Misadventures in Atlanta

By Dan

October 7, 2008 8:50 AM | Link to this

I love for women to approach me.

It takes the pressure off, paradoxically.

The smoothest way that I’ve been hit on is someone sending me drinks, it took about two before I realized that the lady bringing me the drinks, wasn’t the waitress, she was the one buying them.

Needless to say the favors were returned and we had a really good time.

But what always strikes me as interesting is that really beautiful when bemoan their singlehood and the lack of approach by men, yet often don’t take the initiative.

By C tha 1

October 7, 2008 8:58 AM | Link to this

I don’t mind approaching a woman, but I am flattered whenever the opposite happens. I’m pretty easy as a matter of fact…she buy me a drank…I’ll dance and not act stuck up. Hell I’ll even put out on the first date! haha:)

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 9:00 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone…I see nothing wrong w/taking the initiatve and approaching a man. I’ve done it and will continue to do it. Don’t believe they always have to be the pursuer. Men love to be flattered and complimented just as much as women. Confidence in one self is a beautiful jewel!

By Dan

October 7, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

I personally equate a woman approaching a man and a woman that is assertive and unabashedly (pre- or post- codial) conversant about her sexuality as confidence.

It just says to me that she comfortable with all aspects of her life and herself, so much so, that she willing -if not eager - to let a potential mate know how he would fit into her life.

That isht right there ^^ is sexy to me.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone.

Nope, I don’t approach men. I do feel like it upsets the natural order of things. I start doing the things you are supposed to do, then you get mad down the road when it seems I’m the one running the show.

Besides, the type of men I wish to attract are the ones who wouldn’t prefer the woman approach anyway.

I will strike up random conversatons with men while I’m out, not for the purpose of trying to holla. I will give off the vibe that it’s okay to approach, if he’s interested.

Maybe if I never got approached, I’d feel differently.

By The Truth

October 7, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this

Morning folks.

I was in a store and a chick walked up and said she was trying to buy her brother a jacket and he was about my size. She had her hand on my arm and asked me to help her find one. Me, being the nice person I am jumped right in and started looking. Thats when she admitted she was fibbing and she just wanted to talk with me. We both laughed a lot and enjoyed the moment.

I have a few neighbors and friends that ask me out for lunch or bake for me or something and it’s still refreshing. Just break bread and enjoy the company. Sometimes I simp out and ask them out too. LOL

By M.

October 7, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

I think every guy wants to be approached, but I think Im good either way. I think guys do still like the challenge of trying to get a woman to go from swapping numbers to the next level and making something out of nothing. I think there needs to be a balance also because some people may say the person who asked should pay, in this case on paper it would be the woman but then if its the first date, technically the guy should pay. But she must be interested if she asked you out so just go with it.

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

ARed, approaching a man and “running the show” are two completely different things. I too believe in the natural order of things, but nothing wrong w/stirring the pot sometimes and approaching first!

By Sassy

October 7, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

It worked/went both ways for me and my guy. We were working in the same office building. We’d often run into each other outside of the building and always chatted each other up. I knew he was attracted to me but he wouldn’t make the first move. I, attracted to him as well, decided to ask him out on a lunch date but weeks would go by without setting a ‘date’ as it were.

About a month goes by and still no ‘date’ I jokingly as him if he was gay. He chuckled and said, “No”. Ok, are you married? Again, “No”. His response: “I’ve just been recently widowered”.

I offered my condolences and decided at that point to totally back off the ‘date’.

We continued to see run into each other at the office, always stopping for friendly chit chat. Fast forward 4 months…He asks me for that lunch date. We’ve been together over a year now and things are awesome.

So, YES!!! I have no problem being the ‘hunter’, and I found men like to be approached, just be honest and interject a little humor.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

Last week I was walking to my car after this fundraiser in Atlantic Station. I was on one side of the street and these two guys were on the other. One of the guys, literally stopped in his tracks and just started to stare. I slowed down, but kept walking. He crossed the street and said how he just had to meet me, yada yada yada. We had a nice convo right there on the sidewalk. Physcially, he was what I liked in man, and he could hold a conversation. Score! We exchanged numbers. I gave him mine and he called me so that I would have his. At the end, he said something to the effect of “I hope to hear from you.” I haven’t called, and he hasn’t either. Just goes to show you that some dudes talk a good game but ain’t about action. Next!

Truth, you just gonna ignore my email huh? tapping toe LOL

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

ARed, approaching a man and “running the show” are two completely different things.

Leggs, it all starts somewhere.

Didn’t say anything was “wrong” with it. But it’s not for me.

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this

Is it upsetting the natural order of things to ask a guy out?

No. I don’t think that a woman approaching upset the natural order of things. There are other things that really do that such as Fatherless homes and things like that.

Growing up we had those Sadie Hawkins dances (where the female asks the guy out). It was refreshing and also allows the female to see what a male deals with in making those type of decisions. For the most part, females seemed to be more grateful toward being aproached by man after that experience.

Although, I don’t know any woman that has been turned away by a man. So, ultimately, the decision to continue still stays in woman’s court. Other than the initiating the contact, things really stay the same.

As far as smooth approaches go

I’ve had an experience like Truth where the female acted as if she needed me as reference for her brother’s clothes. Heck, it may have been the same woman…LOL. I doubt it unless you were in Cincy around 1994…See I still remember it like it was yesterday.

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

Usually the women who do approach me are absolutely the furthest thing from what I am attracted to… But in the rare case where an intelligent and half way good looking woman does approach, I love it.

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

Sometimes I simp out and ask them out too. LOL

LOL….I GOT THE SHOT HOMIE

i have approached and been approached several times….i dont mind either way…just want the interaction to go smooth…lol

hell i got approached the weekend…very interesting interaction to say the least…lol…my honesty got me in trouble

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

I think there needs to be a balance also because some people may say the person who asked should pay, in this case on paper it would be the woman but then if its the first date, technically the guy should pay. But she must be interested if she asked you out so just go with it.

There goes overanalyzing (yesterdays topic). Talk to the person and you two can figure it out. O worst case scenario be prepared to pay for it.

By Bob

October 7, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

Old cliché’ but it works here……only thing constant is change itself. These days and times, things have definitely changed as it relates to Male/Female relationships. With so many divorced and single women over 40 it shouldn’t strike you as strange that women approach men for just about anything. Keep in mind that some men may not even know that you are interested and it may take a little or a lot of ‘prodding’ on the woman’s part. In any case it’s very flattering for a woman to invite, speak, touch etc. with a man that she is interested in and should work more times than not. Those men that wouldn’t or don’t appreciate this are not worth your time anyway so keep moving and for those women that have never tried this approach ask one of your female friends that has tried this approach what her success rate is…..I’m sure you will be surprised.

By Andy P.

October 7, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

I think there can be a happy medium of the two. As stated before, men do like to be complimented or flattered just as women. I suppose it’s really HOW one is approached…and we all know that varies person to person. Sure that might negate the whole “natural process”, but who really says that it has to be normal for a man to pursue a woman. If you’re interested, go for it. In the grand scheme of things, you’re looking out for your own happiness, so why NOT express interest in someone that you may like? Life’s way too short to think “what if?”.

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

Ok, you’re right. You didn’t say anything “wrong” with it. Gotcha! I too met what seemed like a very nice man. We talked for a while right in the parking lot of the beauty supply store. He’s coming out the barber shop. He gives me his number. When I got home I decided to call him so he can program my number in. We chatted a little more. He said he looks forward to hearing from me, and I say I too am looking forward to hearing from you as well. Two weeks go by and I call simply to say hello. He’s cordial as he should be, but haven’t heard anything else. I won’t call anymore, but in cases like these it’s definitely hard to determine when you’re being a pest by being the caller and he not calling once. So, to me the best thing is to back off. If he wants to speak w/me he will. It’s not in my nature to force anything.

By Bob

October 7, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

Old cliché’ but it works here……only thing constant is change itself. These days and times, things have definitely changed as it relates to Male/Female relationships. With so many divorced and single women over 40 it shouldn’t strike you as strange that women approach men for just about anything. Keep in mind that some men may not even know that you are interested and it may take a little or a lot of ‘prodding’ on the woman’s part. In any case it’s very flattering for a woman to invite, speak, touch etc. with a man that she is interested in and should work more times than not. Those men that wouldn’t or don’t appreciate this are not worth your time anyway so keep moving and for those women that have never tried this approach ask one of your female friends that has tried this approach what her success rate is…..I’m sure you will be surprised.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

those women that have never tried this approach ask one of your female friends that has tried this approach what her success rate is…..I’m sure you will be surprised.

Halle Berry told me the ish doesn’t work! So she gave up and started dating white guys. LOL

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

have approached guys…have asked guys out…have seduced guys…have not put too much thought into it…

it was what i wanted to do at the time…so, i did it…

and…that’s all there was too it…

i can’t think of any of the zaniest pickup lines (lol) that i’ve used…and there have been many…but usually…it’s something like…i’m looking at you, you’re looking at me, so seems as if we should be doing more than looking at each other…

By Dan

October 7, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

it was what i wanted to do at the time…so, i did it…

^^See what I mean about sexy???

i’m looking at you, you’re looking at me, so seems as if we should be doing more than looking at each other…

^^This isht right there, you wouldn’t have been to finish the ing in “looking”

By abc

October 7, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

I’ve always been nice to women that have asked me out, but seriously — for men, all that indicates is a casual good time,and probability of easy and recreational sex. If that’s all it’s about, then fine, but if you hold yourself in higher regard, I’d advise against approaching a man first.

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Halle Berry told me the ish doesn’t work!

I wouldn’t take any advice from her. She has some major issues. DJ says that she was really out there and he was married to her. So, I wouldn’t use her as a point of reference for anything.

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

One of the guys, literally stopped in his tracks and just started to stare.

—and I still want to see!!!!

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

I was talking to a woman I met recently about a similar topic. And this part about exchanging numbers came up. And I was told that I am the type of guy who can drive a woman crazy because I will hold a conversation with a woman (at a bar or restaurant or club, etc…) and not ask for her #. My thing is that I can hold a conversation with anybody no matter what you look like, but there has to be a few things there to make me want to get a woman’s number. 1. I have to enjoy the conversation. 2. I have to feel that she is at least a little bit interested, and not just talking to hear herself speak. 3. I have to be in a certain mood to want to get a #… I mean sometimes its just not the day…

So ladies… what do you do if a guy does spark up a conversation and you enjoy his company, yet he does not go for the digits? Do you let him walk away or remind him that he forgot something?

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

once…a guys asked me if he could buy me a drink…i asked him if he knew how to scramble eggs…he said why?…i said cause that’s what i’m going to need you to cook me for breakfast in the moring…i kid, i kid…

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

but if you hold yourself in higher regard, I’d advise against approaching a man first.

LOL. My kind of guy.

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

I’m with ARed in that I don’t approach guys in the hopes of getting a date. I have no problem striking up a conversation with any random person - male or female.

If I see a guy I’m interested in then I’ll try to establish (and maintain) eye contact, flash a smile or use some other method to let him know that I’m interested, but I don’t make the first move.

By Blow ME...HI HATERS!!

October 7, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Good Morning

Shut up Dan

On topic- Blow is old fashion when it comes to dating on certain issues. I like to be approached by the man. It’s just the nature of the beast. Men are hunters and stragetic players by nature….so I’ll let him hunt me out. I believe MEN have roles and WOMEN have roles…

A role of a man is to hunt and find…the woman is to wait to be found. Men initiate marriage. Not WOMEN. My honest belief

A man who finds a wife finds a good thing. So I’ll lay back in the cut to let him find me.

Whats for me is for me. No matter how much I scream, beg, cry. Whatever is suppose to be will be mines. Bottomline..If it does not happen no sweat, maybe another time.

Don’t get me wrong…I’ll let him know when I’m open of course. Smile, laugh…be receptive. But me saying

“Hello I’m Blow you look hot tonight….” Nope…Won’t do it. I’ll wait and look…but WILL NOT make a move.

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

abc I disagree with your 10:18 post partially The way I have experienced it it does not matter who approaches first. Women are good at letting you know what they want you to know from the start. Even if a woman approaches you can tell by her approach (or shortly thereafter) if she just wants to have a little fun or if she is looking for a long term relationship. Its up to the dude to be honest and reply accordingly… We all know that if a dude is just in it for the draws we will do whatever we think it takes to get them no matter who approaches first.

By The Truth

October 7, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

Ared I havent received anything. Send it again. You know I’d never overlook you. And I know why that cat stopped in his tracks. LOL

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

what do you do if a guy does spark up a conversation and you enjoy his company, yet he does not go for the digits?

Leon, I take it for what it is. Just a conversation. I would hope any guy I talked to in a social setting wouldn’t be presumptuous enough to think I’m interested.

