Misadventures in Atlanta

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 8:38 AM | Link to this

Sex is power?

Gender is power?

Double standards?

Gender rights?

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this

Insurance companies covering dysfunctional aids but not control.

So the insurance commissioners understands the need (desire more so) for proper function of equipment, but only partially wants to help in the controlling the consequences that could follow. I agree and I disagree.

Procreation is mandatory to sustain life. Everything must work properly without interference in the process of conception.

However from a liberal societal standpoint in not fair to ensure effective performance and leave accountability on the table.

By AmazonRed

July 29, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this

Poor guy? LOL. Yeah right.

Good morning everyone.

By SlimOne

July 29, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

Good morning…slow start

As a single person dating in Atlanta, what are the biggest challenges you face with the opposite sex in terms of conflicts in power and sex?

Um, not really sure but one thing would be the issue of not being seen as Just a big Puddy with legs. Men are naturally visual cootie hunters. I’d rather get to know a person before having a penis versus va-jay jay battle. I would have to say subconsciously there is a sense of power when you can keep a mans attention away from what’s under your skirt, dress, pants, shirt etc…as well as power in not giving in to every impulse to see what the fine brutha in front of me is working with.

Feel free to tackle the insurance companies and viagra vs. birth control question! As far as this goes, we all know we’re in the days of oversexed-media, where we’re constantly being bombarded with sexual images, music, movies etc…and for some reason are just as careless in our sexual habits. It doesn’t really make sense to have Viagra covered by insurance as opposed to birth control. We live in a i want it now society which focuses less on the consequences and carelessness of our actions and more on the Right now of fulfilling our carnal desires.

By Dan

July 29, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

Viagra vs. birth control

This issue is prescient due to the rise of the conservative movement. The thought is that the any child created should be born, however there is no thought given to the quality of life or level of care for the child, once here.

This movement also gives rise (from the core Puritan value system) to the thought that the State plays a role in protecting life. So for the “[pro] creationists”, viagra while limitedly medically beneficial, is far more important than birth control, which is anathema.

So really when you think about why viagra is insured and birth control isn’t, think political affiliation.

By QC

July 29, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers…have a great day!

By AmazonRed

July 29, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this

The biggest challenge is probably finding a guy who’s not trying to make sex a point of emphasis. And a guy who thinks that celibacy is not a big deal. Trust me, you’ll get yours, eventually, can you just at least know my last name and shoe size first?

By M'Karyl

July 29, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

@Raqi

Sure, we must have a properly functioning reproductive system to procreate…it is mandatory in order to maintain, sustain and perpetuate human existence…but from my experience (I am a baby boomer) most of the men that I have encountered in the last ten years who need to have a medical supplement in order to have an erection are well past the procreation stage…the stuff is just broke and they need a fix to make it work, why??? simply because they want to continue having sex…just sex…not children…grabted, there may be some instances where men under the ae of 40 need a buck boost for physical/medcial reasons…but the vast majority just want to keep getting it up and using it…even if it is broke otherwise…so it seems to me that the insurance companies (which are male dominated) would rather allow coverage for a fallen male ego and parts than to allow a woman to choose her sexaul liberation and when whe will procreate.

By Dan

July 29, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this

As far as dating challenges:

I don’t really view it in terms of politics as combat or even something to be debated. The choice of sexual intimacy is a shared convention. While our thoughts may coincide at some point, until that time, we simply exist as two people, seperate but equal.

By Utopia

July 29, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this

Good morning

Slimone and ARed what they said (I concur)

By Deeva4Life

July 29, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

Dan What??? LOL

By Bit-O-Hunny

July 29, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this

Money, power, sex things we all aspire to have a lot of. I’ve personally never understood why birth control isn’t covered by insurance but viagra is. This is a s/he battle that will probably not end anytime soon.

In the bedroom…I’m probably a little more aggressive than my partner, but it’s still relatively new so maybe he’s holding back. Truthfully, I am too…I dont’ want to scare him off just yet with my wild antics.Ha

By Dan

July 29, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

@Lean wit it, rock wit it

What part of seperate but equal is confusing?

Just as women don’t want to be treated as purely sexual conquests, I don’t want to be thought of as merely a sexual conquerer.

Just as a woman has layers and a personality distinctly hers, I do as well. Lumping me in with the “other men”, most notably of your past encounters, perpetrates the same fallacy and ignorance that you’re setting out to destroy.

No one like preconceptions or prejudicies, male or female, black or white.

By AmazonRed

July 29, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

I’ve personally never understood why birth control isn’t covered by insurance but viagra is.

BOH, me either. And I didn’t think it would affect me until my company got bought out last year. The new company didn’t cover bc at all unless “medically” necessary. Well, me and a couple of my coworkers made a stink about it, and they changed the policy this year. I really feel good about this.

I don’t know how you can expect to have a productive company, when half your workforce is consistantly out on maternity leave and you can play a part to combat that. My company’s Atlanta’s office is small, and in the short time I’ve been here 10-15% of the office has had at least one kid. These appeared to be planned pregnancies, but bc is definitely a part of preventative medicine!

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

MKaryl the majority of men are able to aid in conception well into his 70’s. So there is no such thing as pass the stage for a man like there is for a woman. Many men are marrying their 3rd and 4th spouses and these women are sometimes quite young and desire offspring. So there is a need.

And there also is a need even when conception is not the desire. I have no desire to become pregnant nor does my husband have a desire to get me there. However a healthy intimate relationship is very important to both of us and our marriage. We are only 40 so we still have a lot of years ahead of us that proper function will be desired. I hope insurance continue to always cover the aids because we may need them one day. But it is only fair that they should cover the birth control also.

By mytwocents

July 29, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

Uh oh, in here early enough to get a croissant & play in the grains, Simon…

Sex hasn’t been solely for reproduction in forever. I said yesterday it’s unabashedly used as a commodity but I’ll add weapon and control mechanism to the list. This is indicative of not only how we feel about ourselves but also how others view us; which while it should matter less, is often a great help in propelling lost souls into a downward spiral.

In Atlanta, the hyper-sexy style of dress adds to the blurred lines of what is/isn’t “pc” to say or do — or at least that’s what some claim. I’ve heard guys tell women she shouldn’t be wearing that if she didn’t wanna be TOUCHED (not just spoken to), seen women allowing the grope down for a drink and the sneak azz grabbers are always out so unless ya leave ya booty @ home… It’s like we’re almost desensitized b/c the detailed, often vulgarly delivered compliments on the female body barely causes a blink. And then there are those who believe pleasant convo in X amount of time equates to being owed sexual favors or a bill payment. GTFOH! Place a higher value on self. Cuz when we start body-bartering, someone’s gonna get a bargain. But no wonder… it’s on damaged goods.

Cee How much? 10? 15?

By SlimOne

July 29, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

MY2 Sex hasn’t been solely for reproduction in forever. I said yesterday it’s unabashedly used as a commodity but I’ll add weapon and control mechanism to the list. This is indicative of not only how we feel about ourselves but also how others view us;

Makes me think about the Ryan Cameron show yesterday. They had a lady with single mother who had 7 kids by 6 different baby daddy’s. And if my memory serves me correctly, she was only in her mid 30’s…and blamed it on low self-esteem.

My uncle and I were talking a few weeks back and he was discussing how he didn’t understand where young folks today put their value. He happened to bring up Nellys video talking about Stepping on my Jay’s. He said out of all the things in life, you place value on a pair of $200 tennis shoes. Then we talked about the way folks even dance these days. He watched a young lady at a party grinding her behind on every dude she danced with. It wasn’t until about the 4th guy that she actually turned around to even see what he looked like. So i added that sex is such a huge thing to folks trying to feel accepted, wanted, etc. You have some folks who can sleep with you but tell you they won’t kiss because its too intimate. The last time I checked, letting someone INSIDE of you, was rather intimate…but whatever.

By C tha 1

July 29, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

How do you think sex and power relate in the context of a relationship? What about a marriage? This may be a long post

Women like to say that men make to much of the sex issue, its even not that big of a deal … until they ain’t gettin’ it like they want it. I’m of the belief that women want sex just as bad as men want it, but they want the emotion that comes with it too. Because sex within itself is purely a physical function for men I’ll leave you with this story.

There was a man back in my hometown who was in his mid 40’s early 50’s. He and his wife was respected through out the community, but of course all marriages have issues. Unfortunately, the gentleman in question becomes diabetic, and as the story goes his old lady who was respected throughout the community as his wife had a former reputation.

Needless to say the man of high regard diabetes interferes with his ability to satisfy his wife. Time passes and in a fit of frustration his wife “slips” and has an affair to satisfy a primal urge. The story goes is that she felt unloved and was in desperate need of affection. She loved him, but needed physical satisfaction.

They explored the option of Viagra, but dude really didn’t like it … and she became more frustrated. Part of the reason he disliked Viagra was that it was not compatible with his diabetic medication. So he sat frustrated with himself, robbed of his vitality and pride, making him more bitter by the hour and driving his wife into the arms of someone else he makes a decision. He takes the Viagra and reconciles with his wife.

Rejuvenated this act of passion proved to be fatal … because a diabetic man can’t necessarily mix Viagra with diabetic medication. Because he opted for enhancement over medication for a couple of days he eventually went to see his Maker. Nothing much is said about the wife as she left town after he passed, in part because she was ashamed of the role she played in his demise. So Bloggsville, who valued sex more … the wife or the husband? Who committed the real act of love … the wife or the husband?

The moral of this story is that women want sex when they want it, and although women are typically afforded several rain checks man are not. At any rate this is what I like to call TRAAAAAGEEDYYY!

Sorry for the long post.

By melo

July 29, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

When it comes to bedroom politics, how does power come into play? How do you think sex and power relate in the context of a relationship? What about a marriage? iam not sure i understand where u going with this….this seems like a very tchy subject,i dont think u are going to get many to confess about their bedroom antics and power-sex plays…like who initiates,who is the driving force etc.Is that what u getting at? Sorry,iam a little confused….

