Misadventures in Atlanta

By SexyCanI

March 28, 2008 8:20 AM | Link to this

I’m running late with breakfast. Gonna help GaMan out this morning. BRB.

By SeanJohnson3000

March 28, 2008 8:21 AM | Link to this

Morning….Check This out

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 8:24 AM | Link to this

Morning All!!! TGIF let’s get it!

By GaMan

March 28, 2008 8:25 AM | Link to this

Fried Bolgna Sammichs,Oatmeal,Fresh Fruits, Muffins,Fruit Loops,2% Milk,OJ,Apple Juice,Pancakes

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 8:28 AM | Link to this

Slim get that Friday brunch rolling…lol

By GaMan

March 28, 2008 8:28 AM | Link to this

Hhhhm I really don’t think you can count it against a person. In today’s world…

If you want a new Car…trade for it

If you want a new job…trade for it

If you want a new spouse….thats right trade for it

Back in the days of Big MaMa…people worked things out…now it is *I found out he/she (Put whatever you want to here) and now i am divorcing…I am single again

then the reality of Singleness hits…

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st.

March 28, 2008 8:37 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All

SJ3000 Don’t start that mess this early in the morning. It’s too early for that mess. I think some of it has some truth. It does not apply to me so it doesn’t bother me. Did you go to see Rick Ross?

Multiple spouses…wow. Dudes really do that..getting them to the ALTER one time is good enough. If I met a dude who has been married multiple times, I would think he was crazy and lacking something. Men usually are not quick to continuiosly run to the alter. That guy would SCREAM something is wrong to me.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 8:37 AM | Link to this

“Would you be concerned if you discovered your date has been married multiple times?”

I think I’d be more concerned with a woman whom I discovered had multiple personalities than multiple marriages.

By SexyCanI

March 28, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this

If you don’t want GaMan’s wack fried Bolgna, I’m serving up Almond Omelets, Apricot Omelets, Asparagus Omelets, Egg Omelets, and Bacon or Sausage Omelets. Enjoy

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

March 28, 2008 8:47 AM | Link to this

Its Friday, Its Friday, its the end of the week, its the last day….. Can ya’ll tell I am HAPPY its Friday!! LOL :o) TGIF ya’ll.

Wise Diva I had a guy tell me when I was 24 that b/c I didnt have a child that I was selfish. Mind you I didnt have a husband either but his concern was I didnt have a kid. I think guys like that are crazy, douche bag is a compliment.

Hey Lady J, how’s it going.

GAMan you are getting better….

BRB…need a pepsi b4 GAMan tries to give me bubble guts

By SlimOne

March 28, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

TGIF!

To be honest, I get more cautious when I meet a dude that’s even been divorced only once. It just seems that now men whom have been married once feel like, Well I’ve done it and I don’t have a need to do it again. I don’t if they are just bitter or just not wanting to set themselves up for Lock Down again. So to meet a guy who has more than one under their belt would raise even more of a red flag…especially if they state it was all 3 wives fault. Naw bruh, it might just be you.

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 8:55 AM | Link to this

What it do Mo…SexyCanI that is a different breakfast for this beautiful Friday morning! Thanks Chica!

By QC

March 28, 2008 8:55 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers I hope you all have a great day/weekend!

QC has assorted muffins & juice for everyone..ENJOY

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 8:58 AM | Link to this

Good morning All

Multiple marriages? Isn’t that the wave of the future? I know countless of people whose been married multiple times. Divorce has been made so easy to obtain now. I see ads where you can get a divorce for the low low and do it yourself. go figure!

I’ve dated men who has been married a couple of times. It didn’t bother me as much since I knew I was aiming at being wife number 3.

By Kym

March 28, 2008 8:58 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

If at first you dont succeed try try again.

What do you think? If a person has had multiple marriages, does it make them undateable? No

Would you date them with caution?

The only caution I would have is that they have come to a understanding with their ex-spouses in regards to support for children. An the emotional fall out of divorce otherwise caution is in the wind..I am a new person in his life so we start from scratch.

Isn’t it possible they are just the type that fell in love too fast? The possiblities are endless.

Bad choices, pressure, knocked someone up, someone said they were knocked, well it was a good idea at the time. The list goes on and on.

How many ex-spouses are you cool with your potential mate having?

Never really thought about it..that kind of falls in line with saying they have had XYZ number of sexual partners. I have dated a guy with what two babies mama’s and a ex-wife.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this

Ya’ll are killin’ me with all these virtual breakfasts. What’s up with that?! LOL! Morning, QC (a.k.a. Waitin’ on 5ive). (Can’t wait to get my buddies tomorrow!) :-)

By SexyCanI

March 28, 2008 9:03 AM | Link to this

Lady J Anytime and YW. My dad is a chef. Anyone want seconds?

By The Truth

March 28, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

SjI checked that out. Partly right but alot of talk too. She did have some nice lips tho. LOL

The Truth now walking over to CanI’s breakfast while turning away from Gaman’s.

On topic: Having been divorced once I never desired to be a multiple offender. I’d look twice at a woman that’s gone thru 1 to many divorces and the same applies to me. I’ve seen folks that are like nike and “just do it” but that’s not my thing. I say take at least 30 years between marriages. I’m starting a “30 year break ” movement”. Whose with me? ( The Truth now standing at an empty podium)

By SexyCanI

March 28, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this

Ok. Y’all please take heed to the sign listed above the door: I have the right to refuse service to all haters!

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Happy Friday to everyone. I’m excited for the weekend.

Well, I haven’t met a guy in the dating world that’s been married multiple times.

I would most definitely date a divorced guy. If he’s been married, understood the restrictions on a man for marriage and still WANTS to get married, more power to him. I do just want him to not be jaded and bitter because of his divorce. No problem with that yet.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this

Truth “I’m starting a “30 year break ” movement”. Whose with me?”

LOL! I’m already 1/3 of the way there, man. As of May 21 I will have been divorced for 10 years. And, oh yeah, I’ve been married only once and with only one baby mama. So, no “Mr. Multiple” here.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this

Believe it or not, I heard nearly the same implication from some narcissistic douchebag last year. He figured, if she is such a great catch, why hasn’t someone snatched her up and made an honest woman out of her?

Wow, WiseDiva, so you have met Truth? LOL. Just kidding, Truthy, but it does sound like something you’d say. LOL

By GaMan

March 28, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this

GaMan Smacks on his sammiches and says

I aluh ehen crae yll dnot wnot onne of dissess r da bommb

All said while taking another bite and some falling out of his mouth

I am divorced, so now all of a sudden you are Judged if you have been married…Please get the Fugg out of here with all that

Shizzz happens, we all want to be happy and sometimes you have to take that risk…so i am not buying all this

Kym Lady that two days in a row we actually agree on something: your 8:58

By M.

March 28, 2008 9:23 AM | Link to this

I came across a girl last year who was 24 years old and already divorced. I think she just had an unrealistic expectation of what marriage was going to be. Then from that point, I think she treated it like dating and decided to break it off rather than work it out.

On the other hand, I tried to set 2 of my friends up who never met but knew me, but my guy friend was married and divorced and only 28. My (girl) friend was 28 also and kind of taken back at him and I think looked at him as damage goods (even though he had no kids).

@Blogsville

Do single people look at married people as damaged goods? I mean if you are buying a new car, dont you want one with NO miles rather than the test model that somebody already test drove?

By SexyCanI

March 28, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

GaMan LOL. ^5.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

I have dated a guy with what two babies mama’s and a ex-wife.

Now I WOULD draw the line if you have multiple “baby mamas.” Or heck, if you have multiple children with the same woman yet she was never your wife. I’d run like hell.

By SlimOne

March 28, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

Why does it feel like Monday….I so sweepy…yaaaawwwwwn

By M.

March 28, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

I came across a girl last year who was 24 years old and already divorced. I think she just had an unrealistic expectation of what marriage was going to be. Then from that point, I think she treated it like dating and decided to break it off rather than work it out.

On the other hand, I tried to set 2 of my friends up who never met but knew me, but my guy friend was married and divorced and only 28. My (girl) friend was 28 also and kind of taken back at him and I think looked at him as damage goods (even though he had no kids).

@Blogsville

Do single people look at married people as damaged goods? I mean if you are buying a new car, dont you want one with NO miles rather than the test model that somebody already test drove?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

M “Do single people look at married people as damaged goods? I mean if you are buying a new car, dont you want one with NO miles rather than the test model that somebody already test drove?”

I think that “new car vs. used car” analogy is misplaced, because it places emphasis solely on whether or not the person has been married at all and nothing else. Heck, even some new cars turn out to be lemons.

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this

I am not damanged goods @ at all! I am well packeaged and reformed from it all…The good, bad, and ugly and enjoying this second time around at the beautiful age of 28! J is doing da dag on thang with or without one who views divorcees as DRAMA bc we or most are not…We handled our business and moved on gracefully!

By BigWords

March 28, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

ARed You shouldn’t really judge all the fellas as one. When you meet him, determine how damaged he is by what happened behind him getting divorced, etc. You might find out that it was beyond his control or an unhealthy situation he just had to get out of. I’m pretty sure you have flaws too.

By Cemeeli

March 28, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

What’s poppin’ everybody?

…hmmm i’ll take an asparagus omelet. Thanks SexCani.

mytwocents hey up! inside joke…What about the green-shirt guy!?! HA!

BRB.

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

I think it is a matter of considering the common denominator. Everybody can’t be wrong about you. I mean if a person has married 4,5,6 times, you have to stand back and think, what is it about this person that they are that difficult to live with.

We all understand that people make mistakes and marry the wrong individual. But 5,6,7,8 times? Either they are attracting the wrong kinds of mates over and over again, and if you are being attracted what does that say about you. Or they just bolt at the first whiff distress. Would you want someone like that?

I bet if you got all the former spouses together they would all have the same or similar scenarios of their marriage.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

Do single people look at married people as damaged goods?

I did in my early 20s. But it was because back then divorced men were often “old guys.” LOL

My parents have been married for 31 years. My mom is actually my father’s 2nd wife. He was married for less than a year before her. He took that experience and was able to make the marriage to my mom “stick.” So I wouldn’t fault a divorced guy, as long as he’s taken the missteps in his marriage as things to work on an improve in his next relationship.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

M I think that marriage has been given a bad rap since it is not honored as it should be. People get married for different reasons the same as ppl remain single for different reasons. I myself don’t view married ppl as damaged goods. I think marriage is terrific if it’s for you.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this

M I think that marriage has been given a bad rap since it is not honored as it should be. People get married for different reasons the same as ppl remain single for different reasons. I myself don’t view married ppl as damaged goods. I think marriage is terrific if it’s for you.

By M.

March 28, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

@Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

True that…But I dont think Ive ever seen a used car that smells like a new one :)

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

What makes them “damaged”? Having had a license to cohabitate? If you stand by that thought, then that elements everybody that has been with somebody. The majority of the adult world is somebodies ex in one way or the other. So to say damaged goods is pushing the envelop. Just because you didn’t live together does not mean you haven’t been living like “married folks”.

By AmazonREd

March 28, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

BigWords - I don’t judge all the divorced fellas as one. How did you reach that conclusion?

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

And then would not “No Miles” mean virgin in its purest form.

By Demi

March 28, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this

Lady J

You are damage good

Lady J is now using Demi for knife throwing practice.

By M.

March 28, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this

@Blogsville

Correction:

Do single people look at married people as damaged goods? I mean if you are buying a new car, dont you want one with NO miles rather than the test model that somebody already test drove?”

Should read

Do single people look at Divorced people as damaged goods? I mean if you are buying a new car, dont you want one with NO miles rather than the test model that somebody already test drove?”

By Kym

March 28, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

M

I am sorry but it is going to be extremely hard to find someone with NO miles What I read from your statement is :I would like a brand new vehicle that has never been on the market. Not tested and not proven. Which means you want a KIA or Hyundai when they first came out(blown out engines, warranty not worth the paper it is written on, and you cant find the parts to repair it. and you are stuck paying for it.) I dont mind a certified used Honda Accord, or Toyota vehicle, or Ford even. You know they are quality, and you can always find the parts.

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this

Hell by the age of 16 most of us have rode or been rode before. It only takes one mile to make it used.

I think the issue is and should be multiple marriages, not have been married.

By Staceye

March 28, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

M Do single people look at married people as damaged goods? I mean if you are buying a new car, dont you want one with NO miles rather than the test model that somebody already test drove Well I would definitely want a new car. You take a chance when you get a used one. You inherit somebody else’s problem. But when it comes to marriage…there is a chance that the one that was already married now realizes his mistakes and will not make them in the 2nd marriage. Nor will he have the unrealistic views of marriage like someone who has never been married. So it’s a crap shoot!

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

Demi don’t make me take off my earrings hommie…lol…A sistah will have a relaspe and throw it back…lol

By SexyLeggs

March 28, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

My ex-spouse # would be 2 divorces for the man. I plan on staying w/my 1.

Do single people look at married people as damaged goods? I certainly hope not.

I’m with Darrell on the multiple personality issue.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

LOL Raqi. You didn’t like that damaged comment at all.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

M “But I dont think I’ve ever seen a used car that smells like a new one :)”

Question: What’s more important? that a used car smell like a new one or that it drives like one?

By Demi

March 28, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

I would most definitely date a divorced guy.

A.red I too is divorce…

now slapping the hell outta missy the blow up doll

By M.

March 28, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

@Kym

Good point. It was just a QUESTION to the blog. I have never been married. I was just curious how they feel about the multiple marriages idea. I know another lady who has been married twice and may be working on # 3. Its like the experience factor. Like Staceye said, do you think they learned from all of these experience and they will make a better mate?

