Misadventures in Atlanta

By Sugar

October 8, 2008 9:00 AM | Link to this

As the nicest person in the world, I would have to say yes, we finish last. I am trying to find a class to teach me how to become a beyotch.

I see some of my mean female friends fight the guys off. It just kills me, I guess men like being treated like shyt. I’m too nice, and need to toughen up.

Why don’t men like a decent hard working, woman? I guess they feel threatened. Why are they not interested in nice women???? Do you really wanted to be treated like crap by your SO?

By NY2GA, Inc.

October 8, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

It’s interesting how when I am nice to guys, they take my kindness for weakness. Then I have to show the feisty side when I am challenged. When this happens, why does this often turn the guy on more?

Well hotdaayuum Wise! You hit the nail on the head with that comment. Nice to see that someone else has had a similar experience out there.

Do nice women finish last? No, I don’t think so. I just believe that slow and steady wins the race. LOL.

By Blow ME...HI HATERS!!

October 8, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

Good Morning

Great Topic Diva…You have been coming with some good ones this week.

On Topic- My opinion…good ones do finish last. Men are attracted to challenges…If you are easy and nice…they tend to get bored. Just notice how DRAMA Queens, and Beechs ALWAYS have a man. Men like DRAMA and a man told me this…Of course to a certain extent. You have to give him a dose of both…Nice…and the flip side…drama. You have to keep them guessing on what’s next…if you are predictable…they will get bored.

Men seem to love beechy women…I can not understand why. They say one thing…but is doing another.

It’s official men like FREAKS & BEECHS…..LMAO!!

Yup it’s true ladies…You are being too damn nice. That’s why you will finish last because you are filled with substances.

By MLL

October 8, 2008 9:16 AM | Link to this

Good rainy Hump Day! In the past when was nice I got taken advantaged of, and as soon as I turn into a whench I get much respect. My POV on this is guys don’t like a push over, I remember my first husband told me how he dumped his girlfriend because she was too nice, she said yes to everything he wanted, she wasn’t a challenge unlike me. I was young and it didn’t registered with me but as I got older and began to date again after that marriage was dissolved, I saw first hand of what he was referring to. There’s a time to be nice and a time to put the gloves on and stand your ground. But there could be a backlash so you’ve got to know how to play your cards in your favor. My approach now is to get a feel of how a guy handles toughness, if he’s a push over then I’ll play it nice but I won’t stay around, if he’s somewhere in the middle nice yet firm then I’ve met my match. Which I already have.

By DreamsMaterialize

October 8, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this

Hey Everyone I like feisty women, but I hate a disrespectful one. There’s a difference. I like a woman who is confident, passionate, and will stand up for the things that mean something to her. I don’t like a woman who elevates herself above others and feels entitled to be treated like a queen but doesn’t feel the need to treat other people the same way. Sugar keep being nice. Never adjust your standards because others are too ignorant to appreciate what you’re offering. If you do, then eventually you’ll be somone you’re not, and that will be obvious to everyone. Do you sweetie.

By Peterock

October 8, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

Nice girls don’t necessarily finish last. I’m sure it depends on your environment and the people you are around, but in many circumstances nice girls get scooped up first by guys that are ready for marriage. Ever been to a christian college? All those “nice” girls are usually engaged by their sophomore year.

I married the nicest girl I’d ever met…so I know they don’t finish last. I think they are more wife material honestly.

By MLL

October 8, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

It’s official men like FREAKS & BEECHS lol

By A Guy Seeking a NICE GIRL

October 8, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

I desire a NICE GIRL, a sincerely NICE one, to have in my life and in my heart more than anything in this world.

Women have always mistaken my kindness for weakness as well, so I know how terrible that feels. However, that is how my grandmother tried to raise me to be toward others, I don’t know how or don’t want to be any other way to a lady.

If any of you ladies are a kind, sincere, intelligent, polite, old-fashioned girl who tries to treat EVERYONE with the same degree of kindness and who truly seeks a man of the same fabric who feels like he was born 2-3 generations too late for today’s dating pool, please know that you are more precious to a man like me than all the money in the world.

I will gladly live my life alone and die a bachelor before I will settle for anything less than a NICE GIRL.

By Dan

October 8, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

Slow and steady…Mmmmm

The flip side…Oh, yeah

Put[ting] the gloves on and standing your ground…Can you really?

I like it ladies…keep it up…tell me more!

By MELO

October 8, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this

Why don’t men like a decent hard working, woman A byttch/a*/mean girl can be a hard worker too.Nice dont mean hardworking…..

how he dumped his girlfriend because she was too nice Nice dont mean stupid and pushover either.Nice means respectable,cordial and mannered. * I remember my first husband* and how many husbands have u had?????

