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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2008 > December > 15 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USAccidental Girl Friend
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Women have egos. Guys, if you did not know this little fun fact about us, it’s helpful that you learn now. When you turn us down, in any way at all, we don’t cope with it as well as you do. It’s like it never happened and you suddenly become “ole’ what’s his face” Of course, no one enjoys rejection, but women are especially ill-equipped to handle it.
Recently, I ran into my own “ole what’s his face” as I was waiting on order at Raging Burrito recently. Ray was one of those charming, charismatic guys that adores attention from women. When we met through mutual friends, we hit it off really well in conversation, and attraction - on my end, that is.
From the beginning, I perceived us as friendly with a high chance of rendezvous, with relationship potential. When I finally realized he never made a move in that direction, I understood what it’s like for guys who end up in the friend zone. It pretty much sucks, basically.
Ladies, what do you do when you realize a guy does not think of you as girlfriend or wife material? Have you ever befriended a guy in hopes of dating, only to find out you were his girl (space) friend?
Guys, from your perspective, is there really such a thing as a friend zone? Are there female friends that have no chance of romance or a relationship with you? Do they know this or are they accidental girl friends?
If a woman misreads a guy’s interest, who is responsible for setting things straight?
Permalink | Comments (211) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating
Comments
By Tazzee
December 15, 2008 8:28 AM | Link to this
Morning Folks!
GO FALCONS!!!
You are so right Wise Diva - rejection is not something I take lightly.
Ladies, what do you do when you realize a guy does not think of you as girlfriend or wife material? Perhaps it’s a defense mechanism, but when I realize that a guy is not attracted to me ‘in that way’ I’m no longer attracted to him. I’m into guys that are into me. Since I usually find out his attraction before any feelings are developed, it’s not difficult for me to direct my interests elsewhere.
Have you ever befriended a guy in hopes of dating, only to find out you were his girl (space) friend? Not intentionally. I befriend guys with the hopes of getting to know them - even if they are attractive, my first goal is to get to know them to find out if they are mate material.
Unfortunately when I meet guys, the dating intent is put out there at the onset. It’s been a while since I met a guy with the potential of just being friends.
By Michelle
December 15, 2008 8:31 AM | Link to this
Good Morning & Happy Monday :) I haven’t ever ended up in a friend zone with a guy and that wasn’t my intention. I have met really nice guys that might have the potential of being something more than a friend with me but they screwed it up by being overly insecure or just not my type. There is nothing wrong with becoming a friend with a person.. That is better than them not talking to you anymore for no azz reason at all. I never date just one guy at a time anyway so what one comes up with I am down with cause it is all love! LOL!
By joann
December 15, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this
ihaveneverbeenstuckinthefrienndzonecauseialwaysletthemknowhatiwantfromthebeginning.imlookingforahusbandesoitellsthemfromthefirstdatethatiamnotdatingforfunbutforalongtermrelationshipthatwillleadtomarriageandkids.iamfortytwoandihaveneverbeenmarriedsoiamlongoverdueandiamready.
By Brian
December 15, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this
Morning all, I have a cold and it suks…
Anyway, This should be interesting.. Funny thing about an ego, sometimes it will not allow you to tell the truth(ladies)… Its not a pretty site when a woman gets rejected… You get the cold shoulder, theres probaly a rumor started about you.. Something has to be wrong with you ect,ect,,, DayQuil to the rescue…
By AmazonRed
December 15, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this
Happy Monday all! Did everyone have a fun weekend? Share, share…lol
Yes, I have definitely ended up in the friend zone and yes, it’s definitely a blow to the ego. There are three guys that come to memory who I thought were feeling me. We spent all our time together, had great talks, etc. But nothin ever popped off. I actually talked with one guy in HS, and he just said he onl wanted friendship, as time went on I realized that dude was probably gay.
In any case, in those three scenarios, all three of these guys ended up being some of my very best friends. And when I say friends, we’ve NEVER had a moment of weakness and gotten busy. That ain’t friendship. lol. In any case, the one dude is indeed gay and the other two got engaged to other women in 2008. They are still my good friends though. I like their fiances and I’m excited to go to their weddings!
By DASvenus
December 15, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this
great topic
but first things first: CeeCee how you doing today sista-gurl? did the weekend free your mind??
on topic sometimes its not about rejection. sometimes a persons circumstances/situation necessitate that they be put in the friend zone.
women take things way more personal than men. i think that men have the great ability to accept the ‘right now’ factor. when we put them in friend zone, they basically say to themselves ‘ok. not right now.’ they call us every now and then and check in….. what they checkin to see its ‘right now’ time. if it is its never for girlfriend or wife status…. cause the initial brush-off cannot be excused.
more women need to adopt the ‘you are not irreplacable’ attitude. and keep it moving.
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 9:11 AM | Link to this
…friend zone…lol…i love that place….and i visit it often…but i know how i get there…for some of my friends it was best i went there…lol….
@red….i hit the play date on saturday and realized i need to get my board game skills back up….i lost 494304934093 games of connect four….lost a devasting round of chess to this fine azz chick with her husband rooting her on…i wanted to chop in his throat…lol..but overall it was cool until beyonce showed up then i was like oooooooo hell nawh…lol
By AmazonRed
December 15, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this
i wanted to chop in his throat…
Aw Rell, lol! So you were just a big ole loser on Saturday huh? LOL
Glad you had fun. PlayDate is a good time! Foots, did you go?
By Michelle
December 15, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this
What is playdate?
By abc
December 15, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this
Guys, from your perspective, is there really such a thing as a friend zone? Are there female friends that have no chance of romance or a relationship with you? Do they know this or are they accidental girl friends?
That’s kind of funny. Does this indicate an assumption on your part that most guys will take whatever’s offered?
Sure, there are women who can be no more than ‘just friends’, if even that, with no relation to appearance or temperment. How could everyone be a potential interest?
By DASvenus
December 15, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this
rell you are too funny. sorry play date didnt go betta for ya. i need to up my chess skills too…. we need to help each using pogo.com.
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this
@red..yea she caught me sliping…would not been so bad if her husband was not feeding her tips….and the guy standing behind her as well…i took them down and my wife so everyone was against me….lol..but it was cool…
By Les Siren
December 15, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this
Men Exactly what traits would put a woman into the “friend zone”? Is it purely superficially based on appearance or can there be other reasons?
By C tha 1
December 15, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this
Of course a woman can be placed in the friend zone. I’ve done it…luckily for myself I wised up and plucked her out of the FZ (it wasn’t easy). Now I am enjoying one of the best relationships I’ve ever had.
By NY2GA, Inc.
December 15, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this
If a woman misreads a guy’s interest, who is responsible for setting things straight?
Well, I’ve been there, done that. That’s not a good space to be in because the interactions between the two of you have an awkwardness to it after the misread. So, I learned not to read into things. I let it ride. Eventually, the man will set it straight by either saying something outright to me or pushing me into a corner in a fit of uncontrollable passion. LOL!
By Kevmoor
December 15, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this
Morning fellow bloggers! GO COWBOYS!!!!
By DASvenus
December 15, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this
c tha 1 what made you go back and pluck from FZ?? what do you mean by ‘wised up’?? curious
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this
@les siren…lets see…umm friend zone for women…not too much other than the visual….most men will keep her around if she is an eazy lay…but for me…the things that will get her in the friend zone…is disrespect….groupie behavior…no drive…lazy…..poor hygiene…multiple baby daddies…poor parenting skills….etc
By MELO
December 15, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this
QUESTION:Men Exactly what traits would put a woman into the “friend zone”?
ANSWER:abc-9.23am: Sure, there are women who can be no more than ‘just friends’, if even that, with no relation to appearance or temperment. How could everyone be a potential interest?
By M'Karyl
December 15, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this
I guess because I am so accustomed to having platonic male friendships that being in the friendship zone with a guy is not too difficult to accept…I do not have a problem with being friends with a guy without the potential of any relationship developing between us…sometimes I have to evoke the same exact parameters with men…so I guess it works both ways…for whatever reason.
By MELO
December 15, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this
GO COWBOYS!!!! i went to bed early.So the The Dallas T.O. Whiners/Crybabies won last nite..good for them. And the Steelers lived up to their name,they stole one!
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this
Good Morning, blog America (and beyond).
Yeah, men can put women in a friend zone. Although, I think that it is done for our benefit not any other real reason. So, in most cases, it isn’t really about the female. It usually has more to do with the male and where he is and what he wants, etc.
For example, I am not very good at mult-tasking. I know this about myself. IMO most woman, in general, are better at this than men. If I am focused on something, I don’t see anything else. Honestly, during college I was so focused on getting my degree that I didn’t even want to deal with a girlfriend. There were a number of females were interested and I turned them down because I didn’t want to lose focus of what I wanted most. That receipt for my time and someone’s money that I could frame and put on the wall.
The females that were in the friendzone not because of them, but because of me.
Females, everything that happens in this world isn’t about you. Yes, I’ve had to tell my wife those words as well
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this
Females, everything that happens in this world isn’t about you.
convo over for the day….next topic…lol…so who LMAO at bush ducking the shoe thrower this weekend….lol
By Raqi
December 15, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this
Yeah it was always an ego buster when you seemed to be hitting it off with someone just to have it go no where. I learned after a few busts that sometimes it’s just good conversation with a nice attractive stranger. Period.
Good Morning
By Leggs
December 15, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone!
Friend zone, friend zone. I don’t recall me ever being in a friend zone w/someone I was interested in. If I’m interested in you, I’m going to get you.
Not trying to change topics, but Raqi I had a bad sleeping night Saturday and it’s all your fault. I tossed and turned and fidgeted all night long lying on the cusp of awakedness. All I could think about was “queff.” I couldn’t get the sound, the act, nothing out of my mind all damn night. (If only I made a phone call, perhaps I could have been put to sleep..but NOOO!!!)
By C tha 1
December 15, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this
Das in my case I went back to the FZ because I could admit to myself that I made a mistake in placing her there. I wanted a good woman in my life, and I placed a good woman in a position she didn’t belong in. Honestly it took about six months for me to get her out of their, but it was well worth it.
By Stormy
December 15, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
During my single days I think I ended up in the friend zone a time or two. Mainly because the guy was not feeling me for GF zone.
Yes, it was a bitter pill to follow but such is life.
By The Truth
December 15, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
Hail to the shoe bandit.
On topic: Wow, women have egos. Ain’t that news.
The fz is a real place. It’s amazing that as much as some of these women throw themselves out there to get scooped up they never realize that the vast majority of dudes could really give a flying fugg about them.