By GaMan

March 28, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

Ok so A guy/lady that has been married more than once…is a Problem

how many of us know someone that is a good person that has made that mistake. I have met women who were married more than once and divorced again…helllz you can go into any church and find them…or Kroger…or Wal-mart..

my point is this…if you marry someone and the marrige is a set-up …meaning the other person was looking at what you had or they just decide to go Ike Turner on you…and the person leaves..now they are divorced twice…and so they are damage goods…

Come on people…i thought we had better people in here than that!!

I will be the first to say that Some parts of my Divorce were my fault and not shift the blame to her

I owned up to my part of it and it has made me a better man…that is like saying a person that has kids cant be a wonderful Husband/Wife to you

By M.

March 28, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

@Darrell(www.blackthen.com)

You got some good points man…but both are important.

By M.

March 28, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

@Kym

Good point. It was just a QUESTION to the blog. I have never been married. I was just curious how they feel about the multiple marriages idea. I know another lady who has been married twice and may be working on # 3. Its like the experience factor. Like Staceye said, do you think they learned from all of these experience and they will make a better mate?

By GaMan

March 28, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

“Kindness is for all times in all situations — not just when it suits you.”

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

Great post Kym!

By QC

March 28, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

D I know right! i woke up this morning thinking about that and it put a “big smile” on my face!

Demi where in the %$#@! have you been all week? i’m glad you showed up today

Hey Cee-Me-Me

By M.

March 28, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

@Darrell(www.blackthen.com)

You got some good points man…but both are important.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

By the way, M, my 9:54 quetion to you kind of ties back to yesterday’s topic about “mental” vs. “physical” attraction. Cats were on me like vultures on a carcass becuase I had the temerity to suggest that mental attraction is more important.

As I see it, the same principle applies when discussing this whole “new car vs. used car” analogy. Regardless of how the car looks on the outside, what ultimately convinces you to buy the thing is how it drives and that is determined solely by what’s under the hood (the engine). Likewise, it’s what’s “under the hood” of each one of us - our heart - that should ultimately determine our value to someone else, not simply the external.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

Ok so A guy/lady that has been married more than once…is a Problem

Ga Man, are you really getting that sentiment today on the blog? I’m not seeing it personally. What I am seeing are folks getting really defensive when they need not be.

By Cemeeli

March 28, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

GaMan 10:07..i agree.

By Binford2K8

March 28, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

Wise narcissistic douchebag is rich! I’ve never been married, but I can see someone making a mistake on their first marriage. But if they are in their late 20’s/early 30’s and have been married multiple times, you have to question one’s decision making process.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Cats were on me like vultures on a carcass becuase I had the temerity to suggest that mental attraction is more important.

Darrell, that’s not why folks were on you yesterday and you know it. Come on now.

By M.

March 28, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

@GaMan

I really admire and respect your post. Like my Pastor says, a Church is just really a hospital, everybody has issues/problems/drama.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this

M “but both are important.”

I’m not discounting that’s how you feel, but at some point - espectially as it relates to relationships - one has got to override the other. It should go without saying that we’d all like to have a “car” that both smells and drives well. But, as for me, I’d much rather have the latter, because having to douse it with a little Amour-All every now and then is a helluva lot better than needing to replace the engine. :-)

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

you right ARed no need to be defensive it just stuck a cord or I am still sensitive about it while I am past it I still know in my head it is a negative perception and I can’t change that just do me and be true to self…

By Staceye

March 28, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this

I have an uncle that I like to call Serial Groom. He is only 50 and her has been maiired 4 times. It’s like he HAS to be married. Then when his marriages do not work…he runs home to my granny. My Grandpa died in 2000 otherwise he woukd not have that option to come back home again. I made a joke that an ad must go out in the paper everytime he gets divorced and every person that was born female with a pulse and has the burning desire to be married finds him! UGH!

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

you right ARed no need to be defensive it just stuck a cord or I am still sensitive about it while I am past it I still know in my head it is a negative perception and I can’t change that just do me and be true to self…

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

I told yall yesterday we just bought a car.

If you wanna stick with the car analogy try this:

You have the car with 25,000 miles, one owner, mint condition.

You have the car with 25,000 miles, one owner that beat the crap out of it, poor condition.

You have the car with 25,000 miles, five owners in over their head, couldn’t afford the upkeep.

You have the car with 2,500 miles, 1/2 owner, engine ain’t worth the paper it was drafted on.

You got you 250,000 miles, several owners, on it’s last leg, therefore rightfully ready to retire.

Then comes your antique, 250,000 miles, manufactured in 1940, one owner (deceased), well-maintained, mint condition. Priceless. (My dad’s new wife got a gem) : -)

By The Truth

March 28, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

Ared you know that’s not something that would come out of my mouth. I’m all for preserving your product, mental moreso than physical. You can’t give it away and keep it new too.

Darrell i got divorced in 1990 and almost remarried in 2000. I’m so glad I didn’t. I wasn’t ready yet. I’m still not. Life is just so much simpler flying solo. My reasons have changed tho. Before I wanted to get some more puddy. Now I just like enjoying every day. My .02

By Demi

March 28, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

You know they are quality, and you can always find the parts.

Naw, that just means the car isn’t good as the dealers claim.

QC I need time to think a bit. I wasn’t all to happy that I allowed myself to blow up on li’Demi’s mom, after she push me too far.

Note to self: I am ready to pull gun’n’knives QUICK..If I feel li’Demi is in danger

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

Amazon Then what was the reason? Seriously. If that wasn’t the reason, then why did it seem as if I was the only one being peppered with questions about whether or not I’d dated an “ugmo”? (Sound familiar?)

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

you right ARed no need to be defensive it just stuck a cord or I am still sensitive about it while I am past it I still know in my head it is a negative perception and I can’t change that just do me and be true to self…

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Lady J - No problem, lady. I can’t imagine how difficult divorce must be. I don’t think anyone goes into it WANTING to end up divorced.

Each group has their issues. Once you hit a certain age folks look at you crazy if you’re a never been married. And you’re like, “okay, so should I have married some loser just to be married?”

I admire those who found love enough to even GET married. I don’t think I’ve even been close actually.

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

You are right Binford mistakes happen but that was my point if I continue it over and over I have the problem and issues not him me and I need to check that that is why I don’t see myself jumping the broom again until my late 30s early 40s…

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

Darrell - Do you you really think you were the only one profound enough to suggest that mental attraction was more important yesterday? It was repeated by bloggers all day!

Folks got on you because you were the ONLY one who suggested that looks were irrelevant in addition to implying that you’d never find ANYone physically unattractive.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Truth - You throw that “if you’re so great why are you single” line at women bloggers ALL the time when the discussion gets heated. It’s something you would say.

Ooh wee, we got bloggers acting brand new today. LOL

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

Amazon “I don’t think I’ve even been close actually.”

Hmmm…I wonder why? LOL!

By Kym

March 28, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

M My hope is that we all learn from our mistakes. An who is to say someone who has never been married would be a good mate? I know plenty of single, never married, no kids, smart, all the pluses someone is looking for who would drive a potential mate up a glass wall because they have somethings they need to work on personally before they can “jump the broom” into marriage land. Its not some much sometimes about what your past was..its in the past it is about dealing in the now.

Oh my goodness I had aha moment..Oprah would be so proud of me.

By Cemeeli

March 28, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

Hey Demi are we meeting up in the “Dance Cubicle” today? it’s Friday!

By Demi

March 28, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

Lady J People will think what they think..mostly negative..Just do you and keep it moving.

Now I am in a mood for some crab legs…wanna help a little dude out?

I will pay for the legs.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

Darrell - That was uncalled for. Do you really want us speculating why one may not be surprised by why YOUR marriage failed? Dude, let’s not go there, really.

By GaMan

March 28, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

No, I guess i am just saying…you have some comments about everything here…

Never Judge a person unless you have walked a Mile in thier shoes

For the ones here who have been married I am sure We all looked back and saw things that We needed to change

And for the few that have never been married…When your turn comes and things aren’t as sweet all the time, then you will see…. Marriage is a FULL time Job

How many of us have been on the same job for twenty or more years?

By M.

March 28, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

@Kym

Great point! I like the blog because its good to hear everyone’s views…

I wonder if they will let Alexyss K. Tylor on the blog. She has an answer for everything.

By GaMan

March 28, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Kym girl, i agree again with you….dang is it snowing? 3 days in a row?

GaMan looking out of his window for snowflakes

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Uh..tap, tap…Darrell over here. Look…

By Cemeeli

March 28, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

HI QC …waving…

M who’s your pastor? Church is just really a hospital, everybody has issues/problems/drama. ^ That’s the same thing my Pastor says. refuge for the hurt and lost

By Cory

March 28, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

AmazonRed

Why you always acting like a blogger who needs her eyes scratched out?!? Pull back ma.

By M.

March 28, 2008 10:40 AM | Link to this

@Kym

Great point! I like the blog because its good to hear everyone’s views…

I wonder if they will let Alexyss K. Tylor on the blog. She has an answer for everything.

By Demi

March 28, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

Darrell LOL, I was thinking the same thing.

Cemeeli yeah girl…Imma take you way back.

now playing…

Bump N’ Grind

My mind is tellin me no but my body my body’s tellin me yes I (baby) don’t want to hurt nobody But there is something that I must confess……….. (chill)

Chorus I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind

See I know just what you want and I know just what you need girl So baby bring your body to me (bring your body here) I’m not fooling around with you baby My love is true (with you) with you is where I want to be, girl see I need someone someone like me to satisfy your every needs

Chorus

You say he’s not treating you right Then lady spend the night now I’ll love you like you need to be love (girl why don’t you try some of me) No need to look no more because I’ve opened up in my door You’ll never feel another love you see I need someone, someone like me girl to make love to you baby constanly

Chorus

By QC

March 28, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

Oh Demi you’ll be ok…u wanna fly downtown and have lunch with me?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Amazon “Folks got on you because you were the ONLY one who suggested that looks were irrelevant…”

Never suggested that. I consistently made the point that one was more important, but not that one was irrelevant.

*”…in addition to implying that you’d never find ANYone physically unattractive…”

Never implied that at all. If anything, YOU were guilty of drawing your own conclusions based on what I did say - especially after I refused to respond to your “ugmo” question. Tazzee framed the question much more appropriately than you and I believe I did respond to her, if I’m not mistaken. But why you or anyone else is so shocked that I choose to not refer to anyone as “ugly” (or an “ugmo” as you call it) is amazing! Believe it or not, there are those of us who truly do view one another as being created equal in God’s eyes. But for your sake, I trust nothing ever happens to change the goddess-like image you apparently have of yourself. God forbid that you’re ever considered an “ugmo” by anyone as I fear it would be the end of the world as you know it.

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

OK Demi got you point and I was like now Demi knows me and my worth…lol…but I know my worth nad potential too and glad for that divorce but it brought out the woman in me! Know you now all it takes is a bucket of legs and you got me…lol..Thanks Demi! Good looking out ARed!

By mytwocents

March 28, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

A guy could look at me, my age, and see that I have no children, and they could think: she is too selfish to be a wife, and too self-absorbed to have a child. I’m thinking those interested in me are suspicious for different reasons. Since I look like I coulda popped out a couple, I’m nurturing, I cook –it doesn’t add up to them. Here’s what added up to me: B told me she was pregnant the day before our 8th grade graduation, T got caught up during 9th and N was carrying by 10th…The cycle continued right thru college.

Do single people look at Divorced people as damaged goods? Previously married or not, each of us is already damaged by the time we make the other’s acquaintance. But in this instance, I’d be curious about two things. 1.) What motivated the Divorce? AND 2.) What motivated the MARRIAGE??? Speaking of which — > Bad choices, pressure, knocked someone up, someone said they were knocked, well it was a good idea at the time. The list goes on and on. I get concerned cuz rarely does the list include even a side order of l-o-v-e. (At least when I’m conversing w/ the fellas who have been there or are currently doing that. Read: Explaining why his wife should not be an obstacle in the thang WE could have…) Heavy sigh… Sorry, but I’ve gotta give the raised brow to the default brides and the men who wifed them if they still believe those alone were valid reasons to take that walk.

Cee You think he stenciled that mess on his tee himself? Nah he got some chickadee who wears the boots w/ da furrrrr … Confession: Saw that big ole solid gold shoe he held up and wondered for a sec if that was your baby… Forgot, it ain’t him — you da one who acts da fool!

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

@ GaMan Marriage is a FULL time Job you are so right.

By Demi

March 28, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Ceemeli ummmm…Imma take you way back…Step over into the Dance Cubicle

Bump N’ Grind

My mind is tellin me no but my body my body’s tellin me yes I (baby) don’t want to hurt nobody But there is something that I must confess……….. (chill)

Chorus I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind I don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind

See I know just what you want and I know just what you need girl So baby bring your body to me (bring your body here) I’m not fooling around with you baby My love is true (with you) with you is where I want to be, girl see I need someone someone like me to satisfy your every needs

Chorus

You say he’s not treating you right Then lady spend the night now I’ll love you like you need to be love (girl why don’t you try some of me) No need to look no more because I’ve opened up in my door You’ll never feel another love you see I need someone, someone like me girl to make love to you baby constanly

Chorus

By M.

March 28, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

@Cemeeli

Pastor Craig L. Oliver, Elizabeth Baptist Church.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

Raqi “Uh..tap, tap…Darrell over here. Look…”

LOL!

It seems that somebody is intent on picking a blog fight today and I actually feel inclined to accommodate them. I’m already pizzed off after reading this morning that we just offered the Countrywide COO $28M to stay on board after the acquisition is completed. :-/

By For Real

March 28, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

For Real is up under M’s skirt looking for odometer.