By Dan

July 29, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

I think part of the problem is this mentality that “everyone else” is doing it.

People get so caught up in the lives of others (whether or not they actually know them) that they don’t live their own lives. So as a way of conforming to what is ‘standard’, they begin to do outrageous things, because they believe “that everyone else is doing it”.

And then there are just h0es (male and female)

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

Interesting story C. Who valued sex more = the husband. Who committed the real act of love = the husband! She should have ran away from that town with her face in the mud all the way until a train ran over her!

By mqew

July 29, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Mornin

C 1 Had to come out of lurkerville on that one. DAAAANNNNNG!!! Thas f’d up :-/

I wonder what the stats are on death due to Viagra. brb googling now

By C tha 1

July 29, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

O.K. that post has several typos … I wouldn’t want any of you intelligent, educated, and successful ladies to think a brother is a complete dumb azz…did I spell that witha z. Damn I gotta let this Ebonic shyt go…see what I mean, no wonder I’m single.

By AmazonRed

July 29, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

The moral of this story is that women want sex when they want it, and although women are typically afforded several rain checks man are not.

Uh..okay C to the 1. It’s much different when you are married and in theory only have one option for sex for the rest of your life. Flip the men and women in your story and the same thing would have probably happened if the woman had no libido and the guy was still healthy.

I don’t really see your story as a good example.

By Page1908

July 29, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

* C tha 1* LOL @ no wonder why I’m single Man, is that a true story?

ARed Can you hit me up on email, pls?

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

A Potpourri of Thoughts:

As far as powers are concerned, I will never use sex as a weapon to try and manipulate my husband just like he should/would never use money to try and manipulate me. And the other way around.

However power is only where we allow it to be. We are overpowered by what we are ruled by. If one is ruled by their desire for sex then it can be used as power. The same with money. It takes a caring and loving mate to not inflict such heinous actions onto their partner.

The desire for sex can be just as strong in a woman as it is a man. We are living in a time where women are now allowed to freely expression that desire, however not fully free of contradiction. Double standards due apply. But we all must get in where we fit it.

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Morning all!

Cee How much? 10? 15?

myfew it’s all good ma. How we doing? grain. See why i’m still sittin’.

Damn I gotta let this Ebonic shyt go…see what I mean, no wonder I’m single.

C tha 1 Well guy, you’re not the only one that spl n ebo challenged. join in

QC what’s singing?

By C tha 1

July 29, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

Yeah Page that’s a true story, because the man in the story died from complications due to diabeties it opened my eyes in regards to my own health. Diabeties can have a greater impact on a man’s sex life as oppose to a woman … or so I’m told. Either way Sugar can F a man up in many ways. There are other drugs one can take, but its not as simple as the commercials make them out to be.

By AmazonRed

July 29, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

Page1908 - You’ve got mail.

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

kimmie…alright, “Lyzel In E Flat” tonight?

holler if you’re on the lurker’s perch.

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

kimmie…alright, “Lyzel In E Flat” tomorrow?

holler if you’re on the lurker’s perch.

By Endless Romantic

July 29, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!

By Page1908

July 29, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

C tha 1 Wow! It’s crazy how we focus on the benefits of medications like that for sexual purposes, but we fail to recognize the complications they can sometimes have on folks who have other existing conditions. It’s kinda like the commercials highlight the fact that if you take Viagra, the person’s life will be so much better and consequently free of any other problems.

By Ladylike

July 29, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

I do believe that sex has a great influence on politics in America. The country has been predominantly run by men for years and many men feel sex is very important therefore these feelings would carryover into professional decisions. I think the billion dollar porn industry would be proof of the importance.

By Poppa Grande

July 29, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

Slim

I agree with your uncle.

But, Sexual images are everywhere. No one is immune. Many songs on the radio is about it. Old and new. What’s the difference between Mystikal’s “Shake it Fast” and Johnnie Taylor’s “Disco Lady”? How about you “Let me love you tonight for old times sake?” (which I think is Freddie Jackson.

The song that kind of nags at me is Jodeci’s “Forever My Lady”. The first words of the song is “So, your having my baby and it means so much to me.” Does he love her having the baby or does he really love her? They aren’t the same.

Nelly has a song where he mentions getting a woman’s knee’s to touch her elbows. What do you think that he talking about? (Not to mention his real jewel…Tip drill)

These mixed messages bombard us all of the time. It could be confusing to youngsters. These songs really don’t talk about love, they talk about sex.

I’ve only talked about music which only uses the sense of hearing. We all know videos add the sense of vision to it. You hear (or see) it over and over and it make sex seem so trivial.

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Ctha1 that story is very interesting and somewhat to the extreme. However believable.

But in an instance like that there are other means of giving pleasure. And all options should be exhausted before putting you life on the line for 3,10,15 minutes of pleasure. I understand fervent love. I am all for it. But there comes a time when you have to let go. And my mate expecting me to put my health and life at stake is one of the times.

She cared nothing about him. What did he have to lose by letting her go be with someone else?

I love the pleasure of sex just as much as the next person. But I will find other means to be gratified because I love my husband more.

Where there’s a will/hand/tongue/toy there is a way.

By melo

July 29, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

But in an instance like that there are other means of giving pleasure. And all options should be exhausted before putting you life on the line for 3,10,15 minutes of pleasure. that was funny to me..hahaha..

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

I concur w/you PoppaG. Don’t forget the lollipop song. I overhead this 7 year old telling another girl on the team that she shouldn’t be singing that song because it’s about a girl licking a boy’s private parts…OMG. It starts early!

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

Poppa Music and television has nothing to do with it. Sex is being desire and had in parts of the world where there no television. Music as we know it does not exist. Sex is an undeniable part of nature. Unstoppable. Discipline is the key.

The freedom of sexual expression in this country has trumped self-discipline.

And you know what, that discipline is still needed after you marry. Even with your spouse.

By Poppa Grande

July 29, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

I think the billion dollar porn industry would be proof of the importance.

Part of the billion dollar industry is that, in the US, we bombard people with sex, but then tell them to have sex. So, as nature works, people go do what relieves the tension. Whether its porn sites, shoe shows, books (such as erotic novels that would stimulate people who like verbal stimulation), and nudie magazines.

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

Does he love her having the baby or does he really love her?

PoppaG of course songs like that make you look sideways as you listen.

the message some tracks send to the young ppl makes is real bad for healthy sex/relationship talk for parents.

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 29, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

“When it comes to bedroom politics, how does power come into play? How do you think sex and power relate in the context of a relationship? What about a marriage?”

Good question, but I think power is a bad word when used in relation to sex….sounds kinda rapish!

Viagra vs. Birth Control? Viagra is for those that cain’t get it up, while birth control is for those who cain’t keep it down! (not really, but I think ya know what I mean.)

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

melo I actually made a mistake in that comment. You should never put your life at stake just to hold on to someone for a moment of pleasure. How much does that person really care about you?

If they are not willing to do other things for the sake of your health then they need to be out.

By melo

July 29, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

How much does that person really care about you? i wasnt even going there,just messing in my dirty imagination….,but u bring up a good point coz when u in luv and married,it means u need to sacrifice and make diffcutl choices like foregoing sex,and supporting ur mate who is sick.Its not easy but that is what marriage is about,its not about just looking at ur own desires,wants,etc….

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

C tha 1 I’m of the belief that women want sex just as bad as men want it, but they want the emotion that comes with it too.

duh!

by reading this story, it didn’t sound like he knew it was fatal. just that it didn’t mix and he would feel a little ill afterwards.

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

@Raqi

I do not discount what you state…but I probably (being single) meet a lot more men in their middle aged years who are as I described…not wanting anymore than the ability to remain sexually active and needing the assistance…I have learned that there are trades offs in life…and there are more baby boomers in their middle aged years who are single and will remain so and grow older alone than in our parents and grandparents generations (Newsweek, 2005)…if two ppl have sustained a long term relationship, growing older together, then yes perhaps the additional supplements would allow them to continue to have intimate relations that are vital to sustaining the longevity of their union…but I am talking about old, middle aged single men who blew every opportunity to have such relationships and now need support to continue with sexual activities…if these men can get insurance to pay for their broken rod supplements…then women should be able to have their birth control covered as well…the gendered bias is ovbious and of course these policies are being made by middle aged baby boomer males…imagine that.

By Tazzee

July 29, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

Good topic. I saw that McCain interview and I thought he was going to pass out, I started to feel sorry for him…started to

SlimOne I have to agree with your comments this morning.

C tha 1 “I’m of the belief that women want sex just as bad as men want it, but they want the emotion that comes with it too.” I have to agree with you here.

By ATL Guy

July 29, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

You know what is interesting…we have more TV programs with Violence (prison break, 24, CSI, etc) but you go over to Europe, they have more nudity and drug use in their shows without the violence. USA is a way more conservative country with nudity than anywhere else I’ve seen. I mean go to a foreign beach and naked people are laying out like its no thing. Americans freak out over this. Haha whats the Big Deal!?

By melo

July 29, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

The country has been predominantly run by men for years and many men feel sex is very important therefore these feelings would carryover into professional decisions what does sex have to do with a man running things..i miss ur point…a wman can equally run things.Are u saying becoz more men have been running stuff they feel entitled?

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

Insurance covers birth control for women. It’s the new male BC that I think is not yet covered.

By AmazonRed

July 29, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

Hindsight is 20/20. I don’t think the diabetic or his wife knew how very serious the drug cocktail would be. I doubt his doctor would have prescribed the medication at all if they knew the combo would have been leathal.

It was just one of those freakish mistakes.

By Poppa Grande

July 29, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

Raqi

Music and television has nothing to do with it.

By looking at the urges, you only look at half of the story.

