Misadventures in Atlanta

By Michelle

December 17, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All :) Interesting topic.. Men never cease to amaze me ESPECIALLY the ones on this blog.. LOL!

By QC-HAPPY HOLIDAYS

December 17, 2008 8:44 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers I never underestimate nothing when it comes to a Man….Have a great day bloggers ;)

Smooches BK

By RELL - 2022

December 17, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this

Do you agree with the study that men generally overestimate a woman’s interest in them?

YEP…this is why we have suckerism/weenism running high now a days…brothers think that when a chick says hello thats means she interested and i need to apply the full court press to get her…..lol…where the chick is thinking i only speak to him in the halls….

ESPECIALLY the ones on this blog.

that means you learning something…stick around you will get all the game you need for free….

By Michelle

December 17, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

RellYou know I like free but game? On here? LMAO! Thanks for my laugh of the day!!

By Dan

December 17, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

Adaptive biases

Transferrence

Prejudice

Whatever you choose to call it, we each have preconcieved notions of “who” someone is before we get to know them.

For the evolutionary process it was necessary to form these bonds of recognition to identify predator from prey (kept us alive).

That same skillset is applied everyday to thousands of situations, including dating.

“Oh, a light-skinned girl hurt my feelings once, so I don’t like them any more”

[Female] “He has that same look as my ex-boyfriend, girl to another female he a dog.”

Whereas the impetus and even the recognition of certain traits is still relevant, when speaking of a potential mate, I find that “jumping to conclusions” does more harm than good.

PG had it right yesterday: assess, verify, then act/react.

By RELL - 2022

December 17, 2008 9:03 AM | Link to this

@Michelle

but game?

Yes only place you going to get it is from a man….not game in the sense of the way to get over on someone but a mind set that will allow you to successful manage your relationships….its not a slight or an ego boost..but i know what i say to folks and they always say hey you were right or you were kinda on the right path…hey what do you think about this….not even tooting my own horn…but i have war wounds love…and not because i wanted them….so yea you stick around you will get the game for free..laugh all you want…but you still going to take something from the men on this here blog…ONE!

By Tazzee

December 17, 2008 9:06 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Folks!

I’m not sure if I underestimate a man’s willingness to commit. I can just say that no man has exceeded my expectations in that area. Could be that my underestimation shows and they don’t commit because of that - or I have it on point.

I will say this - if I’m interested in a man, I believe what he tells me until he shows me otherwise so I really don’t think there’s any apprehension on my part.

Happy Hump Day!

By Leggs

December 17, 2008 9:12 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone.

Anywho…some men tend to overestimate a woman’s compliment to them, overestimate if asked a general question when stopped in the mall (LOL), overestimate a look when walking down the street, etc. I can go on and on. It is what it is and it will never change!

Yes, I think women underestimate a man’s willingness to commit because some of us can’t get past thinking there’s an ulterior motive. By the time we realize that a connection is being made, the man bolts because we’ve taking too much time nitpicking all possible scenarios (good and bad). For some apprehension is worn like a second skin and it takes a special man willing to take the time to peel it away.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 9:16 AM | Link to this

Happy Hump Day everyone.

I think I definitely undersestimate a man’s willingness to commit. This is Atlanta, where folks have options. Though I would never go as far to say that there are no good men or all men are dogs. I know several men who are happy in relationships and get married here. I just think it takes em longer to get to the point where they are tired of the chase.

I probably have sabotaged myself in the way that I DON’T overthink it. If a guy asks me to hang out, that’s what we’re doing. I don’t think he likes me or wants to date me. And I also am not gonna beg you to want more from me. “Pressure makes diamonds,” and I don’t feel you need to be pressured into decisions. But from speaking to my girlfriends in relatationships, sometimes you gotta lay down the gauntlet.

Reminds me of the ridiculous scene in “Love Jones” when the single girlfriend tells Nia Long “if he trips, you got him.” Possibly the worst advice ever. I’m gonna be just as calm as Lorenz Tate was, but I realize some folks need that silly validation to know if you are feeling em.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this

Morning. Imma try to hang with yall today. I am sooo freakin queasy this morning. I left my breakfast splattered back on the corner of Mt. Vernon and Chamblee Dunwoody Road. (I know TMI) I hope I am not catching the flu again. I am sipping on some tea right now.

Now on the topic. Yes to both. I tell my oldest quite frequently because he thinks every female being that is not immediately related to him wants to ride him, that most of the time when that lady is asking for the time she actually really wants to know the time on your watch and not “what time it is” with you and your hormones.

Additionally I do think we underestimate the man’s willingness and ability (I added that part) to commit. When you hear mostly all day every day that men aren’t interested in settling down, men detest marriage, men don’t want to be tied down you can’t help but to question the sincerity of the man that says he wants to spend the rest of his with you.

I will admit to having my inner doubts at the beginning of the exclusive bonding time with Mason. And after having met more than a few guys whose stated motives were the total opposite of their actions, I had my reasons to be doubtful. At one time I wondered if any man could really be trusted.

I have to say that I was made a believer. And I have met men, platonically, that would tell me that men to desire commitment and long term stable relationships, but you know I still doubted for a long. I will admit that I know I ran away some possible good ones in my days of ignorance. A man couldn’t get break during those days.

By LHE

December 17, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

I know I tend to assume men aren’t just falling all over themselves to commit. But then again, I’m generally right about it. I think I’ve only have one guy commit to me quickly, and that’s probably because he was afraid of being single…

By Sassette aka Kym

December 17, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All, Do you agree with the study that men generally overestimate a woman’s interest in them? YES!!! Do you think this can happen with women too? YEPPERS!!

From what I am seeing on the dating scene these days both sides have a tendancy to ..how can I put this …think their poo don’t stank. So when some guys who think their poo smell like fresh lime in the sunshine meet a woman they think “ohh yeah she wants my doggstyle.” and the same can be said for women..a guy smiles says hello they think “I know this triffling son of a biscuit eater don’t think he can get it.” It shows in the woman’s response back because instead of hello..she gives him the stink eye…and grabs her mace.

Dude she don’t want you she is just saying hello..Girl, as funny as Chris Rock is every dude speaking to you is not offering you some dyck. Sometimes hello is just that.. hello.

By Tazzee

December 17, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

Raqi I hope you feel better. I’m coming down with a cold too. I think my staff gave it to me :(

By Leggs

December 17, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

Hope you feel better soon Raqi!

I made mac n cheese for a friend over the weekend and wouldn’t let her in my house when she told me she had a cold. I cannot get sick right now!

By Sassette aka Kym

December 17, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

Well I am already sick. I had the fever, aches, shakes, and all the last two days, now just down to the snuffy head..and coughing. So whatever it is..its going around.

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

Morning folks .

Most men never commit. Even a cat that appears to always reserves the right to bolt when a chick nutrolls.Then again women dont either. Those old terms dont apply to modern dating. We are all aware that we have options and because of this committment is not an option.

Personally i’m not with a chick through thick and thin. Most of the thick is caused by her. I’m more like a pilot waiting to jettison the luggage when the fuel is low.

Never have anything in your life you can’t walk away from in 15 seconds. Even though it may hurt to do so.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Thanks Tazzee and Leggs.

I am sitting here with my door closed and people are walking by tapping on the door asking if I am okay. LOL

On topic, who is worse off the woman that scrutinizes a man’s every word or the man that jumps at every chick that gives him the time of day?

Over or Under.

By SexyCool

December 17, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

truth…i like the sentiment in the last paragraph in your 1008a…

however, that is a very difficult place to get to and remain at…

we instinctively protect ourselves from painful situations…but if nothing else, the lesson that ‘08 taught me is that…it’s better to climb a mountain of pain and do the work to get over it now than it is to remain in a situation where you die a little bit each day…

By Brad

December 17, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

It seems to me that most women prefer a confident man so I think its better for me to assume that I “could get it.” If that’s not the case then oh well. On to the next. I don’t see how such a study could really prove anything either way.

By SexyCool

December 17, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

btw…i might not necessarily agree with the 15 second time frame as stated…lol…

By abc

December 17, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

People would misinterpret the feelings of the object of their attention due to a focus on themselves rather than that object.

People who are overly focused on themselves won’t attract the attention, affection nor commitment of others.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

Relationships are about giving a little more of yourself to the relationship and individual every day. It’s not about holding back. How can you ever experience together the fullness of what the relationship can bring if you or the other is holding out?

I understand the premise of the statement but “walk away in 15 seconds” means that you have not given yourself over to the relationship. I don’t want a guy who can just walk away that easy from something we are building together. The more time in the harder it is to walk away. That’s the way it should be.

By Dan

December 17, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

@Truth

That “walk away in 15 seconds…” is crap.

1) It keeps a person from ever forming a real connection with anyone else (read: alone);

2) It leads to life of running from everything, everywhere, everyone;

3) If someone really has that aspiration to never connect, never just be, then what is the purpose of that persons life? To cause destruction and move on without any guilt or shame?

That too much like the current Administration, and it’s pathological.

I’d really worry about somebody like that cousin.

By DASvenus

December 17, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

good morning good ppl

its all down here for those of us with a county school job. dont know bout you, but im lookin forward to my two weeks off.

on topic i agree with Dan on this one…. we tend to overcompensate (or the reverse) due to our own personal experiences. i tole a friend last week, ‘my done been broke already.’

my hiatus has little to do with having been hurt than just wanting to focus on self…. which is who i plan on focusing on going into the next relationship. im on hiatus getting practice for the big game so-to-speak.

now i dont venture a guess as to a mans intentions….. stereotypes suck. they lead to assumptions which lead to dissappointment…. eventually. you needs the trouble?

theTruth never have anything in your life you cant walk away from in 60 seconds thats the line outta what movie again?? robert deniro……… uh….. ???? that was the coolest most annoying movie ever! you never found out what was in the briefcase.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

I don’t want a guy who can just walk away that easy from something we are building together. The more time in the harder it is to walk away. That’s the way it should be.

Raqi, so true.

To all the sickies: Get well soon.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Good Morning all..

Get well soon to all the sick bloggers…

I thought that I was headed down the road of sick-dom yesterday. I had chills and my head was stuffy in the sense that my ears just seemed plugged up, but I didn’t have a stuffy nose. So, I attacked it last night Corcidan (sp?)flu, which is cold and flu meds for high blood pressure suffers, was in bed by 8:30 pm and feel brand new this morning.

I, like, Leggs can’t afford to get sick now. Some of my wife’s family is getting into town on Saturday for the Holidays.

On Topic All is true. Humans are perfectly imperfect, but we look for self-preservation. For a female, it seems to be in mate selection. For a male, it is in getting as many of his genes out there to survive (opposite of mate selection). These are just some of the biological processes that underlie the mental and emotional aspects of us all.

Another thing….You tell me that we can send a man to the moon, have people live in space via the space station, we can even transplant hearts, and now apparently faces, BUT no one can make a squeezable bottle of mustard that doesn’t make that nasty looking mustard juice that comes out first. Yeah, right.

By mytwocents

December 17, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

I’m not sure exactly how much men overestimate it, but I think many of us are leery of giving the wrong impression for several reasons. The least of it being pride… don’t want this dude making a production outta reinforcing the idea that we’re just friends… especially when you ain’t tryna get at him like that anyway. Also, it ain’t cute for every man you interact with to feel like you wanna get the business. I know a few women who give this off but never check themselves (the provocative lean ins when speaking, a lil shimmy here, touch of the arm there) but will go off if he pursues. And lastly, to tie in to my previous statement, enough ppl still feel women invite things which are beyond their control, (i.e. assault) due to what has been perceived as flirtatiousness or a provocative outfit, etc. when there’s no acceptable excuse, regardless of how it appears. So it can make us self concious about how we’re being perceived when we’re just being friendly and cordial.

As for the other, more men seem underestimate their own inclination towards commitment than any women I know. They’ll say (insert any phrase that means I don’t wanna be locked down) then demonstrate all the behaviors of one who does. They’ll insist they don’t want a girlfriend but have so many girlfriend requests…

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

Dan what you are creating is the facade of being with someone else at best. A mate could die, change or just not want to be with you. The only constant in life is change. Embrace change and life is great. We’ve been sold on the whole “american family” story and finally have found out its lie.

And you’re not running from anything. You’re plotting your course. Me and a chick can be going gangbusters then she or I will re-evaluate and things will change. Do you have the guts to say the changes that were made are unacceptable to me and therefore I choose to terminate this agreement or do you stay just because you have history? I choose the right to re-negotiate my contract at a moments notice. No guaranteed contracts here. mine are nfl styled, you sign for 3 years but its 3 1-year contracts. LOL

Finally, I noticed something when my sister died and it was reinforced when my mom died. No matter how many people you have around ultimately you leave this world alone. Alones not a bad word. You’re alone right now.

By Sassette aka Kym

December 17, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

Another thing….You tell me that we can send a man to the moon, have people live in space via the space station, we can even transplant hearts, and now apparently faces, BUT no one can make a squeezable bottle of mustard that doesn’t make that nasty looking mustard juice that comes out first. Yeah, right.

Shake before using..it says so right on the bottle.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

Lowe’s had a fire sale last night on trees. I got a 6 footer for $5. I wanted to go bigger, but I’ll take it!

By Le Siren

December 17, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

Truth

Never have anything in your life you can’t walk away from in 15 seconds. Even though it may hurt to do so.

It seems as though, from the majority of your posts, that you have been majorly scorned by some woman (or women) in the past. You portray yourself as a hardened, somewhat cold-hearted man who can take or leave a woman. Seems like a classic defense mechanism to me…

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this

Dan I agree with your 10:30. How can a person remain so cold when interacting on all levels, in personal closeness with a person? And how can the other person allow themselves to connect with a person that handles them with a distant heart and mind. It is easy to notice and feel when the person you are dealing with is detached from you and your surroundings. Who would put up with that for any length of time?

