Misadventures in Atlanta

By i'm swiss

January 13, 2009 8:13 AM | Link to this

First!

Dang, that was nowhere near as fun as I dreamed it would be.

By Miss QC

January 13, 2009 8:20 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers…have a great day!

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 8:27 AM | Link to this

Happiness is when you really feel good with somebody, nothing wrong with being in one with someone, Al Green

By DreamsMaterialize

January 13, 2009 8:35 AM | Link to this

Morning Everyone.

many of us endure it all because ultimately we think it will be worthwhile. I don’t “endure” dating until I find something worthwhile. Dating itself is worthwhile to me, and I enjoy it. I meet nice women and enjoy the time we spend, whether it develops into something more or not. Have fun, do what makes you happy, invite others to share that with you, and enjoy it while it lasts. If you just “endure” dating with some end goal of a relationship, then you stand the chance of completely missing out on all the great experiences that lead up to the end goal…not fun at all.

By Tazzee

January 13, 2009 8:35 AM | Link to this

LOL @ i’m swiss!

I look forward to having someone around to lift all the heavy things, kill the bugs and take out the trash.

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 8:55 AM | Link to this

Morning Everyone

I enjoy being married cuz I always have a date. LOL

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 8:58 AM | Link to this

Marriage/union is being on a lifelong date with someone special. It’s nice having that person around that you can feel completely comfortable with. Being with that person that you can lose yourself with. The one who accepts your flaws and love you right on.

Having a best friend, aficionado, confidant, shoulder and regulator that take into account my opinions and needs as it pertains to our live together is priceless.

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 9:00 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

I keep thinking about it..and frankly I am not sure I want to be married. I mean other than having someone scratch the sexual itch regularly..and clean the gutters..I am really trying to come to grips with what I gain by marriage.

Give me a min and maybe I will come up with something else so I can play along. But right now I am I am drawing a blank.

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 9:01 AM | Link to this

Co-sign Raqi

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 9:06 AM | Link to this

Good morning!

On Topic: Being in love is a beautiful thang. Have fun with it…Live, Love Laugh.

Swiss Lol. Still, you were FIRST!!! enjoy the moment, mayne!

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 9:12 AM | Link to this

Good morning!

@ I’m swiss, ok that was funny!

DreamsMaterialize, that is a wonderful attitude to have about dating! When I said endure, I meant endure the misadventures. Whenever things don’t work out, or get unpleasant, sometimes it happens, but you keep going back for more!

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 9:18 AM | Link to this

I got two!! Tax benefits and health insurance. I guess I will have to lurker around cause I am not relating to this topic at all.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 9:19 AM | Link to this

I was talking a little earlier this morning about being part of a team and what it takes to be a good team player. When you look at the following…

(copied and pasted from another site) “Play fair. pass to the open man. take one for the team. compete your heart out, and shake hands afterwards. guard your man. pay attention. listen to your coach. don’t let the crowd distract you. play your position. know your role.”

…it’s what it takes to be a good partner. Every athlete out there wants to be a part of the best team and in order to do so makes an effort to be their best. To me that is what makes for a good healthy happy relationship.

The two things that stand out the most for me are “Play fair and Play your position”. And the one if you fail to do that I have seen kill many relationships, “don’’t let the crowd distract you””. Their will always be hecklers, dictators and hunters standing on the outside trying to break you. But you have to keep your mind and heart in the game and follow the plays that have been agreed upon and laid out. Let the nay sayers have their say and do “yall”.

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 9:23 AM | Link to this

I look forward to having someone around to lift all the heavy things, kill the bugs and take out the trash.

So will his pet name be The Exterminator, sis?

Tazzee

By Tazzee

January 13, 2009 9:30 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli LOL, that might work.

Seriously, I like being in a relationship and look forward to being in another one but right now - I’m like Kym - drawing a blank on this topic.

By MELO

January 13, 2009 9:37 AM | Link to this

Family is important to me and especially as it relates to perpetuating my(our) name.We have a strong pedigree,take pride in the family history and so continuing with the legacy that my forefathers laid is important.Hence the need for marriage,procreation and legacy was alwayz uppermost in my mind. I could and can procreate with any woman and not be married.But having b******* kids has never been honorable,in society in general and in my family as well.So that was never an option. The good thing about it,other than the family aspect,is the sharing and luving and knowing that there is somebody you can alwayz rely on in sickness or in health,outside of ur other family members,who may have obligations of their own.Raising kids together and seeing them grow is so wonderful.And if im down financially as as happened to me in the past,it waz nice(rough at times) knowing that there was somebody there to cover for me.And ofcourse that Azz!!.When u know that u can tape it any time,without having to plan to take nocturnal sojourns outside of my home or make extraordinary plans etc to do it,thats a wonderful feeling. The most important thing thogh,if all this marriage thing is to come to fruition is that you got to have a marriage of minds.If the words(phrases) compromise,share,give and take, etc do not come easy in ur vocab,you may be better off just hitting and leaving without making any permanent plans.A roling stone gathers no moss, so they say,so u gotta keep that in mind. Not me.I was broght up str8 and right and sorrounded by a large and extended family and am the product of revered zulu pedigree.I got to maintain that tradition!!

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 9:39 AM | Link to this

Dating itself is worthwhile to me, and I enjoy it. I meet nice women and enjoy the time we spend. Have fun, do what makes you happy, invite others to share that with you, and enjoy it while it lasts.

I’m totally with Dreams on this one, except for the fact that I date men. LOL. You hit the nail on the head Dreams!

This is pretty much my attitude towards life. Life is to be appreciated and enjoyed. Everyday will not be filled with roses, but everyday is filled with blessings. Things just look better once you adapt a positive outlook!

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 9:41 AM | Link to this

Ok, the blog has gone from dbl posting my posts to eating them.

Good morning. I know of three happily married couples. It seems their marriages strive out of respect for one another, love for one another, vacations, given each other space and having a life outside their marriage.

Being in love with someone is indeed a beautiful and rewarding experience.

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 9:46 AM | Link to this

Ok, the blog has gone from dbl posting my posts to eating them.

Good morning. I know of three happily married couples. It seems their marriages strive out of respect for one another, love for one another, vacations, given each other space and having a life outside their marriage.

Being in love with someone is indeed a beautiful and rewarding experience.

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 9:48 AM | Link to this

Don’t get me wrong I like being in relationships but seriously I am not feeling marriage at all. Someone here at the office said what about the Christian aspect..doing it right before God..I thought for a min and because I am a smartass anyway I looked back and said..”I have been “doing it” right all this time without his/her approve why should I switch up now. I think as I get older I am getting less and less about tradition.

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 9:52 AM | Link to this

To be honest, with the right person, I could just be with them til the end of time without that “piece of paper.” Marriage doesn’t appeal to me because I finally get to lock someone down, it appeals to me because I want to share my life with that one special person.

However, I was raised in a Christian home and there are certain rules. I’m a rules follower. There is a certain sense of guilt that comes with doing things outside of a wedded union. And as a believer, I strive to follow those beliefs as much as I can.

There is also a sense of security that comes from legal marriage and while that isn’t a prevailing reason, it’s a reason all the same.

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 9:55 AM | Link to this

Melo

I am very impressed with your post/soliloquy. :)

By Tazzee

January 13, 2009 9:56 AM | Link to this

Leggs LOL, looks like the double up is back!

By DreamsMaterialize

January 13, 2009 10:05 AM | Link to this

WiseDiva it happens, but you keep going back for more! People go back for more for the same reason a person keeps gambling, even after continually losing. People will seek that winning feeling, even if they already know the chances of winning are slim to none.

ARed I agree that the same principle should be applied to life. Life is neither long nor promised. Enjoy every moment you can and live a full life. Control what you can, and make the best of what you can’t. I guess I’m an Optimistic Realist. lol

By Angie

January 13, 2009 10:09 AM | Link to this

foots i think you should get back to writing. grab your pen and paper, find a cozy spot … enjoy! sharing this with your SO is ok if you are comfortable with it. this may be something you want to keep to yourself for awhile.

love and happiness is all i want. is that too much to ask for?

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 10:10 AM | Link to this

Cee Have you taken your son to the King Tut exhibit? If so, how was it?

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 10:10 AM | Link to this

I guess I’m an Optimistic Realist. lol

Dreams, you and I are —>here<— I’m an optimistic realist too!

Or as Will Smith said in “Hitch:” a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist

LOL

By kimmie

January 13, 2009 10:12 AM | Link to this

Morning Gang!

As usual, like what Raqi had to say, especially the part about ignoring the naysayers and being on a lifelong date.

It’s wonderful being part of a team, and this past weekend my SO said he thinks we make a good one! He’s getting his basement finished and I helped him move the stuff from there to the basement. I was telling a friend about it last night. She said he would have had to do it his self because she would not have been up for it. I just shook my head - that’s why she’s divorced and manless! Now what would it have looked like if I had just layed around like some prima dona while he & the kids lugged stuff up the stairs? I’m part of the team and I play my position gladly. He has helped me lug things in and out of my house before!

Love, when everythings clicking, is a beautiful thing! My favorite song is “What You Won’t Do For Love”.

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 10:12 AM | Link to this

Speaking of happiness….

Foots Was your final decision about your “writings” made based on what you felt in your heart?

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 10:14 AM | Link to this

Sometimes the perfect hug from the right person at the right time just makes the worries of this world seem so insignificant.

Sometimes in the middle of the night when a storm hits the horizon and the unexpected clapping of the thunder nearly makes you jump out of your skin, having that special someone to pull you close and make you feel calmed is just rewarding.

Having someone to…

and

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 10:15 AM | Link to this

Kym No maam,not yet. I want to though. Are you going?

By WTF???

January 13, 2009 10:18 AM | Link to this

Good morning!

I have to say I’m with Kym on the issue. Sex, taxes, benefits & oh yeah, the added income.

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 10:18 AM | Link to this

I feel everything that Raqi is saying and I love it. But I know married couples that have that and I know unmarried couples that have that too.

