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DEL.ICIO.USNo Sex in the City
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
As if I don’t already swoon over Lenny Kravitz enough, the rock star has gone on record that he is abstaining from sex. Kravitz recently told The Sun: “The women have got to come with something else, not just the body, but the mind and spirit. It trips them out, but I’m looking at the big picture.” Oh yes, his sexy quotient just went through the roof. How hot is that?!
I have some guy friends that have a similar stance as Lenny. They think the casual thing is fine, but finding someone who is just as appealing outside the bedroom, is very important to them too. Many of them have the same desires to have meaningful relationships as women do.
Lenny, who is 43-years old, claims that he hasn’t had sex for the past three years. You know what? I believe him! He certainly has NO need to lie to get laid. I mean, this a hot shot, with plenty of options. This further affirms my belief that not all single people are controlled by their hormones. Yes, we like sex, but intimacy with someone we feel a connection with is worth the wait for many of us.
You may have heard about the 30 day challenge for married couples. I wondered if single people could try a 30 day dating challenge to abstain. How do you think your dating could change? Could you handle 30 days of sexless dating?
Topic suggestion by: “M”
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Comments
By GaMan
March 26, 2008 8:15 AM | Link to this
Good Morning
Today’s Menu:Burnt Toast,Oatmeal,Cap ‘n Crunch and Krispy Kremes water and OJ
For the record the GaMan that was stalking Tyra wasnt me
lolololol
By Turd Ferguson
March 26, 2008 8:15 AM | Link to this
Sexless dating, no thanks, I was already married once.
By I'm Playing The Cynic Today
March 26, 2008 8:16 AM | Link to this
The funny about what is going to happen today is, 99% of the men on here state nearly everyday that if the woman ain’t putting “it” (sex) out then he has no time to waste pursuing her. Now watch what happens today.
Just watch.
Oh yeah Good Morning. I am in early this morning.
By SlimOne
March 26, 2008 8:16 AM | Link to this
Morning We’ll see how this topic goes…check back in a few.
By unsure
March 26, 2008 8:21 AM | Link to this
@ANALYTICAL1 I just wanted to thank you for your response yesterday…it was good to know I wasnt completeing wrong in my thinking…he was really upset I didnt trust him & is scared Im going to put up this guard,…he’s right in his thinking…I really cant help it…
By Lady J
March 26, 2008 8:28 AM | Link to this
Morning All What an interesting topic….Be true to thy own self…We all know self…J
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
March 26, 2008 8:34 AM | Link to this
Well, well…..Mo reading today’s topic with eyebrow raised…this should be interesting. Should be quite a blog day today. I think I’ll lurk….
Hey Lady J
GAMan…I know you have been gone for a minute, but you have GOT to step up your breakfast game…
By Kym
March 26, 2008 8:37 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All,
I have gone as long as 2 years without sex so 30 days wouldn’t be hard. I am interested in seeing how the gentlemen respond today.
By Chief Wiggum
March 26, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this
Ha! Laughing at Turd Ferguson on that one. I know where you come from, I was married once, too. I’m single, and don’t get it that often, but I am not going to go three years without. Let’s face it, I get tired of my hand all the time.
By Rell
March 26, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this
sexless…….hell naw…..ooooooo hell naw….sex does not determine intimacy….at all..two different things….i once refrain from sex for a year and half….this was my find me period…i was a young reckless cat….i was spinning my wheels sticking it in every moist hole…so i chilled got back my chi and keep it moving..but i did not stop because of the women….i stopped for me, i did not feel right….maybe because i was such a late starter in the game of sex(19)….i did not fully understand what i was doing….i mean most of my sex knowledge came from porn..lol…so yeah like any good nerd i stopped and got my read…but again hell naw i could not go 30 days with out…not by choice anyway..lol
By Lady J
March 26, 2008 8:44 AM | Link to this
Hey Mo!! I will hit you up in a few…
By BeautifulBlogVestFastened
March 26, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this
I wondered if single people could try a 30 day dating challenge to abstain
Piece of cake. Been saving this gold for my new booty since July. I believe men will have a tougher time abstaining, because it’s tough for me.
How do you think your dating could change
We’ll see. Haven’t got to that point yet. Wish me luck!
