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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2008 > February
February 2008
Stranger than fiction
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
We all have our quirky behavior or idiosyncrasies. It’s really what makes us all unique, interesting, even! Then you have the other side of the spectrum. The scary, DSM-IV side of the spectrum.
Yeah, I’m talking about those single people with the the most random, outrageous, borderline weird personalities. Have you had the pleasure of dating this type? Well, I have! (Shocking, right!?)
Of course, we all have varying ideas of what normal behavior is; As a general rule, if it makes me nauseous, wince, cringe, angry, or horrified, I pretty much run for the hills. For these reasons, I have had to let a few weirdos go because of a range of weirdness: From unhealthy obsession with porn, and unhealthy obsession with me, to weird behavior in the bedroom, oh I could go on and on - the point is….I’m over the weirdos and the crazies, hmk?
What I would like to know is, how do you know if you are dating a quirky person or a strange weirdo? I hate dating games, but is there some kind of secret test you can use to determine how strange a person is before a restraining order is needed?
Have you ever been approached by someone in some strange way? How did you respond? Were you impressed, terrified, a little of both? That’s the thing about the weirdos, you know. They can be intriguing at first, but the novelty wears off. It’s all fun and games until a rabbit is boiling on the stove or something!
Have you ever dated someone that you thought was completely sane and normal when you met but turned into something total opposite? Or maybe you were the weirdo and ran someone off with your strange behavior?
How much strange behavior are you willing to handle in a date?
Happy Friday!!
Permalink | Comments (270) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
It’s not you, it’s both of you
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Isn’t it cool how scientists and researchers can find a name for whatever ails us? As I read over the different symptoms of Irritable Male Syndrome, I thought it sounded rather, um …familiar.
I remember dating a very high strung, intense guy named “Paul”. At the time, it was an extremely stressful time in his life. When we were together, I was on the receiving end of all of that stress. I implored him to just cancel our dates. I mean, if he was going to be grumpy and short-tempered (the entire date!), I could just stay my cute self at home. Shouldn’t the date be fun for the both of us?
He insisted that having me around made him feel better. Well, I guess so, since Paul the Anger Ball (that is so what I called him!) needed a target for all his irritable behavior! Maybe Paul was suffering from Irritable Male Syndrome? Or, he could have been a raging lunatic. Alas, I will never know!
Guys, when you are in a particularly sour mood, do you ever cancel or postpone your dates? Or do you just shake it off and still manage to be charming? When you feel stressed out, do prefer to just be left alone? Comforted? Seduced? Coaxed to laugh?
Ladies, have you ever dated the Dr.Jekyll/Mr. Hyde type or Mr. Anger Ball? How did you handle it? What would you do if you were on a date and you started to sense that the guy was in a sour mood? If you are in a relationship, how do you cope with your SO’s bad moods?
What are your thoughts about IMS - fact or fiction? Regardless of gender, don’t you think we could all stand to be kinder to each other when we are in one of those moods? I mean, after all, it’s a hormone thing!
This blog post was written to the sounds of Jill Scott’s Talk to Me
Permalink | Comments (302) | Categories: He Said/She Said
Who do you love?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I was having dinner with some friends recently. There were men and women there, ranging from age 24 to 38, mostly single people. Someone brought up the subject of romance (not me!) and the question was poised: Can a man love two women at the same time?
Of course, there were varying responses, and many thought we should define “love” first. That sparked another debate about being in love and falling in love. Then, my friend Richard said, “Men don’t fall in love. That concept is something chicks get from the movies and magazines.” He thinks that women fall in love, but men succumb to it. So, his answer was, no a man can’t love two women at the same time. Mainly because men can only truly “succumb” to one woman.
Most of us agreed that to supposedly be in love with two women at the same time, someone would probably be lied to and that is not the kind of love that is real. What do you think?
Considering how men view/perceive love, is it possible for a man to love two women?
Are women more inclined to think that we could “fall in love” with two men because we view and perceive love differently?