Bottom line, I believe men are simple and if he really WANTS to get to know you, he’ll make moves to get it done.

Rell, I figured he was staring because I had toilet paper stuck to my shoe or something. ;-)

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

SexyCool, you’re funny, but get where you’re coming from.

LPhelps, if all that was going on and he walked away w/o asking for the number, I wouldn’t remind him that he forgot something. He didn’t forget, he didn’t want it! Keep it moving…

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

leon…if we were conversing and you walked away without asking for my number…i would let you walk away if i were not that interested…i also might let you walk away if i was interested depending on whatever else i may have had going on in my life at the time…

in other words…there is such a thing as an OVERSTOCKED stable…lol….

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

PG, I was completely kidding. I know HB, has a host of issues! You would feel bad for her, if she wasn’t so pretty. LOL

Truth, I’ll send it again. Thanks. And I’m telling you, it had to be toilet paper. LOL

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

Leon Phelps I’d let him walk away with no problems. I’m with you, just because we have good conversation doesn’t mean we have to take it any further.

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

I’ve always been nice to women that have asked me out, but seriously — for men, all that indicates is a casual good time,and probability of easy and recreational sex.

NOT TRUE and pretty fluck up to say thats all we think of women that will approach a man….

By MLL

October 7, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Hello Everyone, I’ve asked guys out with no problem, I personally don’t see anything wrong with it or going against the order of nature. You see, you’re interested, why not apporached, where’s the confidence or is it rejection that is at stake? There was one that backfire on me, guy told me he’s never had a woman apporach him before so he knew I must be interested in him, well turns out I approached the wrong guy b/c he turned out to be very very sticky soon after, other than him I’ve never had a problem nor do I make it a habit either.

As for asking a guy that I’m dating, done it too…I invite, I pay and the place will be decided by both…we’re both grown folks and it’s fair game on both sides.

By MLL

October 7, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Hello Everyone, I’ve asked guys out with no problem, I personally don’t see anything wrong with it or going against the order of nature. You see, you’re interested, why not apporached, where’s the confidence or is it rejection that is at stake? There was one that backfire on me, guy told me he’s never had a woman apporach him before so he knew I must be interested in him, well turns out I approached the wrong guy b/c he turned out to be very very sticky soon after, other than him I’ve never had a problem nor do I make it a habit either.

As for asking a guy that I’m dating, done it too…I invite, I pay and the place will be decided by both…we’re both grown folks and it’s fair game on both sides.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

there is such a thing as an OVERSTOCKED stable…lol

LOL. True that SexyCool. I’m not really trying to put forth real effort right now. Til my situation changes.

I was a day late in calling a divorced guy with a 6 and 3 year old back. He didn’t take that very well. Needless to say, I wasn’t really pressed!

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

if you hold yourself in higher regard, I’d advise against approaching a man first.

I disagree with implication that this statement makes.

There are plenty of women who don’t approach that dont’ hold themselves in a higher regard. As a matter of fact, many non-approacher of either gender don’t approach because of self-esteem issue. Many men & women alike don’t approach because of fear of rejection.

So not approaching a man, does not mean as much about her holding herself in a high regard. It just means that she garnered enough courage to do something different than many other woman. No more no less. You ,too, are overanalyzing. (yesterdays topic)

By MLL

October 7, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

So ladies… what do you do if a guy does spark up a conversation and you enjoy his company, yet he does not go for the digits? Leon I would enjoy the convo and leave it at that…great converstion is just that…no need to look or analyze any further.

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

If I see a guy I’m interested in then I’ll try to establish (and maintain) eye contact, flash a smile or use some other method to let him know that I’m interested, but I don’t make the first move.

what do you call flashing a smile and eye contact…..A FIRST MOVE

@ared…guess i am never going to see huh?

@sexycool…i must be on the “do not call list”

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

once i was set up on a blind date with a guy and was really feeling him so i was turning on all the sexycoolness…i think he was thrown off by me rubbing on them thick muscular thighs…so, he leans over and says, “i don’t do one night stands.”…i was like, “good, cause i won’t be standing up….i plan on laying down…” more laughing and kidding…

By Dan

October 7, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Heeey Blow, hit me up: danbynight@netzero.com

But here’s my thing, and PG hit me with the psychology of it, when you get in the mode to be a “hunter” soon enough, the prey you end up chasing…is the feel of the hunt itself. That is you become addicted to the emotion of the hunt.

I know guys like this. The “hunt” for them is the thing. But for me it isn’t. It’s the “prey” that I’m after so the means and mode to achieve that goal are simple to me.

Truth be told, when the prize or the prey is worth the chase….I’m at it. But if they present themselves..it somehow makes it all the more intriguing to me

By MLL

October 7, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

If I see a guy I’m interested in then I’ll try to establish (and maintain) eye contact, flash a smile or use some other method to let him know that I’m interested Tazzee that’s the same as approaching him just sugared up…..You really don’t think he doens’t see you looking? Men are not that simple.

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

rell…i was tied up when you called…after that…it was night, night…ya know?

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

To all the folks who say men should do the askin What’s the difference in a man asking a woman out, and a woman asking a dude out, if the woman makes it obvious that she wants dude to holla? I mean we all know that a lot of women will change up their routine in order to become more visible to a certain guy, such as going to the gym when he will be there or going to the place where he has lunch regularly… at some point don’t the actions of the woman get to a point where its pretty much the same as her asking dude to holla at her?

By abc

October 7, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Poppa Grande, I don’t mean holding herself in a higher regard as would pertain to being shy or afraid of rejection.

I mean in terms of considering her virtue to be important enough to her to preserve, or whether she’d just want to be a party girl. Hey, party girls can be lots of fun, but nobody marries her until she’s done with all that.

That’s all I’m saying: if you’re only after casual fun and you don’t mind that the man considers you nothing much more than that, with probability of easy recreational sex, then fine. But, if you hold yourself in a higher regard than that, I recommend against it. You’ll be perceived by a man as one not possessed of the kind of virtue(s) to which he’d be willing to commit.

That’s not over-analysis, to me; it’s quite plain and obvious.

By For Real

October 7, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

but if you hold yourself in higher regard, I’d advise against approaching a man first.

LOL. My kind of guy.

Ared Remember abc likes them barefeet and pregnant too and you must lie alot too and not work and some other stuff too

Oh and I don’t see how you approaching me will somehow change the fact that I am a man and you are a woman.

For Real now removing his belt and popping it like Robin Harris did in House Party 87 or was 1.

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

AR

Unfortunately, she is one of the few people that I don’t feel sorry for. I don’t watch her movies anymore. She is not one of my favorite people period. Inner ugliness overshadows outer beauty everytime.

Next

Bottom line, I believe men are simple and if he really WANTS to get to know you, he’ll make moves to get it done.

We are simple, so you are correct there. However, we are sometimes so simple that we miss all of your “hints”. It doesn’t mean that you have to “spread eagle” on some dude’s car for him to get the hint, but some aren’t good at knowing when to ask for the digits or even if it is acceptible.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

guess i am never going to see huh?

Rell Nah, playa, cuz you get to look at your beautiful wife everyday. You’re straight! :-)

By MLL

October 7, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

Leon is she showing up in different disguises?? whether or not that’s stalking LOL

By Sidelines

October 7, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers…

LPhelps, So ladies…what do you do if a guy does spark up a conversation and you enjoy his company, yet he does not go for the digits? Do you let him walk away or remind him that he forgot something?

Leggs, LPhelps, if all that was going on and he walked away w/o asking for the number, I wouldn’t remind him that he forgot something. He didn’t forget, he didn’t want it! Keep it moving…

I totally agree with Leggs, Tazzee and Blow on this, if a guy walked away and he doesn’t ask for the number, whats wrong with simply enjoying the moment for what it was and let it go. Nothing worse than running up behind a dude and looking desperate. If he didn’t ask, he wasn’t interested. Just my .02

And, Blow hit the nail on the head with her 10:26post, I totally agree.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

While I’m aware of the conceit in this statement…it’s still true…

@Tazzee

I get the stares of women, just walking in my own world everyday and while I appreciate the acknowledgement, if you’re staring past those 3 seconds…I need you to say something.

For me, if you’re just watching me, you’re just watching me. I don’t mind, but if you’re staring to the point of walking into something or someone, why not say something?

I would’ve asked ARed, but I know for her, that’s heresy…

By Riz

October 7, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

Of course it’s fine - do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to approach a woman casually at a club or bar or store when she’s with her friends. You might pay a compliment, ask to buy a drink or just generally start a conversation.

If you stumble, or aren’t what the friends are looking for - you’ll get straight up laughed at. Not politely dismissed laughed at. No respectable man will go through that and nobody deserves to.

So - you’d better learn to approach or Mr. Right will quietly wait until someone else does.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

Ared Remember abc likes them barefeet and pregnant too and you must lie alot too and not work and some other stuff too

For Real, I get to lie and get away with it out the deal too? All that stuff works for me then. I’ll just take work that lying part out with God.

By For Real

October 7, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

PG However, we are sometimes so simple that we miss all of your “hints”. Let me take one step further. We or should I say I’m tired of having to decipher 1300 various hints which may or may not apply to that particular chick. You are an adult if you want something open your friggin mouth and say it. I just find it childish that a grown azz women would sit across the room winking and smiling or performing some other body language, instead just saying hey i like dolphins. Besides, I can’t see but shadows after 25ft.

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

some aren’t good at knowing when to ask for the digits or even if it is acceptible. No one is good at this, its always a shot in the dark. You can have the best eye contact, the best conversation, and all that good stuff, but if the other person is just a flirt or is for some other reason not feeling you 100% you will get rejected when you go for the digits. What some are good at is accepting this rejection and keeping it moving to the next one….

And WTF is up with trying to give a guy your email address? It has never happened to me personally but I have been at the scene of the crime and seen random dudes, and my homeboys get an email address wehn they asked for a #… Me personally, would have told her to keep that wack isht to herself… If you not feeling dude just decline the offer… LoL

By Dan

October 7, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

@For Real

That 11:01<——-My friggin point exactly!!!!!!!!!!

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

i will say this…women are bold these days….i hear everything…..and i pick up on things quick…and i get all type of comments daily because i pretty much chill and stay to myself on the job….which leads to curiosity as to why i am not joining in with the rest of the dudes sweating the local hawt co-worker…feel me…..ya know i get the dayum gurl did you smell him…i wonder what he has on…..nice shoes….as he been working out….its the quite ones you have to worry about…etc etc..all with earshot of me and loud enough for me to hear…and then the giggles when i walk by…

By For Real

October 7, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

Oh and ladies what is with the Circle of Hellz that yall form when out at a club? You have to have 5 dudes in order to attack and break the circle but I don’t travel in packs anymore. Besides, my wingman day was over after that one time at band camp.

By For Real

October 7, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

All that stuff works for me then.

For Real just served abc a hanging curve ball.

Ared Dayummm you are old fashion huh? For Real now buying Ared an old fashion washboard for christmas.

By MELO

October 7, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

I’m pretty easy as a matter of fact if a woman said thatC,wld ur attitude be favorable…??

conversant about her sexuality as confidence see hw it quickly turned to sexuality??? men will judge u that way….

Just break bread and enjoy the company i wld proly say same thing myself Truth,but there is a whole lot of code in there to decode….

I don’t know any woman that has been turned away by a man confirms exactly where im going with this….Poppe

all that indicates is a casual good time,and probability of easy and recreational sex thank u senior,u are in sync with my conclusion. Ladies,be very careful when u do it,its never a very good look for a long term coz u start with a negative on the score sheet.Then once u and him are talking, its up to you to build ur reputation.The thing is if she approaches me,i categorize her as a random(in ma head)It takes her to convince me thru hw she carries herself that she is a different kind of animal in this.Not an easy if that happens to u and me coz the thing is, i will insist on the horizontal tango quick hit.If u oblige coz u attracted already, u now have an uphill struggle of rebuilding.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

I just came into about $200 to spend at the Buckhead Life Restaurants. I’m gonna take my boo out for a special dinner. Anyone have some feeback on the following spots? I haven’t been to any of em.

• ATLANTA FISH MARKET
• CHOPS LOBSTER BAR
• KYMA
• NAVA
• PANO’s & PAUL’s
• PRICCI
• VENI VIDI VICI
• BUCKHEAD DINER
• BLUEPOINTE

By Dan

October 7, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

In that John Legend song Dre says:

“See you did, I overheard you tell your girls ‘he can get it’, let’s take a cab, and split it, forget it, I’m kiddin’, we both going to where you livin’ “

My point is, you’re eyes may say “he can git it”, the slow and subtle licking of the lips may indicate it, but unless I’m in the mood to pounce (which these days are few and far between) then you may have missed it (your chance)

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

Dayummm you are old fashion huh?

