AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2008 > October > 30 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USDating like cats and dogs
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Any pet lover knows that when it comes to dating, a new love makes three. And as we all know, three can be a crowd.
A couple case studies to consider:
A good friend of mine (a man) has a dog named Oscar who battles allergies and a finicky stomach; despite regular visits to the vet, the dog can be a handful of health problems. But Oscar has been my friend’s companion for nearly a decade, his buddy and family when he was going through rough times. (I resisted typing “ruff” times.) Last spring, my friend called me in distress. Just weeks before his girlfriend was scheduled to move into his home, she suggested to him that 1) the dog might be better off in the country where he’d have more space to run or 2) she wanted a contract detailing her role in caring for Oscar. (Keep in mind that option 1 didn’t mean they’d get a country estate. She wanted the dog gone.)
I don’t care much for this girl, so I hoped this would be the end of their already rocky relationship. Instead, they “worked it out” without having to give up Oscar or signing a contract. I think after he told her (again) how important the dog was, she relented.
Q: What would you have done in his shoes? Do you think she was justified in wanting a written description of her dog duties?
Another story: Another friend of mine (he can be “Jake”) stopped seeing his girlfriend because she insisted that her four dogs sleep in the bed with them. That’s how she slept as a single woman, and refused to have them elsewhere when he stayed over. Jake admits he really likes the girl, but sleeping with 16 furry legs is out of the question.
Q: Does Jake sound picky, or does she seem weird? How many of you keep Fluffy or Muffy by your side, but would you move them for an overnight guest?
Final tale: A reader wrote to me with another “tail” of dog-induced relationship demise. He had been seeing a woman for eight months, quite seriously he thought. The only problem? When they cuddled on the couch, the pooch would bark and snarl his way. He admits he’s not a dog lover, but said when he finally asked her to “correct the behavior,” an argument escalated into a break-up. They’ve begun to reconcile, but she gave our reader (let’s call him DoggieDave) an ultimatum: act lovingly toward her dog or get lost.
His words: I feel like all I can do is respect how you feel about your pet and you can not demand I become a dog lover when I am not… I in no way am trying to replace the dog as the center of her world. I am a very secure person. But this makes me wonder if she loves the dog so much that she does not have “room” to really love a man.
Question: Have any of you dated someone you felt loved their pet more than they were capable of loving you? Is that bond easy to understand or hard to respect? Has someone’s pet ever been the cause of your break-up, or what about times our furry friends brought you together?
Passionate about pets? Visit ajcpets
Permalink | Comments (229) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating
Comments
By Kym
October 30, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All,
I have no clue what to say on this topic..I am a dog owner and animal lover. If I had a bigger place I most likely would have two dogs.
If the person I dated had a problem with my dog I would do my best to keep his contact with my dog to a minmum. But if things progressed to serious, and there were talks of moving or living together well the dog is family..so he would have to accept that. Now my dog is not sleeping on the beds or anything wild like that…she is just apart of our family now and I would expect she would be apart of the family later.
Oh girl with the 4 dogs on the bed has some serious issues and frankly that story sounds like a episode of “How I Married your mother”.
By Faithful Friend
October 30, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this
Dog first, girl second. Dog has been my faithful companion for 12 years - no girl has even come close to that - got tired of most of them after a few months. Any girl that even remotely suggests that the dog must go away will be dropped off on the side of the road with a quarter to call a cab.
By Raqi
October 30, 2008 9:02 AM | Link to this
Ain’t no way on God’s green earth or in Satan’s den would I ever play second fiddle to a freakin’ animal. I don’t hate pets but I don’t particularly care for them, especially in the house. And definitely in my house. Pets are not people too. They are soulless creatures that are to be kept in their place.
I knew a few guys that had pets, but thankfully I never got serious with them that I had to find out if they loved the company of that animal over the company of a woman.
By Riz
October 30, 2008 9:06 AM | Link to this
Dogs provide unconditional love. No quetions asked and no complaints offered.
Contract? Contract???? I’d sign the contract, wait till things progressed to a proposal then drop a 25% earnings and 15% property Pre-nup on her a* - There’s a contract for you Bi&*$!
By Leggs
October 30, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this
WOW, WOW, WOW! First, I feel she was wrong in asking him to take Oscar to the country. Break up right there for me. Second, for her to insist the 4 dogs (4, not 1) sleep in the bed when her boyfriend is over is ridiculous. Break up right there for me. Third, you shouldn’t force someone to be an dog lover if they aren’t. Not necessarily break up right there, but an ultimatum I don’t think so. Ok, back to the second one. If you’re use to sleeping with 4 dogs and won’t remove them from your bed when your boyfriend is over, YOU DON’T NEED A BOYFRIEND.
By Raqi
October 30, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this
You know what is ironic, people will put up with taking care of a dog, feeding it, bathing it, cleaning up its crap, while the dog gives nothing back, but will desert a mate the falls ill and need all of the previously mentioned after said mate has been with them for years. And actually contributed to the relationship.