Weekend roundup: I had a discussion with an ex this weekend that was so mindblowing. Her and her friends spend ALL their time trying to figure out how to meet husbands. At this point they are just plain desperate. It’s like lurkers plea last week to have a mate in the 09. Is being single that bad? WTF is going on out there? These are all supposed independent women that can’t wait to have someone to kill the loneliness. WOW
By abc
December 15, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this
It’s interesting to see some women state that they’ve never been unsuccessful in their pursuit of a man. There have been a few women that I’ve rejected that felt that way, they never did accept that I just plain wasn’t interested. It’s too much for them to accept, that someone they wanted wouldn’t want them.
Needless to say, it’s a haughty attitude. Certainly, everyone will be interested in someone that’s not interested in them.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this
Morning.
Hey DasV, i am doing okay. I have the Step Program Phase I: Read is always theraeputic, Christmas Party, and a lil overboard shopping.
Off topic: Is it the older the kid gets the more expensive the “junk” (Christmas toys/gifts) get, hunh?
Many years i have been the poster “friend zone” girl. My girlfriend’s brother BIG told me i’m borderline “to cool for cuttin”. I usually end up being the homegirl of the crew… maybe b/c i usually can difuse a “pick up line”, and miss the whole intention. I’m not easily receptive either…
This reminds me, i need to go and play “Best Friend” for the 100th time this month tonight.
By Les Siren
December 15, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this
I’ve always believed that men and women cannot truly be “friends”. It just seems that one or the other is waiting for an opportunity for it to become more. I’ve never had a male “friend”. Even when I’ve let it be known that I’m not interested in more than a casual acquaintance, it’s pretty obvious that they’re just waiting for an opportunity to take it to the next level.
By Leggs
December 15, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this
Oh, I’m sorry, I mispost!!!! I just remembered that I’m in a friend zone RIGHT NOW w/someone. Cuz he’s my daughter’s track coach, I just learned last week that he’s interested in me but made it a rule not to date any of the moms of his team members. Had a bad experience and has vowed not to do it again. Much to my disappointment cuz the man is fine, chocolate and sexy!
I apologize for my earlier post being such a bold face lie!!!
By mytwocents
December 15, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this
PG I already know, I’ve a tendency to think like y’all but this cements it. That everything ain’t about you mentality is ingrained into most advice when friends are determined to internalize, personalize, theorize whateva it is they do to get peeved bout a situation rather than just deal.
Since you blo…work in Vinings, Ared maybe you should hit Linens n Things fire sale during lunch. Saw like 3 Dysons for maybe $150 now. Of course, that was Saturday and the scavengers were out… last day is next Sunday.
By mytwocents
December 15, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this
PG I already know, I’ve a tendency to think like y’all but this cements it. That everything ain’t about you mentality is ingrained into most advice when friends are determined to internalize, personalize, theorize whateva it is they do to get peeved bout a situation rather than just deal.
Since you blo…work in Vinings, Ared maybe you should hit Linens n Things fire sale during lunch. Saw like 3 Dysons for maybe $150 now. Of course, that was Saturday and the scavengers were out… last day is next Sunday.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this
Leggs - Thanks for your the reply Friday.
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this
Leggs
made it a rule not to date any of the moms of his team members.
I have a friend who has the same rule. He is a High School Basketball coach, and had a bad experience as well early on in his coaching days.
He says it would be like a lawyer dating a client/ or client’s family member. Other people started thinking that he was playing favorites in regards to the distribution of playing time between the kid’s and all of that. It can really become a messy situation.
By Leggs
December 15, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this
You are most welcome Cemeeli. Are things a little clearer for you now that you had the weekend to really hone into what you need to do to grab that blessing???
By Da Mick
December 15, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this
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By AmazonRed
December 15, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this
mytwo, Thank you. I think I will! I called myself trying to go to the one in Camp Creek two weeks ago, and that store was already cleaned out and closed down. Even the stre sign was gone.
I wasn’t sure how fast the other stores were selling out, so I’ll rush on down there! Thanks.
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this
@LES…your 10:15..is true
By The Truth
December 15, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this
sirens things that get you in the fz:
1) Too emotional
2) Too much time on the track
3) Smoking
4) No life or interests
5) Any grand statements about what you’d do if you were married
6) Wack azz conversation
7) Any signs of crazy behavior
8) Any statements about how we must be married before you’ll fugg me. (Sorry, thats not the fz, that one goes in the trash bin.)
9) To much time in church (Hey, I’m a sinner)
10) If you ask me to borrow money within the first year of knowing me.
These are just a few.
By Raqi
December 15, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this
LOL abc I tell ya, I learned that no matter how fabulous I deem myself to be, not every man walking this earth wants a “Raqi”. I had some real “ouches” in my day.
By Raqi
December 15, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this
And it is hilarious to hear men and women both say that they have never been rejected, dumped, ousted and whatnot. If every man had the same taste in women they all would be dating one woman.
By Les Siren
December 15, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this
RELL
That’s what I thought. I mean, I’ve heard men say that the only women they consider “friends” are the ones that they find physically unattractive. Any and every other woman has the potential to be date material or sexable (yeah, I made that one up) at the least.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this
@ Leggs…to be honest. No. I’ve just been on this thing i named: “keep it movin’, and don’t let it catch you” mentality.
Too much time on the track?
@ Truth 1) How does that equate putting a girl in the FZ? 2) May i borrow a couple dollars? :)
By Leggs
December 15, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this
PoppaG, I feel all coaches should take that stance. No doubt it will usually turn into a messy, messy situation for both the adults and the child.
By lurker
December 15, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this
Wow. My post made it to the “Vent” or the “Unvent” I should say.
By Tazzee
December 15, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this
If I am focused on something, I don’t see anything else.
PoppaG I’ve been placed in the friend zone because of this. At first I took it personal, I thought he had to be seeing someone else but then I realized he was really focused on his studies. I really admire his focus but it took a while for my ego to heal.
By Foots
December 15, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this
Amazon No, I didn’t go. I should have, it probably would have been a much more pleasant weekend. I did get my Christmas lights up and I bought four pairs of shoes on sale, so it wasn’t all bad.
Poppa It usually has more to do with the male and where he is and what he wants, etc.
That’s what I’ve found. I may not be The One for everybody, but for those who I definitely had a connection with, it was mostly about timing. In my ultimate “Friend Zone” experience, he had not too long ago broke up with his girlfriend of 5 years, so he REALLY wasn’t looking for anything serious. We were cool for a couple of years, then he let me know he was ready. It took a few more months to get me back on that page, though.
I’m sure that most women have heard, “I’m not ready for a relationship right now”. It’s the disclaimer that signifies that he’s told you what’s up, whatever you do after that is on you. If I hear those words, I change the course of my interest to Friends Only (If Even That), with no potential anything. I’m like Tazzee, I want the ones who want me.
By Leggs
December 15, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this
Being put in a friend zone is not the same as being totally dismissed by a guy you liked.
By Blow Me a.k.a. I AM GETTIN MINES IN DA 09
December 15, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All
Yeah the friend zone is definitely the ugly zone…I have been there in my life. Don’t like it…It hurts my ego very badly!!
By MELO
December 15, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this
things that get you in the fz 1) displaying too much eagerness or borderline dating desperation
2)having more kids than I wld care for in a girl 3) ur azz is broke and u seem to be angling my cheese 4) no career objectives 5) u smell of materialism 6) u dress poorly,ur nails are dirty and u drive a hupdy:not attractive for a female. 7) a holier than thou attitude 8) ur face is bland even tho u beautiful=a smile does not come easily on ur face 9) u alwayz reading a bible on marta 10) u wrapped/dress up all the time like a muslim,no hint of cleavage on u.U need to emigrate to the middle east asap!!
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this
@les…its funny how folks will bs themselves into thinking otherwise…by nature men need to deposit something in females…and by nature females like to recieve what we need to deposit…only friends females have in men are gay men…or family…everyone else just waiting until she slips…some get it and others dont…the ones that dont love the attention…period
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this
tatas
I didn’t say it to be mean. However, we never knowing everything that another person is dealing with.
That makes timing important. If I had met my wife, 4 years earlier or 4 years later, things probably wouldn’t have worked out. I had personal things going on with me, and probably would have been more focused on those things than any skirt that was interested.
We just so happened to meet at the right time. Honestly, four years earlier she probably would have thought that I was a jerk, and 4 year later she probably would have considered me a nutjob (losing all four grandparents back to back within 18 months was kinda rough for me). But luckily, she was there already.
By AmazonRed
December 15, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this
and 4 year later she probably would have considered me a nutjob (losing all four grandparents back to back within 18 months was kinda rough for me).
PG, very good point. I think that’s when patience and honesty is important. Fortunately, your wife came in at just the right time, I’ve been very patient in my relationship because I just happened to meet my guy while he was dealing with a lot of death. It changes you. But he’s also had to be honest about where his head is at, empowering me to stay or go.
By DASvenus
December 15, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this
rell i was! that was fun-ny!!
theTruth LOL atchu hailing the shoe bandit….
on those rules that would put a chick in FZ, is that checklist?? for example, 6/10 gets you in the FZ….. but 3/10 doesnt.
CEEcee glad to hear it sista-gurl…. aint it amazing what a obscence shopping spree can do!
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this
@DAS? rell i was! that was fun-ny!!
What do you mean
By Dan
December 15, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this
Walking in to work like I was on time and sipping my coffee..
Yeah, I’ve definitely been placed in the friend zone in my life, and I used to hate it. I’d hate the girl, hate myself, just be mad.
Then, I learned what it was like to have a platonic female friend, one with whom sex was not the goal.
She gave me a lot of insight into my failed relationships, a lot of insight into the female pshyce (sp?), and for that, I’m grateful.
As has been stated, “reason”, “season”, “lifetime”. And I’m definitely glad that I met the woman that became my friend instead of, well “something else”.
And now to work
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this
AR
he was dealing with a lot of death. It changes you.
No doubt. After all, what he knew as “normal” is no longer possible. You have to adjust and adapt to the new life situation.
To some a degree, it makes you come to terms with your own mortality.
By Foots
December 15, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this
Leggs Being put in a friend zone is not the same as being totally dismissed by a guy you liked.
In a way, I see it as the same thing. It is a dismissal to me, not in the sense that he doesn’t want to see me again, but that we won’t be more than friends. So I carry on accordingly just like he said “No way in hellz!”
Poppa Totally understand about the timing thing. It seems to affect men more than women because I can make time for someone new, even if I have multiple things to focus on. But men are modal and can have bad cases of tunnel vision when you all are focused.