LOL. For Real, you must be new here. Yes, I am.

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

Riz LoL isn’t that rule #22,432???? Never approach a woman when she has more than 1 friend with her. (unless you have an equal number of male friends with you) Its almost a no-win situation. Somebody in the group is going to find something wrong with any dude who approaches, especially if you holla at the obviously best looking one of the bunch.
Which brings me to a second point… what value is the initial meeting if you know that it was based purely on looks? I have to say that my best relationships were with people I met in a setting where we were interacting such as college campus, during my lunch hour, at a social gathering, etc. When I have met women in bars/clubs 9 times out of 10 they end up not being much more than a woman who looks good, but with no real substance. Now I am not saying that women who go to clubs are all airheads, but the ones I have found so far have been, for the most part.

By SlimOne

October 7, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

Hi Ya’ll

just heard the last dept at the office I was in got the boot this morning..gave them till 11am to get the fluck out..already had boxes for them

The best way I ever approached a guy was I asked if he would be so kind as to pull the wedgie out of my azz. I think it was love at first sight. LOL

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

For Real

Throw in the females that are just touchy feely/flirty by nature, it could make things tougher.

By ATLWorldwide

October 7, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

“I’ve always been nice to women that have asked me out, but seriously — for men, all that indicates is a casual good time,and probability of easy and recreational sex. If that’s all it’s about, then fine, but if you hold yourself in higher regard, I’d advise against approaching a man first.”

Thanks for your honesty. I see times have not changed, and I am going to stick to plan A based on this man’s honest response.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

and i get all type of comments daily because i pretty much chill and stay to myself on the job….which leads to curiosity as to why i am not joining in with the rest of the dudes sweating the local hawt co-worker…feel me…..ya know i get the dayum gurl did you smell him…i wonder what he has on…..nice shoes….as he been working out….its the quite ones you have to worry about…etc etc..all with earshot of me and loud enough for me to hear…and then the giggles when i walk by…

Rell, you work for Lady Eloise don’t ya?

Marcuuuss…dahling!

By MELO

October 7, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

As for asking a guy that I’m dating, done it too why wld that even be an issue??

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

@Riz

Free Game

do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to approach a woman casually at a club or bar or store when she’s with her friends. You might pay a compliment, ask to buy a drink or just generally start a conversation.

Here is what i do - i walk up and say either excuse me or hello…i state all you ladies are looking very nice tonight/today etc..but i am came over here because of your friend..i find her style attractive and to my taste in women…and then i would turn directly to your choice and say do you mind if i have a moment of your time….then approach will stir all types of emotions and usually one out of the group will say go ahead girl talk to him we still have your back if he is crazy….success rate for real about 50 percent….yea it can backfire…but nothing ventured nothing gained

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

Rell correction - I don’t approach or go say something to a guy. Mind you, this is an across the room type deal. The type of moves that take extra effort other than passing by and saying hello.

MLL if that’s your definition of approaching a guy - then I guess I do approach. I’m sure he sees me looking never thought dudes were simple. This is my part in letting a guy know that it’s OK to approach (come say something).

Dan *”I get the stares of women, just walking in my own world everyday and while I appreciate the acknowledgement, if you’re staring past those 3 seconds…I need you to say something.

For me, if you’re just watching me, you’re just watching me. I don’t mind, but if you’re staring to the point of walking into something or someone, why not say something?”*

LOL - never said I’m staring. I’d catch your eye and smile. I said establish and maintain eye contact because it’s never just a glance.

Riz My Mr. Right won’t be the type that quietly waits for anything he wants. I met this guy while out with a friend one time. Attractive guy and he flat out said that he doesn’t approach any females - he sits back and waits for them to say something to him. So we sat back and watched. One woman went so far as to bump into him and said excuse me, but he didn’t use that opening. I heard later that he did get some numbers that night from women that approached him. But while the guy was attractive, his quietly waiting approach made it so I was not attracted to him.

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

AmazonRed I love the Atlanta Fish market, as the name implies they do a good job with fish there.

Veni Vidi Veci has good italian food , I have only been there for lunch… I have had lunch there and had everyone from the Governor to local news anchors, to CEO’s of various companies sitting at the next table….the food is good too.

By M.

October 7, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

@AmazonRed

The Atlanta Fish Market is really good. You should just make a reservation and check it out.

Also,

You can go to Corner Cafe (They are part of the buckhead life group). Try the brunch on saturday and get the bbq shrimp and grits.

By MELO

October 7, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

Physcially, he was what I liked in man, and he could hold a conversation. Score! what was ur thoght process at this time….esp after the score??? I mean wld u have given him play,maybe a date and then tell current what?????

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

*AmazonRed * Also Veni Vidi Veci can prepare Glueten Free meals, if that matters ( discalimer.. I have not been there in almost 2 years)

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

AR

Sell it and take him to Fogo De Chao. He can really get his grub on there….j/k

My favorite of BLG:

1) Chops 2) Panos and Paul’s 3) Nava 4) Bluepointe 5) Kyma

Chops is really number 1 because I’ve been there the most. Working for a firm in Buckhead made Chops easy access for business lunches.

Kyma was really good too. I’ve only been there once, though. It has a greek theme (at least that is what it seemed like).

By MLL

October 7, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

Ared you can’t go wrong with VENI VIDI VICI…unless he’s a seafood lover then it’s CHOPS…

melo I didn’t say it was an issue but some do/have made it one.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

what was ur thoght process at this time….esp after the score??? I mean wld u have given him play,maybe a date and then tell current what?????

melo, good question. I wanted to see how the rest of the convo panned out. After the “hope to hear from you” part, I knew Beau had nothing to worry about.

Common theme, none of these guys are hitting on anything worthy of risking what I have for.

By MLL

October 7, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

Thanks Ared now I’m hungry…..LOL

By mqew

October 7, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

Ared CHOPS!!! Kyma is cool too… I think they have the bomb azz flash frozen lobster tails

I don’t freakin believe this… I agree with Melo and abc

DAMN DAMN DAMN said as Ms. Florida Evans

By New Rell Order

October 7, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

@ared….got jokes this morning….lol…good one…but call it what you want….i am just stating the facts…and for the record…they are all younger than me…young tenders hawt in the arse…i just keep it moving…

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

Thanks for all the suggestions you well fed bloggers.

PG, I only weigh 130 pounds so Fogo De Chao is often a waste for the money for me since I can’t take it with me! LOL

I’ve been wanting to go to Chops cuz AmazonRed is a steak and potatoes girl who loves a good surf n turf! That’s my choice, but I’m letting him decide.

By Blue_Kolla

October 7, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

What up peeps?

…nothing wrong with a woman approaching a man. Matter of fact, it probably works out a lot more than the what ABC was alluding to, especially if the woman displays a certain level of self-respect and integrity.

By Riz

October 7, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

I appreciate feedback. I lurk and don’t post here much so it’s nice to get a response.

I understand your points and its clear that “nothing ventured - nothing gained.” Getting shutdown or laughed at or completely pushed aside would ruin my evening. Since I so rarely go out - it’s simply not a risk I want to take.

By For Real

October 7, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

Ared If he wants steak it’s chops. If he likes swordfish take him to Aria the best I have ever had. If you want steak and atmosphere go to Taurus. If you want a two piece with toast take him to the Blue Note. What up Cee!

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

We are simple, so you are correct there. However, we are sometimes so simple that we miss all of your “hints”.

But PG, it’s not really about my hints. It’s about YOUR interest. It really doesn’t matter what I do, shy of telling you to get lost. If you really want to get to know me, you’ll find a way to meet me.

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

My Mr. Right won’t be the type that quietly waits for anything he wants.

I just think that is a terrible assumption. Many guys aren’t just waiting. They are living. Shoot, we have daily stresses like anyone else.

Many guys, having experienced approaching an possible romantic interest themselves & knowing the nerve that it takes to do so, would be appreciative. Unless he is Melo or abc, most won’t automatically think of it an easy sexual encounter. Dude would still have to make sure that he doesn’t say anything stupid.

Believe me, whether a female approached or not, one wrong word can turn a female off.

Off topic

One of the secretaries here in the firm has just gone off on the attorney. She had enough of his orders (or so says her). She threw her keys and blackberry at him and told him to shove it where the sun don’t shine…lol.

Free entertainment on Tuesday in the ATL. I could hear her all the way down the hall. Needless to say that she was escorted out…lol

By MELO

October 7, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

i think he was thrown off by me rubbing on them thick muscular thighs u just confirmed Rell’s black book, rule#493 , which reads * women luv to pfluck as much and if not more than guys do,let them rub it first to allow easier entry!!*

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

CHOPS IS THE PLACE TO GO! But you did say, you’re letting him pick!

By Riz

October 7, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

I appreciate feedback. I lurk and don’t post here much so it’s nice to get a response.

I understand your points and its clear that “nothing ventured - nothing gained.” Getting shutdown or laughed at or completely pushed aside would ruin my evening. Since I so rarely go out - it’s simply not a risk I want to take.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

You are an adult if you want something open your friggin mouth and say it.

For Real, great point! So that’s why I’ll just wait for the interested guy to approach. Problem solved.

By What's Up With That?

October 7, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

I find that attractive men can look at me all day, but are shy to approach me, regardless of how many hints I drop, so I usually make the initial conversation.

On the other hand, men that I don’t find physically attractive quickly approach me like bees to honey without my giving them any hints at all.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

@Fellas

Is it mainly me, or does anyone else do this too?

Like my man was talking about the “New hot coworker” getting baraged with 15 dudes getting at her the first day…

I typically like to “do my dirt” all by my lonely. If I see a babe that I’m interested in and I get the vibe that it’s mutual, I’m not cutting across the room to get her, I’ll wait til we alone, or create that opportunity, and then get after her.

Usually, esp. with the “fresh meat” of a new coworker…I’m cool in the game until the aforementioned circumstances arise, then me being at her but keeping it low key, gives me the Billy Clint protection from sexual harrassment that I need, and gives her a secret that women love to keep (or so the new coworker told me).

By MLL

October 7, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

melo only speak for yourself when it comes to thinking that a women who approaches men are easy lay….then again in your case maybe that’s all you attract LOL

By Chink

October 7, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

Afternoon!

I dont like approaching! I like giving compliments but thats about it. I agree with abc on that. Also it does give a guy with bad intentions the wrong idea…

I like to be courted and that takes a real mature man.

Went to Atlanta Fish and it wasn’t that good to me.

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

WOW PoppaG, she must have really been frustrated that she couldn’t refrain or take a breather away from her desk. Today’s economy is no joke, sure wished she had taken time out to breathe. This is not the time for anyone to be escorted off the premises.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Free entertainment on Tuesday in the ATL. I could hear her all the way down the hall. Needless to say that she was escorted out…lol

SLIM ONE, PG’s firm has an opening! LOL

By MELO

October 7, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

especially if the woman displays a certain level of self-respect and integrity. when a woman has gone over that edge,it becomes rather difficult for her to maintain that dignity and self respect anyway,she is now all giddy and stuff and her hands are laying all over u in most cases..she is overwhelmed by the attraction.If that weere a man doing what she is doing,the feeling wld be its a guy being a guy..if its woman doing that,she is on a slut scale…not an easy fit to pull off for a woman.Any man,including me, will welcome that.But the feeling for her wont last,in my view.

By Bre'

October 7, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

A closed mouth does not get feed, and thats what I applied to hunting. Most men are pretty darn simple and they don’t always catch onto hints if you are feeling them. I know me I can have a very standoffish type attitude in public. Not on purpose, but sometimes my mind wonders outside of where I am and I can put on a dirty look and not even be aware of it. I’m trying to get better at that. But the fact is if I’m in a spot laying low in the cut. I take in the whole scene and see if anyone catches my eye. 10 to 1 if I’m out I’m out to dance. So I’m looking for swagger and rhythm.

But when I out to just be out I would challenge myself to the finest man in the club. Make a huge bet with the girls that I could get his number and seek him out. Usually it was pretty easy. And I’ve had my shares of no thank you’s. The guy I was engaged to up north, I really was not feeling him too much. But I sent him a drink and before you knew it he was up and over talking to me, and the story goes from there. I don’t remember any lines that I used its as easy as a smile and compliment. Some men just need to know that the door is ajar(not wide open) if so they will pretty much do the rest.

However now that I am older and somehow I’ve become shy with new people. Every once and awhile I see if I still have it. Being in a relationship I pretty much just flirt with ol boy.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

@PG

That 11:39 is right on.

@Taz and ARed

While both of you may be beautiful women (I can only vouch for the one), a man that passes you by in any setting may be, at that moment, dealing with his own circumstances. While he may see you, may take notice, whatever is in his mind may be taking presidence.

