Misadventures in Atlanta

By SlimOne

August 29, 2008 8:34 AM | Link to this

Good Freaky Friday

Ladies, do you find that your degree (s), accomplishments, and/or careers convince potential partners that you would not be ideal for marriage? No, but i have wondered if my lack of degree(s) is a deterrent for potential partners.

What do you do to offset the stereotypes of “modern women” that a lot of men dislike so much? I don’t do anything other than be myself. I’m not Susie Homemaker but I’m not the Microwaver-Resturant-Chick either. I do cook, will cook and I also like to order out. I do clean, will clean but I have days during the week where you might find a pair of jeans at the foot of my bed on the floor. I guess my Geminian personality allows me to hover in the middle on a range of things. I like to look at that as a good thing because it allows me to be pretty much laid back but also willing to try new things.

Do you find yourself playing up your domestic side so that the guy can observe and take notice? Um, can’t say that I do. However, I do tend to put myself wholeheartedly into someone I’m dating that I really like..probably give too much of myself at times…borderline people pleaser but to the point of being a doormat, cuz believe me, I have my moments where I go inside myself and want to be left the hayo alone.

By ImAPeach404

August 29, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this

Hey folks …long time no see.

Diva you asked if you “need to get domesticated to get a guy your age” and my answer to you is NO. I say this because I am OVERLY domesticated and I can’t get a guy my age… Chile, who knows what the magic formula for getting a man (any age) in this city is. It’s too large of a concept for my simple mind to grasp.

This is a BIG issue with me! I don’t understand how women who don’t cook, don’t keep their house clean, don’t know how to use an iron, or anything else they “don’t” do around the house get a man!!! It freakin’ blows my mind…

Maybe guys don’t appreciate things like that anymore. Who knows.

I’ve talked about The 5 Love Languages before - one of them is Acts of Service (which is this category right here) and I suppose some people just aren’t that into being shown love in that way.

By Sunshine

August 29, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

I love to nurture and spoil my man, not so that he can take notice but because I enjoy it and it is one of my ways of giving love. When it comes to domesticated things like cooking and cleaning I am all over it, I want my man to be happy and spoiled. But he usually spoils me in return by also eating out and taking trips. It’s a two way road. I have never been dumped, moved on is more the word. Most men know that having a woman to spoil them is a rare commodity and they love it. But ladies, I am 53, you younger ladies seem to view things differently… As far as men being intimidated by my accomplishments, I tend to date men who share similar backgrounds and they are usually confident enough to not be intimidated.

By ImAPeach404

August 29, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this

Hey folks …long time no see.

Diva you asked if you “need to get domesticated to get a guy your age” and my answer to you is NO. I say this because I am OVERLY domesticated and I can’t get a guy my age… Chile, who knows what the magic formula for getting a man (any age) in this city is. It’s too large of a concept for my simple mind to grasp.

This is a BIG issue with me! I don’t understand how women who don’t cook, don’t keep their house clean, don’t know how to use an iron, or anything else they “don’t” do around the house get a man!!! It freakin’ blows my mind…

Maybe guys don’t appreciate things like that anymore. Who knows.

I’ve talked about The 5 Love Languages before - one of them is Acts of Service (which is this category right here) and I suppose some people just aren’t that into being shown love in that way.

By Joe Blow

August 29, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this

I can answer your question by stating that I don’t require a woman to be Donna Reed at any point in the relationship. I am fine doing it for myself, but I do appreciate a little help if we both make the mess.

Sharing the housework actually can be fun. It provides plenty of opportunities to brush against each other in the cramped spaces which help out later when you are finished.

I will, however get a not-so-good-look in my eye if you choose to sit on the couch while I do everything. Guess it is no different from when men handle the remote while their women do all of the chores.

By SlimOne

August 29, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this

Sunshine I’m like you, I love to nurture my man when I have one. lol

By Donna Reed

August 29, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this

(Part One)

Speaking as a proud domestic woman, yes I am proud, there is a balance that is only fair.

In fact it was slightly revealed on yesterday. Summarized: “you hold out on the you, imma hold out on the me”. In so many words.

Let’s take away all the “mental stimulating” and “emotional support” required characteristics that we so madly talk about and get down to the nitty gritty of every day living. The physical needs of a mate.

Ms. Sagacious Goddess if I may ask you a question or two…I hope you don’t mind…what is it you would say are the physical duties of a husband, out side of the frequent dazzling dizzle? What is it that we desire or feel is mandatory? What are our duties?

While I understand Mason wants me to cook, clean and all the other “domestic” duties as a wife, I expect him to perform his domestic duties as the husband such as seeing to our living conditions staying at the level of comfort that I desire.

The are a lot of things that I can do and have done to maintain how I want to live, just like he at one time cooked and cleaned for himself. But when I met a man I put away manly duties (the things men are really expected to do) and when he…yada, yada, yada.

By Stan

August 29, 2008 9:06 AM | Link to this

I’ve posted here a time or two but mostly lurk on this blog.

I’m in the middle on this. I don’t really care that my wife is not a great cook, I am at least a pretty good cook and do most of the cooking and cleaning of kitchen. I’d rather her not cook. We tried the you cook, I’ll clean thing before but she is a mess in the kitchen. She uses every flipping pot and pan we own to make popcorn. Whereas I am a tidy cook and clean as I go.

I want my SWMBO to compliment me and me her. I want her to be modern in the sense that she gotta get out the house and go to work, we can’t make it on just mine. I also want her to be able to go old school from time to time and do something like canning homemade preserves.

By aqualung

August 29, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva, As people age and select a mate, they appreciate gender roles more. Will this woman be able to make Thanksgiving dinner or sort the laundry like his mother and sisters used to do? Can this guy repair doorknobs and do lawn work like her fathers and brothers can?

My guy checks my car battery and buys me pearls, so I clean the kitchen and do laundry when I’m at his condo and the mood strikes me. (Not every time. Sometimes I leave him to wallow in his own dirty kitchen and laundry.)

We’ve accepted the roles that our parents played because we want long marriages like our parents had.

By Stookie

August 29, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

Hot shoes in the kitchen…..that’s hot!

By Cemeeli

August 29, 2008 9:11 AM | Link to this

Good Day!

Just peeping in…

…i’m reading the DNC and CNN’s site and reflecting on Obama’s speech last evening. I was very moved and cried after his speech lastnight.

brb

By MELO

August 29, 2008 9:12 AM | Link to this

That sound you hear right now is my dating stock falling. At least according to many males who are mid-30s and up

I luv the fact that u have such accurate introspective instincts/ talents.

By ImAPeach404

August 29, 2008 9:12 AM | Link to this

I love to nurture and spoil my man, not so that he can take notice but because I enjoy it and it is one of my ways of giving love.

Sunshine, I second this statement.

My first (and constant) act of spoiling is exercising my ove to cook. When I meet a man I like to find out what his favorite dish is so I can prepare it for him one day. I recently met a guy who is a vegetarian. When he told me that, my very next thought was “What in the world am I going to cook for him???”

By C tha 1

August 29, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this

Simply put, yes domestication in a potential long term SO is important to me. As a 32 year old man who maintains a level of accountability in building a secure home life I would need a woman who would compliment my efforts. Women tend to measure a man’s worth by his ability to provide and protect…An old tried and true concept. Therefore, it stands to reason men measure a woman’s worth by her ability to maintain and nurture the environment a man is suppose to provide and protect for. Of course roles tend to get augmented or entirely reversed in today’s society.

But it seems modern women want things both ways…their independence, equal rights, and everything that comes with that. Cool. Nothing wrong with that. However, if men are expected to still be chivalrous, kind, and charming with the ability to provide and protect then a woman should at least know how to cook.

Personally, I don’t expect my woman to cook three meals a day. Our lives are simply to hectic to handle that pace. We both have our own places so whenever we visit eachother we both share certain cleaning and cooking responsibilities. I’ve been on my own enough to have acquired that particular skill.

Nevertheless, I have kicked a girl to the curb because I deemed her not domesticated enough. Its one thing to be fabulous, but don’t be extra with it … and I view alot of sistas in ATL as simply being way too extra. If you like wearing stilletos in the kitchen cool do you! You can show some leg, or put on some tight jeans too while your at it, just do your thing in the kitchen every now and then. It means alot to a man. And even for the young cats who claim that doesn’t matter … eventually they will grow older and it will become an issue. I guaruntee you that.

By Jucee

August 29, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this

Morning - I love to spoil my Man also to a point where he “enjoys it” and don’t take it for granted

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

Raqi..uh..I mean Donna Reed

You are correct. In my household, it seems that our duties fall along a coincidental line of inside the house (her) and outside the house (me). I change oil and tune ups (I love working on cars), landscaping (keep your tail off my grass & out of my flowers & shrubs.. that includes our dogs), etc.

She does a lot of the cleaning (mainly because my idea of a clean house isn’t quite up to her idea..I think she may have OCD..j/k), cooking (it isn’t Emeril all day cooking, but we own several cookbooks by Sandra Lee -the semi-homemade lady on the Food Network so they take less than 30 minutes to whip up - we also have 30 minute meal cookbooks by Rachael Ray), etc.

Peach

*This is a BIG issue with me! I don’t understand how women who don’t cook, don’t keep their house clean, don’t know how to use an iron, or anything else they “don’t” do around the house get a man!!! *

You need to sit back and examine why you are attracting the type of guys that don’t appreciate it.

After all, just like women, all men are not the same.

Good Luck to ya.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 29, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

Good morning Good People TGIF!!! I’m a clean freak, I like things in order, I cook, and clean as I cook-can’t have a dirty kitchen when it’s time to eat!

do guys really judge a women’s domesticatedness by the way she keeps her car?

This is a BIG issue with me! I don’t understand how women who don’t cook, don’t keep their house clean, don’t know how to use an iron, or anything else they “don’t” do around the house get a man!!! It freakin’ blows my mind…I’m with you ImAPeach LOL

By Donna Reed

August 29, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this

aqualung I wholeheartedly agree.

One thing I noted in the Diva’s entry is she compared the younger generation of men to the aged, matured generation. The younger generation is all about chasing the arse. But when those same youngster, well most of them, began to mature and settled down in their minds, they will began to appreciate other things about a woman.

The same goes for women. We were chasing the bling and the dream. We didn’t know how to appreciate a good man and what he does.

By anonymous coward

August 29, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this

The views I’ve read so far are pretty alien to me. The last thing I would want is someone “domesticated”. Blech. I could care less about who cooks and cleans. I cook and clean up after myself when I have to, and I have a maid to do the rest. The notion of the man as the hunter gatherer and the woman as the nurturing child bearer is so idyllic it makes me want to gag. I’m 47 and my SO and I have been together over 15 years. We make a great team, but “sharing” things like cooking and cleaning has nothing to do with it. I have no expectations about what she should do and she has none for me. We enjoy life together as a family, are two professional people that have lots of outside interests that leave little time for things like cooking, cleaning, lawn mowing and such. Sure, I tend to do things that require more strength; I also have skills to do things like significant home repairs or even building a house. That doesn’t mean I expect her to clean my clothes; in fact I prefer to clean my own. If I became involved with someone that wanted to nurture me in the ways that I’ve read so far I would feel very claustrophobic and I’d run away in a hurry.

By Foots

August 29, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

Stan She uses every flipping pot and pan we own to make popcorn. LMAO!!! That was funny!

I think that most men are like C tha 1 in that they don’t expect that 3 meals a day, but that they do expect that you know what to do when it’s your day.

My SO cooks just as well or even better than I do. Usually, when he’s at my place, I cook and when I’m at his, he cooks. If we ever have a place together, I guess we will cook. He likes to iron his own clothes (he’s particular about his creases), and while he’s at it, he can iron mine too, cause I hate it. He even bought one of those expensive Rowenta irons cause he’s IVreal with it. He doesn’t like to clean up. But that’s my thing, so that’s what I’ll do for us. He also doesn’t like yard work, and I don’t mind either being out there myself or paying someone to do it.

So no, I don’t believe that you have to be domesticated to get any man. You just have to fit with the man you get. I know what my limitations are and I’m not going to disrespect those in order to get or keep someone. If he knows what his domestic strengths and weaknesses are and we can find a way to get everything done without causing too much strife, then we’re cool.

By ImAPeach404

August 29, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

Stan, someone else brought up Thanksgiving… what does your family do during this time of the year. Do you do all the cooking or do you all always visit family for this holiday?

Papa I don’t think I’ve dated anyone who didn’t appreciate it. My statement was more along the lines of saying that it’s amazing to me that women who aren’t domestic can get and keep a man. And, I only feel that way b/c I’m a bit, well more than a bit, traditional in my views on relationships. My mother is very “Donna Reed” so since I was raised that way and since I inherited the same characteristics, the opposite is foreign to me.

By Dan

August 29, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this

@WD (and all)

I’ve said here that I need a woman that knows how to cook.

But I will amend my previous statement.

While I would still prefer someone with a working knowledge of the kitchen, if she doesn’t have it, I can show her.

I love to cook. It’s relaxing and I’ve found it to be another medium for my creativity. I have evolved to think that teaching a woman how to cook would be fun. Getting her to know how to mix texture with taste, seasoning with technique, and even presentation.

Dan now curling in his seat at the thought of WD and Slim cooking in stilletto’s….

By kimmie

August 29, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

Morning bloggers, Hooray for Friday and 3-day weekend!!

Cee - I’m with ya, he left me speechless!

On Topic - I have absolutely no problem in the domestic arena because I bake/cater on the side anyway. I love being the happy homemaker, whether I have a man or not. My SO & his kids definitely love getting the fringe benefits of this. But, it has also been my experience that the old “the way to a man’s heart is his stomach” does not always hold true. I had 2 exes for which this was the case. One was so finicky I just stopped cooking for him at all. He had a laundry list a mile long of things he “didn’t” eat. Basic stuff like anything with lettuce(so no salads), anything with tomatos(there goes Italian), most vegetables, most cassaroles. The few things he did eat he only liked the way his mom cooked them. He said it wasn’t that moms was necessarily better, he was just used to hers! I take a lot of pride in my cooking and finally I thought hey, people PAY me to cook, so I can’t take it personal. I stopped cooking at all for him!

By Chink

August 29, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

Morning,

Yup I am very domesticated…I like cooking, baking …in a clean kitchen. I am not extra clean but I make it my duty to clean every weekend unless I am extremely busy and I am not home.

C tha 1 I agree with you I do look for a man to provide and protect while I am independent and have my career and degrees going on that doesnt eliminate that need for a man!

If a Grown Man can’t provide and protect due to reasons of his own irresponsiblity automatically I will lose respect for him.

By D'NLITEN1

August 29, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

I tell u what DIVA… you need to domesticate to get a guy my age and im younger than u(28 yrs. old)! i think u are very intelligent and opinionated… but hey that’s fine! If like minded people continue to learn alike… progress will never be made! 1st off… did u and ya potential summer fling know he was gonna be just dat: a summer fling? my money is placed in da “probably not” column, because ya blog implies dat with u ponderin da ideas of being more domestic! u may have alot goin for yaself. however, u may have to do a little work in da humility department! if u know dat ya lack of culinary skills may directly result in a decline in ya dating stock, WORK ON IT then! if u would at least attempt to put forth a sincere effort i would give u an A for that, B there to assist u from time to time because we could make strides together in dat area (dat could be both fun and errotic simultaneously), and C How dat little illustration can be implimented in other areas of da relationship or potential relationship for it to flourish into more.

But hey.. im jus a blogger, right? so what do i know?

