Misadventures in Atlanta

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 8:18 AM | Link to this

For Real I just had to let you know that your list is a good one, realistic. ^5.

What he looks for in a female: • Logical Thinker • Not Crazy • Values Peace • Plans for the future • Likes people • Good with money • Patient • Knows how to struggle • Not a quitter • Proud (not too much) • Sense of humor • Hard worker • Pleasant demeanor • The ability to listen to what was actually said. • Accountable

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 8:26 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All

Very good topic Bella…

Let’s just hope the guys dont’ blow this out of the water!!! lol!

I can’t wait for SJ3000, 900K, Rell, Willie D Come through..this should be really interesting today. lol! Oh yeah Truth a.k.a Truly a big pile of $hit lmaoooooooooo!

GETTING POPCORN READY NOW

By Dan

February 19, 2008 8:26 AM | Link to this

@Beautiful

Hell of a list, right on!

I find women that have a lot of these characteristics in the women I meet, all except pride (too much) and accountability.

If you listen closely, you can hear the “victim mentality” of some young-minded women.

As advice, if you are dating a man and the past comes up, phrase it so that not only did you learn from what happened, but that it wasn’t completely and all his fault. Be grown look like you’re taking some accountability for your actions/reactions (even if you don’t mean it), we guys love that!

By Dan

February 19, 2008 8:35 AM | Link to this

Having been stalked….

If you want to meet my parents too early on, we’d talk about the speed of the relationship the first time, and then a restraining order (if necessary).

If you leave something at my house, see above comment.

If you act like ole girl in that movie (no matter how fine you are), see comment one.

I’ve learned the hard way, don’t take the “signs” lightly. You don’t keep driving into accidents, you try to avoid them! lol

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this

Bella, way to go girl! Everyone knows I am always calling on the blog bruhs for advice. I am with you blow me, I can’t wait for those characters to step in the room either. Btw, Good morning all!!!!!!

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this

Dan good morning you! there’s bloggers that come on here with these lists that are so lame i just scream cause no women can be all that. but For Real used common sense and waalaa! i can do that or become that list. there may be two or three things that i need to work on, no sweat.

also, immediately after i left my ex for cheating, i blamed him 100%. after being here in GA far away from him, i do realize that it was 50% my fault. i see where we both went wrong.

By Dan

February 19, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this

@Beautiful

Knowing is half the battle…..

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 8:46 AM | Link to this

Morning, everyone. :-)

Off-topic selfish plug: For those of you who might care to read it, I’ve just finished the March issue of my newsletter and it’s now available on my Web site.

On-topic “What really appeals to quality men?”

What appeals most to me is a woman who demonstrates a certain depth of maturity - in her behavior, demeanor and speech - along with a sense of not thinking she’s the “sun” and I’m just a “planet” revolving around her. A woman who’s secure and confident enough to admit she has needs, as opposed to someone who always of a mind to “do bad all by herself”, is sure to attact a “quality” man (such as myself.) :-)

By pisces08

February 19, 2008 8:51 AM | Link to this

Morning All. Where do I start… I think a woman, any woman should be open to love/mate at any place or time. I mean, don’t catagorize men. It’s ok to have “your list”, but be open to the possibilities. I like the list above. ^5!

By Foots

February 19, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

Good morning! Glad to see that this can be a continuation of the topics we started to talk about yesterday evening.

For Real I respect your list. My desire is to find a man like that also. Have you yet found a woman who fits that profile or are you actually looking for her? If no, why not?

By Page1908

February 19, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

Today is gonna be interesting:)

By Foots

February 19, 2008 9:08 AM | Link to this

Dan Since you find women with the characteristics on For Real’s list regularly, except for one or two, could you be happy with one of them who meets the other 86% of the requirements? (he had 15 items on the list, and your women meet 13, for 86.7%)

Or are you waiting for a woman who meets 100% of your requirements?

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 9:12 AM | Link to this

Good morning, everyone.

I see it’s the men’s turn today, so I’ll let y’all know that I’m paying attention and “listening”…well, just to the stuff that’s not foolish. ;-)

Have a great day folks.

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this

Thanks FOOT for asking…self checking questions….lol!

By Dan

February 19, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this

@Foots

Ideally, I strive for 100% of everything in life: the effort I give to people/things and the effort I expect in return. To answer your question, I would be happy with 50% or even 35%.

I realize that I may meet my wife while we are on two different life paths at different times, but as long as we’re committed to one another we’ll sync up eventually (hopefully a positive trend).

That being said, I’m learning to take people as they are, not as I would have them to be. But like I said, I’m still working…I am still a rather shallow b*******.

By Dan

February 19, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

@Blow Me

Dig it, my life is full of self-examination/ self-check questions. That, in my opinion is the journey. If I’m not misquoting “the greatest jihad is the study of self”.

So please believe that: 1) I do have an ego (you would too, if you were me); 2) I am working on it.

By DreamsMaterialize

February 19, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

Good Morning

The main thing I would tell women is to confront your past. Not just the recent past that involves dating, but the WHOLE past. Your past affects every relationship or random interaction you will ever have, for better of for worse. Confront your past, acknowledge how it’s affecting your life, and commit to making changes where the effects are having a negative impact.

By Foots

February 19, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

Dan So if you would be happy with 35%, you’re not choosing these 86% women because you’re on different paths right now?

By Demi

February 19, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

To answer your question, I would be happy with 50% or even 35%

In truth Dan, most dudes are happy with a woman who meet 15%-20% of whatever mental check lists he has…For MOST women, if dude is only meeting 99.99% of her mental check check lists, she is moving on to the next dude..LOL

But none of our blog sisters think that way…Who am I kidding,LOL

By Foots

February 19, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

Dreams Very good point about the past. ^5

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

Demi You are completely wrong…If I met a dude who can give me 75% of what I need…I am telling you right here and right now!

I am getting down on one knee and proposing to that cat!!! Lmao!! That’s how serious that is! I will do the PROPOSAL!!lol!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this

Demi “…if dude is only meeting 99.99% of her mental check check lists…”

“only” Good one, Demi. LOL!

By Dan

February 19, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

@Dreams

Right on, hi five, fa sho!

From the primary relationship, to that first boy/girl you had a crush on, all those relationships inform and form the process for the future.

@Foots

Becuase I am a shallow b**. I see ‘em, but looks don’t press me, a good head on her shoulder don’t press me, what impresses me is her drive…yeah, I see ‘em. But you gotta go for what you want in life, and that includes me.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

Good Morning!

Dreams no list??? you just added a great point. “Confront your WHOLE past”…. I to think there are some ‘negatives’, whether direct or indirect that come to bite us from our past relationships.

By SeanJohnson3000

February 19, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this

A man have to have a code….Omar Little

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

BLOW!!!!!!!! I am with you, I tell you I am with you 1000% I am on both knees and I might just do it as a 1 hand, hand stand. Now how do you luv that?

By mytwocents

February 19, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this

Hola! Now Blow, I actually believed your claim of innocence yesterday hahaaaaa… Dan What qualifies a lady as a stalker per se? (Wondering if men are more or less lenient than us when applying that label. And Darrell that probably is a pervasive mentality. Makes me reflect on how we sometimes define what we DON’T want instead of channeling energies into what we DO.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this

Dreams

To your (excellent) point about women confronting their “whole” past, I would add just one caveat which is: while confronting your past, be sure not to confront the man in the process.

By Foots

February 19, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

Demi You really think that’s true? It’s unfortunate to say, but women are the ones who will stay with a dude who beats her, talks down to her, cheats on her, etc. and will do her best to keep that home together. No doubt you know women like this because you’ve mentioned them before on the blog. If a woman would be satisfied with a man like that, I’d think that if she got 99.999% of what she was looking for, I think she’d jump over the moon.

It’s surprising that men who would settle for so little in a woman still cannot choose a woman to settle with. That leads me to think that it’s more of a timing issue, being that the man is just not ready to settle down.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

They showed “Hitch” on tv this weekend.

The opening scene is right on, I don’t know any woman who doesn’t want to be swept off their feet.

So pisces, we’re open. We’ve just gotta be under the right circumstances.

By Foots

February 19, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

Dan Becuase I am a shallow b. I see ‘em, but looks don’t press me, a good head on her shoulder don’t press me, what impresses me is her drive…yeah, I see ‘em. But you gotta go for what you want in life, and that includes me.

I don’t think that For Real even mentioned looks. If these women that you meet have 86% of the items on the list, why wouldn’t you want one of them?

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

Darrell The latter of this statement- A woman who’s secure and confident enough to admit she has needs, as opposed to someone who always of a mind to “do bad all by herself”! is what i call Idependent Ignorance. i have had this mind set but i remind myslef that it ain’t about a ‘hill o beans’…

By Dan

February 19, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this

@ 6’1 and Blow

The men you seek are all around you, they work at Mc’D, Walgreens, and with you. You can’t see them becuase you don’t want to “see” them.

I bet if either of you named 5 cats that you knew and thought of them honestly, you’d have 5 to choose from right then.

By Page1908

February 19, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

As usual, dudes talking about women and what we need to do. Many, in fact, probably most, of you guys on here have the same issues as women do.

By SexyLeggs

February 19, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Good morning. I’m looking forward to read what the men have to say. I would like to be w/someone who gives 100% as this is what I would give.

Yes, leave the past in the past and don’t bring it into the present. Confront it then bury it!

Which men should women run from instead of to men who lack a conscious!

By pisces08

February 19, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

@ARed. What do you consider the right circumstances? And, to add to my last post, only 2 healthy people can have a healthy relationship. Which means I agree on the “confront your past” comment.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli “Independent ignorance”. Well-said and I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve never understood the necessity of some women to present themselves with superhero music playing in the background. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah. I know. You’re the one doing me the favor.” /sacrcasm

By Dan

February 19, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

@Foots,

Looks matter, they do. Attraction is a human characteristic, it’s built into the genome to determine which potential mate would provide the offspring capable of sustaining life.

So yeah, looks do matter, to me. But my point is that there have been, and continue to be, women on the periphery of my life that choose not to be involved. They choose to merely comment from the side line and then, out of the blue, decide to tell me about feelings they have (not coincendentally, when I am with someone else).

It gets on my nerves. If you see a bruh you want, let him know. Like the last convo with CeeMee, “speak your mind, and let your azz follow”. Foolishness and childishness bothers me.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

The men are right. There are good ones everywhere. There are plenty that comprise most of our “lists.” Heck ALL of my guy friends do.

But they’ve also gotta give you butterflies.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

pisces - Every guy who looks good on paper is not the guy you’re meant to be with. Right circumstances: Within in God’s plan (not yours), timing, mental readiness, laws of attraction, etc.

The whole confront your past thing is a good one, but there are plenty of healthy people who haven’t found that special someone. I personally am a woman of faith, so I don’t stress about when it’s gonna happen. It just will. So it’s all good.

By pisces08

February 19, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

@ARed. Explain the “butterflies” concept.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

Page Ditto, I notice the “we have’n the same issues as yall” with them men a long time ago as well.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

pisces - Where are you having trouble with the “butterflies” concept?

By Foots

February 19, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

Dan 86% PLUS these women have good looks? Dang! So you’re saying that you would be open to being serious with one of these women, but they fail to tell you how they may feel about you in time for you to do something about it? Is this after you have told them that you would like to date them or do you not let them know that you are interested? I’d hate to think that they are being disqualified because both of you are waiting on the other to make the first move.

Guys Do you wait for women that you are truly interested in to make the first move or are you willing to make that move towards her if she meets your requirements?

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

butterflies can’t eat, can’t sleep, smiling till your cheeks hurt, daydreaming, wanna tell the world, thinking of something cute to text, want to clean something, take long baths with music and the lights low, in a awesome mood, life all of a sudden seems beautiful.

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

Dan, I had what Oprah would call an “aha” moment this weekend. With this happening I have started opening my eyes because too many people told me that they were closed. I have this one man who I am sure walks around the entire building to past my office. I am not his superior even though I am a superior. With this being said, i have no reason to converse with him regarding work. But you would think that I am his direct supervisor the way he is always at my desk.

By SlimOne

February 19, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

Good morning…I’m really dragging today. Need a serious pick me up

By SexyLeggs

February 19, 2008 10:09 AM | Link to this

The “Strawberry Letter” this morning on The Steve Harvey Show was about the exact thing Foots stated at 9:45. This woman’s husband repeatedly cheats on her with other MEN, is a drunk, rob people homes and has a hit and run. This dumba$$ woman wanted to know if her husband was bi, and if she should stay w/him. Damn, why would a grown woman need to even ask! I don’t get it. In this instance, what’s love got to do with it!

When a woman or a man decides to stay in negative, debilitating relationships for fear of being alone only tells me this person is “dead inside.”

By Wow

February 19, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

? for Dan……why is it that when men speak about a good man he works at Walgreens or A&P……”The men you seek are all around you, they work at Mc’D, Walgreens, and with you. You can’t see them becuase you don’t want to “see” them. “ But if I were to say that I work at Krystals you would run for the hills!

I am sick of what’s good for me is not good for you. There is a double standard in America. The “good guy” is always portrayed as the blue collar worker that takes care of his six kids! I don’t want that I want a man that is doing his thing! And you are NOT doing your thing flipping burgers. I want you to put me on to new things, I want to feel like a little kid (little kid meaning that 1st love feeling) when I am around you and not just because you work at Mc D’s and can bring me a happy meal!

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

For Real nice list bruh.

Blow Job they need another order of fries up front.

On topic: After everything a man (a good man)wants a gentle place to land. He’ll go out and slay a dragon if he needs to but he’s not going to come home and have to fight you too. Position yourself as that soft place and and you’ll have his love.

With that being said, a man will cheat on a woman he loves but not a woman he respects. Just like a woman loses respect for a dude that doesn’t man up everytime you have an emotional outburst or want to argue over absolutely nothing you lose status. You go back to the rest of the pack which is a shame since you had obviously separated yourself from the pack.

If you’ve ever seen someone thats serious about their job you’ll understand what I mean when I say take your job serious. Thats your man, your child, your family. Act like it. I have dogs and I spend alot of time learning about their world and how we can co-exist in the best manner. I would do even more if it were my child, my wife, my family. I can read, study, talk with people who have gone through it, and finally learn by doing. Some women act like because a guy cares for them the job is over, actually its just beginning.

Also, don’t act with the intentions this is forever. Forever is reserved for those that do their job today. If a guy finds pleasure today he’s defintely coming back tomorrow.

Finally, life and love is a series of moments. If you miss the opportunity to brush up aginst your man, say something kind to your man, be that something soft in his world then you’ve filled those moments with mean mugging, arguments, long spells not talking, fights, disrespect, and finally a goodbye. Either way its your call but in the end we get what we gave.

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Very good question, Foots

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Darrell geeshh…i am doing you a favor …non-sarcasm thank you.:)

By DreamsMaterialize

February 19, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli No lists for me. Lists are just filters designed to reduce the amount of work you have to do to meet the right one. “Minimize effort, maximize results”; keeps you from wading through tons of sht while searching for the right one. Sounds good in principle, but not always that effective. I’m willing to put in the extra work and look places I might not usually consider if that means I can find the best woman for me, even if that means I have to wade through tons of sht first. lol

Darrell No doubt. That’s where the value of being single comes in. It gives you the time and flexibility to confront your past without inadvertently involving someone else.

By Willie Dynamite

February 19, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Morning All,

Good Topic today Bella. Let me address the topic before getting on these side-bar convo’s.

what advice you would give to women on the dating scene 1st of all Be yourself and have fun. Dating is as much about having fun as it is choosing a mate. Try not to let the process seem like a job or a project with deadlines. Be honest in your interactions. A man can only go by what he sees and hears. If you send your representative out on dates don’t be surprised if you get the same in return. You also need to have realistic expectations. Not to rain on your parade but that Prince Charming and happily ever after shyt happens in the movies. Also every man is not the same as the last 3 losers you dated. Keep your confidence up (confidence is sexy as hellz). Mind you I said confidence and not arrogance or narcissism. Last but not least WOMAN UP. IF not you’ll be 50 yrs old with the Cat and Quilt talking bout men aint shyt.

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

My Twocens You believed my innocence yesterday? I don’t think I understand.

Dan..Sorry why do women always have to expect the “Whatever” when it comes to men? I am straight on the McDonalds worker and Walgreens. That is not being equally yoked. Why you trying to hook me up with Calvin..? I am cool on that..Call me whatever…But that’s not how the damn game goes!!

SJ3000 What’s up? That’s all you have to say?

Ared I am with you…I am all ears…if it’s not foolishness! lmao!

6’1 Yeah it’s real in the field. I feel like today I am going p** alot ppl off in this blog today.

By pisces08

February 19, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

@ARed. Lets say, as a man, you meet a fine azz woman, looks good, and looks good on paper, but the man has no “butterflies”. Do you hang around, and wait for the “butterflies” to come, or what?

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

Foots - BRAVO on your 10:06. Are guys really waiting for women to pursue them? Really? And then they wanna wonder why they don’t let a man be a man and run his household?

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this

Yep, Beautiful, That’s Butterflies!! I want them, can you buy them in the store? Haven’t had them in so dayuuuuuuum long!!!!!

