Taking it to My Grave

By wRENN

September 12, 2008 8:31 AM | Link to this

Good murnin’ everyone…Wise Diva full disclosure hmmmmmm…i guess the real question is, do you ever really know someone fully even if you live with them for 20 years or more?

In the beginning it gives you alot to talk about to find commonalities however we live in a cynical world and people are so judgemental…I remain a little guarded for a while to see if anything will come out of it, then there’s a time and a place for everything…

@Truth…I had to sign off yesterday because I got busy, meeting on aisle 6 by the cotton balls still stands, use that imagination of yours…I’ve been told i have bedroom eyes…lol

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 8:47 AM | Link to this

Good morning.

**HAPPY B-DAY MO!

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 9:02 AM | Link to this

Althought I’ve divulged here that a friend and I set up a sexual romp for another friend, I wouldn’t volunteer this information in the real world. We know too many people here. I wouldn’t divulge what happened to me the second day of arriving in Atlanta (don’t bother to ask I won’t tell). I won’t divulge my eagerness to….(LOL). I won’t divulge my ability to…..(ROFL), and I won’t admit to ….. (LMBAO). Enjoy the day!

HAPPY B-DAY MO!

By Kevin

September 12, 2008 9:06 AM | Link to this

Good Morning ATL… Happy Friday and GOOOOOOOO!!!!! Dallas Cowboys!!!!

By Raqi

September 12, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

Any behavior that sheds light into your borderline insanity should be kept to yourself. It may have been amusing when you did it and it probably makes for a good laugh fest when sitting around reminiscing with your same sex friends. But I know for a fact that just because your date finds it amusing while telling him at that moment, the lingering thoughts of it in his/her psyche will not pan out to well.

By Foots

September 12, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this

Good morning!

Is total honesty and full disclosure a good idea in a dating relationship?

I agree with wRENN, you can never know everything about somebody. I have never had somebody ask me to tell him every little detail about me. I did have one or two guys that was interested in my “number” and that’s something that doesn’t concern them, high or low. I just say that if you want a lily-white virgin, you got the wrong one.

What do you think would classify as the �no good can ever come from it� disclosure?

Anything that has absolutely nothing to do with the other person. Things that directly, or even indirectly, affect my SO, I will let him know. We have agreed to let each other know about such things. Hypothetically speaking, I don’t need to know what he did when he was 19 that got him a night in jail, unless he shares by himself because it’s a funny story. I would need to know if it was a felony that would impact how easily he could gain employment. I don’t need to know that he used to buy $200 Jordans everytime they came out. But I would need to know if his Jordan habit in the past has affected his credit to the point where he can’t even get a Capital One credit card now. He shops now for himself with his money and I don’t need to know everything he bought. But if it ever becomes OUR money, yeah, I need to be a part of the decision making, especially if I’m the one managing the finances for the home. You get the drift.

By MLL

September 12, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

TGIF, Good morning, you will never get to know someone fully, you only learn their habits. Besides certain ppl bring out certian things in us.

Speaking of grave - I’ll tell you guys since no one knows me, one hot summer when I was in my early 20’s I made out in the grave yard.

By SlimOne

September 12, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

MORNING! The final day has come. All i can say is, “where da Mimosa’s at?

Things I probably wouldn’t divulge:

One time in band camp when I dug in my booty then smelled it.

That other time in space camp when I squeezed dawg shyt in between my fangas and liked it.

Oh yeah, that one time when….wait a minute! I forgot to change my dayum moniker.

By ATL Guy

September 12, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

Good Morning…Pulling for the Falcons baby! Betting on Dallas to lose to Philly!!!

By NY2GA, Inc.

September 12, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

Shoot, we all fall short of the glory sometimes. Everybody has a past. I accept that. However, DO expect you to tell me things that may affect my health or safety today. I mean, I don’t want to turn on America’s Most Wanted or see your face on a poster when I go to the post office to buy my stamps. Do you have something to tell me? lol.

Otherwise, keep the details of your past wild escapades, trysts and close run ins with the law to yourself.

By Foots

September 12, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this

melo I left work early, so I didn’t read your comments until later and you made me LOL! Clarification is needed cause your mind runs wild sometimes!

I have said in the past that I don’t believe in arbitrary timelines for physical activity. I believe that each person should determine their comfort level and be able to “own” their decision about when they choose to drop draws.

My point was that if folks try so hard to not make sex the focus of the relationship by waiting for say, 3 months before having it, but you are both thinking about it and trying to hold back and changing date locations so you can’t be alone cause something might pop off, then your plan backfired. Sex is STILL the focus of the relationship and is controlling it, which is the very thing you were trying to avoid. In those cases, you can’t ignore the pink elephant in the room. What would be the point? Either way, whether you’re having it or trying so hard not to have it, sex would be the focal point.

That’s why arbitrary timelines don’t work for me. Let adults who are comfortable making their own decisions, who feel that they know the person well enough, and who can be responsible for whatever outcome decide when is the right time for them, without using a calendar to do it.

By Foots

September 12, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

I do tell gross stuff though and I probably shouldn’t. Like when I was little, like 7, my favorite male cousin who is 7 years older than me, would eat the Doritos that I had already sucked the cheese off of. He’d also dig boogers out of me and my sister’s noses. Just typing that makes me throw up a little in my mouth all these years later. LOL!!

By MLL

September 12, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

Here you go Slimone a 40 oz glass of chilled mimosa….best wishes to you.

Keep your head up, Remember thru Christ ALL things are possible.

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

I stuck a purple crayon up my nose and couldn’t get it out. Mama had to rush me to the hospital. When I got home she beat the shyt out of me.

Also, got my head stuck between a wrought iron fence and Mama had to call the fire department. Got beat for that one too!

By SlimOne

September 12, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Foots I talked to your cuz yesterday and that boy stil a dayum fool. I asked him how the carpet cleaning biz was going and this fool tombout he’ll munch my carpet until it’s s**-n-span. LOL! Then I told him take me to go get a taco and this nut gonna say, “She dat’s whats wrong with all yall chicks. Always want somebody to spend money!” A taco? A freakin .89 cent taco!?? I had to get off the phone with him cuz he was making my face hurt laughing.

I can’t wait to see Tyler Perry’s new shyt, “The Family that Preys”. Anybody else going to see it?

By i'm swiss

September 12, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

“I wouldn�t divulge what happened to me the second day of arriving in Atlanta (don�t bother to ask I won�t tell). I won�t divulge my eagerness to�.(LOL). I won�t divulge my ability to�..(ROFL), and I won�t admit to �.. (LMBAO). Enjoy the day!”

Come on now, Leggs — You know it’s not right to throw stuff that potentially juicy out there & leave us hanging. Spill it. Don’t make me use the “enhanced interrogation techniques” on you.

Swiss now looking for his “Jack Bauer home waterboarding & CT electro-shock therapy kit” lol

By aqualung

September 12, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

I don’t tell guys my real number. I lie and say 3. As long as we both recognize the lie… (I date geeks with lower numbers than mine.)

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

I going to see it tomorrow with a girlfriend.

Also Tyler Perry’s Marriage Counselor is at the Fox tonight!

By Atl Lady

September 12, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Good People

Wise Diva Something tells me that this just might be one of those days where you here a lot of crickets in the background.

Who me? Nah, that wasn’t me dancing at Nikkis for a few extra dollars. Where did you get that from?!?! All the while thinking dang how in the heck did he find that out LOl :-)

By MLL

September 12, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

LOL Leggs….too funny

By SlimOne

September 12, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

Leggs You might want to go ahead and comply with i’m swiss. I don’t think very many CT’s have survived the CT electro-shock therapy. And if they did, just imagine what it looks and smells like afterwards. Ewwwwwww

By Foots

September 12, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

Slim LMAO!! Something has ALWAYS been wrong with that boy. ALWAYS!! He and his sister (who is equally crazy) are the joy of my family. But I’m mad at him. Dude was supposed to clean my carpet a few weeks ago and ain’t called me yet. I’mma stop inviting him to stuff too cause he never come. He was supposed to go boating with us Labor Day weekend at Allatoona, but he didn’t make it. I love him and hate him at the same dayum time. LOL!

Speaking of psycho behavior, a dude told me once “Foots, I HATE you!! But I like you too. I’m confused.” I got the hellz off that phone, I’ll tell ya that.

By M.

September 12, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

I think the thing that you should not divulge is those wild drunken escapades. Though it seems friendly, I think it can come across the wrong way…I dont think you should go into detail about that time you were doing the electric slide drunk at your company holiday party….with your bosses mistress or the time you had 7 shots of patron and woke up under the bar….

I think some people may mistake you as wild and maybe an alcoholic

By The Truth

September 12, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

Happy Bday Mo.

It’s full disclosure. If you ask I’m telling. I’ve never accidently fell and landed on some dudes dizzle or gotten so drunk I did something I wouldn’t have done already.

When I tell women I’ve worked at a prison alot are intrigued and ask questions. When I tell them about some of the things that went down a few look at me in another light. A few have been outright afraid of me. Don’t ask.

The reason I feel you should disclose everything is because at those special moments you are defining the limits of your charachter. It’s important that your partner knows those limits. All that lets share life and our hearts is bs if a cat didn’t know you sold azz out the back of your moms station wagon.

Also, EVERYTHING that happened to me made me what I am today and I happen to like where I am today. It wasnt all good but its been an adventure.

I think this would officially fit into ABC’s theory that all women lie and now I see his point.

Foots I am revising my above statement for you only. NEVER, EVER tell anyone about the booger thing. YUCkx10. Do you still see that guy and does he always look at your nose? LOL

Wrenn I’ll be there but I’m feeling real insecure about those cotton balls.

Off topic: My female is in heat and my male dog is off the chain. He hasn’t eaten since sunday and he spends all day and night trying to break into her cage. He wimpers and howls ALL day and night. He’s so hyper that he must be exhausted. I haven’t got a good night sleep in days. Ladies, this dude is a true c** hound. If he was a guy he’d be locked up. LOL Ok, back to your regular blog.

By ATL Guy

September 12, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this

Anyone going surfing on the Texas coast this weekend!?!?

By Foots

September 12, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

Truth Of course I still see him. He’s my first cousin. And yes, I have no doubt that he would dig the boogers out my nose or the crust out of my eye again if for some reason I couldn’t reach them. And to be perfectly honest, I would do the same. That’s family love.

I take it that you haven’t had your animals spayed or neutered?

By i'm swiss

September 12, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

Foots

Um… to borrow a line from an old Lewis Grizzard joke… “D@mn, I don’t believe I’d have told that”

LOL

By Raqi

September 12, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

Really for me the only things off limits were those that I felt extremely ashamed of after the fact whether it was psychotic, illegal or virtuely questionable.

By Beautiful

September 12, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

hey ppl!!! my haters ——> my motivators.

i’m mumzing the word today on the craziness. y’all already think i’m nuts. lol. i did tell one SO and when i woke up the next morning … my baby was still there. if my current friend ask, yes i’ll tell him too.

happy birthday mo! have a beautiful day, k.

off topic

i�m in walmart last night minding my own, humming my fav tune. all of a sudden i hear … Angie! before i turn around, i�m thinking who now!!! i turned and said Sidney really soft like. i was stunned. the last time i saw him, he was on the front page of the newspaper with the swat team surrounding his house. another ex from hs. boy o boy. when it rains, it pours. i loved me some sid with his thuggish azz. he�s the kinda nicca that would put a cap in yo azz for no reason at all. no lie.