By Foots

August 29, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

Speaking of Thanksgiving I sure hope that is not “required” of me. I’m 31 years old and not once has one family member cooked the whole meal for Thanksgiving. Our family members have ALWAYS brought the dishes that they do best. One of my aunts does the baked turkeys, the dressing and the cakes, my mom does the ham and the beef, my other aunt brings a casserole, rice and something like duck, another aunt doesn’t cook, so she buys cakes and pies from her friends who can, I do my collard greens and the sweet potato pies, my sister and brother-in-law bring broccoli casserole and mac and cheese, my male cousin does his greens and fries a turkey, etc.

Now, my sister is capable of throwing down a whole holiday meal, I guess we all are, even my male cousins. But my brother-in-law puts on an awesome display of chefhood for Christmas and Mother’s Day, and sometimes just cause he feels like it. That dude can burn in the kitchen.

By Shawn D.

August 29, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Well, sorry to be harsh in the only time (that I can recall) posting here, and I know your legions of fans will want to draw and quarter me, but the problem might be that you come across as a bit haughty and demanding of pampering. Who declared you “Wise” and a “Diva”? Are you above cooking your own food? Is cleaning even your own mess below you? You didn’t even give an example to bolster your (probably overblown) opinion that your last love interest expected you to be ultra-domesticated — is the problem your perception?

All that being said, I wouldn’t expect a woman to be domestically-dedicated to me, but a woman who cannot or will not do things for herself or me would be a real turn-off.

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Peach

I understand.

I was very lucky to be raised in a twp parent household and got see not only the roles, but how they interacted. Although, I was grossed out by the fact that they kissed and held hands and such, I understand it better now.

I had that role model to see and it is in me as well.

However, I am aware that there are many that not only did not get to see the tradional male roles at home, but they missed out on interaction part. Some kids from single parents households have to learn from experience instead of example.

It goes without saying that if you saw mom and dad fighting all of the time, it is bound to affect you as well.

It just boils down to remembering that you (not you specifically) are interacting with another person when you date. That other person was brought up in under another roof under their specific circumstances. You never know everything about a person and what makes them who they are.

By SlimOne

August 29, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

It’s funny this cooking thing came up because just the other day, me and my cousins were discussing taking a couples cooking class. That idea sounds like it would be fun to be amongst other couples, drinking wine or whatever, while learning to cook something different and new. However, I suggested we just do an all-girls cooking outting since I’d obviously have to rent-a-date to participate in the couples deal. lol

As far as the domestic duties in my past relationships, we sort of just got in where we fitted in. Say if the guy did the meat, I’d do the sides…cuz I tell ya, some men think meat and bread is a full course meal. lol

Dan How bout some flip-flops instead? lol

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

PoppaG Exactly. Although I get out there and sweep out the garage and clean off the deck, my first dedication of duty is to the cooking and what not. I want to solar lights running along the driveway, which I do, I say “Mason I want lights along the driveway.” Just like I say Mason that door leading to the patio has started sticking. Whether he fixes it himself or gets a carpenter to fix it, I look for him to get it done.

I think one problem is we as a generation of people are becoming lazy. Don’t get me wrong, there are some things we have to call on professions to do. But this I don’t want to do this, that and the other so I expect pretty much nothing of you attitude is just mind boggling. And that’s what it is. Yeah, we eat out or order in sometimes just like we take our cars to the dealer to be service. But there is a line that crosses over into just being down right lazy.

I am familiar with the sharing of the household duties, although the shared duties in my house are 70/30 (LOL), but I also believe that a women is a women and a man is a man.

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this

Happy 3-day weekend everyone! Oceanaire was absolutely delish and even with the special, it hits your pocketbook!

Guys, how important is it to you to have a woman who is domesticated, and happy to be in that Donna Reed role?

WD, I’m not a guy, but I will speak for my married girlfriends who don’t do domesticity! It just depends on the guy. Insdtead of the kitchen, they spent time earning several advanced degrees at good schools. The guys they ended up marrying felt their brains were more important than their casserole recipes.

By UAllAreSad

August 29, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this

Yes you need to learn to cook, clean, sew and all the things women should know how to do! Guys should know how to fix things at home and in a car! …and quit giving it away until you are at least SERIOUSLY dating/engaged…maybe that’s part of the problem with relationships/marriages today!

By ImAPeach404

August 29, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

Damn Foots, you just made a sistah real hungry!

Very well said Papa and I completely agree with your statement.

You know, I’m a big advocate for living together before marriage. And the main reason is because you just never know how clean (or nasty) your mate is until you’ve truly lived with them. I don’t have a problem cleaning up at all and I would take on this responsibility in the relationship - but I need to know ahead of time if my man is just a bit messy or if he is absolutely disgusting. Ewww!

By The Truth

August 29, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

It’s gonna be a good day folks.

On topic: It’s very important that a woman has domestic skills to me. It’s another way a woman can make love to you with her clothes on. There’s nothing like coming in and ol girl is putting something together that is scrumdilicious. For some reason a woman that can’t cook is just kind of “unladylike”. I can cook (as we’ve discussed before) and don’t mind but just as a woman looks for me to lead in certain areas, I look for her to lead in certain areas. This would be one.

My ex wife cooked everynight. Sometimes I’d come in from cheating and she’d have a nice meal ready for me. LOL If I had more feelings I’d of felt guilty. LMAO

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Raqi

I think one problem is we as a generation of people are becoming lazy.

I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE.

Obama truly won me over last night, when he stated (paraphrasing here), government can’t replace turning off the TV and being a parent and teaching responsibility. I think that we are a country (all races) have gotten lazy. That laziness creeps into relationships as well.
For me, dinner and a movie is a lazy date. The movie is just a large TV and restaraunts do all of the cooking. So basically other people have done the work for you. If all that you can do is order a meal, what makes you different from Buffie the Body?

By cooking you can put a personal touch on that thing.

By Beautiful

August 29, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

Go Obama!!!

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

@Shawn D. eh, don’t read too closely into the moniker Wise Diva. Long ago, I made it up on a whim when I was a commenter. I keep it/like it because I am wise about things that pertain to me. I can be a diva in the sense that I speak up and I am nobody’s doormat, sometimes it feels like as a woman, I only have those 2 options. I admit that as I mature, I am finding balance I can be wise AND a diva, but I don’t have to proclaim it like some badge of honor. As far as that guy, though. Well, let’s just say that he would be a great man for somebody else. I was interested to explore things and have fun in the summer, but I was open to more if things progressed in a good direction. That did not happen. I appreciate your comment, too, food for thought, definitely.

By 2CPTG - The Caveman

August 29, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

Why do I need an SO if I’ve gotta continue to do what I’m currently doing as a single guy? Seriously, ladies, yeah somma the stuff should be shared, but as Pop’s said, my duties are mainly outside. Now, if you don’t mind getting oil, grease, and grass stains on ya, then, we can split ALL of the duties….but if you want me to cook, sometimes, then you sould be willing to sweat, sometimes.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

SlimOne ”Say if the guy did the meat, I’d do the sides…”

I agree with that. However that is akin to Mason installing the ceiling fan and I hand him the tools as he need them. Just like on some Saturday morning when we do the chores around the house, I’ll take the top and he takes the bottom and we meet in the middle. Shared tasks.

But I think the biggest issue is we find more women stating what they are not doing or don’t feel they should do all while not relieving the man of certain expectations.

By Atl Lady

August 29, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All!!! Thank you Jesus today is Friday!!! (OH yeah it’s been a long a$$ week). I’ll admit it. I’m fully domesticated!!! I didn’t have a problem it ever. Has it ever made a man like/love me more? NO. Do I know a lot of men that like it? YES!! However, I have two brothers that married women that don’t do either. And they wonder why I don’t like coming over. Have I ever made Thansgiving dinner for my entire family? YES for 7 years in a row. Why?? Because I’m clean and I can cook my a$$ off. I’m very old fashioned. I like a man that takes care of the outside stuff like Poppa stated and he has to know how to BBQ. I’m sorry that’s just a requirement. I’ve met and dated men that aren’t into to all that, but I didn’t totally discount them for it. I just had to adjust. We tended to focus more on what we needed emotionally and spiritually from each other.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

Truth I am rolling my eyes at you because I can’t do anything else but agree with your post.

By Foots

August 29, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

Big Poppa However, I am aware that there are many that not only did not get to see the tradional male roles at home, but they missed out on interaction part.

My parents divorced when I was 7, but I remember seeing dad out in the yard and washing cars and mom cooking most of the meals. My sister and I were expected to clean, and many a Saturday we vacuumed, dusted, cleaned the bathroom, even the baseboards.

But when they divorced, what I saw was that it was possible, though tiring, for a woman to get done everything that needed to be done. We cooked, we cleaned, we washed cars, we mowed the grass, we put things together, we did the hedges, we painted, we fixed the fence, we made sure the cars had oil, gas, and were maintained.

When I had a roommate in college, we didn’t have specific roles of who cleaned and who cooked, we both just knew to do what needed to be done. If somebody got home before the other, she cooked. If one cooked, the other would wash the dishes. If one took out the trash, the other would vacuum. If there was no milk or bread, the first person to notice went to the store. So I’m quite used to dealing with folks who are able and willing to do what needs to be done.

That’s what I need in a mate, I don’t believe in firm lines being drawn about who does what. I just need to know that the man I choose can handle whatever it is, because I already know that I can. We will have different proficiencies, but hopefully, it will all add up to a well-run household. I’m willing to put in the sweat and tears to make it so.

By shirley

August 29, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

But I think the biggest issue is we find more women stating what they are not doing or don’t feel they should do all while not relieving the man of certain expectations.

I know women who are this way, who ask if i work all day too, why can’t he eat fast food for dinner?

And these same women wonder why, even with babies and tongue piercings (acquired in an effort to keep her man at home) he cheats.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

On cooking: The fact from my experiences is men like good food. Men like women who can provide them with good food. No matter how we women view ourselves (beauty, accomplishments, degrees) men like what they like and want what they want.

Just like we women do. We want what we want from a man. And I don’t care how many men state that men today don’t this, that and the other any more we still look for the man that can offer what we want…as a woman.

By Beautiful

August 29, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

truth when i got with you know who, he was maybe around 180lb. as a single guy, he never cooked and ate alot of top romen noodles. lol. by the time i left, he was 220lb. i fed his behind every night. his mom would call me and say “what you feedin’ him?”. lol.

2c if you/he teach me, i’ll get dirty with ya’ll. i don’t mind yard work, etc. and cooking dinner and sharing the dishes is fun!

By ImAPeach404

August 29, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

You know, Raqi you are so right regarding that lazy statement. To me, there is nothing lazier than hiring a maid. If yo @ss is so messy and nasty that you don’t even want to clean up after yourself, I don’t even want to deal with you.

I could maybe see hiring a maid if you have like 5 kids, live in a 6000 sqft house and you’re about to host a lavish party for your husbands company… maybe. But other than that, stop being lazy and clean up. Hell, if you clean as you go - or at least dedicate one single hour on Sunday to doing so - you’ll be straight.

But then again, who am I

By Blue Moon Poster

August 29, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

I’m a 40 year old guy and very well accomplished(at least on paper). Domestication is not high on my list of desires. I want an accomplished ambitious educated woman who desires to better herself and perhaps even the world; who also is cute, slim, and has a nice azz.

Cooking for me does not earn a woman a spot nearer my heart. I want to know that she cares about herself, however that may manifest itself, she cares about me, however that may manifest itself, and that she cares about others, however that may manifest itself.

Whether she can cook a slamming pot of gumbo, or flawlessly wash my clothes, or spotlessly clean my home just doesn’t rank very highly.

Those may be traits my mother and grandmother possess, but I ain’t trying to date them.

By Leggs

August 29, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

Raqi..uh..I mean Donna Reed I too laughed when she typed Mason’s name.

I haven’t read all these posts, but cleaning and cooking is a must for me. It’s just something I do. I don’t waste money on going to restaurants often although I do like to go every so often. Cooking is therapy for me. I clean as I cook and my kitchen is never dirty. I will cook in high heels only if a man is watching me. Seriously, why eat out 3-4x a week. I have never understood this waste of $$. Even if you don’t know how to cook (and I believe ALL women should know how to cook), instead of giving your $$ to a restaurant take some cooking classes and learn.

SlimOne, don’t worry about your lack of degrees. Hell, a lot of those w/degrees are dumb as hell. Charm, personality and overall knowledge of current events, along with the eagerness to learn will land you a mate in due time.

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

D’NLITEN1, see that’s the thing, I think I could (and probably will) work on it to a certain point, but would I attract the kind of man that is right for me or right for the domestic goddess that I am striving to be. When I meet a guy, and he doesn’t have all the “wish list” qualities, I think I can work with him, and he could work with me, but maybe that is my dating utopia and me being naive.

By kimmie

August 29, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

ATLady - You sound just like me! And yes, my SO does a mean BBQ - can’t wait until this weekend!

I love a nice clean house, and while I have no problem getting in the yard because I love a great lawn/garden, it’s nice to have a guy to help out in that arena!

I could not wait until we got a little more serious so I could clean out his fridge! He’s a widower raising 2 kids on his own, so that’s not high on the priority list. I took the entire fridge apart shelf by shelf and had it sparkling. It took 4 hours to do, but mom taught me well. Needless to say, he much appreciated it:)!

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

August 29, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Happy Friday!! And co-signing with whomever mentioned the 3-day weekend!

On topic: where do I begin. I wont profess to be the most domesticated but I can cook/clean/etc. Personally I dont like to cook but I will do it w/o complaining.(I have this issue where once I cook something I no longer want to eat it, hence why Im not big on cooking, I know that sounds strange but what can I say.) Now my thing is more cleaning. I do have my messy moments but otherwise my home is clean. I do appreciate a man that can do yard work (cause I am *horrble with that) and car issues (though Dad taught me how to handle those too). Now growing up my mother didnt allow us (as her daughters) to cook a lot, she preferred to do it herself. So when I started to cook, I had to ask or go by the recipe and go from there. Having been married & divorced I dont start anything that I cant finish later. So I dont put my domestic representative out there on to disappoint later!

Anybody got big plans for the weekend??

By MELO

August 29, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Sometimes I’d come in from cheating and she’d have a nice meal ready for me. LOL If I had more feelings I’d of felt guilty

well im busy today with these dept. reports but mayne,u blasted off..like the last space shuttle..that was good LMAO….the ladies wl be mad but hey,its a friday….back to lurking..

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

I love the different perspectives that we all have, it reminds me that it really is all about finding someone on the right page as you are on the big issues. Keep it coming folks!

Welcome to our first time commenters!!

By Chink

August 29, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

For some reason a man with a big plate of food to me is very sexy…but not a big belly thought..lol

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Well McCain is going after the upset Hillary supporters, he selected a female as his running mate. Alaska’s governor.

By Tazzee

August 29, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

One thing I’ve discovered is that while I don’t cook regularly now, I do cook when needed. Right now it’s just me and I spend very few waking moments in my house. Most nights I don’t even eat a real dinner. But when I had my nephew I was Suzy Homemaker. I loved cooking for him and he loved my cooking. Nothing warmed my heart more than hearing “Auntie, this is g-o-o-d!”

Similarly I enjoy cooking for my men when they appreciate it. One guy didn’t get into cooking. I would tell him what I wanted to cook for him and his reply was always “Tazz I eat to live, I don’t live to eat” That was his way of telling it didn’t matter so after a while I just stopped cooking for him. Another guy loved my cooking but he wasn’t doing much on his end to make me wanna cook for him.