Heck when just dealing with people here at work I can tell when they are somewhere else in thought. And I know they can tell the same about me.

By Leggs

December 17, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this

Thanks for my laugh PoppaG. I’m definitely identifying with that mustard thingy because I say the same with both mustard and ketcup. I squeeze both ends of the ketchup pack before opening. Hate that liquid that comes out first….UUUUGGHHH!!!

By uh uh

December 17, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

Raqi Say it ain’t so. Are you pregnant?

Ladies, do you think that you underestimate a man’s willingness to commit? Is it possible your apprehension shows, thereby becoming a deterrent for guys who want to get to know you better? I guess I don’t understand willingness to commit If you’re willing to commit, then commit. I think stating the woman may be a deterrant creates excuses. If men wanted to commit they would. Point blank. What’s so hard about it? Maybe if the man go ahead and commit the woman will do and be all he need for her to do and be. How can I not feel apprehensive when when you’re stalling/making excuses/eluding/putting me off? If it takes getting there next to never, when do I realize it is what it is? Do I wait until forever to never happen to realize he wasn’t going to commit?

By Sassette aka Kym

December 17, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

Amazon Which Lowe’s I need a tree?

By MELO

December 17, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

I’m more like a pilot waiting to jettison the luggage when the fuel is low If i were single in this day and age,man or woman, i wld take the very same attitude.A woman im dating wld really have to prove to me what benefit i get by marrying her.Unless u desire to create a dynasty,like i do(we got too much real estate and subjects in zulu land that need next-of-kin managers) there wld be no need to marry and have kids.Just enjoy my money and peace.Having a woman means too much accomodation.U got to be really prepared for it and possess a strong mental attitude.

Truth, hw long was ur marriage and did u all decide at the outset that u didnt want kids??

Do you agree with the study that men generally overestimate a woman’s interest in them? on a case by case basis,maybe, but in general,there is no over-estimation:most women desire marriage and kids.On their terms.Thats why u find most college educated females are playing nocturnal golf coz they cant find the guys to conscript to their programs.All men nowadays are labelled dogs.Apparently,they also have figured this thing.Phluck and let go!!

Ladies, do you think that you underestimate a man’s willingness to commit i will answer for them.Thats why they want money upfront these days!There is no under or overestimation.tThey got it.They know,for the most part,the union wont last.So if u dont have it,peace off!! If u cannot spoil me,take me out to dinner,buy me good presents,u cheap so GTFOH,the next sucker will do it.If they did not have it figured like that,they wld have been willing to let a dude take her to Mickidee without getting offended that hes cheap and what not.Afterall i do take myself there,actually prefer wendys,when im on my own.So why are u so special?? We back to yesterday.Whats in it for me?? Its kinda of stalemate,if u talking about the serious dating part,but not really.The ones in this game are those who communicated well and understand each other.Either,he funds her purchases and lifestyle and he gets his dizzle shinned and polished on the regular.No under/overestimation there.Thats Atlanta.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

Kym, it was the one in Camp Creek, but they sold out last night. I got one of the last few.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

Truth

That line from “Heat” is good in theory, but besides material objects, it useless. As it relates to interpersonal relationships, it is the way of cowards.

Yeah, things will change. Always have and always will but you can’t run from the change. You can’t run from yourself. The common denominator in any person’s relationship is that person.

True growth comes from learning and adjusting not just dropping everything.

By Sassette aka Kym

December 17, 2008 11:03 AM | Link to this

Morning Musings….

When Life gives you Lemons..squeeze it in someone’s eye and haul azz.

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it, or hump it. Pee on it and walk away.

If sometimes you feel a bit depressed, useless, down in the dumps..just remember you were once the fastest sperm out of millions.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

Kym

Shake before using..it says so right on the bottle.

That doesn’t always work. I did that, and mustard whiz still came out.

Besides, why should I have to do all of the work? If they are gonna raise the price, they need to offer more.

Good grief, I already did most of the work at the grocery store. I picked the mustard, took it to the cashier, then slid my own card, put in my own PIN number, mashed the button that said “NO CASH BACK”, and the cashier just scanned it (which led to aforementioned card slide) and hand me a receipt.

By Dan

December 17, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

@Truth

I feel you. I too have lost a lot of people close to me, and yes I understand that feeling of being alone.

But cousin, losing someone doesn’t mean that your life ends.

People search for meaning, knowledge, some form of happiness everyday on this Earth, and I’m of the firm belief that it’s found in the interactions that we have.

We leave a legacy, not of money made, art created, even heroic acts, our legacy is in the connections we make with other people.

Whether you want to accept it or not, the very fact that you would try to school me to your line of thinking means you feel the same way.

Sure, we die alone, but we live together with everyone we meet. And there in lies the key to life, Big Homie.

If you didn’t care about anyone or anything you: wouldn’t have your dogs (and taken the time to train them), you wouldn’t have ever come to this site, nor would you expound on life as you see for the rest of us.

Face it, Truth, you can say what you want, but you’re a giver.

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

Raqi quite the opposite. I can love you harder because I don’t have to fear the pain if I lose you. Most folks walk around in a state of fear avoidance. Don’t want to ask the right questions because it can fracture their delicate being. They’re controlled by what they may lose or the pain they may experience. I’m always willing to take one to the jaw so I can get on with the fight.

Dan Life is empty and meaningless until you give it meaning. The same chick you think you can’t live without you did before you met her. It’s just a matter of making a decision. The only difference between a happy person and a sad one is what he attaches meaning too.

Siren alot of you newbies come on with that scorned dude bs. The regs will tell you and I will too thats far from the situation. I’ve been loved my whole life and therefore KNOW what it feels like. Then again I know what it doesn’t feel like also.

By Sassette aka Kym

December 17, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

AmazonR Thanks..aww man. I wanted a live tree.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

NO Mason, Jackie, Barbara, Brenda…I mean uh uh I am not pregnant. I can’t be. I hope I am not. It feels like I could be but I can’t be. Not now. (You are the fifth person to ask me this morning)

sobbing God Master I said Wise Diva or Tazzee, not me. I thought we had an understanding.

Seriously though I really hope not. I kinda hope it is the flu instead.

By SexyCool

December 17, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

logical and thoughtful sentiments aside (and trust, i do understand that logic)…that ‘movie line’ is exactly the ish that some folks need to hear when they are languishing in a perpetually effed up situation that is not going to change…

however…as a permanent addition to your moral code…i would advise against it…

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

Truth

The same chick you think you can’t live without you did before you met her.

Yeah, but things were different then.

I could play basketball years ago without a brace. But that doesn’t mean squat now. Parts of my blasted knees have no cartilage.

You can only live in today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn’t promised.

By DASvenus

December 17, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

True growth comes from learning and adjusting not just dropping everything

thank you poppaG for that and for giving the movie title!

a kneegrow can have everything but if he dont have the balls to stick a thing out… see a thing through…. than my respect for him is as expendable as i am to him.

a ‘good woman’ doesnt stop at just being able to cook, clean and coax … she is the one when things aint going right cause of the economy, a banking error, a failed internet transaction has your back. just being in the position where what you lose is yours to lose does not a man make. a man is one who can ask for help and if he doesnt get still keeps it moving.

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it, or hump it. Pee on it and walk away too fun-ny, Kym…. you channeled theTruth wit that one. LOL

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

Kym, this is only the 2nd Christmas in my home, so I’m trying to do a live tree each year. Lowe’s had a huge selection last year and this year, they were almost sold out when I went during the weekend.

So I was going to go to the Christmas tree farm in Marietta, went to their website last night…closed for the season! Already!

So I had to go by Lowe’s anyway last night and decided to stop by the garden center and saw the fire sale.

Thank you Ghost of Christmas present. LOL

By Le Siren

December 17, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

Truth

I’m not a newbie, far from it in fact. I’ve been reading this blog for over a year now. I just had to change my moniker because someone started posting under my old one. You may have “been loved your whole life”, but you still come off as being bitter and jaded.

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

PG everyone isnt for always. I’ve had great relationships with people that were supposed to teach me something at that point and move on. To try to chain them to me would ruin the lesson. Personnally I’d be more of a coward if I tried to force myself to stay somewhere because I thought thats what YOU wanted. I’ve never looked at anyone as a forever thing. I’m just not wired that way.

By Foots

December 17, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Hey, anyone want to barter with me? I’m looking for a nice treadmill and I’m willing to trade my year old elliptical for it. Still has 4 years left on a 5 year warranty. Thought I’d try this first before selling it.

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Melo we were together 8 years. I decided no kids. Wasn’t in my plans then and still isn’t. I had 8 great years with her but the years since have been bliss. Whatever I’m doing, right or wrong, I’ve enjoyed every day under my own terms. I like this.

By Sassette aka Kym

December 17, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Raqi honey go pee on the stick and get it over with. If you are congrats..if you not congrats..again.

man what is in this tea?

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

Truth how can you love someone from a distance. I have never conceded to that thought process. You sound worst than I was when I was trying to protect my heart from being hurt again. Hurt is something you just can’t avoid. You may disguise it as something else mentally to appease your inner self but it will only build up in you. You run the risk of destroying yourself from the inside out. A lot of our physical ailments are none to stem from stress, worry and pain that we keep bottled up. Man let it go. Take from someone who has a hole in her gut (ulcer).

Lose that I’ll hurt you before you hurt me way of thinking. That stuff can lead to somebody getting seriously hurt physically or something even worse.

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

siren I have no reason to be bitter. I had a picture of what I wanted my life to look like and for the last 20+ years it has looked exactly like that. Even with the current economy, which I have stated has affected me, I can’t complain. Things happen, I make adjustments and move on.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

Truth

everyone isnt for always.

I’ve never once said that they were.

I always said that people come into your life (1) for a reason, (2) for a season, (3) for a lifetime.

Just because someone was in my life for #1 or #2 doesn’t mean that I dropped what I was doing or quit going after my goals.

I always focused on me. I can’t read another person’s mind, nor do I even want to expend the energy.

However, I never settled down before I was ready. I’ve had those thought I was lying but when I told them that I wasn’t settling down, I didn’t. I’ve said time and time again that the Mrs. apparently liked my direction was willing to join the program. As time has gone along, it has become more of a “we” thing.

However, I always have the major goals that I have now. The Mrs. was willng to join the program that I laid out. AS she puts it, she “saw that I had a vision of where I wanted to go and plan to get there.” So apparently, that appealed to her.

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

Raqi this isn’t about pain avoidance. It’s about where I see myself and what i’m willing to do to get there. I don’t want kids therefore marriage isn’t an option. When a woman realizes I’m not changing she does. Her changes cause me to re-evaluate and I move on so she can get what she wants and I can get back to peace of mind.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

…Salutations…

…now picking from the flower…

• Anita Baker is a true soulful singer…i got luv for that chic.

@ Ared - There are 8 odd days ‘til Christmas, and you’re just putting a tree up?! You’ll be taking it down my midnight tonight…lol.

@ Truth reading today’s “” from you is making my eyes sad. Stop it!

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

I respect Truth and Staceye’s stances. It’s consistant. But most importantly, they recognize that relationships aren’t for them. They’re not trying to force their viewpoints on anyone else, it’s just how they are. And they won’t have someone just for the sake of warding off loneliness.

Kudos.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli, I don’t have any children and I live alone. What’s wrong with putting a tree up 8 days out? It will be up til new years. I think that’s sufficent. LOL

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

@ Sassette - What kinda tea?

@ Grand Pappy - what is today’s quote? “Back in your day….lol…

@ mytwo - They’ll say (insert any phrase that means I don’t wanna be locked down) then demonstrate all the behaviors of one who does. They’ll insist they don’t want a girlfriend but have so many girlfriend requests…

ooohhhh…you blasphemy!

By Jamoca

December 17, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

Okay Raqi!

Either your prayer has backfired or that Mirena device is defective. Then again, I forgot that Tazzee did mention that she would ask that her prayers would override yours. …now looking down and feeling around my pelvic area…but reminding myself, something has to go up (there) in order to create the possibility of ANYTHING coming out! Whew!

Tatas then demonstrate all the behaviors of one who does

Now that right there’s ^^^ a lawwdeh mercy (in my best Shaggy voice). LOL

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

Pg I have my goals too and they just don’t and never have included a wife. Thats just not a picture I see. I have some great female friends I’ve known for up to 20 years. I’m free to hang out with them, or not, and don’t have to hear the drama because of what I have in my heart. I’m not monogamous, faithful, or have I ever met a woman that I thought “this is the last woman I’ll sleep with”. I’m not wired like that. If that works for you have at it, I wish you the best but its not my thing. I want to be able to enjoy whatever peaks my interest at any moment.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

Cee

@ Ared - There are 8 odd days ‘til Christmas, and you’re just putting a tree up?! You’ll be taking it down my midnight tonight…lol.

We don’t even have a tree up yet. We will go down to Hampton and cut one on Saturday morning. I’ll visit my parents and then pick up the tree. Two birds with one stone.

Some of my wife’s family will be intown on Saturday night. They got tickets via the Airtran webspecials..but Saturday was the latest that they could come to avoid the blackout dates.

We are more worried about getting the guest room ready for them than a tree. Everyone knows that we don’t have kids.

• I saw the wreath this morning in the decoration box. I guess that we’ll put that up tonight*

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

Truth

I have my goals too and they just don’t and never have included a wife.

That I can respect…but that isn’t what that quote means in general.

You changed its meaning to suit you and that is fine. However, you didn’t lay it out that way. We can only read what is on the screen.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

@PoppaG and Ared - That’s no excuse, or ‘out’. When i was single w/ n kids my ex bought real trees on Black Friday while i was out shopping. We made traditions before the boy. Even when i was in college i had a table top up.