By Foots

September 12, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

swiss You might want to go ahead and ask your fiancee if she’s the type of woman who would dig boogers out of your nose. If she says “Ewwww!!! Yuck!! I would NEVER do that!!” then she’s probably not the woman who would wipe your @ss in your old age, change the bloody gauze out your mouth if you’ve had oral surgery, or empty your colostomy bag when it’s full. Better to know her gross-out level now before you really need her help. LOL!

By Atl Lady

September 12, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Foots That’s not fair and maybe not true. My mom was very ill recently and she had some really grossed out issues too. I had to build up to it. I think once you get used to having to do it for someone you love and truly care about then it becomes easy. I can see myself being a fulltime nurse after awhile. Just do it.

By i'm swiss

September 12, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

Foots — LOL… You’ve got a point there. But I don’t have to ask — I already know the answer to that question. I’m already putting aside a “personal a$$-wiper” stash for my old age. LOL

By Foots

September 12, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

Atl Lady What’s not fair? Saying “probably”? It’s true that some people would NEVER be cut out for that and you might want to know. You’re like that with your mother, the one who gave birth to you and changed your diapers, right? I think most people would step up to the plate like you did for family. But for a spouse? Plenty of people break up when a spouse becomes incapacitated, so I think it’s a fair question.

My co-worker was telling a story about his family member who couldn’t stand when his baby vomited. Who can? But dude wouldn’t even clean his own baby up, he was so grossed out, he’d just hand her to somebody else. So yeah, we can disagree, but I’m still for finding out what somebody’s gross out level is before you REALLY need to know.

By SlimOne

September 12, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

Poots I don’t invite him anywhere anymore either so don’t feel bad. I’ve just learned to accept the fact that if the event you’re having isn’t at his place, then you can forget about him showing up. LOL!

..Speaking of boogers and such, did any of you see that special the other night about the street vendors in New Yawk? They showed the vendors digging in their booty, digging in their nose, one guy even took his shoes off on a break and proceeded to dig toe jam out of tween his toes…then go back to serving hotdogs to customer all w/o every washing a hand. One guy actually had on gloves but never changed them once, not even after handling trash or using the bathroom. Again i say, ewwwwww

By SlimOne

September 12, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

Poots I don’t invite him anywhere anymore either so don’t feel bad. I’ve just learned to accept the fact that if the event you’re having isn’t at his place, then you can forget about him showing up. LOL!

..Speaking of boogers and such, did any of you see that special the other night about the street vendors in New Yawk? They showed the vendors digging in their booty, digging in their nose, one guy even took his shoes off on a break and proceeded to dig toe jam out of tween his toes…then go back to serving hotdogs to customer all w/o every washing a hand. One guy actually had on gloves but never changed them once, not even after handling trash or using the bathroom. Again i say, ewwwwww

By JtJ

September 12, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

Hello All, I read the blog regularly after I stumbled onto it a couple of years ago. I still remember some of the regulars on here (i.e, Two Can Play That Game, Mrs. QC, Leggs, Foots, Lurker, Blue Colla, etc.) You guys crack me up with your wittiness and comments, I even go back and read past topics just to get the insight of the issues that face the ATL dating & relationship scene. Some of you are truly comical! I have disclosed information w/ my boyfriend of 3 yrs about past relationships, flings, sexcapades, the number of partners, etc��He even admitted to paying for oral when he was 19 in ATL during Freak Nik. I told him I once got busy in a public park on a picnic table. I think it is good to share information up front, but not too much too soon; you don�t want to come off as wild and crazy. Just warm up to it�..gradually. Anyhoo, I am dealing with something similar in my relationship now��. �..we�re a blended family with 5 kids between the 2 of us. My boyfriend does not share changes in his financial matters with me even though we are living together and sharing responsibilities. For instance, he got a bonus at work, but wouldn�t honestly tell me how much and his child support increased recently. He says these things are his business and he does not have to tell me EVERYTHING. To me this, this is NOT everything�.this is OUR overall financial health. I use �OUR� too loosely since we are not married yet. (I want to wait ) We are saving to purchase a bigger home�..though I seem to be the only one saving��.he is not good at saving money at all. I want him to share more important things with me as I feel that we are in this together. If you are not married, but living together, should I expect him to share his financial matter with me?

By Wise Diva

September 12, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

oh you guys don’t have to confess like I did, LOL Keep it general and vague.

For instance, I don’t think that fake doctor McCreepy should tell the next victim/girlfriend/wife that he likes to play doctor for real, LOL!

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

What I want someone to know…I tell…what I don’t…I keep my mouth shut…period…and the things that I would not tell a potential significant other are probably the same things I would never discuss with anyone else…I really do not have anything to hide…there may be some things that I would rather not discuss…how much trust I feel has developed between me and another person, and the type of relationship we have, will determine how much of the “not everyday” conversational topics I bring to the forefront…and oh if some could have been flies on the walls…lol

By Hot Mama

September 12, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

HELLO ER’BODY!!

Is is finally FRIDAY!!

By ATL Guy

September 12, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

Beautiful you are down with this Thugged Out Idiot? Gangs are a means where they can feel like somebody cause they have no direction or no identity. Other words, weakest people I’ve ever dealt with. Use this tough facade to cover up how much of a failure they are and how society will never accept them

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

@MML

Honey, there have been worse places than a graveyard…but that is one of my not for everyday convos…lmao

By East Point's Own(Still Leon Phelps)

September 12, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

I think its smart to with hold all the jacked up crap your immediate ex- did to you, even if its true… not matter what you say it will sound as is you have not buried the hatchet. Just say “things didn’t work out because (insert reasonable and not too negative cause here)” and keep it moving…

By Joel in ATL

September 12, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Why Lie? If it is bothering you that you haven’t told, then tell. The consequence is the consequence. If I a person can’t handle me being honest with them then I don’t need to be with anyway. Nobody wants you to lie to them and nobody wants you to be honest!!! So then us men get labeled Dogs cause we just keep it moving, but come over when your in need of a warm massage…

I rather you be honest with me than me find out later…people get shot that way. There ar emore lairs than honest people so when your honest you get looked at as “different”. Whatever is in the dark will come to light, may as well let it out. If your worried about being “judged” by a person becasue your honest. You don’t need to be with them either. Personally I find honesty to work better that way when I was caught out in public it didn’t get ugly cause I was honest from the start.

By i'm swiss

September 12, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

“Honey, there have been worse places than a graveyard�but that is one of my not for everyday convos�lmao”

I know… When she led with the “speaking of graves” bit, my mind immediately went in a whole different direction. I was waiting for a story about putting a dude in the grave due to CT overload or something. lol

By Wise Diva

September 12, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

hey Hot Mama! Doing the Happy Friday dance

By Leon Phelps

September 12, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

But I agree with the posters who said that its best not to hide things… If I am asked a question I tell the truth, or I say that its a little too soon to discuss this but we’ll get there… maybe… LoL
I do not think there should be any dishonesty in a relationship, it always ends up causing problems even when you think its best at the moment. I recently started using facebook and I have seen that folks I knew 15-20 years ago are close friends with people I have met in other states in the last 1-2 years… that is a little bit scary how close people from your past might be with people in your present… and folks do talk. So its best to come clean from the jump.

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

SlimOne, I saw that crap. The nerve of some folk.

Not knocking whatcha doing JtJ, but will both your names be on the loan since it seems you’re the only one saving????

By Foots

September 12, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

Slim one guy even took his shoes off on a break and proceeded to dig toe jam out of tween his toes�

Dang!! And nobody washed their hands?!?! Remind me to not get a hot dog in New York again! Some of these nasty people at work need to wash their hands too when they come out the bathroom. I wouldn’t touch some of their keyboards with a 10 foot pole.

JtJ If you are not married, but living together, should I expect him to share his financial matter with me?

Of course! If you can share a home and your bodies, you can share finances. If you’re saving for a bigger house, how can you develop a real plan to save if you have no idea what your total income and outflow is? How do you even know how much house you can afford???

The couple of times that things took a serious turn with a SO, we had financial disclosure. Credit ratings, income, expenses, student loans if any, what our spending habits are, what our saving philosophy is, how many bills we have, etc. But financial health and security is important to me and is something that I want my future spouse to believe is important also. Once I know where a man stands on financial issues, I can determine how to proceed, since there’s a lot more to a relationship than just love. Gotta live too.

One friend told me that his new wife had student loans so high they could never pay them off AND they were in default. Her credit was so bad that they couldn’t get a house if her name was on the note. I asked him if he knew it was that bad with her before they got married. He said he never thought to ask her about finances. Dayum that!!

By SlimDiva

September 12, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

Happy Friday!!

NOOOOOOO…those secrets will go with me to my grave. Like the WiseDiva*…I signed a non-disclosure agreement on everything.

I look innocent…I act innocent…but God knows that I’m FAR from being innocent…LOL!!! I’ll deal with those things when judgement day comes for me…LOL!!!

I will say this…when you’re out dancing and he asks if you’ve ever been a stripper…just say NO!!!!

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Happy B-Day Mo…We Virgos rule!!!

Well…topic change shoud be up and running soon…lol.

By Foots

September 12, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Hot Mama You were off da chain yesterday!! Had me ROTFLOL!!!

EPO Just say �things didn�t work out because (insert reasonable and not too negative cause here)� and keep it moving�

Agreed. Nothing irks me like a dude who meets me and just complains about what some other chick did to him. I always think he’s not over it.

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

@i’m swiss

sure you right…doing it in the graveyard…freaky, but okay…dumping a body in the graveyard…oh, okay…thanks for the tmi….lol

By Beautiful

September 12, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

good morning wise, atl guy, rell!

back in da day, he was a thug, but not really. now … shiiiiit. i used to love thugs cause they are sexy as h3ll. but every since i met my ex (Lt., smart) i found myself wanting that status. me dating a thug now is basically going backwards and settling.

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

@Foots

^co-sign 11:30…Hot Mama was the jama…shyte…had my co-workers looking over my shoulders and in tears…too much funny.

By Wise Diva

September 12, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

oh ya’ll, don’t take it too seriously, I was trying to pull out some humor from the looney bunch here!

GO Hypothetical is the key word here! LOL

By yelo

September 12, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

if there is one thing i can recall being the common link that all men i have conversed with about their partners, it is that they cannot bear (more than anything else) the knowledge that their girlfriend, bride-to-be, or wife was spreading her legs like peanut butter in her bachelorette days.

for men it seems like everything is workable (minus any exteme cases), but when it comes to sex, their ego is directly affected by her past experiences. men stupidly compare themselves and wonder if they put it down better than anyone before them. their insecurities can really come out in these situations (loL).

so ladies, i suggest you keep all those past adventures when you were most hungry for d*ck to yourselves because some guys will fall limp in fear (loL!).

ironically, that isn’t a problem for most men when it comes to dealing with their side piece.

By i'm swiss

September 12, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

“Some of these nasty people at work need to wash their hands too when they come out the bathroom. I wouldn�t touch some of their keyboards with a 10 foot pole.”

Foots — Cosign. One more reason I’m glad I work from home most of the time. And can we just go ahead & make a law that ALL public bathrooms must have paper towels — not those stupid blower things. The paper towels aren’t just for drying hands — they’re also to insulate my hand from that nasty door handle that all those disgusting non-hand-washing a-holes have been grabbing all day. Oh, and while we’re at it, better make a law to have a trash can beside the door, too — unless you just want me to throw my door-handle-shield paper towel on the floor.