I said all that to say, just because you aren’t domesticated now doesn’t mean you won’t be. But some of us need to release the notion that cooking for a man is a bad thing. When the right one comes along, the food network might become your favorite channel. or it might not

By The Truth

August 29, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva let me introduce you to Blue Moon. (Sparks start flying) LMAO

Growing up we woke every saturday morning to house cleaning. All of us had jobs to do. Since I was the youngest I’d get the trash and then was promoted to dishes, which i did standing in a chair with my mom. I still remember glass first, then plates, then silverware, then pots/pans. Then we dried. Afterward she’d give me a buck (if she had it) and me and my buddies would go to kung fu theatre where we could watch 3 movies for that dollar. When we got home there was always a kiss and some good food waiting for us. In my mind I just associate food and cleanliness with love and caring.

On a practical note if a chick can’t cook it’s gonna cost a minimum of $60 a week cause she ain’t cooking but she’s still eating, and you’re going to wind up eating out alot more.

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

let me add my disclaimer, my mother is EXTREMELY domesticated, and she also has multiple degrees. So in my head/heart I believe I can get on her level one day, LOL. She teaches me by example, for sure. I am just way into science, technology, and geeky stuff more than domestic things. It’s cool though, I am under construction!

By arkansas1

August 29, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

Hello fellow intelligent bloggers!

These are great topics in the world of dating!

I inregards to cooking or cleaning I believe both parties ( Male and Female) need to show some skills while dating. You cannot go out to dinner all the time, so a man needs to see that you can whip something so when you have kids everyone is not growing up on fast foods.

I think a degree only matters if you make it matter! If all you are talking about is your degrees and that is what makes you a person then it will turn-off anyone!

We all learn that degree is just one part of our make-up if you can’t cook,clean,repair your home,balance a budget and throw down in the bedroon!

Then what good is talking about accomplishing a lot of degrees?

By Beautiful

August 29, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

Chink but not a big belly though you’re referring to teddy bears. l love ‘em! i miss my bear hugs.

i got a jokey joke:

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched straight up to the counter and said,

“Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.”

The social worker behind the counter said, “Your timing is excellent!”

We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.

You’ll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he’ll supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.

You’ll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her every need.

You’ll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.

The salary is $200,000 a year.”

The guy, wide-eyed, said, “You’re lying!!!”

The social worker said, “Yeah, well … you started it.

By Atl Lady

August 29, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

Poppa They dropped that tea leaf this morning on the today show. She flew in on her private plane this morning. She’s only been in office for 2 years.

By m'karyl

August 29, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

I grew up in a gender neutral experience when it came to “traditional” male/female roles…the women worked just liked the men worked, so every brought it to the table…I grew up with men doing “nontraditional” endeavors…cooking, cleaning, child care…I grew up with women doing the same…so I have never been able to fit into traditional gender roles…this was a very salient influence in how I articulate and express my gender identity…I love to cook (and I am very good at it), but I do it to please me as I so choose…not on demand for someone else…and if he doesn’t like…then eat elsewhere…I sew, knit, bead, make candles and soaps,etc…but I see all of this as an expression of my creative thinking process…not domesticated thinking process…but I can also handle the butch business too as needed…I think like a human being, not a gender…and I really do not think that it makes any difference to whether you can get a man or not…but I will say that I do find Southern men to be a little more gender role dominated with regard to traditional roles, so it may be more prevalent in this regional culture, and therefore more significant than not.

By Bentley

August 29, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

Whether we call them “gender roles” or “domestic activities,” they all fall under the category of “Things that NEED to be Done.”

It’s been my experience that things go wrong when we men force roles or responsibilities on women that have never demonstrated a willingness in the first place. But, that said, people have to eat, clothes need to be washed, things need to be fixed, and bills need to be monitored.

After 18 years of having to swallow often inedible dishes from my mother, I was determined to eat good food on a daily basis to offset my past experiences. In relationships, I’m almost always the better cook and it’s something I’m willing to do on a day-to-day basis. To expect that from a woman who grew up learning other essential life skills is unrealisitc and certainly demonstrates a disconnect with her.

I’m not going to try and understand what makes a man want the “domesticated” woman beyond the conveniences it offers. But men should first pay attention, THEN ask questions, and figure out an answer that EVERYONE can live with.

…HOLLA!

By 2CPTG - The Caveman

August 29, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

Ladies, how would y’all feel if a man told you he didn’t know how to mow the lawn, do simple repairs, or anything else you deem a manly quality? Ain’t a good look, is it?

By 2CPTG - The Caveman

August 29, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

Pop’s, I think McCain showed his back is against the ropes, with that pick!!!! She ain’t been on nobody’s radar, let alone out in the forefront…..

By SlimOne

August 29, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

Leggs I definitely know that. I have a relative that is now working on her PHD and she has NO common sense whatsoever! It’s really a sight to see the type of shyt she does. lol

But I think the biggest issue is we find more women stating what they are not doing or don’t feel they should do all while not relieving the man of certain expectations. Well this goes both ways…I recently met a guy and I was telling him how myself and my roommate were looking for a house to rent but were concerned with lawn maintenance being included in the rent. Before I could even finish my sentence he went off on a tangent about how he ain’t gonna cut no grass! First of all, I wasn’t even going to propose that request to him but I got to thinking dayum dude is it really that serious. So it’s NOT all about what a WOMEN won’t do, ya’ll men got some issues too. I can understand a dude not being particularly handy on things…but a lady i know told me how, even if she hired a plumber or electrician to do work at the house, her dude would lay up in the bed and not even come down to talk to the guy under no circumstances. He sat back or either would find a reason to leave.

Only thing I can think of that i probably wouldnt do is clip some dudes funky toenails. If he got some decent feet I lotion em up for him or even massage em. But toenail clippin’…..NAW. lol

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Ladies, how would y’all feel if a man told you he didn’t know how to mow the lawn, do simple repairs, or anything else you deem a manly quality? Ain’t a good look, is it?

2C, as long as he knows which professional to call, he’s good with me.

By Tazzee

August 29, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva you can cook and clean you just choose not to. There’s a difference between that and can’t. Personally I have better things to do with my time.

I’d rather travel on the weekends and hire a maid. That doesn’t make me lazy or unable, it just means that I can have my cake and eat it too. But when I have a reason to spend more time at home, I do it and I do the home things. Past performance does not guarantee future results.

can you believe I’m doing this from my iPhone while getting my hair done?

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Okay a person with a few degrees may be able to talk to you in depth about a few more subject matters than a person without one. Example: Biological proteasomes decomposition (degreed) versus Sheer human nature (undegreed). But at the end of the day in all leads to the same avenue Fulfillment, Food and For nication.

And don’t get me wrong, degrees are good. I should have gotten me one. But I’m just saying when you take away all of the supercalifragilistic overkill we all share common grounds that have to be met the same way.

By Beautiful

August 29, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

2c no it isn’t! but i wouldn’t mind hiring people to do those jobs. whatever his strengths are, those will be his chores.

yes, i said chores. i’m hoping i’m not the only one who gives chores to their SO! things would never get done if i didn’t.

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

Bentley, giving you the Jeweler award, you’re dropping GEMS! Love it!

@Tazzee that is so true, thank you for clarifying that. I don’t think I stressed that point in my post, esp regarding the maid: I said I WANTED one, didn’t say I had one,(yet?) LOL.

By The Truth

August 29, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

Poppa McCain is a bout as mentally quick as Bush. I can’t take another four years of sheer embarassment everytime the prez speaks. With that said, whoever wins is inheriting a big mess. I don’t think either have the answers to these problems. The economists sure don’t. Whoever wins will most historically be looked at as the cause of this mess. Folks will be able to say “As soon as a bruh gets in the country goes to hell”.

By Blue_Kolla

August 29, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

@ Diva & Other Can’t/Won’t-Do Chicks What dude needs some broad running around talking about how they are NOT domestic; and worse, not even willing to try?

That’s not my, or most other dudes’ idea of a team player. What happens if I get sick and actually need some food cooked, and not some BS salad?

So yeah Diva, that dude was right to get on down the line. Keep tellin’ yoll, your sex and good looks ain’t gon’ go but so far. …and going by some of the things that you say on this blog, he probably wasn’t even gettin’ da p@ssy. Girl pleez. GTFOH

By abc

August 29, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

I went through a couple of marriages where they weren’t at all good with housecleaning (or even cleaning up after themselves much), certainly not very good cooks, all that. My mother taught me to do those things for myself as I was growing up, and I expanded upon them through adulthood. I didn’t consider it to be a big deal. No way would I clean up after them, though, whether in the kitchen or elsewhere, they created disaster areas. I wouldn’t let them do my laundry or ironing, they’d ruin my clothes. Besides, I didn’t consider them maids, they weren’t required to do those things.

It makes me appreciate one who does keep a beautiful house, is an excellent cook, etc. She’s better at household repairs and at wielding a chainsaw than I am, by a long shot. She enjoys doing and providing those things. It’s really nice. She is not the maid, either, and she knows those kinds of things aren’t expected or required of her. She does them anyway, and enjoys it. These days, I figure before, I just didn’t know what I was missing.

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

A Red, I was kinda expecting such and answer…not from you, per se, but such an answer……what the hell has happened to society????

women ain’t cooking, dudes ain’t doing their thing….Is it all about making money, nowadays…career this, career that?

By Chink

August 29, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

Poppa

Why does that sound like a gimmick to me? (Mccain’s VP) I mean come on..

By Robin Caldwell

August 29, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

My sister from another mother. NEVER, lil’ wise sister, let anyone make you feel bad about not being domesticated. Domesticated is relative. You have other “gifts.” Work them. LOL

By shirley

August 29, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

I believe the key is to, as I’m sure has been stated before, stay in your lane— get with someone who appreciates/accepts what you do bring to the table, and stop trying to fit square pegs into round holes.

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

way to elevate the discussion Blue Kolla, LOL!! wow

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

somma these comments are like, WOW!!!! First off, I ain’t calling nobody to come fix shyt, not initially, anyway….I got me one of those Big Home Improvement Books from Home Depot, and a gang of tools……say what you want, but that says alot about some of y’all dudes who admittedly aren’t mechanically inclined…and do’t expect your girl to be somewhat domestically inclined……

By SlimOne

August 29, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

One of the sexiest things I’ve ever experienced was a dude cooking a whole meal for me and it was ready when I got home. I couldn’t eat for smiling.

By Atl Lady

August 29, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

Ared That reminds me of a joke the comedienne Somore told. He’s either got to be the handy man or the man that can pay the handy man. lolol

By m'karyl

August 29, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

@Slim

Well, who was asking him??? You were just stating some of the things that are associated with house vs. apt living…that is one reason why I do not like to rent houses…lawn maintainence issues…when I lived in Decatur on Park Drive, my roommate and I were responsible for cutting the grass…I paid someone to do it when it was my turn to have it done…she cut it herself…got plenty mad too…say I should pay her, fine I told her…cut it when it is my turn and I will pay you too…lol…cause I ain’t cutting no grass…lol

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

Chink

It is definitely an attack angle on the Dems. McCain can tout change now as well. He can even go as far as to say that it is change that the Dems were not willing to do. (Reference to Hillary)

I don’t know much about her to knock the choice. I so know that she is a shark. She is pretty tough. But she does seem to have those runaway bride crazy eyes IMO

Raqi

I see people that have a ton of book smarts everyday in law school, and many of the same people seem to lack common sense.

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

I was kinda expecting such and answer…not from you, per se, but such an answer……what the hell has happened to society????

2CPTG - The reason I gave that answer is because at the end of the day, that doesn’t matter if you are a sincere and genuine person that treats me with respect.

So this is my “bigger picture” answer.

Also, my dad was never one to do manly things around the house. And he had no sons to teach them anyway. But he brought so much more to our household then fixing broken lamps.

By Chink

August 29, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Ladies, how would y’all feel if a man told you he didn’t know how to mow the lawn, do simple repairs, or anything else you deem a manly quality? Ain’t a good look, is it?

No its not! Shoot being single I have to fix up alot of stuff solo but thats because I am single…

That is a manly quality …man who too cute to dirty their hands almost have a gay look to them …and I aint interested!

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

Blue, don’t pay Diva no ‘tention….you told the truth! I’m surprised, but not really, at this new breed of folks…male, and female alike.

By C tha 1

August 29, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

Personally I’m not mechanically inclined, but neither was my dad although he was a carpenter he freely admitts he knows nothing about cars except how to drive one and change a tire. I do want to learn how to change my own oil though. But brothas don’t freely teach other grown dudes how to do certain things unless you tight with him. At any rate I do cut my own grass and do home improvements within my own ability range. As far as things I don’t know how to do I’ll simply ask another dude I know who has the tools to show me. Paying for the service is my last option.

I think what separates people from handling certain responsibilities is their willingness to learn.

By Foots

August 29, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

Bentley Whether we call them “gender roles” or “domestic activities,” they all fall under the category of “Things that NEED to be Done.”

Now that’s my type of thinking right there. Shoot, I taught my cooking azz brother-in-law how to do simple wiring and hang light fixtures.

The only thing I can’t and won’t do is get up the remains of the little dead animals that my cat brings to the house. I don’t care if ET the Extra-Terrestrial comes back to get it up, I’m not even going in the garage if something dead is in there.

By SlimOne

August 29, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

m’karyl My thoughts exactly. Matter of fact, I like cutting the grass as long as it’s a self-propelled lawn mower and as long as the yard don’t look like mount everest or the grand canyon.Cuz I’m only a buck 12 and I can’t be chasing no vigilante lawn mower down a hill. lol

By Leggs

August 29, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

C tha 1 it’s very easy to change your own oil. 2C, in my book that is an ugly look…

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

* I think what separates people from handling certain responsibilities is their willingness to learn.*

And this is what saying what you won’t so speak about.

I’ve learned to do so many things. We can’t pay for everything to get done. So, we (she learns new things too like quilting, crocheting, and etc).

It exhibits an open mind, somewhere other than in the bedroom.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

Seriously IMO being domesticated is more than cooking and cleaning. It’s about taking care of home. Point blank. If the nature to do so is not ingrained you won’t be able to conjure it up at the drop of a hat nor without some resentment.

2CPTG It is amazing to see how far we have come from “Home Life”. While I like the traveling that we do and the occasional eating out and getting with friends, I enjoy the home life. I like going home everyday. Heck you even hear some of the celebrities (obviously the matured generation) talking about doing the cooking and the cleaning. It just makes it home.

Lives are becoming very commercial these day.

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

C tha 1, that’s it, the willingness to learn! For me, my grandfather instilled it in me, the more you can do for yourself, the less you have to pay somebody to do it for you; I had tools before I knew their use - Pop’s would be like, here, you gon’ need this…..Now, (and I’m not lying) I can damn near build a house from the ground up….

By Foots

August 29, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

Big Poppa I’ve learned to do so many things. We can’t pay for everything to get done.

Oh hellz, I learned how to use primitive masonary tools to cut brick when my BIL were building my grill pad. I showed him what to do and he was like “Naw, I think you need to do that part, I’ll just lay out the whole ones, you cut and fill in the blanks”. I went through 5 practice bricks before I got that line clean. So yeah, I have some extra skills.

I’m going to take the free course to find out how to do crown moulding next week at Home Depot. If they cut it, I can paint it and put it up my dayum self. I can do it. They can help.

By Beautiful

August 29, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

slim i came home to a honeybaked ham and mac/cheese (homemade) one evening. i paid him for it graciously. i was quite surprised. i’ll take a home cooked meal over flowers any day.

happy friday bloggers! taking my babies to yosemite lake on monday. i haven’t been there in about 17 years. my mom took us there every weekend in the summer when we were little. memories … on our way to make new ones.

bye and be safe!