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 10:16 AM | Link to this

Sexyleggs what you just posted is the way it was back in the day. love had nothing to do with it. my ex’s mother told me to stay because he was a good father, had a damn good job that pays 100k yr, and just an overall great person. NOT!!! She/the caller must have came from the old school.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

pisces - Huh? I meet a fine azz woman? What you trying to say buddy? LOL

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 19, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

Mornin, What up Ladies

Good topic seeing as I did listen to Frank Ski this morn bout a girl on a blind date. Well my advice is for women to let the past go when it comes to dating. Because when you have all these issues from the men you’ve dealt w/ in the past the new guy is on “thin ice”. There are too many a-hole/ jerks runnin around in this world so when you bump into one don’t jump up kickin yelling & screamin. You’re not special, everyone has to weed out the idiots in life so that we can appreciate the good people on this planet.

Which men should women run from instead of to, and vice versa? Let’s have it, men! Give us your “femlaws!” -to this I say Stick To The Basics! look for positive traits that men have regardless of what they do for a living or where they live. I think women have issues understanding that most men aint defined by what they do for bread. I honestly think that even when one has a so called dream career that comes with a affluent lifestyle it needs to be clear that they are more than the career. So if Mr. Corp top 100 cant stop talkin bout work brings his work home consistantly, and is always suited up even at the ballpark he may not have much to offer beyond that. Or; if you deal with a man that refers to himself as a “D-Boy” then you need to leave cause he is not going to give you much more than that.

By SexyLeggs

February 19, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

Butterflies doesn’t necessarily have to occur up front. Butterflies can start out just like the caterpillar and catapult into butterflies.

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

TRUTH A.K.A. Truly a big pile of s** Kiss a$$…

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Truth - I love that part about respect vs. love.

I like the other stuff too. I think I’m too young in love (or haven’t experienced deep enough hurt) to see it from that perspective, so thanks!

By kimmie

February 19, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

Ared - I feel you on the butterflies, they gotta be there! A lot of people try to ACT like they don’t understand this concept. I’ve had friends trip with me because I’ve let what THEY think are perfectly great guys go because there were no butterflies. I’VE also been LET GO because the guy felt no butterflies for me, yes I’ve been on the recieving end. Yes, I gave the guys a chance, but if it’s not there, it’s not there and you can’t make it be there, no matter how hard you try or how many months & years pass. I really believe that EVERYONE deserves someone that gives them that feeling.

I stepped out of my usual comfort zone and began dating the guy I am seeing now. ON PAPER, he may not meet many a woman’s “list”, but he definitely gives me butterflies - he does it for ME. I don’t care what other people might think.

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

Blow me, when I tell you that is my favorite saying but I must elongate it. “It real in the field, hard on the yard and don’t nobody want me sitting on their dayuum porch.” Why everybody gotta be mean to the tall girl? Dayuum, Dayuum, Dayuuuuuuuuum James!

By SexyLeggs

February 19, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

900K, the girl on V-103 was horrified at her date. A supposedly grown man chewing gum and sticking in on the end of a toothpick and then placing it on a napkin on the dinner table is childish. Where’s the common sense? He then asked her to pay the tab or at least half.

I think I’ll continue to date myself for right now!

By Raqi

February 19, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

LOL Wow that is the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Foots “Guys Do you wait for women that you are truly interested in to make the first move or are you willing to make that move towards her if she meets your requirements?”

I don’t look at it in the context of making the “first move” or not. I simply do what’s most comfortable for me, which might mean being direct in one instance and less so in another. It all depends on the setting and what “signals” or “vibes” I’m receiving at the time.

I’ll readily admit that I can be somewhat shy at times, so I’m probably a little more hesitant than most when it comes to direct introductions. But if logistics aren’t an issue, I’d be more inclined to slip you a note or a card or leave a voicemail at a contact number. That’s just me.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Dreams that is some real deal…you shouldn’t have a problem finding Mrs. Dreams with the wade through the bllsht philosiphy vs the list approach.

WillieD Try not to let the process seem like a job or a project with deadlines. Be honest in your interactions. SIMPLY said Simon. Forget so much of the “red tape” and have fun.

By Dan

February 19, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

@6’1 right on, check the dude out if he strikes your fancy.

@Wow: the D has dated women all across the financial spectrum, and oh yes, even from the cookie factory stand in the mall (I thought she was beautiful, we dated for 12 months till she left for the Navy).

@Foots: What I mean is, like the guy you know that you kinda like, would you tell him? If not, why? Why not do something about how you feel?

That said, I am in constant flux between cities and states and the like. And to get a text message or email (weeks after we’ve gone our seperate ways) professing romantic feelings…is just plain young to me. Why now? You had 2 months to tell me. What now? We’re seperated by time zones and states.

Or, or, the babes from the high school and college days that, get your number, hit you up and then unload this emotional barrage of stored feelings.

It’s not my fault! Nor is it my problem!

If you see me, don’t just stare say something, because I’m trying to make a mil, and the grind got me. I will slow down for what intrigues me, and I will make that effort when the situation arises. Otherwise it’s on you, just don’t tell me 7 years/months later.

Sorry about the long post

By the truth

February 19, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Blow me, You’re too stupid to be on the internet. Go blow your dog. Maybe you should get a job and lose weight. Lay off the popcorn. Your 250 lb. butt could use a treadmill.

My advice to single women is to stop emulating ANY Hollywood w*******. Grow up and quit getting yourselves in to bad situations. Don’t expect the guy to do all the work. Stay away from gossip. We hate that crap. And remember, it is not about you, you, you. Also, quit pmsing all over this blog.

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

What up Blog… said while walkin’ in rollin’ up shirt sleeves.

Do: 1. Be a LADY. 2. Keep that hair tight. 3. Aim for resolution and compromise instead of victory. 4. Separate from your girls when you go out. It makes you a little more approachable. 5. Be conscious of your tone when posing questions - Most dudes like conversational lines of questioning but HATE interrogation. 6. And For Real’s list

Don’t: 1. Let me hit it that first week 2. Overdose me with 10 calls a day 3. Ask me why I didn’t answer my phone 4. Accidentally drop/leave ish (earrings backs, pan-teez, lipstick, hair, etc.) at my crib, however minute. (I’m doing a thorough sweep when you leave) 5. Lie

On percentages, the movie said 80/20. But since we all know that wifey’s gon’ slip a notch or two once she has that paper, a girlfriend prospect is gonna have to come in at least 90% to considered for the wifey role. LOL

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

February 19, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

@ Page 1908 You brought me out of lurkville to say ^5. Exactly!

By Foots

February 19, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

900k I honestly think that even when one has a so called dream career that comes with a affluent lifestyle it needs to be clear that they are more than the career.

You hit on something with this one. A well-rounded man is key. One who is about business, but business isn’t all he’s about. A man that works 12 hour days may end up being successful in his career, but that doesn’t leave enough time for family and relationship. And what really matters anyway? That’s something I look for, a man who can live life outside of himself, a man who can multi-task and have connections with family and community, not only his career.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

kimmie - Great post. I’m so happy for you and your fella. Best of luck to you both.

By Foots

February 19, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

Dan That’s a little different. What I read before was that you have all these incredible women in your orbit, much more than the 35% you’re willing to accept, but somehow you never make it together because she doesn’t tell you how she feels.

I’ll submit this to you: If you already know these women you speak of, and already know that they are what you are looking for, the grind isn’t keeping you from making your dreams come true. What is?

By Demi

February 19, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

Foots I was just being an a$$…Women who allow men to mistreat them usually think her love can change him…Issssshid, women seems to love you the most when they’re been dogged. Rarely are you love back when you’re doing the right things…on a regular basic

It’s surprising that men who would settle for so little in a woman still cannot choose a woman to settle with.

I blame dyck for wanting new puddy now and then…But in the same breathe, a real man is in full control of his dyck at all time and knows how to count the costs…of screwing up, LOL

Blow nah, something tells me you don’t even put a percent anything, on those men you date…you either feel him or you don’t…after that, you’ll see what you can or can not tolerate bout that dude, LOL

On the real, this percentage thingy is a joke. Life is full of surprises!!!

As usual, dudes talking about women and what we need to do. Many, in fact, probably most, of you guys on here have the same issues as women do.

Yep, both sides are crazy!!!

By DreamsMaterialize

February 19, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

Gotta be careful about those butterflies…they can warp your perspective. I have a friend who was in a relationship with this guy who dogged her every chance he got, even admitted several times that he didn’t love her. This was 10 years ago, and to this day she claims that was the best relationship. Yeah, he gave her “butterflies”, but nothing else. lol

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 10:33 AM | Link to this

There’s a lot of talk on here about “butterflies” and while I completely understand that, I have to say that I’d much rather have a woman who can see past the color and beauty of the “butterfly stage” and still love me during those times when I revert back to the catepillar I once was.

By pisces08

February 19, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

@ARed. Nah… you know what I mean. If I meet… What if everything else is there, but no butterflies?

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

Beautiful butterflies: can’t eat, can’t sleep, smiling till your cheeks hurt, daydreaming, wanna tell the world, thinking of something cute to text, want to clean something, take long baths with music and the lights low, in a awesome mood, life all of a sudden seems beautiful.

Butterflies = lust and/or Good D <=== Would that be a good deduction? If not how long do butterflies last? Raqi/other women in long-term relationships Do yoll still have butterflies.

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

Ahh, Truth, you took my comments to heart yesterday, thanks for CRANKING it up before 4:30! lol :))

By QueDogTeaching

February 19, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

What up blog Said while wondering if I can get some bacon and eggs.

On-Topic My advice to women of Atlanta is to:

1) Learn from the past. Don’t take the hurt with you, take the lesson learned and accept the role you had in what happened to you. Then move on.

2) Live in today. That guy you meet today is just that, a guy you met today. Not like the last guy, and not your future husband, until it is confirmed. If it doesn’t work out, don’t throw stones and have a pity party. Just move on.

3) Have dreams for the future. And not relationship dreams, but dreams for you. Stop talking! Stop over talking your true feelings, and doubting the way someone new might feel about you, and everything else will fall in line. Be ready to move forward in life.

All in all just be openly happy, smile, laugh, and give out handshakes and hugs. Be a woman.

Just my thoughts.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

Blue you’ve stated tight hair before Lol…i see you ((((o)))) ((((0)))).

Hey Ms U!

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Dreams and Darrell - There is a healthy balance and medium between butterflies and common sense.

When we’re younger, we can get caught up in feelings and no substances. As we age, we should be able to seek people who compliment us in addition to making our knees buckle.

By Dan

February 19, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

@BK: right on!

@Truth: Dead right. When did it get to be all about a woman, when there are so many to choose from? Not that devalues the package each woman offers, but the incentives are becoming more important.

@Foots: Being well rounded is a necessity in this day and age, if you don’t take the time, no one will give it to you. I try and spend the time enriching my life as best I can, and know a 100 other brothers just like me. And usually, that where you catch a man at his best, doing something he loves.

By Foots

February 19, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

Blue LOL! I can’t stand it either when a dude asks me why I didn’t answer my phone. What I really want to say at that point is “Because I saw it was you.”

About slippage, a lot of what For Real listed had to do with the woman’s character, who she is on the inside. Those things don’t really change or slip. If you can find a woman of good character with a nappy weave, what’s a man to do? She can change her hair in 2 hours, but what’s on the inside may take a lifetime to change.

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Little Truth funny stuff.

Blow lets agree not to blog together anymore.

Ared its funny you bring up butterflies because that is something I’m not looking for. The last girl I dated we just walked up to each other and started talking and that lasted for 2 years. It was never about anything but we were able to be around each other in our current state.

BK dayummm bruh, someones been in the jewel chest. “3. Aim for resolution and compromise instead of victory.” Do I have your permission to use that one in the future and act like I came up with it? LOL

By Demi

February 19, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

…and still love me during those times when I revert back to the catepillar I once was.

sounding Gay as hell

Ewwwwwww

LOL

By Rell

February 19, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

lets try this again

attraction is not a chose….that explains the butterflies

i had alot of stuff posted before it was eaten by the blog

long story short….we like women to have a play in the game..meaning if you feeling us if we dont approach we dont mind if you do…dating is about exploration, so all that leaving stuff or meeting parents is not for dating….and a relationship we look for respect, loyality, and devotion…we look for a women who can fill all the bullet points.

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Truth Wow…How old are you again? You have some serious growing up to do. You can’t if have a decent convo with out trying into a 6yr old kid throwing tantrums and name calling. You are BI-POLAR. You have such a problem with women you always come off BITTER and Scorn. *You are undeniable the biggest beeyatch on the BLOG!! Pull ya skirt down! *

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 19, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Leggs -A supposedly grown man chewing gum and sticking in on the end of a toothpick and then placing it on a napkin on the dinner table is childish. -exactly, but I say “Get Over It! she’s on the radio screamin and yellin why?? Cause she met a jerk… wow she thinks that she is above everone else so this should never happen to her. But what I picked up from her convo I got her sayin how she only kicks it w/ the So-Called “thugs & gangsta’s” so I’m sure she’s been burnt by those dudes plenty so now she goes out and meets ONE blue collar 9-5 type like she’s doing the little guys some kind of favor. Mr 9-5 turns out to be a jerk and she yells: “I quit!!!”. I see this a typical woman act, you step outside of your lil girl misguided comfort zone, give it maybe 1 or 2 tries then she Quits.

Foots -That’s something I look for, a man who can live life outside of himself, a man who can multi-task and have connections with family and community, not only his career -I really like that statement and I wish you could go out and teach your “preteen” minded grown (25yr+) sista’s out there to look for these types of qualities and not just fantasize about the meatball they’re with being this way. I see alot of woman trapped by their own mind, simply wishing that their man-boy would grow up instead of getting with a Grown azz MAN.

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

BK dyck has nothing to do with butterflies. lol. you silly!

6’1 im looking forward to getting butterflies again too.

Truthbaby waving.

By the truth

February 19, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

6’1 & luvin it, ????????????????????????? You’re a strange person.

By Page1908

February 19, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

MsU Girl, seriously! It’s the same ole, same ole. It’s like either women are messed up because of “daddy” issues or something else, depends on the day. Many dudes have baby mamas, but of course, none of that applies to them. Many dudes have daddy issues, too, but again, no mention of that at all.

MO I’m telling you, dude is totally nasty.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

pisces - Well, being a woman, I can’t speak to what a “man” should do.

But back to my point…there are TONS of women who will look good to you on paper. Not all of them will be the one for you. So how do you distinguish… I’d start with the one that compells you to learn more, the one that you think about when you should be focused on something else, the one that gets your blood racing.

As SexyLeggs says, it may be there from the jump, or it may evolve over time. But it needs to be there.

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Kimmie ON PAPER, he may not meet many a woman’s “list”, but he definitely gives me butterflies - he does it for ME.

Keep us posted on how this turns out. I feel you on the butterflies, but that damn sho ain’t gon’ put you in the winners circle. When the goin’ gets tough, I’m gon’ need some intestinal fortitude in ya gut, not some flighty azz butterflies in mine.

Cee I can’t emphasize enough, how loudly a woman’s hair speaks to me.

By me

February 19, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Yes, I have been in a relationship for 9 months and still have the butterflies :)

By SeanJohnson3000

February 19, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

@ Blow..i have only skimmed the blog so i may repeat some things…but addressing your past is a VERY good point..some females are not ready to date on a serious level but insist on it….another thing is to look in the mirror …if you stay in bad unhealthy relatioships…..do a self examination..since you are the common demoninator of the equation….you only live once..so enjoy dating..and date men from diff backgrounds and step out of the box…u will find love in some places u wil never expect..stop going out with crutches..in other words..sometimes women in packs are their worst enemies..misery loves company so go out solo so YOU can be the center of attraction with out a cast of female judges thats gonna want you to shoot down every candidate….another thing..just like men have to soar our wild oats..women do too…get it out of your system before getting into anything serious..

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

I like knees buckling and butterflies dayuumit, do they have a website for that.

By abc

February 19, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

What QDT said.

Have interests, know things, be engaged in endeavors of your own, be able to carry on an intelligent conversation. If chemistry is right, the sparks will fly — then it’s incumbent upon both parties to be real, be sane, be smart and be together.

By Wow

February 19, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

Thanks for the cosign Raqi

WOW is about to beast……TRUTH…..WTF are you talking about? “Grow up and quit getting yourselves in to bad situations. Don’t expect the guy to do all the work. Stay away from gossip. We hate that crap. And remember, it is not about you, you, you. Also, quit pmsing all over this blog.”

Why is it when a woman speaks her mind she is pmsing….if it wasn’t for her “pmsing” you wouldn’t be here! As for me I am NOT blaming anyone for past relationships. But if EVERY woman is saying the same thing they can’t ALL be complaining B%^^s! And the real problem is that guys don’t want to do ANY work….stop running behind the girl that has her a$$ out and try to WORK on getting the good girl to show hers after yall fall in love! Or better yet go get you a BLOW UP DOLL because that is the only way to have a woman around you that won’t speak!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

Amazon “There is a healthy balance and medium between butterflies and common sense.” Or at least there should be. The “butterfly effect” has been known to cause people to become possessive, overbearing, smothering, controlling, jealous - not to mention stalkers. And that’s just for starters.

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

Yeah I am with all the LADIES on the Butterfly effect. It has to be there. To me….it never goes away. I seen my Ex over the weekend. And I still had the butterflies for him…it’s always there. That’s the best feeling in the world…..Blow is now off daydreaming…..wishing she could get the feeling again

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

Blue… 3. Aim for resolution and compromise instead of victory. Estrogen vs Testosterone who wins? One HAS to either compromise which most time is the resolve.

900K you tapped into something. —-> look for positive traits that men have regardless of what they do for a living. Not so hard if the woman can be somewhat pragmatist.