I think my wife is and was nice when we met.But she is a hard worker,talkative and feisty and certainly not a pushover.She got good brains atop her her head. Nice ladies will attract guys who are serious about dating and want a woman with substance.Bythsces/mean girls and hoodrats will attract the thrill seekers who are still in that game for fun. If you and nice BUT firm,you get a whole lot of respect from guys.Uall getting it twisted this early????………..

By MLL

October 8, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

Peerock you bring up a good point about men marrying nice girls instead of the not so nice ones. I think if I was a little nicer after I got married my marriage would have lasted since 2 heads continually bumping and no one backing down gets old really fast.

By MLL

October 8, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this

Sugar keep being nice, it’s their lost.

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

October 8, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

Morning All! Happy Hump Day!

DreamsMaterialize long time no see, pls hit me up when you get a chance, lost your info man!

On topic: I agree with Wise and NY2GA, Inc with the whole kindness for weakness thing. I have found that some guys respond better when you act dramatic! :0)

By Ryno

October 8, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this

I would rather meet someone nice at the grocery store or Church than at the club. I also would rather choose someone fun rather than sexy.

Someone I can take with me to the Falcons games or who’ll enjoy a beach vacation as much as a luxury cruise.

Someguys might be attracted to the uber-beeyotchm, but they are marrying the sweet heart.

By Sugar

October 8, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

MLL I’m starting to think it’s my loss too.

By Ryno

October 8, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

I would rather meet someone nice at the grocery store or Church than at the club. I also would rather choose someone fun rather than sexy.

Someone I can take with me to the Falcons games or who’ll enjoy a beach vacation as much as a luxury cruise.

Someguys might be attracted to the uber-beeyotchm, but they are marrying the sweet heart.

By MLL

October 8, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this

Guys What is considered a nice girl to you?

By Classics

October 8, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this

Whose beeper keeps beep…beep…beeping!?!?!

Hey Folks!

Speaking of ‘nice girls’ I met some of the nicest women on this forum and since our encounter they have been nothing but stand up, supportive, pushing me to what’s been right in my face straight-up sistas! just wanted to give you all some ‘blog dap’ and a {{{hug}}}

Only God knew how all this would turn out to be for good with this trying time in my life right now…

Cee’s blowing a kiss jus’ cause.

For Real Hey bro! One of the regulars passed a note to me that A. Dolphin was waving at Nemo girl. What up shawty?

By S.A.

October 8, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this

Nice girls definetly finish last;especially here in the ATL! Like the other comments said, women who are mean, nasty, have attitudes, and are straight “B’s” always seem to have some man “pathetically” following behind them(and there are many of those women here in Atlanta).I consider myself a great catch;and yes;a really nice person,that’s attractive, well-educated, and have dignity and respect for myself and others, and don’t sleep around,but I’ve been single forever and can never meet a “nice” guy. I guess men here just want some mean,hard,thug acting woman to be around, but when you decide you want a real woman and are ready to settle down; “keep it moving” don’t even try to talk to me then bro.

By RELL - 10/15/72

October 8, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

I guess men like being treated like shyt. I’m too nice, and need to toughen up.

REALLY WHO SAID THAT!!!!!!!!!!

By The Blogger formerly known as Kym

October 8, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

I think nice women and men do finish last. Like someone said earlier the kindness is taken for weakness and I agree with Mo…men no matter what they say.feed off the drama queens.

Oh yeah I know I am late but to answer yesterday’s topic.

I agree with Tazee..I am not one to approach guys I will smile and show interest but I am not one to walk over and ask a guy out. Now I will talk a blue streak with anyone male or female but asking a guy out…nawwww not my thing.

By Cemeeli

October 8, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

Tazzee is your email still the same?

By Chink

October 8, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

Morning!

I am nice and I dont finish last. Sometimes a guy will interpret a comment as being mean when I am just being honest. One thing about me there is no catch what you see is what you get. But if you try to undermine my intelligence of course I am going to let you know that I know what you are doing.

I remember I dated this guy and his sister would always say you are too nice to him you need to be more mean and you will have him good. Bottom line he was a drama king. And I found myself losing ME in order to deal with him. It was a constant struggle.

So no more drama for me ..I will continue to be a nice girl sometimes that keeps the bad ones away…sometimes not. But I am still standing.

By Dan

October 8, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this

Nice women don’t finish last…

As was stated yesterday by Leon, it you have all these preconditions (for whatever reasons) about when, how, who, what he has, etc. before even getting to know the dude in the men you want to meet, then you take yourself outta the game before tipoff.

That’s not to say that you shouldn’t protect yourself. It’s just that we all have to realize that who you end up with might not be what we dream about, but what we need.

There are single, educated, sweethears all over the city that are single. And while I wish, I could help you all ladies, we might wanna start asking ourselves what’s wrong (not with us) but with where/how I’m looking.

Introspection is the first step to happiness

By Dan

October 8, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

It ain’t about sleeping around.

