Misadventures in Atlanta

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 8:34 AM | Link to this

“…he doesn’t want to completely shut her out.” (Red flags and whistles)

Once someone makes an advance at you they have over stepped the boundaries and disrespected your relationship therefore changing the nature of your association with them. After that point there is no such thing as “he doesn’t want to completely shut her out”. If the person feels that way about you, they will continue to feel that way while you try to pretend those feeling they have do not exist. You run the risk of said person trying to sabotage your existing relationship.

There is one younger gentleman here that I work with that I am “friends” with while at work. We have lunch together occasionally but he knows that the minute he steps to me wrong our friendship will cease to exist. Whether he does it jest or all seriousness he knows not to go there. When Mason comes to my office they speak and whatnot because he is no threat to what I have with my husband. Mason knows that he and I have lunch together and he has met my coworkers girlfriend at a few office parties.

Honestly if Mase came to me with crap like that talking about he wants to remain friends with a female after she made a move on him, I will see that as him wanting to keep her around as a way to keep his options open.

If you play with fire you will eventually get burned.

By Shaw-T Lo

November 13, 2008 8:40 AM | Link to this

yah boy feeling kinda mellow today….so special dedication to myself. Zoom *I may be just a foolish dreamer But I don’t care ‘Cause I know my happiness is waiting out there somewhere I’m searching for that silver lining Horizons that I’ve never seen Oh I’d like to take just a moment and dream my dream Dream my dream

Zoom I’d like to fly far away from here Where my mind is fresh and clear And I’d find the love that I long to see Where everybody can be what they wanna be

I’d like the greet the sun each morning And walk amongst the stars at night I’d like to know the taste of honey in my life Well I’ve shared so many pains And I’ve played so many games But everyone finds the right way Somehow Somewhere Someday

Zoom I’d like to fly far away from here Where my mind can be fresh and clear And I’ll find the love that I long to see People can be what they wanna be

I wish the world were truly happy Living as one I wish the word they call freedom someday would come Someday would come

Zoom I’d like to fly far away from here Where my mind can be fresh and clear And I’d find the love that I long to see Everybody can be what they wanna be

Zoom I’d like to fly away Zoom I’d like to fly away Zoom I’d like to fly away You and me, baby Walking free Don’t you wanna go? Don’t you wanna go?*

By Just Visiting

November 13, 2008 8:56 AM | Link to this

Heartburn, Herpes and Hemorrhoids! Top of the morning to ya bloggers!

By Dan

November 13, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this

Good morning, good morning love for the John Legend fans out there…

We spend a lot of time, and a lot of downtime, with the people we work with, be it 40 hours or more. Of course those conversations happen about “who’s dating who” “what you like in a man/woman” and all manner of relationship issues. These are people that you spend the bulk of your waking day with.

I’ve had those conversations, of course, from a detached standpoint (more listening than commenting) and while they are facsinating social interactions, when they go bad, they go really bad.

I’ve had a “work [spouse]” that I often referred to as my “little big sister”, we were cool, close, and hung out a lot after work - but as friends.

We’re not anymore (see: “when they go bad”), but it was kinda nice to have someone to talk to about the crazy women in my life, and truly she helped me mature a little by giving the “female” point of view.

So the relationships are not all bad, and Raqi’s kinda right “can’t ever cross that line”

By Dan

November 13, 2008 9:02 AM | Link to this

Good morning, good morning love for the John Legend fans out there…

We spend a lot of time, and a lot of downtime, with the people we work with, be it 40 hours or more. Of course those conversations happen about “who’s dating who” “what you like in a man/woman” and all manner of relationship issues. These are people that you spend the bulk of your waking day with.

I’ve had those conversations, of course, from a detached standpoint (more listening than commenting) and while they are facsinating social interactions, when they go bad, they go really bad.

I’ve had a “work [spouse]” that I often referred to as my “little big sister”, we were cool, close, and hung out a lot after work - but as friends.

We’re not anymore (see: “when they go bad”), but it was kinda nice to have someone to talk to about the crazy women in my life, and truly she helped me mature a little by giving the “female” point of view.

So the relationships are not all bad, and Raqi’s kinda right “can’t ever cross that line”

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 9:16 AM | Link to this

I am not an overly jealous woman but I do care. I care if some other woman is making advances at my husband. While I will never make a scene I will check a trick if she disrespects me by being all in my man’s space in my presence. And I most definitely will check my husband and then have more than a few words later with him if he doesn’t put a woman in her place at the very moment she disrespects our relationship. I expect my husband to not get to friendly with another woman in my absence, just like I know not to do so when he is not around. But to disrespect me to my face…

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone!

Dan, hello to you. First, Raqi is more than kinda right. She’s absolutely right. The female has already changed the dynamics of their working relationship. She stated her intent. He’s involved w/another woman but doesn’t want to shut her down. If the girlfriend doesn’t put her foot down, so to speak, then here’s a classic example of “a man can’t do anything to a woman that she doesn’t allow!!!”

By Blow Me a.k.a BIRTHDAY girl is partied OUT!

November 13, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All

This is a bogus a$$ topic…..YAWN!!

By MELO

November 13, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

Morning everyone!! Anyone out there who knows of a good technical school in Atlanta or sorroundings, where i can get good training in Java, MATLAB, R, FAME, Perl,or VBA (any one of these or in combo) in a reasonably short time.I dont want the training online,i want it with a live tutor. Thanks for ur help pple.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

Good Morning!

Today’s topic meets my reality….which is one reason why i blog. There are somethings I know could get out of hand if i would venture to entertain certain people here. That’s why i’m always “working” :). Now, I do have a few colleagues that i will go to the gym, out to lunch, and out on Friday night. But even then when interacting with them i keep it very light. There are a couple close-nit relationships male/female that have build over the years, and those interactions are strictly friendly.

I agree with Raqi on all fronts about not crossing that line.

By Dan

November 13, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

Hey Leggs!

Where I was agreeing with Raqi was regarding physical intimacy.

Where I disagreed was the emotional intimacy.

You can be emotionally involved with the “work spouse” and not physically intimate. That’s what makes the dance of “balance” so intriguing.

While there can be an emtional tie, the physical cannot/ should not be crossed if for no other reason than “you work together”.

But there can be the “hang out tight” friends from work, regardless of gender. I think too, though, that the fact that “I don’t see you like that” should be stated often and succinctly to each party.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

I got what you’re saying, but his girlfriend has stated she’s not comfortable. Therefore, there shouldn’t be any “hanging out” outide of work since the “working spouse” has forever changed the working relationship. Her feelings are out there and everything now will be scrutinized by him, by her and by the girlfriend. The equation has shifted!

By kimmie

November 13, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

Morning Blog Fam

Raqi - You are absolutely correct on all points. No need for me to expound further.

I’ve seen these situations go very bad, for myself and others I know. As Raqi said, red flags all the way when dude started talking about “he doesn’t want to shut her out”! WTF He can certainly check the chick and still have a civil working relationship if he wants to. But no, he wants to keep his options open obviously! One thing I’ve learned about men is that when they truly don’t want to be bothered with you they have NO TROUBLE letting you know, even if they hurt your feelings. They are always going to do exactly what they WANT to do.

A young man I dated for 2 years used to go on and on about this chick he worked with and supposedly they were just “good friends”. The minute he “officially” broke up with me they hooked up, a few months later moved in together and a few months after that married!

Blanca’s friend can be a fool if she wants to!

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

I met my best male friend at work 11 years ago. At first I thought he was trying to holla, but he never made a move. Before I left Cali, we did everything together, took vacations together, and were stand ins for each other when we didn’t want to take a date to functions. He spent many a holiday with my family (and my dad would still like to see him as my husband, lol)

It put a strain on his relationships basically because he always had a “bros before hoes” mentality. He was gonna treat me like family no matter what his dating situation was. I was the one trying to convince the girl that there was really nothing going on. LOL.

As for me, when I was in a relationship, I always kept my friend at a safe distance. I never wanted my guy to feel threatened by my friend.

In any case, it worked itself out because I moved away. He has a girlfriend currently and when I met her she cling to him as a way to mark her territory. LOL.

All this to say, you can have a close relationship with someone but if my friend ever told me to back away because his woman was uncomfortable with our friendship, I absolutely would.

And anyone who wouldn’t, especially in a work situation, has their priorities all wrong!

By Dan

November 13, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

Monkey Wrench

Why would he tell his SO?

What purpose would it serve?

If the woman didn’t tell the SO, no guy that I know would?

Most men in this situation would have either acted on the “work spouses” proposition or not, but the SO wouldn’t have known about either decision for quite some time well after…

I think the names and genders have been changed to protect the innocent, this doesn’t make sense….

By The Truth

November 13, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

Morning folks. Welcome back Dan.

There’s 2 sides to this coin.

1)You never let some chick, wives and gf’s included, dictate the nature of your relationship with ANYONE. Ever. Ths is the first step in becoming a true hen pecked bytch. In the next step she’ll eliminate all your friends then leave because you’re “always around and don’t have any friends”.

If she doesn’t trust you that’s something she has to work out, on her own. Her trust issues usually have nothing to do with you but rather something she’s done or had done to her. I wasn’t involved in that and I’m not paying for it.

2)If you really like the chick you’re seeing just tell the woman at work and keep her in check too. I think this is the problem with men nowadays, they let these chicks dictate to much of their lives. They try to hard to be her friend vs being a leader.

Women go in a womans place, and thats not dictating my life.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

There’s no monkey wrench here. The only monkey wrench would be if he unzipped his pants and decided to do the horizontal mambo and disrespect his girlfriend. That’s the only wrench!!!

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

…if i was stuck on a desert island i’d eat fish and grits….

7:20am (ish) I shuffle to bedroom and get busy with the hair. Manage not to burn my sausage fingers with my flat irons for once.

7:33am After getting ready for work while listening to some music and viewing my lil cuzzy’s memoir DVD on the hd. I realized I’d been playing the SAME song every other day for the last hundred years….

7:40am I pack the boy’s lunch. As I walk back pass hallway, look 2 the right, there’s flattened carpet square where the trumpet instruction booklet (it had been there since beginning of school yr) was gone, much to my mild disappointment (I’d had an internal bet with myself that it would be there til Christmas).

7:48 Heading out…Our front door is like Fort Knox, so it takes a good minute or two to get it all locked up. hmmmph Why is my purse so heavy? Dag, I forget that dumb, “smart phone”. As I think about how/why i lived an “anti-smartphone life” before, and how the “regular” cell phone was much better at keeping up! sigh

8:51am Open front door to building and immediately regret not calling in/dogging it/stabbing myself in eyes as our receptionist bellows at me about getting away early tomorrow and about how good I am at text messages. Huh?

By Shaw-T Lo

November 13, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

well…there are only two types of females in my life whether it be work or play and they are:

that’s it. male/female nonsexual relationships don’t exist in my world, cause anythang else is just b/s and i keeps my shyte all the way “real”.

cause the type of man i am, if you enter or I invite you into my atomsphere, it’s cause the physcial get me first (attraction) and i have already thought bout hittin’ it and upon closer explaination you will fit into one of the above listed options.

By Dan

November 13, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

Wes Supper, Truth!

@Leggs

Fa sho it’s a monkey wrench, why would a grown man openly tell his SO about another woman’s advances, before a decision was made?

Guys don’t work like that. Now the homeboy might get the info, but the guy (in question) ain’t bout to take those kinda problems home to his lady until a decision has been made.

If he acts, she’ll never know (maybe an inkling at the office Christmas Party).

If he doesn’t act, he’ll tell her six month after the fact and have set the stage by either dogging the chick or not mentioning her anymore.

I’ve never heard of a guy asking his SO whether or not to “act” with a woman that has shown interest, have you?

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

that’s it. male/female nonsexual relationships don’t exist in my world

Shaw-T, that’s kinda sad. You’re missing out.

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

Dan I have to say that I have never been in a relationship (sex) with a man that I did not first develop an intimate emotional bond with. That’s the nature of most women. At least that I have know of. Not all but most. Emotional intimacy is just as inappropriate as physical intimacy. I don’t carry intimate emotional connections for any man except my husband, because that connection (for me) is what makes you want to confide and find solace in that person in times of need. Therefore usually leading to the desire for physical comfort and intimacy.

Heck I know me. I know when I want to be held by the person that I have an emotional bond with. Yeah I have friends that I confide in and I have received a hug from a friend, but I don’t claim emotional intimacy with those friends. And better yet those friends are women.

It is unacceptable in my book. And I know for a fact that if my husband found out I was confiding in another man outside of my oldest brother about things that I should be going to him for as my husband, confidant, hero and knight he would be very very upset and unsympathetic.

By For Real

November 13, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

What up BLog fam!