Have you ever felt torn between two people? Did you have strong feelings for both of them? How did you decide which one was better for you?
Permalink | Comments (355) | Categories: Matters of the Heart
Date with a mirror
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Have you ever met and dated someone who reminded you a lot of yourself? Was it a great experience or a creepy one? My inner narcissist would love to go out with someone as witty and clever and lovely as moi.
Then again, I can be overly critical, moody, and fiercely stubborn at times. Would I want all those things in a boyfriend? Probably not! I love the lyrics to one of my favorite India.Arie songs, entitled, The Truth: If I am a reflection of him, then I must be fly.
My mother always told me that the people who come into our lives are a reflection of who we are. Do you think we attract the crazy and unstable because that’s who we really are at the time? Honestly, that would explain a boatload of messed up boyfriends I have had!
So I have learned that we tend to attract people who have similar levels of emotional intelligence, and development. It can be a blessing or a curse. When it’s a blessing, it’s like going on a date with a mirror. You love what you see!
Do you think it’s better to be with someone who is more like you (i.e., same outlook on life, similar past experiences, same personality) or less like you? Would you want to be with someone you knew as well as you knew yourself - inside and out?
Ladies, do you think it would be good to date a male version of yourself? Guys, what about you, could you date a female version of yourself?
Permalink | Comments (460) | Categories: Dating
Single Women: Wise UP!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
So Lori Gottlieb has caused quite a buzz with her Atlantic Monthly article, entitled, Marry Him! A reader emailed the link to the article last week, and I watched the author on the Today Show.
The article basically says that if a woman wants her own children with a man, it’s perfectly fine to settle for Mr. Good Enough. She asserts that it is better to grab Mr. Good Enough in your 30s than to hope for Mr. Perfect at 40 or older.
She wrote, “After all, wouldn’t it have been wiser to settle for a higher caliber of “not Mr. Right” while my marital value was at its peak?” Marital value? Am I the only one that has never once thought about her marital value?! Does that make me naive and deluded?
The thing that stood out for me in the “case for settling” was that the author seemed to think that women my age (mid-30s) have these impossible ideals about potential mates. Is it a widely accepted notion that women want perfect men?
I have never seen an article advising, suggesting, or hinting that a man should settle. Does it mean that men don’t have to be “realistic” about their dating options? Do men settle for their mates?
What are you thoughts about the article? Do you consider settling for someone? Is it easier to date if you don’t really have standards that are high? Do you think that waiting for a deep romantic love with someone is futile?
It is so interesting to me how there is such a focus on what modern, single women decide to do with their lives. Everyone has opinions on when we should have sex, how we should select our mates, when we should marry, if or when we have children. Why does society highlight the lives of single women so much?
Permalink | Comments (450) | Categories: Current Events
Back to black
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Please join me in welcoming my friend Roman to the blog today. I invited him to write today to mix it up a little. I think you’ll find that the concepts he discusses can be applicable to different types of relationships. I trust that you all will show him how welcoming we can be, and how we can disagree with each other while still being respectful. Happy Friday, everyone! — Bella
Celibataire … soltero … celibe … SINGLE. No matter the language, I’m certain the game is the same. The word SINGLE looms large and lonely and taunts me with its six little letters, three pairs.
After three-and-a-half years in a committed, live-in relationship, my supposed other half bailed on New Years Day. The new year is off to a great start. Whatever. I’ve taken the inevitable jaunt down Self-pity Road and ended up, after a few detours, on My Way Highway. So I won’t bore you with too many details. Oh, except for one thing. As far as my former partner, boyfriend, domestic partner (or insert preferred terminology here) is concerned, a lyric from an Amy Winehouse song comes to mind. One I cannot quote here. But if you have the album Back to Black listen to the first few lines of track number 5. And if it was so easy for him to move on to “seeing” other people, why not me too?!
I don’t even know where to begin. I have to figure out what it means to be single again. How long does that take? How soon do we jump back into the dating pool?
