality items at a price cheaper because I spent a little extra time cutting coupons and searching store circulars. Or I waited until that quality item was on sale before I bought it.

Raqi Righteous Kill was a little too slow for me. But I did figure it out halfway through the middle. Good movie, but I almost fell asleep watching it.

By Angie

January 23, 2009 1:24 PM | Link to this

melo fellow go see slumdog millionaire.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 1:26 PM | Link to this

Mkaryl I am a proud clearance rack shopper. No one will ever make me ashame of that. Now if there is one thing I have patience for that’s whating for something to go on sale. I have a Macy’s card but I stopped using it until I was in line and this lady in front me handed me a coupon but it could only be redeemed when using the Macy’s card. I keeps it in my purse at all times now. When I get the sales mags in the mail I cut the coupon and place with the card.

I shop at Costco because sometimes buying in bulk means buying cheaper.

By Foots

January 23, 2009 1:32 PM | Link to this

Dan “Help” is not a curse word.

Definitely not. But before you get to the word “help”, I believe in doing everything within your power to help yourself before you ask for help from someone else. It’s in those times that you really see what you’re made of and what your capabilities are. Asking for help before exhausting your inner reserves can be a growth-stunting activity.

Tazzee And whether you men want to believe it or not, there are certain things we women look at when proclaiming a male as a man.

This is very true.

M’Karyl when I leave the secondhand retail shops with my highend namebrands…the shyte is paid for in full…

I hear that! After I discovered Psycho Sisters and Plato’s Closet, it was all over for me. I even buy my books from Goodwill or thrift shops. When the ladies were talking about bras the other day, I started thinking that I have never bought a bra from VS, though I have VS bras I found at TJMaxx, Ross or Marshalls. Just last night, I found a LeMystere bra at TJMaxx for $2.99 plus 15% off. I looked it up this morning and that dayum bra retails for $82. I LOVE bargain shopping!

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 1:34 PM | Link to this

Yeah Tazzee a little slow, but because I could tell something wasn’t quite clicking I waited it out. Good movie.

And I agree, cheaper price does not mean quality. Kroger, Walmart and Publix all have a sale aisle and I go there first when I shop and then I get everything else throughout the store.

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 1:38 PM | Link to this

MKaryl

I am the queen of a bargain. Example..Before we headed to FLorida for turkey day we stopped at Wally World(Wal-Mart). I was looking for new underwear for my son and came upon a clearance rack. Let me say hear and now..my son is 13..at last check he is now pushing 5’9 and has a size 12 shoe…as he grows so does my clothing budget. anywhoo there was a rack of shorts…khaki’s, blue jean, t-shirts all summer things all marked down to one dollar. The lady said they were having to get rid of the stuff and they marked it down as low as they could. I left that wally world with about 5 outfits for the summer for the boy. And sad I couldn’t get more.

I know some people turn their noses up at Walmart..but err we don’t do name brands at 12 in our family…we also go to the thrift store, penny’s outlet, and any place else that has a bargain. We don’t have anyone to impress.

By Angie

January 23, 2009 1:39 PM | Link to this

Definitely not. But before you get to the word “help”, I believe in doing everything within your power to help yourself before you ask for help from someone else. It’s in those times that you really see what you’re made of and what your capabilities are. Asking for help before exhausting your inner reserves can be a growth-stunting activity.

i know this was directed at danny, but this is not what i meant at all. of course i want him to be a man, but being a man also means swallowing your pride too. if you need help, you need it. and i’m going to be here when you need it. through thick and thin.

By Foots

January 23, 2009 1:40 PM | Link to this

Dreams Hellz, I’ll take unemployment too. Like you said, we pay into it. Why not take it back out when you need it?

Raqi When I get the sales mags in the mail I cut the coupon and place with the card.

I do the same thing. I carry Macy’s coupons around with me just in case I need to go in there for something.

I saved about $8 using coupons last night in Wal-Mart. I have been getting those “Evening Edge” papers on my lawn every Thursday for nearly two years. I used to just pull them out of the plastic and recycle them.

About four months ago, I actually opened the darn paper up and guess what? It had COUPONS in it! For free! No buying the Sunday paper! So now, I pick up the free paper out of my driveway on Thursday, clip coupons on the weekend, and line up the coupons with my shopping list.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 1:40 PM | Link to this

I will tell you all this, Walmart is not the place to buy meats. They are usually higher than Kroger and sometimes Publix.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 1:41 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

That is how my mother always shopped…clearance sales…I wear the clearance of Metrostyle and Coldwater Creek straight out…with discount coupons…classic lines and practical pieces never leave the fashion scene.

