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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2008 > June > 12 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USGive it to me straight
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
When was the last time you were in a relationship with someone who told you, “This has been a great 6 months, but I’m just not attracted to you anymore.” Or when was the last time you were out and someone said, “There’s definitely some chemistry here, but I’m going to buy you one or two more drinks to make sure you can carry a conversation for more than 10 minutes.”
Sometimes I think part of the reason dating/relationships/love can be so confusing is because of the preferred social etiquette most of us follow. And this isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it just means you know a) how to properly address people and b) how much they really need to know about what you’re thinking. (For example, sometimes she doesn’t need to hear that you think she looks fat.)
But it does mean that we’re not quite as honest with people as we’d like to think. Not dishonest, mind you, just a little more tactful. And sometimes more confusing.
What are examples of “socially acceptable” things people have said to you that they could have just been straight-up about? How would it help our dating lives if we curbed social etiquette occasionally for the sake of clarity? Do you think we’d be able to communicate better?
What are the dangers of being honest to the point of losing tact? Would the pros outweigh the cons if we decided to start being blatantly honest with people?
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By QC
June 12, 2008 8:16 AM | Link to this
Morning…..zzzzzz…..zzzz..zzz.zz
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 8:17 AM | Link to this
couldn’t stay away … lurkin’.
By Kym aka Enchantress Divine
June 12, 2008 8:19 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All,
I am not even sure I am following what the motivation is behind this topic…But I will just go with the idea that it is about honesty.
What are the dangers of being honest to the point of losing tact? People have a tendancy to confuse tact with plain being just plain mean. Saying I am straight to the point is fine but there is a way to say everything without spewing poison in your words.—-So danger number one is that you come across as a jackazz. Which for some people is just who they are..however I always say life has a funny way of making you accountable for all your actions so while you are throwing out acid on others..dont be surpise when it comes back to you..in spades.
Outflow determines inflow
Would the pros outweigh the cons if we decided to start being blatantly honest with people?
I think alot more problems would be solved if we were just blantantly honest with ourselves first. That means starting inside and then working outside. Sorry I am just not buying the notion that you can date someone for 6months and then wake up one day and say you know what I don’t like you anymore. I can however buy the idea that you date someone for 6 months and you wake up one day and say I can’t take XYZ behavior anymore. I thought 6months ago that I could deal with it and work through it but I can’t so therefore I am out of here. Now that is being honest with yourself and with the other party involved.
By Getting It Off My Chest
June 12, 2008 8:27 AM | Link to this
Do I tell my boyfriend that he is a short, fat obnixious MFer that is always passing gas,hogging the remote, with a warped since of humor and thinks he knows everything? No, I simply allow him to be who he is until,I feel I can no longer be who I am, then I’m out!!!
By QC
June 12, 2008 8:29 AM | Link to this
H
By QC
June 12, 2008 8:29 AM | Link to this
Hey Beautiful how are you?
By ATL Guy
June 12, 2008 8:30 AM | Link to this
Buenas Dias! I broke up with my last g/f and there was no easy way to do it. If you’re honest…you will hurt their feelings however tactful you are or if you play it down, its never a concrete break situation.
I had to tell her that we just didn’t have the chemistry.
I’m a direct person but my analogy is pulling tape off…sometimes its just better to rip it off quickly. Might hurt more initially but its done instead of dragging it out.
By QC
June 12, 2008 8:31 AM | Link to this
Good point Kym i’ll be in lurkesville, ga today for a while..Have a great day all
By PornStar* in da Building (**6'1**)
June 12, 2008 8:33 AM | Link to this
I am a firm believer in being honest or shooting from the hip. But, I also think there is a way to say everything. Hey Booti’, ^5 Divine
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 8:33 AM | Link to this
Good Morning
I have a table setup with vaseline, boxing gloves, mouthpieces and corner coaches for today’s topic.
No, i’ve never had someone come straight out and say they were no longer into me.
What are examples of “socially acceptable” things people have said to you that they could have just been straight-up about?
“I just want to make sure I’m right for the person I am with.”
“It’s not you it’s me”
“I don’t know why that chick keep blowing up my phone, she’s just crazy!”
How would it help our dating lives if we curbed social etiquette occasionally for the sake of clarity?
I think it would work best if we were all a little more up front at the start..as oppose to starting off a little dishonest then trying to back track to a closer truth.
What are the dangers of being honest to the point of losing tact? Well i think there is a fine line of being honest and just plain out to hurt someone.
An example:
Honest: “Girl!…Take a whiff of my FANGA…Dayum! Smell like you lost a lobster and a Grilled shrimp Skewer in your puddy!”
More Tact: “Miss lady, you’re a sweet person but i just don’t think we’re physically compatible. So i don’t think its going to work out. By the way, have you ever had a chemical imbalance?”
By Kevmoor
June 12, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this
This is a boring topic…. i will be lurking
By Raqi
June 12, 2008 8:52 AM | Link to this
LOL Kym Yeah. I am not really sure where Bella meant to go with this one.
But anyhoo, my first thought is if you are not attracted to the person then what difference does it make if you are tactful.
Then my next thought is if you are not attracted to the person the move on and say nothing. Why insult them? It makes you a person of bad character.
Now if we are in a relationship honesty and tact means a ton. If you are looking to preserve what you have then choose your words thoughtfully.
You should never lie about certain things in a relationship. Give it to me straight.
By ATL Guy
June 12, 2008 8:54 AM | Link to this
This topic is kind of weak, isn’t it!?
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this
Good day everyone. My mother use to always tell me “it’s not what you said, but how you said it.” As I mature, I’m garnering tact along the way. I still shoot from the hip yet I SOMETIMES watch what I say. You can be honest and not be mean. I use to enjoy being mean if you deserved it. Now, I might consider your feelings (LOL).
By Foots
June 12, 2008 9:06 AM | Link to this
What are examples of “socially acceptable” things people have said to you that they could have just been straight-up about?
I can’t even think of anything that I didn’t see through right away. It’s like I hear the sorry excuse and on the way to my brain, it automatically gets translated into “F/k what I just said. I’m just not that into you.”
I haven’t been particularly deceitful with men when I’ve broken it off. Saying that it just wouldn’t work out and that I don’t have the same feelings (and don’t think I would get them) pretty much covers the gamut. If they keep asking why, I just politely refuse to let them bait me into telling them exactly what the problem is. I’m not perfect either, so why would I tell them every little thing that got on my nerves? When it’s not a match, it’s not a match.
Now, I did feel like telling one dude to go get some Proactiv. I went out with that dude once. I think I met him on Mingle City. His pictures were okay, but when I saw him in person, he was about three inches shorter than he said and dude’s face looked like the underside of a Nestle Crunch bar. I didn’t even know that many bumps and pimples and craters could fit on one face!
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this
Had to laugh @ I didn’t even know that many bumps and pimples and craters could fit on one face! You crazy!
By Foots
June 12, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this
I must admit though, I’ve been guilty of just not saying anything, sometimes, I just Houdini out that camp. And I’m not doing it to be mean or to avoid confrontation. I just don’t know them that well and don’t care if I never speak to them again.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 9:11 AM | Link to this
naw, not really.
The topic is at the heart of it all. Every misunderstanding, every “mixed” signal and confusing conversation that you’ve every had in a relationship…
Starts with someone not want to hurt the other one’s feelings.
So you can’t say:
Baby you fine, but your breath stank;
Its not your personality, you’re just horrible in bed;
I want your best friend, and ended up with you;
I hate you laugh;
I hate your smile;
Your teeth look like half eaten chicklets and no matter how much money you spend on me, until you see a dentist, we done!
So while trying to be tactful, and in some cases there are out and out deceptions, there lies confusion.
Kinda like the one a couple of weeks ago….
By ATL Guy
June 12, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this
Has Anyone Else seen the MARTA video exploding on YouTube!? Search “Marta Fight” and click on the Soljah Girl video … it is mad funny! You have to check it out for Morning Laughs!!!
By Foots
June 12, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this
SexyLeggs Girl, I got bored with the conversation and started counting them.
They had a topic on Michael Baisden yesterday about Blind Date Horror Stories, about people not being honest about what they look like on online dating sites. Not that aesthetically challenged people don’t need love too, they just need to be honest about their challenges.
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this
CALLING ON STACEYE, CALLING ON STACEYE…CAR 54 WHERE ARE YOU!
By Foots
June 12, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this
Piggybacking on Dan’s “horrible in bed” comment, for guys in possession of “sippy cups” (Little D’s) and not “2 liters” (Big D’s), has a woman ever been honest enough to tell you just how small you were? Not that I expect to get an answer, but since this is an anonymous forum, maybe somebody will admit to it…
Ladies, have you ever told a guy that your three-year old little cousin is better hung than him? Or did you let your laughter tell the story?
By Mo (aka Moeisha)
June 12, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this
Morning All wow, what a topic….
Oh well, Like you SexyLeggs my parents always emphasized tact and the whole there is a way to say everything/a time and a place for everything way of handling situations. Now I can handle truth as long as I dont feel you are purposely trying to be mean and hurtful. It is what it is and somethings cant be said any other way than straight from the hip. This whole thing revolves solely on how something is said vs. what is said.
Okay so who’s bringing breakfast today?? LOL
By Dan
June 12, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this
Discussion on the size of “Panthro” before actual sexual congress is juvenile…
No man talks to a woman about that, for a number of reasons but mostly, it’s to see “that look”
That “woooooowwww” look
That “how is that going to fit?” look
I can’t speak for any other man, but those looks have me hitting the Captian Morgan pose, for real…
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this
I was listening yesterday. One of MBaisden’s crew came on the mike and said he got out of a blind date by acting like he was from Ethopia and speaking in their dialect. That was funny!
I had one disturbing truthful moment years back. I was dating this guy who worked for Marta. We meshed in so many ways. We were connecting or so I thought. He called to ask me out to dinner and I accepted. Never heard back from him. When I finally got in touch w/him later that evening all I heard on the other end was a bunch of hemming and hawing. I cussed him out for not being a man and just telling me we were over. Told him I’m a big girl and avoidance is not one of my better suits. About a year later ran into him again and he profusely apologized. I laughed and while walking away told him to have a nice day. Did that day hurt…you damn skippy!
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this
Hey in here!
topic comment…ah, i’m reading today.
Kym i’m going to pass you the mic one more time but this time i’m going to bring you a tall n’ frosty glass of blueberry lemonade.
Slim that ‘fanga’ one made my smoothie spew out of the straw and on my keys (keyboard).
By Kym aka Enchantress Divine
June 12, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this
Foots We are not going to have another round of “Beauty is as Beauty does are we?”
Granted I know people lie and post someone else’s picture or no picture at all.. believe me I dated a dude wayyyyy shorter than me who swore he was 5’8. More like 5’4. So with that I can see a problem with honesty..but Beauty is in the eye of the beholder..and what looks good for one..may not be good to others.
Besides I don’t think Michael Baisden should talk about anyone..being unattractive. When he smiless or grins is eyes close and his voice is annoying and a little to on the high side for my taste..and I am not sure how tall he is but I am suspecting he wears lift in his shoes.
By ATL Guy
June 12, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this
New Topic
Has anyone tried Online Dating sites and if so…what is the wildest story!?
By Happy in Conyers
June 12, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this
Not at all. I am brutally honest.
By Foots
June 12, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this
Dan Well, my comment was for the little guys who have actually pulled out the toothpick in front of somebody, so that would be “actual sexual congress”…
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this
Foots, I dated a pencil carrier for about 2 years. The sex was pretty good because we were quite adventurous. We had so much fun in other ways that I never felt the need to tell him. Some things don’t need to be said. It’s not like he could have done anything about his size.
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this
Foots I’ve been guilty of just not saying anything, sometimes, I just Houdini out that camp I am guilty of that too. I guess I get in my moods sometimes where I just don’t feel like exerting energy to say Yea or Neigh…sometimes its just a matter of laziness. You know what I mean…you’re laying across the couch on a Friday night, not watching anything in particular, drinking a beer or margarita…cell phone rings…you pick it up…look at it..say a quick Hmph! then lay the phone back down. LOL!
Now in regards to the ‘telling him it ain’t that big’…i’ve never told a guy that. However, I have told a guy that was giving me an earfluckedupalectomy that he minus well just get up cause it wasn’t going to come. He wanted so bad to know what he could do to make it better. My response was “Just Give Up” lol (thats some honesty for yo azz)
By Foots
June 12, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this
Kym We are not going to have another round of “Beauty is as Beauty does are we?”
We don’t have to. I was sharing my story about how I couldn’t be tactful with an unattractive guy. I’m sure that some lady out there would just love to pop those pimples, but unfortunately, I’m not that lady. You want his number?
By mytwocents
June 12, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
There is no Golden Rule which states: To be without guile is to be without tact. Just say what needs to be said in a non-malicious way. Upfront is best even if a lil awkward due to presistence. Like w/ Can I get your/ give you my #? It was cool chatting w/ you, but I think I’m good. What do you mean good? I enjoyed our conversation and hope you have a good evening. But you said you didn’t have a man. I don’t. So what’s the problem?! (Counting to 10) No problem, just no desire to pursue anything. Add hand pat & pleasant smile as you walk away even if they’re cursing you under their breath. Doing that’s so much better than just givin the # to shake em for the nite only to have your phone blown by a person now under a false imprression. One of my girls does that and it annoys me to no end when she gets an attitude and asks why he keeps callin. I’m like, uhm, cuz you gave him ya number!@!
mqew Your show might come on today…
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this
Foots I’ve been guilty of just not saying anything, sometimes, I just Houdini out that camp I am guilty of that too. I guess I get in my moods sometimes where I just don’t feel like exerting energy to say Yea or Neigh…sometimes its just a matter of laziness. You know what I mean…you’re laying across the couch on a Friday night, not watching anything in particular, drinking a beer or margarita…cell phone rings…you pick it up…look at it..say a quick Hmph! then lay the phone back down. LOL!
Now in regards to the ‘telling him it ain’t that big’…i’ve never told a guy that. However, I have told a guy that was giving me an earfluckedupalectomy that he minus well just get up cause it wasn’t going to come. He wanted so bad to know what he could do to make it better. My response was “Just Give Up” lol (thats some honesty for yo azz)
By Foots
June 12, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this
Slim My response was “Just Give Up” lol (thats some honesty for yo azz)
Oh wow!!! LOL!!!!
SexyLeggs Pencil carrier!! LOL! I’ve never had to tell a man about his size either, I’m sure he knew, especially if he’s ever been in a locker room situation or watched an adult movie. But usually guys that are like that have other skills.
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this
Morning all. It’s good to be home and it’s much cooler than I expected!
When was the last time you were in a relationship with someone who told you, “This has been a great 6 months, but I’m just not attracted to you anymore.”
When I moved to Atlanta, I was dating a guy. He was one of the reasons I moved here, though one of 7. Anywhoo, about six months after I got here, we still were not moving forward. I asked him what was up and that is basically the answer I got.
I respected the hell out of him for finally giving it to me straight. And therefore we parted ways. Made getting over him a bit easier too, though it was still hard.
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this
Foots I’ve been guilty of just not saying anything, sometimes, I just Houdini out that camp I am guilty of that too. I guess I get in my moods sometimes where I just don’t feel like exerting energy to say Yea or Neigh…sometimes its just a matter of laziness. You know what I mean…you’re laying across the couch on a Friday night, not watching anything in particular, drinking a beer or margarita…cell phone rings…you pick it up…look at it..say a quick Hmph! then lay the phone back down. LOL!
Now in regards to the ‘telling him it ain’t that big’…i’ve never told a guy that. However, I have told a guy that was giving me an earfluckedupalectomy that he minus well just get up cause it wasn’t going to come. He wanted so bad to know what he could do to make it better. My response was “Just Give Up” lol (thats some honesty for yo azz)
By ATL Guy
June 12, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this
AmazonRed you think you set yourself up to be burned by this guy?? Had to be warning flags
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this
CALLING ON STACEYE, CALLING ON STACEYE…CAR 54 WHERE ARE YOU???
By SeanJohnson3000
June 12, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this
Sup blog….i am all for shooting from the hip..but you have to be able to word things in a way that you dont hurt feelings…folks are waaay too sensitive…and you mess around and say the wrong thing to a woman..whether she wants your opinion or not..and she will close up…and you may not be getting any home cooked meals or a$$…so somethings are better off not said…
@ Foots aka Toya…imma need for you to start a kegal regimine throughout the day…because you havent had any kids…so that thang should have a kungfu grip…got me wondering if you have “ruint” yourself with all toys you have around the house..lol
By Dan
June 12, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this
Much respect on that one Slim…
Never heard tell of a woman telling a man to stop…earmuff..ear…that.
