Misadventures in Atlanta

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 8:34 AM | Link to this

happy monday wise!

mood this morning celebrating my singlehood. while the girls and i were out this sat. shopping, i was approached by a very nice gentleman. as we were leaving jamba juice, he asked if he could call me. that evening when he called, i had to tell him that i was not interested in dating ANYONE at this moment. i apologized and told him if it was ok, i will contact him sometime in the near future.

i realized at that very second i seen his number come through that a man does not fit in my life right now. i have a demanding new job, i’m a full-time student, work out at the gym everyday, spending quality time this summer with kel, and bonding again with my close friends. maybe next time. feeling pretty good. anyhoo …

on topic there’s no love out there better than a black man’s love.

brb.

By SlimOne

July 28, 2008 8:45 AM | Link to this

Morning BlogsTown

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone.

Beautiful, it would have been kinder if you simply told him that upfront. You should have declined his number. By you saying…and told him if it was ok, i will contact him sometime in the near future hope you know he immediately put your number in garbage.

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

sup slim!

sexy that would be fine with me. :-)

By M'Karyl

July 28, 2008 8:56 AM | Link to this

Growing up I had three groups of social acquaintances-one was primarily white, one latino and the other black…what I noticed then was how each group had different criteria for being attracted to or involved with someone…for example, my latina friends were more interested in men who were older than them by at least 3 years becuse they believed that women matured faster than men, so a guy in closer to their own age was deemed too immature…my black friends tended to be more concerned with physical appearance…he had to be (insert snap) fine as all hey-ale…whereas my white friends just dated around the group of acquaintances…and as far as my own experience goes…I have found that white men are far less intimidated by my intelligence than black men seem to be…it is less of an issue…black men seem far more attracted to my phyiscal appearance as a priority of how they perceive me as a person…and latino men vary greatly in terms of how they deal with me (depends more on where they are from and what they are into)…I do think that there are some very significant differences within groups of ppl by racial/ethnic collective identities…expectations, interactions, intentions, comfort zones…

By SlimOne

July 28, 2008 8:58 AM | Link to this

SexyL I was thinking the same thing…why take the number in the first place…

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 9:00 AM | Link to this

“…making too much money thereby making her less appealing to men of more modest means”

Something quite similar to this came up in conversation during this past weekend road trip with some friends.

It seems to be a unanimous declaration among the men that it’s not the money or success of a woman that makes her less attractive. But it’s when a woman’s attitude and demeanor toward and about men becomes complacent, particularly fueled by their (our) misconception of the value of said accomplishments.

As Dr. Doc so kindly put it, the attitude of one strutting holding one’s nut sack in arrogance when the sack itself does not exist.

Rell stated it best IMO last week. The majority of the cauc(asian) sector celebrate marriage and togetherness while the majority of the black American nation scorns it. Working in a large group of both you hear the attitude in the conversation. With “most” black Americans words such as dread and misery always tend to surface when you hear of someone considering taking the step into coupling. And most of the disdain for the union is self inflicted.

By M'Karyl

July 28, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this

Well Beautiful…at least now you know where the boundary is for dating…maybe it was not until you had the chance to think about the opportunity that the answer was known…it happens…and I am sure that he will encounter another just the same…like trains and buses…another opportunity to catch one is coming along…

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 9:02 AM | Link to this

slim the long ride home got me to thinking …

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this

on topic there’s no love out there better than a black man’s love.

Beautiful rather than post the comment I originally thought to, please describe a “black man’s love” that makes it better than aaaallll the others.

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

M’Karyl black men seem far more attracted to my phyiscal appearance as a priority of how they perceive me as a person…

yes. this goes all the way back to high school.

raqi the first thing that comes to mind is his rhythm and soulfulness. just my opinion.

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this

Happy Monday everyone. I had an absolutely fantastic weekend here in Atlanta and I hope the rest of you did as well. This is a great city, I hope we’re all making the most of each moment!

As for the topic, it’s not a stretch to thing that WiseDiva and Blanca share similar dating adventures and misadventure. One thing about modern society is that it’s now more about class than race. I hear many in my social circle who are black could not relate to some of the issues in the special. While they know it exists, you don’t deal with it firsthand. Race isn’t the divider, it’s social class and economics it seems.

By Dan

July 28, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this

For me its not about your accomplishments, I’m actually proud of you for them, it’s how you carry it.

What bothers me most about people, in general is this attitude that becuase you have achieved success it somehow makes you “more”. It’s like being proud for graduating the 8th grade. You’re supposed to graduate.

I interact with a lot of successful women and how they carry it speaks more to the person, than the accomplishments.

By SlimOne

July 28, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

I’ve never dated anyone outside of my race. However, I’ve been approached by white men before. They seem to be more so intrigued with me being small. I guess stereotypically, they are attracted to more petite chicks. So i guess they get to the black experience and petiteness all in one. But i’ve never wanted to be someone’s experiment.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

July 28, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this

Good morning blogsville! Kind of a slow start this morning. I’m lurking and waiting for things to heat up. Where are Truth, For Real, Blue Kolla and SJ3000? I’m sure they’ll have some interesting thoughts about this topic like sex = love and love = sex :).

By M'Karyl

July 28, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this

@Raqi

It is funny how we overlook the tacit psychological and emotional aspects of a relationship…where a certain something is just understood based on a commonly shared existence within a group…for example, I was dating this white guy and no matter how I articulated certain feelings or thoughts about an experiences impact on me in someway (usaually dealing with race), he did not get why it was significant to me…on the other hand, I could describe the same experience to a brother and he inherently understood what I meant by it and why it had a impact…so, I have found that there is a certain comfort of knowing that I do get from a balck man’s love…something I do not have to define or over articulate to have it understood…it is different…

By QC...zzzz

July 28, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers, have a great day!

By abc

July 28, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

I’m not that impressed with the ‘Black in America’ programs. In portraying experiential difficulties of being so, the programs fail to directly address that most of the causes are from within the African American community itself, not from any external influence.

I don’t expect that dating outside your race is, in general terms, different for anyone, regardless what their own race is. Being surrounded by people of only one race is to lack exposure and perspective of the world around you, again regardless what your race is.

To submit or ask ‘what white people think’, ‘what black people think’, etc., simply serves to propagate myths, and the myths obscure not only the reality of the here-and-now, but also the path to a better future.

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this

MKaryl Just because someone can’t relate better in a particular area does not make the love that they present to you better. You may as well be saying a woman can love you better than a man being that she is able to relate to more sides of your person and character. Good love is good love no matter the race to race factor.

Although he turned out to be deception, I was very fulfilled with whitebread’s love toward me at the time we were together. I didn’t feel that there was anything missing because he was of a different race. He gave me what I needed at the time.

Mason gives me what I need now and it has nothing to do with him being black. I am not in love with his blackness and I am in love with his person. His heart and mind. The way he deals and treats me. His outlook on life in general. And his outlook has nothing to do with him being of color.

By Blanca

July 28, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone! Wise - what a thought-provoking topic. I have a strong, diverse group of female friends and have come to believe we all face many of the same issues, regardless of race. Even though I was raised in a very homogenous white town, I’ve never felt pressure to stay within my race both in friends and dating partners. And especially as I’ve spent the last eight years in cities, I like dating the rainbow and crave the different cultural perspectives I’ve gained by doing so.

As far as success and wealth…I’ve actually had some past boyfriends who wanted me to leave journalism to make more money. But for now, I’m pursuing my dream, not theirs…(Another blog topic for another day perhaps?)

I’ll meditate on this topic throughout today, but for now, back to work! Happy Monday!

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

Glad you enjoyed your weekend ARed. Mine was very quiet. I needed to chill so I did. Had a semi-date, but nothing was confirmed and it had slipped his mind. That’s what happens when you’re very busy. No big harm, but a little foul (LOL).

I’ve never dated outside my race, but I have to agree with the premise of M’Karyl’s post. Also, your post reminded me of something LLCoolJ said years ago. He and his wife have withstood the test of time because they come from the same place, the same time. They understand each other without having to say much!

By C tha 1

July 28, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this

I don’t know what type of men most women date … honestly its not a concern of mine. But I do grow tired of the perception given off by some black women that their counterparts are intimidated by their intelligence. Personally, I don’t have time to compare level(s) of education and degrees, its pointless and a date shouldn’t be another competition I have to put my game face on to win.

Unfortunately, some women wear their profession, education, and/or success on their sleaves. In some cases that’s cool, but in some ways it simply is uncalled for. Maybe its just me, but whenever I encounter a professional woman outside of a professional environment I’ll intentionally do something silly to take the professional tone out of my voice in hopes that it does the same for her. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but a date shouldn’t sound particularly like an interview for a job although in some ways it is.

Nevertheless, in regards to the Black in America piece where the single woman illiminated someone on line because he spelled whose with a z, that was simply nit picky and in some ways petty. Having command of the english language is one thing, but to be scrutinized for mispelling in a non academic arena is a matter of taking semantics too far.

All in all, I’m not intimidated by any woman’s intellect, actually its refreshing and down right sexy … when used properly. But when a woman wields her degrees and overall success like a sword and combines that with the shield of her biting wit, then there is a problem. In short, some successful black women are plain ole extra bougie. Fall back a little.

By Endless Romantic

July 28, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this

Good Morning!!! I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. As far dating outside of my race, I’ve never done that. I’ve thought about it here and there, but I’ve never been able to bring myself to do so. I love everything about a black man… They’re the only ones who can give me that funny feeling inside. I find men of other races attractive, but I’m never physically attracted to them. Hopefully that makes sense…

By Dan

July 28, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

I often get “Barack O’[Dan]” because I seek out friends and coworkers of different races.

We have thought changing conversations about a number of topics. And when my Black friends hear some of what is said, they are struck sometimes that I don’t react badly to certain statements.

I’ve dated outside my race, but as I think about my future, I want to marry within my race..

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

C tha 1 - Very good post.

By lurker

July 28, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

not on topic but need to air to get off my chest. tryna get over someone, was doing well. believe it was him that drove by my house from the description given and the subsequent call, listen to my voice and hang up after seeing said person prior days before. why can’t people just leave well enough alone? wanna move on but that took me back a step. damn damn damn!

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

Endless Romantic I find men of other races attractive, but I’m never physically attracted to them

it makes perfect sense. for example, anderson cooper. very attractive but i can’t get down like that.

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

Angie - I disagree with the other ladies. Sometimes you don’t know how you feel about your situation til after the number is given. I’m glad you were honest with him.

I met this guy last week. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him at the time, and when he called, I answered as I was driving and asked if I could call him back. Well, he didn’t give me the chance and has now called five times. He won’t be getting a return call at this point. Too thirsty!

By Dan

July 28, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

C tha 1 ^^^!

I was writing something similar and it got eaten.

I think my point to add would be that as a high functioning woman, why carry that same achievement orientation into a relationship. After work is the time to chill, let it go and relax. Why turn that into another opportunity to achieve (this time in searching for the “right” man?)

As I left Thursday, there was a discussion of settling, and while I don’t want to rehash anything, why can’t we just get along..?

By Deeva4Life

July 28, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

C tha 1 great post!!!

I personally have never dated outside my race and truthfully I’ve never had a desire to. That could be because I’ve never really been approached by someone of a different race that striked my fancy…well there was this Italian who was super phine, seemed very nice and geninune, but he was only in town for the weekend…does he count??? LOL Either way, I think it’s simply about the individual and what works for them. As Raqi stated, good love is good love regardless what race it comes from…and ultimately that’s what we’re all aspiring to gain.

By Endless Romantic

July 28, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

Beautiful, that is an excellent is example… When I was a fly attendant for AirTran, most of the pilots were young and handsome, but that was it. I couldn’t imagine getting down with them like that. So that confirmed how I feel. I enjoyed your post earlier about celebrating your singlehood…

By Rell

July 28, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

I have found that white men are far less intimidated by my intelligence than black men seem to be

MKAY THAT WAS A STOOPID STATEMENT..have you ever meet me?…i am sure i could match you very well in the intelligence dept…

now i have dated outside of my race but never had a relationship outside….nothing long term anyway…and it was still all the same when it came to emotional maturity….one common thread amoung women is that most are very shelfish and jealous….two things i thought would leave once you hit motherhood or adulthood..but i guess not….i had one women tell me once that if your not a jealous man then your not passionate about your mate?….wtf

@kp…why not just post your thoughts fam…why do you need to post all the disclaimers before you post….did you not get enought attention yesterday at sunday service?

By Wise Diva

July 28, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone! Great comments already this morning! :) M’Karyl, really good points, thanks for sharing that.

Hey Blanca!, thanks for weighing in, I hoped you would be able to give your thoughts since I singled you out a little, so thank you

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 28, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Okay help me out here..but I personally don’t think the “acceptance” of dating outside of your race has a whole lot of support in the black community. While I have never dated outside of my race I have considered doing it..and would not be opposed to it in the least. I don’t think that if a black man dates and marries a white woman he loves black women any less(at least I would hope not)..(granted there is the faction on black males who carry that banner of white women are better at _____) but I digress.

In the black community there is still a “US against Them” mentality and the idea for someone to marry or lord forbid have children outside of the “race” is seen as a act of high treason in some cases.

For example at the National Black Arts fest this weekend…I observed quite a few interracial couples..I also observed the stares, and eye rolls too the couples got be they black man and white woman or black woman and white man. Like Raqi pointed out there was a serious lack of support for the union of two people.

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

Ctha1 One of the men this weekend was saying that he steered clear of the woman that introduced themselves as:

“Hi, my name is Ms. Alpha Kappa Alpha and I live at I Attended a Prestigious College Lane, and my favorite pastime is my six figure salary and tooting my own horn.”

LOL He said he would always follow such useless info with “so how does it take to boil a pot of air?”

By ATL Guy

July 28, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

Ladies sending a few mixed messages by giving the number out then either saying you’re not interested or hesitate to reach him back. Its almost like buyer’s remorse with a car. At the time seemed perfect, couple days later, start second guessing.

