Misadventures in Atlanta

By Wise Diva

August 25, 2008 8:13 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone! Happy Monday :)

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 8:24 AM | Link to this

Goodie Mob Morning to ya’ll…

If you are dating someone new, how do you determine what their intentions are? Do you generally decide by the actions, words, money or time spent? Well, when i date someone new, initially i try to figure out what it is I want from them before i go trying to figure out what they want from me. I mean, if i have not yet figured out if i want to date them for the potential of a r’ship, then i could care less what their intentions are. However, once i think i’ve figured that out, you get a feel for where they are coming from through conversation, actions, time spent, effort etc. I don’t go by the amount of money spent because that really could mean jack squat. Hence the phrase, “It ain’t trickin if you got it”. So you could meet a dude who is dayum near making it rain for you. but if he ‘has it like that’ I doubt it would make you any more special than the last chick he did that for. To me, genuine effort goes a whole lot further.

As far as putting someone on the DNA list, i would have to NOT be attracted to them at all or felt he was being psychotically aggressive…you know the types that call you a million times, don’t allow any time for YOU to call Them back, or that starts off talking about wedding or baby-making plans, Or the dudes that’s professing his love for you before he knows your last name.

By QC

August 25, 2008 8:26 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Bloggers.. This topic should bring some sunshine on this gloomy Monday..have a great day everyone..

QC gotta sip on this 20oz coke for a minutes, i’ll check back later

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

Good morning All Slim My brotha been calling you 999,000 times and you ain’t call him back yet LOL

If you are dating someone new, how do you determine what their intentions are? By his actions, words are sweet and yes it’s somethings I need/want to hear but when it comes to action you can never go wrong.

As for being a booty call, a girlfriend or being used for personal gain- I can say I’ve been all 3 at one time or another and heck one time I was all three rolled in one for this one guy.

Ladies, when you meet a new guy, do you size men up for these categories? All the time.

By Dan

August 25, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

I usually get tagged with:

“You gotta girlfriend somewhere” or;

“You just want some arse” or;

“You just want me to fund your habits.”

In the past most of this may have been true, but lately I’ve been on some getting better ish.

but that has ended as I now realize that no matter what I try to do, I’m going to be branded.

So might as well play the dog that I’m accused of being…keep me from getting my feelings hurt anymore…

The D is back!!!!

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

test es, test es 1..2…1…2

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this

MIL LOL! I tell you another thing that irritates me is when you just meet someone and in the first conversation they dude is asking you to come over to watch a movie at their place. I’m beginning to think more often than not, chicks are actually doing this, cause i can’t see why dudes would keep asking if it’s never worked.

Dan So if a chick you just met that you invited to come over and watch a movie actually took you up on your offer, what do you think about her?

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this

Slim it does work TRUST, how do you think blockbusters stay in business?

By Leggs

August 25, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

Good morning EVERYONE!!

Some have been trying to place me in “booty” catergory, but I won’t fold. There’s a gentleman interested in me, but he’s always out of town so that probably won’t work. Yes, anything is possible. Anyway, I try my best to steer clear of those booty callers.

*…how do you determine what their intentions are? Do you generally decide by the actions, words, money or time spent? I would have to pay attention to their actions more so than words. Words from sentences and sentences form paragraphs will can amount to a heap of BS! Actions are telltale signs that are more important to me.

By SlimDiva

August 25, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

SlimOne…I concur! I can’t stand a dude asking me to come over to a watch a movie shortly after meeting me. I DON’T let down like that! You’re right…there are women who are ACTUALLY doing this! Men must realize that it doesn’t work on every woman because NOT all of us are that dayuum desperate.

As far as sizing up a man…I do it in order to determine whether or not I’m interested. I’m NOT looking for a booty call or to use anyone. I’m NOT a golddigga, neither am I promiscuous. I’m looking for RELATIONSHIP status…something solid. Now that I’m older (mid 40s, but still look late 20s/early 30s), I know what I want AND what I DON’T want!

By Dan

August 25, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

@MLL

I’s think she wanted to watch a movie…until she started after Panthro, until then, popcorn and movie for me.

By Dan

August 25, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Sorry that was in response to Slim’s post

By Dan

August 25, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

That was for Slim’s post.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this

Dan zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

If you are dating someone new, how do you determine what their intentions are?

It doesn’t really matter what their intentions are, I’ll only allow you in my life if they are good. You can try to put me in booty call zone, or personal gain zone. That will only happen if I allow it, and I don’t. Most guys are impatient and know there is plenty of booty out there and chicks willing to be sugar mommas to put up with someone like me that will take her sweet time trying to figure out what you want. Even if the relationship does not progress to boyfriend/girlfriend level, it doesn’t mean you got any of the other categories either. LOL

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

Feel free to ask our readers to help you. They are, after all, dating veterans too!

yes they are! i didn’t know i was a booty call back in GA dating this guy i really liked a lot.

WHO HAS THAT BOOTY AGREEMENT? POST IT PLEASE!

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

SlimDiva I guess that request automatically makes me think back to my freshman year in college. This dude call my dorm at 3am, first of all asks me what I’m doing…..wth! I think most folks are SLEEP at that time of morn, then he asks if i want to come over to watch a movie. You must done bumped cho head! lol There is nothing wrong with it after we’ve hung out with each other and established some level of comfort. I think i’m going to start asking dudes if they want to come over and lick the toe jam out between my toes after meeting one time and see what they say. (Matter of fact, i need to pay a camera crew to follow me around while i commit all the dating no no’s men normally do and call the show “Like a Boy” lol)

By Blue_Kolla

August 25, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

Guys, what causes a woman’s long-term relationship potential profile to rise with you?

Every babe, woman, broad, female, dame, etc. starts off on deck with a “she can get it” on her nameplate. Men promote women to pinch runners/hitters, star shortstops, aces on the mound, etc based on what a woman shows him.

Aside from her cup size and how she looks in those jeans, how do you identify the ones that are jumpoffs and the ones that you take home to Mom one day?

I’m not about to lay it out AGAIN, because many dudes (LL, SeanJ, Rell, 2, Pop, DK, abc, me, hell… even Dan) have stated many times right here on this blog what makes a woman long-term/wifey material.

Off Topic: All I want to know is why is the Australian women’s basketball team out there looking all thick wit’it in their body-suit uniforms (that #10 and #12 can get it for real.) and the American women are out there looking like dudes with long hair, with them big azz baggy shorts, knee braces, and hardrock walks?!

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

SlimDiva I guess that request automatically makes me think back to my freshman year in college. This dude call my dorm at 3am, first of all asks me what I’m doing…..wth! I think most folks are SLEEP at that time of morn, then he asks if i want to come over to watch a movie. You must done bumped cho head! lol There is nothing wrong with it after we’ve hung out with each other and established some level of comfort. I think i’m going to start asking dudes if they want to come over and lick the toe jam out between my toes after meeting one time and see what they say. (Matter of fact, i need to pay a camera crew to follow me around while i commit all the dating no no’s men normally do and call the show “Like a Boy” lol)

By Dan

August 25, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

Really BK?

hell… even Dan?

Throwing shots early? That’s the kinda day this gone be?

j/k bnr

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this

um Beautiful I’n no dating veteran….I’m still in infancy stage LOL where’s my bib?

How are you doing?

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

rotflmbo *Slimeone the nerve of some men!

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

THE PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT

This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to herein as the “Agreement”) is entered into as of the _ day

of __, 2008, by and between ____ and

____.

THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS: The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, this Agreement will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. You will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly azz understand the rules.

Participating Party Signature:

Date:____

Participating Party Signature:

Date: ___

By 2CPTG

August 25, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

‘sup……I’mma be real withcha….Ladies, y’all really have no idea which categoy you’re in; You can speculate all day long, but unless we reveal your actual status, you very well could be temporary entertainment.