It’s about being open to experiencing things different from the norm.

By Dan

October 8, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

It ain’t about sleeping around.

It’s about being open to experiencing things different from the norm.

By abc

October 8, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

Women that bring unnecessary drama and b*** get the door. Men might see how much they can get off of them first, but the door is what they’ll get, more often sooner than later.

‘Nice’ wins. Nobody will marry a beeyotch — or shall I say, few will stay married to a beeyotch. I’d recommend caution with the testing of boundaries, too, especially if that includes introduction of so-called ‘feistiness’, lest you inadvertently run some good ones off.

But hey, your mileage may vary. Chicks, after all.

By Brian

October 8, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

Lol, Nice girls finish first, Always have always will.. Every nice girl I know is married, just got married, or on her way to getting married. Im sitting back like dang, I didn’t move fast enough..lol . And In what world do men like drama.. I mean I can only speak for me and my crew, but none of them like it, look for it or need it…

By MELO

October 8, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

I consider myself a great catch;and yes;a really nice person,that’s attractive, well-educated, and have dignity and respect for myself and others, and don’t sleep around,but I’ve been single forever I think we may need to tune up ur dating style a lil S.A.There is nothing wrong wit u,going by how u describe urself..hw old are u.We will help u get a good man!!

By Leggs

October 8, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

Let me say this before I read all these comments. Sometimes, nice girls finish last. I use to wonder why most of the men I knew opted for the bi*tch that came w/drama. I use to sit back SMDH at 2 guys who dated me, but chose to marry other women. Their response to not asking me for my hand in marriage is that they said those drama queens showed more interest in them by fussing and fighting over their dumb a*******es. Okey doke!

By AmazonRed

October 8, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

Morning everyone. Dreams, it’s nice to see you check in!

I guess I’m a bit of a mixture. I treat people the way I’d want to be treated but if you cross me, I will make my feelings known. I’ve been a pushover at times in attmepts to be “submissive” to my detriment. All in all, I like who I am. I like to socialize and meet people and as long as you got some sense, we’re gonna have an enjoyable time together.

I am pretty vocal about what I won’t stand for. I find that guys do appreciate that. For instance, if a guy asks me to call him (first) my next response is “I don’t make the first call, if you want to get to know me follow thru.” Of course some don’t go for that, but others will are appreciative knowing that they will be waiting by the phone if they are waiting for me to give em a ring.

By Leggs

October 8, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

Guy Seeking a NICE GIRL, I need to talk to you (LOL).

By abc

October 8, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

I’d venture to say that if you’re a female and you think nice girls finish last, you’re associating with the wrong men. The nice guys are the ones who would appreciate the nice girls the most.

Which leads us back to ‘you attract who and what you are’.

By Brian

October 8, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

Why do women think,, “saying any and everything that crosses their mind out loud is an attractive feature? Of course Im not speaking of every woman in the world… But Im just saying.. Did anyone watch “Somebodies” on BET.. Thats a funny show. Anyway, ya’ll have a good morning.

By SexyCool

October 8, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

as long as nice doesn’t equal doormat…nice girls should do fine…

however…when i think of all the adjectives that i use to describe myself…nice is not one of them…

and as i think more about it…nice, when used to describe a quality in a person, usually translates to weak…

By Binford2K8

October 8, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

You can be nice and not someone who takes sh!t or gets dumped on. It’s all in how you handle yourself.

Ryno I agree that a club is not a place to meet someone for a serious relation ship in general. And that dating someone who is fun is a must - though they have to have some level of sex appeal.

Classics The women here are pretty cool (even AR ;p ). But the banter only goes so far if there is no attraction. There are so many good people out there, but sadly, if no one finds them attractive - it doesn’t really matter much …does it?

By Leggs

October 8, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

Nice doesn’t equate to “weak”. I’ve been told over and over again that I am a nice person. To me being nice means having empathy, respecting and understanding others. Treating ALL people humanly, from the bum on the street to my worst enemy. Nice is having a caring soul. Nice is treating folk the same way you want to be treated. Being nice simply shows good character!

By C tha 1

October 8, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

Dang! I can’t believe I actually agree witth something abc said. Ladies, his 10:16 post is on point…if you consider yourself a nice girl and find yourself finishing last it maybe because you’re associating with the wrong type of dude.

By SexyCool

October 8, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

oh, come now, everyone…don’t jump on the i’m a nice girl bandwagon just cause it’s the word of the day…

By Leon Phelps

October 8, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

I don’t think men try to avoid nice women, usually its some other trait that causes us to avoid a woman.
As has been said before most guys (with modrate to high self esteem) don’t want a woman who is a pushove or who always agrees with whatever we say/want. In a relationship there has to be some disagreement to balance things out, just like in the govt. the worst times are usually when the House, Senate, and President are of the same political party. In a relationship you need one some things that are opposite just to balance things out. But at the same time you can’t be a crazy Beech either. At least not for me… I don’t do drama at all. I don’t care how fine you are or how good you can cook ( now if you are fine and can cook I might have to think about it) But I do not do the women who live their life concerned with what other people are saying or doing. Nor do I deal with the women who don’t let you breathe, always need to know something, or always want something.