However, if you don’t believe that media doesn’t play a role in how society, you would be extremely naive. If you hear it enough, it can become your reality. I ride MARTA and live near Ashby Marta station. There are tons of kids over there thanks to Washington High. I’ve heard one male tell a female that he had a “magic stick” come on baby and let me hit that.” I know magic stick (really another word) is a song by 50 cent and I think Lil Kim. He didn’t come up with by himself.

The urges are natural, but there is responsibility that goes along with sex that is totally ignored by the US society.

My point is that the here in the US, sex is everywhere. Yet, we stick our heads in the sands when it comes time to address it. Try mentioning sex education is schools. It is blasphemy. Many parents think that sex ed is giving kids a license to have sex, and the parents then protest and scream “abstinence is the only way.”

This leads to kids who don’t realize the full consequences that come with being sexually active, and get confused.

There was a high school girl on Michael Baisden (Monday is usually some teen topic day), and she was asked by co-host “George Wilborn” to abstain from sex until she graduated. Her response was that she would try. Its not what she said that was telling. It was how she said it. She is obviously ruled by sex. The sad part of it was that she was really looking for love.

By AmazonRed

July 29, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

Insurance covers birth control for women. It’s the new male BC that I think is not yet covered.

Raqi - It depends on the company. My company only covered BC unless medically necessary until this year. And I still don’t think certain non pill forms of BC are covered (like the patch, nuvo ring, etc)

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

raqi i was going to state that and forgot to add it in my post. what insurance company are people with that don’t cover birth control? i’m on it and buy it for $20 at the pharmacy with no problem.

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

@ATL Guy

So true about the differences in the mentality between American culture and European culture when it comes to nudity, sexuality,etc…years ago I worked at Lenox Mall in a store that specialized in high-end European couture for infants, toddlers, children to age 12/13…the European custom for swimwear was that most children wore only the bottoms up until about the age of 10 or so (depending on development)…my boss (Belgian) purchased swim bottoms for up to age 3 years for the girls…ppl had fits…the same ppl who thought nothing of allowing their small toddlers to walk around in a diaper only had major fits about only having the swim bottoms because they thought that there was more of a sexual connotation in the swimwear…uh!??!??!

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

ARed that makes sense to me. thx!

By C tha 1

July 29, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Let me make on thing clear in the story I just told. The man in question stopped taking his diabetic medication because it basically negates the effects of Viagra. Now I’m no medical physician, or pharmacist or anything like that, my dad just so happens to be a dirty old man, and I have uncles who are dirty old men too. You know, the type of old men who swap prescrition drugs … “Oh, oh, oh, take this fa yo back it’ll help wit’ yo Arthur” and “Yeah, yeah, this right here a good pain killer”. But please believe ain’t nobody swappin diabetic medication. Raqi is right there is another way around the situation by introducing other means of stimulation into the equation. Unfortunately, some dudes don’t see the benefits. Luckily I’m not one of them.

At the end of the day men equate Power with Sex. Sad but true. It may not be some dudes sole purpose in life, and their member may not influence every decision they make … but its somewhere in the equation. I mean hell the definition of impotence is the lack of power/strength. Once that term is applied to your sex drive, or lack there of then there is definitely reason for concern … that’s just putting it kindly.

Businesses manipulate the power/sex illusion for men too. I have a friend who is a pharmacist. We used to kick it back in undergrad, but we were trippin’ on the phone one day and we started talking about Enzeyte. She’s always warning me about going to GNC and that everything they sell isn’t particularly healthy, just stick with the basic stuff (i.e., multivitamins and the like). Well the people who make Enzeyte runnin game any dope boy ought to appreciate.

From reading Men’s Health magazines and different advertisements I know that you can get a free trail pack. But my friend revealed some research to me that indicated that men who had prolonged use of Enzeyte and stopped experienced noticable shrinkage. In turn this will make them dependent on the drug because don’t no man want to work with a two inch killer. The funny part was I overheard some guys at the gym talk about how he was using it just to see what it would do … did it live up to the commercial. She explained to me the Phizer (I think that’s the company’s name) knows that men want more sex, better sex, and to feel good about pleasing their women. Therefore, the first hit is free! Ain’t that a bytch. I think I explained this before on here … I can’t remember.

By Atl Lady

July 29, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Atl GuyAre you trying to start another blog fight again? lolololol The big deal is the basic principles in which the US is founded. The US was founded by persons who strongly believed in the Bible. The Bible has very strict and conservative views on sex. We’ve strayed as a nation quite a bit in the last 50 years, but in a negative way. We don’t want our children to be taught sex education in school, but we’re not talking about it at home either. We have so many contradictions going on in our society. Our country believe in bearing arms more than they believe in a person’s right to be who they are in spirit and truth. This is why there’s constant debate over gay rights/marriage, abortion rights, right to die, and other stuff. Do you get my point?

By Wise Diva

July 29, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

Hey everyone! WOW, excellent discussion this morning!

By abc

July 29, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

I think that to use such terms as ‘bedroom politics’ and to refer to ‘sex and power’ as an effect (any effect is due to a cause) is a perversion. A healthy romantic relationship won’t subscribe to the subterfuge that politics encompasses. Sex as power over another is a wrong approach.

Women in positions of power are an interesting phenomenon. I’ve worked for women 3 times, and I will never work for a woman again. They were completely miserable experiences. I believe that women make mercenary and totally self-absorbed managers. They will protect themselves at all costs, including (or perhaps especially) that incurred by their supervisees and the company they work for. Lies, deceit, secrets — these are the hallmark of women in business. I don’t see why female politicians would be any different. It’s not as if I wouldn’t vote for a woman; I just wouldn’t work for her. Period. Never again!

By AmazonRed

July 29, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

Let me make on thing clear in the story I just told. The man in question stopped taking his diabetic medication because it basically negates the effects of Viagra. Now I’m no medical physician, or pharmacist or anything like that, my dad just so happens to be a dirty old man, and I have uncles who are dirty old men too. You know, the type of old men who swap prescrition drugs

LMAO. Thanks for the clarification C tha 1.

By Poppa Grande

July 29, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

ATL Guy

That’s my point about the US. I have traveled the world. We have a major hang-up about sex and nudity (at least outwardly). It is a taboo subject here.

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

2C BC is womans enabler. And so condoms are mens. In my mind, if your single and your practicing abstinence you gotta keep yourself away from the temptations…e.i. certain places, or time alone with a attractive person that you know will evoke the thought. I tell my young dating relatives all the time.

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

@abc

I think that to use such terms as ‘bedroom politics’ and to refer to ‘sex and power’ as an effect (any effect is due to a cause) is a perversion. A healthy romantic relationship won’t subscribe to the subterfuge that politics encompasses. Sex as power over another is a wrong approach.

Yes, what you state is true…but the operative is * healthy romantic relationship * because then the power play is moot and mute…but this is not always the case with dysfunctional being the only real fun some ppl know how to create…ideally this sex and power should not be an issue…but in so many instances it is…especially when our reasons for engaging are shallow, self-serving and vain from jump…

By Dan

July 29, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

I don’t know what you talking about abc.

I love working with women as my supervisors. Hell, most of the problems I’ve had were with insecure men mad becuase suddenly they have to deal with an equal as a “subordinate”.

The women I’ve dealt with by and large I treat them all with the same courtesy and respect that Ma Dukes instilled in her “southern gentleman”.

Being as I don’t involve myself with office politics, I’ve never experienced anything like that with female coworkers.

Maybe it’s that latent hostility that you have toward all women j/k, bnr

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

@Poppa G

LOL..it is the taboo subject that is on eveybody’s mind but tacit to leaving their tongues…imagine that…

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

Poppa I am not saying that. What I am saying is even if the music and tv was not here, the discipline of sex would still need to be enforced. So we shouldn’t say that’s the problem. It’s merely a contributor to the matter.

When I was growing up my dad did not allow us to watch certain programs and listen to certain music. But that did not stop the desire for sex.

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 29, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

“if your single and your practicing abstinence you gotta keep yourself away from the temptations…e.i. certain places, or time alone with a attractive person that you know will evoke the thought.”

you know I’m lookin at you kock-eyed, right????

By SlimOne

July 29, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

C tha 1…menfolk

At the end of the day men equate Power with Sex. Sad but true. It may not be some dudes sole purpose in life, and their member may not influence every decision they make … but its somewhere in the equation. I mean hell the definition of impotence is the lack of power/strength. Once that term is applied to your sex drive, or lack there of then there is definitely reason for concern … that’s just putting it kindly.

So do you think men feel less powerful when they aren’t able to procreate due to low sperm count or what not?

By ATL Guy

July 29, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

MKary appreciate your post with your experience too!

ATL-Lady so the country was established with religious premise and yet we have more violence in this country than many other countries. See the Contradiction here. I understand USA is based on conservative values, but come on! A little practicality will go far because I think many are just way out of touch with reality.

By Tazzee

July 29, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli while avoiding temptation is key, I still think birth control is necessary in some instances. For instance you may be teaching abstinence to your young relatives, but that might not be enforced in their own homes. Too many times you have young people with strong sexual desires before their minds have fully grasped the concepts of willpower and discipline.

By Wise Diva

July 29, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

let me ask some questions, what would you do if your partner asked you to do something that made you very uncomfortable, do you find a way to compromise? DO it anyway? or ignore the request?

By i'm swiss

July 29, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

@ATL Guy —

The reason sex is such a taboo here & violence seems more accepted… One word: religion.

This country was founded by a bunch of religious nut-cases, and the effects still haven’t worn off. Most religions (except maybe Hindi & Buddhism) have no problem w/ violence, so long as you’ve got “god on your side.” So… wanna show a person getting blown to bits on TV? No problem — just make sure we don’t accidentally sneak a peek at a t*tty in the process. :-) Sad, but true…

By melo

July 29, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

Enzeyte is that an organ enhancing drug?..mean hell the definition of impotence is the lack of power/strength u right about that,if u cant hit or produce offspring,we(society) look dwn on u…firing blanks has such a negative effect on self esteem.. I will never work for a woman again me too,abc,the last one i wrked for was not very proffsnal,and they want to exert their power at the most inapropriate time,instead of just flowing with it..if u knw ur stuff and hw to manage,ur troops will follow..anyway,diffent topic for another day!! This leads to kids who don’t realize the full consequences that come with being sexually active my daughter is 14 nw, and each time she goes to the fme doc with my wife,they do have sex talk with doc…..what are the experiences of other parents out there…?