I put our tree up the first w/e in December, now.

By lurker 2,3 or 4

December 17, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

Truth reiterates on a daily his beliefs and everyone tries to understand from his point of view.

Everyone sings the songs of romance and coupledom (is that word) daily and he firmly can’t see the point.

And the saga continues

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

I’m not monogamous, faithful, or have I ever met a woman that I thought “this is the last woman I’ll sleep with”. I’m not wired like that.

Truth - Heck, we all know men who aren’t wired like that, yet they get married anyway. They should at least take the “foresaking all others” part out of the vows. LOL. It’s good to see you recognize this. So many people are reading your words and shaking your head, but self awareness is extremely satisfying. I bet you are happier than most people reading your words. And certainly more drama-free.

If you hadn’t been married before, I’d nominate you for “man of the year.” LOL

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

I told my son he’s old enough and has seen me do the tree enough to get one decorated (in his on flavor)…so next year he will be on his own (w/firends).I told him the faster he gets the tree up the quicker the gifts (wink, wink).

This is his mindset: If we put more than ONE tree up, will there be gifts under each tree? <—- that’s the cart before the horse mind-set i have to deal with.

By Sassette aka Kym

December 17, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

Cee some people buy trees late and keep them up until after the new year..

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

Truth Today is not first time that I felt like a statement you made sounded like that way. But I will take your word for what you say.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

Cee

We’ve go too much to worry about than a tree.

We’ve gotten all the gifts that we are getting.

Even I went shopping and actually bought my wife a pair of boots, and a matching bag instead of just getting a gift card.

AR

FYI- The Buckhead Life Group (Chops, Nava, etc.)is adding 20% to whatever amount that you purchase on a giftcard.

For example: Buy a 25.00 giftcard, they add 20% to it and it becomes 30.00. So, you get a 30.00 card for 25.00. If you spend 100.00, you card is worth 120.00.

I know that you really can’t do much with $30.00 at some of their restaurant so it was just an example.

Times really are hard if they giving away money like that.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

That’s no excuse, or ‘out’. When i was single w/ n kids my ex bought real trees on Black Friday while i was out shopping

Cemeeli So what? That worked for you. We’ll do what works for us. Growing up, dad took us out to get a tree every year. Some times it was 2 weeks before, a couple times it was the night before. I didn’t know there was a deadline. LOL

Christmas doesn’t even enter my existance til after my birthday in early December. LOL

By Jamoca

December 17, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

• made mac n cheese for a friend over the weekend and wouldn’t let her in my house when she told me she had a cold. I cannot get sick right now!*

Leggs that’s understandable…but dang that’s still kinda cold ? LOL

It just reminds me of when I was younger and had a pure bred puppy chow (man, she was gorgeous), that my mother trained TO NEVER STEP FOOT IN THE KITCHEN, to include other areas of the house. She had to take or rather enjoy her meals on the other side of the wall. Poor thing, but again, understandable.

By Dan

December 17, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

@Truth

I respect running your own program.

But I think PG hit it. When you find the chick that’ll ride that ride with you, I think you’ll see it differently.

I’m not saying you’d change course, or even “get married” but a non traditional committment is something I could see you in.

Cat be like 85 tombout “Yeah, that’s my girl right there. Been together for 40 years. I like that chick.”

And wouldn’t be a thang wrong it.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

FYI- The Buckhead Life Group (Chops, Nava, etc.)is adding 20% to whatever amount that you purchase on a giftcard.

PG, thanks. My boss is the one who gave me the two gift cards I had previously, so I suspect that’s what he’s been taking advantage of. They had a 10% bonus all year.

By the way, thanks for posting the example. I wasn’t a math major, but I could have figured it out. ;-)

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

I think one of the reasons men and women both overestimate the interest of the opposite sex is because they have not been told the truth about their relationship practices from enough people. Or better yet they choose to not believe the truth.

Conceit is one of the greatest teller of lies there is.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

I know I must be sick. The talk of shopping is not exciting me right now.

By MELO

December 17, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

what purpose do the tress actually serve??? Oh,their purchase spurs the economy.my parents did not recognize christmas,growing up coz of their church.So xmas has never been my thing.Apart from being off work and enjoying the weather(i luv rain and snow during this period) i dont fcckking care for xmas.Just another ploy to bolster the coffers of those in retail.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this

Raqi

*Conceit is one of the greatest teller of lies there is. *

Kym nailed it when she said that many folks don’t believe that their poo poo stank.

I imagine that it would be tough to have a realistic view of relationships when you start off with that mindset about yourself.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 12:33 PM | Link to this

what purpose do the tress actually serve???

melo, for me tradition mostly. We always had a live tree for Christmas. And I enjoyed my childhood so it brings back happy memories.

Besides, I love having the fragrance in the house.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

AR

Yeah, I found out about it when I saw an ad on TV.

Different group of restaraunts: I got my wife a giftcard to Little Azio and I will put it in her stocking. Yeah, we have those stockings with our name on them. (that includes the dogs).

She works in midtown and goes Little Azio frequently for lunch as I ascertained from the joint account statement. They are also adding 20% to the giftcard amount. Apparently Nickimotos is part of their group as well.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 12:41 PM | Link to this

Melo

The tree has a pagan origin. It was an observance of the winter solstice. It has been adapted to the Christmas season since both are in December. In the past, there have been Popes that condemned the use of trees.

Therefore, it isn’t of religious significance like the Menorah is to Jews.

http://www.religioustolerance.org/xmas_tree.htm

By MELO

December 17, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

because they have not been told the truth about their relationship practices from enough people what do u mean,dont get it??

non traditional committment is something I could see you in Dan&Truth,the failure of marriage as we knew it is the reason why hollywood now has designer marriages. These guys have figured it and they design their own vows,the nature of the union/relationship etc.Thats why i can see the Brangelina union lasting.U got have a lil bit of crazy in u to last the distance with the mindset of todays females:from a man’s view ofcourse.And the women,trust me,are echoing the same sentiment.So who wins??

By Jamoca

December 17, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

Cee some people buy trees late and keep them up until after the new year…AND…We’ve go too much to worry about than a tree.

That’s me right ^^^ there.

I didn’t know there was a deadline. LOL Neither did I. hehehe

Btw, Cee I think I saw that Disney porcelain mini tea set you were speaking of, and it looked like a beginners set for Miss Little Hands I had pictured in my mind. Apparently, we were thinking the same thing.

However, I don’t think the Disney one is real porcelain; I just think it’s part of the product name used purposely for a catchery phrase, hence the actual price for it being cheaper than S/H fees. But it is cute. She’ll have a ball.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

Poppa I have been approached by some men that think they know everything there is to know about every woman and her body. That’s one of the main problems. They don’t know jack. What touches my heart my may turn another woman cold. What starts my engine may stall another woman’s out.

And some people can be total jerks and fail to realize it.

Side note: How in the world do people eat something that smells like the bottom of a garbage can? I went into the break room to get some hot water for some more tea and one of the ladies is heating something in the microwave. I am standing thinking ‘does she not know that smells like rancid cow intestines?’ I don’t know how rotten cow intestines smell but I imagine they smell like what she is about to eat. ew

By MELO

December 17, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

i was reading that link PG and i just kinda saw the light.The bible is nothing but stories passed on from generation to generation and chronicles the lyfe of mystique people.And a million years later,most are puzzled and mystified.And lots of pple have gone on to create ridiculous wealth thru it. on another note:another atlanta pastor in his 70s was busted this past week for phuckling a member of his church.I hope the woman is not married.Some of these church ladies have figured it at long last and they are clearly going after those ill gotten riches by the pastor.Good for them!

By Tazzee

December 17, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this

Jamoca this now looking down and feeling around my pelvic area…but reminding myself, something has to go up (there) in order to create the possibility of ANYTHING coming out! Whew! made me laugh!

Raqi I wanted to ask but I knew someone else would, LOL.

Truth Aren’t you the one that recommended having an ‘all-in’ trigger in relationships? How can one be all-in and able to walk away so quickly? If you weren’t the one that made that recommendation - nevermind.

Cemeeli Hey Lady! Do you have that ‘new’ Mary Mary? I’ve had it for a while but I just recently started listening to it. It’s nice.

Foots 4 years on a 5 year warranty, that elliptical isn’t old, LOL.

Speaking of bartering…I’m trying to get rid of the weight ‘machine’ I got for ‘free’ with my elliptical. All I want in return is a weight bench - oh and you have to haul it away. The charitable orgs didn’t want it.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this

Raqi

I have been approached by some men that think they know everything there is to know about every woman and her body. That’s one of the main problems.

That is a human problem.

There are plenty of “I can change him” chicks out there, too.

They think that they know what makes every guy ticks.

Yeah, there is sex, but if that is all that you got to offer, you really have nothing different than the next chick because she has a vajayjay too.

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

Dan you say “when I meet the right one” as if I haven’t. This is the thing, i’ve met some wonderful women, perfect wives, if thats what you’re looking for. I’m just not gonna be the guy to go the whole 9 yards with you. Doesn’t matter what she is, its what I am. Lets have a good time, eat, drink and be merry but when it comes time for “more” you’re on your own.

My pardners asked why I didn’t scoop up my last gf. She was a real wify type, but thats not what I want in my life. I’m free to enjoy what the fugg ever I want to and this is the greatest bliss I have found.

Whats really mindblowing is that you lobby so much for something you’ve never actually known. You’ve never “done it” yet its the promiseland for you. I’ve done it and let me tell you today is the best day of my life. I have in front of me opportunity, adventure, and the energy and freedom to pursue it. I can say with all sincerity that my life has been blissful. I go to bed every night and sleep well because I go after only the things I deem as worthy, not what society told me was worthy.

By Foots

December 17, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

Dan But I think PG hit it. When you find the chick that’ll ride that ride with you, I think you’ll see it differently.

But Truth’s MO is that he is not monogamous, not faithful, not committed, and he will leave her in 15 seconds flat if she fails to please him. No matter if he provides total financial support for the household as he says he would, no woman wants to live with that lack of emotional security.

In Poppa’s case, he was ready for a relationship, so he was offering emotional security to his woman, and he had developed the vision it takes to be the head of somebody’s household. Very different circumstances.

Truth will continue to attract women who believe they can change him, they will figure out in about two to three years that they can’t, they will leave, and the cycle will begin all over again. This seems to work for him.

He’s bent on not changing for anybody, and least of all, for a woman. And he’s happy with it. So I agree with Amazon: Truth and Staceye are on their own path, they believe in what they are saying and they don’t hide their beliefs from anyone who chooses to be in their lives.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

melo I mean you can tell a person what they did ruin every relationship they have ever attempted and they still choose to believe it’s the other person(s) fault.

When all of relationships are going sour for the same reason, it must be you.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

I did not intend for folks to get their britches in a wad about when to put or not to put up a tree…lol…gotta luv it!

@ ARed - Sounds like you doing you. cool, mami.

Hey Tazzee! Mary Mary is downloaded on my notebook. I don’t have the CD yet. Maybe i should put on my wish list.

PoppaG - Cool…as long as you got gifts and your intention to get the tree for the family to enjoy, cool.

Jamoca - Okay, i’ve gotten a hands up on that tea set. Yes is a 12 piece disney set and lil neicie will love auntie for it with her Faries sweatsuit to match. girl stuff is cute

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 1:14 PM | Link to this

oh Moca and Ared are celebrating Christmas for New Years…can i join?

By Angie

December 17, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

it’s such a pretty day outside.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

@ Tazzee - I don’t believe YOU (workout madam) are bartering gym equipment.

By Tazzee

December 17, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli I’ve had that thing for 4 years and I really don’t use it. I really want a regular old weight bench - I prefer my dumbbells over that machine.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this

While we have relationship basics we also have individual preferences, concerns and desires. What some fail to realize though the basics are applied to all it doesn’t cover all there is make an individual relationship work.

Getting on the field is one thing. Knowing the plays and being able to carry them out is something else.

A lot of guys can get the girl(s) but don’t know jackshyt about how to keep her. Those types all attribute the cause to being women are all crazy. Nah dude it just ain’t the way you keep trying to bring it.

By MELO

December 17, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

Doesn’t matter what she is, its what I am and i bet all the chics u meet are trying hard to change u.

really mindblowing is that you lobby so much for something you’ve never actually known wait until he gets cleaned out,then he will wise up. Peronally, i am never in any illusion.If i go down,smebody is going down with me!! LOL

By mytwocents

December 17, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

Raqi I see others have now voiced what I refused to earlier. If this is the case I’m now relieved to find that substance on those towels the other week was just lotion lololol

Mirena You betta hush fo’ you feel a ‘friendly’ lil bump in the night and find sumthin workin it’s way up the canal. Even tho you say them levees reinforced, I can’t say fa sho… Be hollerin Lawdammercy for a whole nutha reason…

Cee You so far gone on that Chrimmus narcotic, ain’t no help. Errybody’s marketing thanks you.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

Tazzee not you too? LOL

By mytwocents

December 17, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

Raqi I see others have now voiced what I refused to earlier. If this is the case I’m now relieved to find that substance on those towels the other week was just lotion lololol

Mirena You betta hush fo’ you feel a ‘friendly’ lil bump in the night and find sumthin workin it’s way up the canal. Even tho you say them levees reinforced, I can’t say fa sho… Be hollerin Lawdammercy for a whole nutha reason…

Cee You so far gone on that Chrimmus narcotic, ain’t no help. Errybody’s marketing thanks you.

By JtJ

December 17, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

Hey Bloggers,

Wishing a quick recovery to all those who are sick or are catching somethin’.