After much crying, teeth gnashing, and obsessively thinking about what went wrong, I’m diving into the pool. After a little more than one month of being newly single, I needed something more to help me along the road to getting past my past. I scored a date in no time. But was it too soon? How soon is too soon? Is there a rule?
So my first date in over three years goes a little something like this: We went to a taqueria for dinner. Yumm-O. We had nice conversations (but I swear I kept catching him check out some guys at another table). Then off to a 10pm showing of “There Will Be Blood.” Amazing movie but one should NEVER begin watching a movie that lasts nearly 3 hours at 10pm on a Friday after having been up since 6am. I think i fell asleep at some point. Woke up for the dramatic ending and stumbled to the car. I gave some incoherent, sleep-dazed critique of the film (totally embarrasing). At the car there was an awkward hug/pat, and an attempt at a kiss that didn’t get very far. I just didn’t know what to do. I froze. I freaked. I felt awkward, stiff, out of practice and couldn’t stop thinking of my ex.
Was it too soon?
Permalink | Comments (344) | Categories: Dating
Just missed ya
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I’ve had so many almost-relationships in my life — friends who I almost dated or would have dated, but the timing wasn’t right.
First there was Strong Sam, who was a good friend for a few years. At one point, I was dating someone I thought I may end up with, and I introduced Strong Sam to one of my gorgeous friends. They began dating, and once I broke up with my boyfriend, I felt like I had cheated myself out of happiness! Then a series of things interrupted what may have been a real relationship — I moved, then he moved closer, then I moved again. The timing was just never right.
The same goes for my best friend from high school, who always seemed to be dating someone when I wasn’t and vice versa. This continued into our professional lives, where we seem to just miss each other constantly. Whenever one of us is interested, the other one isn’t.
What is it with the universe’s crazy karma? Do you know people with whom you can feel the relational tension but never seem to cross that boundary? What about people who you know you could end up with if you both were available at the same time?
Has anyone ever ended up with someone they kept barely missing for months or years?
Permalink | Comments (342) | Categories: Matters of the Heart
Dating…with children
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A few years back my friend Sean ended up meeting the woman of his dreams. The only kink in his fantasy, however, was that she didn’t come alone. She had a beautiful daughter from a previous marriage, an aspect he hadn’t factored into his dream.
When he asked me about it, I told him that she was either the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with or she wasn’t — and if he didn’t want to marry her and help her raise her daughter, someone else would. It was simply up to him decide. (They are now happily married and have a second daughter!)
If you have children, how soon do you introduce them to whomever you’re dating? First date? Two weeks? Two months? Not until you’re exclusive? What do you do to preserve your children’s hearts while you’re trying to put yours out there?
Have you ever had someone bolt once they realized you have kids? What encouragement would you give to singles who are hesitant to date someone who already has children from another relationship?
If you don’t have children, how soon are you usually comfortable with meeting someone else’s kids? Have you ever had someone introduce you too quickly? Has anyone ever held back for what you think was too long before letting you meet the offspring?
Permalink | Comments (413) | Categories: Family
Advice for a single woman
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
OK, men, this is your chance to tell us (in a loving way!) what advice you would give to women on the dating scene. Women can be just as proud as men when it comes to how they operate, and it may take some gentle words from our blog brothers to help us see what we do that’s ineffective.
Here are some categories with examples to help organize your thoughts for us:
mingling — for example, women standing in a crowd of eight, making it difficult for men to approach them
dating — women expecting to meet your parents, leave personal items at your place, or anything else that’s too much early on in dating
relationships — Think Kate Hudson’s character in “How to lose a guy in 10 days.”
Men, what extra instructions would you give women on dating a quality man? What really appeals to quality men? And what would make a woman stand out amongst her “competitors” to a quality man?
Which men should women run from instead of to, and vice versa? Let’s have it, men! Give us your “femlaws!”
