Misadventures in Atlanta

By Jazzyone

January 31, 2008 8:28 AM | Link to this

Morning ya. I have never dated anyone that died that I know of. I would think if it was someone that you were with at the time of passing it would be extrememly tough! I can’t add much to this topic but I can say that when one of my parents passes it will be tough for the surviving spouse…I don’t know how my parents would survuve without the other…it would be tough to get thru and with that thought I am feeling tears coming so ya have a nice day…can’t do death topics today…but a good topic never the less…

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 8:29 AM | Link to this

Morning, all. :-)

WD asked: “What happens when she decides to date again? It seemed like a drastic move to me. How can she ever really move on?”

I’ve never been in a situation where I lost a mate to death. However, I would think that the issue of “moving on” is more a matter of the mental than the material. In other words, this person having moved on (or not) is best evidenced by the aggregate of her behavior over time, not a one-time event like having her fiance’s name/image tattooed on her body.

Besides, when you consider the combination of the depth of her love for him (as proven by her getting the tattoo) and the fact that he ws taken from her so tragically, his image is already forever emblazened upon her mind and heart anyway, so, I wouldn’t say getting a tattoo is going to make it any more difficult for her to “move on.”

If anything, when/if she decides to date again, the mere fact that she’s decided to do so - in spite of having a visual reminder of her former fiance - would indicate to me as a man that she’s well on the road to overcoming the mental hurdles of such a tragedy and is now ready to move on.

That said, however, I would hope the guy she eventually meets would be mature enough to deal with the fact that the name/image of her former lover would be ever-present with them.

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 8:36 AM | Link to this

Good Morninga

I must give props to Truth & LL for yesterday’s posts. I was just able to go back and speed read the blog from Wednesday. Don’t let others encourage you all to stop dropping ‘jewels’ as you like to call it. Some of us welcome any real knowledege from the male POV.

Now back to your regularly scheduled blog topic

By QC

January 31, 2008 8:40 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers

Have a great day

www.blackthen.com

By Karin

January 31, 2008 8:51 AM | Link to this

I lost my boyfriend of 2 years in ‘01 when he was packing up to move in to my place. He was boxing up his guns when one went off striking him in the head. It was a freak accident and I didn’t know until work the next morning… everyone knew but me. That was something I didn’t think I was going to survive myself…The pain of grief was beyond anything I could’ve ever imagined…My heart physically hurt and I always thought if I had an x ray, they’d see it in a million little pieces. It took a couple months before I could even function like a normal human being. I eventually started having the most amazing dreams about him, almost every night. I looked forward to going to sleep bc I couldn’t wait to see him again…I still have my days after all these years, sometimes I’ll smell him, or I’ll think I feel someone standing behind me…I’m sure I’m crazy, but I take comfort in thinking he’s still with me…

By Rell

January 31, 2008 8:54 AM | Link to this

@SLIM…ya know it has been a minute since any female blogger as even stop to thank the men for giving ther POV..at one time couple seasons back 2canplaythatgame..ALWAYS dropped them..and other male bloggers gave sound advice that i still remember..but NOW not so much…thats why i said stop…but i digress

I never lost anyone in this way or dated anyone who has lost…i try to avoid those types..the emotions will linger for a long time regardless of the impact you have on them…

GOOD TOPIC CHOICE!!!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

Jazzy

Per your 8:28, my sister and I lost our father suddenly (heart attack) in 2002 and, ironically enough, we both had those same concerns of how one would “survive” without the other. They grew up together, were high school sweethearts and would have been married 46 years that September.

My mother has always been an incredibly strong woman so, as strange as this might sound, we think it was a blessing that my father passed away first (as oppopsed to the other way around). Nevertheless, I’m convinced she misses him terribly even all these years later. I don’t even have to ask her that (and I never have.)

By 2CPTG©

January 31, 2008 9:03 AM | Link to this

got me thinking of an old *UGK song….“One day you’re here, and then you’re gone”…..

Never had an SO die on me, but I’m sure it must be one helluva thing to deal with…like losing anything you love.

By "G" Dad

January 31, 2008 9:07 AM | Link to this

I lost my companion a few months ago and have not been able to get thru a day yet without some tears. Probably will never date, would not want to expose anyone to the person I am right now. Dealing with grief is the hardest thing I have ever done.

By Jazzyone

January 31, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this

As far as Gem dropping?? I’m sorry but I have to consider the source cause all advice/information isn’t worth the read…but glad some of it was….

By Alvin

January 31, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this

Rell that’s because women don’t believe half the things we say anyway…good or bad.

Darrell I am a fool wit-it, but even I don’t see myself hitting any thing that read: ‘Tyrone’, every night…Issssh, see me add ‘TATOO REMOVER’ into the bath water if she’s fine and my self image is low.

On topic

If I die, I expect her to cry for 5min and then F/K someone that night to get over it…wait, that sound like something I would do…never mind..

I am not even being funny…

Good Morning All

By 2CPTG©

January 31, 2008 9:14 AM | Link to this

wow…..thanks, Rell…ya know, I try to do my part, but it gets aggravating at times, so I try to stay somewhat tempered….and just drop bits and pieces of knowledge and let ‘em try to get it….

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 9:16 AM | Link to this

Question Why do you all think that when a couple is together for a long time, when one dies, the other seems to die shortly after? Anyone have any insight to this phenom or is it merely dying of a broken heart?

By For Real

January 31, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Rell That’s because women don’t believe anything a man says unless he is lying.

On Topic: Got nothing to say……..

Yet!

By Cocoa

January 31, 2008 9:18 AM | Link to this

ALVIN

SMH. THIS IS NOT THE TIME HUN.

By AmazonRed

January 31, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

Rell - You know the last time the female bloggers thanked men for their POV? YESTERDAY. I know that the new poster “Cherry” said thank you and I also thanked everyone for their candor. That included the men. Just because we argue and debate back and forth doesn’t mean folks aren’t taking in information. It just proves that folks really do engage in selective reading.

I see today is just gonna be harping on old stuff and playing that “they don’t listen” game. Boring. Played. Y’all be easy today.

By Rell

January 31, 2008 9:22 AM | Link to this

@2CAN…ya know how it was dawg..ya had to come correct before…it was some real talk going on daily….it was amazing..but i digress

@jazzy..the source…????…we are all a source of our experience…if we share then it comes from the world as it comes to us..nothing to figure out..some folks are you giving there testament..you may not like it..but i believe it to be true…you can get alot off your chest when no one really knows you

@slim….grief can kill you…hell i get severe chest pains when i am p** off or stress…hell just the other day a friend of mine got under my skin so bad..my chest got tight..thats when i knew that i need to chill on some things.

By 2CPTG©

January 31, 2008 9:25 AM | Link to this

Slim….good question, and yep, it is a phenom; granted, there’s been no scientific study to prove it, but imgaine losing a part of you (this ties into the biblical theme of becoming one); and I mean that literally, and figuratively…look what happened to Derwin Brown’s widow, she just went into a meltdown after he was killed…

By Jazzyone

January 31, 2008 9:26 AM | Link to this

Now this is a GEM and so true

By For Real

January 31, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Rell That’s because women don’t believe anything a man says unless he is lying.

On Topic: Got nothing to say……..

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 9:28 AM | Link to this

Alvin I see your point, man. I guess my point was that someone getting a tattoo doesn’t in and of itself mean it will be more difficult for that person to move forward. Much of it has to do with the intestinal fortitude of the person and their own desire to move forward with life.

Slim Your question on “dying of a broken heart” sort of ties in to my comment to Alvin about a person’s desire to continue to live.

I have no data to back this up, but I would offer that in certain instances where one person dies shortly after the loss of another, there is somewhat of a connection between the impact of that incident on a person’s desire to live and the hastening of their own demise soon after.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

2CPTG Good call on Derwin Brown’s widow. Perfect example, man.

By Tazzee

January 31, 2008 9:30 AM | Link to this

Morning all!

Karin Thanks for sharing with us. I can’t imagine losing a mate like that.

I did lose a boyfriend a long time ago. I was 18, so the pain is definitely gone but there are some residual effects. I always refer to this relationship as my fairytale. I’ll try to give the cliff notes version:

First saw him and was like ‘whoa’ when I was 16 at a basketball game. He played for the opposing team. Then about a year later, I saw him again talking to a friend of mine from church. I was just awestruck and wanted to meet him so bad but I didn’t have the nerve to say anything. Every time I saw him, I was with my best friend and she would joke me about not speaking to him. Then the day of my HS graduation, my older sister took my friend and I to this club (with our fake IDs). My friend and I were walking up the stairs and this guy grabs my arm and asks can he talk to me. I look up and it’s him. Of course I got all tongue-tied and I pointed to my friend and said ‘you mean her?’ He was like naw, I wanna talk to you.

That set off a whirlwind romance (as whirlwind as it could be for an 18 year old). We saw each other almost every day! He was home from college for the summer (one year older). Because we both had jobs, he would pick me up in the evenings and we would go riding around talking and stuff. We would always get back to my house and sit in the car and talk until the wee hours. Every time he left I would kiss him and say ‘don’t forget to roll the windows down and turn your music up loud so you’ll stay awake’ Well one night we actually fell asleep in the car. We both had to go to work the next morning, so when we woke up, I jumped out the car and ran in the house. Less than 2 miles from my house he got in a car accident.

He was in a coma for 2 days and died the morning after I snuck in the hospital to see him. His mother said that when I went to visit, it was the first time he opened his eyes. So we all thought he was going to pull through. I was devastated. I went off to college devastated, I thought I would never love again.

To this day, I am adamant about loved ones checking in with me when they travel. When someone is late or just doesn’t show up, I never say ‘he better be in the hospital or something!’ - it’s funny because the night Lawrence got in the wreck, we had argued earlier about him being late and I said the exact same thing.

The only other person I loved dearly that I lost was my grandmother. Since then, I always try to make sure the people I love know that I love them. I really try to seize every moment and not take time for granted.

Sorry for the long post folks!

By Jazzyone

January 31, 2008 9:31 AM | Link to this

Rell My statement was in regard to advise not experience…and with that I mean if some men can’t fight their way out of a paperbag, don’t have it together, constantly berate and abuse others verbally and the like, live an alternate lifestyle than mine and have the basics of protecting themselves, mentally, physically and emotionally then I could care less to read or ‘heed’ anything they spew on this blog but some of ya yeah I can relate and it doesn’t get lost in translation..

Im sure the feeling is mutual for some men in my regard and others info or advise….its all good..not hatin just my point of view…

By Skeeter

January 31, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this

Years ago, I had a boyfriend who committed suicide. I was devastated over how hopeless he obviously had felt. He left a cassette tape for me to hear after he was gone. Although I listened to that tape only once, I couldn’t bring myself to part with it for many, many years.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 9:32 AM | Link to this

Morning All

I’ve never lost anyone however I can relate to the fact that shortie went out a tatted her lost Husband to be on her. I can see myself going overboard if I lost a fiance or newleywed, the fact that marriage seems so distant, then to be blessed with someone for life only to loose them… Wow. I say she is strong for being able to keep his memory alive, while living her life to the fullest. Now could I have a serious relationship ship with a lady thats got another mans image on her??? No, just about impossible, however in her case I do completely understand and respect that.

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 9:33 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone!

Karin soorry to hear about your loss…WOW what a story.

900K hey u School Daze…oh!

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 9:34 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone.

SlimOne, thanks for this…Don’t let others encourage you all to stop dropping ‘jewels’ as you like to call it. Some of us welcome any real knowledege from the male POV. I would have said something along these lines if I hadn’t left early in the day.

By DasV

January 31, 2008 9:37 AM | Link to this

it must be one helluva thing to deal with…like losing anything you love.

aawwwww dayum. for me, that is the sobering thought in this topic. anytime you lose anything, it hurts BAD… . and in my opinion divorce is worse than death….cause with we hv no control with death… divorce is a decided choice not to be in someone’s life. for me suicide is the worse death, cause again there was a choice made…..

and much like the grieving process when someone dies, i grieved the loss of my marriage, my mate, our life together… there was anger, immense sadness, denial and acceptance.

i remember comparing it to my first island taste…. i had heard about someone going at a high rate of speed straight off the turn from the connector onto 20east. suicide was suspected, but the police ruled that he just failed to navigate the turn. a few weeks later, out clubbing, i ran into a mutual friend and asked about my boy from bermuda… and his faced dropped… and he took me aside and told me it was he who had died… i remember hearing cymbals, crashing waves in my head, and the earth stopped spinning and then suddenly started back up off beat, jerking me around causing my eyes to lose focus and i gasped at the thought that i too was mortal and so began my brief but absolutely love-affair with the spliff…. that was my Mr.Big. he got me through my divorce too.

By Actually

January 31, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this

I was just thinking about LaToya as she’s back to work today. I personally couldn’t come back this soon. I’m putting her biz out there in hopes of stirring some support/funds for her. Because as much as you guys banter I believe you are a carrying bunch. She’s a temp here. (And actually works for an azzhole. I would have been cursed her out.) Not making much AT ALL. So, if you are interested, I’ll find out where to send the $$$.

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 9:41 AM | Link to this

Rell grief can kill you I wouldn’t want to ever experience that. An ex of mine’s mother died while he was in elementary school around Christmas. Even to this day around that time of year he gets depressed really bad. I know that is his mom but it seems as if it would get easier with time. However, I’d probably be chilling somewhere with Britney Spears if i lost my mom. She had me when she was young, so we sort of grew up together in a way. I don’t want to imagine life w/o my best friend.

