Misadventures in Atlanta

By Cemeeli

February 13, 2008 8:22 AM | Link to this

Good morning!

ohhh…am i first?…

What kind of dating advice do you think single guys need? Don’t tell me that your ex was a capital “B”, on the first date! …PLEASE!

By pisces08

February 13, 2008 8:36 AM | Link to this

Morning All. Ok, I’m open, lets hear it. I can use the advice. I admit it (today only).

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 13, 2008 8:41 AM | Link to this

Oh, snap! This oughta be good. LOL! (Morning, Cemeeli.) ;-)

By Page1908

February 13, 2008 8:42 AM | Link to this

Good Morning! Ok, this is a good topic, so let me think about it. LOL

Hey Cee are you going to the CIAA event this year? Do you know about it?

By Cemeeli

February 13, 2008 8:43 AM | Link to this

…aside from superficials….

Where does he meet them? wher he lets expect…she maybe at the car wash washing her car 7am on a Saturday morning…@ the neighborhood Target in the electronics isle picking up a CD’…

What appeals to her? her = me. Well if you are genuine, funny and can carry a decent simple conversation, well that helps.

What would make him stand out from the other suitors? If he’s easy going AND serious enough to know how to balance life. That scent!

By Demi

February 13, 2008 8:45 AM | Link to this

Mayyyne…like why do I feel a male bashing coming on?

Demi is now calling “Tank” (of Matrix 1) to load weapons program

By Cemeeli

February 13, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

What Cee meant to say was:

Where does he meet them? where he least expects…she maybe at the car wash, washing her car 7am on a Saturday morning…

This was for entertaining purposes only….I’m not grammar correcting myself agian!

Hey Page and Mr. Darrell

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 13, 2008 8:49 AM | Link to this

Demi “Demi is now calling “Tank” (of Matrix 1) to load weapons program”

Speaking of The Matrix, I hope you’ve been practicing dodging bullets in slow-motion. LOL!

By Cemeeli

February 13, 2008 8:50 AM | Link to this

What Cee meant to say was:

Where does he meet them? where he least expects…she maybe at the car wash, washing her car 7am on a Saturday morning…

This was for entertaining purposes only….I’m not grammar correcting myself agian!

Hey Page and Mr. Darrell

By m

February 13, 2008 8:54 AM | Link to this

Focus! - instead of using this as a chat room, how about answering the question?

By Cemeeli

February 13, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

*blog ate my last post to you Page.

Yes Cee knows about the CIAA and i hadn’t thought to make it out to the tournaments. What about you?

By Page1908

February 13, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this

Because I travel quite a bit for work and pleasure, I always meet dudes at the airport. I love the airport. I also meet dudes when I least expect to.

One key piece of advice that I would like to offer to men is this: Don’t think that just because a woman expresses interest in you that you are the only one. Guys tend to think that if they are not interested in the woman that she will automatically pursue him, which in some cases, maybe, but not all. If I go out on a date with someone and we don’t talk much after that, for whatever reason, most likely the feeling is mutual. I can think of several of them in the last few months who don’t have much to offer, therefore it’s no concern if I don’t hear from them either way.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 13, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this

Morning Err’body!!

Did somebody mention something about the CIAA tournament?? I love going to the tournament, but havent been in about 2yrs. Parents & siblings all alumns of CIAA schools.

Cemeeli I see you got it jumpin already girl! LOL

Page1908 hey chica!

I will comment later, need a moment to really wake up! :0)

By Kym

February 13, 2008 8:59 AM | Link to this

Ladies, do you think you can give a single guy a little insight on dating a quality woman?

I would drop the word quality and say a woman because what is quality for some is trash to others. Main advice be yourself not who you think she wants to meet, not your representative, just being you is really enough. If it works for her great..if not then oh well.

Where does he meet them? Everywhere…

What appeals to her? Cant answer that because what appeals to me may not appeal to others..how a dude looks has never been my thing..accept for height..but then I have dated “the height challenged before” but what appeals to me is conversation, and attitude, you can say alot about yourself without saying anything at all. What would make him stand out from the other suitors? Again cant speak for anyone else…but if the guy is geniune it will show through.

By QC

February 13, 2008 9:05 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers….Demi you may need to pull out your supersonic bullet proof double sided vest

By IMHO

February 13, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this

Don’ts:

don’t talk down to me.

don’t “front” and brag about yourself.

don’t badmouth others.

don’t get drunk.

don’t get offended if I don’t pretend to agree with you on everything.

Do’s:

Ask my opinion on…anything.

compliment me on…anything.

find out which interests we have in common and talk about those instead of droning on and on about which college team is gonna make it to the Final Four.