For Real now driving the Urang to Rev. Young’s church for 7 days of sex with married women in the name of the lord.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

A grown man will tell his SO cuz he’s covering his a$$. He thinks that his honesty is almost like carte blance to perhaps gingerly step that way. He’s trying to assure his girlfriend that he’s not interested but doesn’t want to shut her down. WTF is that! He’s laying bricks to start creeping. That’s how I’m looking at it!

By Dan

November 13, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

@Raqi

That’s my point though.

You can be my homegirl in the same way I have homeboy’s - no physical intimacy.

We talk, I like you as a person, but I don’t see you in a sexual way at all. The exact phrase was “anatomically blank Barbie”

But, I’ve had several female friends that I never got down with and those that I did, but the difference in reference and how we interact is stark. Night and day.

Quite often, the platonic homegirls knew the non platonic ones.

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

Leggs

I’m thinking, maybe he told his girlfriend because it will help keep him honest. Maybe in another time and place he would be interested but maybe he realizes he has a LOT to lose, not only in his relationship, but also at his job, by going there.

Maybe he has a type of guy who has a relationship based on trust and honesty. Maybe he told her because this situation affects her too.

I know some of the guys on here don’t “get it” but just because something sounds foreign to you, doesn’t mean it’s rare or even unlikely.

By Dan

November 13, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

@Leggs

No man is that clever.

Either it has happened, and he’s stopped mentioning her (we react by dogging her after the fact);

Or it didn’t happen and while he’s mentioning her, he never mentions her advance.

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

“…mark her territory.”

Ya damn skippy. That’s why Mase has a hickie one his chest and another on his belly right now. So any intruders will know “look b!tch you messing with a crazy woman’s property. Now step the hell off.” LOL

Just kidding but not really. He does have a hickie, but that’s TMI for this early in the morn. LOL

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

On Topic Raqi has made some valid points…as usual…the woman wanted to change the dynamic…something is missing in her personal life and she is transferring it the work related bond with her co-worker….WRONG!!!!

@Melo

Check with Dekalb Tech or Perimeter College…or Devry…those are some good options for pursuing leads to your questions…also perhaps some Continuing Education programs.

By kimmie

November 13, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

Raqi - ^5 on your 10:16. As usual, you are on point today

Leggs - ^5 on your 10:18 too!

These dudes can try to twist this mess up all they want to, talking about woman dictating who they’re friends with and all that BS. They know when they’re not being right and shyt is about to go down. Like I said, they can check a chick when they want to.

Both parties have to listen to that little inner voice. If it makes you uncomfortable, it’s dog on sure gonna make your SO uncomfortable. Where you put your priority will direct your decision.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

It can go either way ARed.

Dan, sorry, I completely disagree w/you! Some men ARE just that clever!!! We, women, think of all possible angles. You may not be that clever to think along those lines, believe you me many men out there are doing exactly what I posted!

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

@ARed

Truly, I have learned to value my platonic relationships with my male friends…for me it is like an extension of the relationships I have/had with my male family members…I still value the HUMAN factor over all other considerations…I am a fullfilled as a human being as the ppl who have contributed to acknowledging and embracing me as a person…and that includes my platonic, non-sexual relationships with men.

By Dan

November 13, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

@Leggs

We, women, think of all possible angles.

^^That statement right there, is the cause of stress.

Guys don’t take stuff that seriously, or think about it that much.

If my lady has a male friend that she talks about constantly, I immediately think “he’s gay”. I may even reference that idea with her. I would never suspect an ulterior motive becuase I’m handling my business - thus negating him as a threat.

So, no, I’mma disagree that a guy is that duplicitous. If he is, he might need to be checked for the switch, becuase “normal” males don’t plot that deep.

By Shaw-T Lo

November 13, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

redd

it aint sad one bit, it’s “real.” anythang else is phony fake azz games.

By MLL

November 13, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

I read that article earlier this week. People know darn well what they are doing when they are being chummy with their co workers. They tell the co worker things they don’t thell their SO, buying food, gifts for the co workers, things like that. I have a co worker who have been trying to get chummy with me for all of the 8 years since I’ve been with this company, I’ve stand firmed all these years and will continue until I leave this company, I’m not interested in being a work spouse.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

Dan, give me a break. No, it’s not a sign of stress. We just think differently from you guys. We have stated this over and over and over on this blog. Some of us are more analytical than others. Some take things as they come and not look for ulterior motives. Nonetheless, not grounds for stress. Personally, I like to think! I’m not the type to do “undercover” work because I can bring out the true “representative” fairly quickly!

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

Dan let me tell you this. There something husbands that outside women know. Those men are probably marriage minded. Those men probably are not afraid of commitment. Those men are probably settled. Those men probably family oriented. That’s what makes a lot of married men attractive. Especially to those women desiring husbands and/or committed relationships. A lot of women today do not respect relationships and will try to move in on some one else’s.

There are some good men that still exist today that resist the urge of the new new. But that does not stop some women from pursuing what they have no rightful claim to. So it’s up to the men to keep those pursuers in check. Don’t play with fire.

I have no problem inviting myself into the company of my husband and another woman if I feel she is getting to close. Like I said earlier I know how to not make a scene but still let her know who I am. And also gently grab his hand or touch his arm in a way to say, “don’t go to far Fido” all while smiling and having a cordial conversation with them both.

You know how I know when he feels like I have been standing talking to a man to long, he will walk over to where I am. And has been know to make a joke about that man trying to take his wife. I can tell the difference now in his tone and laughter when he is serious about something compared to just jesting.

There is nothing wrong with innocent conversation, but a woman can see with another woman is flirting with a man. Women know women. Just a man can stand back and note the body gestures of another man that is attracted to a woman.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

MLL, exactly. I have 3 guys here at my job who have been after me for years. I call them diehards, cuz they don’t understand No, a cussing out when they step wrong, nor a threat to HR. They lead w/their hormones and not their brain. I stand firm in my place to be nothing more than a co-worker. No co-worker w/benefits going down w/me!

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

*People know darn well what they are doing when they are being chummy with their co workers.

MLL I agree 10001%. While I am far from being insecure in my marriage, I ain’t nobody’s fool.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

it is what it is. a man is gonna do whatever his selfish behind is gonna do. i just dont understand why he gave up all the details of his work relationship. hmmmm, stupid maybe? now she has to wonder everyday about what they’re doin’.

anyhoo, if i were her i would act as if. act as if nothing was going on, cause there aint a dayum thing i can do about it.

disclaimer - if it were four years ago, my post would of stated different.

By kimmie

November 13, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

Dan - I value my male friendships immensely. If you ask them they would say the same thing.

But you know when things have crossed the line. I get along wonderfully with my male coworkers and occasionally we go to lunch and talk about our SO’s and family and whatnot. There’s still that invisible line that neither party has crossed over into the emotional intimacy area. The separation is extremely clear. If ever we were to cross that line, it would only be a matter of time before the physical would go down. There’s no getting around it. And no matter how discreet you try to be, others around you can feel the tension and know what’s going on.

In Blanca’s friends case, the coworker chick knows dude has a girlfriend, but hey they are not married, so she figured she would go for hers. There is no going back to the way things were! She crossed the line. If dude put her in check and she respects that, things will still never be the same. But he is disrespecting her because obviously he cares more about coworker and their budding “relationship” than the one he already has. Her discomfort does not concern him. Suppose the tables were turned, how would he feel? Bet your last dollar he would kick her to the curb for disrespecting him & the relationship!

By Jadrien

November 13, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

First off, good morning to Amazon Red, M’Karyl, Truth, Dan, and Leggs. Been a couple of weeks since i been on here. How is everyone? I haven’t really been in a situation like that, but kind of similar when i was in high school. I just started working at Piggly Wiggly and almost at the same time started dating this girl that had came to church with one of my home girls a few times. But, the girl was jealous because there was a girl at work that liked me and my friends at work used to tease me about it. It didn’t matter to her that i never even as much as said hi to the girl, she just didn’t like me working around her. I’m not going to lie, the girl at work was fine as hell, but i was REALLY into my girl and i just wasn’t interested in her or any other girl at the time.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

You got it Raqi is all I can say!

By Dan

November 13, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

@Raqi

That’s just not me, if another man is flirting with my lady and she doesn’t shut it down, then that’s on her.

And if a woman is flirting with me, I hardly even notice anymore and my lady sees it, she should have the same confidence in me to shut it down.

@Leggs

Question NBF, does “thinking about all the possibilities” invite more conjecture and suspicion where none may exist?

It would appear to me that it does.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

And also gently grab his hand or touch his arm in a way to say, “don’t go to far Fido” all while smiling and having a cordial conversation with them both.

yep! you go girl.

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

That’s why Mase has a hickie one his chest and another on his belly right now. So any intruders will know “look b!tch you messing with a crazy woman’s property. Now step the hell off.” LOL

LOL Raqi, I surely do understand. That’s why I don’t even hate when some girl thinks it needs to be done to me. LOL

Shaw-T, to each his/her own.

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

Dan you missed it. Women know women and men know men. The actions of a man clearly seen by another man is not always that clear to a woman.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

….whistling….

These dudes can try to twist this mess up all they want to, talking about woman dictating who they’re friends with and all that BS. They know when they’re not being right and shyt is about to go down. Like I said, they can check a chick when they want to.

Hey kimmie! throwing the peace sign up

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

I see on CNN where a basketball team, the Nets I believe, are offering free tickets to their unemployed fans if they send in a resume. They then plan to send the resumes to their corporate sponsors and a few hundred other companies…umm, interesting.

By MELO

November 13, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

thanks M’Karyl, im looking up the schools online and i dont read what i wanna hear(all they want is my money,nothing detailed about the merits of the school/programs).If anybody has a good/bad experience, please share it with me if u can or write to me: takpat78@gmail.com.Dont need a degree,just a certificate:quick and dirty kind of thing on anyone of those subject courses.Tnx! On topic: a wife at wrk? i will proly vibe with an elderly kind of lady,somebody who can give me something on the inside about females.Any body my age group, i will proly pass coz if u get too near me,u end up up-ended.Unless thats the route im deciding to take, i would rather stay away from that.That causes a lot unhappy drama!

By DuShawn

November 13, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

I used to work with a chick that I really liked. She was cute, so hood, and mad cool. Our lunch break discussions would be like Nat Turner and Harriet Tubman planning our escape from the corporate plantation. We really enjoyed one another’s company. She was a single mom and I was a married Dad. We never overstepped the boundaries, but occasionally we would harmlessly flirt. I mentioned her to my wife and told her how similar their personalities were. She said she wanted to meet her. In the back of my mind, I’m immediately plotting the ménage. I set it up, they met and became friends. That was a couple of years ago. Now, our kids go to the same school, she and wifey hang out often. The ménage never jumped off and probably never will. As a matter of fact, she invited us to her crib to watch the election results the other night. She is one of realest females I’ve ever met. My wife senses I dig her a little too much. It’s a strange dynamic when we’re all together. Admittedly, I am a slimy dude, but even I, wouldn’t try one of my wife’s friends behind her back. Unfortunately, my efforts to get it poppin with the threesome were not well received. Imma just get in were I fit in and see how it plays out.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

M’karyl i heard about that on the radio this morn. It’d be great if they could give that deal at the grocery store.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

continued - if this so-called work relationship is what she thinks it is, invite the huzzy over for dinner and ask her to bring her man! if she got one. i mean they work together and the only way the relationship will cease is if one of them quit, right? well, mix yo butt right up in there with them. knowing her she’ll decline or say her man is working or whatever. but while she’s over for a lil suppa, do a raqi on her azz!

in other words, get involved.

By kimmie

November 13, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

Hey sister Cee - These guys know what time it is! Don’t start nothing won’t be nothing.

I am confident as all get out, but I’m just not going to stand around and be disrespected. My SO’s feelings are always going to come before some random coworker friendship.

We’re going for our gold belts this weekend!

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

…In Blanca’s friends case, the coworker chick knows dude has a girlfriend, but hey they are not married, so she figured she would go for hers. There is no going back to the way things were! She crossed the line. That’s it in a nutshell.

Hello Jadrien

Dan, for some of course it would. I have a girlfriend that conjures up or sorts of things that don’t exist. I’m not like that. All I’m saying is there’s nothing wrong with thinking and analyzing the days events, the days behavior, why this occurred, why that occurred. Conjuring up stuff, no I’m not done w/that.

By MELO

November 13, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

Unfortunately, my efforts to get it poppin with the threesome were not well received By the wify u mean??? coz u sayThe ménage never jumped off so at least u tried?? Do u think u will end up going behind the wify anyway??

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

Dushawn This brother right here…..sigh, Ménage?!?! Dude for the honor of the homegurl single moms, i’m glad that you ARE just gonna leave that one alone? If for nothing else, but for ole Cee. :)

By Dan

November 13, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

@Kimmie

I with you, my sister and I would clown around constantly, talk everyday, inside jokes and all.