By Foots

August 25, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Ladies, when you meet a new guy, do you size men up for these categories

Maybe for two out of the three categories. I’ve never been one to use a man for gain. Like Blue said, it depends on what he shows me which category he gets put in. Even with that, I get too easily exasperated with inconsistent people so the booty calls wouldn’t stay booty calls for long.

The vast majority of the men I meet have relationship potential. If we get there, wonderful. If not, I’m on to the next long-term opportunity.

By Dan

August 25, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

@Slim

I’ll expect your signed copy in the mail in 2 days.

My half for the ticket will follow.

By Blue_Kolla

August 25, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

Dan Really BK?

Yeap.

Throwing shots early? That’s the kinda day this gone be?

Nope. Get out’cha feelings. Go back and read what I said and then lay that out beside your own self-proclaimed “mack is back” stylo that you throw on the blog floor and you’ll see that yeah, even you Dan has tried to lay down some science for the female constituency.

j/k bnr

^^^ Be cool with that type of comment; tends to turn small sh!t into big sh!t.

By lurker

August 25, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

I have to agree with 2CPTG on this topic. Maybe because I’ve not had much luck lately but I’m really convinced and of the simple mind that it’s a man’s world. I’m a good girl and it seems to me that good girls lose out and the bad ones although not much use after having their backs beat out, are crowding us out and clouding the men’s judgement. JMHO

By Foots

August 25, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

Slim Well, when i date someone new, initially i try to figure out what it is I want from them before i go trying to figure out what they want from me.

I read that earlier, and I thought it needed to be highlighted. Not too long ago in my dating life, I spent so much time wondering about whether a new person liked me that I didn’t spend the time I needed to figure out whether I liked him. I realized that I may have been putting my time and energy into somebody I wasn’t too sold on. Once I figured out my error, dating became much less stressful and more fun, and I was able to put my time into people I could really be into.

By Leggs

August 25, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

2C, that’s about as real as it gets! Thanks for posting that.

By Tazzee

August 25, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

Since I’m only looking for a long-term relationship, I only entertain guys that show LTR potential. The only way I can determine what category a guy has put me in is to sit back and watch. But I’m sure to make my intentions known up front and in time I’ll see if his are in line with mine.

As far as the good lipstick and hot shoes - all guys that get a first date get those. But like we discussed last week - a guy doesn’t get a first date if he doesn’t display some sort of potential with his first impression. If I find out later he’s looking for a booty call then there are no more dates.

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

Dan To be honest with you any of my CF(cutfriend) or FWB type situations have never been like the one described in the Pre-Booty Call agreement. Let me go through the list…Hmmm

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

slim you forgot one! no seeing each other during the daytime (when the sun is out).

MLL sup girlie! you do anything you can’t tell yo momma bout/fun this w/e? lol. i was fresh meat at my sister’s church yesterday in Vallejo, CA. lol. i loved every minute of it. the men looked oh so yummy. don’t know who was married or not though.

2c you headed in the right direction this morning.

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this

dan BK’s comment wasn’t a jab at you. go back and reread.

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Dan To be honest with you any of my CF(cutfriend) or FWB type situations have never been like the one described in the Pre-Booty Call agreement. Let me go through the list…Hmmm

By Tazzee

August 25, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

2can good point, but sometimes even when a guy ‘reveals’ the status that might not be the true status. So I just watch and wait.

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

‘sup……I’mma be real withcha….Ladies, y’all really have no idea which categoy you’re in; You can speculate all day long, but unless we reveal your actual status, you very well could be temporary entertainment.

Soooo 2CPTG, if you refuse to engage in activities that make you “temporary entertainment” then how can you be placed in those categories?

Intentions don’t always wind up being the actual result.

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

if you refuse to engage in activities that make you “temporary entertainment” then how can you be placed in those categories?

i guess i won’t be anyone’s anything anytime soon then.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

LOL Beautiful I went on my first date with a guy I met and the jury is still out on this one. Time will see what catergory applies.

By 2CPTG

August 25, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

A Red temporary entertainment ain’t necessarily about sex, so you don’t have to engage in such activities, to be labeled as such; You could be a tweener, and still qualify; meaning, I may hang out with you just to kill time!

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

MLL wanna know if he likes you? don’t call his azz. if he calls trippin’ … bingo! also, let him ask for the 2nd date. that shows interest. and if he goes outta his way for you. he can never be too busy!

fellas did i miss anything?

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

ain’t necessarily about sex,

2CPTG - Didn’t say it was tho. I’d venture that we’re all tweeners tho, until the right one comes along. That’s what dating and getting to know someone in the first place is all about.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

LOL, he asked for a second date at the first date….Beautful that’s suppose to be a good thing right? NOT- since you’ve had a couple of beers in you before the first date. smh

By Foots

August 25, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

2CTPG You could be a tweener, and still qualify; meaning, I may hang out with you just to kill time!

Definitely had one of these before I met my current SO. We hung out about three months, great guy, new to the city, several years younger than me. Wasn’t really looking for him to be more than a friend, so I kept my options open. We went out to eat, watched movies, caught a few events and went out with us on my birthday. We had fun and enjoyed each other’s company.

I told him that I did want something more stable and that I’d be looking for that elsewhere so he wouldn’t be all that surprised when I had to cut him loose if I got serious with someone else. When I cut him loose, I got cussed out anyway. Oh well…

By Dan

August 25, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

When in doubt follow the 11pm rule.

If he thinks you’re a jumpoff, he’ll call after 11pm, if not, it’s safe to say that he prolly wants to just chill.

By Leggs

August 25, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

Beautful that’s suppose to be a good thing right? NOT- since you’ve had a couple of beers in you before the first date. That’s funny!

Hell, we’re all “tweeners”,some more than others are “faking interest” until we can get to the front door to make a mad sprint, “sizing” this and that person up to determine if they warrant a ‘second’ date, “padding” our credentials, while all are trying to look through the many layers of a person trying to see the “real” preson.

By IslandGirl

August 25, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

Slim thanks for posting the agreement. Now, I need a notary to sign off on the darn thing…LoL

2CPTG LOL!!! A tweener…just to kill time! I’ve never heard of this…lol.

Ared The weekend round up> I got my LL Cool J fix on Friday…..God, he is so fine.

Happy Monday Everybody!

By Foots

August 25, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

Beautiful Regarding your 11:10, men show interest to a woman that they are attracted to. He still may not decide that he doesn’t want anything long-term. A man can do all of that stuff while he’s attracted physically and then realize that he may not really like you, your way of life, your personality (mentally and emotionally) after a period of time.

To try to be careful, women will usually wait until she sees that “interest” before she puts her real energy into a man. Our mistake is that when we become “all in” and start thinking commitment (based on the fact that he’s doing everything right), it’s usually when the guy pulls back and really starts looking at what he has in us. It doesn’t even have to be that he’s playing a game, he just may have genuinely figured out that although you cute and fine, you don’t have what he’s looking for once he gets to know you. If you remember that a guy doesn’t even have to know your last name to be intimate with you, you’ll see the pattern. He’s attracted, you’re attracted. He’s consistent, you gain confidence. You sleep together. You get to know him, you like him more, you’re committed. He gets to know you, he likes you less, he starts disappearing. You’re wondering what the hell happened since he was so interested in the beginning. He meets someone else he’s attracted to…

There are no hard, fast rules about it. Only time will tell you what you have. One of the keys is to find somebody who is looking for what you are looking for at the time you’re looking for it (timing) and make sure that there is physical, emotional, and mental compatibility (chemistry). The rest is you just being you and him just being him. If it’s supposed to work out, it will.