It’s shameful, the deterioration of bathroom etiquette in this world…

By MLL

September 12, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

Please do share M’K LMBO i’m swiss never put in the grave..has anyone as a child ever been given across the grave of a relative so you wont have nightmares at night or was it so that the dead won’t bother you?….anyway one time I was being handed across a relatives grave and they almost dropped me…that stunt gave me the willies for years…

hot mama doing the Friday dance strolling down the Soul Train line…

By abc

September 12, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

Dayum right, and thank you very much.

I suppose many people would require something like such a confession of keeping secrets and telling lies as a way of life, regardless the supposed tongue-in-cheek intent, in order to believe that it’s true. God forbid that someone you’re dating or in a relationship with should know what you’re really like; oh, hayell, no, keep the facade of what you want to appear as completely intact.

It’s a way of life for chicks. Most of the time, they don’t even know that’s what they’re doing.

By ATL Guy

September 12, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

Beautiful Thug Life is appealing to you!? Don’t get it. One way track to failure yet vunerable people keeps getting enticed by the lifestyle, which will end up ruining them!

By The Truth

September 12, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

Atl Guy Gangs are a means where they can feel like somebody cause they have no direction or no identity. Other words, weakest people I�ve ever dealt with. Use this tough facade to cover up how much of a failure they are and how society will never accept them. So not true. Alot of gangs run very successful and profitable, if not illegal, businesses. The Aryan Brotherhood is a good example. Their primary goal is making money, but if things go sideways they get real wicked real fast. Actually most gangs have more honor that alot of these major corporations, who will also have you killed if you hold sensitive information and plan on leaving.

As far as being weak, I know a gang of cats you’d never utter those words to in there face. Not everybody plays by the same rules.

Finally you get your sense of self by your actions just like they do, just different action.

By Wise Diva

September 12, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

ohh, speaking of taking to my grave, I was watching Oprah (yea, I know fellas, LOL) and the show was about men cheating eyeroll, anyway, the “expert” said that it is good to admit to the affair, and as early as possible. Do you agree with that?

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

Here’s a gross story for ya:

Way, way back when…We had to get rid of the 8 joints we had on us quickly. There were 4 of us so we all hurriedly tried to eat 2 apiece. One of us refused to eat. So the 3 of us did what we had to do. One couldn’t finish hers so I took what little she had in her mouth and ate it. I had to, the cops were standing outside the car. Anyway, we got rid of everything, but the one who refused to ate we 3 plotted a plan of revenge. A few weeks later we rolled up some dirt from the house plant and we pretended to sit around smoking it. When we passed it to her she was taking big time puffs. It was hard holding our laughter in. She thought we were getting high w/her. I remember her commenting man this stuff is kinda wet, but it’s good. At that point we fell out laughing. Let her take a few more drags and let her in on what we did. We had to run out of that apartment.

You want to know why the cops were standing outside the car. We were sitting in the back of the police car being detained on disorderly conduct. Yep, we ate them while sitting in the back of a police cruiser. They gave us our pocketbooks. They eventually let us 4 pretty young tenderonis go. We still laugh at that crap to this day!

By Dan

September 12, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

@WD

About admitting an affair:

Plausible deniability, I didn’t do anything (becuase it happened to me).

Truth, like life, has it’s versions

By Binford2k

September 12, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

It’s never good to disclose who or how many people you have slept with, or what dirty things you have done with them - as long as there is no lingering disease, why do they need to know

Really evaluate whether you should tell them your darkest secrets, think to yourself: “What good can possibly come from this?” Then slap yourself for even thinking about it

Wait until they other person is weak and vulnerable and in a tight spot when you tell them somthing - think of it as equalization!

If it is something that you KNOW is going to pop up later, then you best come clean at the first prime opening - otherwise, you’ll pay for that on a scale of how long you negelected to tell your SO about it.

By Bre'

September 12, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

Leggs That was funny.

On Topic I have one simple thing about revealing things from the past. “Don’t ask me a question that you might not be able to handle the full truth about”. If you ask me I’m going to ask you…..the best rules of life are simple.

By Foots

September 12, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

Swiss Actually, at my job, somebody did think of that, and put a trash can right outside the door. They know these people are nasty!

By KIR

September 12, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

hey blog fam! hey wise diva! i know…long time no blog. :) great blog post. i used to blog on here many moons ago. thought i’d check back in and see what the convo was like.

i agree with many of the posters here. i equate disclosure with commitment. the more committed i am in a relationship, the more i feel free to disclose. having said that, i think marriage is a definite place for full disclosure especially if you are committing your life to someone.

blog question how important are family details? would you like your spouse or mate to fully disclose family history (mental/physical health, history of abuse, dysfunctional relationships with parents etc)

By Leon Phelps

September 12, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva I don’t care what so called experts are on TV… admitting you cheated is never ever the right thing to do, unless you are on your way out of the relationship at the time anyway. No matter what a woman says there is some hope of salvaging a relationship until dude admits he cheated. I am an advocate of telling the truth and even in this case telling the truth is the right thing to do, but if you want to save the relationship telling the truth just ain’t the thing to do in this situation. Even if you can let her know she is right about her suspicions without flat out admission of guilt things might work out… I must fall back on the time tested line of all male cheaters ” It wasn’t me” That’s gotta be your story… and stick to it no matter what.

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

MLL

Ain’t trying to set it off today…lmao…but the stories of places, forgotten faces and shame your mama disgraces…lol…I am familiar with the custom of passing a child over the grave as some sort of ancestral rite of passage thingy…but honey, I would have fallen in just from the kicking and screaming…shyte…lol

@yelo

That is very true…there are a lot of men who think nothing of their numerous sexual encounters but would prefer to not deal with a woman who has been so liberal with her goodies…lol…but hey, I was in the last of the free love generation, I ran with the boys and I fugged like the boys rules…so I tell’em…been there fugged that…been there been fugged by it…and?!?!??…peace, love, flower power, don’t bogart the hootie and swing on!!!…it was the 70’s baby…that is what we did…oh yeah.

By Poppa Grande

September 12, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

ohh, speaking of taking to my grave, I was watching Oprah (yea, I know fellas, LOL) and the show was about men cheating eyeroll, anyway, the �expert� said that it is good to admit to the affair, and as early as possible. Do you agree with that?

Well, I’ve been told that the rule is to do the following:

1) Deny everything (aka The Shaggy Defense…”It wasn’t me”) 2) Admit Nothing 3) Make counter-accusations

The Republican Party has been known to win elections with a variation of this tactic which is called “Distract and Attack” (i.e. the fracas over Obama’s use of the word Lipstick must have been directed toward Gov. Palin even though all sentences before and after were about McCain and his mantra of change)

Have a good weekend people.

You Texas People (Tazzee, Dan, etc) hold on to your azzes because it looks like Ike won’t play. Seriously, be careful.

By kimmie

September 12, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

Happy Friday Blog Fam

I don’t have any really deep secrets, just stupid things I may have done when much younger, in college. Nothing really to be ashamed of but certainly would not have told my parents! As far as the telling the number thing, that’s has got to be near the top of the stupidest things to ask or tell! Unless it is something that will affect my future health or his, anything that went down before is none of his business. I don’t care what you say, most men cannot handle sensitive truth about past escapades! I have a friend that foolishly let a boyfriend talk her into telling absolutely everything about her past, saying he did not want to be embarassed if they were out and ran into someone she got with! She was rather promiscuous back in the day. Of course, he did not miss an beat in throwing it up in her face every chance he got, like I told her he would! He would even ask her to do different things and when she refused, would throw up to her that she did it with so-and-so! She tried to explain that she has grown and is a different person and won’t do a lot of things she did when she was younger. He just did not get it. I ached for her because I felt she lost some respect and “mystery” in his eyes that she could never get back. It completely wrecked their relationship and they broke up on very bad terms. This was someone she kinda grew up with that was a good friend and romance blossomed to the point they were considering marriage. He knew she was not exactly innocent, but he should have let the past stay in the past.

So abc and any others can just call me one of those lying women because my SO will never know my number because its none of his business and he is a smarter man to ask such a stupid question anyway! I had a life before him just like he did before me. Unless one of us is about to run for political office and something happened in my past that could come back to haunt, past should stay there! Luckily, I have nothing to really hide, just my business is my business!

By abc

September 12, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

KIR, you really should disclose things like your family’s mental and physical health history if plans come to include children. A potential parent should have the right to know what genetic risks their potential children will have.

To not do so is clearly indicative of the severe price and penalty that can be incurred by accomodating a woman’s propensity for secrets and lies.

By KIR

September 12, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

leon please elaborate on this. i understand that 9 times out of 10 a woman won’t want to continue the relationship if a man cheats. but the cheating still occurred and that is a breach in the relationship, a breakdown in trust. if a man cheats, but doesn’t tell his mate/spouse, doesn’t he feel that in some way the relationship is a lie? like that woman is staying with who she thinks the man is, a man who’s faithful to her, not who that man really is, a man who cheated on her and betrayed her trust. what are your thoughts on that?

By Atl Lady

September 12, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

Leon You say stick to it no matter what, but it’s not always a good thing. If you mess up and have a child or catch an STD while having an affair ins’t confessing the affair the right thing to do? Would you really hide or try to hide that kind of evidence from your wife or SO until the end of time? She’d be at the funeral only to find out how many secrets you kept from her. If she got pregnant by someone else and you know the child looks nothing like you or anyone else on your side or her side of the family and you’re going to just stay silent? I don’t believe that at all.

By Hot Mama

September 12, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

I got a whole list of shtye I’m taking to the grave. Most folk are on a need to know basis wit me and then you get the PG version.

By KIR

September 12, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

hey abc good to read you. ok, school me on your theory about how much women lie. and i’m not sayin’ i’m not one of ‘em. lol but i’m interested to hear the evidence behind your statements. and are you saying that you think women lie more than men?

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

far as the telling the number thing, that�s has got to be near the top of the stupidest things to ask or tell! HIGH FIVE, HIGH FIVE!!!! That’s right up there w/”am I the best lover you ever had?” UUGGH, I hate those questions!

By Dan

September 12, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

@PG

Appreciate it.

I spoke with Taz and my other TX people and everyones okay.

I’ve been in Vegas all week. Supposed to be headed back tomorrow, but not likely to happen.

But thanks for the look out

By Demi

September 12, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

Black tees, black ones, and a fitted cap The Mack 11 make me walk wit a crazy dap Y’all say we country ‘iggaz yee-haw The money comin back and forth like a seesaw And y’all ain’t never seen what we saw Stacks of twenty dollar bills, bricks, or white rolls What they got Lil Pha we don’t care bout shyt Ludacris how they ride out twenty wit dem bricks…

By Binford2k

September 12, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

kimmie You are on point - the respect of a little “mystery” goes a long way.

So many times when you give someone the true 411 on something, they give a dumbfounded “oh”, but they’ll never forget it even if the never bring it up.

What’s important is going forward. The past has passed, and unless there is a warranted reason, the past need to stay in the rear-view.

I want to die with some secrets!