So it must have been him right?
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this
I broke up with my last g/f and there was no easy way to do it. If you’re honest…you will hurt their feelings
Uh…ATL Guy, huh? Aren’t break ups hurtful anyway? You might as well be honest so that the girl knows exactly where you are coming from.
Not being honest just makes you a liar on top of all the other things a couple has to deal with during break-ups.
By ATL Guy
June 12, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this
oh and when I guy tells you that “I’m not attracted to you anymore” … its a cop out, they are attracted to someone else or they just want to be single. Thats straight up
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this
Just say what needs to be said in a non-malicious way.
hhmmmhhmm…let me think, malicious…malici…Well i guess your banter on ‘tearing up the tank’ was not mean. Soooo mytwocents heres a twist; Would you share with me/us how one would go about telling a guy/bf his “boi” is a flirt (not circling back) and/or has made a pass/inappropriate remark at you. Help me out here.
Mo breakfast is on QC, not sure what the problem is.
Stac do you know what tomorrow entail? H&M @ A-Station Grand Opening, finally!
By Dumped
June 12, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this
I don’t know how much tact was in his way of ‘letting me go’ but to say you’re leaving me after 2 years cause you still love your ex-wife and want to see if she’ll take you back then I find out two weeks later your dating another girl whose is NOT your ex-wife…I would have preferred the truth. Heck, he could have done it over the phone for all I cared but he still had stuff at my house. Sad thing is, I was planning to break it off anyway but not for another guy. It just wasn’t working for my life anymore which made it easier to move on (we were LD for the last 13 months).
By Foots
June 12, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this
SeanJ I’ll excuse you because you don’t date men, so you can’t possibly understand what I’m talking about (unless your preferences are up in the air). I’m talking about dudes that have to hold it with their thumb and forefinger. You just have to believe me when I say that some dudes wouldn’t even fill up a Cheerio. Real talk.
Dan Never heard tell of a woman telling a man to stop
I’m positive that you’ve never heard of it. What guy would actually tell another guy that a woman told him to stop?
By Foots
June 12, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this
ATLGuy I’m not attracted to you anymore” … its a cop out, they are attracted to someone else or they just want to be single. Thats straight up
Is that really a cop-out? That sounds like the entire truth to me. A cop-out would be “I’m just not ready for a committed relationship” and the dude is engaged to someone else in three months.
By The Truth
June 12, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this
Honesty is key. If a mate is cool then give em the soft version. It’s like surgery, no need to cause undue pain. If they violate give them the whole monty.
I told one chick that we couldn’t talk because i’d take a charge talking to her. My last breakup was the coolest tho. I just told her her performance had dropped off and that was unacceptable. Had to be honest.
Footsy how much do you need? Do you have a specific number?
Atl Lady were those to expensive? LOL Let me know.
By ATL Guy
June 12, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this
AmazonRed Thats my Point, be straight up and Honest on the Breakup. Exactly my Point, not sure what you’re trying to get at. Guess you didn’t read my Analogy huh!? Haha
Let me Teach You!
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this
you think you set yourself up to be burned by this guy?? Had to be warning flags
ATL Guy, not really. I moved for me, not him. He was just one of the reasons for the decision. I already decided that I was going to be happy whether he and I worked out or not. And if not, I was finally in a city where there was a better social scene for black professionals (I was living in cold New England before, I knew I was leaving, just didn’t know where).
By good Music
June 12, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this
Know who you are first before you try to be involved with someone. Alot of people are not honest with themselves, so therefore the foundation of their relationship is based upon dishonesty and the relationship(marriage) is going to fail(regardles if i takes 1-yr or 25-yrs) That’s why the divorce rate is so high because of people not being honest with themselves or their partners. The truth never hurts no one. It only exposes our real motives and intentions and most people can’t deal with that.
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this
Is that really a cop-out? That sounds like the entire truth to me. A cop-out would be “I’m just not ready for a committed relationship” and the dude is engaged to someone else in three months.
Foots, I completely agree. If he’s attracted to someone else, it means he’s not attracted to me MORE. And if he just wants to be single, it also means he’s not attracted to me enough to be in a relationship.
The guy told me that “he didn’t see our relationship progressing any further than it was right now.” All code for the same thing: “I’m just not that into you”
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this
Pray tell, what’s **LD?”
By Bit-O-Hunny
June 12, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this
I’ve tried to be tactful in letting the other person know that I was just not that into them. You have them persistant mofos that will not take no for an answer, which to me means that you’re not respecting my decision to no longer deal, and in such events, it tends to get ugly. Like Truth said, they get the whole monty.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this
@SJ
Right on the kiegel….there should be a class for single women after 6 months of them…toys
@AtlGuy
I can’t say that I haven’t lost an attraction to a woman, it happens. Maybe she make a face, say or do something that offends my core beliefs, whatever it is I have lost an attraction for a few women.
@Foots
“No, no, oooohhh stop” That I’ve heard. I’ve heard of guys working it for an hour and getting nowhere, I even heard from one of the homies that he almost lost his life to that struggle. But “it ain’t gone happen, just stop” strikes as maybe it was him….although how he got that far without being well liked…
Slim…answers?….
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this
ATL Guy - You’re right, I just skimmed the rest of your post. Good job man.
By QC
June 12, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this
Shhh, Cee-me-me i’m in class until 12 noon..i’m sneaking so fix some toast or something i gotta go
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
Leggs i was trying to figure what was LD also.
By ATL Guy
June 12, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
To Foots Damn Right its a cop out! How do you just one day become not attracted to someone!!! Just a strange breakup excuse.
True, at least the guy threw it out there but come on. Be on Point
By Dan
June 12, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
@Leggs
Panthro
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
June 12, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this
I see I’m being beckoned……you rang???
Getting It Off My Chest d*mn girl let us know how you really feel! Ouch! Life is too short to be that miserable. Throw ole boy the deuces and roll out!
Foots Ladies, have you ever told a guy that your three-year old little cousin is better hung than him? Or did you let your laughter tell the story Well I said something along the lines of: “If it were summer I would ask did you just get out of the pool”. Then he asked what I meant. I said, “well dudes are always hollering shrinkage due to cold water…but it’s February in NYC so we know that is not the case”. You think I hurt his feelings? I guess so because each time I spoke to him at work he looked at me funny. But he was the ladies man at the company until I got there and he started to sniff around Miss Staceye. Let’s just say the myth of well hung brothas was debunked! He did try to redeem himself a few months later. But I told him, “since fornication is a sin why waste one? I mean if I have to answer to God for it I better at least be able to say I enjoyed it. Fool me once…shame on me. Fool me twice…shame on me. Hell there won’t be a third!” Wow…not that I listen to what I said I guess I was kind of harsh. That’s that a Sag for you…no tact…fiterless mouths! Sexyleggs & ARED can feel me on that! But I am all for honesty. Why lie? Why say I find you so attractive when I really think you look like Shrek? Why say you are great in bed when all I can do is think of what I want to eat or should I wash clothes today or tomorrow when we are done?
Dan I’m sorry..did you name your joint after Panthro from Thunder Cats? Wow? Then I guess mine is Cheetarah! LOL
ARED * respected the hell out of him for finally giving it to me straight. And therefore we parted ways. Made getting over him a bit easier too, though it was still hard.* That is because you had closure. I don’t to be cottled. Give it to me straight with no chaser! I hate the ones who just disappear or make up some phoney excuse. Just say all I wanted was the azz! Yes I will think you are a dirty b*stard! But I could do nothing but respect that honesty!
Sexyleggs….I HAVE ARRIVED!
By Foots
June 12, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this
Truth how much do you need? Do you have a specific number?
Nothing specific. Just enough for me to have that look that Dan referenced earlier.
Did you see Chris Rock’s stand-up where he talked about how to know if you were of adequate size? He said that women give the Universal Response of “HELLO!!!”! LOL!!
Amazon Yeah, anything gets translated into “I’m just not that into you”. I gave that book to my cousin to read once because it helped me out so much. It really cuts through the BS and eliminates the need for further conversation when you realize that that is what he’s saying.
By The Truth
June 12, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this
Atl Guy How do you just one day become not attracted to someone!!! It happens. Usually over time but in a day you realize its over.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this
QC all i can scrounge up are some hot Krispy Kremes, leftover fruit, milk, coffee and smoothies. thats enough.
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this
Does LD = Long Distance?
By kimmie
June 12, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this
Foots - I heard that Micheal Baisden show yesterday. The Proactiv short guy you mentioned sounds like one of the cases on the show! And I don’t care what nobody says, I think ALL dudes fudge about their height! I mean, I’m just making 5’5 barefoot and I’ve had guys tell me they were 5’10 & 5’11 and we are looking at each other straight in the eye! In contrast, my dad was 5’10 and I used to think he was 6ft because it seemed like he towered over me. Kym - I totally agree with you on Baisden. I like his little show sometimes, but he has always thought he was the sh— and God’s gift to women! If he mentions wanting a woman who can do a Chinese split again so she can be “Mrs. Baisden”(in that high voice!), I think I am going to scream! And yes, he definitely looks short!
By Foots
June 12, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this
ATLGuy How do you just one day become not attracted to someone!!!
It happens more often than you think. Dan had a good point. If you say or do something that offends my core beliefs, I could lose attraction. Attraction is a combination of many things, not just how a person looks to you. I could lose attraction for a man who I discovered was a liar, or someone who I could no longer respect.
Chances are, I wouldn’t say “I’m not attracted to you anymore” when I broke it off, but really, that’s the whole crux of the issue. I’m not attracted or no longer bonded to you because of __.
For some people, attraction is a function of just looks. So plenty of folks say “I’m not attracted anymore” if their mate gains weight.
Either way, I think that it’s a valid reason to break it off. I mean, who wants to be with someone who’s not attracted to them anymore?
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this
LOL @ Staceye. Now that I think about it, it wasn’t THAT hard because I did have closure and I met someone new five days after our break up that is still in my life today. LOL
By ATL Guy
June 12, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this
Dan I know what you’re saying. Think people Change too on what is priorities if its career or whatever.
If its attraction like looks….nothing a Brown Paper Bag won’t fix. Hopefully it isn’t a Double Bag situation! Haha!
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this
BitOHoney, I call those folk “diehards” and yes they get the full monty.
Staceye, and I knew you would come in kicking the door down!
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this
Dan Yeah it was him. All the movement was in his body. He was swirming around on the ground like a snake but I’m thinking..DUDE what the hellz does that have to do with your MP (mouthpiece)?!! Then he was like, well maybe if i go grab some chocolate syrup it’ll feel better. Naw, bruh. You not about to make my CT into a Chocolate Slob Sundae.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this
@Stace
Cheetrah huh? Then it would never work with us you come too quickly when called! lol
Oh, and the pool line was cold….
@Foots
I’m just saying, dude may have tried harder becuase he was aware of his shortcomings…
@Truth
So right, you get that moment where you be like: “uh, don’t make that face no more” or when she say something really, like, dumb, like “how did you pass kindergarden?” dumb
By Foots
June 12, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this
Staceye But I told him, “since fornication is a sin why waste one? I mean if I have to answer to God for it I better at least be able to say I enjoyed it…Why say I find you so attractive when I really think you look like Shrek? Why say you are great in bed when all I can do is think of what I want to eat or should I wash clothes today or tomorrow when we are done?
Girl, you are TOO silly! LMAO!!
kimmie I mean, I’m just making 5’5 barefoot and I’ve had guys tell me they were 5’10 & 5’11 and we are looking at each other straight in the eye!
That reminds me of my dad. He even lied about being 5’8”. I love my daddy, but doggone it, we were the same height when I was 14 and barefoot. And I’m 5’ 5.75”! LOL!!
And yeah, I have to take a Baisden Break from time to time. He’s an arrogant something. But at least I can listen to him sometimes. I hate Frank Ski all the time.
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this
Ladies, have you ever told a guy that your three-year old little cousin is better hung than him? Or did you let your laughter tell the story?
Foots, I’m knocking on wood (no pun intended) right now. I’ve never encountered this!!!
By Atl Lady
June 12, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this
Truth Lol You ain’t right and you know it! I figured out something. He’ll like it although I know he’s going to try and pay me back some kind of way over the next few months.
On topic. When are you allowed to lose tact in a situation? I worked with a guy who gave me mixed signals about wanting to go out. Because we worked together, I really wasn’t interested. However, we shared the same taste is music so we shared CDs. This girl who also worked there on a different floor was ALWAYS in my face about him. He repeatedly lied and said they were nothing but friends. I couldn’t check her or him because it cause confusion on the job and nobody comes between me and my check. Should’ve done a drive-by after work ya think?
By The Truth
June 12, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this
Ladies, clear something up for the guys. I believe they think you all get large dildos to pleasure yourself thus streching you out. Most of the women I know own small vibrators for clitoral stimulation. What is it? Kong or throbbin?
Foots cool enough.
Ared I like you’re honesty.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this
@Slim (and the other ladies)
You can tell a lot about a man’s “techinque” prior to the experimentation. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s in the kiss. If you gotta wipe your neck after a few quick ones, then you should already know. If he be on some crazy tongue action, then that’s a clue too.
I once dated a girl, and when she “took control” the lower half of her body didn’t move, it was complete “head & shoulders” routine. I had to stop, and we never tried that again….
By Dan
June 12, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this
@Atl Lady
…A drive by after work…
Two things: 1) if you weren’t interested, why care?
And 2)why would the thought of semi stalking occur to you before being a woman and asking ole boy?
I’mma need you to get counseling
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this
Kimmie/Foots, I’ve been wondering since I first heard the phrase…what the heck is a Chinese split?
By SeanJohnson3000
June 12, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this
@ Foots……sorry for the disapointments in the past…but the analogy of a 2 liter is a bit much…had you said a 20oz..i could help you out….
By abc
June 12, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this
Truth, I find it ironic that with a topic of honesty vs. tact and good manners, you’d wax inappropriately crude. Not surprising though; I expect some chicks will actually respond to that kind of BS.
Be a gentleman; be a lady. I suppose if you aren’t, you just simply aren’t, and if you allow yourself to be treated poorly by an oaf, you’ve reaped what you sowed. Go after a better caliber of person next time. Be a better caliber of person yourself. Have more respect for the other person. Don’t be so casual with the people you date that you’d so easily discard them; if they don’t mean any more than that, don’t date them.
By For Real
June 12, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this
What up blog fam!
When I first read this topic my mind immediately went to the movie Anchorman. Remember that scene when he was introducing himself to the new anchorlady with a hard on.
Foots If I would have know you felt that way I would not have kept calling you. For the record my wang ain’t little it’s just thin.
Slim Ohhhhhh so you gonna put me on blast huh??? I told you my wisdom teeth was coming in but noooooooooooo you just had to have my patented earmuffintectomy didn’t you. Oh and men don’t like it when yall put the leg clamps on us. We can’t fuggin breeva!!!
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this
Ared I like you’re honesty.
Truth - Women talk and my girls have told me stories of guys hung like AA batteries! Trust me, if I had encountered it I’d share. I usually attract the ones that are trying to break me in two… :-O
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this
You’re right Truth small vibrators like the silver bullett. I had a girlfriend way back in the day buy me a huge, black, thick ding dong. I still have it and I’m still afraid of it (LOL).
By Atl Lady
June 12, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this
Truth I wasn’t going to touch that, but why not? It depends on the need for that moment. That’s why some women have more than one. Sometimes you need that deep sensation thus the Kong or sometimes you need a ‘quickie’ thus the throb.
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this
Ladies, clear something up for the guys. I believe they think you all get large dildos to pleasure yourself thus streching you out. Most of the women I know own small vibrators for clitoral stimulation. What is it? Kong or throbbin?
Truth - I don’t own any toys. Uh…”manual” stimulation is just fine for me.
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this
Oh no you didn’t go there ForReal, I’ve heard about you guys holding the back of woman’s head and pressing her face to your manhood. They don’t like that either!!! (LOL)
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this
For the record my wang ain’t little it’s just thin.
LMAO.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this
wow…seriously…
and where is Kara?
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this
Foots You just have to believe me when I say that some dudes wouldn’t even fill up a Cheerio OMG…ROTFLMAO!!!