Be honest at the end of the date. If you didn’t have a good time, or don’t think you want to go out again, say so. I promise nobody will get offended if you say something like “I think you’re great but I don’t think we have that spark. Thanks for going out with me though.”

By Page1908

February 13, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this

Cee Girl, you should go this year! I am not an Alumni of any CIAA schools, but a friend on mine is, who lives in Charlotte, so I am flying up there on the 29th to go and I’ll be there all weekend. Or course the parties and Step Show will be off the chain. According to my friend, there’s gonna be tons of people all over the place. He’s a former basketball player and at 6’6 and with my height, I am sure we’ll blend right in…lol. Some of my sorors are going and another friend who is a Nupe is gonna go with his GF and meet us there. It will be like a “couples” kinda thing for us, so it should be awesome.

Mo Hey chica! The CIAA is gonna be fun for sure! But, you know we are gonna be off the chain this weekend at 300 Atlanta and Barnacles. My friend sent me my new Shaq Jersey since he was just traded to my Suns, so hopefully I will get it on time. If not, I’ll have to rock my Nash stuff instead, lol.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 13, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this

Demi You better brush up on dodging bullets in slow motion. LOL!

By Jay

February 13, 2008 9:16 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli Is that too much caffine?

By court_fanatic

February 13, 2008 9:21 AM | Link to this

Respect her, admire her, compliment her, enjoy her uniqueness and appreciate her for who she is. And above all - never take her for granted. Appreciate the small tokens of affection and love.

By Cemeeli

February 13, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

Page Okay so i see imma live vicariously through you too! Gurl, you travel like i did before i had my son (not that i regret). I so appreciate hearing your travels…ENJOY! I’ll catch up with you real soon ;-).

…i have family in the Charlotte/Winston, area…i could finagle a trip…hmmm. No hotel cost…

Hey Mo!

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 13, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this

Mornin All - I see a lot of Nice comments made by the ladies this morn, but it aint the whole truth just yet. I’ll sit back for a min on this one…

By Demi

February 13, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

Darrell I aint dodging shyt, Imma make like Neo and stop the bullets

Demi now holds his hand out like Neo

By AmazonRed

February 13, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

Good morning all.

Well, the best piece of dating advice I have for the fellas is: DON’T BE LAZY! Yes, we know that the dating world works in your favor, and that you are the commodity due to the ratio of men to women. However, step up be a man and stop letting this fact make you lazy. Do your job, so she will have no excuse not to do hers.

There is plenty more, but that is the biggest problem I see out there.

By Cemeeli

February 13, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

Jay i’on know who brewed the Starbucks Christmas Blend this morning…(does coffee grinds stale?)i guess…LOL!

By tweety

February 13, 2008 9:27 AM | Link to this

Good Morning..OFF TOPIC-have anyone ever used a Tongue vibrator-does it work I mean does the guy like it…would like to know before i get it…Thanks

By Page1908

February 13, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

Cee Girl, I am just used to it. All these different time zones are sure to catch up with me sooner or later. I was just in NYC at the end of Jan for work, then the next weekend in Phoenix for Superbowl, so I am about due again, lol.

By DreamsMaterialize

February 13, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

Hey everyone.
she maybe at the car wash washing her car 7am on a Saturday morning…@ the neighborhood Target in the electronics isle picking up a CD’…

To all the ladies on the blog…how receptive are you to guys who approach you randomly in a public place?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 13, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this

Dayum, Tweety! Come on in. Don’t mind us. LOL!

By Jay

February 13, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli It seems you’re feeling real good today. I hope all goes well.

By Page1908

February 13, 2008 9:38 AM | Link to this

Dreams I am very receptive to this way, in fact I prefer it. It is less threatening in my opinion and allows for a more natural conversation. The other day I met a dude at the Health Food store when I was buying my apple cider vinegar.

By Jay

February 13, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this

Dreams That’s the real question. From my experience, When you apporch these women in these places. They look at you and think why are you bringing all this game. We also understand, just because a woman is out, she dont want to be approched.

By Raqi

February 13, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

If you want to meet a mature poised woman you must be a mature self-confident man.

By AmazonRed

February 13, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this

Dreams - It really depends on how he approaches and what he looks like. Might sound shallow, but it’s the truth.

By QC

February 13, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

Demi, use your vest…not your hands you’re gonna need them to feed your sweetie her chocolate strawberries on V-day

By SexyCool

February 13, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

what makes coach stand out to me is his sense of style (his grooming and dress are impeccable), his individuality (he is not a follower), his authoratative manner (he is a leader and a take charge kind of guy), his sense of humor (he keeps me laughing), his boldness (he’s not afraid to take risks), his intellect (he majored in political science and is a history buff), his sexiness…

i also appreciate that he pays attention to me…he looks into my eyes when he is talking to me and when he is listening…he is chivalrous…he is protective of me…

and i could go on…obviously…

my advice to single men dating…find someone with whom you have something IN COMMON, that you like talking to and that you can laugh with…

oh…and quit trying so hard to be Mack of the Month…just be yourself…

By Cemeeli

February 13, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

Dreams

How receptive are you to guys who approach you randomly in a public place?