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

Raqi, I’m like you….I love being at home, that’s why the majority of my toys are at/in my home!!! Hell, I’m diggin my own pool next summer…

By Dan

August 29, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

Here my .02

If I’m single, taken care of what needs to be done in my home (cooking, cleaning, repairs, etc), and I invite someone new into my life, why would I suddenly slack on what I’m doing?

True, she could add her effort to the duties needed (an as adult I would hope she wouldn’t just be sitting around while I clean up), but to require a allocation of duties- seems a bit excessive.

By The Truth

August 29, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

Robin Caldwell You have other “gifts.” Work them. ultimately thats the truth. Whatever your gifts polish em up and bring them to market. Someone will love you no matter how fugged up you may seem to someone else. LOL

Raqi a degreed persons depth of knowledge is usually not more than a non-degreed persons. While I’m glad I bought one it’s not the great equalizer some would think. Economic Professors know alot of material but The Donald has the balls to make it happen. Balls over brains anyday. Now a cat with balls and brains is a beast. LOL Education is key, knowledge can be useless. BTW, most folks spend so little time studying their major that it really doesn’t make that much of a difference. Plus the real world is going to show you how THEY want it done.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

There just may come a time when we can’t afford to pay others to provide the services for our every day living.

I know the thought is farfetched for some but it is reality. And those days may be closer that what we imagine.

By SlimOne

August 29, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

2CPTG Hell, I’m diggin my own pool next summer… I don’t know, but i couldn’t help but bust out laughing when I read this….I pictured you using digging a pool as an excuse to get rid of an unwanted body or something. LOL! Start digging soon tho. lol

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

I absolutely do not have a problem with taking care of myself/my man/a household. I just don’t find joy in it, like men seem to expect women to do. I would not want a person I love to go hungry, wrinkle, with dirty clothes. LOL. I just wonder why there is such disdain for the women who utilizes options to get it done. How does it make her less of a real women if she gets help with the heavy load of being the nerve center of the family? I mean, really? That is considered LAZY.

Perfect example, McCain just selected Palin, a mother of a toddler. She could possibly be running the country, but dammit if her husband has a dirty shirt, she ain’t worth nothing as a wife! LOL extreme, I know, but you get my point.

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

Foots

I’m going to take the free course to find out how to do crown moulding next week at Home Depot. If they cut it, I can paint it and put it up my dayum self. I can do it. They can help.

LOL…That slogan is somewhat familiar.

I’ve taken many a class from HD and Lowes. I’ve even taken free classes from Pike Nursery.

I cut the side of a brick wall so that I could install a door for a carport to my grandma’s house. Those masonry tools are something else.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

Truth “a degreed persons depth of knowledge is usually not more than a non-degreed persons.”

Again I agree. But from many comments I have read here, you would be almost forced to believe differently. My husband has a couple of degrees and I don’t and we have yet to have a problem communicating, having in depth conversations and sharing our lives.

And he gets to have a home cooked meal, a clean house and a sponge bath… Oh wait scratch that. He gets good food and a clean abode. LOL

By i'm swiss

August 29, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

I’ve lived on my own long enough that I can do all of those domestic things for myself, so I don’t need or even expect a woman to cook/clean/etc. for me; however, as someone stated earlier, those are things that need to be done & if you’re sharing a household, it seems only right that you’d be sharing those responsibilities (however you choose to divvy them up).

My ex not only didn’t cook or clean, but she was also a total slob. I was constantly picking up her sht, just so I could tolerate being in the d@mn house. Fortunately, I must have built up lots of good karma putting up w/ her nasty a$$, because my fiance now is awesome. I have never asked her to do a thing for me, but *she does anyway — all the time. And she never asks me to do a thing for her, but I do, gladly — not only because of the things she contributes, but also because she genuinely appreciates everything I do for her and shows it, just as I do her. Seems to me that if you really love & respect your SO, you’ll want to do all these little things for them, not out of a sense of obligation, but because doing things that make your SO happy makes you happy, too.

P.S. — Yes, I’m fully aware of how whipped I am. ;-)

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

nah, Slim…gon’ rent me a back-hoe, cut my own wall studs, and rock and roll…..no unwanted bodies….and I sure as hell wouldn’t bury it in my backyard!!!!

By Atl Lady

August 29, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

Poppa A lot of people are touting McCain’s choice as a stroke of genius. This will ensure that a lot of bitter Hillary supporters will definitely vote for him now, she’s smack dab in the middle of everything going on as far as oil, natural gas, etc. Unless some truly conservative old-fashioned Republicans go against him, Obama has an uphill battle for real. Then again, I wouldn’t expect anything less.

By shirley

August 29, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

I just wonder why there is such disdain for the women who utilizes options to get it done. How does it make her less of a real women if she gets help with the heavy load of being the nerve center of the family? I mean, really? That is considered LAZY.

I agree wholeheartedly.

I know I possess not only the skills to run my household effectively and efficiently, but also the sense/good judgment to realize when it’s time to call in “backup”; either way, I’m handling everything that needs to be done—if not personally, then I’m “supervising” because ultimately it’s a reflection upon me.

By Blue_Kolla

August 29, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

2 don’t pay Diva no ‘tention….you told the truth! I’m surprised, but not really, at this new breed of folks…male, and female alike.

Mayne… I ain’t worried about Wise’s futile parry. She knows what the real is. And you’re right about dudes that can’t even handle a screwdriver. SMH

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

Dan

but to require a allocation of duties- seems a bit excessive.

It kinda goes to quid pro quo a/k/a something for something.

For my house, it wasn’t like we pulled out the big dry erase board and assigned duties.

Things need to get done everyday. We both eat so one person doesn’t have to do it all of the time, but someone has to do it.

It usually falls on the lines of interest. Like I said earlier, my view of a clean house isn’t quite the same as her version. She gets down the nitty gritty down to having dusting nights on the big calendar.

She actually likes to cook. Her grandma was a big influence in her life and she has the view that a woman not cooking is unladylike as well.

I like working on cars. I have worked on some old cars such as a 1973 Cutlass 442, that I sold. I restored it. It was like therapy as well as eduational.

It just seems to happen if you are with the right one. She’ll want to help.

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

I ain’t worried about Wise’s futile parry <— gosh that’s sexy.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

but dammit if her husband has a dirty shirt, she ain’t worth nothing as a wife! LOL extreme, I know, but you get my point.

WiseDiva You jest, however that is pretty much how it would be viewed because it is pretty much truth to more than a few. If it ever came out that something is lacking in her home life as the woman/wife/mrs, it would be said, how can she run a country and can’t take care of her own home.

The same would be said for a man that tries to run a company and can’t run his house.

You are a PK you know that the bible says: “For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of…”

By MELO

August 29, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

This will ensure that a lot of bitter Hillary supporters will definitely vote for him now, MAN you think those Hilary women just wanted a woman or they wanted a wman who supports and will protect the woman’s right to chose,there is a diff….

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

Raqi, oh for sure, I was raised by that and saw it exemplified in my home life. I just have to cop to the truth, I don’t dig it man, the cooking, cleaning, duties seem overwhelming when you don’t have a partner that feels as if he should do things to lessen the load. The first thing the man wants to blame it on is the career aspirations/job demands, etc. I really admire women that manage to get it all done (not perfectly, of course), find me time, look fabulous, and still have time left to break her man off, LOL. SHERO! I can get there one day, if I really want that, I believe I can.

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

Perfect example, McCain just selected Palin, a mother of a toddler. She could possibly be running the country, but dammit if her husband has a dirty shirt, she ain’t worth nothing as a wife! LOL extreme, I know, but you get my point.

Who will take care of home, if she (and/or s/o) won’t? It would defintely come off as her neglecting home.

In reality, it wouldn’t happen because as VP there are people who handle those types of things if need be.

By Blue_Kolla

August 29, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

Raqi There just may come a time when we can’t afford to pay others to provide the services for our every day living. I know the thought is farfetched for some but it is reality. And those days may be closer that what we imagine.

I don’t know where you live, but I’ve noticed an increased White presence in Dekalb; and if that ain’t good evidence of what you just said, I don’t know what is.

My Fellow Americans …I am honored and extremely happy to present Senator John McCain with the DA Move Of The Year Award for his Vice Presidential candidate selection. On behalf of all non-millionaire Americans, I’d like to thank you for extreme lack of brilliance, good judgement, decision-making skills, and fore-thought. Have a nice day and we look forward to your retirement this November. Wtf were you thinking?!

By MELO

August 29, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

and the woman is under corruption investigation..this aint a brilliant choice,its dumb!!! Mccain gets brain dead smetimes…. Michelle was looking beautiful last night..mayne,she got nice leggs.wow…

By D'NLITEN1

August 29, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

@BENTLEY… FARNSWORTH BENTLEY 2 BE EXACT LOL: i agree wit and appreciate ya incite. dat makes sense! ill try implimentin it a whole lot better when im able to get my mind better suited for everything in life as well as dating!

@Wise Diva… u are not being naive in my opinion! its just da paradox we face as single men and women datin! we most of da time wanna give off dat impression dat we dont want anything serious knowin dat eventually we do, yet not scarin off da person dat we are gettin to know! i think da whole thing would work better if we are set in our ways beforehand, especially wit da serious issue. da question is then becomes how many are patient to do so?

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

I am willing to do what it takes to take care of home. Heck, I’d be a stay at home wife/mother in a heartbeat. I’m just not pressed to show a man I’m dating how eager I am to cook and clean. Life is short and I’d rather spend time enjoying single life without being responsible for someone else. Once that time is gone, it’s gone.

I grew up in a two parent household and my mother cooked every night. She stayed at home. She was a career girl that took care of home when it came time. Not a moment before. She learned how to do it all, and told me I too would learn when the time came.

I’ve dated several guys who were better cooks than me. Probably because they had to feed themselves growing up. In any case, I’ve taken care of myself for 12 years. Taking care of others won’t be foreign, when the time comes.

By Atl Lady

August 29, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

Melo From the tone and posture that I have seen, a lot of Hillary supporters just simply aren’t going to vote for Barack because he’s Black period. I remember watching ‘Morning Joe’ the other morning after Michelle’s speech. They flat out asked a White female delegate if she was going to vote for Barack. You could’ve heard a pin drop. She didn’t even answer the question.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

August 29, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

Wise Girl you are too funny! I can cook but I hate to. I may do it once or twice a week. However, I am a neat freak so my crib is always clean. I had a friend who kept a nasty house and wondered why guys ran screaming once the visited her house! I told her she was a nasty b*tch and her house she be clean for one because she lives there and also if you are going to have guests and have them in a nasty crib that is trife! I have people who come to my crib at any given time and it is clean and the fresh secnt hits you as soon as you walk in.

But I am not into those “roles” of a woman and man whne it comes to household. If I work a full time job just like a man and pay half the bills then why should I be expected to then come home to another job? Any that is with me must know that we split the household duties. Now I know if he sucks at laundry then I would do it and he can do the yardwork. But the cooking and cleaning is 50/50. I am not your maid or chef. I woudl not want a tradtional man because he will come with that caveman mentality. Then he would get told where he can go and how to get there and on the way kiss my azz! LOL I am nor will be a housewife so a guy must know that up front. He either takes me for the woman I AM not the whimp he wants me to be! I am strong minded and will not be ruled.

Slim if a guy doesn’t want to be with you because you do not have a degree then forget that pompous SOB! A degree only makes you booksmart and have you in debt to student loans (I am one..LOL). If you are intelligent, nice, etc….he should be able to see pass that. These days people with degrees is having trouble finging a job in there field that is paying well.

MLL That ex friend I spoke of…she kept her car nasty too. It wa sliek the city dump in that piece.

Shirley Sorry…feeding an f*cking a man will not stop him from cheating! So…..

By Star1

August 29, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this

@WD-I dont know how to cook therefore I couldnt see it working out with a man that didnt know how. I eat very healthy, grill fish or chicken usually. I can do that on my george forman, but the though of slaving over some stove makes me sick to stomach, yuck. Ive been lucky to get involved with men who knew how to cook & didnt mind, hope I can keep up this good streak.

By MELO

August 29, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this

i’m swiss its pretty obvious,why u and ur ex are no longer together,she was useless!And any man who chooses a woman who cannot do nothing in the home has to have their head examined.Look at you now,u are quite happy coz of the choice u made….

By Dan

August 29, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

@WD

I don’t think anyone saying you gotta love doing it. Just be able and open to doing it.

As with anything…just be open….

By i'm swiss

August 29, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this

“MAN you think those Hilary women just wanted a woman or they wanted a wman who supports and will protect the woman’s right to chose,there is a diff….”

@melo — Sadly, it will probably work — because, at the end of the day, there are just too many stupid people out there. People who are dumb enough to vote against their own best interests just because they buy into the image that a candidate projects & fail to look at the policies said candidate supports. Same reason many working class & lower middle class people will vote Republican, even though their policies for the most part screw the working class HARD. Same reason people who are concerned about national security will vote Republican just because the image is that they are tough on foreign policy, ignoring the reality that they’ve presided over the single most mis-managed administration in terms of national security & foreign policy in the country’s history. Same reason fiscal conservatives love to scream “tax & spend liberal” at any Democrat, even though the largest deficits (by a long shot) in the last 30 years have been run up by Republican administrations, and the only time in my lifetime that the deficit was on a downward trend was during a Democratic administration.

I hope I’m proved wrong, but d@mn there do seem to be a lot of dumb mofos out there.

By SexyCool - SuccessWithActionToday.ws

August 29, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

in the past two years…i have put most of my focus and a great deal of my energy into being a domestic goddess…

what i have learned is that i cannot be domestic diva AND a success in my own right all at the same time…somewhere i WILL fall short…

i am not a superwoman…

however…along the way…i have also come to realize that…for the right man…i am willing to acquiesce a bit of my ambition to team up with him and form a partnership to support him to OUR success…

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

BK

I disagree. I think that it was a very good choice. It will make those PUMAs (Party Unity My Azz) for Hillary really look at McCain. Also, my cousin who is stationed in Alaska (Air Force) talks about her as a Shirley Franklin with conservative views. She takes no mess. Heck, she fired a guy for not firing her Brother in law (State Trooper). She like Shirley was a mayor. Her husband is part eskimo.

Melo

Name a politician that doesn’t come with baggage. Any person that has been alive more than five minutes has some baggage.

By SlimOne

August 29, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

2 no unwanted bodies….and I sure as hell wouldn’t bury it in my backyard Even I know you’re too cleaver for that. Just send me an invite at the first pool party. I’ll bring the drink stirrers. lol

Wise Good to see you in the trenches with us today. I’m seeing red. Btw, can you take these shirts to the cleaners, put some air in my front driver-side tire, re-caulk the bathroom, clean & cut those collards I bought yesterday, and roll out the crust for the peach cobbler? I’m going to get my eyebrows waxed, so i should be home around 10 tonight. lol

By Blue_Kolla

August 29, 2008 12:55 PM | Link to this

Melo Michelle was looking beautiful last night..mayne,she got nice leggs.wow…

Dude, that woman makes me really appreciate HDTV! I know that just about everyone noticed her thick, shiny, weaveLESS hair. And how about, with all of her accomplishments, she always states for the record, that her number one job is that of wife and mother. <=== dayum that sounds domestic. Man that woman is the total package!