I get it much more than I used to, but with mine, I have to remind him that yes, you have things going on like we all do, but life is going on around you; the world doesn’t get put on hold because you have a problem.
By Raqi
December 15, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this
Poppa I agree that sometimes timing plays a big part on a love connection possibility.
There was this one guy that I hit it off pretty good with but he had to move so that he could be closer to his daughter. Back then I was disappointed but now I can appreciate it happening that way.
By Stormy
December 15, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this
Truth
Your list is funny….but true.
Rell It is hard for men and women to be just friends w/out some level of intimacy.
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this
It is hard for men and women to be just friends w/out some level of intimacy.
yep..when you start sharing emotionally things get crazy….and if you hang out then it becomes harder and harder….i have been there several times…but for me it ends cool because i know how to steer that boat well…so there are usually no hurt feelings
By JtJ
December 15, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this
Mornin’ All,
I have only been put in the friend zone once in my life, though I have put a couple in the FZ myself. I admit it made me question why he wasn’t into me, then I answered my own question, I did not NEED to know why,I just had accept it. It is not a terrible place to be, especially if the person truly and honestly just needs a friend at that time. Now if you start to develop feelings and want more, just be honest and tell them. The guys I have put in FZ were the ones who couldn’t handle it…..that right there let me know what they were looking for and I wasn’t having it……. Now if you have been dating for while and have been intimate and then he/she decides to pull the FZ card, then you should definately question it> Raising the People’s Eyebrow like The Rock
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this
Foots
But men are modal and can have bad cases of tunnel vision when you all are focused.
True, but I believe that women are just better multi-taskers than men.
I just look at my field, I look at the secretaries and how they get work piled on them. Then, when they ask the male attorney for something, he says that he can only do one thing at a time.
Heck, I’ve seen it at home growing up. My mom can talk on the phone, cook dinner, and set the table. My dad (I love him) , but he stops what he does and just talks on the phone. Then, after he ends the conversation, he has a hard time just remembering where he was before stopping.
The most mult-tasking guys that I’ve seen are barbers. They will talk on the phone and cut your hair at the same time. But asking for more than that, can be bad for your hairline.
By DASvenus
December 15, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this
rell you asked who was laughing out loud at the man dubbed ‘shoe bandit’ by theTruth…… hence: i was, that was too funny.
dan it takes a grown man to admit that —— > I’d hate the girl, hate myself, just be mad kudos.
By The Truth
December 15, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this
Das whats up woman? You playing hooky from your meetings? I’m thinking about holding services in here to gather a little xmas money. You ready to ride?
Melo lmao at the inability of some chicks to smile. They act like the weight of the world is on their shoulders.
Lurker that ad was wild. WTF was that about? I hope you edited that little piece. The only thing that would appeal to is a cat in lockdown, and has been for 20 years. Good luck in the 09. LOL
Foots was it just me or was EVERYTHING on sale? I went in a few stores last week and the spots looked like fire sales. Some stores had 70-80% off sales or buy 1 get 4 free.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this
DasV - Thanks for asking. How was your weekend, sis?
PoppaG - The audio version of the First Emperor Terracotta exhibit was very educational. I felt like i was in history class.
By Foots
December 15, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this
Stormy It is hard for men and women to be just friends w/out some level of intimacy.
I haven’t found it to be hard so far. You just keep appropriate boundaries in place if there happens to be an interest on either side.
One of my guy friends, I met in college. We were together a lot because we chose to work together on several projects in our classes (you’d be amazed at how many people didn’t want to work with the only black chick in the engineering program, lol!). He decided that we would be a team for the rest of our undergrad career because I was shunned so badly. Eleven years later, we are still really close. No intimacy whatsoever and never any danger of it either.
On the other hand, I met a guy in my class several months ago. Although he knows I am currently dating someone, he’s the type that would have me horizontal if I gave him the chance. He wants to hang out and such since he’s new to the area, but because I can see the possibility of there being some misunderstandings down the road, I won’t hang out with him like that. He’s an incredible person, we’re cool and can even be friends, but I have to hold up my end of the bargain to make sure no lines get crossed. He’s the type of guy I’d be interested in if I wasn’t otherwise occupied, so I have to keep the boundary intact.
Now, my BEST guy friend, yeah there was some interest involved early on. But I wasn’t ready for anything with him and I requested that we stay friends. We haven’t revisited the interest once in these past 8 years and we talk nearly every day.
So, me being long-winded, I say all that to say that it’s possible. And very rewarding to have friends of the opposite sex.
By SeanJohnson3000
December 15, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this
Sup Blog
regarding the topic..i had to learn how to properly but a female in the friends zone..the younger 3 stacks would have hit me and stashed them on the practice squad…gotta admit i lost some potential life long female friends like that..now that i am older i understand what friendships are all about…but not to say it wont happen again because if its an attraction there u never know…on the flip side…never bothered me if a female put me on the friend zone..she actually helped me…either by allowing me to better understand women or by other women be curious and wanted to see what was going on between us.
By Lurker 2,3 or 4
December 15, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this
Truth Lurker that ad was wild. WTF was that about? I hope you edited that little piece. The only thing that would appeal to is a cat in lockdown, and has been for 20 years. Good luck in the 09 HUH?
My comments on making the Vent was purely that. I posted onto the Vent (AJC) on Friday and it shows up today. Only though about life being good therefore nothing to complain about. I’m not the lurker from Friday posting the I need a man plea. Although I’m currently without a SO, I’m certainly not desperate nor into making pleas. I do need a moniker.
By AmazonRed
December 15, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this
So, me being long-winded, I say all that to say that it’s possible. And very rewarding to have friends of the opposite sex.
Amen Foots, I admit, that when my guy friends were paying me such attention in the beginning of our friendships, I was receptive to more, thinking that’s the way male/female relationships were. But when they never made a move (meaning I wasn’t going to), I was glad we were friends.
I’ve had some amazing times, gone some amazing places and had some amazing talks with guys who’ve wanted nothing more from me than friendship. And I have no doubts that I brought the same to the table for them.
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this
Cee
PoppaG - The audio version of the First Emperor Terracotta exhibit was very educational. I felt like i was in history class.
First, you read much better today. Good for you and your therapeutic shopping.
Second, yes, the older the kids get the more expensive the gifts get….start saving know for the Christmas car (the one with the big red bow) for your son. j/k But seriously, they do get more expensive.
Giving him Playdoh for Christmas, might not excite him.
Next, I haven’t seen the Terracota army. Apparently, our firm changed plans after hearing repeated bad reviews by firms that had their holiday party there. We had ours in the large conference room here. We had some great caterers and I think that they decided to give us some the money that they saved from having the party at the High. So, we all got nice bonuses (not live the 400K of the AIG folks, though) and $200 gift cards to Macy’s. So, they actually treated us very well.
The wife & I will probably visit the exhibit during the first weekend of January since we are Fulton residents and that is our free weekend.
By Foots
December 15, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this
Truth was it just me or was EVERYTHING on sale
It was. You could probably buy a couple of firstborns for 60% off right now. And my mailbox is always filled with coupons.
It was such great camraderie in the JCPenney shoe dept. I hated to leave. I really hate a mall, but I had to walk through there to get to New York and Company. I bought a necklace and two pairs of earrings for like $12. Last week, I bought two holiday dresses on sale, and I had a coupon. I’m almost all set for NYE!
By WISE DIVA
December 15, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this
Hey everyone, I’m on the move, taking my team to lunch! How was your weekend?
Does anyone need a gift guide for your dates/SOs or did you cancel Christmas gift exchange? LOL
By Blow Me a.k.a. I AM GETTIN MINES IN DA 09
December 15, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this
SJ3000 wow…long time no see. I take that back…I forgot you were using your alias…..LURKER MALE 1 …that is ..lol
By The Truth
December 15, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this
Lurker 2,3 or 4 my bad. You gotta use the right moniker or you get associated with all types of things.
On a sad note: Funeral services will be held tomorrow for my big screen tv that passed over the weekend. One second she was pumping out color and picture and the next was straight flatline. She’ll be missed. I think she knew she was in for 3 years of storage and just wasn’t up for it. Viewings will be held in my garage til the garbage truck comes by to pick her up. I’ll keep her remote as a momento. I’m sorry, I’ll be ok.
By Dan
December 15, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this
@WD
I’m thinking of converting to Judaism or celebrating Kwanzaa this year, but any ideas would be helpful.
@Foots/Truth
I went to the Circuit City “going out of business” sale and let me tell you, I was frustrated.
Apparently what was happening was that Circuit City merchandise was being sold by the liquidation company, so there were no warranties, no refunds, not even boxes for half the stuff in there.
So as a PSA, just keep any eye out for that. Hate to see someone buy 300 thread count sheets to find them joints mislabeled with no recourse.
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this
Wise Diva
I’m on the move, taking my team to lunch!
Thanks! I’d like my steak rare (& I mean just cut the horns off and take chill off of it. ) Baked potato with everything on the side except chives. Side salad with Italian dressing.
Don’t worry about the drink…I’ve still got the stuff in the purple bag here. I actually forgot to take it home on Friday.
By Stormy
December 15, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this
Foots
Before I got married, I had a very close male friend eventually we crossed the line…and it all fell apart. The friendship felt very awkward after the “deed” had been done…but the timing was not right for us to start a relationship. So we just disconnected and the sad part is…I miss my friend and the friendship we shared before we did the “do.”
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this
Giving him Playdoh for Christmas, might not excite him.
@ PoppaG - Uh, so i need to go make a return, !?! j/k I loooooved playing with the PlayDoh sets.
I don’t understand the facination with Tony Hawk and Shawn White this year!! He wants these skateboard games and they are a lil pricey…(remember he’s and NBA fan)And the jerseys’ for kids are just as same as adults.
The exhibit was not a flashing lights and dance type thing. It is more educational than anything. My colleagues were uspest they couldn’t take pictures, though. It was funny to watch from my “people watching”, how extra talkative they were. I’m sure that had alot to do with the 3 open bar options in the atruim.
One last department luncheon, tomorrow at Maggiano’s. I’m actually still overfeed from Saturday. :)
Are you and Mrs. G going to King Tut exhibit before it departs?
By Deeva4Life
December 15, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this
Being in the FZ can be a blow to the ego, especially when you’re feeling a person. But for me it’s a reminder that 1)I’m not everybody’s flavor 2)Just because I think I’m a good woman, doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the consensus. Nonetheless, the friend zone doesn’t have to be a bad place. If the guy was upfront and somewhat gentle in letting me know where I fit in his world I can respect him and cultivate a friendship. But if he was a complete azz about it…then two tears in a bucket…(you know the rest)…LOL
SJ What’s up?