I’m the same Cee at work, church, salon, school, at the house around the family…ya-da. The place where a guy approachs will not make a diff from the next…mostly i think i am approachable. Yet don’t get it twisted to think i can be overly nice/pushover, b/c i did have a hell of an example on to handle ignorant men/women.

By SlimOne

February 13, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Times changed

Guys have now switched roles from being the chaser to sitting back chilling while the women chase. This gives them the opportunity to pick-n-choose. Its like we would rather play it their way than to not play at all. When we give in, they win. If we walk, they really don’t care b/c another one will easily take our place and do what we wouldn’t do. As women, we have set ourselves up and now we are paying for it.

By 2CPTG©

February 13, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

Good Morning…..

Now I gotta vent! Ya know, gettin kinda ticked here with all these female centered topics!!! How can you ask ladies to give Men advice? Why not ask a dude whose in a successful relationship to give his compadres advice, not a female….Not saying they can’t, but they’re not men!!! They don’t think like us, nor act like us, so what qualifies them to give us advice? You don’t see men giving ladies advice on female products, do ya???

come on moderators, balance this thing out!

By SayWhat

February 13, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

Don’t make going for the drawers a priority. And remember, if you have to beg, she doesn’t want to give it to you. And most important of all, NO/STOP MEANS NO/STOP!! Not heading the warning can get you a bullet (and I mean the Smith & Wesson kind).

Happy dating!

By Blue_Kolla

February 13, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

What up blog…

900 I see a lot of Nice comments made by the ladies this morn, but it aint the whole truth just yet. I’ll sit back for a min on this one…

Me too.

By The Truth

February 13, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

By the time a dude hits the market most of the work is already done. He’s a product of his upbringing.

If I had a son I’d tell him to be a sniper and not a shotgun blast. Pick your targets carefully and shoot some strong rounds down range. Don’t be a shotgun blast wasting your assets and exposing yourself to every sorry chick out there. They’ll drain your resources and give you a negative perception of women as a whole.

Also, I’d show him that pain is part of life and winners experience more pain than losers, they just process it better. Once a cat settles up with pain he can’t be stopped.

I’d also expose him to everything possible. Music, libraries, fighting (martial arts, boxing), cooking, ironing, birth, death, everything I could get him near. EVERYTHING, you never know when you’ll need a skill or experience. Charachter is simply being able to deal with just about anything life throws at you.

Most important is never, ever, date from the bottom. Its easier to lose a chick and move on than stay under her terms. NEVER FOLLOW HER PLAN IN LIFE. If you don’t have a plan sit your azz down and develope one, alone. Then hit the track again.

I’d send him out to the world and women would be a by product of him being himself.

My .02

This message is endorsed by friends of The Truth.

By Cemeeli

February 13, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

Thanks…Jay

By AmazonRed

February 13, 2008 9:58 AM | Link to this

2CPTG - There will probably be a reciprical topic in the coming days. Be patient.

Also, why wouldn’t you accept advice from women if the topic is dating women? Wouldn’t we know what we’d want and what we are looking for out of a guy?

By Page1908

February 13, 2008 9:59 AM | Link to this

LOL 2 Ok, that’s true, but from what I’ve seen on the blog, there are very few men on here who are in successful relationships. What I usually see is men talking about cheating on their women, disrespecting women, and bragging about how bomb they are when they have a woman. Most of the dudes on here talk about how great, handsome, whatever they are, but I doubt their blog persona is true in person, who knows. You are right, I would like to hear more from men in successful relationships.

By Raqi

February 13, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

DreamMat When I was single, if you found me out and about at 7am in the morning doing anything, I did not want to be approached. Keeping those hours are usually for those who want to avoid the crowds and all the hustle and bustle. If she looks preoccupied in what she is doing, you may not get too much of a response out of her. But that’s just me.

One thing you have to remember is doing chores (shopping, washing the car) is a time crunch for a lot of women. We are usually trying to get in and get out. The last thing we want is to be hassled by someone who we may assume is just trying to “get in and get out” of us.

If a woman is at the car wash with the possibility of picking up someone, you will know it. It will be that obvious.

By Cemeeli

February 13, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

2C…i’d like to hear…balance.

By Tazzee

February 13, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

Morning Folks!

Kym the former Dr. made a lot of good points.