I like nice women but its often something completely aside from their niceness that turns me off…

By For Real

October 8, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam. Hey Cee just hollin at you. You want to share a phish sandwich with me today for lunch?

On topic: Webster defines nice as:

pleasing , agreeable, virtuous , respectable, polite , and kind

So, if you are attracted to people or approach people that find those traits to be of a weak nature. Then you should look at yourself and ask why do I attract or why do I approach, or why do I get involved with such people?

For thoes females that have been taken advantage of, listen close IT IS NOT BECAUSE YOU ARE NICE. YOU WERE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF BECAUSE THAT MAN WAS SMARTER THAN YOU!!!

For those females that say men aren’t attracted to nice girl, listen close NICE IS NOT THE REASON DUDE WAS NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU. THE BEYOTCH LOOKS BETTER THAN YOU!! AND THAT GOES FOR THOSE NICE GUYS TOO!!! EXCEPT FOR THE BEYOTCH PART… WELL WE ARE IN ATLANTA SO…

Nice vs Beyotch = NO FIGGIN CONTEST!!! NICE WINS!!!!!!

By kimmie

October 8, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Good rainy morning blog!

I’ve had guys that definitely took my kindness for weakness. I have an unassuming, laid-back manner and this is mistaken for greeness, pushoverness! In the corporate world I am mistaken also, until they try to get over on me and see I don’t play. Then it’s too late. I now have seen YOUR true colors. You see, I know it might be human nature to take advantage of perceived weakness, but I find nothing more foul. When I was a new manager at a company I used to work for, one of my associates used to just observe me and one day she took it upon herself to warn me that the powers-that-be at said company were cut-throat and I needed to watch my back. I thanked her, but told her that is the way corporate America is and I did not get to where I was by being a marshmallow. Cool & easy, don’t have to walk around with a club! She thought she had more “street sense” than I had, but she was sadly mistaken.

Yes, some men do like drama in spite of what they say. I believe though that the majority of them just don’t like a pushover, unless they are control freaks that want a Stepford type. The same holds true for most women - we don’t want a wimp for a man! Yes, I’ve been dumped because I did not offer enough drama (at least that’s the reason I was given, in so many words). Usually those dudes I could not have dealt with much longer anyway. Now men that like drama come off so punkish to me, an absolute turn-off. I think most people just desire some spunk, some life, a little spice in a person, and you can have that without being MEAN.

Yes, nice girls do finish last- last being the ALTER! :) So nice ladies & men - do you, be cool - you WILL WIN in the END!

By Blue_Kolla

October 8, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Sugar MLL I’m starting to think it’s my loss too.

Yeap… you’re losing out on all the wrong type of attention, that you really don’t want anyway. Melo already laid it out for you, dudes are throwing all’at effort and energy at bytchy broads just to see if they can get a hit, which in turn gives that ego a good shot in the arm.

To a dude looking for a woman with serious relationship potential, those bytchy, often-times ho-type broads are invisible.

By AmazonRed

October 8, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

I’ve been called “nice” before, by people who don’t know me. LOL

I don’t think I’ve ever been called “friendly” because I’m not. I don’t walk down the street saying “hi” to people for no reason. LOL. I guess I’m more cordial than friendly.

By Cemeeli

October 8, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

Lol Binford guy, Classics is Cemeeli…waving :)

My “banter” with cpl of the blog women has shown me you never know what venue God will us to allow you to meet people, nice people at that, and the strangest is that they will be in your corner for NO benefit of their own!

There are so many good people out there, but sadly, if no one finds them attractive - it doesn’t really matter much …does it?

Also if you are attractive and have bad attitude or spirit/heart most people don’t want to be around you.

There’s two sides to that!

For Real I left fish in Vannah bro. I’m getting some comfort food for lunch.

Blue Cee making thangs happen.

By I need a permanent name...

October 8, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

Good morning,

I’m here from time to time, once a month or so, and I had written a blog-length post before I remembered today is not about nice guys…so here’s what I think about nice girls.

First off, let’s be real about why guys stray from nice girls. Mostly because we feel we can’t do what we want do with/to them. We can’t fck them hard, can’t take them to the backyard BBQ/dice game or introduce them to our high school football teammates who happen to sell drgs now. Guys have it in the backs of their minds they can only do nice things with nice girls, and if it’s a choice…I’ll just leave her behind.

The honest people here will admit they are looking for someone of this in the middle of this nice-to-crazy who may swing one way or the other. That’s ok, because individually we may swing one way or the other. Even Hakeem told the “whatever you like” woman from Coming to America that he wanted someone with a little more edge.

