Misadventures in Atlanta

By Rell

April 8, 2008 8:17 AM | Link to this

@diva, again great topic

ummmm i would have to say you are right..how does he know she wants a second date…and why is he asking…if she not offering then you need to move on…because the chick is not on you like that…..she will invest when she is ready…that is why i say it is a simps move to come out of pocket so early…he should have qualified her a little more to see her approach on dating…i blame him for this…it is good he trying to get her to bring more to the table but he is going about it wrong….

all he had to do is say i am looking forward to your invitation to our next outing!….that is all…not you take me out next time…that is weak…and before all this he should have discuss with the women how he dates..so when she gets the above text - i am looking forward to your invitation to our next outing…she will know how to proceed….

By SexyCool

April 8, 2008 8:26 AM | Link to this

novel idea…i’d be interested to know how it’s REALLY working out for him…

any dude that took that line with me would have promptly been invited to lose my number…

if a dude feels that way and wants to employ that tactic…he certainly has that right…however, for him to broadcast his intent so cavalierly is insulting…

and any one so uncouth as to act in that manner…would not have been the one for me…

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 8:27 AM | Link to this

the poor guy has been used and abused and pyssed that he can’t claim dating on his income tax. i can see this approach turning her off, but i think she should ride with it for a minute. in other words, this is red flag number one. if it were me, y’all know i would have no problem taking my new bootie on a date, but her way of looking at this isn’t a shocker. he needs to be more sensitive with this new game he’s playing (weeding out). he may chase away the one.

the numbers are down on this blog. i wonder why?!?

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 8:33 AM | Link to this

rell i missed ya call. :( good morning!

By QC

April 8, 2008 8:35 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers have a great day all!

By Rell

April 8, 2008 8:37 AM | Link to this

@angie…its ok lady….i was in a chatty mood last night….lol…and ya know i can talk when i am in the moood

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 8:37 AM | Link to this

Morning, all. :-)

Diva “The only problem I had with this Quid Pro Quo boy is the fact that he assumed she wanted a second date with him.”

Not necessarily. What he said to “Anna” was that he would “love to go out again” which, as I understand that statement, still leaves the ball in her court to either agree or not agree to take him up on that. And even with the “quid pro quo” aspect factored in, she’s still in a position to say either ‘yes’ or ‘no’ based on the “condidtions” he set forth. So, I don’t see this as him making an assumption at all. He was simply expressing his desire to see her again. In other words, it was as if he was saying, “And IF you would like to see me again, you can take me out this time.” I completely understand his logic and don’t think your friend should have been so easily offended by his approach.

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this

Good Morning!

On topic;

Huh?…i’m still stuck on he called her to say: For their next date she should pay AND said it by way of a text message!!!…as if…

I don’t know about anyone else but if someone came at me like that i’d be reluctant to the person because he has sort of, kind of, scaled me according to the “masses”. There are alot of women and men that are “juicing” and it makes the dating world hard. So i think we all have to have limit and be aware of shady people.

As far as Quid Pro Quo is concerned, I don’t mind paying,…but allow me to offer. Don’t shove the check down my throat before we even schedule the date. wow!

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 8:47 AM | Link to this

rell me too, cause ya gurl was off the chain yesterday! i felt a lunch invite comin’ on. lmao.

By Kym

April 8, 2008 8:48 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Well while it is out of the “norm” I dont really see a problem with the method to his madness. Actually my belief is that all first dates should be dutch. That means you start on neutral ground. You order what you can afford. An the focus is off of the money and more on the conversation. Actually I suggest it and if the guy says no I am taking you out then I lay down the tip offer to buy dessert etc. If this is the first chat and chew then treat it as such. It’s dating keep it light.

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 8:51 AM | Link to this

What he said to “Anna” was that he would “love to go out again”.

But Darrell how can he mean that and however state it will be on her dollar. If he has a genuine interest in her as you are saying why the condition?

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 8:51 AM | Link to this

Darrell Yes, I think he assumed. Throwing the “if” in there does not save the fact that he was already passing the check over to her.

The fact that he texted her for her to pay NEXT time…see there is your claimer.

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 8:53 AM | Link to this

good morning good ppl

im wit darrell on this one…. why be offended?? we discussed yesterday that we all have our own individual angles to this dating thing…. some with-hold sex, personal information, … the truth. in this case he is with-holding the money.

looked at in the real context, this is just a gimmick… a defense mechanism that better helps him deal with whateva hurt he’s experienced in the past.

it really wasnt about the money he lost in the past….. trust.

i dont think she should make his issue her issue…. just let it go. pick a place and pay. if she’s honest she will admit she got her own issahs….. ones he is proly gonna have to roll wit too.

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 8:56 AM | Link to this

Good morning!

That’s one way of looking at it, Derrell.

Angie aka B, if you mean the number of comments are down, it may be due to Spring Break, well, that seemed to be the case last year, that is.

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 8:58 AM | Link to this

How do you fix your mouth to tell someone after only one date I like you so much imma let you take me out? That’s pretty what he said.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 9:00 AM | Link to this

Raqi If he has a genuine interest in her as you are saying why the condition?”

You have to remember - the issue here isn’t whether or not he has a genuine interest in her, it’s to determine the depths of her interest in him. The appropriateness of his approach notwithstanding, we musn’t lose sight of that as we discuss the merits (or lack thereof) of the conditions he “suggested” for any next date - and it was just a suggestion. It wasn’t as if he said, “We can go out again, but only if you pay.” Totally different context.

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this

There is nothing wrong with a I pay you pay system. But there is a better way to say it. When you call someone up for a date the caller pays usually. Putting yourself off on someone is a bad look.

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 9:02 AM | Link to this

no wise, i was commenting on what jazzy said yesterday. this disrespect on here is out of control. if you read the last part of yesterday, you would know what i mean. it disturbs me how this is allowed.

By QC

April 8, 2008 9:02 AM | Link to this

Hello Cee-me-me,DasV

By Kym

April 8, 2008 9:04 AM | Link to this

Raqi Women use that phase all the time. Right now as I type this some woman is saying. “I had a really great time with you Mr. XYZ, I would love to see you again and will then suggest they meet again this weekend. She will not offer to spring for the check and will expect him to come with the moolah to wine and dine her because well she like him so much that he should pay for her time. So why the double standard?

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

my thoughts are clearer during vacation…no email or calls to answer while bloggin’…ha

Das i don’t think she making his issue her issue. I think HE made his issue her issue. Why does she have to deal with how the last Anna did him? Seems as if she does not have a problem paying…the problem is his approach.

By analytical1

April 8, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

Good Morning!

Ya know … I don’t think that this dude is engaging in a weed-out process. I think he’s … lazy and severly short on dating swag.

First, the fact that he said all that he wanted to say in a text is just bad.

Second, the fact that he felt the need to let her know that she would need to pay shows that he’s not much of a gentleman.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely on the traditional side, but I do believe that there’s nothing wrong with a woman paying for a date. Since most folks out here aren’t rich, I think it’s only fair. But … like Cemeeli said, give a lady the opportunity to make the gesture on her own. It’s not hard to weed out the chicks who are only after dinner and apple martinis. All it takes is a little observation and attention to a person’s conversation. It’s not hard at all. Yet men seem to be so surprised when they find out that XYZ chick was only out for dinners n things, even though there were plenty of signs.

If it were me, I would be very unimpressed by this approach. It’s really tacky.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli

I don’t think he assumed. I would not have tried that approach, personally, but at the same time, I’m willing to give the guy the benefit of the doubt based on his logic of “weeding out” (rightly or wrongly.) At a minimum, I would have to have seen Anna take a deep breath and ask “Quid” what he meant by that and even if his explaination was unsatisfactory to her, at least she would have a better understanding of why he said what he did. That’s still better than jumping to conclusions.

By DreamsMaterialize

April 8, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

Morning Ya’ll I wouldn’t have gone about it exactly as he did, but I don’t take issue with his perspective. If she decides to not go out with him again, even after SHE admitted there was MAJOR chemistry, then ol’ boy’s weed-out process worked and they can both move on. On the flip side, I do feel like you shouldn’t have to demand that a woman reciprocate your generosity. A woman who’s really feeling you will do it without you ever saying a word.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 9:13 AM | Link to this

Kym ^5 on your 9:04!

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 9:13 AM | Link to this

Raqi i am not seeing it like how you seeing it. he isnt ‘putting himself off on’ her. he is attempting to gauge her interest in him.

i understand that. i can say he’s not going about it the best way, but its his way, CEEcee…. and if up to this point i was diggin someone, this wouldnt necessarily make me cringe. if it was coupled with some other out-of-left-field behaviour, then yea… it might. he didnt put it in the very best way, but he did put it out there…. he was honest and forthcoming, aint that what we want?? now we judging delivery too??!

basically he is trynna not waste his time…. he is wanting to know if hanging out with him is worth her paying. and thats exactly what i would say: buddy, you know what? i had a great time the other night. you have a great sense of humor and an awesome take on life. i would LOVE to take you out. and cause everyone loves a surprise, just be ready at 7. ——> except i dont like like surprises… dont ever throw no surprise party for me… and i dont do balloons, cause the pop for no reason at unexpected times (now he could easily take issah wit that…. cause i mean really, what normal person doesnt like balloons??)

im wit kym …. lets keep it light ppl

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this

analytical1 you are on it! I have put this dude the “forget that” list. He needs to work on that approach.

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

@ Angie oh, wow, really? I read yesterday, but it didn’t seem to be any more disrespect than normal to me. So, do you think that is discouraging people from joining in?

By abc

April 8, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

I have always presumed that the man always pays. I actually don’t like a woman to pay for me.

I think it speaks to all women’s intrinsic needs for security. Even slight and subtle displays that represent security are appealing to women. If a chick is just after a free meal, it’s pretty easy to tell — one free meal is no big deal, it’s unlikely that there would be more than that, though.

On the other hand, nothing wrong with Quid Pro Quo. There is no such thing as something for nothing. I don’t necessarily see how it would apply to who pays for a date, but hey… some guys are cheap.

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 9:16 AM | Link to this

dreams A woman who’s really feeling you will do it without you ever saying a word.

exactly. how long it takes her to pay should have been his weeding out system.

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this

Kym I have always lived by the rules of the one who invites or initiates should at least have the intentions of paying. I have asked guys out in the past and was prepared to pay. Some let me some didn’t. To come right off the bat with I like you a lot and want to go out again, but unless you pay I don’t like you that much.

The only time I have ever used Imma let you take me out is now with Johnny Storm. We are common. Familiar. And even with that he may jokingly answer how do you know I want to take you out?

The guy could have just a well called for casual conversation and waited to see if she was interested in another date. At the time he could approached it the way he did. But to make the call (or text) and state that is in my book tacky.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 9:19 AM | Link to this

Raqi “There is nothing wrong with a I pay you pay system. But there is a better way to say it.”

I don’t disagree with you. However, I see two sides to this:

1. Yes, Quid could have been more tactful in his approach. However, 2. did “Anna” take offense because this would have only been date #2 for them, or, was it because SHE had assumed he should pay for the second date simply because he’s the man and she’s of a mindset that the man should always pay?

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

ABC your post read like you dont want a woman paying monetarily for you, but you have no problem with her paying in other ways….. please tell me i read you wrong smh

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

Morning Everyone

Queenly wave to all the Blog ladies, and a church hug to the MLB

Wise, I like this topic.

I don’t think anything is wrong with asking your date to go dutch . The problem with this scenario is Mr. Quid Pro Quo’s delivery was awkward, and inelegant. I personally think he came out of the batting cage armed with a helmet, chest protector, and bat (what’s up with that). How can you send a new acquaintance a text message asking for a second date, and at the same time ordain how the date will be paid. Talk about making an impression- at least she knows homeboy is a straight shooter.

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

Darrell you are Mr. Anna. Soy wanna be

DasV here take this “Just Because” ballon bouquet i bought for you….it’s from my heart. Hold it real high to the halogen ceiling lights, k.

Hi QC and Dreams!

By M.

April 8, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

@Rell

that is why i say it is a simps move to come out of pocket so early

Did you mean that he came out of pocket early and he should have never paid for the first date or that he should not have came at her like this so early after the first date?

I think the guy needs to screen his girls a little bit better and the number one place to screen them is at a club or lounge. This is where most liquor pimps (i.e. girls that juice guys for drinks etc. hang). You can just watch their demenanor and it will all come out. He shouldn’t have embarrassed himself but the truth would have came out soon. What if she turned out to not be the one, and everything he thought she was, should he have just kicked her to the curb?

@Cemeeli

Are you from the midwest? We say juicin also lol.

By Mo (also known as Moeisha)

April 8, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this

Well good morning everyone!

Someone has already said but I will say it again: nothing wrong with what he’s saying, just his delivery. Everyone has their own way to handle how they date, you do what works for you. Who am I to say what you should do?

Hey DreamsMaterialize, long time no read! How have you been? You Spring Breakin??

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

wise yes i do. this blog is fun, very informative and at the same time it makes the hours roll by faster. jazzy’s comment wasn’t the first. there has been many. ppl have complained that it’s not like it used to be. i’m fairly new, but i know when the line has been crossed. it’s messed up when the flow is good, then a person comes in with childish attacks. and what’s funny is that we are in our 30’s, etc. smh. i’m done venting and sorry to have disturbed you.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli “Darrell you are Mr. Anna. Soy wanna be..”

ROFL!!!

By The Truth

April 8, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

Although there are other ways to get the job done, he used the direct approach. First, taking a chick out that you’re interested in actually saves you money. The money you spend is pennies compared to the information you gather. To think you can spend $30-50 dollars and gather enough intel to either rule out more spending or make further plans is a great idea. And you don’t have to take her out if you can cook. Who wishes they could of spent 30 bucks to gather info on a school, job,mate or other important decisions that needed to be made? Could save you alot of pain and misery down the road.

I think younger guys worry about getting taken more. At some point your meal theft detector is primed and ready.

On asking for a second date, why not? “Act as if”. As if she had a great time and would like to spend more. It’s a follow up to telling a woman how good she looks when you pick her up and how much fun you plan on having with her. Plant the seeds and reap your harvest. Saying it is 75% of the battle.

All women enjoy a good mental rub down.

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

@Angie-B

Girl, I personally have enjoyed reading your posts. Don’t worry about some of the childish comments you hear. The blog experience serves its purpose. Some days you let the comments roll off your shoulders and move on. We’re glad to have you here.

Hey Cee, Mo, Real, Darrell, abc, and Rell

Demi, Truth, and Slim it’s time to wake up

By Kym

April 8, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

Raqi I understand that method and agree but there are still alot of women who expect the man to pay even if they ask him out. While I don’t agree with his delivery. I really can’t knock his approach. This is dating if she is that offended then she can always say “While I enjoyed out date I am not sure if I like how u approached the idea of a 2nd date..etc. and wish him well. She doesn’t have anything emotional invested in him to warrant any extra brain strain.”

I am learning that “Life isn’t as serious as my mind makes it out to be.”

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

ROTFLOL@ CEEcee yea, aight! but im just sayin….. LOL

heeeeyyyyyy,!! QC courts aint closed this week, but school is! :)

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 8, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

Morning folks…

I just peeped in and laughed, when I saw what the topic was…

I agree with ole boys approach, I do similar things all the time and as a matter of fact, I recently started going out with this woman about two week’s ago. After a few dates on my tab,she called me this weekend and asked me what was going on.

I said I was laying low and that I had accidentally left my ATM card in the machine and someone behind me took it and used it. I told her that I had no money, until the bank reimbursed me later in the week,to see what her response would be.