Good morning. wink, wink
By Simp
March 26, 2008 8:51 AM | Link to this
I think no sex for thirty days is a great idea. I’ve met women and if you dont try to have sex with them they wants to know whats wrong. Personally. I think when can abstain from sex, especially when you first meet. Give yourself time to build something. Sex will damage a relationship. I think no sex can strengten a relationship.
By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st.
March 26, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All
* Juicy sweet Oranges and grapes for all*
I think that is an excellent idea. I can easily go 6 mths without having sex. So 30 days is a walk in the park. Sometimes single ppl do need to refresh their minds and refocus their thought process.
Sex clouds one’s GOOD judgement. It’s funny cause I had this same convo with my homie a few weeks ago. Sex is physically. But it’s more than a physically act..It’s a emotional and spirtual connection. Once you take the latter two out, it spells disaster. I don’t care how you slice it. Casual Sex…is not the business. It carries and comes with so many problems and issues.
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
March 26, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this
Lady J alright chica
Rell wassup man!
Kym I agree with you, cant wait to see what most of the Men of Blogsville have to say.
By pisces 08
March 26, 2008 9:00 AM | Link to this
Morning All. It depends…. If it’s worth it. But, I’ve been there, done that. I have to cosign Rell, after all, I’m a Pisces
By Lady J
March 26, 2008 9:01 AM | Link to this
so you say bruh…
By Raqi
March 26, 2008 9:02 AM | Link to this
I can see waiting to have sex with someone new that you just met. There should be a getting to know you stage. I went years without sex because I choose not to have sex until a relationship had been established. With the two relationships between my first and my present, I waited a couple of months before having sex.
My first was a three year wait, but I was 16 when I met him. My present…that’s a whole different story.
I was actually presented with a “no sex, better connection” challenge since I have been married. Thought was absurd to say the least. All of that should be in the beginning stages of the union, not after you are already in it with your entire being.
By SlimOne
March 26, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this
I definitely agree that it’ll be harder for men to abstain for 30 days than women…especially if the men are already sexually active with the chick they are currently dating.
My experience in the past has been, the more you do it with your SO, the more you want it…but to do the do every day for 30 days might be a little chaffing. lol! I wonder if that means actual penetration or all aspects of sex…like a hand deal here, O-ral one day, actual humping on every 3rd day or what….
By 2CPTG©
March 26, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this
Morning….
sure, I can wait on the booty….but not too long….time is relative.
have a good’un…..
By Kym
March 26, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this
You can have sex with someone without any emotional attachment. Actually I think of the whole idea of the joining of two people- as well two seperate things..There is sex,(that go for broke I am just here to get off thing) and love-making.
Love-Making is the whole connected on a emotional level feeling.
If you are just there for the go for broke feelings then you can do that with no emotional attachment to that person..while with love-making you have this feeling of emotional and spirtual satisfaction.
By Krystle
March 26, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this
The question should be rephrased to “Ready to try it God’s way?”
By enb
March 26, 2008 9:09 AM | Link to this
Sex was created for marriage. Outside of marriage it just messes things up.
By TouchMyBody
March 26, 2008 9:13 AM | Link to this
GaMan Your breakfast is wack! LOL. Here, have a Strawberry Mango Soy Milk Breakfast Smoothie with a Citrus Hazelnut Breakfast Bars and some Honey-Apple Breakfast Pancakes.
BRB.
By AmazonRed
March 26, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this
Good morning all. This blog has already given me a chuckle. 30 days of no sex is nothing. 30 days of no sex should be a piece of cake for everyone. It’s amazing how many folks are ruled by their sexual organs.
In any case, I admire Lenny and any man who is willing to wait a significant amount of time for sex. I’m talking 6 months or more. In fact, I’m looking for a guy who’d be willing to wait until marriage. If you really put God first in your life, you should try to do things His way. Just my thoughts.
WiseDiva, have your guy friends who are tired of the casual thing give me a call. LOL
By 2CPTG©
March 26, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this
Black Girl…..pay no attention to today’s topic….don’t let Diva mess up our good thang!!!
Keep that sexiassness comin’
By Binford2K8
March 26, 2008 9:20 AM | Link to this
Krystle and enb I’d try “God’s Way” but God ain’t providing, so this Jedi does what this Jedi has to do. Sorry, I don’t make a good sheep. BAH.
I wouldn’t mind waiting to be intimate. How long would that be? I don’t know. But for sure a good while.
Humans have an innate sense to breed, but the higher cognitive should put the sexual need in it’s place, if only for so long. The nookie can not blind you!