I’m a nice guy, and I approve this message.

By Glennco

October 8, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

I was a NICE guy for 8 1/2 years to what I thought was an everlasting relationship with a woman I thought loved me the same , but then she decided to run back to her old high school sweetheart, who has been married and divorced 3 times. I guess this gave her a challenge that I didn’t. She never would tell me what she wanted from me. She took advantage of me. It broke my heart. I hope she is satisfied. Ps. she conjured all this up (phone calls etc) while under the influence of wine.

By The Truth

October 8, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

Nice girls don’t finish last, they’re at home with their husbands by the time the rest finish the race. LOL

I have five couples that I’ve been watching over the last few years. One was the woman that just passed, another couple in their 60’s and 3 couples in their late 20’s(1)and 30’s(2). All have been married at least 5 years, they’ve lived here that long. While this is by no means a scientific experiment it is painfully obvious to me what type of woman gets married and STAYS married over the long haul.

First, all the women are extremely nice. I don’t know if it’s because they’ve been married for as long as they have or they’ve been married as long as they have because they’re nice.

Anyway, all the women in my experiment are almost interchangeable. They appear to be the same woman in different bodies. There are differences but the overall makeup is quite similar. I’d say that most chicks are in 4th or 5th gear (and going nowhere) while these women are in 3rd gear and prepared to take a long cruise down marriage highway. I’ve never seen one of them flare up at their spouses and that doesn’t seem to be a part of their makeup, at least in public. I’m sure they all have their moments.

Also, these couples met early and made the decision to do the thing and haven’t looked back. I think time on the track diminishes value, just my thought.

The husbands are the same way, geared for the long haul. They don’t go out and you wouldn’t see them in a strip club. They’re happy at home with wifey and doing family things and have been for the long haul.

I also have some couples I’ve been watching that shouldn’t be. I mean cussing each other out in front of others and saying “if it weren’t for the kids” and whatnot. The hubby with herpes is one of those, and he is probably one of the best of that group.

Btw, these couples are AA so its happening.

My conclusion: The chick you meet at the bar or club should stay there. Just the fact she has the need to throw herself out there is a big clue to what you’re getting. The chick you catch at Barnes and Nobles wearing old sweats and a baseball cap is the one. and grab her fast because you won’t see her on the track again. LMAO (All the MLB members now lining up at Barnes and Nobles waiting for thee chick)

This is Dr Truth giving it to you like I see it.

Btw, my ex wife was a very nice woman and she remarried and has been for a few years now. My point is certain women can get 2 or 3 husbands before some can get one. It’s all in their makeup. (please overlook the fact I fugged my ex for 5 years while she was remarried. she just likes being nice to me) LOL

By SexyCool

October 8, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

for real…we all know that the dictionary’s definition of certain words can have little do with how they are applied in society…

for the record…i, too, looked up nice in the dictionary…and by THAT definition, everyone would like to think of themselves as a ‘nice person’…

when ya’ folk talk about hooking you up with a cool, sexy available female that they know…i’m sure you don’t want to be described as simply nice…that is such a vanilla kinda word…

By abc

October 8, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

Now, what makes it so difficult to believe that you’d agree with me?! I am, for the most part, always right ‘round here! :-)

By NCGirlfromATL

October 8, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

@ BK To a dude looking for a woman with serious relationship potential, those bytchy, often-times ho-type broads are invisible.

Interesting that you say that. Honestly, if that were really true, then I’d probably be out of business. Not that nice women don’t get divorced, but I think the consensus here is that to most men nice = boring. If I hear one more man say he doesn’t want the drama, don’t bring the drama…blah blah blah blah blah…and then the next chick you see him with has 3 baby daddies, 2 restraining orders, and a couple of charges she’s defending herself for beating up Kiki (baby daddy #2’s other baby mama), I’m gonna choke someone! Granted, that’s not the dude I want anyway. But, my point is, there are plenty of good men out there who are, at the very least, giving the impression that they prefer the freaks and the drama queens, b/c that’s who they gravitate toward. If you want good/nice women to be in your view, you’ve got to stop giving us the impression that we aren’t worthy of your attention. That is, if you are a good man yourself.

My apology: To all of the really good, quality single men out there who have tripped up and fallen for the drama queen in the tailpipe, and didn’t notice the quality woman over here…I will be good to you. You will enjoy yourself with me. Even though I have enormous respect for single mothers, I am not one. I don’t even have a bad-A dog for you to be bothered with. My parents are still married. I pay my bills, keep my house neat, take out my own trash, have a 401 (k), and bathe/brush my teeth at least 2 times a day. If I’m the “silent but freaky” type, that will be our little secret. I know how to keep my girlfriends in check. So, yes, I apologize for being nice, aka boring. My bad. And as for that drama queen in the tailpipe…don’t let it happen again! LOLOL!