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

I got my LL Cool J fix on Friday…..God, he is so fine.

screams - IslandGirl, oh no you didn’t! You win. LOL

By Foots

August 25, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Slim I did see The Dark Knight this weekend. I thought that all the Oscar buzz around Heath Ledger was because of his death, but naw, he really tore that role up. Just an amazing performance. I was almost tired just from watching all the action, it never seemed to stop. A couple of times, I was left with my mouth hanging open.

Anybody who has a Costco membership Did y’all know that they sell movie passes in there? We got passes for $14.99 and the tickets would have cost $20 at the box office for the evening show. You just trade them in for the movie you want to see at the box office. It’s like paying for two child tickets.

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Foots Yeah i used to do the same thing when i was younger. Sit there and try to anaylze the guy’s behavior and/or conversation to see if i’d fit into his categories of wants in a female. But now newly back into the dating scene i’m finding it sort of crazy out here. On one hand, i was introduced to a guy who I’m, in no shape or form physically attracted to. However, enjoy talking to him. We have good conversations. The thing is i know that i don’t see him as dating potential even though i’m sure he’s seeking that. I told him i wasn’t looking for anything other than hanging out for the time being. Then on the other hand, i met this younger…way younger dude. I’m physically attracted to him but i think that’s as far as it goes. Not to mention he has a 1yr old daughter..and stated hes not sure if he and the baby mama will get their act together or not. On the 3rd hand i have a friend who i’ve messed around with on a few ocassions that i enjoy hanging out with, but just don’t see that ever turning into anything more than what it’s been. So i guess you can say I’m just floating right now.

2CPTG Guess i’m looking for a tweener with potential. lol

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Foots He’s attracted, you’re attracted. He’s consistent, you gain confidence. You sleep together. You get to know him, you like him more, you’re committed. He gets to know you, he likes you less, he starts disappearing. You’re wondering what the hell happened since he was so interested in the beginning. He meets someone else he’s attracted to…

for me it’s like this:He’s attracted, you’re attracted. He’s consistent, you gain confidence. You don’t sleep together. He starts disappearing.

By Foots

August 25, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Slim You got three hands?!?! LOL!

Girl, throw them in, you need to get dealt a new hand…I think I have a full deck in my purse somewhere, let me check….

You sure that you’re not attracted to good conversation guy??

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

Foots I too went to check out the Dark Knight on Saturday. Me and my buddy went and I enjoyed watching Ledger’s Joker performance. It was so disturbingly wicked. Now if i could only get my friend to put on that batman suit and utility belt. lololol!

By Poppa Grande

August 25, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

Anybody who has a Costco membership Did y’all know that they sell movie passes in there? We got passes for $14.99 and the tickets would have cost $20 at the box office for the evening show. You just trade them in for the movie you want to see at the box office. It’s like paying for two child tickets.

Hey, Foots. Not only do they sell those tickets. They even have tickets for a Chattanooga get away for 159.00 which includes tickets to the Chattanooga aquarium/Imax for two and a one night stay at the Chattanooga Choo Choo Holiday Inn. Braves Tix.

Also, we own an Entertainment book and they have Regal Theater tickets that sell movie tickets for kids price for everyone (including adults) multiple up to 5. The requirement is that the movie has to have been out at least 2 weeks. The book cost$20-$25 and have coupons to Kroger, restaraunts, just about anything. It helps us keep our budget.

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

this is the first time in my life that i don’t have any potentials … none. cell is not ringing, no e-mails, no instant messages. it’s weird and at the same time refreshing.

By Love

August 25, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

Foots: I think you totally nailed it.

I recently ended a year & half relationship with a guy. It was totally exhausting!!! No PEACE, No LOVE!

By 2CPTG

August 25, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

“Guess i’m looking for a tweener with potential”

Really, that’s what it’s all about….

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

slim my vote is for conversation guy!

By Foots

August 25, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

MLL He’s attracted, you’re attracted. He’s consistent, you gain confidence. You don’t sleep together. He starts disappearing.

Same thing though really, he got to know you and decided that it wasn’t for him before he bonded. Some guys disappear before you go there because they realize that you’re about something or that you want something and they’re not where you are right now; they don’t want to waste your time. Some guys disappear because you wouldn’t sleep with them and they want sex. I think that most guys believe that some type of physical intimacy (doesn’t have to be sex) is necessary for them to move on to the next level of mental and emotional intimacy, so if they’re getting nothing (no kiss, no touch, no knowledge that you’re physically interested), they move on.

That’s why I don’t think it’s as simple as words or actions. It’s words, actions, time, timing, chemistry, and whether or not each offers what the other is looking for.

By Dan

August 25, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

@MLL

right there “you don’t sleep together”, you do get why t[he]y keep disappearing right?

By Leggs

August 25, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

If he thinks you’re a jumpoff, he’ll call after 11pm, if not, it’s safe to say that he prolly wants to just chill. Not true, jumpoffs occur as early as 9:00 p.m.! Hell some under the pretense as chilling as early as 7:00. My point is, really any time now can be considered a jump off. Don’t let daylight fool you!

I believe it was 2C who said (paraphrase) the key is to mask your true intentions and then you can get what she didn’t think you actually came for. Something like that!!

By Foots

August 25, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

Poppa Grande They even have tickets for a Chattanooga get away for 159.00 which includes tickets to the Chattanooga aquarium/Imax for two and a one night stay at the Chattanooga Choo Choo Holiday Inn

Thanks!! Imma have to look into that one. I’ve been wanting to go to Chattanooga to the aquarium for a minute.

I also need one of those entertainment books. I used to buy them when I was in college and only used the fast food coupons. LOL! But now, I may could do some things with it.

By Wise Diva

August 25, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

@ Mll that Is how it goes down with me too

By QC

August 25, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

^5 2cptg

;) BK

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

Foots/Beautiful I positive I’m not feeling Mr Convo like that which is ashame because he seems to be such a good dude. I believe it was last week on the blog when we discussed “chemistry” in dating. I’m an affectionate type of person and not one time have i been around this person and want to be in his intimate space or want him in mine. Is intimate space about 2 to 3 feet here in the US?

By aqualung

August 25, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

I use the same criteria for all men.

1) educated with an advanced degree 2) salary of $100k+ 3) product of a 2 parent home (no b*******, no children of divorce)

I will be engaged by December 31st, but I’ll retain my prettiest boy toy and my German…indefinitely.

By MELO

August 25, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

Foots and all ladies,why is that most ladies start becoming more attached once we sleep together.Im thinking if uall ladies acted the same way after the sleeping together as u did before,things wld be way too simpler for the guy and for ladies.There wld be no need for the guy to run away after the pudsy coz he dosnt feel the strangulation from ur emotions and that way,he has a better way of assessing u coz he is not hurried,which might actually turn out good in the lady’s favor…And u have more time to assess him as well coz he hasnt run away,so u all enjoying each other(sex wise,and companionship) but u got him in yr corner 4 longer…win>win,if u ask me…..

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

Beautiful take advantage of the downtime, before you know it the phones will be ringing, your text will be chirping and you will have an overflow of emails.

Wise Diva & Foots I let him know up front so that we won’t waste each other’s time.

Hey Leggs you got that right 11 pm isn’t the only time for a booty call, Unk used to have his as early as 7 in the morning LOL

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

Foots/Beautiful I positive I’m not feeling Mr Convo like that which is ashame because he seems to be such a good dude. I believe it was last week on the blog when we discussed “chemistry” in dating. I’m an affectionate type of person and not one time have i been around this person and want to be in his intimate space or want him in mine. Is intimate space about 2 to 3 feet here in the US?

By Dan

August 25, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

@MLL and WD

Let’s be clear about this…

You’re dating men with whom you share no physical intimacy? Then are you celibate?