Why not offer him the chance to get to know you? As the one that approaches you may snap him out of it.

@Ladies

New Life rule: If you’re on your cell phone and you nod and/or wink or make eye contact (or whatever signal you send)…I’m not interested in talking to you, let alone waiting on you to get off the phone. So if you get the isht grill, your fault.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

Also it does give a guy with bad intentions the wrong idea

Chink, good point. It’s still a toss up about how “acceptable” approaching is. Many guys think it sexy, but others think it’s desperate. Since I think it’s a little “extra” myself, I tend to side with the guys who think it comes off a little desperate.

Besides, my mother approaches guys on my behalf. LOL. At least she picks out tall ones.

By mqew

October 7, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

Chink I agree… on both points… I’ll give a compliment in a heartbeat…

Atlanta Fish Market has great fresh fish, but that’s about it… a lot of standardized sauces to top em with, reminds me of Pappadeaux’s..

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

AR

You can’t go wrong with Chops!! The portions are good. I’ve been there nearly 20 times thanks to the job that I worked in Buckhead. Arthur Blank is a regular there also.

I haven’t had good service experiences with Atlanta Fish Market. The food was good, but the service really turned me off.

Panos & Paul’s looked so unassuming from the outside, but it really impressed me.

By MELO

October 7, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

women who approaches men are easy lay do u speak for a committee when u come on here MLL??? I always thoght i speak for me all the time,authoritatively,but in general terms.Why do u seem salty coz i spoke contra to what u do?? I aint labeling non a slut or labels,just saying in general what i feel,no offense to the agressive females.Matter of fact, i wld luv u to prove urself diffrent,with me tho?? Want that challenge..???

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

PoppaG What I’m saying is, if a guy is interested in me, and he’s my type of guy - then he won’t sit back and quietly wait for me to approach him.

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

Today’s economy is no joke, sure wished she had taken time out to breathe. This is not the time for anyone to be escorted off the premises.

It seems that she has another job already lined up and she is moving to Manhattan (a huge law firm). So, I guess that she got the job, and wanted to give him payback (one of his clients was here to witness it.)

He really was a pain to her. She is someone that I did feel sorry for. She came in early just for his client’s and took work home and all that. He would yell at her at least twice a week until she cried. It seemed like a game to him. She is a single mom and needed the job. He was managing partner and the firm isn’t really big enough for a HR dept. (40 total people) Before her, he went through 4 secretaties in 3 weeks. She stayed for 2 years.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

Why not offer him the chance to get to know you? As the one that approaches you may snap him out of it.

Dan, he has the chance to get to know me, if he takes the opportunity. It’s not my job, nor my desire, to make him “snap out” of anything.

Of course, I’m of the mindset that folks “dealing” with certain things shouldn’t date in the first place. PLEASE get yourself together first!

PG, thanks for the recommendation on Chops. I’m definitely going soon. My boss knows I like a good steak, so he keeps that in mind. I took myself on a nice date to McKendrick’s steak house in Perimeter. I heard it was one of the bests of the independents.

By Blow ME...HI HATERS!!

October 7, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

Ared Aquaknox…the new seafood restaurant in Buckhead. It’s on the corner of piedmont and peachtree..next to Demetrios Bridal shop. It’s really nice and space age looking. Trust me you will Thank me later…Check out the site.

http://www.aquaknox.net/

By MELO

October 7, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

Arthur Blank is a regular there also. mayyyyyyynne..u saying that to mean what??

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

It seems that she has another job already lined up and she is moving to Manhattan (a huge law firm). So, I guess that she got the job, and wanted to give him payback (one of his clients was here to witness it.)

Via the blog topic…checkmate indeed.

But that blowhole will probably never learn though.

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

Success Quote of the Day:

“Do what you can, when you can, the best you can.”

By RELL - 10/15/72

October 7, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

The respect level is way down now-a-days…i mean she is a women…she has desires just like me…if she approaches nothing changes..she still gets qualified and tested before any sex…..we still going to go thru the normal motions of “getting to know” one another….i am like WOW at some of the assumptions on just a simple hello…just yesterday in the store picking up some food for dinner..and i notice a chick staring too long in my direction..i walk over and say may i help you i noticed you looking at me..she replies you looked famliar like i know you or something..i said maybe my name is Rell…and yours is….so we chatted for a moment then i said walk and talk with me i have to go pick up my son from school…so we continue to walk and talk..she asked me was i married of course i said yes….so we get to the check out stop talking say see you around….i mean i did not read any more into it then what she said…i looked like someone she knew…

By MLL

October 7, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

melo no salt here….feeding off of what you typed…again it’s what you feel and what you feel is always based on sex….and degrading women…there’s not a chance in hayal I would give u an ounce of my time to prove anything to you…

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

and i notice a chick staring too long in my direction..i walk over and say may i help you i noticed you looking at me..

Go Rell. *doing the cabbage patch

That’s how it should be done. LOL

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

What I’m saying is, if a guy is interested in me, and he’s my type of guy - then he won’t sit back and quietly wait for me to approach him.

I understand. However, I am saying that in everyday life (not just club atmospheres) you encounter good men everyday. Some are just working and doing what they are supposed to do.

We still use precaution and have an alarm, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t get robbed. If you take all precautions, you can still get hurt by a person with bad intentions. Common sense and precautions are still needed.

My point is it doesn’t hurt.

Also it does give a guy with bad intentions the wrong idea

We have a saying in our house…”Locks keep honest people honest”. That means that people who really have bad intentions won’t let anything stop them.

I think that applies here. People who have bad intentions will do what it takes to get where they want.

By MELO

October 7, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

i was hit on by the nurse taking my blood pressure and temp readings at the doc.She gave me comps on my tie,saying it was nice and looked executive,then to what do u do?? blah blah.She was ok physically and i guess makes good cheese and i guess under those circumstances,u give her a complimentary jab back in thanks and enquiries.I just did not take the bait.See MLL, I let some real nice ones slip by me….but i left there feeling good anyway!!

By chakra7

October 7, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

So ladies… what do you do if a guy does spark up a conversation and you enjoy his company, yet he does not go for the digits? Do you let him walk away or remind him that he forgot something?

In this case, I’d give him my number.

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

Rell LOL, you reminded me of one of my favorite situations… I personally do not use the ” you look familiar” card unless I really think I know the person.. I don’t know how many times I have approached a chick like that and she gives me the gas face until I start to rattle off facts about her…the faces you get from doing this are priceless…

Why does it always have to be assumed that any conversation a guy has is about trying to holla?

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

I think that applies here. People who have bad intentions will do what it takes to get where they want.

Yes and no. You might not ever steal a wallet, but if it’s just lying there in the street, you might take advantage.

Beware of the easy pray.

By MELO

October 7, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

is always based on sex….and degrading women u have a tender heart than most.Im a st8 shooter,if u dnt feel what i post,for the most part,learn to skip over…

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

Yeah, after I posted that I said to myself she probably has something lined up already.

By Foots

October 7, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

Amazon I just went to Atlanta Fish Market. The service was good and the food was excellent. It’s a little loud in there, but you can still have a conversation. For some reason, the first time I went there a few years back, the service was terrible, but this experience made up for it. You can get appetizers, drinks, entree and dessert for your $200. I still haven’t been to Chops or Kyma, I need to get there.

I agree, it’s tough to go to Fogo de Chao unless you can REALLY eat.

On topic I would rather be approached. In my experience, the times where men have approached me resulted in much more interest. The dude may have been flattered if I approached, but it never went past “GO”. I may flirt a little if I like what I see, but now, that’s about it. He can take it from there if he likes what he sees too.

I know that the majority of men are good about going after what they want. It’s a quality that I’m attracted to. So I know that if he wants me, he’ll make a move. If he doesn’t, then next…

I read somewhere recently (and I wish I could find it), that men are emotionally better suited for the chase, as they don’t analyze like many women with the “I wonder if she really likes me, I wonder if she’s really interested or just being nice/didn’t want to say no”. I’ll see if I can find it when I get home.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

@ARed

So the guy you want:

Has to chase you…

Has to “have his life together” meaning that he can’t have a single issue outside of talking to you going on at the moment he approaches…

Has to be well meaning, descriptive, and state his intent directly…

Am I missing anything?

Man, you must run ole boy to death…he had to do soo much to get you…he’s gotta be whipped…

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

AR

If you like steak, I highly recommend Stoney River. I love bone-in (cowboy) ribeye. There is one at Cumberland Mall.

Now , they aren’t cheap either but they are pretty darn good.

By MLL

October 7, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this

Good suggestion melo and you also do like wise…..

By RELL - 10/15/72

October 7, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

@ared…if you really knew me…thats the norm for me….i am not a scary dude and i approach women all the time…even if i just want to tell them how nice they look…i mean really, folks steady sticking 10 on a very simple human function of comminucation…too many dayum rules

By Foots

October 7, 2008 12:29 PM | Link to this

Leon So ladies… what do you do if a guy does spark up a conversation and you enjoy his company, yet he does not go for the digits?

When I was in my early 20s, I’d offer the number. Now that I’m in my early 30s, I take the conversation for what it was, conversation, and thank him for his company. If he wanted to continue the conversation, he’d find a way to do so. If he doesn’t ask, I don’t offer. Nothing lost, especially if it was cool conversation.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 12:32 PM | Link to this

@ARed

That last shot was wrong, I apologize.

@Rell

But what to do when the girl you’re attracted to (out of the group is looking) but you know you’re being sized up by the group in general?

I mean, her girls are looking too, and from my perspective, look on…

Or the old line of take a picture..

By MELO

October 7, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

i will comment on urs MLL if i feel like…..its a public blog.

By What's Up With That?

October 7, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

Good point, Foots, good point!

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

Dan, there you go putting 20 on 10 again. I said NOTHING of the sort.

And a word to the wise, you should refrain from commenting on “ole boy” he hasn’t done a thing to you. And you don’t know him in the least! He just happens to be a real man that doesn’t need to be “ran.” But one thing thing he DID do was put on his big boy draws and handle his business in getting to know me! You couldn’t can learn a thing or two from him. Watch yourself.

By Leon Phelps

October 7, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this

Foots SO if it wasn’t good conversation then he should have gotten your # just for wasting your time?? LoL ( I am only kidding…. unless you gonna do it)

By Foots

October 7, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

Good place to get approached What is it about the parking lot of Publix on Hammond Drive??? Every time I go over there, some dude says something. If this don’t work out, I’m posting up at Publix.

I think that the most creative way that I was approached was a letter in my mailbox. Dude was a friend of my neighbor, had seen me come home one day, and I guess he didn’t feel comfortable ringing my doorbell. He gave me some info about himself and his phone number. I asked my neighbor about him and then I called.

I think that the best approach I did, I didn’t even want the guy, I just wanted to let him know that he was FINE AS HELLZ. We were at a college party, and I had a HUGE crush on this dude. I walked up to him and his boys after the party and laid it out to him. Then I turned and walked off. He was too much of a player for me to be with and I didn’t desire to be a part of his harem, so when he called out “Wait, what’s your name?”, I was like “You don’t worry about that. You just fine as hellz!” LOL! We actually became cool after that.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

That last shot was wrong, I apologize

Dan, the whole thing was wrong, but not like I expected much better from you anyway. C’est la vie.

By RELL - 10/15/72

October 7, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

@DAN…you dont do anything…what you do is simply continue to show your value and back up what you say….you still focus on what you came for..but you include everyone in your interactions with the women….i mean why freak out…i have had that happen and what happens is everyone has fun because we all really cool and i was a nice interruptions from the normal stares…i mean some dudes act like they in the zoo when they see a group of pretty women..and just because she says no once or i get “clowned” does not define my existance as a man…i mean come on are we adults here…thats happen before but at least one came over to say they were hard on you but i thought that was kinda of cut..what was your name again…MEN STOP BEING SO DAYUM SCARY!!!!

By Dan

October 7, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

@ARed

I offered a sincere apology, and I’m done with it.

As far as “big boy draws” good for him. If he’s willing and able to do the job, congratulations to him and I wish you both luck in life and love.

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

Dan I have to agree with ARed on this one in that if a guy is so caught up in his personal issues that he doesn’t have it in him to approach me, then I really don’t feel like the timing is right. If my smile across the room doesn’t snap him out of it, then he’s too deep at that time. Or if we cross paths and I smile and say hello - and he stays in his mood - then it’s not the right time.

Overall - I just feel that if a dude wants me, he’ll let it be known. If it’s bad timing then it wasn’t meant to be. Just like you guys talk about women mean-mugging, how you don’t want to approach. In my opinion if a woman is walking around with a mean mug - then it may not be the time to approach.