@Foots

Psycho Sisters rocks…love their vintage 70’s leathers…there are many good places to buy good quality items without breaking the bank…I also buy bras from Big Lots…Warner, Victoria, Bali, Vasserette, etc…as well as other clearance close out stores…same quality, less cost to pay…Tuesday Morning on Briarcliff gets killer high end purses for a skip sum to pay… whenI can get $1K worth of goods for $200…then it is on.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 1:46 PM | Link to this

@Kym

See what you should have down is bought some sunglasses,a tin cup and a cane( from Wlly World)…lol…walked out in front of the store and begin soliciting handouts for the handicapped…now no need to say what type of handicap (financial counts)…pocketing some coins and gone back to buy some more…lol..I ain’t right…but hey it is all about promotion and demand.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 1:47 PM | Link to this

Kym I too shop at Walmart for my son. They have good jeans at very good prices. I will get underwear and socks there for Mase also. I like Targets for myself outside of VS, Macys and Bare Necessities which I shop online.

And I don’t avoid or run from the big name retailers for my clothing. I just shop clearance and sales. Most of the time. LOL

By The Truth

January 23, 2009 1:48 PM | Link to this

ABC why would fund a chicks lifestyle in A+ fashion when she’s giving you C- production. Those grand statements your making applied when 90% of the women brought their A game with them. The market has changed and paying for the level of service received is more than acceptable. This was all covered in an email sent out in the 98-99 fiscal year. Check your updates.

For the ladies that bought bargain prices bras, Im doing a survey to see if they’re the same quality as regular price bras. Please take a photo in said bra and forward me a copy. I promise not to pass this info along to anyone else.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 1:50 PM | Link to this

Foots Coupon clipping from the Sunday’s paper is slowing becoming the family’s Sunday afternoon ritual. LOL

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 1:53 PM | Link to this

but err we don’t do name brands at 12 in our family

LOL Kym, I feel you on that. I don’t do name brands in my household and I’m 31. Well, unless I can get it on a great sale.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 1:54 PM | Link to this

@Truth

Now I see I ain’t alone in the ain’t right club…lol…them pix come with a soliciting fee attached to cover oogling and handling…lol

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 1:55 PM | Link to this

Dreams Hellz, I’ll take unemployment too. Like you said, we pay into it. Why not take it back out when you need it?

This is a false statement..employees do not pay into the unemployment system. Employers pay into the system..via their quarter tax paid on wages earned by their employees. Employees reap..the benefit of the system when they are laid off or let go due to no fault of their own.

By Foots

January 23, 2009 1:56 PM | Link to this

Angie To clarify, I’m talking about dating, not marriage. Marriage, as they say, is a whole nother ballgame.

I agree with being there to help if help is needed. But I’m being honest when I say that when it comes to the respect I have for my man, if he didn’t try to help himself first before he came to me, my respect for him would take a hit. If he did all he could on his own and then realized that he needed my help and said so, my respect for him wouldn’t be lessened; I’d probably respect him more. But that comes from seeing him putting forth the effect to make it happen for himself.

I’m really not asking for anything more from him than I would ask of myself. Even though I moved here with nothing, I never asked for anyone’s help, not even my parents. Me and my God made a way.

Would I still help even if he came to me first? Of course. He knows I would give him what I could because I love him. But because I’m looking for a man who will lead a family and be able to handle that kind of responsibility, I’d be lying if I said that it wouldn’t shake my confidence in him a little to know that I was his TARP.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 1:57 PM | Link to this

@raqi

That is one reason why I always liked buying the Sunday paper on Saturday to jump start the sale processing and coupon clipping… I can not do that here because the Sunday paper comes out on, uh…Sunday…lol…hey but the trade off is that I can go to the package store or say 7/11 an buy alcohol on Sunday…lol

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 2:03 PM | Link to this

And buying what’s on sale as opposed to a preferred brand is also something that I am getting into more and more. The 3 of us all like to take fruit cups in our lunches. If I don’t get them at Costco I will get choose between Dole or Del Monte according to which is on sale that week when shopping at Krogers and Walmart. I prefer Dole but Del Monte will do.

There are a few items that I will not change up on. I have to have what I have to have. But other than that the only name I am married to is my husband’s last. Kraft today, Sargento tomorrow.

By Foots

January 23, 2009 2:05 PM | Link to this

Kym You’re right. Employers are the ones who pay into unemployment on the employee’s behalf. I’m thinking about Social Security.

It’s just a shame that you have to pay taxes on it as income.

By Blog love

January 23, 2009 2:09 PM | Link to this

And in the words of the negro spiritual

Kum ba yah, my Lord, kum ba yah! Kum ba yah, my Lord, kum ba yah! Kum ba yah, my Lord, kum ba yah! O Lord, kum ba yah!

I just love the days when I can read without having to weed and bob the craziness.

Where is PG

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 2:11 PM | Link to this

Foots Yep, unemployment benefits are taxable(state and federal) you also pay taxes on your refund for state taxes. If you got a refund for state taxes last year..you will get a form this year so the state can tax that refund.

By Blog love

January 23, 2009 2:14 PM | Link to this

Weed as in getting through the craziness. Not weave. I’m sure someone will post a correction notice. LOL

By Foots

January 23, 2009 2:14 PM | Link to this

Kym If you got a refund for state taxes last year..you will get a form this year so the state can tax that refund.

