Misadventures in Atlanta

By SlimOne

December 20, 2007 8:07 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All Is it Friday yet?

By Dan

December 20, 2007 8:12 AM | Link to this

@WD

I’ll start from the end and work back.

The “different times” line is right out of the playbook. But sometimes it’s true, two people could see two disparate futures with one another and choose in that moment not to pursue anything.

But waiting is a no-no in my book. I’ve never been to prison, but I would imagine that’s what that request is like. “Wait for me” why? What purpose would that serve, for me to be idling my life while you sew your royal oats, stop.

It’s the reason I quit LD relationships and the reason I feel it’s better to make a clean break of things. I can’t ask to you to wait for me to get my head together. There no study time, or makeup work when it comes to romance. You’re either there with me, or you’re not.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 8:15 AM | Link to this

Morning, all. :-)

“Do you think that bad timing is really an issue in dating or a crutch we use to avoid getting too close?”

That depends. (Was that short enough for you, DasV?)

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 8:16 AM | Link to this

Hey Slim! Have you seen my Wii daddy? lmao.

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 8:25 AM | Link to this

co-signing Dan. there isn’t anything else to say. great topic Wise. ;)

By ImAPeach404

December 20, 2007 8:29 AM | Link to this

Morning everybody

What a relevant topic this Thursday morning

I met someone in September and they were very straight up about a situation they were currently in - for lengths sake, lets just say there was a baby on the way and he had to wait until January to find out if it was his! He said he didn’t want to get into anything too serious right now b/c he wasn’t sure what the direction of his life would be like until then. Understandable. He asked me to “wait” until then and I agreed. In the mean time we’d just get to know each other and just enjoy our time.

It wasn’t a “wait while I sample the buffet” it was a “wait until this humongous issue thats hanging over my head develops”. I felt okay in that situation.

By ImAPeach404

December 20, 2007 8:35 AM | Link to this

The “different times” line is right out of the playbook. But sometimes it’s true, two people could see two disparate futures with one another and choose in that moment not to pursue anything.

So true Dan. I met a dude once, he couldn’t wait to get married and have kids, I couldn’t wait to live in commonwealth and not have kids. He was a great guy but we were truly at “different times” in our lives.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 8:39 AM | Link to this

“He hasn’t asked her to wait until he is ready to see only her, but that is her plan.”

This is a presumptive and ill-advised move on the part of your friend and, in my opinion, she’s setting herself up for some serious disappointment. Anyone who takes it upon themselves to “wait” on another person is taking a huge risk because it assumes that their actions will somehow be appreciated and rewarded in the end by the other person.

Huge mistake, in my opinion.

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 8:40 AM | Link to this

ImAPeach404 give Mr. Wonderful a date. if you don’t get what you need by then … … . moving on.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 8:43 AM | Link to this

Hey, Peach. How are you?

Haven’t seen you around in a couple of days, so I wanted to let you know that my January newsletter is now available on my site. (You’ll recall I hinted to you about a week ago that it would be ready soon, so please check it out when you have time.)

[http://www.blackthen.com/index_files/Newsletter.htm]

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

December 20, 2007 8:46 AM | Link to this

Hey Diva

This one hit home for me. I met this guy about four weeks ago ( Mr. WOnderful). He had the same issue; long story short I didn’t wait.. I moved on .. next.LOL

By SlimOne

December 20, 2007 8:48 AM | Link to this

Beautiful Can’t say that I have. But I did see a used Atari 2600 on the side of the road this morning if you’re interested.

On-Topic As far as timing goes, I do think it does play a part in dating. However, some folks do use that as an excuse. I’ve never been in a situation where a person flat out said Please wait on me while I xyz. I can admit to sticking it out with someone hoping that they would come around to finally give me what I wanted and we all know how that turned out. Don’t get me wrong, I did not totally put my life on hold; I just never allowed myself to get serious with anyone else because my heart was still occupied by this other person.

I think the appropriate song to play now is Alicia Keys new joint Lesson Learned:

He broke my heart

and now it’s raining

Just don’t rub it in

I’m at your door

I feel so crazy ‘bout it, you’ll say, “I told you so”

You saw it long ago, ou knew he had to go.

I finally came around,I’m back on solid ground. Can’t let it get me down

It’s alright, it’s alright, It’s alright, It’s alright

Yes I was burned but I called it a lesson learned.

Mistake overturned but I call it a lesson learned.

My soul has returned so I call it a lesson learned.