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

Little Truth lmao but cut that shyt out.

Blow not that I care but thats not me posting. It is funny as hell tho.

Beautiful waving back and sending smooches.

For everyone, male and female, before you go out there looking for the one go home and heal yourself. Love is a full contact sport and its hard to play when you come in the game injured.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

Truth - Your “I’m not looking for butterflies” brings up a question… have some of us become jaded about love and romance or have our needs really evolved to something deeper.

I can still feel and remember butterflies from loves I had 10 years ago. While there are more important things to focus on in looking for a mate, I don’t think I’ve become so jaded to not want to have that present in my “adult” relationship.

Is it unrealistic for us to shoot for the moon once we hit a certain age?

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

little itty bitty truth stop with all the name callin’!!! juvenile.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

February 19, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

@Blue Kola

Honestly the butterflies usually fly away within a month, i don’t like the butterfly concepts becauseI it’s more to a relationship than butterflies. So much more. You are able to see exactly what you are working with once that phase pass. We all know that a lasting relationship is hard work on both party and trust you going to need more than butterflies when things get ugly and believe me they will get ugly.

By DreamsMaterialize

February 19, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

ARed No doubt, that’s why I said you have to be careful about the butterflies, have to keep it in perspective.

I agree there’s a healthy balance, but I think a guy’s balance tends to be different from a woman’s. We probably put more weight on what complements us than on the butterflies.

By Dan

February 19, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

@Foots (and whoever else that wants to chime in):

I am to: introduce myself, court you, romance you, be everything that you ever needed/wanted in a man, marry you, take care of you until I die (first, wonder why?). Then, what do you do? Just be there for all that?

In ‘08, there are women that have taken this mindstate to it’s logical conlusion “I just have to be me, that’s what I bring to a relationship.” They are single.

Then there are the women that understands that a man wants a partner, not a slave. And that to be a partner is to engage in every aspect of the relationship from begininng(introductions by either party) to the end (I want you to committ ritual suicide when I go, lol).

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

Darrell - Don’t blame the butterflies. It’s not the butterfly effect…IT’S THEM. Some of you guys need to admit you got a bad apple and keep it pushing. This goes back to the past. We’ve all been wronged (some more than others) but SO WHAT? What does that have to do with today? Learn from it and move on. Some of us are too caught up in what happened in yesteryear.

If you’re still living, breathing and stronger than before, thank those azzholes for the life lessons and move on to bigger and better things! :-)

Yes, it is that simple.

By Raqi

February 19, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

BlueK That deduction is inaccurate.

And yes I still do get them. But not so much as Beautiful described. The thing is you don’t know when it is going to happen. It just do. Sometimes he can just walk in room, or we can be sitting on the couch and he grabs my hand or he walk by and wink. You never know what will trigger it. And it is not for a want of sex. It’s just that giddy school girl feeling.

I believe he gets them too. LOL

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

Truth Do I have your permission to use that one in the future and act like I came up with it? LOL

Jewels are meant to be passed, not horded. It’s yours.

Red I’d start with the one that compells you to learn more, the one that you think about when you should be focused on something else, the one that gets your blood racing.

I’m gon’ co-sign you there slim. The right woman will help elevate a dude just that much more.

Truth/Blow It’s quite obvious that you two actually like each other at least a little bit. Otherwise neither of you would give a dizzam about what the other said and one of you would shut the fugg up. LMAO aim to resolve and not win. hahahahaha

By kimmie

February 19, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

Dreams and others - What I, Ared and others mean by butterflies, is when everything is supposedly there, but something is missing - usually it’s a case where they might be a perfectly great lady or guy, but they just don’t do it for you. I’ve seen heartbreaking cases of this. You meet a person and they are great and you want so bad to love them, but they don’t do it for you. People on the outside looking in think you are being shallow, unless they’ve been there themselves. And butterflies should not completely blind you to a person’s serious flaws, but it helps you live with the smaller ones that might otherwise drive you crazy! Dreams, that chick you were talking about had other issues.

By Science

February 19, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

The “butterflies” that have been referred to are a biochemical reaction in the amygdila, the area of the brain that stimulates the “fight or flight” response and also the pituitary to produce endorphins.

Science has found another chemical that explains why the “butterflies” go away. This is because of the introduction of the chemical oxytocin. This is the chemical produced when our brain recognizes something familiar: sound, smells, sights. This chemical is what bonds people together as families.

So, the butterflies are chemical and the reason they leave are checmical reactions as well.

Interesting information

—Science

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 11:07 AM | Link to this

Amazon “If you’re still living, breathing and stronger than before, thank those azzholes for the life lessons and move on to bigger and better things! :-)”

CLASSIC! LOL!!!

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

ROTFLOL @ Demi you don’t care for the caterpillar huh?

Blue I’ve only heard the keep you hair nice from my ‘bruh’ enough to know a man likes a woman with nice hair. It’s cute…

Hey Mr. 900K.

By Wow

February 19, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

@ 900K aka Mr 2008 10:43 AM You went hard on Nina B! She didn’t say that was her 1st 9-5er and she also didn’t say that she had been in horrible relationships. Dude was 35 30 mins late and chewing on a tooth pick the whole time! And why is it that guys always assume that if one dates a thug that she has been beat to sleep! I have dated one on the nicest men that treated me better then gold who happened to be an educated so called “thug”. Let’s try to get to know people before we throw them under the bus. “Everyone with dreads is not for the cause and everyone with gold’s is not for the fall.”

By QueDogTeaching

February 19, 2008 11:12 AM | Link to this

abc that is also a major problem. A lot of women look for friends to jump on the band wagon with them to validate their feelings. If the friends say she is supposed to be with a guy she will go all out. If a friend says “girl you can do better” then she will leave dude alone. She never gets what really makes her happy, only what makes her friends happy. And nothing can make those women happy, so you get a whole unhappy click.

Women leave your bitter girlfriends alone and at home in their misery.

Because: Misery loves company.

By Raqi

February 19, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

LOL BlueK *”4. Accidentally drop/leave ish (earrings backs, pan-teez, lipstick, hair, etc.) at my crib, however minute.”

My friend Doc and I were kidding around with my friend Design telling her how to know if her SO is having other women at his place. I asked her where does he keep his razor. She said on the bathroom counter. I told her to put her right there next to his with a can of her shaving cream. If it is not there the next time she goes there, he moved it out of the sight of others. Doc told her to take her sexiest bathrobe and hang it on the back of the bathroom door. If it is moved then…

We told her this only applies when your SO has told you that you are the only one and he is ready to take that big leap. We had her going that day.

By Page1908

February 19, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

LOL @ Wow. lmao at dude with the toothpick and gum. ctfu

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

Dan you really don’t mean that. i know you don’t.

am to: introduce myself, court you, romance you, be everything that you ever needed/wanted in a man, marry you, take care of you until I die (first, wonder why?). Then, what do you do?

what did your mom do for your dad? when i had a family, i had never in my life worked so phuckin’ hard!!! i’m disappointed in your post.

By Rell

February 19, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

@fellas…some of you need to change your frame…meaning that you must study this art of seduction..it is not about just getting a women but the management of emotions for you and her…some of you miss the cues that allow you to associate those “butterfly” feelings to you..meaning once it is gone so is her desire for you….feel me..you have to truly bond with a women…and most of us bond in our child hood..so yes ladies the past plays a role in getting that bond with you…so we have to re-invent or make you regress back to those feelings..that is why we ask or lets say explore how you got to this point where we meet you..but the men have to re-invent themselves and lead the flow of the exchange a lil more..have more to do than the movies…

By mytwocents

February 19, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

Blow I meant this, silly: TRUTH A.K.A. Truly a big pile of s* Kiss a$$…* But you guys got a nice lil hate-hate relationship goin, so carry on!

900 I totally agree! WOW’s point is also valid. Many of y’all mention drive as a key factor and I wonder if you’re generous in your assumptions w/ the fast food/retail worker. Look @ her and decide she must want a franchise & is learning from the bottom up… She’s not lookin for a free ride. Mmmhmm ~ Worth the “investment!”

6”1’ Is that dude your Valentine’s crush? If so, step away from your keyboard & make it happen, chica.

BK Those are definitely DOable.

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

Wow while that wasn’t me posting I will reply to your post. In order to co-exist everyone involved must control their natural urges. Its mandatory. A guy really wants to go out and fugg everthing walking. He’ll curtail those activities if: 1) He’s ready 2) You give him incentives to do so. Neither will work on there own. A woman MUST control her emotions. Its mandatory for long term success. Nobody wants to live life on a rollercoaster and thats what a womans emotions are.

By mqew

February 19, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

Willie Yes sirrrrrr! Still have those butterflies. Been married for 11yrs. Was dreamin about him last night or this morning, not sure which. (Kicked him outta the bed cause of snoring). Wanted to go get him… but I just enjoyed the tinkly feeling and went back to sleep. Just thinking about it…. Just sent him an email about it, hadn’t told him yet. It is less often then the first few years, but I def get butterflies every now and again.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

Dan Uhm…did you just snap? @ …lightly There was a tone that sound like you re-entered the room walking reaaalll hard!?! LOL

Science thanks for the chemical breakdown of butterflies…aha.

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

Blue Kolla Wrong again!

WOW On point!

Truth You apology is accepted. lol!

By Foot2Azz

February 19, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

The men you seek are all around you, they work at Mc’D, Walgreens, and with you. You can’t see them becuase you don’t want to “see” them.

This is true…I consider myself to be a good man … and I work at McDonalds. Any time I tell a woman this I get the “Aww Damn” look because they don’t want to date the dude flippin burgers … plus I may smell like fries.

But after I finish putting foot2azz in whatever restaurant the higher ups tell me to go, I put on a suit an tie and resume the second half of my job description as Dir. of Customer Service. I never put my job title out there because its unneccessary … Hell I still work for McDonalds. Yeah I started from the bottom working fries and just so happened to work my way up to corporate.

Whatever happened to a woman recognizing the honesty in a hard working man’s eyes?

It seems if the package isn’t enclosed in a particular wrapping then the gift a man has to offer is disregarded as being cheap.

Ladies, if its butterflies your looking for just look at Mickey D’s value meal. I mean hey I haven’t met a woman yet who didn’t smile whenever I gave her a bag with a free cookie and french fries;) But if its too low class for you then I’m not mad at all for you steppin off… I simply can’t take the bougieness.

By Demi

February 19, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli I was chewing on one of those wormy candies when he posted that crap, LOL

Science….2 is that you or abc

My thoughts on “butterflies”: Any woman that springs manhood into action whenever I am around her.

The Butterfly affect for real fo reel.

By Raqi

February 19, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

Now that anxious “butterfly” feeling usually happens when I am looking forward to us going away together. In those situations yeah, I daydream about those lazy days ahead. Lying in bed snuggled up together with no where to go.

Those thoughts make me anxious. You know the hurry up and get thru the week so we can be off to wherever together.

Those are the same type of feeling that I use to get when I knew I was to see my high school sweetheart when I got to school.

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

Cee I’ve only heard the keep you hair nice from my ‘bruh’ enough to know a man likes a woman with nice hair. It’s cute…

Aight, I’ma go’ead and put that flag back in my pocket. LOL

Raqi And yes I still do get them. But not so much as Beautiful described. The thing is you don’t know when it is going to happen. It just do.

I got’chu. Hey Beautiful, those might not be butterflies that you talkin’ ‘bout. You might have the bubba guts. LOL

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

My friend married a man who had everything. Degree from Harvard and a masters from Stanford. Successful engineer rising in the game. 6’6. Handsome and one of the NICEST guys you’d ever meet. She’s known him since childhood and is without a doubt her best friend.

She married him because she loved him and he loved her and how could you NOT love and and respect a man who treated you like you hung the moon and the stars.

But 3 years into the marriage, she realized she settled. She gives him sex when she’s feeling it and it’s not often. She doesn’t go downtown.

She cheated on him with a guy with similar credentials who made her weak in the knees. Her husband knows and they are working it out. She learned to appreciate her husband more after the affair, but she knows that as long as she’s with her husband, she’ll never really have those feelings of butterflies and she realizes that there is more to it than looking good on paper.

And I feel bad because maybe there is that complete package for them both, but I guess they’ll never know.

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

Beautiful you are right dyck has nothing to do with butterflies, I usually get the butterflies before I get the dick. Truth, u think I am strange, get in line, but something must be wrong with you because everyone on here is going at you. Blow, I seen my ex this weekend too and I got a case of the butterflies too. AR, I think that you are never too old or mature for butterflies, I know people that have been married for thirty years and say that they still get butterflies when then their SO walk into the room or merely call them at work to see how their day is going.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 11:21 AM | Link to this

Science Ditto the props on your butterfly breakdown. ^5 Cemeeli, think I can pick up some oxytocin at GNC? :-)

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

February 19, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Hey Cee How is your handsome son?

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Demi ROTFL…The butterflies brkdwn…reads like 2 to me too…Lol..you siiily!

By kimmie

February 19, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Que - I like your 10:38.

BK - I think you all know what we are talking about with the butterflies. I dated a guy for 3 years and when he broke it off with me, basically that was the reason. When I was honest with myself, I realized I felt the same way. He was and is a great person and so am I. If we got married, I’m sure he would not have turned out to be a nutcase and would be down for me through thick and thin, as I would for him. But, we probably would have been living a life with no passion and excitement, in other words, no butterflies. We would have both settled. I was heartbroken. As for my current situation, I’m not concerned about making it to the winners circle with someone that I don’t do it for and does not do it for me. That’s not the case so far, so it’s all good, we all take a chance with love.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 19, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

Cee Cee - what up! My boys lost 3 straight BTW, so I’m going thru it! pragmatist -there you go with the Big words Gina!

WoW -And why is it that guys always assume that if one dates a thug that she has been beat to sleep! I never said anything about geeting beat/ spousal abuse. I said she had been burnt = hurt= heartbroken. If a man beats on women then he is a woman beater! It does not matter what he does for a living… Hustler who works at McD’s part time to keep the feds off your back, if you beat up your girl you’re just a Woman beating crakk dealer who flips burgers on the side. And to your post you said homie was one of the nicest men and was well educated, and thats exactly what I mean by sticking to the basics!!! oh BTW I dont throw people under the bus much, thats Melo LoL

By For Real

February 19, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!

Way to keep it going from yesterday Bella.

Foots I only meet women with those qualities but two things always get in the way. (1). I don’t want to be nor do I have time for a committed relationship. (2). The ladies all ways have pain from another relationship that’s buried deep, deep, deep down inside her and i don’t have the time nor energy to peel that onion.

My list has nothing to do with the physical. At this point in my life I realize the physical is a constant fading glory. With that being said, I do have a preference and I lead with it until I get to know the other half.

I haven’t read the comments but I am sure some ladies are listening and some are waiting to talk. In addition, I’m sure at some point if it has not already been covered, a lady will bring up the WOW FACTOR which is diametrically opposed to my list.

Two points:

For Real now dropping the mic and walking off the stage to massage Slim’s CT, squeeze 2E’s big booty, kiss Foots neck just below her ear, give Beautiful a forehead kiss, squeeze Mo’s inner thigh, kiss Sexyleggs hand, peck ARed on her soup coolers, and give Cee a big ole soft bear hug all while For Real is trying to recover the Bird Flu. Cough, Cough, Cough, spit, hawk, split.

By Been Thru It All

February 19, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

* foo2azz*

My man……(Denzel, American Gangsta)

By Demi

February 19, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

Foot2Azz LOL…nice post.

By Dan

February 19, 2008 11:27 AM | Link to this

@Foots: Don’t really know what she did for him, I wasn’t around then. But I saw how she treated/ and was treated by my stepfather, so I’ve seen it….

@CeeMee, naw just being honest. You know like I know, there are women out there like that for real.

@Wow: Please read Foot2Azz’s post at least three times….then reinterpret equally yoked for you and the man you seek. Would it be “equal” for him?

@Footz2: brother, I know how you feel, I’m the same dude I was when I was working at Walgreens, now I supposedly different because I don’t have a uniform on. But hang in there brother, what you want is a boughetto woman, and I know a few.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

Amazon Per your 11:20, I’m curious to know in what specific ways did your friend “settle”? Can you elaborate? (Just trying to make a distinction between what she specifically saw in the guy she cheated with as opposed to what she didn’t see in her husband.)

Also, do you think your friend is only delaying the inevitable (separation, divorce) by trying to work things out with her husband, knowing she still feels the same way?

By Raqi

February 19, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

Exactly Rell. There should be a life time of wooing in a relationship.

Whatever happened to the days of courting? Why is it that the woman has to be up on her game to snag the man these days and the men have to do nothing but exist?

By DreamsMaterialize

February 19, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Wow That scenario on V103 sounded too over the top to me. I personally think dude did all that on purpose. I think he was still salty that she was going to cancel their date. So, he did everything he knew would p** her off…show up late, leave the price tag on some cheap flowers, act loud and boisterous in the restaurant, order things he knew the restaurant didn’t serve, avoid all table manners… That wasn’t him, he was acting cuz he was still salty.

On another note, can we please dispell the illusion that so many women have of the sensitive thug. A thug is defined as a brutal ruffian or assassin. Sorry if ya’ll don’t like it, but a thug is more likely than not a woman beater. And Wow, you’re example is of a “so called thug”, not a REAL thug. So, are you all saying you want wanna-be thugs? Cuz any woman who’s dated a REAL thug will probably tell you she’s been “beat to sleep”. And your Outkast excerpt is taken out of context.