With regards to your chest getting tight, do you have high blood pressure?

2CPTG© You do have a point there with becoming one. Just goes to show the mind is such a powerful thing as well as having something to live for. It’s almost as if they are keeping each other alive and when one dies, they leave the physical world to join their loved one again in the spiritual world.

By Alvin

January 31, 2008 9:42 AM | Link to this

AmazonRed ladies on here are rare bleed, same as the guys…but most ladies really don’t listen. hell, one of my lady friend cuss my a$$ a good one for calling her man a punk for beating on her…things happens.

Coke-a-Coca hey…and what is SMH?

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

January 31, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

Morning All

I have never lost anyone that I have dated and I really cant imagine going through something like that.

I do have a friend though whose husband died and they had only been married 3yrs. I later told her that though I know she grieved that I admired her strength. The one thing she said that stuck with me was that she didnt grieve dramatically b/c her husband wouldnt have wanted that. But she also stated that there was no unfinished business b/w them. They had expressed their love to each other and she had no doubts about how he felt about her and vice versa. I will never forget that.

SlimOne I think dying of a broken heart does happen, moreso with those that have been together for a long time. My grandparents have been married for 60+ yrs and I honestly think that if one of them died the other would follow shortly. I know that is morbid but….

By Raqi

January 31, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

I never dated anyone that lost someone however I was on the end of losing someone. I have said it before on here but I lost my first husband. He was my first love and the father of my first born. I can tell you this that is one feeling that I will never forget. To this day one of my biggest fears is suddenly losing the one I love.

Mason told me once that he and his friend were planning to do some daredevil stunt and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. I told him if he dies I would kill him. I wasn’t having it. No matter how safe he tried to convince me that it was, I cannot imagine losing another mate to a tragic accident.

I could come to terms with him falling ill. That’s out of his and/or my control. But to just do something stupid and uncalled for and have him taken away from me…I would never…could never love again. My heart can’t take it.

Although one may try to conceal that inner fear, it does bear on your emotions when entering into a new relationship.

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 9:44 AM | Link to this

Sexyleggs i just gotta tell you…i re-read your leave early on yesturday post and want you to know that your giving & serving your neighbor will bless you sevenfold (that is just great). The WORD speaks about serving those that are sick, heavy laden, hungry, lost and/or unloved…we are blessed to also help others. :-)

By For Real

January 31, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

Slim I think it depends on the age of the couple. When my grandmother died, my Paw-Paw just seemed to lose the fire in his eyes. This was a man that would command respect when he walked into a room even at 88 yrs old. From my experience I believe my grandmother was my Paw-Paw spark that started his fire and without her no one not even his favorite grandson could re-light it.

For Real now giving Jazzy a wet Willy with extra slob.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli - Where ya been? So you went and listened to the song huh? Whatcha tink bout it?

By The Truth

January 31, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

My college buddy lost his wife to breast cancer a few years back. He has 2 daughters and constantly talks about how much they need her. She was the kind of mother that took pride in her children. His sister has filled in to some degree but his wife was another level, she was old school mom. He’s keeping on but it has defintely humbled him. Its obvious in everything he does and says.

GDad take the time to grieve and say goodbye then pick it up and keep on moving. If she loved you its what she’d want. Sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what your going thru.

Slim thank you.

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 9:48 AM | Link to this

You’re not crazy Karin.

By DasV

January 31, 2008 9:52 AM | Link to this

good morning good ppl

thank you 2CPTG for the topic, and blog bruthas we may not say it as often as you’d like, but we hear everyday cause you all hold it down. And ‘hearing’ you is not the same as ‘agreeing with every POV you have’. Trust. I listen with application in mind.

ForReal yesterday your skit shut me up… I saw immediately that Ok, that man mustve been feeling me and he had made the first move…. And Darrell you and * nine huuuuunndredK* got me to understand that insteada focusing on what the first move is/was, go with the flow… and Rell you and SJ certainly had me thinking I ought to adopt the ‘be about it’ mentality but I was comforted that even if I didn’t and stuck with my tried and true theTruth would work with whateva and I’d still be happy. i appreciate all that…. trust, thats why i am here… it aint to bicker, though i can get down and durtay. :)

By T-Mango

January 31, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

This is a good topic for my morning AJC read…

No, I have never lost anyone that I dated. That would be extremely difficult for me to deal with.

Nevertheless, life is very fragile. Too many of us take it for granted because we think we always have tomorrow. But, your tomorrow could be today. So, I think if you’re dating someone & you care for that person and/or love them you should appreciate them while you have the opportunity to. I don’t believe that we meet the people that come into our lives by accident. You meet them for a reason.

…So, if people take the time to stop jockeying for position, fighting over trivial ish in friendships/relationships and constantly trying to determine who’s dropped the best pearls of wisdom maybe you’ll learn the lessons that are being brought to you by using that individual as a conduit to increase your own self-understanding.

Have a great day-

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 9:54 AM | Link to this

Slim your 9:41 to Rell reminded me of this song by Steven Curtis Chapman called “What I Would Say” from his CD ‘Signs of Life’. It’s a song dedicated to his grandfather and if there’s any way you can either get the CD or stream it on the Internet, I encourage you to do so. This is a POWERFUL song.

What I Would Say

She was a lovely girl, a charming brown eyed beauty

You were the bright young man who swept her off her feet

The high school class ring soon became a wedding band

And you went off to sail the seas for Uncle Sam

But they say it was the demon in the bottle

That took you far away never to return

And you never knew your son would be my father

And now sometimes I think about you and I wonder

If I could talk to you what words would I choose

I would say I wish I could have known you

And I would say I wish you would’ve stayed

But most of all I would say I forgive you

I know your love was strong I read it in your letters

I read how hard you tried to break free from the chains

I know we all could say how you should have done better

And wear our anger and resentment like a fetter

But that’s why I would say this to you if I could

I’d love to tell you how the lovely girl you married

She’s been my hero and a treasure to us all

I know you’d be proud of the way your name’s been carried

These are things I would love to tell you if I could

I wish you were here to hear what I would say

(Instrumental fade)

By Raqi

January 31, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

Slimone My mom’s aunt died less than two months after her spouse. It is said that she grieved to death. I think that is possible.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

DasV Glad I could be of service. :-)

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

Thank you Cemeeli, helping others is a “high” for me. I thorougly believe in going beyond the call of duty to help others (if necessary). It takes so little to help another. So what I used 2 hrs of my PTO. In the big scheme of things what is PTO if you can’t use it for yourself and for others.

I’ll be lurking today, I don’t like to talk about death.

By Cocoa

January 31, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

KARIN

I AGREE, YOU’RE NOT CRAZY. HE IS THERE WITH YOU NOW. WHAT YOU SMELL AND FEEL IS REAL. DON’T IGNORE IT. TALK TO HIM AND LET HIM KNOW HOW YOU APPRECIATED HIM, ETC.

By C tha 1

January 31, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

Rell That’s because women don’t believe anything a man says unless he is lying. Damn For Real you spoke the honest to God truth with that one. ^5 bruh!

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 10:02 AM | Link to this

900K well….well…well…had me grinning for about 30min…and then i thought…THAT SUCKA!… i can’t wait to post him in the morning…lol!

I been under massa’s thumb the last couple dayz.

Hey Mo! Your friend is a strong woman.

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 10:03 AM | Link to this

Did any of you hear about the 7 year old boy that killed himself? He was found in his room with a belt around his neck. Earlier, he got in trouble at school for throwing a piece of chalk. Ryan Cameron mentioned it this morning

For Real Yeah, you mostly hear about that sort of thing happening with much older couples who’ve been together for a long time.

question Do any of you think you’d feel guilty trying to date again after losing a girlfriend, fiance, or wife?

By 6'1 & luvinit

January 31, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

Ahhhhh dayum, I would like to start off this post by saying good morning and thank you to everyone from yesterday that help me get thru my day. But here we go, I need to turn amy off, I really do. But when I did I put on Alicia and I lost my first love years ago. It hurt me so bad that I didn’t want to get out of bed for it seem like the entire year following. But it wasn’t an entire year, He died in September and I didn’t come out of the house until May of the following year. I know that this may seem a little drastic but I had a very tumultous adolescence and he help me get thru it. He was indeed my knight and shining armor and he made everything so worth while and when he died I thought that I wouldn’t be able to go on and he died so meaninglessly. He got killed in a club. But needless to say I did recover and he person that helped me recover was one of his best friends. He would check on me to make sure that I was alright and sit and chat, of course you know that he being my only key to the outside world besides the television, I fell for him and we becaume a couple. He filled my previous boyfriends shoes and made me realize that I could go on. Well to make my story even more morbid you guys he was murdered leaving my house and I watched everything happen. After that I felt as if I was cursed. I have a huge angel tattooed on my right shoulder with the both of their names and surrounding it says “Angels in Heaven watching over me”

By Tazzee

January 31, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

Raqi I thought about you on this topic. Losing someone I love is my biggest fear too. I don’t fear or worry about much. Honestly - there is nothing other losing a loved one that I truly fear. And its not just entering into a new relationship. I know I drive my single, living alone friends crazy but we HAVE to check in with one another regularly.

Wait, I lied, the other fear I have is me or my loved ones dying alone. That happened to two people I knew. Both lived alone and were dead in their homes for 3 days before anyone found out. When I’m working and doing things around the house, I am so careful! I was more careless when my friend and I lived in the same cul-de-sac, but here - if something happened to me on a Friday afternoon no one would know until Monday morning.

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

I have never lost a romantic loved one. I have an ex that I dated one summer I spent in SC that was killed in a car accident a few years ago. When I saw his brother after the fact, I was shocked and deeply saddened. Then right before I moved to ATL I found the letters and pictures he sent me when I went back home to NY. We lost contact after I garduated high school. But I still think about him.

GDad if you really want to honoor her memory…do it by living life. She would not want you to stop because she is no longer here. You will always love her. My girl’s fiancee was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got shot and killed. Mind you he was about to be drafted into the NFL and everything…so they had a great life ahead of them. She got a tattoo in memory of him. It’s been so many years and of course she misses him. But life does not stop.

Karin I feel you on that. I always tell my loved ones call me or text me when you get home. That way I know you made it. Things happen so quickly that you have to be that way. My mami still calls me every morning to make sure I am still breathing. She fears my nocturnal asthma will get me. Do you think that now when you date that your are even more adament about someone calling and being on time because of this?

Sexyleggs girl you are a good person…taking care of your neighbor like that. God Bless!

Tazee wow girl!

By melo

January 31, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

ALVIN SMH. THIS IS NOT THE TIME HUN-Cocoa*

I see we in serious funeral mode @proceeding in single file procession today.I will be tender today! good morning all

By Willie Dynamite

January 31, 2008 10:08 AM | Link to this

Morning All,

not much on topic I can say as I’ve never been through it. Can’t imagine the grief. I do agree with some other posters regarding the will to live. IMO- It seems that once youv’e lived a full life and your SO passes then it would seem to be the right tim to mentally and emotionally call it a day. That’s real love right there. That’s something that has grown and cultivated for many many years.

By Rell

January 31, 2008 10:10 AM | Link to this

@Slim..no high blood here…its just i am so happy go lucky that when i get mad…i stay mad for days…and i am extra irated over lil things until i calm down…i have an anger management problem that i constatly struggle with when i do angry…thats why

By QC

January 31, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Alvin/Demi

Will you 2 be flying through during the Super Bowl Halftime Show

By Jill

January 31, 2008 10:13 AM | Link to this

I guess the men are speaking from their personal experience, because they lie so much? Otherwise, you are talking about all women. If you think that all women don’t listen to men unless they are lying, I really can’t trust your wisdom. There is no such thing as “all women want…” or “all women feel”, same as with men, stereotyping like that is dangerous and does nothing for closing the chasm between the genders.

How about we get out of the business of slapping labels like that on people?

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

See **6”1”, you have me crying over here.

My biggest fear in life is me leaving this earth before my daughter can take care of herself.

By The Truth

January 31, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

If I was with a mate for 46 yrs and she passed I’d be ready to take it home too. At some point you lose the will to fight, to keep going on without someone you’ve shared the majority of your life with. I look at my neighbors I’ve told you about and think they’ve been together over 40 years or basically my whole life. Thats amazing. Btw, she doesn’t have a wrinkle on her. Anyway, at some point I would say I’ve done everything a man can do on this earth and its time to move on. Wouldn’t be out of fear or anger but its “just time”. We can replace homes and cars and clothes but never 46 years. Thats just amazing.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 10:19 AM | Link to this

Slim About the 7-year old boy, yes, I’d heard about that, but I didn’t know it was a suicide. Not trying to plug my Web site, but it’s tragedies like this which moved me to create the site to begin with. To think that a child of 7-years old could be under such stress that he would opt to take his own life is serious business, ya’ll.

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

There are some very deep and emotional stories posted so far, Wow!…you are here to tell it and in your ‘right/sane’ mind (some stories like the posted have taken ppl over)…even being able to share the stories about the life and love of your SO can be hard. I hope even with this topic that can very well possibly bring up old pain/grief about our lost loved ones that we stay lifted and celebrate their lives.

By melo

January 31, 2008 10:22 AM | Link to this

6’1 & luvinit fake,ignore this pest!

By DasV

January 31, 2008 10:25 AM | Link to this

GDad and Karin and six1 i am very sorry for your loss. i hope you continue to cope and thanks for sharing…..