By Angie

January 13, 2009 10:19 AM | Link to this

endure dating? doesn’t make any sense. out of all the things to do in ones lifetime, this is one thing that we don’t HAVE to do.

By kimmie

January 13, 2009 10:22 AM | Link to this

Melo The most important thing thogh,if all this marriage thing is to come to fruition is that you got to have a marriage of minds.If the words(phrases) compromise,share,give and take, etc do not come easy in ur vocab,you may be better off just hitting and leaving without making any permanent plans. I like this.

By Angie

January 13, 2009 10:24 AM | Link to this

warm your spot in the bed on cold winter nights. sigh

By Tazzee

January 13, 2009 10:25 AM | Link to this

Raqi thanks! I knew you’d bring some things to my remembrance. It’s hard to think of those things when I’m not boo’ed up, LOL.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 10:26 AM | Link to this

WiseDiva noted in her entry that it does not have to be a marriage in the traditional sense. She said it could be your soul mate. Love and happiness can exist in couplehood.

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 10:27 AM | Link to this

Cee I was thinking of going Sunday until I realized football will be on. Maybe will head that way end of the month.

By M'Karyl

January 13, 2009 10:27 AM | Link to this

@Kym

LMAO…tax breaks and health insurance…uh-huh.

I was reared in a very traditional community of families who had longevity in their marriage committments…so I was greatly influenced by how much effort was necessary to make the committment work…and I think that the mose successful marriages that I know are built on that foundation…and in its absence, I do not think any marriage is on solid ground.

It is not marriage perse that is an issue, it is the reason why ppl do it…and something that should be revered seems to have become a game of hit or miss…and that is sad…that for some ppl the true meaning of why the committment has been made is being lost…MELO had a very good and honest post as to why it is important to him…committment to tradition, legacy, honor, family.

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 10:30 AM | Link to this

I believe love and marriage exists better in most “couplehoods” than having that piece of paper. That 8 1/2 x 11 piece of papers plays tricks on both the man and woman and a whole new personality seems to emerge. The psychological stronghold this piece of paper represents blows my mind. Nope, you guys can keep that papers…ENJOY!

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 10:31 AM | Link to this

Melo I can be all about compromise, sharing, caring, giving and taking..without getting married. I am a parent, a daughter, niece and sister. I have practiced the art of compromise, sharing, caring and giving since birth and with my family into adulthood. The mind set is not just needed to be married it is need in day to day relationships.

Maybe I am just in smartazz mode to day…

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 10:32 AM | Link to this

ok, guys, well..don’t get too hung up on the endure part of the entry, I will edit it, if it would help. We know that It ain’t always rainbows and sunshine in dating, and that is NORMAL, but we endure the low points because the good stuff outweighs it.

Thanks Raqi, it’s funny how we can have the outspoken rants about the negative but the good stuff has to be PULLED out of us, LOL! For those of us who want to be with someone special, it’s nice to think about why we wait on the right person, because it’s so good when you find the right fit for you. Sadly, many of us have not felt that before!

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 10:33 AM | Link to this

That 8 1/2 x 11 piece of papers plays tricks on both the man and woman and a whole new personality seems to emerge. The psychological stronghold this piece of paper represents blows my mind. Nope, you guys can keep that papers…ENJOY!

Damn Leggs. Maybe you would have felt differently if the situation had been different. As we can see from this board alone, that peice of paper is working for some just fine!

Don’t blame the paper! lol

By Angie

January 13, 2009 10:33 AM | Link to this

couplehood is good and dandy, BUT why not have it all? make it official.

By The Truth

January 13, 2009 10:34 AM | Link to this

Good morning folks.

Dating is cool. Actually even being married was cool for me because I still did whatever I wanted to do. She has another take on it but hey. LOL

Looking at the successful couples I know they all have two things in common. 1) No kids. Even the neighbor that lost his wife had no kids. PG, and I would consider them successful, have no kids. 2) They take frequent vacations together. Maybe its a coincidence but all the couples I know that have been together for many years travel alot together. And I do mean alot. Usually 4 times or more a year plus mini road trips. Maybe they do it because they still enjoy each others company.

Poppa I watched Slumdog Millionaire yesterday and it was good. I can see why it won those awards. That was some hard living.

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 10:35 AM | Link to this

I believe love and marriage exists better in most “couplehoods” than having that piece of paper. That 8 1/2 x 11 piece of papers plays tricks on both the man and woman and a whole new personality seems to emerge. The psychological stronghold this piece of paper represents blows my mind. Nope, you guys can keep that papers…ENJOY!

By WTF???

January 13, 2009 10:36 AM | Link to this

Kym - Perhaps it is merely the 4 hours of watching the baddest man on the planet in the last two nights?

Jack Bauer makes me wanna break bad too.

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 10:38 AM | Link to this

Additionally for me being married means that I don’t have to be “strong” all of the time, it’s OK for me to be scared, to not always have the “right” answer to every situation/curve ball in life because my husband is willing and capable of taking care of it. And when the vestitudes of life are wearing on me/us….he lets me “check out” because he has our/my back.

To know that we working together for “our” good.

By Tazzee

January 13, 2009 10:42 AM | Link to this

The Truth no kids and travel together a lot. That’s my kind of life!

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 10:44 AM | Link to this

Kym Yea, were going too. I was thinking to incorporate seeing King and the Great Pharaohs visit in February. in February since…well you know

By Angie

January 13, 2009 10:44 AM | Link to this

if y’all keep saying that you don’t want this and that, ya not going to get it! it is crazy to have been through a bad relationship or marriage and then turn around and rule it out. pick ya self up, stop being bitter and try again.

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 10:45 AM | Link to this

Truth, I know couples I’d deem successful that do have kids. But I do see where it’s easier to focus on your spouse without the distractions.

Marriage is a must for me. But I’m still not at the point where kids are.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 10:46 AM | Link to this

Leggs that paper doesn’t play tricks on anyone. We do that. That paper is flawless and unbiased. Now we humans…not so much.

By M'Karyl

January 13, 2009 10:48 AM | Link to this

@WD

Yeah, the endure part…no one is talking about water torture tactics here…lol…perhaps, as I inferred it, meaning to move through the difficult times, the uncertain times and the disagreeable times…and still honor the committment to be together…for some ppl, the moment the sense of well-being is interrupted by a dilemma of sorts…they want to it the road…endure meaning just get through the inevitable rough spots.

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 10:53 AM | Link to this

Don’t get me wrong ARed, I’m not talking just from my experience. I’ve witnessed many couples change because they’ve put their signature on a marriage license. I know that piece of paper works for a lot of people, and I know it makes some flip the script. Not blaming the paper, blaming how people change because of the paper. As someone stated earlier, this happens when ppl go into marriage for the wrong reasons. That’s the bottom line!

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 10:58 AM | Link to this

Not blaming the paper, blaming how people change because of the paper. As someone stated earlier, this happens when ppl go into marriage for the wrong reasons.

Leggs, I’d argue then that maybe those people changed because they married the wrong person. If you’re in a situation where you are unhappy, of course you’re gonna change, marriage or not.

But I get you point.

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 10:58 AM | Link to this

Don’t get me wrong ARed, I’m not talking just from my experience. I’ve witnessed many couples change because they’ve put their signature on a marriage license. I know that piece of paper works for a lot of people, and I know it makes some flip the script. Not blaming the paper, blaming how people change because of the paper. As someone stated earlier, this happens when ppl go into marriage for the wrong reasons. That’s the bottom line!

By The Truth

January 13, 2009 11:01 AM | Link to this

Raqi that piece of paper isn’t flawless. Actually its meaningless until you give it meaning, which alot of folks have failed to do.

Angie bitter would be if you sat around and wanted something you cant have. The key is what do you want when you’re at home alone? I never think about being married and never about kids. I’m more about spending time with a chick I care about and then sending her home.

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 11:03 AM | Link to this

Stormy

The reasons stated in your 10:38 are why I would unreservedly, entirely, unconditionally, enthusiastically buy into mans team. Yep, i’d sign on the dotted line.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 11:03 AM | Link to this

WiseDiva yeah it’s easy to zero in on one word or set of words in an attempt to discredit the entire intent. We have got to stop doing that.

By MELO

January 13, 2009 11:04 AM | Link to this

I can be all about compromise, sharing, caring, giving and taking..without getting married TRUE,but if in rebuttal of my post,u gotta look at my post in totality. I got family,tradition,perpetuation,pedigree,kids outa wedlock(bastaaard),history all in there making the gumbo of my post.Thats what matters in totality. I can share,give and care for a and with with a prostitute,u knowwwww!!

By laceitup

January 13, 2009 11:04 AM | Link to this

Some of yall knw that yall don’t have an ounce of love in yall bones nor do you know how to recieve love less more give love without conditions on it…. It doesn’t really matter what the other looks like. The other’s looks, income, personality, attitudes, etc., are a matter of the randomness of Destiny’s Dice. It is possible to fall in love with a person who is nothing like the persons you usually find attractive. It is even possible to fall in love with a person you do not like very much. It is not the other’s qualities that cause you to fall in love

By Foots

January 13, 2009 11:08 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli Thanks for asking. I did talk to him about it briefly last night and he said that it was my decision. He said he’d read them if I wanted him to, but he didn’t NEED to read them before I posted. He said he trusted my judgement on how personal was too personal, so basically, he didn’t need to police it. I’m not the type to tear him down in a public forum, so he doesn’t have that to worry about.

So it’s up to me, I guess. And it’s kinda funny because I only have about 60 friends on Myspace anyway, so it’s not like the world would see it. What’s your email address? I’ll send them to you when I get home.

Tazzee/Angie/Others Thanks for the advice.

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 11:14 AM | Link to this

I don’t have to be “strong” all of the time, it’s OK for me to be scared, to not always have the “right” answer to every situation/curve ball in life because my husband is willing and capable of taking care of it. And when the vestitudes of life are wearing on me/us….he lets me “check out” because he has our/my back.

