Misadventures in Atlanta

By HR Lady

December 2, 2008 8:39 AM | Link to this

Every man has some BMIs—even if they appear very confident. I get a lot of unwanted male attention based only on my appearance, and I’m not a snob, so I will often acknowledge a respectful, “hello”. But, oh my—if my boyfriend is around, he pouts and sulks. Or, says something like, “I see you made a new friend”. It was just a “hi”—I never knew that random man! It drives me bananas. I can’t do anything to get him to stop being so insecure. He’s also insecure in bed. If I don’t have more than one org or its not intense, then I did something already, or I’m not interested in him at that moment. Guys out there, please don’t do this to your girl. I don’t like to stroke egos. Learn to be more confident, maybe a even bit arrogant. Women won’t admit it, but we often keep chasing that man who seems like he can “take you or leave you.”

By Michelle

December 2, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this

Good Morning,

A man with a small package is insecure! LOL!

By Dan

December 2, 2008 9:02 AM | Link to this

Insecurities? What?

I have things that I fear in this life: being attacked while unprepared, hieghts, flying, etc. but if you’re asking for an insecurity list, you’d have to be a little more specific.

I’m not understanding.

By Le Siren

December 2, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

I’ve always wondered if a man’s BMIs are tied directly to his sexuality. When a man cannot please a woman sexually or he has a less than average sized penis, it seems as if he tends to be overly agressive, arrogant, and feels the need to flaunt material things. Has anyone else found this to be true?

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

Do you all remember me saying that there are some things about my husband and our relationship that I wouldn’t dare speak of? Those things that he tells me in confidence or I have come to learn about him? His BMIs fall into that category.

We all have those things about us that we lack confidence. A good partner will not use those insecurities for exploitation or belittling.

My friend Doc advised me a couple of years ago to accept and embrace my man’s uncertainties, so to speak. No one is perfect.

I have no desire to tell anyone of those things that he reveals in dark of the night or when he is feeling most vulnerable. I uplift him, stroke his ego and keep my relationship in tact.

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

December 2, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

This one is going to be interesting.

Only one point I will make, and then I will sit back and just lurk in the shadows…the male ego is the most fragile thing in the world. Period. End of story. It is what it is.

Women are attracted to confidence. The best way to achieve that “confidence” is to step out of one’s comfort zone and “go for it”.. Not talking just about sex either, I am talking about “asking for the order” in all of one’s life. When a male discovers that success comes more often than he thought, and that getting shot down does not mean that life as he knows it comes to an end, then he goes into each new adventure with the confidence that success or failure is better than being a bystander.

By For Real

December 2, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

Wise I thought we agreed that men and women think differently. Thus, your definition of insecurity and reality… umm I mean a man’s definition of insecurity are not the same. So, if you want a discussion and not an amen session from the ladies, please define what a BMI is because I have never heard of that before and I have been a man for a long time.

By Sassette aka Kym

December 2, 2008 9:11 AM | Link to this

Good Morning,

I am not sure I follow this topic so I will lurk around until it changes or a more indepth discussion develops.

By For Real

December 2, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this

Maybe this will help.

in·se·cure - Medieval Latin insecurus, from Latin in- + securus secure

1: not confident or sure : uncertain

2: not adequately guarded or sustained : unsafe

3: not firmly fastened or fixed : shaky

4 a: not highly stable or well-adjusted b: deficient in assurance : beset by fear and anxiety

By Sassette aka Kym

December 2, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

the male ego is the most fragile thing in the world. Period. End of story. It is what it is.

This I will amen on. Hi there RandyT.

By Jay

December 2, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Simply put. Raqi is the reason men settle down and get married. Michelle is the reason they don’t.

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone!

I know of one man who’s “pkg” is small, but exudes confidence and knows how to work w/what he has.

We all like our egos stroked, but a man needs his acknowledged and fed in the most subtle ways. Flattery is not what they’re looking for, rather respect, acknowledgment and appreciation.

By Sirius

December 2, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

A lack of confidence and passiveness are indeed unattractive traits and I’m at a loss as to how to deal with them. Although he has many fine qualities (which I must focus on) I’m finding after 4 months that I’m beginning to feel awkward and clumsy with my man. My own confidence seems to shrink a little more each time we’re together. If I don’t initiate, he gravitates.

The potential for a long-term relationship is not looking so good at this point. Any suggestions would be most helpful!

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this

Oh good, i’m glad you weren’t asking folks BMI right after Thanksgiving eating…whew..

Hel-lo!

December already, the end of 2008, it has been quite a year!

this is gonna be an interesting read today.

By ATL Guy

December 2, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

G ’ Morning!

This topic is a bit generalized and vague.

Being a guy, my insecurities would probably fall with the fear of failing. I’m competitive at career and competitive at life. I just don’t handle failing well. Everyone will have their moments though.

Insecurities with dealing with females…don’t really have many. Maybe just when I can’t get a read on them or figure out what they’re thinking…makes me second guess sometimes.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

ForReal I don’t think she is saying it is one particular thing or the other. Just merely insecurities do exist and how do we handle them in relationships.

I lot of people go to great depths trying to conceal their insecurities and some people wear them openly. Either way they can affect a relationship. And how we choose to deal with them or not makes the difference.

By RELL - Staceye J Fan!!!

December 2, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

Let me first say Happy Bday to staceye….hope you have a happy one love…..ooo yea and to my favorite white gul…..Brit spears….i love that chick

ok now on to the BMI…lets see i am was once insecure about alot of things growing up…FIRST…my head was bigger than my body and i have the will smith ears…so i had to endure the head and ear jokes…so i figured the chicks would view me the same way..so i covered up that BMI with comedy….i got my skills up on making folks laugh….thats a gift and a curse sometimes…that also lead me to read alot on relationships and talking to women…and i still do it to this day…somewhere in my crazy mind i still feel folks will pick on me about that…so i am always on guard…crazy i know but hey thats me…never really had an ego….i can view both sides of an issue well…and i learn more from losing then i do winning….and i could go on…lol

By For Real

December 2, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

Raqi I wouldn’t take Mase’s doubts or concerns about a few issues as lack of confidence or him being insecure. He just hasn’t figured out how to solve the issues or handle the consequences of the issues or both. If he is like me I look at the worst possible thing that can happen and make plans from that point. That way I’m never surprised (well almost never) by the consequences. But I hate being suprised. It smells of not being prepared.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

Sassette how was Florida vacation lady?

iRaqi Did you cause “damage” over the weekend? Shopping?

By Sirius

December 2, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

ATL Guy….David, is that you??

By Dan

December 2, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

beset by fear and anxiety

See, and that phrase right there is why I don’t understand what you’re talking about Wise.

Since I was a kid I was taught to confront what I was afraid of, be it the dark, heights, flying, etc. And to this day I still have fear and anxiety but I have to get past it.

Are you asking us what we fear?

By Big Juicy

December 2, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

I have a great way to deal with a man’s insecurities. DON’T deal with them…

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

i can view both sides of an issue well…and i learn more from losing then i do winning.

Rell ^ That’s stock.

By For Real

December 2, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

Sirius Can you give two examples of your dude’s lack of confidence and passiveness?

RandyT I have to disagree with you on the male ego thing. An ego or anything for that matter is on fragile if it is not built on a solid foundation. A man should go thru things in his life that will build his foundation for who he is. If a woman or anything else in the world is able to break him, then that man was just puffing his chest.

For Real is amazed at how much free time he has this morning.

By Sirius

December 2, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

I have a great way to deal with a man’s insecurities. DON’T deal with them…

LOL!! Love it!

By ATL Guy

December 2, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this

ATL GUY aka Derek

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

December 2, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this

Hi Sassette aka Kim. Good post as always Raqi

Glad to see so many of the long timers are still here.

By Brian Hunt

December 2, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this

I guess everyone has their own insecurities, but I think that the difference in the way that men and women tend to deal with those insecurities is that men try not to get emotional about them. In the end, every man wants to be logical. I can’t worry about how I stack up to my significant other’s other relationships because those relationships were not perfect. If they were, she’d still be in them. The fact that she’s with me means that it’s my time to shine, and I have to do everything in my power to take advantage of opportunity and fail or succeed on my own merits. I think that the best thing we can do for each other as men and women is to let our partners know through words and actions that we are not evaluating them based on other people, but soley on their individual strengths.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this

ForReal I know that. But those simple concerns or whatnot are not what I am talking about. I am talking about much deeper issues about him, about us, about his past and yeah, our future too.

I am talking about those conversations that start out with “I have never told anyone this but…”. I have told him things about me that I am insecure about. Some he had already detected and some he was surprised to know. We all have them.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

Sirius…Demask please.

Lol For Real i have more free time cause i worked like a crazy person yesturday. i’m chillin now

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli Giiiirrrrll I shopped until he dropped. I had about another 3 hours of retail fuel in me but he couldn’t hang so I had to call it a day.

By C tha 1

December 2, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this

I gotta agree with ATL Guy this topic is pretty vague…and I share the same fear…failure. If that rubs a woman the wrong way then fine, I don’t need someone who settles for mediocrity. I don’t like failure period! Whether its failure at completing an objective at my job, playing a video game, getting the girl I set my sights on or whatever. I consistantly evaluate myself and give myself a reality check to make sure I’m on point. I don’t think that’s dwelling on my insecurity as I merely remind myself to not make the same mistake(s) twice. Where I’m from that’s the first step to being a winner.

By RELL - Staceye J Fan!!!

December 2, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this

@ForReal….i feel you dude..but we dont get the wisdom going in we get it going out…so yea we all have knocks to our ego..its just the way we handle it….women can knock our ego…easy…come on now…think about your first true love and how that ended…mine tore me up for months and she forever help me bury that simpin i had in my blood well her and the rebound chick i meet down here…after that it was fluck a bench..my ego was bruised and i healed it thru various womens leggs…i coverd it up with being obnoxious and brash….and having a cavalier attitude about women in general…feel me…and i can still revisit that place based on my goings on in my life..i built it so i can live there at times

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this

Brain Hunt i love that post. Absolutely agree!

By Foots

December 2, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

Raqi Those things that he tells me in confidence or I have come to learn about him? His BMIs fall into that category.

Exactly. I’m beginning to learn what these are for my man, just like he’s learning mine. Like you said, those things would never see the light of day. There are things that are private between us that never even had to be qualified as “private”. You just know.

That being said, I’m learning to accept those things as a part of him. I make sure he knows I appreciate him when he does well, and that I don’t blame him when things don’t go perfectly. I make sure he knows that he is able to please me when he tries and that he makes me laugh. I’m much better than I used to be about those things.

By Dan

December 2, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

@For Real

That not an ego in the phsycological sense, that’s a front.

A man’s (or woman’s) ego, is their identity in the sense of self. So if someone could break that, woooooww

I think Randy’s talking about ego in the sense of the facade that people use as a defense mechanism, the “super ego”. The personality that is “on top” of who one is to protect one’s true self.

In the sense that my arrogance expects the world to conform to me (not me to it), I don’t really have a super ego to speak of.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

Brian Hunt Very well stated.

men try not to get emotional about them <—- That right there is the biggest difference.

Men do have their vulnerable days and if they have enough confidence in you they will allow you to see into their guarded world. That has been my experience.

By The Truth

December 2, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

Good morning folks.

I too don’t really understand the topic. I guess thats because men look at their shortcomnings as a part of the world while women look at theirs as the whole world.

With that being said every guy would like to be smarter, stronger, better endowed, faster, or whatever it is that he sees fit. The insecurity part appears when he dwells on that want.

Insecurity comes from a lack of experience or an inability to deal with things not comfortable.

Ego is a mans shield. A man without some type of ego is the man you women say you meet with no drive, fight, or spirit. It takes a certain mindset for a guy to think he can slay a buffalo or run a home or business. He’s got to believe that whatever comes his way he can handle. That comes from life lesson and good teaching. It can be learned but its not easy. You have to be able to get as much from a loss as a victory.

The worst thing you can do is grow up in front of your woman. Not pretty.

By Satoria Lynn

December 2, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

Good morning Dan! So it is true. Men take a subject that makes them feel uncomfortable and throws it back to make the deliverier/woman rethink her question, feel guilty for asking or regret asking at all. Thanks for confirming this for us. LOL.

