So I ended my man diet (lasted about a week!) and I am ready to mingle. So far so good; I hit up a rooftop party, selected my favorite places to watch sports, and found the best patios to do brunch.

I have noticed that we have all this eye candy on the dating scene - but it’s like the pollen in Atlanta. Eventually you just get used to it. The ones that cause you to pause become few and far between. So, word to the wise (diva!), when you see someone with uber dating potential, you simply have to be prepared.

If you don’t, more than likely, your window of opportunity will close! I know this because it just happened to me recently. I noticed someone intriguing and what did I do? I walked behind him and never made eye contact!

Of course, as soon as he left, I came up with 800 witty, fascinating, and engaging things I could have said to him. I like to think that I have a healthy dose of self-confidence, but I think this happens to all of us at one time or another, uh doesn’t it?!

Have you ever experienced approach anxiety? How did you handle it?

Is there someone you had the chance to ask out, but decided not to? What held you back? If you could do a “do over”, what do you think you would do differently?

Ladies, what compels you to approach a man? Is it how he carries himself? His body language? How do you deal with the approach anxiety and make your way over to him? What signals do you send to let him know to approach you?

Guys, I bet you deal with this ALL the time! I know, what do I have to complain about, right? Seriously, how do you guys DO it? Does it get easier with age, experience, and/or more confidence? Have you ever met a woman that completely threw your approach/game off? How did you handle it?

What makes you go from the approach to pursuing/seeing someone who enamors you?

Happy Cinco De Mayo Everyone!! Where will you be celebrating?

Permalink | Comments (181) | Post your comment | Categories: Dating

Comments

By Bit-O-Honey

May 5, 2008 8:31 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers, I’m baaaack!! I’m lurkin this morning (Great topic WD). I have to get through a million emails. Geez, the repercussions of a wonderful vacay!

By I am Legend

May 5, 2008 8:50 AM | Link to this

Have you ever met a woman that completely threw your approach/game off? How did you handle it?

Nope!!..my approach varies depending on mood or setting….I dont have fear..i will approach…does not matter..i have my ego in check like that…rejection is a part of life..i dont have any illusion about that…and i know everyone is not cut for legend

By kinderbabe

May 5, 2008 8:51 AM | Link to this

good morning!

Yes, I have had anxiety about approaching a guy before. I’m very iffy when it comes to that…sometimes i’m o.k. w/it, sometimes not. I try to watch movements first before I approach to see if it’s a good idea. I don’t think that I let “the one” get away by not approaching though.

I did meet a very special man in my life that way. Turns out we were moving in the same circle for almost 10 years! Funny it took us so long to meet. We wound up meeting b/c I saw him standing away from the crowd at our mutual friends’party. Glad I didn’t have anxiety then! lol

By 2CPTG�

May 5, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this

Never anxiety, but caution, yes; And of course, it gets easier with experience. You become a veteran at it, and you learn to spot certain characteristics, and mannerisms, which dictate your method of approach.

By pisces 08

May 5, 2008 9:03 AM | Link to this

Good morning All. Guys deal with this all the time. For me, it gets better with age, experience. I have my ego/confidence in check(I think). If I don’t approach it’s because I don’t have time for the games.

@Ared. Checked out the page, Nice!

By QC

May 5, 2008 9:13 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers, have a great day!

By The Truth

May 5, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone.

Great topic WD.

I think everyone’s experienced that moment when you see someone so desirable it makes you catch your breath. I do think it gets easier as you get older but sometimes that excitement is the thrill. The best approach is just not to try and get so witty. Just say hi or something of that nature and go from there. MY .02

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

May 5, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

Morning All!! Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Kinderbabe I am co-signing your post. Most times I dont have a problem approaching a guy but I do read body language or just be observant first.

Wassup I am Legend

By BriteEyez

May 5, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

Good Morning all

Ladies, what compels you to approach a man?

Of course, physical attraction but also his body language. I look for a man that appears confident and mature.