A man that used to work here left his ailing wife after 20+ years and took the dogs with him.
This is a sick generation we are living in.
By Dan
October 30, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this
Scenario 1:
The dude wanted the relationship more than the woman. She knows this and was exerting hand “the dog or me”. His stand took some of the power but no all (from her) and her control issue will rise again.
Scenario 2:
Dogs are territorial. So if this strange person starts sleeping in their bed with them, things could go wrong.
If dude maintains a pack leader mentality all should go well. And in doing so he will provide the girl with comfort and her realizing that she doesn’t need the dogs for comfort or protection - that’s his job now.
Scenario 3:
The dog is fighting for his position. The interloper will not be tolerated and he is letting the dude know that.
So like scenario 2, dude must assert himself as pack leader, both with the dog and with the female.
Conclusion:
Animals are intiuitive, they sense things on a level that humans do not. So a weak guy will get punked by a dog (a good barometer ladies). But a stronger man will walk into a home that the animal has inhabited for 10 years and instantly run things.
QED - The difference between demanding and commanding respect (even in the animal kingdom)
By RELL - LMAO
October 30, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this
WHITE FOLKS ARE CRAZY…LMAO….dogs were not meant to sleep with humans…what are we a dayum pack….men should train there domestic animals to know there place…men should date women with compatiable interest…clearly that hot blonde is not a dog lover…but again only white folks…lol
By melodie
October 30, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this
In 1997 my daughter worked with a woman who’s brother was recently divorced. She kept asking if it would be alright if her co-workers brother called me. I finally agreed and the first time I talked to him I told him that I had a cat, he told me he did not like cat’s. I told him I had always had a cat and sometimes had dogs also, but when I divorced I got the cat’s and my ex-husband got the dog. It had been a number of year’s since my divorce and both of the cat’s I had then were gone and I had a 5 year old named Jake. I explained to him that Jake and I had been constant companions, doing everything together. We even went camping together and of course Jake slept on my bed at night. I told him I could not imagine life without a cat and that I would always have one. After we began dating it became clear to me that the reason he did not like cat’s was he had never gotten to know one. About 4 months after we started dating he called me one night very upset, he had returned home after a date with me. When he went out to feed his dog he had found her dead, she was 16 years old. A few months later he called me to tell me that one of the ladies at his work had a litter of kittens that were born in her garage a few weeks before. He had gone to look at them and was going to give one of them a home. The one he had picked was part Manx like Jake, Jake has what looks like a little powder puff, bunny rabbit tail, the kitten he picked just had even less of a tail. He named her Toni. A week after he brought her home we got married. We did start shutting the bedroom door at night and Jake does not sleep with us. However if I am home alone I leave the door open so they can come and sleep with me. Jake is now 16, we have 3 more cats, but we lost Toni to cancer last year at age 9. For someone who does not like cat’s he sure does spend a lot of time petting them and playing with them.
By Raqi
October 30, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this
Rell Only in America do people put their pets above the needs and desires of the one they were actually created to mate with. LOL SMH
By Keep it real!
October 30, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this
Of course! Dogs are man best friend!
No talking back, No question our authority. Obeying our commands!
Blanca since you finally got out of that loser relationship I have someone for you!
By NY2GA, Inc.
October 30, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this
I’m a dog owner, too. I agree with *Kym’s * post. I let the men I date know that I have a dog that you can’t put in a purse and carry him around. He almost weighs as much as I do! There’s only been one occasion where a man that I was dating and my dog didn’t get along. Yep, big fella was picking up on something with that particular person that I didn’t initially. And he was right-Boy, my dog’s got one helluva gaydar…lol.
By RELL - LMAO
October 30, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this
@raqi….when reading this topic i am thinking this does not happen in my community AT ALL….i mean the only crazy things brothere do with there pets is let them smoke weed with them…drank liquor with them or feed them gun powder to make them meanier….but sleepin in the house or coming before some poo see…NOT GOING TO HAPPEN…hell to some low level brothers poo see comes before money…i will lurk until we topic change or ared post something to make someone respond….
By Raqi
October 30, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this
If man was meant to bond with a four footed beast instead of a compatible human being, why was Adam lonely before Eve was made? Dogs and all manner of beast were there with Adam but he was lonely. That’s because he was never meant to have that bond with a beast. Man and woman are meant to be together over and above all else. Heck you know if we are to forsake all others (mother, father, sister, brother) to be with our mate, animals are definitely to be put and left in their place.
By Leggs
October 30, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this
I cannot see myself sleeping w/an animal. My daughter, not I, has a cat. I close my door at night so Tigger doesn’t jump on my face in the middle of the night scaring the heebee jeebies out of me.
Glad things worked out for you melodie. A dog lover turned cat lover!
