Misadventures in Atlanta

By QC

October 21, 2008 8:15 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers

Have a great day all

BK, Demi ;) smooches

By Kym

October 21, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

We don’t know what it’s like to be men. Never have, never will. Men certainly don’t know what it’s really like to be women. Isn’t that the way it should be? Yep!

I think sometimes I(maybe others can relate)spend wayyy to much time trying to get inside the head of a guy. Anticipating moves and planning battle strategies on how to engage the “enemy”. Like one big game of Battleship, sometimes there will be hits guessing right gives you that aha moment!!! You are who I thought you were or firing wayyyyy off course and then wondering why did I waste a perfectly good move on something so trivial and random.

By China Doll

October 21, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

I will say that as I have grown older I tend not to get caught up in the emotion of dating. That means I take it as it comes, not rushing, no dreams of every guy being “Mr. Right”, no making wedding plans after the first date. I prefer to sit in shadows emotionally and watch.

Typically, in relationships I’m usually the “least emotionally attached.” My personality allows me to disconnect fairly easily. Not to say that I am cold, just rational and stragetical in relationships.

I’m good at “self checking” my emotions and love.

By Dan

October 21, 2008 8:56 AM | Link to this

If men could be women, we wouldn’t leave the house for the first 48 hours “getting to know ourselves”.

If women could be men, you’d know the pleasure (and pain) of writing your names in the snow. And the sheer ease of scratching (no matter who/what is around).

If women could be men, you’d get a glimpse that our thought processes are not that difficult to understand (saying what you mean, meaning what you say). Women would know the internal pressure of trying to help when someone you care about is having an issue.

If men were to switch our consciousness with that of a woman….the suicide rate would jump exponentially in 2 days, as we’d all go insane with a myriad of questions/answers/alternatives….and none of it would be our fault.

Disclaimer: these are exagerrations of minor differences. Meant to be humorous, but also slightly true.

By China Doll

October 21, 2008 8:58 AM | Link to this

Kym

Good Points, I learned awhile back to stop trying to figure guys out. Just sit back watch and wait. See what happens!!!

By China Doll

October 21, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

Dan

You are starting the morning off on a funny note as usual.

By Dan

October 21, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

I’m always interested in learning new things….so ladies

Elaborate on some of what your life experiences have taught you about the fundamental differences between men and women.

And I’m taking notes

By MELO

October 21, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this

Guys for the most part are who they say they are and do show who they are.Women are the ones who put spin to what men do,based on their fantasized models.If i were a girl, i wld do exactly as you say China, observe and take it the way u see it.That way, u save urself a lot of heart ache. Good morning everybody.

By Donna Reed

October 21, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

Maybe I am the odd (wo)man out, but I actually welcome the contrast because it makes for a nice balance. But that’s just me. I really wouldn’t want to be with a man that is like a woman. And by that I do mean the thought process. We (man and woman) need each other just the way we are.

By Wise Diva

October 21, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

Good morning troops! Great question Dan, what say you, fabulous ladies?

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this

Happy Tuesday everyone. Glad to see I was missed. Beau and I had a nice little getaway.

To answer the question, if we knew what it was like to be the other gender, I’d like to think we’d all do better in relationships if we knew what the other side was like.

Alas, we don’t, so the world keeps on spinning.

By abc

October 21, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

What on earth is in your Cheerios?

It’s good to be a guy. I think so everytime I consider what it’d be like to be a chick. It would plainly suck.

No offense, just sayin.

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this

Good morning….

I agree with Raqi…I mean Donna Reed.

We are different for a reason. If men worried about “how things felt”, a whole lot of stuff would be left undone. If women, did things without thinking about “how things felt”, there would be a whole lot more heartache than there is now. It is like one gender is the ying, and the other is the yang. It takes both to make the world go ‘round.

But, I truly believe that we have way more in common than we are different. I think that we have the same goals and desires. We just have different ways of getting there.

Kinda like Democrats and Republicans. Everyone wants their kids in good school, nice neighborhoods, and a pocket full of money. They just have different ways of trying to get there

By China Doll

October 21, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

Here’s just a few

Men: 1.know your position in their life when they meet you.

2.mainly want sex, food and TV, not necessarily in that order.

3.are more upfront in with their intentions.

4.prefer quantity over quality.

By Donna Reed

October 21, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

I agree abc. It would totally suck to be a man.

By Donna Reed

October 21, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

Exactly Poppa. Sometimes the logical (<— it’s a man thang) thing to do is to listen to your heart (<— a woman’s expertise).

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

abc *It’s good to be a guy. I think so everytime I consider what it’d be like to be a chick. It would plainly suck.

No offense, just sayin.*

I’m sorry but that made me laugh.

AR

if we knew what it was like to be the other gender, I’d like to think we’d all do better in relationships if we knew what the other side was like.

I’m not so sure about that. You underestimate how simple men really are. When you throw all the emotions and stuff on us, it may really mess with us. I state regularly that we aren’t taught to deal with emotions. Having to deal with the suddenly could really cause some trauma. I agree with Dan’s post (although he was joking) that the male suicide rate (which is higher than female rate) would increase.

I think that some of the stuff that we deal with would throw you all for a loop also. You would get a glimpse of why the emotions could be a negative for us in daily everyday life. You would see that “da man” was really trying to hold us back…lol j/k

By Chink

October 21, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

Morning!

I wouldn’t want to to be a man. I love being a woman and I disagree with the whole men are what they say they are what a bunch of bull! Men do ride the fantasy boat and do not say what they mean all the time…

One major difference for me that I see contantly between women and men is how we deal with sex …but that should be well known by now. By the way I dont think there are many differences..just a few and not that intricate but thats my personal opinion.

By China Doll

October 21, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Melo

You agree with me, WOW!!!! And to think we started out on such a bad note. LOL

All’s forgiven, buddy!!

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

You underestimate how simple men really are.

PG Not really. And women are more than just emotional beings. But of course that’s what guys think, because they do not know.

By Dan

October 21, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

@China

You forgot “quiet”. A nikka needs silence.

By abc

October 21, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

Well, really. High heels and makeup, dresses, hairsyles and overall necessity for sensitivity to fashion and vanity; keeping all manner of secrets and lies; what’s to like about being a chick?

Men have it made in all those regards. Need to look nice, put on a suit; otherwise dress in the same old regular clothes as the past 25 or more years. Men with a ‘hairstyle’ are f*. Shoes are chosen for their comfort. It takes 15 minutes or less to get ready. Being a man, I have a free pass to simply tell it the way I see it rather than try to protect everyone from themselves and from me.

It’s good to be a guy.

By The Truth

October 21, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

Ladies, the one guy gear you’d love to have is the one that allows you to say “I don’t give a fugg” and really mean it. It’s so nice to have the option to not care. While everyone is touched by something, most of the stuff that goes on doesn’t ring our bell. We could truly give a shyt. LOL

China Doll we can close the blog for the day because you summed up the male species with this one: 2.mainly want sex, food and TV, not necessarily in that order. You win the “Think Like A Man” tropy and $500 gift card. LOL

Welcome back Ared.

By Kym

October 21, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

Truth I have a question..Have you read anything by Dr. Wayne Dyer?

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

Thanks Truth, and thank you for you know what. :-D

By China Doll

October 21, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

Truth You can send that gift card to: 69 Alphabet Street Celby City, GA

Thanks!!!

By MELO

October 21, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

One major difference for me that I see contantly between women and men is how we deal with sex expand on it a lil coz there is confusion and diffnce of opinion out there Chink.

Welcome back Ared AND ** and thank you for you know what. :D i get it!! China i have alwayz agreed wit you..lol.But watch out for the python experience..i will tell u what that is if u dont know.

By Wise Diva

October 21, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

High heels and makeup, dresses, hairsyles and overall necessity for sensitivity to fashion and vanity; keeping all manner of secrets and lies wow, quite a laundry list for what encompasses womanhood! LOL

I did not have Cheerios today, (was that question directed to me?), I had oatmeal, and it had raisins and nuts in it :)

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this

AR

And women are more than just emotional beings.

I never said that females were just emotional beings. I even stated that the genders were more similar than different. (my 9:39 post)

My point in the next post was to distinguish a major difference.

Dealing with emotions is one major difference. Male emotional displays are seen as weakness by others, particulary other men (with whom we are usually competitors). So we are taught and raised to “suck it up”, “walk it off”, etc.
I played football and I heard ” don’t let the opponent know that they hurt you” so many times that I lost count when I was ten year old. I actually understand it. It teaches us to control our emotions. Even non athletic boys can be labled a “cry baby” if they don’t watch. So , many males act tough.

Then women expect us to be something different when we get into a relationship, and show our emotions to them (to a point), which is contradictory to what we were raised to do. That would cause confusion, and that would lead to the higher suicide rate among males.

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this

i get it!!

LOL. melo, someone else got it too! Ha!

By MELO

October 21, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

China and Chink i knw most of these ladies understand we like those things u itemized in ur 9.40 and especially no 2.Why then do we have these battles coz i see u have us figured out.Lets have some reconciliation and all will be happy. U seem like 2 cool ladies to hang out,lets wrk on that!!

By NY2GA

October 21, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Wow, it has been over a year since I was last on this blog. Wise Diva, I am glad you are still here.

I just wanted to drop a quick note.

I agree with some of China Dolls points and someone pointed out that a man will show you what is up from the beginning, unfortunately most men don’t live up to that code. Me, I am going to let you know what it is, from there it’s up to you how you want to handle things. Upfront and honest, quit the faking .. You gain more …

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

PG, your post to me was more about the emotional side of woman than anything else. The point of my post that you responded to was that it’s easier to relate once you’ve expereinced the other side. No more, no less. I think it’s a given that if we changed genders for a day that we’d all be “thrown for a loop.”

By China Doll

October 21, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Melo

Please explain the “python experience”.

By abc

October 21, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

I didn’t say it ‘encompasses womanhood’. I referred to those things as downsides to femininity.