Yes, thankfully, I found that out in my first year of working and I claim it each year as income. It’s hard to forget now, because the tax prep programs ask you about it.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 23, 2009 2:22 PM | Link to this

Kym Yep employers pay. But I bet our salaries would be higher if they didn’t have to pay. So, we indirectly subsidize. lol

Man things are pretty light hearted in here today. Must be the fact that it’s Friday and the weather is actually nice for a change…65 degrees out there right now.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 2:22 PM | Link to this

As far as my family is concerned the few products that I catch grief on if I buy something just like it instead of it are Oreo cookies, Tostito chips, Waverlys club crackers and coke products. Well the boy gets Big-K, Sam’s Choice or whatever I can find. But I have to get the coke products for Mason. I buy the Kroger brand cereals that imitate the name brands.

Dang I just had a scary thought, what brand of diapers will I use this go round?

Imma go sit in the wailing corner for a minute…I’ll be back.

By Foots

January 23, 2009 2:23 PM | Link to this

Totally random Last night, I bought the Triple Strength Medicated Gold Bond lotion for my itchy winter skin. I should have tried it or read some reviews before I bought it. I put it on all over after getting out of the shower last night and put on my pajamas. I didn’t quite realize that the cooling action would be quite so cooling. I proceeded to freeze dayum near to death until I shook myself to sleep. I’m taking this ish back. LOL!

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 2:27 PM | Link to this

Man things are pretty light hearted in here today

Dreams, I’ve been pretty quiet cuz there is a lack of stupidity on here today. ;-) LOL

By the way, I’ve enjoyed everything you posted today. You’re a solid guy, Dreams!

By MusingLee

January 23, 2009 2:29 PM | Link to this

Hey QC cutie! What’s hap’nin. Hope you’re doing ok.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 2:29 PM | Link to this

I too shop at Wal-mart for my daughter and sometimes for myself. I love thrift stores and my size in plentiful. I swore I would never change my ketchup brand. Hunts is a few cents cheaper than Heinz. I haven’t noticed the difference at all. Some brands you don’t skimp on.

Question, a co-worker just gave me a small bottle of oil (perfume). He said he thought I would like it and just wanted to say thanks for the many times he’s vented to me. I thanked him. Figured I leave the bottle in my desk drawer for those days when I run out the house and forgot to put on perfume. Was I wrong for accepting this $6.00 bottle of oil. It’s been about 15 mins. since I put a small sample on my wrist. More and more it’s smelling like burnt cinanmon on me. (Ugghh)!

By Angie

January 23, 2009 2:33 PM | Link to this

But I’m being honest when I say that when it comes to the respect I have for my man, if he didn’t try to help himself first before he came to me, my respect for him would take a hit.

here, here! i’m glad we agree on something … finally.

i heard this new song just a minute ago you’ve been officially dropped and screwed. this is the kinda joint i want to hear in a club. but the words suck.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 2:35 PM | Link to this

I too shop at Wal-mart for my daughter and sometimes for myself. I love thrift stores and my size in plentiful. I swore I would never change my ketchup brand. Hunts is a few cents cheaper than Heinz. I haven’t noticed the difference at all. Some brands you don’t skimp on.

Question, a co-worker just gave me a small bottle of oil (perfume). He said he thought I would like it and just wanted to say thanks for the many times he’s vented to me. I thanked him. Figured I leave the bottle in my desk drawer for those days when I run out the house and forgot to put on perfume. Was I wrong for accepting this $6.00 bottle of oil. It’s been about 15 mins. since I put a small sample on my wrist. More and more it’s smelling like burnt cinanmon on me. (Ugghh)!

By Angie

January 23, 2009 2:35 PM | Link to this

it’s the thought that counts! geesh

By Store owner MusingLee

January 23, 2009 2:36 PM | Link to this

Today’s discounted products include:

Arewehoes Cookies $.99 CatsUp $1.07 Batnanas 2 for $.20 Chok’the’ell’outta Sharmin Toilet paper $1.99

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 2:38 PM | Link to this

Leggs LOL are you sure it’s perfume and not a deodorizing scented oil.

By lurker

January 23, 2009 2:38 PM | Link to this

Ared I’ve been pretty quiet cuz there is a lack of stupidity on here today

The day ain’t over yet girl. LOL. We can always depend on someone to come through. As long as folks ain’t signed off yet, you’ll get your opportunity to shine. LOL

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 2:40 PM | Link to this

@Leggs

I prefer oils to perfumes…but different scents react differently to each person’s body chemistry…suggestion would be that if it is an aromatic scent then try putting a drop on a light bulb at home, like burning incense…it may have a better air scent than body scent for you…there are some that are like that for me.

By Stormy

January 23, 2009 2:43 PM | Link to this

Ragi

I have certain brands that I have to have too: Downy, Tide/Gain, Charmin, the real Pop-Tarts, Lays and certain other things. But most things we get from my hubby’s family for free…Unilever products from his cousin and Protor & Gamble products from another friend. They get “mystery” boxes from their jobs monthly with all types of products and store returns and they always share with us.