Off Topic Have any of you been to Tokyo before. I just turned 26 and thinking about possibly working out there. Sure its a culture shock, but I’m going for the Career move and to get great experience. If you’ve been out to Tokyo, let me know some advise pls. I understand Japanese customs & speak a bit…but this would be a major culture shock coming from Atlanta

By Wise Diva

July 28, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

oh dear lurker, I have been there before. It sucks really bad too. My line of defense was distractions: hanging out with guy friends, reading books NOT related to romance, or taking up a new hobby (I highly recommend belly dancing class!) You really have to put in a lot effort to reach the out of sight/out of mind phase but you WILL get there with a little time :)

By i'm swiss

July 28, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

I’m a big proponent of inter-racial relationships. Not necessarily just dating — everyone has their own preferences there and, of course, there’s nothing wrong with that. But I do think the world would be a much better place if we all made an effort to forge more friendships with people of other races — not just passing acquaintances, but really get to know each other.

It’s not easy, I know. It’s very easy for all of us to segregate ourselves along racial, cultural or class lines. But it’s much harder to harbor ill feelings toward an entire group of people when you actually care about individuals belonging to that group.

I grew up in a very rural, very racist small town in NW Georgia. I saw my share of racism from the outside looking in — some of my own relatives are about as racist as they come. I always knew that what I was seeing was wrong in a moral sense. But now that I’ve had a chance to escape the backwoods & makes friends of all different races/cultures, date women of all races/cultures & now to be engaged to a black women, it’s become more than just an issue of moral right & wrong. Now when I see things, I see not just the stupidity & injustice of it, but I see the hurt it causes the person I love most in the world. And I think that’s probably the closest I can ever come to really understanding.

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this

ARed you know that decision i made took me by surprise. since i’ve been home, i’m more focused on my goals and found out this w/e i simply don’t have the time or want to make time.

endless thanks! this is new to me. but so far … no regrets.

By IslandGirl

July 28, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

Morning All,

I’m back from vacation and really don’t feel like getting back into the groove of things. Every time I visit St. Thomas I am reminded to appreciate the simplicities of life.

I did not watch the “Black in America” program on Saturday evening. I prefer to date black men, but will not rule out the opportunity to meet a great guy of a different race. When I first moved to Atlanta I exchanged phone numbers with a Caucasian guy. We communicated for about a week and had planned to go on a date, but that never came to fruition. I lost interest in him because he spoke a lot about drinking and the way he and his friends partied. I decided I would have a hard time appreciating that type of lifestyle. However what I liked about him was his confidence.

C tha 1 great post! I think women (and men too) that wear their success on their sleeves are very insecure individuals. . I have a close friend like that and I truly believe she is insecure about her outer beauty. Every industry she has tried her hand at has turn into gold for her, but she force feeds her success on everyone.

Raqi I agree with your post in regards to marriage. It puts to mind a conversation I had over dinner with a friend on Saturday. We talked about the statistics of African American women contracting AIDs. He made a comment that African Americans are so afraid of taking a chance or risk at marriage, but seem to not be afraid of taking a chance or risk at having unprotected sex and/or casual sex. How true is this? Why is it in our culture we have such a high disdain for marriage?

On yesterday Bishop preached about several important things regarding marriage and family. One aspect I found interest in is the fall of a nation. In order to tear down a nation you must first destroy families since families create tribes; and tribes create a nation.

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

…And I think that’s probably the closest I can ever come to really understanding. That’s the best start I can think of right now. Congrats on your engagement and congrats on not letting your family and your upbringing ruin your soul!

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

i’m swiss friends are one thing, but dating and marriage … i’d rather stay in my race.

waving to QC!

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

July 28, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

Rell, I’m busy working on my myspace page and blog. I’m watching and hustling at the same time!

By melo

July 28, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

it makes perfect sense. for example, anderson cooper. he is gay anyway…… that white men are far less intimidated by my intelligence than black men seem to be why do black wmen do this…blowing their trumpet shamelesly like that,i have a degree and masters and a house,so i need a man who can step up..blah blah blah… Its not about that!!!!!!! On topic: i prefer to date in my race coz when u date outside,there is to much cultural compromise anyway,which is not really healthy for a relationship.A lot of times women who date outside do it for money anyway,so they dont mind being slaved coz they get the living standards and money they craving for, no real love there.. I have seen black guys(not ball playas) who date white girls,why do they always pick the big,round girls who seem to have health issues…is that a coincidence……. ?

By shell

July 28, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

I agree with the idea that as black people we are more concern with physical appearance. That being said, I am all for dating across racial lines. As a black woman I feel it is more important to find a ‘good’ quality man period, no matter what race. Since I’ve open my dating choices, I found dating a lot easier. Sometimes as black women we put up with a lot from black men because we believe he may be the last ‘good’ one. I am taking a break from dating, but if the cute blonde guy in my grad school asks me out I’m saying yes!

By Atl Lady

July 28, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Good morning

Cthat1 Excellent post. That reminds me of something Debbie Allen said years ago that I completely agreed with. ‘When I’m out in the work place or world, I can’t afford to be less than my best. I’m battling with execs, co-workers, and others to make it for me and my family. I have to be tougher, stronger, better. I have to take the negative hits, tough and sometimes foul talk and give it right back. When I get home, I want to be the woman and let him be the man. He’s my protection and security blanket. I’m going to let him handle it and I want him to. If I can’t relax around you, then I feel like I’m still working.’

Kym I think it depends on where you grew up at. I asked my mom that question and she gave me the look, but she said that she just wanted me to be happy.

Atl GuyMy brother lived in Japan for two years. I’ll get some pointers from him or give you his information with his permission.

By lurker

July 28, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

Wisey thanks. tried distractions. will have to try harder.

By C tha 1

July 28, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

I’d also like to say that I could care less if a black woman dates a white man … trust me I got bigger issues to deal with. For those who feel slighted whenever they see an interracial couple need to get over that because Jesus already wept.

It amazes me to see people limit themselves. This weekend I was watching an old Boondocks DVD where Uncle Ruckus was preaching All yall *(&)as now you got at least ten black folk you can’t stand!! Sad but true. And in the case of black women half of that ten are some dudes you dated in your past. At the end of the day if a man can treat you good, make you feel good about yourself, and you’re attracted to him on top of all that then why deny yourself that type of happiness.

I do believe most women (regardless of race) perception about love is misinformed. This is in part due to their parents influece (mostly their mothers) and to much damn television. Too many of you all try to make your love life something straight out of T.V. where the drama is all about you and the dude is simply a co-star accompanied by other co-stars.

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Melo, you look at the big round girls who seem to have health issues. Now, turn your eyes back to the dude. He usually has missing teeth and out of shape as well.

Love is love, we all have our preference, but when love finds you, color shouldn’t matter. Love reaches one soul for the endurance. It’s not a one dimensional emotion.

By Blanca

July 28, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

Lurker Forgive me if I misunderstood, but the guy drove by your house after you broke up? Sounds a little stalker-ish to me. Don’t slip up - sounds like you’re doing the right thing by moving ahead without him!

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this

lurker the only remedy is time.

By C tha 1

July 28, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Let me make it perfectly clear, that if a black woman decides to trade in for something new it doesn’t mean she is trading in for something better. I think some brothas get this confused when they think about dating outside of their race.

By ATL Guy

July 28, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

ATL-Lady That would be really helpful! Tokyo move is strictly career move. I know only a few people in Yokohama & Tokyo, but I’m a very driven person. Understand doing business in Japan is lots of work, crowded trains, & tiny apt.

But, I’m so young, I’m thinking why not take the chance and get the experience. Everyone I know that lived over there really liked it. I’ll be over to make money for a few years. Thing I fear, is the isolation more than anything. Apart from that…I’m golden

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

melo - What part of Africa are you from?

By SlimOne

July 28, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

Island I was just discussing with a buddy this morning what Bishop was talking about Sunday about families, marriage, & kids.

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

So melo you only date African women?

By Cemeeli

July 28, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

Good morning…

Stuck…thinking…How have you not ever seen an episode of FAME!?

Stuck…thinking..What intrigues KP so much about 2, Real, Blue, Truth and SJ?

Stuck…thinking…What did I miss? WiseDiva having to use a disclaimer today? Okay…oh, yea the subject circled back to race.*

sigh

…..finally! stuck…thinking, How am I thinking the same as melo?

Insert my thought here. I prefer to date in my race, when you date outside there is too much cultural compromise anyway which is not fit for healthy relationship, IMO. Same race is relevant as far as specific social culture and more specifically the ideals I ascribe to.

2) My opinion on a black man dating outside of his race; I have never been the type to judge on that subject. Hellz it really ain’t none of my business.

By IslandGirl

July 28, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

Slim did you enjoy the sermon? I think he was dead on about some of the issues we face and was very supportive of Black men doing better for their families.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

July 28, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

The more women place themselves in a box as it relates to dating relationships, the more disappointment will be experienced. Right now the african-american male community is in a state of transition. Part of this transition requires the purging of ill-equipped black men for marriage and relationships. As with all cycles, things must go through a state of demise before they can be rebuilt. However, during this transition period progress must still be made. We cannot realistically expect african-american women to stand on the sidelines while we (black men) go through the purging process in order to get ‘right’. Once we (black men) realize that we have to step-up our level of responsibility and contribution, we can then become beneficiaries of the love that awaits us by way of the black woman. However, in the meantime, black women should explore all avenues of love. God cannot be placed in a box. Would you prefer to remain unmarried? Or would you prefer to connect with an individual incapable of leading your household? Are you going to avoid dating Brad because he’s white and endure the frustration of Leroy because he’s black? Something to think about!

However…in my brothers defense, women must also be willing to live up to a level of responsibility and make decisions based on things that matter (not money, not jobs, not power, etc.).

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

By the way Raqi, I loved your 9:39 and I agree.

By Atl Lady

July 28, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

Atl GuyA former co-worker that went a couple of years ago showed me pictures and I was amazed at the lack of green space. It truly is a concrete jungle. Nonetheless, I hope you do well there if you leave us for a little while. No more blog fights???

By Poppa Grande

July 28, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

Kym

In the black community there is still a “US against Them” mentality and the idea for someone to marry or lord forbid have children outside of the “race” is seen as a act of high treason in some cases.

This isn’t just a black community thing. I’ve been around enough Jewish friends to have heard their families desire for their son’s to marry “a nice jewish girl”. Also, wasn’t there just a trial where an Asian man had his black daughter in law killed. I’m not saying that we don’t do it, but its not isolated to us.

C tha 1 Your post was on point, and pretty much summed my position. I remember my dating days. It appears that some things haven’t changed.

IMO degrees are just receipts for your time and money. They don’t really measure your intelligence. The only thing that they prove to me is that you followed something through its completion. You can go to the library and gain the same thing for free.

As far as the special goes, it seems that it wasn’t balanced. There are more good things about being “Black in America” than they discussed. It had a doom and gloom feel to it. I think that it may have been good intentioned, but it turn out to be a typical negative telecast like the “if it bleeds it leads” mentality of news.

By lurker

July 28, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

Blanca bad ending, recent run-in. he tried to talk but i spoke and kept walking. think that was a guilt drive by more than rehookup. nevertheless, wasn’t good for me emotionally.

Beautiful yes, in time. just hurry up already, you know?

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

Black Coffee….no sugart, no cream!

yeah, this is 2008, but I still cain’t see me dating outside of my race…

what baffles me though, is how white women are doing their damndest to look like black women….with all the implants, tanning, and all that…..

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

poppa spike lee made a good point. he said it’s ok to show the negative things about blacks on tv, but show a balance. show the positives things too. someone said last week … show the single mom getting her degree, working full-time and leading a household.

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli you bring a thought to mind. I think cultural differences from being raised in different countries would have a huge impact on a relationship.

As I see it now, different races mixed within a country share a general cultural base. North Americans share a general connection. Whether you are Black, Red, White or Yellow being born and raised in the same country on the same general premise makes for easier mixed relations.

This is where my differences are. A dark skinned man raised in Africa is not the same as a black man to me. A light skinned man raised in the Europe or Asia is not the same as a white man here in America. The gender roles and allowances of other countries make more of a difference to me than the difference in skin color all being of America.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 28, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

Okay call me naive..but are there women out there who when they meet a man the first thing they talking about is their job, college, or sorority? I mean surely that can not be the inital convo? It always puzzles me when men say they want a woman that is educated..but not too educated. They want a woman that is strong..but not too strong. If we appear vulnerable we are weak, if we don’t cry we are too strong. Seriously everyone has to have a balance..or should at least strive for balance. No person can be one wayy all the time.

By Dan

July 28, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

I know that the special talked about the negative of “Being Black”, mainly because the other parts of our culture are emulated, regurgitated, reconstituted, and repackaged for mass consumption.

And has been since the days of the “King” (BB, not the biting white boy)!!

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

You can go to the library and gain the same thing for free.

Poppa and as my brother says, anybody can go online and get a “degree” these days.

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

lurker it’s been four years for me, but today i see the end of the road. just hold on girl! it’ll come.

By abc

July 28, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

よい厄介払い

By SlimOne

July 28, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

IG I definitely agreed with what he said, especially when he discussed the raising of our kids and the fact that a broken foundation..aka broken home w/o the fathers around lead to Desperate Daughters and Grown Boys not Grown men for sons.

By ATL Guy

July 28, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

ATL Lady we will see what happens with this transition. Exactly, concrete jungle is right. I know an American that was out there who planted grass on her apartment deck just to remind her of the United States. It needs to be the right move to take such a leap of faith and leave my current existance and lifestyle as I know it.

No more blog fights!? Haha. I’m a blog lover not a figher! Unless, someone needs a reality check of course…

By abc

July 28, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

To cite a single mother working, going to school and leading a household as a positive illustration or example is a very sad commentary on African American culture. Laudable for one to pick themselves up and focus on what it takes to turn things around, but a positive example? I don’t think so.

However, I agree with the point: there’s not a lot of success portrayed on the “Black in America” programs. There’s some; not a lot. Is that a reflection of the community as a whole? Maybe so.

Perhaps if there were more positive examples, they’d get enough exposure to suit Spike. Perhaps the reason so many negative examples are displayed is because so many negative examples exist.