*Off Topic: Anyone have details on Ralph Tresvant being at Hairston’s on Friday? * I want to suprise my man and take him since Ralph is his favorite from New Edition. (I finally can get a break from studying and I want to do something nice for him. I have been one cranky *bia-biah *).

By Dan

December 17, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

@Truth

I’m not lobbying for nothing, least of all marriage. And make no mistakes, though I’ve not been married I’ve witness enough of them in my lifetime to know what it is and what it ain’t.

I feel you on the whole “lone wolf” angle, bruh. My thing is, in everyone of our lives there are moments when you absolutely need another person, and I’m sure you know that.

I’m not advocating for the institution of marriage or any other institution, I am as sceptical as anyone about it. What I’m talking about is the dichotomy of your statment.

From marriage, to gf’s, to the homeboy’s you’ve invited people into your life at various points. The whole “walk away mantra” would dictate that none of them had any effect on you. And that, I find hard to believe.

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

Actually you all beieve like I do because though you’re saying you want a forever you’re not capable of generating that situation. The reason is your not internally programmed to do so so you have to manufacture it. As most are finding out its not easy to do. The real wammy will occur after you get married and you wake up and see that the best days of your life were when you were solo, and you’ll then do everything possible to get back to that state.

What I’m saying is I’m extremely happy today. Could I be happier if I had 6 kids running around calling me daddy? Anything is possibly, but would you want to risk your family on that slight chance? I wouldn’t.

Tazz what i’m saying is if I met you today I could love you wholeheartedly because I don’t have to write anything into the script. You’re wonderful, we’re enjoying ourselves and all is well. When you start talking about marriage you put me in a position where only one of us can be happy. As you know I always opt for my happiness so no marriage. I am just not happy coming home to the same woman everyday for the rest of my life. Thats not a part of my dream. So I can go “all in” til I run out of chips. LOL

foots you’re right. My relationships usually last 2-3 years then the curtains are pulled back. Thing is if she would have listened I’ve been saying the same thing the whole time. LOL

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

@ Tazzee - Try and use those freaky weight balls. The trainer said that he used them before moving over to dumbells when he started (long ago) strength training…I kinda like them.

Yea, i’ve tried to explain to him that since he’s a former Tech football player, that what he equates as a good begginers start, may be advance for me=women…:).

By MELO

December 17, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

When all of relationships are going sour for the same reason, it must be you NOPE

we back to that power play again.Somebody has to be in charge in a relationship.We cant all be leaders.The moment the woman tries to take the leading role,there is breakdown.Why dont u get it Raqi?? And a lot of these dudes are on the sidelines becoz they know u and ur kin want to run the plantation.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

Dan

What works for me, won’t necessarily work for another man.

For me, I could not stand to have a wife that did not have a life of her own.

I guess like Prince Akeem ( our obligatory monthly reference to “Coming to America”) and not want a “whatever you like” kind of chick, meanwhile the next dude may want that kind of wife.

There are those that aren’t cut out for marriage period. If Truth is one of those, and he knows it, then good for him.

By M'Karyl

December 17, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

Mixed signals…lol…the ATL was such a different scene with the gender interaction mode…it seemed less about sending mixed signals than it did about another person just trying to attach his agenda to my single status…even when I blatantly stated the exact intentions of my interaction…perceived communication vs articulated communication…shyte the stories I could tell…some ppl are just plain blodddy lonely and they will read any civil and nondisrespectful interaction as a personal attraction mode.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this

My office husband, or whatever Blanca referred to them as, just brought me some saltines and a ginger ale. If he wasn’t already engaged I would have him hit one of you ladies up. That’s if some of you are into younger men. He is only 28. And you would have to fight off some of these cougarmonsters around here to get to him. He is very handsome, smells good everyday and dresses really nice.

LOL look at me advertising a taken man. He would kill me if he knew.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this

@ Melo - Yep. If i cain’t bring Crimmus cheer in this mugg without folks getting straightfaced :! then, oh well.

When you talk about The Booty Parts, is there a stigma?

Have you gotten your Queen’s and lil zulus, gift?

By Angie

December 17, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

What happens when mixed signals come up?

this is why i don’t want male friends. i would love to have a guy friend if he FULLY understood that we’re just friends AND THAT’S IT. but they manage to screw it up every single time.

ty at work is pushing it right now. i haven’t given him any signals that it’s more than friends. having a guy friend is really not that important. but if it happens … that’s cool wit me.

off topic i met a man in the grocery store last night. he has been married for 65 yrs. we talked for 30 mins. in the cereal isle. it was like i was in class. lol. very sweet and loving man. she’s a lucky lady.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

@ mytwo…i’m so okay with that. How u?

By DASvenus

December 17, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this

melo someone introduced xmas to christians and now the bible is all wrong?? there are some christians who dont do holidays….. bec all of them are steeped in pagan rituals. dont blame the bible for mens traditions.

Dan even when you reach it (your promise land) it will still prove to be all that you imagine today that it could be. but it will take a lot more work than just believing it exists.

theTruth can honestly say that marriage isnt for him because he’s been married….. and according to him, he likes everything marriage has to offer, but knows that he can get it without making the commitment.

some women are wired for that sort of thing…. maybe he and Eye oughta have at it! LOL

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

Melo

When all of relationships are going sour for the same reason, it must be you NOPE

Raqi is correct.

In all of my relationships, I was there. I was the common denominator. The women changed but I didn’t. So, if the same thing kept happening it was on me.

By RELL - 2022

December 17, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this

**I’m free to enjoy what the fugg ever I want to and this is the greatest bliss I have found.

Whats really mindblowing is that you lobby so much for something you’ve never actually known. You’ve never “done it” yet its the promiseland for you. I’ve done it and let me tell you today is the best day of my life. I have in front of me opportunity, adventure, and the energy and freedom to pursue it. I can say with all sincerity that my life has been blissful. I go to bed every night and sleep well because I go after only the things I deem as worthy, not what society told me was worthy.**

i envy you brah…..thats the realist sh.it EVER!!!!!!!….

By Jamoca

December 17, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this

Tazzee I know you’re over there lifting holy hands to Jehovah Jireh right about now. LOL …like Kym already put it out there, congrats to Mrs. Aufton, either way. :-)

catchery??? …looka here, looka here…meant “catchier” (I believe that’s a word). Man, I know some folks in here can tell I did not have my fix last night nor this morning. smh

I did not intend for folks to get their britches in a wad about when to put or not to put up a tree…lol…gotta luv it!

Achem…Mit’Lady, the replies were simply in response to you thinking folks should put their trees up on Cee’s time …instead of their own. Justa rockin’ and swayin’ to our own beats, missy. Doing us as you would simply, do you…that was all.

celebrating Christmas for New Years…can i join?

awww look at her…and what did I tell you about flocking with them birds, gal? But I’mma tell ya’ right now…we ain’t servin’ any non alcoholic beverages, Kahlua or candy… Grown folks only! School gals belong in the yard. hahahaaa! now waiting for the back-peddaling to begin.

Tatas Even tho you say them levees reinforced, I can’t say fa sho… Be hollerin Lawdammercy for a whole nutha reason…

Hahahahahaaaaa! Gal, shut cho’ mouth before I tell Citey Bowaay he was debo-ed for the 6pk of Coronas! LOL

ain’t no help NONE! Picasso loves to paint a pretty picture tho’ don’t she ?…hahahaaa!

By Foots

December 17, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this

Dan My thing is, in everyone of our lives there are moments when you absolutely need another person

I agree with the concept of needing someone, but you know that you’re going to bring For Real out of lurksville with that statement, talking about we don’t need nothing except food, air, water and shelter. LOL!!

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 1:45 PM | Link to this

melo it has nothing to do with any one being the leader. That my way or else crap is just that…crap. Do you know the meaning of insanity? When the outcome never changes you need to change and stop always making it out to be the other person’s fault.

Your idea of the man being the head is severely warped my brother. It doesn’t mean the woman has to bow to your demands and dictations. It means someone had to guide the pack not dominate it.

Woman was not given to man to be dominated. She was given as a help. And when more men learn to treat us properly more of us will be willing to help. But to try and dominate, dude all you gonna get it left alone. Over and over again.

And you gonna say “it was her fault”.

By MELO

December 17, 2008 1:45 PM | Link to this

In all of my relationships, I was there hw about in hers/theirs,what was hapenning? If she hasnt met a dude she wants to marry by 30,35,40 yrs of age, u telling me its every dude’s problem? From 19 yrs of age,these chics are already angling for a long term boyfriend/husband,unlike us guys.The only thing holding them for most of them is they want to get their careers right.The guy may be right there and has suggested they do the do,but she holds out coz she knows,thats a bargaining tool.If her leverage aint right,she goes down.Other wise how can one fail to snatch a partner from 19 yrs till u greying at 45 etc.Most of these chics on the blog are like that. U dissappointing me there partner…

By Angie

December 17, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this

poppa would you take your bad habits from one job to the next?

By Tazzee

December 17, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

Truth I’m not talking about marriage - just being able to walk away so easily. I get what you’re saying, but I personally feel that if you can walk away that easy - you’re not all-in. But that’s just my definition of it.

Cemeeli are you talking about kettlebells? I’ve heard those were great - I’m planning to get some as soon as I get my own place here and get my workout room set up.

Raqi My current man of interest is 31…I’m trying something new with the youngins, LOL.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this

Angie

poppa would you take your bad habits from one job to the next?

I know that I have. I’m a man, not a God.

All I meant was, if I kept picking the same kind chick, and kept getting the same result, why would it be on the chick?

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 1:55 PM | Link to this

@ Tazzee okay. Yup, those kettle balls. They freaky looking to me.

…senile i am agian…

@ Jamoca - a’uight maam.

@ mytwo - it don’t take much to Cee does it?

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 1:56 PM | Link to this

melo it is no different in a woman’s case. If all of her relationship are failing for the same reasons it is obviously something she is doing wrong. You are missing the “same reason” failure rate that I am talking about. Had I been addressing this to woman I would have said the same thing but used she instead of he.

Dude I know. I am guilty. I admitted earlier to being the reason for some of the relationships that could have been not happening. I learned and am learning from my mistakes. That’s the only way to advance forward.

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

Dan under my program I have more long term relationships than I care to count. I still stay in touch with my buddies from the army. Thing is they or I are free to terminate at any time. Thats the beauty. You’re only with people that choose to be with you and vice versa, not just because they’re “family”. My sister has a daughter that if she died today I wouldn’t go to her funeral. She’s a piece of shyt “to me” and just because we may share blood we aint family. It’s just a decision that has to be made.

Thing is as soon as you start accepting things into your life that don’t fit the whole program goes haywire. Like a football coach knows, he may like you as a person but you’re hurting the team. LOL

You see it in so many of the chicks you meet that are burnt up because they let ol boy in because it was better than being alone. After a few of those ol girl is toast.

Also, one of the blog chicks knows one of my boys. We kicked it big willy style for 17 years and then at some point we mutually agreed to move on. No anger, we had just run our course. We had a ball though and I haven’t looked back. You always have to be willing to close a chapter to open another.

Tazz I’m not saying its easy but a decision must be made. I’m alot of things that rhyme with pit but I’m not afraid to make a decision. May not be the one you want but I’ll make it. What I do is take my emotions out of the picture and look at it from that point of view. I have NEVER made a bad decision using that system. Take your feelings out and see how that works.

Also, for those trying to barter try ebay. There’s someone somewhere that wants what you have. You just have to find them. Make sure you cover shipping costs.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this

Tazzee girl you gone hurt yourself. LOL j/k

My friend Lacy who is 38 was dating this 26 year old once. She said he was fun and all but the generation mindset gap was to far apart when it came to the important stuff.

But do your thing girly.

By MELO

December 17, 2008 2:01 PM | Link to this

Raqi,the verb i used is lead, u replaced it with dominate.Im not surprised tho, i live with a woman.When the argument is not winnaeble by her,she twists it and starts talking about the last argument we had.LOL I have observed, u and foots are good at this.

it has nothing to do with any one being the leader u wont say this in front of Mase, i know this becoz if i wanted to go archive on MIA, u have said the exact same thing about smebody being a leader in their camp.Si im not gonna waste much ink.Come correct and apologize to me on this coz ur younger juveniles follow ur lead……

someone introduced xmas to christians and now the bible is all wrong?? there are some christians who dont do holidays u know some verse are in there coz some people actually lost their lives trying to get their wrd in there.Where they the devils child? The bible is about pple stories told from generations to generations.I dont get the mystique.As for diff christians doing doing diffrent things,why?? That shld tell u everybody has their own agenda.

Have you gotten your Queen’s and lil zulus, gift i got my kids(grls) the music player thing,whats its called??My 3 yr old, im getting him a car to ride.Nothing for queen,she acted real biatch last satrday at my xmas party.If she hadnt acted fast and kept quiet as we walked to the car, i wld have done a Bishop Weeks on her.I dont knw what she got me(i think a phone) but i dont care!!

By Wise Diva

December 17, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

umm the kettleballs are evil and trainers who make you work out with them are Satan’s spawn. That is all I have to say about that, LOL

By Dan

December 17, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

@Das

Like Truth, I’m in my promised land right now.

And that just happens to be wherever I am, however I am, and whatever frame of mind that I am in. I’m good with it - always.

That does not alleviate the frustration or anger that I don’t have all that I want. What my happiness is based on is me and my belief system.

Yet, unlike Truth, I do think there exists a time when I could be happy with someone else. Again, not that frustration won’t set in, but I know that I can find an equilibrium for me in any situation - becuase I’ve had to do it.

I’ve never said I don’t feel where my boy is coming from, I do. And I understand where he is, because I’m there too. Where we differ is the allowance for something else and likely, our reactions to it. It’s what makes us individuals.