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this
Truth
Funeral services will be held tomorrow for my big screen tv that passed over the weekend.
I’m sorry to hear that! I won’t be able to make the funeral, but I will send a donation in lieu of flowers….to Comcast.
By Foots
December 15, 2008 12:14 PM | Link to this
Dan Yeah the Circuit City sale sucked. I went in there a few weeks ago to see if they had any CDs I wanted and the place was a mess. And the prices still were not low enough. I bet I can do a 5 minute internet search and beat the prices on most of the stuff left in there.
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this
Cee
Are you and Mrs. G going to King Tut exhibit before it departs?
All that I can say is that we intend to do that. However, plans often change. But, I plan on doing it.
We will take one day off - probably Jan.2 (since the first is a freaking Thursday, and the office will be open for Friday, and that will be the first day off in the new year) and visit the Aquarium (we still haven’t been and we live down the street from it), High Museum, and King Tut.
And the jerseys’ for kids are just as same as adults.
Who are you tellin’? I just bought my 11 year old nephew a Kevin Garnett jersey. Lawd knows, I never thought that I’d buy any Boston attire I also bought him a Troy P. (Pittsburgh Steelers) jersey.
However, what he doesn’t know is that I may just grab him up on Christmas day and the two of us do Hosea feed the Hungry…so he doesn’t start taking this Christmas thing for granted
By Foots
December 15, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this
Stormy I’ve had that situation too. In my case, he wanted the relationship, I didn’t, but he was “there” for me when I needed him. Needless to say, he was very upset when he started talking about the relationship and I was like “What relationship?”. I didn’t want to lose his friendship, so I had to give him some time to get past the shutdown. It worked out, but I had patience to give him his space and to make his own decision about whether just my friendship was worth it. It took several months of distance between us for things to return to normal, but it did, and he met someone else. It was all good.
I’d say that if you can, try talking to your friend again. Time heals a lot of wounds.
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this
Foots/Dan
The wife and I went to Circuit City and we got a digital camera from them. It was 30% off. At first, I thought that we may have gotten a raw deal.
But later that day, I saw the same camera at Wal-Mart for $75.00 more than we paid for it.
We went during the second week of their going out of business sale. We got the last of those cameras and the Demo was already gone.
Yeah, I know that we didn’t get a warranty. However, I am leery of paying extra money for that stuff. Unless it is something really major, like a flat screen, I don’t worry about it. This camera was 300.00, and I wasn’t paying $100 more for an extended warranty. That is just giving away free money.
By DASvenus
December 15, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this
c tha 1 gotta give you yo dues for realizing your mistake and doubling-back. why didnt you initially feel like there could be something between the two of you??
theTruth always ready to ride, papi… uh, i mean pasta. was wondering about rell and that ‘bishop’ in his title. do i need to get him some pprwk for payroll??
ceeCee my weekend was great actually. thanks for asking. it aint nothing like meeting the man in your dreams….. now just waiting for the shoe to drop.
poppaG you too funny wit that donation going to comcast. :)
By Blow Me a.k.a. I AM GETTIN MINES IN DA 09
December 15, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this
Foots & Dan I wonder do I have to pay off the circuit city card for my new lcd…
It doesn’t matter its not in my name…lol!
More importantly I am glad they went out of business…Now I can’t wait til HHGREG goes out too.. Those 2 places were high a* hell!!
BEST BUY and BRANDSMART is the only place I shop for electronics…oh yeah sometimes WALMART too…
By Dan
December 15, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this
@PG
I really do feel Chris Rock’s routine about insurance, but I have it on everything.
It’s a little extra, but I would hate for my tires, TV, iPhone (pretentious I know) or anything else to breakdown and not have a warranty.
Shoot, I take my car to the shop and be like “fix it” Cat asks what’s wrong, I be “I don’t know but, fix it”.
When it breaks, before I have to buy a new [one], I get the warranty and they gotta “fix it”
By SeanJohnson3000
December 15, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this
@ Blown…wassup?..i would never use an alias..been too busy keeping the water out of my nose..
@ D4L…whats the deal?
@Dan/Truth/Foots…i hit the CC on camp creek and it was a ghost town…but i also heard that the manager told the employees…anything they can get out of the store without getting caught…they can have..
By Mo (aka Moeisha)
December 15, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this
Afternoon All! Hope everyone is doing well. My best friend is a guy and I have never had a problem being in his friend zone. Never had an issue about us not getting together though everyone around us did.
Wassup SJ3000, good to read ya
I hit up Linens N Things at Lindbergh and it was pretty scarce in there, I did get some Yankee Candle stuff though
By lurker 2,3 or 4
December 15, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this
Stormy I too, have a situation of crossing the lines with a very close friend. There was an attraction from the beginning and we never spoke or acted on it. Always a hint of flirting and whatnots but mostly the conversation and interaction was always safe. We shared and talked about EVERYTHING and gave each other relationship advice, financial advice, morality advice, etc. Well, I stepped out of the box and admitted the attraction first. OMG, you should have seen it. He was acting like that came out of left field, that he didn’t see it coming and was pleasantly surprised What did I do that for? He stepped it up and about 10 notches and…..yes, we went there. Wasn’t a wise decision. He wanted to carry on, after going there a couple of times, in a laid back sort of way and allow the free flow and I want more of a definitive. We all know free flow is often to the man’s advantage and a no go for me. To his credit, he’s been the bigger person in trying to maintain the friendship but I’m dealing with a bruised ego right now. So, for now I’d just rather not.
By Stormy
December 15, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this
Foots
You just don’t know how times I have picked up the phone and could not dial those last two digits. I guess I don’t know what to say or where to began.
I hear he is doing well, still single and things are going good for him. He knows that I am married a with kids.
We share a few mutual associates.
By JtJ
December 15, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this
PG Yes, I’ve had to tell my wife those words as well I had to hear those exact same words from boyfriend and when I did it felt like a swift kick in the gutt. But I needed to hear that so I could take a step back. Mind you, he had so to say in along with the words Baby, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but…… That made it a little less harsh to swallow.
But that right there helped me to understand the everything is not about me nor do I need to need to try to be on top of everything.
By Raqi
December 15, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this
Yes WiseDiva give some gift ideas. I am 3 short.
By Leggs
December 15, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this
This is our last Monday of holiday food. I am stuffed w/ribs, baked beans, lasagna, meatballs, raspberry cobbler, pasta salad, quiche, and water to drink. Whew!
By Tazzee
December 15, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this
Foots I’m of the belief (and it’s been my experience) that if you didn’t establish the friendship during your younger days (like your first example), it’s difficult to establish a true platonic friendship without ulterior motives with one party (like your second example).
When I went to my high school reunion and homecoming this year, I was excited about renewing friendships with guys I’d hung out with back then. Unfortunately, because I lost contact with these guys, the ones that had not ‘come out’ were trying to make a move. With one guy - very cool in high school and I was REALLY excited about reconnecting with him - I tried to ignore the advances and keep it on a friend level. Well things blew up with him to the point where we don’t talk anymore.
So I’m resigned to the fact that my best male friend will be whoever I’m dating at that time.
What’s up SJ3000? glad to see you posting.
By Foots
December 15, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this
Blow I do a lot of internet comparison shopping. So I find what I want in a store, then I find it online.
I love Vanns.com. They are in Montana, I think, but they have some of the best prices out there. No tax and no shipping. Even if the price is the same as at a store, sometimes it’s worth it to me to save the tax. I’m cheap like that.
By Blow Me a.k.a. I AM GETTIN MINES IN DA 09
December 15, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this
SJ3000 AND I’m saying this out loud “”WOW!!”” I can’t believe that he said that. I bet that damn store did not have a pack a bubble gum left in it. And that store has been there all of 3 years. I hope they put a Brandsmart in it’s place of at least Best Buy! But I bet you were there to take him up on that offer! lol!!!
Yeah keep that water and white outcha nose!! Not a good look! lol!!
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this
Blow
I actually like Brandsmart. However, I really have a dislike for Best Buy. So much that the next time that I see, I will stop my car, get out, and throw two shoes at it.
Really, though, I’ve gotten the most half-azz service at Best Buy. One time the High Schooler was too freaking busy trying to show off the speakers in the car audio area to help me. Mind you I was planning to get audio equipment and he would have gotten a sale. I went down the Circuit City, which was right down the street on Mt. Zion in Morrow/Jonesboro , and they helped me and matched Best Buy’s price plus gave me 10% of the difference.
Yet, I tried Best Buy again yesterday. Once again the employees were too busy playing the Rockband game (one had guitar and other on drums) to help us. I ain’t begging nobody to take my money. We just decided to buy what we wanted from Gamestop.
Circuit City should have closed Carmax….that is a Circuit City owned company. Cars are selling well right now.
By Foots
December 15, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this
Stormy Try sending him an email first. That way you can say whatever you want to say without putting him on the spot to respond right away like if you were talking real time. Just a quick “Hey. I haven’t spoken with you in a while and I’d like to catch up with you.” If your intentions are pure and are centered around friendship only, I don’t see anything wrong with that. If he hits you back, that’s great. If he doesn’t, tell yourself that the email got lost in cyberspace and move on. LOL! But you never know, he could miss your friendship too.
Disclaimer: If you do contact him, just make sure it’s about your friendship and not your marriage. If the only reason you miss his friendship is that your marriage isn’t what you think it should be, don’t contact the dude. If your marriage is tight and you just miss your friend, cool.
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this
Dan
I was burned one. There can be some serious exceptions in some of the insurance policies for things some have time limits, which of course are so short that the item hasn’t had time to really wear down. It is a money grub for the most part.
I used to get insurance a lot. However, Watching and reading Clark Howard and Suzy Orman talk about them made me evaluate on a case by case basis.
Yes, I have insurance on my cell. I’m ashamed to say how many times that thing gets dropped. I’ve had one claim on that already. I knew me, and I got the insurance. I love my Blackjack II phone. 3G phone that was only 79.00 at the time.
Flat Plasma TV…..yes. It would be too expensive to replace.
However, the over the range microwave/vent/light, etc ….no. I can spring for the $275 for a new one. Its insurance had a ton of exceptions, which made it a waste of money.
For me, if we pay less than $500 for it and it cost less than $500 then it isn’t really worth it to buy an insurance unless there are special circumstances like my cell. (I knew from the beginning that it was a matter of time before it would hit the floor.)
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this
Sad day in Muddville…
Georgia Force won’t be playing this year..Arena Football league cancelled its 2009 season, but hope to come back 2010.