Sure there wasn’t some LSD or other contraband in your oatmeal? Just a funny topic is all.

By Wise Diva

October 21, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

aw Thanks NY2GA, they haven’t rid of me.. yet :)

By Beautiful

October 21, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

wise in a perfect world. keep dreamin’ girl!

if men were women, WE WOULDN’T BE HERE. lol.

i like men just the way they are: selfish, hunters by nature, go-getters, providers, strong … i wouldn’t change a thing. :-)

By The Truth

October 21, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

China Doll due to some accounting irregularities shipping of your gift card will be delayed. Actually the guys used your money to buy some pizza, beer and strippers for Monday Night Football. Don’t let that detract from what was a great post though. LOL

Dan silence is the mystery ingredient. You could get a chick that’s a straight up winner but if she hasn’t mastered the art of when to shut up its a waste.

Kym when I read that question I first thought yes. After looking at his books I must say no. Something worth reading?

Poppa You underestimate how simple men really are. Great post number #2. If chicks would take the easiest and most logical solution we’d be in accord all the time. LOL

Ared wink wink. LOL

Question: Does anyone really care that Janet Jackson is in town? I mean, she’s so played. I don’t even like her music.

By NY2GA

October 21, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

Wow, it has been over a year or two since I have been on this blog. Wise Diva, glad you are still hear.

I just wanted to make a quick comment.

China girl, I agree with a lot of what you are saying. Someone else also mentioned about a guy will show you what’s up when you meet him, unfortunately, most guys do not hold up to this code. Me, I am upfront and honest, let the person (woman) decide from there. I am not saying tell a life story, but say what it is.. Trust me, you gain more..

By NY2GA

October 21, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

Wow, it has been over a year or two since I have been on this blog. Wise Diva, glad you are still here.

I just wanted to make a quick comment.

China girl, I agree with a lot of what you are saying. Someone else also mentioned about a guy will show you what’s up when you meet him, unfortunately, most guys do not hold up to this code. Me, I am upfront and honest, let the person (woman) decide from there. I am not saying tell a life story, but say what it is.. Trust me, you gain more..

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

Good morning crew!

Now serving…asparagus, watermelon, oysters, and garlic and all those aphrodisiac enhanced foods. Now eat up!…

I like being a chic. I would have loved to be a 70’s chic though.

What I know about being a man? nothing, I know, I want The Man…and that’s it.

ARed Where you been?

PoppaG Do you still have the Macy’s giftcard bruh?

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

October 21, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

Good Day bloggers! Its been a while!!!

On topic: China Doll I have to disagree with you on number 3…men are not more up front with their intentions. This is where the drama comes in. They are so booty driven that they lie to get what they want..basically telling you the magic password to get the legs to open then they disappear!

Let’s see….in order to be a man for a day…I would have to give the brain on my shoulders the day off and let my whole life be led by the little head! Consequences…what are those? Let’s see..check my planner for today: SEX…get dressed…SEX…go to work…SEX…pretend to work as I think of SEX….head home…SEX…work out so I can look good to get SEX….oh I’m hungry, eat…SEX…call one of my h0es up for SEX…time to go to bed..SEX SEX SEX! Wake up and thank God I’m a woman again so my brain has returned from vacation!

Boy I swear if God switched the roles of women and men…I would do so many men dirty just for GP! LOL

Wise You know I love Gossip Girl and I watched last night and cracked up when they played Womanizer for Chuck! LOL

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

AR

We just disagree then.

I just don’t think that it would be easier to relate. IMO it would just be more confusion than anything.

Humans are creatures of comfort and habit. When those things are disturbed, it causes stress. Stress does bad things to the mind and body.

Heck I saw how irritated and gurmpy people in the office were yesterday morning because the MARTA East/West rail lines were way off schedule. That was just something minor. Something as major as a one-day gender change could make people go over the edge.

By Foots

October 21, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

Raqi I really wouldn’t want to be with a man that is like a woman. And by that I do mean the thought process. We (man and woman) need each other just the way we are.

It’s taken me a while to appreciate a man’s man and all the ways that he is different from me. As much as we look for similarities with the person that we date in the beginning, we soon discover all of the male-female differences at play in the relationship. What’s helped me is to understand more about what motivates him, what makes him tick. And realize that not everything that I take as personal is, in fact, personal. Some of it can really be chalked up to “that’s how he is”.

By Wise Diva

October 21, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

@Poppa Grande, just saw this article about an increase in suicide rates. Unbelievable

By Dan

October 21, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

@Truth

So right on….

I’m personally more comfortable in a relationship where talking isn’t a requirement.

It’s comfortable to just sit there, participate in an activity (watching tv, doing a crossword, etc) without having to say anything.

Swear, the women that know “maybe now is not the right time to ask, ‘what are you thinking about?’” win every time.

By Dan

October 21, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

@PG

I just played like 5 games of pick-up B-ball last night.

I get up, and I’m walking like OJ. When asked “what’s wrong with you” what can you say? Nothing.

And just keep shuffling along…

But, bout to hit that Naproxen (Aleve) and mix it with the cold medicine and hold on for the ride!

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

We just disagree then.

PG, I mean, obviously. That’s allowed you know. LOL

Hey Staceye. You’ve been missed.

Cemeeli, Beau and I took a quick vacay, thanks for asking. Hope all is well with you.

By Foots

October 21, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

Dan Elaborate on some of what your life experiences have taught you about the fundamental differences between men and women.

I read an article from a book that I found fascinating about men/women differences. The author is David Deida and the book is “It’s a Guy Thing”. excerpt

He talks about masculine and feminine energy. He talks about some differences that I have encountered in my personal relationships, like men’s ability to focus and how engrossed they become in what they are doing, versus a woman’s ability to adapt, flow, and multitask. You’ll have to read the article, but goodness, it explains a lot about the way a man’s mind works. I’ll have to get the book someday.

What was really interesting in the article was the way he understood how women can “feel” a shift in a man’s attention and intuit a situation, and that guys had no idea that women can do this. It’s like what I talked about last week. He says:

*When I lead men’s groups, we spend a lot of time talking about this. I try to convince the men that women do feel the shifts in a man’s attention. The men don’t believe it. They’ll say, “You’re kidding, right?” I’ll say, “I’m serious. If you’re with a woman and you suddenly turn away and begin to work, she feels it in her body. She feels your attention moving away from her. She feels hurt.” *

I think that would be one of the hardest things to handle for men if they could be women for the day. Intuition. Men receive information on a physical level, concrete information from the world around him. But women receive physical information, emotional information and spiritual information and yes, it is tiring trying to sort through that. Imagine walking into a room and knowing that something just popped off in there. Nobody is saying anything, but you KNOW that something happened. So now on top of all of what you already have going on in your mind, NOW you have to try to make sense of this “feeling” you have that something is off, translating spiritual information into logical information that you can explain to someone else.

Every last man has had his woman ask him “What’s wrong?” when he’s just sitting watching a game. That’s what’s going on. So it’s best for you to just tell her what’s wrong, because if you say “Nothing” because you don’t want to talk about it, her mind is still trying to make sense of what her intuition is telling her about your state of mind.

I can’t imagine that guys could have the gift of intuition and survive. It would be WAY too much information coming in at once on levels that they are not using to dealing on.

By MELO

October 21, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

im sure u knw a python is a big rare snake thats found in the tropics and some other exotic locales.It almost got me when i was 7/8 yrs old while tending after my father’s goats and cows back in kwazulu natal in SA.That thing breeds on other wild animals,deer,buck etc even goats or cows or small kids,like i was back then. It lures its prey by changing its colors,shining its diffrent colors as it makes its way towards the mystified prey.Thats what happened to me on that fateful day as i watched it(i didnt knw what that was)perplexed as it glided in my direction. Luckily for me, i was with a cousin and when i remarked to him,look,there is smething over there, he pushed me aside,grabbed a big log and pounded the thing, before we all hit the vlei,running. U wld never have heard of a melo where it not for him!!! Do u get my drift?????

By Kym

October 21, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Truth Before Eckhart there was Dyer, he has a book out Living the Wisdom of the Tao. I just watching him on a soul series with Oprah and I am thinking of picking it up. Its pretty much along the lines of Eckhart. I have yet to get Freakonomics by the way.

I am collecting all these books so that someday when I am no longer reading about corporation formations, intentional torts, negligence, and shepardizing cases I can actually read something fun.

By Wise Diva

October 21, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

cracking up @ Staceye/Black Mamba, I have to say, you and abc, never disappoint with your comments, LOL, cynicism never looked so good,

Of course there are grains of truth to what both of you state :/ sigh, it really is amazing that we ever even hook up at all, LOL!

By China Doll

October 21, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

For me, looking back in hindsight and in retrospect/self reflection, the guy was always who he said he was or was what I thought he was.

As women and I have done my share, we try to make something outta nothing, whether it’s over analyzing or trynna make a “piece of a man” our knight in shining armour, when we knew he wasn’t even close.

And we are also capable of taking something/someone and draining it to nothing.

It’s a delicate balance. And the same can be said for men, “W******* 2 Housewife.”

By MELO

October 21, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

AR, if the weather over there was as nippy as it waz here yesterday and tday,im sure u and him bonded really nice and good, wit lots of coffee and copious Dzlle….

By The Truth

October 21, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Poppa reminds me of a fight I got in when I was a kid. My older brother throws his arms over my shoulder and tell me he’s proud of me. Then says no matter what never let them know you’re hurt. I can’t remember anything else he told me but I remember that. Oh yeah, he taught me how to play chess. LOL

Dan that’s why IF I ever live with a woman again I’ll have a room that she’s not allowed in, can’t knock on the door, and can’t talk through the door. When I’m in there I don’t exist to you. When I was married we lived in a one bedroom apartment and it was just torture. I don’t ever want to be that close. LOL

By Foots

October 21, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

Dan It’s comfortable to just sit there, participate in an activity (watching tv, doing a crossword, etc) without having to say anything.