By AmazonRed

October 8, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

The chick you catch at Barnes and Nobles wearing old sweats and a baseball cap is the one

Truth, that’s me the next day, with a slight hangover from the club. That’s why I’m incognito. LOL

By For Real

October 8, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

Truth The doctor is in indeed. Nice.. opps I mean good post.

Sexycool Not me the first thing I ask if I am being setup is she pretty, what her body look like, and is she nice. Nice might be vanilla to you but not to me. It says alot about what other people think of you. Oh and you on point with “everyone would like to think of themselves”

By Binford2K8

October 8, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli Part of the Binford manifesto is this: If a female is attractive, it doesn’t matter if she has the most putrid personality ever (shoot, she could even be a dirty bird if you get my drift), she will have a guy who wants her. Period.

This doesn’t speak to if it’ll last more than a week, or be of any substantial quality (the dudes may know she is a b!tch and just want to hit it). Merely to the fact that there will be a line at her door and she can just keep running through them at her leisure.

That’s the way it is.

By Chink

October 8, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

SexyCool

I actually describe men I meet like that ” he is really a nice guy”. I don’t see how being nice is plain it is a good quality because not everyone is nice.

Maybe you should take peoples “I am nice” as face value unless you know something otherwise but then again that would be just your opinion also.

By MELO

October 8, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

got to stop giving us the impression that we aren’t worthy of your attention. That is, if you are a good man yourself. hey girl,hw u been NCGirlfromATL. I hear u on that statement but u see what happens most times is females and men move at different speeds. When u at 26,28,30 etc are looking to settle down,the guys around you at same age are still looking for the thrill seekers and getting the nothces on their belts.Still looking for swagg credibility.So it dont mean they dont value u,u are just placing urself in front of guys who are not at ur level of maturity yet.Go swim in a different pool to find ur mate.

By Tazzee

October 8, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks! Great topic Wise Diva

I want to respond to the topic and other comments but I had to stop when I read this:

“Someone I can take with me to the Falcons games or who’ll enjoy a beach vacation as much as a luxury cruise.”

He said Falcons and beach in the same sentence!!! Ryno umm, I’m nice most of the time ;-)

Cemeeli my email is the same.

OK, back to reading…

By kimmie

October 8, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

Truth - Liked your post, Dr!

NC - Liked your post, too. And you are in a position to really know what’s going on! Just like women who only go for “bad boys”, a lot of men create problems for themselves with the type of women they go for too, and actually MARRY! It boggles the mind! SMH!

By abc

October 8, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Yeah, Binford, but who really wants a chick like that after awhile? If you’d be #100 or #200, doesn’t she start to look a little, uhhh… sticky to you? I mean… ugh.

Besides that, most men (that are actually men and are taking a man’s approach to dating) have little interest in being ‘the first’; they want to be ‘the last’. Chicks like that, you’re just another guy in line, holding a number.

Chick says, “Next! Now serving #101!”

Hm.

By SexyCool

October 8, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

for real…why nice come last?

oh…and i do think of myself as a generally fitting the dictionary’s definition of nice…that’s just not how i describe myself…

By I need a permanent name...

October 8, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

Truth: All those married women are nice because they are happy. I think it’s hard to find the nice trait, single or married, without the happy trait present.

He/she’s a nice person…BUT We’ve all said it, and many have heard it. I’ve been here 7 years and have seen many examples of nice not being enough for a guy/girl. With SexyCool on that.

By Tazzee

October 8, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

I don’t think nice girls finish last at all. When describing myself, nice isn’t a word that usually comes to mind but I will say that I’m ‘pleasant’ most of the time. Life is too short for me not to be. But I have been known to let it loose every now and then, but that’s usually when I’m pushed to the limit.

In my dating experiences, I’ve found that if I don’t express myself forcefully guys don’t take me seriously. If my mate does something that bothers me, I’ll calmly tell them. I had one guy tell me (during a yelling match after repeated offenses) that he didn’t think I was serious the first time I said it. errr??? Ever since then I try to avoid those with signs of ‘drama-love’ - meaning they don’t think you love them if there isn’t any drama.

But naw, I don’t think nice girls finish last. Most of the guys that I attract are usually won over my by smile.

By Jo

October 8, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

Sadly, Binford & ForReal are right. The beeyotches get all the men because they are pretty & from what I’ve seen, the more beautiful a woman is physically, the nastier she is, because everyone spoils her so is it any wonder she develops an entitlement complex the size of Texas? Now, I consider myself a reasonably nice person but there are limits. I’m no doormat & if someone is not lowlife, criminal or nasty person) I do not associate with them

By Blue_Kolla

October 8, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

Cee Cee making thangs happen.

That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout. Go’ead wit’cho bad self!