By Dan

July 29, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

@WD

It depends on what you mean by “partner” and what the request was.

Generally, if I cared enough, there just about nothing that I wouldn’t do.

But hey, I’m a heck of a guy!

By For Real

July 29, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!

Look here ladies the govt has and will always be more concerned with women’s health than men. The govt spends 10 times more on women than men.

High Blood Pressure medication have beta blockers in the medicine which causes ED. So, why shouldn’t insurance cover viagra?

MK Why do old or middle age women need birth control? Besides, the insurance companies don’t cover condom nor do they cover vasectomies. The bias you speak is towards men not women.

I do believe that sex has a great influence on politics in America. The country has been predominantly run by men for years and many men feel sex is very important therefore these feelings would carryover into professional decisions. I think the billion dollar porn industry would be proof of the importance. What does the porn industry have to do with public policy? That’s like saying a lot of men feel weed is important therefore those feels carryover into professional decisions. I think the billion dollar weed industry would be proof of the importance. Come sugga butt you know that don’t make no sense. The legal system and the health system is setup for women. Men have been dying from cancer and heart disease for centuries but as soon as women and children start dying it becomes an epidemic. The simple truth is all govt social programs are for women not men.

For Real now thanking gawd that earmuffingtectomies are covered by medicade.

By Poppa Grande

July 29, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

ATL Lady

The “founders” of this country came from Europe. Mostly England, but Spain, German, France, Dutch influences are the part of it as well.

However, I think that we are lying to ourselves to think that we can surpress the “urges” on a whim. Priest molesting children, Priest who are porn addicts, etc. prove that we are human.

We are just “prudes” plan and simple. The only people that we are fooling are ourselves.

By abc

July 29, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

No Dan, I don’t have a ‘latent hostility toward women’, and I get along very nicely with female coworkers. It has simply been my observation and personal experience that women in supervisory positions (VP and up) are quite destructive of everything and everyone around them in their endeavor to protect themselves from threats real and imagined.

Now, perhaps that’s just my personal experience and others can choose to not apply my way of thinking about it to their own activities, and that’s just fine. But there is absolutely no way I’d put myself in that position again.

By melo

July 29, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

less powerful when they aren’t able to procreate due to low sperm count or what not? yes,its a hush hush and a taboo but thats the bottomline….

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 29, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

“what would you do if your partner asked you to do something that made you very uncomfortable, do you find a way to compromise?”

a partner can kick rocks, but wifey can get it every which-a-way til Sunday! I read somewhere that said, “the marriage bed is undefiled”.

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

wise that’s what i don’t understand. there is no uncomfortable with your SO! you two should know one another enough to get down like that. i really really hate to talk about my ex everyday on here, but this question hits home. why couldn’t he had come to me with the extra things he wanted to do in the bedroom? how did he not know i wanted the same? is it that he respected me? fellas, help me out here.

C tha 1 i apologize for my comment to you. it should have read yes, this is true for me.

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

2C I’m sayin’ for the young folks if we are teachin and preachin’ safe sex we gotta tell them preventive messures in addition to the use of contraceptives and all that.

no need for the caterac (spl) eye ball

Tazzee the same younger cousin that stayed w/ me and my boy in our room last week in Miami is the same 16y/o now 17 year old that has a 2 month old. I agree with your statement, b/c as much as I told her to stay outta the heat her mom was not saying the same…ergo pregnant @ 16 years old. NOW I’m explaining what could have been a non issue with my 9 year old why his smart/sweet cousin got pregnant. Everytime he looked at her with the baby I could see the inquiring thoughts on his face.

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

@For Real

I am not referring to middle aged women needing birth control…I am referring to insurance companies not covering the cost of bc for women vs. covering the cost of rod supplements for men…and there are times when women use bc for balancing hormones and other hormonally driven concerns, not actually pregnancy control related issues…I have a friend who is taking bc for just that reason…and I say again, if insurance companies will cover the cost for one, then the cost for the other should be covered as well.

@swiss

*This country was founded by a bunch of religious nut-cases, and the effects still haven’t worn off. *

Uh-huh…true dat…

By C tha 1

July 29, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

So do you think men feel less powerful when they aren’t able to procreate due to low sperm count or what not?

I can’t speak for every man, but I wouldn’t let that keep me down. True enough it would be a blow, but I believe one can always reload the gun. Its simply a matter of prayer, healthy diet, and exercise.

The male ego is a fragile thing, but its the resposibility of every man to make it stronger. The samething applies to making yourself physically stronger, or smarter, or financially stable. You gotta have some real conversations with yourself and acknowledge your weaknesses and strive to make them better. There will be some things beyond your control, but that’s for God to handle.

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

WiseDiva Compromise. Find a common ground that satisfies both of you.

The key is to avoid resentment. To be forced to do something against my will that I am 100% against only generate resentment that will forever be ingrained in my psyche. And believe me it will come up again therefore feeding into other matters fueling other problems eventually leading to demise. To be denied a heartfelt wish can also cause resentment. Having the same effect. So you have to talk about the importances of how you feel and the request.

However I still stand by some things just are not worth it. There are some instances that I am willing to end the union for.

By Poppa Grande

July 29, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

Raqi

I think that we are saying the same thing in different ways.

I stated the urges would be there. The biological is a given. We wouldn’t be here as a species if it wasn’t.

However, media tells us that its ok. But, society makes it taboo (even moreso for females). There is a major contridiction there. This contradiction can lead to confusion, especially to young people.

Unfortunately, we can’t compare we faced to what these kid’s today face. The same could be said for me and my parents. Lucy and Ricky didn’t even sleep in the same bed (when my parents were kids). Now, look at TV. Last night, the first 5 minutes of Saving Grace was Holly Hunter getting it on in a bathroom on TNT.

When I was college, we just starting the chat online. Now, look at what can get into your home through the internet. Its no contest. Parents have a tougher task of teaching not being drowned out by outside forces that don’t have your children’s wellbeing at heart.

By For Real

July 29, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

Wise I need to have power defined please. And to answer your questions: what would you do if your partner asked you to do something that made you very uncomfortable, do you find a way to compromise? DO it anyway? or ignore the request? Exhale!

Slim Powerless No but I think it effects a man legacy or what he wants his legacy to be.

By mytwocents

July 29, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

Not ALL benefits include birth control coverage and/or the percentage can be miniscule. Not ALL men who take Viagra are doing so out of medical necessity. Don’t even wanna get on this here patriarchal society…

Slim Yup, material things are more highly valued to some of us than our bodies & bodily functions. Basically, some of us are considered no more than walking receptacles w/ a price tag. We can either play into it or deflect… And don’t forget the overly intimate discussion about STDs or testing. That’s offensive. But he wanna come over and put his what…where?

ATL Guy It’s the facade that matters. Notice how some of the main crusaders against immorality are the main ones getting busted for buying, soliciting, engaging in whichever vice.

By melo

July 29, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

is it that he respected me? fellas, help me out here. what kind of favors was he getting on the outside,Beautiful?

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

2Can While truly undefiled, I am not willing to endure torture or packing for anyone.

By Utopia

July 29, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

A healthy romantic relationship won’t subscribe to the subterfuge that politics encompasses exactly, but when aren’t people about their own agendas? Most times the physical, whether the looks or engaging, is the motive. Seems rather shallow and devoid of anything real and a capable means for having a healty romantic relationship.

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

@Poppa G

True, the standards have drastically changed in the last few generations as far as media images on sex, sexuality, etc…and the messages are indeed mixed…double standards abound…there are our biological urges that kick in as we reach the age of puberty and development, as well as the curiosity factor that creeps into our minds…and we continue to send different messages to young ppl about it…sex appeal is used to market almost evry consumer product on the market.

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

*The “married” bed is undefiled. *

When you have conversation with ppl about this exp single ppl u have to make uhm understand if they are living in the FIRE…it’s better to marry, than to burn.

Personally I’m not as keen to that so until my turn I take the other route;…no matches, no lighter, no fire, no burn!

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 29, 2008 12:33 PM | Link to this

Raqi, I’m not saying endure torture or anything of the sorts, but the principle of catering to your mate is what I’m getting at….and I hope one’s mate doesn’t ask them to do something totally riduculous, all in the name of keepin it interesting…..cause some shyt is just taboo for me.

By For Real

July 29, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

Twopennies patriarchal society please elaborate.

MK You made my point. Insurance covers men and women for medicinal reasons. Just bc you don’t agree with the application doesn’t make unfair. Men can’t legally get viagra with a prescription but can women get BC without a prescription?

Raqi Awwww come on not even a little bit of packing????

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

2Can Then we agree. I aim to please.

ForReal Once you finish packing your woman she has the right and free pass to ram a 8” banana into your rectum. Right???

By Page1908

July 29, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

For Real True, women have to have a prescription for BC, but women do not have to have a prescription for The Morning After Pill. Sigh

By For Real

July 29, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

Romantic relationship: shallow and devoid of anything real

However, you continue to search for it why?

Cemeeli no matches, no lighter, no fire, no burn!

HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

PG Everyone seems to forget that Europe emptied out all of its prison and mental homes and sent them to America. So you had a bunch of crimials and wack jobs trying to go against their nature. Thus you have this country. What if Europe would have emptied out its scholars and craftman is the question.