The physical was never a problem until it was, but just becuase that “line” is breached it does not mean something is going to happen.

No means no, on both sides of the gender fence.

At the same time, though, if we cooling like that I don’t really feel you “in that way” then let it chill.

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

Hey Jadrien…good to see you back!!!

@Cee Well, it is about to get real interesting…everything in the economy is connected…and when one area falls short…the pockets of others begin to feel the pinch…ppl better look up and look within…we have not seen nor experienced that worst of what is to come…but the steadfast and faithful shall remain the same…me, nothing new…just watching the numbers around me increase abundantly…hey-ale…gonna start my own blogradiotalk.com show…lol…got lots of tips, ideas and soulutions.

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

We never overstepped the boundaries, but occasionally we would harmlessly flirt. I mentioned her to my wife and told her how similar their personalities were.

Thank you DuShawn. That illustrates an earlier point I made.

Hey Jadrien, good to see you back on.

By The Truth

November 13, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Jadrien welcome back. Did you say you’re over in Kuwait? Is that contract work? I need some info if you can. Drop me a note at atlred01@yahoo.com.

All this back and forth supposes that someone owns someone. This is not the case. If a dude isn’t happy where he is he’s going to keep other options open, as he should. Same for women. Instead of claiming someone just do you and let the chips fall where they may.

By OfficeMan

November 13, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

I love the attention my office spouse gives me. She really knows how to stroke my ego. Where was she when I was single?

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Now retail stores are bringing back layaway…lmao…up top that was how ppl got good within their means…affordably…then an abundance of credit cards cut it off…what is old in new again…lol

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

DuShawn, I too am glad you thought w/your heart and respect for your wife. You stepped back because you knew it was the right thing to do. You may not have wanted to, but that’s what love and respect is all about doing things you don’t want to do but need to do! ^5!

By DuShawn

November 13, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

Do u think u will end up going behind the wify anyway?? Hell nawww! To be honest, at this point I value her friendship way more than the azz. Ocassionally, I’ll try to put one of my potnahs up on her, but they never last.

By Poppa Grande

November 13, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

Good Morning,All

Raqi

So any intruders will know “look b!tch you messing with a crazy woman’s property. Now step the hell off.” LOL

I think that is why my then gf (now wife) used to use my hairbrush & comb even though she knew that I hated it. Then then leave them on my bathroom vanity of my apartment with her long stringy hair that couldn’t possibly be mine. She knows that it still gets on my nerves when she does that.

on topic

There are some good men that still exist today that resist the urge of the new new. But that does not stop some women from pursuing what they have no rightful claim to. So it’s up to the men to keep those pursuers in check. Don’t play with fire.

I stole Raqi’s paragraphs because it is tough typing with this darn brace on my wrist…Stupid Carpal Tunnel syndrome.

By Dan

November 13, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

@Raqi

My “sister” would meet the women I was dating (except when it was inter-company) and the vibe would be fine. Each knew their respective roles, as in if girly had met the homeboys and saw us interact, she’d see the same thing with me and “sis”.

So there was no threat, “sis” never pushed it or the women, consequently no issues.

@Du

I hollered “thank you” out loud becasue I wouldn’t be the one to start the talk about the “menage”, but know my knocka that I was right there with you!!!

By Jadrien

November 13, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

I don’t know, i guess workplace romance isn’t my type of thing. I have worked with plenty of attractive women in my job, but just couldn’t see myself in a relationship with them. I seen it a lot when i was on the ship. It’s REALLY messy when things don’t work out, especially if one of them is the supervisor.

By Shaw-T Lo

November 13, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

melo

mayne, i agree 100%. you come that azz this way trynna be “just friends”, imma introduce you to my “little friend.” he likes meeting new pudsy.

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

Beau sent me a email a couple weeks ago letting me know that an attorney at his company took him out for a business lunch at the Palms Restaurant. He told me this without prompting and said he’d thought I’d really like that place.

After asking if he had a good time and got his network on, I put it out of my mind. I certainly wasn’t gonna stress myself out about it. But I was glad that he told me.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

in the past, i would trip. but today, i would take advantage of the situation. have y’all ever heard of a relationship at home being great because of a relationship he has to deal with outside of the home?

By MLL

November 13, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

You’ve got to be very careful since some co workers live out fantasies looking for co workers to fill in where their SO doesn’t. As for B’s friend she knows what she’s doing by setting the stake high for her co workers girlfirend.

By Jadrien

November 13, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

Truth, actually i’m in Bahrain right now. Not a contractor, in the military. But, if you are interested in contract work, i can try to ask around and find out some information for you.

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

You’ve got to be very careful since some co workers live out fantasies looking for co workers to fill in where their SO doesn’t.

MLL, that sounds like the good ole 80/20 rule! LOL

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

Of course Beautiful. Can also work for married couples and one all the other spouse steps out. In some cases it strenghtens the marriage and in others it breaks it like a thirst craved twig!

By MELO

November 13, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

I had a similar experience years back when i was with the bank.I wasnt married but was in a committed relationship with my current wife.We met downstairs during our lunch break in the wing/cafe that pple from the bank frequented.From henceforth we became a cple during lunch/breaks.She had a boyfriend and she told me that when she told her boyfriend about me, he wasnt too pleased and had some misgivings and he would tease her every now and ask her about the african friend.But i think she had a deeper attraction than she admitted to the boyfriend.One day,in our break room, i was holding an Xmas catalog from one of these dept stores and was looking at some cute female items i was planning on getting for my girl and she leaned over and said maybe u can get me that for xmas.I replied and what do i get in return She said * dont know*,thats when the flood gates opened coz i knew that was an invitation to hit that!We arranged to baptize that booty on the satrday that both of us were wrking overtime. Needless to say, i balked at the last minute and called it off.Soon after, i left the bank. And there ended my real flirtation with co-wrkers.I try not to do it coz they always end up complicating things for me.Coz i can be smooth even when she starts off innocently close.

By Dan

November 13, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

@MLL

Coworker or not, if you looking for that “fill in” you looking.

Work just happens to be the easiest place to start.

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

DuShawn That is it right there. Any friends of the opposite sex must be “OUR” friends. If not then they must go bye bye.

By mqew

November 13, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

Morning all

Sounds like dude is just chilaxing. Not really giving a flying fig about nuttin, including his girl.

There was this guy at my old gig that would come to our office suite often to visit after doing phone work for the office. He would always comment on my feet heeled sandals in the summer that they looked nice. Well, my hubby would always compliment as well and one day I was like, “What’s with men and feet, why do I always get compliments on my feet?” He was like who’s complimenting you. I told him, and he was instantly offended. He explains that, to some, seeing a woman’s feet in open or sandled shoes, in nice shoes, is almost like seeing breastescest. He advised that dude was up to no good. I was like, naaaa, he’s not trying to hit. Long story short, dude ends up bringing me some shoes. I cut that short, checked him. There was no way in hayo I was tellin SO. Mainly, cause I get tired of his big head when he’s right…. he calls alot of stuff.

AND

Dude ended up being fired because he reportedly touched some ones feet.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

there’s a possibility that he is attracted to her this women he works with. being with her … would it make him feel proud and happy about what he has at home? because if he was cheating on her, he wouldn’t share with blanca’s friend the office relationship.

By MLL

November 13, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

Dan normal guys do plot deep LOL…

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

That is it right there. Any friends of the opposite sex must be “OUR” friends. If not then they must go bye bye.

Raqi, I agree. Especially if you meet them after we’re together. All of his friends have become my friends. If things don’t work out, I guess he can have em back. LOL

By Keep it real!

November 13, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Good Afternoon peeps!

Kimmie: That dude you were dating was not for you!

Sometimes Chemistry with another woman is right in our face and we are just putting off making a mature decision.

Men and Women make up their mind when they really want something so no one should string another person along while they are figuring out who they want to be with!

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

You know, ole boy could simply be telling his gf that there’s someone else interested in him, and she needs to step up her game.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

does anyone have a dog who burps? that dayum chewy! gross.

i feel that this guy is doing nothing wrong. he is doing what is natural to him. now that huzzy biitch tramp … that’s the one who is up to no dayum good! i dont trust the heffa.

By DuShawn

November 13, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

The receptionist in our office is ridiculously fine. I’ve been lusting after this girl since the day I met her. On Casual Friday’s, when she’s in them jeans….my goodness! I’m so physically tempted; I rarely speak to her and definitely can’t look at her for very long. I’m embarrassed to admit my perverseness, but sometimes when she walks by, I’ll get up and pretend I have a destination in the same direction just to walk behind that azz. Dayum…I need help.

By MLL

November 13, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

There are some office crushes going on too, being slick trying to get a feel by giving you hugs everytime they see you.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

they have been working together for how long? she prolly knows more about him than blanca’s friend does. and the co-worker hasn’t made an attempt to meet her? you know he has mentioned b’s friend to her.

see what he started. lol

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

yep leggs!

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

DuShawn, I, of course, do not know you or the dynamics of your marriage.

But if I were your wife, I wouldn’t be worried about you. You’ve been married a good while, I’d think it would be a little natural to lust a bit after a beautiful woman.

You seem to value what you have at home and that’s important. (as well as self control)

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

hi MLL! i will be buying this xmas the movie with chris brown. when he breaks down and sings … i feel all warm inside. :-)

By MELO

November 13, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

someone else interested in him, and she needs to step up her game heck leggs, i tell my wife smething like that,not in terms of smeone being attratced to me but about how freaky u’all are and hw i can get some of that from uall if she slips on her game.That instantly brings her freaky azz back in check! lol And i think im the type of guy who would naturally go out of line for azz if i my wife were to overwork herself to the point where she does not give me attention in the bedroom.Ive told her, u got to keep ur eye on the money alright but my dizzle and home is number one! Keep it in balance.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

(as well as self control) sorry, but that’s funny.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

It’s all about self-control…that’s all! Lusting, walking behind someone, finding a way to be in the cafeteria the same time they are is all good. SELF-CONTROL will rule both head!

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

@Ared

No doubt it is truth about DS…I went to a party at my neighbor’s a few weeks ago…both her husband and her brother openly admit that I am a very fine and sexy sister…in front of their wives…and the sisters acknowledge that this it true too…neither one feels that it takes away from them as women…and the honesty lets them know that their men have no hidden intentions…point being that just because a man, who is committed, can acknowledge that another woman is attractive does not mean he is going to or has to act on that recognition…once they put what they thought out in the open…no one had anymore questions to ask or answer.

By MLL

November 13, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

Hi Angie chris brown is such a cutie in person.

By mqew

November 13, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

MLL There are some office crushes going on too, being slick trying to get a feel by giving you hugs everytime they see you. YES, THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK.

DU Back away from the receptionist booty LOL!

By MLL

November 13, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

5 ^^^ Leggs self control.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

self control is staying away from that person and not interacting with them unless there’s a need to. making up excuses to bump into them or go to the soda machine at the same time is not self control. well, to me it isn’t.

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

but about how freaky u’all are and hw i can get some of that from uall if she slips on her game.

melo I laughed hysterically at this. Who’s chasing after you on here?

I can’t believe she’s so easily influenced either.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

there’s a married man at my job who is very phine and so my type. the day i found out he was married, i stopped everything … the walk bys, the eye contact, the hellos. i have respect for his wife. a person i dont even know.

By MELO

November 13, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

Who’s chasing after you on here? I mean it as in african america females.And she has african american female wrk mates who single, who tell her a lot of crazy stuff and we are always laughing about that.She knows ur reputation guys,at least soem of u.And i know that too.For some of u, a married man dont mean a thing as long as i come correct at you and tell u that upfront.Now thats some holy bullshizzle!

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

Self control is important…and anyone can excercise that option…just because we have a thought does not mean that we have to act on it…I am so tired of listening to grown arse folks excusing their accountability to constraint against the foreseen consequences…bull…and bull again…sex, spending, eating, emotional outburst, etc…we think, therefore we know…and just because it may make for an immediate feel good does not mean that it is a good outcome on the backend…I can think of a plethora of choices that I could have made for a short term pleasure, etc…but the long term end game was more detrimental to mine, or someone else’s, best interest…so as I choose for myself, I choose for all mankind…what I want to receive in the interaction with others, is what I need to first give…ppl have feelings and if my behaviors would cause that person pain for my own selfish gain…then my soul is lost from jump.

By Dan

November 13, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

Self control is not acting on mutual (or even one sided) impulses.

Staying away is self emulation and to a large degree - self deception. The “feelings” don’t go away, you remove yourself from the opportunity to act.

Self control is just that, control of one’s self in any situation

By MLL

November 13, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

M’K for me it would be the choice of words the men used infront of their wives. There’s nothing wrong with giving compliment but atleast let be tactful about it. I personally don’t know any woman who would sit back and let her man call another woman sexy infront of her.