By ATL Guy

July 28, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

Kym I have thought the exact same thing! I will meet people and its like all I hear is about their careers or their current projects. Typically, I get asked right away “what do you do??” I work for an International Technology Company, so people get facinated, but when its the Weekend…I REALLY DON’T want to talk about work.

For many, believe work defines who they are.

ABC I’m about to have some lunch…Itadakimas!

By THE DIABOLICAL DK

July 28, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

C TO THA Excellent post

Swiss I’m glad you see certain issues for yourself because people seem to think the issues dont exist..

Now on Message.. Love who love you.. Its important.. Money and all that can come and go.. Degrees have nothing to do with affairs of the heart.. Ladies a man doesnt care about what you do or how you got there.. He only cares if you make him feel good when he’s around you.. You can work at waffle house as long as you bring him hash browns smothered covered and chunked he’s cool.. Or if he can come home and know that you have his best interest at heart he will knock down any wall put before him for you.. He will do anything for you if he’s happy..

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

@Raqi

I do not disagree with your post…as always you have some excellent and valid post…and believe me, it can work from another perspective…of course it is and always should be the “person” to whom we are attracted that matters…but, I have found that the love of a brother is something I can only get from a brother…be it as my pops…my siblings…my uncles…my grands…etc…that allows me to receive a certain unspoken understanding that may not always be there with someone who does not share that part of a collective experience…and I never really thought about it until I got into the “big, bad real world” when I moved to the ATL,and suddenly my race and gender identity became a more prevalent part of my experiences…I can not say that Black men offer the only love that is good for a Black woman…but there is something about it that is different from others…it just is…maybe because I am a daddy’s girl…and until this day he is my numero uno Black man…pops is the jam…I grew up spoiled by a Black man’s love…it is not exclusive, just different…

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

Kym my brother and I talk a good bit and from what he says I think it’s the attitude of “I’m all that just because I have (all the stuff you named)”. There is a misconception that it is those attributes that snag the man. And from what I hear it isn’t. While I feel most men want to know that the woman they wed or commit to is a willing and able contributor they desire respect and appreciation over all else. And having a degree and making mega bucks does not initiate the ability to show respect and appreciation.

By Dan

July 28, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

@Kym

The sisters that are referred to are the ones that, within the first three minutes, has listed her scholastic and employment related accomplishments.

And again, while impressive, that’s not something you lead with in a conversation. It appears to be more of a challenge than an opportunity to connect.

By melo

July 28, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

Raqi,Ared i wldnt date outside seriously,a curiousity fling,i can consider…… as to ur qs ared,i never answer that with a str8 face on the blog,i give hints coz i got stuff(skeletons) to protect…….but iam african to the core…….

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

Okay…look like the discussion is slowing a bit. Time for a WEEKEND ROUND-UP! What’d y’all do?

Anyone go to the Boyz II Men/Morris Day and the Time concert at Chastain on Friday?

By Wise Diva

July 28, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

whoa, C tha 1 and Diabolical DK outstanding comments from you guys! taking notes

and DK is that really you? you sounded wonderfully pro-love just then LOL!

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 28, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

I’m not saying that we don’t do it, but its not isolated to us.

PoppaG I didnt say that it was isolated to us..I am not Jewish or White so I can’t speak on their experiences. I did watch a special on PBS about the interfaith marriages of Hindu and Sikhs(sp) and one of the ways they are dealing with the marriages and religious difference at least these two families were they had two weddings…one in Hindi and one in Sankirt..both faiths customs were represented and they seem to celebrate the union of their two faiths.

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

@Rell

There was othing stupid about the statement…I am found that in general conversations, I can sit and chit chat at a bar with white men and we just carry on a conversation…whereas brothers have to constantly comment and critic my articulated intelligence…and often times they find it necessary to be caustic and derogatory…period…I just analyze the interaction…period.

By melo

July 28, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

oh raqi,african ameriacan females are not that bad,some are knwleagable on african stuff so the divide is not that great.It depends on their knowldge and fascination with africa.Others are dwn right ignorant…they have never been outside their metro areas, so u leave those alone……

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

melo - I understand. You can’t even drop the name of the country tho? LOL. I’m not asking for the tribe or anything. :-P LOL

No biggie though, I was just curious.

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

abc that is your opinion. the negative of that example would be single mom sitting on couch, prego with twins by a diff man, not working, poor attitude, didn’t graduate high school, no goals, etc.

By Regular

July 28, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Met this chic at Haristons on friday,sweet gal with cape verde island background,FROM SNELLVILE..lost her cell,plz call me.

By BLOW ME u BIZZIES

July 28, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All

I did not realize Blanca was white. I guess I was not pressed to know her racial background…

But I do agree with you Ared…I think it’s about social class as well. I mean don’t get me wrong there is also a difference in between white men and black men. There are bad apples in each bunch. Although me personally I could never date outside of my race..I love the whole make up and DNA of a black man and thats what I am most comfortable with. However, I did get to watch a few of the B.I.A. episodes (LOL bia!!) But again, it’s the social class. Some of it was my life but a lot of it was not. I guess in my eyes the average black family is doing pretty decent. Or at least the ones I associate myself with. I guess it’s true…my mother use to tell me association brings on similation. So to me they had a lot of affluent blacks as well as some from the gutter. My problem is KNOW how to want better…or at least try to get better….working with RED Kool aid color braids will always have you destiny for IHOP or Burger King. Sorry just a random rant…some of the most COONERY $hit I seen over the weekend.

By melo

July 28, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

ARED,SA

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

MKayrl (this is an example of me being just down right difficult)

Let’s just assume for today that Tommy Davison is a momma’s boy in the same aspect as you just described. Would it be correct to say that he can only get the love he needs from a white woman? Or could a black woman present it just the same? Being that he is a black man.

(This is me being difficult)

By Poppa Grande

July 28, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

Raqi

Exactly, we used to talk about in our dorms all of the time. In college, you end up teaching yourself for the most part. I was lucky to have a tutor, if needed, since I was part of the football team. The first educational words of advice given to me on campus were as follows: ” They are called professors in college, not teachers. They get paid whether you learn or not. You have to do the work. They (or TAs) are there to help but its on you.”

BTW, if I remember correctly, Bill Gates was a Harvard dropout. I think that he has done ok.

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

@Rell

BTW…No, I have never met you and I do doubt that you would be that type of person with anyone…period…you are mor refined than that…I do not mean that it is all black men, there just seems to be a prevalent behavior pattern…I have dealt with this most of my life, even as far back as high school…so I am a friggin’ gifted intellectual…and, pass the hootie and fill my glass with another shot…where the cards is so we can play some Spades.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 28, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

Do women of other races ever worry about making too much money, thereby making her less appealing to men of more modest means? I can’t speak for other women but I sure as hell don’t! That just means a guy would need to step his game up before stepping to me. I think a woman should set herself up first to be independent and happy without a man. That way if a man comes along he would just enhance her life…not become her life. People can say money is not everything..but let’s face it…being financially stable sure takes a lot of the stress off of what is already hard enough, trying to maintain a healthy relationship. Marriages break up over money, infidelity, and lack of communication all the time. Why not take one problem out of the equation. If a woman established herself beforehand she is now in the position to be more selective of the mate she chooses to be with instead of being in a position of settling for any dude who smiles at her. A stable woman is a little better off then the single mom with 4 kids barely making it. Strangely, though I am not the submitting type…I am more likely to lay back on things more for a man who is business minded and has his finances together than I would for a man who does not. Not that I repsect one more than the other…but I respect one’ decisions and actions more.

Beautiful there’s no love out there better than a black man’s love. I can not agree..to me the better love it the man who respects you and treats you best….despite his color! Love has no color…but people try to make it have one.

M’Kayrl black men seem far more attracted to my phyiscal appearance as a priority of how they perceive me as a person… Girl you hit the nail on the head! I notice that too. Not saying that the guys of other races weren’t attracted to me physically, but it did not seem like that was all they were after. They actually took time to talk to me, hang out with me and learn about me. I always feel when I meet a Black guy they are salivating and thinking of all the things they could do wiht me in bed and its a turn off. Guys of other races tend to be more reserved on this..even if they are thinking it. There is nothing more that turns me off is a horn dog acting like they have never seen a woman before.

Sexyleggs Ummm,what is a semi-date? LOL

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

I am very adament about stearing clear of “what do you do, how do you make money” type questions when meeting someone. Mostly because I hate explaining what I do. They always ask me for tickets. LOL. But also because it really doesn’t matter, at least initially. It’s just conversation.

The couple times I did speed dating at M3, guys would comment about how I was one of the few women that didn’t lead the conversation with the money questions. I found that really interesting.

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

melo So you only dated women with at least a general knowledge base of African culture?

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

@Raqi

This is me being difficult…lol…not really, I just think that the concept is something outside of your very profound worldview of experiences…it is just not something you think about and it should not have to be…there is just a “je ne sais quoi” factor that is more an intangible understanding or feeling that is different…it is not a positive or a negative, nor is it an absolute…it is just different…and again not exclusive…

By Rell

July 28, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

@mkay….you sound like you hate black men..and the white man is better..again my sister they can have you…because your lost anyway!!!

By abc

July 28, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

IMHO, Beautiful, a really good example would be grown children of a solid Christian family, married and bringing up their own children in the church; absent any notion of being at a disadvantage due to any aspect of their demographic; with financial, emotional and spiritual blessings that allow them to pursue what captivates their minds, hearts and souls. In short, a successful and fulfilling life, absent self-inflicted hardship.

Single parenthood is the result if irresponsibility on all sides. I am personally representative of that, and I feel I know of what I speak. Overcoming such irresponsibility is absolutely the thing to do, but one can’t claim that it’s a good example, any more than a reformed convicted criminal is a good example. Comparison to even worse examples does not a good example make.

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

IMHO, Beautiful, a really good example would be grown children of a solid Christian family, married and bringing up their own children in the church; absent any notion of being at a disadvantage due to any aspect of their demographic; with financial, emotional and spiritual blessings that allow them to pursue what captivates their minds, hearts and souls. In short, a successful and fulfilling life, absent self-inflicted hardship.

abc - Not only would that be a good example, it would be a common one too!

By Atl Lady

July 28, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

Staceye^5 two times. The only men I know that have a problem with women that make more money are the ones whose identity is tied up in their socio-economic stature.

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

Staceye semi-date is when he asked to take me out to dinner or if I would prefer cooking at home. Said I would be leaning toward cooking at home. He agreed to buy the groceries. Last convo on the topic. Come to find out he had a lot on his plate this weekend and forgot. He apologized to me last night! Yes, I know him well enough to cook for him.

By Rell

July 28, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

I

always feel when I meet a Black guy they are salivating and thinking of all the things they could do wiht me in bed and its a turn off. Guys of other races tend to be more reserved on this..even if they are thinking it.

staceye staceye staceye…come on hun…now you are my favorite…and i know you smartier than that…there is no way you can justify your statement…you are easy on the eyes but you gave me no illict thoughts just from looking at some of your suggestive photos…i thought wow she can take a picture….lets come off the whole notion that ALL BLACK MEN cant control themselves…..i mean what does that say for the hot benchs lay up with these men…..you guys are killing with the white is right ish…..smh

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

abc the first example is my reality and many others. so yes, it’s a positive view of Blacks in America.

atl lady why is it when you’re shopping you don’t get hungry until the moola is gone? happens everytime.

By Chocolatte'

July 28, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

I’ve never considered dating outside the black race< never hit on by other races either. A few ooks and stares of interest but nothing more. Recently, I did have someone of the other persuasion to hint around the issue. He asked my opinion of him and if I thought he was good dating material. Needless to say, I nodded and smiled but didn’t really comment.

The other issue at hand. Isn’t it tacky to do a run-down of your credentials at any time during any type of conversation other than job hunting/interview? Your educational background and accomplishments is for you and your stepping stone. If you are degreed and accomplished, would that not naturally shine through?

By ATL Guy

July 28, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

Why do we place so much emphasis on Race!? I meet people from my own race from completely different backgrounds than myself. Its just a matter of being open and noticing the value of who that person is…look past the race

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

@Rell

Chill out arse…I just noted some differences in how different groups of men react to me as a woman…I did not write the rules…we as a ppl (black folks) tend to put too much emphasis on certain attributes (the lack of or presence of ) as a criteria for how we deal with each other…just because a brother may not be as well articulated as a I am does not make him inferior to me as a person…but so many seem to assume that it does and then they react that way to me…go figure…

By For Real

July 28, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

What up Fam!!!

I’ve dated outside of my race and it doesn’t matter people. Women are irrational creatures. The same thing black women complain about *”putting up with” men is the samething white, asian, and spanish women complain about. If you sat a black, white, asian and spanish dude down and ask them to speak about women. They ALL will complain about the samething.

KP Come bruh, I get really tired of people always giving black women a pass as if their ish don’t stank too. Do you believe God took those people thru the wilderness just to weed out the men too? For the record if man is going thru a transition then everyone will be going thru a transition. Come bruh stop the pandering to the ladies. They need to accept responsibility for their actions and choices. Try asking some of these females why daddy ain’t around. Why haven’t you had your tubes tide after the second baby by a different dude? Why haven’t you had your tubes tide after the 3rd baby by a different dude?

RESPONSIBILITY TAKE IT’S YOURS

Let get something str8 concerning degrees. A degree does not in no shape or form indicate how intelligent a person is or isn’t.

Second the definition of intelligence is MK: THE ABILITY TO LEARN!!!! So explain how one be scarred of your ability to learn.

Third, Knowledge is what you decided to keep in your head. It doesn’t equate intelligence. Thus, since all of us have varying backgrounds, then what we choose to keep in our heads is relative.

Raqi gets the post of the day Good Love is Good Love Most people will never understand that because they don’t even know what Love is that’s why they can’t find it.

By melo

July 28, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

Raqi,no..but the thing is u get 2 diff responses when u tell smebody u from africa…dwn right ignorance and stereotypical atitde or a knwlegdeable person who is openn minded…so u listen and take it from there based on the convo u having….and it goes both ways incl myself understanding their cultural angle as well…..