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

I have a question, mainly for the women on this blog…but the men are also encouraged to reply…I live with 2 ppl who have been common law for 22 years…interracial couple…he is still married to his second wife of ten years but has been estranged from her for almost 25…infidelity issues on his behalf…he has not had any interest physically, sexually and emotionally in the woman he currently has been with in almost 15 years…and he also has not been faithful in this relationship either…the original agreement was that he would pay the household expenses (she lives rent free) and she would buy groceries and cook the food…he feels that she is indebted to him for allowing her to live there rent free for 22 years…she does not seem to have a clue that the man is not into her anymore, nor about his infidelities over the years…I have watched her attempt to initiated physically intimate interaction with him, only to be blatantly rejected…the only time they spend together is when she is helping him with household chores (repairs, gardening) or cooking meals…occasionally they hang out in the pool even thought he as told me it disgust him to see her in a swimsuit ( she has gained a lot of weight over the years)…I just do not know if I could continue to maintain a relationship with someone who made it obvious that he no longer had any type of desire for me whatsoever…would you stay or would you leave? Would your self-respect and pride not be in question by staying with someone who only viewed youas a convenience for cooking and an inconvenience otherwise?

By Jazzyone

July 29, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

Wisr to answer your question about if your mate ask you to do something you don’t realy want to sexually??

Well for me healthy sexual communication with my man is what keeps up captivated with each other. We discuss what we both like to engage in and what we prefer not to. Hes accomidating and I am as well. making love is an artful act in my opinion. or at least thats whats going on at my house.

We both have also found that talking about sex between us, reflection on past sessions and current ones keep us both stimulated its a aphrodesiac (sp)for us

As far as doing things I don’t want to sexually well yeah there are some thing im not into, the things I am into with my man far outweigh and stay on his mind longer than what I prefer not to indulge in. hes happy and so the heyal am I trust it.

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this

I have never been denied birth control by my insurance company.

By Poppa Grande

July 29, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this

Wise

You should know your mate to a degree. As far as my wife and I goes, she has surprised me and vice versa. But we knew enough about each other before hand to make that move.

We have some basic guidelines, but very few things are non-negotiable. I know her well enough to know when she is uncomfortable with something period (in or out of the bedroom)

Angie

Is he children’s father?

Some guys just have hangups about asking their woman to do certain things especially if they have children together. The thought of the mother kissing their kids with the same mouth that she used for other purposes can really bother some men.

By Jazzyone

July 29, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

M What?? She has a clue, he has a clue and everyone is acting like they are in a fog but they aren’t. Everyone is comfortable and people only do what they are allowed to do. really that simple.

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 12:55 PM | Link to this

ForReal….gotta feelin I skimmin 2 be in a skit

l’m very well occupied until the Mr. can cool me down and heat me up. Trust. I got it underwraps. no sponsors from fisher price either.

mytwo my post to you was eaten.

By mkaryl

July 29, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this

@For Real

I just think that it is a gender bias…my opinion…as for me, I have no need for bc’s…have not used them in years (smoker)…but I do not have any need for a man who has broken parts problems either…so it does not affect me one way or the other…just stating my views…first admendment expression…no more.

By Jazzyone

July 29, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this

Poappa Ladies if you ar enot pleasing your man with the basics, good sex and some good fiyah’ head trust he will get it elsewhere…Sorry to be so blunt but its the truth take it or leave it..clutch your pearls and all that…but you sistahs better start practicing or your man will be speaking tongues with another chick that speaks the same language….LMAOFF!!

By mkaryl

July 29, 2008 1:00 PM | Link to this

@JazzyOne

No, she really does not have a clue..he knows…a few neighbors that kniw him kniw this…I know this…she does not get it…I listen to her talk and I listen to him talk…she truly his clueless…when I saw his recent interaction with him…she started coming home earlier, going out of her way to be able to spend more time with him…I saw the pained look in her face…I almost cried…everyone seems to know but her…hey-ale, even his estranged wife knows…

By ATL Guy

July 29, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

Ok so country was founded on with a Religious Basis from European Settlers. Canada was also & they have Wayyyy less violence. See I think its deeper than to just blame religion for it. You should have seen the way Alpharetta reacted to that Love Shack being opened. Would have thought they were beating up babies in there or something! I can’t get over the fact this country is so free yet we are so sexually repressed. Its the Strangest Thing. Religion will have an aspect for sure, but there’s more at play than this

By Jazzyone

July 29, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

M SHE KNOWS, she doesnt’ want to acknowlege the inevitable and shes fooling herself into believeing she can make it better….she knows….

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

Mkaryl so if you are with a man and something should happen that he needs to take the pill, you won’t stay with him??? Is that what you are saying? You are aware that there are many factors that can contribute to ED.

My marido asked my once what will I do if (when) it comes to that point in our relationship. My answer is I will freely purchase the pill for him if need be.

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 1:07 PM | Link to this

melo forgive me for not answering your question.

poppa yes he is. and i believe you.

jazzy communication … yes, that simple. i don’t read minds. how are you btw?

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 1:11 PM | Link to this

M’karyl your sharing in her pain. If you can get her to see that he is not healthy for her she may not feel like she owes to him “her all” which is what she is giving. She need to see some light somewhere, somehow. Dag!

Wow 22 years to dat nig?!

By mytwocents

July 29, 2008 1:11 PM | Link to this

Cee Uhmm even if I get you a custom made full body-fire proof-guava flavored condom, you’ll be suceptible to bein caught afire when in the presence of the right spark.

IV Real Didn’t I say I don’t wanna??? You never listen to me… But since I was bout to get on you anyway, gimme a minute.

WD Request of any particular kind? Or did you purposefully leave it open ended?

By Tazzee

July 29, 2008 1:14 PM | Link to this

ATL Guy do you have to put everything in bold?

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 29, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this

“Uhmm even if I get you a custom made full body-fire proof-guava flavored condom, you’ll be suceptible to bein caught afire when in the presence of the right spark.”

tell her again, .02!

By Jazzyone

July 29, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

Hey Beautiful, how you doing girl! glad you are happy and healthy!

By ATL Guy

July 29, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this

Tazee oh right, its like I’m YELLING huh!?

By i'm swiss

July 29, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this

@ATL Guy — I’m not really up on my Canadian history, so I could be wrong, but I don’t believe many of the original European settlers of Canada were Puritans, as they were in the U.S. Those folks were definitely at or near the top of the sexual repression totem pole. (And I personally think there’s a pretty strong correlation between sexual repression & violence/aggression).

Of course, you’re correct to say that it’s not only religion. Nothing’s ever that simple. If you look at how the 2 nations gained sovereignty, it’s 2 completely different origins. The U.S. was born out of war, and that’s pretty much the way we’ve attempted to solve most of our conflicts since.

By mkaryl

July 29, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

@Raqi I do not get with anyone who has that problem…I dismiss the consideration…period…if I were vested in a relationship and that happened to be the case, that is one thing…but at this stage I would rather not be bothered.

@Cemeeli

Yes I do feel her pain…and because I knew him before I met her, I am also privileged to information that she does not know…when he offered to rent me a room in his house he did not even bother to tell her any details about who I was, why I was moving in,etc…when I asked him how she would feel about it, he said he did not care, that it was his house and she lived there rent free…he just told her to clean out the room and make it rady for a boarder…I finally had to explain to her who I was and why I was there after almost two months because I ask him to do so and he said he would not, that it was not her business…he is a decent person to others…but a mother as a man to be involved with… I just see her self respect being trampled and abused…sad…and this is worth being in a relationship…one that is loveless, sexless and without any affection???!!!?

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

mytwo yea, but that’s why i stay away for Guava trees. I usually make a very lovely smoothie with ‘em. for now

Tazzeei see you thinkin’ in my world.

By ATL Guy

July 29, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

Swiss do you have blonde hair??

By i'm swiss

July 29, 2008 1:31 PM | Link to this

@ATL Guy — To finish that thought… While I agree that religion is not the only culprit, I do think it’s the root cause. If you look at the nations/cultures where religion plays the most prominent role in daily life and, in particular, politics — you’ll typically find those to be the most violent (U.S., Isreal, pick a Middle Eastern nation, etc.). Whenever people believe they have some sort of “divine authority” on their side, violence ensues — guaranteed.

By Jazzyone

July 29, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

M Girl if you think this woman doesn’t know whats going on you are the naive one. I would not get in the middle of their mess less drama for you. If she wants to lay int hat bed let her…shes a grown woman and you can’t save grown folks..when a woman gets tired she gets tired until then everyone else is helping in vain…

By Sidelines

July 29, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

Jazzy, Sorry to be so blunt but its the truth take it or leave it..clutch your pearls and all that…but you sistahs better start practicing or your man will be speaking tongues with another chick that speaks the same language……Why did I hear Kat Williams from American Hustle talk’n bout’, ‘raggedy bishes’ when you said that, lmao…too funny!!!!

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 1:37 PM | Link to this

m’karyl your roomate/friend is having a downtrodden type bondage (bond to him for wronog reason) relationship with this man. Simply, she needs to find a place of refuge and exhale him out of her.

dare i go….on the guava sub.

*amazing what you can do with a guava, pineapples and some…oh…

mytwo do make me!…anutha futha.

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

m’karyl first, it’s sad that she thinks she lives there rent free. she contributes, just not as much as the jerk. second, try not to be so concerned about her welfare. she knows everything you want to tell her. third, this arrangement you have with him is obviously a great advantage to you, so don’t screw it up by meddling.

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this

M’karyl she KNOWS. No woman is that dumb and no man’s “game” is that tight! She may not want to admit it, but the pain she’s feeling she’s aware that it’s not just because he’s not being physical with her. I’m sorry she’s going through what she’s going through. As pointed out, perhaps you can help her pick up her self-esteem because it presently resides at the bottom of that pool. No one should settle for a relationship like that. Do you know why she’s settling. Can it be she’s living some where rent free. I sure hope not, but others have thrown their self-respect out the window for less.

By Tazzee

July 29, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this

ATL Guy LOL, yes. It’s like folks are in a room having a conversation and every time you want to chime in you stand up and yell your point then sit back down.

mkaryl when she does wake up I hope you’re not there. That sounds like a Snapped episode waiting to happen.

