AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2008 > September > 04 > Entry
Dating your friend’s ex?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Chatting with two of my girlfriends, I realized that they have something in common — both of them say their worst heartbreak came from dating a friend’s ex.
Their stories are similar. First, they’ll tell you that it was a mistake they made in their early 20s, something they’d never do again. Both of them dated these guys for a couple years. Each girl lost her former friend because of the relationship, and both of my buddies still seem to beat themselves up over this faux pas.
Girls can be rough on eachother, but we are also pretty dang hard on ourselves. Do guys carry the same type of guilt over this type of situation? And fellas, do you have the same territorial sense over your old flames, and have you ended friendships with guys who have dated an ex?
Would love to hear your experiences. And by the way, does dating a friend’s ex become less of an issue as we get older? Once a friend brands a lover, is said lover his or hers for life?
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Comments
By SlimOne
September 4, 2008 8:26 AM | Link to this
Good Morning
I haven’t dated a friends ex so I guess I’ll sit back and read everyone elses experiences.
I can’t wait till Saturday. Anybody else going to the UFC at Phillips this weekend?
By East Point's Own
September 4, 2008 8:43 AM | Link to this
Well I would not care if one of my friends dated an ex of mine, but I would have to question his sanity if he wants a chick with known defects… LoL ( there is a good reason she is my ex )
By M'Karyl
September 4, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this
@East P
I with you on that one…if the person is a designated “ex”, then there must be a very good reason…lol…only a fool would throw away gold…but pyrite can hit the trash…lol
By HoneyBun
September 4, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this
Morning, i never dated a friend’s ex but i’ve had sex with an ex of 2 friends.
By China Doll
September 4, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this
My friends ex’s, sibling ex’s, relatives ex’s, etc. are NEVER an option for me in the dating/sex realm.
By East Point's Own
September 4, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this
I can say that one time and one time only a very close friend hooked me up with his ex because he thought that she and I were better for each other, and it was clear that they broke up on good terms for a very specific reason. And it was not a negative reason per se.
By Sasha Two Pistols
September 4, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this
I’ve never dated a friend’s ex, and I don’t think I will either. Me and my friends have different tastes when it comes to men, so I wouldn’t even be attracted to a guy that they like in the first place.
And about getting older, I know back in highschool times this was a stern no-no. And I think it still sticks, but you do find a lot of older people who tend to bend this rule. I know I met a couple who were in their 80s and got married just a few years ago. He was actually the brother of his new wife’s deceased husband, go figure! So I definitely think when you get older the rule becomes more relaxed.
By Sasha Two Pistols
September 4, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this
I’ve never dated a friend’s ex, and I don’t think I will either. Me and my friends have different tastes when it comes to men, so I wouldn’t even be attracted to a guy that they like in the first place.
And about getting older, I know back in highschool times this was a stern no-no. And I think it still sticks, but you do find a lot of older people who tend to bend this rule. I know I met a couple who were in their 80s and got married just a few years ago. He was actually the brother of his new wife’s deceased husband, go figure! So I definitely think when you get older the rule becomes more relaxed.
vodkaandmilk.wordpress.com
By Foots
September 4, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this
I dated a friend’s ex in high school, 11th grade. Terrible experience and it nearly broke up our friendship. I did ask her if it was okay and she told me it was, I took her word for it, but she lied. It took us about three years to get back on track as friends.
Another friend dated a guy I used to date in college. She asked me how I felt about it when he asked her out and I honestly didn’t care. I was happy that she was happy. They lasted a good two years. I thought they would have ended up married.
There are a few exes of mine that are off limits and same for my friends. If I went out with a guy a few times and thought he might be better suited for my friend, I’ll try to hook it up. But men with whom we’ve had long-term relationships? No, those are off-limits. There’ll never be a shortage that would require me dating a friend’s long-term ex.
By MLL(mammalongleggs)
September 4, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this
Good morning, I’ve never dated a friends ex, there are certian lines you just don’t cross.
By Blue_Kolla
September 4, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this
Date my boy’s ex?! Hayo Naah! LMAO We all know that our women have been hit by at least one other dude and have performed f****** on at least one other dude, we just don’t want to know that dude; at least me anyway. That’s how fights get started. Check these scenarios:
I’m at a cookout with my potna, my girl (which is his ex-girl), and some other peeps… I don’t want him thinking, “Yeah I used to hit that,” all with a snide grin on his face; ‘cause personally if the situation were reversed I might be thinking the same thing.
Brothers will try you. And you know if the ex-man comes with some cruddy comment about ol’ girl, there’s probably gon’ be some trouble.