Raqi I just got engaged. Yippee! We’re best friends and we tell each other everything. He has told me things that make him feel less than a man. I take care of that situation with no problem. ^5.

Happy Birthday Staceye!

ATL Guy Where you been?

For Real What you wrote to Raqi is all fine and dandy, but you should stop making up excuses. You laid out definitions for yourself to read. Take it in and be more positive about your BMI’s.

I love an imperfect man.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

Randyt where the heck have you been? Good to read you again.

By For Real

December 2, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

Raqi I bet those “I have never told anyone this…” convo’s deal with failure. A man’s number one fear is failure. Now fear and insecurity are two different things as Dan has posting. Now, failure can come in different shapes and forms: Marriage, Friendship, Job, Sex, Being a Man, Fatherhood, Life etc…

But none of those things have anything to do with insecurity. Worrying about somebody talking about your big azz ears, well that’s insecurity. What up Rell.

For Real now handing Rell 2XL Earmuffs.

Cemee I’m calling your boss and telling them you have some additional bandwith.

By Foots

December 2, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

Sirius If I don’t initiate, he gravitates.

What does that mean?

And what is wrong with failure? Granted it’s not the desired outcome, but it is how we learn. In order to ride a bike, we had to learn how to balance, and in order to learn to balance, we had to fall a few times. Everything we do well, we had to make adjustments to get to the point where we do it better. Failure is not what I fear; I fear not learning the lesson that failure brings. I agree with Rell 100%, i learn more from losing then i do winning…

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 2, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Wow…this topic its home to a dilemma that one of my friends is having. Let me grab a pepsi and I’ll comment in a sec. Its gonna be a long post!!

Morning Err’body!!

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

Congratulations Satoria.

Happy Birthday Staceye.

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

Anybody want GA Tech tickets to tomorrow’s game against Penn State? I have 2.

By ATL Guy

December 2, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

Satoria whats up. I’ve been in Europe … yeah its been months since I’ve seen this Blog! Back in the “A”

C to tha 1 Hear ya Man. People that Settle I will never understand. My personality is always striving. Want to put in the effort to hold the top spot and coming up short would be a fear. At this point, only person that could stop me is myself from reaching my ambition

That goes for many people, but excuses tend to get in the way

By brunson

December 2, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

i can admit that i was once insecure about my my relationship. i felt lauren could have had her pick of men, any guy would be priv’d to be her man. so why me? what made me so special and/or different? well she and i had a conversation about 2 yrs back and she set me straight on it and i haven’t had any concern since. she actually felt the same way about me. she felt that i could have had my pick of women (at one point i took advantage of that) and wasn’t secure in why i’d chosen her as my lady.

things like this can easily be resolved when discussed. we both could have allowed insecurity to fester and grow and who knows what would have resulted from that. maybe we wouldn’t even be together today. communication is the principle thing.

By mytwocents

December 2, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

What a great topic, WD. Hope some of our gentlemen friends can let themselves be vulnerable enough to share openly. But you know, even acknowledging the comprehension of a concept may show too many cracks, so…

Funny how when it comes to sizing folks up, the focus will be mostly be on the parts of a man you can’t see (in the streets) and the parts of a woman you can. Size iss always gonna be a factor but it seems to matter most when used as a weapon to hurt each other. Have a lovely day, all.

By Foots

December 2, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

You have to be able to get as much from a loss as a victory.

That needed to be in bold.

By AmazonRed

December 2, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

Morning all!

One thing I like about this blog, folks insecurities become a bit transparent. It’s refreshing to a degree, though the denial is not. LOL.

Everyone has insecurities, and guys are no exception. I think you do have to deal with the situation delicately. A lot of time their insecurities are in direct conflict on what they think a “man” should be.

By Dan

December 2, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

@Foots

You’re right, we build on failure. The difference is the shape that building takes. Is it fear of failing again (causing reduced risk taking) or is it figuring out what happened and accepting responsibility (watching for the signs next time).

@For Real

What scares me and what motivates me are definitely 3 different things.

@Satoria Lynn

I was asking for clarification (and apparently I was not the only one).

It’s a communication issue. I think overall women live in this bubble of insecurities and y’all try to put us in them too. But for the most part, men have things that we out and out fear, as opposed to neurotically worrying about them.

By Foots

December 2, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

Congratulations Satoria Lynn! Love is a many splendored thing!

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

I must agree that we don’t look at our flaws as insecurities. Many of us realize that as humans we are imperfect. Those who dwell on their imperfections comes across as insecure.

We MUST believe that we can handle whatever life throws our way. Furthermore, we need to know that the people in our lives are with us and not against us. That last thing that we want or need is to be a Julius Caesar-like victim of betrayal.

HR-Lady this probably explains your mans actions when you speak to other men. We are slow to trust other men because we know how we are.

Honestly, I think Truth hit the nail on the head with his 9:44 am.

Satoria Lynn

Congrats!

Staceye

Happy 21st Birthday….again..lol

By RELL - Staceye J Fan!!!

December 2, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this

@pg/truth…there are alot of insecure dudes out here….we can suga coated anyway we want but we know what it is….we all have been there…i am not following you guys this morning

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

Why so angry, so early in the morning?

Lol - Mo girl bring that post on! And slide me a drink too.

Ms. Lynn Congrats on the engagement.

By AmazonRed

December 2, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STACEYE YOU BOMB AZZ SAGITTARIUS!

Congrats on your engagement Satoria Lynn. That’s awesome!

By The Truth

December 2, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

For Real A man’s number one fear is failure. I think this is changing as men get waterd down. I’ve NEVER in my life heard dudes say things like I have in the last few years.

Raqi/Satoria there are some things I would never tell a woman. I don’t want to share my innermost feelings because alot of times my feeling is “I don’t give a fugg”. LOL

Satoria Men take a subject that makes them feel uncomfortable and throws it back to make the deliverier/woman rethink her question, feel guilty for asking or regret asking at all. A good one does. Listen, you’re asking someone to captain the ship and then trying to tell him what to think about while he does it. Thats not a good fit. I’ve never been so in “tuned” to a chick that I want to address all her concerns. Hell, your a big girl, go process than on your own.

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Congratulations on you engagement, Satoria Lynn!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

December 2, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

OMG Thanks Rell!!! LOL Yeah Brit and I share a b-day! In honor of that her new song “Womanizer” is my ringtone for today. After that is goes back to Erath Kitt’s, “Santa Baby”!

Raqi You dragged Mase out when he was still in his turkey coma knowing men can’t hang wiht us in shopping??? That’s just just cruel! LOL I LOVE IT!

Congrats Satoria Lynn!!!! You set a date yet? I know…too soon huh? Oh…and thanks to you and Raqi!

Poppa Thank you. Yes 21 is going to be a great year! Who knows….maybe I’ll get it right this time! LOL

By Dan

December 2, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

@Rell

I know a few insecure guys, and I have never understood it.

It’s not that you fear something or worry about a fault that you think you have, it’s 1)dwelling on it (like PG said) and 2)not confronting and attempting to fix it.

If you stutter or have a lisp, accept the fact that sometimes people may not understand you - but don’t stop speaking.

The difference in insecurity and not

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

Sherlock k.a. PoppaG aren’t you suppose to be studying?

Cee now handing PoppaG Law School survival kit

• PSP - Madden Library

• Family Size Doritos

• A knife

• Stress ball

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 2, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

Satoria Lynn Congrats chica!!

On topic:Ladies, have you ever dated someone with BMIs that challenged your relationship? How did you handle it? I tried to be as supportive as possible and it backfired. I ended up coddling him instead and he became dependent on me always being their and making it (the situation) better. I am sure there is a fine line between support and coddling but at that point I hadnt found it. I discovered way too late that I couldnt fix his insecurities, no matter how hard I tried. That was just my situation…

Ok guys I need your advice on this one. I have a friend that is younger than I that just broke up w her BF. She is a college grad, has her Master’s, is working on the PhD, has her own spot and a successful career. BF was a college grad, hadnt been able to break into his field quite yet (they are in the same field of work), ambitious and had a successful career just not at the level he’d like. Long story short, he breaks up with my girl citing that they are in “2 diffrnt spaces and dont have time for each other” and goes on about her working on her PhD, etc. Now my friend isnt one to throw things in peoples faces in terms of her accomplishment and she has been (from what I have seen) very supportive of the BF. My question: what gives? Is this an example of insecurity talking and if you arent being belittled by your SO then what is the problem?

By For Real

December 2, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

Rell We are saying the samething. Men.. well people period have to build a foundation a.k.a live life to learn who they are as a person.

Dan I agree with about the ego thang. I don’t have an ego I have me and there is absolutely nothing in the world that can break me.

Satin Lynn Congrat on the engagement. I laid out the definition bc women think content is a bad word. Meaning, women change the definition of words to fit their emotional state. No excuses I know I’m not perfect but insecure. Nope! I know who I am.

Raqi What are we talking about insecurity or vulnerability?

Foots You are absolutely correct about failure. This is why men fear failure:

Boss: Dude come into office.

Dude: What 4?

Boss: I need to talk to you.

Dude: Why we can’t talk in my office?

Boss: Just come to my office.

Dude: Okay.

Boss: Dude we have to let you go.

Dude: What? I been working for this company for 6 months!

Boss: I’m sorry but I have no choice. Now you will not be getting severance and you can pick you stuff up at the security desk. These big azz security dudes will escort you to the security desk.

Dude: Dayummm I have lost my job. Let me call my baby Passat. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring

Passat: HELLO!

Dude: Hey baby.

Passat: Oh hey baby why you calling me so early in the day?

Dude: Baby I los

Passat: click

Dude: Hello, hello, hello… signal must have drop. I’ll talk to her when I get home. Walking up to his house pulling his keys out I can’t wait see my sweetthang and my babygirl they will make me feel better. WTF is wrong with my key? Knocking on the door Passat! Passat! open the door something is wrong with my key. Oh hey babygirl open the door for me something wrong with my key.

Babygirl: MAMA THERE IS A MAN AT THE DOE!

Dude: MAN AT THE DOE! Girl open dis doe! I’m your DADDY!

Babygirl: No you ain’t cause my daddy got a job!

By Michelle

December 2, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

Le Siren, Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am dealing with that RIGHT NOW!!!

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Happy Birthday Staceye!

Lol…this blog is hilarious!

By Angie

December 2, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

what a sensitive topic.

the first time i seen my ex cry is when i left him. i would have loved to see more of that side of him.

this hampers on a man’s manhood. there has to be a better way to discuss their BMI’s without being straight forward with it. you know how sensitive they are. they must be what truth stated above at all times. if they happen to break down one day, ego stroken is what they need to replenish that mishap. ain’t nothing wrong with it, but will i want to see that side of my man? h3ll yea!

my question is, why will he think less of himself if he lets go?

i admit, there are women out there who would call a man a biitch or puddy if he attempted to show this side of him. those women should be let out to the woods, shot and killed.

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

Rell

I really don’t think that we view ourselves as insecure. I think we are unsure at times…but insecure isn’t the word that I would use.

Most men that I know think of how we get to we plan on getting to where we want to be.

Examples of how many men’s minds work:

1) Christmas morning, man is putting together a toy for his kids, and he doesn’t look at the instructions. Most men look at the box and look at the pieces. From there we try to make those pieces look like that picture.

2) We are driving, and don’t ask for direction. We want to figure how to get from point A to point B ON OUR OWN.

Just like those examples, life is all one big problem solving puzzle after another. Life hands us puzzle with some missing pieces (our flaws) and we have to make them into something that we want (our goals).

Sure there are some fear. After all, we are human. Fear does not equal insecure. Whether it is fear of failure or fear of heights, it is a flaw. Fear is not insecurity, at least in most men’s minds.

Men only have three real purposes on this planet (1) to protect, (2) to provide (3) to profess (as in “affirm” or make “allegiance”).

By Angie

December 2, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

hi Staceye! your first drink is on me. happy birthday!

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

December 2, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

Hi Raqi, and all

I’ve been out of town, out of state, out of country, for most of the last year and a half. I have to think a moment to remember what time zone I am in on any given day. One knows one is spending too much time away from home when one gets to recognize the same immigration authorities from previous trips. In town for a few weeks then probably back out again.