Darrell What if God wants you to marry a beautiful fool? How would that play into your mental first philosophy? Will you lean on your own understanding then?

For Real now slap-grabbing Kym on the booty like they do in sports for her great post.

By The Truth

March 28, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

Ared I double dog dare you to go and find where I’ve said that. Personally, and this is from the heart, I think some of y’all have been spending to much time in the mirror. If I wanted to be married I could do it THIS saturday with no less than 3 woman that have known me for at least 10 years. My thinking is if you want to be married and you aren’t what’s wrong with you that you can’t make that happen. Why aren’t your thoughts and actions matching up? Dating sites and all that is like McDonalds for the soul. It’s quick and easy and fun but is it really going to get you where you want to be? I’d think a woman that wanted to be married would be taking cooking classes or visiting a marriaid couseling group to see what issues floks are dealing with or something of that nature vs on-line dating. We are conditioned to want drive up but sometimes a well prepared meal is just better. BTW, this applies to me also. If I do decide that I want to be married I have to up my game too. I have a certain vision for me and an even tighter standard for my wife to be. My wife won’t be all to the wind trying to hold me up. I don’t roll like that for me and I’m not going to put her through that. The thing is if it’s not in your head beforehand it’s hard to produce during.

So, to reply to your statement, I’m not saying why hasn’t SOMEONE ELSE seen enough in you but why aren’t you holding yourself to a higher standard to achieve what you want? There’s a difference.

By Binford2K8

March 28, 2008 10:56 AM | Link to this

ARed

During my sicktime, I’ve been watching TV, and I caught Extreme Makeover. And it’s amazing how they transform people. Now, the liposuction they tend to do I don’t like because I think that is the lazy way out - but the teeth and some other “flaws” people have through no fault of their own get “fixed”.

Watching the show made me think about looks and such and I realized the following:

I do not think I could ever be with someone considered “ugly” or obese regardless of how nice they were or stimulated me mentally.

Conversely, I would date an attractive girl if she didn’t stimulate me mentally at first, hoping she would eventually.

And while I may on a cognitive level know that isn’t exactly right, the biology overrides the cognitive.

But if I married 3 hot girls who did nothing for me mentally, it would definitely be on me ;p

…see, I tied it back to topic - lol.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

Ared I’m thumnping my fingers on what you said I don’t think anyone goes into it WANTING to end up divorced. I don’t think so either but some do go in expecting a divorce since pre nups are common nowadays.

By Demi

March 28, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

mamalongleggs Dayum!!!

Don’t tell me you’re 5’10 - 6’ too!!

QC I would love to, it’s a nice day out side.

darrell why did your marriage fail. Not salt sling’n, a brother just want to know.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

For Real “What if God wants you to marry a beautiful fool? How would that play into your mental first philosophy?”

Good grief. :-/ That question is ridiculous in and of itself, man. If you knew anything about God - at least the God I know - then you’d realize He’d never want for such a thing. If God doesn’t want any of us to be fools why in the world would He desire that I marry one?

Amazing. smh

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

No Darrell, I’m certainly not interested in picking a blog fight today. But you seem to be.

What I told you today is that you were not the only one who suggested mental was worth more than physical. Damn near everyone did. If you didn’t like the way a question was posed, by me, then say that. What I was saying vs. what Tazzee was saying was essentially the samething. One was just wrapped up in a pretty little bow.

As for anyone calling me an ‘ugmo’. I’m fine with that. It doesnt’ matter what other people think, it matters what I think.

In addition, if someone has p** in your cheerios today. Take it out on that person. I did not come at you in a disrespectful manner. This is a discussion blog and if no one can challenge you when you’re in a “mood” then take a break today. Seriously.

By abc

March 28, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

The biggest cause of divorce is women. Women file for divorce more than twice as much as men, about 68-70% of the time. It wasn’t what they thought it would be; they find it hampers their career or is somehow too restrictive; they find someone else. Don’t go saying it’s because men cheat all the time, women cheat as much or more than men.

I’m twice divorced and seriously doubt I’ll marry again. If anyone doesn’t take marriage seriously enough, it’s women. It’s not just my opinion, studies and statistics bear that out.

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A COMPLETELY, UTTERLY, WHOLEHEARTEDLY, HAHA, LOL, TONGUE IN CHEEK, SLAP ON THE KNEE, COMMENT.

Truth be told the damaged goods are the items that stay near the rack and has never been purchased. However, they have been picked over, dropped, trampled, push to the side, thrown under the rack, and retagged. Although never worn, however never passable for purchase. And if it is the last one on the rack, there is a 25% damaged discount attached.

I love to shop.

By pisces 08

March 28, 2008 11:03 AM | Link to this

Good morning All….. Sometimes you learn from your mistakes, which makes the second time much better. But if take the same old baggage into the second and third, then its the same soup warmed over. I tend to take people as they are, until they show me why I shouldn’t.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 11:03 AM | Link to this

Demi naw, I’m a shortie (5’4)with looong legs….

now doing the Tina Turner dance

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

Demi “darrell why did your marriage fail. Not salt sling’n, a brother just want to know.”

You know what, man, the irony of all this is it failed because of the exact same reason mentioned in a post by Amazon herself yesterday where a guy told her that after he and his wife had children, she didn’t need him anymore and simply saw him as a “financial institution”. That’s exactly what happened in my situation! The only difference is that she didn’t even see me as a “financial institution”. It was as if she didn’t need me anymore at all.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

I don’t think anyone goes into it WANTING to end up divorced. I don’t think so either but some do go in expecting a divorce since pre nups are common nowadays.

mamalonglegs - I liken a prenup more like insurance. You don’t get into a car hoping to have an accident, but you darn sure want to be prepared if you do.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Raqi clean up on isle 6 and please don’t disgard damaged goods, please retag and put on top shelf LOL

By SlimOne

March 28, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Never Judge a person unless you have walked a Mile in thier shoes

Do single people look at Divorced people as damaged goods?

FYI: if you buy damaged canned goods at the grocery store, you can get a discount…

Marriage is a FULL time Job

narcissistic douchebag

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Amazon “…if no one can challenge you when you’re in a “mood” then take a break today. Seriously.”

To quote Elmer Fudd: “She don’t konw me vewy well, do she?”

Hell, we wouldn’t even be discussing this if you hadn’t butted in with your misinterpretations of my comments from yesterday. You completely took them out of context. I’m fully cognizant of every single syllable I type on this blog, so not only do I know what I said, I also know what I meant by what I said.

By the way, I don’t even like Cheerios.

By He's Ugly

March 28, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Amazon Red

Darrell is ugly, I have seen pictures of him, that’s why he don’t think people are ugly, he looks like shrek.

By Lurker

March 28, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Sometimes you learn from your mistakes, which makes the second time much better.

You thief! LOL.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

Binford - Dude, how sick are you? Is everything ok? Just seems like you’ve been laid up for a minute. Get well soon.

Truth - I haven’t forgotten about you. ;-)

By IslandGirl

March 28, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

Morning All

If a person has had multiple marriages, does it make them updateable? No, but I’m a bit more cautious.

Would you date them with caution? Yes. Been there and done that (earned a shirt for it. Where is Randy T). The last guys I dated for a while, was divorced. When we met and went through the phase of “getting to know each other”- he told me he was divorced, and had time to resolve all of the issues from the divorce. I asked him if he felt he as ready to date again (at that time) and he said, “yes”.

Anyway, six months into the relationship he divulged to me he had actually been divorced three times! That explained a lot. Although he treated me well, I always felt like there was a permanent wall around his heart. I would not allow this experience stop me from meeting the right guy, even if he has been divorced. We all have our own issues to contend with. You guys are well aware that I am a single parent, which maybe a criteria for some to not date.

Demi/Alvin, Slim, Truth, Cee, SJ, BigWords, Blow, Ared, LadyJ, Mo, SexyL, Real, Stacyeye, Darrell, Raqi, QC, Rell, Dan, GaMan, and everyone in blogsville…Happy Friday!

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

Divorce is not a pretty thing regardless who’s at fault. My parents divorced when I was 2 and I still reap the unhealthy benefits of thier failed marriage. Chihldren are never considered when a divorce is filed.

By Cherie

March 28, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

ARed That’s not true! I’ve seen him and he’s very handsome.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

Darrell - Bottom line, NO ONE was getting on you because “Cats were on me like vultures on a carcass becuase I had the temerity to suggest that mental attraction is more important.” You might have known what you said, but YOUR interpretation of why folks got “on you” is completely incorrect. You might be cognizant of what you SAY on this blog, but clearly you weren’t cognizant on why folks were “on you” yesterday.

And even still, how did you find that as any sort of personal attack or attempts to start a blog fight?

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

Good analogy Ared but I disagree. In marriage you take a vow till death do you part (ie not breathing) LOL

Why does everyone compare humans to automobiles?? I just wanna know.

By Summer 8/23

March 28, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

Y’all really need to calm the hell down! The subject ain’t Darrell, why did your marriage end My goodness can somebody please bring some laughter to this blog cause I NEED TO LAUGH DAMMITT It’s friday the end of the week, payday for some folks, what’s happening at the clubs this weekend, anybody going to church, movies, dinner? Has anyone seen Meet The Browns

By Binford2K8

March 28, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

ARed

I ran too hard too long and just wore myself out (combo’d with a cold bug), but I’m close to 100% now. Should be ready for the weekend!

So where we meetin?

By Wise Diva

March 28, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

If you want to call another person ugly, please post your own picture first LOL. I’m just sayin’

I meant to tell you guys that Randyt says hello to all his blog friends! He has been traveling to far off places with the new job, but I make him check in with me from time to time. He’s doing just grand!

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

Ugly/Cherie - I don’t care what Darrell looks like. It’s irrelevant to me.

By QC

March 28, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

Allright Demi where your cotton cape cause it may be a little warm down here after 1pm

By QC

March 28, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

Hey Island Girl have a great day!

By Cemeeli

March 28, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

ROTFLOL @ mytwocents

Saw that big ole solid gold shoe he held up and wondered for a sec if that was your baby… Forgot, it ain’t him — you da one who acts da fool!

…the young men sitting behind us were saying…”Mayne, I beat chu’ he spray painted those.”

So the guy who was peddling the Toy Bling Blinkers (why does anyone want to buy their kid a blinking pacifier???!!! beats me) approached the right mamma. So he says lil mama go head and get lil man one. I’ll get him one if you giving us the ‘junkie hook-up’ cuz? he started laughing at me…and said…Lil mama i’ll hook you up. My lil guy say i didn’t want now kept walking and says… laughing…- Alright mom no need to embarass me any more.

I am an embarassing momma…po’ thang.

By Staceye

March 28, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

abc The biggest cause of divorce is women. That is crap…we are NOT the biggest CAUSE..that would be infedility, religion or financial. Women file for divorce more than twice as much as men, about 68-70% of the time that is because men have the “its cheaper to keep her” mentality. They would rather remain mariied and go creep and act as if they are single so they do not have to pay alimony and/or child support!

I’m twice divorced and seriously doubt I’ll marry again if my memory serves me correctly…you sir were about to go for wife #3 just a few moments ago. So…..

ARED *I like a prenup more like insurance. You don’t get into a car hoping to have an accident, but you darn sure want to be prepared if you do. * Girl I agree 100%. I would not enter a marriage thinking we are going to end up divorced. Just as if I enter a relationship..I hope it will but I know that is that 50/50 chance that it may not. So why fool myself and not protect myself just in case.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

Amazon I’m on a conference call right now, but how ‘bout we just drop this altogether, okay? Debating this on a blog is bad enough, but to continue to go in circles about it is even worse.

$28M?! Damn! :-/

By IslandGirl

March 28, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

Wise thanks for that update on RadyT. Let him know some of us miss him.

By Cemeeli

March 28, 2008 11:29 AM | Link to this

M we may know each other. My son was apart of the school ministry for years. Legacy Christian and Indelible Impressions.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Darrell - Fine with me.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

Whoops! Sorry Island Girl!. Happy Friday to you too!

By kinderbabe

March 28, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

good afternoon.:) i wouldn’t count someone out b/c they had been married before. a lot of people marry young and learn tremendous life lessons from their first marriage/long term relationship.

i do realize that i may be a little late commenting on topic. you all have started showing out already…lol.

By SexyLeggs

March 28, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

You guys are something else this morning. YouUgly are being plain childish. I too have seen Darrell’s picture. I see nothing ugly there. But as usual, beauty/appreciation is in the eyes of the beholder. If that’s you’re take fine.

Darrell, thanks for being honest as to why your marriage failed. Too all of you wanting to get married let me and Truth tell you togehter….IT’S NO JOKE. IT’S NOT WHAT IT’S CRACKED UP TO BE. Some of us are wired for marriage and some of us aren’t. I’m not! Truthfully speaking, I would rather shack up. Mama would kill me if she could read this.

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st.

March 28, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

Truth Did you get tighten up last night? I sure hope you did..I hope that bark got turned down last night.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

There’s two sides to every story. We know this already. Yeah, the guy I’ve been dating said his ex didn’t need him anymore after the kids came. But I know his wife has a completely different side. And I also know that when times got rough, he went outside his marriage.

So yes, let’s admire those who post their own personal truths on here, but also realize that it may fly in direct conflict with those who fought the battle on the other side.

Yeah SexyLeggs, marriage is no joke. I also admire the single folks who don’t enter into such a union lightly. Just like I can respect those who have been there, done that and made it out alive.

By Lurker

March 28, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

Amazon, how are you going to tell someone that their own interpretation is incorrect? Don’t you mean you disagree with his interpretation?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 11:39 AM | Link to this

SexyLeggs “Darrell, thanks for being honest as to why your marriage failed.”