I too SMH at that Raqi
By Faithful Friend
October 30, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this
Raqi - Here’s your quarter - call someone who cares.
By MELO
October 30, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this
Animaaal live in the bush outside.No animaaal in da house. What psycho shid is dis u all talking about? Dog and cat competing with me for a girl’s attention on the bed.
Ur pudsy would have to be ringed around with gold,diamonds,honey,trace minerals and other real sweet stuff for me to reduce myself to that kind of barbaric competition. U serious Blanca,this is a dating topic today?? Tuesday,we got to change all that.Next 4 years, everybody gets to taste some yams,collards,blackeye,neckbone,piglegs,occra,pumpkin leaves,grits,tripe(cow insides) and goat meat.Only after then, can america be really one people!!
By The Truth
October 30, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this
My kind of topic. LOL
First, the relationship you have with a dog and with a woman are totally different. I love my dogs, in a way that you’re supposed to love dogs. They don’t sleep with me, they don’t sit on MY furniture or chew on MY shoes or anything like that. They follow MY rules because 1) I’m the alpha 2) I feed them, they don’t feed me
The women I have dated kinda got off on hanging with the dogs so the only thing I had to do is show her the little things that MUST be done to be higher in the pack structure than the dog. I would not want a woman to be lower in the pack than the dogs in the same way she won’t be lower than any children. We are the king and queen and everyone or thing we care for follows us. Period.
Also, I can get a chick and let her walk through the park with my dogs and she’ll be amazed at how many people stop to talk to her. They serve as an ice breaker. My dogs are hella good lookin btw. LOL
I know people that humanize their dogs and usually get bit doing so. Btw, the best way to get bit by your dog is let them sleep with you. When people say they’ve gotten bit thats the first question I ask.
My last gf would take my male out and walk him and I knew she could handle him. They weighed about the same, 135, but she had heart and he knew it. It was never an issue. She was higher in the food chain than he was. She understood.
With that being said, my dogs are my escape. When I’m with them my clothes don’t have to coordinate, it doesn’t matter if I have my cell or jewelry, or even if I’ve bathed. The only thing that matters is that we’re hanging and having fun, and they listen to my commands. Thats it.
Rell AA do it too. I think some people are lonely and use the dogs to fill that void. Thats alot to put on a dog.
By RELL - LMAO
October 30, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this
@faithful friend….middle fanga….this whole topic is flucking stoopid…and i never complain but come on….animals like children have no place in the “dating” phase…i mean you dating not talking marriage…and if you dating to marry then you will lose….folks lose becasue they focus on the outcome and not the process….plus plus….if you a die hard nazi grubbing pet lover…then you need to find another cult follower and shack up…i mean come on are you that flucking re tard ed
By Riz
October 30, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this
Blanca - I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you and WD to consistently think of these columns every morning. It’s gotta be a distinct challange that tests the limits of your creativity.
However - in the future it might be best to limit topics like these since it creates a big culture gap that will alienate a percentage of your readers.
My $.02 - keep up the good work.
By Raqi
October 30, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this
Leggs it just amazes me how some human beings can be devoted to any and everything except another human being.
By Leggs
October 30, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this
I was just about to say, can’t wait to see what Truth has to say, and here you is.
By MLL
October 30, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this
My late husband owned a snake when I first met him. He would walk around with sam on his shoulders and let sam hang around his neck like he was a piece of jewerly, just seeing that snake always sent chills down my spin. One day we were at his house and he some how sam got out of the aqurium, I ended up staying in the bathroom for hours until sam was found after that it was me or sam, well we ended up getting married and sam ended up with a close friend.
A couple of years ago I breifly dated a guy who had a mini jungle at his house, one pet in particular that stood out from all the rest was his pet tarantula spider, Everytime I went over to his house I would start itching, fearing his 8 legged friend crawling up my legs.
By RELL - LMAO
October 30, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this
alienate a percentage of your readers.
not me - i just dont see how it has its place in dating or this stoopid increase of pets being included in divorce….folks try to fill that void with all types of s** then fight for the possesion of it when s** goes bad….instead of talking about the TRUTH of the matter…they fill it with dogs, new cars, kids, affairs, strip clubs, etc…..but i see we still in the bs stage with this dating game….
By Beautiful
October 30, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this
rizzo why don’t you help a sista out then! her email is blance@ajc.com. y’all killin’ me.
and the lil My $.02 - keep up the good work. is straight bullshiit. how you gonna complain and then turn around and say good job! wtf ever.
i’m irritated now.
good morning ev1.
By M'Karyl
October 30, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this
Well, I have never own an animal but I do have great affection for them as living creatures…but I think that when such inherent differnces exist(especially very early in the relationship) about animal rights, attention, priorities…well, then common sense should make an obvious decision…I do not disrespect how other ppl feel about the pets/friends and I would not come beteween that bonding…but if it was also something that I could not accommodate, then I would be the one to retract my presence because I am the one with the problem that will become an issue for both ppl…some things are just like that…
By Beautiful
October 30, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this
one pet in particular that stood out from all the rest was his pet tarantula spider
aw h3ll to the naw! lol. hi MLL!