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 2:43 PM | Link to this

The day ain’t over yet girl. LOL. We can always depend on someone to come through. As long as folks ain’t signed off yet, you’ll get your opportunity to shine. LOL

lurker, some days are better than others for that certain someone.

Like should I mention that it’s Chopped and Screwed and been playing on the radio for about half a year now? LOL

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 2:44 PM | Link to this

My sleep number has been lingering on 35.

By Angie

January 23, 2009 2:48 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl yep! my co-worker comes to work smellin’ good all the time. she uses a scented lotion from bed/bath. when i tried it, it didn’t smell the same. i ended up exchanging it for something that matched my body chemistry.

By Stormy

January 23, 2009 2:49 PM | Link to this

One time I was gonna try shopping at Aldi’s. NEVER AGAIN!!!! First of all, I had to pay a deposit for a cart. Never heard of such a thing. Secondly, I did not recognize any of the brands and I did not feel like experimenting/taking a chance on some “no name product” . Thirdly, the lady said, I had to pay for bags if I did not bring my own.

Nawh, that’s OK…..Aldi is off my shopping places list FOREVER!!!!! LOL

By Store owner MusingLee

January 23, 2009 2:52 PM | Link to this

Musing now selling SlumberNumber Beds at half price.

Buy now and receive a bootleg “Dropped & Screwed” CD.

By Angie

January 23, 2009 2:52 PM | Link to this

i wish you all a great and restful w/e! chow

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 2:53 PM | Link to this

Foots since we doing randoms…

I think my youngest has a girlfriend. He has become less noticeably squeamish acting to ATHPDA. He usually mumbles something like “argh get a room” but now nothing. My husband noticed it the other morning. We have come to expect the reaction from him and when it didn’t come this time Mase whispered to me that he thinks the boy may have a girlfriend and has probably kissed her. Being that a kiss of any kind is not longer yucky.

We have had the talk once, we have had the talk again and again. We will be having the talk again, again, again.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 2:57 PM | Link to this

@Stormy

Funny that you mentioned Aldi’s…I just saw a History or Food Network channel show about that store chain…the .25 deposit keep ppl from going off with the carts…and it is returned at the end…another thing that they mentioned is that Aldi brands are manufactured and produced by the same companies that make the name brand equivalent but without the high cost packaging and name association…also they said that the chain stocks basics that are equivalent but not as many selections in order to keep cost lower…ie they may sell a thousand isle, french, italian dressings that are the same as Kraft, but they may not sell the more eclectic selections of their dressings like the asian sesame…so, in actuality they are name brands without the label and the cost…and have you ever drvien down the road and seen the shopping carts abandoned near apts or bus stops…lol…especially in the ATL along Piedmont…lol.

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 2:57 PM | Link to this

See prayer does work..Go Steelers

“Steelers Prayer” Our Father, Who Art in Pittsburgh , Football Be Thy Game. The Kingdom Come, 5 Super Bowls Won, On Earth as it is in Heinz Field. Give us this Day a playoff Victory, And forgive us our penalties, As we defeat those who play against us. But lead us into a victory, And deliver us to Tampa ! A-Ben

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 2:59 PM | Link to this

My family has shopped at Kroger for as long as we could remember. That’s just where I’ve always shopped.

I recently started looking in Publix. Their meets are far more superior. I had been missing out!

By MELO

January 23, 2009 3:02 PM | Link to this

Angie,you’ve been officially dropped and screwed**..need i repeat??

anybody done smthing really off tha wall and exciting this lunch break,other than myself?? lemme hear ur story.

walmart this and walmart that,uall talking like cartersville redneckks..is this the right blog??

Righteous Kill hmmmmm,u know what im thinking Raqi? im in the mood to kill.Did u guys have a hot dvd or what? Is it still in the cinemas??

Who else has watched slumdog millionaire?? good story?

More and more it’s smelling like burnt cinanmon on me.(Ugghh ull be lucky if everybody smells it the way u do.Others are thinking u got a quickie,lunch time.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 3:03 PM | Link to this

Excellent suggestion M’Karyl.

Yes indeedy, it’s the thought that counts. That’s what I thought. How come I just received an email asking if I wanted to stop after work for drinks. Oy vey! (I like saying that).

Stormy, the deposit is only .25 and you get that back (LOL).

By MELO

January 23, 2009 3:07 PM | Link to this

started looking in Publix. Their meats are far more superior watch publix bread too if u eat some.I luv their bakery! Publix dont have as much fesh vegies as kroger tho.But u like me, im a publix luver.

if uall keep talking walmart,ill change my web zip code

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 3:08 PM | Link to this

Excellent suggestion M’Karyl.

Yes indeedy, it’s the thought that counts. That’s what I thought. How come I just received an email asking if I wanted to stop after work for drinks. Oy vey! (I like saying that).