NC Chick But, my point is, there are plenty of good men out there who are, at the very least, giving the impression that they prefer the freaks and the drama queens, b/c that’s who they gravitate toward.

And when is all of this gravitation taking place, on Friday and Saturday night ha? …When dude is on the hunt for that new piece of azz.

Science: Once you get through the b!tchy on a broad, it’s pretty much a straight shot to the poosey; whereas with a nice broad, either you’ll need to demonstrate at least a fondness for the chick or be the type to dog the chick out without remorse. Contrary to popular belief, dudes don’t take comfort in doggin’ non-deserved chicks. So yeah, he’ll gravitate towards the bytchy broad simply to avoid feelings of guilt later on down the line, not because that’s his preference.

Don’t believe me? Check the stats. Most bytchy broads complain about dudes being dogs - meaning that she’s been ran through by 20 dycks this year, while the nice girl complains of not being able to find a man since 06.

Last Note: Once a dude hits 35, and puts that mature stamp on his social resume, he pretty much ain’t puttin’ up with no BULLsh!t from no silly azz broad. She can get da fugg on down the line.

By The Blogger formerly known as Kym

October 8, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

NC I will slide you 5 on the backhand side for your comment.

I have been called bytch because I set boundaries, and express what those boundaries are and boring because my idea of fun involves a trip to the State fair(which is where I was Saturday) followed by a lazy Sunday watching football and rooting for Steelers(There is Steeler football and everyone else) and checking my ff stats.

Fun apparently is spending hours on the phone arguing and cussing each other out or playing the hang up game.

And I wont say the fellows make horrible choices because I have made some horrible choices too.(flashback)But nothing to where I had to catch a case or be a witness. So if boring is what I am so be it.

There is a Indian Pow-Wow in early November with my name on it.

By The Truth

October 8, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Btw, just because a chick is nice doesn’t mean she won’t light it up in the bedroom. Nice can be interchangeable with “wanting to please, badly”. The guy just has to get that out of her, which is the case with all women.

Whats funny is the guy that marries a nutrag and then she locks up on him because he doen’t treat her like she’s treated herself. The other guys got the wild stuff and you get the headaches. LOL

Ared I’m dissapointed in you and this is 2 days in a row. Yes I read that line yesterday about eyeing some cat in a bar. You have a man. Either terminate and move on or decide to stay. Remember the job you’d like to occupy. ( Dr Truth drops his head) Now the hangover comment.

No matter your product if you put it in front of the wrong crowd it will not be received well.

By MELO

October 8, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

but then she decided to run back to her old high school sweetheart, who has been married and divorced 3 times u may have missed the signs buddy.Nice dont mean stupid!If u dont have any experiences what so ever with females and u plunge headlong into marriage, u are a disaster waiting to happen.I dont know ur story but it kinda stinks on the surface.There is no way my woman can cheat me without me sniffing that smething aint right.Thats like being chewed,with ur eyes, wide open.Maybe its just me,but both females and men can commit without necesaritly losing body,mind and soul.Have ur antena on alert all the time buddy..Good luck on ur next relationship !Glennco!!!!!!

By Binford2K8

October 8, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

abc Did you ever meet a heavy person who was SO nice, but was always alone? The reason most likely is because they’re heavy. They are usually nice because that’s how they get attention and draw people in.

If a person has model quality looks, people just flock to them and forgive way more than they ever should because the attraction factor is so high. For example, I know a guy who is a singer and has good looks - I’ve witnessed a girl he was seeing find ANOTHER girl’s panties in the bed they shared. And somehow, he didn’t get a brick up side his head (she stayed for a few months after that). And that wasn’t the first (or only) only occurrence of that nature.

I’m not saying I want to be #100 or anything (matter fact, I don’t want that at all). I merely practice observational learning and have seen this throughout the years and consider, by and large, a fact.

I want a nice girl that I find attractive in the ways I define nice and attractive (which apparently is a niche market). That’s my choice.

But years of watching have shown true what drives the market, and a lot of times, looks trump all. Not whether someone is nice.

By Leggs

October 8, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

Jo, did you type that right???? You only want to associate w/lowlife, criminals and nasty folk???

By Daddy K

October 8, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

A woman should radiate feminine energy, niceness and kindness however the self proclaimed nice women are manipulative; they will do anything not to upset a man; anything to get commitment. This is not niceness – this is manipulation.

On the other hand, there is no way an attractive woman will come off as nice. An attractive woman get approached at least by 100 men a week, she knows she is rich in sexual currency. A b*** attitude is just a way to keep 96 of those men away. She is not rude and dramatic; she is just being selective and trying to manage her time well. When the same woman hit mid 30’s, her sexual currency devalues. When she hit mid 40’s, she then turns to niceness to cope with her sexual deflation and that’s when you hear her roar: “nice girls finish last”…..please

By Beach Lover

October 8, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

I’m a female, and I think that “I need a permanent name” has it exactly right….lady in the street, freak in the bed. I don’t think it’s a whole lot more complicated than that.