TAZZ you highlight the whole ‘not being missed’ fear. ive had those questions: would i be missed? have i contributed to ppl lives in a real and positive way? am i genuinely appreciated or just dependent on??

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

6”1 girl that is something I would only expect in a movie! WOW! I am sorry mami. You should NEVER listen to Amy again. I do not want to read about you on the news? As I mentioned yesterday…do you shop to fill a void? Maybe that is your vice to fillthe pain of losing not 1 but 2 lovers to murder. Did you ever go see a grief therapist? After my grandpa died I went into depression. But it took a over a week for it to sink in. I sang at his funeral (never shed a tear), thanked everyone for coming ( I mean I was in straight Bree mode, for those of you who watch Desperate Housewives). While everyone was inside the church eating, I felt I had to go to the end with him so I watched as they lowered him and I talked to him as the covered the grave. Still did not sink in until I returned to NY and felt his presence in my apartment. I then had to deal with the fact that that would be the only way I would still have him. It hurt like hell and then I broke down. I had to seek help because I was so depressed about it. Till this day I feel May 23rd is cursed fo me because 2 years prior to that I was in a bad accident with an 18 wheeler on that very day.

By kimmie

January 31, 2008 10:28 AM | Link to this

Actually, the man I am seeing lost his wife in Aug 06 to cancer. I also lost my father that same month/yr. He has 2 young children & an older teenager he is raising on his own now. I’ve dated men with kids & divorced, but never a widower. We are taking it very slow, especially with the kids. He is a wonderful guy and I feel very priviledged to have met him and know him. He is handling it all so well and I tell him that often. It makes all this BS that everyone talks about that goes on in relationships look just like that - BS! Most men I know would never be able to handle what he’s had to with the grace and dignity. He’s more than just my lover, he’s my hero.

Even though I’ve never lost a spouse or SO, I lost my mother in 96 to cancer. I lost my youngest brother in 98 to a car accident. He was a 2nd year medical resident in Tampa. My father had a stroke in 99 & passed in 06. I was his major caregiver from 99 on. Needless to say, I’ve dealt with death more than I care to, because before Mom I’d never really had anyone that close die. I don’t take life for granted anymore, and it in turn I cannot allow any man to take me for granted. Lifes too short.

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

My folks are planning a huge party for my Grandmother. She’ll be 70 this St. Patrick’s day. My grandmother has never been married but wears a wedding band on her ring finger. (I have no clue why) She had seven kids, 5 girls & 2 boys. The 5 girls had one father (white dude) and the boys by a black man. I think she really wanted to be with the girls dad but in Alabama back in those days, it wasn’t safe to do so. He had Klansmen in his family. However, he would often come over to spend time with them, bring groceries etc. (He owned a little corner store) When he died my mom and aunts didn’t allow any of us to go to the funeral because they weren’t sure what would go down being that many of his family didn’t know he had 5 daughters by a black woman.

Family history can be a trip can’t it. And no, I have no idea why I posted all of this

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 10:36 AM | Link to this

The only thing in my past that is close to todays topic. Waaayyy back when (10yrs) I had a BUDDY type of relationship with a nice girl, we would get up quite often I’d show up late she’d sneek me in the crib… I could tell that she was really into me and wanted to take it much further but me being young and dumb it never happened. I remember introducing her to my friends on several occassions and they would even ask me why I’m not trying to get serious w/ her and I had no answer. Well fast forward 5-6 years and I’m living here going back home to visit and I see her out at the club. We talked for a minute, and she looked the same. Nice shape, GREAT smile and still nice as could be, and I remember having a thought of …why did you stop talking to her again?

No more than 2 weeks later I get a call from back home and my man tells me that she was killed by her crazy boyfriend who shot her then shot himself. Although it does not compare to the stories I’ve read here, I do tend to blame myself for not treating her better so at least she would have not tolerated some dumb azz jerk in the future.

DasV - hey I do what I can do… when I can do it…

Cemeeli - I knew you would enjoy it… Ha Ha Suckaaaa! , I still have yet to get it on file myself but it is still playing in the back of my mind.

By For Real

January 31, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

Jill guess the men are speaking from their personal experience, because they lie so much?

Don’t start your POV with an oxymoron, it makes it difficult to follow you.

Oh and did you know when you are typing your breast jiggle?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 10:38 AM | Link to this

Staceye “Till this day I feel May 23rd is cursed fo me because 2 years prior to that I was in a bad accident with an 18 wheeler on that very day.”

I can relate to you as far as a particular date having significance in your life. Case in point, May 21 is the date for me as I married, divorced and lost my father all on that same date, believe it or not.

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 10:42 AM | Link to this

Slim that is a move too girl…your family all jacked up like mine! LOL

Kimmie girl I am sorry for all your losses mami.

900 that is a messed up situation that you had no control over. She probably would have still ended up with that fool..you just could have part of his massacre. So count your blessings papi.

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

June 21st is my memorable date. I was in a car accident. I was the driver and the car in front of me stop quickly (Lakewood Freeway) and I swerved to avoid hitting him. Overturned the wheel and slammed into a lady leaning in her trunk on the side of the road. Both her legs had to be amputated. I struggled for a long time behind that!

By Tazzee

January 31, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

6’1 Lady, you have been through it. I’m sorry you’ve had to suffer through so much grief - healing is on the way.

DasV Oh no, I’m not worried about being missed. My fear is a little more morbid, like bleeding out and suffering for a while before I go. I’m not fearful of not being missed. When I lived in ATL - my closest friends and I always knew what the other was doing. Outside of work hours - 3 hours couldn’t go by that we didn’t know what was going on. We were family like that.

Here, I have a co-worker that has a key and she knows that if I’m not at work by 10am and I haven’t called in to my admin, then she’s on her way. But one Saturday I was changing a lightbulb and almost slipped off the ladder. It was one of those instances where I thought, dang if I bust my head, no one will know for at least 48 hours.

hope this isn’t a double post

By For Real

January 31, 2008 10:49 AM | Link to this

Darth Vador: Slimmmmm I am your father!

Slim realizes for the first time the true purpose of her CT.

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 31, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

Melo, What r u talking about?

By Alvin

January 31, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

QC who is this demi y’all keep mentioning? Where is he?

Demi: I AM RIGHT HERE IGGA

I am working sweetie, so no flying for us, I meant me.

Melo I think its good to talk about death’n’relationship now and then…it helps kept us sober.

Raqi girl, I am so glad I’ve got most of my death defying stunts out of the way.

On a positive note, I currently have ZERO points on my license…Now going shopping for a new gixxer thou

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

Darrell um…. dayyyyyum son! I would dread that day too! Somethign about May huh?

By Jill

January 31, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

Oh and did you know when you are typing your breast jiggle? Classy!!

Typical response from you, isn’t it?

If the someone on the blog can toss out a comment and then it is challenged, don’t get mad when the ignorance of the comment is highlighted. If you in fact know that women only listen to men that lie to them, back it up with how you arrived at that conclusion. Otherwise, you are just typing dumb stuff for shock value. It’s embarrassing.

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 10:54 AM | Link to this

900K your story is becoming WAAAYYY to common. I had a friend that died at the hands of a crazy EX about 2 years ago here in the ‘A’. It was all over the news (Snelville/Gwinnett). Her name was Tammy Gilbert (the story is in the AJC archives) He killed her in her home she also has a son who was at home when the invasion happen. I still bothers to really talk in depth about it. But i celebrate her…and lil G he’s doing fine.

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 31, 2008 10:55 AM | Link to this

You know that death is really a hard pill to swallow, but I am a person that has experienced it so much in my life time especially the last past 15 years, that I have somewhat grown accustomed to it. Like on Tuesday when it was my b’day I was thinking about all of my friends and family that mean the most to me are dead and that if they were here my b’day would have been different. I struggle with the lost of those that I love but I keep on keeping on and maybe I shop to feel this void or maybe I tattoo myself to fill it also, but whatever it may be I am still here. I am strong and I think the most high for the strength that he has bestowed upon me because I have known people to lose the one they love be it from them walking away from them or death and they either kill themselves, die of a broken heart or lose their mind. So again I am very thankful for the strength that I have.

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

Sexyleggs whoa girl! That is deep!

By The Truth

January 31, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

Darrell this is the worst part of these wimp assed fellas out here. If the man isn’t there to carry the burden and lead the responsibilty is handed to the woman and then the kids. A 7 yo has limited resources to deal with some of life’s curves. We’re built to take it but their not. This is what happens. Its a ripple affect.

Also, speaking of death is good because the truth is we wont be here forever so the goal should be to enjoy “every day” likes its your last. If there’s something you really want go get it. If there’s someone that needs to be exed today is a great day to do it so you can start healing and getting to the good stuff in life. Even if something turns out not like you thought it would you’ll be better for going for it. Failure can only occur when you quit.

Slim we may be related. When I was in germany a family member on my mothers side was dying and came to meet the family before going. Apparently something was going on that was less than predicted and alot came out and everyone moved on. I heard about it years after I got back to the states but seems like theres some skeletons in the closet. LOL

By Raqi

January 31, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

Tazzee 2 Miles from your house? That’s the devastating part there. When you have just spoken to someone and then to hear just like that they are gone. I can definitely relate to that.

And yeah death is hard no matter what the nature of the relationship, family, friend or spouse.

I think it is really sad when you are not missed for days. I talk to 2 of my friends every day. Even if I didn’t have Mason I have these friends.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 11:02 AM | Link to this

Truth Many ^5s on your 10:57. You nailed it, man.

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 11:04 AM | Link to this

Slim (to DarthVadar): You can’t possibly be my father.

DarthVadar: And why is that my child?

Slim: Because I was a test tube baby created as a result of stem cell research.

DarthVadar passes the f/k out due to the hot garbage grease smell of his own breath inside the mask

By kimmie

January 31, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

Staceye- Thanks, girl. Like I said, I just don’t take life for granted anymore. Stuff like that makes you grow up real quick!
Leggs - I am sorry about your accident. I got hit from behind by a tractor trailer in Aug 05 & I am blessed to be here. When people see pictures of the car I was in they are amazed I came out with only minor scratches & a stiff neck. To this day, I get nervous when a truck is behind me. But I know what hurts you most is the lady that was hit. That’s tough. You are really being a blessing to your neighbor and I know that makes you feel as good as you are making her feel:)

By For Real

January 31, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

Jill Yep! I have a picture of your breast jiggling if you think I’m lying.

Oh and in your post you questioned if men lie (men = all men) due to their experience. That’s called generalization or sterotyping, then you moved on in your post to say “There is no such thing as “all women want…” or “all women feel”, same as with men, stereotyping like that is dangerous and does nothing for closing the chasm between the genders.”

Just trying to understand you that’s all. Oh and don’t be embarrased you have some nice breastates.

By IslandGirl

January 31, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

Morning everyone…

G Dad…hang in there. I pray for God’s grace over your life as you go through this time in your life. Remember this is a time. Once you accept your loss and decide to live life, the veil of grief will slowly lift. Take care.

By Tazzee

January 31, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

6’1 Every day that God allows you to see means that He still has a purpose and a plan for your life. It also means that He’s giving you another chance to get this thing called life right.

Every day - I thank God for seeing another day because of the above.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Staceye - Thanks for the uplift but I still feel like crap just thinking about it. She was real quiet and shy so she just rolled w/ the flow, never had “the talk” but I could just see it in her eye… exactly what she wanted.

Cemeeli - yeah unfortunately this situation is very common especially up-top in my home town. These dudes now-a days are weak hearted punks who cant keep their emotions in check! The worst part is you know they’re treating these girls like shyt the whole time and cheating on them. Then do sumtin like that when they sense that she’s movin on. That right there.. makes me wish there is a H3ll just for them dudes.

Wow Wise, thanks to this topic you’re bringing the blog fam closer 2gether… No fights today!… I love everybody!!!

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

Yeah Staceye, it is deep. I remember reaching home and opening the freezer door to get some ice. I just kept my head their crying amongst the ice cubes. I remember her to this day and on that day I say out loud “Ms.__, I’m so sorry! (21 years later)

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

900K ur so cool…luv you to darlin.

By Jill

January 31, 2008 11:15 AM | Link to this

For real…wow! So is misogyny like your FAVORITE pastime or what? the FIRST part of the comment was rhetorical and used to make the point. Please stop responding, you really are making yourself appear less and less credible.

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

Truth & Staceye You’d probably be surprised all the skeleton’s in your own families closet if you dug deep enough.

I also found out one of my grandmother’s brothers’ kids stabbed and killed him. I can’t remember the story behind it though. She was one of 12. Back then seems like all folks did was get their skeet skeet on…but nowadays, I guess folks do the Ole Pull-n-Pray

By DasV

January 31, 2008 11:16 AM | Link to this

Tazzee wow. that is kinda morbid… that is why nana always said to wear clean panties… cause you never know what may happen. trynna inject some humor

By mytwocents

January 31, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

Karin & Tazzee Bless your hearts, hope sharing was a lil therapeutic. Your stories are good reminders to watch what we’re sayin’ sometimes - never know how close it hits. That’s why I hate jokes about cancer.

By Tazzee

January 31, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

Raqi - I still talk to my friends daily. I think I need to give the number of my co-worker to my friends just in case. But honestly, when that fear rises up, I have to remind myself that I’m not going before my time - it’s all in God’s hands.

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 31, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

I am one of the ones who made it out of the hood. I lost a lot of my friends who I growed up with. Death is very common there. This past summer I had two friends that were murdered in separate incidents and this song makes me think about them. My best childhood friend killed himself because the girl who he was in love with left him for someone else. I was just with him the night before and he was fine, we had a good time that night and the next morning he saw her riding down the street with the guy in the car that he bought her and he went into the house and blew his brains out. He had a newborn baby that was just born two days prior so till this day I still wonder about that. But to say the least how can we get accustomed to death.