By MELO

August 29, 2008 1:00 PM | Link to this

I’ve dated several guys who were better cooks than me. Probably because they had to feed themselves growing up like Raqi said,most young guys who are looking are not worried about ur inability to cook initally..i used to do the same.. all i wanted from a beautiful chic was good convo,company,showing u around to my hungry brthren and more importantly, ur azz.I wasnt looking to domsticate u.But when the time to marry came, i had to pull a large pad and jot dwn all the essentials i wanted in a mate.And if she is the type thats disorganized and cannot make sure the house is in order,the kids arent runing wild and hungry and in filth,then i have no busizzness giving her my proposal.She can flaunt her azz to these other lame dudes who want to go 50/50 in the kitchen and do the cooking themselves.She aint my type. Heck,the ladies are always talking about their own standards in men they wanna date,Why cant Real men have a backbone as well? The stilletto types are desirable, but only if bringing them home pantiless coz their uselfulness is upstairs,in the bedrooooooom,not in the kitchen!!

By Demi

August 29, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this

I saw a man with no clothes, no money, no plate Mister Wendal, that’s his name No one ever knew his name ‘cause he’s a no one Never thought twice about spending on an old bum Until I had the chance to really get to know one Now that I know him, to give him money isn’t charity He gives me some knowledge, I buy him some shoes And to think blacks spend all that money on big colleges Still most of y’all come out confused

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

BK

she always states for the record, that her number one job is that of wife and mother. <=== dayum that sounds domestic

I agree. To think that she has degrees from Princeton & Harvard to go along with that.

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

Slim…….however, if I did have to “off” a mugg, I think I’ve come up with the perfect way to do it…..hehehehehehehehe….I’ll tell ya at the pool party; and ummm, you gon’ bring more’n some damn drink stirrers…bring that infamous CT!

By i'm swiss

August 29, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

@melo — You’re right about that. I did need to have my head examined — but I was young & stupid then. Much wiser (and happier) now.

By Kym

August 29, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this

Okay I am lurking due to work and school but I had to pop in to say even if Darrell wont. The Republicans could not have picked a better VP Choice. When I heard the plane was landing from AK I about flip out in the car. One Melo she is not under indictment and never has been.. she resigned from her job as a public offical in AK because of corruption in the Republican Party. She not only challenged the party but she got those she challenged indicted. I like her because frankly after reading about her and listening to her on NPR she is about as solid as the come. And she has what Obama does not she actually has experience at running something. Say what you want but you cant get pass the fact that accept for his terms in Ill and in the US Senate(of which he has spent most of his time campaign for prez) he has not run anything. I am excited about November now.

By MELO

August 29, 2008 1:07 PM | Link to this

a lot of Hillary supporters just simply aren’t going to vote for Barack because he’s Black period. well,now u bringing a totally diff angle, as if to say Hilary supporters are racist(not true)there is no way we can paint Barack white this late..if they(whites) were not going to vote for him,nothing will change them,its racism and thats one hurdle he had from day one….wll see.. Poppe dnt be naive mayne….every politician has baggage,granted but to outright choose smeone who has not been cleared by the authorities yet, is dumb…..and besides,she is an oil lady,so the fire against those types(see cheney and bush) is already blazing…so much ammo against her….i dnt see the brilliance.

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

Melo, this is what’s up:

“She can flaunt her azz to these other lame dudes who want to go 50/50 in the kitchen and do the cooking themselves.She aint my type. Heck,the ladies are always talking about their own standards in men they wanna date,Why cant Real men have a backbone as well? The stilletto types are desirable, but only if bringing them home pantiless coz their uselfulness is upstairs,in the bedrooooooom,not in the kitchen!”

but you’ll also prolly be labeled a caveman, too…..

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

But when the time to marry came, i had to pull a large pad and jot dwn all the essentials i wanted in a mate.And if she is the type thats disorganized and cannot make sure the house is in order,the kids arent runing wild and hungry and in filth,then i have no busizzness giving her my proposal.

melo - And I agree. Like I stated, I already take care of my home tho. So your point is not valid for your post.

My point is that the essentials are there, but I’m not gonna be living that life until it’s time to.

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

Melo

I ain’t naive. I just know that everything that I hear on CNN, Fox, CNBC, MSNBC, etc doesn’t always have the whole truth in it. My cousin in Alaska said that she isn’t in the mess up there. The Republican party was. Does he like her? He said that she hasn’t been in office to be able to tell. However, she is very Anti-abortion and anti Roe v. Wade. This will excite the right wing.

This has the making of a Kennedy v Nixon of 1960 election. It will probably be just as close.

By SlimOne

August 29, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

2C you gon’ bring more’n some damn drink stirrers…bring that infamous CT Hole up a min folk…is this gonna be a pool party or a cut party…tombout bring my CT. It’s like American Express…never leave home without it. (Slim all in the pool dancing to…Poppin’ Puddy Poppin’, Puddy Poppin on a handstand)

Demi You have been nominated as our resident lyricist.

By Lady Sage aka Kym

August 29, 2008 1:18 PM | Link to this

Well Swiss I was not a Hillary or Obama support I vote policies and frankly I am not for big govt because that is not what this country was founded on. People spend way to much damn time waiting on the Feds to come save them when infact the Feds job is not to save them. Pick of the Constitution and review exactly what powers belong to the Federal govt and what powers belong to the state. Most power(per the Constitution belong to the state) but due to the interstate commerce clause the Federal govt gets to massage things a bit. Fact is the middle class gets screwed over by both parties. Spend and waste on both sides so dont have me that the Dems have your best interest at heart bs.

By Blue_Kolla

August 29, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this

Staceye Then he would get told where he can go and how to get there and on the way kiss my azz!

And exactly how many dudes have you said this to? Sounds to me like you have a problem disrespecting men period. Did you grow up hearing, “Men ain’t sh!t!” from your moms/gran/auntie?

He either takes me for the woman I AM not the whimp he wants me to be! I am strong minded and will not be ruled.

Nothing wrong with you being strong-minded, you shouldn’t want to be ruled, but if you’re going to deal with any man that’s a man on any serious level above being a sidepiece, you WILL conform.

Pop It will make those PUMAs (Party Unity My Azz) for Hillary really look at McCain. Also, my cousin who is stationed in Alaska (Air Force) talks about her as a Shirley Franklin with conservative views. She takes no mess. Heck, she fired a guy for not firing her Brother in law (State Trooper). She like Shirley was a mayor.

Those broads had already jumped ship anyway. So Palin was a mayor and governor of a state that might as well be a foreign country; other that actually being a state, what issues do Alaskans share with continental americans? Palin will be no match for Biden in any debate. I just watched this lady’s speech and she in no way exuded the look, stature, or confidence of a presidential candidate. I saw her head turning back and for from 0 to 180 degrees and not once did her eyes make direct contact with the camera lens. That was not by design, but a lack of self-assuredness. That whole decision was a last minute act of desperation.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

“…aren’t going to vote for Barack because he’s Black..”

Is their view point any more off-balanced than those who are going to vote for him just because he is black?

By MELO

August 29, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

one other pointer ladies,esp if u looking to get married one day:no man will say to u,oh if u cooked and cleaned etc, i wld marry u..nope! A guy will be with u if they find ur azz good and u good company blah blah…but when they decide to make a life long commitment and u not delivering,they will look sideways.Guys who marry a lot of times do so by accident,they happen to be in the company of a good chic,with all the ingredients they are looking for and then BAM,it hits them,why am i wasting my time when my wife is right here!!! Now, if u were taught right,do those domesticated things for him anyway,even when he dont ask.Wash his vlothers from time to time and if u get to his place and the house is dirty,clean it up and tell him to go out to his boyz and u will call him later when u done.Cook him a meal and then call him later to say its all clear..and he will find his huge delicious meal in the microwave.When u do that for him from time to time,trust me,the proposal will surprise u,u will be flawed.If u not domesticated but u need a ring on ur finger 1st,well..keep waiting…or better yet,get one of these lames piedmont park dudes……….

By melmc22

August 29, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

The bottom line Diva, as one writer put it, those younger guys will one day mature and want someone who can do a few simple things. I’m divorced and now dating again, the late twentysomethings and men my age-thirtysomething. However, at the time my husband and I got together during those 20something years,all the dating norms were in play. And yes…food and a clean house does the attention of most men….among other things. Its no secret, all men come from Momma some good some bad, if any man worth his salt noticed anything his Mom was doing, subconsiously he’s going to want some of those domestic traits from his counter part. Especially when he is considering her seriously. “Flings” and booty-calls, never matter! I’m not saying stay home and cook and clean! I’m simply saying it’s a good look when you can cook a simple meal, and the house is clean, and yes all of that can go w/ a pair of great heels! Meaning, it’s okay to be gorgeous,domestic,smart,and sexy!

By Dan

August 29, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

@Kym

I think Jim Clyburn has it right:

Throwing someone on a National Stage is risky becuase of the scrutiny of the press and their preparedness for the types of events to come.

While she won’t have to worry about addressing a football stadium full of people, she will have to articulate her vision in front of more people than she’s seen in a lifetime. She may just choke in a debate with a foreign policy expert.

Also, with her being from a small town in a small state asking her to be VP of the United States of America is like asking someone to go from fries at McD’s (sorry Blow if you’re reading that, no offense) to managing GM. There’s a reason she hasn’t left the state.

Small fish in a big pond of sharks

fenna tear that beauty queen a new one…

By i'm swiss

August 29, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

@kym — Trust me, I don’t think any politician really has my best interest at heart — regardless of party. But by the same token, don’t be fooled into thinking Republicans are for small government. They’re not. They just spend on different things & want the government in different areas of your life — i.e. massive, wasteful military contracts, domestic surveillance, choice over abortion, choice of who you marry, etc.

What I do know is this: In my lifetime, Republican administrations have for the most part s@cked in every way imaginable, and the single best period (economically & otherwise) was under a Democratic administration. That’s enough evidence for me to give them another chance.

By Leggs

August 29, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

Thanks Kym. Nice post!

Melo, you definitely a valid point here…coz their uselfulness is upstairs,in the bedrooooooom,not in the kitchen.

From what I’ve been reading on the newly announced VP, she can be a baracuda. She’s no nonsense!

By IslandGirl

August 29, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

John McCain’s decision to choose Palin is obvious and should not shock anyone. He hopes to sway voters that were passionate about a woman (Hillary) getting into this office. I am convinced he is not concerned about the seriousness that comes with the job of VP. God forbid he has a heart attack and she becomes commander and chief….CAN SHE REALLY RUN THIS COUNTRY??

By SlimOne

August 29, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

Prescriptions for women

DAMNITOL: ake 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

PEPTOBIMBO: Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL: When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

MENICILLIN: Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, ‘You make me want to be a better person. ’

BUYAGRA: Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spreeInjectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN: Relieves headache caused by a man who can’t remember your birthday,
anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat

ANTI-TALKSIDENT: A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to
share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT: When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

Kym Most power(per the Constitution belong to the state)

That is debatable.

Full faith and credit clause of the constitution gives each state power over themselves and not other states, but they can recognize other states power.

State soveriegnty allows each state to really serve as its own little nation. However, To be United you have to have something that brings them together and rules everyone. That is the Federal law. However, everybody in every state enjoys the freedoms provided by our military and have duties in return to the federal level.

Otherwise you get the crazy situations like South Carolina deciding that it wants out of the Union part of this thing.

It seems to me that it the Constitution gives power to the States intially but as time has gone on it has taken from those rights as well. Full faith and Credit clause is in ARticle IV (I believe, I gotta look it up) then the Due process clause in the 14th Amendment takes power from the state as well.

It seems to me that it attempt to balance power between the states and the Union.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

I am strong minded and will not be ruled

LOL By anyone or entity or just a man.

And why does it have to be being “ruled”? That’s not what it is. You are crossing paths with all the wrong men if each and every one of them want to rule you.

By Blue_Kolla

August 29, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

Kym I am excited about November now.

If you all siced up just because she’s a female, then go’ead and vote republican then, but don’t come up in this joint complaining about the $4/gal gas price. Take yo’ lumps.

Ared My point is that the essentials are there, but I’m not gonna be living that life until it’s time to.

The interview for the SO/Wifey position starts at 00:00 hour, meaning when a dude first puts eyes on you. Ain’t none of that “well, I’m gon’ chill, enjoy life now and then when I get into that position, I’ll tighten my game up and do right.” Naah slim, you gotta practice how you play.

By lurker

August 29, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

Of course people will vote because he’s black! What a non-smart question. We need to see if we can still have faith in our people, because we’ve been let down so much. Look at the county where the cred. was taken away.

By Dan

August 29, 2008 1:40 PM | Link to this

@PG

The interview for the SO/Wifey position starts at 00:00 hour, meaning when a dude first puts eyes on you. Ain’t none of that “well, I’m gon’ chill, enjoy life now and then when I get into that position, I’ll tighten my game up and do right.” Naah slim, you gotta practice how you play.

That ish right there nikka, that so REAL it jumped off the page.

By MELO

August 29, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this

The interview for the SO/Wifey position starts at 00:00 hour, meaning when a dude first puts eyes on you yep ^^^^^ BK Naah slim, you gotta practice how you play. no way yu wanna buy a car u never test drove….

By Lady Sage aka Kym

August 29, 2008 1:45 PM | Link to this

Dan,…honey size wise Alaska is not a small state population maybe but size..no.

By Demi

August 29, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this

Let’s keep it real…Barack will not make a good president…He actually thinks…And that is not a good look for United State. This country is just not ready for an intelligent president…We need some one only listen to bad advice and has no real opinion of he/her own.

This country needs four more years of Bush like mentality.

People just need to learn how to become corrupt and this nation will be fine.

Vote Republican if you enjoy where our nation is heading…I won’t

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

Dan, Blue gets credit for that gem…….

that was the realness…..

By wishful in west end

August 29, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

As a married man, I wish my wife would wear stilettos in the kitchen and everywhere else in the house! Worry about the home cooked meals another day, great legs are more important!

By Leggs

August 29, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

SlimOne, I am now thorougly convinced that there’s something wrong with your brain. I love Dumberol* one. I already like country music so I guess I might wind up liking blue grass music….yikes!

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

BK

They have many of the same issue that the continental US has. You can dismiss her because of her state. Obama grew up in Hawaii. That is further away than Alaska is.

Have you heard of the Alaskan pipeline? oil and gas affects us all.

do you know that Russia is threatening us now? Which of our states is the closest? (It used to be part of it…..Alaska.) We could very well have 21st century Missile Crisis. Putin went off on Bush and Republican party yesterday saying that he felt that they provoked the Georgia/Russia conflict.

They have more depression than alot of America. The closer to the Artic Circle the longer the winter days get. Point Barrow has 24 hours of darkness on the Winter Solstice. Lack of sunlight means lack of Melatonin (Hormone in the brain) and more depression. (It is why many people get depressed in the winter…lack of sunlight). This means healthcare issues. Mental health is still health.

Nature is a big part of their economy. Alaskan cruises are beautiful (been there and done it). If you’ve eaten Salmon recently, it probably came from Alaskan waters.

These are just part of their issues. They are unique in that they are so far away from the rest of us.

By m'karyl

August 29, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

Bouncing in and out…just back from lunch…zzzzz!!!…I peeped a few comments about degrees, etc…I moved to the ATL in ‘83…despite my parents attempts to send me to 3 different schools, I still did not complete my education until ‘96…I have always been a very well-rounded, articulate intellectual…sans degrees from institutions of higher learning…but I found it to be very interesting how I was judged by one set of standards before I completed my degree and another after…i.e. without my degree, brothers who were colleged educated assumed I was not an equal intellectually or socially…by the same token when I completed my degree brothers without credentials told me my paper didn’t mean diddly and all it did was give me too high an opinion of myself…funny, it is the same opinion I always have had about me…uh???…go figure…lesson learned: if he has a problem with your presence or absence of credentials…stuff him…and don’t ask me where…lol

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

Corporate America:

*(Big Boss and Female Employee in conference room):

BB: Team I need someone to go the extra mile and work a few hours late everyday to finish this project. You will not be paid any more but you will get a few “atta boy” pats on the back.