By Kym
October 30, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this
Truth I am going to have to take our dog to a obedience class with me I am alpha..with my son she is like dude you just like me. My son is the more compassionate they play tug of war etc. But when its is time to sit she will not do a thang he says unless he has doggie treats. So we are going to have to take a class.
By AmazonRed
October 30, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this
Morning folks! My co workers dressed up for Halloween today. They are hilarious.
On topic When I was 12 my sisters begged my parents for a puppy. They were 11 and 9. Knowing they were as flighty as fairy dust, I went to my parents and told them that the dog would be THEIR’S. I didn’t want to walk it or feed it or pick up it’s poop. Lo and behold, after about 6 months my mother was the only one taking care of the dog. Eventually my dad had it put to sleep. :-/
Needless to say, I’ve never been an animal lover.
In any case, pets are still living things and part of the family for some. I don’t want to take responsibility for a pet, I never have. But if I met a guy with a pet, I wouldn’t make the situation worse. If he was gone for a day or something I’d help out. I have several friends who don’t like pets but married spouses that came with em. They deal.
Beau has been asking to get a dog tho and I told him NO! Besides, he lives in a condo with no yard.
By The Truth
October 30, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this
When I worked at the pen a fellow guard owned a rottweiller. That dog was trained to the t. When him and his wife got divorced that was the only thing they fought over, who would get the dog.
Rell/Raqi you 2 seem to have deep feelings about this but really its not that deep. It’s just like someone that loves their mate but also loves bowling. When the relationship ends you want to hold on to the things you care for that you have left. It’s not either/or.
I’d never put my dogs above my mate but then again I wouldn’t let a woman tell me I couldn’t have them either. It’s just a balance.
NY2GA one of the hidden benefits of having a dog is they detect when folks are up to no good. 100% never fails they can pick out a crook. Funny thing is my dog didn’t like my brother, who is a preacher and a crook. LOL He knew.
A lady came out to our training class one day selling incense. Something about that chick had every dog out there growling and barking at her. They were’nt just barking, they all turned directly towards her. It was like 10 dogs going berzerk. I wonder what was up with that chick? LOL
By Blow Me
October 30, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this
Good MORNING
* I think its fair to say we NEED a topic change…This is not holding the crowd today.*
Okay who wants to start the new topic?
By China Doll
October 30, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this
Black folks have different rules when it comes to animals.
By AmazonRed
October 30, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this
That should have read: “Beau has been asking if he should get a dog..” I clarified cuz I know how it reads the other way. LOL
By lurker
October 30, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this
We have cute little mice in the house. I put out traps last night (7) and his butt went around and ate all the cheese and peanut butter. Any suggestions?
By MLL
October 30, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this
Angie awww h3lls yeah! dat ol’freaky freak LOL
By M'Karyl
October 30, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this
This ish is like so many others in the relationship paradigm…what values are compatible, compromisable and worth the effort…somethings can be accommodated within the relationship and somethings can not…at some point we need to know what we are willing to accept as such and what we are not…choices that we make on the front end to accommodate something that we will resent on the back end are of our own making…be it pets, children, smoking, behaviors…we do own our choices.
By Dan
October 30, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this
@Truth
I have a homegirl (a couple actually) that have been single for a while, and they wanted to get dogs. I didn’t give ‘em any suggestions but I watched to see if they got the dog.
To me, a single woman with a dog is trying to fill that spot left by the lack of an SO. She wants someone to dote on, someone to be company, and ultimately someone to love.
Neither of them got the dogs, and only one has a man. But both eventually realized that the dog wouldn’t be what they really wanted.
I really be watching the chicks that overpersonify dogs. If they that attached (to their “baby”), I want no parts even if she fine…
By Raqi
October 30, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this
Truth I don’t hate animals but I believe animals should stay animals. They should not take the place of another human being. And they cannot fulfill the role that another human being was meant to fill. Hobbies as you mentioned are the same.
I have had two dogs because they were given to my sons. But they remained dogs. It was sad to that some one stole Romeo but not the kind of sadness that I would have if a love one died or left.
My issue is ain’t no way I will be second in a man’s life when it came to his animals. That man would not be the one for me.
By Wise Diva
October 30, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this
I can’t believe ya’ll are making this about race, LOL. There are so many people of color who are intense with their pet love/adoration!
I know 3 women, who love their pets so much that they actually worry about their pet accepting/adjusting to the men in their lives! I understand it may not be common for some of you, but, in my experience, it’s not always a cultural/racial difference.
I already have puppy fever, so I kind of like this topic!