By The Truth

September 12, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

Ladies, I have a question. Why is it when a man sleeps around he’s a dog but no matter how much azz you sling your not a ho? This baffles me. Just because you don’t tell someone how many times you’ve got down doesn’t mean they didn’t occur. You are what you do. If you go out and shoot someone you’re a murderer. If you have bright red hair, 3 kids by different men and looking for victim for a pay increase your a hoodrat. Why can’t you just say I was a ho?

Poots I don’t fix my dogs. My female will begin her Schutzhund testing in Dec and if she passes her pups will be worth $2500-3500 bux each. They need to repay me for all the money I put into them. LOL Also, fixing a dog to early slows the normal growth pattern meaning some will never reach their potential. Best to wait till 1-2 years old.

WD when I was married my ex asked me if I ever cheated. I told her I never stopped.

Leon gotta disagree. Tell that chick before you do it. If you were honest from the start, which from reading these posts most folks aren’t, then you’ve impressed upon her how important this thing is to you. If she neglects her duties then she should expect to be replaced. If you stop carrying the load you will be so turnabout is fair play. Also, you’d be surprised how many women will overlook it if you’re handling business. These chicks are just wolfing for the blog.

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

So do I, so do I!

By Leon Phelps

September 12, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

clarification If a man cheated and his woman is suspicious.. 9 times out of ten she already knows… but for some strange reason things can actually work out over time usually unless dude admits he cheated. Women will often try to trick their dude into confessing by claiming that “things will be alright”, “we can work through it”, or” as long as you tell me the truth I can forgive you” Those are all lies, in fact if you stick to the story things will run much more smoothly.. if you admit to it she may seem to be ok, but she is surely running up credit card bills, draining bank accounts, visiting lawyers, and planning revenge before she makes life so uncomfortable that the dude seeks a divorce…LoL Ok so that was not all serious, but women who get their dude to admit to cheating don’t just leave.. no they do major damage and then they may or may not leave… whereas the dud e who never admits hears about it for a while, they argue about it for a while.. but as long as he gets his act together ( and buys a few nice things) can generally have a semi-normal life.

Now of course this is provided there are no STDs, outside children, or stalkers involved. I am talking about a plain and simple romp in the broom closet. If an STD(or stalker) is involved you are stupid, foolish, selfish and a whole bunch of other adjectives if you don’t tell your partner since many STD’s can have significant effects if not treated early on. ANd come on if you have kids and you are not a part of their life that’s just wrong, I would risk ruining a marriage to spend time with my kid(s).

By Demi

September 12, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

M’K yo generation screwed things up for my generation…now we gotta use condoms n’shyt LOL

Leon Phelps If you know you aren’t ready to be with one puddy for the next 20 - 30 years…Why even settle down? There are plently of single women out there who don’t mind being in an uncommited relationship, provided you’re honest from jump street…I think most men are just out to hurt women.

Its some Boyz N Da Hood sell anything for profit (profit) Five in the morning on the corner clockin’ (clockin’) Yeah we wrong but dare a ‘igga try to stop us (try to stop us) And you can get it, anywhere anybody Dem Boyz got work, Dem Boyz got yay Dem Boyz got purp, Dem Boyz got haze Dem Boyz got glocks, Dem Boyz got K’s Dem Boyz got blocks, Dem Boyz gettin paid

By Atl Lady

September 12, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

Truth As a reformed ho, I think it is situational more than a fact. I hoed around in my youth because sex was a new feel good thing I felt I needed the practice because momma and ‘em acted like it was something forbidden. Usually when a woman calls a man a dog IMO it has more to do with his attitude towards women in general. No woman is anything to him in his pschye but just sex and he treats them accordingly. There usually are no relationship like factors anywhere in the picture. Women usually try some form of relationship like pattern in which they at least spend time with him even if it’s just to shop.

By Bre'

September 12, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

atlady I don’t have a large circle of friends and associates. However though I know of at least 3 with a possible 4 of women pregant by men whom are married where the wife has no clue. So trust me people are not talking even if there is a child on the other end of things. However if a women becomes preggers its pretty hard to hide from the husband the child might not be his if it comes out looking nothing like him.

By [yelo*]

September 12, 2008 12:41 PM | Link to this

Wise Diva

i know i’m so late on this but admitting to an affair(s) is crucial. it gives credibility and demonstrates to the person your seeing that you’ve taken resposibility for bullsh*t you pulled in the past.

My current girlfriend knows even when I’m put in situations where other women try to tempt me, I COUNT THAT COST!

On the flipside, if you do genuinely care about the person and you haven’t made the necessary changes to your value system, than at least give them the choice to take that risk. It’s not fair to them and it’s selfish of anyone who chooses to withold that.

By Leon Phelps

September 12, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

* Truth* “Tell that chick before you do it. “I agree and that is what i have done and would do. BUt I am just saying in the even that some poor dude gets sat down at the table in a smoke filled room with the spot light on him.. don’t admit nuttin’ unless you got your bag packed and in the car (with a couple buddies guarding the car just in case) when a woman gets the confession all h3ll breaks loose. BUt admitting is really the right thing to do.. LoL
This is not a court of law women who offer plea deals always renig on them… don’t believe a word of it even if its in writing… LoL If you admit to it you should just leave immediately, that’s what is best for all parties, even if she asks you to stay still run and don’t look back, you will pay if you stay.

I like that… ” You will pay if you stay”

Leon Phelps does not advocate or condone cheating, this was all for your entertainment purposes only…..

By DB

September 12, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

It’s funny that I happened to notice this blog today. I just stepped over the line recently with a nice ladyfriend of mine. Okay… me and my ladyfriend was having a coversation about freaky things we’ve done in the past. NOTE TO FELLAS: THIS IN NOT A GOOD CONVO TO HAVE! Okay… I’ve had a few drinks so I’m feeling wide open (bad move already). She’s saying simple things like s*x on the beach and role playing; you know, women stuff. I unfortunately mentioned that I’ve been in several 3sums. Ooooppss… Dumb move! NOTE TO FELLAS: if you ever had those types of opportunities before; keep it to yourself when you talk to ladies! A brotha’s in the dog house right now…

By wRENN

September 12, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

@Foots, what’s happening?! hope your day is going good…

Lol at some of these posts…Like i was saying the other day about the guy who said he couldn’t control his sexual urges and got a woody sometimes under the table when he was talking to his grandma of all people…That’s the kind of disclosure one needs to know because that behavior let me know I’m outta here jack, he was not my type…

@Truth, well don’t get nervous over the cotton balls I just felt that was a neutral spot in the grocery store…lol

I am an animal lover as well Truth, I currently have an AKC registered 15 year old female schnauzer…I had two at one time but was never interested in breeding just good ole fashion companionship, they say people with pets live longer…but i feel ya on making that chiching, dolla dolla bills yall…

I don’t date people who don’t like animals, that is something i want to be disclosed upfront because i wouldn’t want them to kick the animal while i’m out the room…lol

By Raqi

September 12, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

the �expert� said that it is good to admit to the affair, and as early as possible. Do you agree with that?

You know WiseDiva some days I think I would want to know and then other days I feel I would rather not.

By DB

September 12, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

It’s funny that I happened to notice this blog today. I just stepped over the line recently with a nice ladyfriend of mine. Okay… me and my ladyfriend was having a coversation about freaky things we’ve done in the past. NOTE TO FELLAS: THIS IN NOT A GOOD CONVO TO HAVE! Okay… I’ve had a few drinks so I’m feeling wide open (bad move already). She’s saying simple things like s*x on the beach and role playing; you know, women stuff. I unfortunately mentioned that I’ve been in several 3sums. Ooooppss… Dumb move! NOTE TO FELLAS: if you ever had those types of opportunities before; keep it to yourself when you talk to ladies! A brotha’s in the dog house right now…

By [yelo*]

September 12, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

DB

(LMaO!) you a fool for that one, dawg! i’ll blame it on the liquor because i don’t believe you would have made that mistake if you were sober.

the lesson from this story: it’s best to conduct these moments WITHOUT the presence of alcohol.

By crcole0956

September 12, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

But if you don’t tell all of your nasty little secrets, how will you discover that you share in interest in group sex?

Don’t be a prude. Don’t judge, just spill!

By Purple One

September 12, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

some things should be left better unsaid…i recently ‘hooked up’ with an ex, someone i’ve known for 30 years and well, he turned out to be a liar as far as his current situation but N-E-way, he told me he had slept with a ‘friend’ of mine and he apologized, when we were in college and when we weren’t together and he wanted to know if i’d slept with any of his friends and i was like, omg, that is just off limits, period…he could have kept that to himself b/c i’m still ‘good friends’ with that friend and she doesn’t know i know but it irks me to know that she got naked with him, even though it is like 25 years since that happened! Everyone has their own family and stuff now and we were young but you just don’t do that!

By Leon Phelps

September 12, 2008 12:55 PM | Link to this

Demi As I said yesterday most men don’t do anything with the intention of hurting the woman they are with… all people are selfish to a degree and sometime we do things for our own pleasure without thinking about the damage it can do to others close to us.. whether its s3x, drugs, or driving too fast on the highway. I will go ahead and tell my story for you bloggers who weren’t here 2-3 years ago when I last told the story.

I was with a young lady for about 2 years, I told her that I wanted to “spend more time with her” (if you know what i mean) we were in college she lived with her parents so I did not want to “spend time with her” at her folks house, beyond the occassional dinner or what not. BUt she would give lame excuses like she didn’t feel like driving, or she was tired, etc. And after a few months of that another young lady showed interest, and we ended up having a little fling… this dude who liked my girl at the time apparently saw me going to the other chick’s house and he ratted me out to make himself look good. OK so I denied, denied, denied everything was cool.. I broke up with her later and I admitted at this point that I had in fact cheated on her…Later she wanted to get back together So after a few months apart we got back together ( huge mistake)… and for the next few months my life was miserable everything that happened in my life related to me cheating on her that time. I could not go to the gas station without cheating… THis is only 1 story I have eye witness testimony in several others. I was younger and now I would handle things much more different than I did in the past… ok.. dang… and yes I left out a whole lot of details… but you get the point..

By Foots

September 12, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this

Wise I watched the show and that man’s stats were amazing. He said that 92% of men cheated basically because they felt underappreciated, had a bruised ego, needed attention, etc. And they never told their wives what they needed, they just fell into something with another woman, not usually based on sex.

I think that if things get a little too comfortable and I start slacking on the ego-building comments, if given the option between making the needed adjustments and having dude cheat, I’d make the needed adjustments. It’s very sad that a man can’t open his mouth to tell his woman what he needs from her. He’d rather disrupt the family that he signed up for in order to get his needs met somewhere else instead of going to his wife and having a tough conversation. They want to appear so strong and that they have everything under control to their woman while breaking down in another woman’s arms or basking in the praise and admiration other woman is giving him.

It took me a while to really listen to Cherrelle’s “Everything I Miss At Home”. I thought it was just a pretty song, until I really got into it. She says:

You give me attention, you’re someone who understands my needs, a man who is senstive. Everything I miss at home. You know how to hold me, and do all the things I want to feel. Inside of each tender kiss, I get everything I miss at home.

I’m of the camp where cheating is not justified. If you’re not getting what you need most, tell your mate. If they don’t hear you, tell them again. Go to counseling, figure it out. If they refuse to meet your reasonable needs, it’s time to go. Why drag a whole family down cause you can’t open your mouth?

By the way, you can download Neuman’s book at Oprah.com for free. It will be available until 7 PM tonight.