On a separate note, Lenny’s a pretty good artist IMO. Though I don’t know about the whole holding out thing!
By BeautifulBlogVestFastened
March 26, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this
enb so, no sex until marriage. ok. after y’all get hitched and sex sucks, then what?!?
By AmazonRed
March 26, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this
LOL @ all the “new” screen names posting today.
By Willie Dynamite
March 26, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this
Morning All,
Off Topic- GaMan Since you back from your worldwide book tour why don’t you get back to handling MLB business. We need a contractor to come and install that pole in the lounge at headqtrs. Gonna be a good summer round here.
On Topic- Lets see, Abstaining No. Never found a good reson to do that. never had to find myself becuz I was never lost. Since I was a younger cat (mid 20’s) I was able to separate the mind/body concept. Since that point I always wanted to get the mind first anyway. S#x never was a problem so if i wanted to really get to know a chick I got to know her mentally. The s#z part was natural once you turned the mind on. Some of this is just more BS to get some people to justify their inadequacies (I said Some People). Ya boy Lenny may need to do that for whatever reason. Prolly been lost since Denise Huxtable turned him out.
By fionna
March 26, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this
Finally, a spritual minded person has entered this blog. I agree 100% with you opinion to rephrase the question. As a woman of God, any man that wants to date me must be willing to walk the same spiritual path as I am and if he is not willing to do so he can hit the door. Sex is not what it is all cracked up to be and if a person cannot display self-control for that short period of time, it is time to get your carnal mind in check with the word of God. For more information please refer to the message that the Apostle Paul wrote in I Corinthians chapters 6-7. Be blessed!
By DasV
March 26, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this
good morning good ppl
i am about to start my 3rd year hiatus from sex. it was hard …. really hard the first nine months…. but as time went on it became a matter of not watching certain TV material (some commericials have me running for the chocolate) or lingering too long on a nice brutha in the street, etc.
thats why a pole class wouldnt be my thing. no sense stirring the pot if it aint cookin’.
i have a friend that is cool wit me texting a booty call request… he knows to ignore me. sometimes you just want someone to know you wanting some….
i pride myself in the fact that whomeva i end up with gonna love the result of my newfound level of self-discipline, my kegels and exercise.
By Raqi
March 26, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this
Kym you are correct. What so many don’t know is both are required even in a marriage. Love-making is for bonding and the sharing of yourselves and The Get-off for preventive maintenance and fun, fun, fun. But they both are de rigueur, as my grandmother would say.
Every tryst is not “romantic” if I could say. But there is a connection there because you are communicating. Whether thru heartfelt desire sex or thru wild, sweaty, falling on the floor sex. It is all de rigueur.
By Jamie
March 26, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this
Anyone can have sex.I have chosen the sexless life for longer than Lenny - and I am still holding out for the real deal.
I refuse to lower my standards just because most men have no interest in a woman that doesn’t put out. OR they want sex without making any kind of commitment. I mean what does: I like you enough to have sex with you, but not enough to stop dating others really say? HEllo! It says they don’t like you very much!!!
And I honestly don’t feel like I have missed anything - cheap meaningless sex may be fun for a minute - but it is just sad afterward.
I am glad to hear there is a man that is discerning enough not to drop his drawers every chance he gets - Go Lenny!
By Foots
March 26, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this
30 days if I’m dating someone I’m really into? I’d just have to control the amount of time we spent alone together if the chemistry was hot, plan dates outside the house or something.
I’ve had plenty of dry spells. Shoot, if I think back over the last three years, I actually average about 75% abstinent.
By AmazonRed
March 26, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this
I’d try “God’s Way” but God ain’t providing
Binford, I’ll give you a pass for this one because I know you aren’t Christian. But if you were, I’d be all over you for this! LOL
By Lady J
March 26, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this
ARed I was thinking the same thing…It is a bit scary one has that much time in a day…lol
By fionna
March 26, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this
Finally, a spritual minded person has entered this blog. I agree 100% with you opinion to rephrase the question. As a woman of God, any man that wants to date me must be willing to walk the same spiritual path as I am and if he is not willing to do so he can hit the door. Sex is not what it is all cracked up to be and if a person cannot display self-control for that short period of time, it is time to get your carnal mind in check with the word of God. For more information please refer to the message that the Apostle Paul wrote in I Corinthians chapters 6-7. Be blessed!