Truth MAN! Speaking of dildo’s…I went to Piedmont park this past Saturday for a softball game. I parked in a nearby neighborhood and walked to the park. On my short walking stint i see an empty plastic dildo container. That sucka was HUGE..at least 4 inches thick. Just seeing how big that thang was made me do a quick keigel. LOL! But even more so I was wondering who the hell couldn’t wait to get home to use it, since they discarded it on the sidewalk.
By Foots
June 12, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this
Truth I think that some guys are confused too, but it just shows how much they really know about women, that’s all. Mine is about an inch in diameter and about two inches long. Outside only, just like you describe.
SeanJ but the analogy of a 2 liter is a bit much…had you said a 20oz..i could help you out
LMAO!! I dated a guy about 10 years ago who was afraid to even turn the light on the first time we were together because he didn’t want me to leave. He said that he had a few women that changed their minds once they saw the 2-liter up close and personal.
Dan If you gotta wipe your neck after a few quick ones, then you should already know. If he be on some crazy tongue action, then that’s a clue too.
That’s gross, but true.
SexyLeggs what the heck is a Chinese split?
I’m not sure, but I think it’s that split where both legs are out to the side. I pulled my groin muscle just visualizing it. LOL!
By kimmie
June 12, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this
Leggs - I “think” a Chinese split is when you are able to sit face-forward and have your legs split so wide that they are spread out completely on either side of you. Your legs are in a straight line. Not completely sure though. Foots - Ditto on Frank Ski, he’s a name-dropping, no-neck wannabe! On topic - I too was brought up in the there’s a right way to say anything, a slip of the lip can sink a ship school! I have always been careful in how I say things to any man, and for the most part, they have been the same with me. There have been a few that have said things that hurt to this day when I think about them. They were just so unnecessary too. And there was one guy that showed his a$$ with me so bad, I had to throw tact out of the window and go to the gutter with him! I was not my usual lady self and it is still a moment I’m not proud of. So I do believe in total honesty, but if a person ever meant ANYTHING to you, you can find a kind way to say anything to them and still be honest. Also, some folk will straight snap on you, so it’s best to tread lightly.
By Foots
June 12, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this
abc Don’t be so casual with the people you date that you’d so easily discard them; if they don’t mean any more than that, don’t date them.
I thought that’s what dating was for, to get to know them so you see whether or not you develop meaningful feelings? For me to even leave the house for a date, I have to see something in that man. If upon closer inspection and more time spent I don’t see what I thought I saw initially or nothing develops, then I cut it off. Sometimes you just realize that they don’t move you to care one way or the other, you don’t really like or dislike them. At that point, it’s best for you and him to keep it moving.
When it comes to relationships, that’s a different story altogether.
For Real You stoopid!
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
June 12, 2008 11:03 AM | Link to this
Oh Danny Boy…since when is that a bad thing for a girl? That means you would have less work to do! LMAO
Truth I guess I should buy those pleasure pantines. They are panties that vibrate. In Londan a lady was wearing them int he grocery store and had an “O” so great she fainted. When the paramedics arrived she was still out but her panties were like the Energizer bunny…they kept going and going and going! LOL Hey..the V doesn’t stretch with those. But on the real…women push babies out and it snaps back form what I was told. Since I nvere had akid I can’t vouch for it. So if that is truth…their ain’t a toy out there that can damage the snapper! Now bar stools are another story!
SExyleggs A chinese split is a split where you face foward and your legs are opened directly to the side. I have not done one in a while..I doubt if I can still do it. IO know I can do a regular split. I do those to keep my agility for dance..but the Chinese one is no joke.
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this
SlimOne, the horny, freaky, let’s throw caution to the wind type of person couldn’t wait!
By mytwocents
June 12, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this
Nemo You must know tank talk is bout tryna live vicariously rather than speak maliciously. Just wanna harrass me cuz I’m wholesome. Kinda
Good one to ponder cuz ‘boyz will be boyz’, ‘bros b4 hose’, ‘$$ ova snitches’ type mentality means u gotta be d@mn sure…Also depends on the nature cuz I’m pretty liberal w/ what i find offensive. Most likely to just remove me from equation/ future interactions after a few unmistaken but indirect verbals & if pressed say John-John’s sexual innuendos makes me uncomfy. Blatant comment? That’s disrespectful! And apology or not, the specifics would be brought to his attn immediately and let’s hope very lil alcohol involved. Now I had to tell a gf’s guy to calm the bleep down on the dance flo once but chalked it up to the Absolut.
By Foots
June 12, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this
Slim But even more so I was wondering who the hell couldn’t wait to get home to use it, since they discarded it on the sidewalk.
LMAO!! LMAO!! WOW!
Staceye Bar Stools!!??!! LOL! kimmie No Neck!!?!? LOL!!
Oh my goodness! Y’all have me rolling ova here!
By Atl Lady
June 12, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this
Dan I did confront him about her more than once. He was lying the entire time. All I wanted him to do was check her about running up in my face at work because I didn’t want to lose my job. You know you can’t even bring a weapon on the premises nowadays or that is grounds for termination. I realized from talking with other people who had worked with both of them a lot longer than I, that he was using her for sex, money, and eventually a place to stay. She had issues far greater than anyone walking around on two legs could handle. Like the Churchlady would say, she needed Jesus. She needed a true touch of the Holy Spirit. I don’t work there anymore and I stopped speaking to him long before I left.
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this
QC i’m all smiles. thanks for asking. u ok? i heard the last storm was a doozey. i won’t be missing those. lol.
on topic guys in my past, being blunt with me would have saved me a lot of time. they knew what i wanted from them from day one. but no regrets. i have caught myself just recently being blunt. i found out that it works and he complimented me on doing that, being blunt. it’s nice when both parties know what’s on the table.
By The Truth
June 12, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this
ABC I don’t live as high on the horse as you. I meet people, we hang, and if at some point I see things I can’t cope with I deal with it then. In some senses I’m not a gentlemen. I use whatever tool is in the toolbox to get the job done. I’m not regulated by common trains of thought.
What’s really ironic is that you hold yourself to a seemingly “higher” standard yet your experiences have been far worse than mine. Not only that but you hold onto the aftermath much more than I do. I have experiences, process it and move on. You are still holding onto events that happened appearently years ago.
If you’re system for finding mates was so good you wouldn’t have met all the “liars” and gone through the divorces you have. Take a moment and think about your own situation before you try to correct mine “Mr Perfect”.
BTW, since you’re checking everyone else you may want to move that chick out that’s living with you out of wedlock, and on your dime. I doubt if your priest would approve of that.
Now, tell me what was so crude.
An american split is where you’re facing one of your feet. Like taking a huge step forward. A chinese split is where your legs are wide open to the side and you’re facing straight ahead. Chinese split is much harder to do.
Ared I was talking about your posts in general. If something hurts you you just say it hurts.
I didn’t think most owned the kong toys. You’ve confirmed my suspicions. foots that is about the size they have.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this
Good one to ponder cuz ‘boyz will be boyz’, ‘bros b4 hose’, ‘$$ ova snitches’ type mentality means u gotta be d@mn sure…
Now I had to tell a gf’s guy to calm the bleep down on the dance flo once but chalked it up to the Absolut.
And you get the raw end of it to have to ‘deal’ AND ‘tell it’ or just blantantly go off.
It’s enough emotions with all that that’ll make you go shell or closet like… for me at least.
…wow..now i’m Nemo.
By Bit-O-Hunny
June 12, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this
Staceye as a true Sag, I can say that I enjoy deflating the oversexed, underperformed, ill-advised male ego. Some dudes just need to be told. It’s not far to society to perpetuate the myth that all black men are hung like a horse. It just ain’t so. If I had to throw out statistics, I would say that 1:3. Of course, hung is relative.
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this
… had to throw tact out of the window and go to the gutter with him! I was not my usual lady self and it is still a moment I’m not proud (ROFL)…see I would have been so proud of that moment. I know, I know, I’m warpped.
I’m with all of you on Frank Ski. When he first arrived he was da bomb. Really, he was. He brought some music w/him that Atlanta needed to hear. When he played Dr. Buzzard and The Savannah Band, I was hooked on his style. Now, all he is is a name-dropping, conceited, in your face DJ.
Ok, a Chinese split is something I know I can’t do. Can you say OUCH!
By abc
June 12, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this
Truth, your crudeness is self-evident, and needs no elucidation by me.
I take the high road, always. That others don’t do so is also obvious. That doesn’t change the way I will conduct myself. Regarding my living situation, you don’t know what you seem to think you know. As if I’d post actual particulars about it on a blog!
By The Truth
June 12, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this
Similac do you know of any bruh’s that volunteer in that diving program?
By Willie Dynamite
June 12, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this
Late morning all,
I can honestly say tact is not my strong suit. Being a Sag I’ve heard plenty of time that I coulda found a betta way to say something. i’m working on it and it is a work in progress.
Fellas we hearing so much about men being told about there prowess or lack thereof. Have you had to tell a chick that her puddy just aint hitting on nothing? I know some of the chicks will say the man just wasn’t hitting it right. Yeah whatever, these chicks act like ery1 of them got a cape flying out they azz or something. Contrary to popular belief it is some bad puddy out there.
By Bit-O-Hunny
June 12, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this
SexyLeggs Franki Ski has fallen victim to local celebritism, it’s a fast moving contagious disease. Elle Duncan also has a case.
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this
For Real Honey bear booty pot..I didn’t put you on blast, you did it for me. And what the hellz a wisdom toof got to do with my earmuffilectomy?! The only time i put the clamp on is when i need you to back the fugg up off me. ‘ooohhhh weee, it’s SEN-si-TIVE! lol
TruthiePoo I’m mostly a ‘manual…au naturale’ self pleasure…BUT there are times where i want something a lil extra and i turn to my fellow Bullet. All that scary over-the-top toys is not for me…Although I do get a lil turned on when I watch shows like “Real Sex’ on hbo and them chicks be using those POWER TOOL Contractions.
Slim now trying to figure out a way to turn her Swiffer Mop into a SuperDrillDildo
SexyL For some odd reason, I immediately envision some cross dressed man as the culprit. Ewwwww!
By Dan
June 12, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this
@abc
You have a point.
But there has been a schizm (sp?), in dating. There is no longer dating to find someone compatible, but now theres:
dating for status
dating for money
dating for access (shows, movies, fame, et al)
dating for fun
And in those cases since their are different objectives, there is a differest standard of communication and set of manners.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this
mytwo
Once as a mediator of a fight b/c one gf was trying to tell the wife (which is my friend) that hubby made advance at her. Gurl it was some experience. Now at the end of it he confessed and the mouthy/fiesty wife looked sooo bad. Needless to say that young lady (wife) is not social w/ us anymore but still married and hanging in there w/Mr. Grope. She still speaks with me every 15th moon but it’s like she’s still embarrassed. I yet invite her to social gatherings…but i’m not in “Roman” (so to speak) so i couldn’t relate to that type discomfiture that i’m sure she feels.
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this
Ared I was talking about your posts in general. If something hurts you you just say it hurts.
Truth - Oh, okay. LOL. Yeah, that mess hurts. I can talk about my hurtful experiences because they don’t break me. I’d rather count my blessings than my defeats.
But thanks man!
Oh and by the way, if a girl is stretched out it’s not a dildo, usually it the guy(s) that have been there before.
And some guys are just small.
By spirchall
June 12, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this
LOL Slim now trying to figure out a way to turn her Swiffer Mop into a SuperDrillDildo too funny!
By abc
June 12, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this
Dan, there’s no excuse for bad manners. The reason people lack manners has to do specifically with the way they were raised — manners are learned from parents, grandparents, etc.
I can’t tolerate people with bad manners, no matter the capacity in which we meet or associate. I think that to date with goals of status, money, access, or just for kicks is, in itself, bad manners.
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this
SlimOne, you envisioned that only because of where you were (Piedmont Park area).
WillieD, no doubt there’s some bad puddy out there. If there’s bad d….it’s only reasonable to believe there’s bad p…..as well.
Well said = since their are different objectives, there is a differest standard of communication and set of manners.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this
Truth, there are more men than women. but (bruh’s not 1) and the volunteer program consists of biology students grad & undegrad. But you know it’s just “my new try thang” i have a whiles to go, so i lag/follow the group as such. = my new hobbie.
Gray same anatomy…what’s the difference? = well/how kept.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this
@ARed
Haahahahahhha! trying to break me in half Yep!!!!
@Slim
You lie!!! when the clamps come down y’all start that “wait, wait, right there…wait wait” stuff! I can’t breathe!!!!Hurry your azz up!!!!!!!!And let me get some air!!!
@WD
That’s the whole point, for every babe that think she sitting on that Fie when she really got that Slushy (not that there not a time for that) I have a quiet chuckle.
If I had a dollar for every babe that bragged on her stuff, as we are often accused of doing only to find her running…cause Panthro got muscles I’d be rich!!!
And fellas all know the type, all mouth no work….Ms. Foots…j/k
By The Truth
June 12, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this
ABC you obviously have a higher sense of yourself than those who have spent time with you. I know it must be hard living in those closed up walls you call a world. Here’s a tip. Life is for the living. Sometimes in doing that you make mistakes. Suck it up, make corrections and move on.
Also, you seem to think the blog/internet is some form of low lifes yet you post here often and have dated women from the internet dating sites. It appears you actually look down at blogsville, as if we are less than you. Why would we be any lower than the women you’ve chosen to date from the net? And just the fact that you’ve been “reduced” to surfing the net for companionship doesn’t say much for the high and mighty “ABC”. If your product is so great you should have potentials lining up.
You need to check that snobbery at the door. It doesn’t suit you. I can feel you looking down your nose in your posts. You ain’t cut like that buddy.
Slim now you know you’re likely to find ANYTHING at piedmont park. Be glad some cat wasn’t out cold in the bushes with that thing lodged in him. LOL
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this
Willie D We never said that there wasn’t some bad P out there. I’m more than positive I’ve had some blah days for whatever reason…plus no one’s ever told me otherwise. Sort of like, if a chick has never said how small your peter is, you’d assume it was at least average, right? However, I have had guy friends tell me about their sexcapades and frankly ya’ll know you be cracking me up.
I remember a friend of mine telling me about the first time a particular married chick he was messing with gave him the BJ for the first time. SCORE!!!
By Dan
June 12, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this
@abc
Manners is a matter of perspective. It’s more cultural than anything.
For instance, say you riding with a babe that likes to put her feet out the window as you drive…that doesn’t make her less mannerable, that’s just what she’s accustomed to doing. If you feel disinfected then you’d speak to her about it.
Or, you’re dating a woman that talks while chewing and expectorant is everywhere. She just may not know any better.
I feel you on holding people accountable for their words and actions, but, you have to understand that not everyone was raised like you, thinks like you, feels about certain things like you do, etc. If you are to judge, judge them not from your prespective, base you judgement on theirs.
By Dumped
June 12, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this
Sorry…stepped away..
Yes “LD” = Long Distance.
It was still a pretty crappy excuse. Even tho the truth hurts, it would have been better to hear.
By Foots
June 12, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this
Dan *But there has been a schizm (sp?), in dating. There is no longer dating to find someone compatible, but now theres:
dating for status
dating for money
dating for access (shows, movies, fame, et al)
dating for fun*
Now how could you forget the main reasons that plenty guys (and plenty of women, I guess) out here date? Dating for Companionship and Dating for Azz. Only one guy on here has said that he’s dating to find someone to marry and that’s Darrell.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this
10min til lunch.
Ms. Leggs i didn’t see your lunch comment yesturday until late (blaming 2+hr lunch). You mind sharing the slaw, beef short ribs, potato salad, deviled eggs, corn on the cobb and salad with a sista?
btw- that is a great father’s day menu.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this
@abc
PS an interesting quote:
“My God told me to be a Witness, not a Judge”
Just thougt it’d help
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this
Dan - I think bragging on the girth of one’s equipment is lame. Not only that but being overly endowed is not a turn on for many women, despite what you think Cosmo magazine tells us.
I think men and women are after the same thing…a good fit.
By abc
June 12, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this
No snob am I, Truth, but I’m no idiot either. That’s under your purview, apparently.
Nor are any aspersions I would cast upon a blog as communications medium directed strictly at the participants. It’s openly accessible from the Internet at large, and posting personal things in such a venue is obvious folly.
By Dumped
June 12, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this
Sorry…stepped away..
Yes “LD” = Long Distance.
It was still a pretty crappy excuse. Even tho the truth hurts, it would have been better to hear.