I have a few more t-shirts, LOL, but all are good when one learns. Life is good. I do miss the blog, Musing’s comic relief, and some of the others in those times when I lurk from the UK or wherever I am. Did Muse drop out after he got hitched?

By The Truth

December 2, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

Rell you processed ol girl as simpin you and thats cool. When I was younger I gave myself the opportunity to do stupid things because thats where I was mentally. If a chick beat me for $50 or a meal I thought to myself thats the cheapest lesson I’ve ever had. It’s all how we process things. When I’m new at something I’m SUPPOSED to make mistakes. I don’t beat myself up for doing so.

Staceye HAPpY BDAY. Bring it over here so I can rub it.

Mo your gf ran up on a dude that just realized he’s outclassed. He couldn’t find value in himself to trade with her. That chick has more game in that arena than he does. He really did them a favor because she was going to eventually resent his inability to do what she could quite well. Sounds bad but it happens.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

For Real you are thupid!

Lol @ Passat Passat…babygirl said her daddy has a J.O.B.!

Ya’ll are a funny bunch.

By Dan

December 2, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

@For Real

Thanks but that was Freud and Jung, not me.

But I’ll ask Raqi (and the ladies) the same thing, is it insecurity or vulnerability?

@Mo

Sounds like it. He’s p** becuase he’s not competing on her level. But if she’s allowed him to wallow in self pity (i.e. “being supportive”) then this is the outcome of that.

What was her response to his bytching? (Cause he was simpin’ just then)

Another dude would’ve put on and kept working harder, kept competing instead of throwing in the towel. Dude’s a quitter

And, Mo. It’s actually good that she knows this now.

@Satoria

Allow me to add my congrats!

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Cee

Sherlock k.a. PoppaG aren’t you suppose to be studying?

Yes…I am actually at school studying. I will only two days between Dec 1 and 15. One of those days is the day of the Holiday Luncheon …so I won’t really work that day either.

I am at a point of mental fatigue and I am pacing myself now. I gots to be sharp for the real test. I’ve done plenty of practice test, and learning from my mistakes.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

i just tied my first tie. innanet is wonderful! my son has to wear a dress shirt and tie to school for the game tonight. he came to me with those eyes and long lashes asking for help. i made him do a search. presto! lol. he look so handsome.

By Doc Jet

December 2, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Penis Envy

LOL, just kidding. Seriously though, as a man I will say that I have had to work very hard to address my issues, and at the ripe age of 35, I consider them under control because of two key accomplishments:

Financial/career success and personal achievement at educational goals

…I have always been good in bed and must admit this carried me for a while…

…now I’m a monster!!! LOL

By Sassette aka Kym

December 2, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Cee Florida was so GREAT!! I miss my fam already. We are already planning next year’s cruise and I am going to Cali to visit my cousins in July. Universal was fun..pricey but fun. We shopped and ate and ate and shopped. It was just wonderful!!

By Doc Jet

December 2, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Penis Envy

LOL, just kidding. Seriously though, as a man I will say that I have had to work very hard to address my issues, and at the ripe age of 35, I consider them under control because of two key accomplishments:

Financial/career success and personal achievement at educational goals

…I have always been good in bed and must admit this carried me for a while…

…now I’m a monster!!! Anybody wanna go for a ride? LOL

By Doc Jet

December 2, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Penis Envy

LOL, just kidding. Seriously though, as a man I will say that I have had to work very hard to address my issues, and at the ripe age of 35, I consider them under control because of two key accomplishments:

Financial/career success and personal achievement at educational goals

…I have always been good in bed and must admit this carried me for a while…

…now I’m a monster!!! Anybody wanna go for a ride? LOL

By For Real

December 2, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2E’S!!! HOW ABOUT A GAME OF NEKKED PLATONIC TWISTER TO CELEBRATE???

Rell I don’t believe anyone is saying insecure men don’t exist.

Truth Sad to say it but you are right.

Mo I don’t see how you get her going for PhD has anything to do with him breaking up with her. I see it that ole boy knows she will not have anytime and will become very boring (PhD/job is all that will be on her mind) so he cutting his losses and moving on.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

Mo…Remember this line? - “He gon cry when he get in the car”. That’s all i could think about when i read about your friends dilemma. sorry. that drink you gave me has me on some other stuff

I’ve done plenty of practice test, and learning from my mistakes.

Ah, PoppaG.

The same with “Life’s Flaws”. We all have ‘em, it’s what you learn from them that matters.

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

Cee

I meant to say that I am not working much the first half of this month. One of the two days that I do go into the office is our holiday party/luncheon, which will be at the High Museum. We shut the office down at lunch and meet down there. We exchange gifts and afterwards get to see the Terracota Army. Conveniently, the party is the day AFTER my last exam.

I am at school because the Wii has been calling my name. That darn Wii Tennis has gotten me hooked, and I feen for it when I am home. So out of the house, I go.

I HATE Doritos, but I do have a nice box of Dunkin Donuts’ Munchkins…I love them.

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

Angie, men were taught not to breakdown in front of anyone. It was looked as a form of weakness. When a man is comfortable enough in his relationship and is secure it’s much easier for them to show their vulnerable side. Just like you stated if they happen to break down one day, ego stroken [sic] is what they need to replenish that mishap. If by ego stroking you mean showing them love and understanding, then yeah, you’re on point.

Staceye, as I already stated to you earlier, you enjoy this day. Happy Birthday!!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

December 2, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

Thanks ARED…my fellow Bomb Azz Sag!!!

Mo It sounds like your friend’s ex was jealous and feeling a bit less than a man! Why is it a man is ok as long as he is doing better than you (financially) but of the tables turn..he goes from babe to b*tch in less than 60 seconds?

For Real LMBAO! You are a hot mess!

Angie Hey girl. I have created a new drink that I like to call a Biohazzard. I had everyone at my friend’s wedding last weekend drinking it. After a few of those and hanging out at the vodka slide..I was dancing all night!

Truth Oh you so nasty! LOL

By Petty Cash

December 2, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

My man and I were warming up for some s3x before work this morning. As I held him in my hand, I closed my eyes and made a wish that he would get bigger.

If he had just a bit more length and a tad more thickness, we would go from pretty good s3x to really GREAT s3x.

Unfortunately, my wish did not come true.

By RELL - Staceye J Fan!!!

December 2, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

@MO…what truth said….i think the same way

@fellas…yea your right i get it now…we just playing with words….

@pg….i keep all my instructions and system books…i asked for direction….i LOC - Listen, Observe, and Comprend everywhere i go…sometimes i practice METT and i take my UNIFORM assestment…cant help it….during my time in the corps i was part of AIR/NAVAL gunfire…or Forward Op….so i pay attention to detail….lol..

By Dan

December 2, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

@For Real

I think he already resented her success - by him bringing it up as the cause.

He should’ve just said “I feel bad for not being able to hang with all you’re doing, so I’m ending it”

Would’ve been more honest.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

That naked Twister is…oh, nevermind…

is it insecurity or vulnerability?

Dan either trait is noticed. It’s how that man’s woman handles it, is the difference. I would neva, eva say my man is too vunerable/insecure about this or that. Hellz for all i know he could just be having a bad day, and don’t give a flip who knows how he feels about this or that. SOmeone said earlier = Don’t deal/meddle.

Sassette Good to hear you enjoyed Universal Studios, and you all were in a much warmer climate over the w/e. As you know it was rainy and then cold here. Oh yea, your lil Steelers won too.

So did the Falcons!!!

By Willie Dynamite

December 2, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

Morning All,

Lets see Flaws, insecurities or whatever label you want to put on it as Men we all have them. How you deal with it more often than not tends to make or break you as a Man. Stand up dudes dont have a problem telling there WIFE (not GF/SO) their innermost concerns. In a dudes mind his wife has earned the right to deal with it and handle accordingly. A standup guy knows what ails him and makes the necessary arrangements to deal with it. It may not be the right course or a short term solution but he deals with it. Its all works in progress.Some figure them out before others and some like Mo’s friend BF just cut and run.

By Sassette aka Kym

December 2, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

PoppaG I have a final tonight and two next week. Oh yeah and I still have not finish my memo that is due Thursday. sigh It will get done eventually.

By mytwocents

December 2, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

My suspicion remains that any confusion this topic breeds comes down to semantics.

The D How can being supportive equal allowing dude to wallow in self pity? If she’d have done like Passat, then she’d have been trife. Everybody’s different, so in your world, what is the right thing for your lady to do when you are UNSURE about anything? Silence and just listening, without encouragement to stay the course nor any attempt to help channel you to other paths? Basic inactivity until you do or don’t make a move while she just sits there looking crazy at what could be your futile efforts? Cuz you can do that without her.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

PoppaG you HATE my beloved Doritos!? hmmph You’re a hater…j/p. Actually they get me through some stressful times.

…please don’t say the Luncheon at the High Museum is on the date of Dec. 13? *That’s our Christmas Party date. Our department luncheon is on the 19th but we’re only going to Maggianos*.

Hi Angie.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

i appreciate a man being a man, BUT it’s gotta be tough sometimes to keep it all in. why don’t they want us to witness their sensitive side? this has got to be the reason for hiring a prostitute and all he does is talk to her. i do get it though, i do understand.

By Dan

December 2, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

@MyTwo

I require a stiff kick in the toucas because I’m often prone to bouts of laziness and complancency, and the woman that gets me gets that about me.

If you allow a man to wallow, he will. A woman will too.

Darn all that “assuaging the ego” mess. Sometimes, telling someone you care about (or hearing it from them) that “you’re flucking up” is necessary in my worldview. Everything else is enabling to me.

My thing with Mo’s girl’s guy is, she should’ve seen the signs of him moping around anyway.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

What up WillieD? How many plates did you have bruh?

I’m soley here for entertianment purposes.

By Dan

December 2, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

@My2/ Mo

dude was prolly doing little passive/aggressive stuff too.

Like:

She come home, he expect her to fix/pick up dinner;

The house dirty, and he don’t mind, or other little stuff.

He sounds like a punk to me. JMHO

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

Sassette

I am done with legal writing.

But I would have loved to trade with you. I kicked azz with that legal memo last year it was only like 13 pages.

For this semester, I had to do a Motion for Summary Judgment and a Brief Supporting said Motion for Summary judgment. Together they were about 36 pages.

I am now re-reading my case briefs to remember that reading from August, September, October, and November. There were so many cases, that i have to use to support my arguments.

My mental fatigue is leading to a shorter than normal attention span.

By The Truth

December 2, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

Petty Cash lmao.

Off topic: This Plaxico thing has morphed into a real circus. Flucking mayor talking about putting a guy in jail for 3.5 years for some bs when they can’t catch the crooks that are out there shooting people while committing crimes. The guy slipped up and shot himself. He’s embarassed like hell. Let it go. He’s not likely to be go out and rob someone.

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

Yeah, I’m w/you Angie, I too wonder why it has to always be held in just about all the time. I have a longtime friend that would pour his woes out to me. Had to tell him he was using the wrong shoulder! Told him although he’s extremely comfortable w/me he needs to share these things w/his wife! A few days later he thanked me in that it has been a long time since he had a truly heart to heart w/his wife. I know what I DON’T want to be a part of.

By Doc Jet

December 2, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

Penis Envy

LOL, just kidding. Seriously though, as a man I will say that I have had to work very hard to address my issues, and at the ripe age of 35, I consider them under control because of two key accomplishments:

Financial/career success and personal achievement at educational goals

…I have always been good in bed and must admit this carried me for a while…

…now I’m a monster!!! Anybody wanna go for a ride? LOL

mojetter(at)gmail

By QC aka Santa's Helper

December 2, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS STACEYE

Have a great day all…stay warm!

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 2, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli girl Im gonna need one of those drinks!! :0)

For Real old dude mentioned that as the reason. She got her Master’s while they were together and was helping him out with some stuff he needed to do as well. That was his reason not hers. To my girl’s defense, she has always made time for what she wanted in life whether it was a relationship, jobs & school, etc. Just wanted to get some perspectives. I may have her to lurk for a while. She says that he started acting funny as soon as she said she was going for her PhD.

Happy B-day Staceye!! Here is a 12 pack of pepsi!! :0)

By RELL - Staceye J Fan!!!