By The Truth
March 26, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this
Ain’t this some bs. Fellas, never fall that kind of shyt. It’s simple math. Unless that chick is a virgin she’s given that azz to someone, most likely a cat that’s less than you, that’s why she’s at your doorstep. Now she’s trying to set you up for puddy restrictions down the road. Don’t do it.
Once again, assuming your handling your business you can’t take off of your job for 30 days and neither can she. Once you establish your position reinforce it at all costs. This is the equivalent of my dog growling at me. If I let that go the next thing is for them to bite me.
Lenny Kravitz is a part of this new age he/she group. Next he’ll be kissing Dennis Rodman.
It’s a fuggin shame that the same chicks that claim they want a man try to shirk their responsiblities before they even get one.
BTW, if you go for that don’t complain later when she says she’s taking a year off for “spiritual” reasons.
By fionna
March 26, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this
Finally, a spritual minded person has entered this blog. I agree 100% with you opinion to rephrase the question. As a woman of God, any man that wants to date me must be willing to walk the same spiritual path as I am and if he is not willing to do so he can hit the door. Sex is not what it is all cracked up to be and if a person cannot display self-control for that short period of time, it is time to get your carnal mind in check with the word of God. For more information please refer to the message that the Apostle Paul wrote in I Corinthians chapters 6-7. Be blessed!
By 2CPTG©
March 26, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this
Venus….that’s interesting that you mentioned that….your body’s telling you one thing, and your mind is telling you something else? And your mind is winning, eh?????
Still single, ain’t ya?
By DreamsMaterialize
March 26, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this
Morning Ya’ll Lenny Kravitz has probably experienced every type of sexual encounter imaginable, with high frequency, for most of his career. I’m sure even the most exciting things to most got boring for him. I’m not sure I believe he’s gone three years though.
Anyway, I don’t think anyone on here, man or woman, would have a problem going 30 days without sex, IF they wanted to do it. I’m sure we’ve all endured much more challenging things in our lives.
By AmazonRed
March 26, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this
Okay…enter Truth and his henchmen!
Just curious, Truth, do you follow any particular religion?
By Raqi
March 26, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this
Foots Yep. Stay out of those compromising situations and positions. You will find yourself hemmed up against a wall or in a corner and…Man how did that happen???
By SlimOne
March 26, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this
BBVF Well that’s part of being married, you’re going to have the rest of yall lives together to learn how to please each other. I think part of the reason some folks get divorced so soon is because they did all learning stuff when they were dating the first 20 years. LOL! So by the time they’ve finally tied the knot, it gets boring real quick. I think thats why some folks rather not live together prior to getting married.
By Lady J
March 26, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this
Truth I concur…
By Supe
March 26, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this
Sexless dating? All that’s missing is the dress, the cake, the ring, and the preacher.
By Binford2K8
March 26, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this
ARed Seriously though, this whole “God Provides” theory is crap. I know folks (both male and female) who are attractive people on the outside, but putrid human beings on the inside.
Guess what? It doesn’t matter how bad of people they are because no one goes off of that! They see that person as good breeding potential - that’s it. It gives the false impression of strength and no indication of the true being.
Which are my points because: a)”God” does not provide a mate b) Humans are more animal then most would admit c) For the weak, sex can represent all
By dremartin
March 26, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this
Fact of the matter is women quite often use sex as a punishment on some occasions and rewards in others. We all break cardinal sins. Male or female. Protect ya self and get your groove on. You cant be a freak when its going good in your relationship and when its not or you been hurt because you made the wrong choice you all of a sudden cut off the supply. Your guy instinct will guide you. Most wont have sex with someone they just meet in the first thirty days anyway, so this is a very achievable task. Enjoy your life and all it has to offer just protect your treasures and have sex in the city. lol
By Wise Diva
March 26, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this
I wonder if people remove sex from their dating, would they discover they actually don’t have more to offer someone? It is so easy to fall into the sack, but when you actually strip away the physical layer (if only for a little while!), would you ever be concerned that the person would lose interest in you?
So…Is your sex game, the only thing keeping you in the dating game?
By Simp
March 26, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this
If sex is not what it’s cracked up to be. What needs to be controlled. People dont want to admit this. Sex is an agreement that I am interested in you. You make not enjoy it, but it say ok we can go out on a date and I dont mind coming out my pocket. Set terms before you engage in anything and have a understanding as to what you really want. Is it lunch time yet?