FE: (frantically raising her hand): Ooh pick me, pick me.

BB: You do understand there is not extra pay.

FE: No problem. Whatever it takes for the team.

(Female Worker arrives home late to Husband mowing lawn)

Hub: Babe can you bring me a glass of water. This 98 degree weather is killing.

FE: (mean mugging) Get it your own damn self. Who do you think I am the maid?

By Blue_Kolla

August 29, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this

Melo one other pointer ladies,esp if u looking to get married one day:no man will say to u,oh if u cooked and cleaned etc, i wld marry u..nope! A guy will be with u if they find ur azz good and u good company blah blah…but when they decide to make a life long commitment and u not delivering,they will look sideways. …If u not domesticated but u need a ring on ur finger 1st,well..keep waiting…or better yet,get one of these lames piedmont park dudes……….

Good Lawd! Melo just threw The Hope Diamond on the table!

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 1:55 PM | Link to this

Dan

Thanks, but I didn’t type that one.

It is true, though.

By lurker

August 29, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this

Raqi

She work just like he does! He knew it was gonna be hot. He needs to try multi-tasking next time.

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this

Raqi, it’s sad, but your analogy is so true; on both sides of the fence……folks will tapdance their azzes off for thier job, which could less than a fugg about them, but then neglect everything with meaning!!! How many folks have gotten laid off from a job they’ve dedicated a great deal of their life to? And then, prolly ain’t even gettin’ a severance package to go with it…..fvck a job!

By IslandGirl

August 29, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

Blue I agree with you. It is astonishing to me that folks are willing to take a gamble on a conservative who is obviously out of touch with the ailments of middle class Americans and small business owners. I work in the Decatur area and listen to restaurant owners being fearful of closing their businesses. The economic strives are not only affecting the housing markets….

As a middle class American (making under 5 million per John McCain), this is what I know: a few years ago a dozen eggs cost about 99 cents. Now they’re about $2.49. A few years ago, gasoline cost about $1.09 per gallon, now it cost $4.00/gallon. Bush/McCain (Republicans) have spent about 500 billion in Iraq/Afghanistan..destroying the value of the dollar and raising the cost of everything! What can be wrong? •$4.00 plus/gallon gas •Giving our troops tanks with not much armor, etc. •Providing substandard treatment in VA Hospitals •Education initiatives that have left more kids behind and not graduating •Letting people down in response to Hurricane Katrina •Making the US look like a country that enjoys torturing people, then lying about it…

Chile, enough is enough…..this message was paid for by the committee to reELECT IslandGirl to the senate….somewhere in Alaska.

By Dan

August 29, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

@BK

My fault. Like I said it jumped out at me, didn’t do due diligence to see who typed it.

And ladies, that’s how a man thinks when he’s thinking seriously about a woman.

By Leggs

August 29, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

Worry about the home cooked meals another day, great legs are more important! Yeah, right! You say that crap now. I can see it now.

Man: Dang guurrlll, I so love watching you in those heels.

Woman: Thank you honey

Man: Hey, got an idea! Let’s go out for dinner tonight and when we get back you can walk around the house for me with just those heels on.

Woman: Ok baby!

Next day:

Man: Honey, just can’t get enuf of seeing you in those heels. You have beautiful legs.

Woman: Just for you baby, just for you!

Man: It’s Friday, let’s go to your favorite seafood restaurant.

Woman: Man these are some magical heels, you’ve been treating me real good lately.

Man: Just keep wearing them baby I’ll treat you just right.

Two weeks goes by:

Man: Are those a new pair of heels?

Woman: Yes, they are. Do you like them? I had you in mind when I bought them!

Man: How much did they cost? All this eating out is really putting a dent in my pocket. BTW, when the heck are you going to cook again.

By MELO

August 29, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

Worry about the home cooked meals another day, great legs are more important!

sorry bro,shld have been like me(i met her on the runway),i got a combo……good legs and i let her put on the kitchen apron,in stilletto and thongs,when the kids are away…

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

Because he is Black rather than based on whether or not he is competent enough to do the job.

My decision to vote for Barack has nothing to do with the color of his skin. Hillary was and still is my first choice. But since she is out…

I hear many people saying they are voting just because he is black. And nothing else because they don’t care to know nothing else about him. Folks are really fooling themselves by thinking just because he is black he is going to make it right for “Black America”. No he is a democrat and he is going to serve the democrats, we hope, accordingly. Black and white.

I personally know of a black woman that said she will not vote for him for the simple fact that he is black. She feels this nation is not ready nor is he as a black man. That’s her opinion.

By Joy

August 29, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this

Blue Kolla, what are men practicing while they play? Curious to know if you think men should practice being a husband? If so, with whom are you getting practice with the flavor of the week?

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 29, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

Raqi I feel you on how we give our all for a job but when it comes to matters of the heart it/they always get put on the back burner. Just so sad.

By Blue_Kolla

August 29, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

Come on Pop. I aight dumb for real. I know that you can walk to Russia when the Bering Strait freezes, and that they’re p** off b/c we support Soviet Georgia b/c they have oil and the Russians were using the threat of withholding oil to keep the smaller bloc countries in check; and that Alaskan citizens get oil subsidies from the pipeline. And also that there’s like a 10:1 chick deficit for the dudes up that joint. (So yeah ladies, head to Alaska) My point was that on the statewide level, they aren’t facing the hardships that the continental states are facing.

By MELO

August 29, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

Raqi and everyone else, i think voting for him coz he is black is a valid enough reason,its a powerful symbolism of whats possible for a black man in america..we had to watch his speach with the kids right in my bedroom last nite.I dont care if he messes up..who has not(bill flucked in the w.h) but to let kids dream that they can be prez of america one day if they wrk hard and dream is a powerful lesson that needs to be spread all over black america.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

2CPTG It just amazing to me how some people can spew all the will nots cannots when it comes to relationship, but jump thru hoops for BigBoss corporations who work you to death and not bother to even show up for the funeral.

We do what we want to do based on where it (he/she) falls on our priority list.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 2:19 PM | Link to this

melo his competence is far more important. That’s why he gets my vote.

Heck if how he looked was all that matter I would be voting strictly based on the fact that he is cutey.

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

Joy, I know you didn’t ask me, but I wanna chime in on your question -“what are men practicing while they play? Curious to know if you think men should practice being a husband? If so, with whom are you getting practice with the flavor of the week?”

A MAN practices his Husbandry skills by doing his own thing!!! Meaning, he ain’t looking for no female to manipulate and shack up with, cause he got his own shyt! He ain’t gotta chase puddy, cause puddy gon chase him! As as far as being Hubby material, a gal knows when she sees confidence in a dude! He ain’t gotta say a word, cause all of his shyt gon add up.

By shirley

August 29, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

I feel you on how we give our all for a job but when it comes to matters of the heart it/they always get put on the back burner. Just so sad.

Is it really sad? Or is it just that individuals are different and may not value the same things as you or her over there? I think there’s room in the world for everyone—those who value their careers and place having a family secondary to that, and those whose ultimate dream is to be married with children—to seek his/her version of “happily ever after”.

By Demi

August 29, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

SlimOne put your grill on girlfriend and put them signs in the air…remember the good time, ‘cause:

My whole team praying that you make some noise So we can introduce you to them Nik boys, yeah I got killers doing time as I speak to you Then some mo in the streets right next to you And before you can say Troy it wasn’t me cuz I’ma hit you wit the whole city three cuz You see a bish slap a bish oh’ really See you a f/kng joker and I’m not f/king tickled A blood tripper, that’s me up out dat Ack 350 If that means me kicking your a$$ a damn skippy In my city ain’t no games, we learn your name And where you went to school at and where you used to hang And when I run across ya is where I’m going to drop ya Breaking your punk a$$ off something proper

By Leggs

August 29, 2008 2:30 PM | Link to this

…those who value their careers and place having a family secondary… But what’s being talked about is putting the J.O.B. over the already EXISTING family!

By Atl Lady

August 29, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this

Raqi I agree whole heartedly. I was on the fence about Barack and Hillary until January/February of this year. I wasn’t sure how Barack felt about anything and Hillary was assuming too much. When Hillary couldn’t effectively reign Bill in, that’s when I knew he had more to gain than just being glad that Hillary took the White House back.

By MELO

August 29, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this

his competence is far more important i will let u slide coz like u,i waz a Hilary backer too based on my prognostics of the Dem ticket( i never thoght dude wld make thus far)…not about to tear him up coz the primaries are over.

By Blue_Kolla

August 29, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

mkaryl without my degree, brothers who were colleged educated assumed I was not an equal intellectually or socially…by the same token when I completed my degree brothers without credentials told me my paper didn’t mean diddly and all it did was give me too high an opinion of myself…

Sounds to me like the problem was with you and the different types of dudes that you decided to hang out with at different points in your life. Keep at it and just be cool with people, degreed or not.

Joy …what are men practicing while they play?

Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. You do the right thing. That’s called personal accountability. Now do what you want… but if things don’t turn out right, you can never say that you weren’t told.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

I dont care if he messes up

And melo if he messes up or not was not important and only his color was, Jesse Jackson would have been president long time ago. No??

By shirley

August 29, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

But what’s being talked about is putting the J.O.B. over the already EXISTING family!

Where is/was that stated?

By Demi

August 29, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

Raqi I am only voting for dude ‘cause most of my white friends are leaving the repub party just to vote for the dude with a brain…most of my black are voting repub…I was like wow…and had it not been for all those white votes early on, there would be no Barack…I knew I wasn’t going to put a black dude in office, until I sat down and really listen to him speak.

Is it really possible for this nation to become great again?

Most great leader per history dies young. And years after their death, changes come. *He may not be with us long…his untimely death will not only effect us, but the world.

By Atl Lady

August 29, 2008 2:40 PM | Link to this

Raqi You didn’t have to go there about Jesse Jackson. lolololol I just hate he’s so clearly jealous of Barack’s accomplishments.

By MELO

August 29, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

we tried with jesse,but he cld not get the cross over vote,unlike Obama……

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

Leggs the point of the dialogue was to show how it has become such a burden (for women especially) to care for the one who shares a life with them while everything else in life gets their 110% undivided attention.

All of the wonts, cants and donts get reserved for the life partners.

By Blue_Kolla

August 29, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

2 A MAN practices his Husbandry skills by doing his own thing!!! Meaning, he ain’t looking for no female to manipulate and shack up with, cause he got his own shyt!…

Thanks for the assist champ.

By Demi

August 29, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

On Jesse Jackson I don’t see too many whites or blacks backing that dude. Period.

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

she always states for the record, that her number one job is that of wife and mother. <=== dayum that sounds domestic

LOL. Would y’all expect her to say anything different?

By Leggs

August 29, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

When the hubby asked for the glass of water while mowing the lawn. That’s what started all the comments!

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

Raqi….something else I find funny with those folks who put career over family…whether it’s immediate, or extended….soon as that job gives thier azz the boot, whom do they go running to, when the well dries up?

Had a homeboy like that….granted, we’re on equal footing as far education, and stuff goes…but his head was in the clouds because of his corporate job….azz got laid off, then wanna start asking me, man, how you make it….that kinda shyt….

By Leggs

August 29, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this

Sorry nothing about mowing the lawn, just asking for water. See Raqi’s 1:51 post.

Exactly Raqi. I definitely got whatcha saying.

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

The interview for the SO/Wifey position starts at 00:00 hour, meaning when a dude first puts eyes on you. Ain’t none of that “well, I’m gon’ chill, enjoy life now and then when I get into that position, I’ll tighten my game up and do right.” Naah slim, you gotta practice how you play.

BK, I’m gonna live and enjoy life, period. I’m a grown woman and you are a grown man. I do practice how I play, in my OWN household. I’m not gonna be maintaining mine and YOURS. No way. We decide to go that extra mile, the two will merge.

I don’t “play” house.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

melo Jesse Jackson was then and still today a joke. Jesse was black. Barack is a democrat.

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

Foots,

You see this? pole dancing lawsuit

By Demi

August 29, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this

Falling victim from neglect Designed thoughts and intellect Forgotten and displaced The crux of my dismay I feel nothing I am nothing I feel nothing Nothing How deep I descend? Until I reach my end? How deep I descend? Deeper into this abyss

she always states for the record, that her number one job is that of wife and mother. <=== dayum that sounds domestic

A. Red when the same words are spoken by H.R.C., shyt sounds more of an after thought.

And I wish Barack wasn’t so dayum gentlemen like all the time…H.R.C. normally mention Barack’s name at the end of her speech, rarely in the beginning.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

Yep 2CPTG. LOL

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

BK

Its not biggie. I just know that Alaska has issues, too. That goes for everyone. Heck, with that big male to female ratio, there are bound to be some Brokeback Mountain going on’. So that is an issue for everyone.

As for Palin, she can tout that she has a son in the Army and is headed to the Middle East deployment on September 11. So, she will have an issue like many military families in this country.

Her youngest has down syndrome. That goes more to the health care. She journalism degree and started out as a sports news person. So, she won’t be afraid of a camera.

By Demi

August 29, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

melo plus dude was slimly…like a lot of so called black leaders

By Blue_Kolla

August 29, 2008 3:01 PM | Link to this

Demi …most of my black are voting repub.

WOW. But then again, I ain’t even surprised. That’s like Clarence Thomas, the biggest beneficiary, in this whole US of A, of affirmative action, now talkin’ ‘bout he don’t agree with affirmative action. It’s cool to not believe in it, hayo I don’t. But don’t change up AFTER you’ve gotten the benefits.

Jess-sa ain’t s**. …said slow and deliberate, like *Eddie Cane Jr’s father off The Five Heartbeats.*

By Cemeeli

August 29, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

Hey peeps….

Lol…I shouda known you guys were talking politics today too. I have been in debate/confrontation with folks all day. Everyone here is all hype about attending college football games this weekend…I wanna go to one…

So what are any of you all doing for this holiday w/e?

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

BK

Also, think about this. There grocery bills are higher than ours. Being so far away, most things have to be shipped to them either by boat, plane, and trucks by way of Canada. Who gets to pay that gas costs for that? I went up there once and a KFC 2-piece snack (chicken & bread NO SIDE/NO DRINK) was 4.99.

By Lady Sage aka Kym

August 29, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

Can I ask one question something that a opinion writer in the ajc pointed out? In any of the speeches this past week about Obama find me one where someone spoke up and out for him which of the speakers actually said I will vouch for him. The opinion writer said this..” Ereily missing at the Democratic convention this year were people of stature who were seriously involved at some point in Obam’s life standing up to say: I know Barack Obama. I’ve been with Barack Obama. We’ve toiled/endured together. You can trust him I do.”

Hillary didnt say it. Bill didnt say it. John Edwards couldn’t say it. Al Gore talked about what would have happen had he not been cheated 8 years ago. So who said it. Only his wife. And frankly as his wife she is suppose to say it. What would it look like if she stood up there and said anything but that? The opinion guy from the Post said..”the Democrats had a torrid affair. Having slowly woken up, they see the ring and wonder who exactly did they marry last night.”

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

Everyone here is all hype about attending college football games this weekend…I wanna go to one…

Cemeeli, if I could, you could certainly attend the one I have to go to for work! It’s a Sunday game, so it messed up my plans to go to Miami!

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 3:12 PM | Link to this

Kym…..Senator Durbin said just that, last night….the same guy who introduced him at the 2004 DNC.

By Blue_Kolla

August 29, 2008 3:12 PM | Link to this

Dayum Pop. I’d love to debate/discuss the Palin pick with you because you’ve got some sense, and some seriously interesting viewpoints. I’m gon’ have to get back to you on next week.