Same cookout, but after 3/4 beers, fool might get mad at his ex-man status and say some sh!t like, “So how my dyck taste?” Again, major trouble.
Fellas sitting around talking sh!t about their freak-count and this bamma starts going into detail about the capers that he pulled w/ his ex, who is now your main. And when the other fellas go to rollin’, guess what happens next? Right, big azz fight. LOL
Conclusion: Dating your friend’s ex, big NO-GO!
By Dan
September 4, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this
I’ve had friends that knocked my garbage bin.
But I don’t play that route (with actual girlfriends) now cut buddies are fair game.
But Man Law #73: the homeboy must be notified prior to the act (even if it’s immediately prior).
By AmazonRed
September 4, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this
Morning everyone. I enjoyed the RNC last night and Palin and Gulianni’s “yo mama” jokes. LOL
I’ve never dated a friend’s ex. Heck most of my non married friends have terrible taste in men.
I had a friend date my ex, wait, actually I was still dating him, so yeah, that one didn’t end well.
By ATL Guy
September 4, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this
My first g/f when I was in 8th grade…seeing this girl and I played Select Soccer so would travel all the time for tournaments when I was younger. We broke up cause I was gone every weekend. My bestfriend starts seeing her, remember we’re like 13 at the time! We got in this fight over it. At that point, he’s like “I was wrong, you’re my boy, I ditched her…Bros before Hos”
Learned early, Man Law should never let you go after your Boyz ex. Too many women out there anyways!
By Blue_Kolla
September 4, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this
HoneyBun Morning, i never dated a friend’s ex but i’ve had sex with an ex of 2 friends.
You ain’t the only female walking around with these credentials. LOL
Dan But Man Law #73: the homeboy must be notified prior to the act (even if it’s immediately prior).
Notice how far down the list that is? Long-term, short-term, sidepiece, booty-call, don’t matta… I don’t go behind dudes that I know.
By Atl Lady
September 4, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All I think this is going to be one of those topics that almost everyone is going to say it wasn’t me. I’m like everyone else so far. I’ve always gone by the you’re my girl’s ex and we tight so no rule. Every incident that I know of that it has happened, the trust from the friendship/relationship was diminished.
By MLL(mammalongleggs)
September 4, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this
BK It has to be an odd feeling smashing a female that your buddy used to smash, and what does that say about the lady?
By Dan
September 4, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this
@BK
You trying to tell me that you’ve never had that one night, that one girl, with all the homies….
Plus, realistically, you’ve probably gone behind some dude you know anyway…The A ain’t that big…
By kimmie
September 4, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this
Good morning Blog Fam
I would not WANT any of my friend’s exes! Yuck, they have TOTALLY different taste in men and yeah, they are EXES for a reason anyway! Goodness, when I think of some of them now I want to puke - so no! Would not do it anyway, and none of my friends have done it to me (that I know of).
Blue Kolla - You are hilarious, I was picturing in my head everything you wrote! Loved your post!
By iMISSu
September 4, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this
mood today giddy and all. ;-)
there’s a rule, no ex’s! i thought ev1 knew that.
MLL, atl lady, errbody … morning.
By SlimOne
September 4, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
Blue_K I’ve always heard that’s how it goes with dudes. I’m sure you know chicks can be real freak-a-lics, so having flashbacks of when the chick did a triple aixle off the balconey onto his dizzle is reason to fight…especially if ole dude start laughing to himself or saying shyt like, “Yeah me and ole girl definitely had some good times. She a wild girl.”
Dan Man Law #73: the homeboy must be notified prior to the act (even if it’s immediately prior).
Friends Ex Girl: Ohhh, I always wondered how endowed you were, even when me and yo boy was kickin it.
Dudes Friend: Dayum girl. You sexy as hayo…and that cat is lookin right and ready for me.
ExGirl: I can’t wait to just li, li, li, lick you like a lollipop.
Chick now proceeding to get on her knees
DF: I knew you was a freak. But I got something to do first tho. I gotta make this call.
ExGirl: you gotta make a call now?! well don’t mind me, I’ll jus be down here.
DF: mmmm…ohhhh Hello? Eh mayne.
ExBestFriend: What up dude?
DF:……
EBF: Hello? You aight ova there man?
DF: Oh, my bad dawg. Jus callin u cuz we go way back…ooohhh dayum girl
EBF: Yeah we do go way back. What’s this about and why it sound like you running water or something?
DF: mmmm shyt, you got the wetmouf girl! Oh, yeah. thats what i was callin u bout. You know that chick you were wit for about 3 years that had you all wide open?
EBF: Yeah?
DF: Well, since we cool like dat…aaaaahhhhh…Oh my bad. Um…well you over all dat right?
