Misadventures in Atlanta

By SlimOne

January 30, 2008 8:11 AM | Link to this

Good Morning I can’t say I recall a guy ever trying to be everything I said I liked in a guy. Some folks may have a hard time being their authentic selves, however with me what you see is what you get. I don’t have the energy to keep up a facade for the sake of you liking me. Yes, folks still ask what you’re looking for. For me it just depends on the person because none of the guys I’ve dated were alike…except they all had a sense of humor, which is important to me.

By Cherry

January 30, 2008 8:31 AM | Link to this

Hey…Im a somewhat lurker & I really enjoy reading you all….Question:Do u guys really like it when your girl waits on you hand & foot sort of speak….Just curious…..My guy really doesnt have to lift a finger when Im around so Im wondering is that too much on my part…Thanks

By T-Mango

January 30, 2008 8:36 AM | Link to this

Personally, I welcome the question “What are you looking for?” It gives me the opportunity to tell him that I want to build a friendship first. However, I can also state outright that I ultimately desire to be involved in monogamous relationship with a marriage minded man. Therefore, if he is looking simply for the next “hit” with minimal investment in me as a person…I’m not the woman for him. I think that question is a chance to see if you are on the same page in terms of the type of relationship you want in basic terms. By building a friendship…you learn the details in time.

On the flip side, WD I understand what you mean by not “looking for a man.” I’m not either in the sense that I have a profile up on multiple singles or social networking sites, or feel the need to hit up every singles event because I want to increase my chances of meeting someone. I just go about my daily business and do what I enjoy. While doing that maybe I’ll meet someone with similar interests to build a friendship with which may lead to more.

Have a great day-

By melo

January 30, 2008 8:55 AM | Link to this

When i was dating, it was the other way round, we would find the girl and she will try and be the girl i want to put in the home.Its till today.Guys have to man up, do the chase and let the girl know u want them.Leave it to them to spoil the show or get in line.Once u adopt that attitude guys, u will be well supplied with potential suitors.Its up to u to make the right call. Do u guys really like it when your girl waits on you hand & foot sort of speak Yes and No.U obviously luv him but give him some space to receiprocate and do the same to u.Otherwise u are setting urself for a sdrious heartbreak.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

January 30, 2008 8:55 AM | Link to this

Morning All!

Since I am divorce, I get asked alot if I will marry again. That seems to preceed any other questions, once I disclose my status. Now I do ask men what qualities they are looking for in a potential mate and where they stand right now (cut buddy, LTR, etc).

SlimOne I agree, I am not trying to keep up a front! A relationship is work enough without adding any uneccesary pressures.

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 8:57 AM | Link to this

Good morning all. Sorry to hijack the blog so early with a dating vent.

Fellas: If a girl gives you her number, it’s intended for you to CALL her. What is up with this texting nonsense, especially if actual conversations are few to NONE? We all know that conversation over text is even more prone to misunderstanding because you can not guage TONE. So why set yourself up for failure out the gate?

Besides, we are not 15 and share mutual love for Hannah Montana. Grow up. This is particularly distressing to have this happen from dudes over 35. :-/

Vent over - So what’s the topic today? LOL

By 2CPTG©

January 30, 2008 9:03 AM | Link to this

morning….Diva???? you??? molding yourself to be “that” girl? Now, that is funny!!!!

No, Cherry, it can become annoying, to say the least; however, moderation is the key…

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 9:10 AM | Link to this

Mornin People - Not changing for no one, I dont mind hearing what a girl is looking for. Cause if she has a very relaxed answer then we have something in common. If she pulls out the list… then it could be downhill from there.

Cherry -What up! Do u guys really like it when your girl waits on you hand & foot sort of speak….Just curious…..My guy really doesnt have to lift a finger when Im around so Im wondering is that too much on my part… YES! But you really dont have to trust me. Its the fact that you’re willing to do the lil stuff for me that drives me nuts so yeah its a good look. However if you man has even the slightest hesitation when it comes time for him to step up and be there for you, it may be too much. When you need him most and he is unavailable then it is time to stop. But if you’re both happy and doing for each other than keep up the good work!!

perhaps you should think about writing a book: How to Guide

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 30, 2008 9:13 AM | Link to this

@Wise Lurker Long sigh…

Whenever a guy asks me what I am looking for in a man, I have a stock answer ready. I’m not looking, he’s going to find me.

Unless you have been living under a rock, do you realize that there are more women single now than ever? Do you realize that there are fewer men on this earth than women? Do you realize that there are more professional women 5-1 for every professional man? Do you realize we have the lowest marriage rate in 2008, than we have ever had? Do you realize that most women all want the same ‘5’ dudes?

With all of the above said, I think in coming years it will be more like the woman will find the best man for her situation, not the other way around! With that said, get out of the fantasy and jump into reality and think outside the box.

I won’t give any guy a blueprint of my ideal man so he can work to become him. Besides, the guy of my dreams is probably in Tibet somewhere, why bother dealing in fantasy?

You lost me on this one! Why would you not want to help a potential better get to know you? In every other situation I can think of you work as a team and you help each other with the building process, so why would you not want to assist someone with getting to know you better?

Do single people still ask each other that loaded question: what are you looking for? If so why? If you have been asked this question before,how do you respond?

Unfortunately,yes! It amazes me when someone asks this question to me,as I usually always just look at them like they have three heads!

My usual answer is why do you think I am looking and I usually get a blank stare and a moment silence.

I have found that when you go looking,you never find what you think you want and most people don’t truly know what they want, they think they have an idea or a fantasy of what they think they want.

It is like shopping,you always want what you can’t have,but buy what you can afford!

By DasV

January 30, 2008 9:15 AM | Link to this

good morning good ppl

Kudos yet again oWiseOne for the direction of dialogue today. I agree: “chameleon dating” never works… for the reason you stated, and I will add a 2nd one….. Because someone looking to fit in does the pursuing, and if it’s the woman then she throws the whole scheme off course. She cant be woo’d cause she is too busy investigating what she needs to be to keep his interest.

I am not totally against finding out what someone wants in a relationship and making the attempt to, on some levels, accommodate their reasonable unspoken requests…. But Janis Joplin said it best: Don’t compromise self. You are all you got. And in the end, that is very true.

By Beautiful

January 30, 2008 9:16 AM | Link to this

good morning cali! i see you 900.

Cherry your fine, but it’ll get old fast.

By Str8

January 30, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

LOL @ Diva - I am having a hard time imagining that you were once “that gal”… LOL

Yes, I have dated “that gal”… you can tell when someone rarely disagrees with your views/opinions/ways regardless of how outrageous they might be or even goes ahead and starts adopting habits from you and you know are not positive just to try to be like you!

and about the loaded question “what are you looking for?”… it has it’s place in the first couple of dates, it can help you know what the other person values (even though the answers tend to be exagerated)… but still it tells you something about the other person, not to mention that the answers can open up news topics of conversation that can help both of you understand each other.

But there is not substitute of spending time and getting to know someone over time and in different environments

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 30, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Morning, everyone. :-)

Cherry To your earlier question, there are two ways you could look at it, think:

1. You’re just naturally “wired” as an “acts of service” person. Meaning, you garner a great deal of personal satisfaction from being able to do things for your mate. I’d suggest you look back over your life (and relationships) to see if this pattern of behavior is something you have exhibited in the past. If so, I wouldn’t look at it as being “too much” at all, but as one component of what makes you who you are.

2. Become sensitive to how your mate is “receiving” the fact that he “doesn’t have to lift a finger when you’re around”. If that seems to frustrate him, you may want to back off a bit and leave some things for him to do himself or he may start to feel you’re being controlling. Conversely, you could always start asking him if he’d like you to do this or that for him.

Just my two cents. ;-)

By pisces08

January 30, 2008 9:17 AM | Link to this

Morning All. @ARed, dude should have looked at you and knew you didn’t roll like that. Poor judgement. On topic, it’s ok to bend a little, but mostly just be yourself. @HAND & FOOT, easy on that… ^5 the reciprocate comment. I’m out to lurksville….

By DasV

January 30, 2008 9:24 AM | Link to this

Cherry do you feel you are doing/giving too much?? that is the real question. I will however offer this: I had a convo with a fellow blog bruh and shared with him something I was willing to do in a past relationship (not in the bedroom, not even close - - - more like at the dinner table) and he was impressed…. Said it was a ‘turn on’. So yea I think that waiting hand and foot on a male is appealing to them….

Conversely though it may just be an ego-trip which has the potential to go very bad. power trips are never good

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 9:29 AM | Link to this

Now onto today’s topic. One of my strengths is that I’m very adaptable and I’m willing to try new things. Because of that, I go with the flow and don’t object to things my mate wants to do. However, I had to find a balance because I found myself always doing the things he wanted to do and none of the things I was into. I definitely felt at times that I was losing myself. I had visions of a guy trying to shop for me and having no clue what to get me because he really didn’t know what I liked. There is a scene in The Joy Luck Club that talks about this.

Now I’m still down to do whatever, but I also make sure I voice my opinion on the matter as well.

By DasV

January 30, 2008 9:35 AM | Link to this

blog bruhs i have a question along the lines of Ared’s vent (thanks for sharing btw)… if you give me your number, why not put yourself out there and ask for mine?? cause now you have me ‘making the first move’ and thats suppose to be on you, right??

By SeanJohnson3000

January 30, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog…only question i need to know in requards to what you are looking for is…are you looking for something casual or long term/serious….dont have the time to pretend to be some ficticious character that is a combination of your favorite actor/ball player slash rapper…i come as iz..

@Cherry…keep it simple..like leaving a plate in the oven or microwave for us…scratching and greasing our scalp once a week…dont asked to many questions when the game is on..etc…anything overboard and you seem more like a “momma”…and u are his woman not is momma..

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 30, 2008 9:36 AM | Link to this

WD ..I’m not looking, he’s going to find me…”

Not being funny, but this sounds like the tag line to some new female fragrance. I can almost see it now….cue the harp music

(as a close-up of the smart, sexy and single, Wise Diva moves slowly from left to right on my Phillips 37” LCD HDTV)

Male voiceover:“Wise Diva. The new fragrance from L’Oreal.”

Female voiceover whispers: “Wiiiise Divaaaaa…”

Male voiceover: “The fragrance that tells him you’re not looking, he’ll find you.”

Female voiceover whispers: “Wiiiise Divaaaa….”

Male voiceover: “No need to look any longer, ladies. Let him follow the fragrance of…”

“Female voiceover whispers: “Wiiiise Divaaaaa….”

(Close-up of Wise Diva fades)

By SexyLeggs

January 30, 2008 9:39 AM | Link to this

Good morning everyone. Wow, to mold myself to the guy = I’ve never done that. I understand what you’re saying WD, I just couldn’t be anything but myself. I cuss, and if I dated a guy that didn’t like cussing, I wouldn’t tell him I didn’t do it all. Shyt, by doing that cuss words would be leaking out my mouth left and right.

I’m not stuck in one personality. I love trying new things and would usually try just about anything once. Bring it on and let’s see if my personality and beliefs can adjust. If not, I’ll continue to be me and move on.

ARed, you got mail.

By Rell

January 30, 2008 9:40 AM | Link to this

Me assimilate for the pleasure of being with a women…NEVER…lol…hell half the time it is enough to find someone that can put up with me…lol..i am a handful at times..so no clone here…i look for the women cut for me….

@ared….he texting you because he is busy or thats how he deals with his other women…feel me…to me textin is a lazy form of communication..

ooo yea whats folks

By Lady Dark w/Dimples

January 30, 2008 9:43 AM | Link to this

Do you think single people have difficulty being their authentic selves?

No, I think insecure people have difficulty being their authentic self. I have a female friend who said that if her husband knew who she really was he wouldn’t like her. The moment you give up your desires/likes to please someone else the question begs itself…do you know who you really are?

What are you looking for? If so why? If you have been asked this question before, how do you respond?

Of course and that is a very valid question that should continue to be asked. On v-103 this morning they were talking about can a cut-buddy ever graduate to real relationship. There were several responses from callers that stated the key is to be honest about what you’re looking for every step of the way.

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 9:45 AM | Link to this

DasV - Good question. This happens to me too. But I tell them upfront that if they give me their number, I’m not going to call…I DIDN’T STEP TO YOU. LOL.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 30, 2008 9:46 AM | Link to this

Das “if you give me your number, why not put yourself out there and ask for mine?? cause now you have me ‘making the first move’ and thats suppose to be on you, right??”

I disagree. As I seeit, if I’ve voluntarily given you my contact numbers, that was the first move, not you calling me. So, in fact, the first move was still on me. Your calling me is the second move.

By 2CPTG©

January 30, 2008 9:47 AM | Link to this

SexyLegs you like to cuss??? Why am I getting a crazy visual over here…….

By Beautiful

January 30, 2008 9:49 AM | Link to this

Ared on texting. if the guy just sends text messages, then he ain’t into you. and he probably showing off in front of whoever is in front of him at the time. if it’s mixed up alittle with text and conversation, then it’s a go.

By Jazzyone

January 30, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

Morning ya!..I can honestly say that yes thruout this growth in my life I would tend to open myself up to a guy and his interests etc to see if I could possibly connect with him in different areas. I tend to meet men who can appreciate some of my interests and are willing to indulge or become part of..otherwise dating can be so boring and drudge filled..

Yes I have dated from time to time people who aren’t who they say they are and don’t put their true selves out there..A few i’ve found the scale is so tipped in who they really are that integrity and character were in question and I had to move on..I do believe that some of the small things can be overlooked..For me tho core of a person, his idealology, character, foundation are things I tend to not be able to overlook..

I love me and like who ive become as a woman, so I try to be myself and put myself out there in truth to save us both self inflicted pain and drama..

I prefer a man to know who and what he is dealing with becasue my time is valuable and so is his. I would prefer a man that can do the same..be genuine, no fronts not drama just be you and I can deal allot better cause thats who im putting forth the real jazzyone…

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

Rell - I completely agree. Text has gotten dudes extra lazy. Especially if we don’t know each other well, why would you text me? How do you ever know I have that feature on my phone?

If you want to get ignored, send me a text as your primary means of communication. You’ll get *crickets * LOL

By melo

January 30, 2008 9:51 AM | Link to this

Ared in response to ur qs,he may have just misread u.A call back to his number immediately, with a smile and *why u texting,instead of calling * will result in a blush on his part and back on point.Just ignore it but let him know u prefer one on one(if u wanna give him a chance, that is)

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 9:53 AM | Link to this

Beautiful - whats buzzun cuz’n? You all right today? Listen its time to stop all this hip-hop beef and come 2gether girl! Me and you could be the spark that starts the revolution!! Sista are you with me?!?!

ARed If a girl gives you her number, it’s intended for you to CALL her. What is up with this texting nonsense - I cant shed much light on the texting thing cause I just cant seem to get into it. So your frustration is valid. However, perhaps you may have given off a vibe that you were taken. I can say that I got a girls # 2wks ago that I thought was Nice, however she seemed taken, in a hurry to get back to her man. So I never called, I messed around with too many Girlfreinds of somebody else in ‘07. I guess Im getting old… the clean up man is tired

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 9:55 AM | Link to this

LOL Beautiful I wasn’t asking for advice. I know what texting is and what it means. It’s just a vent because it’s happening more and more often.

I’m just amazed at the audacity. They literally go above and beyond to meet you (cuz with me you might have to make more than one approach) just to end up sending you a text. Very counter productive!