You’re welome. :-) I’ve got nothing to hide here. Demi asked an honest question and I gave an honest response. I was married 12 years, so it’s not like I didn’t try to make it work.

By QC

March 28, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

kinderB how ya doing?

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

March 28, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

Well Dayum….ya’ll got it poppin already in here!

IslandGirl hey chica, how are you?

mamalongleggs Chihldren are never considered when a divorce is filed. I think this is the case most times but not all the time. All I could think about was my child as I was contemplating my divorce. Its a hard call to make and depends on the situation. I wanted a happy household for my child and that couldnt be obtained with my ex. I know my child will suffer but not nearly as much as he potentially could have if me & ex had stayed together.

abc I think its unfair to say women are the cause of divorce. Now the stats may say that many women file but do those stats give reasons why those women file for divorce? Also does it state why the men didnt file? No one says that men cheat more than women and vice versa but it has been proven that women put up with more in a marriage than men. (Most men couldnt put up with a wife that cheated, didnt keep a job/was bad with money, had another family across town, was a repeat offender). But we could argue back and forth about this, I just thought that was quite a blow to generalize and say women are the cause of divorces.

By IslandGirl

March 28, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

Cruzian Rum and Coke for everyone (more rum than coke….hehehehe

One sip should cool things down around here. *IG now waiting to see who will be the first person to start stumbling

Real noooooo! This is not karaoke night, and we don’t want to hear you sing the “Star Spangled Banner”! Yesterday we found out you can’t read, but now- you’re tone deaf

By Binford2K8

March 28, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

ARed

I ran too hard too long and just wore myself out (combo’d with a cold bug), but I’m close to 100% now. Should be ready for the weekend!

So where we meetin?

By Binford2K8

March 28, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

ARed

I ran too hard too long and just wore myself out (combo’d with a cold bug), but I’m close to 100% now. Should be ready for the weekend!

So where we meetin?

By Poppa Grande

March 28, 2008 11:46 AM | Link to this

Good morning to all…

I have to admit that SexyLeggs has a point about marriage. Everyone is not wired for marriage just like every child is not college material. We allow pre-concieved notions cloud our judgment of how things should be.

I’ve been married for eight years and learned really early that you can’t be fully prepared for everything gets thrown your way. Some people don’t handle those challenges very well.

Also, I do agree that marriage is a full time job and we both must remember that we getting on the job training. (This is the first marriage for both of us.)

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

Lurker - Because I was one of the people who “got on him” yesterday and it was not because he said that he values “mental over physical.” And that was wrong because I’m one of the people who “got on him” yesterday so he misinterpreted where I and others were coming from. No I don’t speak for the whole blog, but the issue was not him valuing mental over physical. I see no problem with that and I know other bloggers didn’t either.

By Demi

March 28, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

IG hey bay, I read your name and thought of this:

let’s get it on let’s get it on ‘til a early morning girl…it’s all good just turn me on

Yo, Shake that thing Miss Kana Kana shake that thing Yo, Annabella shake that thing Miss Donna Donna Yo Miss Jodi yu’r di one and Rebecca shake that thing

Yo shake that thing Yo Joanna shake that thing Yo Annabella shake that think Miss Kana Kana

[ Chorus ] Yo sexy ladies want par with us In a the car with us Them nah war with us In a the club them want flex with us To get next to us Them cah vex with us From the day me born jah ignite me flame gal a call me name and its me fame Its all good girl turn me on ‘Til a early morn’ Let’s get it on Let’s get it on ‘til a early morning Girl it’s all good just turn me on

Let’s get it on ‘til a early morning Girl it’s all good just turn me on…

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

@ Mo My intension was not to lump every divorced person as not thinking about the children, I know some do but you have to agree children are the ones who suffer the most. As for me being a product of divorced parents I used to say I would never get married since it will end in divorce anyway. Well I did get married even though it didnt end in divorce I’m ready to try again someday.

By IslandGirl

March 28, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

Mo Not much, just glad it is friday.

By For Real

March 28, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

Darrell Stop SYH and listen to your contridiction. You say that there are no ugly people bc you view people as God’s creation. However, you do judge God’s creation mental. I sould be the one questioning whether you know God. You are right God doesn’t want us to be fools, unhealthy, violent, theives, nor murders but the fact is we are. I will not question what you do or don’t know about God because we are created for different purposes you should know better.

By Tazzee

March 28, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

Man, you folks that have been married before are pretty sensitive this morning!

If a person has had multiple marriages, does it make them undateable? I don’t think anyone is undateable - some might not be down with it, but there’s someone out there for them, or else we wouldn’t have multiple marriages, LOL.

Would you date them with caution? Isn’t it possible they are just the type that fell in love too fast? I date EVERYONE with caution. I would want to know the circumstances surrounding the demise of their marriage and how long they waited between marriages. But that’s no different than dating any guy. I’d want to know why a guy that’s never been married has never been married before. Or if a guy has been in a lot of long-term relationships, I’d want to know why they never jumped the broom. Shoot, I just wanna know!

How many ex-spouses are you cool with your potential mate having? It all depends on the circumstances and his state of mind now.

Darrell As a matter of fact, you never did answer my question but I let it go.

Summer I saw Meet the Browns, I wish I would have waited for it to come on DVD. What made it worse is I treated my two sisters and my niece - shelled out $29 for that movie!

By SexyLeggs

March 28, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

mamalongleggs you should never say NEVER. I considered my daughter every step of the way. Had many conversations w/her. Felt her, so to speak, pulse on my decision. She was/is my #1 priority. Personally, I don’t think you should stay married just for the sake of the children. What you teaching your children by doing that? That’s it’s ok to stay somewhere where both parties are unhappy. This is your bed now continue to lay in it? NOT!

Summer 8/23, my weekend will be at track meets. My daugther has a “qualifying” meet this evening (5:00 to about 11:00p.)and another one Saturday afternoon. BAH HUMBUG! 20 other schools will be competing. It’s going to be a long night. Anyway, hoping her speed in the 4x4 drops from 103 to 101. Then going to church on Sunday..What about you, darling? (LOL)

By abc

March 28, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

Mo, I reiterate: women themselves are the most common cause. Men don’t file nearly as often because they tend to be able to adapt to whatever it is, and women get displeased with a situation sooner or later no matter what it is.

By Demi

March 28, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

QC/Ms.Eye/Mo

Remember this type of love?

Got somebody she’s a beauty Very special really and truly Take good care of my like it’s her duty Want you right by my side night and day

CHORUS No letting go no holding back Becuase you are my lady When I’m with you it’s all a that Girl I’m so glad that we’ve dated No letting go no holding back No holding back no When I’m with you it’s all a that All a that

[ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/iJD ] Thay say good things must come to an end But I’m optimistic about being your friend Though I made you cry by my doings With Keisha and Annesha but that Was back then

CHORUS

Really appreciate you loving me After all that we’ve been through Really appreciate you loving me All times time

Got somebody she’s a beauty Very special really and truly Take good care of my like it’s her duty Want you right by my side night and day

CHORUS

By Staceye

March 28, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

Mamlongleggs Chihldren are never considered when a divorce is filed. Not always treu..some parents actually stay in a miserable marriage fro the sake of the kid..not knowing that kids since the tension and see/hear the fighting and its no better than being divorced. That is why I think married couples should wait at least 2-3 years before having kids. It would give you time to buuild on the marriage itself before having to factor in kids. Of course it’s no solve all..but I think it would cut down on a lot of children being in the middle.

IG Happy Friday back at cha!

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

Tazzee - In the interest of blog harmony, I’m just going to say thank you for your post. I knew I wasn’t crazy. Thanks for your 11:54.

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

There are instances where divorce in actually beneficial to the children. No child needs to live in a household where the parents are constantly at each other throat. Where there may be abuse…of all kinds. Sometimes people can get along better being apart. They can at least be cordial. And in those situations a child is better off.

By Darrell

March 28, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

Tazzee The answer to your question is ‘yes’, I have dated someone like that. In fact, I married her.

By GaMan

March 28, 2008 12:03 PM | Link to this

Slim lololol girl when they finally take off the white jacket with the zipper in the back and let you out of the room with the padded walls….come back to us ok

yous a skrat fool!!

By IslandGirl

March 28, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

Demi shake that ting! IG singing and dancing with a lighter in the air. (lol)

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

Sexy I’m glad to hear you made a good decision for you and your daughter. I wouldn’t advise anybody to stay in anything that is unhealty for them or their child(ren). I know my parents marriage was unrepairable after I learned all the facts from both sides, even though there is a thrid side. When I said never I was a kid still hurting I’m all grown up now.

By Staceye

March 28, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

Demi dat’s my song son!

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

What you teaching your children by doing that? That’s it’s ok to stay somewhere where both parties are unhappy. This is your bed now continue to lay in it? NOT!

SexyLeggs - You bring up a good point. Let’s examine this for a minute. How do your kids know you are unhappy in your marriage unless you show it? Unless you have loud arguments or are a victim of domestic violence, your kids should not be privy to the inner workings of your marriage.

My parents have been together 31 years, but I’m just now finding out some of the difficulties they’ve faced while my sisters and I were in the house. They had seperated when I was a baby and worked things out. There were times when I got older that they hit a rough patch and figured may be divorcing would be a better option. My parents have fought only once in my presence.

So to answer your question, whether they stayed together because of their love or stayed together because of their kids, I’m not certain. But what it’s taught me is that marriage is not always going to be easy and you may not always be happy but you honor your commitments.

I’m not saying that some of you faced insurmountable challenges in your marriages, but what married person DOESN’T say that? I can say that I do respect my parents immensely for the choices they made.

By SexyLeggs

March 28, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

Gotcha mamalongleggs. The kid never goes away even though you are no housed in a grown woman’s body. Definitely feel ya!

Hello Poppa Grande, you’re absolutely right on the job training, and when both are on the same page, EUREKA!

By Demi

March 28, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

abc Are it could be a lot of men aren’t man’in up and being leaders in their wives lives.

Hey SexyLeggs

By QC

March 28, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

Hey Tazzee are you doing any traveling this summer?

By BeautifulBlogVestFastened

March 28, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

mamalongleggs

thinking about the children, I know some do but you have to agree children are the ones who suffer the most

this pulled me out of lurksville. from the day they were born i put those selfish brats first. when i spent money, it was never on me. when we planned to do something, it was never what mommy wanted to do. BUT, when it came to leave the relationship, it was at that time i thought about my happiness, my health, my future. like someone said yesterday, take that somewhere else cause it’s not all about the kids all the dang time.

disclaimer: please don’t take this personal, but what you stated is getting old already.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

Staceye understand. Not lumping all divorced parents in the same boat. Just venting on my experience.

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

But Staceye the problem with 2-3 year wait is, as abc so often tell us, when the kids come is when the problem arises with some.

One of my ex s-i-l had that problem. They did not have kids until after 5 years. They, him moreso than her, became accustomed to just the two of them. She was always available at his beckon. After the first kid it started going down hill. He complained about her not having the time she once did for him. Not having time at all, but not having the time she once did. So it is a case by case matter. There is no textbook remedy.

By Demi

March 28, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

Mamlongleggs getting me all happy’n’sh’t, LOL…SUP!!

IG/Ms.Eyes if blog folks keep acting up, I may play some Bob Marley and make them smoke some green…F/K it

No, woman, no cry; No, woman, no cry; No, woman, no cry; No, woman, no cry.

Said - said - said: I remember when we used to sit In the government yard in Trenchtown, Oba - obaserving the ‘ypocrites As they would mingle with the good people we meet. Good friends we have, oh, good friends we’ve lost Along the way. In this great future, you can’t forget your past; So dry your tears, I seh.

No, woman, no cry; No, woman, no cry. ‘Ere, little darlin’, don’t shed no tears: No, woman, no cry.

Said - said - said: I remember when-a we used to sit In the government yard in Trenchtown. And then Georgie would make the fire lights, As it was logwood burnin’ through the nights. Then we would cook cornmeal porridge, Of which I’ll share with you; My feet is my only carriage, [ Find more Lyrics at www.mp3lyrics.org/tg ] So I’ve got to push on through. But while I’m gone, I mean: Everything’s gonna be all right! Everything’s gonna be all right! Everything’s gonna be all right! Everything’s gonna be all right! I said, everything’s gonna be all right-a! Everything’s gonna be all right! Everything’s gonna be all right, now! Everything’s gonna be all right!

So, woman, no cry; No - no, woman - woman, no cry. Woman, little sister, don’t shed no tears;

I remember when we used to sit In the government yard in Trenchtown. And then Georgie would make the fire lights, As it was logwood burnin’ through the nights. Then we would cook cornmeal porridge, Of which I’ll share with you; My feet is my only carriage, So I’ve got to push on through. But while I’m gone:

No, woman, no cry; No, woman, no cry. Woman, little darlin’, say don’t shed no tears; No, woman, no cry.

Eh! (Little darlin’, don’t shed no tears! No, woman, no cry. Little sister, don’t shed no tears! No, woman, no cry

By M.

March 28, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

@Cemeeli

Ok cool! You know EBC is the real experience. I have been a member for almost a year.

By mytwocents

March 28, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli (I’ma keep visitin’ w/ u ova here, outta the fray.) Why is there more action in the stands than on the floor? I feel so cheated! No peddlers up in the rafters with me. I bet dude makes a tidy profit. Hmmm both embarrased for baby boy and compelled to make a suggestion at the same time. We can buy some random item, bling it out ~ still got my bedazzler from ‘91 ~ sit back watchin the show while he’s forced to push product. Split profits. He’ll do it if he ever wants to play Grand Theft Auto again. Deal?