EBF: Yeah? Man whaddaflugg you tombout?
DF: I’m glad you finally ova dat shyt dawg. but um…..Sshhhh, girl you gonna make me buss fore I get a chance to get the ok….What was I sayin? Oh! Well I’m bout to get with ole girl. I see why you were so fugged up over her. Dis girl is da shyt! So we still cool, right?
EBF: Still cool?..You must got me fugged up dude
DF: aight baby, I’m bout to tear dat azz up… (DF just hears “still cool” and hangs up)
EBF: Hello? Hello?
ExGirl: So what he say?
DF: oh he said it was cool and to fugg you up good. Now were we?
By AmazonRed
September 4, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this
so having flashbacks of when the chick did a triple aixle off the balconey onto his dizzle is reason to fight
I hate SlimOne with every fiber of my being. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
By Blue_Kolla
September 4, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this
Dan You trying to tell me that you’ve never had that one night, that one girl, with all the homies….
Nope, ain’t neva been the kind of dude to be in on runnin’ no trains. I don’t like ho’s and I ain’t hardly tryin’ to see some other dudes dyck.
Plus, realistically, you’ve probably gone behind some dude you know anyway…
Now that’s a real possibility, however, a small one. First b/c I don’t keep a gang of friends; secondly, like I said I’m traveling for my broads. Most cats are lazy, they want the broad down the street.
By MLL(mammalongleggs)
September 4, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this
hey there iMISSu, what/who’s got you all giddy and all?
By jazzyone
September 4, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this
Dan All the women in ATL don’t lay up and fugg everything that walks with 3 leggs..stop it….not all of us have a million miles on us with contributions from you or ya boys. Seriously….
By Blue_Kolla
September 4, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this
Slim *so having flashbacks of when the chick did a triple aixle off the balconey onto his dizzle is reason to fight
See…? You know exactly what I’m talkin’ ‘bout; especially with this part right here ===> …especially if ole dude start laughing to himself or saying shyt like, “Yeah me and ole girl definitely had some good times. She a wild girl,” ‘cause you know that a clown is trying to be slick. LOL
By Atl Lady
September 4, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this
Morning imissu
By Cemeeli
September 4, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this
Morning All!
Atl Lady…:)…wun me either. Not dating a friend’s ex. But for some reason i’ve had a few inappropriate passes made from a friend’s man, AND a really bad move/pass from my (ex) guy’s cousin. had to do some snapping that wasn’t nice.
Alot of my friends are 5-10 years older than i, 1-2 of them are 12 years older. Their husbands or SO remind me of my uncles…and i don’t want anything close to Uncle Frank’s age. Lol they would kill me if they saw my post.
mytwocents/Blue
Morning Observation:
As i was driving in this morning, the car in front of me windows had some written painted. On the back window it read: Andrew -n- Carol “JUST MARRIED”, and on the bottom part of the trunk was “MOTEL or HOTEL BOUND”. I got over to the side of the car, and her window written smaller than what was on back was “getting incar service NOW!!”.
hmmm…did Cee almost pass out when i finally figure out what that meant? LOL I called a gf to find out what it meant!!! I ain’t never seen it like that before.
By iMISSu
September 4, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this
slim that was your best right there gurllllll!!! too funny. lol.
MLL i received a e-mail last night. why they do that? dang.
By Cemeeli
September 4, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this
Kimmie Hey sis.
imissu…giddy r u…Who’s getting a rose?
just sayin
By SlimOne
September 4, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this
Blue_K I’ve been a witness to a dude doing that…especially at a party or something where dudes getting their drank & schmoke on.
By AmazonRed
September 4, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this
Dan All the women in ATL don’t lay up and fugg everything that walks with 3 leggs..stop it….not all of us have a million miles on us with contributions from you or ya boys. Seriously….
LMAO. Good one, jazzyone.
By AmazonRed
September 4, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this
Kwame Kilpatrick pleads guity and resigns. Another leader falls due to inability to stop chasing skirts. Pity.
By Foots
September 4, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this
Blue Nope, ain’t neva been the kind of dude to be in on runnin’ no trains.
Good for you! That has GOT to be the nastiest, low-class, no-budget thing folks can do.
Dan So you trying to tell us that you have?
By kimmie
September 4, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this
Hey Cee!
But for some reason i’ve had a few inappropriate passes made from a friend’s man - I’ve had this happen too and it is totally disgusting! One guy tried it twice with me, even after I cussed him out AND told my friend. She like a fool forgave him, even after he had the nerve to try it with her SISTER too! Since she had such a flip attitude about it, I didn’t tell her about the 2nd time until years later after she finally dumped him. Here I was all concerned, almost crying because I was so offended by his advance! That nut almost cost us our friendship. The Christian in me forgave her, especially after SHE ended up apologizing to ME.