By Wise Diva

January 30, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

@ Mr.2 and Str8

I know, it’s so NOT the person I am today, right? I tell ya, queen of dating mistakes. It really is funny, thinking back to when I busted my tale being a “poseur”. The biggest facade was when I pretended that I loved to exercise, LOL. Dating that dude had me in the best shape of my life but I couldn’t openly admit to him that I adore being on the sofa with a book eating ice cream!

By Staceye

January 30, 2008 9:56 AM | Link to this

Morning all

ARED girl who peed on your parade? LOL Woosa!

LL in my case about not giving the blueprint….is because I can show you the real me more so than I can tell you. I mean…I can say what I like in a guy. I can also say things I like and do not like to do. But to really know me, you have to be around me. Do not judge a book by its cover is an understatement!

Cherry I’m no dude…but I think if you wait on your man hand and foot…he will take you for granted. You are not his mom and her is not 10. Now I am not saying that you should never do things for him. Sometimes surprise him with a pamper night….where you do everything for him. Just do this in moderation. I think he will appreciate it. Guys, please let me know if I am wrong…this is just my female opinion.

By SexyLeggs

January 30, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

2C, not that I “like to”, more like I DO. I only use 3 words and I stay clear of the “F” word. I’ll only go there when I’m hopping mad.

Cherry, I have a married friend that still (30 years later) takes the chicken off the bone for her husband. I always thought this was a bit much, but to each his own. If you’re comfortable w/waiting on him hand an foot do it. It’s something I couldn’t do, but we are all cut from a different piece of cloth.

By Tater

January 30, 2008 9:57 AM | Link to this

WD

Do you really wonder why dating in Atlanta stinks? Your previous dating life started off with complete lies about who you were (are).

I’m sooo glad that my honey is from another State.. I can’t take the lying Atlanta crowd anymore..

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 10:00 AM | Link to this

melo - I will not contact him at all until he grows a pair. Period. I’m not hurting for dates!

900k - I did give him a hard time at first, because his come on line was a little lame, but he was nice. I let him know by the time we parted that I looked forward to and would welcome his call. I suspect he’s trying to play it casual because he came on so strong initially, but it backfired if that’s his agenda.

By Rell

January 30, 2008 10:04 AM | Link to this

@dasv/ared….For me if i give a women my number and tell her to call me..is a test or let me say to see if she is willing to invest time into me…so yea give me a call…why do i have to give you a call first..hell i made the first move…you can meet me half way…i mean if we are going to power struggle over a simple phone call..then i know what i am dealing with…and it will be short lived…again folks make dating to hard with there comfort checklist….no invest in me, like i am doing with you and we will both be happy

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 30, 2008 10:05 AM | Link to this

Staceye “Just do this in moderation. I think he will appreciate it. Guys, please let me know if I am wrong…this is just my female opinion.”

I wouldn’t say you’re “wrong”, necessarily but, per my earlier post, I would defer to Cherry’s mate in determining whether or not she should “moderate” her behavior. After all, her “hand and foot” approach could very well be a healthy thing if it keeps his “love tank” full and, consequently, motivates him to reciprocate in ways that fill hers as well. It is possible that this is a win/win for all involved.

By cherry

January 30, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

Thanks u all for the comments…..The funny thing is I never did this before but then again Im feeling things I never did before…Im not to overbearing with it(like a mama) He makes me happy so I dont mind…so as long as he continues I will continue…until then….Thanks again…

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 10:06 AM | Link to this

Staceye - Girl, it’s becoming an epidemic! I had a guy text me for a date a week ago, he got ignored. Now this! I’m not the one!

But because I ignore the texts, I can’t tell them off, so you guys get the vent. LOL!

By Wise Diva

January 30, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

pardon me, I meant to say Good MORNING!

Thanks DasV

@ LL..long sigh
I think in coming years it will be more like the woman will find the best man for her situation, not the other way around .. say what now? Let’s say I find said “best man”, am I to spend my time convincing him that he is in fact, the best man for me? No, I want him to know, with full certainty, so yeah, he’s gonna have to find ME. I was raised on the bible: He who finds a good wife, finds a good thing. Now, what fantasy am I in again?

Believe me, that if the man doesn’t find me, it wasn’t meant to be, so what despair can I have over it? Life’s too short and precious to stress about it.

By Jazzyone

January 30, 2008 10:07 AM | Link to this

If a man gives me his number I don’t have an issue with whos going to call who and all that…If you had the inclination to give me your number there is a bases of interest there and I will call to find out if we should make some moves or if its not worth my time or his..so no issues there..I consider myself to be a mature adult and don’t have time for P**y pat games dealing with a man…insecurity is not one of my character traits….

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 10:11 AM | Link to this

Das -* if you give me your number, why not put yourself out there and ask for mine?? cause now you have me ‘making the first move’ and thats suppose to be on you, right??* You’re reading a lil too far into this one. The 1st move has already been made, he approached you then engaged you with convo and then gave you his number in case you would like to continue the convo later. I’ve done this alot myself. 1st off it stop the whole crazy 1st phone call: “Hello Das this 900!” 900 who, where I know you frum? 900 wit tha red car??? Also when you call I know that its a great time for You to talk and the convo flows great. Ladies get tied up so when you hit me I know you have the time to speak and trust me I will always make time for you. Lastly, believe it or not Grown Azz women will still give their number out Repeatedly while out and about as if it means nothing to them, so I know when you call me it Means sumtin… ya dig?

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 30, 2008 10:12 AM | Link to this

@Staceye That’s kewl and I can respect your comments, but to just have a dude out there hanging and not give him some basic things to work with and a plan is crazy in my opinion!

Any woman I meet, I will give her basic things I like, I don’t like, my views on most things,how I roll, how I flow,how I get down,where she stands with me, etc., but to have a dude out there starting a new job with no direction is crazy and you settin him up to fail!

Give the cat some tools to build that foundation or he will never be able to do his job!

By Rell

January 30, 2008 10:14 AM | Link to this

@Tater…lying atlanta crowd…again fellas….up ya game….of course there are scallywags out here..but do they count no…should you get tender if a bust down rebuffs your advances…HELL NO….she prolly doing you a favor…just move on to the next one….i am not understanding this new sensitivity in men…i mean they act like every chick is suppose to be upfront, honest or in to them….geesh…

@ared…again guys only approach women after reading the body language..so he prolly sat and watched you for a second then he devised a plan and stepped to you on what he say….so if you getting guy s coming at you crazy..thats because of the vibe you give off…feel me…soften your stance to attract what you want…really it works..because if i see a chick shooting down all the guys, then i will go at one of her girls first…then i will on a limited basis engage the one i want…at the sametime i am really treating her like one of the homies…at the same time i am showing her girl a great…but i am making sure to engage them both in light banter..this is called creating triangles..this way i can indirectly get info on her with out the drama..and from this triangle the one that is really into me will emerge…trust me fellas creating triangles work….i do it all the time…i will never directly approach a chick with the machine gun out..i will get at her girls first and then work my way to her…feel me

By BINFORD2K8

January 30, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

Being authentic doesn’t get you many second dates - I know. I have a strong personality and most women don’t get it at first.

It takes a special woman (and by special I may mean the short bus) to get me :)

But hey, I stay close to my roots and keep it real. The future ex-Mrs. Binford knows this!

By Beautiful

January 30, 2008 10:17 AM | Link to this

AmazonRed ooops, sorry. i should have read your ? better than i did. but maybe it’s just me, cause i don’t see anything wrong with text messages. as long as their short and sweet. i have a friend in CA that doesn’t like any of the new technology that’s out there. but yet i see her on IM all the time. anyways, what i’m tryin’ to say is the guy is used to texting everyone including his friends, family, etc. everyone does it. the next time someone you dont mind spending time with textes you, just simply text back and say you dont text and to please call instead. within 30 seconds, he’ll be on the line.

By DasV

January 30, 2008 10:18 AM | Link to this

darrell i see what you sayin… but are you hearing me and Ared?? we dont consider you giving us your number as a first move…. mostly cause there is nothing to it. calling someone requires thought, more than extending a hand to someone….

By Jazzyone

January 30, 2008 10:20 AM | Link to this

You know dating isn’t that hard just go with it..be you..tell a man what type of man you enjoy in your space..tell him who you are up front and what direction and path you would like to travel down..either he can travel with you down that path and create a foundation..or you both can travel light if the path is not suitable to either parties…

Don’t get all emotionally involved on the first date or vision him at the alter in your mind or spending his money etc..just do you, be you..catch more bees with honey baybeh not smoke…

A real woman or man will step to you and let you know what they want if they are in the zone of trying to get the one they want…nothing and no one keeps a man away from a woman he wants trust it ..and If i want him in my zone..I am upfront and let him know…

By SexyLeggs

January 30, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Rell, you’re the second male to talk about the “traingle.” A friend hipped me to this years ago. Personally, I think it’s a great plan for those who know how to use it effectively.

By Staceye

January 30, 2008 10:21 AM | Link to this

Wise Diva have you ever watched that show Half and Half? There was an episode where Lil’ Dee-Dee was so into this guy and he was a fitness/health nut. I mean hiking, running a lot of miles, you name it. Well Dee-Dee ran herself ragged trying to keep up with him. Her whole body was sore and finally she had to tell the truth and she broke down and scarfed down a platter of wings in the end!

I think I tried chameleon things once. There was this really cute guy and his family was really religious. I ment they were true bible thumpers! Let’s just say we lasted all of 2 weeks. They people pray before any move was made…in car, before they got out of the car, in their destination, back in the car, and when they made it home. Im sure God himself wanted to reach down and back smack them and tell them, enough already”! The lesson learned….always just be you! Now tell that to these fake ballers. You know the dude that spent his rnt money to get a VIP section at the club and pop bottles. The shiney chromed out Benz that the valet parked up front it rented. Notice how he will not dance because he does not want to break a sweat in that designer outfit because the tag is still in it and he will hang it up and frebreeze it to take it back to the store for a refund. Oh and when he comes to meet up with you for the first date…he will arrive early so you do not see him park his hooptie (which is his real whip). Oh yeah and that nice dinner he paid for on your first date…girl just know he will be sitting in the dark because that was his GA Power money! Do let him fool you on…you go to his crib and its all candlelit. It’s not him setting the ambience…

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 30, 2008 10:23 AM | Link to this

Tater “I’m sooo glad that my honey is from another State.. I can’t take the lying Atlanta crowd anymore..”

What the…?! How you could interpret what WD was saying as “lying” is absurd. If you understand the concept of context, then how can you possibly accuse her of that? And speaking of “context”, if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear your comment implies that lying in relationships is limited only to the Atlanta area. LOL!

By melo

January 30, 2008 10:24 AM | Link to this

so if you getting guy s coming at you crazy..thats because of the vibe you give off…feel me I feel u dawg.If u carry urself like a tramp, the pimps will be hovering around yo azz.And u knw this mayne…..

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 10:26 AM | Link to this

Rell - Guys don’t come at me crazy. And dudes here don’t talk to my girls first. Most likely I’m rolling with only one anyway.

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 10:29 AM | Link to this

Beautiful - I see your point but that’s not me. It’s the lowering of standards that have gotten these dudes lazy in the first place. He’s a big boy and unless his finger is broken, he knows how to dial the phone. If he doesn’t get the hint when I don’t return his text, then it probably wouldn’t have gone anywhere anyway.

By Beautiful

January 30, 2008 10:30 AM | Link to this

A real woman or man will step to you and let you know what they want if they are in the zone of trying to get the one they want…

^5

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 30, 2008 10:32 AM | Link to this

Das “darrell i see what you sayin… but are you hearing me and Ared?? we dont consider you giving us your number as a first move…. mostly cause there is nothing to it. calling someone requires thought, more than extending a hand to someone….”

Yeah, I see what you’re both saying, but, as I see it, this is whole “who-calls-whom-first” thing is the equivalent of relationship semantics. In other words, why bother getting bogged down in the various definitions of “first move”, when the more important issue is that moves were made in the first place - period - regardless of the sequence you give it. This is the kind of thing that hinders relationships - people are so “textbook” about it.

By Staceye

January 30, 2008 10:35 AM | Link to this

Binford there is absolutely nothin worng witha strong personality! You know what you wanta dn don’t want. You say what you feel and feel what you say. I have the same personality and I feel if you can’t deal with it, then you are not the one for me anyway! I need a guy with a spine! LOL

* I have a question…why do guys say you look unapproachable? I mean I have had guy tell me I look so mean and like I will snap a guy’s head off. I think that is just the way NY woman look period! LOL Help me out Sexyleggs!*

By Rell

January 30, 2008 10:37 AM | Link to this

@staceye…you sure can pick em huh…lol, my god no wonder you walking around shell shocked…lol

@ared…dudes dont do it..because they dont know…and if it only one..then she will get my attention FIRST..and i will think about engaging you if you act right..but if you have your azz on your shoulders..then you get the gas face..trust me alot of dudes really dont think it thru..they just in or feel like they need the flash or wallet to get or keep a womens attention..i may have forgotten to tell you but you are speaking to a vet in the “game” hon..so i am spitting to you pre-game…trust you would not know when the play is going down…i have worked the triangle to many times for you to even think of degrading it

@melo..cosign…

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 10:39 AM | Link to this

Darrell/Rell - Don’t get me wrong I completely see your point. In the grand scheme of things, the power struggle over a phone call can definitely hinder relationships. You know…what’s the big deal right?

Well, the big deal for me is that I want a man who sees what he wants and is not afraid to go for it and put himself out there. He’s the man, right? He’s the leader? I’m not going to make it difficult for him, but I don’t think you taking my number and actually using it is asking a lot. I don’t need you “testing” if I’m interesed in you. I don’t know you. And I didn’t approach you. It’s your job to contact me and then we start the give and take.

The concept of men courting ladies is completely foreign today. Lucky for me there are still men who get it, or I might never date again. LOL

By Wise Diva

January 30, 2008 10:41 AM | Link to this

I think Tater meant that there are extreme posers in Atlanta, and although I was not living here in my chameleon dating days, I definitely have had my experiences with men who are GREAT PRETENDERS.

Darrell, LOL @ that 9:36 comment, I see you got jokes?

By Rell

January 30, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

@Staceye…again re-read what i typed to ared….dudes are hunters..so they watch your body language before they approach..if you look closed off..either they are going to come crazy or not at all..but if you look receptive to a lil convo then he will come respectful…if not shy…ya know no direct eye contact..voice low….i mean what is wrong with some light idle chatter or a simple hello…and if there is no chemistry say that…men like honest feedback..trust me…but that is just my POV on this issue

By melo

January 30, 2008 10:43 AM | Link to this

if you give me your number, why not put yourself out there and ask for mine?? some dudes do that coz they dont like rejection in their face in case they ask for it and u say ill call u or no Best thing is for u to offer it once the ice is broken or not to, if u not feeling him.

By Tazzee

January 30, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

Morning all!

Now that’s the LL I remember, LOL!

I’ve never been ‘that’ girl, but I have done some stupid stuff in the past in order to get the guy. I’ve also had guys try to be what I said I was looking for in a man. Now when men and women (trying to hook me up with a man) ask what I want in a mate - I always tell them that I know what I DON’T want (dated them before) and I’ll know what I want when I see it.

AmazonRed I feel you on your dating rant. It’s funny because my local phone doesn’t have text messaging - I turned it off. So it’s funny when a guy tells me he’s been texting me. I can’t stand when folks text as the first form of communication.

By For Real

January 30, 2008 10:44 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!