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

@Rell

Baby chill out…we love doll…XOXOOXO…whatever statements that are being made are not being made about ALL BLACK MEN, just types of behaviors some brothers have that is all…hey-ale, every group can be categorized from outside the group by others or from inside the group by themselves…I read and have read several comments about certain types of black women and I ain’t taking it personally…these type of sisters so exist…I ain’t one of them…so I ain’t hollering like a hit dog.

By Wise Diva

July 28, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

geez Amazon, you couldn’t make it until noon? LOL. Everyone does not have the schedule that allows them to rapidly post comments on the blog, I used to though :( I barely keep up myself and I am trying to read and digest the great comments :)

anyway to answer your off topic questions, LOL (it’s after 12 right?) I was busy all weekend: I went to the My Black is Beautiful event, it was fantastic and very organized. I swooned over Hill Harper (bought his book) and Ryan Gentles. There were great panel discussions and workshops, oh and I think I found a female personal trainer! Then Susan L. Taylor of Essence magazine gave a wonderful keynote address. The entire day was empowering and inspiring.

I managed to squeeze in a date with a new guy, he is a total science and technology geek, and I am crushing very hard right now, LOL.

Oh and I went to a co-ed baby shower, which was lots of fun. I think all baby showers should be co-ed. It was a busy, but fun filled weekend for me, but I had a ball!

By BLOW ME u BIZZIES

July 28, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

I am with ABC some of the B.I.A was off base. Some was on point..

*Rell/Staceye * Yeah don’t’ get it twisted… Those white men are BIGGER freaks than the black ones are. The FIRST thing want to know how it is to be with a Blk woman. White men are not sexually aggressive as blk men are. But believe me….They are thinking the same thing…How does that chocolate honeybun feel on his …well you get the point. lol…DOn’t sleep they are just more conniving and sneaky with theirs and the blk men are a bit more straight to the point. TOMATO TOMATOE….same ole game.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 28, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

Poppa We were just talking about that this morning…saying that college is not for everyone and that maybe highschools and middle schools need to bring back career days but do it right. There are many any demand jobs that require only 18months of education..for example..phlebomtist(sp)..pharmacy techs..and morticians(recession proof job if every there was one.)So a career does not always have to involve a 4 year degree.

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

for real sounds good!

By Atl Lady

July 28, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

BeautifulAs former vice-president of the big girls club (Southeast Chapter), we always schedule the eating part after a partiular stop. That way you can refuel as well as take inventory. That’s how it turns into an all-day thing. Do you remember that painting by Annie Lee of the sistah strung out across the sofa with boxes and bags everywhere? That’s me around 7:00pm after I’ve been out shopping since 8:00am.

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

the first example is my reality and many others. so yes, it’s a positive view of Blacks in America.

Angie - A positive example should be what you’d want others to strive for. I know you wouldn’t change a thing about your life, however, would you recommend that route to others?

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

Isn’t it tacky to do a run-down of your credentials at any time during any type of conversation other than job hunting/interview?

True…but I found that to be par for the course when I lived in the ATL…pple seemed to have this need to validate themselves by listing their pseudo-pedigrees of distinction”…insecurity issues…

@For Real

I find that some ppl are very insecure about their own intelligence and that they are easily intimidated by others who are able to convey a well articulated sense of intelligence…I have never really been able to wrap my head around that one…never…and I have listened to it all my life from one such sort or another…go figure.

By melo

July 28, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

It wld be nice if 2 pple from diff races dated and that wld be the end of it.The problem cmes when u have to include family in the mix,thats when u start seeing all sorts of complications.If we all did stuff without truly caring about what our luved family members thoght,everything wld be really nice and dandy.But man is not an island,we do have societal pressures,family pressures etc.Heck, we even decide to marry smetimes because that is the acceptable standard in our society,family etc. Thats when dating outside becomes challenging..and maybe a non starter becoz our loved ones views have to be factored in as well…Any marriage that is devoid of family support is usually not healthy,meaning there are fights,disagrements,whispers etc lurking in the background…. ……

By BLOW ME u BIZZIES

July 28, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

Beautiful Shopping is an appetite depressant. I never think about it when I am on my shopping days until my budget for shopping runs out or the mall closes! lol!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 28, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

Blow Me Coonery???? LMAO now that is too funny! I had the reaction of when I first heard the word f*ckery! LOL…CLASSIC!

Sexyleggs now you know if you let dude in your crib he is going to think you are giving him the groping green light! LOL Please remind him that he will get cut! LOL

Rell I thank you bruh…you are one of the few. I just think Black men (not all) tend to be more physical and filterlessly :-) open and up front about it! It annoys me. Self control is the biggest turn on!

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

Everyone does not have the schedule that allows them to rapidly post comments on the blog

WiseDiva - Duh! LOL. It was 11:30, close enough. Didn’t want to lose the lunch crowd. LOL

I loves me some Hill Harper too! His brain is so sexy.

Keep us posted on the new crush! Hopefully he’ll be the end of your misadventures!!!

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 12:18 PM | Link to this

need to bring back career days but do it right

yes, pleeeeeze! my friend’s results told her to be a nun. wtf.

By Willie Dynamite

July 28, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

Afternoon all,

On Topic- Never dated per se` outside of my race. Had a few non black jump-offs but nothing more than that. I dont have a problem with it just never had a problem with Black Women. I’ve had everything I could possibly imagine with black women so its not an issue to me. I also have friends that are in IR marriages and relationships so thats not a biggie to me also. I say whatever makes you happy, other than that its none of my bizness.

New Topic- I have a friend girl that one would call a successful black woman. She has the here is my run down whats yours mentality. When I introduce her to other friends I say this is _ she is a (sorority), she has 3 degrees, she makes X amt a yr and she drives this. Oh yeah shes a biatch and doesnt have a man. Now find something else to talk with her about, good luck. This usually breaks the ice with her and once all that is out of the way she’s a decent conversation.

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

“However, I agree with the point: there’s not a lot of success portrayed on the “Black in America” programs. There’s some; not a lot. Is that a reflection of the community as a whole? Maybe so. Perhaps if there were more positive examples, they’d get enough exposure to suit Spike. Perhaps the reason so many negative examples are displayed is because so many negative examples exist.”

Dude, you really kill me….Because that’s all they choose to show, is not a reflection of the community as a whole! And I’ll say it till the cows come home, a white person will NEVER know what it’s like to be black in america….damn sho not a middle aged white person!

By The Truth

July 28, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

Good morning blogsville. I truly hope everyone is doing well.

On topic, love is not black and white for me. It’s black. There’s nothing I need that I can’t find in a sista. Nothing.( Not that there’s anything wrong with other races) And at night, when we climb in bed I’m comforted in a way that only someone that has experienced what I have experienced can provide. A good sista is like putting on your favorite jeans and t shirt. She just fits so well.

The real challenge is for men of color to step up. We have dropped off to the point of this thing being embarassing. We all need to up our game. There is so much better out there for us if we just forge ahead.

Admittedly our sista’s are making alot of mistakes out there but it’s because they’re doing things that are outside their scope. They’re doing our jobs.

Atl Guy GO GO GO. Whether you go or not one day you’ll sit on a porch as an old man and the only thing that will matter is the experiences you’ve enjoyed along the road. The 2 years will come and go but the experience will be with you for a lifetime. If you go get outside of the normal tourist spots. Meet the locals, visit the countryside. Isolation is a mental choice. Don’t choose it.

I won’t be blogging regular anymore but I will be lurking and will pop in from time to time to crack azz. I’m getting my mojo back after experiencing some major body blows and have to tighten up the ship. I have really enjoyed blogging/fighting/laughing with you and hope you all get everything you want in life.

Oh yeah, that wasn’t my black in america special. My black in america special will be written, starred in, edited, and lived all by me. I’m writing my own script. I have always bucked the odds and have every intention of doing so in the future. Just like I won’t let a slave from 300 years ago define my life neither will some newsman do so with a 4 hour special.

Special chest tap to some of my bloggers that have taught me a thing or 2, made me laugh, or allowed me to see things in another light. As long as we’re learning we’re living. To stop learning is to die.

By For Real

July 28, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

MK I think you are confusing intelligents with knowledge. How do you convey your ability to learn (“Intelligence”) to another person in a bar? As far as articulate is concern, that is relative. Would you sacrifice communication for the sake of being what you precive to be articulate?

By Poppa Grande

July 28, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

Kym

No harm intended, but I wanted it out there as well.

Utlimately, it follows the thought that as humans we all want similar things.

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

Melo, I agree w/you on your last sentence.

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

Melo, I agree w/you on your last sentence.

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

Hey Truth. Welcome back and happy belated birthday.

You’ve done your swan song on here before, but I hope you kick us to the curb for good. You’ll be missed tho! You’re opinion is one of my favorites to read, even if I can’t stand what you are saying. LOL. Godspeed!

By Rell

July 28, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

@for real

Come bruh stop the pandering to the ladies. i agree but it is rampant in the black church for some reason

@mkay..i am not tight about it..i just smh…like you so smart but yet dumb on some things…you pretty and dudes cant see beyond that…i call bs on your attention wh ore ways…come on lady…so what you look good….AND….you can throw a rock in atlanta in hit 15 attractive women…you read like a women that is attention starved..

By Dan

July 28, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this

Did Truth just give a retirement speech?

If so, vaya con Dios, mi amigo

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

Truth, are you telling us you got a job? Don’t you hate when that happens….I know I do;

By BLOW ME u BIZZIES

July 28, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

Truth A good sista is like putting on your favorite jeans and t shirt. She just fits so well.

That was so sweet..I think I have a tear in my eyes. That whole post was classic and just beautiful… Oh yeah come back to smack some a* too! lol! You’ve been missed. More importantly I will no longer have anyone to fight with.

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 12:29 PM | Link to this

atl lady no, never saw it. but i can picture you exhausted as i was. googling it now.

ARed no, of course i wouldn’t. but if you are dealt with the hand as i, do what is expected of you = something positive, moving forward. i could have easily became the 2nd example by not working hard to get back where i belong.

blow the brain is amazing, isn’t it?

By Atl Lady

July 28, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this

Truth I’m so glad to came to fellowship with us today!! I was getting worried about you. Are you ok?

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

Truth, this is your second vacation away from the blog since I’ve been posting. Wish you the best in life. Love the fact that you’re focus and you know what you need to do and will not tip toe around your obligations. Great getting to know you. THUMPING CHEST, TARZAN GO IN PEACE!!!

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

July 28, 2008 12:32 PM | Link to this

For Real, I agree with you. However, we cannot deny the transitional state of black men. We were once mainstays in the household, but now we are being challenged to go to another level. Women were once content being homemakers, but have now accepted the challenge of contributing in the workforce. Now it’s time for the black men to answer the challenge of adversity by way of his brain and not his male member. There are still positive brothers who are available, but like we’ve said in the past…many of them won’t get an opportunity because they don’t fit the ‘mold’. We all have work to do, but it seems to be the season of purging for black men.

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed we took a road trip with some friends to do the one thing my husbands hates the most. Gambling. I like the casinos. My po’ baby was miserable for an entire day. But he has to take one for the marriage every now and then. Heck we both do.

Actually he had a nice thick T-bone for dinner that evening. Oh and I won more than I spent. That made him happy.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 28, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

Wise although I am taller than Hill Harper and so not into short dudes…but he is SEXY! Cute in the face and more importantly INTELLIGENT! A brainy man is more of a turn on that a big muscle man. I could talk to him for hours about so many things. I also feel I could learn from him which gives me butterflies! LOL

Blow I know and agree with everything you said about the black/white men. But I prefer the ones who aren’t so obvious about it! Agressiveness is a turn off to me…unless it is about business! In that case….it’s a turn on!

Blow me You are right about shopping. When I am shopping…I do not think of food and when my belly growls I ignore it! I shop to avoid gaining weight! Oh and to make me feel GREAT! LOL

**You leaving us Truth? Now I gotta fight with you for old time sake! LOL

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

Sorry, that was meant as a compliment although it may have come across as a backhanded slap. Not my intent!

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

@Rell

I am not attentioned starved…I have to turn dow 2,3,4, sometimes 5 ops a day with a no thank you…I just could not care less about how I am perceived by some types of men…and if they can not get pass their own insecurities then they are not going to step on me…

@For Real

I am not confusing anything…I quite thoroughly understand the difference…again, I am speaking about what I listen to be said not what I think or feel…again, I could not care less…if ppl have insecurity issues then let them have them…that is what it all boils down to anyway…

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

no, of course i wouldn’t. but if you are dealt with the hand as i, do what is expected of you = something positive, moving forward. i could have easily became the 2nd example by not working hard to get back where i belong.

Angie - We get it. You’re woman, hear you roar. The point is not about you tho, even if it pertains to you. abc and I were looking for a BETTER example, because they exist, especially since it was presented in such a forum where it was seen by so many people.

Even if you don’t personally agree, I hope you see the point.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 28, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this

Happy belated New Year(Birthday) Truth!! My Fellow Cancer moonchild. Sounds like you are doing some internal modifications..(Tolle) I love it. Well you will be missed by me my brother…ohh and do you know someone stole my Tolle book.. I turned my house upside down so my sister must have taken it. Oh well she may have needed it more than I.

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

@For Real

BTW, I really do not have a problem communicating with ppl on any level…bars, bus stops, grocery stores, walking down the street…my average day consists of me probably encountering and talking to a very diverse group of ppl…from the homeless to the CEO…the convos range in the type and texture of content, but it is all about getting a one on one groove of communication with whomever the audience may be…some ppl can roll with,others can not…it never doawns on me to contextualize a person’s intelligence or how it is articulated…we all have base needs, capacities and abilities as human beings…everyone of us…the flavors are just mixed differently.

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

I’m liking the weekend round ups! Sounds like you guys had some exciting things going on. Thank you for sharing SexyLeggs, WiseDiva and Raqi!

By Cemeeli

July 28, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

our loved ones views have to be factored in as well…

As a mother of a black male…how would it work bringing in a man that does not ‘look like’ or relates culturally to my son to be a head over his life?

Credential 1 - Do you understand i have kid? Yes, he’s black cause i’m black. Is that something you can handle? no? okay bye.