She quickly said “I have a couple hundred dollars you can use,until you get strait” based on that, I moved her up a tier and took her out to Houston’s yesterday and informed her that the whole story was a lie and I was testing her to see if she would step up to the plate.

She was surprised, but understood that many men get taken or used and see no return on their investment.

Dating is expensive for men and most men want to know that the woman is worth the investment, before they keep spending on her or that she is also willing to treat that man on the flip side.

I cannot count how many women I have gone out with and spent $75 - $150.00 per date and things did not work out for whatever reason, mostly due to games on her end or that “it’s all about me attitude”

In closing, it is never too soon to test the waters and see if someone is a fit for your your situation.

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

m if his concern was money, he could have planned for a date where he spent no money or very little. since the chemistry was good, she would of never noticed.

By abc

April 8, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

DasVenus, you read me wrong.

If a man is too broke or cheap to pay for the date, then he has no business dating. If a $100 restaurant tab is a burden, he should have gone to Sizzler — that’s obviously more his speed. I don’t say this to denigrate those with less means, I say this to point out that to act otherwise is to be a poseur.

To pay for the date means that the man values the woman’s company. That’s all, that’s it, real simple. To equate that with expectation of sexual favors or something like that is a ridiculous attitude, but I’ve had plenty of women tell me that they can hardly believe I’d take them someplace nice and spend so much on them without any expectations. I just show them a good time. I’m not taking them out with an ulterior motive or hidden agenda. If it comes to pass that something more happens, it won’t be on account of who paid for what, it’ll be because something real is happening.

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

Thank you, Angie aka B, I see your point now. I suppose it does take a rather thick skin to be on this forum sometimes. I love to verbally spar with people, so usually, I just snap back and keep it moving, but I can see how the personal attacks classify as unnecessary roughness. To keep things in perspective, I try to remember that mental hospitals and prison wards have internet access, LOL. So the person that says something crazy to you, could quite possibly be crazy, in which case you have to consider the source. :)

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

Dreams A woman who’s really feeling you will do it without you ever saying a word.”

This isn’t necessariily to agree or disagree with what you said. However, I will only add that it depends on the woman, because it could very well be that her “feelin’” you will manifest itself in ways other than her offering to pay the dinner check. So, even if she never offers to pay, there should still be other evidence that she indeed does appreciate the fact that you do pay.

So, I wouldn’t necessarily zero in on her offering to pay the bill as the definitive measure of whether or not she’s feelin’ you, because she just might be wired to express her gratitude differently. And what’s important is that she expresses it, not how. Make sense?

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

In closing, it is never too soon to test the waters and see if someone is a fit for your your situation. …. even a made-up situation, eh, LongTime?? wow

now to me thats crazy. i would prefer you respect the big-girl panties i choose to wear errry-day and tell me the truth… or put me on the spot and ask a blunt question … i just cannot condone lying… even seemingly justified lying, ie ‘a lie with a purpose’. sheesh

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. I understand what the guy did; however, his approach was tacky. I don’t mind paying for a date, but let me offer.

WD, to answer your question from 9:15 my answer is YES. True there are days where the disrespect is more palpable than others, but it is off the chain in here sometimes. The fact that people cleverly spell cuss words doesn’t take away from the scorn. I find it amazing that ppl. cuss strangers out in cyberspace.

You guys asked me to tell you early when I did this again…anybody want to meet me at Strokers today?

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

M’ i’m from the ATL. We’d say juicing or jucin’ it, in college when a girl or guy was getting hit in the wallet while dating someone.

@ IslandG hey.

By M.

April 8, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

@Angie aka B

That is a valid point. He could have used this time to see what she is about and to see if is even worth a second date. It’s not to say that something is wrong with taking a date somewhere nice on the first date, but you have to know your limits and do everything in moderation. I wouldn’t recommend going to the Atlanta fish market for a first date, but they do have good chops.

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 8, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

@abc In your 9:43, it’s not that $100 is a burden or the cat can’t afford it, it is that $100 x inth power and no return on the investment( ROI ).

A lot of cats look at what they spend on dates as if this chick is down with with me for the long haul, then kewl, I will keep investing, but if I am date Tuesday and a seven day rotation with six other dudes, I am jumping off the “merry go round”

Money is not normally the issue, the one you spending on usually is the issue and is she worth it!

By M.

April 8, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

@Angie aka B

That is a valid point. He could have used this time to see what she is about and to see if is even worth a second date. It’s not to say that something is wrong with taking a date somewhere nice on the first date, but you have to know your limits and do everything in moderation. I wouldn’t recommend going to the Atlanta fish market for a first date, but they do have good chops.

By abc

April 8, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

And, I’ll say this: men that are cautious of spending money on a woman and who neglect to show her a good and unencumbered time make it easy for guys like me to have great dates. It’s as if the women have never been treated well. It has a side effect sometimes of their being quite disappointed when I don’t ask them out again — to have fun, take them someplace nice, give them presents and then not ask them out again, what’s up with that? I understand their feelings, but it’s just the way I go about it. Anyone I take on a date will be treated like royalty. If I didn’t care to treat them like that, I wouldn’t be taking them out in the first place.

On the other hand, if it seems important to a woman to pay, I don’t try to stop her. If it’s important to her for whatever reason then certainly that’s fine with me. It doesn’t really mean anything to me, though. She could just as well let me pay, because that doesn’t really mean much to me either, as far as the money itself goes.

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this

Morning all

Rell I like your approach on that man!

Angie the poor guy has been used and abused and pyssed that he can’t claim dating on his income tax girl that is too funny! LOL

Cemeeli As far as Quid Pro Quo is concerned, I don’t mind paying,…but allow me to offer. Don’t shove the check down my throat before we even schedule the date Girl I agree 100%. I do offer to pay sometimes but “telling” me to pay is like;y to get you cursed out….1 for trying to tell me what to do like I’m some child and 2 for not having any class. That is why I said I liked Rell’s approach. But when I date anyway I expect to go dutch andif he pays, its brownie points. But I am not one of the broke chicks who go out on date and order something that I do not have the money in my pocket to pay for. If dude decides he is not paying for you….yu are screwed. Also meet him there in your own car…that way if things go funny you can drive yourself home and not be stranded! Like a Girl Scout…ladies always be prepared!

Truth And you don’t have to take her out if you can cook I don;t care how good he can cook…I do not go to a dudes crib until after we go out a few times in public places and talk on the ophone until I start to feel comfortable. Being alone in his crib or having hin in yours tends to get guys thinking stuff and getting touchy feely…and is likely to get he cut! LOL Oh I rolls everywhere with a blade. Be careful if my hair is in a bun! (lol)

Longtime Lurker that must be a common test. I had a guy tell me he lost his atm card so I offered him gas money and asked if he had food at home. Then he told me it was a test. I was so p** that he tested me I cut him off! I understand why he did it..but I have graduated school and do not plan to go back..so I do not take kindly to tests! LOL

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

I meant for lunch but I’m not paying for your lunch (LOL).

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

Truth “She was surprised, but understood that many men get taken or used and see no return on their investment.”

That kind of ties back to the issue I have with Anna in that she didn’t even attempt to consider or inquire as to why Quid said what he said. I’ve already said that his approach was less than tactful, but on the same token, she shouldn’t have assumed to know what his motives were for saying what he did. If you’ve only been on one date, that’s the perfect time to inquire about something like that and clear the air, if necessary, before going out on a second date. It may turn out that it was simply a misunderstanding on one’s part, as opposed to someone thinking it was a gross attempt to disrespect.

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

I’m going to need all these dudes with their golddigger tests to admit that this is “BAGGAGE”.. are you serious? HOw about raising your selecting standards for dates beyond her ass-to-waist ratio? LOL…geez

By Rell

April 8, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

@ M

this is my point right here on the anti-simpin…i know you ladies hate the word….but..

I cannot count how many women I have gone out with and spent $75 - $150.00 per date and things did not work out for whatever reason, mostly due to games on her end or that “it’s all about me attitude”

@ M…this is the view point that most true to the game women take to dating

*m if his concern was money, he could have planned for a date where he spent no money or very little. since the chemistry was good, she would of never noticed. *

and from our topic yesterday..this is the type of women that a player will go for..someone that is down with chemistry and having a good time regardless of the sitting…you dont have to spend big or weed out with some lame azz story….come on fam….i mean the qualifying process has to be better….

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. Great game last night and I got a tan. LOL

Most of the posters said what I already think. Dude is lazy, his delivery is ALL wrong. Doesn’t matter if I liked him beforehand, we’d only had one date so there is probably only so much I could really be into dude after one date.

The “texting for dates” thing is already a pet peeve of mine and now he’s gonna tell me he’s looking forward to my taking HIM out? LOL. Sad thing is, I might actually pay for a 2nd (most likely 3rd though) date. But his method would have totally turned me off.

Even sadder, he probably does this more often or not and women probably jump to take him up on it. :-/

By QC

April 8, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

Da courts down here are wide open…the kids out of school, traffic is great…and tomorrow is my friday

D - info was sent to A

By Blow Me a.k.a ROOKIE Cookie

April 8, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All

Womp Womp Womp….and YADA yada Yada!! ..This blog is hiliarious!!! I guess I will take it a bit more serious…Since some ppl can’t handle it. I guess it’s not entertainment to everyone. And everyone can’t have overly thick skin like Stink Pot Truth. But I guess I disgress.

But I will stay on point. I think it’s a bit much only after the second date ole boy is asking her to pay. He is jumping the gun a bit and obviously it bothers her if she is pondering on fact that he has done this. I mean to me it does display his selfishness. He does not want to put any additional effort in no more than the next person. Which is fine…but the way he is going about doing it and his actions are a bit low budget.

If he thought she needed weeding out, couldn’t he just give it a little time and observe her for awhile?

Exactly WD if he would simply observe I think it would let him know how she feels. Action speaks louder then words. Throughout all of my relationships..there were always signs be it good or bad. I just failed not to realize them. Actions and consistence speaks volumes. If it’s not the fact he doesn’t want to be taking of advance of, then he could very well be a CHEAP skate too. Let’s not rule this out. This could be the begining for foul things to come. That’s what it sounds like to me.

By QC

April 8, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

Hey Staceye

By M.

April 8, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

@Cemeeli

Oh ok. We also say Juice man, like if somebody’s a gambler and they deal with shark loans to have gambling money, we would say, they getting hit up by the juice man.

Im from Chicago

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

m i would like to ask you something? who are these chicks you guys are taking out? if she gets upset that you planned a fun date which includes bowling, homecooked meal, blockbuster movie, then you should reconsider seeing her again. i’m just saying if i were a guy.

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

@abc ^5 on that post- To pay for the date means that the man values the woman’s company. That’s all, that’s it, real simple. To equate that with expectation of sexual favors or something like that is a ridiculous attitude

In church we’re taught to allow the man to be “head of household, the head not the tail”. What some guys are saying is so contradicting! In previous arguments on this blog, men have said that women don’t know how to appreciate a man taking care of them. Please make up your minds fellas. Dating is expensive, but why ask a woman out if you know you can’t afford too?

By pisces 08

April 8, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

Good morning All….

@Sexy. Really?

By abc

April 8, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

LL, if I’m to be part of a rotation then I won’t be there. I don’t play that. Stuff like that is for youngsters and recreational daters, and my dating has always had a bit more purpose than that. I’m more of a relationship kind of guy, but then, I’ll take a woman who’s just a good friend to the fanciest place in town and have a nice present for her. It’s just a night out, after all.

I can’t really think of money spent on dating as an ‘investment’ either. That’s just wrong-minded, to me. It cheapens what the experience is about. I never would expect ROI, that’s way wrong-minded.

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 8, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

Folks…

What is interesting about this is, that if the roles changed and women were expected to pay for dates each time they met someone new, you would see an entirely different response to this whole scenario from the women.

Take for instance Jay-Z and Mary tonight, let’s do the math…

The majority of the dudes have already spent at least $150-300 for tickets,before the date has even started. Throw in a meal for two = $70-$100 bucks, drinks at the concert $12 bucks a pop and parking at $ 30-$40 bucks,that almost $300.00 on the low end! High end over $500.00.

By M.

April 8, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

@Cemeeli

Oh ok. We also say Juice man, like if somebody’s a gambler and they deal with shark loans to have gambling money, we would say, they getting hit up by the juice man.

Im from Chicago

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

ABC glad to know that, sir. and i see something real happening for you… cause your position is arguably the most adult stance seen here on the blog in a good while. kudos

By Rell

April 8, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

@ared..we agree on something…i hate text messaging when it comes to something serious or matters of the heart…just lame….and i can understand now the frustration of some women…dude would have gotten cussed out…i mean where are the men still p** standing up…..testing women…..da hell….you suppose to do that without her knowing…dont be all green and say SIKE i was just playing…got of playground sh it is that

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

WiseDiva “How about raising your selecting standards for dates beyond her a*-to-waist ratio?”

Funny you should ask that, because over the past several days I’ve had occasion to argue that very point on this blog only to have people respond in utter disbelief that a man could actually - and genuinely - have a “selection criteria” which sees a woman’s physical attributes (i.e. “a*-to-waist” ratio) as secondary to other qualities. On a date, the criteria I’m going to apply is more along the lines of mental stimulation and whether we “connected” during the conversations we shared. In other words, it’s more about the “brain-to-mouth” ratio with me.

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this

Lurker - What you and many guys (MLB) fail to realize is that a GENUINE woman is not going to REQUIRE big money be spent on dates. It’s just many guys have NO imagination so they think dating always consists of dinner, movie/concert and drinks.

The last guy I dated seriously I dated for over a year. I can count on ONE HAND the number of times he took me out to dinner. I knew he was a new homeowner in an adjustable rate mortgage, so for our dates we always did inexpensive things. Instead of going out, we’d stay in and he’d cook. We’d watch movies at home, we’d go for a run around the city.

I enjoyed spending TIME with him and it didn’t require a lot of money. We spend a lot of time knowing each other FIRST (phone calls, convos) so that he could sufficently understand I wasn’t even the TYPE of girl to try and suck his wallets dry.

Fellas - if you really want to WEED these women out, try having 5 or 6 genuine CONVERSATIONS with these women before you even take her out. Those looking for a meal ticket will quickly lose interest.

By M.

April 8, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

@Rell

So you are saying he needs to change up his whole approach to dating? the types of women he deals with and what he is looking for?

@Angie aka B

That’s a good point. I think its all about where you at and the circumstances now. For example, some women may be cool with what you listed. But there are some very superficial, bouji types that a this would not be good for. Also, as Wise said, some people are crazy. Do you really want them in your house ladies and guys do you really want her cooking for you? I didnt think so this early in the game. My friends car got shot at over the weekend and she thinks it was a stalker guy. So I guess it all goes back to the type of person that you date.

By Blow Me a.k.a ROOKIE Cookie

April 8, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

Wow STINK pot Truth This has alot of truth in it…So true. Damn you do have the game down…I wanted to highlight a few pts.

First, taking a chick out that you’re interested in actually saves you money. The money you spend is pennies compared to the information you gather. To think you can spend $30-50 dollars and gather enough intel to either rule out more spending or make further plans is a great idea.

**Exactly IF you know what you are doing…you can ask critical questions to let you know whether or not if you want to be bothered. Cut down on the sexual question..and get to the chase. Women LOVE to talk. Use this to your advantage. Ask questions and listen ranks how on any woman’s list. And in turn…you will get the answers to the things that really matters most to you. Don’t waste it talking about whether or not if she is bisexual. Ask some real questions.