By Demi

January 31, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

900K I can relate to your story very well…maybe you would have made a difference or may be you would have not.

Jill more like…Being honest and speaking from the heart will always be met with more skepticism than a lie ever will.

One just hurt more in the long run.

Melo Sometimes I think to myself, most women feel men are nothing but liars anyway, why even bother with the truth?

sexy wow, that suck…that’s life for you.

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 11:26 AM | Link to this

kimmie my sister got hit by a tractor trailer from behind a few years ago. To this day she gets nervous whenever she drives by one…or speed up by it, is more like it. Her car was totally tore out the frame. She still get back spasms, aches and pains…the company ended up settling out of court.

Settlmemt: $100,000

Lawyer fee: $70,000

Medical fee: $20,000

Money spent while out of work: $19,991

Money left: barely enough for a McRib Meal & one Trojan Condom

By mqew

January 31, 2008 11:32 AM | Link to this

Mornin peeps.

I’ve never had a SO pass. My grandmother passed a few years back. She was 82. Her and my grandfather were married at the age of 15 and 16. He remarried later that same year.

My SO says he’ll haunt me if somethin happens to him and I remarry. I’m like, thas cool. I’ll know it’s you so I’ll be able to ignore you. I told him he can’t go nowhere cause we only have $150K on him. WTH I’mma do wit that? Note to self - need to call benefits office to see about increasing spouse life insurance policy

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

Tazzee “I have to remind myself that I’m not going before my time - it’s all in God’s hands.”

Excellent point, which is why I never buy into the thought that someone dies “before their time”, because their - and our - “time” on this earth has already been predetermined. So, regardless of the circumstances, whenever and however I leave this world will be because God has willed it so. Simple as that.

By C tha 1

January 31, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

Jill, I really had a long post for you in reponse to your questioning of For Real’s 9:17 post. But for the sake of brevity I’ll simply say that many women over analyze way to much and tend to miss when a guy is actually telling the simple truth. Do men lie? Of course. Do women lie? Certainly. But one cannot let their past jade their respective POV to the point of not giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Many times when dealing with women a dude walks into the batter’s box with one strike against him.

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 11:35 AM | Link to this

Slim the truck that hit me..the driver fell asleep. So when he hit me my car spun..then he hit the other side and it spun in the other direction and then got stuck under the truck and dragged the car until it came a loose and spun out to the ditch on the side of the road..I was driving to VA from NY. It happened in VA. Just like your sis I get nervouse when i drive near them I will speed up to pass them. I am afraid of the blow outs so I do not ride behind them either. I have Truck-o-phobia! LOL

By For Real

January 31, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

Slim Money left: barely enough for a McRib Meal & one Trojan Condom -

That’s funny. Too bad your sister doesn’t Blow

Jill In honor of Wise and that lovely four course meal last night (For Real winking at Wise) I will not respond to you…..

until after lunch.

By Demi

January 31, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

6’1 do you have a feeling he was murder?

DasV Hell ya…I remember after getting shot and driving myself to Grady…I was thinking: Well, at lease my drawls are clean.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 11:41 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli - See thats what I’m talking about… Unity! in the spirit of go-get it hit me 900k.n.up@gmail.com Also I am very sorry about your freind her son has to go on w/ out mom cuz of that crazed chump. Was he the father?

Slim - thats always why I am quick so say that I aint looking for no settlement from a car wreck. Pains for the rest of my life are not worth $100-300k.

6’1” -yeah the hood has lost many family members to nonsense. Its sad because thats where most of the best people on earth come from.

By kimmie

January 31, 2008 11:45 AM | Link to this

Slimone Yes, that is about the same for me! It was clearly the trucker’s fault, a cut & dried case, but the trucking company was lowdown & tried to offer pennies in a settlement. Even with the family cut I got, the attorney took a big chunk and after everything I did not have much left.

By Demi

January 31, 2008 11:47 AM | Link to this

C tha 1 DUDE!! One strike, try bottom of the 9th, 0-0, 2 strikes 3 balls and bases loaded…and all eyez on you..On date one!!

Slim I hate the fact my family refuse to address our skeleton…Fed-Up, I told them fools, I’ll be at my funeral or their, before we see each other again!!

I’ve remove my heart and hands from this current generation.

By DasV

January 31, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

darrell under that logic, if a cement block falls from a building and someone is killed, no one can sue cause it was that person’s “time”. i mean what you are really saying is God is to blame for the 7yr old that committed suicide…….what???

By The Truth

January 31, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

C tha 1 co-signing that 1133 with 2 snaps and a twist. Said so well. you have inspired me to shorten my sometimes long azz posts. Well said. The flip side is most men dont meet women with a pre-conceived notions. We take her for whatever she brings to the table.

Jill would For Real be more credible if he responded like “you” want him to? (Now ending post for affect)

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 11:48 AM | Link to this

Mqew you crazy girl…but yeah up that policy!

By 6'1 & luvinit

January 31, 2008 11:49 AM | Link to this

I really don’t know, I have always wondered, you have so much good going on in your life to just take it out like that over a trifling azz biatch. I mean come on now. Tears are in my eyes as I think about it. He just had a son that was born two days before. Women come and go. I just feel as if it was more to that.

By QueDogTeaching

January 31, 2008 11:50 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Said while not only being able to blog, but blogging all early.

On-Topic Personally, I don’t want to date anyone who has been through any recent harsh personal tragedies. I once met this fine lady while I was in college. I talked to her a number of times, until she finally divulged that a former lover had died while “on top of her.” My first thought was that’s some coochie that she can keep. But, what about the mental aspects of a man dying while in the act. I have also known a young lady who divulged that she had been molested as a child, by a close family friend. There was still mental scar tissue. So things such as being in a past abusive relationship, one where the boyfriend has died, where there has been sexual abuse (molestation, rape), is something I don’t think I want to do. But that’s just me.

By Toxic

January 31, 2008 11:51 AM | Link to this

How about watching your then (ex-boyfriend) kill himself in front of you & u being part of the reason…How about the guy u were with before him went crazy sort of speak when u left him to be with the guy who killed himself…How about the guy u are with now is planning to relocate here & now U dont know if u really want him too…I think I will become a NUN…

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 11:55 AM | Link to this

Das There is distinct difference between God “causing” something and God “allowing” something. Two completely different things, so your ‘cement block’ analogy doesn’t apply. You can’t blame God for somebody being negligent or stupid. Yes, God allowed that 7-year old to take his life, but He (God) shouldn’t be blamed for it.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

Dear hearts let us sing

Somebody oughta testify OH somebody oughta testify Say for God I’ll live; for God I’ll die Somebody oughta testify

Let the blog say YeaMan!

-Truth stand by with the collection plates.

By Jill

January 31, 2008 11:57 AM | Link to this

No. I doubt it, he just seems like a moron whenever he tries to argue. It’s a classic move to deflect your lack of verbal skills with women by targeting comments about her body. If I were to take a wild guess, I would say he is dominated by women in his real world, thus he takes every opportunity to make women inferior to him. If I had his address, I would send him a check for some therapy - but enough with my armchair psychology. What do I know?

By melo

January 31, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli - See thats what I’m talking about… Unity! in the spirit of go-get it hit me 900k.n.up@gmail.com 900k, where are ur ethics dawg?U wanna capitalize on Cemeeli’s grieving& tears to get a hk up? Blog fam Ur entries are all deep.Im lurking on this one coz im soft on death.

By For Real

January 31, 2008 11:58 AM | Link to this

Phone sex with Jill……..

Dude: Hey baby what are you wearing?

Jill: Clothes!

Dude: Ohhh yeahhhh, are you wearing a bra?

Jill: Yes underwire why?

Dude: What? Ummmm.. Ummm that’s what I’m talking about, what kind are panties are you wearing

Jill: Hmmm some underwear

Dude: What kind of underwear? Let me guess some thongs or some boy shorts

Jill: Actually they are full coverage draws and they useta be white but now they are like beige.

Dude: WTF!!

Jill: Yeah, I keep these around to wear when I run out of draws and I can get at least 2 days of wear out of them

Dude snatches the phone out of the wall.

By Rell

January 31, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

@TOXIC…you need jesus….that is just tragic……

By Jazzyone

January 31, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

Ive met plenty of men who have preconcieved notions when they meet a chick…

By The Truth

January 31, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

Fellas, get the fire extinguishers ready. Toxic is holding the heat. LMAO (Not making fun of your situation Toxic but you got that fire)

QDT that reminded me of a chick that said (and this is the truth) she slept with her father as a woman to keep him from cheating on her mom. Apparently she caught him and this is the agreement they came up with. WOW

DAs you can sue but when its time its time. The lawyer can collect after the fact.

By Poppa Grande

January 31, 2008 12:01 PM | Link to this

Good Morning to you all…

I haven’t had to deal with the death of a loved one personally. I have had a few friends that have done so.

WD, we probably at least know the same people. I also know a female that lost her fiance weeks before the wedding and she ended up getting a tattoo. As fate would have it, she lost her man on the day that she sent out the invitations for the wedding. I actually still have mine.

The others friends were young ladies who died at the hands of breast cancer. One was 28 and married with 3 kids. The other was 31 and married with 2 kids. In each case, the young ladies were in good shape which according to the doctors (as explained to me by their husbands),that they were in such good shape that the cancer spread throughout their body extremely fast. (I thought that was a sad thing in itself).

By Raqi

January 31, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

A 7 year old taking his own life is nothing but the works of Satan himself. At that age a child doesn’t have a care in the world no matter what the situation may be. Evil and corruption has started to enter the minds of the human race at a much younger age now.

By Alvin

January 31, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

LOL@Jill taking the high road…

QDT dude you have me rolling over here…I’ve heard that a few time…those suger daddies have a point

*God, if I am old and unmarried, I pray to die in some fine young puddy8

By Alvin

January 31, 2008 12:05 PM | Link to this

LOL@Jill taking the high road…

QDT dude you have me rolling over here…I’ve heard that a few time…those suger daddies have a point

God, if I am old and unmarried, I pray to die in some fine young puddy

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

No disrespect, but right now your name seems to fit you Toxic. WOW!

I liked the phone sex skit only because you guys are funny when asking “whatca wearing always followed by “do you have panties on”. Too funny!

By Rell

January 31, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

FOR THE MEN - GO HERE…good stuff

www.stopsimpinmovement.com

we have to stop this killing one self over a women

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

Que that’s some coochie that she can keep my sentiments exactly dude! That is some lethal lovin’! LOL

But seriously..you wouldn’t date a woman who was molested or raped? That a lot of women! It’s bad enough when you are molested you feel like it’s your fault. So sometimes you never tell. But then that bothers you as the years go by and comes back to haunt you when you least expect it. I speak from personal experience. The first time it happeend to me I was 5 and it was at the hands of my grandparents’ family friend’s 19 year old son. I was best friends with his 5 year brother when I went to SC in the summer. I never told anyone because I was hurt physically and emotionally and just plain out shocked. I thought I did something bad and he punished me. So for years I blocked it out and actually lived as if it never happened. But it started to replay in my dreams and I remembered that it really did happen. It was no nightmare! But even to this day I feel strange when I tell I guy what happened to to me for the fear of him thinking like you. So maybe you shouldn’t be so hard on a woman for something that was no fault of her own.

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

900K no dude was not my friend’s son father THANK GOD! That’s who he is living with now. BUt the mere idea of knowing, who, how and when n where your mama was killed is heavy.

…lets change THIS subject pls…

By 6'1 & luvinit

January 31, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

Do you think that someone could lose their mind if their heart was broken???????

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 12:12 PM | Link to this

melo - 1st off let me applaud you for Tryin to throw me under the bus…LoL Ethics??? from You?? Aint you late for a lunch episode of Melo cheatin on his WIFE??? Yeah you thought you put me on blast put not really see eveything I type on here is public info so… big deal. Now please go home to your unsatisfying marriage… SUCKA!!!

By 2CPTG©

January 31, 2008 12:13 PM | Link to this

Raqi…..“At that age a child doesn’t have a care in the world no matter what the situation may be. Evil and corruption has started to enter the minds of the human race at a much younger age now.”

come on, oh learned one, Cain and Abel weren’t adults! shiiid, look at Chuckie j/k….but satan/sin has no age restrictions….

By DasV

January 31, 2008 12:15 PM | Link to this

darrell alright. i didnt think you were blaming HIM… had to ask though. we on the same page.

Truth you and Demi killin me wit the humorous side of things.

Raqi i agree. the world is snowballing into some no good.

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 12:17 PM | Link to this

For Real That’s funny. Too bad your sister doesn’t Blow Whatcho muthafuggin mouth! said while slappin the p* outta 4Real*

Stace Did you get a settlement too from that accident, that sounds horrible?

kimmie My sister was sitting at a red light and the truck driver wasn’t paying attention at all and WHAM! Right in the kissa

900 The thing about not settling out is it can be years before you ever see anything from all the time spent in court. If you have patience and money, by all means go for it. A friend of mine grandfather was sick in the hospital. He had to have a blood transfusion but they gave him the wrong blood that ultimately killed him. You know they got some millions from that.