Permalink | Comments (406) | Categories: Dating
Good vibes, bad vibes
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A couple of my girlfriends and I recently went to an art opening that was an incredibly target-rich environment for us. We talked to several different men throughout the night and had a really good time mingling, although none of us found any winners.
Afterward, my friend Ally told Lisa that she gives “the no face” when she’s out mingling. Lisa protested, saying that she was only giving “the no face” to men who clearly weren’t interested in her from the get-go and were talking up other women. But it’s true. She makes a snap judgment about men if they don’t immediately gravitate to her when we’re out, determining that they’re not interested in her and that she shouldn’t encourage them in any way.
And I’ve seen other women and men do this, too, who just emotionally shut people off as soon as they walk up. Give ‘em a chance, people! It’s healthy to socialize and meet new people, even if you don’t end up in some whirlwind romance. You might even make a business contact or (gasp!) a friend! And besides, you may not be interested in them, but they may have a hot friend…
Do you ever give people “the no face” when you’re out in public and they approach you? How approachable do you think you are when you’re out? Would your friends agree with this assessment? Haven’t had anyone strike up conversation with you lately? Maybe it’s time to reassess the kind of vibes you give off!
If you’re not usually open to talking with strangers, what could you do to help yourself lighten up and engage in conversation more? Do you have friends who could also use help with their mingling skills?
Permalink | Comments (165) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Never Let Them See You Sweat!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
I have this really bad habit of trying to play it cool with men I really like. The more butterflies I feel in the pit of my stomach, the more aloof I try to behave. I know, it’s stupid! It can be really annoying, even to me, so I have to really balance it out a little. It is perfectly fine to let a guy know you like him - at the right time, place, and circumstances. Plus, a healthy dose of confidence definitely helps.
The thing is, I actually don’t fall for men easily. This is partly because I don’t want to get caught up too much. Basically, it’s a defense mechanism against infatuation, but it doesn’t always work!
Ladies, when you are completely ga-ga over a new guy, how do you let him know it? Do you ever try to play it off and pretend as if you aren’t into him? Do you wait until he puts it out there? What has worked best for you? When do you feel comfortable catering to him in the early stages of dating?
Guys, can you truly tell when a girl is smitten by you? Do you think eye contact, body language, and other non-verbal cues work best? Is it enough that we just agree to another date? If a woman is into you, what (if anything) do you think she should tell you, and when?
Does it bother you if we keep you guessing in the beginning while we deal with those butterflies? Would you consider that playing games?
If you have any incredibly sweet, romantic Valentine’s Day dates to dish about, please share them! I still have disdain for the forced expectations and commercial trappings of the holiday, but I ADORE hearing how couples celebrated their romance, or a new romance starting!
Permalink | Comments (342) | Categories: Dating
It will all be worth it
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It’s Valentine’s day, again. I can’t believe my disdain for today has actually deepened but it has. I think it was the Nivea Lotion commercial that did me in. I know that companies like to capitalize from this holiday, but come on…LOTION!?
At least the Nivea commercial featured music from one of my favorite artist right now. That’s one thing about Valentine’s week that doesn’t make me want to hurl a shoe at the Hallmark card display. I get in the mood to listen to love songs. I love them all. The sappier the better!
I created a playlist on my ipod with all my favorite love songs to remind me of love - endless love (80s music rocks).
When it comes to love songs, we have heard it all: New love, broken love, reunited love, angry love, stalker love - it’s all been put into a song.
What songs would you put on a playlist that best reflects how you feel about love these days?
If you are lucky enough to have someone special today, what songs would you use to set your evening up for romance?
In your opinion, what are some of the best, all-time love songs ever made?
What are the worst love songs?
Isn’t it funny how hearing a song can bring back the memories, emotions, or horrible flashbacks of an old love affair? Is there a song that instantly reminds you of someone?
There’s a song from Sarah McLachlan, titled Answer that is so beautiful. Some of the lyrics remind me of why I stay so hopeful about love: If it takes my whole life, I won’t break, I won’t bend, it will all be worth it, worth it in the end.