*On asking for a second date, why not? “Act as if”. As if she had a great time and would like to spend more. It’s a follow up to telling a woman how good she looks when you pick her up and how much fun you plan on having with her. Plant the seeds and reap your harvest. Saying it is 75% of the battle.

All women enjoy a good mental rub down*

Exactly..what you really want to know about someone is fairly easy. 9 times of 10 the signs are there. If they actions is saying the opposite from what they say. You already know what you are dealing with. Watch the walk and not the talk.

WD Exactly….Don’t ask for a orange and complain that it doesn’t taste like a banana.

By M.

April 8, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

@Rell

So you are saying he needs to change up his whole approach to dating? the types of women he deals with and what he is looking for?

@Angie aka B

That’s a good point. I think its all about where you at and the circumstances now. For example, some women may be cool with what you listed. But there are some very superficial, bouji types that this would not be good for. Also, as Wise said, some people are crazy. Do you really want them in your house ladies and guys do you really want her cooking for you? I didnt think so this early in the game. My friends car got shot at over the weekend and she thinks it was a stalker guy. So I guess it all goes back to the type of person that you date.

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

Longtime Lurker whose fault is that? also, for someone to spend a lot of money like that should be in a committed relationship with the person. my .02.

By M.

April 8, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

@Rell

So you are saying he needs to change up his whole approach to dating? the types of women he deals with and what he is looking for?

@Angie aka B

That’s a good point. I think its all about where you at and the circumstances now. For example, some women may be cool with what you listed. But there are some very superficial, bouji types that this would not be good for. Also, as Wise said, some people are crazy. Do you really want them in your house ladies and guys do you really want her cooking for you? I didnt think so this early in the game. My friends car got shot at over the weekend and she thinks it was a stalker guy. So I guess it all goes back to the type of person that you date.

By DreamsMaterialize

April 8, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

Mo Wassup girl. Naw, no Spring Breakin’ over here, more like Spring Workin’. What is Spring Workin’ you say? It’s pretty much like Winter Workin’, Summer Workin’, and Fall Workin’. lol It’s cotton-pickin’ season all year round here.

abc why can’t a broke man date? There are places with no electricity or running water, and the people there still have courting process. When you’re dating, you’re looking to find mutual interest and attraction, and that doesn’t require any down payment. Now, if you’re dating for other reasons, well then show proof of income and write a check for 20%.

Darrell Yep I agree.

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

Yes, why not?

abc, you are cool!

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

Wise i agree don’t bring the I was taken or “juiced” baggage.

Why do i have to deal with how the last Nertesha, Coverseior, Hennessy, and Litarsha treated you?!

I understand the “weed out” but please just take the time and gauge me…

like Stac said

I am not one of the broke chicks who go out on date and order something that I do not have the money in my pocket to pay for.

Actually i could get the tab on the first date if you shaking. Don’t think i’m looking at this meal as a free eat on ticket.

Maybe it does have some bearing on being a Girl Scout lol

Please “shut the door” with the tests!

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Darrell I would have assumed since he was calling he would pay.

Are men really to the point now where they are worried about getting got so soon into getting to know the person? Has dating gotten to where men are clinching their pockets before they even see what the woman is about? Have we come to this?

abc it is obvious that you are an older gentleman. It’s like the 20 year olds have heard tale of fables and act accordingly compared to the more mature (older) gentlemen knowing the actual dating game.

Yes there women and men alike that are out there to get over on people. But I think it is unfair to first assume that all are. Most mature men don’t take well to women assuming they are only out for the goods, so why are women assumed to only be out to get a free ride before you get to know her? IMO to take the approach that he did makes that assumption.

By Bit-O-Honey

April 8, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

It sounds to me like the guy is looking to break even. He may be interested in your friend, but if the second date goes flatline then at least he will have not lost anything? I know, its weird but this guy has obviously been milked before and is not looking to put himself out there any more than he has to. He is totally going about the “weeding out process” all wrong. Your friend could be a really nice girl that he may miss out on because he has left her with a somewhat sour taste in her mouth before she even got a chance to taste him!! Such a waste.

I digress, if it were me I’d have to ask him about his comment and assumptions. It will probably reveal a lot about his dating past, maybe more than anyone wants to know on a second date. He was bold enough to say he wanted her to have financial responsibility for their next date, assuming there would be one, and I would definitely be bold enough to ask him about his fiscal spending, or lack of.

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

welcome back LL, now shut up! That’s right, I said, SHUT UP! You do not need all that money to impress a fabulous woman unless you have ZERO personality! Half the time, all that cashola is so YOU can feel like a big baller shot caller. It has little to do with the actual woman

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Amazon “Fellas - if you really want to WEED these women out, try having 5 or 6 genuine CONVERSATIONS with these women before you even take her out.”

Can’t believe I’m doing this (LOL!) but ^5!

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

ared ^5. text messaging is for short/flirty convo only. also, your 10:15 is on point.

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 8, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

@Staceye on you 9:58, Atlanta and dating is like walking through a field of land mines and trying not to make the wrong step.

Don’t take a test as personal, it is just something you have to do, to weed out certain folk!

In Atlanta,everyone,well most everyone has that ‘Ima Do Me and it’s all about me attitude’ so you have to put people in certain situations, to see how they fair under extreme circumstances.

Once a person shows you who they are, then you can work from there!

Always remember,you don’t come into the company in most cases, as the President! You have to earn your way to the top!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli “Why do i have to deal with how the last Nertesha, Coverseior, Hennessy, and Litarsha treated you?!”

And don’t forget Shaquanna, Trayshawna and Quashawnté.

By abc

April 8, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Better ways to ‘weed out’ chicks, or get to know them better, that don’t cost a lot of money:

Take them on a hike. It leaves a lot of quiet time to talk, and you can see if a bit of exertion leads them to complain — not feeling the complainers.

Take them to the zoo. Are they naturally curious about nature’s oddities?

Take them to church, and discuss the sermon afterwards.

Read the Sunday paper with them and discuss topics. Do they know anything, do your opinions match up, can you have a debate that doesn’t turn into an argument?

Stuff like that, natural and easy things, will tell you a lot more about a person than whether a woman is willing to pay for a date.

By mytwocents

April 8, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

I’m not the biggest fan of sugarcoating but lotsa folk don’t realize how their content can lost in the delivery. Let it marinate… We can all find a time when what we meant was taken the wrong way cuz of how we chose to say- uhm- text it. I’d tap into my lil piggy bank to take him out & explain the concept.

He had to really feel the vibe so I’ll give him that but calm down! She coulda pleasantly surprised him on their next outing by treating…now if they do have a 2nd, he’ll never know if it’s from the heart or a result of his mandate.

As for me, I’m planning to be pleasantly surprised when folk jump on Quid’s low self esteem for finding validation in a reservation. Equating his self worth w/ a 10 oz New York strip b/c that’s exactly what would be said of a female who demanded a tangible trade for her company in the future. Yup, I’ll keep waitin on that.

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

Ared I agree with you.

@LL that is not entirely true. There are women out there that won’t allow a man to pay for anything (this may be due to baggage or being overly independent- which could still be due to baggage). It really does not matter which foot the shoe fits…if you decide to plan an expensive date for someone you like, why complain about it?

I think it is very immature of you to think that the amount of dollars you spend on a person should allow for some return… This reminds me of the old gospel song by Shirley Caesar- “No Charge”

IG is in a church mood today…. Blog family, I apologize for my bad behavior on yesterday

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

M. if you’re not comfy with the homecooked meal, i understand. but i’ve had first dates at my home before. no big deal. also, your a man, you can take her. lol.

By Les Demigod

April 8, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

Point blank, dude is pulling a b-ish move. All he is doing is making other women pay for HIS past mistakes with women. Yes you have a lot of women out there using men as meal tickets, but most aren’t. I say a dude is responsible for the first three dates. Shidddddd, by that time if the chemistry isn’t there, hopefully your dumb a$$ done figure it out!! If you are good people, most women are quick to make you feel welcome…in a lot of ways.

L.L. dude, if I am treating a chick out to a JayZ’n’Mary show, it won’t be some chick I just met…trying to impress B-ishes will get you broke

I will admit, I do have some lady friends I don’t mind doing things for…smiling

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

Thanks Angie

abc - Great post on your 10:26. I’d be down to do all of that (except I don’t like the zoo, lol)

Hey Staceye - I wanted to tell you I had a cocquito last night!

By Rell

April 8, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

@ARED/DARRELL…i with dude….i am like dayum did i just read that right…i agree 1000 percent with what she posted today….HOT DAYUM!!!!

@M..that is what i am saying…refer to areds post

@fellas…..refer to areds post

@darrell…my dude, truth be told you straight in my book…but all men are visual fam…and that is what we notice first….i mean you good with the verbal game an all…but at the end of the day…you want that moist hole like the rest of us…lol

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

But who is to fault that a man feels he has to shovel out $500.00 dates for every woman he meets. If you presume yourself to be a baller and that’s how you roll then that’s on you. Don’t fault the women who don’t take the bait.

And then if you are putting it out like that on the first date, are you not setting yourself up?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

Morning, QC and thanks for the FYI on sending the INFO to A. ;-)

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

Dreams…i wasn’t…but i am… @…

There are places with no electricity or running water, and the people there still have courting process.

…i thought about going Amish once…

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

abc i don’t think politics should be brought up so early. it might be dangerous. for example, are you for the draft? i’m not and my boys will not enlist in the service. if they do, i will write them off.

By Blow Me a.k.a ROOKIE Cookie

April 8, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

Ared I agree…but don’t start talkin about sex either if you tight wad on the dollar. Take that slow too. lol. There are tons of things you can do besides go to dinner and movies….you are so right about that. I mean… a picnic in the park, Go down to Centennial Park and talk under the water fountains. Go to Stone Mountain. Have a spade party…I love that. There are ways you can create things to do without going to Houston’s or Pappadueax. You just have to be patience and creative. Alot of guys don’t have the patience or creativeness to sit and think of things to do. So thus you have this how dinner bills….But the house scene is played…Cook me a meal on date 7 and 8…

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

LOL WiseDiva I just said the same thing as your 10:21 comment. I guess I should refresh my screen after it’s been several minutes and read the new posts before commenting.

By The Truth

April 8, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

This convo brings to light the real problem with dating. Alot of cats need to put more time into getting their income up than their johnson in.

Puddy always has been and always will be expensive. If you’re sweating the 30 bucks for a meal you’re gonna flip when the convo goes to rings and homes and kids.

The way I see it it’easy. If i’m interested in a chick I let her know that and make plans. If not I don’t ask. If I loose a few bucks on chick A I chalk it up to the game. If I loose a few on B I slap the shyt out of myself for being stupid and move forward. Either way it won’t be the first or last 30 dollars I make or loose.

Staceye if we met and had a decent convo and I was cooking I’d invite you over. If you felt comfy you’d come. If not you wouldn’t. Either way i’m eating. My plans don’t change. Now come and give me a hug. LOL

BTW, the text thing was off base. Weak to say the least.

My question is why is everyone so hypersensitive to being hurt or taken for a few bucks?

By M.

April 8, 2008 10:34 AM | Link to this

@Angie aka B

LOL. You see where I am coming from though. The times are different now. Alot of guys have issues with rejection and letting go so thats why I think we have had an influx of dating tragedies lately. It’s some physically strong women out here Angie. Did you see Tocara on the Celebrity Fit Club, she body slammed that guy like Hulk Hogan….

By M.

April 8, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

@Angie aka B

LOL. You see where I am coming from though. The times are different now. Alot of guys have issues with rejection and letting go so thats why I think we have had an influx of dating tragedies lately. It’s some physically strong women out here Angie. Did you see Tocara on the Celebrity Fit Club, she body slammed that guy like Hulk Hogan….

By Bit-O-Honey

April 8, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

As Diddy coined, this dude is displaying some major bytch@ssness. I agree with abc there is more than one way to skin a cat (did I just write that…yeah, I did..anyway) There are a number of ways to determine if there are enough commonalities and/or interests there to even proceed further. I still say, I would mos def have to call buddy on his comment to see what’s really going on with his wiring. It obviously bothered her enough to write you Wise so she needs to follow-through with her gut feeling and at least ask the question…WTF dude?

By abc

April 8, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

Personally, I’m for the draft.

If conscripts included well-to-do kids and children of politicians, our country wouldn’t be so careless about going to war as we have been the past 5 years.

Public service is good for everyone. Being in a war zone sucks, but being in the military (for a while) is a great experience for young people.

I’m a veteran.

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

Alot of guys don’t have the patience or creativeness to sit and think of things to do. So thus you have this how dinner bills

Blow Me - Exactly. Just like guys can accuse women for being out for their wallets, women can accuse guys for being too quick to want sex.

I don’t mind AT ALL spending several convos before going out on dates, but guys are quick to want to take me out to a nice meal right after the number exchange. Why? I assume once they start spending those dollas, they assume the sex will soon follow. This is why I go on a lot of 1st and 2nd dates but will stop calling after that. You don’t really want to get to know me. But hey thanks for dinner. LOL

I agree with the house scene being “played” with the last guy it kind of worked out that way. In fact, the first time he cooked I didn’t expect it. I dropped by his place to pick up some tix for a fundraiser he was doing and he asked if I was hungry. He proceeded to whip up a (simple) candelight dinner. Nice touch. LOL

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

IslandGirl

Just to add to your 10:28, again, I don’t think the issue with Anna and Quid is who pays or who doesn’t. As I see it, Quid was using that approach as a way of gauging who Anna is on the inside, as her willingness to pay would have - to him - said a lot about her character. Matter of fact, I’m willing to bet that if Anna had agreed to pay, Quid wouldn’t have let her when the actual date rolled around.

To build on that point even further - and since you’re in a “church mood” today smile - on principle alone, I kind of liken this to when God commanded Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac. Once Abraham actually proved he was willing to do so, God retracted His command and offered another sacrifice instead. It’s in that same context that I say I’m willing to bet that Anna wouldn’t have ended up paying anyway. Make sense?

By Mo (also known as Moeisha)

April 8, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

ARed I am ^5 your 10:15 post! Good one Chica!

DreamsMaterialize I gotcha man and I understand. They tryin to work a sistah over here as well. No rest fo da weary :0)

Hey Cemeeli, IG, Rell..what’s happening ya’ll!

By Blow Me a.k.a ROOKIE Cookie

April 8, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

ISLAND GIRL That was not the right scripture…..that’s wrong. The LORD will make you the head and not the tail

It’s important to quote scriptures correctly. But nonetheless close anyway.

By Binford2K8

April 8, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

I try not to be cynical, but I know some women have definitely gotten the free meal/event off me.

Woman want equal rights and equal pay, but want “old-fashioned” dating protocol. Sorry Ladies, it’s 2008 and you pretty much rule the roost as it is - don’t be greedy.

As a man, it is hard to keep shelling out for nice evenings and then not getting a second date or a phone call returned. Heck, anyone can text these days and send a thank you. After a while, it does give you a jaded POV quite frankly.

So to this end, the gentleman in the topic example wants to make sure that hey, this is an equal deal. I ponied up to the bar on the first go round and now it is the ladies turn. From my point of view it sounds fair. Now when you deal with texts and IMs and the sort, people tend to accept the messages harsher than the spoken word. I realize that people can be short on those mediums and don’t look in to it too much and neither should “Anna”.

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

Darrell/Rell I don’t see why either of you are so “surprised.” I’ve never been on here talking about “buy me things” and “take me out on expensive dates.” Even still, I wonder why folks who’ve had differences in the past feel the need to say stuff (even in jest) like “I can’t believe I’m agreeing with you.” Just brings a level of “extraness” to the discussion that doesn’t need to be there.