By SexyLeggs
March 26, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone. Hello to the new bloggers (??). 30 days, got that on lockdown!!!
By Supe
March 26, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this
Sexless dating? All that’s missing is the dress, the cake, the ring, and the preacher.
By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st.
March 26, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this
Truth Can you let up on your dog talk? This is way I call you barbaric….you are comparing how to train a dog to how to treat a human. How insane is that? Chill out with the dog analogies!!!
By LeftWingLoon
March 26, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this
I think I’d prefer dateless sex.
By BriteEyez
March 26, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this
Good Morning all!
Could you handle 30 days of sexless dating?
30 days is really no time at all. In my opinion, it almost doesn’t count as abstinence if you are just dating.
How do you think your dating could change?
I am still just sticking my toe in to test the waters right now so I have really not gotten into dating at this point, per se. However, I think I can say with confidence that because I am going into this with a relatively new, clean slate I will seek out and deal with only those that are of the same mindset regarding our dating purposes.
By AmazonRed
March 26, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this
Binford - We’re never going to agree on that, so we might as well not even go there. ;-)
Hey Jamie, you said you are waiting for the “real deal.” How long has it been that you have been abstaining? Just curious as to how long the holding period might be. LOL
By Simp
March 26, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this
If sex is not what it’s cracked up to be. What needs to be controlled. People dont want to admit this. Sex is an agreement that I am interested in you. You make not enjoy it, but it say ok we can go out on a date and I dont mind coming out my pocket. Set terms before you engage in anything and have a understanding as to what you really want. Is it lunch time yet?
By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st.
March 26, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this
Wise Diva That is so true! What would be left? That’s how alot of guys end up with these crazy chicks and more than what they bargained for. And then they wonder why and what happened? You can not solve nothing laying down. lmao!
By AmazonRed
March 26, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this
WiseDiva - LOL @ your questions! I’d be interested in the responses to that as well.
What is your stance on today’s topic?
By Kym
March 26, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this
Slim A case can be made for just the opposite of what you said about marriages ending because couples have not explored all the things they wanted. In that article the other day about “gray divorces” they noted that alot of older couples are divorcing because they feel like they have missed something in life. We seem to forget in all our search for spirtual truth that while God may not change..we with our imperfect selves do change..and evolve. When one partner(A) starts changing and the other is keeping the status quo(missionary on Sunday from 8-8:15 followed by watching tv until the news goes off) The one changing is eventually going to express that need to try something different. If the partner(B) stuck on missionary is not willing to change or even try then partner(A) will either die unhappy or bail. We all know what happens if there is no communcation at all. That is where the sneaking, creeping and freaking goes on.
By fionna
March 26, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this
Truth is the perfect example of the carnal mind. You can tell a tree by it’s fruits and the stupidity that “Truth” is displaying shows the caliber of women he deals with.
By Supe
March 26, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this
Sexless dating? All that’s missing is the dress, the cake, the ring, and the preacher.
By 2CPTG©
March 26, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this
Lady in Red…..that’s a good question, “when you actually strip away the physical layer (if only for a little while!), would you ever be concerned that the person would lose interest in you?” but guess who should answer that, y’all!!!
Aren’t y’all the ones always tombout, “when I let him get it”…..”it’s a gift”…..”it’s worth waiting for” and all that other stuff….Men gotta show what they have to offer upfront, y’all gals think y’all got the “gift”….so tell us, besides this alleged gift, what else you got? How do y’all make your “other traits” stand out more than your booty?
By Pussycat
March 26, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this
@Truth - most days I agree with your generalizations, although sometimes you’re thickheaded but I get the gist of most of your posts. But for real, it’s not always a conspiracy for the woman to get the man to sway her way, for lack of a better term. Really, you should quiet down on the I am man, hear me roar. I don’t think (in most cases at least) any woman’s angle is to bamboozle a man into her boy toy and NEVER give it up and just have him as her pawn. Heck probably for the average woman, we enjoy sex just as much as men, if not more. It’s simply being stated most days on here from the woman that we can’t afford to just be wide open in giving out the goods. If we do, then we are those victims that you so general posts about in stating (as you always do) “some that posts have been used up and looking for a hero”….or something like that/of that nature. Yes, you said it in heated debates. Lighten up bruh, if you stand back and think about it, I believe men/women have the same common goals, just all looking for that really special someone that does it for you. It seems we (men vs women) just having extremely different views on how to get there.