In my case this dating outside of race is narrowed down b/c i am selfless with that i have a child. I solely consider him when and who i date.

By ATL Guy

July 28, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

TheTruth I’ve always said that also…my greatest fear in life is to look back when I’m old and not have the experiences or live just a basic life. I’m not going to care at that point of the cool cars I’ve had or how much money I had…its going to be the people in my life and the memories that will be cherished.

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

ARed i see the point, but we are talking about CNN not showing anything positive. i don’t know why abc brought up the perfect family. my post was not about that. when they showed a single mom, they showed the negative side of a black single mom. in other words, they just focused on the neg. i didn’t see me in that program anywhere!

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

KP ‘mold’? Please elab on what that might look like.

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

In my case this dating outside of race is narrowed down b/c i am selfless with that i have a child. I solely consider him when and who i date.

Cemeeli - If you solely consider him, then you must consider that he deserves to see a man love his mother with all that he has. A non-black man is equipped to love you the way you deserve to be loved and could be the person that shows your son how to treat a woman.

I’m not saying that you should date outside your race, but just consider what he could be missing out on without any male influence in his house.

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this

@@ATL Guy**

This is the one and only opportunity that you have to live this life…the experiences that you have are what make the fabric of your life…you are young, well-rounded, and able to make choices that can enhance the quality of your life…do it and whatever else gives you the opportunity…its going to be the people in my life and the memories that will be cherished…yes indeed it will.

By The Truth

July 28, 2008 12:55 PM | Link to this

2C no job but just turning the corner mentally. This economy has really wreaked havoc on my plans and I have to patch a few holes myself. I can handle losing a job but I lost an industry. Anyway, bidness doesn’t stop for anyone. LOL

Thanks for the well wishes everyone and yes I’m ok. Just picking myself up from off the canvas.

Ok Staceye one last fight before I go. I’ll start it. You are a…great woman. LOL I don’t even have that kind of fight in me. Take care and leave the broad, sweeping, negative men generalizations alone. Smooches

If anyone needs to contact me hit me at atlred01@yahoo.com.

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this

@ Beautiful

I did not see myself either…but I did see some of the faces and voices of the Black experience…not all of them, but some…the single father with 3 kids who was facing eviction by circumstances beyond his control…the young sister who was, what? 19 when she found out she was HIV positive…the young black man who is trying to have a positive influence on the youth who are Rap Star obssessed…many faces, many voices…none of them me…nor my daughter…but the experience of some Black ppl just the same…we are many faces, many voices and many experiences…the special just touched on a few…did anyone go on line and read any of the post…though I saw SAMIAM and ny2atl on there…

By blackgirl

July 28, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

Cemelli, I have two black daughters. I never considered the race of the man I date, just the quality of the man. I would rather my children see him as a good man, regardless of race. My daughters loved my white boyfriend. He was kind, made a point to include them in our outings and always asked me about them. Now, the last guy I dated(who was black) never once asked about my kids and wanted to ask like they never existed. We only last three months.

Our children need to learn just because some one is the same color as you doesn’t mean they have your best interest at heart. I learned to judge people on a case by case basis. Jerks come in all colors, that’s what I’m teaching my girls

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

July 28, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

Raqi, The mold can take various shapes. Some women’s mold for a man includes white-collar job, drive a nice car, have a nice home, etc. Others may prefer athletes, entertainers or doctor’s. Others may prefer 6’2”, dark skinned, athletic build, etc.

‘The mold’ is in the eye of the beholder.

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this

Exactly what is the “Black Experience”?

By IslandGirl

July 28, 2008 1:07 PM | Link to this

Ared I also attended the Black is Beautiful event. It was great meeting so many beautiful women, networking, and enjoying the live performances. I stepped out of my box and auditioned for a Pantene magazine ad and got a call back. So wish me luck.

I want to see the Color Purple before it ends this weekend. Has anyone seen the performance at the Fox?

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 28, 2008 1:07 PM | Link to this

Did anyone read the article about the couple from the show the color purple? It was on the front page of the living section. I thought it was really cute. The woman plays Sofia..and the guy plays Harpo in the play and they also see each other off stage. Nice article ajc.

By Beautiful

July 28, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

have a good rest of the day y’all!

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 1:14 PM | Link to this

@IslandGirl

I stepped out of my box and auditioned for a Pantene magazine ad and got a call back.

Now that was truly a Black and Beautiful experience…best of luck to you with that…I hope that it inspired you to step out of your box more often…

By IslandGirl

July 28, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

blackgirl ^5 on the post.

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

KP That doesn’t make any sense.

You said “…many of them won’t get an opportunity because they don’t fit the ‘mold’.” as if there is a standard design for every woman that a man has to fall in that black men are missing.

Then you turn around and say the mold is various preferences.

A man cannot be all things to every woman. You have to get in where in fit in. The opportunities are there for a lot of men. You all, just like we do, have to be true to who we are and to whose mold we fit to.

By Rell

July 28, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this

ok everyone mkay is FINE….she says so….lol

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this

@Rell

No sugah…I am down right beautiful…period…look just like my momma and my grandmomma, my daughter looks just like me…and we are all beautiful Black women…period.

By IslandGirl

July 28, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

m’karyl thank you. I was nervous but it was a fun experience.

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

I think that mold is just a laundry list of criteria that are applied to a person of interest…either they fit the mold, i.e. they match the criteria or they don’t fit the mold…and of course we do not choose whether or not we fit someone else’s mold…it is their criteria, not ours…ppl have the mold that they are looking for as to what is a good fit…and it is random…it changes based upon what any given person requires, desires, etc.

By Cemeeli

July 28, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

I attended “The Color Purple” muscial lastnight. It was great despite ppl not realizing that if you have floor sets you should be on time for the start of the production. What’s so hard about being on time? Other than that great show and good singing.

ARed No, i do soley consider him when i date, not if. Having it be a black man is something i prefer. Not knocking any other ethnicity to date, really. Just stating my “preference” over my child.

Blackgirl…I never considered the race of the man I date. i have too he’s a black male that he will face that other race men will not. & Our children need to learn just because some one is the same color as you doesn’t mean they have your best interest at heart. My son already knows this. Has nothing to do with dating or not dating someone out of his race.

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

@Cemeeli

In the end game, you will have to make the decisions that you believe are best for you and your son…and yes, if I was the mother of a black male child, then I would prefer that certain influences in his life be from other Black men…you will and you always have chosen what is best…

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this

abc Did you ever travel on the Holland America line?

Tazzee???

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this

No sugah…I am down right beautiful…period…

M’Karyl - I see you sister. You tell em.

By Page1908

July 28, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this

For me, growing up in Los Angeles and San Diego, then living in Phoenix for 3 years, interracial relationships were and still are common to see. Being bi-racial myself, it’s never been an issue or concern to date outside of my race.

Ok, what is the new topic, lol.

By Cemeeli

July 28, 2008 1:45 PM | Link to this

m’karyl thanks.

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

@AmazonRed

Uh-huh…some ppl seem to think that being physically attractive is the end all, be all to life…we do not choose our genetic makeup…we choose who we are as ppl…so someone is not unattractive, so what???? So someone is…we are human beings…we have feelings, thoughts, fears, courage, intelligence…we breathe…I am a human experience in existence.

By Tazzee

July 28, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

Raqi Never been on that line - I’ve done Carnival, Royal Caribbean and Norwegian. I was going to ask if you booked that trip yet.

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

Off topic: One the ladies I work with has stated that she is certain that her husband is having an affair. Or at least is getting ready to do so. She is bases the thought on the fact that he dyed his hair and whiskers this weekend.

I would say that is a good indication. Especially when she asked him why he did he said just because.

I agree with her sentiment of if she has not had a issue of cuddling with and looking at those grey hairs for the past few years, why the sudden change? Who else matters other than her?

Men, why would a guy decide to need to look younger (more attractive, maybe/maybe not) for no reason? He not trying to get a new job or anything like that. Whatcha say???

By Rell

July 28, 2008 1:56 PM | Link to this

@mkaryl….you crazy for real…boo hoo you so attractive its your prison….lol…but you dont want or like attention….LMAO

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 28, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

Raqi My understanding is that Holland America is for the older jet setters..to quote Neal Boortz’s The blue hairs…but check out the Cruise Divafor more info.

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 1:59 PM | Link to this

So then MKaryl its really not a mold. If varying preferences are in play the only molded attribute would be being a male.

Therefore all men apply.

KP what do you say?

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

Has he changed the way he treats her…does he pay her less attention…is he more preoccupied than usual…I would look at changes in his behavior first…maybe he just got tired of looking at himself as a grey head…someitmes I look in the mirror and see so much grey that even I think about dyeing my hair…I mean one day, I just said wow…lots of grey…but again, I would look at changes in his behaviors towards her.

By abc

July 28, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

Raqi, Holland America is nice, less party-til-you-drop and more relaxation, few children and almost no twenty-somethings — not many thirty-somethings either. I like their newer ships, excellent staff and service, a more formal atmosphere that I find appealing.

Beautiful, that single motherhood is prevalent in African American culture does not make it a positive. It is the result of negative things. Yes, it can be made worse by further irresponsibility. You wish to emphatically state that course correction is a good example, well, sure, fine; it beats some alternatives, that’s for sure.

2CPTG, look man, I’ve grown weary of your presumption and closed-mindedness; don’t pin labels on me based on your own presumption.

Crimes are portrayed on the news as they occur. It matters not if the TV news station(s) are operated by predominately white or black people. In local papers including AJC, white crime is all over the headlines — it’s not as if black crime is all that gets play. It’s not as if bad press is all the African American community gets, either — look in the Style, Living, Business sections of the paper and take note of African American success stories.

Roles are portrayed in film as they are promoted within the culture. The program even went so far as to state that it was white recording executives that propagated the hip-hop myths within that genre, only to be corrected by a hip-hop artist — it’s both.

As far as ALL of that goes, stop watching so much dayum TV anyway. Films are works of fiction. It’s no different from chicks thinking ‘Sex and the City’ represents anything resembling reality. Stop being a cultural victim. Who gives a dayum what some film or TV show has to say about things? Who cares what Spike Lee thinks? It’s what you think that matters to you. Think for yourself. If you want to see more positive role models, then be one. As one gentleman stated in “Black in America”: “If not me, then who?”

By lurker

July 28, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

Raqi he accepted a compliment from an admirer.

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

@Rell

I do not have a problem with it…I like the person that I am…and I get plenty of attention…I have lots of good friends (mostly men) and at my age I could not care less…you obviously have some issues today…and so what?!?!??! At the end of the day, I do not need to see your arse and that is a blessing.

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this

*@Raqi

Again, I think the term mold is used as a descriptive…oh, I met this guy but he did not fit the mold (i.e the laundry list of criteria a person specifies as essential qualities)…it is only a mold for the person who has the list…some ppl’s mold is a pattern of behavior…a look…and anyone who does not meet that criteria is not considered an option because they do not fit the mold…again, it is arbitary, not absolute…

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this

you obviously have some issues today…and so what?!?!??! At the end of the day, I do not need to see your arse and that is a blessing.

LOL M’Karyl.

Rell - Your attitude does stink lately. Everything okay?

By Dan

July 28, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

I had a friend tell me, just last night that he would hope to have tall children. When asked by our dinner companion “why?”, he answered that he felt that being tall made life easier for him.

As a matter of course, M’K couldn’t relate to any other existence, none of us can. You’re given your keys to life at birth, and have to figure out how to drive the car.

But whether handsome or beautiful, tall, short, skinny, or big. What matters most is not how society views you, but your view of yourself reflected by those that know you.

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

@abc

There are and always have been positive examples within the AA community…one thing that I like about the Virgian-Pilot is that it really strives to represent all aspects of the community and the ppl who live in it…I have read so many great and positive articles about the AA community and others as well that are profiled…they have a great free publication called Mix that covers the multicultural community of Hampton Roads…and yes, we do not have to accept what we see portrayed as the only thing there is…my experience as an AA woman did not include the stereotypical associations that the limited images seen in the mass media would allow us to believe are representative of who we are…and yes, fiction is fiction.

By Rell

July 28, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this

@mkarl…women with mostly or alot of male friends are classic attention wh ores….

By Sidelines

July 28, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

Truth, I wanted to say God Speed in your life travels, I have enjoyed and will miss reading you.

On topic, Hello everyone…Ctha, I’ll have to agree with everyone else, your early morning post was very much on point and I’ll have to agree with you and I believe that was tDiabDK as well.

On topic, it’s interesting that this would be the topic today. I saw the most beautiful interracial couple (wht man/blk wmn) this weekend out with their son. They looked as if they had just come from church and were picking up a few things from the grocery store. And, I too noticed the look of others stares at them. I stepped up to the check out line and the guy looked at me as if he was a bit uncomfortable with the stares of other people and wondering if I was going to just ‘stare’ as well…I walked up to them both and said “I just wanted to say that you two make a lovely couple and you have a beautiful family”…not that they even needed any approval, but it was an overall geniune admiration and a couple of the girls at the register agreed as well. And, the guy looked and just smiled. His wife said “Thank you so much”…now I say all of this to say, color really don’t matter. I’m not sure who said it earlier, I believe Ctha…love who loves you.

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

Tazzee we are trying to decide between Holland and Princess now. We have eliminated all the others.

abc A more mature crowd is preferred.

Kym (see my comments above)

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this

@Dan

But whether handsome or beautiful, tall, short, skinny, or big. What matters most is not how society views you, but your view of yourself reflected by those that know you.

Exactly, and I was just commenting on some of those experiences…and those comments do not reflect the end all be all of my life or who I am…I was speaking about an objective perception and interaction…observations…but on the other side, I was the ugly duckling growing up-the fat nerd girl…hardly considered attractive…life dealt me that hand and I played it…I learned to value me as human being…when the weight was gone and a more physically attractive person was perceived by others…then I had to learn to dismiss the bull and still value me as a human being…personally, I think that it is inhumane to treat a person based upon how we perceive their physical appearance…I lived both sides and it is dehumanizing to be objectified and devalued or valued by appearance alone.