Demi I told them fools, I’ll be at my funeral or their, before we see each other again!! All i can say is life is too short dude. I get frustrated at my folks at times because i have an aunt that lives right in Rockdale county near to me but she doesn’t associate with the family. It’s been so many years since whatever happened went down, that I think she’s gotten so use to NOT communicating with us that

To me all that bullshyt is just bullshyt. it should be squashed and go on business as usual.

QueDog There are more females than you realize that have been molested by a family member. I’m sure whether you knew it or not, you’ve probably dated many of them.

Slim steps into the middle of the circle

Hi, my name is Slim and I was molested as a child.

Group Members: Hiiii Slim!

By The Truth

January 31, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

900 I’ll work the plate but I’m in for 30% and I work with Das so she gets a cut too. Nevermind, I’ll split mine with her.

Jill my address is 123 Blog street. Mail me a check and i’m used to the “good” therapy so don’t skimp. LOL

Raqi when I read it I think its more the parents let that kid down. My .02

By IslandGirl

January 31, 2008 12:21 PM | Link to this

Toxic….sad. Yes, become a nun.

Good morning, all

By Jewel

January 31, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

Good afternoon Everyone!

Fortunately, I have not experienced the death of someone I have dated/married. I can only imagine the grief, since I have lost family members. When I was younger, I vowed never to marry a police officer. I imagined that everyday the phone rang or there was a knock at the door, it would be someone telling me that my husband was dead.

Slimone Yes, I believe this is true. My stepfather died almost a year to the day after my mother died.

By melo

January 31, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

Now please go home to your unsatisfying marriage… SUCKA!!! iam going back to my hole since u outing me like that.

(God, if I am old and unmarried, I pray to die in some fine young puddy8) too funny alvin “whatca wearing always followed by “do you have panties on” growm pple fantasy this SexxyL

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

Das Whew! Glad to know that. ;-)

By Kay

January 31, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

I b-lieve the stats are 1 in 4 women have been sexually molested/assalted. Yep, you do know women who have been molested/assalted, and most likely have dated some of these women.

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 12:29 PM | Link to this

Sis Staceye please tell me that in your 12:10 you did eventually get some help or got pass that stiuation…not just in sharing/venting it with SO, friends/the blog…but really have made it through the pain.

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 12:29 PM | Link to this

DasV yes mami I got my money..wasn’t nearly enough though.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 12:30 PM | Link to this

Truth - Cool, DasV is good with them numbers plus she’s got the security packed with her.

Staceye -can you lead us into Kumbaya?

Demi jump on the keyboard brotha.

The kitchen will be open after service dear hearts, Diva & Leggs will be fixin plates for a large donation to the Chuuch of Mt Blog.

By IslandGirl

January 31, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

C tha 1….your earlier post is so true.

Staceye **..you need to change your name to ::Blessed. What a blessing to survive an accident like that.

Real…that skit was funny.

Truth…I can see you’ve been holding it down on the blog.

Slim..what’s up chicka?

Alvin…since you’re here instead of Demi…I won’t ask how you’re doing.

By Jeff

January 31, 2008 12:34 PM | Link to this

I dated a woman for a few years when I was very young (late teens) and had a great relationship. Circumstances changed and we had to move apart. We kept teach over the years for maybe a decade and then it all stopped. A year or so ago, I realized the 30th anniversary of our meeting was due. I went to seek her out, just to catch up and ask her why we hadn’t bothered to catch up with each other in the easy to do electronic age of email. Tracked down some of her friends via a high school reunion site and found the grim news that she had died in a violent accident in California leaving a husband and 3 kids behind.

By 2CPTG©

January 31, 2008 12:35 PM | Link to this

not trynna make light of anyone’s situation, but if a settlement was for 100k, and mostlawyers take accident cases on a contingency basis, which is 33%, he should’ve only gotten 33k……yeah, you got hurt twice!

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 12:38 PM | Link to this

…more sad news stories

Indianapolis, Indiana was rocked to its core by the senseless killings of two women, a toddler and a baby who were shot multiple times while being held in their mother’s arms.

Police are searching for two men who were seen running from the home.

The victims were Charlii Yarrell, 4 months; Charlii’s mother, Andrea Yarrell, 24; Jordan Hunt, 23 months; and Jordan’s mother, Gina Hunt, 24.

The two women and the toddler died at the scene. Four-month-old Charlii Yarrell was taken to Methodist Hospital with several gun shot wounds. She died a few hours later.

Police initially investigated a burglary at a vacant house late Monday night. A short time later they were called again about gunshots being fired across the street from the vacant house. Police entered the home through a broken window and found the bodies.

A set of electronic scales, a safe, a pound marijuana and several long guns were found in the house, according to police. Two handguns were later found in the street near the home.

“Whoever is responsible for this, we’re going to track you down like dogs,” Marion County Sheriff Frank Anderson said. “We’re not going to stop until we find you and put you in a cage where you belong.”

By For Real

January 31, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

Slim My bad that should have said “too bad she doesn’t know Blow for the MickeyD hookup.”

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli after 9-11 I had to get therapy anyway…the company made us all get evaluated and they pay close attention to those who were in the towers when it happen (I being one). So during that is when I let I let it be known to somebody other God and myself. So I killed two birds with one stone. Can I say I am completely over it…no! Honestly..I think that was my gateway to the hostility towards men sometimes. Oh well….

Island Girl* I know God has a BIG plan for me…I am have been sprared a few times. The truck, 9-11 and the last minute decision for no reason to ride with my pageant director’s husband the following day after she had left to Canada for a pageant judging. Her passenger sie was completely ripped out by a auto transport truck. The pageant committee in Canada did not know I changed my travel plans and had the police and morge looking for what would be left of me after viewing the car. She was unconscience so she could not tell them that I was not with her. They figured it out by the lack of blood and body parts and the lack on more luggage that I was never in the car. So yes..I am blessed.

By C tha 1

January 31, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

I would date a chic who has been molested. Why. Well … I can relate. That is some sick shyt that happens to both little boys and girls. I was 6 or 7 when it happened. Way too young to know nothing about nothing. Alot about the memory is hazy but there is one indelible impression left in my soul that I will never forget.

I never told anybody about this but my brother. He ended you pulling out our dad’s 30/30 rifle on the dude, but then his sister stood in front of him with her kid on her hip and dared him to pull the trigger. He didn’t do it. I don’t fault him though … he had my back. He later told me the same thing happened to him. Even to this day we haven’t told our dad. I honestly believe neither of us know how to. We grown now. And we haven’t mentioned that whole incident to eachother in about twenty some odd years. Probably never will. It don’t matter no more.

That nasty muthaf%@ is sick now, and I can’t wait for him to die so I can spit on his grave. Do I want revenge. No. Watching him die slow is good enough for me.

That’s I don’t mind dating women who got some issues. Hell, yall ain’t the only ones dealin’ with shyt. Some of us can relate. The only reason I feel compelled to even type this is because of the vibe in the blog room, and I have anoymity. Besides that this secret is going to the grave. Sorry for the long post … damn yall …

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

iam going back to my hole since u outing me like that -Ok melo my bad for takin it there, you just broke a Man Law but is was pretty funny so… Peacepipe?

By IslandGirl

January 31, 2008 12:46 PM | Link to this

@Truth… kid’s parent let him down… Can you imagine the mental state of a 7 yr old to consider ending his life and actually executing the thought? There are kids in psychotherapy for various reasons (bipolar disorder, etc.) , but for a child at that age to actually be cognizant of a malignant idea and enacting – is truly a sign of the times. Same as the young boys that “allegedly” raped their play mate a few months ago.

By DasV

January 31, 2008 12:48 PM | Link to this

2CPTG …had that same thought. plus, pain and suffering is at the least 5x the medical expenses and the lost wages… . somebody hurtin for real, for real. and it aint the lawyer!

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

2CPTG© Buddy, it was just an exaggeration as far as the lawyer fees went. HellifI would give that much cheese up to a professional liar…oops I mean lawyer. LOL!

Slim now giving For Real the ‘aight now negro’ look, then busts out with a half-azzed smile lol

IG Long tine no hear from. I think For Real has some leftover black cake we’ve been trying to save for you. I said tryin cuz this fool been dayum near giving it away to all of blogsville.

By Raqi

January 31, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

Now 2CPTG you know when we were kids you didn’t hear of such madness. I mean the things kids are doing now we just didn’t think about. Yeah, the entire world in general is worse but you just didn’t hear of this type of stuff among children.

We were mischievous and naughty like kids do but not full of evil and hatred that these kids are showing today.

Suicide is a harsh death for anyone. But for a mere child to have such a thought…just scary.

By QueDogTeaching

January 31, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this

Truth That is what I mean, how can you now date someone with that kind of messed up mind set. To me that is some coochie that she can keep. That is what I call crazy coochie.

Alvin To boot he was the president of the college at the time of his death. Like 2 years before I got there. At first I thought she was lying. But she had particulars. Dates, Room number, Court papers, all of the above.

Toxic you are the classic example of what I am talking about. If I met her, no matter how fine she was I would have to digress. Who knows what the actual truth is about each situation, but the information alone is enough.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this

DasV

You talk like an attorney. (Or is it that you stayed at Holiday Inn Express® last night?) :-)

By IslandGirl

January 31, 2008 12:57 PM | Link to this

Slim…LoL…well I’m glad he shared it with the blog. It seems he did not scare away any of the blog females cause I see everyone is still here….must have been some good puddy…lol

By For Real

January 31, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

Jill You are right about me. I am tired of women taking advantage of me. Send your money quick. Help me Jill!

I want to breath again.

I want to live Jill!

Please Jill help me. Take me into your big firm bossomses.

By For Real

January 31, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this

QDT Did you go to SSC. The same thing happend there.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

Staceye - Your story was real… I’m starting to understand. I’ve had 2 girlfriends that were touched as lil girls I was with them 2yrs each. The 1st one from back home was touched by her father she told me about 4 years after we broke up(we still talk often). She gave me alot of details of how he’d come into her room early in morn 4-5am… then she told me after she got a lil older he stopped and seemed to try and get himself 2gether. Then when she was like 16 she saw him sneeking out of her lil-sister room @ 6am before the family was on its way to Church!!! the 2nd girlfriend was a foster child so she had stories but would rarely tell them. I made the biggest mistake by taking her to see Antwan Fisher @ the show… man that girl cried for the rest of the night… and I felt like shyt! After that she let me in a little on what she’d been through but never too much.

By Cocoa

January 31, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

WAY OFF TOPIC

WHEN WE LOOK AT HOW WE CHOOSE OUR PARTNERS, WE ALL SELECT WITH UNCONSCIOUS ACCURACY A MATE WHO WILL RECREATE WITH US THE EMOTIONAL PATTERNS OF OUR FIRST HOMES.

By IslandGirl

January 31, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

By C tha 1…that’s deep. So sorry you had to go through that. I’m sure it feels good to talk about it. We all have our issues to contend with -some more apparent than others. I guess if the guy I’m dating shared that childhood experience, I would be taken aback at first, but will surely be supportive. I would not pass up on having the right person in my life because of a past tragic experience.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

“WHEN WE LOOK AT HOW WE CHOOSE OUR PARTNERS, WE ALL SELECT WITH UNCONSCIOUS ACCURACY A MATE WHO WILL RECREATE WITH US THE EMOTIONAL PATTERNS OF OUR FIRST HOMES.”

Huh?

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 1:10 PM | Link to this

Staceye all i know is someone that can take hits from there past and then for others to JUDGE where ppl are emotionally can be hard enough.

You said:

I think that was my gateway to the hostility towards men sometimes.

I say:

Tried and true!

Sis since you state/believe it God does has something in store for you. True love will find it’s way to you whether you/and or God force it. While you’re thinking/speaking hostility towards men and all that…God is probably working behind the scene to operate on your heart toward men. He created them to love you too. But remember even if he has to make another incision the first one was a success b/c you made it through. Surely you have to share that testimony.

P.S. I am not speaking to you on this subject anymore chica.

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 1:16 PM | Link to this

Dad Killed Baby Over Broken X-Box

This is crazy

By Cocoa

January 31, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

HOW COULD WE HAVE CREATED A SOCIETY IN WHICH 42 PERCENT OF OUR CHILDREN WILL GROW UP IN SINGLE-PARENT HOMES? IF A ARGUMENT BREAKS OUT, STOP THINKING OF A WAY OUT!

By QueDogTeaching

January 31, 2008 1:19 PM | Link to this

Slim & Staceye Not saying that anything is WRONG with either of you. It is just there is a lot of emotional baggage that comes in those instances. And unless help is sought these occurrences will continue to be played over and over mentally. I did say recently, And I do understand that things of this nature have happened to many women, and to that affect a lot of men. I teach a lot of these young ladies now, but there is a tremendous amount of help and therapy these days. In times past this type of abuse was swept under the rug and a multitude of young ladies never received any type of help. Because of this a lot of them have deep emotional scars.

By Cocoa

January 31, 2008 1:19 PM | Link to this

DARRELL

EXACTLY!

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 1:25 PM | Link to this

Cocoa Um…hun…did you take your meds today?

*We interrupt your regularly scheduled blog for this breaking news story. Today at approximately 1pm, a patient escaped from the Milledgeville Pshyciatric Ward. No word yet on how she was able to escape the tight security and barbed wire fence all while still wearing the straight-jacket. Please be on the look out, as she has been reported spewing all kinds of Bold Typed Rhetoric. Now for the midday cash 3 winning numbers…

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

Slim

Per your 1:16, I completely agree that is crazy; but nothing we human beings do surprises me. When left to our own devices, each one of us is capable of only God-knows-what. So, as sick as that is, I’m not shocked by it.