By The Truth

October 7, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

Sexycool too funny. LMAO

Huddle up old fashioned ladies. It’s ok to strike up a convo with someone you’re interested in. He won’t think you’re desperate, unless you’re desperate.

Off topic: I just got back form the px and even their prices are going up. My next purchase will be a black ski mask. Who’s with me on a supermarket break-in?

By Foots

October 7, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

Leon I have the type of face you can read VERY easily. ANYtime it’s not good conversation, whoever I’m talking to will know. Then hopefully, they’ll stop making my ears bleed. LOL

Truthfully, the only conversation that’s a waste of time is drunk conversation. Drunk dudes get the gas face. And not the “I smell gas” face, but the pull up to the gas station “WTF!! They want $4.59 for regular gas?” face. LMAO!

By chakra7

October 7, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

When I was in my early 20s, I’d offer the number. Now that I’m in my early 30s, I take the conversation for what it was, conversation, and thank him for his company. If he wanted to continue the conversation, he’d find a way to do so.

I’m in my mid-30s, and if a guy seems interested and we had an interesting convo, I don’t mind extending my number. He can choose to call or not. If it’s decent conversation, which is hard to come by, I wouldn’t mind talking to him again. Who knows, he may turn into a lifelong friend or networking contact - you never know.

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 7, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

What it do folks…

Confident women approach men and if there is a connection, they ask them out on dates!

The problem here is that there are not a lot of confident women who are confident outside of their comfort zone!

The one thing that I have noticed over the years is that the majority of women out there like to control the situation and when they are out of their element ( i.e. new social spot, new man, new job, new situation ) they resort to a safe spot ( resort back to the little girl in them ) and are afraid to take risks!

MEN and I stress MEN love confident women who are not afraid to take risks and step up to the plate.

It is in my opinion that if women took more risks and stepped outside of their comfort zone more, that they would see better results in the dating experiences.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

i mean really, folks steady sticking 10 on a very simple human function of comminucation

Well, Rell, there are some very weak brothas in this world. Each generation is just more coddled and gassed up for no damn reason than the next.

PG, as always, thanks for the suggestions.

Foots, thank you as well. You know I’m on your page girl!

Like I said, it all starts somewhere. And it stopped when men stopped handling their responsibilities. These women asking guys out is just one aspect of it.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this

What is it about the parking lot of Publix on Hammond Drive??? Every time I go over there, some dude says something. If this don’t work out, I’m posting up at Publix

Foots, my girl swears by Whole Foods on Friday nights. Ones in the burbs though. Apperently the ones in the city then mens are checking for other mens. LOL

By Foots

October 7, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this

Oh yeah, I was at Stats in May (which is a dayum good place to go be surrounded by nice looking dudes) chilling with my girls and this really tall dude standing behindmy chair asked to see my menu. So whenever I see really tall dudes, I ask about their height. I stood up to measure him against me, even took off my 4” heels to get a better estimate (Amazon, he’s 6’5”). LOL

Needless to say, we ended up having a good conversation, and he asked for my number and gave me his card. He’s a good contractor, he put up my outdoor flood lights for about $200 less than the other estimates I received, so if you need a referral, let me know…

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

My next purchase will be a black ski mask. Who’s with me on a supermarket break-in?

Truth, you know I’m the Bonnie to your Clyde. Let’s do this! ;-) LOL

By Foots

October 7, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

chakra if a guy seems interested and we had an interesting convo, I don’t mind extending my number.

See that word “seems” is my sticking point. I’d rather not offer my number to a guy who “seems/may be” interested, I’d rather exchange numbers with a guy who has let me know that he is interested. Everybody has their own POV on that, based on what makes them most comfortable.

But I’m good for striking up a conversation. I went to Straits last month and sat next to a dude at the bar while I was waiting on my friends to get there. He was cute. I asked him what was good there and we talked about the menu. We got so cool that the dude offered me one of his Kung Pao lollipops. He didn’t ask for my number, he wasn’t interested in that way. I guess it would have been wrong for me to take anyway. I thanked dude for letting me eat his food, he said no problem, I went on upstairs with my party. Good conversation, I had an appetizer and nothing was lost.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

So whenever I see really tall dudes, I ask about their height.

Foots, you took my line! Though they often ask me first.

I went to Stats for MNF. Crowd was full of business men from the local hotels. No winners. I did give the eye to one handsome tall guy, but then I spotted his wedding band. Whoops!

You keep that card for you dear friend Amazon, just in case, lol.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

@Rell

You keep refferring to me as being scary…my be a little projection there buddy

I don’t approach women in packs, on phones, etc. becuase simply becuase you’re staring at me, doesn’t a) mean I have time to talk to you; b) want to make the time; and c) have the desire to talk to you.

A pretty face, a nice body, doesn’t sway me. Of all your talk, Rell, of proffering advice, in the end you don’t know how I get, what/who I get.

My point is, in an interaction, in that moment, if the woman doesn’t have the temerity to speak her mind about something she may obviously want….I don’t want her.

A woman to me is more than the sum of her physical attributes, in order for me to spend time with her, she has to be unique in some way that attracts me beyond the physical.

So, Rell, you can keep your advice for the youngsters that need it or ask for it, I know what I want in a woman and know how to assess each woman’s qualification’s.

Thank you

@ARed

Deese

By Brian

October 7, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

Lol, This is a pretty good topic,, If it hasn’t changed already.. I have been approached a good number of times… Some were kool I guess, and some were terrible, Its just funny to see the shoe on the other foot… Lol they don’t make eye contact,, very nervous.. Fellas remember in high school, when you first started asking girls out.. No game… I tell women all the time,, There’s nothing wrong with asking us out.. You just can’t talk about sex for the first week or so… So that we don’t get it confused…

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 1:14 PM | Link to this

Foots, PG and all, the Buckhead Life Group is having their own restaurant week for the next two weeks. October 5-10 and October 12-17. All their restaurants are included.

Three course meals for $29. And the menus look devine.

http://www.buckheadrestaurants.com/restaurantweek.html

By chakra7

October 7, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this

Foots I don’t know See that word “seems” is my sticking point. My mindset at the time is I enjoy the conversation and yeah, he could be a really good conversationalist, or just really friendly or a big flirt. But if all I’m looking for is good conversation with the option to get to know you (him) at my choosing, I don’t have to know w/o fail that he is interested in a potential relationship, dating etc. at that moment. At that point, I don’t know what his angle is; all I know is I like the conversation, I like him generally (as a person, that is) so based on that, I can extend my number. It’s totally not conditional on whatever he’s into; heck, I might find I’m not really into him anyway. Giving a number, IMO, is harmless if you take it for just that.

But I see what you’re saying; you want something more firm to go on - it is relative.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this

Dan, so much for you being “done.”

I hope “deese” gets bitten. Grow up.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this

@Longtime Lurker

That post was abosolutely correct.

What I want in a mate (and that’s what I’m looking for) is a woman that is confident, secure in herself, and independently capable of handling her own business. That doesn’t mean that she’s a card carrying “independent woman” is like my adjunct to Rell’s post the other day about the difference between the old independent woman…and the mess out there right now.

I want a woman to add value to my life and me to hers. That way, it’s a mutual beneficial relationship as opposed to one that isn’t.

If Ne-Yo can sing about his “boss lady” and everyone get’s it, how hard is it to understand that some men out there don’t want some shy, demour, accomodating chick. He want’s a boss like he is.

That’s how you start a successful life and a business. And it don’t make either party weak…but collectively much stronger.

Dag I hate having to type common sense isht..

By RELL - 10/15/72

October 7, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

@DAN…you dont do anything…what you do is simply continue to show your value and back up what you say….you still focus on what you came for..but you include everyone in your interactions with the women….i mean why freak out…i have had that happen and what happens is everyone has fun because we all really cool and i was a nice interruptions from the normal stares…i mean some dudes act like they in the zoo when they see a group of pretty women..and just because she says no once or i get “clowned” does not define my existance as a man…i mean come on are we adults here…thats happen before but at least one came over to say they were hard on you but i thought that was kinda of cut..what was your name again…MEN STOP BEING SO DAYUM SCARY!!!!

By Dan

October 7, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

Rubbed

Carress

Suckled

Fondled

but Deese have never been bitten.

And shame on you for suggesting it.

By Foots

October 7, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

Dan We actually feel the same way, but with a few word changes:

My point is, in an interaction, in that moment, if the man doesn’t have the temerity to speak his mind about something he may obviously want….I don’t want him.

You actually put that very well. It doesn’t get more common sense than that when talking about individual preferences.

By Chink

October 7, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this

LL

It has nothing to with confidence. It is about who is going to lead. And I prefer a man to lead yes even in the beginning!

Ya’ll men always talking about we too independent but it seems you get to choose what we should in dependent in? Sorry you don’t.

Man Up.

Exactly what risk are you talking about…? I hope you don’t equate getting a phone number to taking a risk? Thats really sad.

By Foots

October 7, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this

Dan But what to do when the girl you’re attracted to (out of the group is looking) but you know you’re being sized up by the group in general?

Why did you get mad with Rell (So, Rell, you can keep your advice for the youngsters that need it or ask for it) when he answered your question? You did ask him what to do in the post above, and he was letting you know. Just sayin’…

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this

Dan if that’s what you want - then you should have no problem going after it.

Yes, it’s all common sense. Just because I choose not to approach men doesn’t mean I’m not confident.

It is my desire to add value to my mate’s life and to help him reach his destiny. In order for me to latch on to his vision he must first have one. He must know where he’s going, what he wants and not afraid to go after what it - and that includes me. So it’s more than him approaching me, I look at how he deals with me and the rest of the things in life.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

but Deese have never been bitten.

Well, hopefully there’s a first time for everything.

It has nothing to with confidence. It is about who is going to lead. And I prefer a man to lead yes even in the beginning!

Chink, precisely. And some women are simply traditionalists. They can have all the confidence in the world but that won’t change how they feel on matters like these.

By Chink

October 7, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

^5 Tazzee I Agree

By mqew

October 7, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

OK I’m back… what I miss? I just made some beef enchiladas. mm mmm Good!

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this

okay….um, real talk….

we are really just talking about a possible interaction with a stranger who happened across your path who you may share a brief physical connection or an interesting converstaion with and either of you, both of you or neither of you is interested in taking it any further…

it’s like someone said earlier…things that are supposed to happen will…

whomever initiates a further connection…it really doesn’t matter…

if nothing further comes from a brief meeting or glances across a room or drinks bought…then so be it…

the world will continue to spend on its axis…the moon will still pull the tides and we will still be talking about this ish next week…

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this

You did ask him what to do in the post above, and he was letting you know. Just sayin’

Foots, I was thinking the same darn thing! Good to see it wasn’t just me.

Common sense, indeed LOL

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

mqew I’ll fantasize that my all-veggie lunch was replaced by your beef enchiladas. mmm good!

By Dan

October 7, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

Does stating that the cloud is blue, mean that the clouds are not white?

I haven’t asserted in my posts that the woman that does not approach is not confident, it’s my preference for her to express that confidence in her approach.

@Foots

I’m not mad at Rell. I simply don’t appreciate his insiuation that becuase I might vacillate between the many options of women within a particular group.

@Tazz

Well stated. I’m not suggesting that not approaching a man is a bad thing. It’s like you said about preferences. I like a woman to express that self-confidence not quietly, but openly and to the world. Shoot, I prefer arrogant women. Sure we gone butt heads, but coming to an understanding in that relationship, makes the bad times worth while.

@ARed

Again, Deese (To all your subsequent post referencing anything I may have said).

In fact, on the many occasions that you and I disagree about life, love, the pursuit of happyness….

Consider that Deese the beginning of my reply, whether stated or not.

By RELL - 10/15/72

October 7, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this

@dan..ok boss do you….peace and luv

By MELO

October 7, 2008 1:55 PM | Link to this

do when the girl you’re attracted to (out of the group is looking) but you know you’re being sized up by the group in general? Dan AND

mean some dudes act like they in the zoo when they see a group of pretty women RELL

Rell called out Dan on his Zoo and irrational behavior..Dan starts talking to this fine azz lady and abandones her,confused, and darts to talk to this other bow legged fine sister And al the while,Rell was watching him,Why did you get mad with Rell so he lashes out at Rell for stalking him and busting his moves,the way u do when ure caught with ur hand in the cooker jar….

By Brian

October 7, 2008 1:56 PM | Link to this

I think women hold on to that slogan “Im a traditionalists”.. Because they are.. I think saying cowards is a little harsh, but just simply to scared to be rejected… Times are hard,, and this is a new age… I think women need to take their own advice for once and woman up… Beleive it or not Im not on attack mode 24x7… By taking a chance u never know. That could get you the greatest thing you were not expecting..

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

Consider that Deese the beginning of my reply

No thanks. I still hope they get bitten til there’s blood.