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

July 28, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this

Raqi, preferences should have been the term I used instead of mold.

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this

“2CPTG, look man, I’ve grown weary of your presumption and closed-mindedness; don’t pin labels on me based on your own presumption.”

closed-mindedness??? why, because as I say again….white folks will NEVER know what it’s like to be black!!! You can spout all the rhetoric, and scientific studies you want, still, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW!!! I’m not trying to argue with you, ‘cause it would be pointless, cause I know who/what I am…..it just peeves the shyt outta me to hear y’all spit the dumbshyt that y’all do…..and as far as me watching too much t.v., ha!!! T.V. is hardly my source of information….tell that shyt to one of these bloggers whose apprehensive to tell you that you know NOTHING about us!

By Poppa Grande

July 28, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this

Raqi

I hope that she has more than that.

Sometimes we want changes as well, hence the porverbial “mid-life crisis”. Maybe he just picked dying his hair over purchasing a sportscar.

In reality, I recently made a similar change. I cut my beard and mustache totally off. I look like a darn kid. I got carded this weekend at Tower on Piedmont when I got a freaking lottery ticket for my mom.

I was on vacation last week in LA. Oddly enough, it the first time that I ever really spent signifcant time in California other than in LAX for a layover for Asia or something. I see why you Californians love it here. The prices for things were a bit more out there.

We spent time at the movie studios. We have couple of friends that write for a reality show called from Gs to Gents. We hung our with them one evening. She laughed when I told her that I had never heard of it.

Also, I had my first in and out burger. Not bad. It is at least more original that those Krystal wannabes called White Castle that I had in Harlem…lol j/k

I reflected for second and realized that I’d been all around the world but hadn’t been to LA. So, I guess that I can scratch that off my list.

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this

MKaryl I understand your “mold” comments. However, for a man to state that Black Men are missing out on “the opportunity” because they don’t fit “the mold” is rather obtuse.

KP where you at???

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this

@Rell

My friendships with men go all the way back to grade school…I have always had platonic male friends…ppl are ppl…men are ppl…my male friends appreciate my humor, my honesty, my objective and well balanced way of thinking…some men like to have non-emotionally based relationships with women…some I gues are more grwon up than you…

By ATL Guy

July 28, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

MKary appreciate your insight. Majority of my friends are just getting married and just getting settled. Guess I’m just not that kind of person. I like to travel, experience new things, etc. When I came out of University, I was sitting on GA400 in traffic and looked to the right and saw this guy in a shirt and tie…driving the mini-van, had his hand up to his head bored, and just going home to the wifey and kids doing the same routine every damn day.

I told myself at that moment, I refuse to be that guy. I’m working in corporate America right now but I at least get out and do LIVING. Flying out to Europe on Thursday to be gone for 3 weeks!

Some people are just afraid to venture out of their comfort zone, but I really like to push myself or take challenge.

This next step career wise is exactly that…for business. I’m not going 7000 miles away from my friends and family (not to mention the city I know)to just hang out. Its a career move and get that experience early. We’ll see what pans out

By melo

July 28, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

raqi when wld be the best time for him to change his looks?…after he has asked for permission,had a discusssion about it with her,hinted at it..when…..? Unless she has concrete proof of it,its shallow of her to mouth such.In fact,the mere fact of her saying her doubts about her husb to other pple suggests to me she has insecurities of her own she is dealing with.I hate my fam biz being thrown around like that,even if its nothing…..One of my colleagues is a whhore,a total mess and his philandering is out there in the public domain of our circle.The wife will verbally trash the husband to anybody and everybody(mostly other wmen) who cares to listen..and the problem is none of them(husband and wife) has any reputation left in our eyes….SAD

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

But KP did have a point with that…I had a couple of homeboys from Illinois who did not fit the “mold” as far as what some women in the ATL were looking for…both of them spent many years without any real valuable dating experiences in the ATL…then both moved back home and a whole nother thing happened…geographically, they were missing out on ops because the did not fit the ideal type for the women where they lived…anyone can find someone…

By abc

July 28, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

2CPTG, what do you think you know about my ethnicity and demographic? I’d be curious as to how you reached your presumptuous conclusions.

By Wise Diva

July 28, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

Black society is not monolithic MR. 2. You don’t get to define “black” for anybody, and neither do I, or abc. Our experiences are our own and we each represent different struggles, triumphs, etc. I think the key is to acknowledge each other and not be apathetic, and that is hard to do, because we are so judgmental

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 2:40 PM | Link to this

@ATL Guy

Sugar, give yourself as many ops to experience the life you want to live…define your own existence…choose what makes you happy…I think that you are so very much aware of where you do not want to be is a good thing…sometimes we get to what we want in life by eliminating what we do not want…I think that your 20’s should be all about learning yourself and doing you…whatever that may mean…enjoy every single day and every single opportunity to enhance your life experience…live like Maya Angelou…have a life to write about!

By Sidelines

July 28, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

Poppa, It is at least more original that those Krystal wannabes called White Castle that I had in Harlem…lol j/k…I’m glad your j/k because you have that one BACKWARDS…it is Krystals that is is the White Castle wannabee! :)

I’m sure Stacey or anyone from up top will agree…even if like myself they don’t mess with those things any more. lol…:)

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

“I’d be curious as to how you reached your presumptuous conclusions.”

ummmm……you told us!

And it’s neither here nor there, all I’m saying dude, is that, the same way I can’t tell you about you, I don’t think you can do the same, either…..that’s akin to that comment you made a few weeks ago about the proponents of reparations not knowing the history of such….was that not presumptuous?

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

Sidelines - I remember coming to Atlanta as a college junior on the black college tour. Our tour guide around Spelman was from Cali, like our group was. I will never forget what she our group “I know y’all see that interracial dating in L.A. but they don’t do that out here.” It’s amazing to me how folks still see it as so taboo.

Kudos to them for sticking it out here in the south, rather than moving to a more tolerant area. It can’t be easy. Thanks to you for saying something nice to them!

By m'karyl

July 28, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

White Castle rules…Krystal’s is a cheap fake…lol

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this

“You don’t get to define “black” for anybody, and neither do I, or abc. Our experiences are our own and we each represent different struggles, triumphs, etc. I think the key is to acknowledge each other and not be apathetic, and that is hard to do, because we are so judgmental”

I know that, and I think my last post somewhat addresses that…..but I do find it funny when white folks do a synopsis on what its like to be black, but never the other way around…..I doubt I’ll see a special on BET about what its like to be European in America……

here’s a random thought:

You have white DJ’s on predominantly Black radio stations, but rarely have Black DJ’s on White stations……why?

And Downtown Julie Brown does not qualify! (wonder why the downtown in her name)…..

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

And don’t buy the White Castle in the box. It tastes like cardboard. But of course, Krystals is the White Castle wannabee! You’re right Sidelines, wouldn’t think of eating that stuff!

I like your post WiseDiva. I find it amazing that people want to shut each other down for their own beliefs and their own upbringing. We are all different. If you knew half the crap I went through growing up you’d be surprised I’m here in Georgia with a decent paying job, owning my car and my homes. I do not subscribe to the “self-fulfilling prophecy.” I won’t subscribe to one particular type of man. As I stated earlier, love has no color and when it his me (because it surely will), I will go with the flow!!!

By ATL Guy

July 28, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

2CPTG what is your basis for these over generalizations you are throwing out there about your “struggle”!? You are completely stupid to think no one else can relate to your type of struggle. To be honest…I struggle each day dealing with people like you with attitudes you hold of preconceptions about how bad you’ve got it. Makes me frustrated to hear such ridiculous notions in this country.

Do me a favor and pop down to South America for a day or two then tell me how bad you’ve got it. Or I can show you pictures I’ve taken of kids getting beat by riot police while I was down there. Maybe it would give you a little bit of Perspective.

I’m really tired of people complaining about this and that, where in this country you’re free to make your own decisions. Stand by them, take some accountability, and stop complaining.

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

‘fore y’all start bashing me, it’s called preference……and “preference” is discriminatory! So, to each his own!!!

By KP (http://chatkafe.blogspot.com)

July 28, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

Raqi, sorry for multi-tasking. I’m hosting a chat session on my blog about black women’s dilemma in meeting a conceptualized idea of relationship which may not exist. I’ll be back shortly!

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

Look, Guy, I never said jack, about me struggling, or having it bad….if anything, I take full advantage of every opportunity that presents itself, and I’m damn good at it!!! so, miss me with that shyt!!! I simply said white folks will never know what it’s like to be black, and I stand by that! I don’t give a shyt how many books you read, or how many specials you watch. And you tombout struggling to deal with folks like me, mu’fvcka, you ain’t strugglin with the likes of folks like me….cause I don’t even see yo azz! And folks like me don’t see yo azz either, cause you have no affect on my overall being! And you got one ‘mo time to make a personal comment! State your bizz and keep it moving!

By Poppa Grande

July 28, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

Sidelines

Truth be told I’m not a fan of either. They both are fart burgers aka Little puffs of air.

My wife is from NY, so I heard a lot about White Castle. When we visited her family in Harlem, we walked over to a White Castle. It was ok.

I knew that I would get a rise out of someone. My wife still calls Krystal burger the bad White Castle imitation. It is almost like she gets personally offended.

However, in Cali, the In-and-Out burger was pretty good IMO. Too bad that they don’t sell franchises.

By Sidelines

July 28, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this

ARed…the thing was if you would see them seperately you wouldn’t think that they would be together, but it was seeing their interaction with one another…like any other couple, that they stood out…yet meshed so well. And, isn’t that what we’re all striving for, if not have already?

MKryl, SxyLgs…^5, lol!!!!

By abc

July 28, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

I have never stated such things about myself, I purposely leave that out. I know for sure that I never have stated what my own ethnicity is on this blog. The reason for that is that after I’d do that, my statements and opinions would be perceived as that of a man of that generalized description, and I think that detracts from what I have to say.

So, what makes you think I’m white?

I think you can see that by your own posts here today, if you thought I was White, Black, American Indian, South American, Asian, Eskimo, or otherwise, it would taint your perception of what I said. I submit that you discount too severely that which you can’t identify with personally. I mentioned it earlier today: to submit to what one thinks describes black or white people’s thinking as a whole propagates myths which serve to obscure the truth.

By Kym aka Lady Sage

July 28, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

KP Way to advertise there Reverent.

By Dan

July 28, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

@KP

Self promotion is the mating call of the Mute button!

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

Poppa Grande - Glad you enjoyed L.A. However, you lose major cool points for saying In-N-Out is “not bad.” That’s an insult to the burger!

By ATL Guy

July 28, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

2CTPG What do you freakin know about me!? I don’t need to watch some CNN special to learn about your races “struggle”. I have friends who are Black and I don’t have to hear this B.S. from them. Why, because they took advantage of opportunities and took initiative. Maybe thats something you should TRY instead of wasting your time B*tchin. My parents came over from Europe…we as a family couldn’t afford fast food. You want to lecure me about not knowing what “stuggle” is?!? Please. Difference between you and me, we worked hard and made moves to get where we are today. This country will offer unlimited opporunities. Its your option to take advantage of those. You choose to complain and talk about how good “white people” have it. Keep generalizing idiot. Take a look in the mirror…get off your azz…get out there…make it happen. You want to knock people that do well and work hard, thats on you. Step Up and work out of this “struggle” you are in. You have options to make decisions that will affect the situation you’re in. Own Up

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 28, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

Am I slow or was not watching the same porgram..but I did see successful Black women on the show…not just the single mom who was nust enough to have 4 kids from this dude. Married or not I think a woman should only have enough kids that she could financially support just in case of divorce/abandonment, etc. Not being negative and saying all marriages/relationships will end like that but let’s be real here…it happens too often for a woman NOT to be prepared. My cousin has been marrried 10 years with a daughter and she even said the same thing. God forbid teh worst happened…at least she can take care of that one. More should think like that.

Come on Truth….no last punches????

Island Girl I saw The Color Purole…I loved it, Great performers! Also, congrats on your call back. I planned to go…but dyed my hair red the night before and forgot to put protective creme around my edges and now my whole scalp is blood red! I was not trying to show up at an open call like that. LOL

Kym are you serious…Sophia and Harpo see each other? That is a big size difference.

Dan If I actually wanted children, I’d want tall kids too. Especially if I had a boy…women like tall men. No myth about that!

Sidelines That was gracious of you. Some people are just haters. Maybe that was the woman that treated him best…but of course some sistas are going to give the screwface look. I have had some brothas give me the screwface with I was out with my ex….I personally do not care!

By Wise Diva

July 28, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

you make personal comments ALL the time on the blog, so you don’t like it when somebody else does the same thing? wow man, Mr 2. you are a piece of work, LOL

By Wise Diva

July 28, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

aaaand this is a good time to restate our little request: Please note that we enjoy adult discussions and dialogue on the Misadventures in Atlanta blog. Please think before you post.

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

So, what makes you think I’m white?

abc - You didn’t ask me and I don’t know what race you are. I like that you are a chameleon on here.

One thing you did say is that you had parents that were wealthy. If I were to ever conclude that you were white it’s because black people aren’t wealthy, they’re only rich! LOL. I’m paraphrasing Chris Rock here. LOL

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

“to submit to what one thinks describes black or white people’s thinking as a whole propagates myths which serve to obscure the truth.”

I saw where you said this, this morning, and this further illustrates my point!!! CNN, did the special…..wasn’t their pupose to show “what it’s like to be, Black in America?” And doesn’t that, *”submit to what one thinks describes black people’s thinking as a whole?” I mean if I’m reading it wrong, by all means correct me….

By Cemeeli

July 28, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

“I know y’all see that interracial dating in L.A. but they don’t do that out here.” It’s amazing to me how folks still see it as so taboo.

So did agree with what (some would insert the word “cynical statement” here) the ‘tour guide’ said?

…not being argumentive, not my style, just tryin’ to understand the minds of those that relocate to a “non-tolerant demographic” then hear the above contradictory statement said about that demography, and still feel it’s great .

By Raqi

July 28, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

KP are you over there talking to yourself?