By Hot Mamma

November 13, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

Yeah, Melo

Ain’t NOBODY trying to get WITH U!!! You always trying to get with someone on here, EVERYDAY!! So far, I can confidently report NO TAKERS on your rude/nasty advances!!!

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

For some of u, a married man dont mean a thing as long as i come correct at you and tell u that upfront.

melo, Unfortunately, I have to agree with you on that.

By Jamoca

November 13, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

Hello you all…

ON TOPIC

I definitely agree with your 11:40 Raqi. Its funny because I had a similar conversation with a friend of mine a while back regarding that particular statement. All that “reachin’ out” to either past loves and/or relationships must cease, if you are truly interested in going down a much deeper path with someone.

But my guess would be that she could have in turn felt the exact same way about me; once caught meddling around on his laptop and found his screensaver/desktop with a collage of my pics. And when she so dared asked, “who’s this”?…he replies in such a nonchalant tone, “Oh, that’s Jamoca”…and keeps it moving.

My point being, it’s less of a confusion to be clear with your actions, for they’ll speak so loud that I would not be able to hear a dayum thang you’re sayin’ anyway.

A tough choice indeed when it comes to deciding on whether you’d rather have a pound cake -vs- red velvet, but why put such strain on your digestive tract through greed and indecisiveness…and have the nerve to wonder why you were unpleasantly awakened late night with the runs. Just messy.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this

The “feelings” don’t go away

oh, but you are so wrong. they do and have! i do not or have ever desired a married man.

By MELO

November 13, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

So far, I can confidently report NO TAKERS on your rude/nasty advances!

Hw do u know so,confidently Mamma???

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

@MLL

It was in no way rude or disrespectful to their wives…in fact, the wives also compliment me on how well I dress and look…what the brothers conveyed was that I was an attractive and intriguing woman…point blank…not as a point of interest, but rather as a point of observation…more so wondering why I choose to stay single when I obviously have options…hey-ale, they even talk about how men carry themselves…the whole group does…in that they like to give brothers and sisters their props…the point being, it that just because we can observe another person’s attractiveness, sexiness, or whatever…does not mean that we have to attach an actual action of pursuit to it…what is…is…and unless you Ray Charles or the 5 blind Boys from Alabama…then you can see that…I have foudn that when ppl are honest and transparent with their SO’s, then they usually do not have any hidden intentions…another example is that my friend always compliments me on how well I can interact with her husband in geekdom conversation…she is not an intellectual…yet she is intelligent…but she knows how well he enjoys engaging in certain types of conversations…with me or anyone…what I like most about this group of ppl is that it is diverse and they keep it real.

By star1

November 13, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

@TRUTH, regarding yesterday’s discussion about guns, can u teach me?

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

Don’t think that’s what Dan was saying Beautiful.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

for me … he was no longer desirable or my type after seeing the wedding pics on his desk. i said to myself next!

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

Hmm…Beau has this married frat brother that is always complimenting me to him. He’s made it known to me, everytime I see him, that if I were down he would totally cheat on his wife with me. Apparently she was not on her j-o-b. eyeroll There is not a snowball’s chance in hell I would ever go there with him, and of course I’ve told Beau what his intentions are. Then again, I’ve never seen or met his wife. So it’s a bit different.

In any case, he finally knocked his wife up and had a kid and he’s been completely appropriate since he’s become a dad. Good that these things have a way of working themselves out. LOL

By Jamoca

November 13, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

OFF TOPIC

HA!! smh Of course I ain’t raisin’ no dayum hogs! So I guess when a person mentions how they made/baked a fat cheesecake from scratch, we’re to naturally assume they’re raisin’ cattle? Come ‘on, naaah…folks in disbelief b/c there are a few of us lil’ youngins runnin’ around, who actually know how to throw down…and don’t mind! LOL!!! I welcome any n’ all challengers on this here!

Du/Shaw-T Lo

since time did not allow me to reply back….

Regarding “the skins” …also referred to as pork casings, which comes from chitlins’ or rather the lining of the intestines…I get those from the butcha’s (meat sto’). They’ll even grind it for you, but since I use my own concoction combined with my grand-daddy’s or even in this case, some friends from N.O… Don’t get me started on this here… But really, I’m dead azz…if you have a garage, shed or a little smokehouse (which is even betta)…heyal some folks just do this in their refrigerators (not really my pref). I stay in the meat store around certain times of the year. One trick is to seal the casing with fat, and though it’s pretty tricky and a pretty long process (tho’ it’s worth it), it is not unusual for the meat to be in the danger/unhealthy stage at least some of the time, at least until it’s cooked, but every batch is somewhat of a different experience, depending on the weather ….we bag ‘em and just let them babies age for several weeks, while sampling little by little, until we were satisfied with the flavor …and BAM!

But I did not mind, b/c it was all for my grandmother and I had folks to impress, even though gannie already knew, (since I pitched the idea to her in Feb and got the process up and running mid-to-late March) but her aunts were not aware of this, since I really had not seen them since I was a little girl. So some of the ‘ol heads were really surprised when they found out I did all of the cooking myself, especially with the more time consuming dishes. So I see you’re just testin’ me on what I already know, now what else?…. now sitting my elbows on the table, while resting my face on my knuckles…

Tatas I stay strapped, but I’m thinkin’…him not ready. So therefore, I’ll remain on *cruise control.

By Hot Mamma

November 13, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this

Melo

Cause you’s a bottom feeder. Like alot of others.

By MLL

November 13, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

Do tell melo LOL

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

moca i read that too and thought to myself how he know she can’t get down?

By MELO

November 13, 2008 12:55 PM | Link to this

Cause you’s a bottom feeder yep,the last time i checked,ur pudsy is somewhere dwn there,close to the bottom.U just have an obsession wit me,admit it and wld be happy to talk to me one on one.Dont fight the feeling!!

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 12:55 PM | Link to this

i wouldn’t be surprised if melo did get some blog booty. go melo!

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

Go melo? Really?

:-/

By DuShawn

November 13, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

Jamoca Ain’t nuttin like a woman that knows how to handle a sausage.

By OfficeMan

November 13, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

Well I must admit, I’m a bottom feeder too. I go home and the wife just looks at me as if I’m a piece of furniture. No interaction whatsoever unless it’s about God. My office spouse makes me feel good and she looks good too. When I’m with her, my self esteem is up among something else that is up.

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

@jamoca

Chile…it ain’t you…some folks is amazed that there are women like us who can make it from scratch…that is how I learned to cook and still find recipes for such…some ppl just done forgot the old school rule…I have benn cookin gofr 40 years…and I truly prefer, when able, to do evrything from scratch…meat grinders can be bought, sausage skins can be bought, product to put in them can be bought…and if that is how they did it then, how come I cain’t do it like that now???…hey-ale….make my own soaps, candles, clothes, jewelry, food, whatever…got good sense…won’t be without when I can not afford the prices in the store…that is for dayuuuum sho’

By Keep it real!

November 13, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

To M’karyl,

Certain words mean something I may find you sexy but I would say you are lovely,fine or beautiful in the outfit. I would not tell you look sexy period whether infront of or not infront of my wife!

The word sexy comes from sex! That is over doing it! Of course men find women who are sexy as He double L but sometimes we need to refrain from the lusty comments out of pure respect for our women that we are with!

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

If we are still on topic…

I can’t if it was you all that I told this or my girlfriends, but the last time Mase and I took my sons to Fla. I left waiting to go into the comedy club while I went to see if my boys were doing what they were supposed to be doing.

When I returned Mase had made to new ‘friends’ or rather four new friends as far as he is concerned. He is an admittedly fan of fuller breast and the two women that were standing there talking to him had them. And was flaunting them. That’s cool. We were in Fla. People tend to dress less in warmer states.

When I walked up he told the women I was his wife and they spoke and what not and all was well. Well that was until one of the women stepped toward him. See that’s what I mean by disrespect. When she stepped forward he stepped back and dismissed us from the space invader. Although, I imagine, he enjoyed the view for that moment, he recognized when an inappropriate gesture took place and he did the right thing.

He was probably thinking “oh shyt let me get my crazy wife away from this woman before she snatch that weave out of her head and strangle her with it.” But I will give him the benefit of doubt and say he respects me and our marriage.

LOL I bet his eyes was started to water trying not to glance downward while we were standing there talking to those ladies.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

yea, really. i wouldn’t be surprised if one of these fake lurkers on here emailed him and took him up on his offer.

By Tazzee

November 13, 2008 1:18 PM | Link to this

Afternoon folks!

As usual, Raqi put it down early. No need for me to comment.

Never had an office spouse. The first time I ever heard that term was from the original MIA

There was this guy at my last job and I saw the potential for us to become friends. Having gotten caught up with a married man at work before (what started as an innocent friendship), shortly thereafter I befriended his wife (then fiance) and she and I have been hella cool ever since.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

thanks raqi! that’s what i was trying to explain earlier. he did the natural thing … and in no way can you trust that women.

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

The word sexy comes from sex! That is over doing it!

Keep it real I concur. There is a more appropriate way to provide compliments.

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

yea, really. i wouldn’t be surprised if one of these fake lurkers on here emailed him and took him up on his offer.

And why would you applaud that?

By Hot Mamma

November 13, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

Melo

Yeap,that how they like it, nice and deep.

Nawh, not all u’s just funny as that uncircumcised dizzle you walk round wit.

By MELO

November 13, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

i wouldn’t be surprised if..ill keep u guessing then,u and mamma and proly envious too..lol

By Jamoca

November 13, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

Du you silly mayne…LOL! But your honesty and consistency is not only pref’d but so appreciated…and I’ll venture to say, even when you dead wrong.

…and at times barbaric, Truth hahaha!…Wassup? btw, I see you’re seriously setting up camp, to get the heyal outta dodge. Can’t say that I blame you.

moca i read that too and thought to myself how he know she can’t get down?

My uncle has already asked my mom and I to cater Thanksgiving since he usually holds this particular festivity at his house, but with three families under one roof…which will be approx 60-70 people. This will be interesting.

…but I’m looking forward to the real festivities afterwards.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

OfficeMan, sorry to hear about your situation. That’s a recipe for disaster…it’s only a matter of time (am I right)?

By NoGood

November 13, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

This man knows what he is doing. Either the SO is becoming a b*&%h or she’s male “companions” and he told her to put her in check in case she decides to do something. No man in his right mind will ever tell their SO if another woman is hitting on the.

By Crystalclear

November 13, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

This is so funny while also coincidental. I heard this topic on the radio. I too have an at work husband. He also has a girlfriend that I appreciate and respect. The three of us tease back and forth about the odd situation. I think we have a mutual friendship and respect (my at-work husband and I). He has been with the company longer than I so he knows all the ropes. I cook for him to show my appreciation. We have each others back. With all of the company politics that go on it is nice to know there is someone to talk to when the job gets stressful.

By DuShawn

November 13, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

Personally, I don’t have the time or energy to start an office romance. I have to rush straight home after work and take care of my kids so wifey can go to class. Now, if one of my co-workers wants to suck me up in the Marta station bathroom while I’m waiting on the train, I may be able to squeeze her in.

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

@Keep It Real

Whatever you may interpret is as it is…my friend said the same thing when I walked in the door…way before her husband saw me…she dresses in a very intriguing manner as well, and like me she is a clothing designer and stylist…so sexy takes on a whole different connotation in that context…some ppl get it and some ppl do not…so what…so be it…the truth is…the outfit I was wearing that night was…SEXY…period…and ppl acknowledged that…we partied, had a good time and still move on…in fact, there were several sistahs there who were SEXY in their style of dress…and maybe they told them the same thing too…I do not know, I was mingling and not paying attention to other grown folks conversations…imagine that…some folk can be real grown…and I will also say this, if I go over to their house and his wife is not there, then I do not go in…he greets me at the door and says she ain’t home…boundaries…does that mean he finds me desirable…maybe, not a new thing…does he disrespect his wife and entertain tempatation…no…he is honest and he had self control…hey-ale…there are many fine sistahs in the VA…I am just another number in line.

By MELO

November 13, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

Mamma,mine dykk head is polished.I dont have to peel that thing when mama wants to get her head game on!

By NoGood

November 13, 2008 1:29 PM | Link to this

This man knows what he is doing. Either the SO is becoming a b*&%h or she’s male “companions” and he told her to put her in check in case she decides to do something. No man in his right mind will ever tell their SO if another woman is hitting on the.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

And why would you applaud that?

i wasn’t! i was being a smart azz as usual.

melo no need for me to be someone else.

and my bucket list continues … shut up MLL! lol.