Another lesson Learned

Sometimes some lies can

take a minute to fully realize

His tears your tears

30 seconds to apoligize

You give him one more chance like the time before.

But he already knows you’d give a hundred more.

Until that night in bed, you wake up in a sweat.

Your racing to the door, can’t take it anymore.

I was burned but I call it a lesson learned.

Mistake overturned but i call it lesson learned.

My soul has returned so I call it a lesson learned.

Another lesson learned….

Life perfect, aint perfect

If you don’t know what the struggles for

Falling down aint falling down

If you don’t cry when you hit the floor.

It’s called the past ‘cause im getting past

And i’m nothing like I was before. You ought to see me now.

By ImAPeach404

December 20, 2007 8:52 AM | Link to this

Beautiful thanks for the advice. But honey, you know that situation is already one for the history books, lol. Homeboy was confused about way more than if he was a daddy or not!!!

:)

Thanks Darrell. Yea, when I don’t have any comments on the topic of the day… I actually do my work! I’ll check out your newsletter.

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 8:54 AM | Link to this

**Good morning blogsville.

Thunder Dan 100% co-sign. Anything other than 100% dedication is unacceptable. Everything else is just an excuse. Unless she’s a knock off.

Lets take a moment to applaud the young guy for being straight up about his situation and not lying. Thats a stand up fella. Plus you get far more azz keeping it real than lying.

For those still looking for a WII don’t give up. I was 1 hour late on Tuesday from picking up a few at Best Buy. Keep hope alive.

Honestly I think waiting is much more a woman thing that a dude thing. I can’t see many dudes waiting around while some chick gets knocked off by the homies. Unless he’s been binforded.

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 8:56 AM | Link to this

*You give him one more chance like the time before.

But he already knows you’d give a hundred more.*

been there.

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 8:57 AM | Link to this

Off Topic: Kinder, Cemeeli, anyone else who is going out tomorrow night, what is the dress code? My weekend is already booked, so I am trying to get my outfits together…lol

By ImAPeach404

December 20, 2007 8:58 AM | Link to this

Oh Slim, thats probably my favorite song on the album. My two favorite lines are: “It’s called the past because I’m getting past” and “My soul has returned so I call it a lesson learned”.

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 20, 2007 9:00 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

Yes I have and would wait for someone. Depending on the circumstances. In your friends case Wisey she is waiting (IMO) for him to get tired of running the streets and come home to good stuff. If that is the case then like Darrelll said she is setting herself up for the okey dokey. Because one who is to say she is the only good stuff going and two he didnt ask her to wait for him, she decided that was the right thing to do. So if ole dude never comes in out of the rain then what? The blame for her misery falls on her not on him. But if it is a situation like Peach where the person has a obvious interest but circumstances are not allowing them to go left or right without having all the correct information then I see nothing wrong with waiting.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

December 20, 2007 9:01 AM | Link to this

Morning All!! I cant say a whole lot on this topic so I’ll sit back and listen! LOL

I have had someone offer to wait for me, which I think is silly. I am not ready for a realtionship and dont know when I will be. To me it would be crazy for me to ask or expect someone to wait for me to be ready. JMHO

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this

Asking someone to wait is just code for “he’s just not that into you.” (or she).

We all have that one celeb that “could get it” on the spot! Same premise. If the opportunity presented itsself, there are some folks that people would not let go…under most any circumstance. The same is true for the guy or girl that you meet that you don’t ever want to see end up with someone else. That’s the type of the relationship you should seek.

Good luck to your friend WiseDiva.

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 9:11 AM | Link to this

top of the Mornin to ya! - I’ve never just asked someone to wait for me nor have I been in that situation. However there is an automatic waiting period when you’re dating someone usually 1-3 mo’s people need time to dead those other “friendships” they have going on so they can focus on just you.

Peach404 - Glad to see you ended that one just to let you ladies know. when you have a situation like: *lets just say there was a baby on the way and he had to wait until January to find out if it was his! * = this means that he is NO Longer PULLING out while he waits to see the outcome.

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this

I agree with ARed.

Blog Question: Has anyone ever waited on someone and the relationship actually worked out for the good? I would like to hear some positive experiences on this….

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this

LOL @ “no longer pulling out”! wow

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this

WD Your friend would be better off moving on and “waiting” for someone who is also waiting, but in the sense that they’re waiting “for” someone as opposed to waiting “on” someone. There’s a distinct difference between the two as I see it. Case in point, me. Given that I’m not currently in a relationship, you could say that I am waiting “for” someone, but I’m not waiting “on” anyone.