And that’s a major difference. Women relate to each other by talking. The more comfortable we get with each other, the more we talk. Hellz, I don’t even have to know you to talk. There have been many “dressing room friends” made when I’ve been out shopping by myself and needed an opinion. Men don’t really relate that way. Y’all seem to relate through some action, either participating in it or watching it.

The difference in communication styles is amazing. When men don’t talk, they are saying that everything is okay. Women think that if we’re not talking, then everything is jacked up. Remember hearing girls talk about their friends: “She not talking to me, she must be mad” That’s what we think when you’re not talking.

It takes time for women to learn the art of “comfortable silence”, just enjoying being with a person without the need for conversation and knowing that just because you’re not talking, nothing is wrong.

It takes time for men to learn the art of “bonding conversation”, just talking for the sake of talking, with no problem to solve, just to feel closer to the person.

If we each understood that and gave each other what we needed from time to time, she wouldn’t blow your ear up talking while the game is on and he wouldn’t just sit there looking bored out of his mind while she’s talking.

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

Cee

Do you still have the Macy’s giftcard bruh?

Uhhhh, what had happened was….

It appears that Mrs. PG noticed that the gift card was still there. So, she felt the need to visit Lenox Square Mall and the Macys store there.

No biggie. I was gonna give it to her anyways She likes to shop way more than I do.

Foots

You post is more a eloquent version of what I was trying to get at.

That is what I’m talking about when I say “confusion”.

By Dan

October 21, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

For those of political indulgences:

http://larrygellman.blogspot.com/2008/10/will-republican-party-survive-and-does.html

About the current (last 10 years) incarnation of the Repbulican party, and the “future” of what it could become.

@QC..please forward to Darryl. Not to rub it in, but I’d truly like to know his thoughts on the matter.

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

if the weather over there was as nippy as it waz here yesterday and tday,im sure u and him bonded really nice and good, wit lots of coffee and copious Dzlle…

LOL! It was beach weather where we were. It was his homecoming weekend so we were out with his friends enjoying the social time.

All that snuggling and bonding can happen right back here in ATL. It’s getting cold here too, and I’ve got a fireplace and some spiked cocoa!

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

Melo why ARed’s get-a-way had to be an sexcapade excrusion? Lol…i think Leggs is right about you able to turn any subject into viagra. Lol

mytwo and we know. He ain’t gon’ buss a grape. Lord bless him.

By Foots

October 21, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

More fascinating comments from this book/article. I swear that when I read this, SO many things made sense. It made me think how difficult it must be to be a guy. So guys, is this really how you feel?

At their core, most men feel constrained by life. It is a struggle for men to simply enjoy life. Most everything feels like a constraint and an obligation to them. It sometimes feels this way to women also, but for most men it always feels this way. Have you seen the bumper stickers that say, “Life sucks”? That’s the masculine motto. That’s why all men are driven either to escape or conquer life. They may do this by becoming absorbed in the newspaper, watching TV, making a lot of money, using drugs, or even by practicing meditations which promise to help them transcend daily life. Daily life. Being in a body, having relationships, caring for children, needing to eat. Existence seems like a burden or a challenge to most men, something to work on or escape from, something to conquer.

Because a woman is so connected to life, it’s hard for her to understand the need to conquer or escape it. But for most men, even being in a body is a problem. If a man is the conqueror type, he will attempt to push his body and make it do what he wants, applying his energy to push toward victory in the affairs of life. For a man life seems like a constraint, be it his body, his relationship or his work-until he learns to practice love. Just like Jesus on the cross, most men feel crucified by life. A spiritually mature man learns to love in the midst of this crucifixion. Even so, he may still feel like life is a sacrifice. I’m overstating this to make a point, but men are always attempting to do something with life, because they are not at home in life. Rarely is a man capable of being love in the midst of life, submitting to the crucifixion, suffering life’s limitations, and yet bringing love into his relationships.

By Chink

October 21, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

Dan

I’m personally more comfortable in a relationship where talking isn’t a requirement.

I am the same …by the way the men I have dated have complained I dont talk alot ..they always want to know what I am thinking.

Thats what I mean when I say we are not that different. I have a quota on mindless chatter..gossip..and ill intentional talk.

ARED is it you who watches heroes? I watched it last night ..no cable yet…rabbit ears…getting the most 2 channels ….and its pretty good!!

Melo I really dont have men figured out because you all different! Just some things have been ie “normal”. Yeah I am very down to earth.

By MELO

October 21, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

if you say “Nothing” because you don’t want to talk about it, from what i knw based on what i do, if i havent figured it myself or hw im going to solve it, i wont say it.I prefer telling u when i already have a solution. Remember the tree house i told u about at my house.Queen has gotten ideas from a neighor friend about erecting a fence and the wife has even suggested to Queen that i contact her husband so he helps me erect the fence. I told queen, im still thinking of a solution.She calls me at wrk to yep about ideas and what she shld tell her neighbor friend. I said tell her nothing coz i havent made up my mind.Queen is in a fit as we speak.

By Kym

October 21, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

Great Post Foots!! It does in the end come down to balance.

By Beautiful

October 21, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

When I was married we lived in a one bedroom apartment and it was just torture. I don’t ever want to be that close. LOL

and you think we do? lol. when i was pregnant, i cried alot. i would run to the guest room and hide. not even five minutes later … knock, knock, knock. i would look at him like he was crasy. lol. omg! he was like a little puppy dog and would follow me all over the house. i was always happy to see him go to work. so clingy. a private room is a must in a relationship. and also a california king size bed. move over already!. lol.

hi staceye!

By Dan

October 21, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

@Foots

I beg to disagree.

It is not best for me to tell her what’s wrong. Although I do agree that women sense the changes in focus.

That’s my time. My time to process what I’m feeling, process how I’mma deal with it, etc.

When women go through things and want “to be left alone”, most men do so, and we deserve the same respect. When I’m ready to tell you, when I can explain it myself, I’ll let you know.

The other thing, the “attention away from her”. Is that wrong? Must my undivided attention be on my lady 100% of the time?

Maybe you made a statement that reminded me of something that I forgot to do/finish.

That’s what I mean about silence, leave me my 10% of time to handle it on my own…when I need you, believe me Baby I will tell you all about it.

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

why ARed’s get-a-way had to be an sexcapade excrusion?

LOL. Good point Cemeeli. Don’t know that many people that get amped to do it on hotel sheets when they’ve got their own love den back home. LOL

is it you who watches heroes?

Chink, I have all the episodes Tivo’d! The season kicked off with a 3 hour premiere and I haven’t had that much time to watch. So now I have to find 6 hours or so to watch it since I’ve missed the entire season thus far. My friends say it’s complicated this season so I want to pay attention!

No cable? Have you moved?

By Dan

October 21, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

@Foots

No man is trying to “conquer life”, just his slice of it.

I’ll admit to finding peace when the bills are all paid, my lady is in her space chillin, family and friends are okay, and work is fine. That’s about 10 minutes of an entire year.

The rest of the time, I keeping things moving to get them where I want them to be.

The greatest strength of a man is knowing that you ain’t gone be able to solve everything, do everything and get everything right. Just your slice.

That little bit of life that I have to deal with everyday.

That’s all a nikka want, besides sex, food and silence.

Hell, in that silence it’s me trying to have some semblance of order!

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Uhh, what had happened was.

Cee now bish slappin’ PoppaG and making him carry all his books in his Argyle sweater while chasing a run-a-way chicken thru Vine City.

It appears that Mrs. PG noticed that the gift card was still there. So, she felt the need to visit Lenox Square Mall and the Macys store there.

That’s my kind of gurl. She know what to do! It was not an urge PoppaG, shopping is innate for some of us women! I have a feeling Mrs. G felt drawn by her spirit somehow. LOL…

By MELO

October 21, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Melo why ARed’s get-a-way had to be an sexcapade excrusion u knw ared aint married yet right??The only cples who take pudsy sabbatical when they go on vacation are marrieds,like me coz theyve been hitting that sack countless times.Single folks dnt take vac and then sleep facing opposite ends or jus sleeping.They take vac specifically to bond mentally and physically. U disppoint me tday!!.Why uall acting innocent like wise yesterday,suggesting the only reciprcal favors she gave her dates was to carry equipment and help with dogg duties.We checked her on that tho so she was str8 by end of day!!

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

That’s allowed you know. LOL

LOL…Not according to the fine print on section 306, subsection II, paragraph 4, line 2 of the MIA bylaws.

You gotta read the fine print.

Fine print is one of the two main things that have allowed this country to grow into what it is today.

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

When men don’t talk, they are saying that everything is okay. Women think that if we’re not talking, then everything is jacked up.

Foots, this is true. But this reminds me of feedback I’ve taken from men and applied it to my life.

I’m good with silence because of this. I don’t automatically think something is wrong just because he’s not saying anything. And I’ve found it nice to be alone with my own thoughts without feeling pressure to occupy silence with chatter. It’s comforting.

Beau and I got back from vacation last night. He’s called to check on my and I’ve responded, but I haven’t reached out to him at all. I’m sure he appreciates time to decompress and to be honest, I need that time too. I’m a loner, I don’t like to be around one person for too long! LOL

By kimmie

October 21, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

Morning Blog Fam Waiting on a Sears Technician to come and fix my fridge.

Foots/PG - I like your posts and can relate to the confusion. I know when all is well a relationship when I am comfortable with the “comfortable silence”. I don’t feel weird, like we should be talking. My SO & I do it all the time, we are comfortable in each others company being quiet, doing something together or individually but in the same room. But like Foots said, I can “feel” when things are off. Thats when the silence is “uncomfortable”.