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

What I have learned about this group of ppl is that they say exactly what is one their minds as it comes out…period…to everyone about everything…they just speak real…no games and bs…it took me a minute to get used to this vibe…I like it, but I was not used to it…these are ppl with a 20, 25, 30, 40 year history with each other…me, I am the new kid on the block…it must be working for them…funny, sometimes they words they say may sound harsh or cold to an outsider…but they are REAL…and it works…yeaterday when I went to the sistah’s shop to alter a skirt…I ask her if I could use her equipment…and I did not want to get in her way…she said…yes you can you it…and you ain’t gonna get in my way…cause I will let you know…lol…fixed my skirt…HONESTY has no hidden intentions.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

Now, if one of my co-workers wants to suck me up in the Marta station bathroom while I’m waiting on the train, I may be able to squeeze her in.

see what i mean. lol. or is this not considered cheating?

By Crystalclear

November 13, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this

This is so funny while also coincidental. I heard this topic on the radio. I too have an at work husband. He also has a girlfriend that I appreciate and respect. The three of us tease back and forth about the odd situation. I think we have a mutual friendship and respect (my at-work husband and I). He has been with the company longer than I so he knows all the ropes. I cook for him to show my appreciation. We have each others back. With all of the company politics that go on it is nice to know there is someone to talk to when the job gets stressful.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

Leggs I just had a training session on Street Smarts, with some Cobb County Police Officers. And, if he didn’t say “ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR SURROUNDINGS!” like 100 times. (made me think about you & your closing posts on here.)

My company implemented this program for us because of the limited security we have in our parking garage as well as the issue with low economy and the crime rate going up 32% lst 30 days because of economy. We were very well informed of several rapes, car jacks, daytime home invasions, that has happened right around this area. These crimes had never made the news nad were very brutal as they may also be gang intiations. They mentioned that many more crooks are casing this area at a high rate b/c of the high volume of people (at home mother in paticular) that go our shopping, alone, and are at home during the day are at high risk. Also single women that are unaware of their higher risk of being attacked when going out to meet with friends and go back home for the night. There were some VERY horrible crime stories.

Three things we single women are more likely to get attacked.

Everyone Crime has already gone up at alarming numbers!!

• If you go out, watch your drink at all times.

• Don’t stop at rest areas when traveling. EVER!

• Lock all your doors when driving around town.

Don’t be fooled there is alot more new gang intiation stuff.

By Jamoca

November 13, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

and I truly prefer, when able, to do evrything from scratch…meat grinders can be bought, sausage skins can be bought, product to put in them can be bought…and if that is how they did it then, how come I cain’t do it like that now???…hey-ale….make my own soaps, candles, clothes, jewelry, food, whatever…got good sense…won’t be without when I can not afford the prices in the store…that is for dayuuuum sho’

Mkaryl this is what really stood out to me —-> how come I cain’t do it like that now???… I heard that!…and seeing that you’re venturing to anutha perspective of being dayum proud of being domesticated (if you will) …with the present/imminent rough times we’re bound to face in the near future, a slew of folks will soon wish they were more skilled in these areas…looks like they may need ‘em. Making soaps, candles and other crafts can be a lot of fun as well. Heyal, this gal can sew, hem, etc…

Much betta to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it, IMO.

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this

I heard a friend use the term work spouse for the first time a fes days ago on her radio blog…found it interesting as I tried to deconstruct the meaning…I do not know if I could refer to a co-worker as a spouse…of course, practically eschew spouse from my personal vernacular…so a work spouse would not be a good thing…if I do not want one at home…I for dayuum sho don’t want one at work…lol

By DuShawn

November 13, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this

Beautiful I’m just playing……Unless you gonna do it. lol

By MELO

November 13, 2008 1:45 PM | Link to this

Three things we single women are more likely to get attacked and then u list places:i see that ur bro-in-law’s vocab is rubbing on yu too Cee.

By Jamoca

November 13, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

Hey Cee!

By DuShawn

November 13, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

is this not considered cheating? As long as you wipe it off before you go home, it’s not cheating.

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this

@Jamoca

Much betta to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it, IMO.

Yep…like when I learned Spanish…or to sew or to cook or to do whatever…better to know and not need, than to need and not know…but as these economic times change, many ppl will find themselves looking to the old school trades and practices…some will not openly admit it…but I am glad that I had the best of all worlds growing up…I did not learn these things because finances were scarce…money was not the issue…I learned them because they intrigued my curiousity and augmented my experiental knowledge base…and now, I am ready for it all…”I’m every woman, it’s all in me”…lol

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

cee as a single parent, there are times when i have to go to the store at night especially wal-mart. i think about my safety all the time and look around before getting out the car.

but i will not allow myself to not do what i must/have to do. as far as im concerned, the punk who does decide to jump me better be ready for a good ole azz kickin’. cause this chick will fight!

if he wants my purse or car, he can have it and be on his merry way. but to jump me just to bully me … shiid.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

This is my first time hearing “work spouse.”

Cemeeli glad to hear it, cuz I truly mean it! When that hair at the nape of your neck or that quickening in your stomach is activated, pivot and change direction immediately, if possible!

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 1:52 PM | Link to this

bill … i mean du i don’t believe that you are j/k.

By Hot Mamma

November 13, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

* Melo*

You knows I loves you.

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this

DuShawn, I knew you were messing around. I also don’t believe you seriously thought your wife would be down for a threesome either. :-P

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 1:55 PM | Link to this

BTW, Cemeeli, I think all companies should impose a training session like that. We too have a police officer come here and teach us a few things. The GB is on the second floor of my building. Bonus —> they pass out pepper spray in holders for all in attendance as these sessions.

By mqew

November 13, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

Ceemee what your job did is very cool! Everyone needs that reminder!

Jamoca Hey I wanted to ask, what else did you make from scratch when you served the homemade andouille?

Du Marta station bathroom EEEWWWWWWW

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this

@Cee

Interesting that you should mention that…there was something on the news (CNN?) about a week or so ago about the number of crimes committed in Wal-Mart parking lots…all across the country…they had a long list of places where the incidents occurred…ppl steal for need or greed…and if you appear to have something that can satisfy either, then you may be an open target…especially women by themselves…I had to learn as a single woman who always went out by herself to be aware of my surroundings…you never know who is watching you.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

I believe he’s kidding cuz he knows he’s not living in utopia. Of course you can’t wipe it off. You have to wash it all. It has an odor all by itself (LOL).

Beautiful, I always look in my back seat before I get in my car. ALWAYS! Yes, even if my doors are locked.

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this

Mkaryl I get that type of relationship because I have a sharp tongues relationship with my friends. But I still say to tell a woman that she looks sexy is inappropriate coming from someone that should not be letting me know he is looking at me with sex on the brain. To me that is what sexy says. “What you are doing or wearing has me thinking about sex with you at this moment.” That inappropriate. When my husbands says “damn woman that’s sexy”, on more than a few occasions sex has been know to follow even if it’s hours later after returning home from where it is we went. Not always but it happens. When I tell my husband “you’re looking rather sexy soldier”, jumping his bones is on the brain. To restate it sexy mean you have alerted my nether region senses.

I have had a friend of my husband’s or one of my girl friends S/O tell me that a jacket looks nice or something. But sexy is so out of line.

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this

Now somebody is talking about cooking and shopping, let’s see…

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

then u list places:i see that ur bro-in-law’s vocab is rubbing on yu too

ZuluKing Because i’m nervous, and i was typing fast. Officer Scary, got me all worked up.

Melo Shat up!!! Lol…

Okay i’m back to my regular mis-spells, incorrect grammar, and slangish.

By kimmie

November 13, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

Cee - Thanks for the info - every company in the ATL should offer a seminar like that! My neighborhood association held something similiar at one of the meetings this summer.

In my martial arts class I have my instructor to show me how to use my skills in real-life situations - like if someone attacks from behind, the front, etc.

I have always been super-observant. I look under the car as I am walking toward it, someone can grab your ankles, and I always look over the back seat of the car before I get in.

By OfficeMale

November 13, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

I love it when my office spouse squeezes me in the Big Leagues and makes my eyes roll like a Las Vegas slot machine.

By MELO

November 13, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

thought your wife would be down for a threesome either. :-P now u pushing ur luck ared but who knows what Du may decide to reveal.I think my wife wld be dwn with it,if the other party is smebody she likes, and trusts that i wont turn on after.Just me thinking loud.now,nothing is confirmed.That wld be a lovely thing i tell ya….

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

ummm, this is coming from a man where he and his wife together were served up quite well by another party. no?

my bad if i mis-read.

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

I am SEXY…and I do not need anyone to tell me that…it just is…I do me…but I have to appreciate that honesty, again, is what it is…I have learned that some ppl say what they say as they mean it…no, it may not be the most diplomatic or appropriate means of conveying it…but that is what they do…okay…hey-ale…even the lesbo was sweating her girl talking to me about SQL, databases and Spanish tutoring…thought she might be vibing me out…and????…I let folks be folks and when it ain’t working for me, then I say so…another example, when the brother who was the B-Day boy at the party started dancing too clise and personal, I kept pushing him back…and when we finished dancing, I went to his wife and told her that I thought his dancing gestures were inappropriate and that he needed to keep a certain distance if he wnated to dance with me (and yes, he was one of the dudes who commmented on my sexiness)…I was not pleased with his proximity and gestures…period…do not blame me for doing me…stay out of my way…she handled it real cool…she took him outside and told him that I did not like his closeness to me…it won’t no slow drag…I do not do that with married or committed men…and when he came back, he apologized and kept his reasonable dancing distance after that….I still believe that honesty has its virtue…if I had not heard the comments, then I may have been on another vibe…hey-ale, you should of heard how the brothers talked about my arse when I went to sleep for an hour after much inebriaton (sp)…my point again, it that honesty and openess usually dissuade covert intentions…now, how ppl convey it ain’t on me…I tend to be more diplomatic and tactful…like I was with the sistah about her spouse…but put me in the wrong place and you would think that my only vocabulary came from the dictionary of foul language…lool

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

I am SEXY…and I do not need anyone to tell me that…it just is…I do me…but I have to appreciate that honesty, again, is what it is…I have learned that some ppl say what they say as they mean it…no, it may not be the most diplomatic or appropriate means of conveying it…but that is what they do…okay…hey-ale…even the lesbo was sweating her girl talking to me about SQL, databases and Spanish tutoring…thought she might be vibing me out…and????…I let folks be folks and when it ain’t working for me, then I say so…another example, when the brother who was the B-Day boy at the party started dancing too clise and personal, I kept pushing him back…and when we finished dancing, I went to his wife and told her that I thought his dancing gestures were inappropriate and that he needed to keep a certain distance if he wnated to dance with me (and yes, he was one of the dudes who commmented on my sexiness)…I was not pleased with his proximity and gestures…period…do not blame me for doing me…stay out of my way…she handled it real cool…she took him outside and told him that I did not like his closeness to me…it won’t no slow drag…I do not do that with married or committed men…and when he came back, he apologized and kept his reasonable dancing distance after that….I still believe that honesty has its virtue…if I had not heard the comments, then I may have been on another vibe…hey-ale, you should of heard how the brothers talked about my arse when I went to sleep for an hour after much inebriaton (sp)…my point again, it that honesty and openess usually dissuade covert intentions…now, how ppl convey it ain’t on me…I tend to be more diplomatic and tactful…like I was with the sistah about her spouse…but put me in the wrong place and you would think that my only vocabulary came from the dictionary of foul language…lool

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this

.I think my wife wld be dwn with it,

melo, I think your wife would be too. Seems like she’ll do whatever it takes to keep ya. Not that there is anything wrong with that, necessarily.

As for DuShawn, that was just my opinion the :-P was there for a reason. Right or wrong, I don’t care either way, it’s not my relationship!

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

Tazzee that’s what I am talking about. If she can’t be our friend, then she can’t be a friend at all. Period.

By Keep it real!

November 13, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this

Ladies try not to be on the phone when entering a car, a building at night or any place that some pervert can attack you!

These are dangerous times and you ladies need to step-up the security measures!

Beside Dushawn is on fire, you have to watch for that brother! LOL

Raqi: You drop solid wisdom everyday keep on keepin on!

If we all had great communication and honesty then it would never matter if anyone had an office buddy! But some have not reached those heights so until you are honesty and converse openly with your spouse avoid all tight skirts and handsome suits!

By MELO

November 13, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this

I ordered box loads of some Hanky Panky Signature Lace Retro Bralette, Hanky Panky Color Play Low Rise Thong - 5 Packs,Bra straps and other female Accessories for my store in snellvilee for this Xmas.This is stuff coming outa europe and NY and very hot and fly.My wife never wants me to be in the shop without a trusted female companion of hers. Coz females are always rubbing on me,flirting and tching me when they come in the shop!