“The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick. Who can understand it?” - Jeremiah 17:9

By Cocoa

January 31, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

MYTHS

WHEN I MARRY THIS PERSON, ALL OF MY PROBLEMS WILL BE OVER.

I WILL HAVE ACHIEVED SUCCESS AND I WILL BECOME THE CENTER OF LIFE FOR THIS OTHER PERSON AND VISE VERSA AND WE WILL MEAN EVERYTHING TO EACH OTHER FOR EVER AND EVER.

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 31, 2008 1:28 PM | Link to this

I was molested by different men during my childhood because my mother was an addict. That has messed me up so dayuuuuuuum bad, I ain’t lying. I really am an emotional wreck and the first time that I ever told one of my S.O. was my last relationship. He abused me physically, I told him everything that happened he made me feel as if I was damaged goods because he knew everything about me. Till this day I do not like guys to touch me, I don’t like aggressive men. I don’t like big guys. It makes me think about the guys who molested me. I don’t like bald guys. I have to be the initiator in the bed. I have to be the aggressor.

By QueDogTeaching

January 31, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this

For Real Yep Peacock Hall

By Jewel

January 31, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

whispering in Cocoa’s ear: Stop screaming, dear.

By melo

January 31, 2008 1:34 PM | Link to this

WD U are a genius!The blog fam was tearing each other up, u intervene to no avail. And then u introduce death.Today its kumbaya* death is a unifier.

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this

Truth just got back from lunch w/a co-worker and I was telling her the same thing about the little boy. Something went wrong with the parents guidance toward that child. How the heck can or should a 7 year old understand the gravity of big life issues. He got in a little trouble at school and decided to take his life. His parents did something wrong in their teachings. JMO!

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 1:36 PM | Link to this

QueDog Well, I can understand you not wanting to date someone who recently went through an ordeal such as that…it takes the mind much longer than the body to heal & come back from that kind of thing. I was also raped when I was 16yrs old. To this day my mom doesn’t know…matter of fact, none of my family members know. For some reason I felt if i told my mom, she’d be more hurt than I was.

Darrell I guess things such as that don’t seem to trivial to a person who doesn’t have it all upstairs. 51/50 is what I think they call it now

By mytwocents

January 31, 2008 1:37 PM | Link to this

Stace, C, Slim, 6’1 & everyone else forced into that boat w/ us: HUGS :)

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

ForReal/QDT

Cemeeli - Wright Hall

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this

6’1 “Till this day I do not like guys to touch me, I don’t like aggressive men. I don’t like big guys. It makes me think about the guys who molested me.”

Wow! I tell you what, for all you’ve been through and are still dealing with, I’ve gotta compliment you on being transparent and honest enough with yourself to tell the truth about the issues and challenges you’re facing. I mean that. I can admire someone who doesn’t make pretense about who they really are - for better or worse - and I admire you for your openness.

By Rell

January 31, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

@6’1…EITHER you need some serious help…fa real.

By kimmie

January 31, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

Seems like so many of us on this blog have been through a lot. I am sure it helps that we have a forum that we can share our experiences. That’s why I don’t like to come down so hard on people when they talk about relationship issues here on the blog. Our love relationships cannot help but be shaped by other life experiences we’ve had. You never know what another person has gone through so you have no right to judge. When people make the decisions they do to get married/not get married, date/not date, have sex/not have sex, have kids/not have kids, it’s all based on their experiences. Even with prayer, counseling, etc., everyone is just doing the best they can. We need to give ourselves and each other a break sometimes. If God blesses you to wake up today and put one foot before the other, be thankful!

By QueDogTeaching

January 31, 2008 1:52 PM | Link to this

Ceemeeli & For Real Did you go to the big alumni cookout that was in July?

By IslandGirl

January 31, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

@ Slim..”escaping Milledgeville Psychiatric Ward”…lol…

6’1’…IIf you have never considered counseling, please do so. There is no shame in talking to a professional about your experiences. It will help you with those unresolved emotions. Much love to you.

By melo

January 31, 2008 1:53 PM | Link to this

6’1 & Luvinit hmmmmmmm..ahem

funeral Big Ray Ray died in the hood.Ple were gathered at the deceased home as is customary, sharing stories and memories about the deceased, singing and just comforting the fam.There were lost of pple u knw, since this Ray-Ray was well known and waz luved by all.Even strangers in cars would slow dwn, honk or just move past slowly. When it was time to eat, food was served and it was all kinda merry, every one enjoying the sumptous food and servings nd relaxing by the lawn in front of the house. And after the meal this guy nobody had noticed before,was there amngst them and was scracthing his belly with his left and had the big roast bone on his lips, licking it and poking the hole to get that other good stuff out,and asked who died by the way?

By Beautiful

January 31, 2008 1:56 PM | Link to this

my heart goes out to everyone who has lost a loved one: SO, parent, sibling, friend. i don’t have anything to add to the topic today. just lurkin’ and doing homework. have a good one!

By Rell

January 31, 2008 1:56 PM | Link to this

@slim…dayum lil lady thats f up…i hate to hear that s..and i have dated alot of women who have shared that type of story with me…just sad

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

QDT I heard didn’t go. Keep in touch with only 1-2 alumni…that probably was bomb AND that’s my birthday month.

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 2:01 PM | Link to this

I’m sorry for those of you were actually violated as children. My growing up was a little different. My mother’s menfolk always wanted to be around me. My brothers’ fathers tried on more than one occasion. I cussed, screamed and cried many times. One offered me a lot of money, but I turned it down and told my mother. Luckily for me, she believed me. When I tell you I had a smarta$$ mouth growing up I’m not kidding. My sass was my fortitude against men. I didn’t trust anyone. I was young and I couldn’t understand why these grown a$$ men wanted to touch me and then say such cruel things when I cussed them back. I could have easily been you Staceye. I’ve been choked because I wouldn’t comply, the one and only time I found that kicking one in the nuts really, really hurt!

By AmazonRed

January 31, 2008 2:01 PM | Link to this

Whoa! What is going on up in here today? Looks like a big therapy session. I commend those of you who are courageous to share your personal tragedies and testimonies. For those who are still healing, I pray for your deliverance. Stay strong.

By Toxic

January 31, 2008 2:02 PM | Link to this

I have to live with this the rest of my life…Lord help me…

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

Sexyleggs i probably would have done the same. Matter of fact those step-uncles that tried to come at me sideways when they were “covered” thought they were slick. I’m sure the look on my face and me stopping in midstream to tell them an earful helped me exscape the crasi mess.

6’1 YOU have what YOU need to heal from all that pain. The will and desire to get/recieve healing.

Thanks Kimmie for 1:51.

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 31, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

Rell or what? I have indeed seen a therapist. It was recommended to me after my best friend was killed I took bereavement and didn’t want to come back to work. That is so not like me because I love my job and that hefty salary. I always have all my time at the beginning of the next fiscal year because I do not take off. While seeing the therapist we addressed a lot of issues that I had with my past and present and things that I had suppressed. I recommend therapy to everyone. You will not see me on t.v. for finally cracking under the pressure and going “hem” on anyone. You might see me on one of those tattoo shows thought. I seriously think that I have an obsession with this pain. I have tattoos and piercings and it is like i am getting something new every week.

By QueDogTeaching

January 31, 2008 2:15 PM | Link to this

6’1 That is also what I am talking about. The mental and emotional stress that many carry around is not handled. These things are carried on for years, then all of a sudden one touch, one smell, one statement said at the wrong time and things go haywire.

Can I honestly say that I would never involve myself with a young lady who had been through such circumstances? No I can’t. But I do understand that these things are not something that just happened, but are life changing situations.

By texmex

January 31, 2008 2:20 PM | Link to this

Great topic today. I feel for everyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one here today.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

6’1 “You will not see me on t.v. for finally cracking under the pressure and going “hem” on anyone.”

Maybe not, but I better not see you on National Geographic either. With all those tattoos and piercings you have, I might confuse you with one o’ them tribal females from that show Taboo. Next thing you know you’ll be trying to stuff a salad plate down your lower lip. LOL!

(Just tryin’ to lighten the mood a bit, that’s all.)

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 2:22 PM | Link to this

Okay it’s getting a little down and too deep for me. Let’s Lighten It Back UP…..

So anybody ever thought about whether they’d rather be buried or cremated?

Slim now hearing crickets.

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 31, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this

Q- u are right and there are guys that I have dealt with that I never told and they probably wonder to this day what happened or why I acted the way that I did. We do not walk around with a sign on that tells what we have been through. So how would you know. Do you ask after your third date? What if you had already developed feelings for this person and you were in a relationship with them and they just gotten to the point where they felt comfortable enough to tell you what they experienced in there childhood.

By Demi

January 31, 2008 2:27 PM | Link to this

6’1 until your ready for professional help…you’ll be loved here, unless you’re alvin…I dealt with my problems and hurts alone…It nearly killed me. Don’t make my mistake..*Even those amoung the strong needs someone to lean on time to time.

IG lol, funny you…and Hey Too U!!

Slim you don’t cuss out or miss treat my mom…as foolish’n’disrespectful as I am, I would never scoop that low.

Ms.Eye you will always be my baby carrying boo.

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 2:32 PM | Link to this

Lol…Darrell will you stop…! plate in the lower lip. maybe somebody in the blog is wearing one… Ha!

By The Truth

January 31, 2008 2:34 PM | Link to this

All I can say is WOOW. I want to give you all a hug but…I’m sorry for those that had that experience. Other than that I don’t know what else to say. Sorry. Peace to you.

Slim you are stupid. Lmao @ “Please be on the look out, as she has been reported spewing all kinds of Bold Typed Rhetoric. Now for the midday cash 3 winning numbers… “

Ladies, the fellas are learning from you too. Notice 900 and Melo just ignited a blog war then without outside intervention squelched it in an effort to maintain the spirit of the blog. Thats a testament to your teachings. Peace to all.

This is somewhat on and off topic but its a thought I had when reading some of these posts. When I worked at the pen there was alot of rapes (not quite the same I know) and I wasn’t real good at helping those folks. I just couldn’t relate. I wonder how the adults dealing with these situations would have coped? I mean your parents and family. Its not something you are trained to deal with. How did your families play into this?

Staceye looks like I owe you a special apology. I’m sorry you had to go thru what you did but I hope you use this blog as a springboard to get beyond this and not allow men to take away one more ounce of your joy. There is greater out there for you but you’ve got to go grab it by the horns. We’ll/I’ll do whatever I can to help you. Peace.

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 31, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

I think that I want to be cremated and my ashes separated and buried in containers with different love ones. But how in the world is talking about whether we want to be buried or cremated a lighter note. Come on slim? Lets talk about what I am getting tattooed this weekend (LOL)

By COCOA

January 31, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

SLIMONE

WHAT DOES IT MATTER, YOU’RE DEAD!

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

Cee - its good to hear how you stood up to ‘em! These chumps got hell waitin for em.

Fliduck Mike Jackson! yeah I said it…what?

Slim - I’ve always said that I want to be buried on some old sheets wraped around me while wearing an old suit with a bunch of seeds in my pockets. I do not see the point of $6000+ caskets!

By Blue_Kolla

January 31, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

Post Of The Year: ..at one time couple seasons back 2canplaythatgame..ALWAYS dropped them..and other male bloggers gave sound advice that i still remember..but NOW not so much…thats why i said stop… -Rell

…back lurkin’

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 2:38 PM | Link to this

Demi Slim you don’t cuss out or miss treat my mom What???

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli* very true mami…everything you said.

6’1 have you ever seeked therapy for this, no just the deaths? I have to say it helped me to at least start to heal. Trust I was way worst than I am now. By the way..I have tattoos and a piercing.

Sexyleggs I think that is what started the outspoken me. I felt since I did not speak up for myself then I would never let myself be treated that way again. So at age 9 when another man tried that with me I fought him like a grown woman. I went for the genitals and was able to escape.

By Demi

January 31, 2008 2:39 PM | Link to this

slim…we oughta cremate yo a$$ for that lacker joke.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

6’1 “I think that I want to be cremated and my ashes separated and buried in containers with different love ones. But how in the world is talking about whether we want to be buried or cremated a lighter note. Come on slim? Lets talk about what I am getting tattooed this weekend (LOL)”

Lemme guess…an urn? LOL!

By BETANU

January 31, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

Whats that smell?

No one washes jeans, not even somewhat frequently. I think only a few petite girls do. But Jeans are not really meant for washing. There is a human fear that they will fade and become stiff so really we are a society of people walking arond in dirty jeans. I think this is why those light jeans went out of style cause they were very “tell tale”. Embrace the fact that you may wash jeans only two or three times before getting another pair. its okay. S**! in some countries people only shower sparingly. I personally have never washed a pair more than two or three times, tops. sometimes over the course of 1 year, maybe two. I usually just know its time for new ones when u iron them and they smell like a combination of the underside of a carpet and hot meat. I also hate when the bottoms tear but you hoep no one notices, so i chuck them at that point also. what do you think

By Rell

January 31, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

@slim…this always lighten my mood

http://crunktastical.blogspot.com/

hilarious

@Bluek….whats up mayne

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

January 31, 2008 2:46 PM | Link to this

SlimOne I want to be cremated. Something about the thought of being in a casket, even deceased, makes me claustraphobic!!

Its been really touching to read some of these posts today. You just never really know what goes on with people. Hugs to everybody.