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this
Only one guy on here has said that he’s dating to find someone to marry and that’s Darrell.
yep!
By Foots
June 12, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this
Dan Oh, I put in work that you’ll never know about. But I do find it funny that you were the very first dude to respond to my size question. LOL!!
Truth Be glad some cat wasn’t out cold in the bushes with that thing lodged in him. LOL
I just threw up a little in my mouth off that one.
If you feel disinfected then you’d speak to her about it.
For Real Can you do a skit about feeling disinfected?? LOL!
By mytwocents
June 12, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this
Cee Don’t envy you that referee role. AWKWARD Wonder if lessons were learned on both ends. Hope that marriage is stronger after. All reminds me of a hypo asked the other day. If out and see a pal’s man dining w/ a lady, what would I do? I’m like do? Not sure anything needs to be done except speak as I normally would. My theory~ If sumthin’s amiss he’ll end up tellin on self outta nervousness alone thinkin I told. Response was Rejected! But gf has a far diff shoot first temperment than me. What do you think? PS once you progress to using suit, can be Lil Mermaid, k?
By Dan
June 12, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this
Now Foots…
I was talking about the guys I know that date trying to find a wife…
Like Truth, I just like to hang, get to know a person, and what happens happens…
But rest assured there are men and women that date strictly for the purpose of getting married (or a least serious enough to get to married)it’s just that few people will openly admit it…or give it to you straight…
you like how I did that, shout out to Socrates, logic like a mufu…
By Bit-O-Hunny
June 12, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this
Somebody ate abc’s Corn Pops this morning….Geez, simmer down folks. Truth back in your corner, abc here take this freeze pop.
Bit-O-Hunny breaking out the 200 for $2.50 box of freeze pops
By Lady J
June 12, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this
testing…
By Foots
June 12, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this
abc posting personal things in such a venue is obvious folly.
Well, we do know that you think that your woman and all women in general are liars… You think she’d be upset if she read that you felt that way?
By Dan
June 12, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this
@Ared
I’m in the lab working on an inflatable condom for the guys that “just can’t get comfortable with (in) her”….
I need a test subject…what you doing tomorrow….j/k
By Atl Lady
June 12, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this
Dumped I feel like giving you a hug. Consider yourself hugged.
Darrell I know you’re out there lurking. We still love you. Come on back! :-)
Dan Well said.
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this
your 11:13 was beautiful. well said.
By Lady J
June 12, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this
testing…
By Dan
June 12, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this
@Foots
I’m a Taurus
Strong like bull and built like one, take that any way you want to
By Lady J
June 12, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this
testing…
By Foots
June 12, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this
Dan I was talking about the guys I know that date trying to find a wife…
Oh, okay. It just sounded like you were talking about people that dated for status, money, access and fun, I guess cause that’s what you said.
So, for which reason(s) do you date?
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this
Atl Lady spoke to him this a.m. he’s done!
By Foots
June 12, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this
HunnyBit No, no!! Let them go! SexyLeggs and I are still getting the popcorn and pineapple Fanta ready…
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this
But rest assured there are men and women that date strictly for the purpose of getting married (or a least serious enough to get to married)it’s just that few people will openly admit it…or give it to you straight…
Dan - What is so hard about admitting to that? That’s what I date for. I don’t date just for kicks or any other other silly reason like to get a free meal.
Ultimately, I date because I want to get married and have kids. You say you want to “see what happens” but there must be some end goal in mind. I hardly think you’d want to still be dating with no purpose in your 70s.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this
@Foots
I don’t date…I meet women that I am attracted to or intrigued by and try to get to know more about them. I have never really dated at all. Just hang out with what for me are “cool babes”.
What happens after that….
But I was speaking on the change in dating in general. Now I came up with the thought process that abc has, but experience and time have taught me to interpret and adapt to my surroundings, thus the preceding comment
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this
If out and see a pal’s man dining w/ a lady, what would I do?
If sumthin’s amiss he’ll end up tellin on self outta nervousness alone thinkin I told.
That’s exactly what he did…he keep looking into my gurls eye and @ me looking like a new calf…he obliged all truth. Never wanna be in that set agian.
Lil Mermaid? hmph i’m game…i should change my nametag. I hope there’s some affiliation w/Disney$$$ Lol Well, buy the time they finish/finalize the Dolphin Exhibit i hope i have this dip thing under wraps. <—-my goal.
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this
foots dating for marriage … i found out the hard way that that’s not the way to go. i date to have a good time.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this
LadyJ come on in with your new greeks.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this
HI Beautiful! How is home?
going to grab a salad, brb.
By The Truth
June 12, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this
Similac I ask because I have an old buddy that volunteers to dive at the aquarium. I’ll check and see if he still does it. I think he cleans the tank. Tall, slim dark skinned cat with a bald head. If you met him you’d remember him. The cat is a riot. BTw, you’re next assignment is to put on your goggles and fins and clean my shower. I’ll hold the safety rope.
For folks claiming bad booty, remember it takes 2 to tango. That wack to you is fiya to someone else. Personally I’ve never had wack that I wasn’t partly responsible for. Either just not feeling the chick or the time I was so drunk that…Nevermind.
Staceye I’ve always wanted to get a butterfly for my ex with a wireless remote that “I” keep. It would be cool to walk around jolting that chick whenever you wanted to.
Truth: What do you want to eat?
Chick: I was thinking of lobster
Zap, Zap, Zap Big O
Chick: I’m not hungry. Can we go so I can take a nap.
ABC you’ve told us about personal issues. Is that folly? And taking the high road would have been saying nothing. I’ve met uptight cats like you. They’re the most unhappy mf’ers walking. You think the world is going to bend to suit your needs but the world doesn’t give a fugg what you think. And thats the joy in life. Do what makes you happy because nobody gives a fugg, they’re to busy trying to find their own happiness.
Darrell has tougher skin than we give him credit for. Dude has taken some serious barrages and is still standing. He’ll be back, after he heals. LOL
Dan I have never really dated at all. Just hang out with what for me are “cool babes”. Co-sign. just meet folks that are interesting and see where it goes.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this
@ARed
Yeah, I want to see what happens…and no, prayerfully, I won’t be “dating” into my 70’s.
I can’t make one of the biggest decisions of my life based on age, race, time, or anyone else’s conception of how I “should” live my life or who/what I “should” be doing.
I’m just not built like that, I have to take it how it comes. To clarify a bit, I’m proactive in almost every other pursuit/dream/goal that I set for myself, except relationships. Relationships I take on Faith…much like the Faith that allows me to set and achieve those goals and aspirations.
@Darrell
If you’re out there, I’d think that being a Black Man, coming from Atlanta, being in banking and being a Republican, you’d be stronger than to let anyone stop you from expressing yourself in a given forum.
Other than your political views, my friend we are more alike than you know. I’d hate to see the level of discourse in this forum be lessened without your presence. Although I may not agree with your views sometimes (as others may not) please don’t take the comments to heart.
It is quasi-entertainment….but it can be informative…
While I may not have the standing to say this, I will anyway…come back homie…you can’t leave me with Blow and her no spelling azz….
Ceemeli, let ‘em know
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this
Foots, I’m scared of you. While reading Truths 11:40, I glanced over at the triage table to make sure supplies weren’t needed.
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this
I don’t date…I meet women that I am attracted to or intrigued by and try to get to know more about them. I have never really dated at all. Just hang out with what for me are “cool babes”.
Hmm…so you’re getting to know them all while spending time with them, breaking bread with them and having sex with them…I’m sure you’ve also had girlfriends in your past…
Sounds like dating to me. Why can’t folks just call things what they are?
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
June 12, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this
Beautiful Welcome back! LOL
B.O.H I forgto your were a Sag too! Girl it is great to let the air out fo some dudes heads that think that they are the lover that God put on earth as a gift to us ladies! Mojitos to you my sag sista!
ARED And some guys are just small. You must be talking about Mr. Slippy…you know the dude with the short lil pencil that keeps slipping out because its a pebble in the puddy ocean so it keeps gettig washed ashore with every wave of motion? LMAO
By Foots
June 12, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this
Dan I meet women that I am attracted to or intrigued by and try to get to know more about them. I have never really dated at all. Just hang out with what for me are “cool babes”.
Is that just semantics though?
Beautiful dating for marriage … i found out the hard way that that’s not the way to go. i date to have a good time.
It depends on the situation, but these things aren’t usually mutually exclusive. It takes a lot for me to leave the house, so no, I’m not going out with somebody who I’m not interested in just to have a good time. I know how to have a good time if it’s just me and some old Bobby Brown CDs. Personally, I have a much better time dating someone who I’m compatible with and who is looking for the same things I am. It doesn’t have to be that specific to say “I’m gonna marry YOU”, but at this point in my life, if dude is just out to have a good time and can’t see any strings in his future, with anybody, he’s not for me.
If you would like a family in the future, would you go on date after date with (and get closer to) a man who didn’t want that just because he showed you a good time?
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this
While I may not have the standing to say this, I will anyway…come back homie…you can’t leave me with Blow and her no spelling azz
Dan I bet Darrell is sorry for even opening his mouth to that pyscho telling his business on here. If he is done, I’m certainly sure he didn’t want an announcement made. I mean, isn’t his sister still on here and she said nothing?
Good grief. Psycho can you please get some friends or at the very least some business of your own?
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this
cee home is great! my home coming was like i expected it to be. warm/welcoming. i miss all the black men though. i’ll be back in the spring to visit.
sexy i have a buddy who reminds me of you, same age. she’s my clubbin’ partner. lol.
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this
Dan - In regards to your 12:16 to me, that all still sounds like you have a purpose in mind. When it happens who knows but you might as well acknowledge that it’s a possibility that “hanging out” will lead to marriage.
And that you do actually date.
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this
Dan You lie!!! when the clamps come down y’all start that “wait, wait, right there…wait wait” stuff! I can’t breathe!!!!Hurry your azz up!!!!!!!!And let me get some air!!! Well that applies to some chicks, as we all react differently. Cuz for the most part, the explicitives that emerge from my mouth are rarely comprehendable.
By Lady J
June 12, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this
CeeCee I forgot I post honey!!! LOL I am @ another school for the summer and just seeing will this browser cut the fool on me as I refuse to carry a laptop bag…It is not that serious and too hot too!!! Thanks CeeCee
By Kym aka Enchantress Divine
June 12, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this
Okay seems like the dead have risen…What did I miss?
By Poppa Grande
June 12, 2008 12:29 PM | Link to this
*Dan *But there has been a schizm (sp?), in dating. There is no longer dating to find someone compatible, but now theres:
dating for status
dating for money
dating for access (shows, movies, fame, et al)
dating for fun*
Now how could you forget the main reasons that plenty guys (and plenty of women, I guess) out here date? Dating for Companionship and Dating for Azz. Only one guy on here has said that he’s dating to find someone to marry and that’s Darrell.*
IMO there is only one real reason that people date….for knowledge of self.
As you go through it, you may not see it that way. However, I can honestly say that my single dating days taught me about me.
It taught me more about what I was willing to tolerate and (maybe more importantly) not tolerate than the person that I was dating.
By Lady J
June 12, 2008 12:29 PM | Link to this
CeeCee I forgot I post honey!!! LOL I am @ another school for the summer and just seeing will this browser cut the fool on me as I refuse to carry a laptop bag…It is not that serious and too hot too!!! Thanks CeeCee
By Lady J
June 12, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this
CeeCee I forgot I post honey!!! LOL I am @ another school for the summer and just seeing will this browser cut the fool on me as I refuse to carry a laptop bag…It is not that serious and too hot too!!! Thanks CeeCee
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this
foots no i wouldn’t. and no i wouldn’t go out on a date with someone i’m not interested in. i just don’t have marriage on my mind when out. i used to.
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
June 12, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this
Truth I would never let you hold my remote! LOL You’s make sure I jolt in the weirdest places and at the weirdest times!
By Lady J
June 12, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this
Lordy it did triple post ok I am out!! Don’t blast me out! Sorry crew! Enjoy your afternoon! Peace!
By Lady J
June 12, 2008 12:33 PM | Link to this
Lordy it did triple post ok I am out!! Don’t blast me out! Sorry crew! Enjoy your afternoon! Peace!
By QC
June 12, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this
LMAO…Darrell is not going through a blog healing process, he’s not in therapy, he’s not lurking…he’s working He does not regret nothing he said on this blog..and yes he will be back; i’ll let him know he’s being thought of :) Beautiful I’m doing well thanks just staying busy.
By Lady J
June 12, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this
Lordy it did triple post ok I am out!! Don’t blast me out! Sorry crew! Enjoy your afternoon! Peace!
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this
IMO there is only one real reason that people date….for knowledge of self.
It taught me more about what I was willing to tolerate and (maybe more importantly) not tolerate than the person that I was dating.
Poppa Grande - I like that.
By QC
June 12, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this
Darrell is a grown man ARed he handles his own; it’s all good :) Hey Staceye
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this
Tall, slim dark skinned cat with a bald head….i think he cleans the tank
Lol,^^ that’s what you do in the DIP Program - clean the tank…the professional divers (none volunteer) are there for test/video/pictures.
nah…hadn’t seen him yet. But every session there are 1-2 new/old that pop in. I love talking w/the Coastal girls and they are so TINY and very biological. It’s funny the more time i spend their, the less i want seafood. I have got to be careful, that is my favorite cuisine!
I’d hate to see the level of discourse in this forum be lessened without your presence.
It is quasi-entertainment….but it can be informative…
Beautiful is back, LadyJ put on flip-flaps and came off the beach for air and i’m sure others will or won’t be affected by comments, or none at all.
Now Dan, why would not QC be the best to share w/ her brother. Stuck, thinking…Cee???
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this
Thank you QC for your 12:35. I don’t know why folks pay that weirdo any mind. We have all seen that screw get looser and looser.
By QC
June 12, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this
Great post PoppaG
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this
Beautiful we’re just pass Memorial Day and nice sunny weekends. I gotta ask you this on thing? Have you eaten any BBQ? :)
Glad to read you…and glad to hear you are well.
QC thanks for clearing that up. And where is your Blue?
By Foots
June 12, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this
Poppa It taught me more about what I was willing to tolerate and (maybe more importantly) not tolerate than the person that I was dating.
Now that’s true. I can say the same.
By QC
June 12, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this
Welcome ARed i’m signing off for a while, i’m taking 2 Dads in my office to lunch…
By Poppa Grande
June 12, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this
ARed Thanks, but it is the truth.
As I stated, I didn’t realize it at the time. So, it is look a dating with retrospection.
It makes since now. There are no guarantees when you start dating something that it will lead to marriage with that particular person.
With the exception of Elizabeth Taylor and Pamela Anderson, you don’t marry everybody that you date.
So, the chances that the person that you are dating will be “the one” are slim.
Go with the flow to a certain extent, maybe “God is trying to tell you something.”
The Color Purple song reference is for Cee
Also by the use of the word “you” in the statements above, I don’t mean you personally, Amazon Red.
By Kym aka Enchantress Divine
June 12, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this
PoppaG Nice one…and I agree whole heartedly. Even now some of the things I know I need to work on within myself I actually recongize it and stop and go ohhh I better not even go that route..Hmmmm I think Tolle should get some credit for that too.
Say something For Real-I dare you
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this
PoppaG don’t think you even have to be single and dating (casually). You can have conversations with the opposite sex and you know what you will/will not tolerate. But great post to say the least.
By QC
June 12, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this
Welcome Cee-me-me
Not sure where da BlueK is…
I’m out
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this
QC
Welcome ARed i’m signing off for a while, i’m taking 2 Dads in my office to lunch…
Gurl, your husband is in for a treat.
dang…will you marry me?
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this
Poppa Grande - All good points. I don’t think any of us are saying date with thinking everyone is “the one” My point is to accept that your desired outcome is to be married, if that is your ultimate desire.
For instance, I went to Cal and my desire was to get a degree. Didn’t mean I didn’t party my azz off! But I knew I needed to focus enough to get the job done and that is also probably the reason why I finished in 4 years instead of 5 or 6.
Enjoy your life, keep it light, but have a purpose in what you do.
Most people who don’t get what they want is because they don’t know what they want or don’t prepare for what they want.
By The Truth
June 12, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this
Staceye I’d love to have your remote. I’d have your unit turbocharged and get hella long life batteries. Oh the fun I would have. LOL
Poppa gotta co sign that 1251. Sometimes the joy is spending time with someone that while you wouldn’t want anything longterm, you could learn something from. And sex nor dropping cash have to be in the formula.