On topic: As the Isley Brother said Don’t change, don’t change

Wise If you are not looking and the dude you are suppose to meet is not looking how can he find you. This is the “Mixed Message” that men get from women. I am a strong independent women and I don’t need……. (fill in the blank). Then you turn around and say, a man will fine me, a man must make the first move (which according to some women means the first, second, third, fourth etc.) a man must know that this particular chick doesn’t like to be texted when the last 5 chicks did, a man must know me without me saying anything…. Then women say, if he does not find then I guess the Good Lawd didn’t want it to be. So, what about the bible phrase that says someting like “for every step you take God takes two steps”. So, if you don’t do your part in finding a good man dont’ blame it on “there ain’t no good men left” and please don’t blame it on God.

For Real now looking for his Rob Base greatest hit cd.

Which is it?

By BINFORD2K8

January 30, 2008 10:45 AM | Link to this

Stacyeye A lot of people in the world are shy and don’t speak up and don’t care for people who will say whatever they want (though I have gotten better and more tactful with age) when they want.

To answer your question, if you are not smiling and are wearing that perpetual “Northeastern Scowl”, it makes you unapproachable. Men want to feel invited in and so we look for a smile or a playful gesture to give us the green light. I, for one, am not walking in to what could be a warzone. I need to know a woman wants me to approach instead of warding me off with the death look!

By kimmie

January 30, 2008 10:46 AM | Link to this

Staceye - Guys say that about me too, the whole “unapproachable” thing. I hate it! It’s not limited to NY women either, I’m from the A. I know I tend to look serious when I am busy doing my thing and thinking about the things I have to do or are doing. But I’m not going to run around looking like Suzy Sunshine all the time. I HATE IT when dudes come up & say SMILE! I think the whole unapproachable thing stems from their own insecurity. They may not have the balls to approach a good-looking confident woman! Other people don’t have a problem approaching me, what’s up with you?! Most folks will just strike up a conversation or I’ll strike up one and it’s done, I’m a pleasant-enough person! Don’t have time to bother with those who feel they can’t approach me, I guess they missed out:)

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 30, 2008 10:48 AM | Link to this

Amazon “I’m not going to make it difficult for him…”

Then I have no problem with that. That’s all I would ever ask of you anyway.

Diva “Darrell, LOL @ that 9:36 comment, I see you got jokes”

Glad you took it the right way. Just tryin’ to lighten it up around here, that’s all. ;-)

By Staceye

January 30, 2008 10:50 AM | Link to this

rell I am very outgoing. I am very friendly. I speak to strangers…even though mami said not to. I used to have conversations with the homeless people in the train station. But people judge me based on what they see..so I do not get the chance. However at the gym I must look more approachable. Now that is when I really want to be left alone!

By SexyLeggs

January 30, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

Staceye, here’s a little food for thought. When I first arrived in the ATL at the ripe young age of 19 I was a true NYer. Fast talker, sassy mouth, always had my arms folded across my chest when talking to folk and not smiling much. It’s something we just didn’t do. I too was told I was always mean looking and unapproachable. I don’t know how long you’ve been here, but it will eventually burn itself away. By that I mean the true, sweet side of you will emerge if it’s in there. We are hardened by our environment and neigborhoods in NY (if you’re in the city). Yet, you don’t have to remain hardened. You’re not ready to let your butterfly emerge just yet. Being independent keeps your guard up and the brick wall up. Believe you me, I know all too well. Unlike you, I was receptive to love and didn’t run from it. In time, you will shine, just like I now shine!

By DasV

January 30, 2008 10:51 AM | Link to this

CLARIFICATION

heres how it went… cause blog-fam got me “insecure” and “textbook” and “complicated” etc etc…..

i went to a card party and ended up playin scrabble… OK. cool. im versatile. drinkin hindered everyones word flow and was funny about it… makin jokes and using ppls words in sentences that fit his observation of them… i laughed and had a wonderful time. throughout the game we would have snatches of ‘private’ dialogue… nothing serious though. at the end of the game (i won btw) he gave his business card to my gfriend and then one to me in case we ever need our carpets cleaned. he walks me to the door as we leave and helps me with my coat..then he takes my card back and writes his cell number on the back and his email address…so i can contact him whicheva way is convenient. huh??? that is a first move?! come’on ppl. i am sorry but that is just not good enough! call me textbook or complicated or insecure if you want to … but nah! it aint going down like that.

(sorry about the vent but ya’ll got me hawt!)LOL

By BLOW ME IS OFFICIALLY BLOWED & THROWED

January 30, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

Morning all

LMAO @ STACEYE……d@mn Ga power money or his baby mommas tax refund…the kid that he stole and never broke her off half! Lmao!

Being who you are is the best thing to be. There is no one better @ being YOU.

I never did or understood why ppl would want to change who they are …just so someone can like them better. I can never do it. My inner self would not allow such a thing. To not be “BLOW ME”…I’ll rather kill myself (in my southern twang) RATZ NOW. I love who I am.. I could change the physical a bit . But not the core and soul of who I am and what I believe in. You can only respect someone for who they really are. Faking and facades is just too much! If they don’t’ like oh well….they gonna not like you anyway no matter who you are or what you do. But definitely be true to yourself!

By Rell

January 30, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

@ared…so there is no trying new things with you huh…you see the point…well try it…..if i say hey ared give me a call tommorrow at 5pm….would you have a problem with that?….to me that would speak volumes on your level of cooperation and flexibility in this dating thing….feel me…lil power struggles like who calls first..from my experience..usually means you have a bigger power struggle coming

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

Rell - To clarify, I don’t walk around with my nose in the air. I love social functions because I like to talk and meet people. I’ll go on the dance floor and dance by my damn self! I keep a smile on my face and I strut around like I’m auditioning for Top Model! When I said I gave dude a hard time, it’s because he literally jumped in front of me mid-stride. So I ribbed him a bit for breaking my stride just to ask me my name!

Also I didn’t degrade the triangle. I just said it doesn’t happen to me. If you talk to my girl first, you’d better ask her for her number because you are now off-limits for me.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 10:52 AM | Link to this

why do guys say you look unapproachable? - Well Staceye some folks are just timid. I actually like to see a woman out on the town holdin it down, telling the beat-offs to beat it! thats a real turn on. Unlike some of the beatoffs in here who will tell you to soften your stance, I will approach with confidence (If you’re my type) and prob tell you that you aint that tuff with a smile of course. I dont like gullible type women who will fall for anything, jump into a car w/ a stranger or except a drink out of a guys hand instead of ordering it herself. So when I see you from accross the room ignoring the meatballs’ advances and not just speaking and hugging any and every guy who said hi to you. I’ll be right over… in other words I like them mean. Then I can tell my pops: I got a MEAN bytch! LoL

By 2CPTG©

January 30, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

“I’m glad my honey is from another state”

ya know, sometimes it’s hard to ignore dumb shyt….cause that right thurr…..don’t matta where you’re from, a fugaze is a fugaze anywhere!!!

By melo

January 30, 2008 10:53 AM | Link to this

Do let him fool you on…you go to his crib and its all candlelit. It’s not him setting the ambience… goes both ways Staceye, there are girls who look so fly in the streets, but have unkempt aprtments,go on borrowed clothes and sleep on makeshift beds.Its a juvenile move played by some adults in the dating game.

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 10:57 AM | Link to this

The very fact that when I put on heels I will be 6’2” will always make me unapproachable to certain men. I’m used to that. LOL

Darrell - I won’t make it difficult for to talk to me but I will make it known that I will not call you first. Do guys have a problem with that?

By For Real

January 30, 2008 10:58 AM | Link to this

Kimmie HATE IT when dudes come up & say SMILE! I think the whole unapproachable thing stems from their own insecurity. They may not have the balls to approach a good-looking confident woman!

I hope you truely don’t believe that. Please re-read what you wrote. Oh I have been called unapproachable too so I guess they may not have the CT to approach a good-looking confident man!

By BLOW ME IS OFFICIALLY BLOWED & THROWED

January 30, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

Melo WOW!! Is all I have to say at @ 10:53 am…but have unkempt aprtments,go on borrowed clothes and sleep on makeshift beds.Its a juvenile move played by some adults in the dating game Damn you just $H!TTED on em didn’t you?!?! But that’s real though…I have seen it with my own eyes. Trifling I must add

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 11:00 AM | Link to this

Rell - Yup. I’d tell you that you are more than welcome to call me and that I’ll look forward to your call. If you don’t I guess you weren’t flexible either. Goes both ways.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 30, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

Amazon “Darrell - I won’t make it difficult for to talk to me but I will make it known that I will not call you first. Do guys have a problem with that?”

As long as I know you won’t make me “work” to get to know you - as if it were a second job - then no, I do not have a problem with that. Not at all. Now, what’s your number?

LOL!

By Rell

January 30, 2008 11:06 AM | Link to this

@2..ya right a fugaze is a fugaze..and i see Mrs2k8 as me back in his dycksuckers again….

Mrs2k8…again homie…if you have something you would like to discuss..i gave you my info….the lil slick azz comments or references are not needed..remember the new direction…so again if you need to say something hit me on the sideline…and yea i told her to lighten up….she is a female so all that tough look straight face crap is lame and tired….nothing wrong with being friendly or receptive..and i can approach anyone..but why approach a women who looks like she needs to take a sh it or worrying about if she has enough in the account to feel me..

By Jazzyone

January 30, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

DasV Im not calling you anything if you are talking to me, this is how You do it so stand on it…some do it differently and view it different…Some of us are in a different place in many ways..no more or less just different…so if thats how you feel then thats how you feel…

By Wise Diva

January 30, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

wait a minute, who tossed out strong independent woman? looking at my previous posts - stop projecting that on to me, please.

I desire a mate. I would love to share my life. I am open and willing and ready. I just don’t feel compelled to hunt down a man, kick it in high gear with self-promotion, and convince him that I am THE ONE! I’m going to be me, and hope that he sees what I can bring to his life by my own merits. You know, in an actual relationship.

By melo

January 30, 2008 11:08 AM | Link to this

This is the kind of thing that hinders relationships - people are so “textbook” about it. in response to DasV’s qs. Darrell u so right! This is why women in their 35 plus age range get it.And also why those with Jazzy’s attitude will get men and other beautiful women are left on the side.Its Attitude.If u hanging urself over there looking important like Imelda Marcos, guys will admire u but leave u alone.Thats why guys will look at u as intimadating becoz u taking urself too seriously.Open and cheer up and talk and be flexible to give a number and get one from the dude.Dont overplay the rules of who call 1st and how u will be perceived.U are judged by how u behave when we together, not who called who 1st.Thats old. And Staceye that NY attitude is tired.This is GA.If u in Rome do what the Romans do,loosen up or get urself another transplant from NY! (why do these NYers who live in one roomed dingy places on the 99th floor of rat infested complexes have such high regard for where they from anyway?)

By For Real

January 30, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

Card party…..

Dude1: Man you see that chick over there?

Dude2: Which one?

Dude1: The one rocking those Jordache jeans with the fat strings, shell toe adidas.

D2: Ohhhh yeah she tight…

D1: I know but I don’t think I am going to talk to her.

D2: Why not?

D1: Not sure… she looks like the type of woman I want but I ain’t going to holla at her. I’m going to give her my phone number, my cell, my email address and my GPS locator so that she will know I ain’t feeling her.

Dude2 now looking at Dude1 with the Jimmy Walker face.

By BLOW ME IS OFFICIALLY BLOWED & THROWED

January 30, 2008 11:09 AM | Link to this

SEXY LEGGS@ 10:51a.m. That was really sweet and geniune. You are such a sweet heart…BIG WARM FUZZY HUG FOR LEGGS! LOL!

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 30, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

This is a tad bit off subject but here goes. Omigod, yesterday was my 30th b’day. I didn’t do anything, didn’t go anywhere. didn’t get anything. I went to neiman marcus and bought me a bag last night around 8:45 p.m. because I was so damn sad. Hell I could have paid my house note and car note with the money that I spent on the bag and sunglasses. But I was in my halle berry Monster Ball moments when I just needed to feel good. So when I get home my house was dark and being that i was so damn sad listening to Amy Winehouse Back to Black. I didnt pay any attention to the fact that the lights were out everywhere around me until I hit my garage door opener and nothing happened. I come to work to day in an outfit that is really not suitable for the corporate america, more like clubbing america, but I couldn’t find anything and i just wanted to get the heck out of that cold house. I have had a smile on my face since I woke up yesterday but I would like to thank you guys for making me laugh and smile especially Darrell @ 9:36 post. Thank you so much you guys!!!!!!

By Staceye

January 30, 2008 11:10 AM | Link to this

Kimmie thanks..at least I know it’s not just me. I have had guys walk up to me and say smile girl! I am break out laughing. I do not realize I am looking so mean!

Binford I can be Care Bears happy and people still say I look like I will cut them! LOL

Thanks for the insight Sexyleggs. One day I iwll let my guard down a smidgen.

Blow Me You are crazy girl!

900 aw gee…thanks! LOL

melo I feel you. I have recently cut off a chick like that. She was too fake for me man. She would go buy her hair weave and her kid walking around looking like who done it and why! Not to mention she lied about her job and made up fake cards saying that she is a dental assistant and she really is a dental receptionist. She tells dudes her car is in the shop…that chick ain’t had a car since 2004! Just fake! Not mention she keeps a nasty crib. How do you invite a dude over and have him stepping over crap..including your draws on the bathroom floor! Just plain ole trifflin’! LOL

ARED nah girl..by you being 6’2 in those heels the Lollipop kids will approach you! Why do the lil men go for that tall woman. What makes them think she wants a trial size man? LOL

By kimmie

January 30, 2008 11:14 AM | Link to this

For Real - Actually, I said it SOMEWHAT in jest:)! I say somewhat, because the guys that have said it are always the shy, insecure ones. Anyone that’s around me for even a minute knows I’m far from unapproachable! Those that have said that to me usually have issues themselves. Anyway, when I’m in a social setting, I don’t have on the serious mugg! I’ve still had these same dudes say I’m unapproachable, so I just chalk it up to their own insecurity! As for complete strangers coming up and telling me to smile, it’s just irritating! Once I was walking downtown in tears because I’d just found out my mother had cancer. A guy came up to me and said SMILE! Of course, he did not know my situation because he was a stranger, but it’s just so irritating! If I have my serious mugg on walking down the street because I have something on my mind, I could care less if I’m unapproachable to a stranger or not! I’ll still smile and speak to people I know & vise-versa.

By Tater

January 30, 2008 11:17 AM | Link to this

Rell

again fellas….up ya game….of course there are scallywags out here..but do they count no…should you get tender if a bust down rebuffs your advances…HELL NO….she prolly doing you a favor…just move on to the next one….i am not understanding this new sensitivity in men…i mean they act like every chick is suppose to be upfront, honest or in to them….geesh…

Up my game? Being honest with the person you are trying to date. Wow, what a concept. You really need to read some of the postings around here. It seems that all the women want honesty and openness and when the men ask for the same, geesh..

Darrell How you could interpret what WD was saying as “lying” is absurd. If you understand the concept of context, then how can you possibly accuse her of that?

Tell me Darrell, what do you call it? Presenting yourself as someone you are not is called (fill in the blank).

WD Thanks for getting it. Pretenders are on both sides of the fence :-))

By Beautiful

January 30, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

Do single people still ask each other that loaded question: what are you looking for?

for me at age 39, i must ask this question. i have to know if you just want the booty. back in the day, this question never came up.

By For Real

January 30, 2008 11:18 AM | Link to this

I am sorry to confuse you. My statement about independent did not come from your post. I was using to point out the “Mixed Message” that men get from women.

Now, “I desire a mate. I would love to share my life. I am open and willing and ready. I just don’t feel compelled to hunt down a man, kick it in high gear with self-promotion, and convince him that I am THE ONE!” However, you fully expect that man to do everything you are unwilling to do.