By Leggs
October 30, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this
ARed, I too would have gone to my parents saying the same thing. I am not walking a dog in the cold, rain, sleet nor snow. My child wanted a puppy, but I knew she would play with it, but wouldn’t take care of it by walking it nor training it. I knew I wouldn’t and that’s why she has a cat. I somewhat fear dogs and no doubt they can smell it. A long time ago, this little creature knew I was afraid of it. I tried to mask it, but inherently, it’s something you can’t do. The third day around this dog it jumped in my lap and when I jumped up it bit me in the leg.
By AmazonRed
October 30, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this
Oh yeah, and sleeping with 16 furry legs IS out of the question. You don’t have to get rid of your dogs, but they will have to be rid of the place that I sleep! I have my own room/bed in protest til the situation was resolved! (for someone I really liked).
By C tha 1
October 30, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this
I’m not a dog owner, but I don’t hate dogs either. I don’t have room for one in my life right now and everybody is always trying to give me one. I believe if you feed it and care for it then it is technically a dependent, therefore you can write them off on your taxes. But I don’t believe the IRS will go for that.
By RELL - LMAO
October 30, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this
@Trtuth…brah i think you reading me wrong..i am dog lover number one…i respect them…i respect that even when trained they can still act on that basic primal instinct to bite…hell i am a pet lover….i have had tree frogs, hermit grabs, mice, gerbels, hamsters, parrot, fish, goldfish, dogs, cats, snacks,…i have owned 2 boxers, a rotty, lab, pit, sherperd in my lifetime…and they were never the topic in a relationship…hell right now i want a bulldog.either a mini or an english…i am looking now..
By Leggs
October 30, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this
Glad you clarified ARed, cuz I was thinking….OKAY???? (LOL).
Anway, ChinaDoll, you’re right. Take Leona Hemsley leaving all that money to her dogs. Well, may not be a good example, she didn’t like people and people didn’t like her.
By Blow Me
October 30, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this
WD Come on…most of our dogs are outside on a chain! It’s obvious…just by some of the post you have on this blog. WE are not into our dogs like that. REALLY! Let’s be honest.
By NY2GA, Inc.
October 30, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this
@TruthLOL at your 10:15. But, it’s true, they do pick up on things.
So, let’s let our dogs loose around some of the blog folks and see what happens. Ready??
By mqew
October 30, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this
IF I HAD 99 PROBLEMS A BYTCH WOULD NEVER BE ONE
MORNING :-)
By AmazonRed
October 30, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this
I can’t believe ya’ll are making this about race, LOL.
LOL WiseDiva, this is still an AJC blog. It’s like a theme song on here. :-/
Leggs, I’m just glad my parents understood. I really knew that dog would be neglected and I wanted them to know I wasn’t about to make promises I wouldn’t keep!
I did have a pet guinea pig for a time though. My dad didn’t like the smell and he made me put it outside on the back porch. She froze to death (in CA!). :-/
By Teresa
October 30, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this
Ok, lets do a blog check..how many of us have outside dogs?
By Raqi
October 30, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this
WiseDiva Pets. Are. Not. People. And yeah when speaking of the human “race” I do believe some people have a sick obsession when it comes to their love for an animal over the love for another person.
But you know our differences is what make for a great discussion.
By M'Karyl
October 30, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this
They were’nt just barking, they all turned directly towards her. It was like 10 dogs going berzerk. I wonder what was up with that chick?
@Truth
True, animals are quite intuitive…and even I pay attention to how they behave around ppl…one can learn a lot…most ppl with pets can tell immediately that I am a good person because their animals bond with me instantly…even those that tend to be standoffish with ppl in general…Funny story, I had a neighbor whom I saw with her small dog on a regular basis…he would bark like nuts when I passed…almost like he was instantly crazy…she did not understand why…she would apologize and say he normally was not like that with ppl…I would smile and keep moving…well, one day I stopped and talked to the woman and the dog…the dog did its dog thing…sniffing, etc…eventually the lady and I developed a rapport…I would stop by her house and have tea or something…turns out that she was very lonely…recently widowed and had no friends…so I became her friend…after that, the little mug would constantly look for me when I passed the up the street and sure enough, if he saw me passing by…nuts he would go again…funny, how he knew I would make a good friend for a lonely lady.
By NY2GA, Inc.
October 30, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this
To me, a single woman with a dog is trying to fill that spot left by the lack of an SO. She wants someone to dote on, someone to be company, and ultimately someone to love.
@Dan That all may hold true for some women. I mostly wanted something to be able to take a chunk out of somebody’s behind while I run to get my friend Glock. This is a crazy world and you need all the protection you can get.
…I’m done for the day. Peace.
By Kym
October 30, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this
Dan I am single and we have had two dogs..both because my son wanted them. The first was a little terrior horrible with children but was my mother’s constant companion until she(my mother) past away and we had to give him up. And now we have a shepard mix because my son wanted a dog he could actually “play” with. I didn’t get the dogs to fill a void they were/are functioning members of our family.