December 2, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

@truth….plax is on that narcotic….i mean this cat gets turned away at the spot..then he goes and gets is hookup(jewels,cash,gun) goes into the club without the safety on drops the gun then shoots himself….i am like why?…..here is the thing he knew what the deal was….gap tooth said on the fox show the cops come to training camp and let them know about the gun laws in NY and he did not break the law for having the gun…in NY you can have an unregistered fire arm in your home…but this fool out in the general public with it…PLUS this is a mandorty sentence..so if they buck on this one then they have to revisit everyone locked up for the same charge

By SexyCool

December 2, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

raqi*…you always put it down…i agree that i will not address coach’s specific insecurities…

however…i will say that what bothers him about himself, does not bother me a bit…

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

mytwocents

Nah, I found this candy/cane streetlight ova here on Licorice Street. have some

Truth…while you’re over there ke-ke-keing. You got my blender?

Christmas is in 23 days.

By The Truth

December 2, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Angie its not about holding anything in. Most of the time men dont “feel” anything to relay to you. Whereas your emotional elevator goes to the 20th floor a guys goes to about 4 or 5 and then theres just a big open space. You wanting a man to function on a level that you can identify with is like me wanting you to grab your nuts and spit out some tobacco. not gonna happen.

We spend more time looking for a logical soltution than wallowing in the thought of it. At least most do.

By mytwocents

December 2, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Satoria All the best on your forever…

Staceye If you didn’t have too many, can you recall what you put in the Bio beverage?

Leggs Hope your party was/is fabulous!

Aren’t there a bunch of y’all in here? Just have a big ole Sagitarrius blow out. Not sure what other sign shares December, (Capricorn?) well throw them in too.

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

RELL

@pg….i keep all my instructions and system books…i asked for direction….i LOC - Listen, Observe, and Comprend everywhere i go…sometimes i practice METT and i take my UNIFORM assestment…cant help it….during my time in the corps i was part of AIR/NAVAL gunfire…or Forward Op….so i pay attention to detail….lol..

That is actually good. I know way too many men who do not use the instruction book (at least not at first).

Most men have to get to that point.

I, too, use instructions and Rand McNally for driving directions (he..maps are what they do so whay no consult them.) Mainly because, I don’t have time to figure stuff like that out.

Cee

I am a plain jane kind of guy (I get my burgers plain with all condiment on the side..I wanna see what they trying to hide).

I don’t like all that cheesidue on the chips. If I want cheesidue, I’ll get some Cheetoh puffs.

I have one exception, I love those doritos with lime stuff on them.

I think that the firm Christmas event at the High is on the 12th (I know that it is a Friday).

By Angie

December 2, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

it could be that we actually caused this to happen. i blog all the time about wanting a protector, tall man hovering over me. keeping me and fam away from harm. the superman effect. if i’m thanking him and telling him and bragging about how he does these wonderful things …

he’s prolly thinking, i can’t let her/them down. i’m a man dammit! without really knowing it’s ok.

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

Leggs/Angie

Crying about issues does not change anything. Action does. After that cry, the issue/obstacle is still there.

Why not use that energy to do something positive? For me, I clean or work on something like a car. That way something still gets done, while I am sorting through things.

Furthermore, we are taught that the world doesn’t care how we feel and are raised as such. Then, we are supposed to be different when we meet a girl. Not happening.

Only a wife, gets that information. Like Willie D said, more often than not, girlfriends don’t get that information.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

hi cee, mytwo! blog hug

truth i wish i can send chewy’s cute lil azz to you for two weeks. he is off the chain with the barking, biting my toes, jumping on tables.

brb. going to get my hair done. i think it’s time for a touch-up. a lil nappy.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

Flaws and insecurities are not the same. Not everyone is insecure about their flaws. And admitting what your insecurities are only in a time of vulnerability is what I am talking about. Most people, especially men, aren’t that quick and eager to state what they are insecure about. However I have found from experience that when some are in their most vulnerable and exposed state they will bare all. Heart and mind. And most will allow themselves to be that open with someone they absolutely trust. Someone that will not hurt them. Intentionally I must say.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

Hot dawg at my new word.

Cheesidue

Server: Maam, would you like fresh parmersan or asaigo on your salad?

Cemeeli: No thank you, i’d like some cheesidue?

rotflol…PoppaGggggg…hahaha…what the message is cheesidue?

We still family if you like those mystery lime Doritos, they are good. But they only come in big bags.

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 2, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

PoppaG cheesidue? That is funny!

To the men of Blogsville, thanks for the responses so far. Keep in mind that my friend and her now ex-SO are younger like b/w 25 & 27. But I appreciate the info that I can relay to her incase she decides not to lurk.

Dan he broke up with her, my girl lost it sorry to say. She was p**, she didnt get dramatic but she did get the potty mouth. She felt blindsided, but I agree that maybe she ignored some signs (however I dont know).

By RELL - Staceye J Fan!!!

December 2, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

@angie…men cannot be your girlfriends….men cannot be your girlfriends..what you want is a girlfriend that p** standing up..not going to happen

By Dan

December 2, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

@Angie

That’s cultural training.

As a young boy you’re taught (hopefully) that the world don’t owe you nothing, you got to get it yourself.

So what begins as me getting mine, evolves into protection of my family and loved one - be it physical, financial, spiritual whatever.

And it’s a lot of responsibility to accept, some men can and some can not.

But what it comes back to is the individual. Can he stand on his own two, do what needs to be done despite the super ego bruising (working at McD’s), or does he cut and run.

I say this from my life experience as I’ve seen both sides of the coin.

I don’t judge either man as less or more - it’s a matter of choosing how to live one’s life.

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

December 2, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

I would not say that vulnerability and insucurity are necessarily related except for the fact that when a man is secure, he is less afraid of showing the vulnerable side.

Vulnerability becomes an issue if the other party is in a position to use that vulnerability against you. During the waning years of my marriage, I realized that I could talk about personal issues to my friends, to my coworkers, to whatever “personal assistant” I was having lunch with…but not my wife. I never even realized this until she brought it up one day at a time when we were trying marriage counseling that I could talk to everyone but her….that when we would be out with other couples, she would hear me tell them things she did not even know. When I thought it over I realized that she was absolutely right, that none of the others could hurt me…but she could, and the trust had eroded to the point where deep down I did not trust her to not use that personal side to injure me. I suspect that the best of all worlds is to find a partner that one trusts enough to reveal all of those fears, and hopes that all carry inside.

By the way, for the record, years of being single have cured most of my insecurities totally. Living through successes and failures, evaluating each, and taking risks cures insecurity.

By Foots

December 2, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

Mo My question: what gives? Is this an example of insecurity talking and if you arent being belittled by your SO then what is the problem?

I think he’s insecure, but at this point, it really doesn’t matter why dude broke it off. All that matters is that he has made up his mind that he no longer wants the relationship. Whatever reasons he gives are attempting to rationalize it so that she can’t dispute the breakup. The only thing she can do is continue to live her life and succeed. He’ll be back once he feels he’s where he wants to be and then she’ll have a decision to make.

I remember several years back, I was thinking about a PhD, just rolling it around in my head. I was excited to think I could do that, so I told my then boyfriend. He shot it down and said “What about me? You won’t have time for me.” Keep in mind that he was a contractor in Texas on assignment and had been gone for about three months. I knew right then that this man would not be the kind who would be supportive of me, no matter how much I was supportive of him. It was fine as long as I was propping him, but when I needed his support, all he could think about was himself. He showed his panties that day and I couldn’t help but see them. We didn’t stay together long after that.

Your girl dodged a bullet here. She’ll have to decide whether to keep dodging it when he comes back.

Truth He really did them a favor because she was going to eventually resent his inability to do what she could quite well.

Absolutely.

Dan It’s actually good that she knows this now.

Positively.

For Real LOL @ your 10:25!

By The Truth

December 2, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

Angie it was necessary for evolution. Until the last 100 years or so a guy had to go out and hunt and kill just to eat and feed you. I promise you didn’t want him catching a case of feelings while he was about to spear your meal. That same lack of emotion translates throughout his life. And if a dude does bond with you on some deep rooted emotional level check him out. You probably have alot more in common than you want to.

He’s usually not hiding feelings, he doesn’t have them.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Mo…do you remember what i quoted? she must not lurk Lol.

By mytwocents

December 2, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

Dan Wow. Well to me, poo-pooing/assuaging folk at all costs is a whole other beast. So we’re back at getting caught in semantics. I’m thinkin the only options are 1. Uplift and encourage him to press on, expressing support of decision or direction. 2. Tear him down, emasculate & confirm he ain’t neva gonna be… 3. Barely digest what he’s shared and remain oblivious that he’s reaching out, hence she offers no safe harbor.

Cee Don’t know what kinda candy cane concoction u stumbled upon but u can’t just pop any ole thing in ya mouth they say taste like candy, girl…

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

Cee

Those mystery lime doritos are the ish with some fresh salsa (we make our own or we buy La Mexicana Salsa from Publix). They may make you cut somebody, if they try to take one.

Cheesidue is something that I heard on TV. I think that comedian Rich Hall used to make up words and have a dictionary for it. Cheesidue was one of his words. I cannot take credit for it.

By The Truth

December 2, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

Foots that story you shared about your bf goes for friends too. When I was at the pen and started going to school to get my real estate licenses I was amazed at how many of “my boys” didn’t want me upsetting the cart. They wanted me to stay right there and shuffle crooks around for 20 more years. I realized that everyone you hang with isn’t necessarily a friend, and that goes for mates too.

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

my2, my party is this Saturday…thank you. Hope it’s fun as well!

PoppaG, yes crying won’t change the outcome. However, all women would like to see that their man can show his sensitive side every so often. There’s nothing wrong w/crying. Now, to be a wussy wuss all the time is a whole new anthill. If you need to cry, cry then show your manly side and handle your business w/me helping as much as you allow me to!

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

Truth

*You probably have alot more in common than you want to.

He’s usually not hiding feelings, he doesn’t have them.*

I agree with those words for the most part.

Those dudes that show a lot of emotion are usually confused by them. Hence, you hear the stories of men killing women when they try to leave them. Those men let their emotions get the best of them because they were taught to control them and as a result they couldn’t control them.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

December 2, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

For Real You are a certified nut! LOL

Petty cash girl wish on a star! LOL

Truth Plaxico was just stupid…why carry a gun when you got body gurads to do that for you? And cleaning it…at a club? That is jinky dude!

By Foots

December 2, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

Truth He’s usually not hiding feelings, he doesn’t have them.

He does have feelings, but sometimes he doesn’t even know what they are. I’ve asked my boyfriend “What are you feeling?” and he can say with all seriousness “I don’t know”. So I learned to ask him what he’s thinking. He usually knows that.

It’s hard for most men to describe the particular emotion that’s there, while it’s easy for women. If you look at all of the emotions listed on sites like MySpace to describe what mood you’re in, I doubt if most men know what 25% of them mean. No slight intended, hellz, I’d probably have to look a few of them up myself. Its just that women are trained to put emotions and feelings into words and men are not. So he could be feeling something and not say it, because he doesn’t know what to say. And if women can understand that and leave it alone, he’ll figure it out in his own words eventually, which will probably lead to him just discussing the problem. We can figure out the rest.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

mytwo….okaaayyy. Ah, i’m having chocolate carmel instead.

Shat up! PoppaG it must be a native thang cause i buy that same gotdangit La Mexivana salsa from Publix. With that buy, i’m not making my own salsa unless it’s pineapple salsa with those specialty chips i buy.

By For Real

December 2, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

Angie: Baby I want us to connect on a deeper level.

Dude: HUH?

Angie: I want us to be best friends and be able to talk about our feelings openly.

Dude: You want to have sex or something?

Angie: No! Silly, I want a deeper level. Tell me something about you that you haven’t shared with anyone. I’ll start, When I’m alone sometimes I like to blow snot bubbles and then bust them with my tongue.

Dude now brushing his teeth with bleach.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

Wise Diva I will now go to check my BMI.

Happy Lunch Hour everyone!

By The Truth

December 2, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

Plax haters ok, so he shot himself so now lets go through a lenghty and expensive trial then let the taxpayer pay $40,000+ per year for him to be jailed. Sure his actions were stupid but jailing him for years ain’t the answer.