By Dan

February 19, 2008 11:31 AM | Link to this

@Raqi

Must we continually define the theory of mutuality? Really?

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

Raqi We told her this only applies when your SO has told you that you are the only one and he is ready to take that big leap.

I don’t get how a dude doesn’t think that his girl ain’t gon’ at least eye the crib when she comes over. I’m not sleuthin’ around her spot, but I’m gon’ notice if stuff is out of place, toilette seat up, timbo boot print in the carpet, etc.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

Darrell - She settled for a guy who didn’t “light her fire.” She married him because he was nice, successful and treated her well.

While that’s great, anyone you end up with should be nice, successful and treat you well. What that person should also do is get your blood racing.

The other guy got her blood racing. Her husband does not.

By Wow

February 19, 2008 11:34 AM | Link to this

@foot2azz….you should write a book because no one wants to hear that speech anymore the “burger flipper who worked his way up one”! The point I was trying to make is that don’t tell me to look were you wouldn’t! Women are always looking to invest in a good man but why is it that men will instruct you to look somewhere they wouldn’t! I am NOT saying that ALL men who work for burger joints are low life’s! And as for this……”Whatever happened to a woman recognizing the honesty in a hard working man’s eyes?” I recognized that honesty at first until I followed your eyes right down to my breast!

By melo

February 19, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

Whatever happened to a woman recognizing the honesty in a hard working man’s eyes? most grwon wmen dont want a man to grow with,to build smthing together with, they want the one with the bling already.That is why they miss all the good men around them. Truth reynolds waz off da chain..i stayed at the Ritz Carlton on friday nite and then went to look for homesites etc on saturday afternoon at the landing.Me and wify had a ball!! Thnx man and be sure to tell me smemore i dont know.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

I’m really enjoying the discussion today.

Good job, Bella!

By Rell

February 19, 2008 11:37 AM | Link to this

@ared

She cheated on him with a guy with similar credentials who made her weak in the knees.

again fellas attraction is not a choice…so you have to talk with the women and learn her attraction triggers..you have to re-focus her attraction on you…firing on those triggers…

@dm…word on the thug breakdown..that screams of a lil girl and not a women..pass on those types

By SlimOne

February 19, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

4Real You rubbing my CT is only going to make me more sleepy. I said I needed a pick me up, not a put me outter.

Guys Enjoying all the POV’s. will continue to lurk once i figure out how to get these toothpicks to keep my eye lids open

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 19, 2008 11:38 AM | Link to this

Dreams - I feel you on your post homie. But dude called in on V103 and it was not good… so dont take up for him. He sounded like a dam fool, but my point is we all have to deal w/ fools in life and she acted as if she’s better than most and doesn’t have to live life like the rest of folks. If she had bounced after 20min like anyone with a brain she would not have the crazy over the top story…

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 11:40 AM | Link to this

6’1 that wasn’t me posting. Little Truth is in here causing commotion.

Ared your friend got everyting she wanted and still it wasn’t enough? What are they talking about? Whats left to be said? I wonder how many times ol boy saw some chick that he wanted to knock off but thought better of it. Maybe that wasn’t the best example of how buttrflies can work to keep you together. LOL

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

Amazon thanks for that 11:34. ;-)

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

foot2azz But after I finish putting foot2azz in whatever restaurant the higher ups tell me to go,…

Hey man, ummm… there is a Mickey D’s right down here at 5-Points that needs you to fall in like the Goon Squad, ‘cause I’m ‘bout tired of the gas face when I ask for extra jelly. Dayum.

By Been Thru It All

February 19, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

@Wow I apoligize, I’m sorry for hurting you. It was never my intention to abuse you, mislead you or to cause you so much pain…Please forgive me… Sincerly every fuggin man in America…

By Sidelines...

February 19, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

GMorning Blog People….

Hey Demi, long time; good to read you!!!

Truth…Love is a full contact sport and its hard to play when you come in the game injured.….well said!

Back to Lurksville…

By Raqi

February 19, 2008 11:42 AM | Link to this

You all expect women to have their own place, drive their own nice or at least half decent car, make a grip of money all so that the fear that she may want something from you can be put to rest. But still you expect her to be stuck on you only pulling a minimum wage ‘cause you got ambition. Come on now. Hell if your ambition hasn’t materialized into something productive by the time you are 30 plus, it’s just an empty pipe dream.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 19, 2008 11:44 AM | Link to this

my2cent -Many of y’all mention drive as a key factor and I wonder if you’re generous in your assumptions w/ the fast food/retail worker. Look @ her and decide she must want a franchise & is learning from the bottom up… She’s not lookin for a free ride. Mmmhmm ~ Worth the “investment!” -I have no idea what you’re talkin about… did you read the post that Wow was addressing me on? If so you would 1st off see that she misread what was written… and the fast food comment???? Were you talkin to me?

Blow what up? I guess you must not hate what I wrote cuz I’m sure you would have gave me hell about it.

By pisces08

February 19, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

@kimmie. ^5!

By QueDogTeaching

February 19, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Whoa, wait a minute soro ARed That story makes you friend sound selfish on so many levels. She has a man at home who obviously loves her, is nice to her, treats her with respect, takes care of her, and forgives her. And she wants some one who makes her blood race? Tell her to go jog two miles if she needs to get her heart rate up. That sounds so juvenile and ghetto as all get out. That whole set up is sickening. Please don’t tell me you condone such actions?

And before all you women start the men do it all the time, STOP. That is not what I am talking about. Just AReds example.

By Dan

February 19, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

@Wow:

I think what Foot2Azz and I (and prolly a lot of brothers would say) is that my determination to better myself, personally/professionally is one of my better traits, and the woman that sees that in me, will be there with me whether or not my ambition comes to fruition.

And yes, we look for that in women too, ok, so you stripping, are you working towards something greatetr? These answers can only be discerned through conversation.

“Your determination will guide you destination, success is part inspiration and perspiration.” But if you want to judge me in the moment we meet in, fine. Fate has a way of dealing with things like that.

By Demi

February 19, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

I recognized that honesty at first until I followed your eyes right down to my breast!

I now know WoW has a nice set of D’s…thanks for sharing

By mqew

February 19, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

AmazonRed the blood racing may stem from a few factors… primarily/such as she is cheating. From what I’ve been told ;-) that in and of itself will produce butterflies.. My $10M

By 2CPTG

February 19, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

‘sup….

nah, Demi, Science wasn’t me…though it was a nice breakdown, I can’t take credit for it….

shyt I ain’t got no advice for y’all ladies…not off-hand, anyway….’cept I like what foot2azz told y’all;

By Dan

February 19, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

Still didn’t answer the point put to you? But nice diversion try!

By Rell

February 19, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

women should look for a quality man period….men should show that they are quality..fellas you have to display value to a women..period..there is not debating that….foot2azz….you need to upgrade you mind homie..stop looking for a female to save..you reading like one..

By QueDogTeaching

February 19, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

Slim What is I swung you around in circles by your hands with you feet flying out, and let you go? Would that wake you up? Oh yeah on top of a hill.

By Wow

February 19, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

900K aka Mr 2008….”beat to sleep” emotionally not physically…lol

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

Raqi co sign that 1142. “Hell if your ambition hasn’t materialized into something productive by the time you are 30 plus, it’s just an empty pipe dream.” Btw, the best way to sell a dream is to live it.

By SexyLeggs

February 19, 2008 11:52 AM | Link to this

mqew, that is so sweet.

A good example of some one w/butterfies that seemed to last forever is Ronald and Nancy Regan.

Gone one hour and you guys are posting like jack rabbits.

By kimmie

February 19, 2008 11:53 AM | Link to this

Ared - I get you, and others get you too. Sometimes people have a hard time wrapping their head around the butterfly concept. The older I get, I see just too many people in passionless relationships. They “settle” cause they don’t want to be alone, because EVERYONE is telling them so-and-so is nice, blah blah. Then these same folks end up cheating or taking out their frustration on the other person. As I said before, everyone deserves that wonderful feeling about their SO and have it reciprocated. And not to the point of insanity!

Ared, that post about your married friend was almost me!

By the truth

February 19, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

Wow, some moron has taken my name.

Anyway, 6’1 & luvin it, when do you graduate? You should really try to work on your English and writing skills.

Uppercase Truth, P** off! Get a new name.

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 11:54 AM | Link to this

Raqi You all expect women to have their own place, drive their own nice or at least half decent car, make a grip of money all so that the fear that she may want something from you can be put to rest. But still you expect her to be stuck on you only pulling a minimum wage ‘cause you got ambition.

Now where did that come from? I believe that your statement at least at this point is without basis. I don’t see where any dude listed “Have Paper” as one of his criteria.

By melo

February 19, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

DreamsMaterialize from the vibe i get listening to v-103, and from what the guy said this morning,i agree that the nina girl is way over herslef and thinks she is it.She is too loud herself,has very lofty ideals in what a man should do and be and at her age, is looking at hooking up a man who already has sme flow.She is confused by her sorroundings and the trappings of the show that any man would find it hard to date her.In any case those entertainment type girls would be okay with other entertainment dudes,not a the regular joe or truck driver.See hw elle dumped her kobi on landing a gig on ryn’s show. The women on the blog(sme) are just the same and are looking for a man with more than they themsleves have.

By Willie Dynamite

February 19, 2008 11:56 AM | Link to this

Hard to jump in this but here goes.

Rell again fellas attraction is not a choice…so you have to talk with the women and learn her attraction triggers..you have to re-focus her attraction on you…firing on those triggers Good info but come on Mayne. You giving out advanced level ish to dudes that haven’t figured out the Hello part yet.

Ladies Tell me when dating how much time is actually spent on getting what you want as compared to not getting got by what you don’t want?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

Raqi I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that in your 11:42 post you weren’t really lumping ALL men into the same bucket (or were you?) :-)

I’ve been divorced nearly 10 years now and have dated only three times over those years. In each instance I’ve made allowances for certain aspects of the woman’s life in deference to what her particular situation was at the time. Those “situations” ranged from children to finances to other issues, but in each case I never went into the relationship demanding that she have her ish completely together. Ambition is not an issue with me. I’ve been blessed enough already to last a lifetime. All that remains for me is someone to share those blessings with.

By SlimOne

February 19, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

Que That actually might work but I think i’ll opt for a little cat nap in my car for lunch. Catch me a Z or two.

By Raqi

February 19, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

Melo Grow together? Yeah when you are 19 years old. My first husband and I were in the growing together mode. We were making it happen together. He had nothing and I had nothing when we got married. But at 30 plus years, things should be more established with both sexes. Even if you are working an entry level job you should at least have yourself together. You should at least be making those minimum charge payments on your credit card. You should at least have insurance on your car, and not having to beat the check to the bank every month. An honest hard working man want settle for bologna and say “well I am trying”. He will go for the ground chuck life style aiming for the steak. And any good woman can and will recognize that in a good man.

Ha. Guys these days trying to reach over and cut a piece of the T-bone on the woman’s plate, because he can’t settle for nothing less in her.

By i'm swiss

February 19, 2008 11:59 AM | Link to this

“She settled for a guy who didn’t “light her fire.” She married him because he was nice, successful and treated her well.”

So… are we supposed to feel sorry for her? Does the fact that the hubby didn’t “light her fire” justify cheating?

How is it that when women are cheaters, it often seems to be attributed to “feelings” — as if the chic had no choice in the matter. I’m sorry but that’s some BS. I see women every day that I “feel” like getting freaky with — but I make the choice not to. IMO, it’s not her knees that went weak — it was her character.

Dang… that sounded bitter, didn’t it? LOL

By the truth

February 19, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

Wow, a blow up doll? I’d rather spooge in your face!

By DreamsMaterialize

February 19, 2008 12:00 PM | Link to this

900 My bad, I didn’t hear when ol boy called in. I just heard Nina B’s side. If he was wack then he was wack. lol

Raqi I feel you, but we should be careful about calling someone else’s life’s passion a pipe dream just because it hasn’t happened by 30. Now, if you have a family counting on you, then your dreams need to take a back seat to your family ‘cause kids didn’t ask to be here. But if you’re single, then I say pursue your dream to the fullest. I would say that 95% of all people never even figure out what their passion is, and only a few of the remaining 5% ever have the chance to pursue it. So, when I meet someone who says that they’ve known all their life what they wanted to do…that’s a BLESSING. And who am I to tell them to hang up that dream for a “stable” suit and tie job.

By SexyLeggs

February 19, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

…If she had bounced after 20min like anyone with a brain she would not have the crazy over the top story… EXACTLY! Why did she stay? She stayed to air her date out on the radio the next day and to put men in the ATL down! Sure wished I was listening when the guy called in.

Let us all stop looking for that man/woman with a good paying job and start looking for that man/woman who has a heart, who loves him/herself, who cares about people, who has motivation in their blood, the desire to do well in life and is continously walking, no running toward fulfilling their life dreams (as long as it’s not to be a serial killer). You got my point.

By Foots

February 19, 2008 12:02 PM | Link to this

For Real It sounds like your dating disconnects boil down to timing on the parts of both parties, somebody in the pair isn’t ready. And that happens a lot.

I say that two of the biggest things that are strictly off paper that will determine whether two folks get together are timing and chemistry. If everything else lines up, are you available for more (mentally, physically, emotionally) and is there a spark?

By Demi

February 19, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

Sidelines… Heeeey you, i hope things are good on your end.

2 my baad..

Ared she just needs to leave him, now that she knows she will never have those feeling for her husband…there is little chance she will remain faithful to her husband again…The love is fading.

The women on the blog(sme) are just the same and are looking for a man with more than they themsleves have.

And what is wrong with that?

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

melo not true! you take that back.

The women on the blog(sme) are just the same and are looking for a man with more than they themsleves have.

sometimes i don’t know whether to love you or hate yo a$$!

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 19, 2008 12:04 PM | Link to this

Raqi - BlueK beat me to it on his post. I have been sat down several times by my sister and other women tellin me that I may need to raise my standards in terms of what the chic I date does for a living. As a matter of fact I was recently laughed at for stating that I have a thing for those “make-up counter” girls @ Macy’s… I just see them showin all these other women how to look good and it turns me on. I used to talk to a girl like that she could get ready in 15min and every time I saw her she had somethin new & different going on… I felt like I was cheatin on her. It was great!!!

By Dan

February 19, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

While I haven’t been on long enough to claim vet status….

I don’t think that’s a problem for most the blog women melo. But I could be wrong, as it is a problem endimic to Atlanta.

I mean, there was a comment on here earlier about being “equally yoked”, but what the preacher won’t say is that both of y’all can be broke. “Equally yoked” as a concept in the bible, means equally yoked to God (in submission and committment). Don’t let the “prosperity” search lead y’all into…not heaven.

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

Little TRuth slow down cowboy. Having sex with men at the airport is starting to make you a little testy. Back up, change your name and try again.

Melo I’m glad that worked out for you. Did you make it out on the boat?

Kimmie most people in those passionless relationships once had the butterflies. You can have passion based on ones actions and history vs some feeling of newness. Otherwise your looking for an emotional high vs a good mate. My .02

By the truth

February 19, 2008 12:08 PM | Link to this

Upper case Truth, Speaking from experience? Maybe you should go with a name like Dirk Ramrod, or Puck Hardcheaks.

By melo

February 19, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

But at 30 plus years, things should be more established with both sexes true, but if both of u are still in struggling mode at 30,there is no reason u cannot invest in a guy with as much ambition and drive as urself, even tho he has been on hard times thus far, just like urself.A 34 yr old who has not mad a mark yet in lyfe can grow with a similar type dude and not expect to come up by investing in a man who has made it already.

By Wow

February 19, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

@DreamsMaterialize…..if you only knew…..thugs come in more the one package….such as my father……just as everyone else…….everyone that totes a pistol and sells dope is not uneducated and mean. Though sometimes violent to other hustlers on the block they can come home and treat you with respect…..how many people separate there job and what they do from who they are at home? Cops do it everyday. As for the Outkast statement that’s exactly what they were talking about….not taking one for ONLY face value! Big Boi has golds and I am sure people have looked down upon him at one point. With that being said lets get back to the point….good men where are they?

Oh and thank for the apology @ Been Thru It All…but I’m good baby!

@ Demi…leave my beautiful breast out of the convo! Lol

By Wow

February 19, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

@ melo i dont want what i cant give so i dont know what your over there talking about!

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

Raqi Grow together?

It sounded to me like you said that with contempt. I could be wrong, so I’m gon’ give you the benefit of the doubt because I doubt that you and your ol’ man are finished with the growing thing.

By Rell

February 19, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

@swiss…

see women every day that I “feel” like getting freaky with — but I make the choice not to. IMO, it’s not her knees that went weak — it was her character.<===cosign that

that is why fellas have to understand attraction and how it works with women…how you have to manage that when dealing with your women..and above all else qualify your women..remember fellas..a women is a freak to whom she chooses..and if you marry her with out knowing if that man can be you…then be prepared for the crash

@willi d…YEAH i know that is some advance level game..but it needs to be out there…but i see folks are missing it…lol

By mytwocents

February 19, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

900 Sorry, it was an effort to condense three semi-dependent thoughts on a single issue. 1.) I totally agree w/ u @10:17 re Mr. Corporate. 2.) I also think there’s merit to what WOW had already said @ 10:10 in response to Dan. She asks why women have to see the vision of where dude could be trying to climb up to, but men don’t seem to do the same? 3.) I then mused if those of you who constantly point to DRIVE as an imperative for your mate would be able to give the hourly worker/retail chick trying to be down w/ you the same kinda leeway and deal w/ her. B/c u think “well maybe this IS her passion – she must want to own a franchise or be the Regional Mgr. some day.” (As opposed to thinking she just got starry eyed cuz she saw ya Platinum AMEX when she rang u up, ur shiny car in the lot, or well tailored suit and is looking for a free ride.)