By Rell

January 31, 2008 2:47 PM | Link to this

this right here

http://www.myeyewitnessnews.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=b8237d00-be38-4d18-b8fe-2f67d8497d3a

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this

BETANU “I usually just know its time for new ones when u iron them and they smell like a combination of the underside of a carpet and hot meat.”

ROFL!!!

By Demi

January 31, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

Hey all, does CokaCola remind y’all of a blogger from a few months back…who always posted in caps, well:

She’s Back

Lets talk about what I am getting tattooed this weekend

No, where is tattoo #50 being place?

I once date this black goth chick who loved cutting herself time to time…she seems alright to me

By Demi

January 31, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

SlimOne no you sis, thats what them so-called family members did…

By Blue_Kolla

January 31, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

@Rell… ‘sup champ. Just scanning the blog. Not really much to say, just reflecting.

Kind of reinforces that thing about not judging - regardless of how a person looks, you never know what they are dealing with on the inside.

By Blasian Girl

January 31, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

I’ve noticed a pattern. When I go out with my BFF (who is slim, attractive and like me, single), I notice that men approach her (and not me) and she gets digits and dates (unlike me). So, in recent months I’ve begun going to events alone … . now on the one hand, I think this is just practical. (Plus, it’s always good to have some things just for you, separate from your other friends.) On the other hand, I feel a little sneaky doing so … I mean, she has her own life separate from me, but still … am I wrong?

By melo

January 31, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

Demi,U know alvin never told his story to the new bloggers.Why dont u tell them hw he drove heself to Grady with his croacth in his hand literally and his insides all rolled up beside him on the car seat? Or does it trigger a relapse and ss syndrome?

By The Truth

January 31, 2008 2:54 PM | Link to this

Blue Kolla man I been trying to catch up with you about Rosetta Stone. I must say its NICE. Nothing like I thought it would be but much better. No translations at all but you learn by thinking in spanish. I do about an hour a day and my skills are picking up regularly. If your the kind of cat that can hit your puter regularly then I highly recommend it. Honest, if I finish this project off I’m going to go for a third language, maybe french or japanese. I give it 3 thumbs up.

By Wise Diva

January 31, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

Everyone, thank you SO much for sharing your amazing stories and comments with us today. I marvel at the human spirit that is able to endure such pain.

sorry to be so silent,guys. I haven’t been “right” since lunch today. My friend and I were in a Subway restaurant when a robber decided to hold the store up. Talk about SCARY!? Thank GOD nobody was hurt. That was way too close for comfort.

If something ever happens to me though, you guys should know that I love all of you: readers, lurkers, commenters, people who send me email. Just felt the need to say that, since you know, I am so shaken. I have REALLY enjoyed being a part of this forum and online community, even when you guys drive me nuts! I care about the blog so much that it really makes me uneasy when things drag it down - and that is why I step up and say something. Sorry, if I went overboard with it, I had good intentions, really.

By 6'1 & luvinit

January 31, 2008 2:57 PM | Link to this

I am getting a tattoo on my right foot. I already have them on my left. One of my co workers asked me why my foot and I told her that I had them every where else. Darrell u know you always have me smiling:) I always get them two at a time for some even (lol) reason so I think I am going to get the other tattoo behind my ear.

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 2:58 PM | Link to this

Demi climb on up baby! LOL Oh yeah I went through my goth phase too! Still a lil’ bit remains…I even pulled out one of my outfits for Halloween last year.

6’1 I know because you are so talll you have a lot of body…but soon you are goingt run out of tattoo space! LOL You are going to be Kat Von Dee’s Latina illegitimate sister! LOL

By Wise Diva

January 31, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

Everyone, thank you SO much for sharing your amazing stories and comments with us today. I marvel at the human spirit that is able to endure such pain.

sorry to be so silent,guys. I haven’t been “right” since lunch today. My friend and I were in a Subway restaurant when a robber decided to hold the store up. Talk about SCARY!? Thank GOD nobody was hurt. That was way too close for comfort.

If something ever happens to me though, you guys should know that I love all of you: readers, lurkers, commenters, people who send me email. Just felt the need to say that, since you know, I am so shaken. I have REALLY enjoyed being a part of this forum and online community, even when you guys drive me nuts! I care about the blog so much that it really makes me uneasy when things drag it down - and that is why I step up and say something. Sorry, if I went overboard with it, I had good intentions, really.

By GEROME SAPP

January 31, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

@Truth Rosetta Stone is that fiyah

By QueDogTeaching

January 31, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

Slim LIQ Laughing Inside Quietly. I see that you get through a lot of uncomfortable situations through laughter. I like that. Keep it up.

6’1 I know that is a hard thing to just know about someone. And if I am already feeling a female then in know it would be very hard not to stay with her. But a lot of the things that we go through come out pretty fast. Like you said you don’t like men who are agressive. The first time that a man makes move on you, then you will react accordinly. To another female it may be nothing, but to you it is a big deal. He will know the difference.

By Rell

January 31, 2008 3:00 PM | Link to this

Kind of reinforces that thing about not judging - regardless of how a person looks, you never know what they are dealing with on the inside.

WORD!!!!!!….thats why i am the last one to judge…cause i could blow ya ears off if you knew the REAL RELL…some of you do…

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

WD The same thing happened to me a couple years ago while at the barber shop.

Young black male walks in wearing a white “wife beater” and some jeans and sits down in the back as if he’s waiting like the rest of us to get a cut. About 5 minutes later, dude gets up and heads to the front door as if he was leaving, only to turn around real quick and pull a handgun on us all. I was like “What the…?!”

Dude made us all get face-down on the floor and empty our pockets. I had about $30 cash on me which, of course, I gave up right away. Dude ripped one of the phones out of the wall and took off. First time in my life I ever felt “violated.” The sad thing is that I still had to pay for the haircut afterwards. I was like, “Hell, I just got robbed in YOUR shop and you still gonna make me pay?!”

I never forgave my barber for that. LOL!

By 6'1 & luvinit

January 31, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

Stacy, when i went to the therapist I dealt with every thing even dealt with the fact that I wish I would have gotten a SRT8 Charger instead of the friggin BMW. He was great and he was a hottie. He told me to get them both.

By kimmie

January 31, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

Wise - I’m sure I speak for everyone in saying I am so glad you are okay! I should say you are shaken! This is just too deep, considering what we’ve been talking about today! Just can’t take anything for granted. May God bless you and everyone, Wise and blog family!

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

Demi So what you saying is I’m going to h3ll with gasoline drawers on? LOL! Ionevenkno which joke you talking bout cuz i’m too lazy and busy to scroll back up. Either way Aye Caramba….

Slim now walking around the office talking like Bobby Bushays mom on Waterboy…”That boys da debil”

900 Now when you say ‘seeds’, exactly what type of seed will we be placing in your pockets? MUAH HA HA HA

Dis shyt right herr digga…it’s called DEAF!…one hit and you can hear nuttin

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

WiseD love to you to! Thanks for that.

Glad to know that there was a host to cover you during that hold up. God is so faithful to us.

By Blue_Kolla

January 31, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

Truth Good looking out bruthaman. I guess I’m sold. I’ll contact the company about your commission check.

Blasian You’ll definately get more action when you roll solo. But on the flip, (I’m assuming that your friend, on the outside, may have an edge on you in the physical sense), keep rolling with your friend, because the dude that passes her by, for you, just might be the one using his third eye and not his johnson.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this

6’1 “Darrell u know you always have me smiling :)”

No, I didn’t know that, but I’m glad to now. :-) I gotta ask you a question though. If you met a guy you really liked and you felt you could have a future with, what would you say if he asked to cease and desist with the tattoo thing? What would you do?

By AmazonRed

January 31, 2008 3:09 PM | Link to this

WiseDiva - That is crazy! So glad you are safe. Praise Him.

Blasian Girl - Nothing wrong with you going out by yourself. Unless you are lying to your friend - “naw, girl, I’m just gonna make it a Blockbuster night” (while putting your freak em dress on, lol) - you can do what you want.

How come you don’t get numbers and dates? Do you have some areas to work on (weight, attitude) or do you become a shrinking violet when you are out with your friend?

By pisces08

January 31, 2008 3:10 PM | Link to this

@WD. Ditto….. back atcha.

By SexyCool

January 31, 2008 3:14 PM | Link to this

call me if you need me, wise…

By The Truth

January 31, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

Gerome and BK I would recommend ebay over the store in Lenox or on-line. I saved about 100 bux by winning it in the auction. Just make sure its version 3, the latest verion. The copy I bought was brand new in the box and included the headset. And, if your serious about it get level 1 and 2 vs level 1 only. I figure at this rate I’ll be thru with level 1 by the end of Febor March.

WD glad your ok. Its scary out there.

Darrell** if it’ll make you feel better I’ll give you a free cut forall you’ve been thru. You gotta bring your own bowl tho. LOL

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

ARed “How come you don’t get numbers and dates?”

Because she’s waiting for the guy to make the “first move”? LOL!

(Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

…on not judging ppl…

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

Slim - well a bit of both… I want a big azz oak tree to stand over me for the next 200 years. Plus while thats taking its time to come up… some of the finest purple-kush on the planet! that way every year on my birthday you can come thru and put one in the air wit ya boy!

Wise Dam was the sandwich on the house??? you was supposed to jump up and use that kung-fu on em!

Stop stallin fatboy!!!

By DasV

January 31, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

2cents im inna dat boat too… scoot ova. dayum that felt good to say aloud

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

6’1 you didn’t ask him out did you? Hey I asked out my GYN! LOL

WD wow girl…that is some ole crazy ish!

Darrell she is not giving up her tattooing nor her shopping for no dude! LOL

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 3:19 PM | Link to this

SexyCool May I call you? I was robbed, too.

By Rell

January 31, 2008 3:20 PM | Link to this

just might be the one using his third eye and not his johnson.

COSIGN

By melo

January 31, 2008 3:21 PM | Link to this

“Hell, I just got robbed in YOUR shop and you still gonna make me pay?! Darrell, what side of twn waz that?

By IslandGirl

January 31, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

Wise…we appreciate you too.

By SexyCool

January 31, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

darrell…my loudest laugh all day…thanks…

that being said…

coach and i are throwing a superbowl party this weekend at a sports tavern in college park…if anyone wants an evite…send me an email to cscfromajc@yahoo.com

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 3:29 PM | Link to this

Que I have my moments but for the most part it’s a lot more fun to laugh than it is to cry. I know you’ve heard that expression Laugh to keep from crying?

WD Glad to see you’re A OK. Here, have a double shot of patron on Demi Matter of fact, order whatever you like. If Demi backs out, Alvin will surely get the tab.

Mo I use to tell my mom I wanted them to have a party for my funeral since I didn’t want everybody to be all sad. I was like play some Prince “Party like its 1999” & a club re-mix of Purple Rain, bring confetti to throw in my coffin or urn and bring some of that canned silly string, but don’t get too close to the candles. LMAO

By QC

January 31, 2008 3:30 PM | Link to this

How smart are you

There are 7 girls on a bus Each girll has 7 backpacks In each backpack, is 7 big cats For every big cat is 7 little cats Question: How many legs are on the bus?

Yes, i have the correct answer if want the email, hit me up

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 31, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

Once time I was in this pawn shop and it got robbed. I was p** off not because they stole anything from me. No they stole the dayuum tennis bracelet that I was coming to buy. I wanted to run after the man and ask him could I buy it from him. I know that he had it for the LO!!!!!!!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 3:31 PM | Link to this

Melo It was in East Point in a little plaza at the intersection of Headland and DeLowe. You not thinkin’ about hittin’ it again are you?

By Wise Diva

January 31, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this

ok, this is why you need friends in times like this, when I told my friend Dwayne he responded, wow Subway? Was it Jared?

LOL!!!

Thanks everyone for your kindness! I feel myself returning to normalcy now! :) sigh

By AmazonRed

January 31, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this

Darrell - Sucks for her then, cuz I get numbers and dates in spite of that. *wink *

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this

Wow…that was very cute…Lol…

Mr. Darrell you’re cordially invited to attend my SuperBowl party and meet coach.

900K you absolutley really enjoy some Sam. Did you see he’s in a new one? can’t think of the movie title/name.

By melo

January 31, 2008 3:33 PM | Link to this

luv u Wisy-D,that waz close tho!

By AmazonRed

January 31, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

6’1 - You got a story for every situation, don’t ya? LOL

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli ‘preciate the invite, but I’ll be at home watchin’ it on the HD. Thanks, anyway. :-)

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

January 31, 2008 3:39 PM | Link to this

SlimOne I feel you on that funeral thing. I like to focus on the memories moreso than the death. I know when my grandfather passed I kept everyone light hearted. He was a maniac about his yard. After the funeral when everyone came back to the house people had parked ALL OVER the yard. So I came in and yelled out “Now ya’ll know my grandaddy is cussin ya’ll in heaven for parking these cars on his grass!!” Everyone started laughing and I was like “I need ya’ll to get to moving these vehicles!” LOL!

Hey QDT

By Blue_Kolla

January 31, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this

QC 9618?

By melo

January 31, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

check this folks-cheer up A guy was lying very ill in hospital.His priest came to visit him.While the holy man was still there,the sick guy gasped and tried to speak.But the priest could not understand what he was saying.He gave the poor guy a pen and a paper.The guy wrote something…and then he gasped once more and died.The priest was scared and decided not to open the note.But at the funeral he told the congregation that the deceased gave him a note with his last words.He wanted to share with the mourners.The letter said:”Father plz,please take your foot off the oxygen pipe -I can’t breathe!”