By SexyLeggs

March 28, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

No need to examine this You bring up a good point. Let’s examine this for a minute. How do your kids know you are unhappy in your marriage unless you show it? Unless you have loud arguments or are a victim of domestic violence, your kids should not be privy to the inner workings of your marriage. It’s obvious! Some children are privy to the arguments, the noise, the disrespect, and as far as the unhappiness is concerned sometimes YOU JUST CAN’T CONTINUE TO FAKE THE FUNK. Chidren don’t have to see everything nor hear everything, but you best believe they feel more than we think. My child wasn’t privy to much, but she was privy to more than she should have been. For right now, she appears to be a well-rounded young lady growing up in two different households. Her grades are still all “As”, she’s mannerable and respectful. She’s a good kid and doesn’t deserve to be raised in a household where nobody respected the other. That would have been a horrible lesson for me to have taught her. I’m very glad that your parents worked out what they needed to work out and did it in such a way that now, as an adult, you’re just beginning to hear about what they choose to handle behind closed doors. KUDOS TO YOUR PARENTS.

Hey Demi, want some pizza (JK). I know it’s too fattening to you.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

Beautiful None taken.

please don’t take this personal, but what you stated is getting old already So is a whold bunch of other things but we still talk/chat about it. go figure!

By QC

March 28, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

Hey Staceye, Ga.Man

By kinderbabe

March 28, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

hey QC:) how are you? i’m doing fine…well, actually. just winding down for the weekend.

By Demi

March 28, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

For Real do you mind singing a few song from Can’t-P and BoBo for the ladies?

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

March 28, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

mamalongleggs I know you lumping all divorced parents in the same boat, just thought I’d offer the other side.

IG thanks for that rum & coke chica…..may I have another in a bigger glass this time? :0)

abc So we are giving men credit for simply adapting to a situation as opposed to handling it in a marriage. I guess women back in the day who adapted to their husband having another family across town deserve some serious kudos then, just b/c they didnt get a divorce. After all, they adapted to that. Men dont file for divorce when they are content and that isnt simply adapting, that is settling. And I just dont think anyone should settle. Now I am not saying just up and divorce the first time you get angry with a spouse but dont kid yourself either.

Staceye I agree, women arent the cause of divorce. We may file more often that men, but the causes can vary.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 12:26 PM | Link to this

Hey Demi I’m outstanding waiting on the 5 o’clock shadow. Ready to get my mini 3 day vacation on the sunny gulf shores. What’s up with you?

By Tazzee

March 28, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this

Darrell thanks for answering.

QC I thank God I didn’t schedule a big trip this year. My motto when thinking about making a big purchase is ‘we in a recession!’ My travel this year is limited to some beach Memorial Day weekend, two trips to NYC for theater, my 20th high school reunion (DANG, 20 years!!!) and my Falcons treks this fall. Oh and I’m contemplating going to the Essence Music Festival.

By GaMan

March 28, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this

Hey QC

Staceye here is another ticket for the weekend…

Love ya

By SexyLeggs

March 28, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

BeautifulBlogVestFastened ^5.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this

It’s okay Mo we all have our own experiences in life, some we share while others we keep tucked away neatly inside.

Bottomless Martini for everyone, heck it’s 5 o’clock somewhere

By QC

March 28, 2008 12:41 PM | Link to this

Those trips should be fun Tazz i remember back in the day you were on a roll…I’m thinking about going to the Essence Festival myself just to do something different…be sure to enjoy yourself :)

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

Tazzee You’re welcome. I wasn’t ignoring your question and I appreciate the way you phrased it. I think I got sidetracked yesterday by one of my many meetings and like I’ve always said, when 4:00 hits, I bounce. Period. ;-)

By Staceye

March 28, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

Raqi She was always available at his beckon. After the first kid it started going down hill. He complained about her not having the time she once did for him Well then that man needs to grow up and realize it’s not all about him. He is not a defenseless baby who need the attention of it’s parents.

GA Man you can’t roll up in here handing me a ticket for no reason!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

March 28, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this

mamalonglegs you are my girl! Between you and IslandGirl I am gonna be tow down when I get off work!! LOL :0)

By Attention W*******

March 28, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

BeautifulBlogVestFastened

You are an idiot!! The discussion is about married people leaving unhappy marriages not stupid Women who form relationships with the women who a man who would not marry them slept around with!!

PLEASE, DO US ALL A FAVOR AND GO BACK TO LURKSVILLE!!

By m'karyl

March 28, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this

The number of times a person has been married and divorced is a serous red flag for me. I have a limit to how many “failed” relationships I allow myself to overlook. I honestly think that is a serious red flag from jump street, especially if the person is not quite 40 or so to boot. I do not hold it against anyone in a negative, judgmental sort of way-I such stay clear of any deep attachments on either side and keep a good distance boundary in place just to be safe.

By DasV

March 28, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

ROTFLOL @ Demi posting the Nesta lyrics…. you are sooo thupid!

good afternoon good people

i am full of joy and endless laughter… i love the fierce ride down the runway and the takeoff - - so to speak….. i stayed up till after 1am talking and sharing. i truly believe in its theraputic value. it softens my critical/over-analyzing knife and it cleans the chambers of my nine.

on the new topic

children perceive so much more than we give them credit for. however, there are families where the kids have been raised to be self-absorbed and theyve been isolated from reality….. for them a divorce comes as an unfathomable concept. they are the same kids who ask for everything on every isle and checkout counter and then throw a temper tantrum bec they cannot comprehend the word ‘no’.

from what i know on this blog,no one is raising a child or children wit they heads stuck in the sand. so even if you not having loud arguements, or slamming doors etc. the children know whats up. and honestly, right before divorce is even uttered out loud… you pass the slamming doors and fighting screaming matches….. and you can tell when even a stranger is unhappy…. trust. children know when mommy and daddy ‘just goin through the motions’.

cant you tell im in a good mood… i am w-o-r-d-y LOL

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

Over the many days I have read many comments on here about marriages and then come the kids and have never really stated my opinion on it.

But today here it is. I love my present situation. Already having had kids before this marriage. Not that I wouldn’t love to have a baby with Mason. That would be the most precious honored experience for our union. And would even consider it if he asked me between now and next Thursday. LOL (I ain’t having no babies after 40) But I like the way things are now. The kids are past the age of total dependency. No new bundle to invade our galaxy of bliss.

We married into this situation therefore already dealing with the time management between “our time” and their needs. The fact that one is out of the house after only two years of marriage is an added bonus.

To have a child now would be a decision that we would have to think long and hard about. And I mean long and hard. I love kids. I love my kids. But coming into our union with me reinforcing that I really don’t want to have another and him assuring that he is fine with that, it is more than likely that it will not happen. If it does…please Lord don’t let it.

But as he likes to put it, he got the best of both worlds. Someone (the kid) to bathe his baby (car) and his baby (yours truly) to bathe him. LOL

By QC

March 28, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

I’m good KinderB

Beautiful Girl i’m loving your “virtual blog vest” you should come out with your own line of those in assorted colors

By Bobbie

March 28, 2008 12:54 PM | Link to this

i’m single/no kids and he should be too. not trying to get with or meet a divorced man.

By BeautifulBlogVestFastened

March 28, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this

Attention

would you do me a favor and meet me for a late lunch so we can discuss this problem you have? i’m ready when you are.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 1:00 PM | Link to this

Drink up! Outta here got to get my swimsuite buying on! back in few…

By BeautifulBlogVestFastened

March 28, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

QC Thanks girlie! Good idea. It’s purpose is to shield me from ignorant comments.

By Attention W*******

March 28, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this

would you do me a favor and meet me for a late lunch so we can discuss this problem you have? i’m ready when you are.

Ohhhhh, I’m so scared!! Now the idiot wants to meet and have a discussion!!

Don’t suggest something you are equipped to do intelligently.(everytime you touch that keyboard you make that evident.) You are quite sad!!

By I HATE ATTENTION WHOR3S

March 28, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this

@Attention Whor3 What’s good with you stealing my name?

There is only enough room for one I HATE ATTENTION WHOR3….stop that.

By BeautifulBlogVestFastened

March 28, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

Attention

my e-mail is angeliquegeorgia@yahoo.com. send me your phone # and let’s make this happen!

By m'karyl

March 28, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

i’m single/no kids and he should be too. not trying to get with or meet a divorced man.

Not a bad thought, but it is actually becoming less common to find a single person without children. The most common first meet up question is “How many kids you got???”

By Attention W*******

March 28, 2008 1:24 PM | Link to this

It’s purpose is to shield me from ignorant comments.

I would say that the purpose is more likely to shield you because you really know how stupid and irrelevant your comments are!! We all thought that you had finally decided to stop abusing us with your stupidity but…. Here you go again!! LOL

You are quite sad…

By QueDogTeaching

March 28, 2008 1:25 PM | Link to this

What up Blog Said while speed blogging, and hoping for a long slow weekend.

On-Topic When I turned 25 my father told me that at this new age dating would be different. He told me that I was about to meet women that had been married, divorced, had kids, been abused, and walked on. So no longer will you meet the girl who is a virgin, or have had only one boyfriend, and is all innocent. Then he said, you can do one of two things, go find a young girl and go through years of trying to raise her, or get a mature woman and accept her for who she is and what she has been through. Take your pick. Just know what you will and will not accept.

For me it is pretty simple. Having multiple marriages would be a point to make me raise an eyebrow. Just like multiple baby daddies out of wedlock.

But it really depends on the Who, What, Why, When and Where of the situation.

Ared & Darrell Just get a room and get it over with. The S3xual tension is killing you both!

By BeautifulBlogVestFastened

March 28, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this

Attention

i just checked and no e-mail yet. waiting … … .

By M.

March 28, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

@QueDogTeaching

Good post. It really puts everything into perspective for me now. Thanks!

By Attention W*******

March 28, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

@Attention Whor3 What’s good with you stealing my name?

Because I like it!! :-)

Besides, I let you keep the ‘I hate’ LOL

By Witholding Name Just to Fit In

March 28, 2008 1:40 PM | Link to this

Isn’t it amazing that where there is no throat gnashing eye jabbing fighting, there is very little blogging.

Seriously. I have noticed lately as long as the blog fights go on the comments hit 250 or better. There goes to show that some people can only comment and/or respond in hatred and disdain. Other than that the conversation dies.

By NoName

March 28, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this

Wouldn’t it be fun-knee if Wise broke out with who’s who. lmfao!

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 1:50 PM | Link to this

And hell naw I am not scared to say who I am.

By DasV

March 28, 2008 1:52 PM | Link to this

M’K is that you?? good to read ya i understand the sentiment of your post…. and would add that now-n-days after 33yrs of age… if you dont have children or havent been married, you are not only the oddball but everyone is looking at you suspect.

i am guilty of it with ppl i meet who meet that criteria. but tho there are a lot of fish in the sea… most aint worth trynna catch… so i know personally i need to stop faulting the child-less single folk amoung us.

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this

LOL Bella called somebody out not too long ago. She didn’t say who it was but she let it me be known that they were a regular and also made mention to the nature of their posts.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this

No Name

What do you mean “who’s who”? I’ve never observed this before. What is it exactly? Sounds interesting. :-)

By m'karyl

March 28, 2008 1:59 PM | Link to this

Sistah DasV:

Hey to ya”!! GLad to see you did not get caried off to OZ and all!!! It is so true. I think what it really funny is that I am almost 48 and my daughter is almost 25. I do not know if ppl are more shocked that I only had one child and I do not intend to have any more, or that I am not a grandmother yet-and will not be any time soon. It’s like- ain’t you old enough to be a great-grandmother now??? LOL

By FromALongTimeAgo

March 28, 2008 1:59 PM | Link to this

and i know the choir will sing…but you guys are attacking each other and carrying all of this negativity into Wise Diva’s blog…This group of people are very different from when it was Wise Diva and Mia…at least back then the attacks were not so vicious…

you guys are sucking the life out of the topic by going after each other instead of speaking on topic…

Of course you will have something to say smart for those that speak their mind but i needed to express the change i see…so shaking my head, these comments are not funny they are vicious when you don’t even know half the people on here…and shouldn’t let them get to you…its just words on a screen…

By Maddy

March 28, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this

Bobbie I prefer NOT to meet guys w/o kids. I’m not trying to get pregnant again.

By Demi

March 28, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

mamalongleggs sista girl, I am working OT this weekend…work, save..work, save…repeat..or is the slave,save..save,slave…LOL

But I am so looking forward to spenting sometime with my son.

Ared & Darrell:

I’m gonna take my time mmime! She gon’ get hers before I… I’m gonna take it slow..ow..oo..ow, I’m not gonna rush to stroll, so she can get a… Sensual seduction-duction so she can get a.. Sensual seduction-duction ooh whoa! So she can get a sensual seduction-duction duction Sensual seduction-duction ooh whoa!

She might be with him, but shes thinking bout me, me, meee, We gon’ go to the mall, we gon’ go out to eat, eat, eeeeat, And all that we ever do is play the machine-chine-chiiine, Smoke us a cigarette, and go back to sleep, sleep, sleep, so we can get a!

[ chorus ] Sensual seduction-duction Sensual seduction-duction ooh whoa! ooh whoa! Sensual seduction-duction duction Sensual seduction-duction ooh whoa! Im gonna take my time mmime! She gon’ get hers before I… I’m gonna take it slow..ow..oo..ow, I’m not gonna rush to stroll,

If ya dont know right know, doggy-dog is a freak,freak,freak! I keep a Bad B-ish with me seven days of the week, week, week! And all that we ever do is play the machine-chine-chiiine, Smoke us a cigarette, and go back to sleep, sleep, sleep, so we can get a!