In my humble opinion. :-)

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

abc not to get off topic, but the military is not like it used to be. my co-worker’s son enlisted, two weeks later gone to iraq. seriously, the day they come and get my sons is the day i die for my sons literally.

By "Longtime Lurker"

April 8, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

You know, what amazes me is the responses I am getting to a few of my responses!

I have been a vet in this game of dating for a hot min. now and I am speaking from the werkin mans view of dating,not my own.

Folks on here coming at me like I would spend wrekless on a broad that is new booty,is absurd!

With me, the initial will consist of going to Starbucks for some convo, attending some free events that I get invited to all the time or something to that nature.

I will admit,like most cats,I have been “got” in the past, but that was a long time ago and with experience comes change..ya better wrek con ize!

By The Melo

April 8, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

If a man is too broke or cheap to pay for the date, then he has no business dating WRONG!!! Men with such attitudes spoil the chics for all of us!! the guy is right in testing the woman to see if she can pay coz dating is expepensive, like most of u said.So why not test the woman to see what kind of head is resting atop her neck.If she is a chicken head, she will opt out coz she sees dollars in men, but if she values the personality and she can spend, she will accpet the date and pay herself.Lurker, ur 9.37 was on point.When i was younger and broke, i used to get to the spot 1st, tell the girl i already ate coz i was really hungry(lie), let her order and i wld just have a drink while she ate, but i wld pay.Its a game and if u not creative in it, other more creative dudes get the prized chics.Finding a chic with the right mental attitude can be hard, no wonder the guy suggested that approach, he is tired of dating losers. have a nice day all.

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

So BinF that second date call should be contingent on how much you shoveled out for the date rather than how you two meshed?

Complaints about the cost of dates…If you ain’t got it like that stop leading with it.

The true test is if she is feeling you enough to spend the day doing nothing with you. That right there will let you know. It’s not how much you come out of pocket.

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

Darrell I agree, I think she would not have mind paying for the meal (see my first post). The problem is entirely in his delivery of asking. It was very awkward and inelegant.

By the way, I know I wrote that men are expected to be the “Head not the Tail”…..

By Rell

April 8, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

@ABC..i agree on your draft rant….i am a veteran as well USMC 90-98….and to further that i am going to go back in….as an officer of course and deal with this terrorist problem..counter intel here i come….oooo and it will be with the reserves…lol

sup Mo…long time no chat….

@ared

but guys are quick to want to take me out to a nice meal right after the number exchange. Why? I assume once they start spending those dollas, they assume the sex will soon follow. This is why I go on a lot of 1st and 2nd dates but will stop calling after that. You don’t really want to get to know me. But hey thanks for dinner. LOL

this started happening when the music videos changed..when it was cool to drop dollars just to impress for some poo see….wash rinse repeat….I BLAME BOB JOHNSON/MTV/RADIO ONE

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

Alot of cats need to put more time into getting their income up than their johnson in.*

If we met and had a decent convo and I was cooking I’d invite you over. If you felt comfy you’d come. If not you wouldn’t. Either way i’m eating. My plans don’t change.

My question is why is everyone so hypersensitive to being hurt or taken for a few bucks?

Truth - Amen to ALL of the above. Especially the question you posed.

Puddy should be expensive…but a lot of these women today are driving the prices down to the cellar. That’s why guys can even GET away with this texting bull!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

Amazon “Even still, I wonder why folks who’ve had differences in the past feel the need to say stuff (even in jest) like “I can’t believe I’m agreeing with you.” Just brings a level of “extraness” to the discussion that doesn’t need to be there.”

It’s called being facetious and is simply a light-hearted way to augment whatever else was said so that the person to whom the comment was directed takes it in the humorous context in which it was intended, that’s all. By the way, “extraness”? LOL!

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 10:59 AM | Link to this

Ared I agree..if guys would actually take the time to see what a chick is about and actually talk and listen instead of strategizing their “get the puddy” plan…they would find out a lot more about her character! I for one do not ask a guy to take me to a resturant that I do not take myself to. I am not going to wait until a date to go somewhere where the food is $50 a plate…I do that for myself. But I will order what I want when I go out with you. Now there have been instances where I was told from the getty up that the date is his treat so I will be mindful of his pockets and watch to see what he is ordering and try to order something in the same price bracket. I feel weird if his meal is $20 and mine is $55. But if I do order it…I will offer to pay for mine.

Cemeeli Girl it’s gotta be the Scout man! LOL Actually it was my drill sargeant azz mami! LOL She said never assume with a man for anything…be prepared to pay, roll out and anything that may arise!

Longime Lurker I am not a trusting person..so everyone is suspect in my book. But I do not have to test them..I watch and observe..they slip up eventually if their intent is malicious.

Wise You do not need all that money to impress a fabulous woman unless you have ZERO personality! Half the time, all that cashola is so YOU can feel like a big baller shot caller. It has little to do with the actual woman Girl you are dead on the money! I dated guy who threw his cash around. I believe he had low self esteem so he got girls who were in need all the time and that is how he could control and manipulate them into doing things. But I let him know in words and in actions that I was financially ok before him and I will be after him. I do not need his money to pay for my condo, food, clothes…NADA! So he had better come with more than money and lavish trips. He tried to buy me $750 shoes..I told him if he wants to blow money..give me the $750 and pay a bill..other wise keep it! I am not impressed by the baller. He is most likely empty inside! Hence the reason me and the ex did not work out…once he saw he could not control me he felt inferior. I guess he moved on to his next mindless needy victim!

abc I am a nature girl so I love hikes…and zoo trips. I like places where we can talk without yelling over music. I like fun dates like Malibu Grand Prix, water gun fights, and amusement parks!

Ared Did you enjoy the coquito?

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

Hey Cee

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 11:05 AM | Link to this

It’s simply a light-hearted way to augment whatever else was said so that the person to whom the comment was directed takes it in the humorous context in which it was intended

Darrell - Doesn’t come across that way to me. I think a “simpler” way would be to simply say ^5 and keep it moving.

Agree to disagree then.

Staceye - It was actually a “cocquito mojito” but either way it was YUMMY!!!

By QC

April 8, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

Hey IslandG

By DreamsMaterialize

April 8, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

I have to disagree with a few people who think that a man paying shows that he values her time and company. When I go on a date, I’m NOT paying for a woman’s time. My time is just as valuable as hers, and I offer MY time in return for HERS. What I pay for is HOW we experience OUR time together. The pricetag on that experience is irrelevant and is in no way a reflection of how valuable that time is.

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

April 8, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

He was a little rough with it he could have been smoother and made her feel comfortable about paying for dinner.. You cant let her know you want her to pay for dinner.. You have to try her and use her strong woman against her.. See if she is a modern woman her so called ego will get the best of her and make her want to pay for dinner oh and everything is done with a smile as not to spook her.. Oh and women dont have egos.. You have to have a pair of kahunas to have a ego..

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

LongT it is probably because you stepped out on the stage, grabbed the mic and said this:

I cannot count how many women I have gone out with and spent $75 - $150.00 per date and things did not work out for whatever reason, mostly due to games on her end or that “it’s all about me attitude”

Then came back for and followed up with this:

The majority of the dudes have already spent at least $150-300 for tickets,before the date has even started. Throw in a meal for two = $70-$100 bucks, drinks at the concert $12 bucks a pop and parking at $ 30-$40 bucks,that almost $300.00 on the low end! High end over $500.00.

You lead and comments followed.

By The Truth

April 8, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

binford the ladies already recommended having a few convo’s and whatnot before taking someone out. If the first thing we ask is can we go out than we deserve whatever we get. Remember, these chicks aren’t holding a gun to our head. We’re volunteering to spend this loot. I recommend liking fewer chicks.

Angie nothing is today as it was yesterday. That’s th beauty of life. With that being said and with the abscence of dads in the home, I strongly support ABC’s post. The military is a great experience and it shows you that there is a world out there other than the one you come from. Will some people die? Yes. But some will die on the corner of their block too. THe great thing is your son won’t die one second before his time. I’d be more concerned with making sure he had a great life than a long sorry one. (Not your son in particular)

LL and Melo anybody that hasn’t gotten beaten just hasn’t played. The great thing is having learned the lesson. I wish i could meet the chicks that taught me lessons along the way. I’d say thanks for helping me get here. LOL

Rell I thought about you last night watching a show on Camp Pendleton. Those cats had hovercrafts, swimming tanks and all the toys. They were having fun. I miss that kind of stuff.

By Blow Me a.k.a ROOKIE Cookie

April 8, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

Staceye I am not a trusting person..so everyone is suspect in my book. But I do not have to test them..I watch and observe..they slip up eventually if their intent is malicious

So true. Actions speaks so much louder than words. I recently learned that lesson…Watch and pay close attention. You do that you can see them for who they really are or what they are trying to be in your life.

By Les Demigod

April 8, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Hey IG, QC, DasV, Eye, and CeeCee

And A.red you are right, it doesn’t take much money to please a woman, these dude are tripping…

Raqi are you sure “Anne/angie” isn’t date your brother…he is known per you for making women treat time out all the time, LOL.

By Rell

April 8, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

@ared

wonder why folks who’ve had differences in the past feel the need to say stuff (even in jest) like “I can’t believe I’m agreeing with you.” Just brings a level of “extraness” to the discussion that doesn’t need to be there.

dully noted…..my fault for being adult about the past..my olive branch only goes so far!

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

I had to go back and read Lurker’s 9:37 to see what he was getting kudos for.

She quickly said “I have a couple hundred dollars you can use,until you get strait” based on that, I moved her up a tier and took her out to Houston’s yesterday and informed her that the whole story was a lie and I was testing her to see if she would step up to the plate.

Let me just say NEVER IN LIFE would this ever fly with me. I’m never offering cash to a guy because I’m never asking for cash for a guy. Just goes back to the way I was raised.

In addition, I’ve had dudes “test” me on stuff like this and although I’ve passed the test, I never appreciated these types of methods. I had one NFL player ask me out on a date and tell me he left his wallet at home. No biggie, I paid for both our meals. Later on, he gave me a DOUBLE the cost of the meal because I passed his “gold digger” test.

I feel such games are folks trying to compensate for their own lack of character and judgment. Goes back to Truth’s question about what is the big deal if you lose a couple bucks in the process?

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

April 8, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

Oh and if a chick is that petty to try and get at you for dinner and a meal you should check yourself for choosing a ball breaker.. You should be able to tell by the convo whether she is there for a meal or not.. Oh and the wondering eye because if shes into you her attention is on you… If youre gangsta once you find out she is there for a meal just politely let her know yall are going dutch tonight..

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

The pricetag on that experience is irrelevant and is in no way a reflection of how valuable that time is. - Dreams, thank you! I love that, can you teach a class, please. LOL

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

Forget you Truth! LOL

ARED I assume once they start spending those dollas, they assume the sex will soon follow. This is why I go on a lot of 1st and 2nd dates but will stop calling after that. You don’t really want to get to know me. But hey thanks for dinner Girl my sentiments exactly! Like I said…dudes want to be all up in your guts without even knowing your last name, favorite color, STD standing, mental health (I could be nuts..but all they worry about is busting one)!

Alot of cats need to put more time into getting their income up than their johnson in WELL PUT!

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

truth back in the day, ppl served their whole term and then turned around and did it again. today, they are not lasting a year. their dead. i stand by my post and i invite anyone/military to bring it!!!

By THE FILTHY VILLIANOUS DK

April 8, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

Another thing.. When you go out you should be going out and a date is there so youre not alone.. So when you go to a restarant its not about the money youre spending on her it about the time your having and the company you have, that way its no pressure from either side.. Oh that ties into yesterday about being a player.. Players do what they want Suckas do what they can..

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

…I’m NOT paying for a woman’s time. My time is just as valuable as hers, and I offer MY time in return for HERS. What I pay for is HOW we experience OUR time together. Excellent post DreamsM.

All you WLBs admonished me for going to Strokers and not giving you guys heads up for lunch. Not one of you have responded. This was a test and you all failed (LOL).

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

Hey QC, and Demi

For those that need further explanation of the scripture. Here is my take: If you have big dreams for your life- your expectations are bigger than your own will. The scripture says, “God will make you the head and not the tail”. Why shouldn’t you expect this of him? You should always be in the mindset of expecting God to move in your life, because God’s word is a promise to us all.

As single women, we are taught to love God first, then our husbands. God created men to be head of their wives- bears and keepers. Wives are to submit to their husbands out of reverence for Christ (which brings you back to the principle of loving God first).

Ok, back to the topic at hand

By Rell

April 8, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

@truth….actually i miss it..but i was just tired at the time with all the covert crap…i mean i could get my arse shot off and now one would really know the truth…and i was tired of the mental toll it was taking on me at the time..but once out i realized how good it was for me as a person….so after all this time i will give it another go…hell all i do i read military stuff, watch it, study general, tactics..straight up warefare stuff…i never had the fear of getting hurt…hell when i switch from directtv to comcast….i was p** they did not include the military channell…But all that on camp pendleton was it…lol

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

LOL Demi. Honestly I would liken my brother to DK. That statement he made about letting it be the woman’s idea to do things is my bro inside and out.

He would brag about these women going all out to do these for him without him having to ask.

But still, he is a ho. LOL

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

Rell - Thanks for the coolio response dude.

Dreams - Great post…but you already knew that.

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

Hi Demi how you feeling bruh? thought about you the other day when i was grazed by the Pollen Fairy when getting into the car. That is some thick stuff!

Stac…Here lady, step up to the podium for Badge #568, for that 10:59 post…oh…imma have to tell Troop Leader Thomas how you turned out.

By The Melo

April 8, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

Hw much have women(sme) on here, spend on guys they liked that much who were not their boyfriends yet at the time?? Ared do u believe u can like and trust a human being(a guy) and spend on him without feeling taken financially, even if u two dont go out eventually. I will admit to spending on a woman, even when i did not have any horizontal thoughts about her in ma head.

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

IG Submitting to another human being is out of realm man! As a child…I had to do it…I will not do it as an adult. I think they only time I would submit is if I see and ending where he looks like a total azz because I knew he was dead wrong on something! LOL

By Kym

April 8, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

Wisey-Dreams Then why should there be a price tag at all. I mean I wonder how many women would seriously consider going out on a date that involved spending no more than 20.00 for the entire date. That includes any meal and any prep work. Everyone says it is about the experience but I know that if a guy suggested to you how about we grab a coffee at Starbucks and just chat..how many women would be open to that. I ask because for a first meeting that is how I like to go out.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

Dreams “The pricetag on that experience is irrelevant and is in no way a reflection of how valuable that time is.”

In theory, you’re absolutely right, but in practice this is not always the case as there are still women who will complain about where that so-called “valuable” time is spent.

In other words, women often correlate the value of that time with the actual place you choose to take them on the date. I call it my “McDonald’s Theory”. Women will consistently say that it’s all about quality, not quantity; that how much money you spend doesn’t equate to how they truly value your time together. But I’ve yet to come across a woman who doesn’t look at me sideways when I suggest we go to McDonald’s to eat. Call it a “test” if you like, but the point is made nonetheless.

Yes, the price tag on the experience should be irrelevant, but to a lot of women it isn’t.

By Rell

April 8, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

@sexyleggs..when you going to strokers for lunch?…hell i could use that today….i just dont want them coming up trying to hug me..that body spray stuff only smell goods on them…it stinks when you mix it with sean john cologne…lol

By 2CPTG

April 8, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

Hey folks…….

dude was right! Yo turn!!!!