To know that we working together for “our” good.

Dang, ^^^that is me! You’re all in my closet wit that one!

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 11:15 AM | Link to this

Angie, being together IS the official to many people, that’s the great thing about relationships - you find the person who shares your ideas about commitment. If you are smart, you don’t let other people’s opinions dictate what works for you and your mate. I think many folks would have been better off as in a long term committed relationship (infinity and beyond! LOL) then husband/wife, LOL.

By WTF???

January 13, 2009 11:16 AM | Link to this

laceitup - I think falling in love with someone you aren’t “attracted” to in the later stages of life is possible, once the sexual desires have began to subside a bit I suppose. But I most definitely have to be attracted physically to a person in order to open myself up to them. I dunno….

By WTF???

January 13, 2009 11:17 AM | Link to this

foots - How are ya? I saw where dude was baggin on ya hard yesterday. What was up with all that?

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 11:19 AM | Link to this

Truth I see it as a set of rules. A set of rules that we both have agreed to follow. That’s why I feel that before anyone does it they need to sit down with their intended and a mediator if need be and find out what their understanding is of said rules. As with any other law it works the same for all that follow.

But we as people want to have it the Burger King way.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 11:22 AM | Link to this

If you are smart, you don’t let other people’s opinions dictate what works for you and your mate.

Somethings need to be repeated.

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 11:26 AM | Link to this

Melo Whateva works for you. Do you.

WTF Nawww I just have smartazz moments from time to time..and this topic always gets to me. Because I have never really ever in my life thought about marriage. I didnt really want to be a mom until I loss a child and then when I had my son I was content with motherhood but marriage.ugh!

I could shack-up with someone..or have a long term relationship where ole dude stayed over there and I stayed over here and be just as content.

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 11:30 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli

My husband and I have been through a lot together (life/death/miscarriages)and he has my total confidence, I trust him and his judgment 100%.

When my brother was killed in a horrible car accident, he took care of me. When I cried for 48 hours straight, he stayed by my bedside, wiped my snotty nose, brushed my hair, held me and prayed for me. He has seen me at my weakest and built me up, give me a portion of his strenght until I could stand on my own.

We have seen each other through the good, bad and ugly….and every mountain/valley in our relationship has tighten our bond….I guess that’s beacause we realize that we in it for the long haul and we took our vows very seriously….until death do us part.

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 11:30 AM | Link to this

Leggs What you said about the paper changing people I had someone express that early when I mention this topic. They said the paper does make a difference. I always ask what were you doing before that is so different with the paper. They were more along the lines of the Christian aspect. Making it right before the Lord.

By The Truth

January 13, 2009 11:31 AM | Link to this

Raqi that may be why I don’t like marriage. I don’t want to live by some pre-detetmined rules. I reserve the right to change them up as I see fit.

I think marriages worked much better when they were arranged. In those cases both parties were prepared and trained to do their jobs. Now the whole thing is dictated by how you “feel” at any given moment. As we have seen this system isn’t working.

Either way its not for me. Been there and done it.

By Foots

January 13, 2009 11:33 AM | Link to this

WTF I saw where dude was baggin on ya hard yesterday. What was up with all that

HEY THERE!! I’m cool. What’s up with you? I must have missed something yesterday, I checked out early to finish up some work. Who was on me?

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 13, 2009 11:34 AM | Link to this

*Even the most jaded and bitter of us can come up with at least three great things about love and happiness, I know you can do it! And cue crickets!!!!! LOL

Swiss was it a let down to be first love? No exhilarating feeling like when you bite into a York peppermint patty? LMAO!

ARED There is a certain sense of guilt that comes with doing things outside of a wedded union. You know I too have experience that guilty feeling. So should I get hitched so I can morally screw? LOL

WTF I think falling in love with someone you aren’t “attracted” to in the later stages of life is possible, once the sexual desires have began to subside a bit I suppose No that is called Cataract or Glaucoma. You can’t see them any way! LOL

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 11:37 AM | Link to this

Stormy I gotta get some tissue…that’s whats up

By Angie

January 13, 2009 11:38 AM | Link to this

The key is what do you want when you’re at home alone? good point!

foots yw. go ahead and post them. i think you’re going to be surprised at the response you’ll get.

wise it felt official to me. now that’s not enough for ya gurl. i want it all!

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 11:39 AM | Link to this

Stormy, thank you for sharing those words. I hope your union continues to be blessed.

So sorry for the loss of your brother.

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 11:43 AM | Link to this

You know I too have experience that guilty feeling. So should I get hitched so I can morally screw? LOL

Staceye, Yes. LOL

If marriage is something that you desire anyway. ;-)

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 11:44 AM | Link to this

SlimOne???

Are you here?

By Angie

January 13, 2009 11:44 AM | Link to this

hi staceye!

Now the whole thing is dictated by how you “feel” at any given moment. my whole outlook has changed regarding marriage. i plan on obeying it.

thanks raqi’s dad!

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 11:45 AM | Link to this

Stormy, that’s a marriage and that also a friendship..sorry to read about the loss of your brother!

By MELO

January 13, 2009 11:49 AM | Link to this

If u think about it,some of the things we ordinarily do,everyday, we do coz its the law,custom or just how we wanna do it.With marriage,if there isnt strong family ties in ur family,u bound not to want to do it.Coz its second nature.And if u have strong family ties,smetimes u do it coz of the pride it brings to the family,even when initially u wld have balked at the idea.I think if i had grown up in a society as liberal and azz loose as this one,with my fam over there, i wld have be tempted to go AWOL and just do my thang.What with all this azz around just waiting to be hit.I cld have been okay too.Im kinda glad that my entry into the states waz well after my youth and i was able to grasp and retain my fam values.In cali they do marriages that are custom made.So nothing is predetemined there unlike what Truth says.U just go along with the one u vibe with and customize ur own union.As long as there is understanding.Some of u wont even be married and wld never be married whether u really liked it or not so take that into consideration as well.Go with whats possible coz u risk too much dissappointment anyway!

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 11:50 AM | Link to this

Stormy, that’s a marriage and that also a friendship..sorry to read about the loss of your brother!

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 11:51 AM | Link to this

experience that guilty feeling.

Staceye ooh those moments of guilty pleasures.

You know we still have those. Sneaking away in the middle of the afternoon when we are supposed to be working…how sweet it is. LOL

Getting groped walking across the parking lot before entering the church building.

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 11:53 AM | Link to this

When my brother was killed in a horrible car accident, he took care of me. When I cried for 48 hours straight, he stayed by my bedside, wiped my snotty nose, brushed my hair, held me and prayed for me. He has seen me at my weakest and built me up, give me a portion of his strength until I could stand on my own.

Quiet Storm :) I have’ta say. You’ve meessed me up…you really are in my closet today!

Hasn’t ANYTHING to do with “material” for me and wanting the union. The intertwine of my heart with his heart and that he will have my back is what i desire…

k, i need to go to lunch now…

By Foots

January 13, 2009 11:55 AM | Link to this

three great things about love and happiness

I’m not all that deep into mine yet, so I can’t speak on the “support through hard times” or the “for better or worse” aspect. But I do love spending time with him, doing silly stuff like being wrapped up on the couch watching reality shows.

I love sleeping in the bed with him (not the freaky stuff…well, yeah that too), mostly just how he likes to be so close while he’s asleep. He can be halfway comatose and if I move, he can adjust so we’ll still fit together just right.

I love how he’ll do things for me, even if it’s clear that he’d rather shoot out his own teeth with a 12 gauge.

I love his scent and the fact that even if I’m only there overnight, I carry it with me.

There is plenty to love about being in this relationship. Plenty to make me pull my eyelashes out too, but she ain’t ask about that. LOL!

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

January 13, 2009 11:55 AM | Link to this

Hello All! I can see this topic has the blog jumpin! I’ll drop my 2 cents and keep lurking unless something else prompts me to do otherwise.

I agree with most of your posts Stormy. I am divorced but I would love to be married again someday. I loved that I had someone that always had my back, that I could laugh & joke with, that wasnt afraid to tell me about me (good & bad) and that showed me that someone else could take care of me like me. Now granted we didnt work, but I recognize my part in that and that is why I have no problem with the idea of being married again. Me personally, just my own lil opinion, I feel like you get more of a person with a committment like marriage. Again thats just me and my opinion

Now does anyone have any snacks? A sistah is a lil famished?

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 11:56 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli/Ared

My brother was killed before we were even married…we had only been dating for about six months when my brother was killed. We were married about 1 1/2 years later.

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 11:57 AM | Link to this

….Dang!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 13, 2009 11:58 AM | Link to this

Stormy Wow…I am sorry about your brother mami. But I am glad your hubby was your rock.

ARED Girl I think I’d have panic attacks at the tought of being married! LOL I think my experienes have turned me into a commit-a-phobe!

**Hey there Angie! How’s Cali? I saw on the news how warm it is out there? Can a sista come crash on your couch? LOL

Raqi There should be no guilt for getting your freak on with your hubby! See that is how you got the lil’ princess inside you right now…having nooners (meeting up at lunch time for hot sex on a platter)! LOL

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 12:01 PM | Link to this

Stormy, you have a real winner of a husband. And I’m sure he feels the same.

Staceye, of course there are things that give me pause about marriage…but I feel with the right person it will be worth it. And of course I feel I’m worth it. LOL

By laceitup

January 13, 2009 12:03 PM | Link to this

let me clarify when I said yall I don’t mean yall on the blog…just yall in general.

wtf?? love is not based solely on attraction..You’re missing out on a lot by thinking it is.

Staceye even somebody fell in love with Ray Charles.

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 12:06 PM | Link to this

Melo I will grant you that family background is important but not in all cases. All of the cousins(in my age grouping 30-45) minus five or six are married there are some shackers. But we come from a very traditional southern baptist dirt floor preaching family. Our aunts, uncles and parents are all or were married.