By The Truth
March 26, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this
Ared all religions have one thing in common. They were created by a man. A dude just like me. Personally I’d like to live my life according to my beliefs. I’ve done pretty well to this point.
A question for you. If god didn’t want me to have sex why did he give me such a high sex drive?
This is more than a sex issue. It’s a new way of trying to get out of our reponsibilities. We don’t cook, fugg, clean yet we want someone to find value in us. What do we do? Your value is determined by your actions. If your not doing shyt you have no value.
I’ve said many times if I do get married I will take care of my wife. Some of you remember that. I will give her what I can and she will do the same. I won’t deny you and you don’t deny me. When you break that bond it’s time to renegotiate this deal.
These UNDERSTANDING cats are the same ones getting married and then ol girl pulls the old puddy in the closet trick. That’s not an option with me. They eventually have to find azz outside because they ALLOWED that chick in her mind to think she could hold out. You run that game on some other dude. I’m like a nuclear bomb, I’ll blow this whole thing to hell before I go for that.
By SlimOne
March 26, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this
Dreams I agree with you with regards to Lenny. He is probably at the point in his life where he wants something a little more fulfilling due to the fact of placing his ‘slong’ in every hole possible in as many holes at one time as possible. Plus we don’t know if he had some sort of scare or life altering experience that made him say, I need to stop, reflect, and revise my life. Folks do have those moments in life. For some folks it takes losing a loved one, getting some STD, getting in an accident etc…so we can automatically assume he’ll be also dressed in a wedding gown at the alter with Rodman.
BTW, I’d sure hate to see Rodman at the age of 70 looking a even more hot mess! blech!
As far as dating, I enjoy the flirting, attentiveness, and build up of attraction that goes along pre-sex….cuz sad to say, sometimes once the pipe is laid, all that came before starts to dwindle. I’ve dated someone that we chose not to do the do for a long time…it made things more exciting for both of us.
By Supe
March 26, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this
And a mother in law! Don’t forget the mother in law.
By BeautifulBlogVestFastened
March 26, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this
SlimOne a couple should of course decide what’s best for them and their marriage. and if not having sex before jumping the broom is good for them, great. but this chick wants to take a test run before she buys. sex is important to me, and i will bet a years paycheck it’s even more important to him. also, i don’t mind living apart while engaged.
By Raqi
March 26, 2008 10:01 AM | Link to this
That’s why you have to get to know each other upfront IMO. Spend time together. Peep as much of the good and bad habits as possible before giving your all. But you have to spend the time together. An adequate amount of time.
By M.
March 26, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this
I think waiting is probably the best policy. Especially living in Atlanta, there is alot of extra stuff that comes along with this. Though I am single, what about the married people who are in a situation in which they are just “married” (paying the bills, living, working, being parents.)? Isnt the physical aspects of the marriage one of the perks to being married? Or is the main perk the combining of 2 incomes, dealing with in-laws that you dispise? FYI I am not nor have ever been married so I am just asking.
By dremartin
March 26, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this
Fact of the matter is women quite often use sex as a punishment on some occasions and rewards in others. We all break cardinal sins. Male or female. Protect ya self and get your groove on. You cant be a freak when its going good in your relationship and when its not or you been hurt because you made the wrong choice you all of a sudden cut off the supply. Your guy instinct will guide you. Most wont have sex with someone they just meet in the first thirty days anyway, so this is a very achievable task. Enjoy your life and all it has to offer just protect your treasures and have sex in the city. lol
By Wise Diva
March 26, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this
@DreamsMaterialize - the fact that he has already done so much sexually, actually makes it harder to go with out, don’t you think?
The challenge to the married folks to have sex for 30 consecutive days is the very same reason unmarried folks should abstain. Married folks would deepen their bond, and that could strengthen their commitment. Excuse me for going all scientific geeky, but ya’ll know that during an orgasm, the hormone oxytocin (same hormone that cements the mother and child bond) is released by the hypothalamus during an orgasm, so the more sex a woman has, the deeper the bond gets with her partner. Now when you are going the “casual” route, a lot of women confuse that feeling/emotion with love. So to women, especially, things are a lot more clear when we are able to focus on the guy’s character. When you are looking for something meaningful with a guy, this is very important. (Now, if you just want a maintenance man, that’s something totally different.)