By mqew

November 13, 2008 2:30 PM | Link to this

Emiril just made shrimp cakes with roasted shrimp sauce… next is lamb shanks

That’s not right…

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

wow! would i do ANYTHING for my husband? ladies hear say you.

a threesome can effect the marriage either way … good or bad.

i honestly dont know.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this

kimmie This offer from my work-out class instrutor as well as this seminar has inspired me. I think i will go ahead and attend that kickboxing & self defense class next Saturday. the company offered it to first come first serve

I’m so glad one of my neighbors is a flight attendant and her schedule varies. She will tell you when a stray cat has been sniffing around. I look out for her as well. There’s a guy that works at night and he has a watchful eye too. We have our neighborhood watch working at best.

By kimmie

November 13, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

One of my good friends’ husband is sort of a geek. He & I hit it off right away. We talk about landscaping and gardening most of all and can talk for hours about dif types of grass, fertilizer, etc. We also love music & sports. We sometimes debate to the point of yelling or falling out laughing. Now that my SO is in the picture, he & her hubby geek out together. All parties involved know they have zero to worry about. Nobody has ever crossed the line. We seem to think alike and have the same moral values and respect for boundaries. Its great having friends like that.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

Melo, have you lost your mind???

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

Coz females are always rubbing on me,flirting and tching me when they come in the shop!

melo, you enjoy the attention from females and wish you could act on it more often, don’t ya?

The women in that shop want your money, you know this right? LOL

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

Has anyone been online to see what ppl want per day to rent their living spaces for the inaugural activities…dayuuum…reminds me of the ATL during the Olympics…shyte

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

I’m just playing……Unless you gonna do it. lol

nope. nice try though. i’ve had enough of the blog romance thang.

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

@mqew

them is horny making foods…he need to quit…lol

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

You can’t have the 3some for the marriage or for your husband, you have to have it for you! JMO!

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

The women in that shop want your money, you know this right?

lmao.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

mqew Please, girl between chomping down gourmet deli sandwhiches and about to scream at the officer for such graphic stories. I need a good lamb shanks dinner tonight!

How are you?

By Dan

November 13, 2008 2:40 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

So my female friend has to be your female friend as well? Really?

So my homeboy’s have to be your homeboy’s and your female friend has to be my friend (come to think of it….that might not be such a bad idea….menage….)

But the question I’m asking is does that door have to swing both ways? Can your friends be your friends and mine, mine? Do we have to intertwine every part of our lives?

I can’t keep a little Dan to myself?

That said, I can’t speak for other men, but you can keep your male friends to yourself, no “grown men playdate’s” for the D!

By MELO

November 13, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this

you have to have it for you! u RIGHT!!

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

@kimmie

that is what I mean…I grew up with men and women who interacted without all of this sex agenda* bull shyte…friends, neighbors, ppl…get with the real…I am so tired of these false boundary separator hater conflicts…I am such a humane, compassion and empathetic entity that my conscious is bound by a higher ground…not just secular gratification…how vulgar…pants and crotch…huh…I am not a low grade animal…SEX does not rule my RIGHTEOUS DOMINION…hey-ale…if your trigger is so easily tripped…then you better check yourself for a leak…in the brain

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

You can’t have the 3some for the marriage or for your husband, you have to have it for you! JMO!

Ooooh…KinkyLeggs. LOL.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

I can’t keep a little Dan to myself?

no, you cannot. especially if we’re married. i dont understand your way of thinking sweetie.

By mqew

November 13, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

Hey Ceemee I’m good Chica. Looking for a good gumbo recipie as the one I use I can’t make don’t have the New Orleans sausage I like, they only make it there.

Ahhhh yesss Lamb shanks, and he braised them in red wine. Anything cooked in wine is da bomb! would you eat it since you don’t partake?

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

No Dan. I am talking about friends of the opposite sex. I cannot go out and make friends with other men and keep them separate from my husband. No. Having lunch with a male coworker is one thing, but going out after work with a man proclaiming that he just a friend? It ain’t gonna happen…With me or my husband.

What do I look like telling husband 8 o’clock in the evening “hey I’ll be back in a few hours, Henry and I are going to hang out for a while”?

That’s what my female friends are for. Socializing outside of the marriage.

By MELO

November 13, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

*you enjoy the attention from females * yes and no.Being my customers, i try to be customer friendly and give them the best customer service.And u knw females are always trying to get a deal so they will want to pass somme sly comments and swing their booty like this and like that,just to get ur attention and maybe get u off ur script and let them leave with some piece for a song.So far, it has not wrked but im jus saying…And on saturdays, i always go there looking my best so that my customers,besides coming to buy their fav stuff,they know, that tall phine bro will be behind the counter and smelling good.It wrks,if u go by the foot traffic alone!

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

No one is saying you have to spend every waking minute with the friend. The guys can still do their man things w/out the company of the wives.

The difference is, you shouldn’t have male or female friends, especially made after the marriage, that your spouse knows little to nothing about. Your friends should know your spouse and vice versa.

Keeping them hidden gives me flash backs to scenes in Brokeback Mountain. LOL.

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this

@Ared

Well…if you ain’t in it for you..then why do the do of a 3…uh…whatever one does, one must have a need satisfied in the exchange…some folks like it that way, some folks do not…now, if your man wants a 3 and you want a 2, then somebody need to redo the math…it won’t work…period…lol…I had a freak friend and she found lots of spouses willing to pay her for a mutually desired 3-some…but she said in the cases where the sifey did not want it, but went along to pleasse her mate…the vibe and interaction was definitely different…imagine that…like all sex…everybody in the game gotta wanna play.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 2:56 PM | Link to this

As long as you wipe it off before you go home, it’s not cheating.

Dushawn! You better had been laughing, “jokey-joke” when you posted this mess!!!

I’m so done with you!

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

@mqew

Oh shyte…lamb in red wine…how divine…can we say delish…I had about 10 lamb chops given to me last week…can we say that I was in heaven….yuummmm!!!!

By mqew

November 13, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

MK Horny foods INDEED.

I think my SO knows these celebrity chefs could GET IT!!! LOL

j/k bnr

By Jamoca

November 13, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

Okay Mqew you’ve got me reminiscing about that all over again, and I mean hawwd!…LOL!

Let’s see…
crab shulah, cajun boiled king crab and crawfish, salmon/ crawfish croquettes , crab cakes, deep-fried garlic oysters, chkn andouille gumbo, cuban roast pork w/ spanish yellow rice and black beans, pecan-crusted chkn dressing (to go with stewed hen), empanadas, mac n’ cheese, spinach casserole, collard/ turnip greens, fresh (smoked) turkey legs/wings, seafood pasta, freshly blended salad dressings, my own concoction of seafood breader for the following: tilapia, grouper, flounder, cod…and that ‘ol skool mullet, shrimp scampi with fresh garlic/butta sauce, okra n’ tomatoes, fried okra, cajun corn, parmesan crusted chicken fillets laced around a vegetable tray, spring rolls made my hand, smoked salmon dip…

….OMGawwwd! need I say more, gurl. …oh desserts! Cheesecake with vanilla almond crust, rum pie, choc luvin’ kahlua cake (to die for), ‘ nana puddin’, sweet potatoe pies, pound cake, bourbon pecan pie! Pina colada ambrosia cake!

Alright naah!…I got the munchies, now! LOL! This was A PROCESS!!!…and a lot things had to be prepped before hand, of course. Good thang, gannie had two fridges and a nice size kitchen. For the most part it went like clock work, but the real work was the clean up.

Mkaryl LOL! That reminds me how some of the spanish folk get snappy with me, b/c they say I need to learn my native tongue, but look at me crazy when I say: but I’m not spanish, but I know I really need to learn the language more fluently….since I only know a few words here and there. So best believe I’ll be hitting you up real soon! LOL!!!

By Dan

November 13, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

@Raqi/Angie/Ared

So, if I have a new female co-worker…and we get friendly (platonically) and I just want to grab a few drinks after work with, that’s a no?

She’s met “the wife” and all…

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

Well…if you ain’t in it for you..then why do the do of a 3…

M’Karyl, it’s all N/A to me cuz it ain’t going down like that for your girl. No interest in a 3…lol

Leggs, had a point, I wasn’t trying to say otherwise. LOL

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

dan that’s funny. and y’all gonna be alone? i’m really laughing out loud over here.

By MELO

November 13, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

Anybody here in foreclosure??

By DuShawn

November 13, 2008 3:08 PM | Link to this

That threesome shyt when you’re married is a dangerous game, even for grown folks. I’ve written about the subject in this forum on several occasions. If your girl got a girlfriend, it can be a beautiful thing. However, it’s still a slippery slope even for the most experienced playa. One has to subtly facilitate that shyt, all while maintaining an attitude of total disinterest. When attempting to get it poppin, patience is truly a virtue. If you know like I know, you really want to be left out. Trust, they will call when their ready for you. That should be sold, not told

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this

Beautiful *”…would i do ANYTHING for my husband?”

No I would not. It gets to a point where he or I must choose what is most important. If he ever asks me to do something (threesome, beasts, inflicting pain) that I am against he has to either accept that I will not do it or be out.

My husband and I have a great sense of communication. We trust either to confide in one another. We enjoy each other’s company. We have an awesome sex life, most of the time LOL. And we pretty much share the same outlook on life. All of that and much more. We have built a nearly 8 year relationship based on those attributes. If he is willing to throw all of that out the window just because I will not participate in something I am not into nor feel comfortable with, then he is welcomed to go…to the left, to the left. It’s the 80/20 rule.

(I can have another you in a minute…)

The same goes for me. Am I willing to give up the good thing I have for a lesser thing that does not measure up to the now? Ummm Nope.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

Hey, no offense taken…a spade is a spade!

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

@ARed

Ain’t saying the 3 is it for me either…but like Leggs said…if you do it…do it for you…if what make your boat float ain’t sinking mine…then fine…FLOAT ON…just make sure everybody bought a ticket to get on the same boat…otherwise, somebody need to take anoter FANTASTIC VOYAGE…ya know.

By The Truth

November 13, 2008 3:12 PM | Link to this

Cee/Kimmie when doing real scenario self defense training make sure the instructor calls you outside of your name. Alot of women, and some men, mentally lock down when an assailant gets verbally abusive, which 100% do. I’ve seen it happen. You have to train just like its going to happen in real life or its not effective.

Star yes I will.

Jam so you really know how to work that sausage huh? LOL

By mqew

November 13, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this

AHHHHH SEE Jamoco I KNEW THERE WAS MUCH MORE TO THAT MENU

SOUNDS DEVINE

Next time, please let me help so I can partake LOL

j/k bnr simplynd@gmail.com

Oh, wait… are even in GA?

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

I do not even know why a person who has a good thing with another would even want to check out the other…????

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

Exactly. I speak it, not sure if I too will ever do, but if I do I know I’m doing it to serve me not him!

DuShawn, you’re absolutely correct. That’s why I don’t necessarily feel married couples should be involved in 3somes. It’s a very, very tricky balancing act.

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

Dan, am I welcome to join you even if I chose not to? Would I be welcome to stop by?

If I’ve met her, and feel comfortable, sure, why not. As Raqi said, women know other women, and I hope I’d know my man.

In addition, am I given the same consideration with a male co-worker I may want to have drinks with after work?

By Poppa Grande

November 13, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

AR/Leggs

*You can’t have the 3some for the marriage or for your husband, you have to have it for you! JMO!

Ooooh…KinkyLeggs. LOL. *

No Truer words have been spoken…

By mqew

November 13, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

Dan So, if I have a new female co-worker…and we get friendly (platonically) and I just want to grab a few drinks after work with, that’s a no?

It depends on alot. If we don’t have kids —-> I’d expect it to only be A drink otherwise I’d expect an invite. AND, if yall only had one drink then the next time it need to be planned and include me AND preferably your new “friend” with someone else. Because married people with single friends is not really cool…

By MELO

November 13, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

Raqi granted evething is nice and dandy,but if one day M came up wit a crazzy proposal and you say hell naw and hes fine with it,would u afterwards truly have an inclination about where that came from and have ifs about his prefs or if he might wanna explore that on the low low without u knwing?? (disclaimer,just a qs to hear u opine on that(to use an Oreilly favorite)

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

mqew yes. I have had dishes with wine that would make me change some thangs about my life. :0)

By M'Karyl

November 13, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

@Truth

I have heard that is real…one has to train under the real world circumstances in order to be truly prepared…I go my “M”…so many sounds mimick my name…and I have also experienced that when working in duos what will happen…like someone honking a horn to distracts your attention, while the accompliance approaches you once distracted…had that happen once…fortunately, my intuitives kicked in…I did not recoginize the car and kpet stepping…also another trick is for the distraction to stop and ask you for directions…I say if it don’t feel right…flee.

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

If “forsaking all others” is in the vows, he’d better not utter one daggone word about some threesome. Pligga neeze!