I was actually starting to like it. It was very fan friendly.
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this
I meant to say… Circuit City should have closed Carmax….that is a Circuit City owned company. Cars are not selling well right now.
By Blow Me a.k.a. I AM GETTIN MINES IN DA 09
December 15, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this
Poppa Don’t throw ya shoes!! Dont’ do it! It probably will smell like fritos and the back of someones ear!! yuck!
Yeah that’s true! The kids are always lolly gagging and not really willing to take your order…I feel the same way about BEST BUY…I have to stand there and wave….It’s a big kiddy fest those..Electronic stores.
Foots I am gonna have to check out that site. Thanks for the info! Sometimes I do alot of research online because I do want the best and greatest deal. I am a BARGAIN shopper..I will look at the ounces on something and check out ALL the specs…..I want the most for my damn money!
By SeanJohnson3000
December 15, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this
@ Taz and Moeishsa..i am good..thanks for asking…
@ Blown…it was a new store …but i dont blame the manager..he was prolly bitter about the sudden closing..lol..white? you can take the rat out the hood..but you cant take the hood out the rat…lol..
By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
December 15, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this
Hi ED
Guys, from your perspective, is there really such a thing as a friend zone?
Uh yes. Want to see the t-shirts?
I hate the FZ with a passion. IMHO a man generally wants one or two things from a lady. 1) is the obvious, 2) is a relationship. Men are seldom looking for “friends”, frankly even amongst themselves. Go back and listen to Billy Crystal in “When Harry Met Sally”.
It is dayum near impossible to escape from the FZ once in it. A woman might realize after you no longer are around that she has other feelings, but while in the FZ she will not do anything to jeopardize the friendship. The worst of all worlds is when a lady will let you spend mucho bucks on her, knowing full well it is not going anywhere. That REALLY sucks. Again IMHO.
By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
December 15, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this
OOPS meant to address to “WD” not “ED” sorry.
By MELO
December 15, 2008 1:18 PM | Link to this
is when a lady will let you spend mucho bucks on her, knowing full well it is not going anywhere im waiting on Rell to call u out on this one. that will happen if u dont make ur intentions known but try to be slick wit it,leading with ur wallet.The slick chics will scheme u dry!
By Blow Me a.k.a. I AM GETTIN MINES IN DA 09
December 15, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this
Please SJ300 Don’t come back startin no $hit now!! I’m just lookin out for you…Keep that white outcha nose…Nor I’m I hood. I just like to make funnies!
By DreamsMaterialize
December 15, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this
Hey Everyone Friend Zone is just like the Prevent Defense. Lets you play it safe by keeping around those who might end up being of interest, but you always stand the chance of losing because it’s not designed for you to play to win.
By Dan
December 15, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this
@Randy
Similar to the dude climbing off the chick the first time I apologize for the crassness, but trying to prove a point and says “you know I’m not really looking for a relationship”;
What dude does after paying that $100 tab on the fly meal and hear’s “I really think of you as a good friend”;
Both people have informed consent at that point, so how they proceed from there is on them.
Problem is getting people to accept that fact.
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this
@MELO…you said it better than i could….again if she wants to stick you in the friend zone bounce..if thats not what you want…if you want to stick around then get at her buddies….if thats a no go…move on….where is it written that you have to spend on women to keep them around…if she likes you then you will know…
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this
@DasV I’m glad to hear your weekend was good, ;) new guy okay.
@ PoppaG - I got dude a Dwight Howard jersey…he’s gonna be so suprise because it’s hard to find D. Howard’s apparel. And lets not start on jersey’s, sneaks, and the like okay…That really is a bit of costly, they forget the sense of value….i’m so done. What happen to simple board games and a Hot Wheels or a Lego set?
Glad u and nephew are volunteers @ the Feed The Hungry.
You’re right about
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this
actually if she tells you after you have spend some bread then that means you not communicating with her….she is with you…your a bobblehead….at dinner when it gets to that point only thing you should be discussing is how comfortable your place is and that you were waiting for an moment like this to crack the bottle of whatever you have had since your cousins graduation….thats it..all things lead home….whatever you say all signs point home….laying her down and splitting those yams
By Stormy
December 15, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this
Foots
My marriage is solid, like I said I just miss my friend.
I think I will send him an email.
I HATE BRANDSMART
My husband I brought a refrig. from them. The customer service was bad from the beginning to the end. Never again
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 2:16 PM | Link to this
PoppaG - You’re right about keep the kiddies perspective on giving, receiving, and those that are less fortunate.
I had to get an ‘exchange gift’ for my son’s party at school. When i asked him what i’m suppose to get (boys exchanged w/ boys) he was like, “Mom whatever u get he’s should be thankful to get something”. I had to chuckle b/c i could hear my voice in that statement, i’ve said it so many times. I went out and purchased a nice Chess set for his exchange gift.
By Blow Me a.k.a. I AM GETTIN MINES IN DA 09
December 15, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this
Stromy Wow…Sorry to hear about that. I love Brandsmart. Which one did you go to ? I go to the one in Gwinnett I like that one alot better. Try them out again….those places are littered with kids. But then again on those large electronics those guys work for commission.
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this
Cee
You are right about those D. Howard jerseys being tough to get.
I was able to get one during the summer. Luckily, through my wife, I was able to get it signed by Dwight Howard. After that, we took it to our custom framing folks in Mableton and get it framed.
His birthday is during summer and we gave to him. His eyes darn near popped out of his head. He has it up on his wall in his bedroom. Along with his framed Hines Ward jersey (also autographed).
We were really lucky to get the Mr. Howard’s autograph. He was in town after the playoff, but before the Olympic stuff started. We didn’t expect to get it, but we did.
As far as keeping perspective, it is easy for some of these kid’s to lose reality. It isn’t healthy. It is good for them to see that everyone doesn’t have it as good as you do. Even though we complain (notice I said We), there are people worse off than we are.
As my grandma said “I complained about needed new shoes, until I met the man with no feet”.
By Stormy
December 15, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this
Blow
We went to one in Stockbridge. First,we had to find someone to help us, then when that person could not answer all of my husband’s questions, he went to get someone more experienced. He was gone for about 20 minutes. Then, they did not have the side by side that was adverstised in stock but they offered to upgrade us for the sale price. So we said OK.
Next, scheduled a delivery time. When we went to pay he put a Monday delivery day and time. So the clerk says she can’t change the delivery. We reluctantly say OK.
Guess what? They show up on Sunday while we are at church and leave a note. My husband is p*ed. He calls the number they left and they tell him it will be 2 weeks before they can back. My husband asks to speak to the manager…he says he can get out by the end of the week.
They come to deliver…but insists that they can’t hook up the ice maker because of potential water damage and their insurance doesn’t cover water damage, yada, yada.
My husband is like, get outta my plucking house. He is totally disgusted with whole thing.
By mytwocents
December 15, 2008 2:40 PM | Link to this
De nada, Ared. Any luck? And sounds like we got our feelings hurt on the same day cuz I pulled up with confidence wknd before last only to swerve right past, dodging tumbleweeds in the lot. At least I finally hit Taste of Florida. Yum.
PG It’s funny how when you have an ability to strip away layers to identify root cause & assess matters, it’s often looked at as oversimplifying, or you ‘just don’t get it’. Most of the time it’s just what it seems to be- exactly what you were told. Folks will be in denial tryna convince you to join ‘em. I cannot entertain it, especially when I’ve already repeated myself. <—- this is where I am, Iguana
By mytwocents
December 15, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this
De nada, Ared. Any luck? And sounds like we got our feelings hurt on the same day cuz I pulled up with confidence wknd before last only to swerve right past, dodging tumbleweeds in the lot. At least I finally hit Taste of Florida. Yum.
PG It’s funny how when you have an ability to strip away layers to identify root cause & assess matters, it’s often looked at as oversimplifying, or you ‘just don’t get it’. Most of the time it’s just what it seems to be- exactly what you were told. Folks will be in denial tryna convince you to join ‘em. I cannot entertain it, especially when I’ve already repeated myself. <—- this is where I am, Iguana
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this
Cee
Glad u and nephew are volunteers @ the Feed The Hungry.
I’ve done it before, but he hasn’t. Actually, I did it for Thanksgiving a few years back. Never for Christmas, though.
When the nephew was younger, I didn’t want to take him away from his toys that Santa brought. So see the excitement in his eyes when he got his power wheels at age 5…I’ll never ever forget that excitement in his eyes….at 4am.
(Why couldn’t he be excited at 8am or 9am?). Johnnie Walker was still hitting me with his cane at 4am.)
By MELO
December 15, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this
My marriage is solid, like I said I just miss my friend. I think I will send him an email hey stormie,get in touch with him,he wont mind being on standby!!When u having a bad week with hubby,he can alwayz get play,he will figure that one out.I luv it when women lie to themsleves,acting like teenagers! If ur marriage is solid,why do u want to re-connect with a friend who banged u? smh…U trying to relive ur friendship be4 the Dizzle- shack hapenned,but the Dizzle- shack is making u remember the friend…LOL.Only a woman,pining on good dzle can have this kinda of logic.
By Jamoca
December 15, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this
Hello everybody!…
The friend zone?…yep, I recall taking a trip there myself, as well as being guilty of placing a few folks there; and admittedly was for their own good(s) at the time.
But the unique spin that comes to mind when speaking of the FZ, is how amusing it is to witness how some folks do the 360 on you all of a sudden when they take notice of how someone else is just as eager to swoop you up, just as quick as they’re ready to have you exiled.
The mentality of how they did not realize how badly they wanted you, until someone else did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard stories, as well as been a part of one in particular concerning a particular man playing out the scenario…and although it somewhat saddens me to admit this (well, N/R), but a lot of women are notorious for this!
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this
@ PoppaG
Dwight Howard Jr & Sr. has a basketball camp in SW Atl. at dudes old school. He’s usually in the city visiting/checking the kids at the camp alot during the summer. He’s originally an East Point resident. His parents old home is not far from J. Childs Middle school.
He’s gotten baseballs, shirts, and jersey’s autographed from Brian Jordan, Warrick Dunn, Hank Aaron (been to Hank & Evander’s home) Evander, and most of the Hawks players (thanks to the club).
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this
Cee
Also, the nephew is really getting into playing sports. He actually is pretty good. Of course, with the praise, comes some arrogance. It is our job to keep him level headed.
Plus, there is absolutely nothing wrong with giving back to the community.
Even though I haven’t physically volunteered in years, We do give monetary donations to Mrs. Omilami. We did so before the Thanksgiving dinner. Channel 11 had a telethon for Hosea feed the Hungry this past Friday.