By Angie

December 17, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

poppa and all i meant was why keep doing it over and over. was it your age? you didn’t care cause they weren’t wifey material? why waste time if you weren’t going to put in the effort? they did their thang by stepping into the role of girlfriend. why think that what you did in your failed relationship will work in the next?

disclaimer - i’m asking general questions. not aimed at you.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this

Truth, you have YOU all figured out. I tickles me when folks try to tell you otherwise, just because it doesn’t fit the program. LOL

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this

@ Melo Not care? You need a new phone, too?,…. Dude what is the “Bishop Weeks”? So you are done buying? Nice to see dads taking care of their kiddies gifts.

@ Jamoca - No harm, no foul. All joy over here, sis.

By DreamsMaterialize

December 17, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this

Truth You ever read any Octavia Butler books? Your mantra on the concept of change sounds like philosophy of a character from some of her books. Character in the book ended up having an international following and changing the world, even though it wasn’t initially the intent. Man you might be getting some converts daily. lol

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

@ WiseDiva - Thank you! Please forward that msg to the workout-geeks of the world.

By DASvenus

December 17, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

blog sistas for those that have teen/pre-teens wit phones, are you cool wit your child texting you using the slang text grammer?? first i can barely understand and second shouldnt that be reserved for your homies not the queen that gave you life??

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

melo you said “we back to that power play again”

You don’t have to check the archives because I will say again, I do live by the man being the head of the house. But it has nothing to do with who has the power. We both have the power.

From that statement you made you are suggesting that a man could have all of his relationships fail because all of the women he has encountered doesn’t want to allow him to “lead”. There is still something wrong there. He is either choosing the wrong type of women (his bad) over and over again and trying to make them followers or he is failing to lead properly. Also his bad.

There is a natural order of things that works out correctly when played out properly.

Now I am sick. I’ll be back.

By Jamoca

December 17, 2008 2:16 PM | Link to this

@ Jamoca - No harm, no foul. All joy over here, sis.

Cee Likewise, and as it should be…Yes, indeed.

By Tazzee

December 17, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

Truth with that said - I must say I agree with you. I’ve had to walk away from folks that I loved dearly in a manner of seconds. It wasn’t easy at all, but when the ‘dealbreaker’ happened, I walked away.

By MELO

December 17, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this

I do live by the man being the head of the house. But it has nothing to do with who has the power this can only make deceptive sense to a woman,not a man. My CEO is the head of our corporation but him and i both have power. Go sell that on the internets!!!!!!!

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

@ DasV - Ah, is your chile able to text/us phone at lunchtime? If so, then it’s probably the only short time he has to get a msg to you.

You know i’m partial…

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

Cee

• Thank you! Please forward that msg to the workout-geeks of the world.*

There is nothing wrong with them or the us workout warriors of the world.

The only thing that I really hate about this time of year is knowing that in a couple of weeks the gym is gonna be so crowded (new years folks) that the regulars will start getting up early and beating the rush. I am rooting for the new folks to turn over a new leaf and all, but don’t just sit on the equipment. I’ve got my routine down and they messin’ with the rotation…”puff, puff, pass”

On another note: My wife has been giving me the evil eye since I brought home some lowfat eggnog the other night. I never said that she had to drink it.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this

What’s funny is that elderly that had great loves for years and years feel the same way as Truth when it’s all said in done. They find a nother old person, and enjoy each other with no pressure and no risk of kids. lol

Truth, it’s you and me when I’m 60. You’ll be in your 70s so you’ll still think it’s an upgrade. LOL

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this

Cee

*Dude what is the “Bishop Weeks”? *

What happened to Juanita Bynum in that College Park Hotel parking lot/deck? Answer that and you will know what the “Bishop Weeks” entails.

By Leggs

December 17, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this

Damn it, damn it, damn it. Just came back from ofc luncheon and my last post was eaten. Thought I’d come back to some hysterics and head scratching. No sense in posting it again, time has passed.

Jamoca, cold it is, but I have no one to take care of me if I got sick. My child might burn the house down trying to feed us and take care of me!

By MELO

December 17, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this

DASvenus u didnt ask me,but i wld ask if the kid speaks proper english gramma??What better way to examplify that than by speaking properly when talking to u.U corrupt by allowing,neglecting or abetting.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

WiseDiva there is a slight possibility that I could have received a package that was meant for you. Since I don’t believe in opening other people’s packages Imma gone head and wish this one over to you. You got someone in mind you want to share it with? If so you need to give him a call and tell him to make it happen.

I wish my brother was down here. He is gorgeous, successful and he owes me a favor.

Don’t skimp on your calling girly.

Mason is sick now. Maybe it is something we had for dinner last night. Have any of yall tried Figo’s?

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

PoppaG…Lol - puff puff pass…You may need to make a new program come the New Year. If you work out at lunch, you might need to change it to 5 or 6 in the morning to beat the crowd.

There is nothing wrong with them or the us workout warriors of the world.

Why did it knock my shoulder out of place before? I’m better on them now..but when i started i made ppl move out the way.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this

Leggs

My child might burn the house down trying to feed us and take care of me!

That is why God saw fit that we have Boars Head cold cuts and microwavable soup that are available at your local Publix.

And

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 17, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

Afternoon All! okay I thoughy I had gotten off pretty easy shopping for Lil Mo, then he had to pull a name at school so I have another gift to buy. Anyone know what 3yr old girls like?? Seriously….

I wont even post on topic cause it looks like you guys got that down pack.

Cemeeli why did this co-worker bring in some Chicago style popcorn and I am HOOKED!!! This is some good ish!!! Goes great with a pepsi!!

DreamsMaterialize I didnt forget about you man, promise to get back atcha

RELL remember my girl’s sit-chee-ashun?? Got an update and I am soooo not liking it….SIGH

ARed you were killing me with the tree thing, but I am like you. As long as its up before Christmas and down before New Year’s I dont care!! :0)

By Angie

December 17, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

venus i turned off text on both of my son’s phones. the lil one was texting WWE too much and the older one had some hot lil mama textin’ him late at night. the phones were meant to call mom and dad. period.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

Cee

If you work out at lunch, you might need to change it to 5 or 6 in the morning to beat the crowd.

That is what many regulars do at the beginning of each new year. I get up around 4:30 am and get to gym by its opening at 5 am. I am back home and done with my workout by 7:15 am.

That routine usually gones on until Valentine’s Day (most people fall off the wagon by then).

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

The only thing that I really hate about this time of year

Poppa but it only last about 4-6 weeks don’t it. LOL Workout/Get in Shape new year resolutions are the most and quickest to be forgotten.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

@ Mo - Hey. Is it by Dale & Thomas popcorn? I know you not munchin’ on that white cheddar and black peppercorn, butter toffee, white chocolate, kettle corn &….oh, sorry. I’m a popcorn buff…there’s a Ga. Peach flavor too.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this

As long as its up before Christmas and down before New Year’s I dont care!! :0)

Mo - Amen! LOL

By DASvenus

December 17, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

excellent Dan kudos for you enjoying the moment, while still pushing the envelope. you and theTruth both are unique… i love your deathless individuality better though! :)

CEEcee LOL… yea you are partial to dem kids. what about my time…. it took me 15mins to figure out what him was sayin! LOL i love that he can pass me a note while at school though :)

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 17, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli gurl um kno where dis came frum but it is so good (said while munching)! The flavors I have are white & reg cheddar (shout out to PG for the cheesidue), white and reg caramel, cinnamon, cotton candy. Now I need to check out that Dale & Thomas you talkin bout!! Sounds great too! I’ll find out who this popcorn is by…one sec

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 2:47 PM | Link to this

Ared whats amazing is how hard someone will fight for a belief that wasn’t even theirs. If you can look in your soul and see a husband/wife then by all means puruse that with the force of the gods. However, if you choose it only because others before you chose it then somethings wrong. What I want and have done with my life is to personalize it to bring me the things I want in life. May not be what you want but thats ok too.

Question everything and come up with answers that align with your true beliefs.

Lmao at the upgrade. Hope you don’t mind wipng up my slobber.

Dreams I need some more good reading. Is it a good book? Btw, from now on i’m blogging with my old bath towel on my head turbine style.

Off topic: I started running a little and am starting to get that runners high. I felt like I could do ten miles, but lets not get ahead of ourselves. The big thing is I bought some good running shoes and my knee isn’t hurting.

By uh oh

December 17, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

Raqi take the test

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

Lmao at the upgrade. Hope you don’t mind wipng up my slobber.

Truth, that will not be condusive to my happiness. I will walk away from you in 15 seconds. So we’ll pay someone to do that. LOL

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

@ DasV - From what lil shorty told me from around the way. That lil text/note you get from a teenage boy may be the only connection/endearment you’ll have from him these comming years. So go ahead and invest in a texting lingo dictionary.

Sis, i have been COACHED!

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this

One of our clients just brought the best coconut cake that I’ve ever had in my life. That thing may make me slap my momma and kick her in the shin!…. j/p

Seriously, that cake didn’t stand a chance. Its has been here 10 minutes and it is almost gone. It was a huge cake.

The fact that I am even talking about coconut cake is a momentous occasion because I normally HATE coconut will all of my being & might. I decided to try this one after another coconut hater liked it.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 2:56 PM | Link to this

Truth I used to run quite a bit in the mornings to get myself pumped for the day ahead before my sons got up. I hadn’t run in 10 years. I woke one morning back in October and decided I’ll go out and pound the pavement. Man when I say my legs were on fire when I got back I am not joking. I forgot the feel of that burn and I don’t miss it. It was refreshing getting out in the early morning air yet it was painful for the rest of the day.

By DreamsMaterialize

December 17, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

Truth Great read. The first book is called “Parable of the Sower”, and the sequel is called “Parable of the Talents”. check em out. See even Ared said she would get down in another 30 years, and she doesn’t seem to be one who just buys into anything. lol

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

AR

Truth must really like you. At least, he didn’t ask you to wipe something else when he gets 70.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

yea you are partial to dem kids.

@ DasV - Trick love the kids.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

WiseDiva there is a slight possibility that I could have received a package that was meant for you. Since I don’t believe in opening other people’s packages Imma gone head and wish this one over to you.

LMAO. Raqi, all that talk of your husband’s soldiers….the calvary strengthened and took down that fortress.

Hope it’s just the a passing illness tho.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 3:01 PM | Link to this

I normally HATE coconut will all of my being & might

PG, I feel the same way, so that must have been some good azz cake. Did someone make it or is there a bakery I can look up?

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

uh oh No.

uh oh my friend Brenda is an oncologist and she says she has seen times when patience that had lived pretty much “healthy” with cancer for years and not knowing suddenly take a rapid turn for the worst after finding out. They would come to her after getting something as simple as a blood lab back that prompted their doc to send them to her. She says the knowledge of the knowing seems to sometimes speed the cancer growth for some reason. Many because they began to worry along with being physically ill.

Maybe if I don’t know I’ll wake up in the morning and this little virus I have will be gone.

LOL That’s some wishful thinking ain’t it? And since Mason is sick now too it’s probably just something we ate. We’ll go home and sleep it off.

By Angie

December 17, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

raqi oh no! i’ll keep my fingers crossed for ya.

if i wouldn’t have gotten my tubes tied, i would have at least two more babies. not good.

bless you chile either way.

By DASvenus

December 17, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

melo he speaks proper grammer wit me… just when it comes to texting i think Cee might have it right… that he is havin to get off a quick note. cell phones are banned in school you know?

angie i hear ya! ive come close to cuttin it off. it works wonders when the grades start slipping. plus for times like these i like that i can text him and vice versa. any overage comes out his allowance.

CeeCee you right as usual…. it might be the only ‘connect’ i have wit him cause he at that age…. but still he need to come correct when addressing ‘the queen’ of the house. he aint allowed to ‘wassup’ me either when i come through the door.

By MELO

December 17, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this

if i wouldn’t have gotten my tubes tied, i would have at least two more babies ever since u left the hubby…ohhh boy!(jazze phe style!!)

so,Raw it is???

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this

if i wouldn’t have gotten my tubes tied, i would have at least two more babies.

:-/ Good grief.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this

AR

I looked for my own purposes, because the wife actually loves coconut. One of the numerous areas in which we are opposites

It was from a client and they put the sticker advertising their name on the cake box. Someone tried to peel it, and with it went was underneath.

It is good cake, but it is still coconut. So, I ain’t gonna lose sleep over it. If I talk to them, I’ll ask about it, though.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this

Amazon TMI as usual with me, after we decided not to use condoms any more he made a joke about his swimmers being potent and asked me was I sure about the decision we were making. Be careful what you ask for sometimes.

March on soldiers, march on. Just don’t find a resting place.

But yeah it’s probably just a virus of some sort.

By Foots

December 17, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this

melo My CEO is the head of our corporation but him and i both have power.

Do you not realize that your CEO may be head of your corporation, but his CFO, his COO, his CMO, his CTO all have power to make decisions also? He has support staff (helpmeets) to help him make decisions and to help him see things from a more specialized point of view (finance, marketing, technology, operations). But because it is his final say doesn’t mean that he’s not taking their decisions to heart and mind. He may go with theirs, or he may go with his own, possibly to his own detriment if he doesn’t fully understand the issues at hand.

What makes the CEO’s position special is that he does have the final say when there’s space for only one signature, and even that is subject to the shareholders. But if the ship starts to sink, it’s on him.

You will never have all the power in everything. Even if you think you do, you will still answer to someone else. As you said before, your decisions have to be made for the well-being of your wife and kids. She’s your COO, the kids are your shareholders.

That’s how a man can be the leader of the household, but both the man and the woman share decision making responsibilities. I know things get lost in translation for you, but I hope this breaks it down for you, since you used the CEO reference.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

Patience instead of patients, one of my many, many blog typing errors.