Like Truth I don’t do so well with rules..well in my case I enjoy the law..but I am not a traditionalist I have made with peace with that only late last year..and learn to love being outside the box. Now for me to tell my family..good grief..they have just come to tolerate me and my ideas..it works best that way.

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 12:07 PM | Link to this

Hell, someone fell in love w/Flava Flav!

By MELO

January 13, 2009 12:09 PM | Link to this

I can understand that Kym.There are alwayz sme black sheep in every fam.

By Rell

January 13, 2009 12:10 PM | Link to this

blank stare<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

on this topic….lol….bwoi….

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 12:12 PM | Link to this

Hell, someone fell in love w/Flava Flav!

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 13, 2009 12:15 PM | Link to this

Late weighing in on this.

I think the only thing worse than being married is being single…there has to be a better alternative to both!!!

All humor aside, early in this blog Raqi and Leggs said it well. There is a comfort that comes from a deep relationship that usually makes it worthwhile. There is a reason that single men live the shortest lifespans. Personally, I like deep personal relationships. I’ve been divorced for nine years and while being single is better than being in a bad marriage, I still miss the comfort and security of having someone beside me at night. I rarely drink by myself, and it is great when one can pour a cople of glasses of wine, put on some soft music, and slow dance in the kitchen while the food is cooking.

I enjoy a lady being my best friend and confidant, someone to talk to, someone to protect when necessary, but still someone who does not ahead of me, or behind me, but beside me exploring life together. I personally do not cultivate many “male” friendships, although I do have some.

On the flip side, there is a bit of effort that has to go into successful relationships on both parts. Women can be a pain in the butt. Being single, if I want to sit in my boxers and watch TV, or go get a beer, or leave the dishes in the sink for awhile, I can do that.

Regarding “happy marriages”, again the most important ingrediant is not the love, not the passion even, it is the mutual respect and just genuinely liking each other. At the end of the day, for me, if a lady is not interesting out of bed, she is not interesting in bed…I like to have a good conversation sometimes. Pillow talk is good.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 13, 2009 12:15 PM | Link to this

Mo Go get your Pepsi! LOL It felt good to be home in NY where Pepsi was everywhere…not muddy water tasting Coke! I even had a Cherry Pepsi when I was there.

WTF & Leggs You do know that if they weren;t who they were they woudl not have gotten that love! LOL I mean would Beyonce be with Jay-Z Joe Camel looking azz if it was not for his career, status and money. Face it…money can make somebody look a lot better! LOL Granted I can’t do it….I am not laying down wiht your money I’m laying down with you!

By Foots

January 13, 2009 12:16 PM | Link to this

lace love is not based solely on attraction..You’re missing out on a lot by thinking it is

No, I don’t think that’s what WTF said. He said that he’d have to be attracted to someone to open up to them. Attraction is so varied that it’s not just about looks. But even if it is, it doesn’t change the fact that attraction is our initial pull to each other. Even that falling in love feeling after initial attraction is chemical. It’s that “deciding to be in love” action that makes it real.

I personally look for a lot in an individual and yes, I do want to be attracted to him. Since I’ve dated men with a whole variety of looks (short/tall, a little heavy/a little too skinny, white collar/blue collar, etc), attraction is more just than looks for me, it’s something I can’t describe, but I know it when I feel it.

I can be in a whole room full of attractive men and not be attracted to a single one of them. So think of attraction as just that initial pull that makes you want to get to know more about a person.

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 12:16 PM | Link to this

Leggs

Someone did (Flava Flav)….a whole bunch of times cuz he got a gang of kids. Well, maybe not love him…..but liked sexxing him. LMAO

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 12:18 PM | Link to this

Melo I am hardly a black sheep.

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 12:20 PM | Link to this

Regarding “happy marriages”, again the most important ingrediant is not the love, not the passion even, it is the mutual respect and just genuinely liking each other.

RandyT, I agree. I think my grandparents have a passion that kept them together for over 60 years.

But I think my parents had a mutual respect for each other that has kept them together for over 30. Two very different examples I’ve seen.

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 12:21 PM | Link to this

Cue all the romantics swooning over Randy-T’s post. Howdy Randy-T!!

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 12:22 PM | Link to this

Foots it’s the lighthearted stuff that keeps the giddiness alive and kicking. Sometimes I get this kinda school girl crush on him just thinking seeing him walk thru the door in the evenings. It’s those day that help you make it thru the rough patches.

All the other deep important matters more but I like the fluffiness of it all.

By kimmie

January 13, 2009 12:24 PM | Link to this

Melo - I’m liking what you’re posting today about family and tradition. Those values are important in a lot of cultures outside of the US. It’s interesting to see the dynamic - I talk to others I work with of different cultural backgrounds and their outlook. Its a bond you have that sheilds you from a lot of mess in the world, something to stand for and defend. Family traditions are very strong for me too and shape my outlook on relationships. Growing up we took not wanting to disappoint or make the family look bad very seriously. There are some things I just won’t do because of how I was brought up. That mindset has served me well. There is an Indian family that lives a few doors down from my SO. Their son is in the same class with my SO’s son. You see the mother and relatives in the native dress sometimes and they have gatherings. My SO said he wished his family had that same kind of closeness and heritage to draw from.

By M'Karyl

January 13, 2009 12:28 PM | Link to this

@Stormy

Wonder ‘ow crunked dem dames ‘ad ta be…lol…or ‘ow much $$$ got flashed…Flav ain’t an option in a drought…lol…that why there are mechanical men…lol

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 12:29 PM | Link to this

LOL Staceye. You may right. It’s something about those stealing away afternoon rendezvous’ that makes it so darn hot. Those skirt above the waist, pants around the ankles, don’t waste time taking your suit jacket off, doing it up against the hotel room door that keeps me going back for more.

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 12:29 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Glaucoma, good one, Staceye

pour a couple of glasses of wine, put on some soft music, and slow dance in the kitchen while the food is cooking -and this is why I heart Randyt!

Foots, your post was sweeeet!

You guys are doing great, by the time Valentine’s day rolls around, you will be ready to talk about true love and soul mates, LOL!

By Rell

January 13, 2009 12:32 PM | Link to this

pour a couple of glasses of wine, put on some soft music, and slow dance in the kitchen while the food is cooking

lol….really….lmao

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 12:35 PM | Link to this

Thanks for all of the condolences, guys.

M’Karyl You are soooo right, he will NEVER be an option. LOL I can’t imagine…..neva mind!!! LOL

By Blow Me

January 13, 2009 12:35 PM | Link to this

Truth Now the whole thing is dictated by how you “feel” at any given moment. As we have seen this system isn’t working

You are the reason why it’s not working!! lol

• reserve the right to change them up as I see fit.*

You can’t stick to them…THING is..EVERYONE IS NOT LIKE YOU!! I think that’s the part you do not seem to get! Get out of YOUR box! At the rate you are going you are gonna have alot of time to spend by yourself. lol

GOOD AFTERNOON ALL

By Angie

January 13, 2009 12:36 PM | Link to this

wise lol. i forgot about V-day!!! hmmm

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 12:41 PM | Link to this

I still miss the comfort and security

Randy it’s sad that so many people will not admit to needing or wanting that sense of comfort. Even when I am not exacting feeling Mase I still like to know he is there.

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 12:45 PM | Link to this

oh yes, I love romance and intimacy, it’s wonderful.

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 13, 2009 12:45 PM | Link to this

Hi WD, Kym, AmazonRed, and all.

Jack Bauer groupie Me too. I watched the very first episode years ago and have been hooked like a big fish ever since. It is the only regular TV show I watch. Four years ago I went into the polling booth and looked down at George Bush and John Kerry and could not, in good conscience, vote for either…so I typed in (where you can write in a candidate) Jack Bauer - 24. True story!!! I figured he could solve all of the country’s problems in just 24 hours (spread out an hour at a time for 24 weeks). The last two nights have been pretty good at, as usual, getting the audience confused about who are the good guys and who are the bad guys.

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 12:47 PM | Link to this

RandyT, I’m still looking for this, w/or w/o marriage—->I still miss the comfort and security of having someone beside me at night. I rarely drink by myself, and it is great when one can pour a cople of glasses of wine, put on some soft music, and slow dance in the kitchen while the food is cooking. Oh yeah! That right there is a beautiful thing.

Staceye, yes I realize that tidbit about their status. But, Brigette Nelson and Flava Flav were both dopeheads that found a bond (through dope). You see, sometimes dope/alcohol doesn’t make a person look better. They both looked a continual hot mess.

Again EXCELLENT POST RandyT!

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 12:52 PM | Link to this

RandyT, I’m still looking for this, w/or w/o marriage—->I still miss the comfort and security of having someone beside me at night. I rarely drink by myself, and it is great when one can pour a cople of glasses of wine, put on some soft music, and slow dance in the kitchen while the food is cooking. Oh yeah! That right there is a beautiful thing.

Staceye, yes I realize that tidbit about their status. But, Brigette Nelson and Flava Flav were both dopeheads that found a bond (through dope). You see, sometimes dope/alcohol doesn’t make a person look better. They both looked a continual hot mess.

Again EXCELLENT POST RandyT!

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 13, 2009 12:53 PM | Link to this

@Rell

Re: pour a couple of glasses of wine, put on some soft music, and slow dance in the kitchen while the food is cooking …I know it sounds smaltzy, but even if one’s sole goal is to get lucky, this is still a great idea. I do it because I enjoy it, but have to admit I have gotten PLENTY of rug burns because of doing it too ;-)

By M'Karyl

January 13, 2009 12:55 PM | Link to this

Well…so now, I have a perfect stranger whom I have never met…’cept for emails, etc…coming up from Raleigh to take me to dinner tonight…need to make a decision about where to go eat and such…this ought to be interesting…lol…he is a firefighter…one of my favorite groups of peeps…ought to be fun…lol…wonder where I will decide to go…I do not know if I want to go to Ghent or over to the Beach.

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 12:56 PM | Link to this

oh yea, we going to be doing some things after the wine/music/dancing in the kitchen, LOL, but a smart man/woman knows this is all considered foreplay!