I am very comfortable with myself and confident in who I am so if I feel drawn to a man I will not wait for him to approach.

Unfortunately, I have found that there can sometimes be a negative side to that. On a few occasions I have directed that attention and approach to the wrong kind of man and was completely misread.

By FED UP WITH CORP WORLD

May 5, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

I work around TOOOO MANY RODENTS!!!!!!! A NOSEY RODENT, A UGLY RODENT, A SQUICKY VOICE RODENT, A RODENT W*******, A BCH A* RODENT, A KNOW IT ALL RODENT, A PLAIN DUMB RODENT!!!!!!!

By abc

May 5, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

It’s true that men are far more accustomed to making an approach. I would suggest simply making yourself apparent, make sure he notices you, if he doesn’t approach he’s likely not interested.

If you feel you must make the approach yourself, then be just that: yourself. No witty rejoinders and one-liners, just a normal conversation. Conversation starters can be anything handy — ‘course, if you’re just walking down the street and notice a hottie, and don’t have any topics at hand, your mind draws a blank, then go home and take a cold shower and re-evaluate what motivates your interest!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 5, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this

Morning, all. :-)

I’m kinda shy by nature, so the whole “anxiety” thing (for lack of a better word) is always there to a certain extent, but mostly in the form of not wanting to be summarily rejected by the other person. LOL!

I’m not even gonna try and front - I don’t like rejection, so I’m fairly methodical when it comes to initiating conversation (or contact in general) with someone. In situations like what Diva described, my mindset is more along the lines of that song by Jesse Johnson called “Can You Help Me?”

Girl you know I’d love to know your name

But I don’t have line

Approaching you with talk, baby, oh, so tastelessly how

How could I waste your time?

So, yeah, there have been times when I’ve had a chance to talk to a particular woman and didn’t.

By Raqi

May 5, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

Anxiety aka Butterflies…that potential New Boo Foo.

IMO in can work for you and against you.

By kinderbabe

May 5, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

hey mo:) how are you? body language does say a lot. i look for signs of super arrogance and if i see them, i steer clear…lol. just like some women, there is a type of man that looks like he’s waiting for someone to step to him.

By Teresa

May 5, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

Morting

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

May 5, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

kinderbabe How are you? You are so right about that arrogance thing! That is why I observe for a sec as opposed to just jumping as soon as I see him!

By I am Legend

May 5, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

@darrell..i remember back in the day when i was younger the anxiety was there because i was extra skinny and my head is big…folks use to call me mr microphone….so that was my biggest hangup that she would not like me bases on what she saw..so what i did was hit the gym and let my underdevelop body catch up with the rest of me…by 20 my body was right..head still big but body matched to some extent….so the girls started rolling in….i also discovered another rule of attraction…MEN ar more so judge on there earning/security potential versus looks….and women are judged on beauty alone…

By SexyLeggs

May 5, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone! I don’t have any anxiety woes. I’m very confident in myself, and if someone catches my eye to point that I want to direct my attention to him I WILL!!!

Summer track officially started this weekend….woo hoo and bah humbug all at the same time (LOL)!

By BriteEyez

May 5, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

body language does say a lot. i look for signs of super arrogance and if i see them, i steer clear

Kinderbabe you’re right about that!

It amazes me how, “Hello, my name is BriteEyez, what’s yours?” Can translate into, “I want to screw you.”

I’m like wtf?? Dude, I just asked you your name!!

By Cemeeli

May 5, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

Good Morning!

I’d watch a persons demeanor or manner and then maybe/maybenot approach them. I most times end up being the ‘lil sis’ with a high spirit.

kinderbabe i understand the “super arrogance” person i’ve mosttimes been able to break or bond with those types. Maybe it’s the boldness of me letting arrogant know that it unbecoming and to please shut that down. Be it that i recently told a arrogant person that just b/c they are abv level @ xyz does not give them the right to belittle abc. i dunno where i get that spirit of bold for the unapproachable.