By mqew

October 7, 2008 1:59 PM | Link to this

Dammmmmnnnnn Suzzane won the position as Diddy’s assistant… I knew she was the best candidate from the beginning ;-)

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 7, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this

@Chink This where the problem lies! Approaching or showing interest in a man in a mature, adult manner has nothing to do with leading! That will come later.

I feel that if a woman goes after what she wants, is a very admireable and appreciative trait! It shows she has real character, style and substance.

Believe it or not, a woman showing that she is a go-getter and is not affaid to go against the norm can sometimes change the tone and/or direction of the possible relationship.

Again, MEN want substance and most of all a woman who has a backbone and is not affraid to fight for what she wants, including the RIGHT man.

I hate timid broads..period! If you do not have the gall to step to me, why should I step to you!

Everything you expect me to do, you should be able to do for me, so with that said, I doubt very seriously you would deal with a timid dude, so what should I deal with a timid broad?

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

I think women hold on to that slogan “Im a traditionalists”.. Because they are..

Brian, as a self proclaimed tradionalist, that’s just what it is. I’ve struck up several converstations with men. Most folks in social settings are willing and able. But I had a steadfast belief that the hunt is a man’s job. Period. I can do your job, but I shouldn’t have to.

Ultimately, everyone will make the best decision for them. Sticking to my convictions is more important than an guy thinking I lack confidence just because I didn’t ask for his number.

By Wise Diva

October 7, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

hey guys! I’ve been reading along while getting some work done on a big project, appreciate all the interesting comments! So many different perspectives, as always, everyone has their own style.

Brian said There’s nothing wrong with asking us out.. You just can’t talk about sex for the first week or so… So that we don’t get it confused

I’ve always thought this too, nice to see a guy point this out though.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

@Chink

Getting a phone number is not taking a risk at all.

It’s a choice that one makes.

About being independent…some men love it that you handle your own, but don’t like that you brandish your independence as a shield or weapon. For these men being independent and stating it constantly is like getting a “perfect attendance award” in school; nice but redundant.

As for the other men that have problems with it, while I won’t generalize, that speaks more to their overall insecurities than anything.

By Blow ME...HI HATERS!!

October 7, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

ATTENTION

Don’t forget about REALHOUSEWIVES OF ATL on BRAVO @ 9. You know ladies we WILL have tons to talk about…….lol

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 7, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this

@Chink This where the problem lies! Approaching or showing interest in a man in a mature, adult manner has nothing to do with leading! That will come later.

I feel that if a woman goes after what she wants, it is a very admireable and appreciative trait! It shows she has real character, style and substance.

Believe it or not, a woman showing that she is a go-getter and is not affaid to go against the norm can sometimes change the tone and/or direction of the possible relationship.

Again, MEN want substance and most of all a woman who has a backbone and is not affraid to fight for what she wants, including the RIGHT man.

I hate timid broads..period! If you do not have the gall to step to me, why should I step to you!

Everything you expect me to do, you should be able to do for me, so with that said, I doubt very seriously you would deal with a timid dude, so what should I deal with a timid broad?

By Tony

October 7, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this

This Lady came straight and ask me out on a date,and I loved every minute of,Then she me to a football game with her and I loved that also, at first It was a joke to me,and I used to TELL MY BOYS ABOUT HOW THIS LADY KEEP ASKING ME OUT. But I fell In love with her and I ask her to married me 22yrs. ago and now I ask her out every weekend. I DON’T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH ASKING A MAN OUT, SOME MEN REALLY GO FOR IT.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

@Brian

If you haven’t been rejected by the time you’re 18, consider yourself fortunate. But as with any other choice you make in life, there are consequences to one’s actions. Subsequently, if you approach a woman and get rejected, I offer this advice…remember that’s it’s her loss and keep it pushing on to the next one (for me it’d be her friend).

@Longtime Lurker

Great point. For every “Destiny-Child-singing-independent-azz” woman, it baffles me that they can’t add up the fact that in your independence, you are freed from the traditional role of “Man chase Woman”.

It would seem the logical extension of that thought process.

And in reference to my earlier post, I meant:

If the sky is blue, does that mean that the clouds are not white?

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

If you do not have the gall to step to me, why should I step to you!

smh

By Wise Diva

October 7, 2008 2:15 PM | Link to this

aww Tony, that’s fantastic! thanks for sharing that with us. You get MAJOR props for asking your wife out, ahh, love it! I bet she spoils you right back :)

By MELO

October 7, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this

">http://www.atlah.org/broadcast/ndnr09-03-08.html>

listen to this negroe pastor folks…

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 7, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this

@Dan Chicks love to apply logic and direction when it is to their advantage!

What most of them don’t realize is that depending how they handle us in the first 30 min. determines how we will handle our biz with them in the next 30 days or more!

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this

Lurker, the women who are claiming “traditionalism” are not the ones who are “in your face” with flaunting their independence.

Let’s keep the discussion in context please.

By MLL

October 7, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

Sometimes you have to be bold and go for the gusto…some ppl are too shy…imagine entering a filled with shy ppl….everybody scared to make the first move…nothing ventured nothing gained

melo whatever make you happy :)

By Chink

October 7, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

LL

Contrary to your belief I dont think we are equal.. male and female. So I dont expect a man to do what a woman does and I am not going to do what I think a man does.

I would feel unnatural to go after a guy because its Not Me! There is only so much I will do…but eventually he is going to have to take the reigns if not he is not the one.

By The Truth

October 7, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

Melo what an idiot. Just a shame.

Bonnie aka Ared you know I’m the Bonnie to your Clyde. Let’s do this! ;-) Cool, but if we get caught you gotta keep those guys off me. They’re real hard on a light skinned cat in the pokie. LOL

By For Real

October 7, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

Man talk about over analyzing… I still don’t get how who initiates the convo has all of these underlying meanings. Dayummm two people just met one another. Chink/Ared talking about if they initiate the convo then somehow they will end up leading in a relationship that doesn’t exist yet. Tazee is saying somehow she will not be able to add value to her mate’s life and to help him reach his destiny because she initiated the convo. WTF!!!! YOU JUST MET A STRANGER!!!!

Dayummmm women are some irrational people and the scary thing is yall take what you believe as gospel. God never does anything the exact way twice.

Doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result each time is the definition of insanity.

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

since the conversation seems to be taking this direction…single sexycool would initiate a conversation with a guy…maybe even offer her number…but she would not be pursuing a dude…she would, however, respond to being pursued…

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 7, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

Housewives of Atlanta is a train wreck! I already saw the first show.

I ran into Sheree at a recent event and chopped it up with her, but was not all that impressed with her honestly and definitely would not date her, but I will say she is fine as all get out, definitely would not kick her out of bed though!

I think she just killed her future dating options when she proclaimed on the show she wanted seven figures from her ex-Bob Whitfield ( ex falcon ).Cat’s she will run into now will only use her for target practice and protect the assets!

All of the chicks came off as gold diggers in my opinion.

As a native of the “A” overall I was disappointed in how the ladies portrayed black women in the “A” and my town as a whole.

There is an entirely different dynamic to Atlanta than what is shown in this show, but hey, I know they wanted to make it spicey fot T.V. but dang! Ne Ne is a real problem!

By mqew

October 7, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

I’m caught up…

Believe it or not, a woman showing that she is a go-getter and is not affaid to go against the norm can sometimes change the tone and/or direction of the possible relationship. - LL

Change the tone of a possible relationship? WTH would I want to do that to somethin that is not????

Thanks Ared for stickin to the point ;-)

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

Cool, but if we get caught you gotta keep those guys off me. They’re real hard on a light skinned cat in the pokie. LOL

LOL. You are a light bright. We might need to get you some sun before our excursion.

But, if we do get caught I’m going down with the ship for you baby! I’m just that ryde or die!

Chink, loving your 2:35. At the end of the day, it’s good to stick to our guns. Because we’ll only get a certain type of guy to begin with. And the girls who are comfortable with approaching, they’ll get what they want too.

So the ship can pass thru the night. LOL

By Chink

October 7, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

Dan

Bull Crap

I did not choose to be independent! I have no choice. Should I be homeless since I have no man to support me?? Don’t pay my bills since I don’t have a man?

I am just being responsible. That word independent just being tossed around…I was made to be with a man.

Definition of Independent

not dependent; not depending or contingent upon something else for existence, operation, etc.

not relying on another or others for aid or support.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this

Chink/Ared talking about if they initiate the convo then somehow they will end up leading in a relationship that doesn’t exist yet.

For Real - No ARed is not. The question is if it upsets the “natuaral order” of things and it’s of my opinion that it is.

I’ve also said that conversation can be JUST THAT, and that I will strike up a conversation with just about anyone. I guess you missed that part in attempted to make your invalid point.

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 7, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

Too many comments to reply to but I will say this….

When MEN tell you the real, believe what they say and don’t question it!

Case closed!

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this

*… your independence, you are freed from the traditional role of “Man chase Woman”.

It would seem the logical extension of that thought process* I agree w/this. For me it doesn’t matter who approaches who first, but it does matter who will lead later on!

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

I did not choose to be independent! I have no choice. Should I be homeless since I have no man to support me?? Don’t pay my bills since I don’t have a man?

I am just being responsible. That word independent just being tossed around…I was made to be with a man.

Chink for President. LOL. Amen sister. I celebrate having my stuff together. I’m proud of who I am and what I accomplished. My eye is on that prize tho! LOL

By Chink

October 7, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

For Real

I dont know about you but whomever I date has to be qualified and that in itself will not be easy.

By the way I will say hi first, I might even say thats a nice shirt….But I am not going to be like hey I saw you across the way and I would like to get to know you by the way my name is…nope.

By Blow ME...HI HATERS!!

October 7, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

Ared…Come on does that text reaad fimilar..Lurker that is….It’s SJ3000 Look at his last post. I can tell they way he writes.

I smell rat DROPPINGS….Its’ You SJ3000 ….you are Longtime Lurker YOUR COVER IS BLOWN!! Come out from under that sheet!!! CASPER!!! LOL!

By mqew

October 7, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

I’ve also said that conversation can be JUST THAT, and that I will strike up a conversation with just about anyone. I guess you missed that part in attempted to make your invalid point.

I HAD TO BOLD THAT SINCE I THINK ALOT MISSED THAT POINT FROM THE BEGINNING ;-)

By Brian

October 7, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

@Amazon, ur 2:04 post.. I just don’t beleive that.. First you guys want us to be well round.. Then you want us to bang our chest and scream “ME MAN YOU WOMAN, COME”.. And then get mad when we can’t turn off that hunting instinct.. The greates thing since sliced bread, could be standing right there in your face… But because of your “convictions” you are like naw, Im good… It almost sounds like the, Im pretty and should be adored complex.. Even though it would be a good look for you. You are willing to pass up and not lift a finger.. But I won’t knock it.. We just have different views.. Any way peace ya’ll

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

For Real I’m just going to LOL at your comment, because I really don’t believe you’re serious in that little summation….

By Foots

October 7, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

LL I hate timid broads..period! If you do not have the gall to step to me, why should I step to you!

Did anyone actually say that they would rather not approach men because they were afraid to? If not, what does confidence or shyness have to do with the topic? Some women would rather be approached, some men would rather be approached. Isn’t it about preference?

By Dan

October 7, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

@Chink

Believe it or not, once you’re 18, you’re an adult.

Once you leave your parents home, you’re supposedly independent.

And believe it or not, Millions of men and women do it every day and don’t complain about it, don’t whine about it, it just is what it is.

As for the “independent woman” syndrome - what I referring to is the “I don’t need no man, I got my own [insert list here]”.

I, and guys like me, don’t have a problem with you having [insert list here]. What we would like to be acknowledge in both tonality and forbearence is that while you do not need a man to live life in the way you choose…you recognize the value of having a man in your life to share occasions and your life with.

If you’re not one of these ^^ women, then I offer my apology if in any way you thought that I was reffering to you.

If you are, the above applies.

@SexyCool

Dan has a question: are you now/ or will you soon be single in referring to your 2:41pm post?

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

When MEN tell you the real, believe what they say and don’t question it!

LOL. Longtime Lurker, on this topic, the OPINIONS vary from one side of the spectrum of the other. No one man’s opinion on this particular topic is more valid than someone elses unless, of course, a blogger wants to get with a specific blogger. Then they most certainly believe what that person says.

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 7, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

@Blow ME… Sorry, I am not SJ3 Thou! We write totally different! That dude has been M.I.A for a minute, so has agwitt and a few others.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 3:08 PM | Link to this

First you guys want us to be well round.. Then you want us to bang our chest and scream “ME MAN YOU WOMAN, COME”.. And then get mad when we can’t turn off that hunting instinct..