By MELO

October 8, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Most bytchy broads complain about dudes being dogs - meaning that she’s been ran through by 20 dycks this year, while the nice girl complains of not being able to find a man since 06. ,BK,thats whats up!

By Blue_Kolla

October 8, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

Cee Cee making thangs happen.

That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout. Go’ead wit’cho bad self!

NC Chick But, my point is, there are plenty of good men out there who are, at the very least, giving the impression that they prefer the freaks and the drama queens, b/c that’s who they gravitate toward.

And when is all of this gravitation taking place, on Friday and Saturday night ha? …When dude is on the hunt for that new piece of azz.

Science: Once you get through the b!tchy on a broad, it’s pretty much a straight shot to the poosey; whereas with a nice broad, either you’ll need to demonstrate at least a fondness for the chick or be the type to dog the chick out without remorse. Contrary to popular belief, dudes don’t take comfort in doggin’ non-deserved chicks. So yeah, he’ll gravitate towards the bytchy broad simply to avoid feelings of guilt later on down the line, not because that’s his preference.

Don’t believe me? Check the stats. Most bytchy broads complain about dudes being dogs - meaning that she’s been ran through by 20 dycks this year, while the nice girl complains of not being able to find a man since 06.

Last Note: Once a dude hits 35, and puts that mature stamp on his social resume, he pretty much ain’t puttin’ up with no BULLsh!t from no silly azz broad. She can get da fugg on down the line.

By Margie

October 8, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

I have not had a date in 10 years, frankly I no longer am interested in playing the game, but yes, nice girls do finish last. Men in my age group want the young blondes, not women their own age, and the divorced men are better off staying divorced and not ruining anybody else’s lives, although it is never “his” fault.

By I need a permanent name...

October 8, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

Thank you Beach Lover, now where do I send the check? LOL.

By Dan

October 8, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

• dog the[bytchy] chick out without remorse..*

*the more beautiful a woman is physically, the nastier she is, because everyone spoils her *

These two statements are extremely accurate.

I can get through the nastiness to taaaddazzup, and then not feel guilty for getting dressed while you’re in the bathroom.

As far as the pretty women with stank attitudes, they get the same treatment. Nice to have flucked you, I’ll remember your (face, body) fondly, but I really don’t like you - so I’m out.

I’d add this to BK’s post, if you’re getting calls during the week ladies, he’s sizing you up as a good one, worthy of time in his schedule.

Anytime between sundown on Friday thru Sunday aroound 12, you’re not the one.

So be enlightened, be encouraged, for no man wants the mother of his child to be a bucock (if he can help it)

By AmazonRed

October 8, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

You have a man.

Truth, when did I get one of those? If I had a man why am I out in bars?

Besides, I was just looking. Not like I was gonna approach anyway.

By Blue_Kolla

October 8, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

I need a permanent name… * How about *Mista Fuggin’ Nice Guy? LOL

SexyCool oh, come now, everyone…don’t jump on the i’m a nice girl bandwagon just cause it’s the word of the day…

Seeing as you’re normally of a real positive nature with a little salt thrown in from time to time, it’s my duty to tell you that your skirt’s been hangin’ for the last 2 months.

Kym There is a Indian Pow-Wow in early November with my name on it.]

You bet’not be talkin’ ‘bout that Skins-Steelers smashin’ coming up on the 3rd.

Truth Btw, just because a chick is nice doesn’t mean she won’t light it up in the bedroom.

Good roll homie, I just hit on the Pass Line.

By Leggs

October 8, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

Had to laugh at sexual deflation!

By NCGirlfromATL

October 8, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

Fun apparently is spending hours on the phone arguing and cussing each other out or playing the hang up game.

^^5 to Kym

BK You stoopid! LOLOL!

kimmie a lot of men create problems for themselves with the type of women they go for too, and actually MARRY! It boggles the mind! Exactly my point! It’s not just about the quick hit and quit. Drama queens and freaks get married too, and then they mess up a good man for the next woman.

Wassup Melo?

By Leggs

October 8, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

Anytime between sundown on Friday thru Sunday aroound 12, you’re not the one. Never a truer statement uttered!!!!

By SexyCool

October 8, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

bk…i appreciate the observation…

By The Blogger formerly known as Kym

October 8, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

Blue No I am not speaking of the butt whipping the Steelers will give the Redskins..on Nov 3rd. There is a real Indian Pow-Wow at Stone Mountain Park Nov 6-9 that I will be attending.

By MLL

October 8, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

Dan if you’re pretty/beautiful you’re already pegged as a nasty person who is spoiled, so get what you want and get to stepping is pretty much how you’re summing it up?

By kimmie

October 8, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

Kym - Did you go to the state f