By Bre'

September 12, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this

Out of the box thinking

If its so hard for humans to remain with one person sexually after getting married, why fight against the grain? I mean really you are saying to yourself, the other person, before people and a higher being(whatever you choice to believe) that for the rest of your natural life you are only going to toss it up with one person? Just seems like a huge pill to swallow without really knowing all the side effects.

I’m just sayin….if the divorce rate is so high with a large portion of it leaning on the fact of cheating. Is it really……hmmmmm I don’t know…..

By Poppa Grande

September 12, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

One more thing off topic:

Tickets for Maxwell’s November 12, 2008 Show at the Atlanta Civic Center just went on sale today in live nation.

Jazmine Sullivan is also part of the show.

By Beautiful

September 12, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

the �expert� said that it is good to admit to the affair, and as early as possible. Do you agree with that?

i would want to know asap. or as soon as he thinks it’s over. i don’t want to catch you cheating like i caught my ex. i would have loved for him to come to me on his knees and begged for my forgiveness. i wouldn’t believe a word, but i still would have wanted to see MORE of him kissing my toochie. lol. everyone makes mistakes and every man deserves a 2nd chance (except mine).

By NY2GA, Inc.

September 12, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

but women who get their dude to admit to cheating don�t just leave.. no they do major damage and then they may or may not leave�

Correct! Why should I leave when I can stick around and throw salt in the wound-it’s therapeutic for me.

By Atl Lady

September 12, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

Bre’ I’m just running with the notion of what he was saying and taking it to the extreme. If your man is a don’t ask don’t tell person, how would he handle that situation? His MO is to not confess at any cost. He expects his woman not to confess at any cost. The women you’re describing knew what they were doing to be involved with a married man. The secret is safe for now, but the whole child support and spending time with their fathers is going to become an issue.

By Foots

September 12, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

All you cooks out there If a recipe calls for Red or Burgundy Wine, what is a good kind to get?

By Purple One

September 12, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

only tix left for Maxwell are in the nosebleed section…i was online for over 1.5 hours and kept getting bumped out and i got orchestra seats at the back! but i’ll be in the place but i was not paying $150 for old boy…for Prince, but not Maxwell…

By CN

September 12, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

Any STDS should definitely be kept to yourself.

By Leon Phelps

September 12, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

attention I am just being silly today for the most part… I do not cheat (anymore) just passing on the tips to anyone who may still be into that sort of thing… (just kidding) ha! ha!.. see I am laughing.

Ladies of BlogvilleOn another alightly related topic, I have met more women now who come at dudes with the whole let’s be together but we can still have sex with other people type of deal… Is this a result of dudes running that game on them in the past? Is this a set up to see where a dude’s head is at? Or are chick turning the corner to really start to think like men??? LoL

let’s wrap this discussion up by 1:30 I gotta run to a company sponsored happy hour that starts at 2:00 yes working hard does have its occassional perk here and there.

By JtJ

September 12, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

Hi Foots, Thanks for concurring�� Yes, both our names will be on the mortgage��currently the house we live in now is only in his name�.(Hence, why I am even more eager to get one together) My point exactly is that I need to know cause I was putting together a budget so we can cut some expenses and set a goal for how much we want to put down on the new home. We both opened CD accounts and he admitted he has not contributed any since we opened the accounts. IDK?-it is not like I want to know every detail, just when things change so we can adjust accordingly and stay on each other about frivolous spending.

By Atl Lady

September 12, 2008 1:11 PM | Link to this

Foots Only cook with a wine that you like to drink. I’ve coooked with Beringer and a South African wine called Chocolate Bloc.

By QC

September 12, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MO

Have a great weekend everyone!

By JtJ

September 12, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this

Hi Foots, Thanks for concurring�� Yes, both our names will be on the mortgage��currently the house we live in now is only in his name�.(Hence, why I am even more eager to get one together) My point exactly is that I need to know cause I was putting together a budget so we can cut some expenses and set a goal for how much we want to put down on the new home. We both opened CD accounts and he admitted he has not contributed any since we opened the accounts. IDK?-it is not like I want to know every detail, just when things change so we can adjust accordingly and stay on each other about frivolous spending.

By The Blogger formerly known as Kym

September 12, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this

I do believe that there are certain things that you should only reveal on a need to know basis..which means if you dont need to know..I aint telling. But things of a serious, health nature or genetic family issues..of course should be shared.

What always bugs me is when we(people in general) ask the person of interest..so what did you do that was wild and freaky and when they tell us(people in general) we go into shock. I mean Bubble Gump Shrimp!!! you asked so deal with the answer.

GO STEELER NATION!!!!!!!!

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

@Demi

Don’t you hate that sins of the father’s legacy..lol.

@ATL Lady

I think you are correct about it being more how a man’s attitude comes off in regard to the perception of women…I once had a dude tell me that poonie was cheaper than chicken or that he could get poonie when he could not get a .59 Mickey Dee’s hamburger…and I was like…okay, so you really have a low opinion of women and their value as ppl…he seemed to think he was paying us a compliment by saying our golden aura was so common…yeah, right.

By Leon Phelps

September 12, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

Foots it was taught to me that it don’t really matter since the cooking process will change the wine’s flavor so much you can’t tell what you started with anyway… but I still stay away from the very cheap stuff i.e. anything that comes in a size larger than 750 ml.. LoL probably a good 6-$10 bottle should do you good. Depending upon the meat in the dish you may want to select a wine that pairs with that meat so you can drink the rest with dinner and it might help the dish taste a lil bit better. You can do a google search to see what wines pair with what meats or pastas.

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

@Foots

I use a Merlot or Red Zinfindel…full body reds like that are good…and not too expensive…Oak Leaf ahs been on sale at the Wal-Marts here for $2.97/750 bottle and I use the merlot for cooking…not to palatable for drinking…but adds cook flavor to my red wine recipes…or Vendange is another vinter that is good and reasonable priced.

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 1:18 PM | Link to this

I broke up with her later and I admitted at this point that I had in fact cheated on her� Why would you admit that at that time. Hell, you could have taken that one to the grave….oh well, today’s topic (LOL)

By JtJ

September 12, 2008 1:19 PM | Link to this

Hi Foots, Thanks for concurring�� Yes, both our names will be on the mortgage��currently the house we live in now is only in his name�.(Hence, why I am even more eager to get one together) My point exactly is that I need to know cause I was putting together a budget so we can cut some expenses and set a goal for how much we want to put down on the new home. We both opened CD accounts and he admitted he has not contributed any since we opened the accounts. IDK?-it is not like I want to know every detail, just when things change so we can adjust accordingly and stay on each other about frivolous spending.

By Purple One

September 12, 2008 1:19 PM | Link to this

everyone’s temperament is different and i thank God for those that forgive on a whim b/c that keeps like minds together…i don’t believe in giving 2nd chances for stuff you know is wrong, period. i can’t fake the funk so he would never touch me again so what would be the point…we just be roommates and split bills? keep it moving…one strike rule on that issue. other things may be forgiven but when you know the rules up front, a 2nd chance…i’m not falling for the okey doke like that! we BOTH knew the rules that were discussed and when you go against what is not assumed, then there is no excuse. I don’t care if it is 20 minutes vs. 20 years, and I speak from experience, 0 children to 10 children, I love myself way too much to be played like that…not an option. see ya, bye!

By Wise Diva

September 12, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this

It�s very sad that a man can�t open his mouth to tell his woman what he needs from her - @ Foots. That’s the part I kept getting hung up on too, that didn’t sit well with me, slightly copout-ish

By Demi

September 12, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this

But she would give lame excuses like she didn�t feel like driving, or she was tired, etc…SIGNS SHE WAS NOT INTO YOU, lol

Leon I take it you are in your thirties now? I do understand were you are coming from…I tried to become a cheater in my younger days, but I could never juggle more than 3 women at a time, nor could I keep my lies straight. I am pretty sure with more practice I could’ve become a good pimp or player…but I am too dang gone lazy to manage h0ez.

Had I known Wise or Bre’ back in the day, I would have had them managing them h0ez for me. With the profit being spit 60/40

*Wise and Bre’ are now joining forces to beat a Demi down to the bone marrow, for coming up with good idea at a bad time.

Got the body of a goddess Got eyes with a peak of brown eyes see you girl Droppin Low She Comin Down from the ceiling To tha floo Yea She Know what she doin Yea yea yea She doin that right thang Yea yea yea yea ea I Need to get her over to my crib and do that night thang Cause I’m N Luv wit a stripper

By Foots

September 12, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this

JtJ Hence, why I am even more eager to get one together

Has he said why he hasn’t put any money into the CD? A lot of people are passive-aggressive. If y’all agreed to put the money in, but he hasn’t put anything in, he’s saying that he’s not committed to what you are doing without actually saying it.

Your comment above says that you’re the eager one to get a bigger house (note that in your first post, you didn’t say a house that you could be in together and own together, you specified BIGGER which means more expensive). Dude is probably fine with where he is and what he’s paying now. Try asking him if he really wants to move or if he’s just going along with you.

By MLL

September 12, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

I have met more women now who come at dudes with the whole let�s be together but we can still have sex with other people type of deal� Is this a result of dudes running that game on them in the past? Is this a set up to see where a dude�s head is at? Or are chick turning the corner to really start to think like men???* leon it could be a combination of all above….

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

@ATL Lady and LP

Most chefs that I have worked with, including the one I am living with now, say the the cheaper wines make decent cooking wines…the palate may not be accommodating to drink…too much tannin…to bitter,etc…but they add the same wine essentials to the recipe as any other type…which is why so many use them…a good wine is more about palate than cost…the Hungarians are very inexpensive, but they have a good palate…as are the French and Italian Dry Red table wines…but I still believe that the only good Carbernet is the high end because of the lessened amount of tannin in the palate…heck, you can buy Burgundy cooking wine and get red wine flavor…done that too…just can drink it when I cook with it…lol

By Wise Diva

September 12, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

hey KIR! JtJ, good to see a returning MIA blog reader commenting! LOL

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

Not very expensive Sutter Home Red Rose! Merlot is good for cooking w/but not drinking (too bitter for me).

By Leon Phelps

September 12, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

ah hem clearing my throat and takig another sip of cognac.

It appears that we are back at the point of love vs. s3x. Men who cheat do not necessarily want their relationship to be over, they may still love their woman, but as some of the reading material mentions suggests there is something missing. Now it is the dude’s fault if he does not ever discuss his needs, I see no reason that a man can’t do that. But in the cases where he does discuss his desires and his woman is unwilling to adjust some things, its not so cut and dry to say just leave… 1. that can be expensive if married 2. No man wants to break up a family due to sexual wants.

So in many cases the easy way out is to cheat and in some other cases ( and we all know this is true) the cheating can make the marriage run more smoothly since wife is happy that she can not have to do anything she does not want to do, and the hubby is getting his needs met. Now I know some folks will disagree and say that cheating is never good, but there are cases where it can save a family… the marriage may not be the best but the family as a whole can still be stronger than it would be if there were a divorce. This is rare, but it happens.

question If you had the discussion with your partner about their s3xual desires and at the end you never came to 100% agreement on what will happen would you not suspect that they are getting their needs met somewhere else? What do you do after the talk if you don’t both see things eye to eye, but you also are not ready to break up the relationship?