Brain, you’ve gotta kill that “you guys” talk. You just spoke a generalization that’s not applicable to me and the type of women I’m speaking of.

There are the tradionalists, the agressors, the gold diggers, etc. You’re lumping all of us together with that “you guys.”

By the way, the traditionalists are a dying breed anyway, so I know that you don’t encounter those type of women on a daily.

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

dan…am not at present…coming days/weeks/months…welllllll……..we’ll see….i’m just taking it a day at a time right now…

By Foots

October 7, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this

LL When MEN tell you the real, believe what they say and don’t question it!

Both abc and melo are men, with very different opinions about the topic than you and others. Are you saying that your opinion is what’s real and theirs is fake?

By RELL - 10/15/72

October 7, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this

I still cant believe the brahs are confused…if you attract the women she will come to you without all the fuss or at least make your path easier than the rest…remember attraction is a choice…

By Daddy K

October 7, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

This discussion shows the difference in attitude between a woman who wants a relationship, one who is in search of excitement from being pursued and one who is in hunt for commitment from a man.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

…a blogger wants to get with a specific blogger. Then they most certainly believe what that person says.

Assuming of course that the former is in actuality true…

Even then, it would be worth getting to know the person outside the blog, rather than the persona of the blog.

I’ve found my offline interaction (most of them) to be quite interesting, refreshing, and stimulating.

So much so, that I’m seriously considering exploring something other than this venue…

@SexyCool

Keep me posted then about 3 months later…. holla at cha boy!

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 7, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

@Foots I would rather not go to work!

I would rather not have to pay my mortgage!

I would rather not pay for any dates I go on, but I do these things because I have to! Same goes for dating! You do what you need to do to win!

What many of you females don’t understand or don’t comprehend is that there are more of you than us, so if every woman sits back and waits for a dude to approach, you will never get in the game!

The same women all want the same five dudes in most cases. If you sit back and wait,you might get the scraps!

Do you sit back and wait for a job to come knocking on your door? Do you sit back and wait for some one to give you a loan for a house or a car? Do you sit back and wait for someone to bring you something to eat?

Everything in you life worth having you have had to go get it, so why should dating be any different?

By Chink

October 7, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

Dan

Uh what? You the one who said For every “Destiny-Child-singing-independent-azz” woman, it baffles me that they can’t add up the fact that in your independence, you are freed from the traditional role of “Man chase Woman”.

That was my reply..I know what an adult is.

I think where you have it messed up is by calling it a chase…it should not seem like a game of cat and mouse.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

@DK

What this conversation shows is that there are two types of men: those that demand respect, and those that command respect (and actually know the difference).

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

Assuming of course that the former is in actuality true…

Even then, it would be worth getting to know the person outside the blog, rather than the persona of the blog.

I mean, duh. Once again, the point seemed to be missed by you Dan.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

Assuming of course that the former is in actuality true…

Even then, it would be worth getting to know the person outside the blog, rather than the persona of the blog.

I mean, duh. Once again, the point seemed to be missed by you Dan.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

@Longtime Lurker

Tell ‘em why you mad son!

By MELO

October 7, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

SexyCool i dont like the vibe u projecting..is there something i can do to help,sincerely?

By MELO

October 7, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

remember attraction is a choice nah Rell,i think its more of a reflex.If she is good and u feeling her,u cant really control what u feel when u see her or think about her…or can u??

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

*…If you sit back and wait,you might get the scraps! There’s a saying in the carribean——> Pick, pick, pick, pick shyt!

By Dan

October 7, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this

@Chink

Weren’t you the one that stated that you like to be courted?

In the parlayance of the blog: courted= chased= at it= on the hunt= hunters= hunted= prey= etc.

See?

By Foots

October 7, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this

LL Actually, if you read above, I have had someone basically approach me at home in the past. I get credit card offers in the mail too, I don’t go looking for them.

When I tell you that I am having trouble meeting men, maybe that will be the time that I find it necessary to start throwing my number in men’s faces, though they don’t ask for it. I can show interest, I can have a conversation, I can be engaging, but at the end of the conversation, if there isn’t a spark from him, there is no fire. I will not force it. Does that mean I have no confidence and that I don’t go after what I want? No. It just means that I THOROUGHLY believe that the man I truly want will want me too, enough to ask for my dayum number.

Why does it matter to you that I tend to like men who go after what they want? It doesn’t bother me that you tend to like women who push up on you.

By MELO

October 7, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this

those that demand respect, and those that command respect (and actually know the difference 1st of all, i think that conclsn is flawed..2nd i guess u putting urself in the category of the respected ones,meaning u commanding respecting in their eyes..so much self promo here.

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 7, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

@Foots On your 3:11, my comment was directed to what the majority of these dudes on this blog are preechin erry day!

Y’all question our thought process on the regular, then wonder why ish don’t work out in your favor.

You gettin “real talk” here for free erry day, with no strings, yet you guys continue to run into a wall when it comes down to understanding the male thought process!

I have been on this blog 3 1/2 years and I still see that many chicks still don’t have a clue!

Over 4 thousand posts later and chicks are still questioning the thought process…( SHAKING MY HEAD ).

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

What many of you females don’t understand or don’t comprehend is that there are more of you than us, so if every woman sits back and waits for a dude to approach, you will never get in the game!

Not true. Many of us are in the game and it’s working just fine for us. What you are telling women is that if they don’t pursue, they won’t date and that’s simply not true.

SOME men, prefer to approach. Some men don’t mind the girl who ISN’T like the 5 other thirsty chicks clamoring after the same man.

In addition, just because 5 women are chasing after a man, doesn’t mean he’d be atracted or compatable with any of them.

You seem to be posting with much gusto. Is there something you’d like to share with the class?

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

dan…you just made me laugh out loud with your 317 and your 325…i’ll keep you posted…

of course…we can always just chop it up as friends off blog…cscfromajc@yahoo.com

By Wise Diva

October 7, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

Dan said,What this conversation shows is that there are two types of men: those that demand respect, and those that command respect (and actually know the difference)

ok I am recruiting you for day 2 of Men’s week, LOL right after The Truth drops his gems. Thanks!

By Chink

October 7, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

LL

I am not trying to get in the game. Are you the one who keeps bringing up this ratio 10/1 statistic?

Newsflash!

Not all females care for it. Those scare tactics dont work for me.

what you consider scraps.. could be someone elses treasure :)

Just be happy some females do approach and the ones who dont approach you ..u might have to get up and make yourself known…don’t worry about us females we will be aiiight!

We put in a lot of work too our part isnt a ride in the park.

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 7, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

I am waving the white flag! Do you, but don’t ask for our feedback when things don’t work out for ya!

Remember this, getting a man is the easy part, keeping him and getting him to marry yo azz is the prize!

Many chicks meet boys and men everyday, but fewer and fewer every year are making it to the alter!

By MELO

October 7, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this

so if every woman sits back and waits for a dude to approach, you will never get in the game! i find the aggressive approach method more with the 40 + crew than with the yunger females,the reason is obvious i think,slimmer pickings.I really dont recommend the agressive approach for those in their 30sme, as long as u on point,neat,dress urself good and u carry urself with respect and dignity.There are enough men out there as long as u move in right places and hangout.Mind u,not every man that approaches is wrth it anyway,so a lady still has some weeding to do,regardless.

By Chink

October 7, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this

Dan

This is my definition of courting

To endeavor to gain the affections of; to seek in marriage; to woo.

Mostly marriage and I know for a fact that every guy does not intent to marry every girl they date

I am narrowing it down…

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

melo…i appreciate the sincere concern…

right now…things are cool…and i mean that when i say that they are cool…every relationship is not all good all the time and i realize that…you go through rough spots that are either relationship building or relationship ending…sometimes, you can’t tell right away…

i know that i love this man enough to give it some time to be able to tell and to know for sure what decisoin is the right decision for us as a couple and for me as an individual…

By Foots

October 7, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this

LL Could you point out who is questioning the thought process? Maybe I’m reading something else, but every woman who posted today seems very sure about her method of meeting and attracting men, and the majority are not hurting for dates. Most men were pretty sure about what they liked too. Actually, Dan was the one asking Rell for advice on how to approach a woman he liked in a group of her friends.

So how is Ms. LL doing? You haven’t posted in a while, so catch us up on the goings on of one whose favor it did work out in.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this

I am waving the white flag! Do you, but don’t ask for our feedback when things don’t work out for ya!

LOL. Who asked for it in the first place? It’s just a blog topic.

Thanks for coming out of lurksville today, Mr. Longtimer!

By chakra7

October 7, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this

Although no one asked me directly just in the case it’s been misconstrued, I do not force my number onto a guy I am not interested to whom has shown no interest in me. I think you can offer, if that’s your thing, your number if you are moved to do so. That’s a personal choice; to me, it doesn’t spell desparation or being on the hunt for a man-but that’s just me. That to me is being too vested in what some random guy thinks of you just because you offered a number - it’s just not that serious. Doesn’t mean you’re on the hunt or desparate for a man. I’m specifically speaking of and answering a question posed earlier about what would you do if a guy did not ask for your number after an engaging conversation - my answer for me only was I’d give or offer him my number if I was so moved to do so. Very different from throwing myself at a man who I spotted across a room and walked up to and gave him my number. I just gather the impression is that by giving a guy your number despite the context is automatically being all up in his face, and that’s just not the case.

By abc

October 7, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

I don’t think that demanding or commanding respect necessarily means you’ll get respect.

Respect gets as respect gives. One gets as much respect as they deserve. As far as that goes, an old saying goes everyone gets what they deserve.

One way or another.

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

Chink ^5 Lady! I date to marry. For me, if a dude isn’t marriage minded, then there’s no need for us to pursue any type of romantic connection.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

@Melo

You’re married.

So you’re posts about “self promotion” ring rather hollow.

And yes, I do command respect. That is one the lessons taught to me the male role models in my life.

@ARed

Approaching doesn’t make you thirsty. It’s how the woman acts that makes her thirsty.

If 10 women approach (like women to men) then maybe one has a chance of getting anywhere. It’s about compatibility.

Also, I’d like to point out that my post that you commented on was referencing a particular woman that I have contact with offline. I assumed that she knew that, thus not requiring your response.

@SexyCool

I gotcha…friends first? I soo hate that innocuous phrase….but we shall see.

By MELO

October 7, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

Ur’ on point SexyCool. I knw u to be level headed and mature from our interractions.I hope evrything wrks out..

By Dan

October 7, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

@Foots

If I didn’t have a sense that you were attractive I’d say something more than:

I was not asking Rell for advice. I merely posted a rhetorical situation.

Again, The D has no problem looking to, approaching, or speaking to women.

Remember, I’m cute

By MELO

October 7, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

You’re married. So you’re posts about “self promotion” ring rather hollow i think im too retarded for ur level to understand hw me being married and ur self promo are in any way,shape or form,related.

By mqew

October 7, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

Melo Dannng

Ummm Yeah ummm I uummmm agree with your 3:46

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this

dan…i expected you to say something like that…

melo….preshate da luv….

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this

Chink

it should not seem like a game of cat and mouse.

Unfortunately, in the real world, it sometimes is treated like a game.

I’ve known women to play games to attempt to control men everything from I’m gonna get that man to buy me a drink to anything else. I’ve seen it with my own two eyes at happy hours after work

To me, that is manipulation and playing games.

Likewise, I know guys that have done similar things. And I feel the same way about it. It is wrong.

remember attraction is a choice…

I don’t necessarily agree with that statement either.

To some degree I don’t think that attraction is truly a choice.

Lord knows that the wife and I weren’t attracted to each other in the beginning. I thought that she was too short and she thought I was rude and mean.

However, through interaction, we saw each other differently.

When we started dating it took three dates before we really clicked.

Another example, Dr. King and Mrs. Coretta Scott. She wasn’t attracted to him at first either. It was only through getting to know him that she was drawn to him. She thought that he was too short

By Dan

October 7, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

@abc

Diva understands…as do a lot of other people

That you don’t get the idiom, doesn’t mean it’s incorrect, it means that you don’t get it.

And everyone’s not meant to get it… how’s that for an old saying?

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

Approaching doesn’t make you thirsty. It’s how the woman acts that makes her thirsty.

Dan, duh again. Stop putting words in my mouth. I didn’t say approching makes her thirsty.

Secondly, I don’t give a flying fig about what you feel requires a response or not. I didn’t even quote the offline part cuz I found it totally irrelevant to MY point. Perhaps you should keep your offline proclivities offline, thus not having to make such notes on a public blog where anyone can comment as they see fit.

By Classics

October 7, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

*Also, I’d like to point out that my post that you commented on was referencing a particular woman that I have contact with offline. I assumed that she knew that, thus not requiring your response.