Did everyone have a good w/e?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 5, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

Legend

I was once like that, too, man - skinny as a rail. LOL! I’ve been hitting the gym regularly for the past few years and am now at about 220 pounds at 5’10”, but it was strictly a health thing; wasn’t trying to attrack chicks.

As for the “security/earnings potential”, good point. I wish more women were inclined to see that as being a more important component than the physical. I’M NOT SAYING THE PHYSICAL IS NOT IMPORTANT, but there are women who still see the physical aspect as being above all else. As for me, I may not be tall enough or handsome enough for some women but, thank the Lord, I’ve done alright in the “security/earnings potential” area.

By anonymousella

May 5, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

I have noticed that we have all this eye candy on the dating scene

really? no seriously. really? where is this eye candy? i rarely see it when i’m out and about. i need some suggestions. eye candy gives me hope…LOL.

Have you ever experienced approach anxiety?

yep. which is why i don’t do the approaching. i suppose it helps that i hardly ever see folks that i want to approach and i also hardly ever see folks that i want to approach me.

Is there someone you had the chance to ask out, but decided not to? What held you back? If you could do a �do over�, what do you think you would do differently?

there’s this one dude at my office who i wouldn’t mind um “getting friendly” with.

i refuse to ask him though. despite his effing rockstar sexiness that turns every woman who comes within 10 feet of him into a giggly groupie, it would be a bad idea. we work together. he’s got a kid.

funny thing is, i think he was trying to say he wanted more, but i missed the signal at the time. then 10 min later, i was like “wait. was he asking me out on a date?” (i’m clueless like that.)

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 5, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

anonymousella “funny thing is, i think he was trying to say he wanted more, but i missed the signal at the time.”

Signals suck, don’t they? LOL! If a woman is interested in me, I’d much rather she just tell me straight out than expect me to pick on her little “signals”. Hell, even use flash cards if you have to. LOL! I’ve said this on the blog before, but my communication style pretty much black and white. The fewer “signals” you use, the more I’ll understand what you want and the less confusion there’ll be between us.

By Raqi

May 5, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

Darrell you are correct. Anxiety stems partly from a fear of being rejected. We all have had it and still do at some time or the other. IMO it is a common human emotion. If we would take away the word rejection and replace with something more accurate such as just not being that person�s preference or �cup of tea� the whole meet and greet process would go over much smoother.

By Binford2K8

May 5, 2008 10:31 AM | Link to this

How do the guys do it? Beer, beer and more beer! Enough so we’re relaxed, but not enough to be incoherent ;p

Darrell, I was always underweight growing up but now I am “normal” though maybe a tad on the slender side. Sounds like you seriously bulked up man!

For the guys…. How many times have you either mustered up the nerve or noticed a girl, and just as you were making your way you see them saying their goodbyes? That one always sucks!

By AmazonRed

May 5, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

Greetings all from California. Hope you all had a great weekend.

It�s true that men are far more accustomed to making an approach. I would suggest simply making yourself apparent, make sure he notices you, if he doesn�t approach he�s likely not interested.

I’m with abc on this. I still don’t approach men. Throws off the natural order of things. However, I do work on making it apparent. Sometimes you only have a moment to verify your interest with eye contact or a smile. Sometimes you just get gun shy. You just have to kick yourself and say you’ll do better next time, I guess! But I’m with the group that says it does get easier as you get older.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 5, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

Raqi “We all have had it and still do at some time or the other.”

Exactly. I only wish more of us were willing to admit it about ourselves. As for the whole “meet and greet” process, I’d like to see one of those get-togethers that was based on a person’s faults as opposed to what they felt were their attributes. In other words, a gathering of real people with real shortcomings and real issues. That way, you could cut through all that superficial BS right from the get-go.

Too many people today are looking for perfection, which is really at the root of our being anxious during these kinds of encounters - the perception that the other person expects perfection and that we simply don’t measure up to their expectation.