By Beautiful
October 30, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this
the problems i have are 1 when his house stinks like his dogs. 2 when his backyard is jacked up with poop, holes that the dogs dug and no grass. 3 dogs are not taken care of properly with shots. 4 he doesn’t play with them. their in the back all day by themselves. no walks with the leash. 5 not feed right. dogs shouldn’t eat table scraps. 6 he has too many. four dogs is a bit much, don’t you think? 7 doesn’t give no love. dogs love hugs, pats, massages, etc.
also, my sis bought her dogs health insurance. lawd jeezus.
By AmazonRed
October 30, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this
We are the king and queen and everyone or thing we care for follows us. Period.
That’s sexy. Good post Truth
By MELO
October 30, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this
Maybe this topic reveals smthing about whats wrong with some of uall’s dating habits WD. Seriously, if u luv animals like that,to the extend where u wld potentially clash with a guy over a dog or cat, and ur dating is primarily around black folks,then ur pickings maybe slim there coz of ur interests.Widen the scope. I do luv dogs but like C tha 1 said, i prioritize where my money goes.I have no money nor time to feed and take care,medically of a dog.Im still looking for money to get my daughter some braces.Most black folks are like me,their money aint enough to go around like that to waste it on a dog! Coz we are,by our blackness,not as affluent as a sub group.Nothing about race per se.And some of the dogs i have seen in some parts of SWA are really emaciated,they walk sideways,thin and hungry.They wld rather be condemned! How can i spend 3/4/5 thousand dollars a year on dog care when i do not have a 401k,medical insuarance etc?
By M'Karyl
October 30, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this
@mqew
LMAO at your 10:34 post…gotta a chick I know here that say the same thing everyday…lol.
@Raqi
yes, there are some ppl who have a very interesting and inexplicable bonding with their pets…something that borders on not normal…perhaps the emotional affection they feel from that attachment satisfies something they can not have with another person…I do not know…different strokes for different folks.
By abc
October 30, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this
A casual approach to pet ownership demonstrates immaturity and self-centeredness. I consider adoption of my retired racing greyhound a lifetime commitment to caring for the dog. If people don’t feel that way about it, they should do the humane thing, and not have pets.
So, the chick that wanted the dog gone is a loser, IMHO. Better off without such callus clods.
Dogs have to be trained. A dog that growls, barks, or shows aggressiveness toward people has to be trained to not be so. Period. A dog has to be trusted around babies, even unattended, or that dog isn’t fit for human company.
So, the growling dog needs to be trained, and it’s his owner’s responsibility to do so. The guest could try to make friends with the dog, I suppose.
Ain’t no dayum dogs sleeping in a bed with me. No way, no how. That’s just plain unhygienic, smelly, itchy and scratchy. Like, brush the dog hair out of your own when you wake up? No thank you.
By The Truth
October 30, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this
Kym what kind of dog do you have? Here’s a cure for your situation. Don’t feed the dog for a day. Don’t worry, he wont die. For the next week only let your son feed him and only by hand after he has sat down. Do this for a week and the dog will understand who is on top. Also, tell your son no more tug with the dog. Pound for pound dogs are stronger than humans, especially kids. Everytime they play the dog reinforces in his mind that he is superior to your son. If he wants to play get a ball and have him throw it. The thing is the dog must bring it back and give me MY ball. I only let him play with it.
Dan for a chick its a win win situation. If she gets the right dog and right training she can severely reduce her major fear, security. She will sleep much better knowing she has a beast patrolling the house addressing anything that moves. It’s kind of cool really. In the beginning it’s work but 4 months in you’ve got a built in security guard. At 1.5 years you have a private bodyguard.
A female attorney that trains with us has 3 dogs. A rott and 2 cane corsos. She works them off leash and her dogs will maul a grown man. They won’t touch her though. She runs that pack.
That has benefits for a man in her life also because she realizes she can communicate without talking. It’s all mental power.
Blow we finally get a topic I know something about and you want to change it. Whats up with that? Btw, I want to put a leash and collar on you and teach you a few things. And some paddling will be involved.
Lurker wow. I’ll fight a dog but I’m afraid of mice. I hate those thing. Mice and fire are my kryptonite. LOL
By Dan
October 30, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this
@NY and Kym
Read the context of the post, the ladies were:
Single
Lonely
So if neither of these conditions apply to you directly, be not offended.
By Leggs
October 30, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this
I love that story m’karyl. All the while the dog was going into a frenzy trying to tell you to be a friend to its master. That’s touching!
By Beautiful
October 30, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this
IF I HAD 99 PROBLEMS A BYTCH WOULD NEVER BE ONE i heard that! lol.
By Kym
October 30, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this
Beautiful My dog has pet insurance. Do you know how it cost to take a dog to the vet for regular check ups. Speaking of which I am wayy late with her shots. Damn let me call them right now..she will have to go Saturday morning.