By melo

February 19, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

sometimes i don’t know whether to love you or hate yo a$$! i said some, so that disqualifies ur beautiful self. Truth,did not make it to the boat, but wil do next time around as we plan on making that place a regular famly destination!! Dan, i think bloq wmen are a microcosm of A wmnen,if u take our blog popn into account.These wmen are so hard but coz u talk to them everyday, u now soft on them.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

WillieD Ladies: Tell me when dating how much time is actually spent on getting what you want as compared to not getting got by what you don’t want? Dr PHil, could you break this down for the sisters that speak swahili?

Ms. U Hey chica! The boy child is looking more and more like his father…geesh…that man has serious genes!

Darell you gots jokes i see…oxi-you-better-watch-it!

Hey 2C…Science sure did read like you a bit…

900K sorry to here about the boyz…we spanked that @ Saturday 24-12!!!…the team and parents were so proud. It was a hell-of-a good game. stop calling me Gina lol.

Blue ROTFLOL @ bubble guts…dang!

By Foots

February 19, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

demi and melo *The women on the blog(sme) are just the same and are looking for a man with more than they themsleves have.

And what is wrong with that?*

I have to ask the same question. I’m actually not looking for someone with less than what I have. Material things come and go, and my houses could burn down tomorrow, but does that person have what I have on the inside? Has his internal drive been demonstrated on the outside? Is he actively reaching for his dreams and can show some progress towards that? Does he have a plan and a vision for his life and the lives of his future family?

Amazon and Truth You know what? There are plenty stories like that, where folks settle because all the check marks are met or because all their friends are getting married or because they graduated from college and marriage is the next logical step.

Yesterday, guys were talking about getting with the ugly girls because they had a good heart, but they know that they want an attractive woman also. Why do that to yourself? Just wait for the lovely girl with the good heart to come around. When you don’t have the things in place that are important to you, silly or not, you won’t be satisfied.

Even with the 80/20, if a man had 90% of what you are looking for, but didn’t believe in God, do you take marry if that was number 1 on the list of things you are looking for? Hellz no! That’s settling and you won’t be truly happy.

That’s key to what Truth was saying yesterday, be honest about what really matters to you and go with that. There are billions and billions of people on this Earth. Somebody has what you seek.

By Dan

February 19, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

How many people love what they do for a living?

How many people here have passions outside of work?

How many have had the guts to pursue what you love, but not for profit?

These are the questions of a lifetime, man. If we could all follow that one passion, have the bills paid and be happy, life would be ideal. But it’s not. Rent is due on the first of the month, so though I like writing, my homegirl wants to cheerlead professionally, a homeboy wants to rap, and one has a side business with photography….our passions are not our jobs.

But if any ladies are looking for man that doesn’t have a passion, or has chosen to follow that dream for the sake of reality, make that a red flag. Becuase though words for me are a passion, my knowledge, my skills don’t pay the bills.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 19, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this

Ladies - Since we’ve sorta touched on it already…

Which men should women run from instead of to…- Ok so I come from a part of town that aint all nice and friendly and I may put some work in out in the streets every blue moon, big deal. I am going to assume that most women on here are late 25+ early 30’s if you’re not then whatever. If you’re dealing with a man at this stage in life and HE labels HIMSELF a “Thug, Dope-boy, Gangsta” I really think you need to run from that. Now allow me to clarify… most men who come from the streets hate lables for one and the more dirt they do the less they will let on after knowing you for 6mo. or less. Any grown man out here callin himself a gangsta is soft as angel food cake and if you want to meet a dope boy then look for the man who has nice things and tells you that he has a landscaping business. Is there anything wrong with a woman datin a thug? Well not if she’s into that lifestyle herself, but there’s Definitely sumtin wrong with you datin a cornball who calls himself a thug. Also if you’re a corp amer chic pullin into the job parkin lot w/ a few lbs of his work and gunz in the car you may need to check yourself. I honestly think its time for my people to put the criminal mentality to rest, but if you gotta do it… Do it Right!

…Get in, Get Out, thats an OG classic!

By melo

February 19, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

benefit of the doubt because I doubt that you and your ol’ man are finished with the growing thing. cosign BK And what is wrong with that? its a numbers game so do the math,which guys are they going to meet more,the millionaire types or the regularq joe?

By kinderbabe

February 19, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

good afternoon all:)

hey cemeeli…sounds like willie d was saying, focusing on what you don’t want will get you exactly that…more of what you don’t want. focusing on what you do want will get you more of what you do want.

By Sidelines...

February 19, 2008 12:41 PM | Link to this

Demi, everything is wonderful thanks for asking…said, while sitting here in lurksville and cracking up laughin…, I didn’t realize how much I actually missed reading you guys!

By Wow

February 19, 2008 12:42 PM | Link to this

@ 900K aka Mr 2008 Ladies - Since we’ve sorta touched on it already…Which men should women run from instead of to

gay ones!!!!!lmao

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 19, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

What to run from - If he has kids that he has not seen in years then its time to start the sprint. I know that He’ll lie about it or keep it from you, but as soon as you find out that homie is not doing what he needs to do then leave.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

Demi pass me some of that gummy candy.

900K on the Thug/Gangsta trip…droppin’…droppin… droppin. If that post 12:30 wasn’t enough said then WHO?

By Foot2Azz

February 19, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

One thing I do wonder, and it definitely confuses me is: Why is it I can recognize a sorry azz dude within five minutes, but it takes a woman five years to do the same? Help me out with this somebody … is it just me?

By melo

February 19, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

Foots i;m with u.The problem is most dont look beyond the car he is driving.He drives up to the lot with this crackling hoopdy and he is out.What do u ladies do when a guy holla at u…u look down to his feet to see what hes rocking.That visual is what defines the dating game..the material side.What u descibe is the ideal becoz u cant see what drives or motivates a man or what dreams they have unless u start talking to them.But they never get that chance.

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 12:50 PM | Link to this

clayton county wth!

By Foots

February 19, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

melo its a numbers game so do the math,which guys are they going to meet more,the millionaire types or the regularq joe?

Let’s leave the millionaire types out, because most women aren’t looking for that.

Let’s say I’m a Regular Jane, but I have made the most of the opportunties that were presented to me. I did the hard work to get where I am. I could be farther along, sure, but that will come in time according to the vision I have for my life right now. Is it too much to ask that my future head of household and leader of my family be at least where I am? He doesn’t have to be winning Super Bowls yet, but is he playing the game and does he know the rules?

People come here all the time from other countries where they have less opportunities available to them, get their degrees, get great jobs or open their own businesses, and live the “American Dream” and we still have the gall to accept that folks born here, in the lap of opportunity, can’t do anything to advance themselves and so we should be okay with that??

Point blank: If I can do it as a woman, he can do it too, as a man.

Rell You are on point with “attraction”. It IS important, no matter how many dudes say it’s not (when it’s presented as “butterflies”). Other things matter too, and no one said that they didn’t, but that physical/chemical bond can’t be overlooked in a good relationship. It can pull you through periods where do love em but you can’t stand em…all you can think about is kissing them at that very moment.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 12:53 PM | Link to this

kinderbabe ‘preciate the brkdwn of what Willie was saying. now relaxing the eye brow. ;)

WillieD okay…i’m still processing…but for the most part it is healthier to not focus on the ‘don’t want’ SO HARD!

By E

February 19, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this

I rarely post but here is my two cents

Mingling: * Ladies please, please, please leave the unattractive/bad attitude having/cck blocking friend AT HOME !!!!** Why do y’all bring her???

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 19, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this

What else to run from - Wow you’re skippin ahead stay with the class!

If he has naked pics of himself or ANY man then take the exit. If he wears make up of any kind, tries on your underwear even if you dared him or refers to other men as handsome on a reg start the marathon! If he starts cryin easily and often then start joggin…

By mytwocents

February 19, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

Butterflies/Attraction can be created outside of physical appearance IF you take notes & figure out how to stimulate each other mentally. And IMO, it’s much more powerful. That’s how you really get em FCuKed. They’ll look at you and see you, but feel just how they always thought Halle/LL would make em feel.

You MUST have a passion in life. The only one I seriously cannot help ignite is the 30 yr old aspiring rapper… please, just— just STOP! :)

By E

February 19, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

I rarely post but here is my two cents

Mingling: * Ladies please, please, please leave the unattractive/bad attitude having/cck blocking friend AT HOME !!!!** Why do y’all bring her???

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

Foots Point blank: If I can do it as a woman, he can do it too, as a man.

While I congratulate you on your achievements AND withhold passes for the trifling, that statement of yours ^^^ is partially flawed… but that’s a whole different convo.

…but that physical/chemical bond can’t be overlooked in a good relationship.

And I’m wit’chu all day on this ^^^

By Science

February 19, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

Not to keep popping in but…

There are two distinct discussions going on at one time, both involving the same thing.

The human chemicals that promote the “fight or flight” choice, also informs our decision making, romantically. “Does she/he have what I have” can be paraphrased to mean “can this person provide for a family?” “Here is a list of what I don’t want” can be paraphrased to mean “I don’t want to be hurt”. Both of these statements indicate a feeling of both fight and flight in that they are both responses to outside stimuli.

The happiest people are those that don’t not ignore that fight or flight response, but follow it where it leads to ask the proper questions.

—Science returning to work, nite all

By Raqi

February 19, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

Darrell – No I am not generalizing. It is just that the ones that talk the most shyt usually don’t have shyt and ain’t trying to get shyt. LOL

BlueK – I prefer to say we are living together. Given the opportunity and knowing what I know now, he definitely is a man that I would have jumped at the chance to grow with in my younger days. But now we are living. And yes we are “building” things.

melo - Just because you are a regular joe don’t mean you can’t come up in life. No need for a mini-mansion but hell, move your behind out of the projects.

And it’s not about wearing a suit and tie. My friend Marissa’s husband is an electrician and he is about his. They didn’t skip a beat during her time of not being able to work. Heck the guys that dump our trash in my neighborhood makes $15-16.00 dollars an hour. That’s a whole lot better than $5.85 “may I take your order”.

Dan sometimes you got to chuck that dream up to being a hobby and get out there and do what you got to do.

By Foots

February 19, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

melo I get what you’re saying. Let’s tie that into what Foot2Azz just said: Why is it I can recognize a sorry azz dude within five minutes, but it takes a woman five years to do the same?

This is what women have to balance. Are you really a sorry dude, or are you just working towards your goals slowly?

From my point of view, you get around that by asking what a person’s end goals are, and what steps they feel they need to take to get there. I look at it like using a map to get from Point A to Point B. I can only plan my route once I know where I’m going. And once I know where I’m going, you’ll know I’m serious about getting there when you see that I have a route ready. And if I’m REALLY serious, I’m no longer at the beginning of my route, but I’m already on the road, you’ve met me somewhere in between Point A and Point B, and I can tell you about some of my prior stops.

So Foot2Azz, it takes some women longer to see because she never checks for milestones in his progress.

By mqew

February 19, 2008 1:05 PM | Link to this

E you just said why :)

By SexyLeggs

February 19, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this

…Why is it I can recognize a sorry azz dude within five minutes, but it takes a woman five years to do the same? Easy, the woman who took 5 years has been trying to “change” his sorry a$$ into something she wants. The “butterflies” she feels and the color-coded glasses she’s been wearing prevents her from seeing what it took you only 5 mins. to realize.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 1:06 PM | Link to this

DasV uhm…hello…

By Rell

February 19, 2008 1:07 PM | Link to this

fellas when you step to a women always display value…always, there will be no question in her mind she needs to invest more in you….if you step to a women and she gives you a crazy look then that means you came like the rest of the thirsty dudes…if you step to a women and you cant pass her your business card with a time to call you then you need to step…i mean if she is going to fight you on some free info or power struggle on who calls you…then you know this is not the one for you…..feel me..stop worrying about what the avg chick is sending your way…if you not stepping display value and confidence then you LOSE !!!

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 1:07 PM | Link to this

900K You are stating the obvious….lol!

QUESTION TO BLOG BROTHAS: What is it a women needs to KNOW EVERYTHING about keeping and getting a good dude. Emotionally, sexually, mentally?

By Dan

February 19, 2008 1:09 PM | Link to this

@Raqi

That’s just it, you never give up on your dream. You: a) don’t turn it into a job (ruining it); and b) you don’t forsake what makes you happy, regardless of the outcome..

By M.C. 401K

February 19, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

mytwocents - I aint ever gon give up my dream, of havin big things and holdin dat cream… knowhatImean! you dats my word I’m the illest MC since KoolMoeDee these newjacks aint got nuttin on me. 2cent just a hater / instigater sittin @ home mad cuz I wouldn’t date her.

By Wow

February 19, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

@ 900K aka Mr 2008 “Wow you’re skippin ahead stay with the class…. If he has naked pics of himself” come on you just emailed me one of you!!!!!!lmao lol lol

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this

MINOR BLOG JACK: Ok ladies lets put it another way. 1) What is it that you see in women that have what you want that maybe you can brush up on? 2) What do you have to offer that would make a man wanna be with you? Whats the hook gonna be? Are you a good person, great mate, what is it?Please don’t say dd’s because there’s a chick sporting g’s or h’s. However if you feel thats your strongest suit then I am here to verify for the mlb what your wearing. LOL

Nows your chance to tell blogsville what your working with over there.

The guys have told you what they want, now let us know what you have.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 1:13 PM | Link to this

most grwon wmen dont want a man to grow with,to build smthing together with, they want the one with the bling already.

That’s bullshyt. That’s for chickenheads for real. I’m glad you’re off the market with that attitude!

Truth - My friend didn’t have everything she wanted. She wanted the butterflies. She didn’t have em. She also got married “relatively” young. 25, she should have waited a while longer and lived a little. She decided she wanted to study law in DC, so she moved to DC for a semester. Left her husband 3000 miles away, waiting for her. She needs to live a little.

QueDog - No I don’t condone what she did. Where did you get that idea from? But yes, what she did is selfish.

By Foots

February 19, 2008 1:14 PM | Link to this

Blue LOL!! Start the convo, I like to hear you.

Science You hit it dead on: “Does she/he have what I have” can be paraphrased to mean “can this person provide for a family?”

That’s a great breakdown that gets at the heart of the matter. Which basically is: Have you demonstrated that you can take care of and provide for yourself FIRST?

Don’t go back to work, you need to stay…LOL!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

“Darrell – No I am not generalizing. It is just that the ones that talk the most shyt usually don’t have shyt and ain’t trying to get shyt. LOL”

Wow, Raqi. That sure is a lotta shyt. LOL!

By Dan

February 19, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this

@Blow me

Yes

And no.

Women need to know it because competition is intense these days. But you don’t have to learn anything, just keep wishing upon a star….

Men need to know it, and we do. We try to learn with every successive relationship, what worked what didn’t, was it my fault, was it hers? (Key being that we actually think about our responsibility in that relationship).

So yes, take classes, becuase you can be fine, educated, and have 100s of other admirable qualities, but if you can’t keep a man…..it ain’t the men.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 1:18 PM | Link to this

mqew how’s that lil guy?

Demi/Blow ‘Taste of Florida’ spot was north FL flavor…but still good. I mentioned to (surprised me that the owner was takin’ my order) owner of a spot in Pampano Beach and he knew i was not playin’ Lol…i did get the hook up ;).

By Tazzee

February 19, 2008 1:20 PM | Link to this

afternoon folks!

I can’t even attempt to read the comments, but in honor of 2CPTG,

HOW IN THE HECK IS A MAN GOING TO GIVE A WOMAN ADVICE. I WANT TO GET MY ADVICE FROM A WOMAN THAT’S SUCCESSFUL IN HER RELATIONSHIP - CAN’T NO MAN TELL A WOMAN HOW TO BE A WOMAN!!!

LOL - seriously, the few comments I’ve read from the fellas are good. Especially the one about confronting the entire past and not confronting the current guy while doing it. I’ll have to read the rest of this after hours.

By Dan

February 19, 2008 1:21 PM | Link to this

@Ared

I hate to disagree with you but it’s not.

That sentiment is known by every man that has ever: played a sport (professionally or not), had money, or some level of fame. There are babaes that will come at you from out of nowhere. Be in the hotel room when you get there ready and waiting.

That you may not know this speaks highly of you and the company you keep, but just because you haven’t seen a million dollars….

By Foots

February 19, 2008 1:22 PM | Link to this

900K If he has naked pics of himself…

LOL!! One time, I was talking to this guy on IM once (my friend hooked us up) and I asked him for a picture; we were also on the phone at the same time. He sent me one through picture share and immediately, the convo went like this:

Wang Dude: “Oh No, Oh NO!!”

Foots: (watching this picture of his wang come up on screen and realizing that yes, this is definitely a wang…) “What’s wrong?”

Frantic Wang Dude: “Do you see a picture????”

Foots: “No. Why?”

Relieved Wang Dude: “Whew! I thought I sent you the wrong picture!”

Foots makes up an excuse to get off the phone and starts training for the marathon

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 1:25 PM | Link to this

For Real no you DIDN’T just give me a peck on the lips with that bird flu in your system. Don’t get cut! I just got OVER the bird flu!!!