By Michelle

December 2, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

Where are all of the REAL MEN in the ATL located?

By Newbie07

December 2, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

I met a man at work a couple of months ago, you could say he met me in my Clark Kent attire…conservative, glasses and hair pulled back in a pony tail. When we first decided to go out, outside of the office he saw my vamped up look - hair down, contacts in and body fitting clothes. All of a sudden he couldn’t handle the new look unless, I was hidden away behind closed doors. What is that all about? You should be happy, that your woman is trying to look good for you. And if other men look be happy…worry if they don’t!

By Sirius

December 2, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

Wow, now I remember why I stopped posting on message boards….too much too keep up with. My boss finally decided it’s lunch time now I am swamped trying to keep up with the responses to the responses.

For Real You had asked for examples. The more I think about this, I would have to say that sexually speaking, the lack of confidence results from lack of experience. I’ve learned over the years that I need both dominance/submission in bed, along with the sweet lovin’. I think some people perhaps just don’t have it in them… Dunno…. Also, if I don’t make the first move…to even kiss, it doesn’t happen. Did you ever just want your partner to grab you and kiss you like it will be your last? PDA’s….he has no problem with them, but again, he does not initiate…not even hand-holding. ~ sigh ~

Cemeeli Demask? Here??

Foots If I don’t initiate, he gravitates. Translation: Kind of like what I was describing above…he recedes, pulls back. He’s mentioned he doesn’t like to be too forceful or come on too strong. I’ve even mentioned the things that I’ve listed above. Insert yet another ~ sigh ~ here.

By For Real

December 2, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

Foots “What are you feeling?” That question is the second thing men fear the most.

Foots: What are you feeling?

Dude: Thinking to himself and brevin hard I shoal would like to bend Foots over the back of the couch and rip her pants off and tear thru her panties with my wang!!!

Foots: Honey?

Dude: Oh ummm I don’t know?

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

Leggs I understand what women would like to see, but women gotta understand that we aren’t taught to handle our emotions like that. We are taught that is wrong to cry.

My point is, though, that boys are taught not cry when something bothers them. “Walk it off”, “You’ll be okay” or my personal favorite “stop crying before I give you something to cry about” are all things heard growing up. So we go through life being told not to cry or be emotional. After a while, we learn to live that way. Some men even learn to thrive that way.

Then all of a sudden, we are expected to change. It is unfair to expect such a change. We don’t know how to control such emotion in that manner.

Furthermore, many men feel ashamed after been seen crying. Many men think that the world sees them a weak. You friend probably came to you instead of his wife because he wanted her to still see him as strong and not weak. We are conditioned to believe that it is a sign of weakness.

Dallas Cowboys Wide Receiver Terrell Owens still gets picked on for crying after losing a playoff game last year. He was showing support for his quarterback and his emotions came out. But that cry was played over and over on TV, and it reinforces that men aren’t supposed to cry.

As a result, women ask for one thing, and society is telling us another.

By Willie Dynamite

December 2, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

Wassup Similac, I had enough trust me. Hope all was well with you and yours and glad to see you made it back safely.

Foots if women can understand that and leave it alone, he’ll figure it out in his own words eventually, which will probably lead to him just discussing the problem. We can figure out the rest. That statement right there causes most people to either stay or leave. We are indeed simple creatures.

By Foots

December 2, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

Truth I realized that everyone you hang with isn’t necessarily a friend, and that goes for mates too.

That’s true. I asked my mother a few more years back what is one thing she would advise me to change about myself. She said that I needed to be more supportive of other’s dreams and just listen sometimes instead of trying to poke holes in them. Her advice helped me be a better friend. Even if I think that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard, I have to find it within myself somewhere to be a good friend and support their dreams.

By Dan

December 2, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

@MyTwo

What I’m talking about is as always knowing your partner/SO.

Different people require different motivations from different people in their lives.

Some of my homeboy’s couldn’t tell me “you flucking up”, my uncle can’t, and scattered azz can’t neither.

It’s the people in your life that you trust to look out for you, to have your best interest at heart at all times.

So, knowing that person is knowing how to motivate them, help them realize their own drive - becuase in the end, that’s all we can do.

@Truth

You learn that lesson about friends (or crabs in a barrel) when you start going for your’s.

Cats be at disinfection everyday.

Started when we were younger and teasing the “nerd” that dared to do homework or study for a test.

Ain’t no different as a grown man

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

That’s most of what I was saying in my 10:53 PoppaG. Yes, I know Terrell Owens still gets picked on.

As a result, women ask for one thing, and society is telling us another. YOU NAILED IT. It’s not really the man and woman clashing, it’s society and the woman trying to alter what basically is almost set in stone!

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 2, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

Foots I co-sign your 11:42 and I told my friend exactly what you said in the first part of that post. I just wanted to get a male perspective. I have a male best friend so I have someone I can get that from but she doesnt. Like I said, I hope she is lurkin and can see some of the responses, otherwise I’ll just relay the msgs.

PoppaG/Cemeeli whats this talk of chips & salsa?? Never had those Doritos or salsa ya’ll jaw-jackin about.

By Sirius

December 2, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

For Real I like to blow snot bubbles and then bust them with my tongue.

Anyone else ready for lunch? :p LOL!

By Dan

December 2, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this

@Leggs

The elephant in the room is:

Like ole dude from your story, if he’s having feeling (and Randy T hit it) he’s telling somebody, in the case that you’re in a relationship with someone that isn’t sharing that info, then they may not trust you enough to.

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

Exactly Dan. But since he is married he should be more comfortable talking with her than me. Therefore, everyone should recognize things quickly and nip what needs to be nipped front and center.

By Foots

December 2, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this

For Real You stoopid! LOL! But I agree with this===> That question is the second thing men fear the most.

The old Foots would been like “How you not know what you feeling?!? You feeling it, right?” and that would have led to ultimate silence. The new and improved Foots is more like “Oh, okay. What channel does The Dog Whisperer come on?”

By Michelle

December 2, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

For Real.. You are DAMN FOOL!!! LMAO!

By Dan

December 2, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

@Leggs

I was speaking in general terms as well.

Like to throw lil nuggets out there, never know who needs a word.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this

Dan and Leggs IMO we tend to open up to those who make us feel welcomed to do so. If you have a mate that treats all of your concerns as a burden to them or is extremely judgmental and you can’t trust them, then no you will not feel free to bare your inner person.

Foots and ForReal I have learned not to ask the “what are you feeling” question. If I sense something is bothering him I either ask “what’s wrong” or I approach him with a calm stroking of the hand, arm or head and say “what’s up” all nice and caringly. And yes I do practice that and get at least a piece of an answer the majority of the time.

By The Truth

December 2, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

Foots It’s hard for most men to describe the particular emotion that’s there, while it’s easy for women. If you look at all of the emotions listed on sites like MySpace to describe what mood you’re in, I doubt if most men know what 25% of them mean. I have a very few emotions that I go through.

Cool: Dont know if thats an emotion but it pretty much sums up how I live my life.

P**: Self explanatory but ANYTHING is likely to happen with this one, and has.

Happy: You called and said you’re bringing over some azz.

Very calm: You came and I did too. Now is a good time to ask for xmas gifts or anything you’ve been wanting to ask. LOL

Thats my emotional spectrum. Anyting other than that and I’d have to ask for a definition.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

WillieD U know i’m over here on some other foolishness….i been heavy watching the black movies these last couple days, and when I tell you after coming up for air from laughing so hard at Eddie, Katt, Bernie Mac and Day-Day from Friday…i’m hungover.

Mo Doritos has a lime flavored chips. They are in a black mystery bag. The salsa is in the deli of Publix = La Mexicana Salsa. get the hot flavor.

Cee now trying to figure out why a co-worker thinks it’s okay for them to put their hands in my head?!?

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 1:11 PM | Link to this

Dan/Leggs

I never said whether it right or wrong for dude to talk to Leggs instead of his wife.

I don’t know how his relationship is with her. How is she? Unfortunately, it isn’t as simple as it sounds.

There had to be a reason that he brought his issues to Leggs instead of his wife in the first place.

Sometimes, it is a issue of convenience, not trust. We all get busy (both male and female) at times with our own concerns and forget to be there for others from time to time.

There has to be two parties to a conversation - A talker AND a listener. This means that not only should he go to her, she must be available for him. Not saying that she wasn’t. But the facts as giving, doesn’t state either way.

The facts stated that he had gone to her before but for some reason he didn’t this time and used Leggs as a surrogate instead. So, no conclusion to whether trust issues were there or not can’t be deduced from that.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 1:18 PM | Link to this

QC hey love!

By MELO

December 2, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this

because they were taught to control them and as a result they couldn’t control them

i hate it when i cannot comment on a topic at length coz im busy. I agree with Poppa there and would add that u have to know how to address ur shortcomings in order to hide them.Maturity and life-learning a lot of times will do the trick.A guy must have other trusted guys that he talks to and learns from.If ur circle is small,then ur’e bound to want to shoot ur girl if she decides to walk coz u cannot address ur emotions and are not learned/experienced enough to realize/know that u can alwayz get another.Everybody does have insecurities,men and women, i agree.Its how we deal with them that matters.If my wang were to suddenly refuse to recognize that the Mrsis is nakked and needs attention, i would be stressed to a point and wonder who would service her delicious bountyilicous booty(hmmm,i luv her behind!!!),if not me.But i know, i can alwayz rely on the Doc and her remedies(mine is a lady, i chose her so she can give me female perspectives and torture her a bit when i get nakked).

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

LOL Truth you just gave me a good idea. Imma buy some emoticon stickers and have M place one on the bathroom calendar every morning and evening to indicate his feelings for that day. That way I wont have to ask nor will he have to go thru the dreadful act of having to verbally express himself.

By Wise Diva

December 2, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

hey everyone! I got stuck at my polling site with car batteries, been reading along, wonderful discussion you had this morning!

Hey Randyt!

By Brian

December 2, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

ugk,, Emotions, emtions, Like a lott of guys, I was blessed to have both my father and grandfather in my life,, I learned alot, ex. father losing a job not being able to purchase son football equipment track equip, to how my family is majority women.. and they leaned on them for that emotional suppt.. It seems like the old school way is better than this new era sissyfied way of sharing your every thought, emotions and crying… Only insecurities that I would have are not being able to suppt my future family.. and thats fixed by working hard, grinding it out… There are too many male model, over sensetive guys out there.. women keep asking for Mr. senestive and u will be looking for next BF at bulldogs… lol

By RELL - Staceye J Fan!!!

December 2, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this

@Newbie07…some men have never had to manage a beautiful women..and when i say manage i mean there emotions….charge him to the game now or end up on the news…that type of behavior speaks of emotional immaturity….if he focusing on that small detail of you…he not focusing on the rest of you…the stuff thats going to keep you….i dont get some dudes with nice looking women…they still bleed like the rest of em….she not special….they just jedi mind trick themselves into thinking you are….i am sure your cute..but dayum..

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

Raqi/PoppaG, both of you are right. I listen and criticize less. He’s more comfortable getting things off his chest w/me because I’m not his wife and I’m not judging him. There isn’t any “sparring” going back and forth. I recognize why he comes to me, but feel some of these issues his wife should know about and I told him so.

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

December 2, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this

Hi WD

When are you rescheduling that trip to NY? Now is a great time. Cold but really decorated during Christmas…and the people are friendlier than normal ;-). Keep me posted.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this

Foots I think we have to accept what we get and be happy with that. But you know the more time you spend with that special man person you learn his actions that disclose his feelings.

Like now when he comes in the door and I hear his keys hit the desk or the floor somewhere in the vicinity of the desk and hear a muttered grunt of “hey” or “evening” or whatever else it should get translated to, I pretty know he is in a foul mood.

Or make a b-line for the couch and let out an echoing sigh. That usually says “I’m tired and frustrated”.

Then we have the “feed me” as the door slams shut. Means I am hungry and nothing else matters right now.

Last but not least the happy man. There are many variations of him however they all are accompanied by a cheerful face, a fanny pat/pinch or neck peck.

By RELL - Staceye J Fan!!!