By AmazonRed
March 26, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this
Alright! The ladies are bringing it today.
fionna, lol @ your 9:58 to Truth.
Pussycat, you’d better tell em. LOL
By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st.
March 26, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this
PUSSYCAT CO0SIGNED 9:58AM
By Rell
March 26, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this
@fionna….you read like a control freak…my walk and your walk will not be the same…thats why we have testimony as a way to re-affirm our faith..get the f*** out of her with that….you be the first one getting your suga walls bust down
I AM A HENCHMAN….LOL, LOVES IT..AND I COSIGN TRUTH
on another note can we leave religion out of this….we all sin daily, so lets stash the holy water and bible verses today..smh
By DreamsMaterialize
March 26, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this
Premarital sex as a sin is linked only to the word fornication in the Bible. Fornication comes from the greek word porneia, which means prostitution and/or incest. It never meant “premarital sex”. Christians have redefined the translation to mean “sex before marriage”.
By Patrick
March 26, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this
As a single attractive gay man in Atlanta I can tell you I would rather wait and find a man I have a connection with outside the bedroom. It is really hard to find a gay man with the old fashioned values that I have. I belive in quiet first dates, holding hands and sharing a bananna split at the Dairy Queen verses a quick romp. Intimacy and love are far more important to me than an orgasm. I guess it’s that good old Georgia boy coming out in me. Maybe one day I’ll find a man that feels the same!
By Me-Me
March 26, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this
I don’t have a problem abstaining from SEX, i’ve been doing it for the past 5 years
By AmazonRed
March 26, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this
Truth - I certainly don’t believe sex is an excuse for one to get out of their responsibilities. I can not have sex until I’m married and that has NOTHING to do with trying to shirk my responsibilities as a wife.
Following God’s plan is not easy. And sometimes we’re tested and we’re ALWAYS tempted. Maybe he gave you a high sex drive because he wanted to see how you’d handle it. I mean, you ARE discriminating about who you sleep with. What prevents you from sticking everything that moves since your sex drive is ‘so high?’
By Soap Opera
March 26, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this
Stay tuned for As the Stomach Turns.
By fionna
March 26, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this
Truth is the perfect example of the carnal mind. You can tell a tree by it’s fruits and the stupidity that “Truth” is displaying shows the caliber of women he deals with.
By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st.
March 26, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
Truth it’s past 10:00 it’s time for you to take your medicine. I am so scared of you. You openly admit you are ticking time bomb….crazy loon.
But you did have some facts in your post. But go back to your old saying..
If a man plays he’s part it forces everyone else to do theirs.
But you do need pray. I’ll pray for you.
By abc
March 26, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this
I think it’s all about attitude, and most people’s attitudes about sex are pretty screwed up.
To most, sex is some tantric-like domination/submission thing, almost completely centered on acts with genitalia, very goal oriented in terms of the point being to achieve O. Could it not be the natural extension of a heartfelt embrace, a passionate kiss, indeed, do not those things encompass what the acts are? Is a loving touch in the giving of a body massage not as sensual as banging heads on headboards, or does the dance require that every single time?
Now I’ll admit that personally, I’m a little on the wild side sexually, but I never lose track of what it’s all for, which is to express and relate love, and encourage the same.
Having sex with casual dates is just plain being a slut, sex outside of serious relationships is for kids, at best. I’ve been married and gone without for periods far exceeding a mere 30 days, so anyone saying that’s too long for them to handle is laughable, to me.
By Me-Me
March 26, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this
^5 Fionna i totally agree!
By DasV
March 26, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this
theTRUTH no one called into question your manhood when you tole us that you were abstaining from dating till the economy pans out…. so dont be calling our womanhood into question when we tell you that we trynna up our game and level of self-control. come’on bruh! you killin me. restraint is not a bad thing and it aint us shurking our job…. shhhhyttt. done tole ya’ll im ready to go to work.
TouCan wha you sayin?? yea. im still single… but it aint cause theres still a war going on ‘tween my mind and body. theyve merged and on the same page…. just sometimes my body gets envious at what all im feeding my mind… it wanna be fed too.
and as soon as i can identify a willing and worthy king… ready and im wit it!
By pisces 08
March 26, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this
@ARed. You got mail.
By Wise Diva
March 26, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this
Ok, let’s elevate the discussion past the name calling and cussing. PLEASE. We don’t all agree, that’s normal, but geez, communication breaks down greatly, and since this is a blog, that is the point..to express your opinion, respectfully.