They need all the help that they can get. They do four meals (Thanksgiving, Christmas, MLK holiday & Easter), they have a food bank for working families, and provide rent/mortgage assistance. It isn’t just a meal thing. She works on that thing all year around.
By Blow Me a.k.a. I AM GETTIN MINES IN DA 09
December 15, 2008 2:56 PM | Link to this
Jamoca* is how amusing it is to witness how some folks do the 360 on you all of a sudden when they take notice of how someone else is just as eager to swoop you up, just as quick as they’re ready to have you exiled.
Girl say it!! Ain’t that the truth. So funny yet so real!!
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this
I luv it when women lie to themsleves,acting like teenagers! If ur marriage is solid,why do u want to re-connect with a friend who banged u? smh…U trying to relive ur friendship be4 the Dizzle- shack hapenned,but the Dizzle- shack is making u remember the friend…LOL.Only a woman,pining on good dzle can have this kinda of logic.
good point melo…lets see how many will catch that lil nugget of wisdom…no one is listening mayne…
By Leggs
December 15, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this
MELO, SHAT IT UP (lol).
By Foots
December 15, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this
Stormy I think I will send him an email.
Good for you!! I know what it’s like to miss a friend. I hope y’all can patch it up.
You should try the Brandsmart in Chamblee. They have about 50 more people working in there than they need. They are all by the TVs though. I literally kept tripping over them.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this
@ mytwo Hey madam. i see
@PoppaG …I’ll never ever forget that excitement in his eyes….at 4am.
(Why couldn’t he be excited at 8am or 9am?). Johnnie Walker was still hitting me with his cane at 4am.)
Becuase his adrenaline, and excitement meter was off the chain.
My son has NEVER woken up earlier than anyone else in the house! I’ve actually had tie to put together and wrap gifts before he wakes up before Lol…i do a Christmas Scavenger hunt with his gifts…and this year will be HARDer than years past.
He enjoys hunting for the treasures.
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this
Cee
*Dwight Howard Jr & Sr. has a basketball camp in SW Atl. at dudes old school. *
Yeah, the friend that helped us get the autograph is one of my wife’s sorors who happens to teach there at SW Atl. Christian Academy.
By Stormy
December 15, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this
Melo
You are so wrong. I know that we will not be able to obtain the type of friendship we once had because my husband is truly my closest friend now. I just miss having him as one of my friends. No ulterior motives…just missing my friend.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this
Hosea Feed the Hungry and Ga. Aquarium has a campaign going on with Can Foods for The Homeless too. Ga. Aquarium is offering a free ticket/entrance for 11+ (rep 11Alive) cans for the month of December.
By Dan
December 15, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this
@Stormy
Question: does your husband know about reconnecting with this “friend” and how does he feel about it?
By Raqi
December 15, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this
Things that make you hmmmm.
By C?
December 15, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this
O.K, Stormy if you miss the friendship that you had with your friend, and you know it could never get back to that level…Why bother this dude you rejected?
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this
Blow
*Poppa Don’t throw ya shoes!! Dont’ do it! It probably will smell like fritos and the back of someones ear!! yuck! *
You better hope that the store doesn’t smell like that. If so, you may wanna call the police ‘cause there may be a dead body there…lol
I say that b/c I KNOW you ain’t talkin’ ‘bout my shoes/feet. ;)
BTW…what kinda dudes are you dating? They don’t wash behind their ears, eh? I don’t miss that spot. Mom used to check us after our baths (when we were young) and she would check there and the belly button first. Now, I clean those places first, still today….strange because she ain’t checked in decades, but it is a habit.
By Raqi
December 15, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this
does your husband know about reconnecting with this “friend”
Dan I was thinking the same thing. If it’s all innocent then she should have no problems telling him. But innocent or not I know how my husband would feel about it.
By Foots
December 15, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this
melo We know your point of view already: If it has two X chromosomes, you trying to find a way to screw it. If you’re in your 40s and haven’t yet figured out how to have a friendship with a woman without trying to screw her, then you’re missing out on the insight of half the world’s population.
Dan Transparency is key, you’re right. They can all be friends with nothing to hide.
By MELO
December 15, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this
does your husband know about reconnecting never mind the husband knows Dan.He wont be told,but eh,eehrrr,we slept together.And then u all call abc out when he complains about the sleek, ever lying,biattcches!! That man has seen it all, i trust his calls.Stormie is trying to bring excitement into her lyfe,at whatever costs to hubby,it dont matter.Tell me what sober husband wld leave those 2 in a room to re-connect on their ish be4 she was married.And u call urself a legit,faithful married woman??
By Jamoca
December 15, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this
Things that make you hmmmm
Raqi Food for thought? Please, share? :-)
Blow Yeah, I believe most folks have had this happen at one point or another…and here I thought those games were reserved for the schoolyard. But hey, it happens to the best of us, I guess.
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this
Raqi/Dan
I am with y’all. Men are selfish and don’t want to share you. Even those dudes that have multiple women on rotation, don’t really like to share.
Stormy, better make sure that it is worth it. Your desire to reconnect with a friend could cost you your husband’s trust of you.
Many guys have a “you’re either with me or against me mentality”. There is no gray area. You could be taking a bigger risk than you think.
By Raqi
December 15, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this
Storm speaking as a woman who lost a truly platonic friendship with a guy when I got married ask yourself if this former “friendship” is worth causes problems in your home. Some things and people just aren’t worth it.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this
@ PoppaG
At SACA? & she’s DST. I bet i know her…Lol..school is very, very, very small..Lol even Dwight Sr. knows my son by name. That school has less than 500 studenst K5-12th. The school we’re at now is 1-12 and my son enjoys the diverity.
Jamoca - How’s that sweet breeze?
By Jamoca
December 15, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this
…nevermind…
By Stormy
December 15, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this
Dan
My husband does know of him through our mutual associates. I did tell him I was thinking of contacting him. He seemed OK with it. If I sensed he felt uncomfortable with me reconnecting with him, I would not contact him. I would never want my husband to feel insecure or intimidated in anyway. My husband and my marriage are my first priority.
By MELO
December 15, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this
haven’t yet figured out how to have a friendship with a woman without trying to screw her, then you’re missing out on the insight of half the world’s population i cant argue with u on this one untill u cross to the other side.Only then can i trust ur insight on this,after hearing how u navigate between husband and former friends u slept with.I am just fascinated hw she is going to navigate that without smehow cheating on her husband by way of inadequate disclosure.I wish i were that mature,but i aint naive,thankfully.
By C?
December 15, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this
You said it PG! Many guys have a “you’re either with me or against me mentality”. There is no gray area.
Sorry, but I wish a married friend would try to call me and resume a friendship after exhile to the FZ.
By Dan
December 15, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this
@Stormy/All
I’m just saying, if my wife was trying to get back in touch with her old “friend”, I’d be a little hot. Grounds for shaking like water in the ketchup bottle, Jus me ‘dough
Just saying if your husband truly is your best friend, then you don’t need to talk to this other cat.
If you can’t tell your husband, let sleeping dogs lie. Cause whether I’m the husband or the guy, I’m thinking you back at it for more than a friendship.
By Raqi
December 15, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this
Do you see what I seeeee….?
By Dan
December 15, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this
@Melo
Inadequate disclosure will get a mufugg hurt.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this
haven’t yet figured out how to have a friendship with a woman without trying to screw her, then you’re missing out on the insight of half the world’s population
I dunno who posted that, but good insight!…
By Dan
December 15, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this
@Stormy
Just offering “Christian” empathy/advice.
Follow your heart
By Raqi
December 15, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this
Dan Exactly, again. I know if I told Mase that I wanted to reconnect with the Nature Guy he would say fine and while you are at it pack all your shyt, take with you and yall have a good life together. In so many words.
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this
@melo…slow down mayne..they not going to get what you saying…but i agree again with your 3:14
@foots…age as nothing to do with…and why is it always the men…specially when i work around some of the horniest older women i have ever been around…and they practice alot of KINO with your bwoi here…lol
By lurker
December 15, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this
Stormy you said things went bad after crossing the lines. You sound a bit like you’re dealing with quilt. It crossing the lines cause ad adverse effect on the friendship it seems to me both parties are to blame and both should probably let sleeping dogs lie, especially seeing you’ve both ventured on to new paths. I guess, if both was still available and could reconcile then yeah, reach out and touch him but I’m with the general consensus that you shouldn’t rattle that cage. Additionally, you said your husband seemed okay with it. How do you know he’s not cool with it? If he’s not trust, something will be said later down the line. Let it go girl. If the friendship not the man is worth it, it’s still there and somewhere in time, chance will bring you to back to tie those loose ends, making things right.
By Foots
December 15, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this
Raqi Now I could see that happening because he knows that you two were in a serious relationship and really haven’t been in touch since the breakup. I could see that he’d think you were trying to rekindle something and possibly throw you out.
In her case, the friendship was more than the brief relationship ever was, and they are already in the same circles. He knows of their past friendship, knows of her intention, and it just sounds like she wants to clear the air.
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this
dayum melo swinging hard today
stormy needs some attention….somebody tuning her out at home so this is her way of getting back….the time we waste in relationship or bs pursuits…..there is a disconnect somewhere….but the road you going down stormy only gets darker…folks love to BS themselves
note to stormy…by telling your husband you had the thought and the intent….ummm be prepared for more sh.it down the road behind this….trust me already went down this road couple of times and all it does is ruin ish to the point of divorce….but what do i know
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this
Cee
You probably do know her. It is tiny school, indeed…lol. But I actually like it. If and when we have kids, I might consider it.
Although I would much rather any kid of mine to attend Ron Clark Academy Visiting 6 of the 7 continents is an experience that I would love for any child of mine to get.
By Jamoca
December 15, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this
Jamoca - How’s that sweet breeze?
Sweeter than a honeycomb. It was beautiful on Sunday, around 74 degrees, cool and wispy, sun-kissed breeze. Just perfect for the beach.
…until the Bucs lost. Booooo! Even though it matters not, since I only like the team colors they don. But still…Boooooo! LOL
At least they have a chance to make it to the playoffs, but it baffles me how/why they don’t do well when they play away from home? So alright, a little t** for tat, from the beatdown they (the Bucs) gave ya’ll earlier. ;-(
By Foots
December 15, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this
Rell Some women believe that they have to screw everything with one X and one Y chromosome too, but I was talking to the SPECIFIC man who is always talking about screwing and I addressed the post to him. And those horny women clearly have no respect for your wife or your marriage, but desperation is a mugg.