Stormy, the deposit is only .25 and you get that back (LOL).

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 3:08 PM | Link to this

melo what??? Ooookaaaay. No the movie is on DVD now. Go buy it and watch it.

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 3:09 PM | Link to this

Grrrr. “meats”

By Stormy

January 23, 2009 3:10 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl

I must have missed that segment on Food Network….I think they should show you that film footage before you start shopping, so you know what to expect, sorta like an Aldi’s Training Class. LOL

I do see the carts abandoned along the roads and I always wonder, “Who does that?” LOL

You can’t beat Publix’s produce section…always fresh. Wal-Mart’s produce section always looks like hyeneas’s (s/p) have been shopping. Everythings disorganized and in the wrong section, apples mixed in with peaches, oranges and tomatoes thrown in the same bin. LOL

By lurker

January 23, 2009 3:12 PM | Link to this

Ared LOL. Honey you acting like you want Bootiful! Put that attention towards getting another man.

I hate Walmart. With this economy I may have to shop there, so let me shuddup. LOL.

By lurker

January 23, 2009 3:13 PM | Link to this

Ared some days are better than others for that certain someone. Like should I mention that it’s Chopped and Screwed and been playing on the radio for about half a year now?

See, told ya. All you have to do is be patient. She’s bound to come through, it’s what she does best. Some days, it’s all freaking day long and others, as in today, she keeps it at a minimum. Recon she’s trying on a day like today? Overall? She never disappoints. LOL

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 3:16 PM | Link to this

melo I suggested to the marido that we watch The Women tonight. He said he don’t want to see no chickity flickity movie. I pleaded with him to watch it with me. He said that all depends on what male actor is starring in the movie. Hopefully somebody rather funny. I told him there were zero men in the entire movie. He said feed him and then wake him up when the movie has ended.

That would be a good one for you and the wife to watch.

By Jamoca

January 23, 2009 3:16 PM | Link to this

“Steelers Prayer” Our Father, Who Art in Pittsburgh , Football Be Thy Game. The Kingdom Come, 5 Super Bowls Won, On Earth as it is in Heinz Field. Give us this Day a playoff Victory, And forgive us our penalties, As we defeat those who play against us. But lead us into a victory, And deliver us to Tampa ! A-Ben

Hello ya’ll…just stopping by…on topic, I agree with most of what was stated by Raqi, Leggs, Kym, M’karyl, Foots, and the like…

Okay Kym, thanks for my laugh of the week! BAH…hahahaaa! Btw, if all goes well for the team, do you plan on going? just askin’

By Stormy

January 23, 2009 3:17 PM | Link to this

Walmart’s dry goods are sometimes cheaper than Kroger…but Kroger will double the coupons up to $1.00. So it just depends.

By lurker

January 23, 2009 3:18 PM | Link to this

lurker 3:12 is I HATE ATTENTION

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 3:19 PM | Link to this

Okay get off Wally World..that is my store..The WalMart is the All Mart. Just about anything you want Wally World has it. In the words of Uncle Ruckus….”Praise White Jesus for Walmart!!”

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 3:19 PM | Link to this

Has anyone seen “Wanted”? My son saw it at his father’s house and was telling us about it. I may stop by Walmart or Blockbusters and see if I can find that one. My son says there is a lot of action in the movie.

By lurker

January 23, 2009 3:21 PM | Link to this

lurker @ 3:12 you know you’re *I HATE ATTENTION….

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 3:21 PM | Link to this

Next to the Farmer’s Market, I like the seafood selections at Publix (sure do miss it, there aren’t any here)…and I would prefer to buy my produce from the Farmer’s Market too, but I hear that they closed the IFM on P’tree Industrial last year…The Walmarts here are the best prices for shopping…food cost are way higher in the VA than the ATL…by .75 to $1.50 more for the same items…and the Kroger here is straight high as all hey-ale…and I would not buy the seafood from a Walmart here for the life of me…wanted some salmon one day…went to Walmart…shyte looked like it had been sitting there since pre-historic fishing…went back a few weeks later to check again…and I swear it was the same piece of salmon from before…lol…nope not here…wish I had me a Publix.

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 3:22 PM | Link to this

Put that attention towards getting another man.

lurker - Fortunately I can multi-task. :-)

And please don’t be fooled. No one is exempt at stupidity. I read most of the posts on here and will respond to things I like and don’t like. There is no one I’m checking for more than others. But if you were to see your boss walking around in a pink tutu that’s gonna stick out more than the person that jammed up the printer. Some stupid just sticks. lol

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 3:22 PM | Link to this

Hey Jamoca! See you’ve been busy lately!

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 3:25 PM | Link to this

Jamoca Oh we are SUPERBOWL BOUND BABY!!!—I am not going but so help me next Sunday I shall be in my Big Ben Jersey..terrible towel in one hand and nacho dip on a chip in the other…

By Stormy

January 23, 2009 3:26 PM | Link to this

Raqi

From what I heard “Wanted” is a bloody shoot’em up. It’s about assassins and the assassins being hunted by other assassins. My husband enjoyed it.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 3:27 PM | Link to this

Hey Jamoca! See you’ve been busy lately!