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this
Sometimes the joy is spending time with someone that while you wouldn’t want anything longterm, you could learn something from. And sex nor dropping cash have to be in the formula.
Isn’t that called friendship? LOL
By Dan
June 12, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this
@Ared and Foots
I’mma go with PG on what he said, becuase truly it’s not just about the other person. Your interactions with some people will show you a lot about who you are, and like PG said, what you will and won’t stand for.
So that’s my answer to “dating”…
@Slim
You fenna quit tellin them tall tales woman…you darn well you put that grip on right about……then
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this
…Lakers or Celtics? PoppaG Is Hawks organization seriously thinking about singing Avery? Is Mike W. contract exp/leaving?
By Poppa Grande
June 12, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this
Kym I’ve read some of Tolle’s book. It just seemed common sense to me. Much like, Iyanla Van Zant seemed like common sense as well.
Growing up in a much different Clayton county than it is now, I had to focus on me. In most cases, I was the only spot in the milk. So, I watched what I did and with whom I did it.
Being human as I am, I went a little wild after getting a little bit of money in my pocket.
However, at the end of the day, it still came back to me and what I was doing with my life.
A romantic relationship was just one part of life. I wasn’t ready until I was ready to accept the things that come with a romantic relationship. Then, once I found one who fit well with the other parts of my life, I settled down.
As Jill Scott says..”there’s just me, One is the magic number.” From Who Jill Scott
By Dan
June 12, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this
@ARed
No, i don’t have sex with all of them, a chosen few…I can/have/will turn down sex if the vibe ain’t there.
And how about this….I keep hearing women bandy about the “friend” term like it’s a catchall, it ain’t.
To me a friend (male or female) is someone I hang out with occasionally with no sexual ties in the case of the women.
Now, if you wanna be all up under me pseudo dating (like calling ere weekend and all that) then speak. Say you want more…the worst answer is no.
And I say that becuase that what some women do…on the flip side…if I’m smellin’ you and want more…believe me, the lips will part (both sets)!!!
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this
believe me, the lips will part (both sets)!!!
ewww.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this
Tolle again???…sorry Kym couldn’t resist.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this
Not trying to change the subject,
Wanted to enlighten…First Obama and now:
http://www.newsweek.com/id/141129
America may yet achieve her ideals.. If we can just do something about the gas…
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this
I’mma go with PG on what he said, becuase truly it’s not just about the other person. Your interactions with some people will show you a lot about who you are, and like PG said, what you will and won’t stand for.
So that’s my answer to “dating”
Dan - And yet, that could still be considered “dating”
Second of all, I never said you had sex with all of them.
Third of all, if a man IS taking me out, getting to know me and sexing me then we ARE dating. I don’t need to “speak” up, I know the basic tenants of dating. And if I want “more” as in a relationship he will know that too.
It’s guys like you who have it all twisted.
Now you know why they go “crazy” when they catch feelings. Because that’s another aspect your fail to acknowledge when you are “hanging and getting to know someone”
By Dan
June 12, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this
So beautiful…
You’ve mentioned having kids before, so are you no longer having sex…
Is that why you chose to respond to my (admittedly crass) humorous point with that response
By Kym aka Enchantress Divine
June 12, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this
PoppaG Thats why I like Tolle..I told someone else that all he really did in the book(for me anyway) is give a gentle reminder to me of all the things I have been taught in my developing years. But because we get so caught in “living” we for get “how to live”. You are right in the end there is just you. Something I tell my son all the time now as we move into his “oh so exciting(someone help me not to strangle him) teen years.
By Poppa Grande
June 12, 2008 1:29 PM | Link to this
Cee …Lakers or Celtics? PoppaG Is Hawks organization seriously thinking about singing Avery? Is Mike W. contract exp/leaving?
You haven’t look at the front page of the AJC site, have you? Woodson is getting a 2 year extension.
I don’t really like either. I am leaning towards the Lakers, but I wish that Phil Jackson wasn’t such a smartazz.
By Blue Kolla
June 12, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this
What up Blog. …said as I roll in needin’ a long lunch.
Cee And where is your Blue?
…now checking wrists, ankles, and pockets… for cuffs, ball-n-chains, slave papers, or marriage license <=== I ain’t got none of that there, so I don’t even know what’chu talkin’ ‘bout.
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this
leaving to try a new hair stylist. fingers crossed. finding one who will do what you ask of them is hard to find.
brb.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this
@ARed
Like I said, dating just ain’t “dating” like it used to be.
Some women are more into “flings” (to use your terminology), and in those cases, communication is key.
I feel you and respect your boundaries…so we ain’t “dating” until we have sex?…how’s next thursday for ya?….
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this
PoppaG that 1:15 is on point.
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 1:37 PM | Link to this
leaving to try a new hair stylist. fingers crossed. finding one who will do what you ask of them is hard to find.
brb.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this
I wish that Phil Jackson wasn’t such a smartazz.
PoppaG
hahahahaha…he just been in the game so long…actually i like Phil.
checking the front page.
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this
Beautiful, are you comfortable now that you’re back home. Forget about missing the men, are you being good to yourself? Tell your friend I said hello because I know she must be a RIOT!
Dang, leaving this blog for an hour is no choke. There’s a lot to read!
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this
Dan - I can date without sex and am currently doing so (won’t last much longer tho, I must be real with myself, lol). The prevailing blog sentiment, against my protests, is that relationships don’t happend before sex. So since dating essentially will lead to relationships (the ones that make the cut), I added the sex part too.
But yeah, dating isn’t what it used to be. Guys use the whole “we’re just kicking” it line absolve themselves of any responsibility.
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this
Dan You fenna quit tellin them tall tales woman…you darn well you put that grip on right about……then Um…how would YOU know what I do when i do what I do when I do it? Was that you dressed like smokey the bear/winnie the pooh hiding in the tree with a camcorder a lil while back?
By Poppa Grande
June 12, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this
Kym I can respect that. I own three framed posters that I really love. They give me reminders
1) “The Greatest” - The famous picture of Cassius Clay standing over Sonny Liston -It reminds me that with hard work we can be great, not perfect, but we can be great.
2) Scarface movie poster - My favorite line in the movie “There are two things that I don’t break. My word and my ballz” - Although self explanatory, it exemplifies how important it is (even to a drug dealing criminal) to be a man of your word.
3) “All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten”. - It is a reminder of the basics. We get so caught up with the daily grind that we sometimes over look the simple things. (I’ve had this poster since high school. - It was prize for some game that I don’t even remember anymore. However, I still have the poster.)
By Jamoca
June 12, 2008 1:45 PM | Link to this
Good Afternoon, Everybody…feeling well rested and pretty relaxed, as usual…(smile)
By 2CPTG©
June 12, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this
what y’all tombout in here????
By Dan
June 12, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this
@ARed
You’ve just proven my point.
You’ve been “dating” without sex, but ” [it] won’t last much longer”. Whether a value, moral, or logical choice, and some point one or the both of you chose to pursue the relationship with out it.
I think like some, you place a value on sex that, others (like myself) just don’t see in the equation.
But whatever, do you (or him), and good luck
By The Truth
June 12, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this
Ared Guys use the whole “we’re just kicking” it line absolve themselves of any responsibility. Who wants to be responsible for some of the train wrecks out there? Float, when you see something you like fire off a round.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 1:52 PM | Link to this
@Slim
How dare you!!!
How dare you insinuate that I am that low rent…. I have a high powered scope….lol
By Blue Kolla
June 12, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this
Red But yeah, dating isn’t what it used to be. Guys use the whole “we’re just kicking” it line absolve themselves of any responsibility.
That’s because I haven’t known you but two weeks, don’t even know your middle name, and you want to put me on lock… just because WE had sex. No thanks.
By kimmie
June 12, 2008 1:56 PM | Link to this
Amred - Liked your 12:57. Sounds just like me and UGA - I had fun, but got that degree in 4 years! And yes, I had to learn the hard way about not admitting I was looking for marriage. I was so afraid of scaring a guy off that I would play that casual role, but I was not being honest with myself, and the guys. Wasted a lot of good years, but then I think that everything happens for a reason and when its suppose to.
Poppa - I like your posts. You seem like a mature, together brother that has moved beyond the bs in life. Also, being that I’m also from the A, I can identify with a lot of things you put out there, especially about how things were in certain parts of the city back in the day!
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this
Hi Moca get with it.
Hello 2C at this point we are full and burping.
hahahahah…kekekekek…omylawd…lol Blue it’s all gravy. alright no chains…who you work for? Literal NO!?! i thought i had a dilema that needed clear.
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this
Dan - I put a value on sex but I don’t treat it as a “reward.” I’m grown. If I chose to go that route it’s simply because I’m ready and because I trust in this fella.
And yes, because we are not “just kicking it.”
Glad I proved your point, because you certainly proved mine.
Blue Kolla: That’s because I haven’t known you but two weeks, don’t even know your middle name, and you want to put me on lock… just because WE had sex. No thanks.
I’ve long given up trying to figure out the chicken heads you date. Sounds like a personal problem to me.
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this
I had to learn the hard way about not admitting I was looking for marriage. I was so afraid of scaring a guy off that I would play that casual role, but I was not being honest with myself, and the guys.
kimmie - I don’t want it to seem like I’m on first dates saying “I hope to be married in 2 years and have 2.5 kids.” I don’t. But I’m not afraid to let anyone know that marriage is on my agenda. TO THE RIGHT PERSON. It may not be the guy sitting across the table from me at that very moment. So he needs to not feel any pressure.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this
@Ared
You don’t have to get all indignant about it..I mean, I don’t have a passing interest in how you live your life, just that you live it.
BTW, what was your point?
By 2CPTG©
June 12, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this
Hey, Cee……yeah, I’m full as a mugg too! Now, I got the “itis”, and I’m sleepy!
By Kym aka Enchantress Divine
June 12, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this
PoppaG I had that kindgarten poster..and you are right..all the basics start there.
Some of my favorite quotes I have saved some where on my computer..but I am always collecting new ones..but most of my favorite sayings came from my Aunties and my Grandmother.
“One monkey don’t stop no show”— Just because someone is not cooperating or life is not giving you the best right now..doesn’t mean it is over. The show must go on Monkey or no monkey.
“You got to deal with the lion until you can get your hand out of his mouth.” or another way..You got to deal with what you got until you can get better. Your present situation is just that what it is now..so deal with it until you move or get a better one..and baby always strive to do better.
and my favorite because it reminded me of just how much my Grandmother loved me.
*”Baby don’t you know I would kill a rock and dare a brick to breathe about you.” *
I told my son that one day when he asked me how much I loved him..He said mom you can’t kill a rock..I said I know but it means that I love you always and no matter what came at you I would be right there for you.
By SeanJohnson3000
June 12, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this
@ Ared…I’ve long given up trying to figure out the chicken heads you date. Sounds like a personal problem to me.….just like one mans trash is another mans treasure….feel me on this one..and dont take this personal….every female is at least one mans chicken head or jump off..when a lot dudes have her in the wifey catergory
By Poppa Grande
June 12, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this
Float, when you see something you like fire off a round.
Exactly, that I how I approached it. I lived my life and she fit right in. I didn’t have to make major changes. She liked most of the stuff that I liked. So, it wasn’t much of a sacrifice to do things with her. With the exception of a couple of movies, like that darn “Notebook” mess. Time in my life that I will never get back.
The Mrs. and I just happened to meet at the right time for both of us. I could have very well met her in a dfferent time of our lives and not clicked with her.
By Mo (aka Moeisha)
June 12, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this
Hey Errbody! Mo struts in with a new look, sportin the red for the summer, highlights are a wonderful thing!
Poppa G i.e your 1:44, I have a poster of Langston Hughes (one of the greatest to do it) framed along with the movie poster from Love Jones. Now if I can find Mother to Son and Ego-Trippin I will be complete!
I know this is a subject change but what are all the blog Dad’s doing for Father’s Day?
By Jamoca
June 12, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this
@ Cee:
Sup, Guh…you know “Moca” ain’t tryin’ to hear that right now…feeling so lovely right now, they can’t even reach “my high”, let alone, bring me down from it…been singin’ and jukin’ all morning long…I do love this feeling I’m in….Ahhh….
Sup MyTwo, Blue, DemiG…Truth
(…kinda slow in here again, Cee get somethin’ started, ma’…)
By Hotlanta
June 12, 2008 2:16 PM | Link to this
I am very tactful. Go to the door. Get your car, make a left you will get to I-20. Make a right you will get to 285. Yall we have relationships everyday with folks and don’t have sex. We have relationships with our mother/father/sister/brother/friends/coworkers. Relationships are not just between a man and a woman. If we are planning on getting serious about someone we ate building up the anticipation to have sex with them. We get frustrated when we don’t get it and also frustrated if the sex is bad after our anticipation of having it. Relationships are between our heads and not in between our legs.
By Hotlanta
June 12, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this
I am very tactful. Go to the door. Get your car, make a left you will get to I-20. Make a right you will get to 285. Yall we have relationships everyday with folks and don’t have sex. We have relationships with our mother/father/sister/brother/friends/coworkers. Relationships are not just between a man and a woman. If we are planning on getting serious about someone we ate building up the anticipation to have sex with them. We get frustrated when we don’t get it and also frustrated if the sex is bad after our anticipation of having it. Relationships are between our heads and not in between our legs.
By Blue Kolla
June 12, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this
Red I’ve long given up trying to figure out the chicken heads you date. Sounds like a personal problem to me.
Wrong brova slim; I don’t do chicken beaks, chicken feet, or chicken heads. But out of curiosity, why would you that?
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this
Dan - Hardly indignant. I don’t have to date you so I also don’t care how you live your life or define your relationships. As long as you’re happy I’m happy.
My point is that you do date, you just don’t admit to it.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 2:19 PM | Link to this
@PG
You caught then!!
I swear if I could find one to slide right in I’d wife her in less than 2(years that is).
It’s hard on these streets
By kimmie
June 12, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this
Amred - I totally get you. Where I messed up was letting things go into several months and even years, thinking things would change or he could read my mind! At least with me, with a little age came wisdom! I recall having a conversation with this guy I was seeing(actually the guy I referred to earlier that I had to clown on) about how time was going by and our “relationship” seemed not to be going anywhere. I pointed out to him that I was very family-oriented(he could see that) and that I wanted marriage and a family of my own. He started all this bull about how there needed to be a spiritual connection before marriage and himming and hawing with this smirk on his face. I had to make it perfectly clear that while I wanted marriage, I did NOT want to marry him! I cut it off, took a break from dating for awhile until I met my current SO.
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 2:21 PM | Link to this
feel me on this one..and dont take this personal
SJ3000 - Nope, with you, not personal. I always consider the source.
So no, don’t feel ya, but you are certainly entitled to your opinion. :-)
By Dee
June 12, 2008 2:21 PM | Link to this
I dated an older man for a couple of months and midpoint in our relationship his breath became unbearable. I could not even think of kissing him any longer. After checking some sites on line, I decided the best way to handle this situation was to tell him over the phone. I put it as delicately as I could ..saying he probably did not realize it / unknown health reason / might need to check with his dentist, etc. He did not bring it up on any of our dates afterwards. On one of the last occasions we saw each other he said I hurt his feelings because I told him. I could not control myself any longer and said “yes, I did tell you after debating how to tell you”. “And, as a matter of fact the breath issue is still there”! He was so mad but never said anything else about it that evening. We went on two other dates and called it quits. Retrospectively, I would do the same thing again but a little sooner. If I had a breath issue I certainly would be grateful to be told so I could eliminate it. What do y’all think?
By Dan
June 12, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this
ARed
I define dating as: two people of the opposing sexes, meeting and congregating a number of times for the purpose of creating an eventual relationship.
Everything else is just chillin.
And you be happy too
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this
Wrong brova slim; I don’t do chicken beaks, chicken feet, or chicken heads. But out of curiosity, why would you that?
BK - You want to try that again, in complete sentences or something? I have no clue to what you are talking about (as usual).
By QC
June 12, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this
I’m baaaack..Cee-me you are a mess..guess where they wanted to go for lunch???? guess????
By Blue Kolla
June 12, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this
“You got to deal with the lion until you can get your hand out of his mouth.”
”Baby don’t you know I would kill a rock and dare a brick to breathe about you.”
Kym You know that I’m gon’ have to add those to my repertoire right?! …especially that second one.
By 2CPTG©
June 12, 2008 2:30 PM | Link to this
Jamoca…..you say you’re in Tampa? How long you been there? Ever been over to Riverfront Park? Hung out on Nebraska? heheheh….