I hope that makes sense.

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 9:21 AM | Link to this

WiseDiva, thinking about your girls situation…even if she waits and she wins the prize (Mr. Wonderful), he’ll most likely never respect her. She’s like the dog that waits for his owner each night by the door. You love the fact that the dog is loyal to you, but it’s never going to be your equal.

I think she should go out and do her own thing. I’d bet he’d notice her more because she’s not the doormat that is rearranging her life to be with him…she’s got his own thing going and it will be up to him to get in where he fits in! I guarantee he’ll respect her more as well.

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 9:31 AM | Link to this

Page1908 if i would have waited, my situation would of worked out beautifully.

John works for Internal Affairs. He’s in another country for 3 months, then comes home for 1 month. He wants to keep this job until he finishes his Masters (being a cop in ATL didn’t pay well). He wanted me to wait probably around 3 years. I lasted 18 months. If he wants this when he’s ready, he knows where to find me.

By Demi

December 20, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

Slim I would like to apolize for starting the day off dry humping by your desk…I’ve been getting salty looks from ‘slims’ since I left work yesterday…I thought I was an ugly dude for a minute, LOL

I can’t see many dudes waiting around while some chick gets knocked off by the homies

Unless there is a gangbang going…you may have to wait a bit…at lease from what i’ve seen on videos.

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

Morning y’all…..All the fellas are correct!

However, there’s a twist….say you meet a lady/guy and one of y’all are still “legally” married, but quite separated, and living as though you’re single, just waiting on the judge to stamp them papers a vinculo…..is that worth a wait?

By DreamsMaterialize

December 20, 2007 9:36 AM | Link to this

Good Morning

Couldn’t even form my lips ask someone to wait for me, and her asking me to do would get her the GAS FACE. Live your life, and let her live hers. You might miss the real thing waiting for what you think MIGHT work. If your paths cross again, and the time is right, then make it do what it do.

By SeanJohnson3000

December 20, 2007 9:37 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog…reqarding the topic…i think people subconsciously wait on folks whether they know it or not. Some do it by not letting go or not allowing themselves to love other people. Timing is key to relationships…in the past i know i have ran across a few females that may have been wife material but i wasnt in a place that would allow myself to even think in that mannor. That said..would i wait for a person…hard to say…i wouldnt put my life/personal life on hold..but if i am not involved or not serious with anyone and it was the right timing…we could finish what was started.

By ImAPeach404

December 20, 2007 9:39 AM | Link to this

However there is an automatic waiting period when you’re dating someone usually 1-3 mo’s people need time to dead those other “friendships” they have going on so they can focus on just you.

Great point 900. I think thats why there shouldn’t be a big issue with waiting - we should do it anyway.

As far as NO longer PULLING out… lol, that wasn’t the case in this situation. The chick has been living with possible babydaddy #2 since earlier this year.

By SexyLeggs

December 20, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this

Good morning. Wow, to wait for someone until they’ve finished sampling the buffett is a lot to ask of a person. I admire his honesty, but really why wait then. All that waiting you’re doing until he’s full and is now ready to move on to you can and may bring medical problems to YOU. Hey, if you believe in the words of the song B.U.D.D.Y then you’ll have no problem with this concept.

ARed, all boxed and ret ta go!

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this

2C, I met a guy who was legally separated, in fact, his soon to be ex and son had moved to a whole nother state. No dice. I told him to come find me once the divorce was FINAL. 3 months later, he actually did track me down.

The point is…if a person thinks you’re worth it, they’ll let you go until they get THEIR ish together. The possibility of you moving on while they do could be the motivating factor to clean up their act.

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 9:43 AM | Link to this

Wii daddy yes, i would wait for the guy to get divorced, BUT i would give him a date to complete whateva he needs to do.

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this

Beautiful Ok, so you are saying that even though you waited 18 months for him, if he called today, you would still go back?? Why, at the 18 month mark, did you decide to give up? Did you let him know, or did you just stop talking to him altogether?

My only concern with “waiting” is that there is an expectation that once the “wait” is over that everything will be good to go, and sometimes, it’s not. Then at that point, the person may feel like “well, I have waited this long, so I can hold on a little longer”.

I know it’s hard, but sometimes, women especially (myself included) tend to hope things go well, when deep down inside we know they will not. It’s funny because now that I live here in Atlanta, you would not believe the dudes in Phoenix that call or text me everyday all of a sudden interested in me. One dude who I actually dated for a few months earlier this year actually told me this week that he wants to now move here to make it work with me.