By mytwocents

February 19, 2008 1:25 PM | Link to this

M.C. I LUV IT!!!! Please lemme download! lolololol

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 1:26 PM | Link to this

Little truth, I hate to be the one that you pick on in this here blog. Youmust really believe the bigger they are the harder they fall. I am not one to throw up degrees and such but hey I have a bachelors in english so go figure, I am in my lurking mode here and multitasking to say the least so while I cannot focus directly on the typos that I may have made during my recent post here, Cut a girl some slack. Dayuuuum!

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 19, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

Blow -You’d be surprised that there are many who need to the obvious pointed out to them.

Wow -Sorry bay, I just got caught in the moment. But be honest I would not have GTD without sendin that to you.

what extra instructions would you give women on dating a quality man? - Dont be so quick to judge, we may have similar qualities of some of the boneheads you’ve dated, but give us a chance to show you more. Men are about action so if you never give homie a chance to show you what he’s about rather than talk about it you could be missin out.

By Foots

February 19, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

Truth That’s a setup, man!! You know that the second the women start talking about how great they are, For Real is going to come in with a pin busting everybody’s balloon, talking about we can’t set our own value and that we have to wait for a dude to tell us what our value is. LOL!!

LMAO @ Tazzee!!

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

Going back and reading posts I missed over lunch: Truth - that WASN’T an example of butterflies keeping them together. Butterflies don’t exist with her husband, that is why she strayed.

By SexyLeggs

February 19, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

Wait a minute…The guys have told you what they want, now let us know what you have. So, they told us what they want, they haven’t told us what they have as you are now asking us to reveal? Why can’t we tell them what we want as well?

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 1:29 PM | Link to this

Foots lmao. i’ve had the same situation, and yes i lied too. men are perverts (melo, i said some). lol.

By Rell

February 19, 2008 1:30 PM | Link to this

@science..cosign your post

@foots…that is what i mean by displaying value..hell just appealing to the five senses shoots off those chemicals to suspend the womens tipping point for the men to work that “game”…lol…really fellas it is a science at work here…

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

Dan - So those “waiting” women don’t sound like chickenheads to you? You’d consider those women respectable?

Speak to your audience. Save for a few, women of that caliber aren’t posting on here right now.

As for me, I turn down a lot of men 10 years my senior BECAUSE they are at a vastly different stage than I. We can’t grow and accomplish together, because they’ve already made that mark. I want to look back on our days of eating beans and rice TOGETHER. LOL

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

Blow QUESTION TO BLOG BROTHAS: What is it a women needs to KNOW EVERYTHING about keeping and getting a good dude. Emotionally, sexually, mentally?

I know you ain’t serious with this? Start with post #1 and read down - too many jewels to cite.

And nobody spoke on it, but I’m sure e’ry dude saw it… that comment about “…and she don’t go downtown. Mayne pleez! That’s a helluva place to start right there. And since I cain’t stand a tooth scrape on the johnson, I ain’t even that big on the f******, but you betta dayum sho be willin’ to give it a shot! End of lesson #1.

Naah Foots, this ain’t the forum for that type of discussion. But we can speak on other subject areas if you like.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 1:37 PM | Link to this

ROTFLOL…but can agree with Tazzee. The guys are sharing good points.

hmmph…this blog sometimes wheewee…glad to be one of the ones that is jovial daily. Otherwise i’d be found sitting somewhere counting leaves if i had to keep up with all the these dating Do’s and Dont’s.

Where is Mo with a drink when you need it?

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this

Ared ok. Then its cool if a dude gets with you and after a few years realizes that he may need to “live” some more becuase he’s not feeling butterflies? How long will those butterflies with the new guy last if ol boy leaves her? This reminds me about the joke where the punch line is women really don’t know what they want. She’ll go get butterflies and that cats gonna wupp her azz or just not give a dam about her. In the end tho its all about choices. I just prefer not to base mine on something that may be indigestion.

By For Real

February 19, 2008 1:40 PM | Link to this

Blow You can know all the proper things to keep a man or women but it is that person that must value you. Like ARed’s friend. Bottom line, she doesn’t value him. Like I said yesterday, you don’t get to tell me how valuable you are to me.

Sexyleggs Easy, the woman who took 5 years has been trying to “change” his sorry a$$ into something she wants. The “butterflies” she feels and the color-coded glasses she’s been wearing prevents her from seeing what it took you only 5 mins. to realize.

That’s another excuse that women use to deflect their responsibility for their choice. If he is sorry then she is too. Accountability

Foots I feel you on what you are saying. I meet women all time ready to do things that I have already done. I’m planning for the way I want live when I retire. How would that match up with a chick that still have goals she is trying to meet? So, I agree match me or leave me alone.

Butterflies SMH - That’s why logical thinking is so important to me. Ladies it just seems that you all want to be slaves to your emotions. Thus, relieving you of any accountability. I hear women on here actually defending Chasing a Feeling!

By Dan

February 19, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

@ARed

That’s just it, I’ve seen some of those women, in school and after, and they deny the whole join.

But don’t get it twisted, every woman on here (and the men too) have a skeleton or bodies, in their closets, don’t front.

By Wow

February 19, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

@ 900K aka Mr 2008 Wow -Sorry bay, I just got caught in the moment. But be honest I would not have GTD without sendin that to you…… Your sooooooo right how did you know! lol lmao

By M.C. 401K

February 19, 2008 1:43 PM | Link to this

Yeah my flow is da bomb …Downloads avail @ thisis50.com

…and the chicken taste like wood hUUUHHHH!

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 1:46 PM | Link to this

Truth - I’m of the old school. Once we take those vows, we’re stuck together. If my man wanted to “live” some more, TOUGH! LOL. Same for her, she made her bed and now she must lie in it. Her hubby has forgiven her and they are working past it. She doesn’t get to leave, IMO.

For Real - You hit the nail on the head. She doesn’t value him. And I think she tests him on purpose.

By mqew

February 19, 2008 1:47 PM | Link to this

Ceemee he’s good! He’s at the age when he’s doing somethin he knows he shouldn’t he looks at me cocks his head to the side and say “Ma Ma”. Toooo much!

AmazonRed I just wanted to add, in re to your friends situation, butterflies can be developed. BUT, she has to be in love with him. If not, then perhaps the seperation will help. I didn’t want to go here but honestly, marriage is spiritual warfare. So if they’re not willing to fight…. It’s someones personal duty to kill, and destroy. (Especially a potentially fire azz minority couple.)

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this

For Real I gotta nominate this for post of the year. “Butterflies SMH - That’s why logical thinking is so important to me. Ladies it just seems that you all want to be slaves to your emotions. Thus, relieving you of any accountability. I hear women on here actually defending Chasing a Feeling!”

To add on if I may they then condemn men for wanting to chase a feeling, a nut. LOL Who’d of thunk it??????

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 1:48 PM | Link to this

Oh and about the butterflies thing… Folks deserve to be in a relationship that has passion. Marriage should be more than a business decision. It should be more than he has common sense and is a good provider.

Now, you shouldn’t let go of logical thinking to get it, but you shouldn’t have to settle for a passionless relationship.

By QC - POV

February 19, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

Why run to or from a Man? If you’re not interested in him…be a real woman and just let him know…if you are interested once again…step up to the plate and let him know Geesh, that’s what i do…when i approach a Man; once we get to know each other & i feel comfortable with him; i ask him out & offer to pay for the date…and ain’t nothing wrong with that either…what’s Darrell, i took your advice & i feel better Have a great day bloggers!

By For Real

February 19, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

Hold on Foots, I never said a woman can’t set her own value. I said she can’t set my value for her. Again, you may believe that you are Billion Dollars and that’s fine with me but I may believe your value is only $4 and there is nothing you can do about it.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this

Dan - I disagree with you on the skelton part. I think folks tell themselves that to justify their own shady behavior.

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

mqew I didn’t want to go here but honestly, marriage is spiritual warfare. So if they’re not willing to fight…. It’s someones personal duty to kill, and destroy. (Especially a potentially fire azz minority couple.)

I’m gon’ need an airtank for this one. That was deep.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

WTH?…QC guurrlll do your thang!

Super Truth - Ladies it just seems that you all want to be slaves to your emotions……”not all women” babe, all that is unecessary…I can not give a dude THAT much space in my thoughts, emotions or spirit.

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this

FOR REAL * Question…If I dip a crisp $100 bill in a pile of $hit….is the value still the same? If I tear one rip down the middle is it still worth a $100 bucks….If I ball it up is it still worth a $100? I did not and can not determine the value..it was already valuable before I got it. It is on me whether or not that I can see the value of it. So if I throw away…a crisp $100 bill…if I was a dumb idiot not to realize I gave something so valuable..and someone else sees the value…and come to swipe it up….WHO IS REALLY THE BIGGER FOOL?* Fall back homie dont’ get me started!

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this

butterflies can’t be controlled after meeting someone who stimulates your mind, body and soul. you guys are talking like we have a choice on whether to have butterflies or not. can you control your erections? no, i don’t think you can. when you’re happy, you’re happy damnnit!

By SexyLeggs

February 19, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

I disagree. There’s nothing wrong w/having butterflies. It’s an emotion. You men have it too, just won’t admit to it. You guys get that “ga ga” feeling as well. Now, to completely eliminate logic and act solely on the “butterfly” aspect is just a dumb thing to do. I am first and foremost agreeing w/one should have accountability for their actions. Most women do, but for those women w/color-coded glasses on accountability is just a word.

ForReal, the women on here are defending the feeling their man gives them mentally, emotionally and physically!

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

Two weeks ago they laid off a lot of people here at my company. I had to go on one of my co-workers computers to email some of the workload to myself. To make a long story short they had a screen saver of Usher in some boxer briefs posing. What would you think of that?

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

QC Geesh, that’s what i do…when i approach a Man; once we get to know each other & i feel comfortable with him; i ask him out & offer to pay for the date…and ain’t nothing wrong with that either…

See I knew you was a for-real stand-up type of chick. :-)

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

Ared I think your mistaking butterflies and the lack of as opposite ends of the spectrum. Those butterflies you speak of are replaced with the knowledge that what your coming home to is what you REALLY want in a partner. Its not butterflies but a calm that consumes you. When you’ve met someone like that they can’t be judged agianst another person, they are the standard. Maybe they should just say goodbye because there’s no worse pain than being someones second best.

MQEW that was my thought, that she didn’t love the dude. I just hope they don’t have kids.

Foots your trying to wiggle out of providing the info. LOL For Real’s not going to bust your bubble. I simply wanted to see what the women of blogsville really thought of themselves. Alot of chicks want a man with dreams but when you ask them about their’s they go quiet for the first time in their life. They wind up saying “whatever your dream is.” LOL

BK I wanted to update you on Rosetta Stone if your still interested. I’m getting into the 2nd chapter and its getting harder. My vocabulary is growing like weeds but now I have to start putting it all together and getting the convo together. I know I’ll get better but sometimes its a little discouraging. Right now I know just enough to get put in a mexican jail with no telephone. LOL

By Raqi

February 19, 2008 2:07 PM | Link to this

ForReal I agree with you on the value issue. How I see myself or think myself to be may mean absolutely nothing to some one else. Now that does not mean one should not remain poised and confident. It just means every man out there ain’t looking for a “Raqi”.

I think I said it on here once before, my husband said one day, “every woman that thinks she is all that isn’t always that great of a catch.” He was speaking from him own experiences.

By Alvin

February 19, 2008 2:10 PM | Link to this

For Real LOL@your post to Foots…I am sorry dude, but I can’t love brothers who don’t have any get up and go about themshelves…Rell, you are right. Too many cats are walking around with nothing going for themshelves…As a deaf cat, I really do not understand how or why most dudes have the problems they’re having in the dating world…Me, I am having a blast dating right now…even thought I’ve been rejected because of bad timing, LOL

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 19, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

Well I’ll be dayumed it on and poppin in here today!! I cant even begin to catch up(need For Real to just give me a light recap).

Blow QUESTION TO BLOG BROTHAS: What is it a women needs to KNOW EVERYTHING about keeping and getting a good dude. Emotionally, sexually, mentally? I know you posed this to the dudes on here, but I have a lil tid bit to add. Having been married, pay attention to your man/woman. I know that sounds easy and like it should just happen, but too many folks are walking around here saying they didnt know their significant wanted this or that. For instance if your man wants a BJ when ya’ll are dating, it wont change when/if you get married. One of the ways to please a significant is to know them and act on it. Trust me a lot of people say they know this but dont. You cant do a strip tease for your man if that’s not his thing just b/c you want to. Also know what you are capable of giving, no false promises.

Cemeeli Girl I need a drink to, is DreamsMaterialize in here today?

Hello to everyone else in Blogsville!

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

Beautiful you guys are talking like we have a choice on whether to have butterflies or not. can you control your erections? no, i don’t think you can. when you’re happy, you’re happy damnnit!

Whatever the case, from time to time, I’m gon’ ask you a question because I just want to see if you can defend your position and to see if you actually believe what you posted. Regardless of what my opinion of your post is, if you don’t believe it, then you’re just talkin’ out’cha neck. So don’t take it personal. Feel me?

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

Truth - That calm feeling isn’t butterflies, it’s peace. It’s satisfaction. Two totally separate emotions to me. And you can have both, one or neither.

As for my friend, I don’t judge because I’ve only heard her side and her perspective. She didn’t even want to fess up to cheating at first. And though she sings the praises of her husband, I don’t know if there is more a beyond the surface. He and I used to be friendly now I avoid him like the plague. If he were to ever press me for info, I might crack. She treated him so wrong, but I saw those signs before the vows. He had to as well.

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

6’1 do you work at Home Depot Hq’s? If it was a dude he was punk.

Beautiful So you would base a major life decision on what may be gas? I’m messing with you woman but the feeling is only a part of it.

similac I didn’t post that but was giving a major co-sign.

QC I’ll be ready at 8 sharp wearing my favorite 3 button suit, some clean azz Cole Haans and a rose in hand. LOL Oh, and I’ll be wearing some come fugg me cologne.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this

mqew - Like I said, she loves him. It’s that familiar love though. They’ve known each other for 15 years. It’s that love you feel for a good friend. I think there is also romantic love, just not that fire like passion.

For those who watched Sex and the City…it was kinda like Carrie and Aidan.

By For Real

February 19, 2008 2:19 PM | Link to this

ARed On your point, if she would have used logic she would have known that passion never existed between them. Oh and no one deserves anything. This world nor any of it people don’t owe a thing. You deserve what you earn.

By Alvin

February 19, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

You men have it too, just won’t admit to it. You guys get that “ga ga” feeling as well.

Yep, it goes something like this:

“Mayne, that girl got that WOW factor going on. At first I just wanted to hit-it, but after a few convos…Imma chill and see what she’s about.”

Well, this is what happens to me anyway.

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 2:23 PM | Link to this

BK butterflies is simple, a happy feeling. why is that so bad? the bad side is showing the person how ga ga you are over them like you’re in hs. it’s a good feeling and someone doesn’t need to break it down for us, science. let’s keep it simple.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 2:24 PM | Link to this

mqew ..sooo sweet…hold on to all those moments.

Mo Dreams is mia right now. What’s up thou? yea…i’m almost gathering some leaves to count if you don’t help a sis…alot going on in blogworld today.

By Page1908

February 19, 2008 2:25 PM | Link to this

Truth LOL you are learning Spanish using Rosetta Stone? lol that’s cute. Luckily for me, I am bilingual. Let me know when you learn more than just the cuss words lol.

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 2:26 PM | Link to this

6’1 Two weeks ago they laid off a lot of people here at my company. I had to go on one of my co-workers computers to email some of the workload to myself. To make a long story short they had a screen saver of Usher in some boxer briefs posing. What would you think of that?

What I’m really thinking about that is all them females makin’ 70 grand/yr that are off the market to me now, ‘cause they ain’t gon’ be gettin’ that paper like they used to. I cain’t be dealin’ wit’ no broke broads.

That sounded fugged up didn’t it? See?!

Truth Mayne, you’ve gotta make up an excuse to go hire you some essays. That’s what I’m gon’ do. I figure that I could get some practical practice and some work done right, at the same time.

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this

Truth: Yes & Yes!!!

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this

Ared now we’re getting to the meat and potatoes. She mistreated him from the beginning and he went for it. As someone said she doesn’t see value in him. It will all work out in the end tho, it always does. Coming up from childhood like they did kind of buffers them from the real world. Maybe its time for both of them to spread their wings. Also, if i had to bank on a feeling it would be calmness and not butterflies. I could get that from cheating. LOL

By Rell

February 19, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this

In the past, I used to fall for ultimatums. But I’d since learned that ultimatums are expressions of powerlessness, empty threats designed to try to influence a situation someone has no control over.

something i read today….wow

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

For Real - We’ll agree to disagree on your 2:19.

By SeanJohnson3000

February 19, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

@Blog Females

as usual the blog males are dropping tips and jewels and some of yall are being hard headed and not taking notes…yall need to learn the art of listening…

By mqew

February 19, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

ARed Not Carrie and Aidan! So, does she think she found her Mr. Big? So, I’m not sure if that means she was trying to see some of Sex in the City in her life. Hope not. My SO would call that show, Three dumb azz bytches and a h()3. Heeehhhee. But fa real. Is she doing “better” now that she’s away?

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

FOR REAL CHECK OUT 2:00PM LMAO!

By Foot2Azz

February 19, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

I think women should stop basing their idea of love, intimacy, sex, and overall relationships on shows like Sex in the City. Girl you know damn well your life ain’t that glamorous.