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 3:27 PM | Link to this

Karyl My friend Doc gets all of her seafood from Whole Foods. I said I was going to try them out. But I do know they are more than a tad bit higher than the other chain stores.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 3:28 PM | Link to this

Wanted is action packed. Special effects are off the chain.

By lurker

January 23, 2009 3:29 PM | Link to this

Wanted is a good movie

By MELO

January 23, 2009 3:29 PM | Link to this

He said feed him and then wake him up when the movie has ended

I dont watch movies that much and when i do,i want one with a good story and drama.Otherwise i will sleep thru out the entire movie.Attn span on movies is very little.The Women is about women cheating on men etc??? what makes it interesting?

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 3:32 PM | Link to this

Hey Jamoca. Every time I see your name on screen I want to get a Jamoca shake at Arby’s. I am not supposed to have them and the last time I had one it came back up in the same form that it went down…rather quickly.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 3:34 PM | Link to this

Wanted is action packed. Special effects are off the chain.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 3:35 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

Yeah…a tad bit higher…but definitely good quality seafood…they have some great crabcakes…and I like their gourmet sausage selection made with lamb, veal, etc…not everyday eating but worth it for a splurge occassion…a buddy of mine and I would go when they had those sample days…just to try the food…not to buy…lol…sample cheeses, wines, appetizers, fruit, etc…not a bad deal…more upscale than Costco.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 3:37 PM | Link to this

Melo, forgot to comment back to you. If a few of my co-workers picked up on a scent that smelled as though I might have had a quickie at lunchtime fine by me!!! Sex doesn’t smell bad….Only one would dare ask me. I look out for her when she steps out to get her little quickie on. Meaning, I’m mindful if she’s being paged, and her phone is forwarded to me.

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 3:37 PM | Link to this

melo I hear it is about a group of friends, one finds out her husband cheating. I hear it has a good cast.

And nothing makes it interesting for a man, however the marido promising to watch it with me guarantees he will not come in and try to change the channel. He will sit there on the couch and sleep thru it.

By lurker

January 23, 2009 3:39 PM | Link to this

Hmmmm….thinking about this. lurker @3:12 sounds like I HATE ATTENTION…* and **BlowMe is the only one that addresses Angie as Bootiful ding ding ding. BlowMe is I HATE ATTENTION…

By Raqi

January 23, 2009 3:41 PM | Link to this

LOL Mkaryl. You know that would actually make for a good inexpensive date night or Saturday afternoon.

By MELO

January 23, 2009 3:42 PM | Link to this

Wal-Mart’s produce section always looks like hyeneas’s (s/p) have been shopping u wrong for that one.Walmart is the real melting pot of america.Ull see a mother here,with a young one dangling by her milk filled breasts whilst the mom is busy loading on diapers and baby ware and then go to another isle, u see a 5 piece suited executive checking on the gym equip and then the grocers section,Stomy is picking bundles of collards and pumpkin leaves whilst her husband holds her by the booty as he pulls her by the panties towards the meat section so he can check on the cow tongues! U never know who u meet there..

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 3:42 PM | Link to this

Melo, forgot to comment back to you. If a few of my co-workers picked up on a scent that smelled as though I might have had a quickie at lunchtime fine by me!!! Sex doesn’t smell bad….Only one would dare ask me. I look out for her when she steps out to get her little quickie on. Meaning, I’m mindful if she’s being paged, and her phone is forwarded to me.

By For Real

January 23, 2009 3:46 PM | Link to this

Truth If you are out there I got another one that proves your point.

http://dispatch.com/live/content/localnews/stories/2008/08/16/janecrane.ARTART08-16-08B1_T0B1RSR.html?sid=101

Foots mail call

By MELO

January 23, 2009 3:47 PM | Link to this

NOW u got me confused on these movies.Hw the Biggie movie?? Is there any raw,ugh,ugh in there..know what i mean.Biggie and lil Kim??

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 3:47 PM | Link to this

Hmmmm….thinking about this. lurker @3:12 sounds like I HATE ATTENTION… and *BlowMe is the only one that addresses Angie as Bootiful ding ding ding. BlowMe is I HATE ATTENTION…

LOL lurker, it doesn’t really matter who the trolls are. Everyone is entitled to thier opinion, even the cowards who hide behind another username.

They all just deny anyway. Too bad we can’t see IP addresses!

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 3:49 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

LOL…sure would…I used to buy my edamame from Whole Foods…they had a couple of wines that I liked…I think that they are worth it for the specialty items…I also miss Eatzi’s on P’tree…is it still open…I heard that the Clubhouse at Lenox closed too…dayuummm…when I get back to the ATL, I ain’t even gonna know the city…lol…well, I will know I am back when half the men that walk up and talk to you ain’t got no teeth in their mouth…lol

By Jamoca

January 23, 2009 3:51 PM | Link to this

Leggs, Well that too, plus I was sick with a terrible cold and now my voice sounds like a raspy version of Screech and Marge Simpson’s sister (you know the one) LOL! But in between being busy and getting sick, (over the weekend), I caught up on some movies… BenjButt, 7Pounds, Wanted, Traitor, Twilight, and Notes on a Scandal.