By dyoung (aka "the champ")

May 5, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

You learn to deal with approach anxiety because rejection is nowhere near as bad as regret. I’d rather approach and get rejected than beat myself up later on for not saying a thing.

By SexyLeggs

May 5, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

…Sometimes you only have a moment to verify your interest with eye contact or a smile. EXACTLY. This is what I mean when I say if I’m interested I’ll let it be known. It doesn’t always have to be verbal. Body language speaks volumes.

…Throws off the natural order of things. I disagree. It’s okay for a woman to approach a man…this isn’t the 1950s. JMO!

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 5, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Buenos dias mi gente…Feliz Cinco de Mayo!!!Margaritas para cada uno!!

Fed Up d*mn…tell us how you really feel! LOL You need the margaritas boo!

anonymousella In response to the lack of Eye Candy…I feel ya girl! Here, do what I do…put on your beer googles (meaning drink until he’s cute)! LOL Then if that doesn’t work, close one eye and squint the other…and that will create the optical illusion of cuteness! LMAO

On topic: I have always been very bold about what I want. So if I see a guy I’d just talk to him. Now I admit my first approach is that of a joke. It may be something we both see that just ain’t right (ie: a chick with nappy black hair and a silky straight blond weave, or the 300 lb chick in stripes wearing 4 inch stillettos looking like they are screaming and are on the verge of breaking). Or if he smells and/or looks good..I will let him know. No biggie! What’s to be afriad of?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 5, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

dyoung “I�d rather approach and get rejected than beat myself up later on for not saying a thing.”

I never beat myself up over something that never transpires. If I don’t step to her in the first place, what is there to beat myself up about other than my own imagination over various “what if” scenarios. If anything, I’m more inclined to be upset over the rejection itself, because I’m thinking it was due to something I did (or didn’t do) or said (or didn’t say).

By AmazonRed

May 5, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

I disagree. It�s okay for a woman to approach a man�this isn�t the 1950s. JMO!

SexyLeggs - You are right, it isn’t the 1950s. But I look at society and the way it is now and a lot of the mess of it can go back to folks not doing things the way it was intended to go.

I believe men approach the women they are interested in. Men are simple!

By Cemeeli

May 5, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

Stac comedic chivalry/politeness “as is” does break the anxiety factor.

if he smells and/or looks good..I will let him know. No biggie! What�s to be afriad of?

Well there is public denunciation. And then one would have to be a different type to handle that embarrassment.

By The Fly Guy (www.flyguychronicles.com)

May 5, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Nice Post,

For most women, I believe that anxiety on some level will always be there when approaching a guy … society sets it up that way.

As far as men go, the older and more “professional” you become, I really believe that your success plays a critical role in your level of confidence when approaching women.

By DreamsMaterialize

May 5, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

Morning New gig got me busy as h^ll, so just stopped in to wish everyone a great day.

By The Fly Guy (www.flyguychronicles.com)

May 5, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

Nice Post,

For most women, I believe that anxiety on some level will always be there when approaching a guy … society sets it up that way.

As far as men go, the older and more “professional” you become, I really believe that your success plays a critical role in your level of confidence when approaching women.

By SexyLeggs

May 5, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

I understand your concept ARed of the mess we’re in is because because people did things outside the “natural order” of things. Yet, somethings need to be done outside the natural order. Men should always approach the woman they’re interested in, but it’s ok for women to do it sometimes. Take Santoria Lynn for example. Every so often we can and should take a spin at it. That’s all I’m saying. To do so on a continium is not natural!

By abc

May 5, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

The thing with women approaching men is that they typically don’t have much restraint, and their obvious nerves add to it. It comes across as throwing themselves at a man, most often as getting a good running start and then throwing themselves at him. It doesn’t make a very good impression, you’re likely to not get much more than taken advantage of. Better to let the man make the approach, if he’s interested.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 5, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

FG “As far as men go…I really believe that your success plays a critical role in your level of confidence when approaching women.”