By Stormy
December 15, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this
Thanks for the insight. Perhaps I did not really consider his feelings, eventhough he tried to be alright with it.
I think I will just let that chill in the past.
By lurker
December 15, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this
Stormy However I’m not on the “she ain’t getting served at home” others (i.e. Melo/Rell) are implying. I just think it’s not a wise decision. Think about the outcome and in the long run.
By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
December 15, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this
@ Melo, Dan, and Rell
You are right, I know I was the guilty one. There have been a few times when I liked someone who had become a friend and confidant, and I hoped there might be more. My bad, just disappointing as hellz. It really wasn’t generally about sex, several were actually casual lovers anyway and quite content to be the “friend with benefits”. I was the one that wanted more. At the time, I was still pretty broke from my divorce, and at least two of them were probably seeking “security” which I could not offer at the time. Now I suspect that things would be different (good job, more money, can move at any time into a nicer house), but I am sure that by now they have found that “security” thye valued more than friendship and lovemaking. Oh well.
Anyway, I still hate the FZ and avoid it at all costs these days.
By NY2GA, Inc. (Negrodamus)
December 15, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this
Stormy
Sorry, I don’t know of a married man who is not in an open relationship who would be okay with his wife reaching out to another man because she misses him. The only person that he may slap a high five in favor of you reconnecting with is a male family member. And even then he’s looking at him sideways if he looks like LL and his branch of the family tree is too hard to find.
By Angie
December 15, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this
hi guys!
Have you ever befriended a guy in hopes of dating, only to find out you were his girl (space) friend?
yes. while in GA, i let go of a guy who wanted a friend to hang with. i told him i don’t need anymore friends. i have plenty. i was in search of a relationship. we went back and forth for months. finally before i came home, i IM him and started a fake argument so that he wouldn’t try to come back. it worked. he emailed me last month just to see how i was doing. he thought i was still there. i responded with great, i’m at home in CA! i rec’d no reply. oh well.
singing
you shoulda put a ring on it!
truth hi. being single isn’t that bad. it’s just that i was used to something. now i’m getting used to something else. :-)
By Raqi
December 15, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this
Foots knows of her intention Yeah if he can trust that she is not lying. And you know good and well we all have done things that we initially didn’t intend to.
and it just sounds like she wants to clear the air Yeah but why. Is it worth finding out that her husband is not okay with it as she says he is?
You know some things are just. not. worth it. But that’s me and my house.
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this
Foots
In her case, the friendship was more than the brief relationship ever was, and they are already in the same circles. He knows of their past friendship, knows of her intention, and it just sounds like she wants to clear the air.
We are trying to give a male perspective. This ain’t good.
You should notice that all the men seem to have the similar views here. Stormy, think hard before you open that Pandora’s box. Are you ready for what might become? Is it really worth it?
I know that I wouldn’t take too kindly to it. I like to think of myself as at least receptive to her needs. As soon as I hear that she is going to some other dude, things would be different.
By Dan
December 15, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this
@Randy
I guess what I’m saying is that in the hierarchy or things, if you were after them for “more” than just sex, then yeah, the FZ is devastating (to ego, heart, mentalz, etc.).
But if you just kicking with a babe (no expectations) then having a female friend is cool.
If not for the insight, then the access. Either way you win.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this
@ Grand Pappy -
If and when you and the Mrs. have kids…ah, SACA would have moved and grown. Remember what i told you about thinking places are like you left them ump-teen years ago? lol…haha…No really SACA is a great school. They acquired Emory’s Summer Reading Program and it has done wonders for the students there.
So kids ARE in the future? maybe?
@ Jamoca - I would like to enjoy that weather girl….buuuttt…
Go Falcons! I see Warrick was all smiles at first, until the birds won it.
By Foots
December 15, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this
melo I have male friends and exes that are transparent to my relationship; I speak from that point of view. I don’t hide the fact that I have friendships and my man trusts that I’m not just friends with these people in case I need a backup to screw. I know where you’re coming from, you’re speaking from the point of view that if it’s female and looks at you long enough, you’ll try to screw it. We’re just not coming from the same place. LOL
By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)
December 15, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this
@ Raqi I know if I told Mase that I wanted to reconnect with the Nature Guy he would say fine and while you are at it pack all your shyt, take with you and yall have a good life together. In so many words.
I think my exact words (when I came out of the stinking drunk, passed out, several bottles emptied) were “here is your bleeped out key, don’t darken my doorstep again”. She was my transition lover after my divorce, and we were together for two years, and probably the lady I cared most for of all before and since. But a strange set of circumstances brought her ex-husband back into the picture and that was not the kind of “threesome” I was interested in.
As Kurt vonnegut said in “Slaughterhouse Five”, “and so it goes”.
By MELO
December 15, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this
I personally dont have friends i.e.women,who arent married.Guys,i do,but none that are close.Since i got married,i hang with other married dudes.If ish happens,we all married.Girls that i flucked way back, i wld never re-connect,unless iam angling for seconds and thirds.I dont need them.I wld rather cultivate that relationship,if i really wanted it,with smebody with whom i do not have an ingling of guilt.Coz i wld never come to a truism of telling my queen,u know,we slept together once,long time ago,but we just friends nowWhere will i be standing??And will i surely have her well being in mind(her mind,body and soul) to be so naive and think that,its really innocent and cool.My number one consideration as a married person wld be queen and kids.A long lost slept-with friend??? What slot on the scale and scheme of things do they really occupy??
By Foots
December 15, 2008 4:02 PM | Link to this
Raqi Yeah but why. Is it worth finding out that her husband is not okay with it as she says he is?
I understand what you’re saying, and it’s not worth it if he’s against it. I don’t even think she would have considered it if he was, most of us wouldn’t.
But because most men won’t communicate clearly if they are uncomfortable with something, I guess you have to err on the side of caution.
By MELO
December 15, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this
you’re speaking from the point of view that if it’s female and looks at you long enough, you’ll try to screw itNOPE foots,but from the point that i slept with u be4 i got married but now we can be friends again and introduce u to my wife.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this
PoppaG
I don’t think Ron Clark has the academic foundation down yet. I love the song the kids did for Election 08,and he mentioned that they have a debate class”. But right now that’s all that selling me on RC Academy.
You’ll see the options difference in what you two will want from school/education realm, when your lil poppas and/or lil mammas get here…lol..
By Leggs
December 15, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this
Stormy, your husband may seem fine w/it now, but i doubt that he really is. The mere fact that his wife is thinking about reconnecting w/a man from her past will rattle him after awhile..Trust me on that!
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 4:07 PM | Link to this
Cee
So kids ARE in the future? maybe?
She has been talking that talk again over the last couple of weeks. So, maybe…
So, maybe, it is time to babysit our niece and nephew (her brother’s kids) who are 18 month old fraternal twins. One night of two babies crying…might do the trick…I think my brother in law and his wife would like to have a date night soon…hmmmm.
I love kids, but I think that I like that ones that go home to their parents better
Seriously, we see. If we do, we do. If not, no. Maybe adopt. There are tons of kids that really need a home. Only time will tell.
Shoot, we already don’t get enough sleep.Which is what we did this weekend. We slept nearly all day on Saturday…I didn’t get out of bed until 3:30 PM and then we went to Dave and Busters in Marietta. They have a Deal or No Deal game in there for tickets that was pretty fun…Then we went back to sleep at 8:00 PM untl noon on Sunday. Went shopping at Frys on Sunday. I think that I like them better than Best Buy, they were much more attentive
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this
Mothers of daughters.
I did not know about the varieties, and lovely porcelain tea sets they sell for girls.
When you purchase a set, should it be used for play a lot, or put away for real tea parties? I have no clue about the one i got niecie.
They are so cute!
By Raqi
December 15, 2008 4:10 PM | Link to this
LOL Randy yep I know that’s how it would go down. As I stated before my friend Brian and I were truly platonic friends. Not one iota of intimate feeling did I have for him. To this day I don’t know what words were exchanged between he and my husband but all I do know is he and I are no longer friends. Brian evidently said something that Mase didn’t care for and he (Mase) ended the friend. I have seen Brian twice in the past 3 years and he acts as if we were never good friends. But you best believe I will not be giving up what I have now to try to “reconnect” our friendship.
By Raqi
December 15, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this
How to Kill A Mockingbird.
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this
@lurker..you must be sped….more than money females love attention….trust that…and yes if sex is not going on at home in a married relationship it will send the female into a tizzy…have you ever seen a cat on a lease….well thats how a female will act when married and hubby not slinging no dizzle her way…
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this
Cee
Ron Clark has a very good educational footing. Have you seen the one in New York. Almost all of those kids get Ivy League scholarships. They even get corporate sponsors so that the parents don’t have to break the bank to attend.
They are comparable to Kippways in scholastic standards. The kids go through rigorous interviews and such to attend. It isn’t easy to get in there.
Have you seen the movie about Ron Clark? Matthew Perry (from Friends) plays him. It is a TNT movie. Alge Crumpler’s brother was on their board when I met Mr. Clark back at City Hall a bout a year ago when they were doing interviews there.
By Foots
December 15, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this
melo Shoot, you were even thinking about hitting Queen’s own sister, so yeah, it might be best for you to never look anyone up, old co-worker, classmate, postal worker, etc. It’s enough for you to deal with the women you step out with now, no need to re-introduce old friends into the mix too.
If ish happens,we all married
What does this mean?
By Leggs
December 15, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this
Cemeeli, my daughter had a porcelain one and still has it. We played with it a lot. Now, I can’t get the child to have a hot cup of tea w/me.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this
@ PoppaG
Fry’s realy has the steal deals!…oh sorry i’m tellin on self, now. I have a ‘first class’ representative i shop/see when i shop at Best Buy.
If you two decide to have a babe i’m am sitting in the cheerleader section, waving, cartwheels, and all so know that even after you sit for you brothers twins that is all different when you have your OWN! There probably wont be sleep til 3:30 when baby is in the picture but it’s all worth it. You’re enjoying each other now, continue that until….
Sat. 3:30 we were at Jr. NBA basketball scrimage game.
By JustMe
December 15, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this
guesswhobackinthemuthaf’inghouse
Hey Y’all long time no blog with, just wanted to drop in a say Happy Holidays to everyone. I see most of the old gang is still here.
Hope all has been well.
B Blessed!
The real JustMe
By Foots
December 15, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this
Raqi But you best believe I will not be giving up what I have now to try to “reconnect” our friendship.
If your husband hates the dude and you know it, then yeah, it wouldn’t be a good idea. LOL!