If you tryin’ to buy some shoes because of your shoe addiction, then at the end of the month your checking account got one of these beside it (-)… then you need to reevalutate your situation and get your mind right cause that ain’t what’s up.

By Wow

February 19, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this

@ All the movie buffs…. “My problem is I can’t find a man that can satisfy me, some guys go an hour, hour and a half, that’s it! A mans got to put in over time for me to get off.”

This sums up the issue….lol lmao

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this

Mo Having been married, pay attention to your man/woman.

Where do I sign?

By For Real

February 19, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this

Blow You KEEP missing point to what I said. Money only have value because other people gave it its value. Try trading that $100 to a European and watch how dumb and idiotic you look.

Okay let me put it this way if you die tomorrow the only people that will be concerned or hurt are the ones that placed value on your life. All your death would mean to me is one less person in the line at Walmart. Why because you have no value to me.

By Dan

February 19, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

@6’1 I have a couple of friends that work at Home Depot HQ. In what dept.?

@ARed

Don’t even say that. The chick on that show was clueless and proud of her unaccountability! She slept with Big after saying yes to an engagement with Aidan. Now how is that any different from a guy sleeping with the hot chick at work (that he used to bone) becuase he’s nervous about his impending wedding.

What? That show was written by gay men, the ultimate in nonaccountability and narcissim. Stop it!

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 2:35 PM | Link to this

Page now i’m jealous. LOL One day I’ll come on here and we’ll rap in espanol. I think when I finish spanish I’ll go for another language. Maybe german or french.

BK I was gonna try that but I always feel like their calling me names in spanish. LOL Plus its getting harder to find good workers.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 19, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

SJ3000 The ladies are listening, dont lump us all together!

Cemeeli whatcha drinkin chica, I got us! LOL

Hey Page1908

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

mqew - The affair was over a year ago. She’s also back from DC. She didn’t want to take the leap of faith with the other dude, she learned she had a good thing at home and has chosen to make it work with the hubby. I don’t know if there is passion present, but at least she’s appreciating what she has more.

Truth - I take the “so wrong” part back (until she cheated). I wouldn’t say she mistreated him beforehand, but she definitely took him for granted.

By QC - waiting on 5ive

February 19, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

BK What’s up Baby!!

Truth LMAO…..i’ll be ready!

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

Truth I’ll be ready at 8 sharp wearing my favorite 3 button suit, some clean azz Cole Haans and a rose in hand. LOL Oh, and I’ll be wearing some come fugg me cologne.

Ol’ girl raised your eyebrow too ha?

Demi “Mayne, that girl got that WOW factor going on. At first I just wanted to hit-it, but after a few convos…Imma chill and see what she’s about.”

Yeap, the right chick will blow yo ish right out the water. …but I’ma play it cool, maintain, and not let her know it too early on; see whassup with slim.

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

Blue Kolla, how about the coworker was a dude and i was one of the people that they let go, but guess what they called me back. Ain’t that some shyt. I ain’t complaining, I have a habit to support and children to boot. I was just like “Preciate cha”

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this

Truthbaby if you have a good head on your shoulders, you won’t let the butterflies make your life decisions. when i met john, the butterflies i had were so strong that i wanted to call him every 5 mins. but instead, throughout the 18 months we dated, i can count on my hands how many times i called him. i let him come to me which worked out for the both of us. and with still having butterflies after 18 months, i let him go because he wasn’t ready for commitment. so, no i don’t let butterflies make my major decisions in life. if i did i would still be with john waiting on him to make THE MOVE.

By For Real

February 19, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

Thanks Raqi you understand what I’m saying. I’m not trying to take anything away from anybody but I get to choice was is and isn’t in my life.

Beautiful you guys are talking like we have a choice on whether to have butterflies or not. can you control your erections? no

See you do want to be a slave to your emotions. YES YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS!!! You have done so on numerous occasion. ex: I’m not going to cry, I’m not going to let them see me sweat, I’m not going to let her ruin my day. Men control their emotions all the time why can’t you? For Real now controlling himself from scooping Beautiful.

By Willie Dynamite

February 19, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

3000 as usual the blog males are dropping tips and jewels and some of yall are being hard headed and not taking notes…yall need to learn the art of listening I been waiting and waiting for someone to say it. The blog topic of the day is what? However when we as Men do tell them whats on our mind we get crickets or attacked. The Men get advice every day all day on this blog. Women need to learn how to listen. That doesn’t mean take everything at face value but pick a little bit of wisdom here and choose a little bit their. Learn to fall back and you just may learn something in the process.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

Dan - Down boy. My friend is a married woman who cheated on her husband. Clearly she got caught up in some mess. Not much different in my opinion.

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

SEANJOHSON3STACKS yeah yeah yeah…We always have to listen to yall..We just a bunch of second class citizen who is lucky enough to get the crumbs of the men who are more worthy then us. Us women are twisted and we are not worthy….

Ok is that better……?? lmao!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

QC did you happen to read your brother’s brand new, just-released, hot-off-the-presses newsletter for next month? ;-)

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

SeanJ as usual the blog males are dropping tips and jewels and some of yall are being hard headed and not taking notes…yall need to learn the art of listening…

SMH…

Beautiful butterflies is simple, a happy feeling. why is that so bad? the bad side is showing the person how ga ga you are over them like you’re in hs. it’s a good feeling and someone doesn’t need to break it down for us, science. let’s keep it simple.

I think that you missed my point, but you win. How ‘bout that?

QC WHADDUP?! LOL You feelin’ like new money I see. :-)

By Dan

February 19, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

@Beautiful

i can count on my hands how many times i called him. And i let him come to me which worked out for the both of us. and with still having butterflies after 18 months, i let him go because he wasn’t ready for commitment.

Wow, immediate contradiction, right there.

You “let him call you” i.e. he had to chase you down, and then after 18 months you let hime go because he wasn’t ready for committment???? Really???

Beautiful, I mean no disrespect when I say this, maybe, just maybe he got tired of chasing a grown woman. Maybe at the time you broke up “he wasn’t ready for a committment” with you, becuase, really…you hadn’t shown any interest.

By Wow

February 19, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this

wow @ For Real’s 2:33 PM…..All your death would mean to me is one less person in the line at Wal-Mart. Why because you have no value to me…. Wow yells “Cold blooded” in her Dave Chappell voice! LMAO

By For Real

February 19, 2008 2:51 PM | Link to this

3Stacks You are right. My Paw-Paw you say women don’t listen they just waiting to talk.

For Real now putting a rubber on his leg to please the hellz out of WOW.

By mqew

February 19, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed I truely wish em the best!!!

Can a sistah get in on the drinks? I’ll take a dirty Kettle One Martini.

By i'm swiss

February 19, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

“Like I said, she loves him. It’s that familiar love though. They’ve known each other for 15 years. It’s that love you feel for a good friend. I think there is also romantic love, just not that fire like passion.”

She might have loved what she thought he could offer her — good looks, financial security, kindness — but if she had any true love (of any kind) for the man himself, she wouldn’t have cheated. True, we all have those feelings — butterflies, emotions, urges, whatever you want to call them — but what separates a grown-azz adult from a spoiled little child is the ability & willingness not to act on every little urge you feel.

Bottom line, we may not control what we feel, but we can control what we do — and more importantly, we are accountable for what we do.

By mytwocents

February 19, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

No real judgments on it cuz I never walked in those shoes, but w/ ARed’s folk- it seems like Hubby didn’t value himself either to enter into the marriage contract w/ what we’re being told were clear signs. (And yes it’s a given that sometimes a casual observer can see a clearer picture, but 15 yrs!) Now if the tables were turned and it was Wifey, most of us would be all over her lack of self esteem and why would she stay when there are plenty of men willing to be a real man for her etc. I’m jus sayin’.

By DreamsMaterialize

February 19, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

For Real I see you being misinterpreted and misunderstood on the value issue bruh. I feel you though. A person determines their own value, but you decide the value of their value in your life. Blow used the $100 dollar bill example, but missed the mark a little in the analogy. It’s true that $100 is $100 is $100 is $100, no matter how you slice it, but the value of $100 to a homeless man is far different than the value of $100 to Bill Gates. So that $100 always maintains the same monetary value, but it’s life value is different depending on who’s pocket it’s in.

Mo like Mystikal said, “here I go!” nothing like a drink to bring me out of hiding. what you got for me today?

By Page1908

February 19, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

Hey Mo!!

Truth lol u wild! Let me know if you need a tutor lol. Oh yeah, if you feel like they are talking about you, they probably are. It’s kinda like those ladies in the nail shop when they are speaking vietnamese and all laughing when they are doing an old lady’s pedicure…lol. Of course, they wouldn’t laugh at mine, they are the bomb…lol.

QC girl, you crazy! Make sure your camel toe doesn’t show too much! ctfu

By Wow

February 19, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

LMAO @ For Real….For Real now putting a rubber on his leg to please the hellz out of WOW.

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 3:01 PM | Link to this

Truth I was gonna try that but I always feel like their calling me names in spanish. LOL Plus its getting harder to find good workers.

You can’t go at it like that mayne. If you need some work done and happen to know someone who lives in the vicinity, stop in for a visit and then go and strike up a convo. I used to live with the essays a while back and I have nothing but respect for those dudes. Cats in my building really took care of me.

Blow Ok is that better……?? lmao!

Ok ok. Since you capped off with that ^^^, I can tell that you’re nowhere near as fugged up as you try to come off. I’m just gon’ have to remember that you likes to get testy.

Darrell did you happen to read your brother’s brand new, just-released, hot-off-the-presses newsletter for next month? ;-)

Aight man dayum, we’ll go check it out. Just ask us next time. Dagg. smh while lmao

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

Dreams I gotcha you..I understand what you are saying all they way.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

Mo whatever you’ve got…make it special for you. But i’on drinf for real.

Darrell …waving… okay.

By melo

February 19, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

What is it a women needs to KNOW EVERYTHING about keeping and getting a good dude. Emotionally, sexually, mentally? good in her eyes and ears,it dependes on the man/women..what it is he values in the relationship and ur ability to fulfil his needs,wants etc in that realm.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 19, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

Blue_Kolla LMAO!!! I brown-nosed to you guys at the top of this blog. That latest one really was just for my sister. LOL!

By Page1908

February 19, 2008 3:06 PM | Link to this

Dreams You r sooooooooo silly! LOL @ Mystikal. Dang, I forgot about that dude.

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

Dan?! You said this ===> Beautiful, I mean no disrespect when I say this, maybe, just maybe he got tired of chasing a grown woman. Maybe at the time you broke up “he wasn’t ready for a committment” with you, becuase, really…you hadn’t shown any interest.

Man pick that ice up! They out here lookin’ for them CZ’s.

By melo

February 19, 2008 3:13 PM | Link to this

i missed some here..so Ared’s cheating friend wont go dwn twn,is that it or im mixed up.So did this dude cry when wify disclosed being fcked by sme dude.When a wmn flaunts her cheating ways like that…..that man is dumb in my view coz none is spped to knw,not even a friend.Is this the male friend u went on cruise with Ared ur circle is fcking crazy and fun lol.Can i join in.

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

Dan i showed plenty of interest, weekly. i understand how y’all don’t get me, that’s cool.

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

Darrell LMAO!!! I brown-nosed to you guys at the top of this blog.

Yeah man, I saw that, but since you didn’t get the blog ‘attaboy, I figured that you were getting a head start on closing time.

Now normally you would’ve probably gotten a least a few commendations by now, but the blog is hot today. Nobody is really trying to have to come back and catch up on 50 posts.

By Foots

February 19, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

Dan She didn’t say that he chased her for 18 months, she said that basically, she let him determine the early terms of the relationship. She held back her emotions (i.e. Not blowing up his phone. We can reference Blue’s 10:27 for confirmation that guys don’t like this) and was patient (We got For Real’s list to confirm that patience is indeed a virtue) in order to let him set a pace that was comfortable to him. Most guys don’t want to move too fast. I think we’ve had a post that stated that also.

So…after they actually got into the relationship that he decided he wanted and were together a while, he cheated, which is where the non-commitment part comes in.

Do you read it this way, or do you read that he chased her for 18 months then bounced?

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 19, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

DreamsMaterialize I am now jammin in my seat thinking about Mystikal!! Had forgotten about that cat! Right about now I could use a nice size Texas Margarita with an extra shot! Patron good for you?

Cemeeli Did you say you dont drink? Well I got a Shirley Temple for ya! :0)

mqew gotcha on the Kettle Once Martini

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

Blue_Kolla WHo said I was fugged up? wow! lmao!!!! Is that what you have been thinking?

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

Blue lol your reply to QC…new money… You better leave Darrell’s sis alone. :-)

Page what’s your geographic local today?

mqew thanks for leaving a few goodies. Spiritual Warfare is REAL i’m going through it myself…

WillieD/SeanJ3000 like Mo said you are droppin seed to some.

By Alvin

February 19, 2008 3:23 PM | Link to this

Wow nah, that’s really not the issue you have with men…Finding a man like myself is rare…A quality brotha, back by a good dyck game.

A good lady friend once told me, ‘finding a brother to beat the cat up right is the easy part, too bad they have nothing else going for them’, LOL

So I taught myself to develope both HEEHEEHEEHEE

By Dan

February 19, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

@Beautiful

If I take your meaning, that’s not interest, that’s sex. Men tend to differentiate from the two.

Sure sex is nice, but had y’all had the conversation about an “us” there? If so, the combative “I’m not going to call him” is ridiculous.

Having feelings, and strong ones, is not a bad thing, like most indulgences (food, sugar, weed) too much is what get cha. My point is, all to often we sacrifice some ephemeral concept of pride for what may have been something good.

You almost sounded like you were bragging about not calling the man. But if you’re interested, and I’m interested (enough to have sex weekly) then, why not call me too. Why should I have to chase you? You grown.

On topic: Keep backing up ladies, keep letting that ego (and what you think you are worth) keep getting to you, and I promise you’ll be here next year singing the same song. Let go of it once in a while.

By Page1908

February 19, 2008 3:26 PM | Link to this

Cee I am in town this week. I leave for Charlotte next Thursday for CIAA.

By IslandGirl

February 19, 2008 3:26 PM | Link to this

Whoooo it is getting hot in here! Hello everyone.

Great Topic…I’ve not read all of the posts, but I must chime in and say, “yes women can control their emotions”. There is no crime in being emotional, but as we mature and learn from our experiences we learn to control certain emotions.

By nature women are emotional beings. That reality is hard for some men to accept. So when you’ve met a mature woman who knows how to keep decisions into perspective and not based on her emotions, you should respect that.

The issue of determining a person’s value is ludicrous! You determine your self-worth and make sure others respect that. Real’s explanation is concise and direct. If you are what you say you are, then don’t compromise your self-worth. Plain and simple, don’t let others determine your worth.

MLB…I appreciate your thoughts…keep it coming.

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

melo so Ared’s cheating friend wont go dwn twn,is that it or im mixed up.So did this dude cry when wify disclosed being fcked by sme dude.When a wmn flaunts her cheating ways like that…..that man is dumb in my view coz none is spped to knw,not even a friend.

Mayne she wouldn’t go downtown because her loyalties had changed. Sideline dude probably told wifey, “Look here babygurl, I don’t want’chu suckin’ his dych no more cuz I don’t like the thought of his ish in yo mouf and then you comin’ over her to kiss me. Ya digg.” And so from then on out, husband dude is trippin’ cuz he ain’t gettin’ the no-holds barred lets-get-it-ons that he was used to.

But I’ll give it to dude - he’s a better man than me, ‘cause I ain’t got enough control to stay with a chick that let another dude stamp his name over mine in the cave of inner juices. no can do…

By Wow

February 19, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

@ Alvin….thanks for the FYI on your goods…..I would make a comment but I don’t want to go there with you right now…..giving myself a moment of silence to clean my chair! Lmao “Wow nah, that’s really not the issue you have with men…Finding a man like myself is rare…A quality brotha, back by a good dyck game.” But I was quoting Coming To America!

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

Foots thanks chica. i appreciate it when y’all come to my rescue. i think it’s my wording, which makes me stress, because i get a’s in english all day long. lol. and no he did not have to chase or beg for the booty.

By mqew

February 19, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this

MO I forgot to add dirty.

Ceemee Yeah it’s not only for the married, it’s for the living, period.

And there have indeed been plenty of gems…. some may have been a lil flawed, but most are.

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this

Blow WHo said I was fugged up? wow! lmao!!!! Is that what you have been thinking?

No, just a smart-azz. lmao But it ain’t bother me, ‘cause I’m stoopid my dayum self and likes the company.

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

Page workin on that trip. I’ve asked for Friday-29h off already. have you post your addy in here before?

Mo no Cee doesn’t drink…keeps my glutious maximus clean…But after reading the heated posts i need that Shirley Temple. …ahhhh…

By Dan

February 19, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

@Beautiful

I understood how you were framing the story, it wasn’t the story itself, but the one sided version.

I’m trying to show you the male POV. The side that was at you for 18 months with (and you look honestly back at it) no indications in return. Men like the small gestures too. We keep track of who called whom, becuase of our pride. But at a certain point with the right babe, you’re ready to let all that go.

He wouldn’t have been around for 18 months if his time wasn’t worth it (unless he’d chalked it up to straight booty call sex or put you as #2, while still looking for #1).