After all the dating misadventures, hook-ups, and dating disappointments, I have to believe that when me and Mr. Right finally find each other, it would have all been worth it in the end. Do you think it will all be worth it?
Happy Single Awareness Day!
Permalink | Comments (349) | Categories: Holidays
Advice for a single guy
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
When men make mistakes in dating, they generally don’t openly admit to it. They have their proud you know, and I can’t say that I blame them. When you have rather large egos (which I admit to having at times), you don’t want to acknowledge that you blew things with a dating potential. It happens to men all the time, they just don’t dwell on it like ladies do.
There are definitely single men out there that are utterly clueless about dating women - normal and mature women. He may pretend to know it all, but it becomes clear that he has a lot to learn.
What kind of dating advice do you think single guys need? What are common mistakes do men make in dating?
If a guy wanted to meet, date, and have a relationship with women, what “man laws” do think would help him?
In my group of friends, I have noticed that the ladies sometimes give different dating advice/feedback than the men. It’s hilarious because it can be so contradictory! I always hope that our dear friend can take the best advice from the different perspectives and apply what works for him.
Ladies, do you think you can give a single guy a little insight on dating a quality woman? Where does he meet them? What appeals to her? What would make him stand out from the other suitors?
Let’s set aside the superficial: his looks and money (if only for a day) and concentrate on the good stuff - a man’s real A game, his character.
Permalink | Comments (261) | Categories: He Said/She Said
Super (Annoying) Ex-Girlfriend
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Can you imagine dating someone whose ex had superpowers? I know, it’s a funny idea for a movie, but if your new guy or girl’s ex constantly gets in the way of your potential romance, they can be super annoying. It’s like they have some kind of hold over your new guy or girl - and they know it.
I’m not a wickedly jealous girl, so I don’t mind it when a guy I am dating has tons of female friends. However, I have experienced the ex-girlfriend from hell scenario - not fun. Every chance she had to prove (read: flaunt) how much history she had with him, she took it - with gusto! I mean, I had to hand it to her, she had it down to a science.
Ladies, have you ever had to deal with a super annoying ex-girlfriend? How did you handle it? Would you let the guy know that his ex-girlfriend is behaving like a jealous, overprotective lover?
I won’t compete for a man’s affection, so I would rather step aside and let the guy go. I just wonder why some people don’t see it when their ex is intentionally creating conflict and drama for them. Isn’t it obvious when this happens?
Guys, are you still friends with your ex-girlfriends? Does she help or hinder your dating? Have you ever had to mediate between your ex and your new girl?
Permalink | Comments (246) | Categories: Breakups
Not your type? Get over it!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
What is it with us single people and our so called “types”? I know, we like what we like, we know what we want, blah blah blah. I am starting to think this is another cop out we use not to take chances. I am guilty of it too. I say that I have a type: clean cut, slightly geeky, sweet guys. How often do I meet them? Rarely. How often do they like me back? Uh, almost never!?
So why is it hard to get out of our comfort zones? Maybe the person that normally doesn’t catch your eye, is the very person who deserves a second look. Guys, that quiet, reserved young lady that is super nice to your mother may turn out to be a great woman to get to know. Ladies, that kind and gentle guy who volunteers with you could possibly be very drool worthy outside of those planning meetings.
Is it possible that your type is evasive for a reason? If you haven’t found what you think is your ideal match, are you willing to think outside the box a little?
Ladies, if you are in a committed relationship, is your SO the “type” you thought you would end up with?
Guys, if you are coupled up, does your honey embody who you were always attracted to all along?
Has anyone ever dated outside their normal “type” and actually found The One? What made you take a second look?
Have you tried to date your usual, non-type and regret that you did?
I am traveling for work this week, but I will check in with you guys when I can
Permalink | Comments (229) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Valentine’s day strategies
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
With only one weekend left before Valentine’s Day, you only have five more days to round up a date. That is, if you want one.