Lol to Dan mayne, she always think someone is speaking to her. smh

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 4:10 PM | Link to this

i think im too retarded for ur level to understand hw me being married and ur self promo are in any way,shape or form,related.

melo, I’m saying. LOL. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one reading some of these post going, “what does THAT have to do with anything?” LOL

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

Lol to Dan mayne, she always think someone is speaking to her. smh

No, I don’t. However, the post in question happened to have a direct quote coming from my keyboard.

But again, this is a public blog, if you don’t wish responses from people on the blog, exit stage left!

By Dan

October 7, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

@ARed

Deese. Hater.

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

PoppaG good point. While I may find a guy attractive, unless he’s got some type of raw animal and sending out all kinds of phermones (or whatever) - I need to interact with a guy (or watch him interact with others) before I find myself attracted to him.

By Wise Diva

October 7, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

YOU guys are spicy today, lovin’ it :)

Dan, wait a minute now, I am open to hearing more about the hypothesis, not saying I agree/condone/approve what you are saying - yet. LOL

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 7, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this

I think MELO was on-point with his 3:46. When I date or have discussions with the over 40 club, the majority of them get it!

Older women don’t sit back and wait for nothing, they are go-getters! They are not desperate either, they just know what they like and want and they do not wait for someone to approach them.

Their approach to dating is also far different from younger women and they have more success in dating and maintaing longer relationships.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

So everything has to mean something to you ARed?

Really?

And here I thought we lived in a free country and could post on a blog information that was not necesarily meant to be understood by everybody.

My bad.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

Deese. Hater.

Dan - Hater? LMAO? Pray tell, please tell me what there is to hate on. Please.

You seem to be grasping at straws now.

By MELO

October 7, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

if a dude isn’t marriage minded, then there’s no need for us to pursue any type of romantic connection hey Tazzee, at what point or hw early after meeting him do u make that point explicitly known??

By Chink

October 7, 2008 4:22 PM | Link to this

Poppa

attraction is a choice was typed by someone else I think Rell or Melo.

Sorry

But good points :)

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this

So everything has to mean something to you ARed?

My goodness you are a drama queen. Putting 20 on 10 again.

Of course you can post blog information and OF COURSE I can comment on it! Duh.

Your bad indeed.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this

@WD

I’ll draw up a sample paragraph, and then you could see whether or not you agree with my hypothesis?

Deal?

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

Older women…have more success in dating and maintaing longer relationships

Uh..LL, If that’s true, why are they still single at 40?

By Dan

October 7, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

My you have a fast internet connection…

So let’s see when you get this:

Again,

Deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese

By MELO

October 7, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

Longtime Lurker” i think there is a no. of reasons why older wmen do that..a nothin to lose mentality,soem have give up on marriage,just wanna have fun or soem have learnt their lessons during the younger days when they were more uptight or not as open.They are even more liberal in what they say than younger ones.But i think a lot of times its becoz they have taken soem heavy knocks,they are not intimadated by anything anymore.Talking of sexx(smehting that MLL wont want me touch),they are more liberated about their experiences and wont mind exploring it all the way.Its a diffrent breed!!!!

By RELL - 10/15/72

October 7, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

@PG…PLAYER YOU PROVED MY POINT…YOU CHOSE TO LOOK FOR THE GOOD IN THAT PERSON…THUS THE ATTRACTION BUILDS

By Wise Diva

October 7, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

Hmm do I sense some sexual tension?

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

Chink

I know that Rell posted it.

I tried to post it once and got an error message and when I retyped I forgot to put it in the second try.

The continued interaction is a choice. However, attraction is totally a choice to me. If there is nothing there attracting you, no amount of interaction will move the relationship along.

By Foots

October 7, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this

LL So what part of melo’s 3:46 did you think was on point? That he said that the over 40 crowd was agressive because they have slim pickings? That he doesn’t recommend the aggressive approach for women in their 30s? Or that as long as u on point,neat,dress urself good and u carry urself with respect and dignity, there are enough men out there as long as u move in right places and hangout? Cause I agree with the last part too.

And how is Ms. LL doing? I like hearing the success stories of dating and maintaining a relationship. Quite uplifting to see what the men think of their own women and how their approach worked for them.

Dan Okay……….

By Wise Diva

October 7, 2008 4:30 PM | Link to this

Fair enough, Dan. thanks!

By "Longtime Lurker"

October 7, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

@AmazonRed They are single for different reasons! Best thing I say is to go have a convo with a few of them and you will learn a lot!

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

Again, I hope they get bitten.

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this

melo Actually, it’s usually the guys that bring it up before I have to. I guess it’s the type of guys I usually attract. Or a guy may ask what I’m looking for. One segue is the question ‘why are you still single?’ then we discuss my dating experiences which lead to the ‘date to marry’ talk. All in all, it’s usually disclosed in the first few conversations.

ARed LOL @ your 4:25

By MELO

October 7, 2008 4:37 PM | Link to this

Hmm do I sense some sexual tension? ‘tween Dan and Dan??????

By Foots

October 7, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

LL Best thing I say is to go have a convo with a few of them and you will learn a lot!

As Dan brought up again this week, paraphrasing, if you want to know how to get and maintain a good relationship, talk to those who have gotten and have maintained good relationships. I can ask my single friends for dating advice, I know a great deal of how to get them and let em go. But when it comes to the nitty gritty of what makes relationships work and what true relationship reality is, it’s really best to talk to those who have relationships. Which is why your stories of your own relationship are so valuable to those who are still looking.

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

Rell

@PG…PLAYER YOU PROVED MY POINT…YOU CHOSE TO LOOK FOR THE GOOD IN THAT PERSON…THUS THE ATTRACTION BUILDS

I could tell that she was a good person. However, I’ve dated a number of good women.

They all weren’t good for me, though. Some brought out the worst in me. One brought out the violent side of me. I punched my hand through one of my walls in my apartment in dealing with her. Slammed the door to my car and shattered the window.

But, she was a good woman, I was a good man. However, we weren’t a good couple.

So, no matter what good was in her, it didn’t translate to a good relationship. She knew how to cha cha slide on my last nerve. But, I think that she was a good person. she handled her business well. Had degrees and such. She just had a serious mouf on her that would not quit.

You choose to interact, but not to attract. Either you do or you don’t.

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 4:43 PM | Link to this

…LL, If that’s true, why are they still single at 40? Simple, a lot no longer want to get married. Not all, but a lot!

By MELO

October 7, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this

God nite folks..Wise u were on point.the topic kept everbdy on target whole day…..

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 4:47 PM | Link to this

One brought out the violent side of me. I punched my hand through one of my walls in my apartment in dealing with her. Slammed the door to my car and shattered the window.

Ooooooh. PG, I’m shocked!:o)

LMAO @ melo. I think you’re right.

By Chink

October 7, 2008 4:48 PM | Link to this

Ared

If he says that word again I think I will scream!

By abc

October 7, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this

Dan, “get the idiom”? That’s a colloquialism for what, exactly? The topic, or the respect thing?

(Shall I presume that ‘deese’ is an urban pronunciation of ‘these’, meant to refer to whatever you find to be dismissive or dismissable? Really, just askin bout the dees.)

I see a lot of men that, the less respect they get, the more they seem to insist upon, whether by word or deed. They don’t seem to know how to go about getting that which they seek. That’s all I’m sayin.

By RELL - 10/15/72

October 7, 2008 4:52 PM | Link to this

She just had a serious mouf on her that would not quit.

problem with most “independent” black women..we getting that older generation backlash…meaning they stuck in there offspring what they could not say…but most black women will not acknowledge or even open the possiblities to that thought..on the message that were pumped into them by women that had failed relationships or poor dealing with men from growing up…but thats a whole nother days discussion

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this

It means Deese Nuts!!!!

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this

Uh..LL, If that’s true, why are they still single at 40?

I know a lot of them that are in relationships, but don’t want to get married anymore.

The reasons vary…my aunt has a relationship because if she gets remarried she loses my uncles support check…(he is deceased). So in her case it is a monetary reason.

A few others have tasted marriage, it was bitter, and the spit it out (divorce). So, they don’t want it again.

Still a few others like to their freedom and space.

There are a myriad of reasons. It is not just because they can’t or even because they don’t have anyone to love them. Its just a choice for some.

By Wise Diva

October 7, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this

Poppa G! You just handed me about 4 topics in your ONE comment, LOL, have I told you lately that I am team Poppa G? LOL! THANK YOU :)

By Leggs

October 7, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

Good night everyone!

At the heart of personality is the need to feel a sense of being lovable without having to qualify for that acceptance. (Dr. Paul Tournier)

SexyCool, your antenna is emitting some positive feedback. You’re in a good place!

Enjoy life!

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

It is not just because they can’t or even because they don’t have anyone to love them.

PG, it wasn’t a serious question folks. But thanks.

If he says that word again I think I will scream!

Chink, I think that’s the point. Funny how there’s always talk about respect, but you got folks on here that can’t even close an argument without a kindergarten taunt. The irony of that is not lost on me. LOL

By Wise Diva

October 7, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this

Hey everyone, really great debates today, be sure to catch THE OTHER debate tonight!

Have a wonderful and safe evening!

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

Ooooooh. PG, I’m shocked!:o)

One thing that I know is certain. Everyone has a dark side to them. I have a temper. I learned to control it for the most part except she wouldn’t let me be. When I walk away, don’t follow me and continue to shrill in my ear. Know when to shut your pie hole!!! she didn’t.

From what I understand, she is a pediatrician now. But also, she is still single….

*she is the one woman that I told to put the panties back on..Rabbit dancing would have just upped the ante with her and she really would have been unbearable…(even though the guys said that was what she needed.)

By Tazzee

October 7, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

PoppaG with that said, why would a woman that desires marriage mirror her actions (as LL has suggested) after women that choose not to?

I know there are various reasons why the over 40 crowd isn’t married, but LL is making those women out to be the ones that get ‘it’ - perhaps the ‘it’ is a man like him, a man who constantly spouts that marriage only benefits the female and there’s no reason for him to get married (or whatever his motto is) And if that’s the ‘it’ that they get - then a woman like me certainly doesn’t want ‘it’ LOL

By Dan

October 7, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

@abc

I should have written axiom, not idiom. The former is more appropriate, the latter, a synonyum (sp?).

But you’ve proven the point. Commanding respect: is giving outwardly, having it for yourself, thus projecting it.

In demanding respect, you attempt to take it from others.

@Melo

You so lame

By Dan

October 7, 2008 5:04 PM | Link to this

@Foots

They hang low (that was the echo)

@abc

It’s based on a comic and his routine. I personally use it to dismissive reflect, ignorance and stupidity.

@ARed

Deese

By Foots

October 7, 2008 5:07 PM | Link to this

Funny how there’s always talk about respect, but you got folks on here that can’t even close an argument without a kindergarten taunt.

Now that is a profound ending to the day!

By Chink

October 7, 2008 5:08 PM | Link to this

Aint that right Tazzee ^5 ..I am jumping right behind ya..I dont want it either!

By SexyCool

October 7, 2008 5:09 PM | Link to this

thanks, leggs…

well…i had the rare oppty of spending ALL day on the blog today…much to the dismay of my IT dept, i’m sure…

i was thoroughly entertained…thanks for making tuesday slide by…

rell…i’ma call you…

By Poppa Grande

October 7, 2008 5:11 PM | Link to this

*PoppaG with that said, why would a woman that desires marriage mirror her actions (as LL has suggested) after women that choose not to? *

They still may know how to treat and keep a man. They still want some companionship. Mr. Bullet, Mr. Lucky, Mr. Steel, Mr. Rabbit (whatever you call him) doesn’t do everything that a human being can do. There may not be much different other than the desire to put the legal name on it. Georgia doesn’t recognize common law marriage, so no legality no marriage

By abc

October 7, 2008 5:12 PM | Link to this

Dan, aha. Gotcha. I agree at least somewhat; what comes to mind are those that think their behavior commands respect, but it doesn’t — but that would be more similar to what you speak of as demanding rather than commanding — similar, not exactly the same.

People who get respect just do. I find it’s not necessarily to do with anything they say or do, but more with who and what they are.

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 5:12 PM | Link to this

Deese

Yes, Dan we are aware. All of blogland can smell em thru their screens.

By Dan

October 7, 2008 5:14 PM | Link to this

@ARed

By your very words sometimes, you show no common courtesy, let alone respect.

So why would I respond with anything more than a childish kindergarten taunt?

By AmazonRed

October 7, 2008 5:19 PM | Link to this

By your very words sometimes, you show no common courtesy, let alone respect.

I guess it takes one to know one Dan. And since you don’t save that taunt for just lil ole me, I’ll go with my inital theory.

Learn to close buddy. Ta ta.