By Atl Lady

July 29, 2008 1:45 PM | Link to this

Atl GuyThe world as a whole is violent. I’m not discounting our short comings at all as Americans, but you have a tendency to make constant comparisons to the US and Europe. I love my European brothers and sisters and I embrace their differences. I recall in recent memory of the violence in France for alleged discrimination against muslims, the bombings in London, the continuous uprisings in Ireland, and trash they refuse to clean up in Italy. These are all in places where they aren’t supposed to be so uptight as Americans.

By i'm swiss

July 29, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

“Swiss do you have blonde hair??”

Um… well, more light brown now. Used to be blonde when I was a kid. Why?

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

@@JazzyOne**

I beg to dffer…this woman is truly clueless…I listen and I see…I am not in it…I pay my rent and I have my life…she sees me coming and going with my buds and such…speding time with ppl who enjoy my company…and all she has is an empty space…sometimes, I watche her alone in the living room watching tv…alone…and lonely…I say nothing…I have my freedom to come and go…hey-ale, I can invite acquaintances to the house to hang out at the pool and grill…she cannot even invite her family over because he will leave or stay upstairs…I just think that to be with someone for 22 years and have so little to show for it in terms of love and affection is a waste…and if he dies tomorrow the estranged wife gets everything and she left him 25 years ago…

By SlimOne

July 29, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

Daytime thoughts:

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

@Tazee

Uh-huh…and she is so warm…she has a beautiful smile and a good heart…she works a full time job and a part time one…she earns the extra money to help her daughter who has a terminal stage of a rare cancer (only 31)…cares for her granddaughter and takes care of her mother who recently went through an amputation…as well as her own neglected health concerns…and I can not help but care…I can not do anything…I treat her well…enjoy spending time with her…she is a chef so we both enjoy cooking…and sometimes I just cry…

By ATL Guy

July 29, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

Swiss I will disagree a bit here. Religion has an impact without a doubt. Also, we give a ton of charity and funding for relief…more than any other country and religious upbringing can factor in that as well for the positive. But, look at Spain for an example or Italy…these are Very religious countries. Yet, the crime is more petty theft than the prominent violence. Its our society which conditions each of us to be defined by what we have. We focus on work and money where these other places focus more on family and less on work. By focusing so much on work and being stressed, could lead to high debt and cause people to snap. Americans are conditioned to be assertive and not passive by nature. This is more of values instilled by society, which could lead to some problems or issues we currently have.

Working all the time for material things, will cause disruption in many families, and kids are raised without respect & ethics, then are lead astray, this happens too often

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

Tazzee yep! m’karyl told me this … and told me that. jerk now tossin’ m’karyl’s stuff to the curb.

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this

Well, is she mentally handicapped???

By Jamoca

July 29, 2008 1:59 PM | Link to this

…”when in the presence of the right spark”…

Umm huh, and all that….and much sooner than you “tink”…already well acquainted with som’em that’s highly flammable…

Hello everybody!…MyTwo, sup girl?…I see the all the grains are gone?…smh…that’s alright, “ya’ know she has a stash of her own”…

…and as I am not totally sure who/how this was brought up (may be Cee or Melo), but in regards to educating the young folks…my oldest daughter, attended a performing arts magnet school last year(being that the school recvd so many positive reviews from some parents and staff)…however, not long after the school year began, my daughter came home stating how much homosexuality was going on….in MIDDLE SCHOOL!…and in the business of recruiting (of course)!…ANNNDDD to top it off, this very issue was aired on the news shortly after.

…and although I’ve openly discussed the issue of sex with her since she began K4 (along the lines of “good touches and bad touches)…I DO NOT and have never waited until she brings the issue up!…b/c by that time she’s recvd some ignorant advice from some of the kids at her school, but my word(s) has been engraved from the very beginning.

I would be lying to myself if I said that by constantly educating and discussing this issue will take away the curiosity and “everything will be picture perfect”…”our” children spend at least 7hrs with a whole “slew” of youth who are exposed to all sorts of bizarre lifestyles, which does discriminate against CLASS (despite what some may think -heyal, with some of these “over-priveleged” yet seem so “sheltered” children, too much exposure to such high technology to include the “innanet”…leaves these babies with the option of making ADULT decisions, and then of course…they have to get the word out “to the others…”

…and although I know I am doing more than my part (as I should), I also remind her, that part of the responsibility when I comes to such pressures are up to the child - we as parents can only pray that our children will effectively utilize “the tools” provided to them, in order to think for THEMSELVES…in order to make a clear and wise decision.

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this

Sorry, didn’t mean to come off harsh, but why DO YOU think she’s settling like this. What is she afraid of. Sorry to hear about her daughter as well. She seems to be a nice person from what you wrote. No doubt she values the time you spend with her treating her like a human being.

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this

m’karyl…sidebar…and i’m not feeling the need to go real deep.

She is gonna come too, right? Do you think? I mean this is soo wrong…all i can keep imaging is 22 years of bondage!!!

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

@Beautiful

You have it wrong.. I do not speak to her about their relationship…she may speak to me and I just listen…I talk to him because we had that rapport before I moved in…and we still do…hae has always told me things about his lack of interest in her…but I know that when I see him buyning earrings that someone is waiting to see him…she ain’t getting them…I do not get involved with other ppls relationshiops by taking any action…I just asked a question because I do not understand how a relationship can be worth holding on to and there is nothing there…he has told me many times that if he came home one day and she had pack her bags and left he would not care…I have known him since Sept. I moved in April…and it is now July…

By i'm swiss

July 29, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

@ATL Guy — True enough… I agree w/ you on all that. Sometimes I just have too much fun bashing religion… Guess it’s rebellion from my wack-o, Southern Baptist brain-washing — er, I mean upbringing. ;-)

By Dan

July 29, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

So far all the sins that we each committ everyday, me and my chosen partner having are going to hell?

Wow.

Well, I think I can be forgiven for most of my sexual acts. Some of ‘em I have a hard time with myself….

But if it’s what the lady wants…

It’s what the lady gets..

Respect and crazy looks to those “waiting on the ‘One’”. The D ain’t built for it…

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 2:07 PM | Link to this

@SexyLeggs

One failed marriage to a man who cheated on her…living with a man who has never been able to marry her…I do not know…

By ATL Guy

July 29, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this

Tazee have your conversation! Its not a big deal

By Jazzyone

July 29, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this

Mkarl Is he purchasing the earrings for you??

By Atl Lady

July 29, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

SwissLOL @ Southern Bap.

By Tazzee

July 29, 2008 2:15 PM | Link to this

Beautiful I was thinking more along the lines of her losing it and mkaryl getting caught in the crossfire. And that concern is heightened after hearing about all the other stress she has in her life right now.

mkaryl perhaps with taking care of her daughter, granddaughter, mother, working 2 jobs, etc - she just does not feel like addressing this other issue in her life right now. I have to agree that I think she knows, but she doesn’t have the strength to deal with it right now. I don’t know how you do it, I would be crying too.

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 2:16 PM | Link to this

I too feel for her. Whenever I hear the word “settling” I will think of her. There’s a reason for everything and she has hers! She hasn’t asked your opinion on anything then stay as you are, neutral. Right now, you’ve been placed in that position for a reason. At present, you’re her sounding board.

By Utopia

July 29, 2008 2:16 PM | Link to this

For Real we continue to look, until we are certain we’ve found. That’s the core of our being. Not that we all have and find that someone but the search is about as natural as breathing. Whether it’s the hunt, a longing, a wanting. That’s not to say we’ll all find what we’re looking for, but I believe our design. Every look at our bodies and the design? Total opposite parts but a perfect fit.

Compromising….No such thing between soulmates. Folks we randomly hang out with, yes compromise exists. A guy posed a question asking how far should be too far, with the willingness to explore sexuality in a relationship/for a spouse. My answer, the more connected I am, the less inhibitions. At the same time, the connection is mutual on both parties would know how far is too far in asking or receiving. There are some things that ain’t no way, I’d do for some random dude or even a crush, some things I’ve yet to explore, but a spouse where there’s that mutual soulmate connection, I’m open.

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

BTW, your arrival in April may have prevented her from going poastal. You never know.

By Token Gringo

July 29, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

Atlanta does have weird dating and bedroom politics. Dating a yankee is a completely different proposition than one of our Southern Belles, mostly based upon commonly acceptable practices in the dating rituals. Most yankee women I’ve dated think if I offer to pay for dinner that I expect sex. Not true, though it would be appreciated ;). Southern women tend to expect the man to pay for the 1st date, which I am accustomed to as well.
As for the birth control vs Viagra stuff, health insurance should pay nothing for viagra period. Birth control is a trickier issue because I don’t keep up with the health benefits of the pill, but birth control has always been the responsibility of the person getting it on rather than BCBS or the gov. Besides, my health care package is outrageously expensive. The less they pay for, the cheaper it will be.

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

m’karyl thanks for clearing that up. does she go on the internet? whenever you see her on, introduce her to MIA. it might open her eyes a little and at the same time learn something. yes, this goes against what i posted. so.

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

Wow, I would expect it to be the other way around Token!

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this

@JazzyOne

Hey-ale to the naw…this is a 61 beer gut toting, crooked, yellowed teeth white man (and according him, meds keep his stuff from working)…not exactly my cup of tea…okay…I do not deal with him on that level…strictly a ppl to ppl (good deal on the rent, great business sense)…I know about the earring from his neighbor who owns a shop he frequents, we are collaborating on some creative concepts together…so that’s how I know he is buying these earrings and that is what he likes to give to ladies…thais my clue…also…I think the diversions allow her to not be present and aware…but she has been trying to spend more time at home…hey-ale two of his neighbor buds noticed it…and when she does, I try to find other things to do (go visit some neighbors, create my jewelry line)…but he just blantantly rejects her attention…I guess that if that were my alternative to a relationship…then I am glad to be single at this age…

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this

Lol @ Beautiful cold stamping herself. It’s okay to contradict yourself…we see where you’re going with inviting her to read dating/relationship misadventures.