By MELO

September 12, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

when I was in my early 20�s I made out in the grave yard

Now thats some crazzy shyyt right there…who knows,ur partner may have been a ghost..are u for real. I.ah ah ah.i..i..i(statturing) do have secrets,unless she finds out,iam taking that to my grave…lol Some crazy i did early on…my very 1st experience fugging a girl was on a very public thorough fare,i cldnt wait, i just ripped the panties and f*** like a rabbit for 20 or so seconds and my nut cracked….i cldnt believe it…. that i was a real man…it was such an exhilaratuing experience.I just dismissed the girl, then ran back to my buddies to tell them the news.

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 1:29 PM | Link to this

JtJ, pls. do not say hello to Foots anymore (too funny)!

Or are chick turning the corner to really start to think like men??? Been thinking like you dudes for some time now.

By Foots

September 12, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

Leon Women say that because they don’t want to be hurt. They don’t want to expect fidelity because the last time they did that, they were hurt. So they act like it’s not important to them.

It’s the same reason why women are now coming with that “I don’t want a relationship right now” mess when they really do, and having to eat those words in a few weeks when they admit that they would like to be in a relationship with that man.

Thanks for your cooking prowess and tips!!

ATL Lady/m’karyl Thanks ladies. Okay, Beringer is in the running. I like their White Zinfandel, but I’m not a big red wine drinker, so I know nothing about them.

I am cooking a surprise dinner that’s a little more fancy and requires more effort than usual. I am going to bite the Coq Au Vin broth recipe from Melting Pot to cook vegetables in (Broccoli and mushroom caps) and it uses red wine. We’re having salmon, so I guess we’ll drink Moscato (my favorite). I’ve never cooked with wine before so any help is appreciated.

By Wise Diva

September 12, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

@AtlLady, Mkaryl, Foots, have any of you ever tried preparing mussels in a white wine sauce before?

By Leon Phelps

September 12, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this

Demi Leon was never a “player” I wasn’t juggling 3, 4, 5 women… just 2 and the side lady knew I had a main lady, and the main lady was told I need more of her time, but she wouldn’t give it to me…

Leon is signing off, but he will check the blog this weekend to see what response were posted.

Oh and Leon is still 28,

By Leon Phelps

September 12, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

FootsI like just about all “red” ZInfandels, Beringer is about the best one you can pick up at a regular grocery store. ( I never tried cooking with it but I likes ta drank it) … and you are welcome.

By wRENN

September 12, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this

@ Beautiful -what’s happening!

@ Truth -Ladies, I have a question. Why is it when a man sleeps around he�s a dog but no matter how much azz you sling your not a ho? This baffles me.

That is the question of all questions the old cliche’ Truth that one a ho always a ho…as we all know that ain’t so!

So here’s a question to your question, why is it that men get slapped high fives when another notch is added to their belts but women are deemed as loose or easy or a trick?

The better scenario is that as we age, doing the do becomes easier especially if the attraction is high… But and I speak with all honesty, I have alot of celebacy (sp) because I view my body as a temple and not just any ole blow joe can get some just cause he likes what he sees…

So in actuality both sexes can be deemed as hoes, it’s just when a woman is more freely it’s like the visa commercial everybody is swiping their visa cards and along comes a check and everybody stops and stares…

By MELO

September 12, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this

Oh and another one…10 years ago, i ws playing tennis with my buddy.This married woman,whose husband i knew got attracted to me.So my other lady friend hooked us up.The lady vixited meat my house together with my lady friend and left there for me to service her. I did and then followed that up with a visit to her house when her husband was outa town.I f*** her in their bed and then took a shower together with her.!!!And then 2 days later, i had an STD. That floored me….and why i wld never want to do a married wman again,ever.If she is loose like that, she proly fcking everybody.I always remember that experience.

By Foots

September 12, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this

Kym Bubble Gump Shrimp!!!

LOL!! Kym, you still trying not to cuss??

Thanks Leggs! I think that with all I have to buy to cook this fancier meal, it would be cheaper to take dude out. LOL! I need to be more experimental in cooking anyway.

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 1:37 PM | Link to this

@WD

Yes…I like to place white wine, minced garlic and minced shallots in a pot…put the mussels in and let them steam open and simmer, maybe throw in some chopped basil ath the end…btw, Ray’s in the City has one of the best Seafood pasta dishes with a white wine and garlic broth…shrimp, scallops and mussels…yum…and plenty of bread to sop the broth…uh-huh.

By Demi

September 12, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

Purple One long time no read and you know dude has bills to pay, LOL

M’K I am so hating on your generation right now!! Demi wants some free love too!!

My nephew getting known and starting to talk Now my mom’s gotta sit and she can’t walk No high school diploma But I know math Ain’t write one song and she still want half Dad beat dad is what the media say Best father in the world is what my son’s saying Won’t stop til you roll, that’s what his mom’s going to say But hey That’s the type of game you play The media talk so bad about me The streets doing so bad without me Can’t band the snowman This is thug motivation is just part of the program

By Leon Phelps

September 12, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this

Foots if you like Moscato, try to find Moscato D’Asti, its slightly sparkling… not quite as fizzy as champagne but its still got the great moscato taste. Probably won’t find it at a grocery store but any wine shop should have it. But be careful though a lot of folks are not into sweet wines like that moscato is high on the sweetometer. might want to break him in with a Reisling first…

By wRENN

September 12, 2008 1:40 PM | Link to this

I have a question that is sort of on the topic but it does involve the topic of disclosure…

my next door neigbhor has been cutting my lawn for 5 years mostly for free because everytime i would knock to pay, his wife is like girl don’t worry about that…

mean while the husband on his own notion thought that by continuing to cut my grass that some day I would suddenly open my back door to let him in for a quickie!

well when i finally disclosed the fact that i would never sleep with him for any reason, he stopped cutting the grass…

should i disclose the reason to his wife as to why as she recently asked? she and i are not really friends just neighbors, she so damn moody i never know which personality is going to answer the door…

By The Blogger formerly known as Kym

September 12, 2008 1:42 PM | Link to this

Foots Yes I am…pretty hard now that my sleep quotient is down. I swear by the time I lay down the alarm is going off again.

I see there is a episode of cheaters going on here today.The one topic that will not die

By i'm swiss

September 12, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this

“What always bugs me is when we(people in general) ask the person of interest..so what did you do that was wild and freaky and when they tell us(people in general) we go into shock. I mean Bubble Gump Shrimp!!! you asked so deal with the answer.”

@Kym — Exactly. Never ask a question unless you can handle the answer.

“You want the TRUTH?!?! YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!” lol

By Foots

September 12, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

Leon If you had the discussion with your partner about their s3xual desires and at the end you never came to 100% agreement on what will happen would you not suspect that they are getting their needs met somewhere else?

If I’m dealing with a mature man who I trust and who has said he would be faithful, no, I would not suspect him. That’s what trust is about. Mature people learn that they can’t have everything they want. There is an opportunity cost involved when making decisions.

Because the research suggests that most cheating is an emotional decision (92% ego-driven, she’s not giving me enough attention) instead of a sexual one, those situations based on just sexual needs not being met seem to be rare. Those are that small percent of men who just want sex and can’t be with just one woman. Nothing that his woman can do will keep him from being out there.

Wise I don’t like mussels. Grew up in South Georgia, we knew oysters, but not mussels. Once I tried them, I didn’t like the flavor.

Leggs pls. do not say hello to Foots anymore (too funny)!

What did I do?? LOL!! I ain’t really posted all week trying to get my financials out. I got blog diarrhea!

I’m just saying, a lot of dudes go along to get along, when they’d rather do something else. I know mine does. I can tell when he’s doing it because he’ll say “I know that’s what you want to do, so we’ll do that”. JUST SAY NO!!! LOL!

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

@Foots

I highly recommend Vendange over Beringer…Sebastiani bought out Vendange several years ago as a direct competitor and then marketed the vinter to compete with Beringer because it had a better palate…fyi…learned this from a wine supplier.

By Purple One

September 12, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

@ Demi 1:38 PM; I know huh but he forgets that we ALL are in a recession…$150?! He puts on a great show and I’ve missed him but we ain’t getting together afterward! Only Prince would get that out of me at this time…or any other time.

By Demi

September 12, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

Leon Same difference knee-gro, LOL…you have a good weekend dude!

So here�s a question to your question, why is it that men get slapped high fives when another notch is added to their belts

It’s a sign of respect.

but women are deemed as loose or easy or a trick?

Because it’s a sign of no self-respect.

By MELO-Relationship Expert

September 12, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

wRENN,in the wife’s mind,her husband has fugged u already…if u go there to tell her of what u know,she wil take it as a confession and an attempt to make peace.You may not like how u look in the mirror after that encounter. Remember, she is moody coz she thinks u single girls are out to get her man and her man tastes so good in her mind…so tread carefully…. Leave it alone!

By Dollar Bill

September 12, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

@wRENN….you should have let him cut that grass…hell he prolly not getting anything at home

and i am taking alot to my grave….i tend my graveyard very well….lol

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this

Melo, pretty sure you put a smile on Hot Mama’s face. M’karyl might have uttered a snicker as well. Did you m’karyl. With him, nothing surprises me…NADA!

By MELO-Relationship Expert

September 12, 2008 1:55 PM | Link to this

i can come cut ur grass tho……Wrenn for this advice…

By Foots

September 12, 2008 1:56 PM | Link to this

Leon He actually bought Moscato D�Asti for me once. I liked the bubbly sensation. It was a good pick.

wRENN should i disclose the reason to his wife as to why as she recently asked

Wait until you’re in a confrontational mood and go tell her. Like when your cramps turn you into Linda Blair from the Exorcist or something. LOL!

By kimmie

September 12, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

Wise - I’ve never prepared it, but mussels in white wine sauce is one of my favorites! I got some good ones at Garrisons restaurants. I’ve seen it done on tv and it appears to be quite easy so I am sure I’ve be doing them one day!

Foots - Cooking with wine is wonderful! I concur, Beringer is a good inexpensive wine to cook with. I especially like cooking beef in a red/burgundy wine, the wine just seems to set the beef off! Of course, the alcohol cooks off and you are left with the flavor. An easy stew that I do in the crock pot when it’s cold - Mix 2 pounds stew beef with 1 envelope of Lipton onion soup mix, a little fresh ground pepper, small can slices or whole mushrooms and 1 can of cream of mushroom soup mixed with 3/4 cup of red/burgundy wine. Place mixture in crock pot for about 4 or 5 hours on low. Serve over rice or noodles! Delish and easy!

By MELO-Relationship Expert

September 12, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

I knw my wife had no number when i met her but i will never tell her that my number, if i lined them up,wld beat the largest line at Home depot the day before the hurricane hits Tampa……long and winding.But she is always intigued coz aftr a session she may say hew… daddy..hehe,where did u learn that I never answer altho in my mind i will be saying,practice makes perfect She is the happy recipient!!

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

Foots, her post to you came across 3x. That’s why I jokingly said stop saying hello!

Moscato D�Asti!!! Now, that sounds really good. Moscato is extremely sweet and I was drinking it for awhile, but had to stop. Didn’t know they had a bubbly version like Asti Spumante.

By Dollar Bill

September 12, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

So here�s a question to your question, why is it that men get slapped high fives when another notch is added to their belts

men dont do this…because when know when a women is interested its if you have sex but when…and how often….if you over 25 you should know when you going to split yams or when you just holding her attention until the dudes shows up that will

but women are deemed as loose or easy or a trick?