By Dan
September 4, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this
@Jazzy
Say what you will be every woman on here has that one dude in her past that she wishes she could take back, doesn’t count, or chooses not to remember.
The difference between men and women is that the guys don’t have those regrets.
@BK
Whatever dude.
Whether she from your town or outside of it, same rule as above applies. She done got down with some dude, somewhere, and did something like when the chick did a triple aixle off the balconey onto his dizzle that with somebody.
Whether you know him or not.
As far as the TT, I was never the in the room with any other cat, and was never the last cat in the door neither. But you know, we all grew up differently.
Some us more exposed to it than others
By Atl Lady
September 4, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this
Cee ^5 that one. Why do old a$$ men you’ve known all your life think they have a chance to get you in bed?? Do they not know my dad and some of my uncles pack specific heat for just those occassions???
By Blue_Kolla
September 4, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this
Cee “getting incar service NOW!!”.
Ohhh dayum. LOL Hey, well at least they starting off right. That’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.
Slim I’ve been a witness…
Funny thing about the truth, ain’t nothing funnier, nothing stings as much, and it’s the best game in the world.
By Dan
September 4, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this
@Foots
I learned a few things about women a long time ago:
You can’t get them to do anything that they don’t want to,
Each and every one has a freak in her, it just takes the right dude to get at it,
She gone do something nasty and blame it on the time, the alcohol, or the guy (even when it was full participation on her part).
So you can miss me with the judgement, dearheart, becuase the D apologizes not for consensual sex.
By AmazonRed
September 4, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this
Say what you will be every woman on here has that one dude in her past that she wishes she could take back, doesn’t count, or chooses not to remember.
Dan, I don’t. Never have.
By MLL(mammalongleggs)
September 4, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this
imissu fill me in on the email.
Question: why do people say that they don’t have any expectations when they’re dating someone? Isn’t that the purpose of dating, expecting something to come out of it?
By Leggs
September 4, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this
Good day everyone! Glad you’re giddy today, cuz I’m sleepy!
I’ve never dated any of my friends ex’s.
By SlimOne
September 4, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this
On Trains And what happens if the first dude to go is Mandingo Dizzle, then here you come…just like trying to mix up bubble bath in a garden tub with a coffee stirrer. Just ain’t effective.
By Foots
September 4, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this
Dan So you can miss me with the judgement, dearheart, becuase the D apologizes not for consensual sex.
Okay, then, how about you miss the ladies with your judgements also? They shouldn’t have to apologize for being freaks if that’s what they are, since it was consensual freakiness, right? And don’t matter what you say, trains are still gross.
By Dan
September 4, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this
@ARed
Sorry you and Foots only had the first and the last.
My fault for forgetting your sainted status…
By Blue_Kolla
September 4, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this
Amazon Another leader falls due to inability to stop chasing skirts. Pity.
I always say, if you gon’ be dumb, don’t be stupid. When they asked him about it, he should’ve said what all the other smart, usually white criminals say, “I plead the 5th. Where’s my lawyer?” His only criminal offense is lying, the idiot.
By iMISSu
September 4, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this
getting incar service NOW!!”
well … what ya gurl say?
By Leggs
September 4, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this
Ok, help me out here. I always thought “running a train” was in no way consensual. You mean to tell me young idiotic girls want this? Tell me it ain’t so! Any dude who participates in such a thing is scum!!!
By AmazonRed
September 4, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this
Dan, I don’t know what “only had the first and last” means. Please clarify.
And hardly “sainted status”, I guess on the flip you’re a w******* then? I’m not going for sainthood, I simply believe that sex shouldn’t be given freely and therefore always acted accordingly. How silly is it to criticize folks who just try to live their life right, in however way they deem “right” to be.
By Foots
September 4, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this
Dan And what does “what you learned about women” have anything to do with your own actions? You saying that because some women are freaks, it justifies the things you choose to do? Why not do it just because you want to, without looking for the justification because of what some woman did?
By the way, I’m no saint, never said I was. I’m going to need you to miss me with the sarcastic judgement. Trains are gross to me They are not to you…so what? I can’t have an opinion? Like you said, we might not have been exposed to that growing up. But as you know, there is PLENTY of distance between sainthood and that.
By Atl Lady
September 4, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this
Foots I thought the same thing. I have known that more than one girl was the resident hos for a particular fraternity. I have known girls to be targeted by frat boys only to be embarassed and outed immediately after the deed.