I’ve told you all before about my SO being a widower. He lost his wife a little over 2 years ago. We went to a wedding this past weekend for his BIL. His kids were in the wedding and we were surrounded by his late wife’s family. He’s always wonderful and attentive to me, but I can always feel when he is missing or mourning his wife, even when not in obvious settings like this weekend. A sadness comes over the vibe of the entire room, even though he says nothing about it. I feel it very strongly and it is at these times I try to gauge what it is he needs, whether he wants company or needs his space. He eventually snaps out of it and always asks me “Are you okay?”, as if he knows he was dealing with it and if I noticed. We have not talked about it, but its like the elephant in the room sometimes. Thats why I’m not in a rush with him, though a few outside friends think I should. Thats why you have to keep so-called friends out of your business!

By Foots

October 21, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

Dan I didn’t say that anything was WRONG, what I said was that these are differences. Differences that I experience and deal with on a daily basis.

Understanding is the key. If you understand why she has asked you what’s wrong, maybe you’ll know that she’s not just trying to bother you. She knows there is something wrong. That’s the point. Understanding where each other is coming from. So if you don’t want to tell her now, do what melo does: Tell her that yes, you are thinking about something, but you’ll tell her all about it when you have something worked out. That’s better than saying “Nothing”. At least you will be telling the truth if you let her know concretely what her intuition has already identified to her spiritually. I’m telling you, just knowing that it’s something else and not her, makes her mind so much more free. And I’m sure it’s a benefit to you that she will leave you to think instead of continuing to ask you what’s wrong.

If you are sincere about taking notes and learning, that’s positive. If you already know what you know and don’t want to know anything else, that’s your prerogative.

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

No man is trying to “conquer life”, just his slice of it.

Dan I agree. ———-> Dayum!

By Dan

October 21, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

@Foots and Kym

Tolle, Dyer, Bun ki Moon, etc. There was people and nature.

You don’t have to read no book, listen to no tape, hell, even hear it from me.

Finding out the best way to deal with what one may consider problems in life is easy as isht.

Sit the ckuf down, tune out everything, and sort it out in your mind. Reboot your brain.

The time you spent reading the books, while informative as they may be, I’m sure you finished and realized that you knew innately what these cats were saying in the first place. It took them to frame it for you.

Foots, I’mma pay you a compliment. Lawd help me

Seems like you into figuring the stuff out, in that you’re mind is more rational than most chicks.

But you don’t need a Time Life series of books/CD’s. Take the time to just sit in a room and think about these things.

For anybody that writes like I do. You’ll write something and not know where it came from: I’ll tell you. It’s called the collective consciousness (not only a psychological theory, but folklore as well).

Each of have it in us to solve our own issues, life is about taking the time to take an honest inventory of what they are, and then fixing them.

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

Hi Kimmie. Good to read you.

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

The only cples who take pudsy sabbatical when they go on vacation are marrieds,like me coz theyve been hitting that sack countless times.

LOL melo I guess I’m a single person that approaches sex like a married person then. LOL. I’ll let you think what you want about that then. LOL

By MELO

October 21, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

I really dont have men figured out because you all different U are lying to urself Chink..ur’e in denial.All men are dogs so stop that uall diffrnt nonsense.U said it at the very begning,men have a diffrent attitude on sex than women.So why u changing ur slogan?? That sexx issue is the most funamental on men.Halle Berry has gone thru 9/10 marriages(am i exaggerating??) in her LYFE all coz of her tightness on sexx!! Now she is wit a lame gay guy who hits once a month….lol Once u realize that, u can tell a man anything and f*** his azz off,as long as he knows and assuerd, he is coming back home to hit ur willing pudsy self,u are forgiven on any tragressions!!!

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

Cee

• run-a-way chicken thru Vine City.*

You must have been through my ‘hood recently. We have a stray chicken running around. I’m surprised the he hasn’t ended up on someone’s table, yet.

Foots

I’m not trying to conquer life. I’m just trying to get what’s mine. No one is gonna give me anything. I have to work my arse of to get it.

By NY2GA

October 21, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

Black Mamba, you state all men think about is SEX, SEX, SEX. I know it’s not real, but read the book by EJD (Eric Jerome Dickey), Pleasure … Again, not saying it’s true, but I have met women like Nia..

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

Hey kimmie, what is wrong with your fridge? I’ve been having some fridge problems of my own. My fridge is about 2 years old, so I’m kinda stumped about why it’s acting up.

By Chink

October 21, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

ARED

yup I just moved into a new home at the beginning of Oct…finally things are coming together!

Ffoots sounds like you are talking about that word …”compromise”

By Dan

October 21, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

@Foots

Real question:

If I’m sitting there in silence, thinking about at whatever, she’s uncomfortable?

Really?

Is it an insecurity? Or that crazy woman thing?

And yes, I am taking mental notes..

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

yup I just moved into a new home at the beginning of Oct…finally things are coming together!

Congrats Chink, I love to hear stuff like that. :-)

passing you a bottle of wine for the housewarming

By NY2GA, Inc.

October 21, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

I’ll admit to finding peace when the bills are all paid, my lady is in her space chillin, family and friends are okay, and work is fine. That’s about 10 minutes of an entire year.

@Dan-You gotta be kidding with only 10 minutes of peace per year. I was hoping the 10:56 posted by Foots didn’t hold true with regards to how men felt about the world. But, if some men exist with only limited peace then that would explain why suicide rates are increasing. I’d try to take myself out too if I didn’t have any peace in my life.

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

PoppaG…G…G…G you’re losing sight homie! You mention that run-a-way chicken on the blog.

Melo Someone dear to my heart told me: A man that has the woman for him at home can go out and have fun, drink without ANY inhibitions (at the strip club too) because he has what he wants right at home. True?

By The Truth

October 21, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Foots that last post is so much bs it hurts. First, most guys don’t know LOVE as women know it. For women it’s a feeling. For men it’s an action. A cat may always remember his first crush but he’ll never forget the chick that cooked for him or braided his hair(ok, I just dated myself). We express that emotion in different ways. A woman may say she loves you but if she holds out on that azz then dude is looking for the exit because he has nothing else to hold on to.

Also, that guy sounds like he’s taken many rides on the dizzle highway with that For a man life seems like a constraint, be it his body, his relationship or his work-until he learns to practice love. A man should have a motor and motors are made to run. What that guy is talking about is a dude thats always on the hunt, always looking to eat. The way it should be.

Of all the joys you can have being a dude is one of them. To have so many gears available to you to get the job done is great. I’d say guys that aren’t holding the whole deck could have a hard time but playing with a few cards missing is always tough.

I’ll tell you what, take any cat that thinks he’s highly civilized and drop him in the woods for a week without food and he’ll be introduced to his real self. The things that dude will do will boggle the mind. Thats when he’s at his best.

By Tazzee

October 21, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

I haven’t read all the comments but Foots - I love your 10:40, thanks for sharing that.

now let me read on to see which men took issue with it and your counter-arguments, LOL

By Foots

October 21, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

Poppa I have to work my arse of to get it.

I believe that that was his point. He called it something different than you, but that’s the gist of it. That life is a challenge, normal daily life requires sacrifice (many men would rather be playing sports than being on the grind or dating exotic women instead of being faithful to one), that sometimes, being the head of household and having so many obligations is often constricting (men enjoy freedom).

Even if not all men feel this way, I can see how those type of feelings motivates the man I’m with. It helps me appreciate what he does even more and not take any of this for granted.

By Chink

October 21, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

MELO

I know what I said and I didnt say this All men are dogs so stop that uall diffrnt nonsense.U said it at the very begning,men have a diffrent attitude on sex than women YOU said that.

What I meant is that how we deal with sex is different such as the emotionally side, when to do it side, when to bring it up side…there are different factors in sex. I wasnt talking about the act I was talking about it as a whole…sexuality if you must. And I dont think all men are dogs!

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

Cee

Oh…alright. I remember now.

I am just thinking about my con law class today.

I read the US Supreme Court opinion *Bushv. Gore last night for that class. (2000 presidential election) It really pizzed me off. So, I am thinking of how to phrase to stuff in class. W/out profanity and all.*

By Beautiful

October 21, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

trying to figure men out … we have better things to do with our time. where this makes sense is when one is married or in a committed relationship leading to marriage. you want to know as much as you can about your partner in crime. understandable. but when i look at him, i don’t waste time with what is he thinking, why does he do that a particular way, why does he do this instead of that, etc. there’s a reason why we’re different and to be honest, i don’t want to know the reason. men and women, our differences, make the world go round. i wouldn’t have met some great men in my life if we didn’t have differences. we shouldn’t question it. He knew what he was doing.

By kimmie

October 21, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

Hey Cee!

Amred - The fridge makes the same sounds like its running fine and the light comes on when I open it, but it is not cooling at all. I was out of town all day Friday thru Sunday and that side of the fridge was basically warm. The butter had gotten soft and other than obviously needing refridgeration, I bake cakes on the side, so I really need it. Everything is still frozen on the freezer side, but its going down too. Luckily I have a deep freezer to put some things in, but I had to throw everything else out. It was new, with tags still on it when I moved in the house 6 years ago. My boss said this is a common problem that is fixable, but that damn technician is not here and I am going to have to leave soon for work! I’m mad as H!

By Foots

October 21, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

kimmie A sadness comes over the vibe of the entire room, even though he says nothing about it. I feel it very strongly and it is at these times I try to gauge what it is he needs, whether he wants company or needs his space…

That’s the feeling exactly. Because my SO’s personality is so big, his mood swings are twice the size. When he’s up, he could probably power all the appliances in my house with his energy. But when he’s down, my own spirit is sad. I try to do the same thing to gauge what he needs and it’s a learning process. Most of the times for him, since his is job-related, he just needs to be left alone. When I go off and get busy on my own, he usually comes to find me once he has released whatever had his mind.

Dan If I’m sitting there in silence, thinking about at whatever, she’s uncomfortable?

Sometimes, yes. Do you understand that women bond through conversation? Men don’t usually do that. So it’s foreign to you to think how women can be bothered by silence sometimes. It’s foreign to most women how necessary silence is for a man. We can think that each other is crazy, or we can break through that shallowness to understand what drives the differences.