Did I read you right?

By BLOW ME IS OFFICIALLY BLOWED & THROWED

January 30, 2008 11:19 AM | Link to this

EWWWWWWWW @ STACEYE……

Girl THAT is too trifling! That is a hot mess!

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 30, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

6’1” Your 11:10 is one of the most honest and transparent posts I’ve seen on this blog. I’m just glad to know you survived at all because, normally, the combination of a sad demanor and Amy Winehouse don’t mix too well. LOL! Anyway, glad I could do my part to bring a smile to your face today. ;-)

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 30, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

@Wise Lurker Long sigh again..

Wise, it’s like this…If you do bump into that dude and you both feel that y’all the best for each others situation, then it’s all good, but the reality of today’s situations is that you are going to have to put in more werk on your end and I think more than you think!

I wish you the best and I am not ever gonna say that a great dude will not fall in some chicks laps, but I do think that a lot of women are living in a fantasy,about finding Mr. Right and how it is gonna go down!

The reality is that you are in your mid 30’s and not your mid 20’s. True that you are more in tune with your self than prolly you ever been. True that your career is prolly better than it has ever been. True that you may have yourself more together than you ever have been before, but you do have a shelf life and a dealt hand of cards, so you have to be more outgoing in regards to thinking outside of the box vs. waiting for Mr. Right to find you!

There are millions of women waiting for Mr. Right to find them, but the reality is that that dude is probably not out there to be found for a large percentage of women.

Do you, I wish you the best of luck, but you know Imma always keep it 100!

By BINFORD2K8

January 30, 2008 11:20 AM | Link to this

So Staceye has the EVIL EYE!

Reminds me of “The New Guy” were Eddie Griffin teaches the kid in prison to back people off with the EVIL EYE!

LOL “Care Bears happy” - thas funny. Do you need a hug?

By Rell

January 30, 2008 11:22 AM | Link to this

@SIXONE….Happy belated lady…..ya need to go do something this weekend…no one and i mean no one should be by themselves on there day….

By For Real

January 30, 2008 11:23 AM | Link to this

2E’s You have wild eyes! That could be why you are deemed unapproachable.

Kimmie If I have my serious mugg on walking down the street because I have something on my mind, I could care less if I’m unapproachable to a stranger or not! Thus, the reason why strangers say you are unapproachable. Oh and why does it always have to be the other person. Why can’t it be you sometimes?

Six-One I see you are in need of some Black Cake. What time should I bring it by?

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 30, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

Tater “Tell me Darrell, what do you call it? Presenting yourself as someone you are not is called (fill in the blank).” Let me start by telling you what I wouldn’t call it and that’s “lying”. At worst, Diva could be accused of trying too hard to conform to some image she thought the guy had of her, but still, I think her motives were true and that’s what I see as the overarching question here: Was it her intent to deceive him? I don’t think so, though I guess I could be wrong. By definition, ‘lying’ is the intent to deceive someone and I don’t think that’s what she was trying to do.

By The Truth

January 30, 2008 11:25 AM | Link to this

Melo I gotta disagree on pursuing women in this era. When you do that you give her the impression that she’s more valuable than you are. Really any cat with a lick of good convo can replace a chick but most of these women wont meet a dude of substance in this lifetime. She’s just not the prize she once was. No offence ladies. A good dude is the jewel and why would you go chase something easily replaceable. Now if she’s “the one” then she’s going to be at you as much as your at her. Its a natural thing. As for courting, why pay premium pricing for used up booty. Not you personally Ared but you know what mean. When guys courted women they hadn’t gone thru 20 guys and now looking for a sponsor. Times have changed.

Ared a non-threatening text message is a cool way to establish a line of commo without spending a great deal of time. He can feel you out by watching your replies.

Everyone acts like where they come from is better than the ATl. If so go back. I’m from Cali and to me Atlanta is miles ahead of that place. There are liars in Oakland, NY, Wyoming, and Perry Ga. The secret is to eliminate them as soon as you recognize what they are.

2C* lmao at ur 1053.

By Rell

January 30, 2008 11:28 AM | Link to this

you do have a shelf life and a dealt hand of cards, so you have to be more outgoing in regards to thinking outside of the box vs. waiting for Mr. Right to find you!

COSIGN!!!!

REAL SPIT

By For Real

January 30, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

Truth Everyone acts like where they come from is better than the ATl. If so go back. I’m from Cali and to me Atlanta is miles ahead of that place. There are liars in Oakland, NY, Wyoming, and Perry Ga.

Nuff said bruh!

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 30, 2008 11:30 AM | Link to this

I am 6’1 without heels and all I can say is that those little men like a dang on challenge. I use to hate the way it looked when it would be a tall girl and a short azz guy and when they tryied to talk to me i would say what can I do with you besides fold you up and carry you in my pocket all day? With heels I am like 6’4 and up and I love it. It intimidates the hell out of the guys but then again when it comes to me, I must say that only the strong survive.

By Jazzyone

January 30, 2008 11:33 AM | Link to this

You know I used ot be labelled as dayum she looks mean..but unbeknownst to me (is that a word?) I didn’t realize the type of aura and body language that I portrayed although I swore up and down I didn’t look mean and if I didn’t have anything to smile about I would be normal faced (which was kinda grim but didn’t know it)..

It starts in the mind if you have Possitive thoughts, have a genuine good feeling about yourself you willf ind that your body language will be more at eaze, your aura will project so brightly and your body language will soften..the flood gates open up with men if you are into that..trust it…

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 11:36 AM | Link to this

Seriously - How can a Grown Man ask a woman to “Soften up her stance???” No matter what she does homie her stance is Soft! She’s a Woman! Folks come on here and tell the fellas to “up their game”, then turn right around and tell the ladies to “lighten up and be more inviting so that I can approach you…” And this man told the Other Fellas to up their game??!!!!?

This is me keepin it light, I disagree with comments made then I tell you why… others simply throw darts

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

Thanks everyone for their candor today. Good discussion and side discussion. LOL

melo - Anyone can get a guy to approach them. Doesn’t matter how she carries herself. Doesn’t mean she has attitude or is unapproachable. Jazzy and I have a different approach and we both still get dates. More importantly we get dates from the TYPE of men we want to meet. If I don’t do the calling, then they guys I date will be comfortable calling me.

Some ladies over 35 “get it” according to the world of “melo” the others probably have lowered their standards cuz they can’t get anyone.

Truth - No offense taken because that’s not the type of woman I am or have ever been. Any dude who wants to “feel me out” will do so via phone. If she’s “the one” she will do whatever it is she does, just like you will do what you do.

Staceye - Shorties don’t approach me any more! It happened so much in Cali but not in Atl. I haven’t dated a man shorter than 6’2” since 2004. Oh yeah!

6’1” - Sorry your birthday didn’t work out the way you planned. Mine either. Glad you treated yourself. I treated me to some good pina colodas!

By mytwocents

January 30, 2008 12:06 PM | Link to this

WD I agree with you regarding the Blueprint … but I’m more than happy to provide a sketch. I may mention enjoying nature and finding wine tasty. I will not specifically state that a picnic in the park will propel your stock. Most of the fun for me is enjoying figuring each other out. Plus how can u discover things you hadn’t realized worked for u when you’re always going by the same formula. Which if it was successful in the 1st place, prob wouldn’t still be on the scene. Binford Not the Northeastern scowl! Well I’ve been accused of this, tho I won’t plead guilty  It’s usually cuz I’m deep in thought bout sumthin. But when asked to smile, I’ll say sure, now that I have sumthin to smile about ~ Mission accomplished for both of us. B/c I do find that it’s a nice non-threatening approach and it’s kinda sweet that he noticed. 900 I like them mean. Then I can tell my pops: I got a MEAN bytch! LoL PURE FOOLISHNESS hahahaaaa 6’1 Welcome to the Dirty 30s ~ fabulous

By 6'1 & luvinit

January 30, 2008 12:07 PM | Link to this

I just have a quick question for the guys and they girls if you can help me. I was talking to my long lost…. I even thought that he was my soul mate and I asked him why didn’t we ever make it. He told me that it was because I was too Jazzy for him. When asked what Jazzy meant in this particular since, he told me that because I wear designer clothes, shoes and carry these bags that cost more than his car and because I have always had luxury cars and house and degrees he felt as he would have never measure up. That hurt me because that is not why I wanted him. He said that he couldn’t afford the lifestyle that I was accustomed to so there fore he didn’t pursue anything but a friendship with me even though he felt as if emotionally, spirtually and physically I was his soul mate. So you guys already know from my previous post that i am overly emotional and that is when I had one of my Celie moments. “Did I ever ask you for anything, Did I ever for anything?” Of course tears flowed and I put my Amy Winehouse back on. But guys he drives trucks for a living and that is fine with me. I liked him for him. To me he was perfect in every since of the word. Why do guys feel as if they can’t measure up when a person presents themselves in this manner?

By 2CPTG©

January 30, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

6’1……while you talkin, I bet you’da loved to have had a lil dude, or any dude, yesterday!

somma y’all funny as hell….

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 12:09 PM | Link to this

ROTFLMAO @ 900k. Too many weak brotha’s out there in the game these days. Those ladies can have em.

By BennyB

January 30, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

Long time not see folks.

Wanting to be someone else ideal is an illusion in its purest form but people still do it mostly because they don’t have a strong sense of self value. This happens for people who made a career out of being in love or people who live in state of denial. Contrary to WD, I will tell anyone who I want them to be. I will even put it on a billboard…but it will not be something like “have a sense of humor”. I do want people in my life to have a positive outlook of life, live up to their full potential and be all God created them to be.

T-Mango, I will not say to a man that I want friendship first; not that he will be afraid to get in the friend zone but a man who listens will understand that you don’t trust the most important person that you should trust in your life. When a woman says that she wants friendship, she is not ready to surrender. We attract those who come into our lives. Besides, it’s not the process (friendship first) of how we manage our relationships that yield success; it’s the state of mind of those involved that does.

ARed, you can be really funny: “One of my strengths is that I’m very adaptable and I’m willing to try new things” Seriously, are you talking about new things like text messaging?

Staceye, NYC women don’t look like they want snap a guy’s head off, women who live in negative environment fit the description. NYC women look happy and self-assured.

By DasV

January 30, 2008 12:10 PM | Link to this

ForReal negro. nuff said with that skit. i guess i know on some level that he was putting himself out there as much as he was able to do… i’on know… i guess i am stuck in that whole, if you think i worth getting to know put yourself out there. and nah, oJazzONe i wasnt coming at you in any way. i had a preconceived idea in a setting like that how things should go… and although i can step outside the box and see all the possiblities how who things couldve gone… i still have what wouldve worked best for me.

i really wanted him to put himself out there and in public (or at least a room full of ppl) state that he found me interesting and “would love the opportunity to talk one-on-one over coffee. heres my number and cause i am serious may i have yours?”

i agree too many times ego is what snags the whole dating scene…. errybody scared of being made to look like a fool. i dont want to be with a timid man like that… i dont want to have to cop a feel to be sure you have two pair jmho

By Tater

January 30, 2008 12:11 PM | Link to this

Darrell

You left off the second part of the definition of lying.

to create a false or misleading impression

I’m not trying to beat up on WD, at least she has the courage to tell the truth. What I’ve been trying to articulate is that many of the posters on misadventures completely lie about who they are and what they want.

Go back and read some of the postings here, especially Rell’s and let me know what you think…

By Wise Diva

January 30, 2008 12:14 PM | Link to this

Not sure what happened guys, but I think we are back in business.

and I had a LONG rebuttal to LL that got lost, drats!

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 12:16 PM | Link to this

6’1 - This ain’t the way to kick off your 30s girl! What do we need to do to get you back on your game?

I’d have to say that your “long lost” had a valid point. You may love him for him, but it’s possible for you to resent him for never providing the type of lifestyle you are used to.

I think if he were really the one, he’d be with you no matter what. I bet you there is something better for you.

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 12:19 PM | Link to this

BennyB - I text message all the time. So there.

By Rell

January 30, 2008 12:20 PM | Link to this

@sixone….dang thats rough..but i still find it hard to wrap my mind around that whole who makes more thing…maybe it is a control thing…or maybe it is in him to be the breadwinner…..who knows…so i see you are having a time moving on…..but here is something to think on…..amy whino will only make you despair more…stop listening

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 30, 2008 12:22 PM | Link to this

Tater Even with that second part added, there’s still the issue of whether or not WD was trying to DECEIVE the man. You can’t just say someone created a “false or misleading impression” without addressing the issue of WHY they did it.

By DasV

January 30, 2008 12:23 PM | Link to this

SIX1 i suggest you give him any j.calfornia cooper book and call you in the morning. iffin that dont help him see that we need security, not necessarily abundance(y)… then at least you have a great friend. and who knows… he could wake up later down the road.

By 6'1 & luvinit

January 30, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

You know what that was back then, I wouldn’t date a short guy, But now I really dont care. I know that big things come in small packages. I really would have loved it, u dam right. I did get a big dude though, Marc Jacobs, :( and I had to pay for him. I was sitting in my car in my drive way thinking about all the guys that I turn down for whatever reason that would have hooked me up for my b’day. Just another sad song!!!!!! And guess what I did go back to black, that black cold a* house.

By melo

January 30, 2008 12:25 PM | Link to this

Jazzy and I have a different approach and we both still get dates Ared i waznt responding to u as such in my comments but to the one who said man find her unapproachable.But i disagree on ur other comment:not anybody can get a date and hell ya,hw u carry urself has an effect on guys, positive or negative. If I don’t do the calling, then they guys I date will be comfortable calling me. dont knw what u talking about here but i would think thats a given for 2 pple dating. About my other comments in general on dating textbooks etc if u dont have a man at 35 i may remind u.But i note ur youthful girl ignorance and boy havent i seen that before!

By pisces08

January 30, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this

@6’1. You have to put his comments in the proper perspective. Some men aren’t “big” enough to handle what they perceive to be a lifestyle they are unfamiliar with. As such, they “knock” it, as if to say it’s bad, or not for them. Unfortunately, or fortunately, men have to have the capacity to be comfortable with themselves no matter how “classy” the woman they choose to pusue. Your job, if you choose to accept it is to find the man with the capacity to accept you as you are.

Birthday drinks on me, at Ushers joint for both you & ARed!

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 30, 2008 12:27 PM | Link to this

Part 2 to my rant, as I am having to do this between actually doing some work.

I personally think that more women need to be more honest with themselves on how the dating situation really is today and get out of the fantasy!

It has been my experience,that many women have a very jaded view of relationships and marriage and often see themselves in a very artificial light. This is why many women find them selves at 40 or older and find their options are a lot slimmer than when they were 30 and are more willing to take a chance on a dude that they passed over when they were 30.

It boils down to you taking a more proactive role in your development and not waiting for someone else to do the hard work wooing you, because in reality, those days are mostly over!

True,in most cases if a man sees a woman that he is really interested in,he will most likely approach or make it known that he desires to be with you, but what a lot of women are not getting is,that just because he is interested in you and wants to be with you, this may not make him want to marry you!

Remember this..Women dictate when and if dating will happen. Men dicate when and if marriage will happen.

We live in a society that has a very high percentage of successful sisters,with goals,looks,ambitions and dreams. How and why do you stand out?

The majority of those women desire what most women want and that is a good man, with all of things they have and more.

A large portion of them are sitting back waiting for a man to find them vs. thinking they should be proactive in standing out and taking chances that other women will not consider.

Think of it like this..When you apply for a great job, there are others that have the same qualifications if not better qualifications than you do!

What makes you stand out in a crowd and why should that company hire you?