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 12:57 PM | Link to this

…mmm

Kym Where they hayo you at when i’m having a “moment”. dag, tough love!

Foots check mail.

By Angie

January 13, 2009 12:58 PM | Link to this

i usually don’t like valentines day, but i think imma go about it a different way this year. something original … fun.

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 1:04 PM | Link to this

RandyT Jack is BACK!!! and for the next what 24 weeks..I live in the United States of 24. Did you watch the Redemption(sp) episodes..if not go online and watch you get background. You are so right..I have no clue who to trust. I want to say the ex-partner is on the up and up..but I am not so sure. GHave you checked out Leverage? I live in that world on Tuesday nights.

By Angie

January 13, 2009 1:05 PM | Link to this

and it’s on a saturday!

By MELO

January 13, 2009 1:06 PM | Link to this

This is a dating blog but so slow today coz u talking about marriage..wow.So most just wana sling that azz to the baddest guy/chic guy and keep it moving.Maybe if God puts an expiration date on that thang will some of u re-consider ur priorities.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 1:08 PM | Link to this

Love & Happiness…this dumb keeps ringing in my head.

This here —-> someone’s on the phone three o’clock in the morning talkin’ about how she can make it right was me one time. Yep I screwed up and to get back I made that dreaded call pleading my case.

However I am not the only one in this relationship that made that move. But hey you do what you gotta do when you feel it’s worth having.

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 1:08 PM | Link to this

Cee Why are you having a moment?

By M'Karyl

January 13, 2009 1:12 PM | Link to this

@Melo

Maybe if God puts an expiration date on that thang will some of u re-consider ur priorities.

LMAO…I think one way or another Mother Nature takes care of that…put I have heard that the hole last longer than the pole…lol

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 1:13 PM | Link to this

Doing the dishes together can be foreplay. Him helping fold sheets has led to some rolling around in them.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 1:14 PM | Link to this

…this dumb song keeps ringing…

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 1:15 PM | Link to this

Melo Tell me what are “my priorities”? Who decides those priorites other than me?

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 1:17 PM | Link to this

I am a 24 ADDICT, and I got my fixed on the past 2 nights!

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 1:17 PM | Link to this

However Diva we all have been known to mistake it for when it wasn’t.

By Angie

January 13, 2009 1:19 PM | Link to this

a single person’s priority list should not consist of marriage. somethings should happen naturally.

By MELO

January 13, 2009 1:21 PM | Link to this

what are “my priorities”?Who decides those priorites other than me? Thats why i said ur,coz only u decide whats 1st and whats last.Ur priorities are shaped by ur value system.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 1:22 PM | Link to this

Thinking about those unintentional romantic gestures…

You know sometimes you men folk can be hellah hot when you don’t even know nor are you trying to be.

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 1:22 PM | Link to this

I am a 24 ADDICT, and I got my fixed on the past 2 nights!

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 1:26 PM | Link to this

Melo Your statement read as if you seem to know what other’s priorities should be. So I asked u to clarify.

By Angie

January 13, 2009 1:28 PM | Link to this

something must have happened to where you are making sense now. but it tickles me how you manage to always fit azz/puddy somewhere in your post.

By Rell

January 13, 2009 1:29 PM | Link to this

but a smart man/woman knows this is all considered foreplay!

word diva is that right….smh…ya know what is sooo funny…alot of WOMEN have no idea about foreplay…all they do is cosign off the sh it that is done to them…you hardly meet forward thinking women that realize romance works going both ways…so i got your shot….but you missed!!!!

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 13, 2009 1:31 PM | Link to this

Doing the dishes together can be foreplay. Him helping fold sheets has led to some rolling around in them. LOL

Been there, done that, got both of those t-shirts ;-).

By MELO

January 13, 2009 1:33 PM | Link to this

Nope,i was proly emphasizing a given in terms of diversity in priorities albeit a bit askance or surprised that u wld kinda sense that on a dating blog,most pple wld want to date to marry.

By Tazzee

January 13, 2009 1:36 PM | Link to this

melo I don’t think the comments are slow because:

“most just wana sling that azz to the baddest guy/chic guy and keep it moving”

I think it’s because most of us aren’t married and so we’re looking to the folks that are married or in LTRs to expound on the virtues of said relationship.

At least that’s where I’m coming from.

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 1:36 PM | Link to this

Angie I am enjoying reading Melo these last couple of days. But you are right, he does find a way to bring sex into every post. LOL

Melo Your love-light is showing!!!!

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 13, 2009 1:39 PM | Link to this

Yeah, that is my dream…to find a beautiful nympho, who is totally faithful and loves “24”.

Did see Redemption. I was so ready for “24” to be back. It seems to me the whole world had gone to hellz in a handbasket during “24“‘s absence. I think there must be a connection. Jack straightens things out better than those simps in DC.

By MELO

January 13, 2009 1:41 PM | Link to this

so we’re looking to the folks that are married or in LTRs to expound okaay,i did that.NOW,if u want me to expound on the virtues of polygamy,i can do that too….

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 1:42 PM | Link to this

The thing about romance and foreplay…not all plays suit all players. What strums one suitor’s strings does not necessary do the same for another. While we all offer suggestions based on our experience, get to know your mate. If I say touch me here don’t touch me there because it’s what the last woman liked.

Don’t bother to cook me dinner when I would rather eat out. Don’t send me roses when I prefer lilies.

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 1:44 PM | Link to this

Tazzee You got it! Lookit me, all teared up today!

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 1:49 PM | Link to this

alot of WOMEN have no idea about foreplay <== really? you know this how exactly? Just curious. You mean the women you bag? Or the women you poll in conversations about sex?

By Tazzee

January 13, 2009 1:50 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli That post by Stormy got me too.

melo naw, I’ll pass on the virtues of polygamy - you NUT!!!!

By MELO

January 13, 2009 1:53 PM | Link to this

find a way to bring sex into every post u right.U right.Being married myself and from my male view, i cld give u all the money to take care of the kids and do the things that females like to do when they are in this union,but if that incentive or lollipop aint available or being given attn,a man will withdraw the flow of that spigot.It sounds so puerile and petty but trust me,its BIG.And i have been surprised thru reading this blog that there are females who dont like sexx even tho they like to be married.What are they smoking,that they have to feel so lala.??? Unless a man is undercover gay,they are so simple,if they want marriage.No nagging,no too much talking,sexx,take care of the kids,cook(even if its not eveday),maintain a clean house,dress to impress like be4 and respect the man,thats it. Now go out and find one.

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 1:54 PM | Link to this

Melo And so far no one has said a damn thang that has me ready to change my mind.

Romping in the sheets,(done that-not married) feeding me while I am sick,(had it— he was married but not to me) holding me up when I lost my mom..(yep had plenty of folks to hold me up and a male companion to show up at the service) Look..everything is not for everybody.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 1:57 PM | Link to this

LOL Randy it could be the oddest things sometimes. I was just passing thru the den one day and Mason was down on the floor playing with the mega blocks with my grandson. Man I tell you the very sight of that had me wanting to rip that man’s clothes off and make babies with him.

It’s funny when the “it” just pounces you like that. You don’t even see it coming.

By laceitup

January 13, 2009 1:57 PM | Link to this

I still miss the comfort and security of having someone beside me at night. I rarely drink by myself, and it is great when one can pour a cople of glasses of wine, put on some soft music, and slow dance awww RandyT I love romance

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 1:59 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli/Tazzee

It got me teared up typing it. I think what got me the most was…he prayed for me OUT LOUD over and over while he was holding me. I never had any guy do that. And no matter how times I told him to go…I’d be OK, he would not leave, HE NEVER LEFT.

Everytime he gets on my last nerve….I think about that day and other days we have shared and I fall in love with him all over again.

By MELO

January 13, 2009 2:02 PM | Link to this

I got this Paid Invoices spreadsheet with a coloumn representing Business days and 5 other coloums in there representing the aging of invoices,0-21,22-30,31-60,61-90 and 91+.Im trying to input nested IF statements so that the invoices within those 5 segments can be sorted.Anybody wanna help me with that nested IF formulae.Appreciate.

By MELO

January 13, 2009 2:03 PM | Link to this

Look..everything is not for everybody we agree.

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 2:05 PM | Link to this

Tazzee I’m so done with Stormy & her Mr. :)! That got me!

I had an epiphany. God’s gonna do that thang!

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 13, 2009 2:05 PM | Link to this

Re: Foreplay.

People have a bad habit (myself included sometimes) of assuming what they like, how they like to be touched, what turns them on, is the same for their partner. Men may like to tuched roughly, while a woman may like to be touched softly…get to know your lover, it is worth the effort. NEVER ASSUME.

It is also a good idea to update and sort of recheck every once in awhile so that if your partner is “evolving” you are not operating under “old” romance/foreplay information. A lady may like flowers now, but a year from now might like neck/foot massages…women DO change and a lot of marriages/relationships hit the rocks because we men are sometimes too dayum dumb to notice. It is what it is. (Got that “t-shirt” too but finally was smart enough to heave it).

By Rell

January 13, 2009 2:06 PM | Link to this

alot of WOMEN have no idea about foreplay <== really? you know this how exactly? Just curious. You mean the women you bag? Or the women you poll in conversations about sex?

no i mean sassy mouth women like you!!!!…..how many times have you done something extra romantic for you SO….i mean something extra dayum cheesing like dancing in the kitchen while the food is cooking…my point is men think of things like that not women…no matter the poll women need stuff to bring up to there girlfriends or a BLOG….that was done by there MAN/SO has a token of there love…women only takens they will give is…sloppy/uninteresting head….sex…a hot meal…outside of that…men dont get treated like “kings” or whatever you call it…maybe on bday or a holiday but day to day….shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii….let one women in a office get flowers from someone..and watch how the rest of the women start to think on there situation and why there man is not sweet/romantic like hers…or why he is not making her feel special…but i know its coming from me so it has to be debated like i am talking nonsense!!!