Yo *Red, do you. Just don’t end up with a gang of cats.

Yoll be e-zay out here. It’s a long weekend. I’m out the door.

chairspin

By m'karyl

August 29, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

BK

kiss off…first off the problem is not with me…I could careless what a piece of screwmeat thinks about me…and I do not try to meet men and when they step to me it is never about them…it is always about me…without them…I listen to what I hear come out of dumb (d)icks mouths…that is why I am still single…cause men do not make me…I make me…I do not care about other ppls stuff9 degrees,cars, occupation, etc)…just my own…but you would not know that as an opinionated arse of sorts…I did not like the men in the ATL…period…arogant…stupid…lame…you name it…judgmental…came there single…left single and I like it that way…unlike them, I ain’t begging to be with me…I got that…and you can not tell me how to deal with ppl…cause when you can not get along with me…then you have a problem…cause I do not give a fugg…I like my men dead on paper…they rule…opinionated jack that you are…got a toilet to go clean???

By Foots

August 29, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

Ain’t none of that “well, I’m gon’ chill, enjoy life now and then when I get into that position, I’ll tighten my game up and do right.” Naah slim, you gotta practice how you play.

I agree, sometimes you do have to put what your bring to the table on the table so that your potential mate can see it and decide if it fits their needs.

So I take it that when you meet a woman you like who becomes your girlfriend, you automatically go cut her grass, make sure her car is clean and maintained, pressure wash the house, and build her a few new shelves in the garage?? LOL!

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

Yo *Red, do you. Just don’t end up with a gang of cats.

BK, even if I do, I’ll be fine.

But yeah, you men talk that whole, play your position, yet y’all aren’t paying bills and heading the household to just anyone, who ain’t wifey, either. And if us woman expected y’all to, that gold digger world would flow like the Nile.

I’m really not fooled.

By Fomer Republican

August 29, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

Poppa G I’m not following you in regards to Palin. There are many US cities that are experiencing economic hardships…largely due to the last eight years of the current administration. So why should we believe the McCain/Palin team can turn things around…I am tired of these tough talking Republicans.

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

Kym

He has books for that. I personally don’t care about any of that. I wasn’t sure before last night that I fully supported him.

I don’t vote parties. Neither party care about us. They may love the country, but they don’t care about us. Politicians care about 2 things, well actually three.

1) power 2) money 3) keeping said power and money

I at least heard Obama talk the personal responsibility along with the other stuff. If each person in this country doesn’t make changes themselves, things won’t change. Knowing his life story doesn’t matter to me, if I have no job or just lost my house. I could care less about Power Happy Billary couple or NC’s Ken Nuggent aka Edwards. Tell me what you gonna attempt to do. But that other fluff.

Zell Miller stood up and vouched for Both Bill Clinton in the 1992 election (I feels your pain speech) and then later turned around and supported Dubya and the Republicans. What the heck does another politicians vouching of another politicans matter? They all lie, steal, cheat on their wives(Edwards, Newt, Bill Clinton, Livingston,…..) Why would their vouching matter to me?

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

So I take it that when you meet a woman you like who becomes your girlfriend, you automatically go cut her grass, make sure her car is clean and maintained, pressure wash the house, and build her a few new shelves in the garage?? LOL!

Foots, exxxxactly. LOL. Jedi mind tricks indeed.

By Kara

August 29, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

Ereily missing at the Democratic convention this year were people of stature who were seriously involved at some point in Obama’s life standing up to say: I know Barack Obama. I’ve been with Barack Obama. We’ve toiled/endured together. You can trust him I do.”

ok People said this about Bush (his FATHER?) and you see how that turned out. It would only get dismissed as you scratch my back I scratch yours, a ala lobbyists.

By David

August 29, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

My fiance and I share the domestic duties. We switch off every fortnight between chores, and we cook and tend the garden together, so there’s very little disparity between the two of us. Her ability or domesticness is not what attracted me to her. If something like that is a roadblock for dating someone, then you’re much better off without them.

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

Foots….real talk, “So I take it that when you meet a woman you like who becomes your girlfriend, you automatically go cut her grass, make sure her car is clean and maintained, pressure wash the house, and build her a few new shelves in the garage?? LOL!”

umm, yeah….cause if she’s gotten to the point of being a potential mate, then yeah, I’mma handle that…cause more than likely, she’s came over and showed her value, as well…..plus, the money she would have had to spend on a maintenance man, now goes into the kitty…..

By Blue_Kolla

August 29, 2008 3:26 PM | Link to this

mkaryl LMAO @ you. See? Check out that attitude. I’m gon’ send you a subscription to Cat Fancy; you gon’ need it.

I’m out for real this time. Yoll be cool, you too mkaryl. :D

By Cemeeli

August 29, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

Ared pls know that i can fit in a LARGE garment bag…lol. Girl, these folks are hype in here…we are not SUPOSED to wear any casual clothing But the rebels got on GA, Tenn, Tech, Clemson (interns) up in this piece anyway. Now if i wear my cargo pants anyother day flks looking at me sideways… i think Miami is having some weather issues (storms). Go to the game.

Kym is “The Million Dollar Divorce” by RM Johnson one of your reads? That’s what the club selected for our read…i hadn’t read the sypnosis, I hope it’s not trashy.

Guess i’ll be doing some reading this w/e.

By Stan

August 29, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

ImAPeach404: Sorry got hung up doing other stuff. You asked about Thanksgiving. I always cook the bird and normally a few other dishes. We do the big meal with friends every year the Sat after Thanksgiving day, and normally everyone brings something with a select few bringing most of it.

Works for us and I get the rave reviews of my turkey :)

By Chink

August 29, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

A MAN practices his Husbandry skills by doing his own thing!!! Meaning, he ain’t looking for no female to manipulate and shack up with, cause he got his own shyt!…

By the Way Where in the world is this Man He sure sounds like a keeper..

Unbelievable to see people still supporting a republican party that has done so much destruction…I guess its like family when they doing wrong you still support them…smh

By Lady Sage aka Kym

August 29, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this

2C one guy out of a whole party? One. Everyone else crafted their speeches to give him the nod but there was no rally around like with Gore or heck for that matter with Kerry. And if you don’t think the DNC higher ups have the broke face going today you are wrong. Believe me the VP pick by the Republicans has them spining wonder what the heck just happen.

By Foots

August 29, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

Amazon But yeah, you men talk that whole, play your position, yet y’all aren’t paying bills and heading the household to just anyone, who ain’t wifey, either.

That’s just side of neck talking. Just about every dude on here has said what they would not do for some random chick they were just dating. So the expectation of the women is to do domestic things to impress a man and gain a husband, but the men don’t want to do domestic things until they are a husband.

That’s why I need somebody who does what he does and I do what I do, we do whatever comes naturally and what makes the household function. I have my skill set in tact and if he likes what I offer, cool. If he doesn’t like it, he can keep it moving. Same with me.

If I have to “audition” for the part of wife, he’s going about it the wrong way. Like Dan and 2C said a few weeks ago, the man should be looking for God to send him a wife, and forget all the LISTS of what she should do based off his desires. They both said that God should decide what HE wanted to send to them. And I think that’s right.

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

and Foots, since we’re talking about the Big Picture, if she has met all the prerequisites, then, for all practical purposes, her shyt, and my shyt, gon ultimately become our shyt…so when you find the one, ya better take a vested interest in her stuff…..

By Chelle

August 29, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

HAVE A GREAT, SAFE, COOL WEEKEND BLOGGERS - ;) BK

HEY DEMI, CEE-ME-ME

HOLLA

By SlimOne

August 29, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this

I wanna kiss you hold you never scold you just love you suck on you neck, caress you and rub you Grind moan and never be alone if you’re not standing next to me you’re on the phone Can’t you hear it in my voice, I need love bad I’ve got money but love’s something I’ve never had I need your ruby red lips sweet face and all I love you more than a man who’s 10 feet tall I’d watch the sunrise in your eyes we’re so in love when we hug we become paralyzed Our bodies explode in ecstasy unreal you’re as soft as a pillow and I’m as hard as steel It’s like a dream land, I can’t lie I never been there maybe this is an experience that me and you can share Clean and unsoiled yet sweaty and wet I swear to you this is something that I’ll never forget I need love I need love

See what I mean I’ve changed I’m no longer a play boy on the run I need something that’s stronger Friendship, trust honor respect admiration this whole experience has been such a revelation It’s taught me love and how to be a real man to always be considerate and do all I can Protect you you’re my lady and you mean so much my body tingles all over from the slightest touch Of your hand and understand I’ll be frozen in time till we meet face to face and you tell me you’re mine If I find you girl I swear I’ll be a good man I’m not gonna leave it in destiny’s hands I can’t sit and wait for my princess to arrive I gotta struggle and fight to keep my dream alive I’ll search the whole world for that special girl when I finally find you watch our love unfurl I need love I need love

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this

*Fomer Republican *

So why should we believe the McCain/Palin team can turn things around

I never said that she would. Administrations can’t do stuff by themselves. All branches have a say in some manner.

However, she is a good choice because she excites the true conservative base in a way that McCain doesn’t. She is MORE conservative than he is. That could get those who wouldn’t vote or those on the fence in his corner.

History has shown that Democratic Presidents have been better on the economy. FDR, JFK, LBJ, WJC, but Carter was an exception.

By Foots

August 29, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this

2C umm, yeah….cause if she’s gotten to the point of being a potential mate, then yeah, I’mma handle that…cause more than likely, she’s came over and showed her value, as well…..

Good for you!! That’s a good thing to hear that at least you practice what you expect (though I hate the word expect).

We know that most women will give of herself freely if she feels secure enough to give and appreciated for do so. So, in your mind, who shows value first? Do you lead in this area, by showing your value to your woman by doing the things you mentioned, then let her follow your lead by returning domestic favors?

By Do some homework

August 29, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

This comment was posted on Jim Wooten’s blog:

By Thespis, “For eight years the GOP has been attacked for pandering to the oil industry and right or wrong those attacks have stuck. Now here’s a pick whose husband works for an Oil Company and who served as the Ethics Commissioner of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission.

The reality may be that her service was admirable as was evidenced by the reason she left her post (if you want to know why do your own reading, I’m not here to spoon feed you). Also I will admit that I honestly don’t know what capacity her husband serves at BP but this is a political campaign and what any intellectually honest observer of politics knows REALITY most often takes a back seat to PERCEPTION.

Regardless of her gender, if people gain the common perception that this is another oil connected Republican out to lead a country desperately in need of a new direction on energy then the road for McCain goes further uphill.

I go back to my original statement that this pick smacks of desperation and gimmickry. It appears to be was a poorly vetted and ill conceived choice that hurts rather than helps McCain.”

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

Kym, ain’t gon debate, just wanted to answer your question….cause you asked, “In any of the speeches this past week about Obama find me one where someone spoke up and out for him which of the speakers actually said I will vouch for him.”

I did that…..then you came back with, “one guy out of a whole party? One.”….damn, ain’t that what you asked…

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this

That’s why I need somebody who does what he does and I do what I do, we do whatever comes naturally and what makes the household function. I have my skill set in tact and if he likes what I offer, cool. If he doesn’t like it, he can keep it moving. Same with me.

If I have to “audition” for the part of wife, he’s going about it the wrong way. Like Dan and 2C said a few weeks ago, the man should be looking for God to send him a wife, and forget all the LISTS of what she should do based off his desires. They both said that God should decide what HE wanted to send to them. And I think that’s right.

Foots, AMEN sister! When Beau is over MY house, the crib is clean, he is fed, beer is fetched for him, and all my bills are paid up (by ME). That’s how I maintain my household!

In his home, I’m not scurrying around cleaning and auditioning for maid, I mean wife. That’s not my household. He needs to handle his biz til he wants to merge.

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this

Believe me the VP pick by the Republicans has them spining wonder what the heck just happen.

I think that is overstating it a bit. No one votes solely based on VP. If they did, how would have George HW Bush gotten elected with Quayle as VP twice?

He spent time in the VP office complaining about Murphy Brown not being a role model & mispelling potato…adding that “e” on the end.

She helps McCain win those that may have already be leaning his way to go ahead and make the full leap his way. But she isn’t gonna make those that weren’t looking at McCain now say “I got you babe”.

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

this entire discussion has fascinated me, it really has. I have to applaud and thank each of you because you all had very insightful commentary. This one is going down in the history books for me, lots of lessons and important insight was shared. I guarantee you, a mid-30s non-domesticated woman like me is reading all of this and learning a lot.

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

Foots, without sounding arrogant, I’m leading in everythang!!!! Like I said, if you’re a man about yours, yeen gotta beat ya chest and scream it from the rooftops, it’ll be evident.

By SlimOne

August 29, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

Foots & 2CPTG But if you coming full force showing all your cards upfront, doesn’t it get old to the dude first, or isn’t that where that ‘why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free’ spill comes in? (you coming out the gate playin wifey and all dat)

By Foots

August 29, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this

2C and Foots, since we’re talking about the Big Picture, if she has met all the prerequisites

What are your prerequisites?? A few weeks ago on August 8, when the topic was What’s on your checklist for a mate?, some dudes did say that being able to cook and run a household was on their prereq list for desirable qualities in the women they wanted to be with. But you agreed wholeheartedly with Dan when he said that having requirements (lists, desires, prereqs, same thing) for your potential mate was funny and sad:

Dan….I agree whole heartedly! “The really religious, ain’t faithful at all…. You building this “list” of attributes for a potential mate (missing the one’s that might be for you in the meantime), Instead of a simple prayer: Lord, bring me the person You would have in my life…Funny, ironic, and sad…

that is funny

So would you be satisfied with a woman who the Lord sends to you if she didn’t do domestic work, but the Lord saw the bigger picture and said “You need THIS woman in your life”? What if the woman God sends to you, you overlook, because she can’t cook?

By MELO

August 29, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this

the man should be looking for God to send him a wife, all nice and dandy,dnt have prplem with this..apart from fact that we dnt knw for sure what God is gonna do and we may be thinking here fro Him….in the meantime….u just try whatch u can, thru ur own iniative. * When Beau is over MY house, the crib is clean, he is fed,* A+++ for that… the maid ref,tho regrettable,dnt have to be in his crib,ur crib will do just fine…..so the audition is going good then…………..

By MELO

August 29, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

do some hmewrk thanks….i gave small bites here,they stil werent swallowed,but hey……….

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

Slim, I can’t speak for nobody but me…..a hustler’s creed is, “scared money don’t make none.” So, somebody has to take the initiative to take it to the next level….yeah, sometimes you gon’ get burned, but if you’re guage is working properly, then you can sift through the garbage, and find one worthy of investing a lil something into….

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this

Wooooooooooow, Did she go to the archives? Yes SHE Did! Alright then Miss Foots, RESPECT LOL!!

By Foots

August 29, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this

Slim But if you coming full force showing all your cards upfront, doesn’t it get old to the dude first, or isn’t that where that ‘why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free’ spill comes in?

The thing is, everything I know how to do, I don’t have to do for him. If he can see value in the things that I do naturally and I see value in his, that’s all we need. He doesn’t have the patience to put a bookcase together, but he sees me put together my own. Bam! Now he knows that he has a woman who likes that kind of stuff and can do it. If he comes over and sees the hedges freshly trimmed and he knows I did it, BAM! now he knows that he has a woman who is willing to get dirty to have a beautiful yard.

So, you don’t have to do things for somebody for them to know that you can do it. You can demonstrate your skill set even when you’re doing for yourself.

By Raqi

August 29, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

Foots it’s not always what you do directly but the indirectly tells a story also.