[ chorus ]

I was all in da clup sippin some jin smokin on a benadrome when I Peeped this little h*e out, I was all in a bum and drifter, shorty then Came, then she hit da floor know, with a see through dress long hair Light broen eyes lookin like ms. O.P, and a n1gga know if I take her Home with dem wide aZZ hips and you damn right im gon’ be, so Hot-uh! Goes da chick with da real pretty face, big aZZ booty and ity-bity Waist I whispered in her ear little mama what you drink? I know you a Freak, but you knoe I aint gon’ say sh1t, see my game is Outrageous, I got it tippin crippin exchange and f2ck faces, but it Aint no use to rush da bus Cause I wouldnt want to have her to rush!

[ chorus ]

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

QDT - Good grief dude. Why can’t two people disagree or debate without pulling the “sexual tension” card. That argument is tired and completely not applicable.

SexyLeggs - I hope you didn’t take my post to you as a personal attack. I know you made the best decision for you, I was just presenting another viewpoint. :-)

By DasV

March 28, 2008 2:07 PM | Link to this

M’K that is why we are kindred spirits… cause you dont just go along wit the norm cause its the stated norm…. and you obviously have raised your daughter to think for herself as well.

i used to believe in deathless individuality…. i often it hard to these days. bec everyone settles for and expects the low standard of living most of society operates on.

smh @ it all. but grinnin at you maintaining what makes you you. ~one love!

By SexyLeggs

March 28, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this

Ok, lighten up! Who wants to play spin the bottle w/me.

Foots/Cemeeli/Staceye - Mint Julip Now and Laters for you!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 2:09 PM | Link to this

LongTimeAgo “and shouldn’t let them get to you”

Good advice. I realize this is a blog, but I wish this were more like the message boards I help administer for the Atlanta Falcons. One of the features we have there is an ‘ignore’ feature where you can place specific people on “ignore” and not even see the posts they make. Definitely helps cut down on the less significant banter.

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this

FromALongTimeAgo I suspect it’s that “Blog breakfast” they be bringing up in here. The shyt is laced with envy and strife. Gotta be something.

I don’t go back to the very beginning, but I do remember the days where there were more debates and less cat fights.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 2:11 PM | Link to this

Demi Man, you crayzee!!! LOL!!!!

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

LOLDemi I hear ya on the slave save save slave thing. I work my butt off and I need some down time ya know, How bout I save that rebate check that’s coming in the mail in May.

How old is your son?

By m'karyl

March 28, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

On topic: I think that some ppl do carry the multiple altar trip too far. I have a sistah friend that I drink with at a local wateringhole and she mentioned to me that one of her acquaintances that I met in there has been married 7 times( and I do not think that she is as old as I am). I was like WTF!!! When is too many times, really too many??? And it is not like that ofay girl be the bang and all-just blonde wit big knockers, so my gues is that her lips and mouth must be the rockers-lol!!

By SexyLeggs

March 28, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

Thank you FromALongTimeAgo..these comments are not funny they are vicious when you don’t even know half the people on here…and shouldn’t let them get to you…its just words on a screen…

By Demi

March 28, 2008 2:15 PM | Link to this

m’karyl hey Queen, hope things are well with you.

pulling out a pen and paper

What is your daughter’s name again?

m’karyl is now drop kicking Demi to La La Land

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 2:15 PM | Link to this

LongTimeAgo - Good post, especially the last paragraph. :-)

By SexyLeggs

March 28, 2008 2:16 PM | Link to this

ARed, I knew you were expressing another viewpoint.

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

Darrell I have an ignore feature. It’s called seeing their moniker. Just like I ask people to skip on by my comments that don’t like what I have to say. I do the same with others. It’s nothing personal just a choice.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this

Que what your dad told you stands true to this day. Times has changed to where you not only have to ask how many kids she has but how many times she’s been pregnant.

By Kym

March 28, 2008 2:19 PM | Link to this

Lawd..now we are playing meet me outside on the playground at 5:00PM.

Rolling eyes Good grief..will this be on YOUTube.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

Truth - Going back to your 10:55. I accepted your dare. I remember two different instances but I can’t remember which blog topic there were so I will throw in the towel. Which means I’ll have to take back what I said! LOL. So I take it back.

But what makes you think that any of us couldn’t be married right now if we wanted it. You said you could be married this saturday if you wanted to. So could I. So that’s not the issue. I do want to be married…to the right person. I’m not of the thought there are no good men. There are plenty of them but not all of them are the one for me.

There is nothing “wrong” with us because we don’t settle for just anyone to marry. That’s what’s right about us. And it’s exactly why we ARE holding ourselves to a higher standard.

Maybe I just see things as half full, or maybe I haven’t been put through the ringer enough to see it your way.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

Raqi ^5 to you 2:17. ;-)

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

I have an ignore feature. It’s called seeing their moniker. Just like I ask people to skip on by my comments that don’t like what I have to say. I do the same with others. It’s nothing personal just a choice.

LOL Exactly.

By m'karyl

March 28, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this

Shout out Demi

I am well thanks for asking. My daughter’s name is Erica Nicole. And right now she be the one. She just moved to the burbs of Chicago last year, has a great job with Hewitt (some HR firm and that is her major),thinking about grad school and living. So she be like baby who and what, yeah an “OPC” so I can giveit back to the peeps it belongs too-lol!!

By FromALongTimeAgo

March 28, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

@Darrell, Raqi, SexyLeggs and AmazonRed…peace love and hugs…thank you for not attacking me like pit bulls on raw red meat…

hope everyone has a fantastic weekend…I’ll be working my PartTime this weekend making that commission on selling ladies shoes…so come on out and help keep the macy’s employees employed!

canna a sistah get a amen?! ;-)

By QueDogTeaching

March 28, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this

Ared Soro come on admit it, every since football season when Darell Posted his pic, you have been flirting with him. I remember it because I was like dang Soro likes the intellectual dudes. So it’s cool. And guess what, he fits your criteria. He is single, has his own, and obviously can stimulate you mentally. Just my thoughts

LOl Darell now passing Que a liter of Henny, a case of Bud Light, and a MLB head nod

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

LOL See how easy it is to get grown people back on track. Now if it could just remain that way.

Right before Mia left it seemed that every topic she posted got pinned down, dissected and counted as dung. That same thing has been happening a lot lately. (WiseDiva don’t you go no where. At least not yet.)

I mean people fail to see the irony, humor, inference that lie in a lot of the entries. But instead start beating the topic down right off the bat. Really it all is just something to give thought to and partly entertainment. I think that’s all it is. WiseDiva?? Bella?? correct me if I’m wrong.

By SexyCool

March 28, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

raqi…i have that same ignore feature…it’s amazing how well it works…lol…

on topic…i will echo the sentiments of some others…multiple marriages is like multiple co-parenting situations…they are bound to make me look at you sideways and question your decision making ability as well as your ability to commit…

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

AAAHHHH Damn did somebody say Shoes and Macys!!!

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

I guess yall can tell I am not doing a darn thing at work. Imma hit yall with some futile facts in sec.

By Cemeeli

March 28, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

Good to read you M’Karyl. Are you in Atlanta?

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

QDT - Sorry. I’ve never seen Darrell’s pic nor have I been to his website. I don’t flirt with him either. You probably have me confused with another poster.

He doesn’t fit my dating criteria either.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

LongTimeAgo “thank you for not attacking me like pit bulls on raw red meat…”

You’re welcome, but it’s not my nature to attack, especially not in a virtual environment such as this, where I have no vested interest in anyone here (with the exception of QC.) So, it’s all good. :-) Have a good weekend and thanks, again, for being the voice of reason!

By abc

March 28, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

Mo, the ‘settling’ generalization illustrates what I’m talking about — and things like bigamy aren’t really to be seriously considered as a common cause of women wishing for a divorce. I’m not talking about extremes; I’m talking about the norm.

Men adapt, that’s right; how do you negotiate a compromise with a woman who’s allergic to the word ‘compromise’? Why, that would be ‘settling’. Most men won’t even try. We realize that when it gets to that point, it’s not about rationale, it’s about a woman’s emotional commitment to her viewpoint, and that point of view changes constantly.

Divorce is mostly about a woman’s discontent with whatever it is, and not extremes of prolonged or chronic unemployment, cheating, bigamy, physical abuse, etc. I’m talking about how women will grow weary of anything and will walk, no matter what it is, and men aren’t like that. Thus, of divorcing couples, women file well over 2/3’s of the time. It turns the conventional perspective of men being reluctant to commit on its ear, because it illustrates that once in the commitment, women are least likely to honor it.

By SexyLeggs

March 28, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

I’m over thinking is there a “blog discount” if we help you w/those commissions????

By NoName

March 28, 2008 2:40 PM | Link to this

If a little common sense was used over at AJC, they would only allow one comment per blog. That way there’s no back and forth. Duh!!! Say what you gotta say and be done with it.

By Staceye

March 28, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

DasV to co-sign on your 12:52 about children knowing when parents just going through the motions….I have 3 cousins who would always say, “why don’t mom and dad just ger divorced all ready”! They are still togther and all the kids are now grown…but it’s bad when kids want the divorce because of all the fighting and tension!

M’Karyl but it is actually becoming less common to find a single person without children. The most common first meet up question is “How many kids you got Tell me about it! I have none and I prefer a guy with none. But finding that these days is like finding a White woman at the Million Man March!

So she be like baby who and what, yeah an “OPC” so I can giveit back to the peeps it belongs to I so agree with your daughter..we are in the same frame of mind!

Sexyleggs Who wants to play spin the bottle w/me? Um how many guys will there be and are the cute? LOL

By m'karyl

March 28, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

There is nothing “wrong” with us because we don’t settle for just anyone to marry. That’s what’s right about us. And it’s exactly why we ARE holding ourselves to a higher standard

Amen!!!! Sistah ARed. There is nothing wrong with applying sound criteria to why or why not another person is suitable to be with in order to make a committment. I have never been married and truly do not beleive that I will ever do so; but I am ok with that b/c I would rather not marry and be content to have an emotionally happy life than to marry and be emotionally unhappy, etc. and then divorce. I have also learned that it is less about the other and whether or not their lifestyle works with mine as it is that I like what I d,o the way I do ita nd it ain’t changing. So if it don’t fit-don’t force it. It may just well be me digging me in my space as it is…

By Demi

March 28, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

Darrell dude, I don’t why I even posted that song…I just know you sister has a ‘Rick James’ tight’n’cape waiting for me LOL…My balls are hurting just thinking of that tight mess*

mama My boy is 3 and badda than mutha right now, I am like..where did I go wrong? LOL. He is a very smart kid.

m’karyl Awwwwwwwww, you sound like a very proud mother. You’ve rise her well…too bad she is a bit young for me.

Demi likes them mature’n’sexy wit it, LOL

By For Real

March 28, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

Dedicating the 15 mins of songs to the ladies on the blog. I hope this first uplift some of you:

(It’s like I dont care about nothing man….. roll another blount)All yea! wwwwwoooohhhhh !!!! Yea! Yea! Yea!

I was gonna clean my room until I got high

I was gonna get up and find the broom but then I got high

My room is still messed up and I know why (Why man?) - because I got high, because I got high, because I got high

I was gonna go to class before I got high

I coulda cheated and I coulda passed but I got high

I am taking it next semester and I know why (Why man?) - because I got high, because I got high, because I got high

I was gonna go to work but then I got high

I just got a new promotion but I got high

Now I’m selling dope and I know why (Why man?) - because I got high, because I got high, because I got high

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

Raqi “I guess yall can tell I am not doing a darn thing at work. Imma hit yall with some futile facts in sec.”

Kind of reminds me of the time you were really sleepy one day and kept posting song lyrics and other meaningless stuff all day long! That was hilarious! LOL! You had me rollin’ over here. LOL! :-)

By Staceye

March 28, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

Demi your lil’ man is so cute! He was sizing me up! LOL

By DasV

March 28, 2008 2:47 PM | Link to this

abc theres checking out literally (divorce) and theres checking out mentally, emotionally, physically… and that is what men do. they are never the first to say ‘divorce’…. but that speaks to a man being uncomfortable (imma say that insteada ‘incapable) with owning a situtation that warrants divorce.

do be trynna put divorce all on us… not even 2/3

By For Real

March 28, 2008 2:47 PM | Link to this

For Real now walking up to his main man QDT with an empty Big Gulp cup and some napkins.

By QueDogTeaching

March 28, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

WoW MaLong How many times has she been pregnant, unless it has caused her to no longer be able to have babies that is one of those questions I would really not want the real answer on. Just like how many men have you been with? There is never a right answer, even one is one to many.

And you said you are 5’4” with long legs. Que now imagining stilettos, and short shorts.

By SexyLeggs

March 28, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

That’s funny Darrell. For some reason I drove to work this morning thinking of the same post when she posted her sleep number because she was tired. WOW!

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 2:56 PM | Link to this

oh how precious Demi 3 is a tender age and man can they be curious looking at errthang you do. Always watching LOL

By BeautifulBlogVestFastened

March 28, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

Kym i was proving a point. but of course i was down if she was.

off to bojangles for breakfast.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

QDT The latter part of your 2:31 comment to Amazon brings to mind a question that I’d like to pose to all the Blog ladies:

Question: Is there ever an instance when it’s not enough for you that a man be single, “have his own” (job, car, house, etc.), be reasonably attractive and relatively intelligent and communicative? Does that pretty much cover it or is there ever a time when those things still aren’t enough for you?

By Demi

March 28, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

Staceye that lil dude has a thing for brown-tone and chocolate women. High yella sisters get no play from him.

I was like Dayum, he is cold.