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this
If I had a breath issue I certainly would be grateful to be told so I could eliminate it. What do y’all think?
Honestly, I probably would have gone Houdini on his azz. There is no way I could have put that in a tactful way. LOL
By SeanJohnson3000
June 12, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this
@ Ared….ask those ball players you say you dated….consider that source…
By Blue Kolla
June 12, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this
Red Correction: “Why would you think/say that?” That question was in reference to your “chickenhead” comment.
Jamo Hey, what’s up?!
By mytwocents
June 12, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this
Dee Not Chronic Halitosis!?! How long in total did you date? Did he have Tic Tacs when y’all met or were you givin him the benefit of the doubt as they say? Never understand why they’re immune to aroma…Fascinating
Jamoca Can you confirm that’s a natural high?…Fab… jus checkin’. Wait, did we almost miss an off tone?
By Kym aka Enchantress Divine
June 12, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this
Blue you are welcome to use them my grandmother and aunt would be glad I am still remember what that said..actually they would say…
Took you long enough…hardheaded tail…hard head makes a soft behind..and it is going to need to be soft because you will spend alot of time on it..if you dont learn not to be so hardheaded. Okay let me stop channeling my granny..
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this
SunDail, Benihana, Great Wall or HardRock - QC you know i’can’t guess one place.
Moca oooohhh i wanna sing your song. beaches and breezes.
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this
SJ3000 - Sure thing. I’m still good over here, but thanks for your concern. :-)
By Jamoca
June 12, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this
@ 2Can:
Yes, yes, yes…back in the 80’s and early 90’s Riverfront Park was somethin’ else and at times off the chain, they’ve calmed things down over there A LOT!!!…I actually take my daughters there to the playground, walk along Hillsborough River and listen to the saxophonist do his thing, it has definitely changed somewhat. I live in West Tampa, just minutes from downtown.
Now, Nebraska Ave?…A big no,no…as far as hangin’ out goes…but I love going to Ybor, they have really upgraded that place and many of the surrounding areas…I remember asking you this before…I know you are not from Tampa, was it Sarasota? (still may be wrong w/ that guess)…do some of your folks live in here?
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this
“Why would you think/say that?” That question was in reference to your “chickenhead” comment.:
BK - Cuz only those dumb clucks give it up after two weeks without knowing anything about the person they’ve got in their bed! Then they have the nerve to catch feelings.
All bad. LOL
By Kym aka Enchantress Divine
June 12, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this
I would like to talk about something… Does anyone else think that officer in Dekalb killed his wife and used the day laborer to cover it up? Something is not right about that case.
By Poppa Grande
June 12, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this
Jamoca…..you say you’re in Tampa? How long you been there? Ever been over to Riverfront Park? Hung out on Nebraska? heheheh….
2C..lol..the don’t send her to Ybor City.lol
KymI, too, have some. They all have a lesson in them. You either learn it from the words or you experience life and think back to the words.
Dan Married life isn’t a stoll in the park either…lol Life continues to go on. Births, Deaths, Job issues,economic downturns, etc. continue.
By For Real
June 12, 2008 2:47 PM | Link to this
Kym I was about to glue the pages in your Tolle book together. Well too I already did but I like those quotes.
I just don’t get the confusion people have with dating. Dating is dating, your purpose is not relative bc you still have to go thru the human process whether you are dating, dating with a purpose, friends, co-workers, pastor, your dog, your MaryKay rep, the dude you get weed from….. it just doesn’t matter.
The Human Process:
Physical
Mental
Spirtual
Direction
For Real now slapping Ared on the azz with a red plastic bat.
Dee Have ever considered that after a couple of months slobbing old dude down that you may have deposited a sesame seed from a big mac you ate in his mouth that got stuck in between his false teeth and his gum? I’m not saying you did but I just saying…
By Foots
June 12, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this
Amazon Guys use the whole “we’re just kicking” it line absolve themselves of any responsibility.
Just catching up… It’s funny though, I had a “just kicking it, just hanging out” friend a little while ago. He just wanted to be friends and we had a good time together when we did hang out. My objective never changed, it was to find someone who was looking for more. So while we were being friends that occasionally hung out, I met my SO. When dude recently offered to just come over to my house and “kick it”, I told him that it wasn’t a good idea and that I had a boyfriend now. Dude blew a gasket, told me I was foul and asked me what I would do when this shyt didn’t work out. I guess I messed up his plan, but he was the one who just wanted to kick it, right?
It may not be the guy sitting across the table from me at that very moment. So he needs to not feel any pressure.
I agree. I think that’s what’s good about dating sites, you get to read about what the other person is looking for. Some people say they are looking for someone special, some say just friends. My feeling is that as long as you find somebody somewhere in the same book as you, even if you’re not on the same page, it’s good. Kinda like when you’re car shopping and out of all the manufacturers out there, you finally choose a particular make. Now you just have to find the right model.
Dan I define dating as: two people of the opposing sexes, meeting and congregating a number of times for the purpose of creating an eventual relationship
You have to create a relationship based off of a couple of dates or it’s not dating?!? I thought dating was two people going out together and enjoying each other’s company.
By Atl Lady
June 12, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this
Dee You weren’t wrong. He’s angry that yet another woman has told him the same thing that other women have told him in the past. What he probably needed to have done is too embarassing for him. (A lot of men don’t like going to the doctor) He’s looking for that one person who’ll constantly overlook that one flaw (or he feels is his biggest flaw) and keep on going. He probably needs a woman who has the same flaw.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this
@PG
I know that, but having someone of the same mindset or one that can vibe with yours through those upheavals makes them easier to go through.
@ARed had a question but I won’t ask, you don’t seem to be in the “rational debate” mode today
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this
You have to create a relationship based off of a couple of dates or it’s not dating?!? I thought dating was two people going out together and enjoying each other’s company.
Foots - I will hand the baton to you because I just left all of that alone. I think Dan and I reached an agreement that we’ll just “do us”
But you know I feel ya. LOL
There have been guys who told me up front that they don’t want a relationship, and I’ve said up front that I’m eventually looking for a relationship. In that scenario, SOMEONE is not gonna get what they want. Sometimes it was me, sometimes it was them. But it’s usually never pretty. LOL
By Foots
June 12, 2008 2:56 PM | Link to this
Kym That case is still so cloudy. But what got me is that you can be arrested for making terroristic threats if you tell your kid that you’re going to beat the ish out of him or threatening to kill him. I didn’t know that. In that case, my mama should have been under the jail during my teenage years. She only actually put the gun on the table in front of me once though. LOL
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this
Anybody hear about Juanity Bynum prayer kits going up in smoke on HSN. Here’s a blurb:
But as she began the second hour, repeatedly using the spiel “This powerful intercessory package has become mandated by God to become a primary weapon in your personal prayer arsenal! Your emergency kit contains everything you need to discover true power in prayer! ‘Buy one, or even two, now today!’ thus saith the Lord,” suddenly a stack of nearby prayer kits caught fire. Within seconds, the entire set was consumed by flames. Luckily, everyone survived the accident, although the prayer kits were all destroyed. Kits going for $500 and include complete with a Hebrew prayer shawl, a small vial of anointing oil, and gospel teaching tapes.
By QC
June 12, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this
Cee they wanted to go Chik-a-fila so we went and i gave them both a card & $25 Visa Gift Card…*they’re both “New Daddy’s”
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this
you don’t seem to be in the “rational debate” mode today
Dan - Then you clearly are not in a rational thought process today. Sorry to hear that.
By kimmie
June 12, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this
Foots - I guess you messed up *Mr. Kickin It”s plan, didn’t you?LOL I’ve had a few like that too. They say they want to just be friends and hang out, but when you keep it moving with a purpose, they get all bent! Same thing happened with that dude I talked about above - did he think I’d be his “kickin it” buddy forever? Amred - I like your comebacks! Some folks get a little salty when they see you’ve got their number!LOL!
By Dan
June 12, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this
@Foots
A couple of dates, shoot by that time I know nothing but how you look in a dress vs jeans.
I’m talking about the time you spend between the “dates” you can get to know someone via phone, email, IM, text messaging whatever.
To me its about finding that thing about that person that pulls you in or that makes you want to pull them closer to you in your life.
Hellz naw, a couple dates. I’m still deciding if I’m gon hit….takes more than that…most dudes are haiku, the D is “the Odessey”
By Blue Kolla
June 12, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this
Red Cuz only those dumb clucks give it up after two weeks without knowing anything about the person they’ve got in their bed! Then they have the nerve to catch feelings.
Red, (that was a loose example) two weeks, 30 days, 60 days… the time period really is irrelevant. But I’m way sure that you’ve given up the catbox to some dude that wasn’t trying to wife you.
You may want to deplane. The air really ain’t that good up there.
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this
Question In your past or present…when you encounter(ed) a person that had DA BOMB azz dizzle or p-dussy, does it naturally make you feel closer to that person afterwards or does that ‘closeness’ last simply until the after glow is over?
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this
Jamoca…well let’s see…get sumthin started…hmmmm…you choose.
you got Sexyleggs that has been ingnoring me since before lunch about yesturdays leftovers i ask if she would share w/me.
Then you’ve got ForReal over in da corner massaging BlackCake.
Amazon is back from TX and laying it down/schooling the fellas about dating for sex first or friends first.
And Dan is spelling everyword correctly…petitioning Darrell to come holla at us.
Truth catching cases but has a takk and dark lawyer friend who also clean tanks.
ABC is PC as always.
Kym is re-reading Tolle but with a side of yuuuullleeee.
Mytwo smashing heads on the dance floor and pouring hot, burning liqour on her “pal” cuase she wont pay attention.
and QC is somewhere using her stimulus money to take her future babydaddy out for lunch.
PoppaG can’t remember how exactly he got the marrage thang right, but he did and looking at Phil Jackson sideways.
Blue can’t find his slave papers or marriage license but like to wear chains, to work.
Mo like posters and pineapple Now & Laters.
2C, well you know, he burps.
By Kym aka Enchantress Divine
June 12, 2008 3:08 PM | Link to this
Sexxy I am sorry but I find that funny as hell….LMAO
By mytwocents
June 12, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this
Re Deputy - there were allegedly domestic violence issues. Unusual to me that she would have to deal w/ landscaper on his day off. Were tools in basement vs truck? Really, deceased dude had more to gain from a good job & word of mouth than a murder. Wanna hear autopsy results for their times of death and kinds of guns/bullets. And in honor of the diagraced brotha off CSI will also factor in juxtaposition of bodies.
By kimmie
June 12, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this
Leggs - You are joking, right?LOL!!
By Dan
June 12, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this
@A Red
‘K then here goes….
What makes you think you “know” him enough to “let go”? Have you given thought that it could be the long hustle? I mean, not to get too much in your business and if you don’t want to answer I understand, but you profess to have this sudden or increasing feeling that “now is the time” so, I’m just asking have you really thought it through. On the real, I don’t want to see you get hustled, so that where the question comes from..
@Foots
Refer to the above post and tell me why you think dating someone you met online is any different than dating someone you met in person? A lie is a lie whether from a hot mouth or on a screen…
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 3:11 PM | Link to this
I like your comebacks! Some folks get a little salty when they see you’ve got their number!LOL!
Why thank you kimmie.
But I’m way sure that you’ve given up the catbox to some dude that wasn’t trying to wife you
BK - Seeing as I’m not married…DUH. Doesn’t mean that I’m someones chickenhead and if they want to think that so be it. Doesn’t make it true.
As for your last line, maybe it is. You’ll never know.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this
@Slim
It only makes me want to do it again and again and again and again…
But the closeness serves a purpose at that point.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this
QC you gave gift card and chicken sandwhiches to ppl you work with for Father’s Day? Yea i’m getting a ring.
By 2CPTG©
June 12, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this
yeah, I grew up in Sarasota…hung out in Tampa on the weekends….my closest relatives were stationed at MacDill, and she went to Robinson; Our sports district included all of the Tampa schools, so I got real familiar with the folks there…..Leto, Chamberlain, Hillsborough, Tampa Catholic, down in Clearwater, Pinellas Park….gal, those were my stomping grounds, for real……dig this, my family reunion is there this weekend….do you remember a Club 21, or Uptown 21? it was near the Skyway bridge, closer to St. Pete?
By Blue Kolla
June 12, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this
Cee shadd-up. LOL cho’ silly self.
By LorDemi
June 12, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this
Dee wow…Had that been me…date 2 would had never happened
Sexy WTF!!? a prayer kit…that lying a$$ hefier
Jamocha hey sista, just coming up for air. Hope you’re have a great day.
QC I may fly over to your desk tomorrow…But if it’s too hot, i am not flying anywhere.
By Atl Lady
June 12, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this
@Cemee LMAO!!!!! I can’t do this at work. I’m getting the funny looks.
By SeanJohnson3000
June 12, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this
@ Kym….i thought the same thing…when it happened i said…Dude caught his wife and the mexicano flyuckn….killed them both…that is some real csi ish….doughnuts for dollars he walks…killed is wife with is back up piece…killed dude with his service gun and through money on the floor..i am trying to figure out how it made them dress with out some one running and what order he killed them in
By comeback?
June 12, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this
Blue_K Man move past her, she doesn’t een know when shes a Bustit baby. Do you not see why she is single?
By Page1908
June 12, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this
Mo you can try www dot allposters dot com. they have every poster imaginable. i ordered a bunch of nice ones and got them framed for my new house.
By kimmie
June 12, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this
Cee - I’m hurt, you didn’t mention me at all! I thought I was a buddy of yours!LOL And I enjoy hearing about the aquarium.
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
June 12, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this
Hey QC!
Truth that’s ok..I will put them on your when you are sleep and jolt your boys! LOL
Hotlanta Relationships are between our heads and not in between our legs OOh girl that is so right. Sorry..I am going to have to swaggajack you for that one! LOL He at least I told you!
Dee Um…that sounds liek he had a gastrointernal probrom. Did you suggest he visit a GI Dr, or maybe get colonics or maybe see a hygienist for a deep cleaning?
By Atl Lady
June 12, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this
@Cemee LMAO!!!!! I can’t do this at work. I’m getting the funny looks.
By QC
June 12, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this
Does’nt make me closer…just satisfied as h3ll..the closeness only last until the after glow is over..but we do remain friends
QC now sitting at her desk day dreaming about “him & it”
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this
Cemeeli, didn’t want to give you anything until everything thawed. Wasn’t sure how thawed deviled eggs would look or taste. Lunch is over but snack time is here…everything LOOKS good. Go at it!
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this
M’ what’s new? Just sending a shout out.
~ Shalom chica
By QC
June 12, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this
LOL @ Cee-me girl you know we can’t do that..it ain’t legal in GA…hey Demi if you flying this way tomorrow let me know, i’ll have you an Ice cold 20oz Coke waitin on ya!
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this
Dan - The feeling is not sudden. Basically, I trust my instincts. But also he’s backed up his words with actions and his actions with words. He’s kept it consistant and if it’s the “long hustle” then more power to him, because I will call him on his ish and hold him accountable for what he says and does. There is waaay to much puddy out there flowing freely to be wrapped up in conquering mine.
Like I said, not like I’m holding the puddy as a reward, but he knows I don’t enter into sexual relationships lightly. There are girls who DO catch feelings and I am one of them. Like I said, some of you guys “kick it” because you don’t want the responsibility. He’s making it known that he’s willing to take what comes in a relationship.
And if it ends up being the long hustle, I’ll live. It’s won’t be my first break up. I’ll just reassess and readjust.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this
Kimmie BECAUSE you’re sitting over here with meeeeee….that means your head is clear. Even though this room we’re in has alot of cushion walls… and why are you wearing white too?
By SeanJohnson3000
June 12, 2008 3:26 PM | Link to this
@ Blue…bruh dont even waste ya breath…Ared is one of those types..reminds me of lightskin girls in the 80’s…i wish her all the luck though with finding a husband…hope he dont find the tape with her and the kappas…i know its one out there…lmao..just flcucking with ya Ared…the combacks are witty heffa…
By PornStar* in da Building (**6'1**)
June 12, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this
off topic ladies are any of you feeling the colored skinny jeans?
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this
Sorry to say, but it’s the truth. God was telling her to STFU…oops sorry, he didn’t say it like that! Let’s see, how can I be PC and spiritually moving…my dear child, in the midst of turmoil, you need only to turn to me for guidance. Remove these kits and seek instruction on your knees.