There are a couple routes to approaching the holiday of love if you’re single. (Well, three if you include ignoring Feb. 14th altogether).
The first is to grab your most available friend-loveinterest-acquaintance and plan to have a good time! Make plans at a fun restaurant, knock back a few beverages of your choice and be glad you don’t have to spend the holiday completely alone. And besides, who knows what could happen!
The second is to get out there and do some damage! Find the best singles environment possible and go market yourself. Everyone else there will be single, too, so don’t worry about being embarrassed. Make a promise to yourself to have the best time possible, even if you don’t meet anyone interesting.
Here are some options:
What’s your strategy for next Thursday? Go stag? Grab a date? Or ignore it altogether? What’s the most fun Valentine’s Day you’ve ever had as a single?
Permalink | Comments (390) | Categories: Mix & Mingle
Step away from the keyboard
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Have you ever wished you could unsend that margarita-inspired e-mail you sent to your boyfriend or girlfriend? According to a new study by Nielsen, you’re not the only one.
The study, which focuses on drunk e-mailing (the new form of drunk dialing), found that 13% of e-mail users have sent an email while tipsy or drunk that they later wished they hadn’t. Additionally, women were less likely than men to have sent a “drunk e-mail” that they later regretted.
Have you ever drunk e-mailed? What was the outcome of the situation? Were you able to work through any damaging things you may have written?
Who’s been on the receiving end of drunk e-mailing? Did you know immediately that the person sending it had to be drunk? Did you cut them any slack, knowing that they weren’t in their right mind? Or were you unaware until later that someone was writing you under the influence? How did it affect your relationship?
Additionally, if you aren’t shy about sharing your drunk e-mailing (sender or receiver) stories, our reporter Phil Khloer would like to hear about it. Send him an e-mail (written while sober, please) at pkholer@ajc.com. Any interviews with him will not reference your MIA blog identity.
Permalink | Comments (280) | Categories: Dating
All’s fair in love and…finances?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Sometimes after a breakup, the hardest thing isn’t getting over someone, but sorting out your belongings! The longer you’ve been together, the more intwined your lives have become, and the more difficult it is to remember who originally owned the toaster. Beyond that, there are things you purchased together — electronics, home furnishings, possibly season football tickets!
And anyone who’s ever been through a major breakup knows that undoubtedly, your credit may be the hardest thing to get back.
My friend Erin is recovering from a divorce that happened almost two years ago, and she still hasn’t sold the car that’s in both of their names — a violation of their divorce contract! Additionally, her credit is now tied up in the house that they owned together, and she’s finding her financial situation tighter because of consequences of their joint loans and spending.
Another friend Christine had saved up enough to make a down payment on a car a few months ago, only to have a creditor finally call her about a credit card she and an ex-boyfriend had used together three years ago! This card had been accruing interest for 36 months! Since she knew he didn’t have the money to pay it off and it was affecting her credit, she took action to wrap up the situation. But she no longer had a down payment for her car.
Have you ever found yourself financially impacted by an ex-boyfriend, -girlfriend, -husband or -wife? Has your credit ever come back to haunt you from a relationship that’s been over for years? Were you able to redeem yourself financially, or are you still feeling the impact on your credit score?
How have your experiences made you more cautious or wiser when it comes to tying up your finances with someone else? What advice would you give to younger daters who may not realize the consequences of becoming financially yoked to someone?
Permalink | Comments (259) | Categories: Relationships
Public display of absolutely too much
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
It started out with some serious cuddling.
But then it evolved into a smooch or two.
And before I knew it, things were getting really steamy. Really fast.
Only I wasn’t involved. I was just watching. Or at least, I was trying not to watch, but it’s difficult when your friends are demanding attention with their PDA in the middle of dinner with 10 other people!
I’ve never considered myself a prude when it comes to being affectionate in public, but I must admit I had become uncomfortable once the situation escalated. Isn’t that what private dates are for?