But that’s why you asked the question right? To learn differences?

By Chink

October 21, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

OH my goodness! Truth

I think you need to retract most guys and just say you…because I have yet to meet anyone quite like that….but then again maybe thats your reality.

By Dan

October 21, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

@Chink

And I dont think all men are dogs!

There may be hope for you yet.

@NY2

10 minutes in a year, okay, 10 minutes a day. Life ain’t that hectic but when you set the chess board up for the kill, and your opponent makes some completely random move, you’re intial reaction is like “WTF?”

But you adjust and counter and keep going. So while it’s not Sissyphus, it ain’t easy neither.

@PG

If a cat was raised right there’s a fine line between “getting it” and “taking it”. Walking that line is kinda hard from time to time.

And I don’t mean violence, I’m talking “I could sell an Eskimo an ice cream sammich” kinda getting it. Breaking your word/code/sense of honor or self as a means to achieve an end.

@Truth

I kinda see what you’re saying a lil bit.

When I was younger that motor was sent and aimed at azz. I notice more and more that it’s not. Not that I won’t take what’s offered But in general, if you can’t find or conceieve of something that drives you out of bed in the morning - might as well quit.

That’s why the suicide rate is higher among men, some nikka’s give up.

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

PoppaG I knew you had on the Argyle sweater! Lol…Listen, you always read to me as a good paraphrase’er. I’m sure you will did well in this con law class.

kimmie if you bake me personal size red velvet cake i’ll tell your boss why you got caught ine traffic. hehehe…

By MELO

October 21, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

I meant is that how we deal with sex is different such as the emotionally side, when to do it side, when to bring it up side GET this…(i will say it once),Men want it all the time

And I dont think all men are dogs! u are in sme funk..evry no-virgin man has been a dog to some girl and the surrent girl calls him prince charming.The next man u meet and hopefully marry has dogged other females in the past.He will go on to dogg u but hopefully ur marriage will wither that storm.Anybody here in a committed marriage married a reformed dogg,hopefuly that will last. Stop fullying urself.The other day u said u were not going to open ur leggs hopefully untill the prince charming arrives.I hope u wont choose a used man,who was dogging other females in his past!!GOOD LUCK.

drink without ANY inhibitions (at the strip club too) because he has what he wants right at home. True? YEP. Taken further, u can take me and queen to the most exotic locale on earth for 2 weeks and all we do may be jus holding each other in our arms and kiss softly and jus lay on the couch,enjoying the sunshine.Our lov has endured and the content is inside.Not many of u on the blog can do that! When u singles get away, all the way to destnation, u thinking of what the sexx apprch wl be the moment u lay dwn the bags in ur room!!

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

take any cat that thinks he’s highly civilized and drop him in the woods for a week without food and he’ll be introduced to his real self.

Truth, on a side note, can u imagine doing this with a girlfriend? My friend and her man did “Survivor School” in Utah. They dropped them off in the woods for a week and they had to deal. They went hungary and cold the first couple nights. There is a guide there, but only in extreme situations, so extreme that folks HAVE died doing this under their watch.

In any case, they are still together. Obviously, she’s not your typical female, she also does mixed martial arts and she and her man have sex every night! LOL

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

Truth

For women it’s a feeling. For men it’s an action.

Totally agree.

For a man, love is coming home everyday to his woman. Making sure her car is clean, oil changed, etc. Making sure that the house is safe, and secure as humanly possible. It is more of a “I’ll show you” kind of thing. That is why men love a woman that cooks. It is an action that demonstrates the love that she “feels” for me. At least, that is how it is interpreted.

I know that I have dated women that wanted to hear those three words. I am a doer (I think most men are doers).

Ocassionally, though, I remember those women, and tell my wife those words. ‘Cause I know that she likes to hear them from time to time.

By Foots

October 21, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

Dan Take the time to just sit in a room and think about these things.

My mind doesn’t operate that way. I have degrees in Engineering and Finance, not Philosophy. I’m more hands on. I do and learn. I read and learn. I experience and learn. Your method works for you and that’s great. But you really can’t tell another person what learning method works best for them.

Truth LOL!! I’ll tell him that you disagree if I ever meet him. I don’t agree with everything that Tolle said either and I know that’s your boy, so we even.

Chink Yes, “compromise” sums it up. Give a little to get a little.

By abc

October 21, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

Cynical, moi? Certainly not!

Foots and kimmie, I’d venture to say that the up-and-down effects your SO’s feelings have on you are due mostly to your feelings for them rather than the force of their own personalities. It’s more of a testimonial to the way you care about the way they feel than a commentary on them. Which is a good thing, I figure, for the couple.

That’s a difference between women and men. The women react based upon the gravity of their own feelings, projected upon the man, and the man is standing saying “where in the world did all that come from?” — surprised to learn that it came from him. Only it didn’t come from him, it came from her regard for him. Kind of convoluted.

By Wise Diva

October 21, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

trying to figure men out … we have better things to do with our time you have a point, at the same time, I think there is a difference in trying to figure them out, and learning how you differ from them, so you can acknowledge it and have realistic expectations for relationships.

By Dan

October 21, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

@Chink

I agree with Truth about feeling vs action.

Any dude worth his salt finds out his woman loves him by what she does and how she does it.

For that matter, that’s how a dude communicates love by “trying” to do stuff.

@Angie

Figuring out the opposite sex aids your relationships and your self-development.

If you’re stuck on the day to day, you missing a whole world of what’s going on.

@Foots

Yeah, that’s why I asked the question.

And I’m working on it, trying to be “more communicative” but all that talking hurt my brain.

Really, I’mma have to get like Truth. When it’s “silence time”, put up a sign or something.

By Kym

October 21, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

Dan Of course we know exactly what they are trying to convey in the books because as you say “innately we know what the author is saying. But I am a firm believer because we are so wrapped up in thinking sometimes, we need someone or something to remind us to come back to the middle so to speak and just stop.

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

Cee I knew you had on the Argyle sweater!

LOL…I am wearing a sweater vest with shirt and tie underneath today.

Some of the co-workers started singing “Motownphilly” when they saw me this morning…lol

By Dan

October 21, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

@Foots

Another serious question:

So you read the book to come to an understanding, or to clarify something you already knew?

By kimmie

October 21, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

Cee - Just let me know with or without nuts! But I have to make boss man one too cause he likes my cakes!

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

Because my SO’s personality is so big, his mood swings are twice the size. When he’s up, he could probably power all the appliances in my house with his energy. But when he’s down, my own spirit is sad.

I too can relate. So when he’s down, I’ll ask the requisite “you okay?” If the answer is “I’m straight” or something that doesn’t give me the answer I’m looking for I just say “okay, if you want to talk, you know where to find me” Then I leave him the heck alone! LOL. I’ve found he’s similar to melo and he doesn’t want to talk until an answer to the problem has been found. So I give him that.

When he totally puts me off, I’ll remind him that I’m not the enemy here. He has been better at least acknowledging he’s in a mood. So I try to respect that and let him deal, alone. Some people just prefer it that way.

By Foots

October 21, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

abc I’d venture to say that the up-and-down effects your SO’s feelings have on you are due mostly to your feelings for them rather than the force of their own personalities.

You’d venture that because you can’t possibly understand, due to you never being a woman. If you did understand how in tune women are on an emotional and spiritual level to other people, I’d be very surprised.

You get a pass.

By NY2GA

October 21, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

NY2GA, Inc.. Swipped the tag, guess I have been gone a long time .. What part of the NY?

By MELO

October 21, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

I guess I’m a single person that approaches sex like a married person then here is my wish for u coz i sincerely have ur back in this..i want beau to cater to ur needs as much as possible.Sock his wallet dry,if u will and let him do it gladly!!I knw we are in a blog but forget ur friends advice 4 a sec coz that wnt get u nowhere.Listen to me!! If he obliges in taking care of u,make sure he is well supplied and u dnt come up with spurrious excuses when he wants to hit…no feigned headaches etc.Thats a win win, right.And i knw u cooking skills are good so when he huffing and puffing, leave him lying there and make him smething decent so he replenshes his energy.The fact that its u cooking is better than any testestorone medicine the best doc can prescribe.His brain and swagger wl feel like he is floating in space.On top of the wrld for real. Most females esp on this blog, were never toght this simple equation and u glad u got it from me. Is that so hard??

By Tazzee

October 21, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

That’s a difference between women and men. The women react based upon the gravity of their own feelings, projected upon the man, and the man is standing saying “where in the world did all that come from?” — surprised to learn that it came from him. Only it didn’t come from him, it came from her regard for him. Kind of convoluted.

Convoluted, but so true. Thanks for breaking that down abc

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

u can take me and queen to the most exotic locale on earth for 2 weeks and all we do may be jus holding each other in our arms and kiss softly and jus lay on the couch,enjoying the sunshine.Our lov has endured and the content is inside.

Uhn, look at the beauty of that…hmmmm.

melo I have more to say but i digress. Continue in this you have with you wife. That inspires the single folk.

lunchtime

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

October 21, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

Oh Wise You know me….I’m always Staceye! And no abc and I are not the same person! LOL

Foots my bumper sticker shoudl read: Life Sucks….so let’s go shopping! LOL that is my therapy! Eating used to be..but that has fat effects. I had to find another vice. I could never be a sex addict because I don’t like anybody! LOL I got to like you to do you!

Beautiful hey girl! LOL I am like you..I can not stand a clingy man! EWWW! That is why I doubt I can be married. Hell I don’t even see a relationship for me. I will grow tired of a man real quick!

NY2GA yes Sex is all men thingk about..even the ones who can no longer do it without the help of Viagra!

By Beautiful

October 21, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

Figuring out the opposite sex aids your relationships and your self-development.

please read my comment again! i don’t think a female should meet a guy and on day one try to figure him out.

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

melo, are you somehow under the impression that he’s not getting what he needs from me? I’m not really following where you are going. LOL.