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

how about we grab a coffee at Starbucks and just chat.

perfect first date! and the dessert cake is on me. :)

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

do u believe u can like and trust a human being(a guy) and spend on him without feeling taken financially, even if u two dont go out eventually

Melo - I’m not sure I understand your question. But I never feel that way. My life is not ruled by money. It’s ruled by the pursuit of happiness.

The guy I alluded to earlier, didn’t often take me out to nice dinners. I, however, LOVE nice dinners, so I’ve dropped $100+ dollars to take him out. It’s good enough for me, so it’s good enough for him.

In the end, we didn’t end up working out but I never felt I got “taken.” That’s just the way life works. I’m not of that “victim” mentality. You live, you learn. None of this stuff should break you.

By M.

April 8, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

@Binford2K8

Well put!

@Blog

If this guy was old fashioned and asked her to go dutch, do you guys think this would have ruined his chances with her or would they still be on level ground?

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

Rell you about to come out of Strokers with Booty dust on ya! LOL

By DreamsMaterialize

April 8, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

Kym We’re in complete agreement. That was the point of my whole post. And my post before that was addressing why your “broke” status should NOT affect whether or not you date.

WiseDiva If a class they want, a class I will teach, but I can’t be in the classroom talking to the wall. lol

ARed Wassup girl. I always like when you pump me up with the compliments…but you already knew that. ;-)

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

Island Girl - I completely get your 11:22 and I agree!!!

By M.

April 8, 2008 11:43 AM | Link to this

@Binford2K8

Well put!

@Blog

If this guy was old fashioned and asked her to go dutch, do you guys think this would have ruined his chances with her or would they still be on level ground?

By Kym

April 8, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

AngieB You really cant base what you know about the military on what you see on tv or get via hearsay. I know men who where really lost in what to do in the job market and found their niche in the military.

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

Staceye you say that now, but wait until you meet the right man…I bet you will submit. lol

Girl, I struggle with this principle as well, but hey. The right man will come along.

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

M. - Dutch is not old fashioned. Women did not pay their own way back then.

By Rell

April 8, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

@staceye that is the only thing i hate about going..that heavy cig/bodyspray smell you have from head to toe…and when i leave i wish we had a lake minataka so i could jump in and purfiy myself

By The Truth

April 8, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Angie not that many people get killed and, while I hate to say it, it’s usually the weaker cats that go first. For a young guy that doesn’t believe his stuff stinks it’s a wake up call. you get put in so many different positions that you either grow or break. These same guys, when they get to you, will have a much better idea of what their limits are. I’m not so much afraid of dying as I am not being able to live like I want.

By abc

April 8, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

Biblical blessings for obedience and curses for disobedience, as you reference from Deuteronomy (‘God will make you the head and not the tail’), pertain to Old Testament Law, and not to New Testament Grace. By definition, being Christian all but obsoletes Old Testament Law. If you’re Jewish, stick with trying to fulfill The Law. If you’re Christian, it’s a New Deal. Our own willful lives are as nothing to God.

The roles you state are a bit in error. God created woman so that man wouldn’t be alone, He didn’t create man to be ‘head’ of woman. All people are required to submit to each other: husbands to wives, wives to husbands, friends to friends, everyone in their own way. People need to read the entire New Testament and take it as a whole, not just pick and choose this and that snatch of Paul’s letters for their own selfish and carnal purposes.

Husband submit to wives by loving them unconditionally, willing to do anything for their well-being, “as Christ loved the church”. Women submit to their husbands by trusting them. If those roles can’t be fulfilled, don’t marry that person.

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

Kym, I went out on a date w/someone from this blog and I spent $36.45 (including tip). Why, because he was a gentleman and I enjoyed his company!

By m'karyl

April 8, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

Well, I do not think that he is wrong in his axpectations that the dating expenses be mutually shared by both parties. That is not unreasonable in and of itself. But the way he may have conveyed his expectations to Anna could be called into question. How he said it, in what context of conversation, etc. Maybe he should have allowed her to initiate the next date move…

Face it, dating is not an inexpensive endeavor. And it is unfortunate that the bulk of the expectation for expenses fall on the male counterpart in most cases. I do not think that the man should always have to pick up the tab on dates, but I do believe that the onus of financial accommodation shoulg be a on the person proposing the date (meaning that if I ask, then I intend to pay-fair game).

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

Kym - when the chemistry/connection is there, I would go dissect a whale with a dude, seriously. it’s just not something to get too hung up on.

When I am spending money on myself, because I like nice things, places, events, I don’t complain because I am having a grand time, so it’s worth it to me. It is not required to have fun, but when it is, I pay and have no regrets.

I think the problem with this guy is his lack of tact, and it appears his lack of patience with dating - he clearly is making her pay (pun intended) for his past dating misadventures.

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

2C

Go lay your happy self down somewhere!

Where you been anyway?

Stac is he for real?…

….we were ready to take you out on the town guy. But since neither of us has seen the sundress you agreed to buy. We’re going to the Spot and to your favorite eatery & you get’s to sit in the car! :)

By M.

April 8, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

@Binford2K8

Well put!

@Blog

If this guy was old fashioned and asked her to go dutch, do you guys think this would have ruined his chances with her or would they still be on level ground?

By Les Demigod

April 8, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli I am good, the rain has really helped. Only my eyes are burning now, LOl

Raqi LOL, I thought so as well after reading DK’s post…and bruh, MAYNE the ‘08 ‘Busa feel good past a buck fify, LOL

By The Melo

April 8, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

Ared ur response was good enough.. i like that kind of attitude in a woman!!

By 2CPTG

April 8, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

hey, Black Girl….missed ya!

on the real tho, buddy coulda had ‘ol girl payin for the second date without even saying it; If he did his thing right on the first date, she woulda been askin him out for seconds….

By M.

April 8, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

@AmazonRed

Ok, what if he wanted to split the bill with her then?

By Jazzyone11

April 8, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

The thing is if you are out here in the dating pool, spending money to date works both ways I don’t expect a man to wine and dine me at all times and its a mutual thing for me. But listen if its that serious for a bruh to ask me to dinner and then goes thru all the rigamaroe to try to get me to pay cause of his own baggage then hes really not the one for me anyway…and we keeps it moving…it isn’t that serious..

Yes I would say I spend money on a man that I am dating becasue thats just me and it isn’t that deep of an issues for me and I travel light less the drama and stife…

One of my mottos is if you ain’t got no money then take/keep ya broke a* home..and thats for men and women. Putting forth the effort of me and trying to attracct him is a two way street. My character is one of I don’t ask anything froma person that I can’t put forth myself. Dating isn’t that dayum hard either you vibe, like him the way he is or not…on to the next…

By Mo (aka Moeisha)

April 8, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

Rell hit me up when you get a chance mayne!

DreamsMaterialze great post about spending time and like most others, I agree.

Hey Demi, bowling pin lady is here today! Get ya laugh on boo!

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

how many women would seriously consider going out on a date that involved spending no more than 20.00 for the entire date. That includes any meal and any prep work. Everyone says it is about the experience but I know that if a guy suggested to you how about we grab a coffee at Starbucks and just chat..how many women would be open to that

AmazonRed raises her hand.

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

kym, truth this decision is mine alone, not the kids. they can go in if they want to, but i’ll have no part in it. and i will make myself clear that they do not have my support. if they don’t want to go, i’ll stand by them and fight (possibly jail time or death). yea, this may be ignorant to you, but i stand by my post.

By M.

April 8, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

@AmazonRed

Ok, what if he wanted to split the bill with her then?

By Jazzyone

April 8, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

And another thing…I don’t expect a man to treat me any less than I treat myself..If Im sporting it up in the finest or the lamest I don’t expect any more or less from a cat and treat him as I treat myself. Life is way too short for all the drama and baggage…fall in or not quite simple.

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

Island Girl NO! If he can not take me as his equal and we make decisions together..then he is not the right man for me. There are those that lead and those that are led…I have never been a follower. I do not like being told what to do! I am rebellious by nature. I’m the type of person who will wear red to a Black and white gala! LOL

abc God created woman so that man wouldn’t be alone, He didn’t create man to be ‘head’ of woman. All people are required to submit to each other I agree!

Women submit to their husbands by trusting them now I believe that is a 2 way street.

By Rell

April 8, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

@ABC…and the church said amen…nice breakdown brother

@truth..are we brothers or something…i think the same way

I’m not so much afraid of dying as I am not being able to live like I want.

and the whole weak/strong…naw dude not so much..when its your time….dont matter…i recently purchased the marines of lima company..about the reserve unit from ohio that lost the most men..very touching and personal….it got to me…because i know how they feel…it is about the man next to you

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

abc what you’re saying is also true. However, a man should be head of his household. When it is all said and done there are expectations in the roles we fulfill. As a man, which role will you fulfill in your household?

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

i think the problem with this guy is his lack of tact and he seems cocky to me. you know women hate cocky men.

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

M. - I think his approach is all wrong, period. No one, male or female, really WANTS to come out the pocket for dates. There are plenty of folks who don’t MIND doing it.

That being said, what he WANTS is irrelevant. He asked, he needs to expect to pay. That’s just how it’s supposed to work (even if it may not make total sense in 2008).

I’ll usually offer to pay MY share on a first date. 99% of the time the guy will insist on paying and even look a little offended that I offered.

So to go back to your question…”would he have ruined his changes?” Depends on the woman. But for me, it would have definitely left a bad taste in my mouth. Could I have overlooked that if I really felt a connection…quite possibly. But I’d already know we’d have a difference in values.

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

Sounds to me like Kym just offered up a challenge. Can anyone come up with the perfect $20 date that leaves your mate having had an awe-inspiring “experience”?

Or is it all based on the almight $$$? hmmm???

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli girl I am still waiting on my sundress too girl. LOL

By abc

April 8, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

Men should be head of household by definition. The paradox is that they can only truly be the head if allowed to be so. There’s nothing they can do to assert themselves into that position if the wife won’t cooperate. That’s the problem with most marriages that have problems: the wife won’t allow her husband to be the head of the household.

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

Staceye* I see you don’t entirely understand the concept of submission in a biblical sense. In this scripture, Paul is not saying that woman is beneath man. No, not at all. In fact he is challenging men, to see women at their equal. If a woman was to be attacked, her man is expected to stand in the way of her attacker.

As I said, I struggled with this principle at first until I studied the word.

In the same light, we are expected to stand by our man. The funny thing is a lot of women do this anyway, even outside of marriage. Women fight for a man they are not married too. Anyway, I’m not trying to insight anger, just want to enlighten.

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

raqi easy! a game of pool and share a appetizer w/a drink. fun. plus, ladies know to eat before a date. y’all know this right? lol.

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

Can anyone come up with the perfect $20 date that leaves your mate having had an awe-inspiring “experience”?

The typical dinner and movie isn’t awe inspiring, so cheap dates don’t have to be either.

Take me to a twilight picnic in the park. I’d be perfectly content with light fare and conversation.

By Jazzyone

April 8, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

20 date??

Wind down at Cent Park (free)..grab the picnic basket, hit the store get a salmon spread ring and craz, grapes, strawberrys whip cream..summer sausage for a snack..to park 5 bucks call it a day…that type of date he and I both would want a encore.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 12:14 PM | Link to this

Raqi “Can anyone come up with the perfect $20 date that leaves your mate having had an awe-inspiring “experience”?”

If “date count” is not an issue (i.e. 1st date, 2nd date, etc.) and she is comfortable with the idea, I’d invite her to my house for a home-cooked spaghetti dinner and a movie. :-)

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

abc if he shows that he has the skills to lead, then my husband will be the hoh. period. i’m not going to let things fall by the waist side because he’s over there playin’ xbox.

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

ladies know to eat before a date. y’all know this right? lol

No…why would I do that? Angie stop making it so easy for these clowns! LOL

By M.

April 8, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

@AmazonRed

That is a good point..but I think in a perfect world. Are women straight up asking guys, would you like to go to dinner on friday? NO. They are waiting for guys to approach them and if the guys ask they may or may not say yes. Maybe you are the exception and not the rule as far as asking guys out. Most girls want to be approached and won’t go out of their way to talk to a guy

By Rell

April 8, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

@ABC…

That’s the problem with most marriages that have problems: the wife won’t allow her husband to be the head of the household.

DAYUM dude you spitting today..who turned you on…dayum…ladies if you want a smooth marriage allow your man or let me say trust him enough to lead you guys in the right direction…that is one problem right there from my EXPERIENCE that will lead to divorce….

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

Let’s be fair abc. He must also live up to the role. I am all for following if the one leading is worthy. I can find a deadend street or dark hole all by myself. Why would anyone be led to nowhere?

By 2CPTG

April 8, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

Staceye, Cee, and I think Big Words, I got y’all……

send me your sizes….

By M.

April 8, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

@AmazonRed

That is a good point..but I think in a perfect world. Are women straight up asking guys, would you like to go to dinner on friday? NO. They are waiting for guys to approach them and if the guys ask they may or may not say yes. Maybe you are the exception and not the rule as far as asking guys out. Most girls want to be approached and won’t go out of their way to talk to a guy

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

ared then you’ll be on full and won’t have to show him what a pig you are. lol. guys who know me, know i love to eat. it ain’t cute to show him how much i love food on a first date.

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

abc One should not marry another they are not equally yoked to. The issue of a woman’s stance should have been identified even before entering into marriage with her. We talked about discussing finance, etc prior to marriage. You can’t go in saying that you did not know what her mindset was on certain issues prior to marriage without having these types of conversations with her. If you’re dating a woman that enjoys having screaming matches with you over breakfast, do you think her attitude or mindset will change once you marry her?

I’m not trying to go back to our discussion about divorce, but you may want to revisit some of the posts where you guys blamed everything on the woman (for the cause of divorce).

By m'karyl

April 8, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

Jazzyone Perfect idea for sure. There are so many inexpensive, but interesting things to do in the ATL that can make having a low-cost date doable and fun. If a person needs to have someone spend big bucks to make an overwhelming impression (so that the quantitative, not the qualitative, is the main criteria to satisfy) then let them take they own dayum self out and spend the money doing it. I go out to enjoy myself and if I ain’t having a good timem, then I do not cae how much money is spent or not spent- I’m outta there inna NYC minute fo’ sho’…

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

M. - I don’t ask a guys out. I’m very traditional when it comes to the role males and females play.

So yeah, I’m going to expect you ask me out and I’m going to expect you to pay. Play your position dude. If we get hitched you’ve got dirty draws being washed and a home cooked meal coming your way until death parts us. LOL. So do what you’re supposed to do. LOL

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

I’m smiling Raqi. You’re absolutely right, let’s be fair…

By 2CPTG

April 8, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

Jazzy, you tellin folks bout our first date???? sexyness on the low-low!!!!

By M.

April 8, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

@AmazonRed

That is a good point..but I think in a perfect world. Are women straight up asking guys, would you like to go to dinner on friday? NO. They are waiting for guys to approach them and if the guys ask they may or may not say yes. Maybe you are the exception and not the rule as far as asking guys out. Most girls want to be approached and won’t go out of their way to talk to a guy

By Rell

April 8, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

@JAZZY…that was my idea…lol

how about for 20bucks

a pitcher of margarita and chips salsa at local mexi resturant

wings and drinks at dugans or three dollar cafe

lunch at vortex

starbucks

angie had a good one pool game and drinks

staceye…pinic in the park…

the zoo

ice cream and the park

lunch special at local “shoe show”…lol

smoothies after a gym date..have done that before

that is all for now

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

then you’ll be on full and won’t have to show him what a pig you are.