Because from a male perspective, if I’m dating a woman that won’t get intimate with me, I have to presume that she is getting intimate with someone…

It feels like a “damned if you do,..” situation, but in the end how are you explaining this to guys?

“I’m celibate for the 2 weeks, and I just want to take things slowly with you.”

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

I believe it was 2C who said (paraphrase) the key is to mask your true intentions and then you can get what she didn’t think you actually came for. Something like that!!

The key to stupidity maybe. So the fact that you come over and act like you don’t want means I’m gonna give you because you weren’t overt about it?

Maybe in ‘dating for dummies.’ I’d hope as we reach 30+ we’d be a tad over the “reverse psychology” bit in dating.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

It’s all good Dan I’d rather have a man in my corner who respects my wishes over a quick roll in the bed anytime.

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

aqualung your life just flashed in front on my eyes. in two years you are one miserible, lonely, depressed broad. not once did you mention anything about love, etc.

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

My 12:11 had a couple of underscores there that didn’t make it thru the system.

Im thinking if uall ladies acted the same way after the sleeping together as u did before,things wld be way too simpler for the guy and for ladies

melo - That sentiment was actually expressed in a relationship book I read.

By DasV

August 25, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

good morning good ppl

Foots good-lookin out on the Costco movie tickets…. neva knew that. (and thanks Poppa on the Chatty hookup) what you stumble up on customer service and asked them what they do?? LOL

SlimOne lol@ looking for a ‘tweener with potential’….. aint we all? and what Foots intimated earlier might be true…. sounds like you need to toss that deck you working with and just go sit down for minute. (i would pat the seat next to me… but i dont roll that way) LOL

2 i wouldnt think that your logical side would necessitate a tweener with potential. if you know what want, your uncanny ability to size ppl up wouldnt have you wit no tweener….. unless you hopin they up they game. but ‘trust’ or ‘hope’ dont exist in math.

on topic cataloging people is essential for women especially bec too quick, too soon our hearts/emotions take over and we into something we ought not be with worse someone we should be in it with. but for it to work for real, our standard or catalog key better be set in stone.

hey waving BK….

By Foots

August 25, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

melo Things would be a lot simpler if we truly liked each other for who we were before sleeping together. No need to cling because you know you already have something. No need to run because you actually know, like, and want to be with this person.

What would be really helpful is if women internalize the fact that most dudes can sleep with a woman if he likes the shape of her booty (or other parts), no knowledge of personality or potential necessary, and if men internalize the fact that most women bond during sex because it is an emotional experience, sometimes even more than a physical one. We gotta know each other and handle ourselves accordingly.

By MELO

August 25, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

have u consiered that in your dating experience ared,since reading the book..i mean do u think that has sme validity??

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

Melo if I sleep with every man I date I’d be garden tool(d) out.

Dan Do you sleep with every woman you date?

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

Oldie -from a gentleman on Black Voices

Bottom line—if I sleep with a woman I don’t know or care about SEX is NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago) That kind of sex is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he’s through. He ain’t sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt scratching it. He’s moving on with his life until that spot itches again and it don’t matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid of the itch.

Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and pretend we’re having a “relationship” when it’s NOTHING but a booty call. Come on, ladies, y’all know I’m telling the truth.

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this

have u consiered that in your dating experience ared,since reading the book..i mean do u think that has sme validity??

Yes. I think it is quite valid. And I think if I stay true to my own personal beliefs and views on sex, I won’t have to worry about acting or being different just because we did the horizontal tango.

By MELO

August 25, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

MLL, yes..but im thinking,sleep with only those who are deserving in ur book..u want to do it with them,u think they deserve it or u want to take it to the next level and dnt mind giving them a treat….not evry tom,dick and harry who says hello at publix,lets go have a drink….

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this

part 2…

Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us BEFORE you know us or what we’re about. Having sex with a man does not automatically make that a “relationship”. Many women will deny they think like this s but I’m speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that make? Why should that woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT MARRY YOU HE IS STILL SINGLE. The “other woman” is not breaking up a “happy home”.

Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down the aisle didn’t change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know it was acceptable by sticking around that long

Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to stop “rewarding” unfaithful men by pretending it ain’t happening. All of us BM do not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don’t buy the hype. I know other BM who do not but many men WILL cheat if there are NO real penalties for it

By Foots

August 25, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

Slim I feel you. I was introduced to a guy last fall (he and my co-worker’s husband were friends) and he was alright in terms of having his head on straight, but we didn’t click according to me. Nor was I attracted to him. He was all in though. We hung out for about two months before I knew FOR SURE it wasn’t going anywhere and put an end to things. That one goes into the file where the timing was right, but the chemistry wasn’t there.

And you good, cause I don’t think I let him get within 5 feet of me. We even watched movies on different couches. LOL!!

By Brooklyn

August 25, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

If you are dating someone new, how do you determine what their intentions are? Do you generally decide by the actions, words, money or time spent?

It’s pretty easy to determine someone’s intentions by simply reading between the line. I am by no means a dating veteran but I’ve dated enough losers, er, I mean, guys to know what they are truly seeking in spite of the beautiful words that may spill out of their mouth. I put every single guy under the radar and give them little test just to get an idea of whether they are really serious on dating or just looking for a booty call. So in the end when their actions match their words regardless of how much money they dole out, that’s when I may start thinking that they may be the real deal. Sometimes I just wish men will come out and say “hey, all I want from you is a**” Who know? That may just be all I want from him!

By Brian

August 25, 2008 12:55 PM | Link to this

Whats up Guys. Dan your morning 9:08 AM post,, Hits it right on the head.. I get tired of explaining why Im still single, no kids.. Its like u got to defend yourself or something.. Im going to start answering that question with,, there are alot of Oes out there, and its tough weeding through them to find a decent one..

By Leggs

August 25, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

“hey, all I want from you is a” Who know? That may just be all I want from him! EXACTLY. Had to tell the guy at the liquor this past Saturday that I thanked him for his honesty, but we’re both looking for different things. He then said sure wished I had phrased that differently, had to laugh and say, but you didn’t! We both laughed. Hell, gotta respect the honesty!

By Wise Diva

August 25, 2008 1:11 PM | Link to this

um Dan, some dudes dip out because you won’t give it up FAST enough. I don’t even get a chance to tell them if I am celibate or not. However, no, I don’t do random dizzle.

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this

horizontal tango, random dizzle y’all funny! lol.

slim i’m surprised you’re single. you’re very pretty. there’s a male blogger who just adores you. you’re still young, don’t worry to much about it, k.

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this

part 3…

Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON’T KNOW. That means fewer opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle. Worry LESS about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those e ears and listen. Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don’t be so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last. If he dogged her out, you will probably be NEXT.

Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did you ask if he’s married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. Stop INTERPRETING the meaning of what he says to fit your purposes. If he says, “I’m not lookin’ for nothing right now” — DON’T tell yourself, “Aw, he just scared of getting hurt. I can change his mind..” NO YOU CAN’T. He said exactly what the hell he meant. BM don’t have to lie when so many BW are already DEAF

Show our azz the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don’t be afraid to be alone. After you give our azz some you will probably be alone anyway but now you feel like a fool. In other words, take your time and check us out. if we REALLY like you, we’ll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know, PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That’s not how it works, baby

By Rell (TOS)

August 25, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

why do the guys have to b itch all the time when the topics come up…..if you talking to a chick and she starts asking why you dont have kids..then you know her mental state is warped..why explain yourself….stop trying to fit a circle in a square hole…move on….date outside ya race…travel…give your time to a cause…hell i hear the feed the hungry event every year is stock with women…and any women that will give her time during those time should at least get a look…stop treating ho ‘s like ladies and ladies like ho ‘s…thats the problem all you belly achin weenies should stop chasing these lil bust downs on your job and improve your inner man so the confidence will come thru….when that happens you will not have to explain yourself because the women will be trying to keep up…..dayum is it that hard….