I agree with you on that, but what can we (men) do to ensure that they (women) don’t see that “confidence” as arrogance? I mean, the last thing I want is for a woman to perceive me as using the car I drive or the kind of house of I have or my job as reasons why she should give me her time and attention.

By AmazonRed

May 5, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs - So where do we draw the line at what needs to be done outside the “natural order?” And who makes that decision? Why balk at women proposing if you aren’t going to balk at women stepping to men? Like always, do what works for you, but me approaching men doesn’t work for me.

I’m an old fashioned gal and am attracted to old fashioned type guys. There is a segment of men that don’t want women approaching them. And that’s the type of guy I’m into. And I don’t feel like I’m missing out on a thing.

By BriteEyez

May 5, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

I think that whether or not you experience anxiety when you approach someone depends upon your mindset at that time.

Going into it with the thought that, at the very least you can have an enjoyable conversation with someone different and new. You could also come away with a new aquaintance that could become a good friend.

Nobody likes rejection but it is a reality of life. I just think if your mind is right, you can significantly lower the likelihood of being rejected

Even if I don’t come away with a love connection there is always the possibility of gaining something positive. JMO

By Cemeeli

May 5, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

First off, get into the right mindset. When it comes down to it, he�s just a guy, and you�re just a girl/woman no other factors should get in the way of that. Trying to get time speak alone with him or a date; Separating a guy from his friends/social set can be a bit complex for women. Start off and see if you can catch his eye, and smile. If he smiles back, it may be an invitation to come talk to him. You wlk/sashay over, smile and say hi. Don�t go overboard be it a friendly lady. Regardless of what type of guy he is, he�s still just a man. Nothing is infallible but YOU wanted to do it, so why not?

just talking

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 5, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli I have never experienced that but if I did I woudl probably make a joke on that as well! LOL

By SexyLeggs

May 5, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

So where do we draw the line at what needs to be done outside the �natural order?� And who makes that decision? This I don’t know. I’m not balking at anything. I think to each their own and whatever makes them feel comfortable. We all gave ^5s a few weeks back in approaching a man. It’s all good as far as I’m concerned!

By Cemeeli

May 5, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

um…Cemeeli…@ 11:34…imma refresh my page agian.

By Cemeeli

May 5, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Stac Cinco de Mayo has sumthin’ wierd going on in here.

anyway…um yea, I’m sure you haven’t mamma. You seem like cool person. I can sometimes be looking sideways at a person for any said reason and so with that, NO i won’t approach or think twice. i’m speaking on types…shy, arrogant, giddy, silly, gator mouth, potty mouth…etc.

By I am Legend

May 5, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

@darrell

I mean, the last thing I want is for a woman to perceive me as using the car I drive or the kind of house of I have or my job as reasons why she should give me her time and attention.

dont talk about it….if she ask you can mention i have a nice job that enjoy…on house…i purchased a nice home that i could afford..in a growing community ….on the car…you can say…you mean my gas suck on four wheels…i need to trade it in for a ford focus and call it a day…lol…all light witty stuff to now show you hung up on what you have or where you going…besides i am sure the women you have chosen will not be matching you in success or life trappings

By Raqi

May 5, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

Darrell and FlyGuy …your success

Would you to be referring to the type of job a man has or just someone that enjoy and is good at whatever it is he does?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 5, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

Amazon “There is a segment of men that don�t want women approaching them.”

Well, I, for one, am not in that segment. LOL! I gots no problem with a woman approaching me. None whatsoever. Like I said before, at least that will eliminate any ambiguity or confusion because, in the end, that’s what it’s all about - being on the same page - whatever page that might be.

By AmazonRed

May 5, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

I think to each their own and whatever makes them feel comfortable

No actually you said “we can and should take a spin at it” and this isn’t the “1950s.” What makes some of us feel comfortable is letting the guys come to us. Heck, leaves more for the go getters out there to get those men!