By Sidelines

July 28, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

Poppa, I understand what your saying; but I totally understand where your wife is coming from. And, I agree with Ared, just can’t insult the ‘Castle’ burger like that and no one say anything…lol! :)

By Poppa Grande

July 28, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

AR

I followed it up with the statement that it is too bad that they don’t franchise. So, I must have liked it more than I am letting on.

Actually, I know a few people who have tried to get an In and Out franchise here in Atlanta. They just aren’t selling.

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

“you make personal comments ALL the time on the blog, so you don’t like it when somebody else does the same thing? wow man, Mr 2. you are a piece of work,”

When???? I attack the comment, not the person!

And for the last time guy….read what I wrote again….you keep saying struggle…..find one post of mine which even has the word struggle in it, besides in response to you!!! How about me and you don’t even correspond…I think I said that before….

By C tha 1

July 28, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this

In 2CPTG’s defense, if I follow him correctly, it is not a matter of what ethnic group has it worse than the other in the USA. Each group is unique within itself. I can’t tell a Native American to make peace with the Trail of Tears to justify they shouldn’t have casinos and just be happy where they are in life in fight the good fight. I can’t tell a Jewish person they are in America the land of opportunity so get over the Holocaust and shouldn’t have issues with the leader of Iran making bold claims it didn’t happen. Its not my place, and its ignorant of me to do so. I even can’t say to an undocumented Mexican immigrant that they shouldn’t be here … the land belonged to them to begin with.

Therefore, it stands to reason that no one outside of my race can tell me to get over my cultural past for the sake of opportunities that lie in the present. True enough there are plenty of people who have it far worse than we do, and there are attainable opportunities if you can just get over yourself. But that’s a conversation that people in Black America should have with themselves. In this case its merely a cultural issue that should be discussed within the culture … no outside influences.

At the end of the day I don’t know what it feels like to be Native American, Jewish, Mexican, Iraqi, Columbian, Chinese, or whatever oppressed group you can think of … but I know what it feels like to be black in America. For all the stastics that show the amount of black males that go through institutionalize prison system, I argue that there are just as many without a criminal record that are mentally imprisoned due to there on misconceptions about themselves, and there history … therefore shutting themselves off to the greater society and limiting ther options. Ultimately, if we as black folks will ever get over our issues it will be when we let go of the inner anger we feel from ourselves and for those outside of us. Ok I’m tired of typing. I hope it makes sense.

By mytwocents

July 28, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this

Funny how being open to other races seems to come across to some as a sleight to your own race, which I doubt is the intent of most. The intent is usually to find love.

It’s understandable to have your own personal preferences, but I just don’t get the outrage over other folks’ preferences…for anything. I don’t care if Johnny is dating Janie if he’s not yummy to me in the first place. And I REALLY don’t care if Johnny is dating Jimmy cuz even if he is yummy… I say free your mind & the rest will follow. But it’s easier for me to say as someone who was born and raised in NYC. My father has endured being raised in the south in the 50s and b/c I have an inkling of what that may have entailed, I’m not surprised by his stance. Not even don’t ask, don’t tell, rather stay single or wait till I’m gone! Extreme. And it’s a non-issue ~ ain’t no white chocolate wooing me. But so sad b/c I know he’s serious and sadder still that his life’s experiences as a Black man have led him to conclude that this is what’s best.

Poppa Outraged!…till I got to the j/k.

M’k In lust w/ the Opal & Chalcedony and don’t even know what the bleep a chalcedony is…

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

Actually, I know a few people who have tried to get an In and Out franchise here in Atlanta. They just aren’t selling.

PG - The do franchise but they never leave the west (CA, UT, NV, AZ). It drives us all crazy. We’d be willing for them to double their prices too. That’s how bad the demand is.

Then you see the stories of how Starbucks grew too fast and now have to close 600 stores and the In-N-Out powers that be just smile at their business savvy.

But yes, glad you liked the burger!

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

C, you said it right….I just like to keep it brief.

By lurker

July 28, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

2CPTG ummm, you do rather rant and have temper tantrums when you don’t agree. it’s a blog, not all will agree or see eye to eye. when you don’t agree, or someone puts your moniker in bold (as you do others), please don’t result to name calling and cussing. it takes away from the coolness and making senseness of your posts.

ARED are you softening? you seem a bit more tolerant. it’s nice on you.

ABC somedays you seem black and other days, can’t tell. that’s a good thing.

Rell why does everything and all women only seem cool if you can verify their physical appearance gets a passing grade. i think men still hung up on that kind of stuff needs to grow a bit more. nothing wrong with a beautiful woman, as Mkaryl stated, we all are but after a certain age that crap is null and void cause after a certain age it begins to fade anyway. nothing certain in this life but death and taxes. looks don’t make the list.

By ATL Guy

July 28, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

2CPTG - white folks will NEVER know what it’s like to be black!!! You can spout all the rhetoric, and scientific studies you want, still, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW!!!

This is the kind of stuff I’m talking about. State your Point Then instead of whining like a little girl. You are thowing this damn stuff out there, back it up

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

wait a sec, Diva, I take that back…..I’mma attack you, if you attack me! So if you stoop to the level of trying to call me outta my name, then expect some “getback” Is it right? nope…..But I ain’t learnt to turn the other cheek yet!

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

PG - You were right, they don’t franchise. I meant to say they don’t expand out of the west. My bad!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 28, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this

My post was eaten!

But everyone is saying all they saw wa sthe single mom crazy enough to have 4 kids by a dude. I saw the segment on successful Black women too! As far as I am concerned, I think women, married or not should not have more kids that they could afford on their own. Just in case of divorce/abandonemt, etc…be prepared. Now am I saying that al marriages end that way…no. But let’ sbe real here…it happens to often to not imagine the possibility.

Dan If I actually wanted kids I would want tall kids too. As a woman, I can carry weight better than a shirt woman. Heck if AREd gains weight she would carry it better than me because she is taller. If I had a boy I would hope he’d be 6ft or taller. Women love rtall me…no secret in that!

Sidelines Girl I do not not do Che’ Whitey, aka Belly Bombers White Caslte. I I have never had Crystals….too close to White Castle.

By melo

July 28, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

struggle is a good word for me to typify what the average black man goes thru,if u dont like the word,get over it……our perceptions as black pple are our own,just as other races have their own…..if u say holocust to a jew,they will have their goose bumps up so…. Why are uall being lectured by white dudes about blackness and stuff……..?

By melo

July 28, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this

mytwocents i just think being w******* by a white guy is selling out…………………

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this

Melo, you’re gonna have WDiva shut us down again. They let us get away with a lot, but when it starts getting really graphic BAM = doors closed!

By Atl Lady

July 28, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

Atl GuyYou know I’m laughing at you. I knew it was just a matter of time before a blog fight broke out and you were in it. :-)

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this

Growing up White Castle were to die for. Can’t forget about those meet and greets after the basement parties…

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this

Growing up White Castle were to die for. Can’t forget about those meet and greets after the basement parties…

By Poppa Grande

July 28, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this

AR

OK, that is their story. It works for them. I also heard that they treat their employees well such as profit sharing and good benefits.

I am thinking (along with a couple of friends) about getting the franchise business too. Gotta have a side hustle these days. I have talked to some people about a putting Chik-fil-a in the West End area. I have a some connections with the Cathy’s (S. Truett Cathy was the founder of the Dwarf house that later became Chik-Fil- A.)

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this

are you softening? you seem a bit more tolerant. it’s nice on you.

lurker - I’m normally soft, and tolerant. I’m from Cali, anything goes there.

I just do admit that I don’t have much patience for some bloggers that come from one school of thought when it comes to women. That’s all!

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this

lurker, you think those are temper tantrums??? really? not hardly…..but, I can vibe with this, “please don’t result to name calling and cussing. it takes away from the coolness and making senseness of your posts.”

‘cept the cussin, that is….and like I said, I will, and can debate my points all day; and I’m not gonna call anyone any names unless they come at me sideways…and then, like I said, we can take it to whatever level a person wishes….I don’t come on here to fight, or argue with anyone….and I’ve said numerous times, I don’t care who agrees, or disagrees with anything I say! I don’t post for kudos or to see my name bolded…..hell, I know I’m the J.R. Ewing on this som’bytch! Do I like it, no, but hell, I ain’t about to become a part of the head nodding, and bobbing, that goes on in here……

By ATL Guy

July 28, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this

Melo is always one to point out the white people sending a divide. I’m not like, hey check out Melo, he’s from Africa and lecturing about American struggles.

To me its wild to hear some people in this room saying that “white people” from all different backgrounds Can’t relate to black people. Are you freakin kidding me!? Wake Up

By Sidelines

July 28, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this

Stace, that’s why I said I’m sure Stacey OR anyone from up top will agree…wasn’t sure if you’ve EVER been to the ‘Castle’ or not! :)

By melo

July 28, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs,i thoght the discussion waz over,its 4.00 pm time to mix and mingle now…freaky afternoon and anything goes… ABC somedays you seem black and other days, can’t tell the black sisters that abc dates make him real black in his soul….he likes collards,neckbones and yams..

By mytwocents

July 28, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

May I just say - as one who endeavors not to get sucked into the real petty ish - how infantile it is to loosely label folks stupid/stoopid & idiot, et. And perhaps there’s some kind of formula for tolerance whereas the amount of time blogging is divided by # of posts, then subtract from that how often they’ve irked ajcfam. But seriously, some are allowed to spout all manner of BS, inclusive of misogyny and various intolerances but remain unscathed. While the attempt to subjugate others seems like a constant.

C tha Did you just forcefully throw the mic down like Sexual Chocolate in this piece? Should have…

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

I am thinking (along with a couple of friends) about getting the franchise business too. Gotta have a side hustle these days.

Well, PG, I would suggest Fatburger, but I’m good with the two already here and they have El Pollo Loco out here now too.

How bout a Jack In the Box? I’m sure there is SOME reason why they aren’t out this way. But it sucks that they aren’t!

By For Real

July 28, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

In honor of Truth’s last days……

We have compiled a six disc package with exclusive music. Songs written and produced by Truth.

You will such favorites as:

Smack a Bytch Down

Also on those long lonely winter nights ladies you can sit down to this classic:

I Got Another Bytch Joining Us

Ohhh that takes you back down memory lane and so will this hit:

Old Puddy At New Puddy Prices

Remember you get this six disc classic from Truth. But wait if you act know we will include these classic as well:

Touch My Dog If You Want To

And this special duet with Kym

Peachers Ain’t Ish

And lets not forget this soultry hit:

I Took A Shot For Dat Baby

And remember his great crossover hit:

Is It Gay That Worry About My Side Dishes

Oh and who can forget his gangsta hit:

Go Cry Likka Bytch RandyT

Call now, our operators are waiting for You!!!!

By Atl Lady

July 28, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this

PoppaI didn’t think you could franchise Chic-fil-a because it was still privately owned. Can you?

By Rell

July 28, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this

@ared…mayne i feel the same way…lol

@lurker…i give a fugg how she looks..i am just messing around with her..because she came so high and mighty…i remember her run down she posted awhile ago…plus she is an older female..that i know and the area she is in virginia she prolly stands out if she has some style about herself…so i know the level of ignorance she gets from that area by some men…its country…i am from there so i know…but again i took issue with her broad statement that she was better…but the question is why do you care its just a blog..and trust i have meet plenty of folks from this blog…and looks never entered our interactions….trust that…never talked about it..just chopped it up and keep it moving

By melo

July 28, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

lecturing about American struggles i do black struggles,not american….i have nothing in common with a jew,asian or irish….call me parochial,but hey,i only have black friends etc…thats my comfort zone….

By ATL Guy

July 28, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

ATL Lady I didn’t start this one! Haha!

Melo you are the one bringing race into every single comment. You’ve defined me from the start as “the white guy”…just because you had a white girl dump your azz or break your heart or whatever it is and you simply have a problem with white people. Makes you look pathetic & ignorant beyond belief. For you and 2CPTG who say white people don’t know anything about black people is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard. Both of you have your little Pity Party about how “rough” you have it. When you Man Up & come back to reality, then address me. Understand??

By Cemeeli

July 28, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

mytencents

May I just say - as one who endeavors not to get sucked into the real petty ish - how infantile it is to loosely label folks stupid/stoopid & idiot, et.

i must say we do have those that have that tendacy to post such mess.

digress

But seriously, some are allowed to spout all manner of BS, inclusive of misogyny and various intolerances but remain unscathed.

Now see, you best change your moniky and portal for that one.

C tha Did you just forcefully throw the mic down like Sexual Chocolate in this piece?

Because i’m still standing up here holding the mic up…

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

I’m on the floor….Truth, you are loved in blogsville…you’re the patriach of blogsville and will be missed!!!

By Tazzee

July 28, 2008 4:10 PM | Link to this

ARed I tried Jack In The Box for the first time after you guys mentioned it on here. Let me tell you - that burger was GOOD, I couldn’t eat it all though (nor should I have tried). Sorry, I wasn’t impressed with In and Out burger when I was out there. But then again I’ve never liked Krystal or White Castle either.

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 4:11 PM | Link to this

“But seriously, some are allowed to spout all manner of BS, inclusive of misogyny and various intolerances but remain unscathed. While the attempt to subjugate others seems like a constant.”

I said this not too long ago! I know you wuddn’t talkin to me, but I can relate!

By Poppa Grande

July 28, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

AR

There are Jack In The Box here in the East: Greenville, SC; Tampa, FL, etc. I’ve tried them here in the east and in the west. They have one common thing: The stunk worse than a skunk. I did not like it at all. I wanted to go back and make them eat it. Horrible!!! I don’t want to sell something that I wouldn’t want.

We mention Chik-Fil-A because it has some healthier choices than most places. Grilled chicken salad is not bad tasting and are better than most other places as far as calories. Not only that, Chik-Fil-A has great rep for customer service. The West End has Popeye’s, Church’s etc but nothing with a semi-healthy choices. Well, let me take that back, there is Soul Vegetarian.

Chik-Fil-A now has a fruit salad as well on the menu.

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

“Both of you have your little Pity Party about how “rough” you have it. When you Man Up & come back to reality, then address me. Understand??”