By Dan

August 25, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

@WD

that’s my point. You don’t do “random’ dizzle, you do who you know. But then you would ask a guy to simply accept that usually hidden fact in an effort to get to know “him” better.

Cards on the table, if I meet a woman, I generally assume she’d getting sexed by somebody. Generally, I’m geniunely interested in exploring something with her or trying to get into the rotation.

Either way, I presume that she gittin from somewhere (same as women do). My thing is to be upfront about it. If I’m currently sexing a lady that is not the one in front of me, then she has a right to know - and I will tell her.

I just hate that grown people can’t handle situations as adults, present the options available and the situation as it t-i-is and let the person make the choice.

@MLL

No, I don’t sleep with every woman I date. That would make me a man wh0re. I sleep with those I deem worth the effort of pursuing more.

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this

Beautiful I am as of lately. So who’s this male blogger that’s smitten by me? said while batting my left eye. lol

By Dan

August 25, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this

@Rell

While I’mma assume that comment wasn’t related to me…

When 85% of the women that one would meet assumes the worst of him out of the gate then at some point you have start looking for the cause.

The other 15% are in it for a man period, regardless of who/what/ how he is.

Not everybody is in the game looking to just get laid…

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this

slim sorry mami. one thing about me … i can keep a secret. kinda.

what’s the deal with men buying ONE ROLL OF TP?!? i just came from save-mart and this fool was in front of me in line. i don’t get it.

By Rell (TOS)

August 25, 2008 1:45 PM | Link to this

When 85% of the women that one would meet assumes the worst of him out of the gate then at some point you have start looking for the cause.

DUDE there you go again with the dayum wounded bird ish…you like king of the dayum “why cant she see i am a nice guy” crowd..they see you but dayum you smell of getting duped/f’d over/and overall cupcake syndrome…my dude where are you getting this 85 percent from…again you making the choice….you going for a look and not the style of women that fits you…i mean you single and you kicking it on a board where the ladies get there marketing on…you mean to say you not trying to meet no of them…bottom line dude you get it how you live…you stick that “woo is me” ish out there….and ooo on the being laid comment…player maybe you need to let one off…it might make you feel better….i have numbers to some treatment centers or let me say home visit if you need them

By Wise Diva

August 25, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

I don’t care much about whether a guy is assuming somebody else is knockin me off or not. HE is gonna think whatever he wants to, it’s not my job to convince him anything. He checks my character and then he behaves how he is going to be have, regardless of what I do/say or don’t do/say. When I say I don’t do random dizzle, I determine when he stops being random dizzle, just like he determines when I ain’t random broad, like Blue says.

By Single Student

August 25, 2008 1:59 PM | Link to this

I am single and have a small child so my time dating has to be considered wisely. I haven’t been serious with anyone since my divorce and that’s been over a year. I’ve been seeing someone recently and though I realize he is not boyfriend material, part of me is enjoying the “no strings” aspect of the relationship. I’ve never done this kind of thing before and I think we have a mutual, unspoken understanding about what it is. Of course, he’d be over the side in a minute if I met someone who I think has potential for a real relationship.

As for how do you know when they are worth your “best effort” (the lipstick and the manolos), well I think you can tell by are they someone you really “click” with? This other guy I’ve been seeing doesn’t seem mature enough and our conversations are not all that engaging but the chemistry is there. So for me, someone who is intelligent, mature, manly, has nice manners, is well-educated, well-spoken, treats you like a lady and is not intimidated by me…that’s him. Yep. I know he is out there some where!

By lurker

August 25, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this

Dan presumptions can be quite damaging to potential relationships. Could it be that you equate your assumptions to your own behavior? Just because a potential SO does not engage in sex early on is by no means a sign that she’s getting it from someone else. Contrary to what appears to be your belief, we are not animals and can control the urges. Better yet, risking getting used and tossed is motivation to move things along slowy, in and of itself. I can attest to what the other ladies have stated in not sleeping with a potential nor any other. I too, refuse to jump into any type of physical relationship early on and trust me (and them) when we say, most brothers, that really aren’t interested in pursuring a relationship will show you their backsides with the quickness. I believe the pendulum swings both ways more often than stated. We are in a catch 22. Give the booty up too early and it’s wrap. Try having a relationship with a mature man with no physical and shortly thereafter, it’s a wrap.

By Dan

August 25, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this

So,

I’m a wounded bird. But you’re married right or wrong?

If you’re not married then you’re the guy I was 5-10 years ago, chasing azz trying to prove something to….I don’t know who.

Right now, as an adult, I’ve had my misadventures, I slain my fair share, and yes my boy it is hard out here on these streets for men and women.

But if we can’t come together and talk about the misconceptions and misunderstandings that keep good people apart and bad people taking the rest down, then what’s the use?

To your line of thinking: buck up and do you, don’t feel bad for how it affects [her, them]. And to my thinking that’s how we got here.

Don’t get it twisted, I don’t lament my singleness, it is afterall self inflicted, but what I do lament is cats and kittens on the sidelines throwing bombs making ish worse and not trying to make it better.

So get on me, call me whatever you so choose, I’m big enough to take it. But never let it slip your mind for one minute that there are men and women in this world trying to make it a better place for all. And we realize that doing so is a thankless job and it allows do-nothings to come along for the ride. And that is what it is.

@WD

Can’t disagree with your statement, but didn’t you post about poseurs? Why would you think that’s a one way street? Men and women do it just the same.

As enumerated on here a 1000 times we after the sex, and most women are after what comes after the sex.

Not that it’s a new phenomenon, but let just play the game upfront. And you don’t have to convince him of anything, why would he have to convince you of his intentions?

At that point, isn’t chicken/egg?

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 2:07 PM | Link to this

Beautiful Okay? So you can keep a secret sort of?….why bring it up if you not gonna call em out. as far as a dude buying only one roll of TP..maybe he’s one of those dudes who only uses one square per shyt. Were his fanga nails dirty?

Blog Men Is it you??? Come out come out wherever you are and show yourself.

By Dan

August 25, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this

@Lurker

As I have stated, there are men and women that believe that sex does not end a relationship, that it is a beginning. I personally equate it with “getting to know you”. Because to my mind there could evolve a circumstance where I’m dating a woman that is perfect in everyway, but the sex. Then where am I?

Stuck in a passionless relationship with a wandering eye for something better.

And I feel you on the Catch 22, but isn’t that what dating is? You lose a lot to win one.

By Rell (TOS)

August 25, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

@single student…thanks for being honest….

@dan….why do you care if she fuggin someone else….again you present yourself has the ho haven then thats what you get friends…you come in like the dude that will push in her rosebud nightly and thats what you get….single just showed you what i am talkin about…dude she laying with is her lil f post…thats it…he came that way and she was game….whats so hard about it dude

By Wise Diva

August 25, 2008 2:15 PM | Link to this

no, I don’t think it IS one way. In my opinion, in the getting to know each other phase, you are gathering data, of course men and women do that, but not to CONVINCE people of who you are. If you are being yourself, and the person does not vibe with you, or is not on the same page you are, you can’t do anything about THAT. So giving booty up when you aren’t ready or don’t want to, is not something I subscribe to. If that is the kind of thing a guy walks over, I don’t see it as a great loss.

By lurker

August 25, 2008 2:16 PM | Link to this

Beautiful why?

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this

high 5 lurker dayum if you do and dayum if you don’t….no matter how long you wait, whether it’s one day or three hundred sixty five days if that’s all he wants that’s all he wants.