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 3:43 PM | Link to this

Glad you’re ok WD, albeit shaken up. Wow!

Staceye, grown men hitting on me helped me find my voice at an early age. I couldn’t understand it, I had no butt, no t**, skin and bones and all mouth. Due to my healty dosage of self-esteem from birth, I was not going to let these men hurt me without a fight. Hell No! I was disgusted w/men for a long time because they were all “dirty old men” to a young girl. I get hit on constantly and I take it with a grain of salt because no one is coming at me correctly. By that I mean with respect and a genuine desire to get to know me. I get those air lickers and compliments from the guys on the job, but that’s about it for now!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

Melo

LOL! Good one.

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 31, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

Staceye I started to ask him out, but I had been crying and slobbering in his office for the last past two weeks straight. He knew where all the dead bodies were buried. Naw, But I would date my gyn. The last time I went to see him he pulled me to the side and he said I have been wanting to ask you something and I don’t want u to take this the wrong way or get offended. I already knew what he was going to ask me so I was prepared and the fact that he is so professional and cool and laid back I didnt take any offense to him. He asked me what made me get dat pierced and why so many. “I told him that I had to throw sum D’s on dat biatch.” He is only 31 so he just laughed

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

QC 10990

Ceemeli - Yeah he’s allright, I saw him in some sci-fi wierdo looking joint. All for the cash on that one.

By The Truth

January 31, 2008 3:45 PM | Link to this

Darrell what did you expect in that part of town? I always place a bum stash in my pocket when I go over there. LOL

Isn’t it cute how Similac keeps saying Darrell can meet coach. AWWWWW

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 3:46 PM | Link to this

QC, the answer is 10990. I posed this question to the blog about 2 weeks ago.

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this

Darrell Superbowl-in’ it @ the crib…i feel you…I have 2, now 3 Superbowl party invites and i am not sure i want to even dress/drive and hang til gameover at someone elses. I like my sofa n HD…matta fact…i think we’re in love. Lol!

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

QC is it 406?

WD if he took a san’mich to go…it was Jared! LOL

Sexyleggs’ new Color Purple name should be Miss Sophia! All my life I had to fight…I had to fight my daddy…had to fight my uncles….a girl ain’t safe in a house full of mens! LOL

By SlimOne

January 31, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

Last year a co-worker of mine was talking to her sister on the cell phone. Her sister was in the car driving home. Well long story short my co-worker heard a lood noise, static, etc on the phone. Her sister ended up getting into a car accident while on the phone with her. She ended up dying too. It was so sad.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this

Truth Yeah, I know, man, but dude had been cutting my hair for over 10 years. I would drive all the way from Covington to East Point because he was the only barber I knew that could cut my hair “right”. I’m telling you, that old cliche about your life passing before your eyes, it’s true. Trust me on that.

By melo

January 31, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

QC 10990,its just my smart azz, can’t help it!

By Alvin

January 31, 2008 3:55 PM | Link to this

Melo real talk, I was shot because I wanted to die…I don’t know why I pick myself off the ground, the shell enter from the back and stop a few millimeters from my spine and an inch from the chest cavity…I would have died if I keep on driving to Grady, my lungs collapse and I started to suffocate, I nearly ran over a cop to get him to stop, I couldn’t talk, let alone breathe, so I showed him I was bleeding…lo and behold an ambulance was just pasting by and the cop flag it down…once I got to Grady, they said ‘dude, you know you stop breathing for two minutes’…You were lucky!!

So there is a GOD…

This is the quick’n’clean version of what happen.

By Blue_Kolla

January 31, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this

All my life I had to fight…I had to fight my daddy…had to fight my uncles….a girl ain’t safe in a house full of mens!

Any stats on this as far as geography; I never heard of this happening to anybody until I came to the south. I’m sure it happens up top, but I’m questioning the frequency.

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 31, 2008 3:56 PM | Link to this

It do seems like I have story for every thing, I think i triggering my inner “Shawty Lo” ‘Done it all’ roflmao!!!!!!!

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

melo - a haa!! A Hhhaaa! you are one funny man.

Leggs I took no part in that post you speak of, just to clarify.

men lie.. women lie… numbers dont

By QC

January 31, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

10,990 no one in my dept can get the answer and i won’t give it to them….LMAO

Have a great evening bloggers

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 3:57 PM | Link to this

Cemeeli “i am not sure i want to even dress/drive and hang til gameover at someone elses…”

That’s what I’m sayin’. If the kickoff weren’t so late, I’d probably hit several SB parties, but a late kickoff plus a 30-minute halftime is gonna be pushing it. So, I’m gonna hit Buffalo Wild Wings for about 25 lemon-pepper and 25 parmesian garlic wings and head back out 20 to root for the GIANTS!

By Tazzee

January 31, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

I wanna be cremated and I’ve told everyone that will listen. Need to get that documented though.

Cremate me then have a party (can’t have a bbq, that’s a little morbid, LOL)

Then in my will I’ll have an allowance for my closest girlfriends to go someplace (probably Cape Town since that’s my current fave spot) and spread the ashes.

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

900K - yea that one! I was like come ‘on Sam…but you know again never judge.

Super Truth I’m mocking Darrell b/c he asked Sexycool to call him. She responded; Sure if you wanna meet coach. The invite was from Sexycool for the SB party.

auwwww.

By melo

January 31, 2008 3:58 PM | Link to this

SexyCool, takpat78@gmail.com. I be in west atlanta but wl roll in after with my boyz.Hope the place will be well stcked with some sexiness.

Darrel, no i aint going there for a cut but wrk close by enough.U safe nowhere tho,when its time, its time.God has a plan, if only we knew.

By Staceye

January 31, 2008 3:59 PM | Link to this

6’1 girl you are nuts! I am over cracking up!

QC I realized I missed something after I sent my answer! I need to slow my row! LOL

Good night All!

By Rell

January 31, 2008 4:04 PM | Link to this

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3EaigJVIGsk&feature=related

By melo

January 31, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

Alvin and u was runing the streets,right? Good that u turned ur lyfe around and are not a stat.Many bros never get a chance and u hear about them and they are 19..21 when they go.Keep ur head up as always.

By BLOW ME IS OFFICIALLY BLOWED & THROWED

January 31, 2008 4:10 PM | Link to this

QC 2744 legs on the bus.

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 4:16 PM | Link to this

Good one Staceye, that would be fitting, but I grew up to be Shug!

Melo I sent you an email yesterday. Did you get it?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 31, 2008 4:17 PM | Link to this

Well said, Melo.

By Rell

January 31, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

Did someone mention L O

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ocl2wslX9fg&feature=related

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 4:18 PM | Link to this

Ok my stand up routine:

Because Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym, his wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, ”Hey, Dave! How ya doin?” His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. ”Oh no,” says Dave. ”He’s on my bowling team.”

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual Budweiser. His wife is becoming uncomfortable and says, ”You must come here a lot for that woman to know you drink Budweiser.” ”No, honey, she’s in the Ladies Bowling League. We share lanes with them.” A stripper comes over to their table and throws her arms around Dave. ”Hi, Davey,” she says, ”Want your usual table dance?”

Dave’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her and she starts screaming at him.

The cabby turns his head and says, ”Looks like you picked up a real doozie this time, Dave!”

By SexyCool

January 31, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

there are no longs ON the bus…all of hte legs are IN the bus…

By Pussycat

January 31, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

@ Staceye 3:50
Hilarious. Needed that laugh!

@BK 3:56 Happens quite frequently. Never to me but my sister (done to her by cousins)

By Pussycat

January 31, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

@ Staceye 3:50
Hilarious. Needed that laugh!

@BK 3:56 Happens quite frequently. Never to me but my sister (done to her by cousins. Stankin old men, she was just a kid. Didn’t find out til she was older.

By Raqi

January 31, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

Wow, WiseDiva that would have been an excuse for me to go home.

QC I originally thought 2x196x1372 which equals 10,990. But then I drew my thoughts in a little narrower and concluded that a bus don’t have legs but 4 wheels. But leave it to me to have that thought process.

You all have a good evening and safe drive home. Stay warm and dry.

I am going to go try out that pot of gumbo simmering on my stove top.

Night.

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

Alvin…ergo…

…Alvin flyin’ over the skyline in the ‘A’???

Is that’s what’s up?!

By Alvin

January 31, 2008 4:21 PM | Link to this

melo dude, I was running lights lika mugg…is was 23 at the time…now I plan on living until I hit 105, LOL

Hey QC

By Kailani

January 31, 2008 4:22 PM | Link to this

According to one of the NY Giants’ girlfriends, Patriots star wide receiver Randy Moss may not be allowed to play in the game.

Here’s exactly what she told us:

By mytwocents

January 31, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this

WD So glad you’re okay! Sad cuz when I saw the topic in the a.m. I was like I need to tell her how much these thought provoking topics are appreciated. They made me come back after the questionable ones of last week. Never got around to it cuz I forgot for a few moments that tomorrow is not promised, let alone later today. Let’s shake that off. Moving on - I’m so naive sometimes… 6’1, Melo* wasn’t on to sumthin, was he? If not, pleeeeze lemme write the book. We’ve got enough material for at least 5 chapters from today alone! Alvin Is the extended version in here somewhere? P.S. Scooting

By Raqi

January 31, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

LOL That is so wrong. Let me try that again. 2 + 196 + 1372 x 7 = 10990.00

Good night.

By SexyCool

January 31, 2008 4:24 PM | Link to this

MAJOR TYPOS…let me try this again…

there are no LEGS ON the bus…all of the legs are IN the bus…

better yet…buses don’t have legs…

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 4:25 PM | Link to this

Okay, SexyCool took a more philosophical approach (LOL).

By SecretLover

January 31, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

Maple Sweet Potato Grits

2 large or 3 medium sweet potatoes

1 cup quick grits

1 t. salt

1/2 t. cinnamon

2 tablespoons pecan butter

1/4 cup maple syrup

Zest of one orange

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Roast the sweet potatoes until very soft, about 1 hour. Cool the potatoes, peel, and place in the bowl of a mixer. Prepare the grits according to the package directions. Pour the cooked grits and remaining ingredients into the mixer, and mix until light and fluffy.

By Beautiful

January 31, 2008 4:26 PM | Link to this

Wow, WiseDiva that would have been an excuse for me to go home.

i was thinkin’ the same thing. would have ran home to see my boys like there ain’t no tomorrow!

By melo

January 31, 2008 4:27 PM | Link to this

SexxyL,got it.Hadnt checked the box all day. Will make plans.tnx

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

900K!!! Have you bumped your head? what are u talking about? And no i’m not talking about your stand up routine.

By IslandGirl

January 31, 2008 4:29 PM | Link to this

@Alvn/Demi…its the first time I’m hearing your story. God is good all the time… I would have hate not knowing you.

I’m glad I decided to catch up with the blog today.

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this

BTW, I want to be cremated.

By Blue_Kolla

January 31, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this

@ SecretLover Maple Sweet Potato Grits?

Empty fridges make for some seriously creative cooking. Damn.

By Blue_Kolla

January 31, 2008 4:36 PM | Link to this

All my life I had to fight…I had to fight my daddy…had to fight my uncles….a girl ain’t safe in a house full of mens!

Any stats on this as far as geography; I never heard of this happening to anybody until I came to the south. I’m sure it happens up top, but I’m questioning the frequency.

By 2CPTG©

January 31, 2008 4:40 PM | Link to this

Kailani….tell that Giants gal, nice try, but she too would be violating the terms of the restraining order, because regardless who paid her expenses, she’d be going out of her way to have direct/indirect contact with him……but then again, the restraining order says 500 ft……so if she’s in the stands…..may not make a difference……dumbazz.

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

WD, I told you months ago that this blog was therapeutic for most. Today a lot opened their hearts to show their scars!

By melo

January 31, 2008 4:43 PM | Link to this

Rell is that u in the video.That biatch looks good tho.Did u kick it wth her…they alwaz get a cut these models, dont they?

By IslandGirl

January 31, 2008 4:44 PM | Link to this

SecretLover…thanks for sharing.

Everyone have a great evening…stay warm.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 31, 2008 4:44 PM | Link to this

Blue well homie outta the 2 girls I dated that went thru it. One from NY the other from GA.

And R. Kelly lives in Chicago so go figure

By SecretLover

January 31, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

@Blue

ummmm, I got that recipe from that clear bamma from Savannah….Paula Deen. I doubt her fridge is every empty.

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 4:45 PM | Link to this

Blue you silly!…

Empty fridges make for some seriously creative cooking. Damn.

I’ guessing that’s how Chefs create their signature dishes.

By Alvin

January 31, 2008 4:47 PM | Link to this

mytwocents yeah, i’ve spill my guts a few time on here…LOl

God is good all the time

IG to bad it took a shell for me to wake up!!

Wise I am glad you’re safe and sound.

Sexycool thanks for the invite, but I gotta work…

Night All!!

By Wise Diva

January 31, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

Have a wonderful and SAFE evening everyone.

Hugs and Kisses to you all

By SexyLeggs

January 31, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

Good night everyone! Kiss the “nape” of your loved one’s neck and walk away smiling.

By Cemeeli

January 31, 2008 5:01 PM | Link to this

Good dicussion in Blogland today…be easy everyone!

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 31, 2008 5:04 PM | Link to this

Shawty LO is my homeboy, I grew up in the hood. West side!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Staceye

February 1, 2008 9:50 AM | Link to this

6’1 girl you are nuts! I am over cracking up!

QC I realized I missed something after I sent my answer! I need to slow my row! LOL

Good night All!