By m'karyl
September 4, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this
Oh some of these comments are funny…Dan and BK…lmao…garbage bin…uh-huh…lol..and BK… true, convo might be like that…ARed…so did the friend become an ex too…lol.
By AmazonRed
September 4, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this
Ok, help me out here. I always thought “running a train” was in no way consensual. You mean to tell me young idiotic girls want this?
Leggs - A train is consentual, if not, it’s gang rape. “Want” is reletive. I’d suspect any girl that consented to a train has either been abused or lacking some kind of acceptance in their lives to want to participate in these things. The guys promise popularity or being “down” with them, and some girls may crave this.
I had one acquaintence admit she’d been run train on and that she wanted it. But I know she’s had a history of sexual abuse as well.
By Poppa Grande
September 4, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this
Good Morning to all…
I have no sympathy for Kwame…it goes back to the power and money thing in politicians. He had both and didn’t think about the people that he was supposed to represent. He can take that long walk off a short pier….
On topic
No. I concur with BK’s post including hypos…I’ve actually seen a couple of those happen scenarios.
Remember the movie Soulfood, and how Bird’s ex treated Bird’s husband in the job thing.
By Chink
September 4, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this
Morning All
Dan
Say what you want but being a freak doesn’t mean to have the willingness to be have a train ran on you….
There is something wrong with that picture …no matter if you think its normal its not ..that girl needs help…. by playing your part you have just become part of the problem.
Because I bet we talking about kids “teenagers” cause I doubt you can get a grown adult to fall for a train theory…unless she getting paid for it.
Unbelievable to think that sort of behavior is ok!
By East Point's Own
September 4, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this
Leggs Well I guess most guys walking around are scum by your book… LoL
And the girls… well there are a few types of trains: there is the drunken half passed out chick who gets down with a dude in a house full of dudes and after guy #1 leaves the room guy #2 enters.. and so on… she may on ocassion think that all the dudes were the same guy if she is drunk/high enough.
THen there is the freak who gets down with one dude, and asks for more.. if dude is done for the moment she will ask for his friends on the other room to come finish her off…
Then there is the chick who for whatever reason will do anything you ask her to do, so once guy #1 finishes he tells her to go do his friends and she does so.
Then there is the chick who might not be drunk or high but is just a freak and if its a room full of guys with nothing better to do she just goes to work.
Oh and lets not forget the chicks who have always secretly had a fantasy of being with multiple dudes at once,
And these are only the scenarios that don’t involve financial transactions… LoL
By iMISSu
September 4, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this
ummmm dan, you just got hit in both! you ok?
By ATL Guy
September 4, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this
This Detroit Mayor is extremely stupid. I mean why jeapordize your career and everything you worked for!? He should have learned from Bill Clinton a thing or two about lying under oath. If clinton came forward straight away, he could have put it to rest. Also, Bill Campbell lying under oath as well and got nailed.
These people think they are above the system. I can’t understand how people can be stupid…
By jazzyone
September 4, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this
Dan not being a tripe w******* or permiscuous (sp?) does not equate to saint hood, Its called values and being raised in a way that deters that type of behavior. Selecting someone and learning thaey may not be the one for you is not a regret for me it was and is a learning experience and a part of growth. Not w*******-ish-tripe t**-ish shyt.
By Dan
September 4, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this
@Foots
I’ve never placed value judgements on anyones sexual decision, except when they decide to take that choice from someone else.
Must have me confused with someone else.
By Chink
September 4, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this
Leggs
Uh I have equated trains with rape ..because there is no way that sort of behavior is wanted as a “child”.
Don’t mistake consent with intimidation…
I am so against this stuff it hurts my heart …I know what its like to have no voice while I am being abused…
By Cemeeli
September 4, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this
I’ve had this happen too and it is totally disgusting! One guy tried it twice with me, even after I cussed him out AND told my friend.
Kimmie you know what’s sadder is when you are leaving a gf home and your walking out of the garage and the guy rolls up and say sumthin ‘jacked up’ and here you’re thinking what made him think it is okay to approach and say such? A compliment is okay when said appropriatly and while ALL are in company. But if you rolling shiesty and fowl..imma call out your MESS!! never lost a friend over the foolishness.