Are you comfortable participating in public displays of affection? Are you comfortable with other people’s PDA? Is there a point at which, honestly, you just need to get a room? Have you ever been with someone in public and realized, “We need to go somewhere. Now.”
Does it depend on what’s happening—a smooch versus full-on groping? Or does it depend on where it’s happening—on the corner in Little Five Points versus the a nice restaurant or the Fox Theatre?
Permalink | Comments (263) | Categories: Dating
Have you seen this person?
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Yesterday a group of friends and I went out for lunch, catching up on each other’s weeks and what was still to come the following week. This was a coed group of people, some of whom know each other well and some of whom are new in our social circle.
One of my girlfriends suddenly asked, as if it had just popped into her head, “Where’s Christie?”
“Christie is dating Jordan,” someone announced, which really translates as “Christie has chosen to spend seven out of seven days a week with her boyfriend and has literally forgotten about the rest of the world she used to live in. She’s planning hip-attachment surgery as soon as she and Jordan can raise the money to do so.”
Sigh. It’s the disappearing act some people pull when they start dating. What’s so unfortunate about it is that Jordan is actually a part of our group. It’s not as if he’s some guy she just recently met who has to go through the awkwardness of meeting us! He’s already in!
Naturally, if you go from single to being in a relationship, some of your priorities are going to shift. Maybe your Saturday nights have been reassigned to your new beau. And maybe one of your weeknights, too. But there are five other nights (plus weekends!) in your schedule! Is a couple hours a week too much to ask for friends who have been there for you?
And it’s not just women who act this way. My friend James and his girlfriend (also both within our social circle) have fallen off the face of the earth since they became exclusive almost three months ago. No phone calls, no showing up for our regular nights, etc. Just one appearance last week for the first time in months.
Do you have friends who disappear once they start seriously dating someone? Have you ever been this person? When did you realize that a healthy dating relationship can also balance with healthy friendships?
How do you cope with friends who are MIA because of their dating choices? Do you welcome them back when they break up and realize the error of their ways? Or do you rationalize that you’re not going to waste time on someone who’s not putting effort into a friendship?
Permalink | Comments (188) | Categories: Relationships
Most Dateless Weekend
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
For the next 48 hours, the entire dating scene will be virtually deserted. There will be few actual dates this weekend and you can forget about Sunday brunch/movie date. It’s the football fan’s REAL Valentine’s day weekend. You know when they express their adoration for football, their first love!
If you are single and looking, you may have a few opportunities this weekend to score some numbers, do a little flirting, and maybe even turn some heads. Besides, if you are on the prowl, it’s good to find your prey in its native habitat. Defenses are down!
A few tips to help you out if you are mingling among other singles this weekend:
Do not to take it personally when the hot guy or girl you are talking to gets distracted by the game. Consider it a good sign if they actually acknowledge your presence. Thankfully, there will be commercial breaks!
Be sure to linger around the snacks. Hey, single people have to eat, right? Don’t worry, eating chicken wings can be sexy!
Ladies, don’t feel intimidated about joining a group of eligible bachelors. They won’t bite, and the game serves as an ideal ice breaker. You may have to do a little recon to find out who is single and who came with someone.
Also, don’t be alarmed if the seemingly quiet, laid back person you are chatting up suddenly starts screaming at the top of their lungs. Football fans can be pretty intense. Just watch for flailing arms and beer spills. You will be fine.
Get the digits at half-time. Check the ring finger. Keep your game face on!
What are your plans for the big Super Bowl weekend? Do you actually have a date?
Are you a football widow/widower? Does your SO completely ignore you on Super Bowl Sunday? Do you plan to try to squeeze in some romance somehow?
Who do you think will win? I will probably go to a Super Bowl party in Alpharetta. The host added a twist to donate items/money for a great cause, so it’s a win-win. As long as the screen is big, I’m happy.
Happy Friday everyone!!
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