My advice comes from a woman that dates to marry. If a guy has the same goal it really doesn’t take a lot. No pick-up lines are needed, but honesty is a must. I suggest that a guy that is looking for a LTR stay out of shadeville - you know, only giving out the cell number, being purposefully secretive about certain things…all that. While some guys may think they are operating on a ‘need to know’ basis, most women view those tactics as being shady and that the man has something to hide. That is what leads to us overanalyzing stuff. But if a man starts out with an attitude of full disclosure, he starts out with a level of trust from the lady he is courting.

Now there may be some women that have a lot of baggage and are naturally suspicious, so you this doesn’t apply to all. But the woman that’s in a good place in her life and ready to start forming a life with a man will be receptive to a man that’s an open book.

Happy Hump Day folks!

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 13, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

What up CEE! I see you droppin a few gems on here today.

ARed mornin… I feel you on the lazy thing, but I gotta take up for the lost few. Cause if you’ve delt w/ a few females that did not step up and show appreciation for you openin doors, givin compliments, tryin to give a dam about what they have to say then some of these habits may fade. You’d be surprised to find how many women out there are not too receptive to the “nice” attentive man. I tend to think it has more to do with how women receive this type of treatment vs. men just being lazy. great example for fellas, go head and open doors for every young chic you can this week. You’ll be amazed @ how many do Not say thanx

Mack of the Month -naw Im going for the Ray Charles lifetime acheivement award.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 13, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

I have no “game”. I’m just me.

By melo

February 13, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

NEVER FOLLOW HER PLAN IN LIFE. If you don’t have a plan sit your azz down and develope one, alone u nailed it Truth!! 2CPTG© exactly. That truth is the real advice for a man who wants to be a leader of his household.Strong man.

By 2CPTG©

February 13, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

A Red, you said, “There will probably be a reciprical topic in the coming days. Be patient.”

you’re a smart young lady…what’s the operative word in your sentence? ……..probably!!!!

I’m just sayin’, day in and day out….ladies this, and ladies that….soror, I didn’t say the brother in a successful ‘lationship had to come from the blog; It just kills me how skewed this thing is….

By AmazonRed

February 13, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

900k - No taking up for your gender today. There are always going to be unappreciative women, that’s not the topic today! And it’s also not the point. Do your job and if she doesn’t do hers, it’s not on you!

But yeah, I’ve read on here time and time again how women arent’ into the nice, receptive guys, but many guys aren’t trying to be that way either, because they take it as a sign of weakness.

By Dan

February 13, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

the wise diva thinks it is hilarious that dating advice from men and women are contradictory. The reality however is if you get 5 women in a room you will get 5 different and often contradictory opionions, 5 men in a room and you may have 1 with a different take. This is why we have to wing it, which is fine, makes it more exciting

By Tazzee

February 13, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

2can I understand your vent, but while we don’t think alike I think it would be great for men to see how certain things you guys do get filtered by us. And we are all different so just because a man was successful getting his wife doesn’t mean it’s going to work on the next woman. Like Kym said, we can only speak from our experiences.

Furthermore, I don’t think a lot of men are really giving advice to one another because I’ve met quite a few ‘decent’ dudes that needed some guidance. They knew and fraternized with guys in successful relationships but something wasn’t getting passed on…

How many of you guys out there have asked for advice from some of your friends in successful relationships?

Truth well said sir.

dangit, I got a lot of work to do today!

By AmazonRed

February 13, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this

2CPTG - That’s because men are doodyheads. LOL. No one wants to read guy geared topics. LOL!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 13, 2008 10:15 AM | Link to this

DreamsMaterialize I agree with Page1908 on your question as to when to approach me, notice I said me. I actually prefer to be approached in Target, Starbucks, Waffle House etc. I prefer the places where you can actually talk to me. Now if I look like I am in a hurry then I probably dont want to be approached but otherwise I am open. Just dont be fooled by the stone face, have to wear that from time to time! LOL

By Blue_Kolla

February 13, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

@ Truth Co-sign that 9:57

By does it matter

February 13, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

Let’s set aside the superficial: his looks and money (if only for a day) and concentrate on the good stuff - a man’s real A game, his character.

Women looking at character, not that has become a freaking joke today. Women don’t want character they want a CHARACTER. If you looked for more character than the Characters of the world, then maybe there wouldn’t be much to try and change later in life. You do realise that guys act this way because they crave the attention, the same way as that “tramp” on the dance floor that is half naked. Those that don’t need to be the center of attention eventually become the center of attention as we get older due to their character. Those characters acts get old and then you want to start changing them. People think that men have a distorted view due to Models and Stars are mistaken, it has become the other way. Your all looking for the Brad Pitts or Will Smiths, guess what there are only 1 of each of them. So if you really want to find happiness start looking at that guy that treats People respectfully, not just women, but everyone. Then you will see a guy with character and he will be someone that you can count on, someone that is willing to be the person you need him to be. I think its quite telling that no one, not a single person mentioned character until I posted. That should tell you all you need to know as to why we have so many divorces and good people that are still single. Keep rewarding those guys for being a Character and they will never change, then you children will end up the same way because it worked for Daddy and Mommy, even though they don’t live together anymore. Get real…

By Raqi

February 13, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

But 2CPTG I have seen her post topics that you send to her. Lets give her credit for that.