By laceitup

January 13, 2009 2:07 PM | Link to this

Have fun with it M’Karyl don’t think about the date for me that’s when I fall into the date mode and miss out on a fun evening.

By Angie

January 13, 2009 2:09 PM | Link to this

i just received a text inviting me on a road trip this w/e. they act like i don’t have kids. lol. and on top of that, i dislike babysitters. they never do what they are told.

wise who said that? i would rather have foreplay than sex.

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 13, 2009 2:14 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

It’s funny when the “it” just pounces you like that. You don’t even see it coming.

It is so easy to forget that most of the time it is the little things one does that rejuvenate a relationship…not the big ones. I think it is true of most men, but I most immediate aphrodesiac is the simple statement “I’m proud of you”. It makes me want to throw most women down on the ground and jump their bones right there and invite the networks to broadcast it live. At the end of the day, it is respect for the man, and the little signs of affection for a woman (unless you are one of those “Real Housewives of Atlanta” where a really fat wallet seems to work best I think ;-).

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 13, 2009 2:14 PM | Link to this

melo I’d have to see that spreadsheet to see what you are talking about.

BTW you have a lot you are asking for in wife….what are you giving except money? hell I can go out and make money just like you…so now what? The kids and the house are just as much yours as mine so why would I be expected to take care of them alone? Doesn’t your belly require food just like mine? Again…why is it soley my responsibility? Now of course if I am nothing but a housewife then that is a given part of. But if I work just like you, then we split the household duties. I personally hate cooking..but will clean the hell out of a crib. So if we make a decision that you cook and I clean…then that is even. Respect the man….does he respect me is he hits on other women or cheats on me? Respect is a two way street…you get the same respect you give!

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 2:15 PM | Link to this

first of all, i don’t have a sassy mouth, I have an opinion, like you do. I know you don’t like women that have those, but that’s your issue, not mine, LOL

second of all, I am confused about how one’s idea of foreplay has to be dictated by one person, other than the one I am intimate with, I mean, you can REALLY make this statement about women based on what? I asked you to clarify your “thesis” because I didn’t agree with it and I wanted to understand what you were trying to say. How can you say women don’t know foreplay when that is a personal thing? As Raqi stated, what is foreplay to me may be polar opposite to another woman. I think that my man is the only one that needs to know what my foreplay is, and I should know his idea of it. THat one size fits all romance? BORING, don’t treat me like the other women you have had, take the time and pay attention.

By Tazzee

January 13, 2009 2:16 PM | Link to this

Stormy You’re finna send me in with that one. Definitely a keeper.

By Rell

January 13, 2009 2:16 PM | Link to this

but I most immediate aphrodesiac is the simple statement “I’m proud of you”. It makes me want to throw most women down on the ground and jump their bones right there and invite the networks to broadcast it live. At the end of the day, it is respect for the man,

TRUE…i agree and think the same way

By Cemeeli

January 13, 2009 2:16 PM | Link to this

Stormy!

I’m telling you, between listening to Jennifer Hudson and reading you. My eyes will not be no more good today! save i don’t have a meeting with anyone today

he prayed for me OUT LOUD over and over while he was holding me. I never had any guy do that. And no matter how times I told him to go…I’d be OK, he would not leave, HE NEVER LEFT.

This here ^^ is taking me aback.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 2:17 PM | Link to this

Randy it is not even all the time that we evolve it is sometimes we just aren’t feeling it that way today. What got me stirred up yesterday may not work tomorrow however on next Sunday will have me singing your praises but have me slapping your hand away the following Thursday. It likes trying to feed my husband new york strip steaks every night.

By laceitup

January 13, 2009 2:17 PM | Link to this

Wise @ 12.56 that’s an introduction to foreplay LOL

By Angie

January 13, 2009 2:19 PM | Link to this

Randyt thank you!

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 2:19 PM | Link to this

Rell I kind of like doing surprise stuff for guys I dated..you know just because stuff.

By MELO

January 13, 2009 2:22 PM | Link to this

send me ur email add,ill send u a sample of spreadhseet.

I waz speaking for me not for her.She proly will say smething a lil diff altho not complete way off coz we chose each other.Now as for u,u got to chose who u want and carefully,none who beats U,disses U or does not have similar likes/dislikes.Nothing is guaranteed,it cld fail,but it can also be a runaway success. U are top quality nd u deserve a top qulaity man too.Good luck… Now,who said foreplay

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 13, 2009 2:23 PM | Link to this

it is sometimes we just aren’t feeling it that way today. What got me stirred up yesterday may not work tomorrow

Very true, you are very right and I should have said that too. Women are changeable in the short and the long term…in totally different ways.

Part of their charm, but dayum what a minefield sometimes for us simple guys ;-)

By Rell

January 13, 2009 2:26 PM | Link to this

I have an opinion, like you do. I know you don’t like women that have those, but that’s your issue, not mine, LOL

UNTRUE…females dont phase me…i listen to only 40% of what you let fall out your pie hole…so again most of what you speak is idle chatter…

i understand foreplay and what my part is…but ok to help you out..yes some of the lack luster women i have CHOSEN had no idea…so to seperate you from the avg…so yea i chose wrong….and i got what i deserved..is that better…geesh..i swear you women are a rare breed on this blog…i would love to take your dna because if you guys are so perfect then maybe you can teach the rest of em how to be perfect princesses like yourself!!!

By DreamsMaterialize

January 13, 2009 2:28 PM | Link to this

MELO what characteristic do you want the invoices to be sorted by? Invoice age group?

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 2:31 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli/Tazzee Yeah, he’s a keeper.

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 2:32 PM | Link to this

UNTRUE…females dont phase me…i listen to only 40% of what you let fall out your pie hole…so again most of what you speak is idle chatter <==ROTFL!!

You internalize every thing so personally, I honestly marvel at it.

and Yes, I am perfect, without flaws. I mean isn’t that what I say/proclaim every single day? Goodness!

By Angie

January 13, 2009 2:34 PM | Link to this

i can’t believe i’m reading you today! keep it up.

4play is more sexual and sensual than anything else. it’s fun and i always look forward to next time.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 2:37 PM | Link to this

but dayum what a minefield sometimes for us simple guys

LOL Randy we are not that complex. Even you men folks don’t like the same ole same ole every single time. You all are scavengers so scavenge sometimes.

And we…no, I can’t stand a know it all man that gets all pouty and pyssi because I push his hand away or his head in a different direction. Follow my lead. You will get yours.

By MELO

January 13, 2009 2:38 PM | Link to this

DreamsMaterialize i want the If formulae to drop each invoice in its respective category of those 5 i highlighted.I wanna do some more wrk on the spreadsheet(graph) after i get the invoices aligned per category.Then i can make an interpretation of our paying habits for that popn.

By laceitup

January 13, 2009 2:38 PM | Link to this

Rell everybody don’t know everything…. that’s why they have books and manual on it.

I read a manual on 234 reasons to have sex so far can only come up with bout 50 of ‘em.

By Rell

January 13, 2009 2:38 PM | Link to this

You internalize every thing so personally, I honestly marvel at it.

dont…i am not tight about it…just like wow..really…all this cheesy ish going…like its real…its not…

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 2:39 PM | Link to this

You internalize every thing so personally, I honestly marvel at it.

WiseDiva, nice way to put that.

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 2:40 PM | Link to this

Rell Oh hell I am far from perfect. And I think on more than one occassion I have stated that in the years I have chatted with you folks. I think alot of people on the blog play their lives close to the vest..while others let it all hang out. I am willing to bet there are plenty of things folks are not telling on here for fear someone is watching.

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 2:43 PM | Link to this

k, Rell, I hear you, it’s not real to you. That’s expected/normal. I just won’t knock what gets another person in the mood. All I know is, in my experience, if I don’t communicate my intimacy/sexual/love needs to the person I am with, then it creates a problem.

By laceitup

January 13, 2009 2:44 PM | Link to this

Kym I always feel like somebody’s watching me ooohhh ohh

By DreamsMaterialize

January 13, 2009 2:46 PM | Link to this

MELO send me a sample. dreamsmaterialize@yahoo.com

By MELO

January 13, 2009 2:48 PM | Link to this

a good idea to update and sort of recheck every once in awhile so that if your partner is “evolving hey bro,does that mean u have checked out Trappeze to see if u may like that or u have a limit of what u can inquire into??? Ur woman may actually like it but is ashamed to ask….

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 2:48 PM | Link to this

laceitup it’s not about knowing everything is only about knowing your partner. That person you are with can tell you better than any book, manual or person on this blog how they wish to be treated.

Searching for ideas is one thing but bringing text book “unfacts” to the relationship can be lethal.

By Angie

January 13, 2009 2:49 PM | Link to this

You internalize everything so personally EVERYBODY ON THIS BLOG DOES IT!

and with that i’m out.

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 2:50 PM | Link to this

Rell

You are married w/child, right? I don’t understand why you even bothered…considering “we women” are so beneath you. Maybe you and “Truth” should get a man cave together and be roomies….really.

By Rell

January 13, 2009 2:50 PM | Link to this

Rell everybody don’t know everything…. that’s why they have books and manual on it.

rell does not know everything..but what i speak on i have experienced.

@ared…??? again i am not tight i am passing the time getting ish off my chest…i dont care..and who asked you anyway

@diva…let me ask the ladies this…did you expect your man to always take the romatic lead to keep you happy or were you willing to work your part…thats my point..alot of women EXPECT the man to take the lead in that dept…and thats why like randyt stated when things change on her end..they expect us to read mines or pay attention to see that she has changed and want something else..versus opening her pole smoker to tell us…perfect example of what i am saying is the movie bridges of madison county

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 2:53 PM | Link to this

And further on that…

We talking about distracting men when the are all up in arms one day and Kym posted where she told her ex to “hold this” while placing his hand on her breast. I tried that because I know my husand and it was hilarious, totally caught him off guard. But there is some other stuff that I read here that I just toss in the spam file and keep right on moving.

