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AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2008 > January > 30
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Dating strangers
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
So I went to see the film 27 Dresses, the uber sappy chick flick that was predictable but entertaining. One of the characters goes through great lengths to impress a man by basically lying about every single detail about herself. When she found out that he loved nature, she became NATURE GIRL. When she found out he was a vegetarian, she told him that she was too!!! Well…whenever he was around.
Can I just tell you that I laughed incredibly hard watching her?! Not because it was outrageously funny, though. I actually recognized my old self!. I was THAT girl. The must land the “keeper” guy by any means necessary type. Oh, I mastered the chameleon dating. If he had a type, I became that type, completely hiding my authentic self. I was going to be that trophy girlfriend and I was going to do it with a smile. It’s funny NOW, but at the time, it was exhausting. Who can keep up the pretense?
Needless to say, it never works. It doesn’t take long to find out that the person you are dating is a stranger. Very unnerving and frustrating. It takes a lot of courage to be who you really are when you are dating someone. You just have to keep in mind that it is more gratifying to be yourself, flaws and all. Let the person see all sides of your personality and character…uh over a period of time, that is!
Have you ever dated someone who molded themselves into the person they thought you wanted? How did you know?
Do you think single people have difficulty being their authentic selves?
Whenever a guy asks me what I am looking for in a man, I have a stock answer ready. I’m not looking, he’s going to find me.
I won’t give any guy a blueprint of my ideal man so he can work to become him. Besides, the guy of my dreams is probably in Tibet somewhere, why bother dealing in fantasy?
Do single people still ask each other that loaded question: what are you looking for? If so why? If you have been asked this question before, how do you respond?
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