If your resume does not stand out, it will go into the file with all of the other resumes.

Life and dating is the same way. Are you going to sit back and wait for an opportunity to find you and take the safe road to take advantage of that opportunity or are you going to stick your neck out, take a few blows,take a few rejections and perservere?

Most folks take the safe road and that is why they often come up short or don’t achieve what life truly has to offer.

By The Truth

January 30, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

My post got eaten.

Ladies, please stop saying guys are intimidated by you. Their not or you are messing with some sorry cats. Alot of times their not interested in you, contrary to your socialization which says every guy wants you and would kill to have you. If you don’t believe me check your dating calender. If a tiger passes on a rabbit its not because he’s intimidated, he may have just had a full meal. Your really not that intimidating, or beautiful, or incredibly sexy. Your just a woman like the rest. Maybe it makes you feel good to say but it sounds wack.

Did LL just tell the ladies they have a shelf life? LMAO Now thats funny.

900 now thats a hellava post dude. Women by their nature are soft. If a cats saying she’s hard he’s actually saying she’s harder than him. Not good. LOL

BennyB good post but next time just kick em in the mouth. It’s less painful LOL

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 12:28 PM | Link to this

6’1” Happy B-day!!! -Why do guys feel as if they can’t measure up when a person presents themselves in this manner? I cant speak for him but this would not bother me at all, high fashion woman are my passion! But to walk in his shoes a lil… if you are Halle Berry and he is just Trucker Dan it may not be about intimidation or the fact that he cant measure up. He may simply feel that you value different things in life than him. Perhaps he may not see you enjoying HIS type of lifestyle and therefore Both of you will not be happy in the future. You see for some people it almost hurts them to spend cake or even to see folks spend 1000’s on accessories even if they CAN afford it, but its your money so there’s nothin he can say. I will say that if he thinks this way he should of said so instead of coppin out to sayin that he couldn’t afford the lifestyle that I was accustomed to.

By Wise Diva

January 30, 2008 12:31 PM | Link to this

I get what you are saying Tater, I didn’t take offense at all, I always admit that I was the queen of dating mistakes.

The intent was to get the guy, by any means necessary, the reason I was doing it was because I had zero self esteem and thought he wouldn’t want the real me. Obvi, i got over that, I am chocked full of confidence and self esteem, sometimes too much, even. LOL

LL, I will address you when i come back from lunch, but part of my response was, I am NOT a can of tuna, damn a shelf life. If i lived my life in those terms I would drive myself nuts.

Yall behave

By Tater

January 30, 2008 12:33 PM | Link to this

Darrell

I guess we need to ask WD to help us understand a little better..

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 12:33 PM | Link to this

pisces08 - You already bought me a birthday drink. If you buy me another, I might be digging for gold! LOL

By the way…how was my attitude the night you approched me? Was I shooting daggars out of my eyes? What about hot flame?

melo 10-4 buddy.

By SexyLeggs

January 30, 2008 12:36 PM | Link to this

6”1&luvnit, dang, I had a great post for you.

Happy B-lated B-day. It was interesting to read why your friend couldn’t get with you. I’m sorry your outside appearance outshone you are on the inside as far as he’s concerned. You can’t be down on yourself for his insecurities. Unfortunately, that’s the way life is. If he was truly your soulmate, he would have seen past all the jazziness and kept stepping right along with you.

By Darrell (www.blackthen.com)

January 30, 2008 12:37 PM | Link to this

Tater “I guess we need to ask WD to help us understand a little better..”

I think she just did. LOL! She was just trying to “get the guy”, that’s all. It’s cool, Tater. I just didn’t want us looking at WD as if she were Cruella DeVille. LOL!

By abc

January 30, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

I rarely co-sign, but Truth’s 12:28 merits doing so. Ladies, you aren’t intimidating in stature of career, appearance, social standing, etc. If it seems that you’ve inadvertently ran off a good prospect, it’s much more likely that the man came to believe that pleasing you was an impossible task — that’s not due to you being all that, it’s due to your inability to be pleased. That sounds harsh, and it’s a bit stereotypical, but I think it applies.

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

Truth…you post like your opinion is the only absolute. Some men ARE intimide, some are simply disinterested. And someone is always going to think that we are beautiful and incredibly sexy. But most important is that if we feel it, we are. And no one can take that away from us. Sorry!

By Jazzyone

January 30, 2008 12:39 PM | Link to this

6’1 By 6’1 & luvinit

January 30, 2008 12:24 PM | Link to this

You know what that was back then, I wouldn’t date a short guy, But now I really dont care. I know that big things come in small packages. I really would have loved it, u dam right. I did get a big dude though, Marc Jacobs, :( and I had to pay for him. I was sitting in my car in my drive way thinking about all the guys that I turn down for whatever reason that would have hooked me up for my b’day. Just another sad song!!!!!! And guess what I did go back to black, that black cold a* house.

Let me just ask you if you dropping names and what you spending and how u spending it here do you do that when you are with this guy??? It can be a huge turn off to some men…

By Staceye

January 30, 2008 12:40 PM | Link to this

Benny B trust me I am very happy and self assured! LOL I think sometimes when I am deep in thought I can look a bit stand-offish!

By kimmie

January 30, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

For Real - It really was not that serious, just a pet-peeve! Read what I posted - I said I did not CARE if STRANGERS find me unapproachable! The only people I care about are people that are a part of my life, be it work, friends, aquaintance, romantic, etc & what they think. What do I care if someone on the outside looking in that does not know me or care to try & get to know me, can’t approach me but makes comments about me? You ask, why does it ALWAYS have to be the OTHER PERSON and not me? Because the OTHER PERSON is doing the NON-APPROACHING! I have no problem with examining myself, admitting my faults & taking steps to correct. I also have no problem taking constructive criticism from people that KNOW ME & CARE about me! You don’t know me, so how can you say its always about the other person? Lighten up, will you?!

By Tater

January 30, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

Darrell

I could never picture WD as Cruella, of course we don’t know her true identity :-))

She is a wonderful, strong person who stimulates discussion and brings out our thoughts and the sharing of ideas…

By 6'1 & luvinit

January 30, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

Mr. 2008 that is exactly what I said. I have a new car because I can’t afford to keep up an old school. With my BMW the maintenance is free. I have a new house because I can’t afford to keep up an old house, because its under warranty. I buy $1000 purses because they last forever. I buy 200-300 dollar jeans for that same reason, I am not superficial. You pay for what you get. Shoot I have a coach bag that I got ten plus years ago.look like I just got it yesterday, so maybe my taste are a little extravagant but those are my reasons for spending MY money the way that I do. I look at the fact that it doesn’t require much replacement.

By SexyLeggs

January 30, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

abc, I disagree with you. There are cases where men are intimidated because of those exact qualities you mentioned. The fact that the woman can’t be pleased can also be a factor. My point is don’t get it twisted in believeing that a man doesn’t run because of a woman’s lifestyle…oh yes, he does!!!

By Tazzee

January 30, 2008 12:44 PM | Link to this

Dang - my post got lost too.

First of all - shelf life my azz! It all depends on your outlook. I have to agree with Jazzy in that it’s your outlook that helps you stand out. At 37, I’m better in all aspects than I was at 25. When I stopped looking for a man and trying to be proactive at getting a mate is the same time that I became content in my life and had a better outlook. Just walking around enjoying life, doing what I like to do and being the best me that I could be is what started attracting the good men to me.

True, anyone can get a date - I used to attract a bunch of suckas back in the day. But when I stopped trying and started living - that’s when the ones I would consider marrying started knocking on my door.

So bump all this new approach to finding a man. When you love you from the inside out - the man will find you. Or rather - you two will find one another.

By 2CPTG©

January 30, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

“I was sitting in my car in my drive way thinking about all the guys that I turn down for whatever reason that would have hooked me up for my b’day. Just another sad song!!!!!!”

….why did Bobby Womack just come to mind…..“if ya think you’re lonely now, just wait until tonight…..”

By SexyCool

January 30, 2008 12:45 PM | Link to this

Have you ever dated someone who molded themselves into the person they thought you wanted?

he molded himself into a single, available man…

How did you know?

his wife told me…

By BLOW ME IS OFFICIALLY BLOWED & THROWED

January 30, 2008 12:47 PM | Link to this

WOWZERS….LOL

Ladies, please stop saying guys are intimidated by you. Their not or you are messing with some sorry cats. Alot of times their not interested in you, contrary to your socialization which says every guy wants you and would kill to have you. If you don’t believe me check your dating calender. If a tiger passes on a rabbit its not because he’s intimidated, he may have just had a full meal. Your really not that intimidating, or beautiful, or incredibly sexy. Your just a woman like the rest. Maybe it makes you feel good to say but it sounds wack.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 12:49 PM | Link to this

1st off L.L. that was a long azz post… consolidation is key LoL

Life and dating is the same way. Are you going to sit back and wait for an opportunity to find you and take the safe road to take advantage of that opportunity or are you going to stick your neck out, take a few blows,take a few rejections and perservere? -BAM! you said it all here brah. Ladies its not about you doing all this for HIM, its more like the persuit of happiness. If you want all the great things in life you have to GO GET IT! take money! take money - money!! Women get so caught up in thinkin that “I aint some tac-head chic who aint got herself 2gether” …”I dont need to go all out for some man!” perhaps, but what about happiness? What about your American Dream? What are you willing to do for that?

It starts from the time you see somthing you want… if what you want is Him…

By Tater

January 30, 2008 12:52 PM | Link to this

Darrell

I could never picture WD as Cruella, of course we don’t know her true identity :-))

She is a wonderful, strong person who stimulates discussion and brings out our thoughts and the sharing of ideas…

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 30, 2008 12:56 PM | Link to this

I am laughing too loud at u 2CPTG@! You know what Jazzy, I don’t think I do it consciously, but maybe I do and I know it is a turn off when i her someone name drop about who they know so maybe it is basically the same with me talking about prices and such, please forgive me all . I don’t do it intentionally. I guess i need to ask him that. Thanks!!!!!!

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 12:58 PM | Link to this

If a tiger passes on a rabbit its not because he’s intimidated, he may have just had a full meal. Your really not that intimidating, or beautiful, or incredibly sexy. Your just a woman like the rest. Maybe it makes you feel good to say but it sounds wack. WHooooaaa!

Blow -Will you Marry me?!!?

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 30, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

@6’1 & luvinit I got some sad news for ya!

I have traveled the world and I have personally been to a few production plants in other countries,that make those expensive handbags and shoes you wear.

You want to know how much it really costs to produce them?

Let me say this, about less than a third of what you pay!

So my point is this,you can buy quality for far less than paying full retail. And throwing away your hard earned money to make someone else richer is not smart!

A smart woman knows how to shop for a deal and quality and it does not have to be expensive!

Although I have never met you,I probably would not want to date you, because I love a woman who can afford to buy all of things you have, but lives below her means.

I think most men feel this way, but hey,do you and spend the way you please!

By Tater

January 30, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

Darrell

I could never picture WD as Cruella, of course we don’t know her true identity :-))

She is a wonderful, strong person who stimulates discussion and brings out our thoughts and the sharing of ideas…

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 12:59 PM | Link to this

900k - My happiness is ALWAYS paramount. There are times where I have a lot of dates, and can’t keep names straight. Other times I’m making it a Comcast night.

Anytime I go out, it’s to have a good time. So I’m not even checking for dudes, because I always get stepped to. If I’m looking at guys, I’m always looking at the tallest, cutest one. He always has a fan club. At the end of the night if I had a good time, I’m good.

I found LL’s post more of a word of advice for the men, rather than the woman.

By Tazzee

January 30, 2008 1:00 PM | Link to this

You can’t approach getting a man the same way you approach getting a job, house, car, etc. The reason is - most times if you have the criteria listed, you are going to get that job, house, car, etc. Yes interviewers consider ‘fit’ when hiring for a job. But if you have the skill set they need - most times you are going to get that job. If you got the money and the right credit score - you are going to get that house and that car.

A man/relationship is a totally different ballgame. It’s not based on what’s on paper. A lot of times with dudes it’s based on timing. Many guys on here have stated that they had the perfect woman for them at one time in the past but they ‘just weren’t ready’. So pursuing a man like you would the other things in life is fruitless and will leave you frustrated.

By The Truth

January 30, 2008 1:01 PM | Link to this

Ared I never said my posts are absolutes but you post in much the same manner. Tell me, why would anyone be intimidated by you? What about you is so intmidating? Why in the hell would I think you are in any way “more” than I am? Please enlighten me. Also, if your so beautiful or sexy why are you by yourself? Its ok for everyone to believe they have value but true value is when your gifts get you the things in life you truly desire. Your gorgeous looks or sexiness can’t get you what you want most, someone that will share their life with you. Its like having a million dollars and the stores are closed. Its no good.

Please take a moment to tell me why I should be intimidated by you. Is it your look? Your stare? Those lips? Your mean demeanor? Are you so intelligent I couldn’t hold a conversation with you? do you have so much life experience I’d be totally outclassed? Why should I be intimidated? Also, tell me someone that has intimidated you in the past because I cannot honestly think of anyone that has intimidated me, and i’ve been around some real ball busting people. I think you say that to help you deal when your rejected.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 1:02 PM | Link to this

Ok above was a typo, did not see Truth’s orgianl. Good one homie…

Blow the honeymoon is over

By Tater

January 30, 2008 1:03 PM | Link to this

Darrell

I could never picture WD as Cruella, of course we don’t know her true identity :-))

She is a wonderful, strong person who stimulates discussion and brings out our thoughts and the sharing of ideas…

By Jazzyone

January 30, 2008 1:04 PM | Link to this

6’2 Okay yep I see where you coming from and I think he did as well…LOL By 6’1 & luvinit

January 30, 2008 12:43 PM | Link to this

Mr. 2008 that is exactly what I said. I have a new car because I can’t afford to keep up an old school. With my BMW the maintenance is free. I have a new house because I can’t afford to keep up an old house, because its under warranty. I buy $1000 purses because they last forever. I buy 200-300 dollar jeans for that same reason, I am not superficial. You pay for what you get. Shoot I have a coach bag that I got ten plus years ago.look like I just got it yesterday, so maybe my taste are a little extravagant but those are my reasons for spending MY money the way that I do. I look at the fact that it doesn’t require much replacement

By melo

January 30, 2008 1:08 PM | Link to this

6’1 & luvinit u work for At@t? Tazzie, when I stopped trying and started living - that’s when the ones I would consider marrying started knocking on my door. hw long ago was this, and do u consider urself successful so far with the new apprch? When u looked for a man back at 25, what exactly did u do that was wrong?

By SeanJohnson3000

January 30, 2008 1:11 PM | Link to this

Cosigning LL’s and Truth’s post..blog females get a chance to see/read the raw uncut way that men think and how we view them…jewels are being dropped..

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 1:12 PM | Link to this

Truth - YOU might never be intimidated by me. But you are also not all men. Some men are initimidated by strong women, by tall women, by successful women. You don’t walk in our shoes. You may have desensitized yourself to thinking a woman is just a woman. And that’s your right.

Being intimated doesn’t mean a woman is unapproachable. She just might make a man pause and consider his game plan before approching.

I am single because I haven’t found the one. And I just don’t settle for anyone. That’s it. Good grief, I’m only 30. I’m not single because I sit on a throne and dismiss my subjects. How silly of a question for you to state like there is something wrong with being single.

I don’t need tell myself lies to “deal” when I get rejected. Rejection sucks, but you suck it up and move on. You’ve got some real issues buddy, but stop projecting them on people who are actually happy with the way they are.