December 2, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

@LEGGS….most marriages lack effective communication….its like this…no one likes to be told they have an ugly baby….the truth hurts…feel me….and here is something else…folks know when they are acting out or up….but guess what they like it and will continue to do it because they can….better or worse…and its not written that the better comes first….

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

Guess you changed your mind Rell since I still haven’t received your email address.

By Michelle

December 2, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this

Preach Raqi!

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

December 2, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

As has been stated several times today, a man’s biggest (actually you can probably say “only” and group all together) insecurity is about ‘failure’. My father died when I was 7 and crying was NOT an option, particular in the area I grew up in.

Now I am extremely comfortable with my masculinity (get high ratings from past/extremely lovers, that helps the ego), career is great and know if I lost my job here, I could land somewhere else tomorrow…so I am very “secure”. Now I can express my feelings anytime I desire. Used to be just “Ole Yeller”, now “Roller Derby” and “wrestling matches” make me tear me up something awful, LOL.

In all seriousness, as Papa Grande suggested earlier, if a man is going to show emotions, he is taught and best dayum sure do it in private…talk to God and yourself…and God doesn’t tell anyone.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this

Attention: All Cooks let’s make a pact.

Tonight there will be not another leftover turkey concotion; turkey w/ gravy, turkey sandwich, turkey salad, turkey soup, turkey crouqettes, ect. We will prepare an entire new meal fresh from stratch. Wah la —-> Pasta, steak or seafood dish.

All in favor say, Aye.

By Michelle

December 2, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this

Randy T… Hmmmm.. Where do they make your kind?
Totally feeling your comments! Real LOVES Real!

By RELL - Staceye J Fan!!!

December 2, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

@leggs….dwilliams2022@hotmail.com

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

Aye, that’s why I didn’t cook a turkey this year.

One thing I do know Rell, is a lot of marriages lack communication. The writing is on the wall for most that I know. Even applied to my own marriage. We all need sounding boards even if its not from our SO or wives.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

rell you are right. as i was driving, listening to some light jazz, i thought to myself there can only be one sensitive individual in this relationship. men cannot be my girlfriends. got it!

dan i see your point! thanks.

randy we were trying marriage counseling that I could talk to everyone but her you straight now right? i’m happy for you.

truth i guess what i’m getting at is that i want both worlds. i want him to be THAT man, but connect with me on the level i’m on. men are from mars and women are from venus. got it! lol.

for real you doing ok?

By Michelle

December 2, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

On the NO MORE TURKEY.. I say Aye!! Actually, I cut the turkey meals out on Sunday.. :)

By Shaw-T Lo

December 2, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

What’s poppin’ folk?

My insecurities are few and my confidences are strong.

Hope er’body had a great Turkey Day.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli Aye, for the team however what little bit of turkey we had left after Thursday got gone Sunday morning when M made turkey hash for breakfast.

We are having lasagna and salad for dinner.

By For Real

December 2, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

Foots It’s good that you have developed that skill. A man’s first reaction to an intense emotion is either anger or laughter. Why? Not really sure maybe a defense reaction. Thus, talking right after such an emotion is not the first thing on our mind. If men do not get angry or laugh at an intense emotion the “I don’t know” statement means we haven’t decided if we actually care about what just happenned but we know it ain’t funny. Example: Did you see the movie The Happening? Well it was about people losing their desire to live and commit suicide. Well this one scene shows this jeep speeding towards tree. The jeep hits the tree square and the kid flys out of the front window. My gasp! Me, fell on the floor laughing my azz off.

Raqi Can you sense that something is bothering me. Anyway, I’m in need of some calm stroking. I think 50 strokes should be enough.

Newbie07 You spoiling his pented up liberian fantasy. Puts some dayum clothes on.

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 2:15 PM | Link to this

Yet, depending upon the depth of the conversation, it should be w/your SO or wife.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 2:16 PM | Link to this

Leggs what kind of meal are you thinking?

I’m thinking of getting my crumsnatcher a big fat steak, red potatoes, cream spinach, or brocoli and cheese, and a peach cobb.

By Dan

December 2, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

Knowing all that about your man comes from wanting to learn, being observant, and letting him own his emotions.

One of the biggest arguments that I have with the women I date is know when: when to leave me alone, when to stop playing, when to shut up, and when I want to have sex as opposed making love (and there is a difference).

Very few women (and men) take the time to get to know their partners and non verbal cues like that. Even after years.

So Kudos to you!!!

But I’mma need you to get that outline together, I’ll help you write the book. It’ll make Millions!!!!!!!

Be all on Oprah and the whole nine!

By Angie

December 2, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

raqi you just described our happy years. i remember greeting him at the door or having a bath waiting for him … ready to listen how his day went while i undressed him and took off his boots. the prison stories were unbelievable.

the pirates are at it again. this time, a cruise ship out ran them.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this

Lol Raqi I told the bookclub we have to be carful making those favorite meals for the growing tweens and teenage boys cause we do want them negroes to move out when the time comes.

Turkey hash…gotta try that.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 2:21 PM | Link to this

cee fried chicken, asparagus and leftover mac and cheese.

By Foots

December 2, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this

Raqi But you know the more time you spend with that special man person you learn his actions that disclose his feelings.

That’s true. It takes me having to put aside “me” to pay attention to “him” sometimes and figure out the things that he says without even opening his mouth.

Cute example: I usually stay over his place on Monday nights after class. So this morning, instead of having to search for a towel when I went to take a shower, when I went in the bathroom, he had already laid one out for me. I saw “I was thinking about you” written all over that towel. Such a simple thing really made my morning.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

Knowing all that about your man comes from wanting to learn, being observant, and letting him own his emotions.

Dan yeah that and being being stuck living in the house with him for the past 3 years.

LOL Just kidding. But seriously though some things just kinda have a way of growing on you. And his end of the day entrances have done just that. I will go so far as to say that the anticipation of his arrival home for the first couple of years made learning his homecoming emotions a lot easier.

Yeah I said it. I looked forward to him coming home and still do. Who got a problem wit it?

By Dan

December 2, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

@Foots

Question: while that made your day, in the instances where the towel was not there, what was your feeling about that?

Were you thinking he doesn’t care, or did you even notice?

By Michelle

December 2, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

Raqi, Only if all men read between the lines when their girl does sweet things like that.. My ex used t think that all that I did for him was what i was SUPPOSED to do.. NO.. It was because I was thinking of you..

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

Angie NO leftovers. mabye you can slide by.

HOw you make your macaroni? If it ain’t baked in the oven with that layer of cheese over the top then you’re off the team.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli Girl, turkey hash is the way to go.

After you’ve had the Thanksgiving day meal, then the turkey sandwiches, then turkey salad there’s not much left so you scratch and scrape all that is left on the bone and make turkey hash.

Nothing goes to waste in my house with two growing boys. And now M.

By Sassette aka Kym

December 2, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

Disclaimer—This is a vent

I am really starting to think Men are the weaker sex.

I know a dude(He Who Must Not Be Named)who is to sensitive to express what the sam hell he wants and then pouts because apparently I was suppose to guess. Then there is the shake if off period of not saying a damn thang-as if he is punishing me. This is not a good look..free your mind..dude..free your mind.

Vent Over

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

I bbqing some ribs tonight w/corn on the cobb and broccoli. That’s all. Not too heavy and not too light!

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

”…ready to listen how his day went…” Now I didn’t say all of that Angie. LOL

I saw “I was thinking about you” written all over that towel. Exactly Foots.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this

another thing i’ve learned from this blog is to stop asking questions.

what do you want for dinner?. he honestly doesn’t give a fluck. just feed him.

what are you thinking? do i really want to know? lol.

what are you feeling?

why won’t you talk to me?

what’s wrong?

why are you so quiet today?

sometimes it’s better to not ask. an argument won’t break out and everyone enjoys good sex and gets a good night sleep.

and if he heads to his man cave. dont follow him! lol.

By Shaw-T Lo

December 2, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

Ragu

I’ve said it once and now again, gurl u’s my photo-type. Mayne, you keeps me in the dating scene, I’m looking for yo clone. LOL

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

December 2, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

Thanks Michelle

Nine years of being single, doing what I enjoy at my job most of the time, and relatively secure in who I am and where my next meal is coming from helps. With contentment comes confidence, with confidence comes the ability to be “real” and be who and what I decide on any given day that I am or want to be. So for me, being “real” is easy. Now could the rug be jerked out from under me, sure, a bad report from the Dr., a message that someone I love is gone, etc., but in the mean time, I can be “real”. Life is good. Again, thanks.

By AmazonRed

December 2, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

Ragu? LMAO.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 2:47 PM | Link to this

cee i use truth’s recipe and i love him for it!

i use sour cream, heavy whipping cream, three cheeses, alotta butter hehehe, salt/pepper.

yummy.

By Foots

December 2, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

Dan I notice everything. But to keep my sanity and his, it doesn’t affect me when he doesn’t do it, but it makes me smile when he does. Things like that are pleasant surprises only. It’s like when I remember to fill the water up in the iron for him (he irons in the morning). I’m sure he appreciates it when he goes to iron and it’s full, but he’s never complained when I forgot to do it. Like I forgot this morning.

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

December 2, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

@ Angie, re: 2:43pm

Good post and right on the money. In the last relationship I was in, the lady never got the wisdom that you just wrote.

What women need to somehow absorb is that: 1) my mood, quitness, etc., PROBABLY has NOTHING to do with you, it is my problem, give me my space to deal with it, whether it was a crappy day at work, ATL drivers, etc.

2) men are by nature fixers…WE have to “fix” our own problems…and sometimes we need time to reflect, to chill out, to organize in our own minds our plan of attack.

It is simple…it USUALLY is not about you…let us deal with (and meet us at the door with a negligee and a pitcher of martinis always helps if feel you must do something LOL).

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

Angie What’s wrong with asking what he wants for dinner? If I have nothing in particular in mind his input helps.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 2:56 PM | Link to this

Angie I gotcha, i know about the sourcream version. Remember, that all Truth knows how to cook. You sweetie, have not answered.

Does your macaroni and cheese have that gooey layer of cheese over the top?

Cee trying to guage your “team” status right now.

…okay Raqi i will try turkey hash. You’ve sold me on the idea.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

randy lol. i remember one night, he was on his way home from work. he worked the 2pm to 10pm shift. i just felt or got this feeling that he needed me. i put the boys to bed and as soon as he hit the door i wore him out! lol.

will this do?

By For Real

December 2, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

kym If I respond to you then everyone will know it is me you talking about and you will think I ain’t still mad at you. You know what you did. Why I got tell you. But I ain’t talking to you so I guess you will have to figure it out. And stay on your side of the bed tonight too!! And that sound your puddy makes when it’s ready will not work tonight either!!! And just because you can suck a golf ball thru a 25ft waterhose doesn’t excuse what you did!! And just because you can put both your legs behind your head and stand on your hands and swing back and forth, still doesn’t get you out the dog house!!! How cares that you can gargle Purple Rain the extended verison without swallowing or having a gag reflex!!!! Who cares that you have an extra ordinary ability to shell peacan with your puddy!!!! And so what you don’t mind if I miss the puddy 27 when we during love making!!!

I’m still mad at you!!!!

By Sassette aka Kym

December 2, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

Cee I will be making Amish Friendship Bread this year. I think I will do my starter tomorrow. So that I can start baking next week, then I can have another batch for Xmas morning.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

Angie/Randy

Angie learnt that dealing with her boys. When the lil dudes get home and they go straight to their room and don’t ask you to pick up the fridge and pour it in their mouth. Then, you know stay your lil happy self out his way and let dude have some cool down time.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

“…give me my space to deal with it,…”

Yeah Randy until yall want to be held. And you know that yall do sometimes. LOL

You come snuggling all close up to us taking our arm throwing it across or around you. We ain’t gone call you out when you doing it…but yall like to be held too sometimes when things aren’t going good.

Don’t worry we ain’t telling nobody.

By The Truth

December 2, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

Angie what joint did he work at?

By Angie

December 2, 2008 3:08 PM | Link to this

raqi mine always said what ever you want. in eight years, he never answered me. if i were to say how about tacos? he would say that’s good everytime. there were days where i came home to a homecooked meal. i guess it was his way of making up for it.

cee i think so. lol. alot of my cheese is stirred up in it. whatever cheese is left goes on top. you should try my yams. delic.