All I’m telling you is that I’m not going into details, so you can think what you’d like. LOL

By Kym

October 21, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

PoppaG Awww Gore v Bush..you know that case spent a few microseconds at the District Court here. Wonder if we are going to have a repeat this year?

Dan This got cut off.. I really believe we are all connected. Taking religion out, and at the core all of nature and nations are connected by the spirit. So for me in reading books like Tolle, Dyer and the Bible(New Testament-red type only) I use them as tools to help me to connect back to the spirit.

By MELO

October 21, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

It is an action that demonstrates the love that she “feels” for me. At least, that is how it is interpreted Believe me, i did not read ur post when i gave that advice to ared.Im glad she got blog validation from a married man!! I want u to get that man ared

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

For a man, love is coming home everyday to his woman. Making sure her car is clean, oil changed, etc. Making sure that the house is safe, and secure as humanly possible. It is more of a “I’ll show you” kind of thing

PG/Truth, so if a guy does the above more than actually saying “I love you” does a girl have anything to worry about? Or does he need to say it just as much?

By MELO

October 21, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

Nope,i knw u str8 ared but its an informercial.The lurkers are taking notes,trust me.

By Foots

October 21, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

Wise learning how you differ from them, so you can acknowledge it and have realistic expectations for relationships

That’s exactly it for me. Realistic expectations can make or break a relationship. Adjusting my own expectations based on what I have learned about men over the past few years, even few months, has made all the difference in how I relate to the opposite sex.

Dan I probably do the same thing that you do when you read. When a topic interests me, I research it. Sometimes, I read to learn things I don’t know. Sometimes, I read to clarify things I have experienced. And sometimes, I read because I love the subject. Knowledge is appreciated by me regardless of where it comes from.

A funny thing I experience in my classes… Several people in my CFP program are already in the industry. They think they already know what they need to know, because they practice it everyday, so they rarely read the book we’re assigned. People who are career changers like myself read everything we can get our hands on because we don’t have much experience and have a strong desire and incentive to learn. Guess who does better in the class?

By Chink

October 21, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

Dan

Well I admit I didnt read his whole post…I just can’t relate. While what you said makes sense to me.

Melo

I tried and I don’t get where all that came from …but so be it.

Ya’ll aint raising my blood pressure today!

What I do know is what I have experienced…but I am not a man hater. I love my men even when they get on my last nerves! And yes anything is possible and there are good men out there and my legs will remain closed until _ _ ___ lol. too funny

By China Doll

October 21, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

Melo

Gotcha!!! Figured as much!!! LOL

By The Truth

October 21, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

Ared if a guy says “I love you” it’s because you’ve done something specifically or he’s just trying to please you. In his mind he really doesn’t need to tell you if he’s showing you. Like PG said, the proof is in the actions. Cleaning the car, making sure it’s full of gas, doing the things that she needs to have done that she may not specialize in. If you cook something hella scruptious or tell him how great he is during sex he’ll have a strong desire to utter those words, but its usually tied tothat action. LOL

By Dan

October 21, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

@Chink, et al.

For you insistance of “keeping your legs closed” don’t keep your heart closed or your mind to the possibilities of what may be…

By Foots

October 21, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

Dan And I’m working on it, trying to be “more communicative” but all that talking hurt my brain.

I had to learn that SO doesn’t need details. So I try to cut that part out. I let him know that there is more to the story, just in case he gets curious, but that this is “long story short”.

And when I call him now, I’ve learned to identify what type of call it is: Real Quick or Hey How You Doing. That lets him know whether this will take 2 minutes or 20. If he picks up and I say “Real quick, blah, blah, blah..” he tunes in for the whole two minutes, we exchange information, and we hang up. When I say “Hey, how you doing?” he knows that I am just calling to talk and he usually proceeds to multitask for the duration of the call, unless I start talking about politics, stock prices or macroeconomic theory.

See? I’m learning too.

By Foots

October 21, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

Amazon Truthfully, I like to be told AND shown. And if he does specific things that he knows that I believe shows his love (as opposed to things that HE believes shows his love), it’s even better than if he told me.

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 12:29 PM | Link to this

In his mind he really doesn’t need to tell you if he’s showing you. Like PG said, the proof is in the actions.

Truth, thanks. Beau is all about action these days and it’s been a little unnerving to me. He wants to fix stuff all the time now. He’s been giving me a lot of suggestions to make my life easier and better. It’s tripping me out though, I hate to admit…

By Beautiful

October 21, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

leggs i had to start taking my computer cord with me to work everyday. lol. my baby is growing up! getting more and more curious. i do still allow him computer time, but have noticed that while i’m away he was doing his thang.

i catch myself telling people his height, etc all the time. like he was just born yesterday. lol. gurl, he’s 6’1 now and wear a size 15 shoe! can’t wait for basketball season to start. go falcons!

By Beautiful

October 21, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

and learning how you differ from them, so you can acknowledge it and have realistic expectations for relationships.

best comment today! all in a nutshell.

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

Truthfully, I like to be told AND shown.

Foots, I think all of us ladies will cosign on this! I do want to get to a man’s nature. I tend not to overthink things, so I just want to make sure I’m not missing out on something important.

Thinking back, my parents were not mushy lovey dovey type people. They just DID things, they didn’t say things. They told us kids that they loved us all the time, but their relationship didn’t need that kind of verbal validation.

By Kym

October 21, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

PoppaG If you email Hines tell him I said keeping throwing down the smack down out there on the field. Those are clean hits..this is football..and that rookie just got a welcome to the NFL. If they want to keep throwing fines tell him to setup a special account for fines. He has been hit with 15,000k the last two games(NFL is seriously on that cronic or something) All this pattycake football is for the birds..next they will have them wearing ballet slippers.

FOOTBALL the only time I can even begin to try to understand men.

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 1:29 PM | Link to this

co-workers started singing “Motownphilly” when they saw me this morning…

PoppaG I beat you blushed. I have’ta make my son rock that look for events. Then when a few lil ladies and grown women tell him he looks nice, he wanna look at me and grin. I told him his momma has style

Kimme may I have my red velvet cake without nuts, please? Thank you

Hey Beautiful.

By MELO

October 21, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this

Quick qstion:anybody out there eating lunch at their desk??

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

PoppaG i meant: I bet you blushed.

By Dan

October 21, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this

@Melo

Me. I do it so that no matter how long I’m gone to get it, I take a 30 minute lunch

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this

Melo Yes, I am eating an apple and having some energy juice.

Why?

By China Doll

October 21, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this

Melo

I was…..vegetable soup and salad.

By Foots

October 21, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

I finally won a game in my first Fantasy Football league. How the hellz can somebody be 1-6?

By MELO

October 21, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

the bengals are 1-6 arent they?? sorry azzes!!

By MELO

October 21, 2008 1:55 PM | Link to this

why, i ate black eyes peas myself so i had so much ammonia gas in my belly.Waz jus trying to be respectful coz the fart was trying to shoot out so bad.

By Dan

October 21, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

@melo

Bengals 0 and 7

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

October 21, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this

MELO I think you just spoiled my lunch at my desk! EWWWWW!

Can some1 provide me with a recap?! Thanks!! And hello errbody! Mo waving frantically at all of Blogsville

By Kym

October 21, 2008 2:07 PM | Link to this

awww Foots…Congrats/Condolences not sure what to say. Okay you like to study, then you have to study Football and Football players.*Lawd knows studying a man in football pants, brings me much joy. especially that black that Jacksonville wears..something about a squeezeable male booty in football pants…sorry what was I talking about?

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this

why, i ate black eyes peas myself so i had so much ammonia gas in my belly.Waz jus trying to be respectful coz the fart was trying to shoot out so bad.

I say again, some thangs you should not even say! Lol…you are fool!

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

Mo Recap: The men are out getting their slice of life and the women are leaning on the wall grabbing their balls.

Oh, PoppaG is somewhere singing Motown Philly songs and looking at the patterns on his sweater…

Tell the Demigod, what up from Cee.

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

October 21, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli ie, the recap so its opposite day up in Blogsville huh?! Okay well I want to be Truth! (Hey Truth) :0) Okay, thanks for that recap, im cool now

PoppaG I am loving the MotownPhilly look on ya bruh! :0)

By kimmie

October 21, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

Just got to work, had to reschedule fixing of the fridge:(! I’m perturbed!

abc - I’d venture to say that the up-and-down effects your SO’s feelings have on you are due mostly to your feelings for them rather than the force of their own personalities. No, I would venture to say the loss of his wife, and his mourning of that is a very real force! The sad pall that comes over the atmosphere without him saying a word is usually after some reminder, like being at her brothers wedding or when he got the final cemetery bill, Mother’s Day, etc. Has nothing to do with my feelings for him. I’ve never loss a spouse, but I’ve lost both parents and a brother, so I’m sensitive to some of what he may be feeling. I also understand that men deal with grief differently than women, I observed my dad after losing mom & my brother, and other men I know that lost loved ones. But like Foots said, you get a pass cause you just don’t get it.

I observe children and how they have no qualms about interrupting when you are busy, watching your favorite show, reading, etc. But they are children. As they get older, they catch on that it’s not a good idea to interrupt when they see you are otherwise occupied. I don’t really get the complaints from the men on the blog that they crave silence and get tired of being bugged and questioned “what’s wrong” and getting interrupted while their watching the game, etc. I know it drives me nuts even when I’m at work, intent on what I’m doing, and because I’m not “Chatty Kathy” that day, I constantly get asked “what’s wrong” in a whiney voice! I want to SCREAM! I don’t need or want someone all up on me 24/7, please let me up for air! Who ARE these women that most of you blog men are running into?! Dang, you would think they would know better than to behave like some irritating kid and bug the H out of a dude all the time. Can’t they get the hint when you don’t want to be bothered or that you’re BUSY?!! Don’t they have a life, you know, other things they could be busy doing or enjoying too?!! I just can’t believe the majority of GROWN AZZ women you are meeting are like that! Or are you just bashing, like you do most every day on the blog and just want to vent? Just curious!LOL!!!