By abc

March 28, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

Facts are facts, women file for divorce over 2/3’s of the time. I don’t make up the statistics, I just read them. They bear out in my personal experiences.

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

SexyCool I haven’t been around as long as you but long enough to learn how to skip, hop and jump. LOL

By m'karyl

March 28, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli Naw, I am still in South Hampton. I am adjusting to the pathetic pubtrans here-it makes the ATL look the NYC-lol!! But it is cool.

Hey Staceye

Yeah, the young lady has a good head on her shoulders and all. She really grew up living in IL with my peeps and with the same community of extended family I came up in. I though that was a better option than trying to raise her in the ATL with me as a single parent and no community (village, tribe, etc); which I really do not regret b/c the end game proved that it was a good move for her too. But she does get a good deal of her autonomous nature from me-just get up and go!!

Yeah it is hard to find someone who does not have children from some sort of previous relationship. I stopped involving myself with men who had children when I was 28. I just decided that I did not want the responsibility of being someone else’s surrogate mother if I was not able to do it for my own-h3ll to the naw!! She need shoes too!! LOL.

By QueDogTeaching

March 28, 2008 3:01 PM | Link to this

For Real Get some Ice, put the big gulp down and get a regular cup. You know Darrell didn’t think about packing a cooler. Que Now taking off his shirt and tie and putting on his gold boots. Now pulling out the charcoal and his spraying the pollen off his grill.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

Is there ever an instance when it’s not enough for you that a man be single, “have his own” (job, car, house, etc.), be reasonably attractive and relatively intelligent and communicative? Does that pretty much cover it or is there ever a time when those things still aren’t enough for you?

Darrell - 99% of the guys I date have all that criteria. That’s the very basics. We all know it takes much more to actually have a connection and be compatible.

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 3:03 PM | Link to this

Yall talking about my sleep number bed, but did yall know that it takes exactly 23 seconds to deflate a number from 75 to 5 when there is a 217 pound sleeping man laying on it. 23 Seconds exactly.

Did you all also know that he will wake up with major body aches and angrier than a mugg after sleeping like that all night.

That’s futile fact #1.

By Attention W*******

March 28, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

i was proving a point.

The idiot thinks she proved a point!! Tell us, do you use drugs or something?

Nobody could naturally be that stupid!! sigh

By The Truth

March 28, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

I come back and all hell breaks loose. LOL

*IG what’s up beautiful?

Ared I accept you submitting but next time lower your head when you do it. LOL My point is if you really want to be married put some work into it. Start trying to find out the inner workings and trials that current married people go thru. It’s not that easy or everyone would be doing it. Further, even if you got 2 great people together the laws of marriage are straight fugged up. Their are 2 major power shifts: 1) The marriage-a guy hands over partial control of his existence to a sometime irrational being 2) Kids- a man hands his entire financial future and mental being over to an irrational being and what she ultimately wanted anyway, that child. There really isn’t much upside for a man to go thru it. Life is just better without it. My .02 If you can find a guy that feels otherwise I say go for it but really I think most people in here would get married and divorced within the same week. We’re just not built for that kind of work anymore. As i said we’re all “selfish b******* masquerading as nice people.”

Also, you’ve missed my point again. I never said something was wrong with you. I am saying if you really wanted it you’d be out working to make it happen. Match.com isn’t work, it’s like this blog and Jerry Springer, fun to watch but over the long haul probably not going to make you a better person or more marketable. Let’s just say that while alot of folks say they want money they’re not willing to do what it takes to make it. Same with marriage.

Now, is there a reason you keep getting all froggy with me? Is it because I said something about your white cotton undies?

Longtime* actually this is pretty mild compared to some of the other blogs where they get on race and whatnot. I just wish folks wouldn’t change their moniker before they post about something. I don’t mind you stabbing me but look me in the eye when you do it. SMH

By SexyLeggs

March 28, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

Darrell, your list would be complete for me if you included “respectful”, ethical, along with a healthy dosage of empathy..Ok, ladies, add to this…

By Wise Diva

March 28, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

Noname, on one hand I am tempted to agree with you because I can see how the blog spins into a virtual chat room with people commenting to each other.

Then again, I have been around for a minute or two, and some of the most touching, profound, and insightful comments were not on topic, not dating related, and not always from the regular blog cast. So, basically, what I am trying to say, it’s the nature of virtual community. People get familiar with each other (pseudo?) and familiarity breeds contempt.

At any rate, I don’t like people bashing our forum. I love these nutbags, readers and lurkers alike, even when they drive me crazy. We are far from perfect, but we are definitely all BEAUTIFULLY HUMAN. So back off the criticism and try to find the good in the community/forum that we have (or not, your call). I promise, the moment people stop making the blog their personal dumping ground, they can see it for what it really is, a social gathering spot to swap ideas and see another perspective from people we wouldn’t have met anywere else.

Diva hops off her soapbox

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 3:08 PM | Link to this

Amazon “99% of the guys I date have all that criteria…”

So, um, if that’s the case….nevermind. Forget it. LOL!

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this

abc Could the fact of the one who actually files be that they are the one that got tired of the lifelong bs first? You know men can sometimes just not give-a-damn.

By Staceye

March 28, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this

M’Karyl I ain’t mad atcha’ mami!

By QC

March 28, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

DJ, D D D D Demi on the 1&2’s

Your Red & Black Rick James cape & tights with matching boots will be ready next thursday after 2pm. I’ll have them delivered to ya honey bun

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this

Darrell that fact that he is mean as a rattle snake or has breath that smells like fried manure can cancel out all of that?

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this

Que I feel ya on that, I wouldn’t want to be asked how many times I have been pregnant. but you’ve got to agree some people asks some crazy questions. A buddy of mine is hard about asking the women he meet that question. I can see why he would ask though, If you don’t want to answer just say nunya business

Que now imagining stilettos, and short shorts meowwwwwww

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this

My point is if you really want to be married put some work into it. Start trying to find out the inner workings and trials that current married people go thru.

That’s just it Truth, you keep assuming things with no merit. How do you know the women on here AREN’T doing that?

Online dating is just one more AVENUE in which to meet people. The chances of success in meeting your potential mate are better if you cast a wider net. There are 5 million users on Match.com. You keep knocking things you don’t try.

Thirdly, I haven’t been getting “froggy” with you. I CHALLENGE people who make profound statements and expect them to back what they say up instead of folding like a cheap lounge chair. That’s what I like about this blog, the exchage of vastly different ideas and varying viewpoints. Unfortunately, some people take challenges of their words as personal attacks. I can’t help those who do this, but I did take you as one who could handle being questioned on what you say.

By IslandGirl

March 28, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

abc I must also disagree with your slanted point of view that it is primarily the woman’s fault for divorce. Let us consider your argument, “I’m talking about how women will grow weary of anything and will walk, no matter what it is, and men aren’t like that. Thus, of divorcing couples, women file well over 2/3’s of the time.“ Men who “cannot” or “do not want” to endure the financial hurt of divorce will be more reluctant to file. On the other hand, women that are unhappy, and utterly exhausted would sacrifice everything and file for divorce. The numbers does not indicate women are the cause for divorce (I know better). To take this thought even further, women are more prone to the idea of marriage- than men. I don’t think a majority of women go into marriage thinking about divorce.

In the same sense, men also grow weary of marriage. We can easily argue that divorce due to infidelity has a higher occurrence caused by men. Without going on, statistically financial trouble is the leading cause of divorce.

By SexyCool

March 28, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

darrell…if a dude has all that…then of course he is enough…

but most often…i used to run into a LOT of dudes that thought that they REALLY had it going on and thought that they were the total package…when in reality…they were just super extra regular dudes that were lacking in some area…and quite frankly…it was usually in the physical area…OR…they were so convinced of their own superiority that they were the boringest dudes on the planet…

By Demi

March 28, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

mama how about this:

*<———- my thoughts at the time.

Li’Demi’s world famous quotes:

ALVIN, what are you doing?

non of you business

I am HURGRY..FEED ME NOW!!!

Dude I just fed you, leave my food along

NO MORE PULL-UP!! I (A) BIG BOY!!

It’s a bout dayum time!!

Alvin..alvin..alvin..ALVIN!!!

I need to take my hearing aid off before I really go deaf

Alvin, I go to work.

at making messes for me to clean up

He does call me Daddy, but I dreads when he does…It means has really really mess something up.

By DasV

March 28, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

darrell yes… there is. when his ‘marry only in the lord’ and my ‘marry only in the lord’ dont match…. and when his ‘relative’ dont fit my relative, meaning he is smarter than a 5th grader but incapable of extracting useful information from Go Rin No Sho…. or when his job is as an exterminator or garbage man….

i know, i know…. there is NO pleasing us women LOL

but i mean seriously, would you be comfortable with a single woman with her own and relatively smart and communicative who was the main attraction at Strokers??

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

Darrell - Don’t most of the people on here fit that criteria? Chosing a mate is more than just that basic criteria. Anyone can marry a warm body.

I mean, you’d expect more from your mate then that as well…wouldn’t you?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

Raqi “Darrell that fact that he is mean as a rattle snake or has breath that smells like fried manure can cancel out all of that?”

Oh, I don’t know. Depends on the woman, I guess. LOL!

By NoName

March 28, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

Why did you take that as a personal attack? Have you visited the other blogs lately? It’s not just MIA. People are attacking each other all over this website. Everyone has an opinion. After it’s put down, people should walk away and feel that hopefully my .02 made a difference.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

Question: Is there ever an instance when it’s not enough for you that a man be single, “have his own” (job, car, house, etc.), be reasonably attractive and relatively intelligent and communicative? Does that pretty much cover it or is there ever a time when those things still aren’t enough for you? That’s still not enough for me. While all the above is fine and dangy it’s all about attitude.

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

I said that same thing last week. Those that think they are all that but can’t see their shortcoming for their own ego…

By IslandGirl

March 28, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

Truth I’ve been working hard- just happy it’s Friday. How was things with you?

By Tazzee

March 28, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

Darrell Yes, that won’t be enough if there’s no chemistry - man you HAD to see that coming.

But seriously, what you’ve described is what I call a man ‘looking good on paper’ - he could have a good ‘resume’ but we just don’t click.

Then there’s the guy that has all that and chemistry and he just doesn’t want me…

By abc

March 28, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

Raqi, perhaps sometimes that’s the case, but I think by and large, men are much more willing to do the work required to effect repair, and are obviously accustomed to either compromise or acquiescence regarding the woman in their life. Especially when children are present, and the man knows for sure that divorce means he loses his kids.

I mean, say anything you want, cite a few exceptions, but for the most part, men lose their children in divorce. It’s a big motivating factor to not get a divorce, in addition to money. But the biggest motivator to stick it out is the perspective that one can work it out with this person, or go through a very similar exercise with someone else, or simply give up altogether. The first choice makes more sense to men.

Once a man commits, most are in it for life. Once a woman commits, most are in it until they decide they don’t like it anymore, then they’re out. Misconceptions called ‘Settling’, allegations of being incapable of ‘ownership’ of bad news, whatever; men mostly stick around, women mostly bail, 68-70% of the time.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

SexyCool “darrell…if a dude has all that…then of course he is enough…”

One would think so, right? But if this blog has taught me anything, it’s to never make assumptions. Never. So, I’m just taking a pulse check before 4:00 gets here and I bounce. ;-)

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 3:26 PM | Link to this

Que what time is the cookout sir??? Grat post Diva! ARed sistah you been holding it down! Darrell the Falcons called today will you be getting season tix…I told them to call me back…I am to tired toopen my laptop sorry fro the triple post…Que if you can hit me @ ladyj_0817@yahoo.com…Peace out folks! Have a great weekend!

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st.

March 28, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

WISE DIVA Who you calling a NUTBAG….LOL..I resent that! lmao!

Ared/Truth Ared I guess you can not tell when you are arguing with the mentally challenged. It’s written in all of his posts. He compares the behavior of humans to the training of dogs….Come on! You know something is not right! lol. Truth attempt is to brainwash men and women alike to be miserable and lonely like he is working his way too. He wants the perfect wife but has OPENLY admit to going half azz in relationships himself. He has proclaimed he is not about nothing. Several times!! But he wants this stand up wifey by his side through his frequent ROID rages….I am not buying all the stinky crap Truth is selling! He loves the fact he can hear himself talk so he is going to say and believe all the obnoxious things his sick mind can come up with! You get what you give..Whatever you put out is what you get! His breath smells like hot garbage so he gets $HIT!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

Que what time is the cookout sir??? Grat post Diva! ARed sistah you been holding it down! Darrell the Falcons called today will you be getting season tix…I told them to call me back…I am to tired toopen my laptop sorry fro the triple post…Que if you can hit me @ ladyj_0817@yahoo.com…Peace out folks! Have a great weekend!

By GaMan

March 28, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

GaMan walks in with a case of Chicken….here you go Frat…throw that on the grill

GaMan walks in Proudly wearing his Gold and Purple Omega Psi Phi till the day I die

By Kym

March 28, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this

Question: Is there ever an instance when it’s not enough for you that a man be single, “have his own” (job, car, house, etc.), be reasonably attractive and relatively intelligent and communicative? Does that pretty much cover it or is there ever a time when those things still aren’t enough for you?

Darrell All of those things are just that things..I have met and dated and fallen in love with some really great guys who dont work what would be consider a great job it was great for them so hey if they liked it I love it. My motto was and is “employment is sexy” but also what is sexy to me..is just a guy being himself. I like to watch men..and especially the man I am with. I watch how he moves and reacts in certain situations. I watch how he responds in those trial by fire moments we all have in life and it is in those times I fall in and out of love. So having the job and being smart are not always enough when I say I want to know the man..I want to know him.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this

FUNNY Daddy Demi(Alvin) I remember those days now it’s mama can I borrow your car? Mama can you pay my cell phone bill, Mama can I eat the whole chicken LOL

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this

Tazzee “Darrell Yes, that won’t be enough if there’s no chemistry - man you HAD to see that coming.”