By IslandGirl
June 12, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this
Good day everyone
Cee thanks for that laugh..LOL.
Ared what are you and Dan debating? I’m too lazy to go back and read those posts.
Truth Hello. Hope you’ve been doing fine.
Slim what are you selling today? I have the tast for some ice cream.
By mytwocents
June 12, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this
Nemo You & For Real went to Recap Academy together? No mo secretions, k? Luv it!
By Foots
June 12, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this
Dan I’m talking about the time you spend between the “dates” you can get to know someone via phone, email, IM, text messaging whatever.
sigh You said “congregating a number of times”, I said “a couple of dates”. To-May-To, To-Ma-To. But let’s use your phrase…
If it’s somebody you’re interested in romantically, of course you don’t just go out on congregatory visits, and not talk in between time and continue to get to know each other in non-social outing circumstances. To me, that’s dating (sorry…congregating) and building a friendship.
Where’s the disconnect here? No wonder why you say that it’s hard for some folks to admit that they are dating for marriage. You can’t even get folks to admit that they are dating PERIOD! On a dating blog nonetheless! Too funny!
That just reminds me of the time that Longtime Lurker said that he had only known ol girl for a year, so he didn’t know her long enough to know whether or not he wanted to date her.
Slim I choose Option B. LOL!
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this
Kimmie we’re gonna have to get up out of her somehow and grab Leggs b/c the catering business is not gonna run itself.
By Jamoca
June 12, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this
@ MyTwo:
Gurl….definitely a natural high ova here….did you and Cee enjoy a bit of that sweet rain and “cool breezies” I sent ya’ll yesterday…?
@ Cee:
Sis, I even went for a walk along the shore after grabbing a bite to eat…I love it when I have days like this…the sun definitely has healing powers….I got a few songs for ya’ll…may be you’ll even catch a little bit of the same feel …dammit, I luhhh dis’ !!!
@ 2Can:
I’m born and raised here (for the most part). I moved back to Tampa back in 2001…(Demi I believe you asked me the same thing yesterday) from Atlanta…but I still come up there to visit and I actually plan on returning for good in the future….must say, I will definitely miss the weather, beaches and seafood down here….did not really find any seafood spots up in the “A” worth writing home about, but I do recall SeanJ’ s “testimonial review” regarding “A Taste of Florida”…will def check it out on my next visit, yeah….(thx for the reference).
@ Poppa G:
I’ve repeatedly made visits to the infamous Ybo’ City (now ref’d to as: Centro Ybor)….and yes, its definitely a place that gets you “loosed” (literally), but this sistah has mastered her own self control while still having a helluva guddd time, ya’ hear me…LOL!!!…when was the last time you and the wife made it to Ybor?
By QC
June 12, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this
QC is somewhere spending her stimulas money taking her babydaddy out to lunch… Girl stop it..that was cute…But you know QC keeps dem dollars.. That was funny Cee
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this
Nope to the jean, but guess you need answers from the younger set (LOL).
By Dan
June 12, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this
@ARed
Thank you for that. No sarcasm, I mean it.
As for the responsibility, in part, you’re right. I don’t want her “catching feelings” when we do what we do. That is why I try to know upfront what the business is.
If, at that point, I’m lied to about her intentions then she’s absolved me of my responsibility. I might be among the few that offer the honest out.
Again, thank you for being open, and brave…sniff, sniff..did you ever know that you’re my hero? K, that was sarcastic, but an attempt to lighten the mood
By kimmie
June 12, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this
Cee - LOL!! Girl, you crazy! Ooops, you’re not suppose to call crazy folk crazy! LOL
Actually I’m going to be wearing white in a few hours. Me, my SO and his kids are taking Choi Kwon Do, a cousin of Tae Kwon Do. We have class on Tues & Thurs, and we’ve been going for about 3 weeks now. He & I are testing for our white belt senior on Saturday and the kids, since they’ve been going a little longer, will be testing for their yellow belt. It’s a lot of fun and great exercise, a lot of stretching, and it’s not as hard on the joints as Karate and Tae.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this
@Foots,
It’s not in my nature to be mysterious, it’s not. It’s just that some questions require answers left open ended.
Good structure on that argument!
What do you do for a living?
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this
SJ3000 Give me a break. Am what I’m saying REALLY so far fetched? If you have a daughter I would hope you’d want to to be secure in herself and value herself. You really think I’m gonna sit up here and stress about some man who is long gone and whether he thought I was a jump off or not? At the end of the day I respected him and I respected MYSELF and if he was a jerk about it then it’s his problem not mine.
You seem to think I’m conceited and full of myself or something…hardly. I just know who I am and I like who I am and make NO apologies for it.
But yeah, I’ll watch out for those Kappas. eyeroll
By Poppa Grande
June 12, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this
SexyL She is broke. Maybe not like regular folk, but kinda like Holyfield broke. Tryin’ to get money. He property in South Georgia is and has been in trouble of being foreclosed.
If she shut up, she might see her at the corner of Northside and Marietta beggin with a cup in her hand (must be a prime begging spot).
By Foots
June 12, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this
Dan Refer to the above post and tell me why you think dating someone you met online is any different than dating someone you met in person?
A lie IS a lie. But what does it gain a grown, mature person to lie about what he or she wants? Sex? Sex is plentiful. Love? You can’t make somebody love you. There is something out there for everybody. Why lie about what you want? And why spend your good money lying about it?
What I was saying that if you meet a woman in person, within the first sighting of her, you’re not going to know anywhere near as much as you would if you read about her through her own words that she took the time and money to compose…unless she happened to be carrying around a piece of paper detailing her status, her favorite movies, where she has traveled, educational background, interests, and what she is looking for in a partner and read it to you as soon as you said hello. Do you see the point?
By Kym aka Enchantress Divine
June 12, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this
SJ I am not thinking it was them having sex..I am thinking the Deputy wanted to kill his wife all along and he used the Laborer as an excuse…Picture this the son is grown and gone..the Wife is maybe fed up with his mess..maybe she said I am leaving. An so the Deputy decides to kill her. He gets a scapegoat(the laborer) to come to the house and then kills the wife with one gun and the man with the other. Then screams he tried to rob us. Sorry but most laborers face the risk of being rob themselves..most are illegal and speak little english and seriously why would he risk robbing a stranger in his own home in a area he may not be familiar with? Nawww there is something wrong. I think by the time DC figures it out the man may kill himself rather than serve time.
By Mo (aka Moeisha)
June 12, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this
Page1908 Hey chica! Thanks for that web address, wil try it out! How’ve you been?
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this
Ared what are you and Dan debating? I’m too lazy to go back and read those posts.
Hey IslandGirl*, we ain’t talking about nothing. LOL Don’t even waste your time. LOL As always a difference of opinion that either side isn’t changing. LOL
By IslandGirl
June 12, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this
6’1’ I love to see those skinny jeans. I have bowed legs and I can’t stand how the jeans look on me. sigh
By QC
June 12, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this
Hey IslandG
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this
Ok, I know there’s something wrong w/me now. Just looked at the title “Give it to me straight” and immediately thought of “oh now, I don’t want a crooked d…..” Gotta love free thought cuz I didn’t think of that this morning when I read it.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this
hotmammaicecream well you know you bring out the best in me. ;)
IslandG hey mami.
ladies are any of you feeling the colored skinny jeans?
6’1’ i have a pair of Jordache and Calvin Klein jean ones you know imma lame i stop wearing them b/c they make my butt look bigger. & yes i paid too much. Won’t be getting another pair.
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this
IG I’m selling black cake and mini-AA Dolphins. If you buy 2 I’ll throw in a set of sacs. lol
Foots So once your ‘after-glow’ light goes out, you’re saying to ole dude…”Didn’t you say you had that thing you needed to do today?” lol
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this
dan hello there. just reading it … you could have put it in a more tasteful way. i can’t wait to be in that position, but i would want you to think of it more as sexy and not raunchy. and yes, i’m still celibate. it’s not that bad.
cee nope, i bbq’d a t-bone steak with a fruit salad and corn on the cob. yum.
sexy i can never forget about the men in atl. i tell ppl about them all the time here. they all nod and agree. lol.
By Poppa Grande
June 12, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this
Jam Well, the wife and I make it to Tampa at least twice a year. I have a lot of family there. One of my cousins lives near Raymond James Stadium. I know that there have been some improvements done to Ybor.
My last trip was last fall for the Falcons/Bucs game. Walking 2 blocks to game was cool. My wife being from NY wants to go back next spring to visit the Yankees spring facility which is near there too. I believe it was across the street from the stadium. (or maybe a block or two.)
Last summer, we drove over to Clearwater. My cousin got married on the beach.
By PornStar* in da Building (**6'1**)
June 12, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this
IG I have been killing them at work. THey said that we couldn’t wear blue jeans during the week. I told my boss the other day, be specific dayuumit, cause these jeans aren’t blue!
By IslandGirl
June 12, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this
QC and Cee Hello ladies….
Sexy not a tang is wrong with your free thoughts ma. I’m sure you weren’t the only one thinking along the same line. lol
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this
Where’s the disconnect here? No wonder why you say that it’s hard for some folks to admit that they are dating for marriage. You can’t even get folks to admit that they are dating PERIOD! On a dating blog nonetheless! Too funny!
Foots - Girl! I think you are onto the meaning of life. Preach sister! LOL
Dan: Again, thank you for being open, and brave
No problem Dan. I’m afraid of spiders, heck sometimes I’m afraid of heights (tall as I am, lol), but I’m not afraid of love or falling in love. Maybe because I see it in my home life or I guess I haven’t been sufficently hurt enough to be gun shy about that. The heart heals and it’s been worth the ride.
Maybe if those Kappas get me on tape, I’ll feel differently. eyeroll LOL
By Foots
June 12, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this
Dan If, at that point, I’m lied to about her intentions then she’s absolved me of my responsibility.
You’re just about right on that. I have friends who know that they want more, but insist to the guy that they are fine with their “friendship”, while secretly wanting him to come around. When it doesn’t happen, they get mad at the guy. I tell them to be honest with yourself and with him, the worst thing he could do is leave and even that’s good because nobody wasted their time.
And I say “just about right” because most of the time, guys aren’t clueless about the fact that the girl wants more, they just ignore it so that they can keep the good times rolling, instead of walking away.
For your records, I have an Engineering degree, worked as an RF engineer for a few years and I’m currently a Financial Analyst.
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this
dan hello there. just reading it … you could have put it in a more tasteful way. i can’t wait to be in that position, but i would want you to think of it more as sexy and not raunchy. and yes, i’m still celibate. it’s not that bad.
cee nope, i bbq’d a t-bone steak with a fruit salad and corn on the cob. yum.
sexy i can never forget about the men in atl. i tell ppl about them all the time here. they all nod and agree. lol.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this
Foots
I completely see your point, but that’s why we have conversations.
Nothing can articulate or intimate someone point, better than the person themselves. What I want to know about her I will ask, if she doesn’t volunteer it.
As far as online dating, I’m cute, I just don’t see the need to spend money to find somebody that in the end could be dealing in deception. Plus, I don’t feel like I have to, no disinfection to anyone that does that sort of thing but really, paying to find “true love” give me a break. That’s why I was GBI in college, what I look like paying an organization for artificial ties.
I’m from SW Atlanta, we don’t engage in those kinds of thought processes.
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this
dan hello there. just reading it … you could have put it in a more tasteful way. i can’t wait to be in that position, but i would want you to think of it more as sexy and not raunchy. and yes, i’m still celibate. it’s not that bad.
cee nope, i bbq’d a t-bone steak with a fruit salad and corn on the cob. yum.
sexy i can never forget about the men in atl. i tell ppl about them all the time here. they all nod and agree. lol.
By IslandGirl
June 12, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this
Slim LOL!! I’ll have one slice of black cake please. Just remember to keep away from Real.
By Foots
June 12, 2008 3:54 PM | Link to this
Kym Sorry but most laborers face the risk of being rob themselves..most are illegal and speak little english and seriously why would he risk robbing a stranger in his own home in a area he may not be familiar with?
That’s a good point. Did either of them have a police cruiser at the home that they drove or any evidence of them being police officers at the house? If they did, then I REALLY wouldn’t think that it would be a robbery attempt.
Slim I’ve certainly had that thought before. LOL!
By kimmie
June 12, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this
Cee - I’m so over Corporate America and the rat race. I’m just biding my time until I have enough clientele and money to go full time with the baking and catering!
By Page1908
June 12, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this
Mo Hey girl. I have been awesome. Just getting and doing stuff for my house and traveling with my so. I’ll be in Phoenix next weekend, then the following week in FL for an entire week.
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this
Back away from the keyboard Beautiful.
By IslandGirl
June 12, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this
6’1 lol..you knew what they meant, but I’m not mad at you. Thats a good one.
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
June 12, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this
6’1 Girl if I put on red skinny jeans I may confuse drivers into thinking my booty is a stop sign! LOL
By Dan
June 12, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this
You know beautiful, you stay celibate….
Matter of fact, I heard this comedian describe celibacy in terms that have stuck with me…he said:
“Celibate, when women say they celibate the first thing I think of is that she has sooo much sex that she had to put a stop to it. Now more dyck for me, I’ve had my fill for now”.
Not saying that describes anybody, but why intentionally deprive yourself from what at its core, is the deepest connection two people can share?
I just don’t get it, but uh..do you.
By DuShawn
June 12, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this
I’ve been a husband for the last decade. Periodically, I imagine what it would be like to date again. Everyday, I see beautiful women that I know I could pull if I were single. I got a nice crib and whip. I’m handsome and I have been blessed with a gift of gab. As a bachelor, I was damn near undefeated. However, I’ve come to the realization that I don’t know how to date anymore. I don’t have the energy to meet a new chick, get her number, take her out, get to know her, and conceal my flaws until I finesse her out the panties. Waking up to the same female everyday has its challenges, but one in the hand is better than a thousand in the bush.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 4:02 PM | Link to this
@Foots
I’m all the way right.
Becuase like your friends, if the feeling are not expressed, the words not articulated, I don’t know.
I can’t read your mind and will not attempt to. So in the instance where there is a vibe and she doesn’t say anything. Can’t get mad, can’t go sniiiiiitchhiiinngg
You did it to yourself (one of my main problems is when people don’t accept responsibility for their (in)actions)
By 2CPTG©
June 12, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this
3 Stacks….light skinned girls in the 80’s……shiiid, I couldn’t stand light skinned dudes in the 80’s!!! I’m tombout I was hatin’ hard, too!!! ‘Specially them cats that thought they had good hair, runnin ‘round trynna look like Ginuwine and shyt…..
By Blue Kolla
June 12, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this
Red As for your last line, maybe it is. You’ll never know.
LOL Wouldn’t even waste my time.
By SeanJohnson3000
June 12, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this
@ Dan…bruh you remind me of a po mans Darrell….just fluckn witya…lol
By Foots
June 12, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this
Dan Nothing can articulate or intimate someone point, better than the person themselves.
Well, I’m assuming that the person actually wrote about themselves…
As far as online dating, I’m cute, I just don’t see the need to spend money to find somebody that in the end could be dealing in deception.
But you’ll spend the money to take a woman out that could be dealing in deception though. For that one $100, you could have had access to a million women who actually disclose information to you upfront for about six full months.
It wouldn’t work for you. We get that. But you can’t exactly knock something you haven’t tried.
By kimmie
June 12, 2008 4:07 PM | Link to this
Foots - I have friends who know that they want more, but insist to the guy that they are fine with their “friendship”, while secretly wanting him to come around. This used to be me and what I was referring to earlier. Funny how you started out as an engineer and now you’re an analyst. I majored in accounting, but got out and decided I hated it and was not going to take the CPA. I was a financial analyst too, up until last Nov, when I was “appointed” to manager. I was happy doing my thing and being an analyst, was finished with climbing the corporate ladder, but they saw the leadership tendencies,darn!LOL!
By IslandGirl
June 12, 2008 4:07 PM | Link to this
Dan It is simple. If sex is the deepest connection two people can share why not have the connection with someone you know appreciates it, desires it from you and only you, and most all knows the sex is a only a fragment of the connection that brought you closer to each other. jmo
By the way, how are you doing?
By Jamoca
June 12, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this
@ Cee:
LMAO!!!…you and ForReal are somethin’ else…but das’ what I was talkin’ bout, get the shyt started!…outstanding performance, chic!LOL!!!