By mytwocents

November 13, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

My main work husband was tryna mingle on Matchdotcom. God Bless him for his lack of success. He only made strides when he took my advice… and I kinda enjoyed the lectures on the problems with single women in Atlanta, like myself. Good practice enduring wah wahnk wah wah with a half smile. Apparently these issues are cross cultural. But can’t imagine entertaining that with a mate at home, it’s too intimate.

Mocha Mama I.M.SO.DONE.WITCHU!

Buck It I know you ain’t scurred…

Shawty LO Uhmm how old you is?

Speaking of tutorials, a week later wonderin why my retro-tech azz got a G1. Foolishness, I say! Gotta go. Always miss the juicy ones. Topics, u pervs!

By Poppa Grande

November 13, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

AR

*Keeping them hidden gives me flash backs to scenes in Brokeback Mountain. LOL. *

That was so wrong, but fairly appropriate in the ATL.

Jam

We are planning to make a stuffed bass for turkey day

By Jamoca

November 13, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this

Oh, wait… are even in GA?

LMAO!!! You know I bust out laughin’ at that one?!!…reminds me how I tried online dating awhile back just for kicks with a very fine brutha, but he failed to remember I was in FL when he asked if he could interest me in a lil’ Mexican spot for dinner…trying to sound all dapper! LOL!!! We had the biggest laugh about that.

…but I don’t mind exchanging recipes/ techniques with ya, gurl. Will do…this here goes far beyond just soul food.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

Thanks Truth.

Okay, so i gotta be called a bench, trick, slut, and all ‘at just to get down!?! ;) For real though, i feel ya.

Oh btw- What you said about GET AS MUCH FIREARM TRAINING AS YOU CAN. Was the other thing the officer kept reinterated to us.

By Dan

November 13, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

@ARed/mqew

There’s a bar right next door (or down the street, whatever) we having drinks after work to continue a conversation. One, two, maybe more.

I’ll call and tell you.

So, does that invite the pop up?

By MELO

November 13, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

another would even want to check out the other…???? GREED!!Explains why Bill Gates and Warren are still looking for opportunities.I think at the end of the day one has to have a deeper and much more deeper understanding/relationship with God if they are to fore-go some of these earthly pleasures.Coz if u are like me and ur relatiosnsip with God is so so and fair weather,u can always rationalise why a 3sme is perfect for u.Thats why sme of our so called ministers on the fake propserity gospel circuit and yet even others are hoezz too coz they arent true to the bible. (that brings me to vernon our erstwhile conservative(phuck my azz!) democrat and un apolegetic menage luver)

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this

mytwo i cant keep up with all that stuff. my friends have the iphone and i ask them all the time dont y’all got something else better to do with your time?

its too much for me.

By kimmie

November 13, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

Truth - I so did not think about that - thanks for looking out!

Dan - We are married and you want to go out after work hours for a drink(alcoholic I presume) with a single female coworker friend alone? Um - no. That’s what singles do. If its a group, 1 drink and you heading home after - okay. Even invite me to pop in if possible. Certain things you just put away once you are married, and Dan you are not stupid, you know this. You don’t go out alone with single members of the opposite sex unless it’s a female relative. Period, no what ifs.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

Melo what kind of shop/business is that you have in Snellville?

Ordering bras and thongs and whatnot….

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

PoppaG, that sounds delicious. I’m looking to serve something other than turkey, cornish hen, or duck.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

dan still no! you are married and still behaving like you have no responsibilities at home. how old are you? please wait until all of your oats are sowed or whatever they say before you get hitched. k. i believe it’s 35 yrs old before a man is mature enough to handle marriage and everything that comes with it.

By Dan

November 13, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this

@Kimmie, et al.

I do not “know this”, I really don’t.

I can’t go out for drinks with a collegue that happens to be a female?

Is this what you’re telling me?

That as a married man, “I do” wasn’t enough?

Coming home everynight, going to work everyday - ain’t enough?

I can’t hear another female’s voice or enjoy her company without you around? Really?

Even though we “good morning(ing) it, good night(ing) it, and sometimes midday(ing) it - still not to be trusted?

If this is indeed true, I now understand why married men lie, because even the truth won’t set free the “trust” that’s in the relationship……

WOooooowwwWWW

By MELO

November 13, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed isnt it nowadays, u can customize these vows.They are doing that in hollywood right?? and i believe that has caught on cntrywide…..

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this

Dan, you’re acting like you can’t see the big picture. But, at 29 I can somewhat understand…When married, there’s no need to go out with a single female just to “kick it.” If you want to kick it, then all 3 of you kick it together. When your time comes you’ll know it and understand what the married ladies here are saying. Right now, you’re merely sowing your oats.

By mqew

November 13, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this

Nawwww Dan YOU need to invite me even if I’m clear across 285. It’s cool if you guys are finishing a work-related convo. I don’t think that’s implied… if you guys are trying to have a drink just to shoot the shyt, then I need to be there… and she need to bring someone as well

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this

melo first of all he is a man, so that eliminates the first 8 reasons out of 10 of why he would think of something. LOL And then I know he occasionally watches (p) orn, so that may give him an idea or two, and yes I will wonder about the 10th reason he would ask. But not for too long. And no I will not spend too much time wondering if he will seek out somebody that will engage in said act with him.

Like I said if it means more to him than all that I am trying to already do for the relationship then by all means go.

I didn’t end my relationship with the Nature Guy because of him not doing a special thing that I would have liked him to do. It was for many other more important reasons.

It takes too much time and energy to sit and worry about who he may be doing when not with me. And I seriously doubt if he spends too much time stressing over what or who I could be doing when not with him.

80/20, which is more important.

By MELO

November 13, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this

Dan u cannot unless its a group setting and those pple are a mix of ur wrk mates.Its all about trust even when u know,nothing is gonna jump off between u and female.Wld u not have palpitations if that were the other way and ur wife tells u she is going to have an innocent drink with her phine co-wrker.Only an openly flaming guy wld be allowed to go out with my wife,ever. Marrieage aint no joke,u got be ready for it.Otehrwise stay single and keep ur hore on..i admire u guys from my vantage position.U canhoe as many as u like a week,no problem. There was a guy on frank and wanda yeaterday who said on a bad week,he phucks about 4 chicks,no sweat!

By Jamoca

November 13, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

Truth you betta shut cho’ mouf! LOL!

PoppaG I know you saw me tell Mqew how I had the munchies, right? Now I’m just down right getting cravings for seafood (my fav)! We will you and Mrs. PG be for Thanksgiving? …and is going to handle preparing the stuffed bass or you, sounds like a man thang. And will the stuffed bass serve as the center piece, instead of Tom the Turkey?

Tatas Why come? Spits n’ giggles, chick…just spits n’ giggles… well some of it ! LOL!!!

J/K, J/K! But don’t worry, I’m still fasting on ALL pleasurable things at least for the time being. Keep hope alive! LOL!!!

By Poppa Grande

November 13, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this

Leggs

We prepare some type of seafood dish every year. It is little bit of the Coastal Carolina flair that we got.

We did the stuffed bass last year, too. It went over very well. There was a request from elderly family member. The Mrs. agreed so we do it again.

We also will make blue crab soup for Friday (give people a break from Turkey) and Shrimp & grits on Sunday morning before we push the folks out of the door.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this

and she need to bring someone as well

this was my issue four years ago. women cant find their own man! and know good and well he married.

By Dan

November 13, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this

Mqew/Leggs

I’m baffled. Honestly.

I thought the wedding was the end to the insecurity (even though GA is not a community property state), I figured at that point, we could live joint and seperate lives.

Apparently not?

By The Truth

November 13, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

Cee/Kimmie the reason a guy goes through all the name calling and gyrations is 1) To work up courage 2) To mentally dehumanize you so he can accomplish the task. A real killer doen’t need all that. He walks up and gets the job done. Also, have the decoy wear the padded suit and headgear so you can do real nut kicks and eye gouges.

Never let an assailant take you away from the location. Make him kill you right there. If nothing else just drop to the ground or run. Most 2 bit robbers haven’t planned out the robbery enough to deal with contingencies. Anything you do will make him panic or pause and thats your window.

Finally, when walking to your car take your key and put the butt in your palm with the part that goes into car sticking out between your fingers. If anyone says something IMMEDIATELY push the key through his throat or eye. You must do it fast because every second you wait and think about it makes it harder to do.

Ok, back to more serene topics. LOL

By MELO

November 13, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

Cee , a lil version of linen and things but not as well capitalized.

By mqew

November 13, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this

Jamoca I need a gumbo recipie… PLEEZE :-)

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

Damn, I want to have Thanksgiving w/you and Mrs. G. I don’t have a SO, but I’ll bring my daughter as my buffer (LOL). Naw, really, that sounds very, very good.

Dan, if you were in front of me I’ll pimp slap you’re a$$. There’s noting joint and separate in marriage. The wedding the END OF INSECURITY. You’re kidding right. As long as there’s single, unscrupulous men and women on God’s green earth, insecurity will be there. May be at bay, but it’s there nonetheless.

By Abe

November 13, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

I cannot tell a lie.. I have a coworker that just makes my “peepee” tickle!

By MELO

November 13, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

now that u mentioned porn Raqi, and i watch it too on occassion and see some stuff on there that i like,a 3 sme aint looking that bad!! I take all my confirmations/contrary opinions back Leggs But it has to be right…hmmmmm,i will take that advice seriously to queen and let her choose the right chic and i ju sit back untill the green light flicks on,per Du

By Poppa Grande

November 13, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this

Jam

We will be at one of the vacation spots of the Carolina Coast. We will catch the blue crab in the back yard. We will purchase the Bass, though. I know how she likes it stuffed, but it takes teamwork to get it all in. ;) (Leave it alone Melo!!)

We’ve got some crab already in the freezer at the spot just in case. It can be iffy this time of year with getting crab in the trap. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It is much better in the summer for obvious reasons. Alot depends on water temps.

Shrimp came from the commericial docks. We got it during the summer trip out there.

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this

melo it is situation like these where trust is very important.

And you know what I could very well say I want a man that is not moody. And can more than likely find one before the day is out. But will he have all the other traits that I know I love about my husband and learning to love more. Will the woman that agrees to a threesome with him have all the other things he already knows he love about me? I am not saying that a woman that agrees to a threesome cannot be a good woman for him or for anyone else for that matter. But what I am saying is we both know what we already have in each other and those things has gotten us 8 years. Those things have keep us together. If one of us walks out tomorrow in search of that one or two things out of 10 we lose what we have now.

Yes we can maybe find certain traits in another mate, but that mate will not be the person we are with now. It might be a man that is not moody however has poor work ethics. My husband’s work ethics trump his moodiness, for example. The same is true the other way around.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

good luck sweetie with finding a true women who wants to live joint and seperate lives.

please dont have kids.

By kimmie

November 13, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

Dan Yeah Dan, you do know. You really do. You read like an intelligent guy. You are not that naive. You have to back the “I do” and the “forsaking all others” with action. Avoid even the appearance of impropriety. If losing out on your freedom to roam is such a concern, remain single.

The thing is, you may have all the good intentions in the world, but mix alcohol and aloneness up in the mix and you are playing with fire and sending mixed messages.

Be honest with yourself and really think about this. You and your wife may have the great relationship in the world and trust implicitly. How would you feel if she was always wanting to hang out alone with some dude, collegue or not. Finish your conversation at work, attend designated networking events. I’m sure your career does not depend on you going out for drinks. Find a male collegue you can chat with after hours.

I used to think like you, all trusting and bought the okey doke that was being sold to me. Probably why I’m still technically single.

WOWwwwwwwwwww!!LOL!!

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 4:02 PM | Link to this

kimmie What are you contesting with Dan for, about his relationship? First of all, Dan will be marrying a hella fly Amish chic she wont know about anything outside the chick pea farm….and she darn sho’ betnot say nothing about a wedding cake!

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

That’s right Melo, sit back and wait until she’s comfortablel and you get the invite from her, not her friend! I think this is how it works (ROFLMAO).

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

Truth yea, i remember never leave with the asilant from the scene of the attack 99.9% he planning to take you somewhere and do more harm or kill you. He also said too the women, kicking is more harmful becuase chances are our upperbody is not strong enough to handle a crook.

Thanks for the info.

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

We prepare some type of seafood dish…

I think we’ll have baked tilapia for dinner tonight.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 4:10 PM | Link to this

Sorry, but that “chick pea farm and no cake” was very, very funny!

By Jamoca

November 13, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this

Is this seafood gumbo or ckn andouille…or a combination? Are you pretty good at making roux? …that right there is critical. Mess that up and you hold up the entire process. But I’ll hit you up on your addy this eednin’. :-)

By Poppa Grande

November 13, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this

I was involved in a few menages prior to meeting the Mrs.

They were overrated in my book. Two chick begging and only one me. I got on my nerves.