And you are correct we don’t think like men just like men don’t think like women. That’s why you need a woman to tip you on how a woman thinks.

By Cemeeli

February 13, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

Hey there 900K i’m just keeping it Cee…‘gems’ Thanks…guess that’s a compliment.

Tazzee I had Pop Secret for dinner lastnight. We talked about popcorn enough yesturday so i wanted/made me a bowl.

By 2CPTG©

February 13, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

Tazz….I feel what all of you ladies are saying….HOWEVER….ya still ain’t a man! y’all want us to be what y’all want us to be, not whats within us to be whomever we shall be…(if you can follow that)….

we’re always talking about the de-masculinization of society - hell, it goes on right here, be it subliminally or not, it’s happens every day right before our damn eyes!

answer this for me Tazz, cna a broke dude tell you how to get money?

By Raqi

February 13, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

LOL I said that, but I get most of my sound advice from my friend Doc and not her husband of 17yrs Dr. Doc.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 13, 2008 10:27 AM | Link to this

Most of the dudes on here talk about how great, handsome, whatever they are, but I doubt their blog persona is true in person, who knows. -this is all me FYI… no hidin behind some fake made up life. But I feel you, just remember that its more like “many people on here” not just the men.

ARed - I got you… I still continue to be me no matter what. But I gotta say I have been known to get on some shyt after dealin w/ a few bubble heads. but many guys aren’t trying to be that way either, because they take it as a sign of weakness.- speakin of weakness you got them 4” heels on 2day???

The reality however is if you get 5 women in a room you will get 5 different and often contradictory opionions -well said, women are so much alike and completely different at the same time. I blame it on the mood swings…

By Page1908

February 13, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

Frat and 900 Ok, points well taken.

By Tazzee

February 13, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

2can no, a broke dude can’t tell me how to get money. But the person that didn’t give me the job can tell me better what I could have done to get the job than someone else that’s employed at a totally different company.

And most of the women are saying ‘be yourself’ - yes some are adding what we’d like once you get in the relationship, but as it pertains to meeting and getting a chance for the relationship - be yourself. And if being yourself meshes with me being myself then cool - if it doesn’t, then move on to being yourself with the next woman. No one is asking anyone to change the core of their being.

Most of the ‘game’ men spit is a result of them being hurt that first time (this is coming from the men on this blog) or something else external. We’re saying get rid of all that baggage - if you think you’re ready to settle down - and come with an open book. At least that’s what Tazzee is saying.

Cemeeli You are so wrong. What kind was it - Homestyle, Kettle Corn, Butter, Low-fat? Give me the deets so I can live vicariously through you, LOL.

By AmazonRed

February 13, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

900k - I’ve got on whatever you want me to have on today. ;-)

By SexyCool

February 13, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

i’m a tazzee fan today…

By The Truth

February 13, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

Raqi “That’s why you need a woman to tip you on how a woman thinks.” Nothing could be further form the truth. It doesn’t matter how you think, ol boy should roll the way he rolls, period. Your thoughts/emotions will change by tomorrow moring. Any athlete knows that once you start playing your opponents game you’ve lost. Same in dating.

Someone in here said awhile back that people start changing and one day realize they don’t know who they are anymore, or something to that affect. A cat with a strong mind won’t fall victim to that. He’ll say “this is the program I run and you can either ride or bolt but its not changing, dam what you think.”

Also, you can be nice and strong too. Being a man doesn’t mean walking around with a club, but it does mean that we can get straight barbaric if need be. You gotta have the whole tool chest to make it in this day.

Ared a gem from a woman. ” Do your job, so she will have no excuse not to do hers.” Thats the key, when a cat does his job he forces e1 around him to do theirs. Its a beautiful thing. If a cat does his job right and it doesn’t work out her girlfrinds will get in line to do the job. LOL

By melo

February 13, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

2CPTG If a guy wanted to meet, date, and have a relationship with women, what “man laws” do think would help him?….i think tho, that this part of WD qs is addressing men.So chip in with ur man laws as she puts it.

By For Real

February 13, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!

Part 1

There are definitely single men out there that are utterly clueless about dating women - normal and mature women. He may pretend to know it all, but it becomes clear that he has a lot to learn.