By For Real

May 5, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!

I always hear from women that were intrested in me and are now a friend that I appear to be unapproachable or intimidating or both bc of the way I a look and body lang. I ask what look and what body lang and they cannot give me answer. Then one of my friends told me the reason she didn’t approach nor make any signals is that she couldn’t read me.

My point, signals, confidence, or body lang is only a small part of the process. If you like what you see go for it.

For Real now unbuttonning his shirt down to the third button while winking at Wise and playing with his chest hair.

By AmazonRed

May 5, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

Well, I, for one, am not in that segment. LOL! I gots no problem with a woman approaching me. None whatsoever.

Pimpin Darrell - This does not come as a surprise to me in the least.

By The Fly Guy (www.flyguychronicles.com)

May 5, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

@ Darrell “what can we (men) do to ensure that they (women) don�t see that �confidence� as arrogance?”

The way you avoid coming off arrogant is by not talking about your success. Some men use their possessions or accomplishments as conversation pieces. Wrong move. Trust me, a woman will be able to detect if you’re about something simply by the energy that you give off…so keep those kinds of words to a minimum. By diverting the attention away from yourself, you will avoid being viewed as arrogant.

By QC

May 5, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all the Blog Mothers…i know i’m early…but it’s all good!

By Cemeeli

May 5, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

Trust me, a woman will be able to detect if you�re about something simply by the energy that you give off�

FlyGuy stick around. It’s just that simple.

By SexyLeggs

May 5, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

ARed when I said I think to each their own and whatever makes them feel comfortable I wasn’t referring to my previous post. I was referring to life itself.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 5, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

Raqi “Would you to be referring to the type of job a man has or just someone that enjoy and is good at whatever it is he does?”

I’d say the latter, because that’s how I define “success” (being good at - and content in - what you do). However, as a man, I still think we have to walk a fine line because women (for the most part) want a man who is “successful”, correct? Meaning, he posesses a demonstrated ability to provide for them. However, it is the type of job which oftentimes serves as that proof, which presents a dichotomy in some ways, does it not?

By Cemeeli

May 5, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

QC thank you AND thank you. btw - i am free spirit lol @ dictionary for women.

By Gina

May 5, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

I mean, the last thing I want is for a woman to perceive me as using the car I drive or the kind of house of I have or my job as reasons why she should give me her time and attention. - is THIS coming from the same guy who posted a picture of himself on this blog standing next to his car?

By QC

May 5, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

Darrell is not an arrogant Man, he’s never come off to be that way in person or on this blog

By QC

May 5, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

You’re welcome Cee-me-me i’m the same way :)

By AmazonRed

May 5, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

is THIS coming from the same guy who posted a picture of himself on this blog standing next to his car?

LOL. Pimpin Darrell did that? When? Are u sure?

Funny.

By Satoria Lynn

May 5, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

Good Monday to you,

Hey Sexyleggs, Mamalongleggs!

I say we have another APPROACH ASSIGNEMENT for this week and report back Friday. Approaching is very scary to me. When I did it awhile back, the butterflies in my stomach were doing their job.

melo Your momma so skinny, she can hoola hoop a dayum cheerio!

By Lurker

May 5, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

@ Gina - what did was that picture posted? I’d like to go back and look, solely out of curiosity.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 5, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

“THIS coming from the same guy who posted a picture of himself on this blog standing next to his car?”

See what I mean? LOL! So now I can’t even take a picture standing next to my own car! smh! LOL!!! So, Gina, I guess you wouldn’t want to ride in either, would you? If I meeting you somewhere for a date (hypothetically speaking) would you prefer that I leave my car at home and take MARTA? Maybe that would exemplify a more humble or modest attitude on my part?

The only problem with that is that MARTA does run anywhere near where I live. But, I guess that’s arrogant of me, too, isn’t it, that I don’t live in the city? I guess you take that as my having “forgotten where I came from”, don’t you? Or, to take it one step further, perhaps I should decline my salary from now on and just work for my employer as a “volunteer”. That would be most benevolent of me, wouldn’t it?