So…okay.

By ATL Guy

July 29, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

Swiss Southern Baptist huh!? Yikes, they were always the ones yelling at me on campus about how I’m going to burn in Hell etc etc. I was like “doesn’t Christianity emphasize the creator judging, not these people with signs and who have sinned consistently to judge me!?” Kind of wild, extreme hyproctrical. I’m not going to bash religion, because overall I think its good. But, I’ll call out the lunatics in a heartbeat!

So my best friend came in from Chicago and we met at a Barnes & Noble hanging out waiting for someone at the magazine rack. We start talking politics. I’m more center-right on my views, he’s way left on his views. We’re discussing etc etc. This old guy next to us chimes in to our conversation about how we know nothing about how these “terrorists” are coming to kill us etc etc etc. My friend from Chicago, goes right back to this guy about the war mistake and all this. I had to restrain them both from going at eachother in a bookstore! Things you can’t argue about, religion or politics…too many gray areas and most likely many will not sway one way or the other in their deep convictions

It was a funny as hell situation though!

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this

BTW…thanks for the responses…I really had to ask some reasonable ppl that question…I guess I needed to get it off my chest and I knew I could trust the blog to help with that…sometimes I want to put his head in the toilet and flush it…lol…but what goes around comes around…I hope that he is ready…

By Tazzee

July 29, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

ATL Guy Quit being so defensive - I didn’t mean it literally as if you were interrupting my own blog conversation, I meant it as if you’re a part of a big conversation but you just feel the need to yell your input. I’ve been reading your exchange with others on your topic and wondered why you felt the need to bold your responses, that’s all…

By Jazzyone

July 29, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

You think shes spending more time at hoem for what reason…she may be doing that to side eye you??! Ever thought of that??

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

I know this isn’t the forum to continue this, but it that’s how he looks how does she look. You said he said she gained weight. All I saw from you description of him was a redneck w/the crack of his butt showing when he sits (or even stands).

By Huh???

July 29, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

Do we have a new topic yet???? smh…

By Jazzyone

July 29, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

The thing is he isn’t going to burn in heyal M this chick is allowing it. So why be mad at him.

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

cee i’m just sayin’ … there’s always a back door to accomplishing something you have no business doing.

By ATL Guy

July 29, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

Tazee Its cool, chill … I’m not defensive in the slightest, but thanks for moderating the blog room

By brian

July 29, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

Valdosta is #1, Titletown USA!! Sorry, I needed to get that out there. Wise Diva,, You really can’t ignore the request? As they say, what you won’t do another dumb dumb will,, But at the same time, these chicks out here in the A are out of control.. I can understand if you give me a little warning,, but to ask off the rip,, pfff.. Then I dated a couple of females that want to act like a man, and you know __.. You can get punched in the chest like a man.. Stop playing.. I swear I meet the crazies chicks known..

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 2:47 PM | Link to this

Beautiful can i add, that you have been reading like you “grew some” more…whas sup wit it? :)

*…i’ve been reading Panther and she has definitley be on the prowl…well go head on!

By mytwocents

July 29, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this

2C She playin. Ain’t foolin nobody over here…

Hola Beautiful! If you still can’t drop say whatcha sayin or drop a heavy enough hint, get some of those spice dice or whateva they’re called and let em speak for ya.

Sparky Gonna need for you not to quote me against me. Cuz the way he cool u down might be what then heats u up. A win-win but only if u let it.

By Atl Lady

July 29, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

Atl GuyWTF???Two complete strangers arguing in the middle of a bookstore??!!! Sounds like someone looking for a fight. Hey, sounds like someone I know….:-)

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

@JazzyOne

It is obvious to her that I am not interested because I have to many FYT’s on my social list…and a few other friends…so not an issue…this is strictly a business deal for a reasonable place to stay…and one that is convenient to the major bus route in this area…I spend most of my time in my room or hanging out with some neighbors playing cards…drinking beer…I go out quite a lot with other ppl and such…and I am not mad at him…I just think that is it cold hearted and selfish…which I have said to him…glad it is not me.

By SlimOne

July 29, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you

Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? A: When she starts a sentence with ‘A man once told me…’

Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch? A: You don’t - there is a clock on the oven.

Q: Why do men pass gas more than women? A: Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? A: The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.

Q: Why do men die before their wives? A: They want to.

Q: What’s worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A: A woman who won’t do what she’s told.

By Poppa Grande

July 29, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this

Brian

lol…

I remember my dating days and there were some reallyy crazy requests.

I was really left speechless a couple of times.

By Jamoca

July 29, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this

…dayum that trip wire!….you hear that?…oh, that’s just a rat pyssin’ on some cotton…

MyTwo:

She ain’t knocked out yet?…whatchu’ put in those grains, may be coated with a little lemon pepper, huh?

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

cee i’m acting my age. 40 is a huge responsiblity.

what you talkin’ bout mytwo? said like lil arnold. lol. sex?

By ATL Guy

July 29, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

ATL Lady yeah I’m just talking to my friend from the Chi-town in the bookstore and this Old guy just chimes in! I should have told the guy “who asked you?” but of course this old guy got all argumentative and then my friend in Chicago made all these points, the old guy call him a naive fool and thats whats wrong with our new age society because we didn’t agree with the war or how many American lives we’ve lost over there. I mean it got wild QUICK! Out of nowhere…cause this guy wasn’t even involved in our Convo to begin with! He just threw in his 2 cents and fueled the fire

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

…yaaa’ yoo’….yaaa’ yo’…yaaa’ yoo’…yaaa’ yo’.

right now i’m thinkin’ in kiswahili and type’n in its manifest.

She playin. Ain’t foolin nobody over here…

mytwo…Cee says what Sim…..uh, naw i take all my big girl pills even if they do come in a full-body-guave suit.

…please don’t bother me.

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

Although these are all wrong, I like Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

@Beautiful

40 is a huge responsiblity…but I bet you handling it…it ain’t handling you…the 40’s are so way cool…love’em and looking forward to the 48 in September…

By mytwocents

July 29, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

IV Real Welcome to America. It is what it is and yes, at times the patriarchy may work in a woman’s favor (not having to be on the front lines) but overall, we know it really doesn’t. Glass ceiling and all that. In my straw poll, for every vote for Obama cuz he’s Black there was a wouldn’t vote for Clinton cuz she’s a woman.

As for you @12:07 Stop playin’. Are men not more resistant to addressing their health issues? Yeah. Could it be that much of the awareness activities surrounding men’s health issues fall on deaf ears? Might this then make it seem as tho little is being done to address? Would the under-utilization of n-e gov’t - funded n-e-thing not be the justification needed to pull funding, especially when they need no excuse? You know I have trust issues with your statistical data, so show me the charts (not your own Excel spreadsheet) and I will offer my apologies. And…

Birth control is not only prescribed to control births or to women of conventional child bearing age. It’s also prescribed to regulate unusual menstr… uhh help with dysfunctional uteri… well it can minimize ovarian cy… let’s just say there are a plethora of female issues which I’m sure you’d rather stay in the dark about. Also, preventing a birth is not only beneficial to women. It’s beneficial to dude too, ain’t it? Then in the case of the poverty stricken, benefit extends to the society in that there’s not another added to our tally to chip in on.

Insurance may not pay for condoms yet but maybe they’ll be proactive and do so in the future. Gotta be cheaper than treating all these folks living with HIV. But some clinics prob still give ‘em for free. That’s kinda impersonal, tho so if you want I’ll make you a few with the leftover latex & eel skin blend from Cee’s full body suit. k? Cannot guarantee more than -.086% effectiveness.

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

brian you funny! lol.

slim Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None. It should be opened when she brings it. imo, that’s just the tiny way of showing she cares.

m’karyl i thought that i wasn’t ready to turn 40. i did so many stupid things in my 30’s. that was my excuse … i’m 30ish. now, shyt! you can’t get away with doing something lame. you forty mutha futha years old!!! i don’t want to hear that. i TRY to think more first, then act. it gets better every week. i just can’t wait to have sex now that i’m 40. is your sex better?

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

@my2*

But some clinics prob still give ‘em for free. That’s kinda impersonal, tho so if you want I’ll make you a few with the leftover latex & eel skin blend from Cee’s full body suit. k? Cannot guarantee more than -.086% effectiveness.

lol…you need to stop the madness…good post

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

When it comes to bedroom politics ultimatums are grounds for dismissal. “or else…” do not get you anywhere but left alone.

By ATL Guy

July 29, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

Honestly…I wish insurance covered Birth Control so I wouldn’t have to deal with some people in this room. If I met some in person…I would attack them with coat hangers at them and see if I can still technically abort them…

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 3:24 PM | Link to this

Beautiful you have me cracking up over here!

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

atl guy you hard headed!

ARed where you at?

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this

i just can’t wait to have sex now that i’m 40.

LOL Beautiful it’s going to feel the same way it did when you were 39.

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

sexy sorry, i didn’t mean to. lol.

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this

@Beautiful

I think that you learn to make better choices as life mellows you…so of course, most things (including sex) are better because you put more thought into what you are doing and why…better choices…better outcomes…my boundaries are more clarified…therefore,I spend less time wasted than gained with whatever I choose to do…the 40’s rock…just beautiful.

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

The actual sex does not change…but when your psychological and emotional motivations for why you are engaging change…then there is a change…when you are able to be more intuned to a you that has mellow and matured…something about the you feels different…just because you are more intuned to the choices that you make and why…if I knew then what I know now…

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

Yep the same as it did when you were 39 (roflmao) unless you become more openminded and creative to trying new things. It gets a helluva lot better!

By i'm swiss

July 29, 2008 3:37 PM | Link to this

@ATL Guy — Yup, Southern Baptists aren’t exactly subtle. Of course, personally, I don’t trust any religion — I think it all lends itself to doing rather more harm than good — but that’s another story, for another forum.

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

Ok, I’ll add M’Karyl’s response to my openmindedness and creativity!