Okay, first if any man claims to know anything about women they are lying. No two women are the same thus it is impossible, Impossible, IMPOSSIBLE to know women because women do not have baseline. How can women expect a man to know them when women themselves don’t know. So Wise I would change that one sentence to read “every man is clueless”. Oh and can you please tell me what women doesn’t believe that she is “normal and mature”? As a matter of fact can I get a definition of “normal and mature” from the ladies?

By 2CPTG©

February 13, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

Raqi, it ain’t so much the topics, cause that ain’t gon’ change, but the delivery of the topics…..

I guess that whole, “advice for a single guy” just threw me…..If I’mma take some advice, it’s gon’ be from somebody that’s achieved what I’m seeking;

By mytwocents

February 13, 2008 10:47 AM | Link to this

Since you asked, here are some 2Cent Tips:

Please stop leading with your car’s make & model, your salary or how much you paid for that watch… It’ll either A.) Turn a real chick off or B.) Impress a silly chick whom you’ll be telling your boys was a money trick by the next weekend AND C.) Expose you as someone who has to buy the good stuff. Give YOURSELF more credit than that, and certainly aim to secure a woman with more depth than that. You’re worth it!

If you can’t make it afterall, CALL. If you have to postpone for 30 mins, 1hr, 2days CALL. DO NOT expect to call an hour or days later and find that she’s been sitting there with baited breath still ready to share her collective goodies with you! (Mind, Body, Soul depending on how far y’all are in the mixx. Yes, life happens even when we have pre-set plans ~ Respect our time as much as you respect your own.

Give yourself a lil cheat sheet – many of us do. When you obtain the #, put a memorable characteristic in your Cell/PDA. ie First Name: Jackie Last Name: Red Stilettos!, First Name: Simone Last Name: Publix Deli, First Name: Sally Last Name: Fat AZZ whateva… NEVER call & ask a lady to ‘remind you where you met her/ what she looks like, etc.’ That is SUPER Ridiculous and yes, insulting. Rack your memory first and then call her cute behind.

Don’t ASSUME the ladies aren’t into Sports. Maybe she’d like to go to the game with you & y’all can trash talk each other.

2C What’s confusing you? If a guy in a successful relationship gave his advice then it would only reflect how he got his sweetie. If single gals give their advice it may help someone else snag a sweetie of their own. Successful guy’s gal is already gone…XOXO

By the truth

February 13, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this

I have been married for just over a year. My advice for single guys is to not act like a little boy and grow up. Treat women with respect. Do not date someone just to have someone to date. Be honest and up front and NEVER LIE. Trust me on this one. Also, I would not advise moving in together. That is trouble you do not want. If you think that moving in together will “help” you know whether or not to marry that person then you should not get married in the first place. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE!

By Blue_Kolla

February 13, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Truth is hittin’ on all cylinders today. Dude, I couldn’t’ve said it any better myself.

By AmazonRed

February 13, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Truth - Thanks for the shout out. And you are so right about other women getting in line to do the job if his woman won’t.

I had a very successful co-worker who took care of home very well. The wife didn’t have to work. Yet, he’d come home, no hot plate, house not clean. He got rid of her and found him a real trophy wife. His ex is still mad an bitter. Of course, she’s living nice off the alimony tho.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 13, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

does it matter…gotta ^5 your post at 10:17.

My experience has been that, generally speaking, there seems to be more of an emphasis by women today on the socio-economic status of the man than on the shape of his character. As example of that is the substance of the majority of discourse that happens on this very blog. There’s no shortage of talk about the “what” and “how much” of the man, but not nearly as much in terms of the “who”.

Now, before ya’ll go ballistic, I’m not applying that mindset to every woman here. After all, I did emphaize that I was speaking in “general” terms. Nevertheless, it strikes me as odd that the internal qualities of a man seem to take a back seat these days to whatever physical and material attributes he brings to the table and whether or not those attributes meet what I call the “oatmeal test” (recommended daily allowance) of a particular woman.

By AmazonRed

February 13, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

LOL @ little “the truth”. Big “The Truth” is gonna get ya. LOL

By Tazzee

February 13, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

2can and another thing…no one is trying to tell a man how got be a man.

Now mind you - I’m taking Wise Diva’s questions literal. It appears that the following questions:

*What kind of dating advice do you think single guys need? What are common mistakes do men make in dating?

If a guy wanted to meet, date, and have a relationship with women, what “man laws” do think would help him?*

are posed to the general blog population. The following questions are posed to the ladies:

Ladies, do you think you can give a single guy a little insight on dating a quality woman? Where does he meet them? What appeals to her? What would make him stand out from the other suitors?

So it appears that the ladies-only questions relate to how to get us, but anyone in a successful relationship should comment on how to keep us.

By DreamsMaterialize

February 13, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

I see there are conflicting views about approaching women in public places. This just confirms my view that if you see someone you like, then take a shot. From the blog it seems the chances are about 50/50 that she’ll be receptive.