Only those “nice guys” obesses over this…most real men know that women have needs just like the next man and just likes to get there fun fluck on er now and then…whats the problem….and the funny part is that women are eazy…we just talk ourselves out the puddy……thats the funny part…..

By kimmie

September 12, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this

m’karyl - I’ve always been curious about Vendange - thanks for the tip!

By Demi

September 12, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this

Purple One which is why I do not have a lot of respect for most entertainers, them Bishes just be milking the cow. It’s a small wonder why the bootleg biz is going strong.

Prince does not count…His shows are off the charts!!!

We’re all excited But we don’t know why Maybe it’s cuz We’re all gonna die

And when we do (When we do) What’s it all 4 (What’s it all 4) U better live now Before the grim reaper come knocking on your door

Tell me, are we gonna let de-elevator bring us down Oh, no let’s go!

Let’s go crazy Let’s get nuts Look 4 the purple banana ‘Til they put us in the truck, let’s go!

C’mon baby Let’s get nuts Yeah Crazy

Let’s go crazy

By Chink

September 12, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this

Truth

Quick question what classifies as “hoe” behavior?

If I call a man a dog it means that he has been a liar and trying fk my friends and etc …basically I feel betrayed by him.

I have heard men call girls “hoes” in the street just to make them feel bad not necessarily because she sleeping around more likely because she “aint” sleeping with you…

On Topic Not really taking anything to the grave ..I am a open book…

I remember I was talking to this dude who would always respond with “oh you will know in due time” Nah buddy I aint wasting my time in order for you start showing your “true” self …immediately I think you have something to hide.

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

@Foots

You mean at Melo’s unexpected surprise…remember me after I am gone gift…lol…

By MELO-Relationship Expert

September 12, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

That�s why arbitrary timelines don�t work for me. Let adults who are comfortable making their own decisions ive alwayz admired and liked girlz like u tho,coz thats hw i roll.If it sounds good,lets fugg,why fake and yet we here rubbing our noses and giving each other soft kisses coz we really digg each other…adults must awlays behave like adults.When the girlz starts acting and faking and putting a timeline,i lose interest.I like spontaneous wmen coz i am.I missed a flight one time coz i really wanted to fugg thi girl so bad and the flight crew wld not delay their flight a lil bit just to accomodate my concerns. I just said fugg it and paid more to get home in time for Thankgiving!!

By Hot Mama

September 12, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

I have not been able to blog like I want to….cuzzzzz they all over me today. “Can you do this?, can you do that?, I hate to disturb you Hot Mamma, but I need this.” My thang is this if you hate to disturb, why the heya you doing it, nawh, yo azz like to disturb folk. So people need to stop sayin dat shyte.

By kimmie

September 12, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

I LOVE PRINCE! The nasty Prince too, from back in the day! Been to see him 4 times, camped out for tickets the 1st time! Will always love him, I like his “pimp” walk in his high heels and that smooth voice!

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 2:19 PM | Link to this

@Kimmie

Yeah, We used to sell the Vendange Chardonnay at the Chef’s Grille in Midtown…but I was into Columbia Crest (Washington State, still a good one) back then so I never tried the Vendange…but one day a supplier at Cub Foods turned me onto the red’s (gave me a few sample bottles)…been drinking it ever since…about 15 years now…still do not do the Cab…but the Merlot, Zinfindel (Red) and Chardonnay…also, if you ever go to Whoel Foods check out a brand called White Horse…I believe that is it…great chardonnay for the money…buy two bottles…one is just tease…lol

By Demi

September 12, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

Chink are things cool with you? You are starting to read like Staceye a bit.

Demi is now packing his bag and going on a real Safari…The hunt for the real Chink is on!!!

U need another lover U know there ain’t no other U need another lover like u need a hole in yo head Hole in yo head. Hole in yo head U need another lover like u need a hole, a hole, a hole, a hole U need another lover U know there ain’t no other

There’s gonna be a riot, if u don’t clap your hands, if u don’t make that funky stand. Everybody. U know there ain’t no other

By i'm swiss

September 12, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this

@Demi (and anyone else interested) — Speaking of Prince, I’ve got a bootleg that I recorded from his show at Philips a few years back. It’s not the best sound quality I’ve ever gotten on a bootleg (largely because I had nosebleed seats), but the energy of the show really comes across. Check it out, if interested. You’ll be asked for a username & password — use:

username: superfreak

password: jenny8675309

There’s other stuff up there as well, but the other stuff is pretty much all “whiteboy” music (as my fiance calls it). :-)

Enjoy…

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

Yes at his unexpected surprise. I asked if you uttered a snicker.

Cafe Zinfindel (Gallo) is pretty good for cooking and inexpensive.

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

@Chink

I remember I was talking to this dude who would always respond with �oh you will know in due time� Nah buddy I aint wasting my time in order for you start showing your �true� self �immediately I think you have something to hide.**

Yep, that it too much game and noise…I knew some one liek that and it was the same line and I was like you…buh-bye.

By Demi

September 12, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

Only those �nice guys� obesses over this�most real men know that women have needs just like the next man and just likes to get there fun fluck on er now and then�whats the problem

@Kimmie

I clocked the jizz from a friend Of yours named Vanessa Bet (Bet) She said u told her a fantasy That got her all wet (Wet) Something about a little box with a Mirror and a tongue inside What she told me then got me so hot I knew that we could slide

Gett off - 23 positions in a 1 night stand Gett off - I’ll only call u after if u say I can Gett off - let a woman be a woman and a man be a man Gett off - I u want 2 baby here I am (Here I am)

Gett off (Gett off)

By Foots

September 12, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

No Melo, let’s be clear. I don’t do it just because the mood strikes. I want to have feelings and time invested with a man I want to share myself with. What I said is that people who try to not make sex the focus by not having sex, are actually making sex the focus by not having sex if it alters their routine and interaction with each other. In those cases, if you feel you know the person well enough and can handle the consequences of your decision, then act accordingly as adults, not by some random date on the calendar.

You’re saying “random fugg cause you feel like it”. Not the same thing.

By Chink

September 12, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

Demi

I have never been happier …I hope I am not sounding…bitter…or something.

I am good ..though if you are wondering! If I told you the whole story on dude you would understand…he wasnt about anything.

Hey I found a another spot on Lawrenceville Hwy Lilburn ..actually they had a BBQ on labor day ..it was cool ..I was interviewed onhaitian TV for comcast…

By kimmie

September 12, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

Demi - We could have a party and play nothing but Prince!

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

Too funny Demi. I don’t know one song you post.

By Dollar Bill

September 12, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

What I said is that people who try to not make sex the focus by not having sex, are actually making sex the focus by not having sex if it alters their routine and interaction with each other. In those cases, if you feel you know the person well enough and can handle the consequences of your decision, then act accordingly as adults, not by some random date on the calendar.

^^yeah what she said!!!

By MLL

September 12, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

Demi Darlin’, it appears 2 me that U could use a date tonight A body that’ll do U right Tell me — Am I qualified? Baby, I know it’s hard 2 believe But this body here is free tonight Your very own first class flight My plane’s parked right outside, baby Don’t U wanna go 4 a ride? yeeaaahhhh International lovr…..lemme me take U round the world awwww see what yalldon start Demi, PurpleOne and Kimmie

By MELO-Relationship Expert

September 12, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this

Foots if we go out 5 times in a month,we kissing,holding in public and really having great chemistry…my johns is gonna tell me that he’s angry dwn there.Im sure she will feel it wet dwn there too!At that rate,there really is great like and luv going either way..why not go ahead and do the do,with protection ofcourse.There are no consequences here surely if she has come this far and i have set aside time as well to spend time with her,even if its only a month..it seems like 4 motnhs coz evebody around twn sees us together.Thats no random chic this,we digging….but im open to random too tho if its wrth it….for a man,that will never hurt ,but thats a side issue. If the relationship fails in a cple of months,u cant blame it on the sexx,i think, maybe the clinging she does after and not being herself,which crowds out the guy.If wmen stopped seing themselves as victims when we fugg,there wld be happyiness allround.I fugg u,u fugg me,score is 1-1

By Purple One

September 12, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

Y’all starting something with that Prince thang! I’m over bouncing!

I was definitely at that show at Philips, went twice…don’t know how many shows I’ve been to but I’m an old head and I’ve been with him since he was ‘supposed to be’ 17…I’ve camped out, stood out, hung out, after movie Purple Rain and album, when Around The World in A Day came out on vinyl and they made them so fast that they were shipping them to Turtles, (who bout standing at that window!) and they were warpped and had to be sent back to mfg! OMG…cannot tell you how many times I saw Purple Rain at the movie theater…minimum 10 times; we didn’t have DVD’s and barely VHS, maybe only BETA at that time, LOL! the BEST entertainer EVER! My friends/family joked that I had ‘Prince Paper’ in my bedroom and not wallpaper…Still have ALL of my posters rolled up…Purple Vinyl Purple Rain album and 45 shipped from over seas…I don’t play! And I would have been over in London more recently if I had somewhere to stay besides the park bench! His coffee table book is coming out in October…watch out!

By Binford2k

September 12, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

Dollar Bill While results may vary, I think waiting for a little while does not make sex the focus.

Why not build a relationship on a more solid plane of frienship and genuinely like a person before sex (cause all guys love sex)? My experience says sex too early is an unnecessary obstacle. In time, once you build a good foundation, you can proceed to the next level.

Just my way of looking at it.

By abc

September 12, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

Some of you folks’ stories are appalling. No wonder you want to keep secrets.

KIR, it’s obvious that women in America are raised in an environment that encourages them to keep secrets and lie. Studies have been done, books written. The blog has heard me expound upon it enough; with all due respect, google it or something, you’ll find plenty of stuff about it.

By m'karyl

September 12, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

@Leggs

No chile, I hollered…lmao…and listen to his shyte he talking now with Foots…ain’t no wonder his johnson was flicted…lol

By Demi

September 12, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

Chink that’s all you need to say, glad you kick dudes 5 way’s to hell, LOL. It happens to the best of us. No you don’t sound bitter…Just a bit p1ss at us men folks.

Chink, meet ATLGUY, ATLGUY this is Chink…Chink feel free to take all of your anger on ATLGUY.

Chink is now straight Bish slapping ATLGUY

I made up my mind that imma strike and i’m ready to fight ‘igga I’m still killin every f/k ‘igga in sight, we act spite I knew you bishes didn’t wanna crawl (what they say) Big giants sweating all of ya’ll I’m the beast from the east w/ the fangs on my teeth I’ll murder all you bishes in the middle of the street And I don’t give a f/k if you don’t like me Straight knock yo a$$ out into captivity…

We some headbussas We some head bussas We’ll knock a hater out We some headbussas

By Hot Mama

September 12, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

Why is it folk like to plucking wit u, you know how you get to work and you need a few minutes to get settled. Oh no, these ofays round here don�t understand dat. Geesh!!!! So I gets to work this morning and this one ofay in particular is always happy as heya in the morning, he walking round smiling and greeting everyone first thang, wanting to talk and be all extra. (er�body round here know, I�m not a morning person, he refuses to believe it, obliviously). The other folk round here know, don�t bother Hot Mamma til bout 9:30 am.