MLL come on out of hiding! lol. imma call you in alittle while.

leggs have fun saturday!

By Sassette aka Kym

December 2, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

For Real You are a fool!!!

This is not about dude being mad. What the heck do he have to be mad for? He made a bunch of comments expecting me to catch the hint. Hell, I am 36 years old..I don’t have time to catch hints. Just say what you want..and if I can fulfill the need then I will oblige. But noooo!!!then wanna act brand new because I didn’t catch said hint. Alhigggtttt, you be brand new I am going to Disney World.

Grown a* man—-close mouths don’t get fed

By Angie

December 2, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

truth he works at san quentin right now as a Lt. he started off at the tracy prison.

i heard he promoted to captain, but he denies it. we all know why. he think he slick. don’t worry, i’m not taking him back to court.

By For Real

December 2, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

Foots: Okay baby I’m leaving for work. Call me at work.

Dude: Okay baby but you I can’t hear ish in that truck with dem dayum dogs barking.

Foots: Oh yeah I forgot. Well I left the ironing board and iron ready for you. Oh and don’t forget your nose plugs.

Dude: Okay baby. Dayumm that gurl is a keeper. Let me get my azz up and ion dis uniform. Ish, fug… I forgot to put dem uniforms in the dryer. Hell I guess I will wear a dirty one. Sniff, Sniff Dayummm!! Not that one… Sniff, Sniff that ain’t too bad. Let me ion it. WTF!!! That heffer used all the water in the ion again. Inco, incra, selfish azz. That’s alright, now I don’t feel bad about make her sleep on the side of the bed I pee’d on.

Foots in her car on the way to work..

Foots: Sniff, Sniff, Whew!! I must have wasted some pickka juice in the car.

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

December 2, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

Thanks Blogsville! My friend said that she lurked for a while and she appreciated some of the responses to her situation. Also she got a few laughs! :0)

By Michelle

December 2, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

Kym.. What’s up with dudes on that mess? I have a dude right now that is NOT messing with me cause he is “sexually frustrated” with me??? What?

By Foots

December 2, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

Angie mine always said what ever you want. in eight years, he never answered me.

Then you learn to give them two choices like kids: I was thinking about cooking either chicken or fish. Which one you want? Narrows the choice of anything in the world down to two entrees, doesn’t require a whole lot of thought on their part, and gives you the satisfaction of giving them something they could possibly want. If he says “Neither”, then it’s on him.

By MELO

December 2, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

Hey Truth lol..lol..u knw what i mean..heheh.Its wild…wow.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

i think so. lol.Cee now has the gas face —->…alot of my cheese is stirred up in it. whatever cheese is left goes on top.

Angie’s is off the team…until…

Ah, Mo/Foots?Ared we have an opening. Cee has a good feeling yall got some hidden cooking skills. —-Submit your resume please.—-

Moca/Mqew I think we have a weak link….please convene soon for an evaluation, and possibly a couple of interviews.

Cee is still wearing the gas face at Angie.

By Randyt (aka Been there, Done that, Got a Closet FULL of t-shirts)

December 2, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

Raqi

Busted!!! Okay, you caught me (or us). I heard one time that a woman needs to feel loved to want sex (not entirely true, I understand there are “itches”), but a man has to have sex to feel loved. It dooooo help sometimes.

By AmazonRed

December 2, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this

Question for the oh so strong and never insecure men of the blog:

Would you ever consider going to therapy for any issue you might/may face?

Would any guy on here admit to going to therapy?

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 3:26 PM | Link to this

Kym That statement (close mouths don’t get fed) came to mind when Angie said this mine always said what ever you want. in eight years, he never answered me.

See that’s BS right there. I can’t have a man who never even have an opinion about something as simple as what he wants to eat. We all have a preference or craving for something every now and then. And if you don’t, don’t go complaining about what I make or how many times I make it.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

foots i’ve been meaning to apologize for our last spat. i was outta line.

i’m not giving choices because i dont have time to do that. now if i have chicken and ground beef defrosted and ready to prepare at the same time, then he’ll get a chance to pick.

he was always happy with what i prepared and i’m ASSUMING the next one will be too.

when i prepare my grocery list, i do ask him to add his desirables. that helps me alot with dinner ideas.

By MELO

December 2, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

Michelle sexually frustrated wit u how??

Leggs,hws the party arrngmnts cming along??

HasppyB Staceye,u coming..i mean, to the party,what did u think i meant? Boss lady,if u in twn &lurking,hit me up… ALL if u dont plan to come to the party,i can arrange to pick up ur presents for Leggs,i got a big truck,so email me so we make arrangements to meet.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

cee lol. that’s not fair! you haven’t even did a taste test. how you gon black ball me without a test taste???

this is some bs!

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

December 2, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

I love the 2:43pm post about not asking so many doggone questions! That is a pet peeve of most men and a great lesson learned by Angie. Kudos!

By Michelle

December 2, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this

H*LL NO THEY WON’T Amazon! LOL!

By The Truth

December 2, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this

Ared No. Whatevers fugged up with me is what you get. Irefuse to let some shrink keep asking me how i feel about something. I feel like slapping the shyt out of you for asking. Also, if we get so far gone that we need a referee its a wrap.

By Sassette aka Kym

December 2, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

Amazon I was just reading in the paper that 1 in 5 college students have some type of mental disorder.

Truth Honey therapy is not really such a bad thing. The therapist is not a referee for the relationship but a neutral party..who is suppose to help the two sides come together as one. Kind of like the UN of relationships..LMAO.

Now personal therapy is suppose to be there to help you get over what ever is fugged up with you. Kind of like turning the mirror around so you can face the real you.

By MELO

December 2, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

I can’t have a man who never even have an opinion about something as simple as what he wants to eat dont get it either…..for a moment i thoght that was a cltural thing. TRUTH think we got casualties here….

By AmazonRed

December 2, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

Also, if we get so far gone that we need a referee its a wrap.

Truth, not relationship counseling. One on one counseling for you alone and whatever “issue” you may face.

In summary, some of y’all men have issues that you shouldn’t be taking out on your women. Seriously.

By Cleopatra

December 2, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

From reading the comments today, I’m a bit confused where I am in all of this. I have a gentleman friend that always says he’s emotional and I’m too forthcoming. What does that say about him? About me? He holds everything inside. If I inadvertantly hit the right button, then I hear about his emotions. Is he a wuss or is that normal? After knowing him awhile, one thing that’s for certain, he loves being and having his ego stroked. What’s that all about?

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this

I feel like slapping the shyt out of you for asking

rotf at Truth - Tellin’ how he really feel!

Well, Ared i guess Truth is not showing us how to make that famous sour cream mac ‘n cheese.

Raqi Hold yo’ man girl!

not asking so many doggone questions!

Got dangit. Did KP just cuss!?! Ya’ll don’ went mad in here.

By Michelle

December 2, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this

Melo, First off, this dude has a problem communicating and the only way I found out about his sexual frustration with me was after asking him over & over again why we haven’t been conversing as usual.. Anywho, he has told me that I am too sexually agressive in the bedroom. He has a problem with me not letting him take control of me when I am n top.. ???? Also, I am VERY comfortable with myself sexually and I don’t think that he is used to that..

Footnote, he is a little younger than me..

By The Truth

December 2, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this

Ared no on individual therapy too. I’ve been with me for a long time and I trust my judgement.

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

AR

Would any guy on here admit to going to therapy?

I probably would, but remember that I am used to shrinks. I was a psych major and the professor that I had for the most classes was still a practicing psychiatrist. So, I’ve spent a lot of time dealing with shrinks, so have no problem with them.

As far as dinner goes, I usually don’t care what she cooks. I am just happy that I ain’t cookin’.

Seriously, she prolly has more issue with what I cook from time to time, especially when I get into my health kick. This is especially true when I get into a health like the beginning of every year. No sweets, very low sodium, very low fat can make some very bland food. She gets tired of poached salmon, baked tilapia, baked or rotissere chicked (we have our own “rotissere oven” from Ron Pepeil and RONCO…the Set and Forget it guy).

Most of the time though, I eat to live, not live to eat. So, whatever she cooks or not cooks doesn’t bother me. Heck, I been known to go up to Publix and get some Boars Head cold cuts and just make sandwiches and be as happy as a pig in mud.

By MELO

December 2, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this

Would you ever consider going to therapy for any issue you might/may face? 1)going for therapy dont mean smebody aint strong 2)paying for therapy is really unnecesary in my view.U just need somebody u can talk to that u trust to get over most of these issues.Problem is most of those pple and families(who resort to therapy) are so phucked up,there is nobody in their family(ies) wrthy of trust,that can handle another member’s issues.

By AmazonRed

December 2, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this

Truth, I figured as much. You come across as very self-assured though. Thanks for answering.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

i have to say that this blog is better than therapy and more effective. did i mention free?

i tried one session on my own. when he walked over and grabbed a book from the shelf, i walked out. i’m not in the book you idiot! i’m over here. $75.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

Truth Man, you silly at hayo!

By For Real

December 2, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

Ared I told you the What are you thinking? question is the second thing that men fear most. So, why would that change just because a purveyor of a suedo science ask it?

For Real now taking his hunching issues out of Ared.

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

Today, I’m working.

Thanks Angie!

Melo, I’m letting the venue take care of the arrangements. Although I’ve never been there, I am in constant communication with them. Mind you, this is nothing real big since it’s not at my house. Just a little food, dancing and drinking. Thanks, but you won’t need the truck.

Very interesting topic today, wish I could go back and read what I missed, but massa insists I work today. Chat with you guys tomorrow.

By Dan

December 2, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

@ARed

I’ve been to therapy twice because of my actions during critical times in my life.

One session, both times. To wit each doctor told the people that took me: “he knows what’s wrong, knows how to fix it, just leave him be”

So, therapy works for some people, not so much for others.

By MELO

December 2, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

He has a problem with me not letting him take control of me when I am n top.. ???? dammmnn it!!!!! He is sexxually immature coz(and….immm(see my stutter) watering at the mouth at ur statement) a confident man wld relish a woman taking control.Luvely thang indeed.Wheew…

By MELO

December 2, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

He has a problem with me not letting him take control of me when I am n top.. ???? dammmnn it!!!!! He is sexxually immature coz(and….immm(see my stutter) watering at the mouth at ur statement) a confident man wld relish a woman taking control.Luvely thang indeed.Wheew… U cming to the party??

By AmazonRed

December 2, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

1)going for therapy dont mean smebody aint strong 2)paying for therapy is really unnecesary in my view.

melo, agreed on your #1 and for many of us “with benefits” your job should offer some Employee Assistance program. I think you can get up to 8 sessions a year with this benefit and if the problem can’t be worked through in that time, you can be referred to someone covered by your insurance. (I believe that is the basic gist).

By Sassette aka Kym

December 2, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this

Happy No More Political Ads Day!!!!!

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 4:02 PM | Link to this

2)paying for therapy is really unnecesary in my view.U just need somebody u can talk to that u trust to get over most of these issues.

That’s why Cee has ‘teams/friends’ for different situation.

And

Problem is most of those pple and families(who resort to therapy) are so phucked up,there is nobody in their family(ies) wrthy of trust,that can handle another member’s issues.

Melo this is very true.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

Randy what makes yall so cute and humorous is I have a circle of girlfriends and we get together and talk about our lives and indirectly about our relationships and whatnot. We share and vent to help each other.

So when our (yall) men folk are gathered in the other room jumping around, barking, hoopin’ and hollerin’ at the game on the television in a brute manly fashion we just sit back and know yall like to be held. LOL But we don’t tell nobody.

Cemeeli I hold his head right here on these barely c-cups and rub the trouble out of his mind until he is fast asleep then I get online and buy something. Works everytime. ;-D

By RELL - Staceye J Fan!!!

December 2, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

@Ared

**Would you ever consider going to therapy for any issue you might/may face?

Would any guy on here admit to going to therapy?**

YEP….i have…for my anger….ummm i have a lil problem with it so i had to go talk it out in the 90’s during the corps and after the corps…so yeah i had a problem and i fixed it…..somewhat but its not like it was before…whats wrong with admitting you once had a problem….

By For Real

December 2, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

I am VERY comfortable with myself sexually Michelle you like Dolphins?