Know your partner. Cater to their interest. Live happy.

By laceitup

January 13, 2009 2:55 PM | Link to this

yeah…. but the sales quota speaks volumn Raqi so somebody’s reading/buying into it, just like this blog you besta believe somebody is taking notes on things to do/not to do in their dating/relationship/marriage JMO

By Rell

January 13, 2009 2:57 PM | Link to this

@stormy…hey black women how are you..please disregard anything BAD RELL said this is GOOD RELL and i am hear to suck up and simp up to all black queens like yourself. Yes why did he bother..i dont know but had he had a chance at a black queen like yourself i am sure his life would be different..thank you for realizing that i exist..thank you thank you thank you a 100 times…is there anything you require of me o black queen of mine?

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 2:57 PM | Link to this

@ared…??? again i am not tight i am passing the time getting ish off my chest…i dont care..and who asked you anyway

Rell, you cared enough to explain your position and to comment on this again. Let it roll off if you don’t “care” so much.

Doth protest too much.

By Rell

January 13, 2009 3:01 PM | Link to this

@ared..hey black women how are you..please disregard anything BAD RELL said this is GOOD RELL and i am hear to suck up and simp up to all black queens like yourself. Yes why did he bother..i dont know but had he had a chance at a black queen like yourself i am sure his life would be different..thank you for realizing that i exist..thank you thank you thank you a 100 times…is there anything you require of me o black queen of mine?

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 3:01 PM | Link to this

Rell, women know that it’s a two-way street. Both must go down that romatic road. As you know, problems arises when one is doing it all the time and the other is laying in the cut lapping it up. Another problem w/that romantic road is when one party does something for the other and it is brushed to the side. One encounter I did was brushed to the side and after that I spoke on it and never did that particular thing again.

By laceitup

January 13, 2009 3:01 PM | Link to this

OKay I said everybody don’t know everything (which mean you do know somethings) not everybody don’t know a darn thing …jeez

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 3:01 PM | Link to this

Raqi Now my secret is out. LOLOL!! Glad to know it worked for you.

Rell Pole smoker?? WTH???

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 3:02 PM | Link to this

Rell, women know that it’s a two-way street. Both must go down that romatic road. As you know, problems arises when one is doing it all the time and the other is laying in the cut lapping it up. Another problem w/that romantic road is when one party does something for the other and it is brushed to the side. One encounter I did was brushed to the side and after that I spoke on it and never did that particular thing again.

By MELO

January 13, 2009 3:03 PM | Link to this

mail call Dreams

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

January 13, 2009 3:03 PM | Link to this

@Melo

hey bro,does that mean u have checked out Trappeze to see if u may like that or u have a limit of what u can inquire into??? Ur woman may actually like it but is ashamed to ask….

LOL I did not say it was easy!!! The trick is to dip one’s toe in the water just a little (metaphorically speaking) by trying a little thing here a little thing there. If you pull back a bloody stump, then it is probably NEVER a good idea, if you get a lukewarm response, maybe try again at a different time like Raqi said. Just some random acts of romance just to test the waters.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 3:06 PM | Link to this

laceitup you are right, I never said not to. But what I am saying is get to know your mate and also express your desires to them. They can tell you better than anyone else.

I read Redbook mag sometimes and they have had some pretty good articles in there and have had some duds. I am not going to try to press upon my husband something that I know he does not desire because a best selling book said so.

Raqi: Mason your libido is broken. You are supposed to like this because Dr. Suess said so.

Mason: Woman yousa fool.

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 3:08 PM | Link to this

Rell

As young girls most are taught to be shy or non aggressive when it comes to sex because no one wanted to known as the “freak” but instead wanted to known as the “good girl. “And there were just certain things good girls just don’t do.” And as grown women some still hold onto that line of thinking.

For me, as a grown woman I am confident in my body….so I feel more freedom to express/initate/discuss my needs. Also being in a stable long term relationship adds another level of security for me, “I’s married now, so I can be a freak.” In addition, I think age also makes a difference.

When I was single….of course I was a lot more conservative than I am now.

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 3:08 PM | Link to this

please disregard anything BAD RELL said

This usually happens for both bad and good Rell. But will do.

By Rell

January 13, 2009 3:09 PM | Link to this

@24groupie…..hey black women how are you..please disregard anything BAD RELL said this is GOOD RELL and i am hear to suck up and simp up to all black queens like yourself. Yes why did he bother..i dont know but had he had a chance at a black queen like yourself i am sure his life would be different..thank you for realizing that i exist..thank you thank you thank you a 100 times…is there anything you require of me o black queen of mine?

By DreamsMaterialize

January 13, 2009 3:16 PM | Link to this

MELO check ya mail.

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 3:17 PM | Link to this

Rell All I was trying to figure out is what is a pole smoker? Never heard that one before. I swear dudes have a convention online or something and come up for new words for their penis or other sex acts..

By Rell

January 13, 2009 3:17 PM | Link to this

@ared…..blank stare…why?!?!?!?!

By laceitup

January 13, 2009 3:18 PM | Link to this

got it Raqi I think we all can stand to benefit ideas from each other.

By Rell

January 13, 2009 3:25 PM | Link to this

@stormy..thats my point if we look at from the real standpoint men are more romantic or let me say allowed the freedom to be….i can count on one had the number of “romantic” women i have encountered…its just not normal…

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 3:31 PM | Link to this

I have question because I know I see it here on this site every single day…

Why do men so earnestly desire an act from his woman that he turns around and uses so vulgarly as to belittle and disrespect other women?

I’m trying to keep it as clean as possible but you don’t hear woman trying to disrespect and emasculate men by referring to them in some way with the favors that we may desire of him.

By MELO

January 13, 2009 3:31 PM | Link to this

Dreams,thanx, ur 1st try will actually wrk too and i will use that.Ure a genuis!! We sharing my bonus,okaay matter of fact,drinks coz queen will thrw me out if that check is missing!!The muffakkers here think im the best thing since sliced bread….they dnt know i got people!!! Appreciate, u too Staceye

By DreamsMaterialize

January 13, 2009 3:40 PM | Link to this

MELO I did it the other way too. you can populate those fields with whatever you like. you just have to reference the cells that have the values you want displayed there. Yeah that bonus check is always nice. That was free, no worries. Now when I start my Analytic Consulting business, then that’s a different story. lol

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 3:41 PM | Link to this

Raqi, that is why I am a fan of dominatrix, LOL!

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 3:43 PM | Link to this

who ever is spamming the blog, your ip is getting flagged. Please stop.

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 3:43 PM | Link to this

Rell

I don’t think men are necessarily more romantic….I think by nature men just think about sex more.

By DreamsMaterialize

January 13, 2009 3:47 PM | Link to this

MELO I did it the other way too. you can populate those fields with whatever you like. you just have to reference the cells that have the values you want displayed there. Yeah that bonus check is always nice. That was free, no worries. Now when I start my Analytic Consulting business, then that’s a different story. lol

By MELO

January 13, 2009 3:49 PM | Link to this

uses so vulgarly as to belittle and disrespect other women? coz understand,it takes lots of luv for u to go on all fours and inspect and lick my body stuff(transmission).But if u manage to hook up smebody on the side and they still go ahead to give u that kind of luv and yet they dnt actually know u like that,u enjoy,but yeah,u kinda look them sideways.Do u look at Monica Lewinsky str8 up regular like any other woman?? I think she a special type of ho….HA!.(laugh)

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 3:49 PM | Link to this

LOL WiseDiva. Yeah. nodding my head

By Rell

January 13, 2009 3:51 PM | Link to this

@raqi

Why do men so earnestly desire an act from his woman that he turns around and uses so vulgarly as to belittle and disrespect other women?

oooo so know its disrespect…lol…women are disrespectful daily in so many ways..but if dont see it then maybe you are the one being disrespectful..smh

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 4:00 PM | Link to this

Storm Rell is actually the first guy that I have ever heard complain that men are more romantic. Most men can do without all the frilliness. The ones I know and have known are pretty much feed me, flick me and leave me alone on most days. But they know that attitude wont get them too far so they play the romance card as needed.

The holding hands, candlelight, dancing cheek to cheek is their lead up to sex so they do what they have to do. But most women can do those things and will to feel closer to their mate sans the sex.

Now I am not saying that men are never genuinely romantic because I have and do experience that occasionally in my relationship, but as he is trying to put it…nah. We are usually the ones who initiate all of the romantic gestures.

By Poppa Grande

January 13, 2009 4:00 PM | Link to this

Kym

I swear dudes have a convention online or something and come up for new words for their penis or other sex acts..

Shhhh…you were supposed to know that. Why do you think that i am coming in all late? I just left the regional convention at the Cheetah, this year’s host site for the convention.

On topic

For me, it is just good to know that someone is supporting you and rowing the boat in the same direction that you are rowing. I have my goals, and she has her goals as well. We support each other and are each other’s biggest cheerleader.

We are both workaholics and that is probably why it works. What works for us probably wouldn’t work for someone else.

Our mantra is “Work hard, Play hard”. So when we work, we give it our all (we help out each other as much as possible) and when we play……well, let’s just say we’ve played so hard that there was red toenail polish on the walls.

Stormy

So sorry to hear about your brother.

We’ve had similar things.When my wife’s grandma died from lung cancer, my wife stayed up all night crying and looking through her photos of she and her grandma through the years. She gave the story that accompanied most of the pictures everything from Disney World as a child to her grandma being at my wife’s law school graduation. She talked and I listened. That was what she needed.

Truth

I thought that you might like Slumdog Millionaire.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 4:08 PM | Link to this

melo no. You missed it. Forget about the Monica Lewinskys. What I am asking is why use that you want from your special woman to try and make other women look bad. When you refer to a woman as a pole smoker in an effort to berate and belittle her, what about your wife if she is doing the favor for you? Should she refrain seeing that you view women in with tasteless disdain that may do this? Why call a woman a rooster lollipop to make her look bad? You are saying the same about your own woman.