Angie - I know you are joking so I won’t slam you for such foolishness. I know you know how to conduct yourself like a lady on dates! ;-)

But if you’re a pig by nature, by all means be yourself girl. It’s all gonna come out eventually. LOL

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 12:29 PM | Link to this

M, I’m part of the exception pack. I will ask a guy out to dinner. I have a lot of traditional ways, but I see nothing wrong w/asking a guy out!

By m'karyl

April 8, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this

Jazzyone Perfect idea for sure. There are so many inexpensive, but interesting things to do in the ATL that can make having a low-cost date doable and fun. If a person needs to have someone spend big bucks to make an overwhelming impression (so that the quantitative, not the qualitative, is the main criteria to satisfy) then let them take they own dayum self out and spend the money doing it. I go out to enjoy myself and if I ain’t having a good timem, then I do not cae how much money is spent or not spent- I’m outta there inna NYC minute fo’ sho’…

By The Truth

April 8, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this

Rell and ABC “the wife won’t allow her husband to be the head of the household.” no chick can stop me from being what I am. she can only choose not to follow. That will be demonstrated by her willingness to argue, be miserable, and basically be unagreeable. The key is to determine early if that woman will follow and if not get ghost.

By M.

April 8, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

@AmazonRed

Ok. So technically, most guys will never get asked out by girls unless he can jump out of a window and not cut himself or break a bone lol…

By Les Demigod

April 8, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

…the wife won’t allow her husband to be the head of the household…

In most cases, women are marrying dudes with less or no back bone to begin with.

Women will try you, but it is up the dude to put there foot down…Be like: Bish chill, I got this.

By kimmie

April 8, 2008 12:32 PM | Link to this

My father was, and raised my brothers with a mindset more like that of abc, so that is what I am used to. The dating world is different now, and it’s hard to find people that know how to behave like ladies and gentlemen.

I thought proper etiquette called for whoever invites or initiates pays. It is tacky to try and order the most expensive thing on the menu because someone else is paying. Everyone should date within their means and not go into debt trying to show off. If funds are a problem, creativity and a willing spirit are key for both parties involved. Anyone male or female that looks down on another because they can’t afford high-priced dates lacks class and who wants that? Keep it moving if you see you have a user on your hands. Rules of etiquette are there to make everyone comfortable, not exclude or make a person feel bad. And I’m sure a lot may disagree with me, but I only go dutch when I go out with my friends. On dates either he pays or I pay the check. Or he may buy dinner and I buy the movie tickets & snacks. It’s just not elegant to me to get the check and say “Your portion is ….” on a date. But that’s just how I roll and how I was raised and it’s never been a problem.

Any man that is with me will not ever have to worry about me not offering to pay at times. When I have gauged, by TALKING and spending quality TIME with a man, that he is not using me, it’s on and popping. I’ll spoil him and we’ll spoil each other - like the relationship I’m in now. Guys, if it happens that you meet a lady and feel that she’s using you for free meals and entertainment, chalk it up to the game and get better at your selection process. Don’t try to break the bank on the first few dates. The Starbucks idea is popular now and the quality female friends I know would definitely go for it. No need to invent silly tests to “weed” people out. If you can’t afford to date, don’t date, you’re a grown a— man.

As for the dude texting about a 2nd date, that act itself would have turned me off. Pick up the phone! It’s nothing wrong with him wanting to avoid being used, but like others have said here, give the lady a chance to offer and don’t assume she’s like “all the rest”. Unless she wasn’t raised right, she would have gladly treated him in time because she was feeling him.

Bottom line, WD, he knew his move was a punk move and he didn’t have the balls to phone her and talk to her, ask her on a date like a man, he HID BEHIND THE TEXT!

By BigWords

April 8, 2008 12:32 PM | Link to this

2CPTG

Hi handsome! Lurking. Why you need my size? Going back to read.

By M.

April 8, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

@SexyLeggs

That is cool. Maybe you can teach a class?

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

2C you thank ya slick with the Ray Charles approach, huh? Told you between a 6-8 and it depends on where we going/store.

So where are we going? My treat on the smoothies and appetizers.

By The Melo

April 8, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

I’m very traditional when it comes to the role males and females play., Ared and IslandG is the missionary position also ur position of choice??(u knw i alwayz bring a sexxual angle to it) I dnt knw if Staceye likes missionary tho, i suspect she likes to ride and hold the harness, when she has the right company..aint that right girl??

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

M. - It’s different times my friends. These desperate chicks today are asking guys out, paying, and preaching like they can screw without emotion like men. Plenty of those type chicks running around! Got the game ALL wrong!

By M.

April 8, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this

@SexyLeggs

That is cool. Maybe you can teach a class?

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

ared it’s not foolishness. i’m serious. on a first date, it’s not all about the food, it’s about him, the convo, the togetherness. a female shouldn’t go on a first date starving. now that’s foolishness. when you two get comfy with each other, then that’s the time for the both of you to enjoy the food together, etc.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 12:41 PM | Link to this

IslandGirl

I once attempted to have a conversation with a female friend on the subject of Biblical ‘submission’ and the conversation barely got off the ground. She immediately got defensive and was very suspect as to why I even asked her the question. The reason I asked the question was in the context of what you raised in your 12:24 post about being “equally yoked”, but she assumed I was bringing it up in some exclusively masculine context.

In the Greek, the word “submit” is “HUPEIKO” which means “to retire”, “withdraw” or “to yield under” (hupo - under & eiko - to yield). So, taken in its proper context one can clearly see that the word has more to do with the woman’s attitude in the marriage, not her position.

By M.

April 8, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

@SexyLeggs

That is cool. Maybe you can teach a class?

By Blow Me a.k.a ROOKIE Cookie

April 8, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

^^5 Truth On point! So right.

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

@Melo you’re sick, you know that right? LOL

By M.

April 8, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed

That’s what I was thinking. Maybe we are all dealing with different types of dating scenes and people in general. It’s good to embrace the differences. You probably have people out here and maybe on the blog using a dating theory that worked good for them way back in 1984 or somebody who hasn’t even been on a date in 2008 with someone new yet. So like you said some people got it right, some got it wrong. Time to go back to the basics.

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

• Guys, if it happens that you meet a lady and feel that she’s using you for free meals and entertainment, chalk it up to the game and get better at your selection process. Don’t try to break the bank on the first few dates. The Starbucks idea is popular now and the quality female friends I know would definitely go for it. No need to invent silly tests to “weed” people out. If you can’t afford to date, don’t date, you’re a grown a— man.*

kimmie - Amen! You never disappoint me.

By Jazzyone

April 8, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

*By Les Demigod

April 8, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

…the wife won’t allow her husband to be the head of the household…

In most cases, women are marrying dudes with less or no back bone to begin with.

Women will try you, but it is up the dude to put there foot down…Be like: Bish chill, I got this.*

Lil daddy you may come out better telling my “baybeh I got this trust me” and me falling back will be a breeze..only a silly little girl that needs a pimp not a man would allow you to say Bish chill I got this..LMAOFF..just thought I would point that out.

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this

when you two get comfy with each other, then that’s the time for the both of you to enjoy the food together, etc.

Angie - We will have to agree to disagree because I find that batty. If I enjoy food, I will enjoy it in his presence. Doesn’t mean I’m licking my plate! It’s a meal. ALWAYS be yourself.

So does that mean you don’t enjoy sex either until you get “comfy?” LOL

melo - Nunya. ;-)

By M.

April 8, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed

That’s what I was thinking. Maybe we are all dealing with different types of dating scenes and people in general. It’s good to embrace the differences. You probably have people out here and maybe on the blog using a dating theory that worked good for them way back in 1984 or somebody who hasn’t even been on a date in 2008 with someone new yet. So like you said some people got it right, some got it wrong. Time to go back to the basics.

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this

rell ladies if you want a smooth marriage allow your man or let me say trust him enough to lead you guys in the right direction I’m no idiot who can not think for myself..I do not need a leader….

Meloo you know me so well! LOL

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this

@Darrell congruo

By 6'1 & Luvin it (Don Dada)=Playin both sides

April 8, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this

Hello Good people A little off topic here. But speaking of test. I had two guys that I have recently started spending time with ask to use my car. Now I don’t have a Bentley coupe but I do have a really nice car (at least in my perspective). They didn’t ask me to run them up the street or would I take them somewhere. They ask to use my car. To me that is just like asking to use my toothbrush or wear my panties if I just met you. They both had their own cars. But for different reasons ask to use mines. I was wondering if this was test. Now I admit I am juicy. But I will not get juiced.

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this

kimmme…let be said. What it be gurl?

I don’t know if it was said but if/when i get a date we going to the car wash. The cars look like they’ve been sitting in a yellow chalk plant! I just came from outside it’s BEAUTIFUL temps, but e’rythang is yellow.

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 12:55 PM | Link to this

ared yep. we agree to disagree. you don’t have to be a smart azz. and you know i didn’t mean licking the plate. dang girl!

By QC

April 8, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

My brother Darrell is a great cook

Have a great evening bloggers….

By Binford2K8

April 8, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

Truth In my experience, if you say “let’s just meet for a coffee” or suggest something inexpensive, the tone of their voice and/or the expression on their face changes. You can tell they already think less of you.

A woman, at heart, wants to be wined and dined and shown the fancy as it were. The WOW FACTOR as it were.

Bu trust me, from here on in - I’ll be keepin the budget down.

By kimmie

April 8, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

AmRed - It’s all real simple, girl! It gets complicated when people try the little BS stunts, like the text and the “weeding out”. Be straight up and genuine with people and you will usually win out in the end. You’ll either find a gem or find out you just got a piece of dirt, but either way, you’ll find out!

I was so HOPING we would’nt get on the whole BIBLICAL SUBMISSION tip! Most men and women don’t understand it and take it completely out of context one way or another. I’ll lurk the rest of the day if we’re gonna beat that DEAD HORSE!LOL

By The Truth

April 8, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

Fellas, in life domination causes submission. If you come right and strong for the desired target she will submit. It’s her nature. If she doesn’t submit it’s because she doesn’t believe in you. No problem.

Nobody is everything to everyone. Submission isn’t her being less of a woman. It actually makes her more a woman. She’s not fighting with herself and thus not with you. Her whole spirit is at ease when she’s with you because she knows that you can take care of things that need to be handled. The thing is you have to have SOMETHING inside of you that she can see, feel, touch.

If you want a woman that will care for you in different ways it’s possible but it comes at a price. Lets quit bs’sing, money is a large part of it. You don’t have to be rich but you must handle your business. Hint: If you NEED her to survive you’ve lost the battle before it gets started.

First, raise yourself up. Look at your present situation and ask is this the best I can do. If so choose a woman that fits into that picture. If not up your game and hold on til you get to your new station to amke a selection.

It’s simple, become the man you’ve always dreamed of and there will always be women to follow you. Once you’ve dominated a woman once you’ll never go back to this whole 50/50 shyt. The glory is running your ship, sometimes through rough seas that make you question yourself and your crew. Those that make it through share a bond that is real hard to break.

I don’t need to ask a woman for permission to be a man. I am a man by every desciption of the word. The only thing I ask her is if I am the right man for her. She’ll let me know the answer in 100 ways.

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

I think the first step to the perfect date is catering to the interest of the other party if the date is my treat and I opt to go inexpensive. Assuming that we have actually talked before that first date that should be easy. And then you have to be creative and use resources you already have.

Some one name an interest a let me see what I can come up with.

By Jazzyone

April 8, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

Bin not all of us hon, just show me “you” not the rep. Over coffee, taking a stroll whatever Im more interested in the person at this point in life and I have to say ive always been this way. If I wanna up the game of the date its about a conversation and a meeting of the minds then we proceed on…it ain’t that serious for some us.

By Very Sexy

April 8, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this

abc You said a mouthful!!! You are SO RIGHT!!! Normally I just read from time to time and not comment but I had to applaud you on this one.

The roles you state are a bit in error. God created woman so that man wouldn’t be alone, He didn’t create man to be ‘head’ of woman. All people are required to submit to each other: husbands to wives, wives to husbands, friends to friends, everyone in their own way. People need to read the entire New Testament and take it as a whole, not just pick and choose this and that snatch of Paul’s letters for their own selfish and carnal purposes.

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

Aw..Angie, sorry sister. Didn’t mean to be a jerk. I just don’t like to see when folks are not themselves. But I understood your point.

kimmie - High five sister. I also believe it’s simple. Folks make it so hard on themselves!

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

6’1’ now see, are you taking the “juiced” comment out of context? Sista Cee is gonna make you sumtin to eat, a smoothine, wash your car and pray for ya.

By kimmie

April 8, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

Ceemee - I think I need to suggest the car wash as a next date! Mainly mine, because even though my car is black, it’s some weird shade now that I don’t like with the yellow dust on it!:)

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

Darrell and Truth ^5 well said-from both of you. muah

By Jazzyone

April 8, 2008 1:11 PM | Link to this

Truth Im not thrwoing shade but submission has nothing to do with domination..are you being serious right now? and in whos nature is it to be “dominated” over not mine..you can’t be serious..like I said that would work for a little girl that needs a pimp or maybe a dog or something or one with low self worth and esteem….not a grown a* woman. WOW but hey to each his own I guess.

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this

No technically man was not “created” to be head of woman because woman was not in existence at the time man was created.

But after the fact the new testament states Ephesians 5:23

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

Truth you’re rough around the edges, so some folks don’t get that about you. I still got your point.

By 6'1 & Luvin it (Don Dada)=Playin both sides

April 8, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

Cee How would you feel if we went on a date on monday and I ask you to use your car on wednesday?

By Got that?

April 8, 2008 1:18 PM | Link to this

Why would “Anna” be offended if she was interested in a second date? It sounds like she had an culture based expectation of him to pay and was confronted with his straightforward approach, which conflicted with her belief of how things should go. She needs to realize that reality and fantasy are always at odds with each other. Most people date in a fantasy world and then act surprised with reality smacks them and rocks them back to their senses. If she wants to date him, then she’s going to have to step up, be an adult, and be willing to go for what she wants, not expecting someone else to give her something.

By kimmie

April 8, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this

Truth - Okay, I may have to let you out of the doghouse after that outstanding 1:04 post. Some may have a problem with words such as sumission and domination, but I understand the context and intent. Its nothing more attractive than a MAN who knows how to BE A MAN and HANDLE HIS BUSINESS, without being a bully or a brut to his LADY!

By Binford2K8

April 8, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

Jazzy Here, just let me undo this trenchcoat real quick so I can show you the true ME

;p

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 1:25 PM | Link to this

Got that? it’s not attractive for a dude to call us and say “i would love a 2nd date, and btw you’re paying”. i doubt that you would appreciate that. let her offer on her own. she will come around because the chemistry is there already.

By Tazzee

April 8, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

Afternoon folks! 252 comments already so I’m not going to try to read all of them before I comment.

I have no problem with the Quid Pro Quo approach, however I don’t like his delivery. If she likes him, she should take him out. I can understand a man’s frustration because dating can be expensive. He’s just stating what he wants - like I said, his delivery sucked and she should proceed with caution.

If I like a guy, at the end of the first date - after I’ve offered to leave the tip and he says no - I always say ‘then you’ll have to let me treat you the next time’ He knows I would like to see him again and he knows that I’m not going out with him for a free meal. Now when I said that to my sweetie he made it plain that he would not allow me to treat him, but the offer was on the table.

