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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2008 > February > 18
Monday, February 18, 2008
Good vibes, bad vibes
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
A couple of my girlfriends and I recently went to an art opening that was an incredibly target-rich environment for us. We talked to several different men throughout the night and had a really good time mingling, although none of us found any winners.
Afterward, my friend Ally told Lisa that she gives “the no face” when she’s out mingling. Lisa protested, saying that she was only giving “the no face” to men who clearly weren’t interested in her from the get-go and were talking up other women. But it’s true. She makes a snap judgment about men if they don’t immediately gravitate to her when we’re out, determining that they’re not interested in her and that she shouldn’t encourage them in any way.
And I’ve seen other women and men do this, too, who just emotionally shut people off as soon as they walk up. Give ‘em a chance, people! It’s healthy to socialize and meet new people, even if you don’t end up in some whirlwind romance. You might even make a business contact or (gasp!) a friend! And besides, you may not be interested in them, but they may have a hot friend…
Do you ever give people “the no face” when you’re out in public and they approach you? How approachable do you think you are when you’re out? Would your friends agree with this assessment? Haven’t had anyone strike up conversation with you lately? Maybe it’s time to reassess the kind of vibes you give off!
If you’re not usually open to talking with strangers, what could you do to help yourself lighten up and engage in conversation more? Do you have friends who could also use help with their mingling skills?
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