I ain’t really down on watching the two of them do that thing. For me, sex is not a spectator sport, even though that one time in Rio almost changed my mind about watching.

Anyways, the Mrs. doesn’t have to worry about me in that realm. Been there and done that. It is already crossed off my bucket list.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

Before time runs out just want to say as usual, we’ve been all over the page and it’s been fun!

By MELO

November 13, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

Raqi i hear u well but isnt it part of ur job and ur husband’s job to make u happy.I think there is a fear and insecurity thing here involved which is understandeable but if u truly wanted to please ur hubby and u knw this one time deal with this girl or regular will not result in him wanting to do it outside of u,why not try it?? Is it not fair to say u luv ur hubby,irregadless of the sexx equation and if heaven forbid smething happened and he cant hit,u still luv him?So why not please each other mightly as long as the parameters are set that noone will enact that act outside of each other. I think that wld be a treat. (conside this,untill i was 35, i never knew a woman cld give a man head or a man cld lick on that,so that was a new experience and luved it)Are u not closing urself to a new and exhilerating experience that wld make ur relationship strong?? Sleep on it!

By mqew

November 13, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

DAN Schnookuuums. You don’t get it. It’s not insecurity. It’s not a good look. Melo said it best in his 3:49…Marrieage aint no joke,u got be ready for it.Otehrwise stay single and keep ur hore on <——- That is the best advice that man has given.

I’m not insecure in no way shape or form I’m prolly one in a few that say, Yeah if work-related

Otherwise… it’s the appearance of wrong-doing that you should concern yourself.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

Melo You’re sealing thongs and bras at your linen/home goods store?

By Dan

November 13, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

Ladies (part I)

A ball point pen is also a handy item to have. Inconspcious and very lethal (if need be).

Keep the pen in a pocket, when uncomfortable, take the top of and it can be used as a jabbing weapon, preferrably to the throat or some other soft spot, not necessarily to kell, but enough to get away.

Part II

I guess I may be asking a lot of my woman, too much maybe. Because trust for me is a 2 way street, if I give it, I expect it. So single, unmarried, lonely or whatever, a single woman is no threat to my wife AT ALL.

That said, my wife may get a good one when I get home from said drinks as the ego would’ve been revved by another.

@Ceemee

Amish people, overall tend to be white. While I can profess an increasing affinity for the female of the Caucasian race, marriage is not possible. They cut things….

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

Dan, you can clean it up anyway you like. You truly do not grasp the magnitude of marriage. Keep your rose-colored glasses on until you’re truly ready. Trust is a big word with an even bigger emotional definition attached to it.

By Jamoca

November 13, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

Leggs not the pimp slap! LMAO!!! I’m hollarin’! Hahahaha!

PoppaG Mannn, that sounds good to me! …and I was thinkin’ the same thing when you said this —-> I know how she likes it stuffed, but it takes teamwork to get it all in. ;) LOL! That’s definitely askin’ for it. Because you know Melo was gonna be all over THAT! smdh! Ha!

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this

You’re sealing thongs and bras at your linen/home goods store?

lmfaorotf.

melo please stop!

By MELO

November 13, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this

yep Cee.I knw what kind of present to give a girl and she will appreciate and want to peel that!

By mqew

November 13, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this

Dan My hubby just came home from his bizness trip and I told him about your question.

He basically said why do you want to enjoy another woman’s company? Then referenced a bible verse and went to take a shower.

By mqew

November 13, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

Dan My hubby just came home from his bizness trip and I told him about your question.

He basically said why do you want to enjoy another woman’s company? Then referenced a bible verse and went to take a shower.

C yall I think I’m dirty… I need to take a shower as well

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

melo there is a limit for everything. You best believe I know of some things that he will not do. Suppose he leaves me for the woman that will agree to any and every thing and she tells him she gets aroused by using her vibrator in her man’s butt or she is turned on by man on man sex. I know he won’t be there with her long.

He knows I am not into that stuff and will never be asking him to do it. And it is stuff that he would never do. So it works both ways.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

Extraordinaire

Bruh, you know we’re cool right?

But for real I i got a feeling you’re going to have a fly wife, not fly’er than me but, cool nonetheless. ;0)

By Poppa Grande

November 13, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

Dan

The wedding is just a ceremony.

People are still people. There are just different titles. The people are imperfect. Therefore, imperfections lead to insecurities.

I kinda stayed from the topic as a whole because this one in which my abc tendencies come out. Many (not all) females don’t forget a thing. When the female confides in you that she “likes” you in that way even though she knows that you have a woman, she will have the upper hand until you confide to your wife/so. Then you will have problems both at work and at home.

Some female work spouses may act as if nothing is wrong, but as abc states “she is lying”. I know more than one dude that got caught up in a vindictive workplace harassment suit. When that happens, the workplace usually drops the man. Then, you gotta go home the real spouse/SO and tell them that you lost your job due to the situation (or fake it until payday comes and you come with nothing for the home bill collection plate.)

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

There’s a bar right next door (or down the street, whatever) we having drinks after work to continue a conversation. One, two, maybe more. I’ll call and tell you.

Dan, I’ve already stated that was fine. If I trust my man and he tells me what’s up. Enjoy. I’ma want him to stop at “maybe more tho.” If it’s a work thing, act like it.

In addition, I’d be okay with it because I know that after work socializing may help you advance your goals. Though a married man w/ a single woman can look suspicious, it doesnt’ mean that something is amiss.

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

my wife may get a good one when I get home from said drinks as the ego would’ve been revved by another.

i was thinking the same thing, but do i want my man coming home to me all horny from seeing another woman? is this an advantage to me?

By Raqi

November 13, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this

And I will say it again melo if he puts desiring to engage in one act over everything that we have now and have built together, then so be it. We have a healthy awesome intimate relationship now. If that’s not enough for him then I am not the woman for him and he can go.

Now I have to go. You all have a good evening.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 4:30 PM | Link to this

Aww man, I’m hollering over here mqew. Handle your bidness!

By MELO

November 13, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

but do i want my man coming home to me all horny from seeing another woman? wld u let ur man go to the strip then coz hes bound to come back wanting sme of that BEUTFUL Raqi i got u.Wmen are all the same on that shelter and protecting thing, i guess us men too altho we dont see our side as well as we see u ladies.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

mqew You better do that! Dang gurl, you just messed a chic day all up with that shower rendezvous talk.

melo In a linen shop chile, “zulu thoughts” needed to not be there. oh well

By Wise Diva

November 13, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this

you guys have been chatty today! I have to re-read the bottom feeder comments, I got lost on that one, LOL

By Beautiful

November 13, 2008 4:37 PM | Link to this

thanks dan for allowing me to see what i really want in a marriage.

thank you leggs for saying ish i cant get away with.

thanks raqi for inspiring me once again.

good night all!

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this

When the female confides in you that she “likes” you in that way even though she knows that you have a woman, she will have the upper hand until you confide to your wife/so. Then you will have problems both at work and at home.

PG, guys never believe me, but this is EXACTLY why I’d rather know these things than not know. I’d rather you tell me the truth and I deal with it then you lie to spare my feelings.

That’s the one thing that drives me crazy, some dumb azz chick thinking she has the upperhand cuz my dude is too weak to tell me that she made a pass at him.

By Poppa Grande

November 13, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

Dan

Sometimes, it is better to keep outside influences at bay though.

You never really know what is going on in that other woman’s mind.

You may think that its harmless, but she as a female may know what it may mean to infringing on another female’s “quality” time. Some will use it against you. There are some women that are just as deceitful as abc states.

I refuse to let a female get the upper hand on me and in between the Mrs. and me.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

Leggs she messed me up with that one. I’m kinda pyssed at her for telling us. Dang! Lol…

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 4:43 PM | Link to this

Bottom feeders are the dirtiest, nastiest animals in the ocean!

By Dan

November 13, 2008 4:44 PM | Link to this

@Angie

I’mma go with Melo on this one, why do you think there are strip clubs?

@Leggs

Trust is not that big a word, believe me, when you’ve had your life in other hands - literally, trust gets meaning.

That said, I still believe it to be relevant because someone questioning my honor goes deep with me.

@CeeMee

Was that extraordinare for moi? If so, from your lips to God’s Ear!

@mqew

For all the “ego stroking” you ladies talk about on here, you know why?

It’s nice to feel desired, even by a stranger that you want nothing from.

By MELO

November 13, 2008 4:44 PM | Link to this

In a linen shop chile see im not trying to brand myself Cee,just trying to make money,however way i make it.And if 2 seemingly diff things can get me there,so be it.And i aint hiring no brand manager type shytt for this,i got it.

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

I refuse to let a female get the upper hand on me and in between the Mrs. and me.

PG, I LOVE it. And I can tell you and the Mrs. are a real team. Unbeatable.

You’ll fare better in life then say, John Edwards. LOL

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this

Yeah me too, Cemeeli, I quickly had to dismiss it! (LOL).

By Dan

November 13, 2008 4:47 PM | Link to this

@PG

She may feel like she has “hand”, but in reality she has nothing.

Take Kayne’s “these other broads get pieces/ you’ve got my soul and system”

And for me, be it February 14 or rainy Tuesday in June, my lady knows how I feel about her….so ole girl playing table tennis with the other side lifted.

By MELO

November 13, 2008 4:47 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed i wldnt tell unless its coming to the fore.With u females,even a want u look to me by another female in ur/queen presence will trigger questions and suspicions from u so…its better to keep that drama under wraps…

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this

I refuse to let a female get the upper hand on me and in between the Mrs. and me.

Time to pack up the Juke-Joint and go home folks….that’s all folks!

Jamoca Stop slaudering hogs over there chic. E’rrbody is going home chile, don’t serve anutha, futha gumbo or 1200 page novel of explaining how to make sausages. time to go home now

PoppaG You won!!! Go ‘head and ask wifey to make that upsidedown-pineapple-cake-on-you joint for you tonight, K.

Ya’ll be easy.

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this

Good night everyone!

Dan, this is for you —->“It’s easy to deny the seriousness of an emotional affair — but it can be extremely threatening to a marriage.”

Cemeeli, let me reiterate what was said 100x today Pay attention to your surroundings. Peache!

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 4:52 PM | Link to this

i wldnt tell unless its coming to the fore.

melo, of course you wouldnt. LOL. And neither would most men. sigh

There is this scene, in the beginning of the movie “Diary of a Mad Black Woman.” The husband is sitting with his wife at the banquet, all the while making that “knowing glance” at the mistress.

Grrrr!

By tc

November 13, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

Bold: M’Karyl: I know b.s. when I read it!! You are trying so hard to talk yourself up by mentioning how other women’s husbands/boyfriends find you so beautiful and sexy that they can’t resist complimenting you. Trick please!!! I wouldn’t trust you any further than I could throw you. Get a life and find your own man that can put your arrogant arse on a shaky pedestal.

Bold: DuShawn: It’s sad that you can say something half-way intelligent one minute and then talk like a clown the next minute! You would step out on your wife in a New York minute if given the chance – although I believe you probably have. I would love to see how she would react to your posts.

I’m just moving back to ATL and I can’t believe how much the sisters and brothers here perpetrate.

By Poppa Grande

November 13, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

Leggs

Bottom feeders are the dirtiest, nastiest animals in the ocean!

That is why I don’t eat catfish often. Those whiskers are used to stir up stuff from the bottom so they can eat it. It is freshwater fish, but still a bottom feeder.

By MELO

November 13, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

good night freaky ladies.Its cold out there ,i believe.Get it if u can tonite!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s a one night stand will do too!!

By Leggs

November 13, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

tc, fyi you don’t have to type the word Bold…the asteriks bold them automatically.

By Cemeeli

November 13, 2008 5:05 PM | Link to this

lol @ Leggs. Go home woman.

By AmazonRed

November 13, 2008 5:08 PM | Link to this

Give me my bottom feeding SHRIMP. I can not get enough of those! Mmm mmm!!!

By Jamoca

November 13, 2008 5:29 PM | Link to this

Jamoca Stop slaudering hogs over there chic. E’rrbody is going home chile, don’t serve anutha, futha gumbo or 1200 page novel of explaining how to make sausages. time to go home now

Cee HA! You kinda late aren’t cha, hun?! I see you all in the pot tho’… b/c that project was already underwraps. Don’t want the novel, then don’t test/ask me for specifics on the thicka side of thangs concernin’ My gumbo or why Hilshire bout to go outta biz, cuz Moca put the handle down on a “sawshyt” LOL!…

…but you see him got the crickets now and ain’t nobody heard from ‘em since. I like to think of “the ‘ville” as one big novel, yet we regularly read it from 8-5.

Like I said before: we got us an imposter, paradin’ about like a lil’ school gal, when really she’s the ——> “Blog Mofo” indeed.*

Good Night, cha’ll..