Wanted was pretty good , but my only reason for watching it a second time was because I knew there were some things that “I missed” as for hidden clues and subliminals…special effects and the action was pretty good, but somehow I expected there to be more to it.

I’m not interested in watching BenjButt , 7Pounds and Traitor again…though they were interesting. Love myself some Don Cheadle and Brad Pitt though.

And oddly enough, I actually thought Twilight was pretty good and Notes on a Scandal was just WOW!

Kym I’m still laughing at that! LOL

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 3:53 PM | Link to this

Public Service Announcement

This is to notify all library book borrowers to please return all past due books within a reasonable time, otherwise you may be arrested and put in jail…WTF!!!

http://www.ajc.com/business/content/business/stories/2009/01/22/georgia_unemployment.html

By MELO

January 23, 2009 3:57 PM | Link to this

Everyone is entitled to thier opinion u must be in some sort of nice legy position ared.Too many sp mistakes,its unlike u!!I know u like what u doing now,which u normaly dont do at 2.59 and 3.47 pm.And u aint stopped yet since u started, 47 minutes ago?? Un characteristic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Stormy

January 23, 2009 4:01 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl

Eatzi’s closed almost 2-3 years ago. I really miss that place too….I loved those Mexican Wedding Cookies…well of their desserts and the breads.

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 4:02 PM | Link to this

LOL. melo, I am a little preoccupied right now. Throwing me off my blogging game. Looking forward to the weekend. :-)

By lurker

January 23, 2009 4:03 PM | Link to this

lurkernope..I am not i hate nor that crazy chick blow.

ared Close but no cigar. u have tons of enemies on here. I am sure your everyday life is the same.

By MELO

January 23, 2009 4:06 PM | Link to this

Meaning, I’m mindful if she’s being paged, and her phone is forwarded to me

u chics are smething else!!!!!!! U alwayz got sme up ur sleeves.Quickie hah?? Is there a web site out there for lunch time quickies??? I know one of u here ladies know…Coz that drought can be a mafugga hell of an itch….Time to get ur scrawwwwwtch on…!!

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 4:07 PM | Link to this

Random Thought— I am fully addicted to Facebooking. I am actually missing it right now.

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 4:08 PM | Link to this

Close but no cigar. u have tons of enemies on here. I am sure your everyday life is the same.

lurker, the most drama in my life comes from this message board. Nice way to get a little excitement in an otherwise uneventful work day!

It’s great to have a real life with a true lack of drama. I wish you the same. :-)

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 4:09 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl, oil smelling a lot better on me. Ok, don’t like the initial smell, have to let it permeate my skin. Smells a helluva lot better. Probably because it’s wearing off (lol).

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 4:09 PM | Link to this

Dead and Gone:

Eatzi’s, Mike & Angelo’s, Clubhouse, IFM…what else is gone…sheesh…leave town for a minute and things just get gone…lol

By Stormy

January 23, 2009 4:11 PM | Link to this

Melo

Do you walk around with a “hard” on? Do you have random perverse conversations going on in your head?….cause you always find a way to weave sex/female/male genitiale (s/p) into the most innocent conversations. That really must be some type of “gift” you have…..really. LOL

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 4:14 PM | Link to this

Random Fact-Apparently men have on average 12-15 erections per day.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 4:14 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl, oil smelling a lot better on me. Ok, don’t like the initial smell, have to let it permeate my skin. Smells a helluva lot better. Probably because it’s wearing off (lol).

By DreamsMaterialize

January 23, 2009 4:15 PM | Link to this

ARed Looks like you spoke too soon. Guess you get to break out the blog whip after all. haha I appreciate the compliment though, especially from someone who seems to have their sh_t together.

By Tazzee

January 23, 2009 4:17 PM | Link to this

Raqi Wanted was a very good movie IMO and those few scenes/lines featuring Common’s sexy behind just made it all the more better.

Kym I have been avoiding facebook for some time now. Folks keep telling me to join. I might have to when I buy my new laptop this weekend.

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 4:24 PM | Link to this

Taz Let me know when join..and you know my name so look me up and friend me. Its like crack though..I have now connected with old highschool folks, old boyfriend, folks I am not even sure I liked in highschool j/k it is Great!!

By MELO

January 23, 2009 4:24 PM | Link to this

That really must be some type of “gift” you have…..really im trying to find an outlet for that gift so i can make some side money.If my wang was big enough for those male stripper kind of parades i have witnessed at some clubs, i wld have been hustling like them.But see,im still unemployed.Im considering getting those pills that are peddled thru the emails.But if my wang grows to that size,then i kiss queen goodbye.Dont think she can withstand a muffler size wang.Then i will have to marry a lady entertainer.She wld have a deeper and wider honey asset to fit my refitted wang.Being married to an entertainer even sounds respectable!!!!