By AmazonRed

December 2, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

Dan big difference in being “taken” to therapy and going voluntarily.

I’ll put you down as a “no.”

By MELO

December 2, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

Cleopatra.. ,I have a gentleman friend that always says he’s emotional and I’m too forthcoming is this the kind of a gentleman friend that sticks it?? or its a friend,friend for real??

By RELL - Staceye J Fan!!!

December 2, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

@pg…dude i am the sanwich king….i usually eat an egg sanwich every morning..eggs meat and chees..for lunch or dinner sandwich and chips….my favorite..bugs the wife because i bypass things she cooks at times for my sanwichs….but it like this we toss more food because my taste change like my thoughts…but i love a good sandwich more than anything….eggs and fish(tuna) are my other favs…..

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

U just need somebody u can talk to that u trust to get over most of these issues.

Melo that’s true. My brother is an psychoanalyst and I know that most people just want to talk about it. You would be amazed at how many people work out their own problems just by talking about it and don’t even realize it.

LOL I know my brother would kill me for saying that out loud. But hey, some folks just need a sugar pill to make it all better.

But let it be known my brother is an excellent doctor. I seek his advice from time to time.

By Dan

December 2, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

@ARed

My point was that I was taken becuase of my behavior at those times becuase no one that tried could help me.

I’m saying for some people in the world, therapy is a waste of time, we deal with things in our own ways.

Mine was self examination.

By AmazonRed

December 2, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

whats wrong with admitting you once had a problem….

Rell, I’d direct that question to the men posing like they’ve never been insecure about anything.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

Melo I’ll take that 4:02 back… This is why i continualy seek God in my life. Your church-chic over here look and seek many solutions from God, prayer, and bible time. Nothing really gets me to the point of intense therapy.

By RELL - Staceye J Fan!!!

December 2, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

*He has a problem with me not letting him take control of me when I am n top.. ???? Also, I am VERY comfortable with myself sexually and I don’t think that he is used to that.. *

THIS IS WHY I SAY SMUT THEM OUT AT LEAST THREE TIMES A WEEK…WOMEN LIKE TO FLUCK!!!!!….make love on holidays and christmas…rest of the time….they want that azz up and face in the mattress style love….michelle thats a sad read right there…you would not let him take control….LMAO…..you would be catching DNA on the face with me….lol….dudes are funny

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

Rell

Like Bruh man from the fourth (said while holding up three fangas) floor, I love sammiches.

If I really have a taste for something, I get it. I don’t ask her for it.

For example, on Saturday I was wanting a steak so I called her first and put a hold her cooking and then called Outback for curbside pickup. That prime rib was off da chain.

However, those days are few and far between. At times, I can be a real nutrition fanatic that would drive her crazy. Throwing out all chips and stuff and replacing it with carrots and raw cauliflower.See I ain’t insecure about it

Then, she gets upset when I throw out her Rum Raisin Hagen Daas Ice Cream. I wanted to share something that was important to me…healthy eatin’ and she gets all upset and stuff. Go Figure.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

Raqi Ha. No you’re not letting the Cs rock him to sleep and then you shop. lol…

By AmazonRed

December 2, 2008 4:22 PM | Link to this

Dan, I got your point and it didn’t really have much to do with mine, but I hope you feel better having shared then.

By Dan

December 2, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

@Ared

I do.

And maybe somebody reading having a problem, might too.

By Dan

December 2, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

@Ared

I do.

And maybe somebody reading having a problem, might too.

BTW, what was your point?

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

aaaawwwwwww…daaaannng…

PoppaG You do not throw out Mrs. G’s Haagen Daaz ice cream!!! spell it right, bruh K?

Cee is not bish slapping PoppaG for being a hater!

Grande I wanted to share something that was important to me…healthy eatin’ and she gets all upset and stuff.

..share something else…maybe she’s not a health nut or your timing is off.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

Poppa Throwing out the ice cream?? Blasphemy!!! You would be running to the 24hr Kroger or sleeping your behind on the couch until I can get a replacement pint. I must have my Ben & Jerry’s at least once a week. Can you say menage a trios? Me, Ben and Jerry.

By Raqi

December 2, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this

Cee Rock-a-bye hubby into dream land…

Good night yall.

By AmazonRed

December 2, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this

Dan, don’t worry suga, the question wasn’t for you anyway.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 4:32 PM | Link to this

then I get online and buy something. Works everytime. ;-D

too funny.

By MELO

December 2, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this

I actually went for therapy yesterday…….not wit a shrink. But,i did not sleep the whole of sunday nite.Tossing and turning.Queen asked once,u okay??I said yep but did not adress it wit her.Consequently,she didnt go to sleep either! Monday morning at work,called my Dad long distance in kwaZulu-South Africa and we had a long chat.Actaully,its about my young bro,who comes after me, who has been sick.Was in states 3 years but went back home coz of that and still sick.But there is sme phucked up family stuff there too in the mix.My dad calmed me down and just told me to ingnore and forgive her(my aunt-his sister) and that was it.Calmed me down a bit,otherwise i was ready to book a flight and go over there to blow her up!! Told queen later that nite,after the issue was calmer for me and issue was solved!! Now,who needs a shrink??

By Michelle

December 2, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this

Rell LMAO!! Melo When is the party? I might be able to come by.. Also, he may not be used to messing with a grown woman :0.. Also, he is not packing anything to talk about but if he would stop thinking about me doing what i do and concentrate, he could get some business taken care of..
* For Real* don’t care for dolphins AT ALL!!
LOL!

By Jamoca

December 2, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

That girl thinks that shes so bad, Shell change my tears from joy to sad She says she keeps the upper hand, cause she can please her man She doesnt use her love to make him weak, She uses love to keep him strong And inside me theres no room for doubt, That it wont be too long*

Before I tell her that I love her, That I want her That my mind, soul and body needs her, Tell her that Id love to, that I want to That I need to do all that I have to, To be in her love

Ive been hurting for a long time, And youve been playing for a long time You know its true, Ive been holding for a long time And youve been running for a long time, Its time to do what we have to do

That girl, that girl

That girl knows every single man,Would ask her for her hand But she says her love is much too deep, For them to understand She says her love has been crying out, But her lover hasnt heard But what she doesnt realize is that Ive listened to every word

…bet dude’s thinkin’, messin’ with me, he realizes he don’t need no therapist just to make him go —-> Woooo-Saaaah! LOL! j/k… ;-)

Hey ya’ll…whatcha’ll talkin’ bout in here?….

Cee you know the waiting list is currently closed…shooo, this recession has got us cuttin’ folks from the the team right n’ left as it is. Check back around tax season.

Raqi’s idea will probably be your best bet. I had an idea for your leftover turkey, but honestly I am soooo tiiied of turkey. You know ol’ gannie already talkin’ bout boiling that hambone down for some greens to make a mighty fine pot-likka…lol!

Hey Kym have you ever considered taking the manchild to Busch Gardens? It’s theme is the continent of Africa or rather the different countries of it. It’s actually very nice, just a lot of walking and long lines as with any other theme park.

Ratta Ta-Ta I see the future candy lady offerin’ up some real suspicious lookin’ delights off that dayum Licorice Lane. Don’t blame you for declining the offer…Just pass me some Suga in the Raw, to go with my Vanilla Spiced Rum latte. hmmmmm….

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

Haagen Dazs…

Now i get a wrist slap.

PoppaG - Please dont neva, eva do that again.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

2)paying for therapy is really unnecesary in my view.

yep!

By AmazonRed

December 2, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this

otherwise i was ready to book a flight and go over there to blow her up!!

melo LMAO. I’m glad you found an outlet for that anger. Y’all let this ish build up sometimes. I hope you have an agressive hobby for the times your dad isn’t around. LOL

By the way, I’m like your wife. I’ll ask if my guy is okay or if he wants to talk - once. If the answer is no, then handle your business on your own then. I’ll be here. But in the meantime, you’d better not take that ish out on ME!

By MELO

December 2, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

Michelle party starts at 8.00pm email Leggs for details..or me takpat78@gmail.Its a grown folks party,if he aint comfy wit adults,leave his azz home,we can handle u..

By Angie

December 2, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this

we rec’d the first five sessions free. his job the state paid for them.

the last session he went alone to a new therapist. she told him he was ok because he lied basicly and forgot to tell her the good stuff.

he didn’t go back to our therapist because she agreed with me. ha! while he waited in the waiting area, i got the chance to tell my side. and vise versa. you should have seen her face. priceless. he was smart to switch. lol.

By RELL - Staceye J Fan!!!

December 2, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this

@chelle….he must not be that bad…you still dealing with him…..lol…so who is getting the better deal…he younger and he banging an older experienced women…lol…i say hush that fuss and get back to work…lol….until the am…peace and love

By Angie

December 2, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this

melo you invitin’ folks to leggs party? does she know bout this? lol.

j/k.

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this

Raqi

• You would be running to the 24hr Kroger or sleeping your behind on the couch until I can get a replacement pint.*

No, no, that is one thing that Poppa does not do. I don’t do couches. I am an old football player that weights about 256 lb at 6’8”and she weights 119 lb. at 5’2” She can’t help me get off that couch.

I actaually did get her a replacement pint…instead of another I took her to Cold Stone and let her get a pint of her concoction that she loves for them to mix together.

I actually did that during the second year of our marriage threw out the ice cream.

By MELO

December 2, 2008 4:48 PM | Link to this

Remember this uall,the stuff that u going thru and thats bothering u,smebody has proly gone thru same thing and dealt with it,so the least u can do is, jus talk to smebody ‘bout it..i tell that to my yung bros all the time!

By Angie

December 2, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this

i came to the conclusion that he just didn’t want to be fixed. in his eyes, he didn’t do anything wrong. men are from mars …

By Foots

December 2, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

For Real You REALLY stoopid! LOL!

Michelle He’s thinking that you must have learned all of that somewhere. He can’t perform right cause he’s so worried about you making comparisons to others that you’ve had. Freaks him out.

He’s immature. A grown azz man would enjoy your prowess and maybe even send a thank you card to the man who taught you how to take a face shot. Just saying.

By AmazonRed

December 2, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

melo, your 4:48 is good advice.

I watch Keyshia Cole’s reality show. If her life ain’t some constant drama, I don’t know what is. I think they showed a marathon of her show on Thanksgiving just to make us all appreciate any family we’ve got!

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this

Ok, got back on…Melo, since you doing all this advertisement and inviting folk, you want to dish out some $$?

By MELO

December 2, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this

Angie,leggs will allow anybody a guest,right???

By Sassette aka Kym

December 2, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

Jamoca I am going back maybe around Memorial Day..I may put it on the list of things to do this time around.

By Angie

December 2, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

ooops melo! i hope i didn’t get you in trouble.

By Cemeeli

December 2, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

PoppaG you’re a big dude….ugghh…j/p.

Jamoca you have a fine for posting late, k?

Ya’ll have tickled me today.

~Be easy.

chair spin

By Poppa Grande

December 2, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this

Cee

She ain’t a health nut. That prolly why she cooks and doesn’t really ask me what I want.

I am cooking tonight though…ha, ha.

Surprise, I’m cooking the other white meat…I am cooking corn flake pork chops, cabbage and mashed sweet potatoes. I am making brown sugar lemonade to get wit it.

By Leggs

December 2, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

Hey, thanks Angie!

Good night everyone. I need a stiff drink!

ALERT, ALERT, stay ALERT!

By Michelle

December 2, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

Shoot me an email Melo I can come.. Michellecamille@hotmail.com. LMAO! Let me know what I can bring :)

By Angie

December 2, 2008 5:05 PM | Link to this

watch CNN. the jennifer hudson murders is a mess! triflin’ folks

By dan

December 2, 2008 5:07 PM | Link to this

@ michelle

I’mma agree with Foots on that. Most of my early sexual experience was with older women. And they taught me a lot. But you have to be willing to be trained and coachable.

I’m glad they took the time and effort to help me experience my potential.

Now, about my friend Panthro…..he’d love to meet you. Shall I say @ leggs party?

By Angie

December 2, 2008 5:12 PM | Link to this

is this thing still on?

who’s gonna go to leggs party for me and trip Ared as she walks by? lol.

j/k