Work with me people.
By I HATE ATTENTION WHOR3S
March 26, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this
@ Patrick…..old fashioned values?
Yeah right dude.
By AmazonRed
March 26, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this
Having sex with casual dates is just plain being a slut, sex outside of serious relationships is for kids, at best. I’ve been married and gone without for periods far exceeding a mere 30 days, so anyone saying that’s too long for them to handle is laughable, to me.
Dayuumm abc, I know that comment could ruffle a few feathers!
Learning more about “you.” Didn’t know you’d been married before.
By GaMan
March 26, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this
GaMan now contracts ForReal to install not One but Three poles
he also calls the pool man to clean the pool…..orders a new stock for the BlogBar
Ladies the Bar will be open after lunch….but feel free to try out our Poles all you want
heheheheheheh
By Supe
March 26, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this
What’s the saying about marriage? It’s like a three ring circus.
1. Engagement Ring 2. Wedding Ring 3. Suffe Ring
And polygamy..having one wife too many. Same thing as monogamy.
By Kym
March 26, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this
Wisey I will answer your question.. Yes, I think I have alot more to offer than just T&A. I have a listening ear when need. Compassionate, Caring and the patience of Job given the right person and circumstances. (Life is what happens when you make other plans.) I have the insight to listen and learn what makes my SO tick.(I have been told to get out of his head on more than one occassion) I also had to learn that balance act of letting a man be a man even when I want to pet him up and make it better or strangling him because he is wrong(this means holding my peace and counting to 3. Actually I am was thinking about that old song No Pain-No Gain..one line sticks with me..”I was earning my man while I was learning my man.” For me when I move pass that point of inital attraction and actually know that I want to develop more with this guy then I am willing to learn him so I can earn him.
By SWMarietta
March 26, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this
My record is 8.5 years (that was my twenties). Only on a six month stretch right now so life is good! I won’t start getting worried for another year or two.
I’m obviously the wrong guy to comment on this.
By The Truth
March 26, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this
Here we have the same chicks screaming daily for a dude they could count on thru thick and thin, a dude they know will do his job, but saying it would be nice if he was ok with her not doing the same thing.
Here’s a fact: Most of you chicks will never get married and after reading some of these posts rightly so. Next you’ll be crying about how you want kids and then get mad when you have to change their diapers. Ooops, to late.
There’s nothing like good old performance.
Ladies, who would be UNDERSTANDING if their man came home and said he didn’t want to run his household for a few years? By a show of hands. Anyone? I didn’t think so.
Your just a bunch of lazy azzed chicks that have spent too much time in your own minds thinking someone will love you “just because your you”. They will, if you back that up with some performance.
Fionna luckily I haven’t had to put up with tired azzed chicks like you so I’m still fresh. And like Binford said, we’re all closer to animals than we think. And yes, I’m carnal as hell. LOL
This is a fact, if you come fuggin with me your gonna perform. The moment you stop this ride is over. Let some other dude pay for puddy he can’t even get.
By BriteEyez
March 26, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this
WiseDiva You make a good point. If your purpose is indeed a LTR leading possibly to marriage it will definitely be important to discover what you each have to offer outside of the bedroom. Passion and lust in a relationship are not always in play, during those periods you have to have something else to sustain you.
Again, its all relative to your dating purpose.
By Binford2K8
March 26, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this
Wise Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars, and the fun (especially on this blog) will never end because of that.
By Raqi
March 26, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this
The only way a woman can “control” the situation in withholding sex is when you (men) are parishioners of the kitty. If you stop acting like your existence will cease to be if you don’t get it, there will nothing to control you.
By GTPete
March 26, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this
My wife of 2 years and I both waited until we got married and it was the best decision we ever made. Yeah - both of us were virgins. It wasn’t easy, but our marriage is better because of it.
By GTPete
March 26, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this
My wife of 2 years and I both waited until we got married and it was the best decision we ever made. Yeah - both of us were virgins. It wasn’t easy, but our marriage is better because of it.
By AmazonRed
March 26, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this
Patrick - Good luck to you. You have a read uphill battle with that one!
By DasV
March 26, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this
dreamsMaterialize and materializing definitions too take a look at this… your def is off: http://www.studylight.org/lex/grk/view.cgi?number=4202