By Jamoca

December 17, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

Leggs LOL! Come to think of it, my mom had me lighting the smoker by myself at 9 or 10 yrs old and using it unsupervised by 12! Talk about a free live in housekeeper/chef! She got over! But I appreciate what I learned.

Nice try, Mrs. Aufton LOL… for those of us who know the deal, the father’s “sickness” is sometimes followed by and/or before the mother’s morning sickness. Awwwww…I’m getting a little teary eyed now, but I see those cow eyes glancing right back. Lemme stop…

Come to think of it, there’s a young lady here at work, whose husband (and her mother) says their now ready to begin starting a family right away, since she’s now done with school (graduating this past wkend). She seems excited as well, but I can tell she wants to enjoy “their time” together a little while longer before they begin starting a family. And I concurred that would be very wise, esp since she’s only 26.

As the old folks say, they’re a blessing and a burden. I can’t argue that one honestly, but yet and still, “we’re” all here…

DasV My oldest daughter recv’d a cell phone last Christmas, and it was revoked within 90 days. Even though she’s not the girlie type, “Mama’s not THAT crazy” …she spends enough time around them as it is. Whatever they’ve got to say to each other, I’m sure can be said while at school, esp since they’re around each other for at least 7 hrs a day. And if she complains, I simply tell her to manage her time better.

I also remind her ——> I’ve been your age once, you’ve neva been mine. I know you better than you know yourself (esp in this stage of your life) and you ain’t ready. And if you don’t agree, then PROVE ME WRONG, b/c this is not a necessity and all this extra will definitely be earned, as with anything else.

By uh oh

December 17, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

Raqi see all that good loving you so explicitly speak of…mmm mmm mmm, whew! Shut cho mouf!

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

he made a joke about his swimmers being potent and asked me was I sure about the decision we were making.

Raqi, you have such a thoughtful husband! :-D

By Angie

December 17, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

venus who’s your carrier? you can put a limit on his text and/or set it up to where he can text only certain ppl.

i look at kel’s phone everyday. i don’t play! he is too busy for that nonsense. i’m dreading the day he falls in love. ugh! his grades are great and he is working hard right now on his game. he made 16 points last night. is that good? lol. i think it is.

By Foots

December 17, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

Mo Anyone know what 3yr old girls like?? Seriously

When my nieces were 3, they liked to play dress-up. So I got them one of those little trunks with all of the dresses and shoes inside. They loved it, but make sure that the label shows the ages that its for and that it has no small parts to choke on, like rings.

By Leggs

December 17, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

The “Bishop Weeks” is giving his wife a beat down in the parking lot since he was so mad at her!

By For Real

December 17, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam! Lets see what tea is being poured today.

By MELO

December 17, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

I know things get lost in translation for you, but I hope this breaks it down for you LOL,that goes both ways then u cld say. I used the CEO ref coz i meant head as in the buck stops here. My queen is my support stuff,the moment she wants to become head, i spin.She supports me,she got the power to make a decison that i approve off.And when it comes out of the door, its mine.That is the power the CFO has.If the CEO has not signed on it,it wont go out there,it wont be heard.The buck stops with the CEO,not the CFO. No translation lost here lady.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

he need to come correct when addressing ‘the queen’ of the house. he aint allowed to ‘wassup’ me either when i come through the door.

DasV – I agree. Get you a text dictionary, too.

By Angie

December 17, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this

ared what now? lol. me deciding to do permanent birth control … something wrong with that? lawdy lawd

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this

Jamoca we had some bad pasta, that’s all.

uh oh whatchu tombout willis?

By Foots

December 17, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

melo so,Raw it is???

Tubal ligation offers no protection against STDs. Folks still need to strap up even when pregnancy isn’t possible.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this

ared what now? lol. me deciding to do permanent birth control … something wrong with that? lawdy lawd

Angie, I’m glad you got your tubes tied. It’s just sad that after two babies, an abortion that you would still have two other kids had you not been “fixed.” You’re really lucky you don’t have a disease you can’t get rid of.

You may not be, but you post wreckless as hell. It’s really sad.

By JtJ

December 17, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this

Hey Bloggers, Seriously Anybody…… *Off Topic: Anyone have details on Ralph Tresvant being at Hairston’s on Friday? * I want to suprise my man and take him since Ralph is his favorite from New Edition.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

December 17, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

QC What up slim. ;)

DasV/Cee @ DasV - From what lil shorty told me from around the way. That lil text/note you get from a teenage boy may be the only connection/endearment you’ll have from him these comming years. So go ahead and invest in a texting lingo dictionary.

Typical response from the Black Woman towards the young Black male - acceptance of BS because Little Johnny Snot-Nose came from your womb. Cee, you have effectively reduced your level of standing to that of “homeboy off the corner”. Make them youngin’s toe the line and give you the extra that you deserve. Why should any MAN treat you like a queen when you don’t even require half of that respect from your own kid/jr family member?

Sometimes I really wonder what kind of parents some people had growing up.

Black up, woman up, b!tch up, grown muthafukka up, do some’n. The demise of Black society ain’t happen overnight. It’s the sublime water damage that’s destroying the foundation.

By Foots

December 17, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

melo The translation is always lost, even there, because that’s basically what I said. CEOs have the final say, subject to the shareholders. If you make a bad decision, the shareholders suffer and are swift with the reprimand.

Having all the power isn’t such a good thing all the time. The buck might stop there, but so does the blame.

By For Real

December 17, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

Foots Said Tubal Ligation

Dr. For Real is now in!!

By Angie

December 17, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

but you post wreckless as hell

wow! i’m speechless.

By Jamoca

December 17, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

Okay, Raqi …now skinnin’ n grinnin’

…and Mo about your niece, (I think). How old is she? What’s her thing?…meaning what is she in to? Girlie or tom boyish? Any favorite characters of hers that you notice? Things of that nature…b/c it really depends.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

AR

Raqi, you have such a thoughtful husband! :-D

I’ve had the same talk with the wife.

Trust, there will be none of that “You did this to me!” talk, if that day comes. After all, she has to carry that thang.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 3:37 PM | Link to this

Angie, your very own words were “not good.” I’m pretty much co-signing. No, it’s not good.

By Angie

December 17, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this

JTJ hope you find the info you need. i’ve been to every NE concert since the age of 14. they amaze me everytime i see them.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

December 17, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

Ared I’m glad you got your tubes tied. It’s just sad that after two babies, an abortion that you would still have two other kids had you not been “fixed.” You’re really lucky you don’t have a disease you can’t get rid of.

Wow. :0 That must be what you call “Smashmouth Blogging”.

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

Did BK do a Transporter 1 type door kick or what? Welcome dude, lay out the law. LOL

Ared that will not be condusive to my happiness. I will walk away from you in 15 seconds. So we’ll pay someone to do that. LOL At that age my azz could be gone in 15 seconds. you better enjoy every second of the Truff. (Thats how its gonna sound with no teeth) LOL

Raqi you pregnant? Congrats on the baby. If you throw up tomorrow morning we’re throwing you a baby shower. LOL

By MELO

December 17, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

FOOTS so we good then.I only spoke of head and lead and not of how decision making is shared even tho thats implied.How u manage and delegate and what not in a set up is case by case and relationship by relationship.There aint one formula.When u get the balance right,there is harmony.When the woman aint stepping off the podium to let me be up there and be recognized as King,DIVORCE.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

I’ve had the same talk with the wife.

PG, of course you have! That’s why you and Raqi are the marriage muses. LOL

Have you seen the movie Lakewood Terrace w/ Samuel L. Jackson? There is a scene where the wife wants a baby even though the husband wasn’t ready. She stopped taking bc, she got pregnant. Trust destroyed. All bad! lol

By For Real

December 17, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

I want to suprise my man and take him since Ralph is his favorite from New Edition.

Sorta gives a whole new meaning to I’m sorry but I’m not your kind of guy!

BK You hit them in the throat with that one. I was at my sons basketball game last night and I watched this 13 yo boy huffing and puffing at his moms bc they afe late for the game. Then he takes his jacket off and throws it at his moms to hold. I asked, you gon let him throw that jacket at you like that? Her response - he just upset bc I made him late. I looked at my 9 yo and said if I catch you doing that I will throw you thru a wall. My son’s response - Yes sir!

I’m sure the ladies will get defensive and jump on you BK after all it’s not the boy’s fault and it is most definetly not their fault.

By RELL - 2022

December 17, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this

I want to suprise my man and take him since Ralph is his favorite from New Edition.

Sounds like your man may be a lil moist in the booty….LMAO…..groupie…lol

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this

Why should any MAN treat you like a queen when you don’t even require half of that respect from your own kid/jr family member?

See now, this is where you fell off…you don’t know my kid, nor I yours.

1) Why will I be treated with respect? Because that’s just how it’s going down.

@ Blue - Level Reduction taken. Dude as I have said before i am not having problems communitcating with my son now. Please understand I remember what we did as teenagers, and it can come back around…plus i had times when i didn’t talk much to my mother when i was a teenie. That does not mean i didn’t respect or love her…

2) My son respects his mother. If you could see, you would see.

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

These folks around here talking doing Secret Santa this year. HA! Somebody gone end up with a bag of dirt or a bucket of puke if the don’t stop it. It’s a week before Christmas and now they decide this. HA!

By Wise Diva

December 17, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

ah no, Raqi, my name is not on it, I think that’s all yours snicker

By Leggs

December 17, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

OMG, just had a massage at work. My company has contracted w/this massage service to come in at a cost of $10.00 per person. He’s been coming for years, but this is my first time doing it (a b-day gift). OMG, I’m so much more relaxed.

You’re right PoppaG about those cold cuts. Doubt that I’ll do the microwaveable soups.

Jamoca my daughter doesn’t want to learn how to cook just yet, but I’m not listening. When I’m making big meals I make sure she’s in the kitchen w/me. I’ve already told her I’m not raising a girl that can’t cook. She has the collards down pat!

By Angie

December 17, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this

ared not good meaning i would be a single mother of four rather than two. i don’t mind two, but four!!!

i don’t believe i’m wreckless at all. i believe i have made great decisions in my life and beyond my control things didn’t work out.

wreckless is harsh don’t you think? i just hope you stay on this perfect path that you’re on and everything works out perfectly in your life.

i am one to learn life as it is handed to me. i think i’m doing a dayum good job. dueces

By DASvenus

December 17, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this

Jamoca i like that line i been your age once, youve neva been mine

and i feel you on that ‘earning’ thing too. i already have plans to corner my oldest while im off work these two weeks and break down ‘life’ to him.

and most of yall know ive never played chess wit him…. i feel its time. (plus i straight need my skills honed)

angie i have verizon. i will look into limiting his texts… but you know they after the mighty dollar. i doubt they offer something like that. thanks for the tip!

i am not one for lookin and reading text msgs, but he knows that i have access and will exercise my right if need be.

forReal shut up! i aint all i am in my head?? LOL

bluK i hear ya!!

but aint you heard… i aint the cool deep chick no more on the blog?? i gotta keep what man in my life i got. LOL

seriously, lil snot nose johnny round my way got told when i texted him back using proper english and let him know that wasnt gonna fly. and i did it under the 160 character limit. :) i know he on a tight rope at school havin a phone, but he could excuse himself and go to the bathroom and come propa wit it.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this

That must be what you call “Smashmouth Blogging”.

BK, in all seriousness. AIDS is the #1 killer of black women. NUMBER 1. It’s been #1 for the past TEN years. Now granted, the age range is 25-34, but she fell w/in that range w/in the last 10 years.

We are not invinsible dude, how many chances does one need to get it?

By MELO

December 17, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed/Angie i dont have ared’s pic yet but i bet there is a resemblence to angie smwhere.U guys are both cali originals so u cld be siblings.There is one parent ‘tween u, taking their secret to the grave!!lol i just cldnt help laughing atared what now?

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

Leggs

*Doubt that I’ll do the microwaveable soups. *

Healthy choice actually has some good ones, and they don’t have all the salt that most soups have.

I just mentioned microwaveable if you didn’t want your daughter messin’ with the stove. Some people have gas stoves and that is a little different messing with an electric, especially if they let gas continue to fill the room.

By RELL - 2022

December 17, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

BK, in all seriousness. AIDS is the #1 killer of black women.

got disagree….sucker/weeny mofo’s that kill there GF/SO….are killing our women faster than aids…..STOP SIMPIN….is the movement

By Leggs

December 17, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

ForReal, I turn to my daughter and say things like that just she doesn’t get things twisted while watching the behavior or other snot nosed kids. My child would never, ever throw anything at me nor talk rude to me. At 14 you have to keep these youngins’ in check at all times. When she walks through my front door, all that broken english (if she’s speaking it) is left outside. Enunciation and pronunciation is front and center!

Also, thanks for the recap, I have so much to read!

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

December 17, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this

Truth/For Real We’re going into the O-9, and it’s time for change, across the board change that starts at home.

I ain’t trying to hurt a chicks feelings (well maybe I am), but they need to understand that all’at excuse-making is making their “baby” somebody else’s headache.

For Real I’m sure the ladies will get defensive and jump on you BK after all it’s not the boy’s fault and it is most definetly not their fault.

Man I’ll tell a chick in a minute, “(If) You can’t handle that kid right there; you better get out my face.”

By Raqi

December 17, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this

One bucket of puke for Truth.

Yall better stop it. Bad pasta that’s all. LOL

Tazzee I know it wasn’t meant for you ‘cause you ain’t trying to have a baby, you trying to date one. LOL j/k Do your thing.

WiseDiva this Bud’s for you. And I don’t mean Bud Light.

You all have a good evening. Imma go home and sleep this thing off.

Until tomorrow…

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 17, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this

Jamoca the lil lady I am trying to shop for is in Ll Mo’s class, he pulled her name for a gift exchange. Now my niece is 11 going on 30 so she is easy to shop for! LOL!