By Leon Phelps
October 30, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this
I, and several good friends have all had bad experiences with single women who have the little “purse sized dogs”.. .I mean the women who take them everywhere and treat them like a child…. Pretty much our rule is to stay away from all women with these “purse sized” dogs… Nothing good comes of it. I refuse to play second fiddle to a dog. I used to be weary of cat ladies.. but they are actually pretty cool for the most part (as long as they have 1 or maybe 2.. anything more than 2 cats is the evuivelent of a “purse dog”
By Raqi
October 30, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this
Melo I somewhat agree with you in a general type of way. Remembering some other discussions I have read here and actually had with other people, everything these days come before the mate. Jobs, hanging with your friends and now the pets. And then people wonder why they are without. I mean look at where you are placing your priorities. When the love and needs of your mate falls 8 and 9 on your list of ten, it’s obvious that you not only don’t want one, you probably don’t need one.
By Raqi
October 30, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this
Rather than “don’t need”, you should not be wasting the time of one.
By AmazonRed
October 30, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this
If she gets the right dog and right training she can severely reduce her major fear, security. She will sleep much better knowing she has a beast patrolling the house addressing anything that moves. - Truth
This is kind of off topic, but I wonder why I don’t have this fear. I’ve lived alone since 2002. My mother asks me all the time if I get scared and if I ever have trouble sleeping because I’m alone in a big house (big for me at least). I sleep so soundly it’s like I’ve been drugged. I have no self defense training, no glock, not even pepper spray.
I don’t know why I don’t live in fear.
My sister has NEVER lived alone and she never wanted to.
By Beautiful
October 30, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this
sup kym? my issue with pet insurance is the deductible is cwazy high, the limits are wack, the conditions of the policy is bs, the premium stinks, and if there’s an emergency your dogs issue may not even be covered.
i argued with her about buying it. she ended up canceling after one year. she heard me loud and clear then! she has two min pins. snoop and lil man.
i have a yorkie. pls ppl, don’t buy this type of mutt unless you have the energy to keep up with his hyper azz!
where’s new car smell? lol.
By Dan
October 30, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this
@Truth
If I had a sister, I’d want her to have that kind of dog no doubt.
But the dogs I’m talking about are the Paris Hilton type itty-bitty dogs that can’t do nothing but “yip” if something happens.
Those are the one that get the kiddie treatment. Realistically no one would think to have a Rotwieler with a sweater on….
See what I’m saying?
By Kym
October 30, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this
Truth She is a German Shepard Mix..Her mom was a shepard, dad was whatever dogs came out the woods and got her mom because she was part of a mix litter. My cousin has two of her brothers(I guess u say that) and they one has shepard features like my dog and the other one has features like a Rotti with a purple tongue. No more sock monkey??..aww they look so cute with the tug of war of the the sock monkey but ok. We followed your adviced for the jumping..and that is working out great..except in my son’s case..So I will print your response and give it a try.
By Beautiful
October 30, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this
kym what’s the name of your policy holder? i would like to pass it along to her so she can check it out. thanks!
By MELO
October 30, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this
I don’t know why I don’t live in fear its the hood in yah..
By Chink
October 30, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this
Morning!
Not much of a pet person especially dogs since I been attacked plenty of times - NY is rough! I require dogs to stay outside I dont want to meet them just stay away from me.
ARED
I am like that too thats why I got a security system …I want to know if anything is moving on the first floor ASAP. Good for you for not having that feeling …
By LHE
October 30, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this
I think pets are great and always grew up having an outdoor dog. I would probably have a pet now if I had the time to raise and train one. However, a man with a minture dog… deal breaker. No single man should own a dog that is small enough to be steped on.
By The Truth
October 30, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this
Beautiful the dog digs holes because its not getting enough exercise. It’s frustrated with pent up energy. Walk that dog for an hour a day and watch the digging stop. also, dogs don’t need hugs, the owner does that for themselves. You’ve never seen 2 dogs in the wild hugging. They interact in their own way.
Another good way to get bit is feed a dog from the table. Here’s the sequence. Next the dog will start looking at you while you’re eating, which is disrespectful. He’d never look at the alpha while eating. Since you didn’t address that he’ll next make a move, depending on how dominant he is, on the food and finally growl or bite. Like in a relationship, these things don’t just happen. Stop it before it gets started. The dog eats from his bowl or my hand.
Kym when I first got my dogs I got all the shots and the whole thing. Now I take them once a year for a checkup and they dont have problems. No more shots or vet visits unless there’s an emergency. Puppy shots for parvo and such are necessary but thats it. My dogs haven’t missed a beat. The vets are as corrupt as used car salesman. They dont need all the shots they get.