I presume all men are liars until he proves with actions that’s he’s not.

By Brian

August 25, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this

“then you know her mental state is warped” Last time I checked, they come in all colors,, they are located across the world. lol, stop treating Oes like ladies and ladies like Oes… Is there a name tag or something I should be looking for?.. Hello Im Sally and Im a reformed Oe. That makes no sense…I haven’t given up on dating.. Just stating the obvious, and what I encountered.. Guess you have to travel the world and at least worked at a soup kitchen to qualfy for a good women.. Thanks for lesson..

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 2:21 PM | Link to this

you mean to say you not trying to meet no of them…

Quite the contrary. Dan seems to be our resident social butterfly.

By Dan

August 25, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

@WD

we not talking about peer pressure or rape. What I’m speaking on is the time when you physically want to have sex, yet the mental won’t allow you to. The “it’s too soon, what will he think of me?”

Isn’t expressing your sexuality part of being yourself?

@Rell

What? Really?

Come on man, I appreciate it but I don’t really need dating advice. I understand my situations and play them accordingly.

But preciate it anyway

By Rell (TOS)

August 25, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this

If you’re not married then you’re the guy I was 5-10 years ago, chasing azz trying to prove something to….I don’t know who.

got to give you the scooby doo on this statement…

By Dan

August 25, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this

@MLL

And that, right there, is what I’m talking about.

If you presuming he lying and he presume you lying, then where does that leave you?

But you don’t have to prove anything to him…talk about reciprocity.

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this

Dan presumptions can be quite damaging to potential relationships. Could it be that you equate your assumptions to your own behavior? Just because a potential SO does not engage in sex early on is by no means a sign that she’s getting it from someone else.

Great observation. I was thinking the same. Besides, when that topic comes up in dating, it’s not difficult to acknowledge what my current sexing schedule is. We’re grown right?

But for someone who can’t go more than 2 months without sex, you’re gonna attract women who have the same ants in pants syndrome, so I guess it is about who you attract.

WiseDiva - Good post (1:47)

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

August 25, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

Afternoon All! I had to lurk all morning cause that traffic had me cussin something awful.

If you are dating someone new, how do you determine what their intentions are? Do you generally decide by the actions, words, money or time spent? Do you know by a hybrid of all of these? Do you think that single people should drop this bad habit, or does it serve us well? I ask guys straight up (whether they lie or not) and go from there. Depends on what he says what cateogory I put him in.

Foots I was co-signing your 11am post about telling old dude when it was time to call it quits. Had that same situation before and couldnt believe dude got upset. I was thinkin “you already knew we would be nothing more than ‘buddies’ so what is the problem?” wild….

By Tazzee

August 25, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

*What I’m speaking on is the time when you physically want to have sex, yet the mental won’t allow you to. The “it’s too soon, what will he think of me?”

Isn’t expressing your sexuality part of being yourself?*

It’s not necessarily about what he will think of me, but about how I know my heart operates and the fact that I cannot separate the sex act from my feelings.

Having a full knowledge of my sexuality and my limits is part of being and knowing myself. Being able to know my desires and refrain from them because that is a choice I have made represents a level of discipline and maturity for me.

If a guy can’t understand and respect the decisions I’ve made for my life and my body then he is not the one for me.

Have a great afternoon/evening all!

By Dan

August 25, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

@ARed

What, am I to be lessened for not being afraid to meet people?

@Rell

…meaning, [I don’t remember if you’re married or not. If you are then, you are if you’re not then]…..rest of post

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

Wise in the getting to know each other phase, you are gathering data, of course men and women do that, but not to CONVINCE people of who you are. If you are being yourself, and the person does not vibe with you, or is not on the same page you are, you can’t do anything about THAT Maybe that’s why folks have Dating ADD…well for the older folks who are more in touch with who they are. If too many disconnections, or what may be mistaken as a disconnect are noted, they person checks out and doesnt really expend any more energy on the Getting To Know You phase. I’m not sure if this is a good or bad thing yet.

Slim meet dude…he walks in with stank bref…Steeeerrrrriiikkkke 1!….dude greets and hugs Slim…he got on some funkdified fragrance…Steerrrriiiikkkkeeee 2!….Slim thinking to herself to tell dude her cat is throwing up at home and need to leave early…lol

By lurker

August 25, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

Dan I’m not going to engage in the phyical and you label it as the “getting to know you” phase only to get gone. I don’t care how you phrase it, that places you to the advantage. We are emotional creatures, that’s not to say crazy but emotional. The phyical is where we connect. We may find “something” there before crossing those lines and yes we may be vibing and we may be on the threshold on a relationship but in my opinion, connecting as one and as a whole is done through phyical contact so no, while you’re tryna see if you like me while testing the goods, not happening. I know there are no guarantees and it’s pretty much a gamble at some point in the game. There are some things we cannot foresee and won’t know the outcome unless we engage but sometimes, somethings we can and for those things that we can see why walk into with our eyes wide open only to woulda coulda shouldn’tda later on?

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

What, am I to be lessened for not being afraid to meet people?

Dan - Why do you take darn near everything as a knock? Change your attitude dude.

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

Did you all hear about Jo Jo from Jodeci past out on stage? Check it out HERE

By lurker

August 25, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

It’s not necessarily about what he will think of me, but about how I know my heart operates and the fact that I cannot separate the sex act from my feelings. Having a full knowledge of my sexuality and my limits is part of being and knowing myself. Being able to know my desires and refrain from them because that is a choice I have made represents a level of discipline and maturity for me.

My sentiments exactly. Couldn’t have phrased any better myself.

By Dan

August 25, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this

@ARed

No, just the things you say in that mocking tone of yours.

My attitude: you know :)

@Lurker

Therein - “testing the goods” lies the fallacy.

Assume that he has had sex prior to meeting you, so how is he/she testing anything? Sex is just that, sex. It differs as much as personalities. For me, and only for me, part of “getting to know you” is getting to know how your handle your impluses from the first date to the first time. Do you hold back? Why? Is there something you’re afraid of? Is there something unknown about how I feel that could put you at ease (in general and sexually specifically)?

There lies an infinite number of possibilities in one’s reaction to given set of circumstances.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

Dan that leaves me with one less man on my s3x list.

By Leggs

August 25, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

Thank you, thank you, thank you…Dan - Why do you take darn near everything as a knock?… Sometimes, just let it keep flowing, it’s not a dig!

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

In addition Tazzee and lurker we have urges everyday that we know is inappropriate to act on. Hopefully that keeps us from stealing, breaking laws, and slapping our co-workers silly.

I really think some males only think with their little head.

By Rell (TOS)

August 25, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

@arede….word…..he is extra sensitive….

@dan..dude you faking…and you were never like me or be like me…player you cant even see me…and yes i married…what is your point

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

slim i apologize. how long have i been tellin’ y’all i got a big mouth?

By MELO

August 25, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

SlimOne washed up US grps/acts do these kind of things abroad all the time..exploiting gullible fans.

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

No, just the things you say in that mocking tone of yours.

The only “tone” is in your head, sweetheart. It was a stand alone statement. Period.

Trust me, I know how to do the eyeroll and how to make a sarcastic statement.

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

I presume all men are liars until he proves with actions that’s he’s not.

^5. i live by this.

By Dan

August 25, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

@Rell

My point is…why are you even suggesting anything. You’re married, out of the game, hung it up, your opinions are no longer relevant as facts have changed.

At that, I’m not going to get into a “player” contest with you…I’ze a grown azz man. So think what will, I simply don’t care.

By Dan

August 25, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

@ARed

Agreed then.

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

he is extra sensitive….

Rell - So are you, bucko! ;-)

By MELO

August 25, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

No, just the things you say in that mocking tone of yours. why wont u mock back??????????