By MELO

October 21, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

Where is For real. We cannot get a recap Mo coz the wmen are trying to be man for a second but the men, at Truth’s urging arent buying it and are resisting to swap for the pudsy.Truth feels the wmen wont return the ballz once they get hold of them.So we have a stalemate Wise

By The Truth

October 21, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

What the hellz is that smell in here? Smells like rotten black eye peas. Yuck

Mo what’s up woman? If you’re me then I’m you. That means you need to go shopping and bring me some groceries. Get going man. LOL

I just took my dogs for a walk and I have one word for this day. Gorgeous. About 70 and pretty as can be. There’s a lake in my subdivision and it is so nice and peaceful.

Ared I think alot of women will say they love because they’re programmed that way. You’re looking at the chick like wtf?? Absolutely no actions but alot of words. Keep em. I’m glad the waters getting hotter in that pot. BTW, I bought you a special phone that only I can call. Next time you get grown call me and let me know where you’re going. I was worried. LOL

Kimmie not trying to push any panic buttons but have you ever thought you may be a rebound? I ask because about 3 weeks after me and my ex separated a female from work hooked me up with one of ehr gf’s and we dated for 3 years. She was nice and took excellent care of me but mentally she was just transitional. She even told me that when I got over it I’d be gone. I was. Not trying to say it will happen to you but just wondering if you ever think of it. Especially with him losing his wife the way he did. That would be hard to recover from.

By AmazonRed

October 21, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

BTW, I bought you a special phone that only I can call. Next time you get grown call me and let me know where you’re going. I was worried. LOL

^ This means you love me Truth. LOL

Good looking out man, seriously.

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

Mo pass the chips. It’s time for snack 3.

Petty Cash: We just put the deposit down for the Christmas Party at the High Museuem of Art.executives going on as if there isn’t a recession Then they okayed my Departmental Luncheon. Now see just last night i had to choose between buying $13/ salmon steaks or, $8 tilapia for dinner. Sounds like crunchtime to me.

By Wise Diva

October 21, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

Dr. Gupta was on CNN talking about a study involving 100 men, that showed that high levels of testosterone was associated with men who took greater risks

By Tazzee

October 21, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

awww Foots…Congrats/Condolences not sure what to say. Okay you like to study, then you have to study Football and Football players.Lawd knows studying a man in football pants, brings me much joy. especially that black that Jacksonville wears..something about a squeezeable male booty in football pants…sorry what was I talking about?*

LOL @ Kym I would have lost my train of thought in that one too.

Foots This is my 4th year playing fantasy football and I’m still learning new strategy. Although looking at my record you would think it’s my first year. Congrats on your win.

By Wise Diva

October 21, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this

sorry, I meant to type men with high testosterone levels make riskier financial decisions

Researchers say they didn’t outright prove that it was Wall Street men’s hormones that got us into this mess, but that the evidence is strongly suggestive. “Although our findings do not address causality, we believe that testosterone may influence how individuals make risky financial decisions,” said researcher Coren Apicella…. A recent study also showed that stock market traders made more money on days when their testosterone levels were highest

Source: Discover Magazine

By M.

October 21, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this

@The Truth

Truth can I ask you a question?

By MELO

October 21, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

was associated with men who took greater risks i can understand why gay males wld have lower levels of it.If getting with a wman nowadays is being equated to getting in the wild and risking being eaten by wild animals,we are living in scary times then….

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

October 21, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

Truth I can handle the groceries, you just dont 4get your step to reach the high cabinets! ;0)

Cemeeli today its chips-n-salsa and some fresh guacamole if you like. have at it!

By The Truth

October 21, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this

M go ahead.

Ared I do.

wise I can believe that.

By kimmie

October 21, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this

Truth - I appreciate your straightforwardness. Yes, the thought did occur, for a second. He is such an exceptional person - I would take my chances with him. He’s an incredibly thoughtful person and pretty much does nothing without thinking it thru thoroughly. I guess that comes not only from his personality, but also being a psych major. It would be incredibly wreckless of him to allow his kids to get so close to someone whom he even thought might be a rebound. And those kids and I are incredibly close. His family and his late wife’s family have embraced me and he expresses how good that makes him feel. I just don’t see it. I am prayerful though, don’t take anything for granted.

By Beautiful

October 21, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

hey cee! you looking good today chica.

i will again try to like football this year. i promise to not mope around and ask stupid questions. lol. i’ll do what i do best … keep the food comin’!

will the guy do the same for me when real and chance are on? i doubt it. oh well.

By i'm swiss

October 21, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

“A recent study also showed that stock market traders made more money on days when their testosterone levels were highest”

Hmmm… chicken or egg? Could it be that their testosterone levels were higher as a result of some positive physiological response to making more $$ on those days?

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

AR

PG/Truth, so if a guy does the above more than actually saying “I love you” does a girl have anything to worry about? Or does he need to say it just as much?

For most guys, words don’t really mean as much as you all think. I know guys that can look a female dead in the eyes and say “I love you” with a straight face, and NOT MEAN IT WHATSOEVER!!

However, if he is putting in his time and effort into you, really trying to make your life easier. That means he cares about you, not just “da cookie”. Especially, if he does it for a prolonged period of time. We really want to show you what we can do FOR YOU as opposed to the guys that want to show what they can do TO YOU (ie. sex) They are two totally different things.

Truth had it correctly. It is about action with most of us.

By MELO

October 21, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

cant believe tomrw is almost friday!!

By M.

October 21, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this

@The Truth

Reading your comments, you definately have a good understanding of the dating scene. What do you do if you feel like you are dating without results. Its easy to get frustrated, but how do you avoid this? How do you go from the dinners, same conversations, and same games to the next level? Do we have to screen better? The question is open for anybody also.

By MELO

October 21, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

I am prayerful though, don’t take anything for granted are u urself when around him or you act the way u do outa of the need to snatch him,if u will? Hw long has it been since her passing??

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

Kym

*PoppaG Awww Gore v Bush..you know that case spent a few microseconds at the District Court here. Wonder if we are going to have a repeat this year? *

Yes, it was in the 11th Circuit court of Appeals, which is in downtown Atlanta. Florida is part of the 11th Circuit, which I learned back when Elian Gonzalez case was going on….we know he was sent back to Cuba. * I was stuck down there for something else, and saw the protesters*

However, Obama has already gotten his legal team ready and they are already doing research for injuctions or any other pleading necessary.

Remember, Both Obama and Biden are con law professors. Biden was teaching a class this summer when he was asked to be on the ticket. He missed his Friday evening class before the Saturday announcement.

As far as Hines goes he is deep in the season. He has responded yet. Maybe when they have a bye, I will hear from him.

As a former player, I think that the NFL has a fine line to walk. I agree that they need to let the players play, but on the other hand, I feel the toll that the sport has taken on my body everyday….every morning. My wife hears the ankle pops. I have screws in my left ankle that will be there forever. I know guys that have had many concussions. I met Earl Campbell and saw the struggle for him to move step…by..each..painstaking…step. So, I understand the league trying to protect people to a degree.

My issue is more about the inequity of protection. A late hit on a QB is likely to draw a flag but a late hit on a linebacker may not.

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

PoppaG if he is putting in his time and effort into you, really trying to make your life easier. That means he cares about you I confess, it took a few squabbles and “didn’t get it” when i finally figured this one out.

Mo Pass th chips and salsa mami. PG don’t came in here with the real.

Kimmie…i am so serious when i say this. I want the invite/evite/’save the date’ for your wedding, K?

By Kym

October 21, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this

Tazzee Have you seen the pants on Maurice Jones-Drew? Steven Jackson looks nice in his pants too..Running for those TDs.

Rams(2-4) aint worth a quarter but they beat Dallas and that is always a plus..

By Wise Diva

October 21, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

i’m swiss, I think that’s a great question, actually.

By Dan

October 21, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

@M

I’mma let Truth give you his answer, but here’s mine.

As with any endeavor you have to be willing to get into fully otherwise it won’t work.

That whole screening is shullbit, becuase one never knows until it’s too late about the guy/gal you with.

In the same token though “trust but verify” be open to people and watch for contrary signals to their words.

As far as dating to find the “right” one, won’t know that until you know that.

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 4:07 PM | Link to this

Cee

PoppaG i meant: I bet you blushed.

Naw…I don’t get embarrassed. I can’t remember being embarrassed about anything.

By Foots

October 21, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

Kym/Tazzee Thanks for the kind words in the midst of my sorry record.

M Are you specific (with yourself) about the characteristics you are looking for in a woman? If you’re trying to find something, you should have a pretty good idea of what you’re looking for…

By LorDemi

October 21, 2008 4:11 PM | Link to this

What do you do if you feel like you are dating without results. Its easy to get frustrated, but how do you avoid this? How do you go from the dinners, same conversations, and same games to the next level? Do we have to screen better? The question is open for anybody also.

Dayum, been gone for dang near a month and dating is still this serious?

PG I don’t know dude…I really don’t think women still judge men by their actions or character…You win more women hearts by being a snake.

Demi is now reading Genesis CH. 3

By M.

October 21, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this

@Dan

Thanks Dan, well said.

By kimmie

October 21, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

Cee - You got it, sis!

Melo - See, that’s the beauty of this whole relationship - I am COMPLETELY myself whether I’m around him or not! That’s one of the things that come with turning 40, though it happened with me awhile back - I am myself, I do me all the time, I like me and you and everyone else can take me or leave me! Melo, I’ve been thru too much to play games. Life’s just too short to be miserable. “Good people” that are “relationship-worthy” are hard to find. We both feel incredibly blessed to have found a good person. One question for you - why don’t you go by “The Melo” anymore?:)LOL - just curious!

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

Foots

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but Cincy’s 2008 record is 0-7. they are defeated (as opposed to undefeated).