Find One post of mine, where I said woe is me! Then you get back to me…..I see you just like to keep shyt going! Somebody please give this person some attention…..and pity party??? hahahahahah….said while he’s at work….and I’m at home chillin, me and my shorties!!

By IslandGirl

July 28, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

Staceye girl, thanks. I’m sorry to hear about your hair snafu…at least it is fixable problem. I agree with you regarding having babies, etc. Like abc said earlier, single parenthood can be a matter of irresponsibility…I sure was (young and naive).

By Atl Lady

July 28, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

ONCE AGAIN i HAVE TO SHOUT MY CUZ FOR THE TRUTH TRIBUTE ALBUM. I’LL BUY THE FIRST COPY FOR $15 AND SELL THE BURNS FOR $5 EACH (GOTTA MAKE A PROFIT!!!) LOLOLOLOL

By Poppa Grande

July 28, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

PoppaI didn’t think you could franchise Chic-fil-a because it was still privately owned. Can you?

Yes, most of the fast food looking ones are franchised operated. For example, the one at Camp Creek Marketplace is owned by a Black woman.

The Dwarf Houses and Turett’s Grill (on Mt. Zion Road) are still owned by the Cathy Family. He now owns a pizzeria in Fayetteville.

By melo

July 28, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

You’ve defined me from the start as “the white guy white men cant jump,cant dance either…………now do a black joke in retaliation and u get ur azz whooped……..

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

I had Jack in the Box growing up in the 70’s. Doubt I like it now.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 28, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

* i just think being w* by a white guy is selling out* But it’s ok if the Black guy does it? Um no! Just because a Black woman decides to date a white guy does not mean she is wh0ring herself or being wh0red. Black men wh0re out sistas all the time…where is the disgust in that? We get disrespected by our men all the time…but as long as he’s Black its not a problem! I will date whomever I choose and race is not a problem. The closed minded individuals who do not like it can kiss my azz! I do not live to please them nor do I give a rat’s azz about their little opinions of me and what man loves me! I will not be the chick waiting for that “Black Man”. Actually I will not be waiting for any man. But if one comes along…you can best believe his race will not be the reason we are not together.

For Real OMG! ROTFLMBAO!!! You are a nut! I am in tears at work! Where do you get this stuff?

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

Sorry, I wasn’t impressed with In and Out burger when I was out there. But then again I’ve never liked Krystal or White Castle either.

Tazzee - This is the end of our friendship. It was nice knowing you.

But I’m confused. In-N-Out is NOTHING like Krystal or White Castle, so are you sure you were eating at an In-N-Out? I’ve NEVER heard of anyone who likes burgers say they don’t like In-N-Out. Plenty of folks aren’t feeling WC or Krystal.

PG - I don’t think you can ever go wrong with a Chick-fil-A. It has some kind of cult following. I’m not that into CFA just because I didn’t grow up with it. It’s good tho!

But I still loves me some Jack in the Crack and I’ll be in Tampa again soon so I’ll look it up!

By mytwocents

July 28, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

being w** by a white guy is selling out* Guessing that’s who.red? So to that sentiment, one can who.re herself out to the same race if she so chooses, since we know some use their bodies as a commodity. But the one she should be with is the one she wants to keep giving herself to, free of charge. I’m thinking Daddy’s tryna speak to me in theory so that it’ll quell any possible desire to practice. Again, a non-issue as has no basis for it beyond fatherly dictates & usually attached to the why firearms are my friends lecture.

Now when Diane Sawyer finally decides to accept your advances, will u consider yourself a sellout too?

By Page1908

July 28, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

YUMMY! In and Out, Fat Burger, Jack in the Box, El Pollo Loco! Now, that’s what I am talking about..gotta love my Cali food!

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

In saluting all that Truth has contributed to this blog, for being one of the forefathers of the MLB and for espousing down to earth knowledge on the younger cats, I vote this blog shuts down at 5:00 in his honor!

By ATL Guy

July 28, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

2CPTG you’re right, I’m working cause I have a career. So you’re proud of just sitting at home watching Maury!? Guess I’m not going to understand you afterall…

Melo Nice White Joke…you really want me to retaliate with an African Joke!? Wait, you’ll probably get Outraged. You play this race card sh*t every single day. Just make you look incredibly weak and just kind of pathetic. Guess I can’t relate to you either…

By M'Karyl

July 28, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

@Reek, I mena Rell

Obviously, you have not been to the South Hampton area of ther VA…there are some very beautiful, down to earth sisters here…they are from everywhere…after all, this is a military town…and keep in mind, Reek, that I lived in the ATL for 24 years…and that experience is what turned me off to men who only perceive a physical standard of attractiveness as the primary criteria for assessing a woman’s value…personally, growing old and ugly ain’t in my program…all I need to do is look at my moms..who is still a very attractive woman at 72…just like her mother…and I will always be turned off by men wh only veiw me from the physical…

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 4:30 PM | Link to this

Page1908, I have an opening for a new blog BFF, since I had to let Tazzee go. You know good fast food! LOL

Welcome back by the way. Ever had a hot dog at Pink’s? I’ve been craving their chili cheese dog. :-(

By M'Karyl

July 28, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

@Reek, I mean Rell

i do not recall anywhere in my post stating that I was better than anyone…in fact,I would love to date only blind men…so that I as person are what they get…not the way I look…to shallow and ignorant for me…a turn off…you must not be able to read…arse

By melo

July 28, 2008 4:32 PM | Link to this

Now when Diane Sawyer finally decides to accept your advances, will u consider yourself a sellout too? hahaha,nice one..im only telling u..thats a trick,when u tell a black wman about another wman,that brings her and her pudsy closer…daddy,u want me to make u sme tea see,trying to win my charm…….So i say that to make u all jealousy so i check ur moves…..

By Poppa Grande

July 28, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this

AR

If I remember correctly, Jack N the Box in located near Raymond James Stadium in Tampa.

I am not a big fan of it at all, though. They have a cult following like Checkers does here. I don’t like Checkers either. Unlike Jack N the Box, I’ve been a victim of Checkers Food poisoning twice. Haven’t messed with them since. Rumor has it that Jack has a relatively high number of food poison cases. I don’t know if they keep those kinds of stats or not.

Tazzee In and Out is nothing like the fart burgers known as Krystal or White Castle. Sorry if I caused any confusion. I just threw White Castle in there b/c I know how NYers love them (Ecxept Staceye..)

By Atl Lady

July 28, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

SexyI only know of one Jack in the Box that’s still open in this little town called Monticello, Alabama. No BK or Mickey there.

PoppaI appreciate the info. I know you have to have a lot of liquidity to own and operate a Wendy’s which is partly why the one closed at Stonecrest.

By melo

July 28, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this

ATL Guy dude,im just messing wit u,i aint mad at u or anything…see hw ur pinky cover and this (my) dark,pitch black leather of mine are not equally sensitive…..why u have all these sticky pink pimples of rage…..

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this

“So you’re proud of just sitting at home watching Maury!? Guess I’m not going to understand you afterall…”

Nope, sure won’t!!! cause I don’t * HAVE* to work!!! ..that’s why I told you earlier….struggle? Never That! So what about your career! Trust me, dude, my employability skills puts me in the 6 figure category, easily, ok……I have advanced degrees….my name rings in circles you could never access….so go talk to somebody whom you can spit that nonsense to! Said while laughin at your azz, and about to spark one……..cause I can!

By Rell

July 28, 2008 4:37 PM | Link to this

cali food…any taco shop with the numbers and you go in write down what you want….dell taco..in and out burger….carls jr…the hot dog joint wienerstics(sp)…jack in the crack..but my favorite as alalbertos 1 thru 40…..LMAO

By Page1908

July 28, 2008 4:37 PM | Link to this

ARed Hey Chica! Consider me in!! You know I love Pinks, but I stopped eating hot dogs back in 1997 unless they are turkey dogs, so that is out for me! Have you ever been to Campos on Venice close to LaBrea? Girl, their bean and cheese burritos are the bomb. I used to always go there when I was little and my best friend’s mom would take us to the Cooper Building to go shopping for Guess clothes! The good ole days! I don’t go home again until the end of August, but I will be in Phoenix in 2 weeks, so I will be grubbing up on Jack, El Pollo and In-N-Out LOL. Hey do you like Rally’s? lol

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

PG - You always have good info! And my work trips are at Raymond James so yes! I get my Jamba Juice in Tampa too.

Checkers kind of sucks but they are called Rally’s in Cali and for some reason I like Rally’s lol.

By melo

July 28, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

mamba u guys only date white guys after being frustrated by black bros,so there is consolation in that,we 1st grade anyway.and they are just a last resort……..

By Wise Diva

July 28, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

melo, you are getting on my nerves, today, geez, as usual taking it too far, how about you take a nice piping hot bowl of STFU. I know I said we like adult convo, but you don’t seem to want to adhere, so i won’t either, LOL) and ATLGuy, grab a spoon and dig in too

hmph

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 4:43 PM | Link to this

Wow, from IR dating to White Castle/Krystals/JackInTheBox, etc….

By M'Karyl

July 28, 2008 4:44 PM | Link to this

@ARed

Funny how ppl seem to have fav eating haunts from where they grew up…and the fond memories…for me, being from Rockford, IL…it was Geri’s Hamburgers and Welch’s Cheese Hut…oh, and Villa Capri Pizza…and it seems that no matter where you go, you may find other favs…but not like the hometown joints…now, I want a godd chili dog

By mytwocents

July 28, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

thats a trick Oh. I thought you were supposed to turn in your bag of tricks when you exchange wedding vows. Maybe I’ll try a stun gun.

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 28, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this

Melo That is not true. I have dated all races all my life. It never had anything to do with being frustrated with Black men. Am I frustrated with them now…yes! But It will not make me say I will never date another Black man again. I date whoever is appealing to me upon sight and conversation.

Wise* girl you gpt me cracking up over here! I got either a cold or allergies and I am sounding like a tranny right now..so my laugh is not that cute! LOL

By melo

July 28, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this

hey wise,its 4.44 so what u mad about girl,time to go home….hw is ur new guy,u string them along each week hah,new week new boy…….

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 4:47 PM | Link to this

I warned you melo!

By Page1908

July 28, 2008 4:47 PM | Link to this

ARed LOL @ Rally’s! The hood Rally’s on Manchester and Crenshaw next to Pic n Save (Big Lots) LOL.

Rell Dell Taco! gross. Oh yeah, I used to work at Wienershnitzel like when I was 19 after I got out of high school! You don’t want to know what they put in their chili! LOL gag

By Cemeeli

July 28, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

…i’m hungry…

mytwo what the real deal? Have a double stuffed Eclair.

By Tazzee

July 28, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this

ARed I do like Fatburger though, LOL. To be clear, I said I wasn’t impressed with In and Out burger…I guess I’d heard folks talk it up so much that I just didn’t get it. Now that sirloin burger at Jack in the Box? That’s another story. You’ll be back to being my friend tomorrow :-)

SexyLeggs I didn’t feel like commenting on the IR dating topic (I’ve expressed my views on that issue many times before) do I tried to get in where I could, LOL.

Have a great evening folks.

By blakgirl

July 28, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this

Thank you Staceye!! I’ve see a lot of my girlfriends put up with being nothing but a booty call for their black boyfriends. I’ve seen some of my girlfriend hold on to losers like they were the last men on earth, all because he was a black man with a job. I mean, some these brothas don’t even try to hide they have more than one woman. I have a simple rule of what I won’t put up with from any man. Like I said before, jerks and jack asses come in all race, creeds, & colors.

Dating someone should come down to just more than color. What about compability? What happens if all you have in common is skin color?

A couple of my black relatives told me if I ever married a white guy they’re not coming to the wedding. I promptly told them, ‘what makes you think I would invite you, anyway’

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

Page1908 you are my new BFF because I think Del Taco is the pits too. Yuck. LOL

I’ve only been to Campos once or twice. That was my neighborhood growing up, but for some reason I never really went there. Did get me plenty of Roscoe’s tho!

By 2 Can Play That Game©

July 28, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

“Haha…alright Man”….

yeah, seriously dude, I’m not up for arguing with anyone; But I am, who, and what I am…..but broke, and destitute ain’t one of ‘em……and I ain’t braggin’ bout nuttin, in fact, I hate speaking of myself, but trust, I’m aiiiight! And hopefully, we can squash all the dumbshyt!

By AmazonRed

July 28, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

To be clear, I said I wasn’t impressed with In and Out burger…

Tazzee - This is still a knife in my heart!

But yeah, all the hype about Five Guys ruined it for me. It was “okay” but folks swear by it.

By melo

July 28, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

mytwo when i hear of a new trick,bedrm or otherwise, i take it hme to the one,thats hw u spice it up,cant be content with just having each other and jamimg the same jam, day in and day out!!!!

By mytwocents

July 28, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

Cee Thank you, no - sounds too sweet. But ice cream…

By SexyLeggs

July 28, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

I hear ya Tazzee

Good night everyone.

In honor of Truth —-> Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.

Stay focused on what’s around you!

By M'Karyl

July 28, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

@ATL Guy

Some ppl just are not concened with how white ppl feel or think about what we say…it is just an indifference to white thought and being…some ppl of color jsut do not care about white ppl…it is just the way it is…but melo does not strike me as the type to be too concerned with blaming the white man…he got his…and he does not care…brother african that he is

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

July 28, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this

Blakgirl I feel you mama! Do your thing! Those close minded relatives do not need to be invite to share your special day anyway if they got hate in their heart!

By Poppa Grande

July 28, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

Del Taco was my very first job. We had them here in ATL as well.

Because of that, I won’t eat fast mexican food. I won’t tell you what was in the taco meat. It was plain nasty. I know that the meat was routinely spoiled. Sometimes there were worms in the meat, too. District manager would ask us to put some tomato sauce in it to cover the smell and give it some color.

By Cemeeli

July 28, 2008 5:02 PM | Link to this

girlfriend wow…you’re still convinced that your way is the way.

Cee says what Simon don’t say, k.

mytwo Please don’t use the stun gun.

Lol…it’s been great.

Ya’ll be easy.