Cheap Date Alert Ludacris is supposed to give a concert at the Hawks game on Wednesday, might be a cheap date way to see him perform.
By MELO
December 15, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this
It’s enough for you to deal with the women you step out with now, there arent any now,either,not yet…
If ish happens,we all married Married men ethics here!!.When smething happens and u hanging with single dudes,perception and not necessarily ur guilt,can nail u.With married dudes,coz u all married,u have a control mechanism in that camp.Not in a married and single dudes mix.Coz singles have their own agendas,different at times to married folks.Queen’s sister,it may still go down coz im still on it,but only with her blessing if it does.Aint that lovely!!!
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this
Foots
You haven’t taken those vows with you man yet either. It is different when we “put a ring on it”. At that point, we want you. There is still a little caveman in all of us. It isn’t about insecurity. It is more about respect. “Respect” ranks higher than love for most men IMO. Not that we don’t want love, but respect is very important. Without it, we can’t love you.
And I am not talking about Geico.
Cee
You’ll see the options difference in what you two will want from school/education realm, when your lil poppas and/or lil mammas get here…lol..
We come from families of educators. We pay alot of attention to APS (since we live downtown - near Herndon Elementary), Kippways is near our house (Lowery near Ashby station).
My mother in law taught in Brooklyn for 35 years. She is always talking to us about schools and such. Plus, I live downtown, pay a ton of taxes, I like to see where my money goes, even though I don’t have kids there.
They don’t let have lower taxes, just because we don’t have kids in there. So, we do pay attention to Washington High, Douglass High, and Grady High and their scores.
The wife volunteers at Bethune elementary on Northside (across of GWCC) in a reading program. The first thing the young male (8 year old) said is that he wanted to grow up and be a Georgia Bulldogs. He wants to read 50 books by summer. My wife goes there once a week and they read together in the library as he eats his lunch.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this
Leggs okay, ;i wanna play,…i wanna play.
PoppaG - I read about the RC Academy NY location when a gf inquired about them for her 2 kids. But i just didn’t see the same setting at RC downtown ATL. I have read about the Ivy League, scholarships, and Co. sponsorships…and i’m just not moved. I guess i need a visit/shadow day, and more literature about their history.
Kip Academy always had a mile long waiting list.
Ron Clark has a movie about him? that funny…oh wow…nope, never heard of it.
By Jamoca
December 15, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this
Cee Go Falcons! I see Warrick was all smiles at first, until the birds won it.
Hursh now!!…he was lookin’ no worse and/or pitiful than “the birds” when they lost to us before. Hmphf!
Okay, now regarding a tea set…think about that?…a porcelain tea set for a little girl?…to play with? No matter the age, I would kind of see that as major $$ down the drain. May be for decorum or to be played only with her mother. Since it would not be wise to leave the responsibility up to a child to recognize the “value and/or significance” of owning, let alone playing with a porcelain tea set, which may be an antique at that? Uh-uh…let her practice her “tea serving skills” with some good ‘ol hard plastic first.
What ever happened to the little tea sets made by Mattel??!!!! Chile, we in a recession! Come ‘on naah…
May be when she’s a little older, I would think would be best. She’ll appreciate it more…esp if having tea parties would still be “her cup of tea”. Since nowaday, it is a good chance, she may not…these children have so much to choose from these days, like the joke made about handing the little boychild some Play-Doh…he’s like really? LOL
Catcha’ll later.
By Leggs
December 15, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this
Jamoca, I started w/the plastic ones then an aunt gave her a porcelain one. No doubt it’s up to the parents to keep track of the saucers, cups, tea pot, etc. so remember that part as well Cemeeli.
By Angie
December 15, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this
good reading y’all today!
i just bought my son his first cologne set … usher. he is gonna die when he opens it. lol.
have a wonderful night.
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 4:39 PM | Link to this
Foots
Cheap Date Alert Ludacris is supposed to give a concert at the Hawks game on Wednesday, might be a cheap date way to see him perform.
I think that game is already sold out. It is on ESPN and it is Boston’s first trip here since the playoffs when they couldn’t win a game here.
Jamoca/Cee
I was happy that Dunn made it into elite status here in Atl. It seemed appropriate that he reach 10,000 yards and 500 receptions. There are only 5 other running backs in the history of the NFL to accomplish that feat. He did it with the team that he started in the NFL with (Tampa Bay) against the only other team that he played for so far (ATL).
He is a good player, but a better person.
By lurker
December 15, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this
Rell @lurker..you must be sped Must you so ignorantly reply this way with every person that don’t quite see things from your perspective? Making crass statements and name calling at the first sight of disagreeance just does not wear well. You need therapy on learning how to play in the sandbox.
By Blow Me a.k.a. I AM GETTIN MINES IN DA 09
December 15, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this
Poppa G I have researched his school and although I have no kids. I am aiming for my niece to attend. I mean its a world class education. He prepares those kids for the world and to be diversed. I think his teaching is great because he uses the kids “energy” to get them to learn. I think that is a brilliant idea. Only thing though its’ so hard to get the kids in and not only that you have to get in once you are in 4th grade from there you can not enter. Which I think kind of sucks for real!
Also…That is so true. I read that in the book “7 things your man does not want you to know” THAT was number 1# respect… It went 1. RESPECT 2. NEEDED 3. Fulfilled….In order those were the 3 things every man needs. That was definitely an eye opener. Men and Women think completely different. But it does make alot of sense.
CEMEELI I was a true southern bell in the making…I had this white iron roth tableset…4 chairs and this big short table. I would sit there with my teddy bears, cabbage patch and the RICHIE bear from Rich’s (for those who remember) and we would all laugh and have tea. I added honey to my tea too. I loved it. I played alone alot when I was younger…But I had such a good time.
By Foots
December 15, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this
Poppa So once you put a ring on it, both of your friendships with the opposite sex ceased? Dayum!! Maybe I’m looking at friendships more innocently based on my experiences with them. My male friends are married, our friendships are transparent and accessible to their wives and always platonic.
What I do see is that carrying on private friendships with the opposite sex is disrespectful and dishonest, as is maintaining friendships that your spouse obviously doesn’t want you to have or doesn’t feel comfortable with. I definitely can feel the disrespect in that.
But it would really hurt to find out that I’d have to sever ties because the caveman in my future husband finds the platonic friendships I have now to be disrespectful. With my luck, I’ll probably get the “I should be all the friend you need” type. LOL!
By RELL - BISHOP
December 15, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this
@lurker…ummm you got one in…hooray….thanks for you support
By Stormy
December 15, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this
Rell
Not looking for attention I get plenty of that, just thinking of my friend.
We had an awesome friendship that started in college and it continued for many years…until we messed it up. In college we would put our money together to split a double whopper and fries. We would share textbooks. I had the car he had the gas money. When my brother was killed in car accident he took care of me. We share a lot of history. When he met his father for the first time at age 21 I went with him. Just a lot of history.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this
@ Blow
That’s cool, you and your table settings/friends chattin’ and all..(yea, i had a Rich’s bear) Mamma worked downtown @ BellSouth bldg so she would shop @ Rich’s.
I hope neice enjoys that tea set i bought her.
By Tazzee
December 15, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this
Cemeeli - Go Falcons! I see Warrick was all smiles at first, until the birds won it.
Warrick got a nice ‘Welcome Back’ when he found himself under big Grady Jackson on one of the first plays of the game, LOL.
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this
Foots
No, but why out of the blue reach out to someone who hasn’t made any moves towards you.
As a wife, she has duties to me first before any other male. I have duties to her first before any female. Forsaking all others is part of the vows.
Now, we both have friends of the opposite sex. However, all of these friends have been continuous throughout our marriage. Anyone that we “lost”, stayed lost unless we ran across them in a store or game or something.
However, first and foremost is “us”.
I also know that with a lot of men, if the woman contacts them they start to think that they can get in there. Yeah, while dude may tell you otherwise, we know the look. Just like y’all females know the similar nature of other females. We may think its innocent, but y’all get that feelin’ and you look at us differently.
Those that had continuous contact with us throughout our marriage know more about how the wife and I vibe from seeing us together and such. Those that lost connection don’t have working in their favor. Many dudes will start think that something is wrong because the woman initiated the contact to reignite the friendship.
Sometimes, it is just one side protecting the other because we know our gender and its tendencies. Part of “putting a ring on it” entails looking out for each other and for the possibility of “wolves in sheep’s clothing”
It is all part of the from “me” to “we” concept.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this
Leggs/Jamoca…well i guess her mom will be responsible with keep up on that tea set.
My sister is a girly girl anyway so she will probably be just like what Leggs mention. Plus she has mentioned tea party for the b-day party for niece. So they both will enjoy and it’s Disney Faries or Princess and i know sister will make sure it’s keep up.
Like i tell my family all the time…don’t ask me why i bought this or that type of girls gift becuase i don’t know nothing what’s the latest for girls.
By Cemeeli
December 15, 2008 5:04 PM | Link to this
Tazzee…Yes maam. I’m still a fan, like you..hahaha…
Off to the Hawks game.
~Be good ppl.
By Leggs
December 15, 2008 5:08 PM | Link to this
Good night everyone!
Have a great evening!
By Poppa Grande
December 15, 2008 5:13 PM | Link to this
Foots/Stormy
Furthermore, how do you know that he didn’t want more than a friendship with Stormy? Hmmm? There is a reason that he let the connection go and hasn’t reach out. He knows that she is something that he cannot have. It may just be too tempting for him to stay around her. There are two sides to this thing. He could very well have feelings that he has been hiding, but now someone else has her and she is forbidden fruit for him.
Let that lie…
It also sounds like Stormy has stronger feelings than she is admitting to having.
By Jamoca
December 15, 2008 5:24 PM | Link to this
Blow You sound like me when I was a child, with all my little dolls, Winnie the Pooh Bear (the only “boy” at the tea party, and Strawberry Shortcake characters all around the table. Yeah, those were some fun times!
don’t ask me why i bought this or that type of girls gift becuase i don’t know nothing what’s the latest for girls.
Well then it’s time to find out, huh? Another good idea is to add an educational gift in the mix, like a deck flashcards to spread about to her cuddly friends, (yeah, I did that too..) So I guess it would be safe to say I will not be looked at c0ck eyed if the young lad winds up with a drum set or a pair of symbols, since I’oun know naythin’ about the latest for little boys? hehehe… *I’m just messin’ although I believe some folks purposely get my girls the most disturbing and loudest gadgets for them around this time of year! And I can’t stand it! LOL
…and I see you and Tazzee gonna keep on with that, huh? Ya’ll ain’t right.