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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2008 > September > 23
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
How NOT to Get Laid
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Sometimes men don’t know when to shut up. Honestly, they can be so close to sealing the deal but, for reasons unbeknownst to womankind, they torpedo any chance of getting laid. In an effort to help men get laid more (you’re welcome!), here are 5 ways not to get laid.
Bragging: Boasting about the size of your wallet, package, technique, or material possession is annoying. Most of the time, when a guy has to become his own street team, it’s because he is making stuff up. Your reputation should precede you. If you have to hype yourself, we probably won’t even believe you. You need more people.
Condescending tone or behavior. I don’t care if you can top a woman in a sport, scrabble game, or IQ test. If you try to make her feel as if you are far more superior, it’s a turn off. The female ego is bigger and more fragile than yours: handle with caution.
Making disgusting sounds, smells, or jokes. Listen, if a woman has decided that she wants you to serve up some O’s, she doesn’t want to see you acting like a frat boy. It’s not cute, sexy, or endearing when she is trying to have dirty thoughts about you. Knock it off.
Child’s play. Any mention of wanting to make a baby will automatically disqualify you from a rendezvous. When a woman has decided that “It’s just sex”, she definitely won’t like you trying to breed with her. Know your role, accept it, thanks.
Display psycho behavior. If you want a woman to feel comfortable with you, you may not want to disclose your proclivity for collecting blow up dolls. Keep dreaming, crazies - or hide the weirdness as much as possible.
Ladies, what can you add to this list? Have you ever met a guy that actually talked himself out of getting lucky? What did he say or do?
Guys, does any of this behavior sound familiar? Do you think you ever talked yourselves out of getting laid? Have you ever met a lady that talked herself out of getting laid? What did she do or say?
Happy Tuesday!
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