By Tazzee

January 23, 2009 4:25 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl this might not be one of your former spots but everytime I drive through Buckhead I have to pour a little out for Three Dollar Cafe. Some of the best wings out there!

By MELO

January 23, 2009 4:26 PM | Link to this

I settled for the 9.45 Biggie movie at stn crest mall.I was overruled by a higher up.

By Stormy

January 23, 2009 4:29 PM | Link to this

Can’t wait to get home….got a batch of Sorrel waiting on me to mix with Jamaican Overproof Rum. Is it time to go yet?

By The Truth

January 23, 2009 4:29 PM | Link to this

What the fizzle is going on in here? One minute its biscuits and wal mart then all hell breaks loose.

Melo Wanted was ok but Taken is the movie. slumdog Milionaire is great also.

Tazzee where are you getting your laptop from? I bet its some great prices out there now. I love mine.

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 4:29 PM | Link to this

Its like crack though..

Kym, it really is tho. I was a notorious Facebook holdout, but it’s really been a cool thing.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 4:30 PM | Link to this

Yes, Three Dollar Cafe.

Melo, your brain waves are all messed up!

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 4:32 PM | Link to this

Yes, Three Dollar Cafe.

Melo, your brain waves are all messed up!

By MELO

January 23, 2009 4:32 PM | Link to this

Common is taken Tazzee.Get ur own man,Serena will crush u with those biceps..

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 4:37 PM | Link to this

haha I appreciate the compliment though, especially from someone who seems to have their sh_t together.

Why thank you Dreams!

By Tazzee

January 23, 2009 4:38 PM | Link to this

The Truth there are some great prices out there but I’ve fully drunk the Apple kool-aid…I’m getting a macbook. Those aren’t on sale.

although - I can’t quite wrap my mind around those prices, that’s what’s taken me so long to get it. I’ve been home computing from my iPhone.

Kym I will definitely friend you when I join.

By Jamoca

January 23, 2009 4:43 PM | Link to this

Raqi How about you sit and watch this movie yourself, FIRST (and for FREE on that particular website posted several times).

I will also add (and since this was not mentioned), being that you’re thinking of letting your youngest son see the movie, in the very beginning, there are some extremely vivid ADULT SCENES AND SOUNDS going on. Afterall, it’s not like we can tell the folks in the theatre to “skip this scene” . So at least by burning or getting it burned by someone else, you’ll have total control of those particular scenes. LOL

And what’s funny, now that the thought crosses my mind, it seems that we make the same panting, hoop n’ hollarin’ sounds to make the little buggers, as we will to bring them into this world…hehehe

By The Truth

January 23, 2009 4:45 PM | Link to this

Tazz let me know how that Macbook works out. I’ve never used one but heard they’re far superior.

For Real wild story. When you get in court its a crapshoot, period. To make life smoother stay outta court try not to get chicks pregnant. LOL

Melo Gran Torino is good also. Slow at points but the ending is crazy.

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 4:47 PM | Link to this

Tazzee Girl I love you.I knew there was a reason.(despite that fakecons thang) …Welcome to the Apple family girl. LOL..I got my macbook in August. Love it.. Love it. Come along you belong…feel the fizz.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 4:48 PM | Link to this

Well, I knew that a lot of places in B’Head were closing because of the major renovations to that area…the New Rodeo Drive…lol

By DreamsMaterialize

January 23, 2009 4:49 PM | Link to this

ARed Looking forward to the weekend. :-) Hanging out with me does have that effect doesn’t it? lol you’re welcome for the compliment.

By Kym-Proud Member of the Steeler Nation

January 23, 2009 4:50 PM | Link to this

Tazzee If you are a student you know there is a educational discount. Or you can get the white macbook instead of the new aluminum one. I know..I know technology geek

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 4:53 PM | Link to this

Hanging out with me does have that effect doesn’t it?

Dreams, you are hilarious. Don’t get cut cuz apparently everyone in life is supposed to hate me. LMAO.

By M'Karyl

January 23, 2009 4:57 PM | Link to this

Have a great and safe weekend!!!

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 4:59 PM | Link to this

Goodnight everyone!

Have a safe and restful weekend.

Remember, be kind to the people around you. Even the bum on the street irritating you.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 23, 2009 5:01 PM | Link to this

ARed sweetie I don’t hate you, not by a long shot. Do you all the time, some will love it and some will hate it. I got luv for you; we good ARed.

By Leggs

January 23, 2009 5:04 PM | Link to this

Goodnight everyone!

Have a safe and restful weekend.

Remember, be kind to the people around you. Even the bum on the street irritating you.

By AmazonRed

January 23, 2009 5:07 PM | Link to this

Do you all the time, some will love it and some will hate it.

Dreams, exactly. No one can take my shine! ;-)

Have a great weekend all!