Atl Lady gurl, my uncles friends have said how “nice” of a lady i’ve become, more inappropriate that just “good gurl”. Then when my uncle come around i’ll say: Booker T what you said ‘bout 3 minutes ago? yea, cause my uncle with they selves can bring alot of expression to a sentence by the time they finish cussin him out. When i was a teenager my aunt dated this guy after her divorce for years, i’ll never forget how he was so nice to us 3 amigos (me and my 2 cuzs that grew up like sisters) we are 1-2yrs apart in age. As teenagers we would babysit the lil cousins…when we would sit for this one paticular aunt, her bf was always extremely nice to us. After having just so happen convo…we found out our aunt’s bf was trying to hit on all of us. The oldest cuz, when she turned 17 he bought her alclhol (Wine Coolers and Boones Farm) for her, she had a sneaky party at their house. To make a long story short, he was a pervert and wanted to see t** from my cuz. Luckily i was here in Atl. and only visited them over summer breaks. I told them he made a pass twice. I told them once i told him a few words he go it right. the older cuz actually was about to fight him during one of the remarks he made.
For what he did to us and some other mess he did to our aunt. My uncles ended up beating him in the long run. i’ll never forget that fight
By East Point's Own
September 4, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this
Chink Not true my friend I have beet witness to grown women (over the age of 25) having trains run on them without the use of money or drugs…Some women don’t even become freaks until they hit 30… LOL
By m'karyl
September 4, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this
Oh wow…so they finally jailed the mayor of Detroit…and he resigned…another one bites the dust…dayummm….I hope the nookie was good and such…since it was a very expensive piece and all…lol
By iMISSu
September 4, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this
poppa, from yesterday:
What is a man to do, if the woman has acted as if he is doing ok? Open up your mouf, and tell dude.
i believe i said that in my post to you.
she should step up today and say what needs to be said. don’t want her to wait until after the wedding to say what’s up.
as i was reading your comment last evening (catching up), i received an e-mail from J. I’ve missed you for a long time Angie. It seemed like you wanted to be distant from me. I had no choice but to comply.Kiss how weird is that that your reply to me goes with his e-mail. i went to him on many occasions and told him what I wanted and how i felt. and many times i would let him go so he may come back when he’s ready for a relationship. after all that back and forth, nothing. that’s why i stayed distant … no booty, no calls, no IM. i broke it off 100%. sometimes it’s hard for women to see that there is really nothing there even with all of the lovey dovey feelings movin’ thru the body. that’s why we wait. sharon 2 years, me 18 months, and there’s another blogger who’s been waiting for sometime too. it’s hard because men are the ones who say when we marry. so we wait.
By m'karyl
September 4, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this
Poppa G
Do you know anything about Castle Domain Law in GA?? Someone I interact with on a website lives in Ambrose, GA and he is dealing with a situation where a man trepassed his property, the man was shot and the dude was arrested and charge with assault…but he mentioned something about the law and I did not know what it entailed…thanks.
By Dan
September 4, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this
@Foots, Jazzy, and ARed
You all can think whatever you want, doesn’t bother me. Remember we are each adults living our own lives, some with experiences the others do not have.
By freak, I freaky. I’m not placing a moral value on anything anyone has done that is not my place to judge others.
But since today, you all want to say that anyone that doesn’t fit into your idea of sexual intimacy is somehow wrong. You go ahead and feel that way.
Live your lives ladies in the manner(s) you see fit, I wish that you are each as happy and santified in your decisions as you seem to be.
But for me, I have never taken anything that wasn’t offered, and I am comfortable with my decisions in life.
There is only One that can judge me…and it nobody on this board…
By big O
September 4, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this
Ex’s of friends are off limits for long-term dating that is..I mean I think its fair game to have sex with someone’s ex, especially if the chemistry was always there to begin with.
I would not flaunt my friend’s ex in her face and then expect her to be all cool with it. I have had sex with my friend’s ex and she knew about it, in fact, she endorsed it. She is one of those one-in-a-million type of friends. Nothing aint’ coming between us (pun intended). She’s been my girl since 3rd grade. Ain’t no dyck, old or new gonna put an end to that.
By m'karyl
September 4, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this
Funny…when I read BK’s post I thought about that scene from Soul Food also…cause it gets like that…and remember the scene in another flick when the sister told another chick that every time you kiss that man it’s my poonie you tasting…uh-huh…something to think about…one thing to not know the previous engagements, it’s another to be face to face with them.
By mytwocents
September 4, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this
Don’t think I’ve ever heard of the same circle seduction when it wasn’t an unfortunate & misguided attempt for a woman to ‘show him’, incite jealousy or bring to his senses. Always unsuccesful in achieving any of those goals. Me-I believe in six degrees of separation so let’s keep it as close to the sixth as possible.
Since I miss the word skeezer… What kind of accommplishment is it to get a skeez to open up shop for you when she’s open to doing business w/ everyone else? Cuz when you know she ain’t discriminating bout her clientele that speaks volumes bout you too.
Cemeeli, Convicted VOYEUR They had to beat uhh beat traffic some kinda way. And be careful who you ask explanations from… You’ll end up w/ a live demo!