GOOD GRIEF! LOL!!!!

By Chuck Lurker

May 5, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this

Is the name calling necessary? When a young lady does this, it makes her very UNattractive!!!

By Cemeeli

May 5, 2008 12:33 PM | Link to this

For Real - is taco meat the new commodity this season? I saw it live and wondered. why?

By Dino

May 5, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

What’s wrong with posting a picture of yourself next to your car? I’ve taken several pictures of me next to my car and they’re on my web page. Sounds like y’all dranking some Hater Aid with extra sugar. If that Man is doing well in life, that’s good for him let it be. I’m also a successful person

By Staceye AKA Black Mamba

May 5, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

Darrell Oh that was you standing by the pink convertible Cabriolet with the bumper sticker that said, Honk if you’re horny!”? LOL

By AmazonRed

May 5, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

What�s wrong with posting a picture of yourself next to your car?

Nothing wrong per se. I just don’t get the appeal of taking such pics, personally. Maybe it’s because I’m not into cars.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 5, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

Lurker

Allow me to put this all in CONTEXT, okay? LOL!

The whole picture posting thing was the day we were talking about was someone on here referred to as the “Broke Diaries” (or something to that effect.) It was one of the best days on this blog, I think, because were all reminiscing and posting about the times we struggled, either as children or college students or as young adults trying to make it. (That was the day SexyLeggs posted about how she used to each sugar sandwiches.) :-)

Anyway (and I think either Rell or Truth can back me up on this) Amazon made a comment about how “broke” we all were and in response to that, I made a tongue-in-cheek “before and after” post which included a TWO links: one was to a picture of a MARTA bus and the other was to a picture of me standing next to my car. The purpose was all in fun as if to say, “Nah, I ain’t broke.”

The picture is from my “FalconsLife” page on the Atlanta Falcons Web site. ALL members of the Atlanta Falcons Message Boards have a FalconsLife page, so it’s not like I just posted that picture just for this blog! That’s all it was. Just a tongue-in-cheek thing. I can’t beleive somebody is reaching waaayyyy back there to bring it up. SMH! LOL!!!

By Dino

May 5, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

Well just say you’re not into cars Amazon Red don’t hate on the guy, there’s name calling & blog bashing on here as it is. Staceye i’m sure Darrell is laughing at your post, not only is it not funny - but down right stupid!

By Lurker

May 5, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

What�s wrong with posting a picture of yourself next to your car?

I would usually agree that there is nothing wrong with that but, to see that picture it’s clear what was being showcased… hell, you can’t even see him LOL!!

By QC

May 5, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

This is all so funny…you broke it down Darrell just let it go, lol

By AmazonRed

May 5, 2008 12:51 PM | Link to this

Dino - HUH? I didn’t even know he posted a pic of himself next to a car until today. So how is that hating? Just because I’m not into it? Because I went LOL at the notion?

Lawd, lighten up folks.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 5, 2008 12:55 PM | Link to this

Dino

I think my point is being proven without my having to say a word. Women want a man who’s “successful”, but then, when there’s some evidence of that success, they want to label you as arrogant.

Dude can’t win for losin’. smh

By SexyLeggs

May 5, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this

Santoria Lynn popped in here busting chops (LOL).

ARed, not necessarily that you’re not into cars…probably because this is definitely a “guy” thing.

Ok, I think I can get off-topic now.

I met a guy at the party I went to 2 weeks ago and we exchange numbers. I’ve been speaking w/him just about every other day. He’s a trucker. He seems to be interested in me. Well, he done went and F…..things up!