Now let me see who’s fussing who today.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

Truth

Gotta disagree, my brother. If anythinig, domination may result in compliance, but not submission. One is derived by force, whereas, the other is derived by choice. Which reminds me of something Mahatma Ghandi once said when urging his followers to civily disobey the unjust laws being imposed upon them by Great Britain:

“In the end, they will have my dead body. Not my obedience.”

If you have to “make” someone do something, what have you really gained? What you want is for them to want to follow you, right, not be forced to? When it comes to biblical submission, what the husband desires is a volitional response from his wife, not forced acquiescence.

By Jazzyone

April 8, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

Bin Okay! :-)) now we getting somewhere..:-PP

By Blow Me a.k.a ROOKIE Cookie

April 8, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

Yeah everyone I think it’s safe to say we can shut this blog down a few hours early. After Truth a.k.a …stink pot 1:04pm post it’s a wrap. I can not agree or disagree with what’s real and right. I will gracefully bow out the game.

Truth Don’t think I am gettin soft on you. You’re still are the STINK Pot grouch I have learned to love to hate! lmao!!!

By Very Sexy

April 8, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this

Truth I see your point. A lot of brother take being submissive out of content just because I won’t allow you to control me don’t mean I am not submissive or because I may have a different POV. I have no problem being submissive to my man in fact I want to. We should be submissive to one another. Some men keep bashing a woman about being submissive because they have low self-esteem problems or they still dealing with old bagges from a previous fail relationship if truth be told.

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this

6’1’ don’t get me wrong. Gurl i understand. NO, no one is getting my ho’ ride after a first date. I don’t believe they/he tried it like that.

By 6'1 & Luvin it (Don Dada)=Playin both sides

April 8, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

Cee Not the five series. Girl I couldn’t believe it. He hasn’t called since. I had a good time with him too. But dayuum dawg. I don’t know you like that Boo-Boo!

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

Truth - I must also give you a “standing o” for your 1:04. Great post man.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

Very Sexy

“because I won’t allow you to control me…”

Well..well..well…Speaking of taking things out of context, submission has absolutely nothing to do with control, so for you to assume that a man who wants a submissive wife wants someone he can control is wrong. The two (‘submission’ and ‘control’) do not mean the same thing! Garsh! LOL!

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

If a man is a true leader he will have no need to be domineering. He who holds the light (idea, working plan) leads the way.

Picture it like this, you are in a dark cave and someone strikes a match and holds it in the air. All focus will go to that light. As that light moves the pack will follow. Now if you got an old rusty dude in the back of the cave in the dark talking about hey yall better follow me, He will be laughed to shame because the people will say no man the light is over here.

If a man holds his position right he will have the light.

By The Melo(the matchmaker)

April 8, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

Truth , i dnt no why( or have u) u and Ared have not met yet, at least for a 1st date..i think u 2 can make a good couple.I can organize that if u need me to Truth. Smeone on the blog can hook that up for us bro…let me knw tho(we need a wman in that 1/2 a mill$ house of urs) and i can testify, she is a good wman and needs a strong man like u.

By Raqi

April 8, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

In my situation I had a candle and he had a lamp…now we jointly carry a torch. But he is stronger than I so most of the weight rest on him. But we still walk together.

By Blow Me a.k.a ROOKIE Cookie

April 8, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

Darrell/Truth As much i LOVE to hate on truth. I can not disagree with what he has said. I think you taking it’s post wayyyyyy out of context. He’s not physically making you want to do it. You WANT too. It’s amazing how 2 ppl read something totally different out of the same text. That post was 100% right!!

By The Melo(the matchmaker)

April 8, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

Truth - I must also give you a “standing o” for your 1:04. Great post man. And i hadnt even seen that….great minds like melos..as i smh!! The wman is already in awe of u bro..oops, i dnt wanna spook this deal.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 1:52 PM | Link to this

Kimmie

“I was so HOPING we would’nt get on the whole BIBLICAL SUBMISSION tip! Most men and women don’t understand it and take it completely out of context one way or another. I’ll lurk the rest of the day if we’re gonna beat that DEAD HORSE!LOL”

I’m beginning to understand now what you meant by that. LOL!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

Blow My response to Truth was in regards only to the first sentence of his post, not the entire post, which is why I made the effort to quote which part of his post I was commenting on.

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this

melo - Why are folks always trying to fix me up or claim I have sexual tension with these “roody poots” on the blog? LOL

Can’t folks just enjoy the time online without having to take stuff offline?

By Demi

April 8, 2008 1:59 PM | Link to this

Jazzyone Demigod is a jerk!! You know how I love my black women.

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this

The wman is already in awe of u bro

melo - Pligga nease! How many other folks gave him props for his 1:04? You are really reaching man!

By Alvin

April 8, 2008 2:01 PM | Link to this

Demi, you one a$$ kissing little dude!!

I hate weak black dudes

By abc

April 8, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this

It’s plainly not about domination.

But, I also see the near pointlessness of the discussion. Even Southern churches do quite a disservice by their own misinterpretations. I’ve had a couple Baptists come visit my house lately, quite adamant in their mistaken viewpoints. What do you tell them? “Tea, water, diet coke?” ha!

By Les Demigod33

April 8, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

Demi dude, keep my name out of your mouth…yo punk a$$

Jazzy, I blame Alvin for the slip up…you know how he is.

By Very Sexy

April 8, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

Darrell Let me interpet what I said * Some man* ( not all) thinks that submission is a part of controling a woman meaning: telling her (what, when, where and How to do thing)! I want to be submissive to my man, I agreed with truth because when a woman is feeling you, you don’t have to ask her will she submit to you because she will do it naturally again if she is feeling you. smile

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this

Truth My apologies, man, if I misinterpreted what you were saying in the comment I made earlier, but I attempted to stay true to how I understood the one sentence I was commenting on.

That said, I’m outta here. Got meetings the rest of the afternoon. Ya’ll be good and, fellas, don’t go ‘round “controling” your woman, alright? LOL!

By demi

April 8, 2008 2:07 PM | Link to this

@Alvin Yo DADDY!!!

@Les Demigod Yo whole family!!

Demi is now speaking in tongue and h0e bathing in Bishop long’s office, using holy water

By Blow Me a.k.a ROOKIE Cookie

April 8, 2008 2:07 PM | Link to this

Melo I would not do that to my worst enemy. Hook Truth up with Ared. Nah….Can’t see it.

lmao! Honestly, though I have thought about that. They seem like they would make a decent couple. The both just need to be opening and understanding. Both of them ya know have big EGOS…….that’s the only thing I can see. I know cause I have one as well. lmao!

Truth Does have a good potential on being a great man to a lucky or unlucky woman..just depending on whether or not he can get his Halitosis fixed!!! lmao!

By Unknown

April 8, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed

Melo was giving you a compliment. :)

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this

Raqi said with wisdom. That is what this principle is about- walking together, dealing with what life throws at us together. This concept is not about control, it is about understanding each other…primarily the ATTITUDES we should have in marriage. It was necessary for God to say these things so that women and men can understand what is expected of them in marriage.

During this past weekend I witnessed couples that were marry well over 40 and 50 years and the resounding message was all about praying and using the word as their foundation. None of those couples proclaimed their marriages to be without blemish. In fact they said the rough roads made them closer, and showed them the importance of prayer and understanding their roles in the marriage.

As I said earlier I did not mean to insight anger, but to enlighten. Everyone have a blessed day. Talk with you tomorrow.

By Got that?

April 8, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this

Angie, I got your point, but what your argument states is in your view attractiveness is related to finances. What is not known is the true content of the text message. How do we know if he didn’t bring up the subject on the first date? There are a lot of assumptions being made. But, here’s the deal. She was offended. That indicates that she had an expectation that was unfulfilled. She needs to sort out her intentions and be just as straightforward with him as he was with her. Like I said earlier, until she stops operating in a dating fantasy world, she’s going to keep getting derailed by minor stuff. After all, if you enjoy the person’s company, who cares about who takes care of the bill? If there is ever a concern about the financial aspect of anything, then one must look at their own relationship to money, the level of importance they place on money, and why it’s more important than their relationship with people.

By DreamsMaterialize

April 8, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

Why all the hype over submission? Is there anyone on here who would say that they would NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER (said like Chris Tucker in Friday) sumbit to anyone in any situation?

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

Unknown - Of course he was. Even still, so what?! LOL

By The Melo

April 8, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

Why are folks always trying to fix me up or claim I have sexual tension with these “roody poots” on the blog Not me Ared..when i see smething good(or bad for that matter), i say it and dnt mind who else did.That is the context of what i said,nothing more, nothing less.Im sure u dnt mind meeting a good man, no matter the circumstances(hpefully they will be good) and not trying to over reach.

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

Got that? gotcha. his first mistake was the text message. we know that it’s sometimes difficult to know the persons mood, etc. when sending that sort of message. if she called him after receiving the message and questioned him on it, i sense miscommunication and a bad stink in the air sort of speak. just not a good start, that’s all.

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this

melo - There are some good men on this blog. There are also some old men and some despereate househusbands too. (jokes people, jokes).

By Very Sexy

April 8, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

Darrell You guys were both saying the same thing, however Truth broke it down a lot better. I guess his statement reminded me of my man.

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this

darrell you wasnt alone wit how you read Truth. he one domineering cuz! i would have a hard time submitting to the law of the house he laid down.

theTruth a ‘fo sho’ negro dont got to say he the head…. its understood. a ‘for show’ negro has to lay it out and explain it and dissertate ‘round the mulberry bush while beating his chest and periodically howling….. see your 104 post

…… and what woman needs a near shipwreck experience to know that the man they done chose is a capable captain?? huh?

you really believe that a woman…. a WOMAN has to be dominated one time before she of her own volition (using one of darrells favorite words) submits to your direction?? niggro please!

what we need is for you to one time show-n-prove. i know my position, i know how to play my position… what we waiting on is for you to prove you know yours. and that does not come wit you turning your attention to me and putting me in my place, or as you say ‘dominating me one time’?

you and these blog broads made for each other…. fo real tho

By Got that?

April 8, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this

Angie, I get your disdain for the text message. However, look at it like this, technology changes what is acceptable. There was a time when breaking up with someone using any other means than face-to-face was socially unacceptable. Now, people break up via email, fax, telephone, etc. That’s what happens when there are advances in technology. I’m sure you know people who do internet dating. Remember when that wasn’t acceptable less than 10 years ago? What’s socially unacceptable today, will be acceptable tomorrow. Some are just ahead of the curve. Someone’s use of technology really doesn’t say anything about them as a person. You just might miss out on something wonderful because it doesn’t match your view. There’s reality and then there’s your view of it. No two views will ever be identical.

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

Truth Submission isn’t her being less of a woman. It actually makes her more a woman. She’s not fighting with herself and thus not with you. I see submissiveness as a form of weakness and only the strong survive in this world! I can not stand weak people. They get trampled! I would be fighting myself if I tried to be submissive and therefore would never be happy! That would be being untrue to myself. That’s like saying slaves liked to be slaves! I will fight to the death first!

By demi

April 8, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

you and these blog broads made for each other

DASv LOL, never mine you’re one of the coolest lady to chill with, you can be mean, LOL.

By demi

April 8, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

you and these blog broads made for each other

DASv LOL, never mine you’re one of the coolest lady to chill with, you can be mean, LOL.

By demi

April 8, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

you and these blog broads made for each other

DASv LOL, never mine you’re one of the coolest lady to chill with, you can be mean, LOL.

By Rell

April 8, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

@as sred…you got dem jokes today i see…deseperate huh..is that what you think…lol..ok lil lady…lol

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

DEMI you know imma sweet woman! i aint trynna be mean….i just cannot stand pandering to nonsense. LOL and from a such a good-lookin bald man like Truth….. reading his mess got me pinching myself trynna figure out if im in some parallel, matrix world where shyt straight-up fake but flies cause it looks good and sounds good to everyone that chose the blue pill. smh

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

and what classifies one as a blog broad, exactly?

By m'karyl

April 8, 2008 2:55 PM | Link to this

lawdy, lawdy, my lawdy. Gets dese chilluns ta jawin’ bout gender-placing and subordination vs domination, whut de’ Bible be sayin’ and setch…I guess dat wese always gonna batin’ bout a man place, a woman place ta’ de man. But I do declare-from 8 chromosomes (female) to 7 (male)-do dey math…

By The Melo

April 8, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

Alvin, if u get anywhere near DasV ima bring my rifle to u bro..quit!

By Jazzyone

April 8, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

Okay DasV you and truth aren’t in love anymore cause um er you were the deacons right hand man a month ago…LOL

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

Rell - Hush boo.

WiseDiva - That remark got crickets for a reason. LOL.

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

theMelo LOL… cant you see i got this??… Demi stutterin already. LOL!

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 3:12 PM | Link to this

LOL @ m’karyl

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this

m’karyl Can you please translate to the Yankee? LOL

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this

Demi, who are you calling blog broad. You guys would make anyone afraid to date in the ATL. I think most of you forgot about just going out w/someone without all this bshyt attached to it. Man, go out sometimes w/out your dang blackberry, with your IPhone. Man get back to the basics of asking questions, laughing at something you said stupidly, calling the person to let them you got home safe without it being contrived to mean something else. All of you scare me.

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

its whaeva you want it classified as, lady-n-red

jazzyONE he wasnt on no nonsense a month ago. LOL dont tell me you agree with his 104?? lawd wha is the world comin to? LOL

By demi

April 8, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

Staceye that’s not true, if a real dude comes along; it is very difficult for even a strong woman to resist his pull.

I am not bragging on myself…You’ve met me so my character speaks for itself…you just submitted yourself to characterless dudes in the past.

I date mostly strong mature women and I would never force, make, or tell them to change who they are just for me. They see me for who I am and I see them for who they are. If the chemistry is there, things will follow their natural order. My friendship with women is the same way.

But first I had to work on me and building myself up.

Just recognize a weak dude for what he is and bounce

You are too good of a woman to shut off men forever..forever ever..ever ever, LOL.

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

oh no, Sexyleggs, the blog broads gem was dropped by your girl Das from Venus

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs - I knew the word “broad” would set off your radar. However, Demi is not the one spouting such foolishness. That came from someone claiming the same gender as you.

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

Demi you just submitted yourself to characterless dudes in the past. No I did not submit to those dudes either. Now have I made some decisions against my better judegement trying to make a guy happy, yes. But never submitted! I have never been the type to take orders..hence the reason I never did military, sororites (I heard some stories that detered me from pledging). I like to be the lead, even in ballroom dancing it was hard for me because the male partner has to lead. But I know if he is the base then he has to determine the next move or I will trip. But in life..not so much the follower.

By m'karyl

April 8, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

Staceye 8 minus 1 = 7-LOL

SexyLeggs

And why did I stop dating in the ATL many years ago!??!?? Games like ppl made from Milton-Bradley, Mattel and such…“when the working day is done girls just want to have fun, girls just want to have fun… Yep, just too much bull manure and such…

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

yea, sexyLeggs tha be me wit the blog broads comment. and imma join you in the corner…. cause im scared too, cause the craziest unspoken blog rule is you have to agree with everything someone you respect says….

come’on, ppl. if rell had used the word dominate any fashion in one of his post [ie, i dominated the game for time the bell was rung], yall (you) wouldve been aaaallll ova him. stop playin

you want a definition?? here ya go: blog broad = flaky bytches

one thing i can say bout 2Es she is consistent wit her crazy. LOL

By demi

April 8, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

Melo, DasV is a G…she have her boy firing BB guns at my a$$, if I get 9k feet within her personal space!! LOL

Sexy you owe me a home cook meal, that was DasV not me…I just say Bish and take whatever whooping Wise or Ms.Eye put on me.