I was not Mason on-call maid and chef, but he saw how I maintained at my place. My house always clean. My car…clean. My body…clean. My food not only tasty, but he saw that I cooked nearly every day. I worked and I wasn’t in his pockets.

In him I saw a man that sat out to be something and have something. Responsible. Good credit…so he paid his bills. Planner. Nice house. Never asked me to borrow more than $10 (when he left his wallet at home). Handy.

All of that above and beyond the good humor, caring, loyal, blah, blah, blah that we forever talk about on here.

Like someone stated earlier it is not stating the requirements and desires for the potentials to “apply”. The desired qualities are just there or they aren’t.

By Cemeeli

August 29, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this

Wise Diva…hmmmm. Hey sis. Is it okay to email you? Will you be available to a reply back to me? jus a short side bar. Sister to sister.

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

LMAO. Get em Foots. She hit em with proof.

Cemeeli, I was gonna give it all to you, plane ticket, game ticket, parking pass. No need to stowaway! LOL

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

Prerequisites are my must-haves! a list of ‘em, nope, just some non-negotiables…..and when I concurred with that comment, it was in context. If you have any type of relationship with GOD, then he knows your heart…..so if you wanna go there, then go back to Genesis…..”GOD saw that Adam was lonely…” i.e., he knew what Adam’s heart desired…..and then to go a step further….it also says, “if you delight yourself in him, then he will give you the secret desires of your heart..” or something to that effect…..

By Atl Lady

August 29, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

Cee It’s family renuion weekend so will commit one of the deadiest sins which is gluttony. A lot of eating and drinking this weekend.

By Lady Sage aka Kym

August 29, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

PoppaG

You are correct it is about power, who has it and how they can keep it. And I don’t vote parties either I listen to what people are saying. Some one told me that people just need to have hope again. I told them I think the law is making me cynical as hell..because it is not the job of the government to give your behind hope. Faith and Hope are not functions of the govt. But since that seems to be the theme..both parties are running with it. Like I said when all this started if gas is 4.00 a gallon in November, chances are it will be still within that range come January.

By Foots

August 29, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

melo the maid ref,tho regrettable, dnt have to be in his crib,ur crib will do just fine

I just said the same basic thing to Slim…I think… LOL!!

2C without sounding arrogant, I’m leading in everythang!!!!

That’s respectable. It’s good to see a man willing to give first.

Amazon I read the article. That’s sad. Anything that can be taken as remotely sexual or sexually empowering scares the pants (no pun intended) off of people. It’s not even surprising that men would lead the charge against her business.

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

sure chica! wise.diva@gmail.com :)

By MELO

August 29, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

we can argue about aint gonna do this,be maid etc..i aint mechanic either even tho i fix a thing or 2 on her car(and loathe the wrd mech coz im not handy like that)….when the luv bug strikes at u,u do what u never imagined u wld do…and ur girlz look at u like,look at ms foots,on all 4s in the kitchen,wiping,girl,she in luv….all iam gonna say…seen it.

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this

WD

Foots is pretty good with that investigative and argument stuff. She would make a great attorney.

By SlimOne

August 29, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

I recall some author a while back telling women to stop acting like a wife when you’re just a girlfriend…cuz until you’re married, you’re not obligated to do anything.

It just seems when it comes to the matter of relationships, folks are constantly saying one thing but doing another or not meaning what they say or saying what they mean. For the most part, I do me and if it clicks with said person, then it clicks. If not, then it don’t. As a person gets more comfortable with who they are and learns more about themselves, it’s hard to do anything BUT do you. When you finally meet someone that encourages you to switch things up a bit or whatever the case maybe, you’ll probably find yourself doing all the things you had on your Do Not List anyway.

Reminds me of a time I was in my dorm room chatting with some chicks about what we would NEVER do, well…we know how that story ends. LOL!

By Foots

August 29, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

2CPTG Prerequisites are my must-haves! a list of ‘em, nope, just some non-negotiables…..

So why when women and some men listed their must-haves and non-negotiables, y’all thought it was silly when y’all have them too?

People were saying that they must-have someone who loves God, has a love of family, is supportive, etc. which are all respectable things to want in a mate, as is wanting someone to take care of the household, cook, and clean.

If you have more than one prerequisite, it forms a list. So, what is on your list of prerequisites besides a woman who can cook and knows how to take care of a home? What else does a man like you value in the mate that God knows you desire?

Raqi I guess we are both on the same page with that.

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

Foots, I guess you’re trying to say that’s a contradiction, but I don’t see it that way; My prerequisite comment was in response to Slim’s question….I don’t have such a list, but I do know what will/won’t work for me. And you asking what if GOD brought so and so to me, will I turn her away…..GOD ain’t gon’ put me to sleep and have just anybody lying next to me when I wake up…….

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

Kym

What I liked about Obama’s speech was the personal responsibility part of it. That is change that we all can take part in.

Politicians travel around kiss babies and such. While doing that, they found out what people’s fears are. Then they pander to those fears. Whether it was Rudy Guiliani who couldn’t give speech without mentioning 9/11 or McCain who, with the exception of the congratulations commerical last night, panders to the inexperience & raising taxes fear. No one really gives answers. Bush has done nothing but pander to fears of another attack.

Obama at least attempted to remind people that we all have more power.

Fear is the opposite of hope. If hope has no part of politics neither does fear. One serves no more of a purpose to the American people than the other.

By Do some homework

August 29, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

Kym ” told them I think the law is making me cynical as hell..Because it is not the job of the government to give your behind hope. Faith and Hope are not functions of the govt.” It is funny that you’ve said the same thing Barak said last night…..it is not the government’s job to give you hope and change things. It is up to us to change the government. We all must take responsibility in order to see changes come into fruition.

Barak is the only candidate that speaks to the people about taking responsibility for our lives….like making sure the TV goes off and kids get their homework done (he said this again last night).

Honey…of course the gas prices will remain high come Jan., but the point is we don’t need it to go higher for another 4 years. You are beginning to sound “clueless”.

By AmazonRed

August 29, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

If you have more than one prerequisite, it forms a list.

Foots, that sounds like simple math to me. LOL

By Lady Sage aka Kym

August 29, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

PoppaG The Republican pick is going to make for a interesting Nov. and since I work around a bunch of Dem leaders trust me when I say they were hit with a one two. So it is not an overstatement.

By Cemeeli

August 29, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

Wise check your inbox.

By Demi

August 29, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

2CPTG learning how to work on cars, fix most thing around the house and have the willing to learn how to cook has gotten me a lot of blessings.

Ladies, once I learn how to cook…I may not get married…unless she is a “jam” or something

Foots that mess goes both ways…your last post was well said

And another thing, people need to admit all those wife/husband like duties they were doing for S.O. that weren’t appreciative, has left them bitter.

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

“If you have more than one prerequisite, it forms a list. So, what is on your list of prerequisites besides a woman who can cook and knows how to take care of a home? What else does a man like you value in the mate that God knows you desire?”

Ok, couselor, I’ll bite…..she’s gotta be attractive - to me….her personality has to mesh well - with mine….her mental capacity has to be in line - with mine….her ambition has to be up to par -with mine…..so, you see where I’m going….all of those are relative. On the surface, do they appear to be some sort of superficial list?

By Foots

August 29, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this

2CPTG I don’t have such a list, but I do know what will/won’t work for me.

If you have more than one thing in that will/won’t category, it’s still a list. Calling it something different doesn’t make it different. Nothing is wrong with having an idea of what you want in a person. That’s all it is anyway, an idea of the qualities you’d like for your mate to possess, call it what you want.

Now, your idea can go out of the window if your ideas don’t line up to what God wants you to have. Your biggest desire could be to have a huge business so that you could leave wealth to your children, and maybe it would be a secondary desire to have a wife who could burn in the kitchen. God may send you a wife who didn’t learn to cook because she was busy learning how to build businesses up, because that woman would meet the main desire of your heart. With her, you may build exactly the business you want, but you may have to order out occasionally, cause y’all both working to build your empire.

Just sayin…we may all miss blessings because our focus is on our secondary desires.

By Cemeeli

August 29, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

Thanks Wise Lady ;)!

You all have a great weekend and holiday.

Live, Love and please LAUGH!

Be good and be easy.

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this

Kym

It is an overstatment. They are probably more surprised because it came out of left field. They were probably ready to go after Romney or Pawlenty. So, they have to do more research. Its the honeymoon period. She will be attacked just like Biden will be. CNN are showing people that aren’t impressed. Some really wanted someone with economy experience given the economy, and feel that Romney has that along with the experience of running a state. These are some Republican people talking. No dems.

But ultimately, McCain matters more. Obama matters more than Biden.

I’m of the true belief that all fund raising should be shared. The Dem and Repub work together to keep money to themselves. To run a campaign, it costs a lot of money. For example, 30-second spot during the olympics averaged 275,000.00. AS much as 750,000.00 for the openning ceremony. How many McCain and Obama commericials did you see? A lot if you watched the same olympics as I did. Green party candidate (who isn’t on all the ballots, including GA) Cynthia McKinney and Libertarian Cadidate Bob Barr can’t compete with the money. No money no exposure. No exposure people forget you.

The most successful third party candidate have been people with their own money like Ross Perot & Ralph Nader.

That’s why power and money go together in politics.

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this

Foots….we really are getting caught up in semantics….cause GOD ain’t bout to bring you nothing!!!! You gotta make a move to get what you want….Now, I do believe if you are in line with him, he “will direct your paths” to find the woman, or man, for you; based on what you like……Cain’t nann one of y’all say ya mate just knocked on your door, tombout, GOD sent me!

By Foots

August 29, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this

2CPTG she’s gotta be attractive - to me….her personality has to mesh well - with mine….her mental capacity has to be in line - with mine….her ambition has to be up to par -with mine…..so, you see where I’m going….all of those are relative. On the surface, do they appear to be some sort of superficial list?

That sounds like a good woman. Very many people had substantive lists of qualities they were looking for the other day too, and yours fits right in line with what other people said they desired. Nothing wrong with any of it. You good with me.

Slim I recall some author a while back telling women to stop acting like a wife when you’re just a girlfriend…cuz until you’re married, you’re not obligated to do anything.

I agree. But he can see all the ways that I could add value to our relationship just by watching the things I do for myself and the way I take care of myself like Raqi said.

He sees my car clean (matter of fact, he told me that he had never seen the inside of a woman’s car as clean as mine) and my house clean and knows that I can clean and keep a home tidy. I don’t have to clean his car or apt right now, he sees that I can and that’s enough for him.

I know that he can face a problem of his head on, make a decision quickly, follow through and be satisfied with his results. He buys what he needs with his money and saves the rest. He doesn’t have to deal with my problems or my money right now, I already see that he can deal with his, and that’s enough for me.

So that’s all we’re saying, your skill set is on display, even if you’re not doing it expressly for him. Most people just want to know that you’re capable and willing to do it.

By MELO

August 29, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this

For a man who is 72 years old and has had four bouts with cancer to have chosen someone so completely unqualified to become president is shockingly irresponsible. Suddenly, McCain’s age and health become central issues in the campaign, as does his judgment. Paul Begala

“Today, John McCain put the former mayor of a town of 9,000 with zero foreign policy experience a heartbeat away from the presidency,” Burton said in a statement.

MCCAIN=BRAIN DEAD

HAPPY LONG WEEKEND FOLKS

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this

Have a safe weekend, Cemeeli, my pleasure :)

By Demi

August 29, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this

2CPTG I think your list needs to read more like most of the ladies:

I feel your list has too much common sense and is too realistic.

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

Poppa Grande I am SO enjoying your political insight today. YOu have a very pragmatic stance, reminds me of my dad.

By Foots

August 29, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

2CPTG You alright with me. This day passed by very quickly with our discussion. I hope you find that woman who encompasses the desires of your heart, you’re better equipped than many to get there.

Y’all have a good holiday weekend. I’m bout to get mine started RET NOW!! LOL!

By Atl Lady

August 29, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this

Poppa It’s funny that’s how you feel considering that the Republican party has historically raised more money the Democrats until Obama. The republicans wre calling for campaign reform, but that same reform has hurt McCain in raising money. It hurt Hillary also which is partly why she’s so far in debt. Don’t you think it would hurt fundraising if I knew that money given to support one candidate was shared with another candidate that was struggling?

By Demi

August 29, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

Cain’t nann one of y’all say ya mate just knocked on your door, tombout, GOD sent me!

LOL

I’m gettin jacked, I’m breakin myself I can’t believe they taking Warren’s wealth they took my rings, they took my rolex I looked at the brotha said “Damn, what’s next?”

By 2CPTG

August 29, 2008 4:47 PM | Link to this

Demi, that’s just it, bruh….my “list” ain’t like that….as you said, my ideal lady is based on common sense, and a mutual attraction.

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 4:48 PM | Link to this

for the first time in like 2 years, I am not traveling during Labor Day weekend. I can’t even pick the activities/parties/debauchery I will get into. Too many OPTIONS. Maybe I should stay at home and practice cooking, LOL

FYI, my place is clean, but I still want a maid, LOL

By Demi

August 29, 2008 4:50 PM | Link to this

Power and the money, money and the power Minute after minute, hour after hour Everybody’s runnin, but half of them ain’t lookin It’s goin on in the kitchen, but I dont know what’s cookin They say I got ta learn, but nobody’s here to teach me If they cant understand it, how can they reach me? I guess they cain’t — I guess they won’t I guess they front; that’s why I know my life is outta luck, fool

We’ve been spending most our lives Living in the Gangsta’s Paradise….

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

WD

Poppa Grande I am SO enjoying your political insight today. YOu have a very pragmatic stance, reminds me of my dad.

Thanks. I’ve had people (Mary Norwood) tell me that I should think about politics. I’ve actually said some of this to Caesar Mitchell and Lamar (H. Lamar Willis). All three are on Atlanta City Council. I think all three are running to be the next mayor. I know Mary and Caesar are.

Who knows? I just don’t care for grown ups, though. You can’t tell grown folks nothin’!! I try to help kids all day long but don’t get me started on trifling grown folks.

By Demi

August 29, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this

2CPTG when you think about it…most real dudes think that way.

It seems to take most women a long time to learn how pointless those long lists are.

By Leggs

August 29, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this

Finally massa let me come up for some air. It’s lil leggs b-day today and we’re going to a h.s. football game (what fun#@$!)

Good night everyone.

Watch your consumption. The police are out in full force just waiting to catch you!

Stay aware and stay alert and walk that straight and narrow this weekend!

By Demi

August 29, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

Hello my love I heard a kiss from you Red magic satin playing near, too All through the morning rain I gave The sun doesn’t shine Rainbows and waterfalls run through my mind

You know who you are Ms. Sleepyhead, LOL

By Poppa Grande

August 29, 2008 5:03 PM | Link to this

ATL

Don’t you think it would hurt fundraising if I knew that money given to support one candidate was shared with another candidate that was struggling?

Oh well…

I think that the two big parties work this current system together in order to keep the other viable options out.

It should be more of a level playing field.

If all that was raised was 15.00 and there were three candidates then 5.00 for everyone.

Which means you gotta get back to grassroots and get people who believe in you to knock on doors and such.

I’m impressed (have always been) with Obama’s 21st century grassroots campaign style through texting and the internet. It allows more people to be part of the process.

That would be the only other method that I support. All parties get to use this method and get their footsoldier out.

By Wise Diva

August 29, 2008 5:12 PM | Link to this

Thanks again everyone, You’ve been outstanding!

Have a wonderful, safe and happy long weekend! Hugs and kisses to you all!

By lurker

August 29, 2008 5:14 PM | Link to this

Men

After reading all the posts today, who is wifey material to you?