Carson Palmer (starting QB) is hurt and not playing. That accounts mostly for the record

By abc

October 21, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

I wasn’t making reference specific to widows or widowers, just emotion in general. I’m well familiar with dealing with widows. It plainly sucks, too. No picnic.

By MELO

October 21, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

How do you go from the dinners, same conversations, and same games to the next level?

u got to recycle that modus operandi over and over again until u hit ur jackpot,hpefully.Truth aint looking for the next level so he may tell u that upfront.Other guys may have a next level but u got play ur part in unlocking the gem in them.That means u taking risk and getting hurt at times. Risk,reward and hurt,u knw those triplets,right??

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

PoppaG

You didn’t smile or nuthin’? I don’t mean “embarrassed” in the sense of illconcious about the yourself. I mean like a blush/smile like..”Yea, I did that didn’t I?”

…nebermind…i forgot you couldn’t catch that chicken this morning.

By The Truth

October 21, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

M only thing I could say is set your standard and enforce it vigorously. No do overs, no second chances. For example, lets assume you have a job that allows you to cover your lifestyle and then some. Then you meet a guy thats financially challenged. Alot of women will put in time thinking they can up his game and get him producing more. Not going to happen, or very rarely at most. You would do better to act like a guy in that case and either do the “phase out” or the “drop down” and categorize him as a knockoff.

Personally I cheat. I know exactly what my product is and who it appeals to. I don’t give a dam about chicks outside of my target market. I’m very comfortable knowing that a certain type of woman will love me to death and others would like to stick a shank in my neck. I try to stay away from the latter. LOL Also, don’t give one ounce of mental energy to anyone that you wouldn’t want to have if you could. Everyone in that category gets the mental boot.

I once had a gorgeous friend that was a serious head turner. DD’s, coke bottle figure, smart, and fun as hell to hang with. She would let any old dude into her world. She had no sense of her product and what she deserved. She wound up with the dude that won the “Sorriest cat in atlanta” contest. Really. I would tell her its always easier to say goodbye sooner than later. She never understood that everyday she let these guys around her she devalued herself. Soon she was just another broad with kids. Last time I talked with her she said her husband asked her to sell booty to make money for the family. Really.

With that said I don’t really know much about dating at all. I know that I’m comfortable by myself and if you can’t enhance my program I can always go back to that. My standard of living is very comfortable for me and its easy to see who will enhance it and who will mugg it up.

Kim I’m glad you took that the right way. It wasn’t meant to hurt you in any way. Based on your posts I’ll go with your conclusion and wish you good luck. You seem to be a great woman. To bad I messed up my chance. LOL

Mo I forgot all about my “Special” challenges. I’ll be glad when midnight gets here so I can reach the high cabinets again. LOL

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

Demi

PG I don’t know dude…I really don’t think women still judge men by their actions or character…You win more women hearts by being a snake.

I agree that you get quantity by being a snake….been there and done that. But quality tends to come from a different direction.

By MELO

October 21, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

kimmie congrats on the 40 club.Oh yeah,now u can enjoy lyfe,no bull,no faking.40 women knw how to do it. The Melo,thats a swagg thing,whem im in the mood.

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this

Dayum, been gone for dang near a month and dating is still this serious?

NO! Demi only if you make it complicated.

What’s up you?

By Blow Me

October 21, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this

Truth Beautiful post! lmao! Knowing you product is the lesson of the day. Great lesson!

But he really asked her to sell booty!! wow! That is ridiculous!!

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

Risk,reward and hurt,u knw those triplets,right??

Melo Taking the risk is the reward. You know, going out on that limb…If i give him all access to those fruit on that limb, why would it hurt?

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 4:32 PM | Link to this

Cee

No, I didn’t smile, but they know that I wasn’t upset either. I just told them…”get the _ out of here(my office)”. I am just all about business once I get into the office. I don’t do a lot of casual talking unless it is lunch.

Anyway, I am more of a preppie dresser anyway. They should be used to it.

By kimmie

October 21, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

Melo - Forgot to answer your question - it’s been about 2 1/2 years. By the way, love your can’t believe tomorrow’s almost Friday!

Truth - I’ll always be your Wittle Kimmie!LOL!

By MELO

October 21, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this

hey kimmie,one more qstion if u still there.

By Chink

October 21, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this

Truth

I got to give props when due…that was a good post!

By Chink

October 21, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

Have a good evening!

Life is Good

By kimmie

October 21, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

Melo- You rang?

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this

gotcha PoppaG. Right, sounds to me maybe that was an attempt to try and figure you out. To see if you’d bite it and talk.

Casual talkers are sometimes good. You find out valuable information before the memo hits your desk. Or for golf players, you just may get in on the “business trip” on the company’s $$$.

By Kym

October 21, 2008 4:43 PM | Link to this

PG Oh I know the lawyers are coming on both sides. But there is a twist to our really cute system of government that is the electoral college. While the people vote it is the electoral college that technically picks the president. One of the twist is that just because a state’s elector is pledge to vote a certain way doesnt mean they have to vote that way.

I found this on a website…

The third objection to the electoral college is the so-called faithless elector problem. As mentioned above, electors are actual human beings, with all the properties that go along with that. In particular, when they meet in December in their respective state capitals, they sometimes do not vote for the candidate they are officially pledged to. In 1948, for example, Truman elector Preston Parks of Tennessee, voted for Strom Thurmond who was running on the pro-segregation Dixiecrat ticket. In 1960, Nixon elector Henry D. Irwin of Oklahoma voted for Virginia Senator Harry F. Byrd, then an ardent segregationist. In 2000, one of Gore’s D.C.’s electors, Barbara Lett-Simmons, cast a blank ballot in protest of the District’s lack of congressional representation. None of these faithless electors changed the outcome of their respective elections, but in a close election in the future, it might be possible for a candidate to bribe enough electors to swing the election. Just something to think about.

By Wise Diva

October 21, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

wow the Truth, on your lucid days, when you aren’t extolling the virtues of beating women down, you have some of the best comments! LOL, J/K seriously, really enjoyed that analogy

By LorDemi

October 21, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

Poppa Grande I know. Just hating the fact I am turning into a “Stand Up” dude…I miss the wickedness of my old ways.

Demi is now dry humping his Bish Palin blow up doll…NOTE: I am a “Practicing Republican”

I gotta maintain my skills!!

Cemeeli Oh really…I am now slapping the ISH outta complication.

How are things with you bey?

By MELO

October 21, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

2 1/2 yrs,i thnk i got the answer i wanted.

By MELO

October 21, 2008 4:47 PM | Link to this

take the risk alright Cee, limb and all,but the contract may never be signed.That hurts.

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

Cee

I have been told that I have mastered the poker face. Most people just try me to see if they can get me to break, much like you stated. So, it has become a child like game. I hate to lose, so I will not break.

By Kym

October 21, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

oh yeah and while some states have laws that bound their electors to vote for who the state is pledge there are a few (24 to be exact) who don’t bind their elector to who they are pledge to vote for. Yeah Georgia is one of those states

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

Demi Hey. I am well. And so glad to see you are “standing up”.That’s what’s up.…not the Palin blow-up dolly? Lol

Melo alright I see what you mean. I realized that. But he say…so contract is ____

By MELO

October 21, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

Life is Good Chink is such a lier.No way lyfe can be good if u aint getting some.Hw can she run away from blog be4 its closing,what she running home for if there aint a man over there?? Good night folks….

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

Kym

My gripe has nothing to do with the electoral college.

In the opinion, The US Supreme court basically acknoledged that they were violating the 14th amendment’s Equal protection clause by not counting all of Florida’s votes. They blatantly violated the law of the US for political gain. They are supposed to protect our rights….not deny them.

The electoral college isn’t an issue to me. I feel that if Gore won Tennessee, his home state, he would have won the election. However, he did not. His own state didn’t support him and that said a lot to me.

By LorDemi

October 21, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

M only thing I could say is set your standard and enforce it vigorously. No do overs, no second chances.

Comment of the Day.

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this

PoppaG that’s cool. IF they have a sense of “everyone is not like them” they’d know you’re cool peeps.

~Ciao bella everyone.

By Wise Diva

October 21, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

Thanks for the great discussion today, I think there were many wonderful points made today! Great job!

Good night, all!

By Cemeeli

October 21, 2008 5:04 PM | Link to this

Melo got the memo that you was on it this morning. Cee retreats her 10:56 post. My boy, i owe you dapps.

bye

By Wise Diva

October 21, 2008 5:06 PM | Link to this

No way lyfe can be good if u aint getting some seriously? - you don’t know ANYTHING about being a single woman, CLEARLY, LOL!!

By Kym

October 21, 2008 5:10 PM | Link to this

PoppaG Oh I agree with you on Gore V Bush It was all politically..*Our consitution can be “flexible” in interpretation when they want to be. But here is the kicker…say we have another Gore/Bushy situation…this election. Well we know how the SCOTUS works it is all about precedent. If we get another hanging chad situation.. the Supremes could always point to Gore/Bush and say here is what we did the last time. Just a thought.

I was posting the electoral stuff because that part of our constitution is one of my favorite quirky parts.

By The Truth

October 21, 2008 5:22 PM | Link to this

wise so you understand, I in no way think hitting a woman is right. Sometimes its your only option. I’ve dated to many women that we never went that route to think I was some Ike. However, if provoked I’ll take whats behind door number 4. At that time we’re at at place where anything I’d do to a man I’d to you. You pick up a knife and I will too. We can go as far as you need to understand you won’t be winning this bout. However, way more times than not I could meet you and know you for years and you’d never see that side. It’s not necessary. I’m really a very laid back dude. But I do have limits. LOL

Have a good evening ev1.

Melo take a cleanser. LOL

By Poppa Grande

October 21, 2008 5:25 PM | Link to this

Kym

Florida started early voting already. They are having some major issues in Dade County (Miami) and Duvall County (Jacksonville) with the machines (no hanging chads this time). So, problems have already begun there.