You all say that a woman that will not do it is simple, but you turn around and curse other woman with it.

I could see if you were saying it to a man as a derogatory gesture…

By Kym-Jack Bauer Groupie

January 13, 2009 4:11 PM | Link to this

PoppaG Well I am sorry..so what is the buzz word this year.. Rumble stick?

By Tazzee

January 13, 2009 4:13 PM | Link to this

Raqi I’m right with you on that sentiment. I had a married friend that hated going down on her husband. All she could think of was how throughout the years ‘males’ would use “suck my d*&k” as a form of insult. She eventually got over it.

By kimmie

January 13, 2009 4:13 PM | Link to this

I am working from home today. I called my manager collegue to get the scoop on a staff meeting held earlier this morning. She had me steaming! How about my boss threw me under the bus concerning some HR stuff. Had everyone all in an uproar and mad at ME! Well he is dead wrong, I got the documentation I saved to prove it and I don’t want to hear jack when I get in there tomorrow! But they will damn sure hear from me tomorrow! I did NOT just fall off the short bus, don’t lie & F with me!

Sorry yall, just had to vent!

By Rell

January 13, 2009 4:15 PM | Link to this

@RAQI…awww you went deep with that one

but i still say women are lazy and really only do that silly ish to feel like its more than just sex…i dont invest in emotions they change to much!!

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 4:16 PM | Link to this

Gitem Kimmie! I love when my trusty documentation comes back to bite the slackers in the arse, heh heh

By Stormy

January 13, 2009 4:17 PM | Link to this

Poppa Thanks…I’m glad you were there for her.

Ragi I was thinking the same thing.

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 4:18 PM | Link to this

I was at the pharmacy with my friend Doc once. It’s the one she goes to quite often. She was getting a birthday card for her husband. She paid for it at the pharmacy counter along with some medication. The people in pharmacy knows here pretty well. The cashier knowing that she is a doctor asked ‘dr. XYZ is that all you are getting your husband for his birthday? With all the money that you make?’ Doc with the coldest expression said ‘no I am giving him this and a be- low job. That’s enough.’ Then she burst our laughing and said ‘hell why am I buying this card. A bj is good enough.’ And put the card on the otherside of the counter.

LOL the look on the cashier’s face was priceless. I bet she never make a statement like that again.

By lurker

January 13, 2009 4:18 PM | Link to this

Wow it’s all hugs and love in blog land today. Hmmmm (sigh).

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 4:20 PM | Link to this

LOL Tazzee it’s like damn if you do, damn if you don’t. Do they want or do they not?

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 13, 2009 4:21 PM | Link to this

D*mn Kimmie! LOL Give ‘em hell girl!!!

Raqi You know what oyur friend did sounds like something I’d do..and with a straight face! LOL

By i'm swiss

January 13, 2009 4:22 PM | Link to this

“Wow it’s all hugs and love in blog land today. Hmmmm (sigh).”

F@#K YOU, lurker!!!

Is that better? LOL

;-)

By MELO

January 13, 2009 4:24 PM | Link to this

I will be home really late tday coz i got a boatload of stats to compile,in time for tmrws meet.I dnt have to worry about anything on the home turf,its all taken care of and when i get there,boy,there wil be a delicius meal in the oven,just for me. And when this big check cmes coz of my sweat,we brerak bread tgehter.Thats why im seeing the sunny side of this topic tday! Thats the beauty of having smbody on ur back like that.

By Poppa Grande

January 13, 2009 4:24 PM | Link to this

Kym

Well, we didn’t have enough people to meet quorum so we waited. We just watched Tiffany drop it like its hot to “Ain’t nothing like a Brooklyn Girl”

Rumble stick..hmmm…I don’t think that will pass the verbiage committee. So, it won’t be up for a vote.

It seemed in early discussion ramming rod was gaining steam. It has to be approved by the verbiage committee (I felt it was a little violent sounding), and like I said, we didn’t meet quorum. So, we have no answers today. I guess that I have to go back tomorrow. The things I do….I tell ya.

By Rell

January 13, 2009 4:25 PM | Link to this

@raqi..yep only on the bdays…the older way of doing things…boring

By Raqi

January 13, 2009 4:25 PM | Link to this

Rell more than just sex with a husband or true significant other???

Or are you just wanting woman that you bump into every day to lay out the red carpet for you?

Romance is a part of the relationship sector…no???

My Love is beckoning so I will read you all tomorrow. Happy am I. :-)

Good night.

By lurker

January 13, 2009 4:25 PM | Link to this

Raqi What I am asking is why use that you want from your special woman to try and make other women look bad. When you refer to a woman as a pole smoker in an effort to berate and belittle her, what about your wife if she is doing the favor for you? Should she refrain seeing that you view women in with tasteless disdain that may do this? Why call a woman a rooster lollipop to make her look bad? You are saying the same about your own woman.

I’m not starting anything, bandwagon hopping or anything of the sort but you nailed it. What distinguished your SO/wife from the woman a man daily disrespect if they’re both doing the same thing? A man cannot tell me nor convince me because one is a SO/wife that he can separate the two (SO/wife vs hoe) when both are doing the same act.

By Little Puma

January 13, 2009 4:29 PM | Link to this

Why do men so earnestly desire an act from his woman that he turns around and uses so vulgarly as to belittle and disrespect other women?

As the power of male religious and political institutions grew, so too did the patriarchal form of marriage, in which the women and children were chattels.

The division of women into the domesticated wife – Good Woman – and the rebellious w******* – Bad Girl – came about.

Above we see the w*******-stigma operating at its most blatant, enshrined and even eroticized by serial killers, lawmakers and a gullible, apathetic public.

If you ask me, I’d say this has been going on since The Stone Age. What year are we presently in again?

One of many double standards at it’s best, which gets “us” everytime and it’s apparent, it ain’t going nowhere.

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 4:34 PM | Link to this

PG, wish your wife a happy 96th from me! I hope she’s giving you an empty house tonight! lol

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 4:35 PM | Link to this

*lurker, you may not want to start *”anything, bandwagon hopping or anything of the sort but you nailed it.…well, I’m on that bandwagon because it was one of the most trutful posts today!

By Poppa Grande

January 13, 2009 4:38 PM | Link to this

AR

Will do!

A group of her sisters went to church together Sunday and we, this included the husbands, had brunch afterwards.

I would imagine that she wishes you the same.

By lurker

January 13, 2009 4:39 PM | Link to this

I’m Swiss you don’t even want none of this…trust me. Don’t get beside yourself and bite off more than you can chew now. Imma let your comment slide since it’s late in the day and send a kind retort of “bite me”…I know you’re thinking being “swirled” and exchanging dialog amongst the nubians gives you a hint of fire but please, don’t get it twisted. I nice yesterday.

By MELO

January 13, 2009 4:39 PM | Link to this

She eventually got over it tell her,she is a good girl,*Tazzee!!!

By Leggs

January 13, 2009 4:40 PM | Link to this

*lurker, you may not want to start *”anything, bandwagon hopping or anything of the sort but you nailed it.…well, I’m on that bandwagon because it was one of the most trutful posts today!

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 4:43 PM | Link to this

A group of her sisters went to church together Sunday and we, this included the husbands, had brunch afterwards.

PG Awww….!!!

By i'm swiss

January 13, 2009 4:45 PM | Link to this

It was a joke, lurker — no offense intended. Sorry for the confusion.

By i'm swiss

January 13, 2009 4:52 PM | Link to this

Actually, I just realized after clicking “Post” that you were probably joking, too, lurker. Oh well, that what happens when I try to be funny… ;-)

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

January 13, 2009 4:53 PM | Link to this

ARED I forgot..Happy Founder’s day! I know..I’m late! LOL CPT in full effect!

Swiss I got your joke dude. She said is was all hugs and kisses today…so to be sarcarstic you threw in a F’you! LOL OMG…am I rubbing off on you? I thought I was th eonly sacarcastic SOB on this blog!

By AmazonRed

January 13, 2009 4:55 PM | Link to this

ARED I forgot..Happy Founder’s day! I know..I’m late! LOL CPT in full effect!

LOL Thanks Staceye. I appreciate you even acknowledging it. You rock, girl.

By lurker

January 13, 2009 4:55 PM | Link to this

I’m Swiss naah I’on play like that. You meant it..now ya backstroking. Ain’t playing witcha like that, just won’t you to know that so you don’t forget a second time. Like I said though, I’m good.

By lurker

January 13, 2009 4:56 PM | Link to this

I’m Swiss naah I’on play like that. You meant it..now ya backstroking. Ain’t playing witcha like that, just want you to know that so you don’t forget a second time. Like I said though, I’m good.

By Poppa Grande

January 13, 2009 4:57 PM | Link to this

AR

I actually forgot that today was the 13th.

I think that she will have a happier 96th once she regains feeling on the right side of her face. She just left the dentist where she had two cavities filled.

I go to the same dentist and she loves to use Novocaine. I don’t complain because I’d rather drool all over myself than feel and pain in the mouth.

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 5:02 PM | Link to this

LURKER, why don’t you give it a rest, I swear, watching your attempts to be gangster behind a monitor is way too funny to be taken seriously.

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 5:05 PM | Link to this

and whoever is posting from the same IP address using all caps, you have been asked to refrain from spamming the blog with your posts. I have received complaints about the comments, so your ip has been flagged.

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 5:08 PM | Link to this

This blog is not going to be a dumping ground for grouchy folks, LOL! We can debate but let’s keep it from getting out of hand. Part of the reason why our community has lasted so long is because we try to have a place where we can voice our opinions with a reasonable amount of respect. I like how we can differ in opinions and still be fairly adult about it. There is enough fighting in the world, let’s keep the forum as pleasant as possible. Please & Thank you.

By Wise Diva

January 13, 2009 5:09 PM | Link to this

and if you have any problems, complaints, or concerns feel free to contact Blanca or me (wise.diva@gmail.com).

Have a great evening!