Of course I did. It’s called a “leading” question and I definitely had an ulterior motive for asking it. :-)

By Wise Diva

March 28, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

oh I didn’t take it as a personal attack at ALL. Just offering my two cents too :)

By Lady J

March 28, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

Que what time is the cookout sir??? Grat post Diva! ARed sistah you been holding it down! Darrell the Falcons called today will you be getting season tix…I told them to call me back…I am to tired toopen my laptop sorry fro the triple post…Que if you can hit me @ ladyj_0817@yahoo.com…Peace out folks! Have a great weekend!

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this

or when his job is as an exterminator or garbage man

Would you really shun a man who is top notch only because he clothes it with a blue collar?

Hell our trash guy is nice and a cutie. And the Orkin man don’t look too bad either. (Them darn ants) LOL

By SexyLeggs

March 28, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this

Since I have to leave early to attend this meet, let me piggyback on where I left of yesterday.

Take that walk w/your SO. Ladies, if you don’t want to go outdoors, walk to the kitchen, prop yourself up on that kitchen counter. Have foreplay w/your eyes seducing that man right in front of you. Do a “sharon stone” every so often. BAM, a good nights sleep will be had by both parties.

Yes, I actually thought of this last night and wrote it down (LOL).

Good night! Stay ALERT!!!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

LadyJ

No, I did not renew my season tickets. I just couldn’t do it. I just don’t have that fire in me like I’ve had in previous seasons. Let me know if you need tickets to any road games though, because I can get them at the same price the Falcons players pay for them.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

@Darrell if i was still in my golddiggin days I would hit a brotha up right now! ching, ching

By The Truth

March 28, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

Raqi “You know men can sometimes just not give-a-damn.” You should have changed that to most of the time men don’t give a dam. We sometimes find a woman we care for and after she starts her jedi mind tricks we give up on her too. Some give up and stay and some give up and move on. Most give up.

Ared as much as we pass info on this blog I’m sure if you ladies were making a grand effort in some area you would have shared it. Maybe I missed that post. And you know I don’t take this stuff personal. Come on and attack me if you want. I’ll be laying on my bed waiting. LOL

AbC go ahead and say it. The same woman that begs you to marry her demands 4 quarts of blood when she decides it’s not what she thought it was. That’s usually right after she gets that child. 99.9% of the time it’s just not worth the time.

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

Aw…come on Blow Me. No need to attack Truth. Feel free to poop all over his argument if you don’t agree. But don’t let his screen name rile you all up.

LOL. You always give me a laugh though. You post with much passion!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

Kym “Darrell All of those things are just that things..I have met and dated and fallen in love with some really great guys who dont work what would be consider a great job it was great for them so hey if they liked it I love it. My motto was and is “employment is sexy” but also what is sexy to me..is just a guy being himself. I like to watch men..and especially the man I am with. I watch how he moves and reacts in certain situations. I watch how he responds in those trial by fire moments we all have in life and it is in those times I fall in and out of love. So having the job and being smart are not always enough when I say I want to know the man..I want to know him.”

Amazing post! Multiple ^5^5^5^5 on that one! :-)

By m'karyl

March 28, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this

Chile, who dun stirred up de’ ho’nets nes’ in heah??? Dem’ chillin’ is a bickerin’ lak s** and sunnis, an’ all dem’ dere folks. Lawd hab mercy!!!!

By IslandGirl

March 28, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this

Raqi girl you’re telling the truth. The Orkin guy that comes by my office is hella fine- so are the Fed-ex, and Staples delivery guys. I appreciate seeing those guys come by and do their thang.

Big Ups to the hard working men!!!

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this

Lady J - Thanks for the shout out. You have a great weekend as well.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs “Do a “sharon stone” every so often…”

But without the butcher knife. LOL!

By Demi

March 28, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this

@QC Naw..Imma put it on now

She’s a very kinky girl The kind you don’t take home to mother She will never let your spirits down Once you get her off the street, ow girl

She likes the boys in the band She says that I’m her all-time favorite When I make my move to her room it’s the right time She’s never hard to please

{Refrain} That girl is pretty wild now The girl’s a super freak The kind of girl you read about In new-wave magazine That girl is pretty kinky The girl’s a super freak I really love to taste her Every time we meet She’s all right, she’s all right That girl’s all right with me, yeah She’s a super freak, super freak She’s super-freaky, yow

Super freak, super freak

She’s a very special girl The kind of girl you want to know

From her head down to her toenails Down to her feet, yeah And she’ll wait for me at backstage with her girlfriends In a limousine Going back in Chinatown

Three’s not a crowd to her, she says “Room 714, I’ll be waiting” When I get there she’s got incense, wine and candles It’s such a freaky scene

{Refrain}

{Bridge}

Temptations sing! Ohhhhh Super freak, super freak That girl’s a super freak Ohhhhh

She’s a very kinky girl The kind you don’t take home to mother She will never let your spirits down Once you get her off the street, ow..

now dry hump the ground, as if getting some

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st.

March 28, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

Darell Question: Is there ever an instance when it’s not enough for you that a man be single, “have his own” (job, car, house, etc.), be reasonably attractive and relatively intelligent and communicative? Does that pretty much cover it or is there ever a time when those things still aren’t enough for you?

No Darrell it is not. Is he a liar? How many kids does he have? Those are a few of my key questions. It’s not like you men are just taking any ole thing. But that is a wonderful start though. lol!

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

abc 9 times out of 10, that I have seen, the man divorces the woman emotionally and sometimes financially, before she gets the notion to do it physically.

Of most of the people that I know that are divorced, the man became detached emotionally first and then physically scarce second. Leaving the woman to care for those “kids” alone. And in some of those instances he had already taken up a new family on the other side. And that’s not just referring to another woman, that could be anything. We as humans can find haven in whatever we allow our minds to entertain. Drugs, alcohol, tytti-bars, jobs. Hell you can desert your spouse for the very television sitting right there in the room where you lay your head beside theirs.

And this goes for women and men alike.

By Black Girl

March 28, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

My cup runneth over…from a beautiful experience that overtook me last night.

Wonderful topic yesturday Wise Diva.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this

Hey, Island Girl, just because I don’t use a hand truck doesn’t mean I don’t work hard. LOL!

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this

Truth - I mean, are you looking for “effort” everytime women post? I mean, you say this stuff, and it doesn’t apply to me in any way, but I just feel you may say it to get a rise out of someone. Or maybe you want them to step up their game?

And you are still nutso. That attack comment was funny.

By abc

March 28, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this

I don’t buy it, Raqi. It’s not my experience, nor the experience of many other people I’ve known, and studies and statistics don’t bear that out.

By m'karyl

March 28, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this

Peace out until the next time good ppl. I mean nutbags, i mean… oh well, you know what I mean-lol!! Have a good and safe weekend!!!! About now I am missing teh ATL in the spring…enjoy!!!!!

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st.

March 28, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

ARED/Truth He is the greatest stress reliever while I am at work. I wish I could take him home and pounce all of him when I get stressed out. LOL! He attacks everyone I am just giving him what he gives out. It’s easy to make funnies on Truth It’s too irresistible.

By IslandGirl

March 28, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

Darrell I love you too.

Big Up to all my hard working men (sitting at a computer and all) lol

By Demi

March 28, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this

mama wow, how old are yours?

By Raqi

March 28, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this

And I am not saying it is always the man because I have run into some shrewd woman, but most of the time, for whatever reason the guy checks out first. And it is usually said what the woman ain’t doing for them no more. But if you are that unhappy you file the papers. Or give her a reason to still want you one.

By Staceye

March 28, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

NoName would you happen to be MyTwoCents? LOL

By cool breeze

March 28, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

I’d give them one time and if the term of “starter marriage” ever came out their mouth then they wouldn’t get any chance with me at all.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

March 28, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

IslandGirl “Big Up to all my hard working men (sitting at a computer and all)”

LOL! :-)

By abc

March 28, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this

Oh, I see… give her a reason as in positive motivation, as opposed to taking no action due to the negative repercussions she promises? Because at that juncture, women sure wouldn’t be willing to consider that it’s them that need to step up and give the man a reason to want her. Nah. It’s always the man, according to women. But statistically, it just isn’t true.

Yall pick on Truth all you want. His 3:36 was blunt, but totally on-point.

By GaMan

March 28, 2008 4:07 PM | Link to this

Ok I am out Me and LiL GaMan

are hanging out…watch out World

remember to Love yourself

And if you have problems…take them to GOD He can fix anything, and you can take that to the Bank

Listening to Michael Baisden the other day and he said…We never take time to thank those who help you in your daily lives

So even though i don’t always agree with everything said here… Thank you All

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this

Demi 15, a good young man too. I haven’t had the problem with him and the baggy pants that most wear past their butts. I just don’t get that concept. He minds his manners at home and away. That’s why I don’t name a big fuss when he eats the whole chicken LOL

By Demi

March 28, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this

Big Up to all my hard working men (sitting at a computer and all) lol

IG I was about to put on a FedEX uniform right quick…LOL, I knew what you meant

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 4:15 PM | Link to this

abc - You stated you’ve been divorced twice. What was the reason for the demise of your marriages? (if I may ask).

By Demi

March 28, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

mama A growing boy needs food…How about my son love saving pennys, dimes, and quarters…Only to get me to buy him candy.

I am like DUDE, that is still my money, LOL

A funny thought, I do enjoy dating women with kids.

By QC

March 28, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND BLOGGERS…DEMI, THANKS FOR THE MUSIC…HOLLA

QC has left blog

By BeautifulBlogVestFastened

March 28, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

i’m gonna miss bojangles, zaxby’s and mrs. winners when i leave. omg.

on topic: my max on divorces is probably one. more than that will probably scare me off. but i can’t judge because i have two baby daddys. one who is 100% there for me day or night and one i can’t find. he’s somewhere in FL or CA. i tell this info straight up, so if the guy who i’m dating wants to jet, this is the time. peace homie.

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

Has anyone been to Orange beach Alabama? Just want a heads up of what to expect this weekend.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

March 28, 2008 4:22 PM | Link to this

Raqi/abc The whole thing with divorces and those stats is tricky. abc I know you stated that your experiences as well as the stats is what shapes your stated opinion. Now I havent known many men to file for divorce but I have known many men who simply said “I wasnt going to file so I let her do it” or they werent open to any type of counseling. Now I dont dispute that majority women file for divorce. Like you said, most women win out. But sometimes the men just werent the ones to file. Not that they dont agree or didnt want to, they just didnt. They allowed the wife to call it quits. And in some cases that becomes the she left me cause. Women file, but like I said earlier, I am sure the causes differ. If men, such as yourself, disagree then help change the stats. Instead of staying for the kids, stay for your marriage. Plenty folks remain married for the kids, yet the marriage is still a wreck. So who benefitted?

In divorces, no one is the non-guilty party. True some folks have ulterior motives (women having kids to be taken care of, marrying for money, etc) but that says something about both individuals, not just the one with the ulterior motive

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

Cool we might have to make a date! @ Demi

By Wise Diva

March 28, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

Thanks Black Girl :)

I didn’t mean to offend anyone with the nutbag name, LOL..it’s a term of endearment, really, and it’s kind of true..we can get nutso, when we want to! I include myself, of course !

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st.

March 28, 2008 4:39 PM | Link to this

Wisediva I knew it was a joke. Just joshing around. We all know Truth is the NUTBAG!

By Demi

March 28, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this

mama cool hit me up demigod33@yahoo.com

By IslandGirl

March 28, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this

Mo ^5 on that post- well said. Majority of divorced men I’ve spoken with said they waited for their ex to file- as if to put blame on her for the divorcing him. Any which way you look at this argument, men and women will have differing opinions.

We can’t even touch the issue of how inbalanced the justice system is regarding custoday and support.

Anyway, everyone have a blessed weekend.

By For Real

March 28, 2008 4:44 PM | Link to this

For Real returns to QDT with Big Gulp full of ice. QDT where is the chaser?

For Real now putting on a size husky UPS uniform and drives to IG’s house. What can brown do for you?

By mamalongleggs

March 28, 2008 4:48 PM | Link to this

Have a nice weekend Everyone Got it Demi

By abc

March 28, 2008 4:55 PM | Link to this

I’d rather not publish all that on a public blog, AR. Suffice to say that while I share the blame (since there always has to be blame it seems) I was willing to try and work things out, but they weren’t. It had nothing to do with money, abuse, cheating, or anything like that. In the end I just agreed to whatever they wanted in the divorce.

By SexyCool

March 28, 2008 4:57 PM | Link to this

may the most you wish for be the least you get…

By The Truth

March 28, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

Tatas thanks for your help. ave a great weekend.

By IslandGirl

March 28, 2008 4:59 PM | Link to this

Real well, you can start by fixing the brakes on my truck. Dayum thing started grinding yesterday. I just love a man that is good with his hands.

By IslandGirl

March 28, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

Real well, you can start by fixing the brakes on my truck. Dayum thing started grinding yesterday. I just love a man that is good with his hands.

By Demi

March 28, 2008 5:02 PM | Link to this

Good Night All

By Wise Diva

March 28, 2008 5:05 PM | Link to this

Guys, thanks for a wonderful week, Ireally enjoyed the discussions. I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

By AmazonRed

March 28, 2008 5:05 PM | Link to this

abc - Thanks for sharing. You seem like a fair guy.

Have a good weekend everyone.