He called me Saturday afternoon to tell me his grandfather had passed and that he was very close to him. He was hurting! We spoke for a little while longer. Well, don’tcha know this knucklehead (yes, now he’s a knucklehead) called me at 2:46 AM Sunday morning because he wanted wanted to hug me before he left and just needed someone to talk to. Said he didn’t want to come in he could talk to me from my driveway. WTF is going on. I gave him some choice words. He doesn’t even know me well enough to be calling me at that time of morning. Yes, he was a little tipsy, but he knew what he was doing. **Fellows, why do some set themselves up for failure like that? What a bonehead move!

By Raqi

May 5, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

Darrell I am not talking about what a woman sees interpret or benefits from being with that man. I am solely talking about a man’s confidence level based on his level of success.

Does his successful achievements give him that confidence? Or is it only when and if that success carries high financial status that gives him confidence?

Is it that same co-cki-ness that we women also possess that merely grants us bragging rights confidence? Or is it that I have material possessions to offer confidence?

Or do men even consider it as success if riches are not attached?

What is this success confidence that you speak of?

By Angie

May 5, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

bigd i see you have admirers. lol. it amazes me how we hate on each other. we should be lifting our fellow blogger up and supporting what we have accomplished. all the name calling, etc. is disgusting and uncalled for. we’re suppose to be grown folks, RIGHT!!!

By SexyLeggs

May 5, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

BTW, that was my weekend non-dating event!

Darrell, you are funny. I remember the before and after pics.

By Dino

May 5, 2008 1:00 PM | Link to this

Amazon Red you started this ish so you lighten up dear. I’m done with it you Women on here don’t know who or what the hell you want and you seem to be the “most confused woman on here Amazon Red Light so oops you are the “weakest link” GOOD BYE!

By AmazonRed

May 5, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

Pimpin Darrell - Do you really think posting a pic of you standing next to a nice car, a depreciating asset at that, lets anyone know you are actually successful?

Not to say that you are not, but there are plenty of folks out there with nice cars living in their mothers basement.

But I forget sometimes we live in a society of materalism. sigh

By mytwocents

May 5, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

Hope we’re all having a beautiful day…

We really over-complicate things sometimes. I’m with you, Brite Eyez. If @ the end of the nite you’ve had fun and got to converse with at least one great smelling gentleman, its another reason to smile. FlyGuy that energy does speak volumes. Even when you can’t quite read a person it’s in the air. Darrell My guess is that these days more ladies are concerned that a man can provide for HIMself beyond all else.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 5, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

Gina is right. I now see the error of my ways. The next time I’m down near Greenbriar Mall, I’m gonna take a picture of me standing next to a MARTA bus stop. After all, I used to ride the bus. That should count for something, right?

Sheesh!

By AmazonRed

May 5, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

Dino - I think gotten me confused with Gina. Please see her 12:12. My post was in response to hers.

So I guess you’re the “oops.” Thanks for playing. :-)

By Cemeeli

May 5, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

Darrell you’re not trying to win so how would you lose? Your sister posted accurately @ 12:49.

mytwocents now you wanna re-post? j/k…how was your w/e? Rosy!

By Hunh?

May 5, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

Sexy how does he know where you live?

By QC

May 5, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

Amen Angie it’s too funny to me…i’m very proud of my brother and his success!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

May 5, 2008 1:11 PM | Link to this

Raqi “Does his successful achievements give him that confidence? Or is it only when and if that success carries high financial status that gives him confidence?”

Men are generally wired to drive for success. “Success” being defined as setting a goal and achieving it. Period. It is the confidence gained through achieving a targeted goal that gives a man confidence, regardless if there is a financial benefit attached to it.

By Lurker

May 5, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

@Darrell 12:42 Okay.

Misadventures in Atlanta

Who is Bella?

Who is Wise Diva?

What's on this page →

Have a discussion idea?

Check It Out!

Categories

Commenting is open from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. M-F

Recent entries

RSS feed

Comment Removal Request

Access Atlanta Blogs

News & Features

Opinion

Health

Sports

AJCJobs Blog

Ajcpets Blogs

Evening Edge Blog

Approach Anxiety!

Comments