By Cemeeli
September 4, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this
imissu getting incar service NOW!!”
well … what ya gurl say?..Chantell said it meant somebody getting or giving some oral.
By Dan
September 4, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this
@Angie
I got hit in what, and by whom?
I know better than to studin some “holier than everybody” people.
It’s whatever to me.
@Chink
No, mean NO. Always has.
So when the woman says “more” or “come here, Dan”. She’s given consent in my opinion.
By AmazonRed
September 4, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this
you all want to say that anyone that doesn’t fit into your idea of sexual intimacy is somehow wrong. You go ahead and feel that way.
Dan, I absolutely DON’T feel that way. How is me saying “hey, I don’t have any guys I regret sexing” imposing MY views on anyone else?
It’s only when you fixed YOUR keyboard to say that “sainthood” nonsense is where I compare you to being a “wh0re” in return? You dished it, now you can’t take it? You wanna talk about judging, look in the mirror and miss me with the “saint” talk. Loser.
Do what makes you happy. If running trains and bringing out the “freak” in the ladies does it for you, enjoy! Especially since I don’t ever have to have sex with you. Guess my weeding out process works as intended.
By AmazonRed
September 4, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this
not being a tripe wh)re or permiscuous (sp?) does not equate to saint hood, Its called values and being raised in a way that deters that type of behavior. Selecting someone and learning thaey may not be the one for you is not a regret for me it was and is a learning experience and a part of growth
And by the way, A-freakin-men, to this jazzyone.
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
September 4, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this
First of all..I don’t do sloppy seconds…why would I want to kiss or do a man that my frend has done? EWWWWW! It would be like doing her! No thanks! I have no desire to know what freaky things she did! How men have no problem going where his friend has been is beyond me!
Second, if a friend dated my ex…then she was and never will be a friend to me! She is cut from life! That is a deserate move. I know there is a lack of men…but is it worth destroying a real friendship over? My motto…bros over h0es! Menaing my true friends over a dude any day! Men come and go but real friends are until the grave.
Sasha the older couple you speak of have a different way of thinking. Back in the day during the war, buddies that were serving sometimes mad a pack with each other that if one of them did not make it home and the other was single that he is to marry the widow and take care of her. Plus at 80…trying toget to know someone new is more energy that they may have. And they only have a few more years of life anyway..why spend it alone. You’re old…I’m old…let’s see who dies first!
By Foots
September 4, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this
Dan Regarding your whole 11:27
WOW! You really took offense to people saying that trains were gross, huh? Quite a well thought out and detailed response that clearly shows how comfortable you are in your decisions.
Also, thanks for the permission to have my own opinion about sexual matters and how I choose to live my life. But still, lay off the judgement. I see you threw another sanctified comment in there (Was that what you meant? I think you left out the c if it was).
Cee Not Boones Farm!!!! Boy, did I used to keep a bottle of that in the refrigerator my last two years of college! LOL!!
By Leggs
September 4, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this
Ok, ok! Forget about wanting it. Poor choice of words. Yes, I was of the closed mind that “running a train” meant being raped. Thanks so very much for clearing those cobwebs from my brain EastPoint. WOW!
Chink, it hurts my heart as well. Sorry for you went through. It hurts that females actually disrespect themselves and ask for this type of behavior. This isn’t even low self-esteem. It cuts deeper than that!
By AmazonRed
September 4, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this
ARed…so did the friend become an ex too…lol.
M’Karyl - She certainly did. Not only that, but the guy only wanted her for recreation. She got rode hard and put away wet and in addition took a career hit. She was dipping in her work circle.
Messy trollop! LOL
By Poppa Grande
September 4, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this
Angie
so we wait.
You don’t have to wait. You move on to get what you want even if it means that you get it from someone else.
I’m not saying that it is easy, but many things life that are worth having aren’t easy to come by.
Life is too short to waste it waiting on somebody else.
Sharon has lost 2 year of her life that she will never get back waiting on dude to comply with request that even she isn’t reinforcing. She can’t control other people, but she should have control over her actions.
Time is the only thing in life that we cannot replenish. Tummy tucks, lift and such just hides things, but it doesn’t give you more time.
You can lose money and then earn more. Once time is gone, it is gone. Since none of us know our “check out” time, we need to make most of the time that we have. Life is meant for living.
I tried that in and out stuff once with an old flame (a long time ago). She blocked my number on the phone and my e-mail address. There was no doubting where she stood. She said what she meant, and meant what she said. I learnt a lesson from that one.
By Dan
September 4, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this
@ARed
I refer to you as a saint, you call me a wh0re.