@ Demigawd:
Hello, back at cha’ babe…I’oun like how they only let you come outta the cargo hold once a day, betta think about goin’ Cinque on massa’s azz!…LOL!!!…btw, whatcha’ got for me today, me in the jukin’ mood aka…”The Dance of the Slaves”…LOL!!!
@ 2Can:
I went to Tampa Bay Vo-Tech HS..(go Titans!!!)c/o of 98…and yes I remember Uptown 21, dangggg!…I had no idea…most of my folks are all here, which are mostly my mom’s folks, my granny from St. Pete orig, lots of folks come across that bridge to Tampa, just to git down, with the git down!….who would have thought…
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this
Kimmie Please sweetie don’t wake that up! Coporate America is a whole nother beast in itself. If ya’ ever need any help i have experience…I bided 6 months w/ATR (Affairs To Remember).
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 4:11 PM | Link to this
sexy i only clicked once. lol.
dan just tired of giving it to someone who has no investment in it. that’s all. if a day comes where i can’t resist … we’re all grown.
hey page!
By Blue Kolla
June 12, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this
Dan “Celibate, when women say they celibate the first thing I think of is that she has sooo much sex that she had to put a stop to it. Now more dyck for me, I’ve had my fill for now”.
Exactly. A broad that used a good thing the wrong way and got beat down by it to the point that they realize that they can’t control it or themselves.
Therefore they give it up all together. Sounds like being on the AA wagon to me.
To parallel that, a sober broad is an alcoholic; and a celibate broad is a reformed H03. Just being honest.
By Blue Kolla
June 12, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this
Dan “Celibate, when women say they celibate the first thing I think of is that she has sooo much sex that she had to put a stop to it. Now more dyck for me, I’ve had my fill for now”.
Exactly. A broad that used a good thing the wrong way and got beat down by it to the point that they realize that they can’t control it or themselves.
Therefore they give it up all together. Sounds like being on the AA wagon to me.
To parallel that, a sober broad is a reformed alcoholic; and a celibate broad is a reformed H03. Just being honest.
By Foots
June 12, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this
Dan if the feeling are not expressed, the words not articulated, I don’t know.
You don’t have to be a mind reader, you just have to be observant. I can tell you so many things about people who have never said a word to me, just by the power of observation. If you’re not using your sense of observation to tell you more about the people that you deal with, and only rely on what comes out of their mouths, you’re missing an important weapon in your social arsenal.
I know when someone is mad at me. I know when somebody cares about me and when they don’t.
I even know when somebody’s feelings for me are greater than my own for them, they don’t have to say a word. So if I take advantage of a guy who says he only wants to be my friend, but I know he wants more, it’s not just his fault anymore and I can take responsibility for my half of the train wreck. We have choices as to how we deal with people. I choose to walk away if I can’t get with his program and the train wreck will be solely his. You choose to act like you have no idea that a woman has feelings for you if she hasn’t expressed them, so you can keep it status quo and add more cars to the train wreck. To each his own.
DuShawn We missed you.
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this
du However, I’ve come to the realization that I don’t know how to date anymore.
i was that way when i moved to atl. didn’t have a clue. now, shyt … you can’t tell me nothing. lol.
By Dan
June 12, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this
@IG
Doing fine, how are you? Glad to be off the road…for now.
To your point: It’s not that you don’t want to share that connection in the manner you described, I wasn’t arguing the negative connotation, actually the affirmative. I don’t think the two ideas are mutually exclusive though. You can enjoy that connection and build on it with someone you don’t konw, I think people don’t allow for that possibility, I do becuase it has happened for/to me.
@Foots
I don’t have to try it, whether pledging or online dating, I just don’t understand the thought process. The world is a ghetto, true, but why spend that time and that investment on a depreciating asset. Think about it, I have access to a million women and don’t have to spend a dime.
@SJ
I have the senority my friend!
By Page1908
June 12, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this
Hey beautiful how are you? are you still in atlanta? forgive me, I am soooo way outta the blog loop..lol
Foots I saw your pics on the PlayDate website. Did you see it?
By IslandGirl
June 12, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this
2CPTG and SJ Why you guys hating on the light-skin brothers and sisters…lol. Truth they hating on yah. lol Look…Ginuwine, Al B. Sure, and the Debarge brothers had it going on back in the day. lol
By Dan
June 12, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this
@Beautiful
Did you ask him to invest? Was he given a prospectus with which to make an informed decision, or were you like the CMO debt originator that sold him something on a promise?
That being said, when you get the understanding that you are the only one with a real investment in that “security” you’ll see life differently.
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this
bk honestly, do you think i’m a ho3 or was? without a commitment, i don’t see why i should. give me reasons why i should give you some or any other guy on this blog. remember, being celibate is new to me. it will be one year in july.
By kimmie
June 12, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this
Cee - Okay, thanks! I would love to know the inner workings of Affairs to Remember!
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this
Kimmie is a slayer…wth??? how exciting! That is soooo cool. You, man and the kiddies doing Arts together!?!? SEXAAAY! i luv it…you already know.
Jamoca my grandad and grandmom are from Saint Pete…now we betnot be kin’.
2C has burped.
By QC
June 12, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this
Hello MsPage
Have a great evening everyone!
HOLLA
By Dan
June 12, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this
Foots
What you’re talking about is not observation, you’re speaking about the act of assuming, as in assuming facts not in evidence. That, I do not do. When I observe, I take note but am careful not to draw conclusions about anything/anyone.
BTW can a brother get a link to the playdate website, I’ll try (just about) anything once.
By Jamoca
June 12, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this
@ Cee/ MyTwo:
Here’s one of my fav’s when ya’ gurl is in one of her mellow moods, feelin’ all glowy n’ ish….
Southern Stuff
You’re like a cadillac cool breeze in the 70’s, you a me, holdin hands talking family that Southern thing I like, you’ve got the southern stuff I like It’s like After school, phienin hard cause I’m into you barbecue,I’ll leave a note baby doll for you I know thats what you like, you’ve got that southern stuff I like, like, like
[Verse] Sweet southern thang, pretty skin, hair fixed and when you grin, thats when all I begin Cool, like a fresh breeze, ooohh please come with me Lets take a ride, swing to the other side I much a blidged, to meet your acquaintance You’re full of substance, and oohh girl I love it
[Chorus]
[Verse] Ms. Georgia Peach, Carolina when you speak You’re southern draw, makes me want to know you more Do you want a big family, well if so I can handle it A gentleman, do the very best I can, provide for you, i know you want to finish school And tell that Jansis Puty, girl I want to be your study I know just what you like, I know just what need Southern lovin girls,is all you need for me I know just what you want, I know just what you need Southern lovin girl, I can set you free
By PornStar* in da Building (**6'1**)
June 12, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this
CEE girl mines make my butt look big too, even though it is gigantic, I love them, I have every color
By IslandGirl
June 12, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this
Dan I agree, but that shows maturity in you. For some men and women, sex is just sex and they do not know how to allow the experience to grow into something genuine or exclusive between the two. Besides, sex does make things complicated.
Du I always enjoy when you come on the blog and share your wisdom.
Blue you’re something else, but you make a good point though. I can tell you’re a hand full.
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this
dan no. i became C after i left the last person i was dating last july. it was a decision i made as a single women. i wasn’t a ho3. i only had sex with who i was seeing.
By Jamoca
June 12, 2008 4:32 PM | Link to this
@ Cee:
LOL!!! ….that explains it all right there, cuz yo’ azz is so dayum crazy!!!….ain’t gettin’ in no particulars w/ you on this here blog, girlie…that would be somethin, tho!!! HA!!!
Aiggghhht, 2C nah…betchu’ come down this way, just to cut up and act a dayum foo…huh?…this is definitely the place to release all tensions…LOL!!! I’m sure you’ll make it count, tho…
By Foots
June 12, 2008 4:32 PM | Link to this
Dan I just don’t understand the thought process.
In that case, save your comments for those thought processes that you DO understand. The advantage is with the person who can understand, or at least validate, more than one viewpoint.
A million women and none of them can fit your program? Is something wrong with the program?
Page Yeah, I saw them. I was saying the other day that they mostly got me from behind. I tore up the hula hoop though!
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 4:32 PM | Link to this
I would love to know the inner workings of Affairs to Remember!
Kimmie…my whole purpose of the 6months;). I aspire “events” in my retire days… hopefully soon.
Ginuwine, Al B. Sure, and the Debarge brothers had it going on back in the day. lol
IslandG gurl i’m about to throw up in my mouth. HA.
By 2CPTG©
June 12, 2008 4:32 PM | Link to this
I ain’t hatin on the light skinn’d folks no’mo…..but back in the days??? I’m tellin ya, I couldn’t stand them cats…..I’mma child of the 80’s, so we talkin bout light skin, with long jehri curls and shyt……females just ate that shyt up!!! So when you talk about life altering events, for me, that was one…..back ‘round 85….from then on, I was determined to be “pretty” too, dammit!
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this
Beautiful So you had seasex (not seafood)…you had sex with whoever you saw? j/k
By Staceye AKA Black Mamba
June 12, 2008 4:37 PM | Link to this
dan but why intentionally deprive yourself from what at its core, is the deepest connection two people can share? I can answer that…because men do not really see it as a deep connection! It’s just sex. So yeah when put my emotions on the line for some dude who labels my puddy as just another piece for the puddy platter? No thanks! I can do without sex. I can and have been doing it and to tell you the truth I do not miss it. So no it is not my core….my heart and soul takes of that spot. Sex is on the outside looking in…
2C you was hatin’on El Debarge and Al B Sure? LOL It’s funny …i am not really into light skinned guys…but I will date a white guy or a light Latino (heck even a brown latino like my complexion. I think I have reverse descrimmination on light skinned dudes! LOL Cause all the girls was ape shyt over the light skinned dudes so they thought they were the shyt back in the early 90’s. LOL
Blue I am far form a a ho3 of any sorts…I just refused to have sex with any old fool because I know my emtions are connected to my body and I will not waste my emotions on just any Joe Blow!
By Blue Kolla
June 12, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this
Beautiful honestly, do you think i’m a ho3 or was?
Wasn’t talking to you per se. There are exceptions to every rule, but generally speaking, what I said is the TRUTH.
By IslandGirl
June 12, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this
Cee are you telling me you did’nt feel any of those brothers back in the day? lol
By Poppa Grande
June 12, 2008 4:39 PM | Link to this
I guess that Cross Colors are back.
By Foots
June 12, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this
Dan No, I said “observation” because that’s what I meant. You observe (information) and you draw some type of conclusion from that observation (processing the information). You mean to tell me that you’re nearly 30 and are clueless if a woman is feeling you more than she says she is????? Hellz, I can smell interest (or disinterest, for that matter) from a mile away, no matter what comes out a dude’s mouth.
Blog Guys Is Dan the only one who can’t draw a conclusion that a woman is really into him?
By Page1908
June 12, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this
Foots Yeah.
Dan I thought it was “ok”, but to me, if you have been once, it’s the same every time. I probably won’t go again for another 5 months. The last playdate i went to was back in Jan, i think. also, it was really HOT and musty in there..no AC it seemed like. also, adults don’t do a good job at sharing on the games. some folks were at the same game the entire time i was there.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this
2C
I was determined to be “pretty” too, dammit!
so you say you a pretty boy aye?
You like that don’t cha’ boi!?!
By mytwocents
June 12, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this
MiniMoca You’s a baby! Kinda old soul, tho, huh? That’s a nice one- whose is it? And yes those breezies were quite refershing yesterday.
By kimmie
June 12, 2008 4:43 PM | Link to this
2C - You have me rolling over here!!LMAO!! My mom used to call dudes like that “syrupy-haired”!!! Never cared much for the pretty dudes - like em a little bit harder, rougher around the edges, but classy.
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this
slim then i would really be a ho3. and if i did seesex, i would make sure i got PAID! lol.
staceye thanks.
bk gotcha!
dan i’m stickin’ my tongue out at you.
page i’m at home, finally.
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 4:47 PM | Link to this
you could be anywhere else, but you decided to be here with me.
awww. i love that.
By Blue Kolla
June 12, 2008 4:48 PM | Link to this
IG Here’s another question to throw at your celibate girls in the hair salon. Exactly who was it that turned that light on? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure that they didn’t wake up one morning thinking, “I ain’t even fuggin’ no more.”
Report back in 10 days your findings.
By Cemeeli
June 12, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this
IslandG my 80’s crush was Hammer.
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this
Blue_Kolla: LOL Wouldn’t even waste my time.
^^^ Futher proof that AmazonRed is doing everything right! Whoo hoo.
By Foots
June 12, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this
BigPoppa I guess that Cross Colors are back.
LOL!! I should have worn my red slacks today to commemorate the return!
Blue To parallel that, a sober broad is a reformed alcoholic; and a celibate broad is a reformed H03. Just being honest.
Or could be that the sober man or woman got drunk twice and it made him/her sick, so they decided that they could party without alcohol. I know people who stopped drinking even small amounts of alcohol not because they were addicted, but because addiction runs in their family and they didn’t want the risk.
Celibate people make their choices for a variety of reasons, maybe they WERE out there, maybe they are on a different spiritual path, or maybe they’ve decided that they just want to be with only one more person for the rest of their lives.
It’s hard to make anyone’s personal decisions fit into a one-size-fits-all box, when everything is so situational.
By Poppa Grande
June 12, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this
2C I was determined to be “pretty” too, dammit
I thought that you were an Alpha, not a Kappa
By Foots
June 12, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this
Cee my 80’s crush was Hammer.
Girl, I loved me some Teddy Riley! He had all the acts back in the day. And I’d be lying if I didn’t include Michael Jackson from his Off The Wall/Thriller days. That Leisure Curl was dripping just right!!! LOL!
By kimmie
June 12, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this
Foots - You are wasting your time trying to explain yourself to Dan. I’ve had that debate so many times with dudes - they know exactly what you are talking about, speaking is not the only form of communication! But to admit it would be to take some responsibility and we know that’s not going to happen!
By 2CPTG©
June 12, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this
Not your proverbial “pretty boy”….I just had to create my own flair…and back then, I saw them dudes didn’t have to do shyt but be light skinn’d…So when you got that strike against you,you have to seek out another “edge”…so I carved my own niche…..and dammit, I’mma mess now!
By Beautiful
June 12, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this
my 80’s crush was ronnie, bobbie, ricky and mike … and ralph!
By mytwocents
June 12, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this
Cee Tryin it now and takes patience. Current brides= looney. Drivin me to sweeter teas…wanna focus on other events like fundraisers in future. Unless Lily Amber Savannah Tiffany’s mama needs me for the Christening…
By SlimOne
June 12, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this
BlueK maybe the decision to be celibate is sort of like an Emotional Detox usually needed after a line of bad relationships, courtships, cutbuddies, etc. It’s like going away to rehab to clear your head, (or pddy for that matter) and gain some sense of self again.
Slim now playing spin da bottle to see who will give her the next earmuffilectomy…sad to say as the bottle slows to a stop, everyone in blogsville is gone…now pondering how the hellz i’mma do myself.
By SexyLeggs
June 12, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this
Good night everyone!
**The road to success is lined with many tempting parking spaces.” (Try not to get any tickets along the way.)
Peace Out!
By IslandGirl
June 12, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this
Cee HAMMER!!! Ok..
Blue I’m sure it can be due to a new revelation, a bad experience, spiritual growth, age, disappointment, or just being tied of bad sex. I think I’ve heard it all from my friends and others…no need to go to the salon to ponder that question.
For me, I enjoy great sex, but I’ve had my fill of un-commital sex. It is very well possible that I can change my mindset.
By Foots
June 12, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this
kimmie That’s exactly it. But you know me, when I’m actually in the mood to talk, I let the juice loose. It also makes for interesting conversation later with my male friends, who wonder aloud what the hellz kind of dudes we have on this blog. LOL!
By AmazonRed
June 12, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this
It’s hard to make anyone’s personal decisions fit into a one-size-fits-all box, when everything is so situational.
Foots - Exactly why I didn’t even waste my time going there. Especially ones talking about “it’s the truth” no it isn’t it’s YOUR personal truth that has has no actual bearing on reality.
Too funny.
By The Truth
June 12, 2008 5:02 PM | Link to this
Light skinned folks stand up. Chirp Chirp
I’ve met a few folks that had a hankering for light skinned cats, including a good friend that got his wife scooped up by one. It’s not the skin, it’s the heart.
Hi IG, Mo, Jamo and the rest of the folks coming in hella late. Y’all do know this thing opens at 9 right?