By Dan

August 25, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

@Melo

becuase, I am after all

a gentleman

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this

Beautiful Well let me ask you this, how do YOU know? Did this particular person tell you they were digging on me? (and if you had a big mouth, I’d know by now)

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this

becuase, I am after all, a gentleman

guffaw, cough cough. That was funny. LOL

By Dan

August 25, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this

@ARed

Did one get stuck?

Let me pull them back slowly…

Alright, one more time..

By Rell (TOS)

August 25, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

@ared…only when it comes to you my lil cum quat……lol….did you give your weeekend recap yet?

@dan

My point is…why are you even suggesting anything. You’re married, out of the game, hung it up, your opinions are no longer relevant as facts have changed.

now i see….you think that you have the ish figured out…..my opinion matters because i am at where you trying to be you dumb ish…..i know the pitfalls the highs and lows..and what it takes to get there…..

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

Well let me ask you this, how do YOU know? Did this particular person tell you they were digging on me? (and if you had a big mouth, I’d know by now)

SlimOne - Step away from that rabbit hole! ;-)

By coolchik

August 25, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

good afternoon, good people. great topic wise diva! i’m coming in late on the convo. but here are my thoughts thus far…

-my categories are pretty simple. wanna spend time with you or i don’t. in the case of a new dude, i normally know this by the third date. i try not to have too many futuristic thoughts about anything until we make it to date #3. after date #3 i at least know if you are cool enough for me to want to know you more.

-when it comes to deciding long term potential, i look at a man’s values and if they are on the same page as mine. i have dated guys who were lots of fun and cool ta def, but when it came down to it our values just didn’t gel which caused things to end for one reason or another. values and character can’t be glossed over and are more long lasting than a vehicle or the zeroes on an atm receipt (dang, i had an outkast moment right there).

lastly, i know it’s august, which is clearly too late for new year’s resolutions of any kind, but here is one thing i resolve to work on in my dating approach… stop analyzing men. men on the blog attest to this, i’ve heard it so many times before, but i just keep doing it. hoping i’ll analyze a man’s actions or words to conclude what i want him to say or do. fugettaboutit. take a man for what he does and what he says, simple as that.

By Dan

August 25, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

Like 10 years ago…

You’re John Stockton in the old nutchuckers…

I’m Lebron tatted up…

Two totally different eras bruh, all due respect…

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

only when it comes to you my lil cum quat……lol….did you give your weeekend recap yet?

Rell - Cum quat huh? LOL.

Recap: Friday - Shot to NY for the day. Saturday - Put my freakem dress on and went to a birthday party at this club in Gwinnett. Sunday - Brunch with the girls.

Now bust yours baby. LOL

By Wise Diva

August 25, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

I am only saying that who you decide to sleep with and when is a personal choice, you did it when YOU are ready and after you have discussed things with your man/woman. If, at any time, they say something that makes you think twice about sharing your body with them, you don’t have to make apologies for that. You exercise self-control and choose when you are ready NOT when you feel the person is about to bounce. I am all about self-preservation AND expressing my sexuality.

By For Real

August 25, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

Ladies yall have stated on this blog about “Representatives” and M2L just said that she believes all men are liars until they PROVE they are not.

Then Wise said “but not to CONVINCE people of who you are.”

See why I say all women are irrational. Yall don’t even understand each other. That’s why a man should never follow a women or try to understand one because it is a waste of time.

By MELO

August 25, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

ared is a smart lady…

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

Did one get stuck?

Let me pull them back slowly…

Alright, one more time..

^ Doesn’t know what this means. shrugs

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

my opinion matters because i am at where you trying to be

In addition, married folks need to stop saying stuff like this. Bobby and Whitney were married, OJ and Nicole were married. Just because you found someone to go half on some vows with, doesn’t mean you represent where all singles want to be!

By Wise Diva

August 25, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

boy hush none of yall dizzle owners all spew the same thoughts either.

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

just said that she believes all men are liars until they PROVE they are not

For Real - I don’t feel that way at all, personally. You know that one size fits all does not apply to dating.

By SlimOne

August 25, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

For Real Just go get your bookbag and stop talking out the side of yo neck. lol Those posts came from two different chicks, so there will be two different POV’s, 4 different opnions and 9million assumptions. That’s exactly why i find it hard to date several dudes at a time…will have yo azz looking like a dog trying to chase it’s tail. Btw, where did you put my left bra cup that you were running around the house with over your right eye tombout Errrr, shiver me timbers?

By Wise Diva

August 25, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this

LOL @ AmazonRed, way to address the smug married people.Hilarious.

By MLL(mammalongleggs)

August 25, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

For Real you’re sounding like most preachers picking verses that suites your liking. I said it before and I’ll say it again all men are liars until proven NOT. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Men will say they’re single knowing good and well they have a chick hanging from their dizzle or a wife they forgot to mention or better yet they are straight knowing darn well they like getting their knuts massaged by Paul.

By Rell (TOS)

August 25, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

@ared…yeah yeah..forgot you got the game master too…so you and dan need to hook up…lol…and yea you my lil cum quat….lol

friday - bonding time with the wife..dinner and making babies

saturday - check my network traffic. Work on my blog and websites. Fixed some cocktails for a couple hours downloaded music..more baby making

sunday - baby making..followed by trip for some chinese food…then made some ends cleaning up my wifes work network for her boss….check in with my folks on the labor day weekend grill plans..home to check my internet traffic..watch the orphanage….feel asleep..now i am here with you yahoos

By Poppa Grande

August 25, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

Das V & Foots

Costco also has cruises, and trips to Biltmore Estates. That you can just purchase with at the checkout. Foots, they are big pieces of cardboard that you take to the register and they get the real tix out of a safe.

I remembered the Chattanooga package because the wife and i have bought and used that one. Its only a couple of hours to Chattanooga from downtown so it was a quick get-a-way.

The Entertainment book has been a lifesaver. They now have some nicer places like Mckinnon’s Louisane Restaurant in Buckhead, Imperial Fez and some other places. Both of those were buy one get one free entree. They still have the fast food places, too. We had one date that we used the Regal tickets (2 x 7.50-15.00) and buy one get one free at Jersey Mikes (Entertainment) (6.00) and I got her flowers from Whole Foods (15.00 ) The whole date was 36.00. I felt like Dave Chapelle in Half-Baked as I kept a tally that night…lol

By Dan

August 25, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

@WD (3:20pm)

Tell ‘em why you mad son!

@ARed

1 + 1 = ?

By Foots

August 25, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this

Big Poppa Next payday (chuckle) I’m going to order that book. I don’t know if they discount holiday weekends like this one, but I see they have 25% off rentals at Park Marina and that would have saved up a bundle off our Labor Day party boat rental. Plus they have my car wash place at 50% off. I wonder why I ever stopped getting these books…

Thanks Poppa!! Any savings is greatly appreciated. You know gas is high…

By Poppa Grande

August 25, 2008 4:11 PM | Link to this

Foots

Thanks Poppa!! Any savings is greatly appreciated. You know gas is high…

No problem. I also know that the grocey bill is nothing small either. I bought some milk the other day and was shocked at the price. So, the Kroger coupons have been good as well. (5$ off any grocery bill over $20.00. 10 off grocery bill over $50.00.) You get you 20.00 worth. We just have a standing order online and they always send it to us every October.

Well to everyone else…back to your regularly scheduled blog fight…

By Demi

August 25, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

MLL you know the only cats you will meet are liars right.

Oh, the powers of spoken words

By Atl Lady

August 25, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

Poppa I want to thank you as well. I’ve been lurking most of the day, but I caught those savings tips. I’ve been hesitant about joining Costco (Sam’s Clubber), but I might need to rethink it.