By SexyCool

December 17, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

rell…i was thinking that he was a man…..with…..sensitivity…

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

Why is the managing partner venting to me about his fellow partners (who are Jewish) getting both their holidays off and ours? (managing partner is not Jewish).

I have no power here. He does.

It seems that one of his partners, one that is Jewish, is off for Hannakah and will be at his timeshare in St. Lucia for Christmas (even though they don’t celebrate Christmas).

By MELO

December 17, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

I’m sure the ladies will get defensive and jump on you BK after all it’s not the boy’s fault and it is most definetly not their fault BK & FOR REALguys u right. but single moms have a problem in getting the discipline message,hence the chalenge.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

not good meaning i would be a single mother of four rather than two.

Angie - Yeah, wreckless still sounds fitting to me. You know sTD’s are transmitted the same way those babies are.

Getting knocked up is not “beyond your control.” Heard of a condom?

By JtJ

December 17, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this

Aaaaahhh Heck Nawlll Rell He is just a music lover, no chocolate poker over here…….. He makes old skool cd’s and used to DJ back in the day. He even performed NE songs back in high school at talent shows. Just a true fan of their music.

I heard a brief announcement on Kiss 102.5 but I can’t find any info on their site. We have not been out in a while and I have the holiday break from school and studying.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

December 17, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

Now this has been something I have talked about a million times on this blog!A guy auto matically assumes if you guys are chillin’ at his crib or yours that you are ready to let him into your pearly gates! See that is why I got St. Peter standing by with a gun to blast these fools! LOL It ain’t that serious bruh! See in the summer you can find outdoor activities so no scenarios like that will occur. But come winter…Staceye is not going to be outside chaffing me willies all because some dude goes into stupid delusional horndog mode! I can simply remind him of how resourceful I am with hiding and using weaponry! If a woman wants to have sex with you..she does not need you to convince her. Its a turn off!

As for committment..well ATL is a who new breed of men. They are like aliens to me….so different from the men back home. Although of course some of them are too. So I guess its just men in general..but not as a whole. Maybe a vast majority!

Oh here is an interesting article I read. It made me laugh and think of some of the Blog fellas…

[http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1096102/R-I-P-MEN-They-earn-pushed-reduced-sex-objects—-Tin-hats-ready.html]

Raqi what you doing in my neck of the woods…leaving breakfast no doubt! LOL Do you need to pee on the stick?

2cents They’ll insist they don’t want a girlfriend but have so many girlfriend requests… I saw they want relationship benefits…but no relationship. So can I have a wedding with all the trimmings (gifts, pics, etc)and not the husband? LOL

ARED & Foots Sniff…sniff…you know me so well! LOL

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

ForReal/Blue He’s my boy and chile. And i own up to what he does …good or bad.

But go ‘head an gyrate about how much you were all up ‘n up with your parents about everything.

@ DasV - If he has limited time on the phone to text you a msg, then excuse the short hand. But if he’s commin’ at you like you his potnah, then of course make the correction.

By Leggs

December 17, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

I have gas PoppaG and came home one day to my entire house smelling like gas. Thank goodness my child was still alive but I wanted to beat her senseless. She said she never smelled the gas. Thank goodness a window was open in her bedroom where she was doing homework. I stood there shaking from relief and madness at the same time.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

December 17, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

Ared We are not invinsible dude, how many chances does one need to get it?

I wasn’t agreeing/disagreeing with your post, although you were right on your point. I was just blown away by the explosiveness of it all; kinda reminded me of a grenade.

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

Raqi bad pasta gonna last 20 years before it leaves home. You’ll know when you walk through the mall and start cooing at those tiny azzed outfits again. LOL

BK this shyt is falling apart out here. Kids saying “what” and hold on. Dudes have fallen off, chicks fell later but faster. When I tell my sis about her trifling daughter she says “you just don’t have kids”. Wtf, I’d choke that mf’er into the night before I put up with that stuff.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

I’ve never had a favorite New Edition member. I like most of their songs. I even like some of the songs from their little spaw off groups like BBD’s Poison. But never a favorite member.

Now, asked if I had a favorite member of Salt N Pepa……I answered Spinderella (at least until I found out that Kenny Anderson hit that.)

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 4:07 PM | Link to this

I was just blown away by the explosiveness of it all; kinda reminded me of a grenade.

BK, yeah, you know the sugarcoat thing has never been my strong point. LOL

By JtJ

December 17, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

Ah right guys Rell, Real…..can’t a person enjoy good music without being gay……don’t act like ya’ll weren’t jamming to New Edition, Johnny Gill, or any other group back in the day……can’t help if they change teams, can’t deny good music…Go bury your heads in sand…lol

By MELO

December 17, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

Cee and DasV i have a 14 yrs old too and shes a grl.My queen wrks for the phone company and she wanted to give them 4nes(10 and 14) coz one,its discounted and 2,the 10 yr comes home 1st,so she waz really worried for her.So she figured,she cant give it to one without the other. I was apprehensive but i told her,u give the kids leeway,they have the power to do whatever coz u empowered them. My 14 yrd old did not take long to prove me right. Way OverBlwn bill due to text etc,4ne calls at inappropriate times etc.We have since yanked that priviledge.No need for a phone untill u prove to me its a real priority.I grew up without one but i did good.They can do the same.Im not empowering smebody to be a knuckle head be4 they can even sit on the toilet seat properly.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

December 17, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

Leggs I turn to my daughter and say things like that just she doesn’t get things twisted while watching the behavior or other snot nosed kids. My child would never, ever throw anything at me nor talk rude to me.

I also capitalize on these opportunities to reinforce my game plan with my shorty. He knows what’s up.

And on second thought, I’m gon have to give the women a half-pass and blame it on that nurturing gene.

The corrective action here is that if you don’t have MAN in the crib to cancel out that nurturing sh!t and keep things in balance, then you need to completely turn that gene off, indefinitely.

By MELO

December 17, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

Now, asked if I had a favorite member of Salt N Pepa……I answered Spinderella (at least until I found out that Kenny Anderson hit that.) so u dwn graded, right?? I do that too.Wants I put a face to the ex-pitcher,im stepping.And if his face has been flatenned by a tractor or resembles such,loathing allround.

By Angie

December 17, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

ared in a 11 yr time i had two sex partners. you? you can call it what you want to and make yourself feel good, but me and others wreckless … no honey.

i have had no STDs!

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

U guys are both cali originals so u cld be siblings.

melo - Negative. I was raised in Cali, I was not born there.

By Leggs

December 17, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

I agree w/you too Truth. I wasn’t allowed to say “what” to my mother, therefore, my daughter isn’t allowed to say it to me. When a child says “what” it’s always said w/attitude and that right there warrants a kick to the throat. Perhaps not physical, but even verbally, it will feel as though I kicked her in the throat!

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

Someone get an extiguisher cause BK is on fire. Man, you got me rolling over here with: The corrective action here is that if you don’t have MAN in the crib to cancel out that nurturing sh!t and keep things in balance, then you need to completely turn that gene off, indefinitely.

Now this is some original material. LMAO

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

December 17, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

Truth When I tell my sis about her trifling daughter she says “you just don’t have kids”. Wtf, I’d choke that mf’er into the night before I put up with that stuff.

And that’s why I had to go back and rethink what I said; ‘cause I know that me and my sister grew up with the same azz-kickin’ pop and the same azz-kickin’ moms.

Now nephew wouldn’t outright with his disrespect, but real sublime with it. He’s be so subtle that it would take my sister like 6 months to see that he was buckin’. Then she want to beat his azz to the ground after 1/2 year of fuggedupness.

See her problem was consistency… which is where I come in, ‘cause I’m on his azz like a midget on Barbaro - straight whoopin’ that azz and diggin’in heels on the daily.

By MELO

December 17, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

ared in a 11 yr time i had two sex partners only one is good to give u a present tho.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

@ Melo - I see your point and how the phone priv has not worked for your 14 y/o. We have a prepay phone for my son. And he doesn’t even acknowledge it school time or take it with him a lot of places. 2) When he’s at a friend’s, or with the babysitter i can simply call “my” phone and find out what’s up. It’s a win for us.

I haven’t had any problems.

They’ve got to learn to respect phone priviledges too. Just like any other gadget/toy.

By DreamsMaterialize

December 17, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

PoppaG I’m wit you on that. Spin was always the finest to me too.

BlueK I feel you bruh. Gotta be hard on these boys. The world won’t make excuses for them, so they won’t get any from me either. Get ya sh_t tight, keep it tight. Actually, it goes for the girls too, maybe even more.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this

ared in a 11 yr time i had two sex partners.

Angie Yeah, but how many did this man who cheated on you chronically have? Lack of partners doesn’t save you from being wreckless.

But it’s whatever girl. Glad you aren’t a baby mama 4 times over. Good job then. :-/

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

Melo

I couldn’t stand Kenny Anderson. We had an altercation back at a club back in the day called Atlanta Live which was on Pidedmont next to the Disco Kroger in Buckhead. He was still at Georgia Tech, I think.

Now, I couldn’t even tell you why we almost came to blows in the first place. It wasn’t a chick. It probably was the fact that we both had our share of the liquid courage while in there.

By MELO

December 17, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

I’ve already told her I’m not raising a girl that can’t cook. She has the collards down pat good!!!!!! Leggs,dont give these lil ones no slack.Its the damn mothers who give these kids unnecesary priviledges.Raise them right.I kick mine,i dont play.Queen and i will be in tch so we can cme over and spend an afternoon.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

Angie - And no, it doesn’t make me “feel good” to see women not protecting themselves.

By Jamoca

December 17, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

Blue …that was a very good point. For Real You reminded me of the time my two youngest daughters and I were inside of Old Navy and how many mothers allowed their young children to ambush the place. My daughters just stared wide eyed and mouths open in amazement, then my littlest one looked up at me and I said Ohhh, you already know what time it is, little girl and she said, yes ma’am. As a matter of fact, the two WL behind me made a comment that they did not even notice I had not one but two children with me, b/c they were so well behaved in public. I said to them, *…well, it starts right at home and they know what will be waiting for them when we arrive if they so dare “try me”…or for that matter, right in public.” I believe sometimes a child needs some humility…it checks that defiant spirit, if one exists. So no jumpin’ the gun here, you (both) are absolutely correct. I really admire great fathers when I spot/hear one…though it saddens me at the thought of “you all” becoming extinct.

but single moms have a problem in getting the discipline message,hence the chalenge.

Melo Although two is better than one, but if those two “ain’t got it together” either, the child will still be an emotional and psychological mess.

I’ve known children who were raised in two parent homes and just as triflin’ as their parents. Whereas, I’ve also seen a child raised by only one parent (mother or father) and has more sense than many.

IMO, raising a child whether it’s one, two, three or four is still and will always be a challenge. And like gardening, they don’t develop into the desired stage overnight. It takes lots of patience, nuturing, guidance, “fertilizing” and pruning…not to mention weeding. and consistancy is A MUST. That child watches your every move and they absorb everything they come into contact with like sponges.

So many write books and give classes about raising children, but they forget to express that each child is different and certain techniques and/or parenting skills may work for one and not the other. There is no manual like the one you will write on your own, when it’s all said and done.

By RELL - 2022

December 17, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

@bk to your arguement today…peep this ish…

http://news.teamxbox.com/xbox/18424/Kid-Shoots-Parents-for-Taking-Away-His-Copy-of-Halo-3/

and i am with you i had to cuss out the kids in the hood recently for stepping out of line and telling lies to me….thats a no go…plus i have a that marine corp command voice…so yea no mo problems…i have calmed down many of the “shawtyS” when i am out n about on that dumb ish….i dont play with kids period….i dont play with mine…the kids are like your dad is mean…i am like no its just your mother is soft….so i am with you…

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

December 17, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

Truth I know I say some wild azz sh!t sometimes but I be dead azz serious.

And Ared tact ain’t never been a strong point with me either; but even so some things still blow me away. LOL I’m still looking at that post like, “DA-yum!”

I see old Cee-Biscuit ain’t want to get rode by Rough Ridah Blue today. She got Casper like a muthfugga. LMAO

By The Truth

December 17, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this

Rotflmao at Ared and Angies convo. This fuggin blog is the best entertainment available.

Rell moist booty for the Ralph Tresvant fan. Rolling

Falcons fans, I must apologize. What this team did is remarkable considering where they were last yyear this time. Kudos

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

December 17, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this

For Real I am with you…I do not allow anyone to disrespect me….especially a kid. If that kid is in my care and they act up..trust how I will not only embarass the crap out of them but they get backsmacked just like I did as a kid!

By JtJ

December 17, 2008 4:30 PM | Link to this

Popp Okay…..maybe “favorite” was a bad word choice….Ralph was the one he thought he could sing like. No funny business. Ralph put out a CD about two years ago that was on it!!! There was one song that I really liked…..it was called something like “Favorite Girl” or the like. It sounded really good, but he messed up with the bald head.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 4:30 PM | Link to this

Atlanta Live was my second exp at a club in Atl. It’s still around? old spot

PoppaG…dating yourself?

By MELO

December 17, 2008 4:32 PM | Link to this

PG,yeah i know the place.Besides, u look at spindirella and u imagine the grl has some class about her.Kenny Anderson,he played in the nba alright,but she can do better,i figure.The last time i heard,the guy had a barbershop.Did he graduate at all??? I can do that.LOL

By Angie

December 17, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this

ared you are the one who doesn’t get it. report back and let the blog know how you had control over all of your ex husband’s actions.

i’m starting to believe that ppl who start shiit got issues.