900 No doubt the gentlemen’s approach doesn’t get appreciated. I see it all the time. It’s as if the women feel you are obliged to do those things, but that they aren’t obliged to be appreciative. Not asking you to strip on the spot cuz I opened the door for you, but “thanks” or even a nod of acknowledgement would be nice. I guess it’s just how they was raised. lol

By Cemeeli

February 13, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

Tazzee it was um…let me see here (oh regular big pop)…i may need to make anouther batch. Looks like we LIVE today…LOL

By QC

February 13, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

^5 Tazzee

Hey Page

Demi, if you’re flying around today please wear your “navy blue rain resistant cap”

By Willie Dynamite

February 13, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

Morning All, Contrary to popular belief i think Women as a whole CAN give better advice to Men. Men don’t usually believe this or listen to whats being handed out. The problem is as someone stated above is that Women tend to be scatterbrained and offer many different examples. Women are very unique and complex creatures whereas Men are simple by nature.

By 2CPTG©

February 13, 2008 11:01 AM | Link to this

Tazz, I wish you could hear me saying this, cause apparently my point is getting lost - look at the line of questioning.

“Ladies, do you think you can give a single guy a little insight on dating a quality woman? Where does he meet them? What appeals to her? What would make him stand out from the other suitors?”

and as you just said, “the ladies-only questions relate to how to get us,”

That’s like saying, “dude, if you want me, then this is what you gotta do”!

Nah!

How about, young lady, this is what the deal is, you’re either with it, or you’re not, ‘cause this is me!

By Blue_Kolla

February 13, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

.02 When you obtain the #, put a memorable characteristic in your Cell/PDA. ie First Name: Jackie Last Name: Red Stilettos!, First Name: Simone Last Name: Publix Deli, First Name: Sally Last Name: Fat AZZ whateva… NEVER call & ask a lady to ‘remind you where you met her/ what she looks like, etc.’

hahaha True that.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 13, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

Mornin’ QC. ;-)

By Got that?

February 13, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

By the time people reach adulthood, whatever values were instilled in them or not while growing up will not change no matter the advice given. It’s way too late. The time to start teaching how to be in relationship is when they are young and their minds can be molded. All kids need to be taught respect, for themselves and others. They must be taught how to deal with others as another human who has the same rights as themselves. They must be taught values that will guide them the rest of their life.

Sorry, Wise Diva, this topic is another way women try to change men. The problem is no one can change anyone other than themselves, and that itself takes a lot of work. You want dating to get better, train the next generation to be better people. And, be the change you want to see in the world.

By AmazonRed

February 13, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Dreams - You just proved that men read/see what they want and not what actually is. Where did you get it was 50/50 that she’d be receptive? From what I see, ALL the women said they would be, only noting that she could be having a bad day (a given) and it matter how you approach (also a given). So who was not receptive?

By 2CPTG©

February 13, 2008 11:11 AM | Link to this

and, no, I’m not in a sour mood today, shoot, I like Diva’s topics……..

By mytwocents

February 13, 2008 11:13 AM | Link to this

P.S. By “good stuff” y’all know I don’t mean quality brands, I meant booty.

Dreams I find it delightful to meet men in ‘regular’ places - less posturing. Unless he’s super tactical, he didn’t come to Target & fill his cart just to prey on women. Now me in the Home Depot wandering around w/ one item in my hand, I’m pleading the 5th. lololol Truth Good lesson for both sexes ~ BE SELECTIVE and have your own blueprint. 2C If this isn’t flipped in the next coupla days, hijack the topic by Friday. Sometimes ya gotta start a revolution… 900 You’re right. I’m surprised by how many gentlemen are surprised when I say Thank You! Sorry, I know some of us are trife. :(

By 900K aka Mr 2008

February 13, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

Cee - oh yeah Gems are a great thing. How about you write sumtin for the ladies to take head to when being approached out in public when homie is not a scrub. I’ve approached women in the past only to have the lil girl in em come out and give me the gas face… whatever. But the crazy thing is 10-15min later they keep staring at me as if to say “Oh, I didn’t even realize it was you…” BTW, I’ve actually had a few women come out and say this to me

Blue what up homie! I know you got somethin to throw out there…

Dreamz -Yeah after I go thru that 3-4 times in a mo. or so the nice guy leaves for 6mo. and the jerk shows up LoL

ARed - you know what? you always know just what to say. I wonder if you act the same… if so then you got some dude walkin real tall round town.

By For Real

February 13, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

Truth You on point today bruh.

Wise Do you see all of the different comments today. How can a dude be expected to know when to apply these suggestions to a specific lady? Some say it’s okay to approach in the morning. Some say it isn’t. It impossible!