By pisces08

January 30, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

@6’1. I feel you. I need a David Yurman watch because it keeps better time. Just a thought…

@ARed. oops, i forgot, you can get another. Nah, didn’t see no ‘tude, daggers or flame. It was all good to me..

By BennyB

January 30, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

DasV & Co Sometime you need to face your fears and take responsibilities of your lives. Our culture wants men to approach women but women should ask themselves if they want to date only men who expressed an interest in them or they want proactively to search for men they want to get to know.

Jazzyone Last time I was here, you believed in the world biggest lie and operated in auto pilot like most people, you did not talk about Positive thoughts. You are speaking a different language now………I’m very impressed.

Staceye When you are deep in thought, make sure that they stay VERY POSITIVE.

By DasV

January 30, 2008 1:15 PM | Link to this

the absolute Truth maybe we should define intimidate. that might help to facilitate this discussion. i venture a guess that were you out of your controlled environment, lets say in court, on false charges, and yet the prosecution has substantial evidence to convict, you would be intimidated by the judge peering ova to look at you… likewise you are smitten by a cutie-pie, and everyone knows it, and try as you may you cant keep your cool and she finds your antics of self-assuredness amusing and peers at you with laughter in her eyes…. trust. you would be intimidated. its natural. thats not the issue. the issue here is that that feeling holds some men back from approaching us.

we’ve discussed this before when we dialogued about the movie Hitch, remember?? in the end we want someone comfortable enough in their skin and with who they are to come at us on a real level fully aware that we need nor want anything of you. absolutely not

By melo

January 30, 2008 1:17 PM | Link to this

don’t get it twisted in believeing that a man doesn’t run because of a woman’s lifestyle…oh yes, he does!!!- SexxyL thank u grown azz woman..i may need u to chaperone some of ur haughty young ruble rousers on the blog!!They know no better…smh. (most women want to get married,if she says she does not, take it with a grain of salt)-melo world

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 1:23 PM | Link to this

ARed - well he did say: The majority of those women desire what most women want and that is a good man, with all of things they have and more. … A large portion of them are sitting back waiting for a man to find them vs. thinking they should be proactive in standing out and taking chances that other women will not consider. Plus I was talkin to women anyhow, I do not want to see my good blog female friends single if they dont want to be. Oh, we all know you got em lined up! didn’t think this applied to you…

6’1” -I feel you on some things on there. However you know that $300 jeans dont last longer than those old azz Lee’s from back in the day! LoL My question to you would you be willing to give up the “Glamor Girl” lifestyle for this or any man??? I do NOT mean living way below your means. What I mean is what if you wants a horse-ranch, with a track out back so he can race his Quarter Horses?? (Horses are pretty expensive) Prada Shoes and Gucci bags does not make a woman classy and you know that, so if a man wants to build a home out in the stix with a dirt bike/ Atv track out back its goin to take a classy nature type- down to get dirty kind of gal. opposites do attract!

By abc

January 30, 2008 1:27 PM | Link to this

It’s interesting to note that there’s a consensus among the male bloggers regarding intimidation (or actual lack thereof), while only a couple of the female bloggers continue to assert that they experience men being intimidated by them. Is it possible that the attention they attract is from men who would only deal with them so superficially? Or do they project something tied to that belief that men find unattractive? That’s open to conjecture, I suppose.

I was reading recently that lower socio-economic classes of women tend to react more positively to body-builder types while those of higher stature tend to gravitate toward tall and lean. Perhaps there could be similar conclusions drawn from women who would tend to attract men who’d be intimidated by fairness of face, fashion, car, abode. Or maybe that’s all conjecture, too.

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 1:32 PM | Link to this

900k - I didn’t read all of Lurker’s post it was way too long. But for the part you posted, I agree. I might not step to a man, but I’ll make sure I direct my attention to him and make myself approachable. Having them “lined up” doesn’t really matter.

If this blog today is about defining the “real” you there will always be women who think the man should make the first move. If that’s not how it works anymore, she either needs to change her attitude or stick to her guns and be okay with being single.

By Pussycat

January 30, 2008 1:33 PM | Link to this

@ Truth’s 12:28 and 900K and ABC

So, you’re saying if a man constantly says “you’re too hard”, it’s because I’m not pleasable (if you will)? I hear this ALL THE TIME! I don’t think I’m being hard. It’s situations where he’s wrong and I won’t just “let it go” and we rake over it as if nothing. He’ll do something to get him in the dog house, wait it out and come back. But when he comes back, I’m still there with the issue at hand. Should I just let it go? I find myself having to explain everything I say and mean because it comes off strong. I don’t mean in the sense of a harsh tone or mean mugging but when I spit truth, he can’t seem to take it. Reckon he’s a liar and that’s why?

By Pussycat

January 30, 2008 1:35 PM | Link to this

@ Truth’s 12:28 and 900K and ABC

So, you’re saying if a man constantly says “you’re too hard”, it’s because I’m not pleasable (if you will)? I hear this ALL THE TIME! I don’t think I’m being hard. It’s situations where he’s wrong and I won’t just “let it go” and we rake over it as if nothing. He’ll do something to get him in the dog house, wait it out and come back. But when he comes back, I’m still there with the issue at hand. Should I just let it go? I find myself having to explain everything I say and mean because it comes off strong. I don’t mean in the sense of a harsh tone or mean mugging but when I spit truth, he can’t seem to take it. Reckon he’s a liar and that’s why?

By Tazzee

January 30, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

melo - yes I would say I’ve been successful in my approach because I love my life! I’m still not looking for a man, and I wasn’t when I met the guy I’m dating now. The difference between now and then is I focus on the positives in my life. Yes, there were some days when I thought it would be nice to have a guy around - but then I would look at the rest of my life and appreciate what I did have, not focus on what I didn’t have. And I’d also think about the last time I had a guy around and realized I was happier in my current state.

Back when I was 25, I was so busy trying be an acceptable wife - I wasn’t being an acceptable me. I was learning to cook to get a man, wearing certain clothes to get a man and going to certain places to get a man. Shoot I was even praying for a man. I got a man and we were talking marriage - and I was the one that initiated the relationship, going after what I ‘wanted.’ In the end I was the one that broke it off because I woke up and realized it just wasn’t right.

and on your comment (most women want to get married,if she says she does not, take it with a grain of salt) - I’d have to add ‘the right man’. Sure a lot of women just want to be married, but I have to be honest - when I looked at marriage without a particular man in the picture - I didn’t want it at all. But being married to the man that ‘gets’ me - now that would be the hotness.

By DasV

January 30, 2008 1:38 PM | Link to this

BennyBinkstey trust. i am very proactive. i will be the first to tell ya that its most times ego that prevents ppl from acting on what they feel. i dont have that problem. No fear here, patna. I suspect that what is really at work here is the ‘stalker rule’… you know….. the rule where you don’t mind it (a text msg or just a phone number or a great p’up or a wink-n-smile, etc) if you feelin them, but if you not, then they stalkin you.

Cause on the to Text or not to Text topic I received a great text this morning that has had me smiling aaaaallllll day. Textin is alright by me!

I guess depending on who it is, we will or wont like it/appreciate/dig it. So in that regard, I guess it can be said that things cannot be textbook.

By melo

January 30, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this

How silly of a question for you to state like there is something wrong with being single there is, if u have always wanted to be married.Ur time line is different, but from most males perspective, 30 is late and if u not married by then, ur clock is winding down.That is the perspective from which Truth is asking the qs.Granted u may have other reasons for not being married, med school,other priorities etc. but 30sme males intending to get married look at 30 year women as tired horses. Am i wrong guys?

By Rell

January 30, 2008 1:39 PM | Link to this

fellas we should give up dropping the jewels on here….it is not going to read right or the intent will get lost….i will no longer do it…hell you can check the archives and you will find some of the same post dayum near word for word…the game reads like latin on here

…we can move on to other things…the ladies are resisting it, because the game is not for the type on this board..period…you cant game up square women…and there is nothing wrong with dealing with square women..but from my xperience you have to tailor your game to the women…

By Jazzyone

January 30, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

900

6’1” -I feel you on some things on there. However you know that $300 jeans dont last longer than those old azz Lee’s from back in the day! LoL My question to you would you be willing to give up the “Glamor Girl” lifestyle for this or any man??? I do NOT mean living way below your means. What I mean is what if you wants a horse-ranch, with a track out back so he can race his Quarter Horses?? (Horses are pretty expensive) Prada Shoes and Gucci bags does not make a woman classy and you know that, so if a man wants to build a home out in the stix with a dirt bike/ Atv track out back its goin to take a classy nature type- down to get dirty kind of gal. opposites do attract!

My life for the past couple of years..it was my ex’s life as well..kinda felt like we lived the Green Acres lifestyle..Hilarious…

Dude do you have horses?? Down to one myself…

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 1:41 PM | Link to this

Tazzee - Wonderful post. I loved your insight.

By kimmie

January 30, 2008 1:44 PM | Link to this

Ared - Great post. You know, even though Truth & some of the other male blogger’s posts are harsh, that really is the way a lot of men think, not all mind you, but a lot. I have 4 brothers and lots of male friends. It does help to know some of these things, to keep in the back of your mind. Everyone, male & female, has their shortcomings and insecurities. It’s what makes them human. We just can’t wallow in other peoples insecurities. I like nice things, but I’ve never been one to brandname-drop. I once had a boyfriend who did, and it infuriated him that I just did not care about those things that much because I always had nice things growing up. So if maybe I had presented myself a little more like 6’1, he would have been happier, but I had to be me. Different people are “intimidated” or “insecure” about different things! And to talk about women as having a “shelf life” and “used goods” is so very ugly, but that’s how a lot of men think about women. The thing is, the way that some women think about men is no better, lest men think it’s only them. I just hope my SO does not have those feelings about me. I see him as a jewel and I hope he sees me as the same. He initially pursued me, but now we pursue each other! I may be “unapproachable” to some strangers, but the only one I cared about didn’t find me that way!

By DasV

January 30, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

pussyCAT thats a whole ‘nother meow.

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 30, 2008 1:49 PM | Link to this

@Tazzee On your 1:00, is is that type of thinking, that will keep you on the bench trying to get into the game!

There is no difference between what you do at work and what you do in life! You either move up or out or you never get the position!

There should not be a difference between how you go about buying your home, car, investing your money and handling your biz and dating or maintaining a relationship, it is all the same!

That is why so many people fail at relationships, because they don’t apply the same values as they do with other areas of their life!

The sooner you realize that business is business, the sooner you will see more positive results!

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

melo - No, there is nothing wrong with being single unless you want to be married AT ALL COSTS.

It is a new day where women don’t have to settle for just any man. I could have been married at 20 if I wanted to be married just to be married.

I don’t operate from “most males” perspective. Why should I? I can’t live my life according to what “most males” think. How stupid would that be? Do you live your life to what “most women” would think? If I’m a “tired horse” so be it. Guess I’ll settle in for the single life forever. But heck, at least I’ll have fun doing it.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 1:51 PM | Link to this

PussyCat - Wonderful name BTW!!!

So, you’re saying if a man constantly says “you’re too hard”, it’s because I’m not pleasable (if you will)? -No I would never say this to a woman, perhaps you got my posts mixted up with another.

Should I just let it go? I find myself having to explain everything I say and mean because it comes off strong. I don’t mean in the sense of a harsh tone or mean mugging but when I spit truth, he can’t seem to take it. Reckon he’s a liar and that’s why? - Now this I can relate to, yes in time you Need to let it go. However he should not have a problem with taking the truth you have for him. Being strong means putting your lady in her place when she may step over the line… AND it definitley means Taking responsibilty when you Mess up. So he has to acknowledge why you’re mad and if he’s wrong he should say so then stand there and take it. But after a few minutes of you complaining you then need to move on. He knows he F’d up and how it made you feel so… put it to rest.

By Pussycat

January 30, 2008 1:54 PM | Link to this

To my 1:35 entry, I don’t mean “deep” things but should have been considerate type things. He’s a grown man with years of experience, I know he knows better. If I address or approach, I’m just too hard. If I let it ride, in my belief it sets the tone of taking less that best. Guess then it becomes a crossroad or do I dip or stay. My question remains, is that being too hard.

What is a woman that’s too hard or itimidating?

By SlimOne

January 30, 2008 1:55 PM | Link to this

What’s Crackalackin’?

There is no way in h3ll I can catch up with all these posts. However, when i was walking out of the liquor store with wine and a pack of Corona in hand, this old man shouted…”You’re a shining star!”

Sure the man was covered in oil, smelling like he re-paved 285 and only had about 5 teeth, but it put a smile on face.

Now what are we talking about now?

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 1:57 PM | Link to this

Amen kimmie Amen! I’m not saying at all that guys DON’T think like Truth, all I’m saying is that I can’t live my life based off other peoples perceptions and HANG UPS. We do all have em. If I think I’m fabulous, that’s going to radiate and attract someone who’s feeling my vibe. If he thinks I’m “just a woman,” “used goods” or whatever, we weren’t going to meet anyway, so good riddance! LOL

By The Truth

January 30, 2008 1:58 PM | Link to this

Sexy I wouldn’t want to live Beyonce’s or oprah’s lifestyle, but then I wouldn’t want to live the life of a crackhead w******* either. Does that mean I’m intimidated? No, its life choices. And if a woman can’t be pleased its because the guy cant figure out how to get the job done. Not that he’s intimidated. Actually, and some of these bruh’s know what I mean, he doesn’t give a dam if your pleased or not.

Melo what does smh stand for?

Ared we all have issues hun. May the perfect one please step forward. But please tell me, before we move on, why someone, anyone, should be intimidated by you. Also, when I think of strong women I think of my mom but she was still a woman. I know tall and successful women and once again I’m drawing a blank on the intimidation. Actually the more successful the more we have in common. I ain’t ya run down dude looking to come up by getting with you (Said while my industry is in the midst of hellafied depression) so you can’t add that to my life. What you can do is stay in your lane and let me drive this vehicle. I know how to drive.

Dasv I told you we don’t do this publicly. We maintain a healty appearance for our public. Don’t make me put you over my knee. However, the times I’ve felt like that I went over and said something in a hurry, and wound up marrying the chick so that example doesn’t hold water with me. And when I see you I’m going to put the press on you too so watch out. LOL

By For Real

January 30, 2008 2:00 PM | Link to this

Lets settle a couple of issues.

to make timid or fearful : frighten; especially : to compel or deter by or as if by; implies inducing fear or a sense of inferiority into another; implies reduction to a state where the spirit is broken or all courage is lost;

Now, I know some of the Blog ladies are not using the above definition for intimidation but all the Blog men use the above definition for intimidation.

So, ladies when you say a man was intimidated by what you got or how you look, it is not true based on the definition above.

Blog ladies if the above definition is not your intent then define intimidation.

By Rell

January 30, 2008 2:03 PM | Link to this

@slimone…where is the party…lol

By GEROME SAPP

January 30, 2008 2:04 PM | Link to this

Ladies, why would any of you set out to be intimidating? You are not hurting anyone but yourself. Be real. Men can see right through that.

By The Truth

January 30, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

This is for fun:

This was written by a guy … it’s pretty damn smart. Girls — Please have a sense of humor! I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said, “WHAT??!! What was that?!” So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear… “You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?” Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her to just get them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.” We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.” I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.” Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, “WHAT?” I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?” Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least she knows I’m smarter than her. Alright Ladies.

By melo

January 30, 2008 2:05 PM | Link to this

Kimmie thank u for ur post, but u got a man and dont have the problem other women on here have. Tazzee thanks for ur honesty.Being a Christian female, i see where u coming from coz i hear that from Christian females all the time. Ared if u happy and(but)single, more power to you.