By RELL - 2022

December 17, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

Atlanta Live

THE BEST CLUB EVER IN ATLANTA…mayne did i get my thing off up in there….it has never been duplicated since….actually atlanta in the 90’s has never been duplicated…its a shell of its former shelf….

By Angie

December 17, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this

ared in a eight year relationship you would still use condoms? living in the same household? lol. you stupid!

By For Real

December 17, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this

Leggs That good you do your daughter like that but the problem is women tend to raise their daughters and spoil their sons.

BK Funny how you keep women saying they have no time for BS but keep making a excuses for lil jamario. Tell me if this sounds familiar: He don’t have……. so that’s why he broke into yo house and stole your butter. Or something close to that….

Awwww Dayummm!!! JtJ Tell Edward J I said what’s up!

2E’s Awwww come now, how many time have played nekked twister together and I have never once asked you for sex. You can’t count the 117 times I slipped and fell into the puddy. Those were all accidents. You know I value our platonic friendship.

Cem Don’t make the mistake of confusing a girl’s teenage years with those of a boy’s teenage years. Those are two very different dynamics. Again, you may have to explain to a girl why they can’t do something but sometimes with boys an explanation will not due so you have to bust them in the head to the white meat before they will understand.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 4:37 PM | Link to this

So many write books and give classes about raising children, but they forget to express that each child is different and certain techniques and/or parenting skills may work for one and not the other. There is no manual like the one you will write on your own, when it’s all said and done.

@ Jamoca - i agree.

@ Blue - You’ve missed it/me? See 3:43. We’re on the right track. Thanks for the heads up. Never gotta worry about Cee and her crew.

By SexyCool

December 17, 2008 4:37 PM | Link to this

i used to like cafe echelon…

By MELO

December 17, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this

Melo Although * two is better than one,* STOP right there Jamoca!!. Anything after that sounds like thats ur preferance,like u accepting it as good.We all know,we generalizing,right.But the stats prove u and i correct.One parent will act as a control on the other.There is no fall back on,in one.

By Angie

December 17, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

truth i don’t get why she gotta play dirty all the time. beats me. you think she still mad? lol.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

December 17, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

Dreams Actually, it goes for the girls too, maybe even more.

Yeap, ALL kids, especially Black kids, need that man presence… ‘cause we(‘re) some naturally strong-headed, aggressive MoFo’s. LOL

Rell and i am with you i had to cuss out the kids in the hood recently for stepping out of line and telling lies to me….thats a no go…

Man, those kids want and need that. It’s funny ‘cause once you check a few of them, you get major respect. Little shorty’s are waving when I come down the street. I think I’m the neighborhood Big Brother - lil bammas waitin’ in my driveway trying to get their bikes fixed and all’at.

I swear one little dude, that zips up and down the street on his moped is more afraid to let me see him w/o his helmet than his own moms.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

Angie, you can control getting knocked up. Especially 4 times.

And you were never married, so feel free to do the same if you can still catch a husband at 40.

By the way, I don’t “start” ish. Maybe you should keep your “issues” off the blog if you aren’t comfortable with feedback about your choices.

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this

Melo

Did he graduate at all???

I don’t think so. Like Stephon Marbury, Cremins got those guys b/c they could bounce a basketball not because they were gonna be engineers.

Heck, in his HS press conference, Marbury announce that he would attend “The University of Georgia Tech” I knew then that he didn’t plan to stay there long.

It is Georgia Institute of Technology. Not a University.

They both got paid though. NBA guarantees is money. What he did with the money, I don’t know. Spin has had him in court on more than one occasion for failure to pay child support.

No. Atlanta Live has been long gone. There is a World Plus Cost Market or something to that effect in that spot currently.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this

with boys an explanation will not due so you have to bust them in the head to the white meat before they will understand.

@ ForReal - You’ve got that right. I’ve did somethangs to make dude…oh can’t say on blog. He’s a good solider after i’ve gotten barbaric wit’ him, and he comes and tell me what he understood of his “due”. There is more integrity buitlt in dude than most.

By JtJ

December 17, 2008 4:43 PM | Link to this

Real I am not that old…..I don’t know who Edward J is…………

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 4:44 PM | Link to this

in a eight year relationship you would still use condoms? living in the same household? lol. you stupid! - Angie

Lawd, this coming from the same woman who had no clue her man was cheating on her during these 8 years til the very end?

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 4:48 PM | Link to this

noooowww…back to my regular schedule blog-style.

Mo Did you find out what type pop corn it was?

PoppaG They closed the World Market long ago on Campcreek. There’s one on Cobb Pkwy that has been doing okay.i had thought they went the way of bankrupt, guess not.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 4:48 PM | Link to this

i don’t get why she gotta play dirty all the time.

Angie Please save the dramatics. I don’t even post to you “all the time.”

And what would I be mad about? It’s not my fault your ish sounds crazy.

By DreamsMaterialize

December 17, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

Rell/PoppaG ATLANTA LIVE was the sh_t. It was like new years eve in that joint every weekend. And Fat Tuesdays was right across the street. Loved them days.

By MELO

December 17, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this

Heck, in his HS press conference, Marbury announce that he would attend “The University of Georgia Tech Dumb FOOL!!!!.Thats another mufugga i cannot stand!!!! When i heard about the Kenny talking about his barbershop on radio, i shook my head real hard.These idiots need to come to me.(well coz they lame, i might steal a cple of miliions too)

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this

Rell

THE BEST CLUB EVER IN ATLANTA…mayne did i get my thing off up in there….it has never been duplicated since….actually atlanta in the 90’s has never been duplicated…its a shell of its former shelf….

True post….I blame the Cobalt Lounge and Ray Lewis. After that bad publicity Buckhead wanted the clubs out.

Buckhead really was fun back then. Atlanta Live was my favorite place, too. Brett Farve spent so much time there that he missed the Falcons team photo when he was here.

Vegas Nights kinda reminded me of it. But still something was missing.

But come to think of it, the music isn’t the same either. You have Biggie and 2Pac sets up in Atlanta Live. Then, the DJ might throw some Cleveland in it with Bone Thugz.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

December 17, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this

Staceye Go’ead on BackSmacka LMAO I see you over there.

Aight Cee, you had me worried there for a piece. I ain’t worried ‘bout Jamoca though, I know she got her sh!t tight. You know them Cubans don’t fugg around! :D

By Angie

December 17, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

ared getting pregnant by my man ain’t so bad chile.

and you do start shiit. everytime you see my moniker you’re blood pressure rise. you need to calm down or get some dizzle or something.

By MELO

December 17, 2008 4:52 PM | Link to this

hey SexyCool and ur stark-up self lol

By Leggs

December 17, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this

ForReal, guess that’s why there are so many trifling, bad mouth, disrespectful boys walking around.

Rell, my child tells me some of her friends think I’m mean and my only reply to her each time she says it is SO! We have these neighborhood boys who are afraid of me and I LIKE IT LIKE THAT. I might be small framed, but I’ll cuzz you and your mama out if need be in a heartbeat!

By Angie

December 17, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

I don’t even post to you “all the time.”

good! keep it moving then. oh and middle finga.

By Blue_Kolla The Big Hitta

December 17, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

Ared It’s knock-off time, leave that girl alone.

By SexyCool

December 17, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

stark up?

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

December 17, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

Oh shut up For Real!!! LOL

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

Angie

in a eight year relationship you would still use condoms? living in the same household? lol. you stupid!

Until recently, my wife and I did. We didn’t want kids before we were ready for them. No need to make things harder on ourselves than it had to be.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

everytime you see my moniker you’re blood pressure rise

Angie, don’t flatter yourself. When you post you’re like a living example of what not to do. So thank you.

getting pregnant by my man ain’t so bad chile.

By the way, this is the dumbest quote of the day. Your kids deserve better from you, seriously.

By Tazzee

December 17, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

Truth I accept your apology.

Have a great evening all.

By Cemeeli

December 17, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

@ Blue…my bwoi. I’ve told you before nah…You aint’ gotta worry about Cee. For real though, thanks for looking out!<—that’s what’s up. When that lil dude decides he wanna say sumthin’ sideways…the shank coming out his neck will explain why you trying to get me a bondsman. ;)

~ Ya’ll be easy.

By For Real

December 17, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

The World Bar was the ish period! $2 dollar drinks henny str8!!! $10 in that place and For Real became the smoothest talking dude in the World! The World Craig!!

By Angie

December 17, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

and i will continue to blog about my issues like everyone else. staceye had a good suggestion the other day … skip my shiit if you don’t like it!

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

Until recently, my wife and I did. We didn’t want kids before we were ready for them. No need to make things harder on ourselves than it had to be.

Good for you PG, and what do you know, you’re actually married. Go figure.

By MELO

December 17, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

ared and angie, are u guys still fully clothed after this romp??

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 5:03 PM | Link to this

Leggs

I might be small framed, but I’ll cuzz you and your mama out if need be in a heartbeat!

You left NY, but the NY didn’t leave you, huh..lol

On my last trip to NY, I remember see a chick cuss her dude out right in front of Junior’s. I almost didn’t want a piece of Cheesecake after seeing that because they were blocking the door and I didn’t want her to turn to me…lol.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 5:04 PM | Link to this

skip my shiit if you don’t like it!

This is a message board, so I’d rather post. Get over it.

By Angie

December 17, 2008 5:05 PM | Link to this

poppa we were speaking of std’s.

ared When you post you’re like a living example of what not to do. So thank you.

you do realize you are disrespecting a lot of the regulars on this blog. i’m no different than the other single moms on here. have a good night!

By For Real

December 17, 2008 5:06 PM | Link to this

For Real now holding Ared back while secretly wishing she keeps struggling to get loose.

Ared now busting For Real in the forehead with her bra buckell while screaming it ain’t no secret wit yo nasty self!

For Real is now laying on the ground with a knot on his head and in his pocket.

By DreamsMaterialize

December 17, 2008 5:07 PM | Link to this

PoppaG Yeah Buckhead pushed out the clubs with the quickness. When I lived in Buckhead, I went to a few of the Buckhead Alliance meetings…they had a thorough plan on how to eliminate the clubs, as well as specific businesses that should replace them.

By Foots

December 17, 2008 5:07 PM | Link to this

• Marbury announce that he would attend “The University of Georgia Tech”*

LOLOLOL!!!

Amazon And you were never married, so feel free to do the same if you can still catch a husband at 40.

Dayum!

By Leggs

December 17, 2008 5:07 PM | Link to this

Yes, I can bring the NY when need be. Otherwise, I’m sweet.

Good night!

By Angie

December 17, 2008 5:09 PM | Link to this

i’ll get over it when you don’t think your shiit don’t stank!

By MELO

December 17, 2008 5:11 PM | Link to this

good p****** nite!!!!!!!!!!

By Poppa Grande

December 17, 2008 5:12 PM | Link to this

Angie

Good for you PG, and what do you know, you’re actually married. Go figure.

Yep, we lived in the same house (even before we got married), but she didn’t assume anything. Honestly, I appreciated it and still do.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 5:13 PM | Link to this

you do realize you are disrespecting a lot of the regulars on this blog.

Yeah, but you’re the one who “deserves better” than to be a single mom? Right?

Besides, the stuff you post about is not their testimony, so get out that boat. You have that victim mentality that other folks (single mom or not) do not.

By AmazonRed

December 17, 2008 5:18 PM | Link to this

i’ll get over it when you don’t think your shiit don’t stank!

Sure it does. :-)

By Jamoca

December 17, 2008 5:51 PM | Link to this

Well, wouldn’t ya’ know, it’s still up and running?…

LOL! Blue I see you’re holding steady on your belief of “what I am.” But thanks sweetie. Good lookin’ out.

Jamoca!!. Anything after that sounds like thats ur preferance,like u accepting it as good.We all know,we generalizing,right.But the stats prove u and i correct.One parent will act as a control on the other.There is no fall back on,in one.

Melo let’s not get so technical. Try that on someone else who has all day to go back and forth on “what it sounds like” …you know exactly what I said/meant/typed.

Again, two would be and will always be better than one, however, that’s not my point. MY POINT is when it comes to raising a child(ren), the experience of molding and shaping a new life, who has yet to experience what life has to offer, if they so welcome it, will be a challenge, PERIOD.

You’re pointing out whether or not one or both parents are present and the impact that would have on the child is understandable. As I mentioned to a friend of mine, when he says: “Jamoca, you seem to have a bit of a chip on ya’ shoulder about that” …I say, how so?

The fact that everytime you turn around, someone has to point that out to you, gets really old, as if to pity my past, present and/or imminent circumstance(s).

My main focus at hand, is to first, never dwell on the shudda, cudda, wudda of how they were abandoned and left with only there mother. Why?

Honey, that’s old news and would appear as if I’m feeling sorry for myself and my daughters, when there is much to do and teach, not to mention, leading by example. As a parent (single or not) my mindset has got to be on point, since the well being(s) of the lives of my children ride on that, and they for one did not ask to be here, let alone in this situation.

This has nothing to do with independence either, but a real woman, steps up and does not look around for someone to carry her slack and in your words…”fall on”. Not even her man/husband. She does not whine, complain, or proclaim to everyone of how much MORE of a woman she is, simply because she’s showing accountability for her actions. Heyal, she’s supposed to!…and just get the J-O-B done!

She simply does what she is supposed to do, PERIOD without looking for rewards or recognition….or even taking for granted that her fallback will always be there. Shyt happens to the best of us. So if the unfortunate takes place and you’re no longer avaiable for her to rely on, the last thing she will do is fret about her child(ren) not showing/giving their mother her due respect, just because their father is no longer present.

Through diligence and much hard work of setting and (re)enforcing that example, she’s already got that and maintains said RESPECT from her child(ren) whether her fall back is present or not.

And that my friend, was my point.

But I believe, for the most part, we were on the same page.

…Good night you all.