ARed However, step up be a man and stop letting this fact make you lazy. Do your job, so she will have no excuse not to do hers

I dont’ believe it is matter of men being lazy. I believe men have become more selective due to number of choices that’s available to them. If I am dating and looking for a SO then that means I will have to audition a few lady first. Thus I can’t court all of them in a manner that will exhaust my resources.

Oh and why does a man have to be a man first before a women does her job. That sounds like an excuse for the women not to be a women.

By Blue_Kolla

February 13, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

Darrell Now, before ya’ll go ballistic, I’m not applying that mindset to every woman here. After all, I did emphaize that I was speaking in “general” terms. <=== Nice Disclaimer

2 How about, young lady, this is what the deal is, you’re either with it, or you’re not, ‘cause this is me!

That’s where I’m at.

By Cemeeli

February 13, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

Darrell you show your CHARACTER. And i agree with your Part 1 @ 10:51.

Imma still go ballistic on that “oatmeal test” WTH?…

By QC

February 13, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

Hello Brother Darrell

By AmazonRed

February 13, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

900k - That was a nice thing to say. Thank you. My weeding out process is rigourous, so I lose a lot of them that way. But once he gets inside, he does seem to walk around with his chest puffed out a bit. My momma treated my daddy very well (and he her), so I think I picked up a few “feel good” tricks over the years. LOL!

By BennyB

February 13, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

2CPTG, you got a good point on your 9:54, women will only tell you what they want and that is not what men need to know. Men need to know what women respond to; trust me women don’t have a clue. If men want to know what women respond to, they need to seek advice from other successful men. If they want to become domesticated, they need to seek women advices. The mistake men make is trying to learn how to get women to respond to them instead of learning how to be successful not only with women but with life in general. Men need to learn about the most important individual in their life: the self. They need to learn to love themselves, to appreciate their life and to have a commitment to self. When you know the man inside you, love him and commit to him, it is easier not only to love and commit to someone else but also to spot damaged souls and avoid them. If a man knows and loves the creature inside him, he only needs one dating advice…..NONE

By AmazonRed

February 13, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

For Real - Oh and why does a man have to be a man first before a women does her job. That sounds like an excuse for the women not to be a women.

Brotha, if you don’t know the answer to that, then there is not much hope for you. Wow! Are you serious with that question?

By Raqi

February 13, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

You are wrong Falsey. That’s the problem you view women as the opponent. Dating and mating should not be a challenge or rivalry. It is not a challenge but in fact a merger. Before the merger of two like companies a period of wooing takes place. You get the other’s attention. You show why you would be good together. You do what appeal to their sense. You give them what they like. Not what you think they should have.

There is more I have to say but I am leaving for a lunch date in a few…

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

February 13, 2008 11:24 AM | Link to this

Blue Thanks, man. You know the deal. Somebody’ll read what I said, but they won’t comprehend it. Next thing you know they’re “assuming the position” as they commence to “get me told”. LOL!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

February 13, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

On the topic of when to approach women (or me specifically) I find open places easier b/c of how comfortable I am bound to be. Example, if you approach me and I am washing my car then I am truly kickin it! Hair in a ponytail, sweats or shorts on w/a wife beater, au natural and sneakers. To me that is better than the guy that will approach me when I am all ‘dolled up’. Plus generally you can see a lil about the person: if buying cds at Target you can see what music I’m into, if I am washing my car you see the car I drive or whatever. But I also like to see guys this way. I stated before I love to see guys in sleeveless t-shirts, sweats and sneakers like he is on his way to the gym or just got off the couch for a quick store run. (Of course it helps if he has a haircut and nice smile.) Does that make sense? Simple I guess is the best way to put it.

By kimmie

February 13, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

Dreams - You are correct in that it has a lot to do with how one is raised whether or not they will be appreciative and polite. Same applies with men. I watched how my brothers were raised and how other guys I grew up around were raised. My brothers were taught to always open a door for the ladies, whether she thanked him or not. Of course, I was taught to always say thank you. The GOOD MEN I know today still do it and so what if she does not appreciate it? The next one will. Where are you guys hanging out where the MAJORITY of the women can’t even say thank you? A true show of character in a man, IMHO, never allows the bad behavior of a few to change how he behaves. If he was raised to treat a lady like a lady and she’s not appreciative, then maybe she’s not the one. Or, maybe she could benefit from seeing how a real man treats a lady, because she’s never been exposed and therefore, does not know how to respond.

A pet peeve I have, 2C, is that it seems a lot of guys come with this this is me, take it or leave it type of attitude as an excuse for crappy behavior. Anytime a man said that to me, it was never associated with something positive about the man, always negative. For example, I’ve never heard a guy say “Hey I’m a gentleman, take it or leave it”! Simple example, but I think you can get my point. Believe me, I’m not trying to change anybody, so come with th