Maybe considering that I’ve had sex with more than 5 people…guess I am
@Foots
Really, you hitting my spelling way to obfuscate the point….deflection as a tactic…I love it
By Foots
September 4, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this
Dan I know better than to studin some “holier than everybody” people.
The judgements just keep coming from you. LOL!! And it’s funny how you never included Blue in your sainthood diatribe. Wasn’t it him who first gave the indication that he wasn’t the type of dude to run a train because he didn’t like w******* or like looking at other man’s privates, thereby implying that there was a type who did?? He doesn’t agree with them either. So why didn’t that make him a saint?
It’s whatever to me.
Yeah, hence your 11:27.
By Foots
September 4, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this
Dan Really, you hitting my spelling way to obfuscate the point….deflection as a tactic…I love it
Actually, I wasn’t. I wanted to make sure I understood what you meant. You so senstive. So you did mean to judge me as sanctified??
By AmazonRed
September 4, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this
I refer to you as a saint, you call me a wh0re
Actually Dan, reading is fundamental! YOU refered to me as a saint and I ASKED if you were a wh0re in comparison then. See the difference? Since it seems to be a slow day for you today. Probably not.
I can make my argument without judgement. Did you? Who brought up the “sainthood” in the first place? (you). Who refuted it? (me).
Step away from the keyboard until you are ready to read and COMPREHEND today. Thanks.
By East Point's Own
September 4, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this
OK, OK let’s take rape, past abuse, and teenagers out of the equation. If a grown woman wants to get her freak on with more than 2 guys in one night why must she have low self esteem, no morals, etc, etc. Can’t folks just be freaks no more? What about swingers or people who participate in orgies? I mean you don’t know who participates in these activities I gurantee that some of the people we love and respect personally or on TV or in Govt. participate in such activities. Why do go to the extreme of calling folks all sorts of names if they have a more colorful sexual history that we do? its just sex people.
There are more important character attributes that people have which might in fact affect you. For example this is why Bush in in office now cause he campaigned on an anti gay marriage position.. how on earth was that the most important issue in America back in 2004?
By Dan
September 4, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this
@ARed
I refer to you as a saint, you call me a wh0re.
Maybe considering that I’ve had sex with more than 5 people…guess I am
@Foots
Really, you hitting my spelling way to obfuscate the point….deflection as a tactic…I love it
By Chanel
September 4, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this
I think this applies to a lot of people who get into shatty relationships cause they are thirsty/pressed for a man or a woman.
By mytwocents
September 4, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this
Having known the women I know, it’s sad that bringing their dude’s antics to their attention has a 50/50 chance of backfiring, so in the couple of times a comment was a bit much, I just addressed it directly & limited contact.
Atl Lady Yeah, fam is real Squeeze 1st, ask questions last types so if a situation surpasses my realm of calm & reasoning, sorry for you…
By Poppa Grande
September 4, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this
Mkaryl
Castle Doctrine…really revolves around self-defense in one’s own property.
“Self defense” being the most important part of it. You just mentioned a trespassing. Trespassing is a non-violence crime. Once you start talking about assault, battery, etc, then violence may be appropriate.
The main question will be revolve around who was the initial aggressor.
By AmazonRed
September 4, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this
Quite a well thought out and detailed response that clearly shows how comfortable you are in your decisions.
The judgements just keep coming from you. LOL!!
Foot - Great points. Well stated and I agree.
Hypocricy abound today. smh
By m'karyl
September 4, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this
@ARed Can we say Classified Skank*…what is the saying about not crapping where you eat, so to speak…I have always preferred to keep my personal activities out of the work place…period…especially if it is, to quote Right Rev. James Brown…”can we just hit it and quit”…lol…ppl, like her, get a dose of self in their Karma cereal…and still be stupid enough to fill up another bowl and then finish the box…lol
By Dan
September 4, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this
@Foots
Considering that you judge everyone’s sexual life experiences that differ from your own as somehow less than. Then yeah, you’re extremely judgemental and sanctimonious.
You don’t see that?
Wow? Tells me a little more about you…
By jazzyone
September 4, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this
Dan not judging you just speaking from the voice of a woman who yes Im a freak with my man, not anyone elses or all of ATL, dayum right. But im not loose a sleazy or tripe.
Since we were speaking of w******* and skeezah’s (yes the meories of that term) i wanted to stand up and raise my hand and speak from the non skeezah’ pleaser section thats all. Do you i don’t hate on your techniques with the chicks, your observations of trains or anything like that do you..just responding to your post becasue this is a BLOG.
AMRED we are <> I2I
By Foots
September 4, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this
E. Pernt In the same vein, why do people go to the extreme of calling folks all sorts of heavenly names if they have a less colorful sexual history than they do?