By alphanista
October 30, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this
Last week, a male friend told me he would never date a girl with a pet. He said it showed him that she resigned her life to being single and that she gave little thought to how a pet would affect a new relationship. This is true. Pets have needs. Many men do not like the dog being fed before them. They also don’t like stepping over a dog, kicking the dog out of the way, or walking your little S**, especially if he’s straight. But Yorkies and the like have become the rage for single black women sporting them like precious “real” babies. Single black women like little dogs, now if they can only get the right, big dog all would be well.
By Kym
October 30, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this
Beautiful, I dont know what kind she had but my payment is 22.00 a month, meds for heartworms is like 100.00 a year.(2-6 month supplies) and all the shots each year are included in the plan.
Heck when we had her spayed(lawd my sister still talks about how that was not right) it was included in the insurance. Now they are talking about she needs a dental treatment..127.00 bucks but I can up my plan by 5.00 bucks a month and cover that if I choose to. I have the Banfield pet plan. My cousin had a dog to have to go on nerve meds(shut up Truth) that medication was fairly cheap compared to what she would have paid had she not had the plan. Look I have insurance for myself and my son..why wouldn’t I cover my other family member too.
By M'Karyl
October 30, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this
@leggs
we should always be able to listen to GOD…wherever He may be and however He may come…I would like to believe that my life experiences have taught me to not allow my personal ego to dismiss my inner God calling…we just never know how He will be found.
By Willie Dynamite
October 30, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this
Morning All,
I grew up having dogs all my life. I cant say i’m a dog lover tho. I also cant say I’m against animals. what I am against is personalizing an animal to the point that it becomes bigger/better than a human life. It is obviously your choice to do so becuz of whatever reason you so choose. Some do it for companionship, loyalty or whatever. If i ever had to be chosen over an animal that that would let me know I wasnt the one. PERIOD. What I will say is that our Society is at a point where I’d prolly get more time for kicking a dog than slapping an ol lady in the street. To me that is whats truly sad about this whole thing. Not even getting on a dating level.
By M'Karyl
October 30, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this
If a woman chooses to invest her time in a dog or cat as an option to other types of companionship…then so be it…who are we to dictate how other ppl channel their needs for affection and loyalty????…and if a man decides to kick it with his dog as if they are true homies…and he is loyal to that bond at all cost…so be that too…wneh ppl’s behaviors and attitudes convey somethng to me about them, then so it is…it anything is done with compassion and empathy…then who am I to question it???
By mqew
October 30, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this
OH and what truth said about it’s an AA thing as well.
I had a friend that had stairs for her dog to get on the bed. When her bf would sleep over, the dog would just wait till they finished then get in where she fit in. SMH
By i'm swiss
October 30, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this
@Truth — Cosign your 9:52. I love dogs, but dogs are animals, not people, and are actually happiest when treated as such. They want their owners to be pack leaders, not equals.
4 dogs sleeping in the bed? That chic’s on the fast track to being “that crazy dog lady.” Who in his/her right mind would put up with that BS?
By AmazonRed
October 30, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this
its the hood in yah..
melo, oh yeah, that must be it. LOL
Chink, I do have an alarm system, but really what good is it if someone breaks in? All it will do is tell the police that I’m dead. I weigh 135 soaking wet. I’m a sitting duck if someone breaks in.
Sad but true!
By Beautiful
October 30, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this
My cousin had a dog to have to go on nerve meds(shut up Truth) lol.
i’ve seen dogs on meds for arthritis and diabetes. wow!
By Raqi
October 30, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this
It’s frustrated with pent up energy
Truth I believe that to be true. The little while we had the mini dog it would stay in the laundry room when every one left the house. When we would get home and let her out she would take out running around the yard and would do several laps before she tired out. My son put a stuffed toy in there once and when we came home one day it was shredded to pieces.
By Beautiful
October 30, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this
All it will do is tell the police that I’m dead lol.
and my sis has a dayum doggie door! smh.
works calling
By Blow Me
October 30, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this
Truth Yes..I know this is right up your alley. But please spare us today. The way things are going I’m liable to start a BLOG FIGHT.
By Dan
October 30, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this
@M’K
From a perspective you’re right about dictating how people channel those emotions. That’s not my thing though.
People that do that are retreating. They are retreating from finding meaningful companionship, a meaningful relationship, a meaningful human relationship to have.
Why pour all that emotion into an animal that can only give blind loyalty? Becuase some man/woman has hurt you to the point that you’re too scared(or scarred) to trust a human again?
That’s when it bothers me, becuase that person is not being fair to the animal or to themselves. And my concern is really only superficial (live your life - hey ey ey ey ey. Making your paper, live your life).
If that’s how one chooses to deal with betrayal instead of moving on and really dealing with it, so be it.
If I care, I find it sad. If I don’t care, I find it sad, but do you.
By Chink
October 30, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this
ARED
I like to believe that by being alerted that someone is in ….I can either find a way out or scream for help…Um I am not waiting for the monitoring system to call anyone! Shoot I probably could call 911 too in my escape…I am not going down withou