By Poppa Grande

August 25, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

ATL Lady

No problem. We liked that they took AMEX, whereas Sams did not. They try to get you to get their card. AMEX is due at the end of the month, so you don’t really go overboard.

Costco has a higher membership fee. So be prepared, but they have some deals that make up for it.

We also have BJs, but we got it free from the job.

By For Real

August 25, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this

boy hush none of yall dizzle owners all spew the same thoughts either.

Yes we do. WE LIKE SEX AND WE WANT YOUR SEX AND SOME FOOD AND SOME QUIET!!!!

I don’t feel that way at all, personally. You know that one size fits all does not apply to dating.

WE LIKE SEX AND WE WANT YOUR SEX AND SOME FOOD AND SOME QUIET!!!!

Btw, where did you put my left bra cup that you were running around the house with over your right eye tombout Errrr, shiver me timbers?

WE LIKE SEX AND WE WANT YOUR SEX AND SOME FOOD AND SOME QUIET!!!!

Men will say they’re single knowing good and well they have a chick hanging from their dizzle or a wife they forgot to mention or better yet they are straight knowing darn well they like getting their knuts massaged by Paul.

M2L What is a person’s status if they are not married? oh and

WE LIKE SEX AND WE WANT YOUR SEX AND SOME FOOD AND SOME QUIET!!!!

ATTENTION WOMEN OF THE PLANET EARTH THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM EVERY LAST DUDE ON THE FREAKING PLANET!

WE LIKE SEX AND WE WANT YOUR SEX AND SOME FOOD AND SOME QUIET!!!!

THAT IS ALL GOODNIGHT!!

By Atl Lady

August 25, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this

Poppa BJs and Costco have been coming to the job to get potential customers, but my boss doesn’t allow them to do presentations anymore. He says (and I somewhat agree), If they’re not offering anything extra (2 for 1 initial memberships or half price) why bother? An ex-coworker’s husband is the manager of the BJs in Conyers.

By LorDemi

August 25, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this

WE LIKE SEX AND WE WANT YOUR SEX AND SOME FOOD AND SOME QUIET!!!!

I am LorDemi and I approve of this message.

LorDemi now runs out the door behind For Real as bullets rains in from the section marked “WOMEN ONLY”.

By Wise Diva

August 25, 2008 4:43 PM | Link to this

For Real, I can’t stand you! LOL!!

By Foots

August 25, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

Dan Regarding For Real’s informative post at 4:35, I guess that answers your question of a few weeks back of why women assumed that all men wanted to sleep with them. Ya boy made it pretty clear. Unless you disagree…

By LorDemi

August 25, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

I am all about self-preservation AND expressing my sexuality.

Meaning you can wear all of the not so right clothing and men bet’n ask you for or about sex?

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

so you and dan need to hook up…lol

Rell - That was mean! LOL

Dan - 1 + 1 = 2 and I still don’t know what you were talking about. Not to concerned either.

By Foots

August 25, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

For Real What is a person’s status if they are not married?

So shall we just kill all that and start asking for “Relationship Status”? LOL! We know that you personally are single and available until the minute you say “I do”, so just in case there are other dudes that refuse to claim a woman, even one he’s engaged to, gotta cover all the bases.

By the way, most people don’t say “What’s your marital status?” They ask if you are in a relationship, have a boyfriend/girlfriend or married. That gives a person ample opportunity to check a box. It’s not that hard.

By LorDemi

August 25, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

WD for the most part men do think alike, but as we mature our method of how we achieve our goal are much more refined.

Trust, dating mature women helps you to refine your game.

By Dan

August 25, 2008 4:52 PM | Link to this

@ARed

Deese, ARed, 1 + 1 = Deese…..

bless your heart..

@Foots

I’ve never refuted the fact that men want sex, most women have known that since puberty.

My argument is that sex is not the end all be all of a relationship…only a part (sound familiar). Where men and women disagree is how the pieces fit and in what order.

By For Real

August 25, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this

Foots I guess that answers your question of a few weeks back of why women assumed that all men wanted to sleep with them.

I didn’t answer his question. I was speaking for every dude on the planet Dan was not. So he is correct not every dude a chick meets wants to jump her bones. However, there is a dude on this planet that would like to jump her bones. See the difference?

By abc

August 25, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

I went to Chattanooga a week or 2 ago, and it was pretty boring. Almost eerie, they’re all geared up for tourism, and there’s hardly anyone there, except for some rednecks, and a sizeable contingent of street bums. The aquarium was okay. The incline railway was 10 minutes each way, otherwise unremarkable. Ruby Falls was a long walk underground. The B&B we stayed in was a bit in disrepair, but nice. Overall, Chattanooga is the picture of Tennessee dilapidation, which is cool with me, but it kind of took princess aback. She hadn’t been to TN before. It’s a Tennessee thang, I guess.

Chattanooga makes a decent day trip, though, really. You can ride the ferry, make an afternoon Lookouts game, and be home for the late show.

By Wise Diva

August 25, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

Have a great evening everyone, be safe!

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

Dan - Still won’t compute. Please hang up and try again later.

By Poppa Grande

August 25, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

ATL Lady

My job actually paid for our BJ memberships as a benefit. So, I guess that they got some kind of discount to do it.

We don’t really go all that often, though. Camp Creek is the closest for us. The closest Samsto Downtown is on Clairmont near I-85, and that one is horrible.

For Real

WE LIKE SEX AND WE WANT YOUR SEX AND SOME FOOD AND SOME QUIET!!!!

LMAO..I’d like to say that there was a lot more to it than that, but it is what it is.

By LorDemi

August 25, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

Foots I we didn’t, it’ll be 4 years before we get any, LOL.

Regardless, that negative thinking is pointless…If I walked around demeaning women, that would be all I attract.…I am still responsible for my words and mind set.

“Only thing men want is sex and nothing else.”

Then my dear you are most likely a recovering h0e and are trying to change your ways.

(NOT YOU FOOT)

And you played old boy good, LOL

By Atl Lady

August 25, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this

For RealIs that your way of saying there’s a man for every woman and a woman for every man?

By For Real

August 25, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

Wise You know you want some!!!!

Foots By the way, most people don’t say “What’s your marital status?”

They should because the bible nor the laws of this country support “Girl/Boy Friend” status. Oh and by the way in case you are wondering: WE LIKE SEX AND WE WANT YOUR SEX AND SOME FOOD AND SOME QUIET!!!!

By LorDemi

August 25, 2008 5:02 PM | Link to this

So he is correct not every dude a chick meets wants to jump her bones. However, there is a dude on this planet that would like to jump her bones. See the difference?

Nice play of words.

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 5:06 PM | Link to this

slim yes, he told me awhile ago.

By Foots

August 25, 2008 5:07 PM | Link to this

For Real Of course I understand that. Not everybody is attracted to everybody else. That’s an elementary point. Dan was the one with the question. I believe you. And to prove it, guess what? Women want sex too. Shocker!!!!!!!

By Beautiful

August 25, 2008 5:08 PM | Link to this

ared you are the biggest hater on this blog! put the jug down hun.

By For Real

August 25, 2008 5:09 PM | Link to this

ATL Lady For Real Is that your way of saying there’s a man for every woman and a woman for every man?

Nope, i’m talking about straight sex. There is one dude on this here planet that will want to have sex with you just not every dude on the planet will want to have sex with you. How’s that?

By AmazonRed

August 25, 2008 5:12 PM | Link to this

Angie - You’re the biggest loser. Get a LIFE, sweetheart.

By mytwocents

August 25, 2008 5:23 PM | Link to this

LorDemi She can’t be guzzlin Dan & hatraide at the same time, can she??? There should be a workshop…