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this

Sure sex is nice, but had y’all had the conversation about an “us” there? If so, the combative “I’m not going to call him” is ridiculous.

omg. stop. i didn’t even say we didn’t have the us conversation. we talked about that at least twice. and i did call him when it was warranted. it worked for us, me and john. now, me and dan, it would be different. talkin’ till 3am in the morning, etc. every relationship is different.

By DreamsMaterialize

February 19, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

Mo yeah Mystikal fell of the scene real fast…guess that crack’ll get ya every time. lol He did have some hits while he was out there though.

I’m a tequilla man, so patron works for me all day…double shot if you will.

By Alvin

February 19, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

Wow i was hoping that dumb shid didn’t post, LOL

By Page1908

February 19, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

Cee Ok girl, you should try to go, it’s gona be totally awesome. I’m flying out Thurs night and my friend who I’ll be with is picking me up, so I’m not sure what all is going to be going on. I am leaving that up to him lol. Email me: pageantgirl_1908 at yahoo dot com.

By 2CPTG

February 19, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

Blue, I’m withchu on this….”But I’ll give it to dude - he’s a better man than me, ‘cause I ain’t got enough control to stay with a chick that let another dude stamp his name over mine in the cave of inner juices. no can do…”……

I’da been like, bytch, you got more nerve than a tootache comin to me with that shyt…..I cain’t do it, either mayne….cheat on me, it’sa wrap!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 19, 2008 3:42 PM | Link to this

Page1908 enjoy the CIAA chica!! It should be nice!

Cemeeli you got it chica!

mqew I will make that a dirty martini.

By QC - waiting on 5ive

February 19, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this

Yep, i read it…and it’s great as usual…..i’ll print it out & post it next week….have a great evening bloggers i’m out!

By melo

February 19, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

and no he did not have to chase or beg for the booty. so u mean the booty waz a giveaway..? Blue_Kolla u knw man and wmen psyched different.Wmen can stand for that,i dont understand what lame fool wld let another man fugg wify and then sayits okay babe,we gonna work thru this…that guy seduced u lame dude indeed..i feel lke punching him!!! (last friday eve at our retreat with wify,white dude next door was fugging grlfriend and u cld hear girl giggling and guy maoning hard, rocking the bed..nw imaging ur wify getting fugged like that!!) By the way…. i let them take the spotlight 4 a minute,after their 2 seconds of white fame,i gave them a full hr of fcking entertainment..they were sleep by the time my shw wz over)

By SeanJohnson3000

February 19, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

@ Blow…you may or may not been joking on your response…..all jokes aside…women have a real problem listening…and listening comprehension..your response is of that of a little girl…and I have and prolly every other dude have experienced being in a relationship where….the female DONT listen…and responds with out listening what is said…it seems yall have a problem with men calling yall out on your own shizznit…or yall dont value or respect a man’s opinion of women if its anything thats not positive….One love to Mo and Cee and the others that pick of jewels that will help them in dating…yall get an A for following directions on the instructions at the top…

@ Foots..i was meaning to get at you for a few of your post today…but got busy…i wil buss yo head on a later date.

By mqew

February 19, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

Blue Kolla Be careful bruh… sounds like alot of pride to me.

“Pride attaches undue importance to the superiority of one’s status in the eyes of others; And shame is fear of humiliation at one’s inferior status in the estimation of others. When one sets his heart on being highly esteemed, and achieves such rating, then he is automatically involved in fear of losing his status.”

By Alvin

February 19, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this

LOL@Beautiful defending herself time and time again, LOL

By Wow

February 19, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this

@ Alvin well it did so now you have to stand behind me……um sorry i meant it…..lol

By QC - waiting on 5ive

February 19, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this

BK

New money…..old money it all feels the same cause i keep it in my pockets baby!!! HOLLA

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 3:47 PM | Link to this

Ok, for the butterfly set. Do you walk around on a daily basis with butterflies in your stomach? I didn’t think so. So in essence your asking someone else to make you happier than you normally would be? Thats not good. You should bring the happiness with you. I really think you all have poo poo tummy when you get around these cats. LOL

Page I don’t doubt your toes are the bomb. LMAO Still those chicks are like “look at this snobby 2@#$$. LOL

Foots you can’t use a previous post agianst a dude when it suits you. Thats not good blog etiquette.

6’1 I hope everything works out on the job front.

.02 yeah , thats the other half.Ol boy didn’t value himself or he wouldn’t of gone through with that charade. Goes back to not knowing what love really is. Its easy to get bamboozled if you just don’t know.

By Foots

February 19, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this

Dan Maybe it’s just me, but since you brought up “speed of the relationship” early on today, I thought that you’d appreciate a woman who was willing to be patient and let a relationship progress at a dude’s comfortable pace. Am I wrong? As a result, women generally don’t like to OVERcall, OVERchase, OVERthink a new relationship, we’d like to be sure that he is also interested. That way, he can’t say “This chick is blowing up my phone” before we learn his tolerance level for that.

So, what is your suggestion for pacing a new relationship? We know that you like for women to approach you. In your opinion, how much is TOO much in the beginning, so that you won’t complain about the speed at which she’s trying to take things?

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

mqew that’s why i keeps it light in this piece…can’t see myself having presbytery reading/posting in the blog. seriously.

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this

melo giving the booty on the regular to a guy i was dating. duh!

dan stop being so mean. tell mommy whats really wrong. john adored me and i him. i don’t regret what we had and he let’s me know through e-mail that i’m being missed. but we’re in different worlds now. i left him for a reason, and going back is not an option.

By Page1908

February 19, 2008 3:52 PM | Link to this

Truth lol. I’m not snobby, I’m sweet LOL.

QC girl, you musta got your taxes back! LOL

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this

Super Truth poopoo tummy? wow… LOL.

By Dan

February 19, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

@Foots

Nice try. I like that.

But the speed of the relationship is case by case. I’m not that dude that says “don’t give me none in the 1st week”, if you feel it, go for it, we’ll go from there.

I’m not the dude ‘bout to run after yo for 3/4 months on some arbitrary time limit foolishness, nope, not the kid.

For me, pacing a relationship is like making out before sex, it’s mutual, your body (and mind and actions) will let me know when you’re ready for it to go further. Until I get those cues from you, then I don’t proceed.

So if we having sex, you’ve caught feelings from the groove and don’t tell me…not my fault.

If we been hanging out for some time and you or I caught feelings and neither one said anything..1/2 my fault. But 9 out of 10 times, what I feel is said, because I want no misunderstandings about our interactions. And I’m grown enough to put it plain.

By Dan

February 19, 2008 4:00 PM | Link to this

@Beautiful

I’m not being mean. I was just stating a fact, from my perspective.

Nothings wrong, but if you want me to lay my head on your chest, all you have to do is ask. ;)

By SexyLeggs

February 19, 2008 4:02 PM | Link to this

Ok, I’ll be the first to admit I must not be “listening” very well. I too get bogged down with “words” and that’s why I misunderstood Truth’s post on “want” and “have”. Now, here I am again misunderstanding Truth

who the heck asked to be given butterflies. I don’t recall one woman here asking. It’s simply an occurrence. It hits you whether you asked for it or not. I’m going to bed, my brain isn’t working today!

By melo

February 19, 2008 4:02 PM | Link to this

giving the booty on the regular to a guy i was dating. duh i see but i wnt go hard on u,i get the pic.

By The Truth

February 19, 2008 4:03 PM | Link to this

6’1 I know a chick that works there too. I’ll have to check on her and make sure she’s ok. Have they done the whole 10% or is it a little at a time? Your azz won’t be blogging much longer because your about to catch all that extra work. LOL

Btw, you owe me an apology for going off on me earlier. You should have been able to read those posts and know it wasn’t me. I’m dissapointed.

By Alvin

February 19, 2008 4:05 PM | Link to this

Wow becareful bay, it’s been 2 1/2 months so you know I wont be playing games…You’ll belike, “Dayum Alvin!!! What are all those no-dozes’n’red bulls for…And why are you lining up bullets’n’toys!!??

Seeing a devilish grin on Alvin’s face, Wow is now backing up while using both hand to guard kitty

HEEHEEEHEEEHEEEHEE

By mqew

February 19, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

CeeMee Ohhh I guess thas why I don’t that much. GOTCHA! But, I do read for kicks and giggles and I’m rarely disappointed!

By melo

February 19, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

anybody out there who knws hw to develop a model/templates in monarch..i need help???? takpat78@gmail.com

By Sidelines...

February 19, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

@WillieD, SJ3000…One love to Mo and Cee and the others that pick of jewels that will help them in dating…yall get an A for following directions on the instructions at the top…**

Alot of us caught those jewels of MLB today…

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

melo (last friday eve at our retreat with wify,white dude next door was fugging grlfriend and u cld hear girl giggling and guy maoning hard, rocking the bed..nw imaging ur wify getting fugged like that!!)

Dude you are stoopid as hayo. lmao But you’re right though. A dude is really try to kill a catch that he knows belongs to somebody else.

Any chick that don’t believe it tell a dude that you’re married and hubby ain’t actin’ right. Dude gon’ beat that joint so hard you gon’ be looking at the mattress for azz dents.

mqew Be careful bruh… sounds like alot of pride to me.

I’ll take that… and add a few more - ego, macho, no-f*******-wayo.

QC New money…..old money it all feels the same cause i keep it in my pockets baby!!!

You might’ve taken that wrong, so how about, “You must be feelin’ like 500 gold bars sittin’ in your living room.”

By Beautiful

February 19, 2008 4:09 PM | Link to this

lawd! what was the question again? i need a drink.

By For Real

February 19, 2008 4:10 PM | Link to this

For Real now licking Page’s forehead to see how sweet she is. MMMMMMM taste like chicken.

QC Let me hold $2 and some dunkin sticks!

Foots I know you asked Dan but I usually go 5 times to right, 5 times to the left and 10 times down the middle. What kind of pace do you prefer?

Six-One Sorry to hear that but I am glad they brought you back. I’m over at HD corp.

For Real now passing out shot of Brass Monkey to all the blog ladies.

By Foots

February 19, 2008 4:13 PM | Link to this

SeanJ I look forward to whatever you have to add to the conversation.

Dan Just trying to gain an understanding of what type of behavior throws a man off when his internal “pacemeter” is breached. From what I can tell from you, it’s all good, you just like to know that she is DEFINITELY and without a doubt interested in you so that you can make your move. Now if she was so interested in you that she tried to meet your parents, that’s a no-no and would make you have “the speed talk” with her.

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 4:14 PM | Link to this

laughing at page! agreeing whole heartedly with Foots. I wonder the same thing alot also.

By Foots

February 19, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this

For Real Whatever pace has me calling my primary care physician for a prescription for Flexeril in the morning.

By DuShawn

February 19, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

I have to agree with the women regarding butterflies and emotions versus logic in choosing a mate. I‘m of the opinion, that people, especially in this city, place far too much emphasis on whose bringing what to the table. @Melo & Blue Kolla on the subject of unfaithful wives, ”i dont understand what lame fool wld let another man fugg wify and then sayits okay babe,we gonna work thru this” You never know what you would do until you’re faced with that situation. Personally, I share your sentiment to a degree. However, if I knew was tricking out, neglecting and disrespecting the woman and she chose to get with another dude, maybe that’s something I could eventually forgive. Typically, husbands cause their wives to cheat. If I knew my actions created so much unhappiness for that woman that she sought the comfort of another man, maybe we could work through it to keep our family together. I don’t think that’s lame. Then again, I may kill both they azz.

By AmazonRed

February 19, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

melo - She was never into going downtown because she hates the act. That’s when I laugh when dudes are like “girls that don’t go down don’t get wifed.” Hell yes they do. And so do the ones who think that they only need to bring themselves to the table.

And no, this is not the friend I went on the cruise with. Two separate dudes. The one I cruised with is like a brother to me.

By Wow

February 19, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

LOL @ Alvin I told you to STOP putting our business out there like that! No one is supposed to know that I like bullets……shhhhhhhhh!

@ real….thanks for the brass monkey!

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

Page mail call.

By mqew

February 19, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

Have a good one all. I’m out!

By Blow Me a.k.a Bomb 1st

February 19, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

ALVIN & WOW Please get a room. And no BLOG SEX!! Sheesh

SJ3000 I have had a enough of you today. I thought you could be SAVED.. guess damn not. So much for being positive. We do not have a problem with listening. We listen fine when the lady @ macy’s dept tells us it’s %50 of shoes. We just don’t want to listen to the lies and garbage you try to cram down our ears. Oh we can listen well. Just come correct without all the BOGUS fluff!!

By M.C. 401K

February 19, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this

Beautiful - I feel you on not goin back, I may bump into a shortie from back day lookin better than ever. All I gotta do is think back to why I left her azz in the 1st place then I k.i.m.

These chix aint listen to nothin the bro’s got to say!

I guess its back to the same ole back and forth….

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 4:30 PM | Link to this

Foots Now if she was so interested in you that she tried to meet your parents, that’s a no-no and would make you have “the speed talk” with her.

Now I don’t get that whole concept… “meet the parents.” My parents have been meeting potnas and girlfriends all of my life, and that ain’t about to change. Is it that parents represent some type of nobility, or is it that you don’t your peeps to see how many people you’re runnin’ through.

By melo

February 19, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

oh, i saw Ared’s comment on he friend.not going dwn twn..from a man’s point(me) she is still cheating!!

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 4:34 PM | Link to this

Red She was never into going downtown because she hates the act.

I guess you was holdin’ the light ha? You act like you were standing right there!

By Foots

February 19, 2008 4:35 PM | Link to this

For Real …And if 20 strokes are all you got, I could probably get my healing in the morning from a Flintstones vitamin.

you know I loves you…

By Rell

February 19, 2008 4:37 PM | Link to this

@dushawn….REAL TALK!!!!!!…cosign that post..we are the cause of all this here…fellas stop blaming the women….return to the upright position when p**….this is what i ask..

By Cemeeli

February 19, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this

SeanJ3000 thanks for the love.

Dang Du after you thought about “maybe” working through it….don’t kill ‘em!?!

To all the MEN that gave a bit today. THANKS FOR THE SEED OF KNOWLEDGE!

…the leaves-pile got high for a while there. a chic leaving the office with the shaky leg syndrome…i wonder why?

Be easy!

By Foots

February 19, 2008 4:39 PM | Link to this

Blue Is it that parents represent some type of nobility, or is it that you don’t your peeps to see how many people you’re runnin’ through.

Hellz, I don’t know!! Ask Dan, that’s what makes him have “that talk” with a woman. My friends and boyfriends meet my people in the normal course of spending time together. My family is not off limits and meeting them doesn’t hold any extra special meaning for me.

By melo

February 19, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

That’s when I laugh when dudes are like “girls that don’t go down don’t get wifed.” dudes are right..see what happened to this dude,he was a bad reader of wman,shld have let her alone.Now his hand got bit real bad.When u luv a man, u do anything for him..ride or die.Ask the married women here, they will tell u.

By For Real

February 19, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

For Real now borrowing a suit from Musing Scrabble Lee to meet Foots parents.

For Real: Hellow Mr. Foot I brought you this wrench as small token. Oh hello Mrs. Foot, I brought you this phish sandwich as a small token as well. Also, I would like to thank you for Foots ankle to calf ratio. I can see ain’t going to lose it either.

Mr. Foots bust For Real head to the white meat with the wrench.

By Blue_Kolla

February 19, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

Ok Red I got it. Your girlfriend, whose been with dude for 15 years, married, the whole 9, everything is on point, except the butterflies, won’t go downtown… drumroll …’cause dude ain’t circumcised!!

In that case, she gets a pass. LOL

By Alvin

February 19, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

Blow yo mean P blocking a$$, LOL…I blog love you anyway

Wow until next time, stay bless…

Night All

By melo

February 19, 2008 4:48 PM | Link to this

Then again, I may kill both they azz. lol,thats the real u, coz i knw u can get another!! For Real …And if 20 strokes are all you got, I could probably get my healing in the morning from a Flintstones vitamin lol at Real

By For Real

February 19, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

ARed and her friend trying to go down…..

ARed: Okay there it is, go head and try it and tell me what you think.

ARed Friend: Ummmm I don’t know. You know I got some big teeth. Why don’t you go first?

ARed: Awww come on now don’t be scared. You asked me to set this up for you now go ahead.

ARed Friend: Ummmm I just can’t his pee-pee hole looks like my mama’s eye.

ARed: Fine I’ll do it!! With yo scary azz.

ARed Friend: So,so,so,…. ARed? ARed?

After 20 minutes….

ARed Friend: Soooooo, how was it? You shole took a long time. Was it good?

ARed: It does taste like Black Cake.

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

Just wanted to tell you guys I love u all, Gud & Bayd! You make my day go by with all of this shyyyyyt! Have a good nite. Off to happy hour! Dayuum wait it aint 5 yet!

By 6'1 & luvin it

February 19, 2008 4:52 PM | Link to this

4 Real u stooopid as hell!

By melo

February 19, 2008 4:53 PM | Link to this

’cause dude ain’t circumcised!! lol, BK,dude dont knw what heaven on earth is for 15 years!!!

By Willie Dynamite

February 19, 2008 4:58 PM | Link to this

Good Job today fellas. We may have got through to a few of em. But others need a lil/lot more sprinkling.

Bomb 1st Through all that I see the potential in ya. A few pecan seasons and you’ll be alright.

Nite All

By SexyLeggs

February 19, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this

Good night everyone!

Give someone you love a big ole BEAR HUG!

Get some rest and remain WATCHFUL!

By melo

February 19, 2008 5:13 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs Get some too!! lol