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this

Truth - A man could possibly be intimaded my be because of my stature, the way I carry myself and the light that radiates within. If you don’t recognize it you may not know what to do with it.

We get it YOU aren’t intimidated by anyone. Want a cookie? Again, you still don’t speak for your entire gender. I know there is no way in heck that you’d date a woman like me and there is no way in heck I’d date a man like you. Sounds like the world works as it should to me.

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 30, 2008 2:06 PM | Link to this

Oh, okay i don’t work for at&t. I work for HD. I tend to self analyze myself every once in a while. And i often wonder about my extravagant taste, It could be the fact that I actually did come over on a banana boat. LOL at myself. It could also be that I over compensate for lack there of. Lack of what? I don’t know the answer to that either. Yeah, listening to Amy Winehouse will make you sad as all out doors. As far as putting down the gucci bags and prada shoes, for a man, Damn I just picked them up. I just got off of the 4 wheeler. I just come from under the hood of the ‘65 imapala SS. I just took off my airmax 95’ (which were my tomgirl trademark) I am saying this to say, I was that girl that was too hard, Now I am in this new skin and it looks pretty good. What’s a girl to do people? HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By SexyLeggs

January 30, 2008 2:08 PM | Link to this

I disagree with you Truth. Ok, you don’t want to live their live style and does that make you intimidated. I wouldn’t think so. I’m talking about us average joe blows that have decent jobs and decent homes. A man and a woman can be INTIMIDATED because of how one appears to be living. A person’s mere lifestyle can stymie another. If you’re stymie because of it, then your intimidated!

By DasV

January 30, 2008 2:12 PM | Link to this

theTRUTH LOLROTF!!! that was fun-neh,neh i aint madatcha!

By Rell

January 30, 2008 2:13 PM | Link to this

fellas why are we still riding this intimidation horse…i mean we all know what it is….do we have to be right….i mean the ladies only rebutt what we say because we giving them the play….in live fire the would not know the play is going down…keep that in mind….but this play on words is getting lame now…we all know that as men we are hardly intimidated by much…period

By SlimOne

January 30, 2008 2:14 PM | Link to this

Rell No party, just got that for the crib. I rented Mr. Woodcock too so i’ll probably throw one back and watch it sometime this week.

By BLOW ME IS OFFICIALLY BLOWED & THROWED

January 30, 2008 2:15 PM | Link to this

This blog has come to help me see…..

WOMEN ARE EMOTIONAL AS H3LL

WAYY TOO MUCH OVER THINKING…..

Just like I told my homie

you know after reading alot of post and looking at my behavior the problem with women alot of us need to relax….we over think things sometimes…..and very obxnoxious. That $hit right there can definitely hurt you in the long run.

INSECURITIES SHOULD NOT RUN YOUR LIFE!

It’s gettin sickening….Now these is one of my very few post that actually side with the guys. So enjoy this Truth, Rell, MR. 900K, SJ3000

By BLOW ME IS OFFICIALLY BLOWED & THROWED

January 30, 2008 2:17 PM | Link to this

This blog has come to help me see…..

WOMEN ARE EMOTIONAL AS H3LL

WAYY TOO MUCH OVER THINKING…..

Just like I told my homie: AND I QUOTE

you know after reading alot of post and looking at my behavior the problem with women alot of us need to relax….we over think things sometimes…..and very obxnoxious. That $hit right there can definitely hurt you in the long run.

INSECURITIES SHOULD NOT RUN YOUR LIFE!

It’s gettin sickening….Now this is one of my very few post that actually side with the guys. So enjoy this Truth, Rell, MR. 900K, SJ3000. But you know I always ride for the LADIES

By BennyB

January 30, 2008 2:18 PM | Link to this

Dasv I don’t believe in such a thing as a stalker rule, what is that? Afraid of being rejected? You need to stop believing in life biggest lie girl…. I like to ask girls why God put them on this planet, the answers I get always amaze me. Maybe if you can answer this question coherently, you’ll see yourself differently………

By Pussycat

January 30, 2008 2:21 PM | Link to this

@ ABC

Dude please put down the dictionary. Most of what you’re reading is not going to be defined or found by a book. This is everyday life. From where I sit, receiving comments like I’m too hard has typically stemmed from men only (current and past), that thought I was too smart for my own good. I had someone to tell me, I need to say away from my four brothers because I think like a dude. Now I’m not trying to, that’s just the way it is. I don’t think of intimidation so much in the terms of “fear” but moreso like not being a puppet and being able to think for oneself. Sometimes I have quick wit (and I don’t think so) and I have him rolling sometimes but why is it labeled as being too hard. Now that brings me to Wise’s entry for today. I cannot do the fake fake.

By Tazzee

January 30, 2008 2:21 PM | Link to this

LL sorry babe - I’m not on the bench. What you don’t realize is first and foremost, I’m the star player in my life. AND on top of that - I’m the starter for my sweetie’s team (to keep with your sport’s analogy). And I’m not going to front like I’m not really into the guy I’m seeing because I am - but he’s the one that recognized my star qualities and is trying to get me under contract.

And it wasn’t about me thinking outside the box going after a man. I didn’t go after him like I did my house or my car. Yeah I peeped him first when I stepped up in the tailgate - but I didn’t approach him. When we were introduced, I smiled, engaged in some casual conversation and kept having fun at the tailgate. Later he told me that it was my smile and my sunny demeanor that attracted him to me. I was just hanging out having a good time.

Since then, as we’ve gotten to know one another, I’ve followed his lead. He set the pace as far as the phone calling, he’s the one that brought up the committed relationship first and the couple of times I did ask him for something (in terms of communication and how the relationship works), he changed to accomodate.

Now I’m sitting here blushing every time I get a call or email, like a teenager - and can’t WAIT to get home so we can chat on the phone until one of us gets sleepy.

By Rell

January 30, 2008 2:28 PM | Link to this

@Slim…dayum beer and wine in the frig and a comedy….dayummmm….my type of women

By Staceye

January 30, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

Benny B trust me I am very happy and self assured! LOL I think sometimes when I am deep in thought I can look a bit stand-offish!

By melo

January 30, 2008 2:29 PM | Link to this

Truth smh,means shaking my head.I learnt that on the blog. These women dont want to be compared with other females and they wont admit nothing to u.Just know what u know and keep it moving.I know we meet some lonely ones in Crowze Nest or sme other adult place, holding a henecken not patron.Only difference is my wife is tucked in bed, back home and but these are pining for what they dont have when they see me strutting my stuff past them.

By SexyCool

January 30, 2008 2:30 PM | Link to this

okay…some of these posts, i just read and laugh out loud…

i tell you…some folks take themselves WAY TOO SERIOUSLY…

oh, the comedy of it all…

By kimmie

January 30, 2008 2:31 PM | Link to this

BennyB The stalker rule - I understand it to mean this - Say a guy is calling a lot, texting a lot, sending flowers everyday, whatever, just generally sweating a lady & she likes him it’s all good. If she does not like him, the same exact sweating might be construed as stalking! I’m not saying it’s right, or I believe in it one way or another, that’s just what I’ve heard others say!

By Tazzee

January 30, 2008 2:33 PM | Link to this

and furthermore LL I NEVER said you don’t have to work at maintaining a relationship. I said you can’t GET a man the same way you GET a car. I can walk into any dealership tomorrow - test drive a car and walk out with it. The car is not concerned with how my butt fits in the seat or what stations I program into that car. The car is sitting there for the taking. The same is true with a house or a job. If there’s no job opening, I can’t get the job.

Like For Real has said on here many times, I can’t determine how someone else values me - only how I value myself. There are too many factors on the other side of the relationship equation for someone to be able to get a mate the same way they get a car/job/car/pair of shoes, etc.

By DasV

January 30, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

BennyB how you leapt to the conclusion i will never know. to-ma-TO, to-MA-to. cool beans, fella.

i will try to explain the ‘stalker rule’ just cause you obviously out in left field… but if you have left the ballpark it aint gonna matter, but here ya go:

someone who calls every hour on the hour can either be a stalker or your soulmate…. depending on how you feel about them. if you arent into them, then they stalkin ya, if you feelin them then you love hearing from them even that often.

that clear up things for you?

and i admit ‘rejection’ on any level hurts, but a lot of things in life do… doesnt make me wanna not live. come’on now. be serious.

and to answer your question: IAM put me on earth to magnify and praise His Holy Name and represent who HE is with my behaviour, treatment of others, self-sacrificing spirit,….. HIS love personified in my willing submission to the role i have in a family unit, as nurturer, comforter, and complement.

By Rell

January 30, 2008 2:36 PM | Link to this

Later he told me that it was my smile and my sunny demeanor that attracted him to me. I was just hanging out having a good time.

so again i ask i am wrong…thats what MEN like….

By For Real

January 30, 2008 2:37 PM | Link to this

Well at least Blow is listening and maybe some other female lurkers. Blow if come by MickyD’s just after yall close, can you hook me up with some free Big Mac’s and apple pies?

Six-One Did you write $300 jeans? SMH!!

By SexyLeggs

January 30, 2008 2:41 PM | Link to this

On my way to take my elderly neighbor to her doctor’s appointment.

Good night everyone! Don’t be intimidated, go ahead and ask that man/woman out. Even if it’s only to Carvel (at least it’s inside)!

By Tazzee

January 30, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

The Truth this guy told that joke on Tony Rock’s new show the other week. All I could do was laugh…

By SeanJohnson3000

January 30, 2008 2:42 PM | Link to this

@ Blow..BOUT time u started listening…Staceye…u next

By The Truth

January 30, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this

Rell we have never discussed topics until “you” were satisfied and we won’t on this one. Chill and have a drink while we get to the core of this thing.

Sexy your totally wrong hun. Someone could feel totally at peace on a 1000 acre ranch and never want for the city life. Their not intimidated but thoroughly satiated where they are. I think we all need to reread For Real’s definition of intimidated.

Ared I wouldn’t rule you out of the dating pool because i have tamed women like you before. But don’t think for a minute that your superior or your “light” shines brighter than mine. Its unfortunate that alot of women run across alot of zero’s but all of us aren’t. Their are alot of dudes that could show you a thing or 2.

Blow thanks for the support and can you supersize my order. Luv ya hun.

6 1 do you and keep coming up but don’t expect others to support the direction you rise. I’m glad you’ve dropped the overalls and gotten more fashionable but for every step you take someone won’t like it and will wish you’d take a step backwards. Also, sorry your b’day didn’t go as planned but thats only 1 out of 365. I take off on birthdays and holidays because I live everyday doing exactly what I want and sometimes need the rest. LOL

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 2:43 PM | Link to this

Jazzy - No I’ve never even been on a horse. But I did sell motorcycle’s and atv’s for a while. There I met some real cowboys who schooled me on the Qtr Horse “original drag race” it sounded real cool. And I was amazed @ the fact they would have a fine azz woman in there with em with the boots on, in dirty jeans and all.

puss - I see that you only respond to more negative comments… perhaps this could be a look into a problem.

Blow Ok, with you latest post there may be hope for us yet!

ARed - A cookie? man you cut deep girl!

6’1” - may I say that you need to get with a man like myself. One who appreciates a woman who can come out the house like Whoa! every time you see her, new fit- new hair do… with the Mary J goggles on thats whats up! And he can match that with an ill style of his own, fresh gear for every occasion positive attitude and a mean swag! Willing to enjoy the life he has rather than dwell on the one he does not.

I aint tryin to just put my bid out there.. but Im sayin

By Jazzyone

January 30, 2008 2:44 PM | Link to this

Tired horse???..naw baybeh..neva that…this 41 year old is at her best and it shows…Im living the best life i’ve ever lived and am dating happily..yes I would like to be married and can be…I enjoy this dating thing and Im single but not lonely and single by choice because i can’t be commited to one man and want to be with another and build something they are on tap to pull from the stack..trust it…im enjoying things right now and marriage will be when I want it to be, a biological clock and the like have never been in my head…life is too good to be tripping on that kinda stuff…i’m loving every moment of this…

By Staceye

January 30, 2008 2:45 PM | Link to this

6’1 you make the money..so spend it the way you please. You only live once. Enjoy it mami! But please make sure you are not spending lavishly to fill a void. I have the habit of shopping a little more than usual when I get down about something. Just don’t shop yourself into debt. It will then create another problem. But I do not buy a lot of name brand stuff because one of the first things I learned in college is the cost of manufacturing a $500 handbag is only $5-$10…meanwhiel you are paying for the designer’s next vacation or contributing to the kids ivy league college education and benz as a sweet 16 gift.

ARED don’t settle girl! Being single is a lot better than settling out of shear fear of being alone.

Benny B I have osm much going on that I am doiong so that is why I am always comtemplating my next move.

Slim Mr. Woodcock was funny!

By melo

January 30, 2008 2:48 PM | Link to this

Tazzee,were introduced, I smiled, engaged in some casual conversation and kept having fun at the tailgate Thats all we talking about.Softening up, letting the sun shine on u so we can see ur sweet, pretty face. But other females are not like that.They are all rolled up togther like my garden hosepipe…now how do i untangle that mess on ur face? The rest on here is semantics.

By mytwocents

January 30, 2008 2:49 PM | Link to this

Truth I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. Cute story. But trust - about 90% of the time, ‘Sluttasia’ is just about one layer beneath the surface. She just needs y’all to give her a valid reason to come out n play. Which is why lotta times when y’all do sumthin crazy we’re more upset we have to tell her to sit her lil hot @zz down than at whatever it was u did!

By "Longtime Lurker"

January 30, 2008 2:50 PM | Link to this

@Tazzee No need to pull a gun on me,here is my wallet, you can have it!

When I speak,I speak in general terms,not individual terms. If your situation werks fo you,then kudos, I don’t hate I celebrate the player!

If you look at the masses, what might work for you might not werk fo them!

If y’all think I want to see someone on their back, kickin like a roach, you are missing my point. I just try to give you a different perspective.

By BLOW ME IS OFFICIALLY BLOWED & THROWED

January 30, 2008 2:52 PM | Link to this

YEAH YEAH YEAH …FELLAS…That s** starts get annoying sometimes though.

Don’t think I stop riding with STACEYE’S THAT’S MY POTNA!

WHERE THE HELL DID THE MCDONALD JOKES COME FROM ABOUT ME??

Truth I think you are responsible for that!!

By BLOW ME IS OFFICIALLY BLOWED & THROWED

January 30, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

YEAH YEAH YEAH …FELLAS…That s** starts get annoying sometimes though.

Don’t think I stop riding with STACEYE’S THAT’S MY POTNA!

WHERE THE HELL DID THE MCDONALD JOKES COME FROM ABOUT ME??

Truth I think you are responsible for that!!

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

Truth - There you go putting 20 on 10. Who said anything about me being superior or my light shining brighter than yours? Good grief dude, why can’t a woman be confident in hers without threatening YOUR light?

I don’t run across a lot of zeros. Remember, you are what you attract right? I’ve never been the type of woman who thinks there is no good men out there. There are plenty of good ones. I don’t treat them like they’re “just a man” tho.

Maybe it’s not impossible for your old butt to learn a thing or two either.

By Staceye

January 30, 2008 2:53 PM | Link to this

SJ ain’t happening buddy! LOL Hell would have a snow day first!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

January 30, 2008 2:56 PM | Link to this

Wow I see it had been on and poppin in here today! I am just poppin back in to see what is going on, I am not TRYING to read all that stuff and catch up. But it looks like this topic has gotten heavy….