I usually get to work bout 15 minutes early er�day�.anyway this morning, not really feeling 100%, PMS and such get me moving slow. I stop by the kitchen to drop off my snack in fridge and head to my spot, I hear someone coming up fast behind me, so I move over to let them pass. Daynum it�s him (chatter box) and he there he go talking a mile a minute bout the hurricane, gas and all kinds of random shyte. Don�t you know he had the nerve to follow me to my spot and keep talking. Heya, it aint even 8 am, so I gives him the �Hot Mamma� look and his azz keep talking. I�m putting my purse up, putting on my sweater, turning my computer on, you know getting organized for the day. This MF is still going on. So I looks him straight in the eyes and say, �Don�t come ova here no mo b4 8 am, you understand me.� He starts laughing and says �Hot Mamma� you having a bad day already. I walks away. Anyhow, after lunch his azz done went a brought me a cupcake. I ain�t eating that shyte. WTF?

By Belinda

September 12, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

as uptight as you are, abc, we all can tell you have some dirty secrets. That is probably why you seem so nuts

By SlimOne

September 12, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

YA’LL I’M OUTTA DIS PIECE! The next time I post will be from my living room. LOL! I’m going to get me a drank!

Slim now skipping to see the Wiz to ask for a job…singing Ease On Down, Ease on Down the rooooadddd!

By Mike D

September 12, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

I told a girl that I wasn’t all that into that I once shot a man in Reno - just to watch him die.

That was our last date.

By Demi

September 12, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

To All, I am laying off Prince…*because it ain’t like I will be getting any no time soon8 LOL

I see you MLL

Purple One soon as I seen your screen name, I started pulling up Prince’s song…glad to make some one’s day

Now I am going back to work!!

By abc

September 12, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

Me uptight? Far from it. I’m not a ho, though, if that’s what you mean — sex is not the single most powerful driving force in me, never has been. Well, rarely has been.

By Wise Diva

September 12, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this

We will get you through Slimone! Hang in there, I am praying for you.

Ya’ll Ike is beating down Galveston, this storm surge is going to be a beast. Praying for Texas too!

By Atl Lady

September 12, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this

Hot MammaLMAO!!!!! I’ve worked with people like that too. You just have to roll with it sometimes. AWWW He bought you a cupcake as a peace offering. He didn’t mean any harm. LOLOLOLOL I’m like you to the degree that why are they trying to work me after 3:00pm on a Friday!!!

By kimmie

September 12, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

PurpleOne - One of my best friends from college lived across the hall from me in the dorm. Every inch of her room was covered with Prince. Once of my SO’s good friends from law school is like you are about Prince too - she will travel all over to see him! She saw his show in Vegas. I saw the one at Phillips - off the chain!! When he came back a few months later I bought my sister 2 tickets for her birthday because she is a fan too! Thanks for the head’s up about the coffee table book - I think that will be some lucky folks Christmas gift!

By MELO-Relationship Expert

September 12, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

Tazz,my prayers are with u too,be safe.

By Sidelines

September 12, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

afternoon bloggers….hey Demi, Stace, waving at’cha…good reading you Demi.

Everyone have a safe weekend!

By Dollar Bill

September 12, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

@hot mamma…i see you love attention….lol…thanks for sharing….lol….if i worked with you i would fluck with you daily in the morning…grown folks kill me with there i am not a morning person…your arse is up right, good health right…stop being a fluck lazy arse and be thankful god seem fit to let you live another day

@bin2k…you joking right……lol….

By Atl Lady

September 12, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

SlimOne My prayers are with you. Been down that road a couple of times. Atl Lady pouring wine on the ground. For the jobs that ain’t there.

By Demi

September 12, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

Foots/Leggs a man who is in love can’t get any more real than this:

There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea. You became the light on the dark side of me. Love remained a drug that’s the high and not the pill.

But did you know, That when it snows, My eyes become large and, The light that you shine can be seen.

Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey. Ooh, The more I get of you Stranger it feels, yeah. And now that your rose is in bloom, A light hits the gloom on the grey.

There is so much a man can tell you, So much he can say.

You remain, My power, my pleasure, my pain. Baby, to me you’re like a growing addiction that I can’t deny Won’t you tell me is that healthy, baby?

By wRENN

September 12, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this

Foots, Melo and Dollar Bill thanks for the advice, duly noted…had a moment to sneak in here again…you all have an awesome weekend…

and no my neighbor does not get any, everytime they finally have sex she ends up pregnant again so this last time after baby number 2 but child number 5 between them, he got snipped and she got clipped…

have a good one!

By AmazonRed

September 12, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this

Hi and goodbye everyone. Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend. Blogging from the road!

As it should come as no surprise, there is nothing that I’ve done in life that I’m taking to the grave. There are some things I won’t disclose to folks, until I really know and trust them, but there is nothing in my life (thus far) that absolutely no one knows or that I would never share w/ someone else!

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

Ok, I stand corrected…that’s my favorite song by Seal. I constatntly play it.

I know you did m’karyl. I was being nice with the snicker part cuz I said WTF to myself!

By Beautiful

September 12, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this

Leon Phelps you know what i wish? on the real. i wish it was ok for men to cheat … normal like breathing. no one getting their feelings hurt, etc. they are born hunters. most men will cheat if they know they wouldn’t get caught. then we wouldn’t have to waste so much time on this blog complaining and wining about it! oh, and i’ll be living in my phat house with the pool in the back chillin’ with my boys.

wRENN hey you! happy friday.

By Demi

September 12, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this

Sidelines hey bay

MAYYYYNE, some one needs to tell Tazz to woman-up and slap the ISH outta IKA

Tazz is now tossing Demi directly into IKE’s path

By JtJ

September 12, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

Hello Foots��. Just kidding @ Leggs�.(lol). I was having some browser issue and kept getting an error message. We both want and need the bigger house, but I guess I want it more. Honey, he would be happy living in a shoebox�..He claims he will start putting more money in�.I want to help him set an amount that he would be comfortable with�.but I am blind to what his financial obligations outside the basic expenses are.

By Wise Diva

September 12, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

i wish it was ok for men to cheat, you know you always have the choice to stay with a cheating man, if you think he is such a prize to keep, why let him go? So really, to some women it IS ok for men to cheat.

By Atl Lady

September 12, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this

Beautiful In a lot of Old World countries it is as normal as breathing. The women are the only ones who can’t do the same. I thought about it at one point too. Why my mind and spirit won’t allow me to be a cheater or an unfeeling freak with an unquenching sexual thirst. Oh excuse me. Went all out in left field.

By Demigod33

September 12, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

Leon Phelps you know what i wish? on the real. i wish it was ok for men to cheat � normal like breathing. no one getting their feelings hurt, etc. they are born hunters. most men will cheat if they know they wouldn�t get caught. then we wouldn�t have to waste so much time on this blog complaining and wining about it!

I am Demigod33 and I approve of this message.

Why not build a relationship on a more solid plane of frienship and genuinely like a person before sex (cause all guys love sex)? My experience says sex too early is an unnecessary obstacle. In time, once you build a good foundation, you can proceed to the next level.

I am Demigod33 and I condemn that post.

Binford2k Dude, that is personal information. There are some things you should take to your grave, LOL.

By Demigod33

September 12, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

Leon Phelps you know what i wish? on the real. i wish it was ok for men to cheat � normal like breathing. no one getting their feelings hurt, etc. they are born hunters. most men will cheat if they know they wouldn�t get caught. then we wouldn�t have to waste so much time on this blog complaining and wining about it!

I am Demigod33 and I approve of this message.

Why not build a relationship on a more solid plane of frienship and genuinely like a person before sex (cause all guys love sex)? My experience says sex too early is an unnecessary obstacle. In time, once you build a good foundation, you can proceed to the next level.

I am Demigod33 and I condemn that post.

Binford2k Dude, that is personal information. There are some things you should take to your grave, LOL.

By Demigod33

September 12, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

i�ll be living in my phat house with the pool in the back chillin� with my boys.

Wise Diva according to the above statement. She won’t be bumping dude, but living well off his income.

most women are kool with dudes cheating ways, providing her financial needs are met…regardless of her income.

These days, more women are most financially stable than most man. To them, the only thing dudes are good for is extra activities, lol.

By Foots

September 12, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

Beautiful You can set the standard of what you accept in your own life. If you say to yourself “Men should be able to cheat, it’s as natural as breathing” enough, it will become part of how you think and operate. Tell yourself that you won’t let it hurt your feelings. Then you can go back to that man that you want, be in the house you want and swim in the pool all you want. Like Staples, that was easy.

By M'Karyl

September 12, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

Shyte…just got home…allthat talk about wine…had to stop and gets me some chardonnay…start my pre-b-day pah-tay groove on…

@Leggs

Yeah, I woulda thought he had some african root herbs for that shyte…to prevent it since it be in use so much…lmao

By Kara

September 12, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

A woman that thinks she is happy with some kids and a swimming pool and a lying piece of s*it husband is living in a dream bubble aka silly b*** syndrome. Reality checks you aren’t ready to cash doesn’t mean it won’t bounce

By Dan

September 12, 2008 4:48 PM | Link to this

@Kara

You can’t define anyone else’s happiness, just your own.

If that’s what makes her happy, leave her be with it.

By Alvin

September 12, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

Kara how you gone up and call dude a lying piece of shyt…woman up!! Dude has told you he will be unfaithful…Some American women are so slow and selfish

And why are you so bitter? And about what?

By M'Karyl

September 12, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

Reality checks you aren�t ready to cash doesn�t mean it won�t bounce

Now, I be liking that line…Kara…gonna snatch dat…k

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this

I just downloaded “The Truth About Cheating” by M. Gary Neuman. You have until 7:00 pm. to download a free copy thanks to Oprah!

By Foots

September 12, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

JtJ Honey, he would be happy living in a shoebox

Sounds like he would. Until he sees a true benefit of the change, he’ll be slow to contribute to the change. He ain’t crazy. He knows you need his financial information to know how much house you can purchase. As long as you don’t have the information, nor his money, you both stay put. Which is probably what he wants anyway.

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this

For those interested in downloading the book:

http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20080827towsbookdownload

By lurker

September 12, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this

HotMama your 3:00 LMAO…LOL

By Wise Diva

September 12, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

geez, Kara that’s harsh!

Hey thanks for the cooking responses ladies! I love Moscato too, btw. I could use a glass (or 3) right about now!

Everyone, have a wonderful weekend!

By Leggs

September 12, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this

Goodnight everyone!

**Love each other, listen to each other, level with each other and liberate each other! Life is hard. Lend a helping hand where you can!

Stay focus over the weekend!

By Alvin

September 12, 2008 5:15 PM | Link to this

Beautiful I am glad you are one of the few real and honest women in this Bish…these fake a$$ tricks are working my nerves

I am getting tired of some ladies strolling up in this camp and throwing their puddy up in the air and saying:

Look at how fresh and clean my puddy is!!!

I am still waiting for the Bish to turn into sunshine, nasty tricks.

*I will NOT repost this mess on Monday. *

By Beautiful

September 12, 2008 5:21 PM | Link to this

foots i hope you and others know that i will not live my life with a cheater. i know i have choices and i made my very clear. i just miss my home … the life i led that’s all.

bye.

By Kara

September 12, 2008 5:21 PM | Link to this

She is Real ignorant and honestly clueless and you two should should never procreate.

By Laura

September 12, 2008 6:21 PM | Link to this

some women need to rethink what brings them true happiness

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