Ms.Eye, I will take the 6 foot whip…I am in a mood for pain with a happy endings

By kimmie

April 8, 2008 3:26 PM | Link to this

Leggs AMEN SISTER on you 3:13!! That’s what I was trying to say earlier. Cut the BS and be straight up. Someone posted earlier about advances in technology. Technology can advance all it wants to, but sooner or later everyone has to go back to the basics. That means, after you’ve lazily sent a text or email that can be construed a thousand different ways, you’re still gonna have to call or see that person and explain exactly what you meant. Wasted time and opportunity!!

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

how’s this definition

retarded = one that consistently shows their retarded ways with nonsensical musings and sac riding. I like that one, and that isn’t so gender specific, much better, no?

By AmazonRed

April 8, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

Lawd, some folks really can not see the forrest from the trees. Are folks really getting caught up on certain words rather than overall sentiment? LOL. Good grief.

Y’all have a good one.

By M.

April 8, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs

As I mentioned with my 12:44 post, time to get back to the basics.

I leave the blog for a little bit and come back and its chaos!!

By m'karyl

April 8, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

Staceye 8 minus 1 = 7-LOL

SexyLeggs

And why did I stop dating in the ATL many years ago!??!?? Games like ppl made from Milton-Bradley, Mattel and such…“when the working day is done girls just want to have fun, girls just want to have fun… Yep, just too much bull manure and such…

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

Demi you are so bad! LOL

DasV I gotta stand up for what I believe in no matter if others do not agree! LOL

By Angie aka B

April 8, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this

That means, after you’ve lazily sent a text or email that can be construed a thousand different ways, you’re still gonna have to call or see that person and explain exactly what you meant. Wasted time and opportunity!!

thanks. you said that better than i. unfortunately, we have to include this topic in our convos when meeting ppl. me, love text messages. but the next person may hate them. then you’re wondering why you never got a response back. we should never assume this technology stuff is ok with everyone.

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

DasV, I’m plucking you on the forehead for using the word “broad”. Don’t know why that word stings, but it does. It just makes a woman seem less than a woman!

Truth/ARed/Staceye/ForReal/Melo/Rell/and you JazzyOne, you guys take the game of semantics to a whole new level. I realize we can’t go entirely back to the basics, but a date w/o all of the mental (what is really gone on here, what is (s)he really trying to say, she’s been on that phone for 3.2 mins) can be so exhilirating. Sometimes ppl, the agenda is just to go out and have fun and say good-night at the end of the evening.

By demi

April 8, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

Staceye all the same bay…Here is a blog hugg…I agree to disagree.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

April 8, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this

Very Sexy Sorry I’m late with this, but I just wanted to say thanks for explaining in your 2:04. :-) By the way, if you and your man are at his place chillin’ after a long drive back from hanging out all afternoon at the Mall of Georgia and he wanted to watch a basketball game on TV instead of a movie, would you consider that to be “controlling” on his part? Hmmmm?

By m'karyl

April 8, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this

Lawd, i just did an online test that shows various images of unarmed or armed white and balck men. The aim is to quickly assess the image and then decide whether to shoot or holster your gun. THe study indicates that most ppl are more apt to shoot at a image of a black man (armed or unarmed) quicker than the image of a white man (armed or unarmed). Hell, I shot more unarmed white men than black…hey, never can tell if it is a cellphone or a gun he be holdin’-ha, ha

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this

i’uno… that ‘sac ridin’ could be gender specific…. but whaeva. LOL

maybe theTruth is gonna come back from his long silence and let us all know what he took that to mean. and no doubt there will be some ‘blog broads’(by your definition and mines) to cosign. sigh

2Es i aint madatcha for either! trust.

clearly its not a matter of semantics (a tree) i got a problem wit the whole dayum forrest on this one ———>Once you’ve dominated a woman once you’ll never go back to this whole 50/50 shyt

…. lawd you got me misspelling ‘forest’…. lemme get up from off this blog… cause bad association etc etc etc …..

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

m’karyl is that test online? I want to take it.

By The Melo

April 8, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

but a date w/o all of the mental (what is really gone on here, what is (s)he really trying to say, she’s been on that phone for 3.2 mins) can be so exhilirating Agree..but a man is alwayz gonna be mental on ur moves coz he may miss smething u be saying sublim(u knw when u shake ur thang and move ur waist next to mines..rubbing ur rack next to my chest) I be asking myself,is it the patron i boght her or what?)If i miss that and suppose u wanted to be hit but were too shy to say it, and i tell my boys..they be laughing at me for missing such a give away. Im waiting on ur invite tho to see if u are a mental playa!!

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this

Ok, who said this Once you’ve dominated a woman once you’ll never go back to this whole 50/50 shyt…picture George Jefferson’s mother coming after YOU with her pocketbook…goodness gracious what a crock!

By kimmie

April 8, 2008 4:01 PM | Link to this

Leggs - I can’t stand broad either. And until today, never heard a woman use it to describe another woman.

By mytwocents

April 8, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

Well Alrighty Then! The Truth, you’re clearly dominant even when you step away… So I’ve been thinkin- your affinity for dominance can be put to good use. Cesar Milan(?) the Dog Whisperer is more popular than ever & as I caught up w/ one of my guilty pleasure ‘Real Housewives of New York City” I saw that they brought in an expert to tame their unruly pup. Don’t you see - celebrity dog training could make US a fortune! As your publicist I’d need 20%, cool? D@mn the real estate game for now. Just waiting on the green light before sending out your 8x10 glossy…

Y’all went from Sizzler to Sike to Sac Ridin’… Breathe already, people =)

By demi

April 8, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

Since some of the blog LADIES are forming rallys around Demi, be sure to invite some of y’all lesbian girlfriends to.

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

Melo, I’m pretty sure whoever you ask out on a date you’ll know from the get go whether this person is shy or not. One of the reasons for asking her out. Right! Shy in terms may be submissive, or outspoken in terms of being able to verbally cut your balls off…which is your preference.

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

I’d like to know how you excluded yourself out of all the other females, by your definition, or any definition really. Since when does agreeing or disagreeing make someone flaky anyway? I promised myself I would only address you on as needed basis, though, so that’s what I get.

m’karyl, that reminds me of the Harvard (I think?) test that I blogged about once, the Implicit Association Test

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 4:11 PM | Link to this

mental playa im lovin it theMELO!!

By demi

April 8, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

m’karyl it is always good to read you, LOL

By The Melo

April 8, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this

what does broad and flaky mean?..excuse me if u think im mentally challenged(trying to understand why broad is so detesteable to sme here)thank u very much for ur eloquent elucidations in advance. So sexxy, u saying when we go out, lets just enjoy without thinking about, if,could,would,possibly etc.let the chips fall where they may, if u give me a good nite kiss, so be it..right?

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

Demi, you buy the groceries and I’ll cook them!

By IslandGirl

April 8, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

Wise ….. peeped back in to seeing what you guys were talking about. 20/20 (I think that’s the show on ABC) has a series they’re playing called, “What would you Do”. The first episode showed how differently people react to certain situations based on race, i.e. (a group of black kids vandalizing a car –vs- a group of white kids vandalizing a car. Guess which group was reported more times to the police even though they committed the same offense). The mentioned test reminds me of this series…you guys should check it out on Tuesday nights on ABC.

Demi I love your character. muah

By kimmie

April 8, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

mytwocents - I love Real Housewives of NYC too! Did you watch Real Housewives of Orange County? If so, which do you like best? I think I like the CA group best because they are a LITTLE more down-to-earth. The NYC group puts on too many airs for me. Like all the CA group’s kids have issues and are more interesting to watch. The kids of the NYC group are just “perfect”, except for the girl that went to the weight-loss camp. I especially can’t stand the super-skinny blond with the serial-killer looking husband and the french-speaking nanny! Talk about joined at the hip - he didn’t even want her to go to the lunch with the other ladies without him! The other husbands look like their in the mafia or something!

By demi

April 8, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs ok what type of chiken would you like for my to pick up: legs, thighs or breast..And I will pick up some Colt .45 as well.

Sexy is now beating Demi down to the white meat with a Colt .44

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

I think I saw something on their morning show about it or similar - they had actors in different scenarios. It was interesting to see how they responded to an interracial couple arguing loudly, with the man escalating his temper - they had White man/black woman and black man/white woman.

By The Melo

April 8, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

which is your preference i had missed that Sexxy, i prefer she simulate cutting my balls off wit her mouf and front teeth and tongue!!! sme tell me its the nearest to heaven a man can ever feel.

By The Truth

April 8, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

What did I miss?

Actually my post was supposed to be blacked out for the women. That was for the menfolks.

Ladies, if you have to TRY to submit you’re not. It’s just a feeling that there’s no more need to fight. You’re home. It’s that feeling you ladies have been looking for all your life.

Dudes are scared to have a woman submit because then he has responsibilties. He must now take care of what is his. His wife, kids, family. And we all know that not many cats want to do that.

Don’t get caught up in the words domination/submission. Their insignificant. It’s the role that’s important. A better way to say it is you wouldn’t want to date someone that’s less than you are.

Staceye submission isn’t about weakness or slavery. It’s an abscence of fight. I hope for you more than anyone you find a place you call home. Then you’ll realize that the fight you’re fighting doesn’t need to be fought. You deserve more. Can I get another hug? LOL

Das what are you all fired up in here for? We laugh and joke and pass alot funnies around but on the real I’ve always said men have dropped the ball on this thing. We got cats out there asking women is it ok to be a man. WTF??? Now chicks have been sporting fake balls so long they thing they’re real. Go lay down, I got this.

Tatas you trying to pimp me? LOL Actually i’ve been doing a little dogwork on the side. I’m not bad if I do say so myself. FYI, all Cesar’s dogs are spayed/nuetered. Check for nuts next time you watch that show. None. He is a bad dude on the psychology side tho. And the best I can do is 10%

Who’s a blog broad? ( The Truth now looking around)

By demi

April 8, 2008 4:32 PM | Link to this

IslandGirl why thankyou my pretty sister from another island, LOL.

Melo LOL, you are wild!!! You have me rolling over here.

By kimmie

April 8, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this

melo - To your mental playa post - when you gonna grow up and quit worring about your boys laughing at you? LOL

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this

Island Girl, I look at that show every Tuesday. I’m the type that would step in.

Melo, what I’m saying is just go out with one thing on the agenda and that is to have a good time. That in and of itself lends to learing about a person because personalities, likes and dislikes are revealed in conversation. Of course there’s mental thoughts, but not to the point where they dominate the simplicity of a nice date. All the psychoanalyzing is getting in the way.

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 4:33 PM | Link to this

Since when does agreeing or disagreeing make someone flaky anyway? when what youve said to date contradicts the post you cosigning.

and i know bout dem promises to self… thats why at first all you gots was crickets

By Blow Me a.k.a ROOKIE Cookie

April 8, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this

Another ^^5 to the man with the stinky breath Truth….lol. Great post!

By Poppa Grande

April 8, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

I know I’m all late but here my views on topic….

I understands Dude’s concern; however, I think that he should look more at himself than the female.

If he is attracting women that use him for free food and entertainment, then he should ask himself why.

I agree with the posters that his method is lazy. Just pay attention to the female and she will let him know if she is into him.

It doesn’t have to be expensive. If show that you like to go to expensive places, you will attract women that like like to go to expensive places.

I listened to the wife early on and discovered that she loves breakfast food. IHOP, Orignal Pancake House, and Thumbs Up Cafe are not that expensive.

Heck, our very first date was at Cold Stone Creamery (neither of us like coffee). Next, was Original Pancake House and then went to the movies third. Therefore, we were our own entertainment on the first date.

On date four, she treated me to a movie at the Fox Theatre during their summer series and a dinner a Agnes and Muriels. (So it came in time.)

Dude is just lazy and just looking for a reason to disqualify a chick.

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

…It’s just a feeling…no more need to fight. You’re home….” **^5

By Wise Diva

April 8, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this

Das V, I promised myself not to address any conflict between the two of us because it would be unmatched. That would be one lopsided victory for me because I would feel no satisfaction in slamming you. If anything, I would feel guilty, kind of like smacking an insolent five-year-old in the face. I will stay in my lane, you stay in yours, and we are one big happy blog fam, ok pumpkin? :)

By demi

April 8, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

Just what we neet a real cat fight.

now calling For Real for combo on door mark “Cams & Vids Storage”

By kimmie

April 8, 2008 4:46 PM | Link to this

Poppa - Great post. I believe it really is just that simple.

By the way, I love Thumb’s Up!

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this

back now…had to go get snacks…

kimmie we’re gonna have a ghetto fied car wash! 1) to raise money for that cell phone bill we paying everytime we fill up @ the pumb! 2) so we have a reason to wear to small tanks & too small shorts with big ole hair styles for the fun of it.

Staceye have you heard anything about when we’re going to get sundresses w/2? I’m ready! I think kimmie coming with us we got to get our UNIFORMS! LOL

What’s yellow Mytwocents? Hey M’karyl!

Why we so stone face today? Wish i could treat everyone in the blog to smoothies, and some good food. It’s so nice out.

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

theTruth ROTFLOL. yea. aight. imma lay down…LOL cause my job is done wit these blog broads.

we started off the morning wit the blog broads huffin at a text msg that said for she to pay the bill…. classic example of domination move they was up in arms at his manner, at his approach. most said they wouldnt have nuttin to do wit him no mo’.

i call you on your domination comment and then I catch grief from them… wtf! mayne, i am smh cause then they act crazy and ask ‘whats flaky bout that?’

you said it, but he did it. i guess thats where im at a lost.

i know we on the same page (you got mail btw) …and i agree wit you on the mens slipping, but as a woman i cant speak to that, i can only speak to my fellow blog broads who slippin themselves…. semantics is nothing in the end. its the act of submission and act of leadership thats the real deal. im witchu and yo dogs all the way on dat dere.

By Poppa Grande

April 8, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

I just believe that being as direct as he is, allows the other person to directly lie to his face.

Most females that I know love to talk. Chatty Patties are everywhere. They will tell you want they want.

By Staceye

April 8, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

Truth no fight..is boring to me…I might as well lay down and die! LOL I refuse to be a doormat or led! I think that is why I love being single..nobody to try to make me do what I do not want to or get on my nerves. Never having to share anything or talking a decision over is the best for me. My money is mine..my time is mine so my sanity is mine! I think I am such a loner that I like being social outside but at home I do not wish to talk to anybody. It’s like kids…I like to babysit..meaning I can give the id back to it’s parents when they begin to get on my nerves and movve on with my happy life. So being a social butterfly when I choose to go out is great. Sp I can come home and ignore the wordld! LOL

By kimmie

April 8, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

Cemee - Ghetto-Fabulous!!!

By DreamsMaterialize

April 8, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

Ok, I don’t know about broads and flakes, but I do know that it’s beautiful outside right now. Who want to join me for some Cold Stone? It’s even under $20! And if your lactase production is on the low side, I’ll even spring for the Lactaid pills. lol

By DASvenus

April 8, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this

you cant be serious and aint no one in your lane, cause we are definitely not goin in the same direction, lil mama.

By Cemeeli

April 8, 2008 5:03 PM | Link to this

Everyone go enjoy some patio dining tonight!

The ones w/allergies…um…Ruby Tuesday maybe…

By SexyLeggs

April 8, 2008 5:08 PM | Link to this

Good night!

Stay forever watchful!