By Sidelines

July 29, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

Ragi, LOL Beautiful it’s going to feel the same way it did when you were 39.…I can not speak for all women, but the sex does change once you turn 40. I believe it was Demi who said he experienced that the sex w/a 40+ woman simply rocked and he’s right and I’m sure many women in this room will agree that the sex over 40 is off dah’ hook and your needs change as well from when you were in your 30’s. jmho…

But, more to Mkryl’s point, because you put more thought into what you are doing and why…better choices…better outcomes…my boundaries are more clarified…therefore,I spend less time wasted than gained with whatever I choose to do…, she’s absolutely correct and I totally agree!

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

m’karyl as life mellows you my thoughts exactly. when you are able to be more intuned to a you that has mellow and matured ^5 again. i had this feeling it had nothing to do with the act. which makes my question a valid one. thanks girl!

By Demigod33

July 29, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this

m’karyl thanks for clearing that up. Does she go on the internet? Whenever you see her on, introduce her to MIA

Hellllllll to the naw!!!!!

Keep her off this Bish, let’s not corrupt another soul.

Jamoca you need to write a book!!!

C tha 1 If my man hood loses its ability to say up, I will just order myself a specially made strap-on to be use by men…and ladies peep this…With a fully adjustable length and width.

Demi is now looking to test his bland new “Wonder Bar” with Jamoca, Cee, Beautiful, and Foots.

Demigod33 is watching on the sideline eating a cup cake, while Demi is catching a beat down with newly made “Wonder Bar”…from Foots, beautiful, Cee, and Jamoca.

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this

mytwo i ask you not bother that. Can’t do a thing with that eel skin you’ve concocted. n’ better yet…

i had this feeling it had nothing to do with the act.

See B this ^^^ is what i was talkin’ about earlier! your stalk reads different.

By mytwocents

July 29, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this

Beautiful By the time I read, think, post & do whateva in btwn, time flies. Yup, talkin bout 12:15.

Jamoca Lemon Pepper gonna be all over the place…too much evidence. Maybe ask fire starter what flavor he savors before I make the next.

Must we be flame retardant to reflect the light of our sun? Or just receptive to his warmth?

By MsM

July 29, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl & SexyLeggs: Both are correct ^5

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

@ Beautiful

Cool runnin…I think the entire decade has been a good experience…the issues in my life did not change…the bs I deal with did not change…the day-to-day survival/living for the city did not change…I changed within me…something solidified and clicked…

By Who Cares (2)

July 29, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

Beautiful, you must have taken your meds today. You posting nicely. Naw, just kidding. I feel you, just wanted to crack a joke (LOL).

By m'karyl

July 29, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this

ciao!!!

By Jamoca

July 29, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

LMAOFFF @ Demi!…it neva fails, too bad I’m on my way outta here in two shakes…

Hello, my Arian brutha…change in the tones,I hear ya’…and that’s alright, right there…(now thinkin’, whateva hasn’t come to surface yet, will def come out eventually…but that’s on another tip)

…write a book you say?… that one post was equivalent to all those who frequent this forum…awww daaayyyy! not to say if the ability was there that I would not do the same, shyt yeahhh!…so I had to make up for it somehow!LOL!!!

…be glad I do not give dissertations with each and every one of my posts…LOL!!!

btw…that white icin’ lookin’ kinda suspec’ on the corna of ya’ mouf…nah, lick it off!…LOL!

Good day, everybody…she’s outta heeeaaah!

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 4:07 PM | Link to this

That boy made me swallow my gum!

Demi Why B can’t bring her in for some dialogue? you wrong Silly rabbit.

And where is Mo?

By melo

July 29, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

m’karyl im late to the party but that scenario u described is..uh,uh,uh……….

By Raqi

July 29, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this

Everything you all are saying is true. However what you all are describing is just a state of maturing, which has no number. Your ability to rationalize does not just snap into place when you hit a certain age. Life and experience enables maturity.

For me it’s just pretty much not really giving a flip about what others feel or say about what I do and say. The older you get the more forthright you tend to be. This does not happen over night.

I made the decision to want to be more in tune with my body and the height of its pleasure about 5 years ago. I made the decision to learn how to “make love” about 5 years ago. I think my oncoming heighten libido is due to the lowering of stress in my life. Being comfortable with where I am in life has definitely helped me be less stressed. No babies to run behind is also a huge benefit.

There are just several life changes that happen to help relieve your mental state. Not just a number.

We all know a few 40, 50, 60 years olds that have yet to mature and act their age. Just like we know of some under 40 that are very mature for their age.

(And yes I am being difficult again. A little)

By Atl Lady

July 29, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

I’m wondering too Cee. We’re missing a lot of folk in here the last couple of weeks or so. I think a lot of people are trying to get those last minute vacations in before school starts. I know a lot of them are also lurking (looking through a peep hole and waving at us).

By melo

July 29, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

atl guy you hard, Beautiful…..yeah,he’s a young guy,urinating gets him hard…

By Who Cares (2)

July 29, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this

Not difficult just on target. A positive change in one’s life can only help in one’s outlook on things. When I realized I can no longer have children, my sexual stance improved. When my stress level decreased my libido sharpened. Now, just have to find someone to put all this on…(roflmao - NOT)!

By AmazonRed

July 29, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

Did someone call for me? Angie was it you? LOL

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

Atl Lady vacay is the ‘to do’ for summer. i know there are teachers and college students doing there trips before fall. Hmmm you think we can concoct a 3 day real quick?

The ‘Lurker’s Perch’ is a favorite pastime round these parts. hehehe

i’m better off makin’ a few folks act a fool.

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

mytwo If you still can’t drop say whatcha sayin or drop a heavy enough hint, get some of those spice dice or whateva they’re called and let em speak for ya. that’s the prob, i had no glue. none. he gave no hints and i mentioned earlier that i don’t read minds. it’s a lesson learned.

aaaaaaalvinnnnnnnn said like on the chipmunks you so bad. lol. MIA might be good for her.

melo that’s not what i said. lmao.

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

July 29, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

Afternoon All! Take a few days off work and its hell coming back to work!

I have been lurking most of the day, sorting emails and trying to get some work out of the way. That along with trying to get Lil Mo ready for school, uniforms and all. I cant remember who said it since I have been speed reading most of the day, but I am sure lots of folks are getting those last minute days in for vacation/school registration.

I should be back in full swing tomorrow.

By abc

July 29, 2008 4:30 PM | Link to this

ATL_Guy, goes to show what can happen is you speak foolishness loudly enough in a public place. I probably don’t disagree with what your friend’s position was, but if it’s a loud enough conversation in a public place, it’s not a private conversation.

As far as religion/violence/etc. goes, I’m fine with God, it’s most Christians I can’t stand. That goes double for Southern Baptists, buncha holier-than-thou hypocrites. Triple for prosperity theologians.

They just elected Johnny Hunt up at Woodstock 1st Baptist the President of the Southern Baptist Convention. Hm hm hm. That about says it all, if you know anything about that roller.

By melo

July 29, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

I made the decision to learn how to “make love” about 5 years ago what does that mean….4 u.what acts do u do to be making luv?

By melo

July 29, 2008 4:32 PM | Link to this

earthqke in LA

By mytwocents

July 29, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this

Cee Bother what? All innocence right here. Seem like you the one said she provokin’ foolishness and been speaking in uhhm kiswahili was it? Hmmph

By AmazonRed

July 29, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this

earthqke in LA

It was nothing. Angelinos don’t blink an eye til you get over 6.0.

By melo

July 29, 2008 4:43 PM | Link to this

good sex and some good fiyah’ head trust he will get it elsewhere uh,uh,uh..had to get a cold glass of water,sorry,just doing a re-cap….

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 4:44 PM | Link to this

raqi i’ve been hearing that quote for two years now and it stuck in my head. when i learn of a female blogger being 40+, i have to ask. m’karyl’s make the most sense so far.

truth can you send my dating 101 lesson daily to angeliquegeorgia@yahoo.com? lol. you’ll be missed!

By melo

July 29, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

beautiful.why not answer my qs,what did he want…..?sent me an email…

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

melo i’m not answering your question you freaky thing you! lmao. i’m not being responsible for the dirty walls in your office. ewwww. lol.

By Extra-Crispy Foots

July 29, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

Hey everyone! Just popping in, on vacation last week and needed to catch up on a few things at work. Hopefully, I can blog more tomorrow. Have a good evening!

By Demigod33

July 29, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

Cee you know once ole girl get on here she is going to make dude life unbearable, d’ain’t cool!!

Beautiful girl stay in your lane…Dont make me stick Demi and his “Wonder Bar” on you, LOL…I am tried of women coming on here looking for help…I be like, Seek Jesus!!

By Who Cares (2)

July 29, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

Good night everyone!!

Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly. (Unknown)

Even on GMA this morning they were telling people to STAY FOCUS AND WATCH THOSE AROUND YOU!

By SexyLeggs

July 29, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

Forgot to change my moniker back (LOL).

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 5:04 PM | Link to this

Giraffe ‘n Female Panda goes to Africa and giraffe needed get the Panda aquainted to the new atmosphere. hmmmph…? later for that.

I think that was the story i read. I’m still observing as this is my keen gift.

Ya’ll be easy.

By Beautiful

July 29, 2008 5:05 PM | Link to this

alvin you just proved why she needs to seek MIA … give him h3ll!

By Cemeeli

July 29, 2008 5:06 PM | Link to this

Demi Jesus Saves!!

lol…you keep it safe out there okay.

bye!

By Jamoca

July 29, 2008 5:11 PM | Link to this

@ MyTwo/Cee…(ya’ girl could not resist)

…‘Tella has just confirmed the fishy aroma that has been in the air for many days now…just get a wiff of this stankonia, right here…Lmao!!!

I just luvv it when I’m right, dammit, I’m guuuddd!

Aighttt….she out for good (at least for the time being…

Night people(s)!