By The Truth

January 30, 2008 2:59 PM | Link to this

Ladies, one more thing. I’m not telling you to settle. Just develope skills that will help you get what you want in life. I’m 40+ and still upping my cooking game, mental game, the whole show. If you want a mate do you think your intimidation factor is going to bring him to you? Will you know he’s the one when he’s p** his pants because you mean mugged him? Start developing thought patterns that would make someone see you for what you are, not what your tryin to project. Some of the things you speak about are not necessary in a healthy relationship, if thats what you want. My .02

By SlimOne

January 30, 2008 3:02 PM | Link to this

Staceye I hope it is, I can’t wait to sit back, c** my feet up and watch it. LOL!

By DasV

January 30, 2008 3:04 PM | Link to this

just realized my ‘intimidation’ post was eaten… proly cause i used a bad word… forgot this wasnt an email LOL

INTIMIDATION as defined on the blog by me (cause i can only do me, right?) and imma do it with a visual: its you seein me in a crowd and liking what you see, raptured with how i do things, enamoured with my mind but just before you step to me you realize i got a lollipop in one and a nine in the other (figuratively-speaking) and that gets you discomb-bob-bulated and un-nerved to the point of hesitation and then since you only after the (insert bad word here) you move on to more elementary sistas insteada steppin to find out whats the deal.

with Ared you dont step cause of her confidence and stature… and Six1 cause of her mad money. theres a different reason for each of us, not the textbook reason as intimidation is defined in a dictionary

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 3:05 PM | Link to this

LOL I’m still trying to figure out which ladies said they intimidate every man who crosses their path. I’m still trying to figure out which ladies even emphasized that as a factor in the first place. LOL. Oh well.

By abc

January 30, 2008 3:07 PM | Link to this

Frankly, if yall are as confrontational in real life as you are in posting here, I’m not surprised that you’d think people were intimidated by you. It has not to do with your inner light, economics, or anything like that; it would have to do with your apparent view that discussion is battle, and how that reflects on your personality. Not to incite yet more of the same; just sayin.

By The Truth

January 30, 2008 3:08 PM | Link to this

Ared why I gotta be old? LMAO

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 3:12 PM | Link to this

abc - I doubt any of us are this confrontational in real life because people don’t approach people in real life like they do on the blog.

But uh, interesting observation I guess.

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 3:15 PM | Link to this

Truth - In my eyes you’re the granddaddy of the blog! LOL

By For Real

January 30, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

DAS V INTIMIDATION as defined on the blog by me (cause i can only do me, right?)

Awwwww come now if you are going to start creating your own definition for words just because it suits you, we all in trouble. Wait a minute, isn’t that called ebonics?

For Real now sitting on Slim’s couch with his dirty azz sebagos.

By DasV

January 30, 2008 3:16 PM | Link to this

here TRUTH passing you a cane and some reading glasses cause i want you to see me for who i am, not for what image i am trynna project. LOLROTF

By Wise Diva

January 30, 2008 3:17 PM | Link to this

Thank you Tater!! So sweet of you to say, Now..see? I can take the criticism and the compliments as fast as ya’ll give it! … and no I am not Cruella, but I’m no punk either! giggle

I appreciated both sides of the debate, you offered perspectives that needed to be contributed, so thanks to both of you :)

By pisces08

January 30, 2008 3:18 PM | Link to this

@ARed. I musta missed somethin?

By BLOW ME IS OFFICIALLY BLOWED & THROWED

January 30, 2008 3:22 PM | Link to this

Truth I think it’s fair to say. That we are….no…I take that back. We are certain that we have had enough of you 2 cents honey!! You like to point out our flaws which we do have. But what I want to know is….What are your flaws as a man? Cause you continously hinder women with the constant complaints on how we need to do better….BLAH BLAH ETC ETC? Let me know what makes you imperfect….I’m listening…Would you like fries with that AS well sir? I am tired of your $hit!!!

STACEYE Wink…..lol! Don’t think I got soft on ya….NEVER DAT!

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 3:25 PM | Link to this

pisces08 - I’m not following.

By For Real

January 30, 2008 3:27 PM | Link to this

Oh and DAS hon it ain’t you that has ole boy intimidated. IT’S THE DAYUMMM GUN!

Six HD or Home Depot?

By DasV

January 30, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

ForReal yea. alright. i guess things really would get out of hand if that became the norm.

using your definition: sometimes men are “timid” and/or “fearful/scared” and/or “deterred” by a womans ‘prescence’ and therefore excuse themselves from pursuing an opportunity to get to know her better. this deterrent is for various reasons…. depending on the woman.

and now if you dont mind… move ova. imma sit witcha and pop a red stripe to drink

By melo

January 30, 2008 3:28 PM | Link to this

now, i’m 6’2 but i would not apprch a 6’6 girl or sme taller than me period, even 4 a cut.Is that a preference or intimidation? (folding dem up , to get to where i wnna go wld be nice cool and quite a sight)

By Wise Diva

January 30, 2008 3:32 PM | Link to this

abc… I see what you mean. I think a lot of the comments that are said on the blog would never be said to a person face to face, I mean, if they did, people would get punched in the throat alot. I think people get really gangster behind a keyboard, me included.

By mqew

January 30, 2008 3:34 PM | Link to this

Ya no. I luv readin you guys. I haven’t caught up, but LL I don’t know what to say, Other than women aren’t looking for the ultimate approval, SIR. By definition (on this blog and other refs.) if you are the head, the “who are we” to drone in? Maybe I need to read on… but from your post as of noon.. I’m jus sayin.

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

STACEYE Wink…..lol! Don’t think I got soft on ya….NEVER DAT! Blow But you were doing so well!!!
Dont be a Doljah… follower… Boss Up!

Staceye - stop spreadin the propaganda! Men & Women need each other this is what makes the world go ‘round.

Das - that aint intimidation thats common sense! Aint nobody trying to talk to no Nine holdin out in public crazy girl. This aint the wire… put that thing up! Plus you aint finna buss a grape…LoL

By DasV

January 30, 2008 3:35 PM | Link to this

forReal LOL. figuratively its actually my mind.

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 3:36 PM | Link to this

i’m 6’2 but i would not apprch a 6’6 girl or sme taller than me period, even 4 a cut

melo - You definitely aren’t alone in this thinking! It cuts down on my dating pool, but it does allow for nothing but 6+ footers to step to me. The average guy I’m dating now is about 6’5”. I’m not complaining!

My sister is 6’3” and her boyfriend is 5’10”…go figure. LOL

By IslandGirl

January 30, 2008 3:38 PM | Link to this

Ok, I’m Johnny come lately…but I had a good laugh reading Truth’s earlier posting….not being in the mood for loving and/or shopping. Thanks was funny!

By Rell

January 30, 2008 3:40 PM | Link to this

Hey 6’1 can you give us a run down..seems your entrance as peak some interest..so can ya give us a rundown

By SeanJohnson3000

January 30, 2008 3:41 PM | Link to this

@Staceye…i figure by the time u reach your early 30’s….you will be past that “hardcore” fck a man stage…either that or lost to the other side..

@ Blow…lemme get a fish filet…and a Mc Sweet Tea..lol

By Kara

January 30, 2008 3:44 PM | Link to this

For real, are you high? You asked people to define a word, then when they define it, you respond with, you can’t define your own words?

By For Real

January 30, 2008 3:48 PM | Link to this

Okay Das but sit on this side and put your arm around my neck and arc your back.

For Real now punking Wise out. Now go fix me a four course meal with some red kool aid.

Blow You were almost there… don’t listen to 2E’s or am I going to have to give you a theraputic slap.

For Real now pouring used Baby Powder in 2E’s purse.

By SlimOne

January 30, 2008 3:49 PM | Link to this

4Real & Dasv hold up, wait a cotton pickin minute!….Who farted? Both of yall get your arses up off my couch! And For Real you know betta than to be up in here with them old azz Sebago’s on. Here take a pair of these hospital booties I stole from Grady.

By DasV

January 30, 2008 3:50 PM | Link to this

Kara thank you sista-gurl. cause i was trynna be non-confrontational and all that… .

oh lawd. lemme go sit down. my head is spinnin and this red stripe cant hit the spot quick enough. imma take me a blog break

night, errrybody!

By BennyB

January 30, 2008 3:51 PM | Link to this

DasV You did not get me…..maybe you know this story: After Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit, they hid - When God came to them and said, Where are you? They said: “God, we’re hiding because we are naked.” God answered them:”Adam, who told you that you were naked?” In other words “Who told you that something was wrong with you? So, who told you that you are stalking? Your imagination? Your fear of rejection?

My point is that there is not such a thing as a stalker rule. You know very well inside yourself when you are crossing the limits. It’s not about any rule….it is all in YOU.

By For Real

January 30, 2008 3:53 PM | Link to this

Kara I would pass the spliff to you but you always leave tip too wet. My point was you just can’t make up a definition for a word just because it supports your position. Intimidation already has a definition.

For Real is now eating all of Kara’s peanut butter.

By Wise Diva

January 30, 2008 4:06 PM | Link to this

For real, before I serve a man a meal like that, he would probably have to serve up some O’s for me

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 30, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

Home Depot. What kind of run down do you need. I use to only date tall guys which means at least 6’5 because I love me some heels, but my last guy was just 5’10.

By DasV

January 30, 2008 4:08 PM | Link to this

BB that isnt what IAM was asking… the question was: what did you do… or how did you sin (fall from perfection) and come to know you were naked?

and you right, i do not get you. i’on know how to follow your convalutated thought process so imma pull up. and there is such a thing as ‘stalkin’… imma feelin a lil ‘stalked’ myself right ‘bout now.

and true to gen 3:12 form you gonna say it was me…. smh

By For Real

January 30, 2008 4:11 PM | Link to this

Wise I am the inventor of the Earmuffintectomy Procedure!

For Real now sitting down at Wise two piece dinnett set (1 chair and a table).

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 4:12 PM | Link to this

Well, I think several ladies were describing the Webster definition of intimidating. “To make timid or fearful.” Timid as in shy, fearful, not as in scared, but fearful of rejection. We’ve all established that rejection stinks.

By Wise Diva

January 30, 2008 4:19 PM | Link to this

man, I can’t stand you, For Real..LOL eyeroll ..Chump

By Staceye

January 30, 2008 4:20 PM | Link to this

Blow me sniff sniff…I thought you left me! LOL

900 I am not spreading propaganda! LOL

SJ nope..doubt it. No other side for me bruh! EWWW!

For Real EWWW no USED baby powder! Leave my sista Blow alone!

DasV you knocking back the Red Stripe? LOL

By The Truth

January 30, 2008 4:23 PM | Link to this

Blow job my flaws are well documented. To include a severe temper, being an insensitive b******* and pretty much not giving a fug what you say about shyt. I’m not perfect but I have key skills that have and will always allow me to have a woman. Dating has never been a problem for me but I think its fun to come on here and ruffle your feathers.

Blow I think your azz is bi polar.

SJ lmao @ “lemme get a fish filet…and a Mc Sweet Tea..lol”

By Rell

January 30, 2008 4:28 PM | Link to this

@6’1…i am asking the questions…lol..i said run down…so run it….

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 4:31 PM | Link to this

Okay…so I guess it would be too much to dump a guy because he just told me he hates the Patriots. :-(

By SeanJohnson3000

January 30, 2008 4:38 PM | Link to this

@ Staceye….ok..thanks for clarifying….i was worried about you for a minute….

By 900K aka Mr 2008

January 30, 2008 4:39 PM | Link to this

Truth is back @ it! Ladies grab a bottle of baby oil and meet Truth over by the empty pool in the middle of the room… Its On!

Staceye -Step into the light, we aint all bad.

ARed - good words from you 2day, we usually dont kick-it much but you’re aiight w/ me.

Blow -stop flippin on ey’body and stay focused. See this is why Blow is Still on fries… cause Blow aint applyin herself!

DasV -keep on breakin down the definitions for em girl.

6’1” - You know where to find me…

I’m outta here on that note Hasta Luego! Mi Amigos!

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 30, 2008 4:39 PM | Link to this

Rell what do you want to know? Ask I will answer.

By Staceye

January 30, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

ARED you are in the wrong city for that one girl! You know they are hating on the Pats. Now of course the Giants and Pats are my 2 favorites in the NFL…so I am neutral..meaning they both got the same team colors so I can wear the colors 4 both teams! LOL

Blow Me You are bipolar???? Girl just laugh..I know I am! LMAO hello pot..this is kettle CLASSIC!

By BLOW ME IS OFFICIALLY BLOWED & THROWED

January 30, 2008 4:41 PM | Link to this

TRUTH-BOGUS A* Bi polar..I think focking not! Just don’t forget yours when you roll calling the ladies…I had to bash yo @$$….Because you are a supreme $hit talker…and it’s getting quit disgusting. It’s LONG over due for your card to get pulled. You always take pot shots @ the overly agressive ones….I.E. STACEYE AND ME..IF you don’t like us…that’s your fault. You don’t have to put on ya lil skirt in stomp your foot in heels cause you disagree with us (flashback from waterboy!) Man up and get some drawls….I dont like those panties on you it’s not a good look! lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

By Willie Dynamite

January 30, 2008 4:42 PM | Link to this

Ya’ll are straight funny today.
I just wanted to drop in a give the fellas some props. You got Bomb 1st on the fence. Working on 2E’s. Keep up the good work fellas!!!

Oh yeah let me get a 4pc chicken nugg Happy Meal for a girl. Apple dippers instead of fries. And don’t forget my baby’s Caramel Sauce.

By BennyB

January 30, 2008 4:49 PM | Link to this

AmazonRed To be true to you, the only human being you can intimidate is only you. You don’t have any control on anyone else….well in your dreams you probably do…..

By The Truth

January 30, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

Blow I dont have to get mad at you hun. You and your crew will be singing this same shyt next year and the year after. Trying to figure out why nobody accepts you like you are. The truth is its hopeless for you.

Staceye I wont even comment o n you. I’ve said all I need to about you.

By The Truth

January 30, 2008 4:51 PM | Link to this

Blow I dont have to get mad at you hun. You and your crew will be singing this same shyt next year and the year after. Trying to figure out why nobody accepts you like you are. The truth is its hopeless for you.

Staceye I wont even comment o n you. I’ve said all I need to about you.

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 4:54 PM | Link to this

BennyB - What are you talking about dude?

By BLOW ME IS OFFICIALLY BLOWED & THROWED

January 30, 2008 4:56 PM | Link to this

TRUTH a.k.a BOGUS A$$ $HIT TALKER

Please save those words for yourself..Obviously you are intimidate by someone who doesn’t think the way you do. Go some BALLS! I’m done with you today! Maybe tomorrow

900k I am not flippin on no one but TRUTH dumba$$!! Stay on my good said hundred and 9….Don’t flock it up!

By For Real

January 30, 2008 5:00 PM | Link to this

MacDonald’s Manager: BLOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Blow: I am blogging sir.

MM: BLOGGING?!?!? How in the hellz did you connect to the internet on your register?

Blow: Well, if push the little Mac-Rib picture 4 times it takes you to ajc.com.

MM: WTF!!!!

Blow: Yeah, apparently the register knows no one will order 4 Mac-Rib so it re-directs you to the internet.

By 6'1 & Luvinit

January 30, 2008 5:09 PM | Link to this

4 real you are a dayuum fool, I am sitting here crying laughing!!!

By Teresa

January 30, 2008 5:09 PM | Link to this

I am afraid of that burger king guy

By Wise Diva

January 30, 2008 5:10 PM | Link to this

Thanks for keeping it light, guys (for the most part)!

Have a wonderful evening everyone!

By AmazonRed

January 30, 2008 5:11 PM | Link to this

Wow…the blog is still open? Now this is a first!