SJ dude email me…

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 9:50 AM | Link to this

Thanks SexyLeggs - You rock.

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 9:54 AM | Link to this

Why wait?….there are more options out there..i smell a lil desperation on your friends part..and he is playing on that..

By Demi

December 20, 2007 9:54 AM | Link to this

i would wait for the guy to get divorced

Are there any dudes on here who would wait for a woman to…get a divorce?????

Honestly why? Depending on how long that fool has been married…It would be wise to wait before jumping into another relationship…I think.

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 20, 2007 9:55 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone

I don’t think a person should ever have to wait on someone. Shoot, I get mad when my SO makes me wait 15min on his late azz. NEway, I have a girlfriend who was dating a guy who was divorced with 3 kids. Well, they were dating about 8 months when he found out that he had a 4month old son. That threw homeboy for a loop and he had to find out how he was going to handle things in his life. She wanted to wait on him…I told her not to…she’s still waiting and hoping! It just makes for a miserable period in your life if you actively wait on someone. I think it’s better to just live your life and see where the chips may fall. But it can be heartbreaking to everyday hope that today will be the day!

I always anticipate that when I first meet a dude he still going back to the buffet table…no problems with me there. However, at the time I’m ready to commit and he’s not then I have to keep it moving. I don’t think there’s a workaround. Even if the girl boo hoos and cries and try to convince dude that he should be able to commit…the writing is already on the wall. Now, he just have to be really clever about his doings.

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this

Beautiful (btw, luv the nickname)…and A Red, that happened to me….however, you can’t always give a date as to when your stuff is gonna be finished….the legal system has all kinds of twists and turns…..But, like I said, for all practical purposes I was very much single;

By ImAPeach404

December 20, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this

2C I wouldn’t mind dating a guy who is divorced, but definitely not a guy who is just separated - technically they are still married and I don’t do married guys. Period.

Besides, I know you’re going to need time to enjoy your freedom. I actually want you to have some free time. I’m not to fond of guys who who jump from relationship to relationship and who don’t spend any time being single.

You know Page, thats one reason I NEVER take numbers out of my phone… dudes will call you 6 months later like “Whats up!”.

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this

@Page….WOW!!!!!….But your post is on point…the WOW is for the dudes…talking good now…

By Foots

December 20, 2007 9:59 AM | Link to this

I have to run to a meeting, be back to comment later…

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 20, 2007 9:59 AM | Link to this

I am sorry but I dont get the whole deadline thing.

“I am only going to wait for you until June 12, 2008 after that holler at a playa when you see me on the street.”

Call me what you want but if I say I love you and care and I am willing to put it out there then that means I am all-in. I am not going to set a drop dead for when my affection ends.

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this

I’m with Demi. Why wait for anyone? The worst that could happen is that YOU find someone else. And if you do, then they are probably better than the person you were gonna wait for anyway.

Folks want to act like phones don’t work. Trust me, anyone that into you is gonna find your arse if they screwed up and let you go. If they don’t come after you, they weren’t worth it anyway!

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this

Page1908 in a hot minute! he can come back at anytime, BUT only if he’s ready to commit, etc. i left after 18 months because waiting was really hard for me. it’s like a child waiting for xmas to come.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

December 20, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this

Sexylegg Your 9:42 post was on point… nine times out of ten the guy want you to exclusively date hime while he causal date you….. I can’t get with that program at all…

By Demi

December 20, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

Those stories on V-103.3 are depressing as today’s topic…LOL

Demi is now slappin the crap outta happiness

Wake up Pimp!!!

We need some Happiness in the world today!!

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

Demi……I can answer from my own experiences….divorces don’t happen over night; so during that time frame of wating on the judge, you’re going to go out and live your new life of freedom….along the way you’ll meet someone…when you do, let ‘em know what you’re going through; If she’s a knock-off, well, knock her off and keep going, she doesn’t have to know the intricate details of your life; But one worth investing in, tell her, and let the cards fall how they may.

By DreamsMaterialize

December 20, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

I don’t care if she’s waiting for a divorce, trying to find herself, waiting for a promotion, or waiting for it to rain in Georgia, I’m not waiting with her. lol It’s like Wimpy from Popeye “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today, but in the background you see the calendar in the diner has all Thursdays on it. Tuesday is never coming!

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 10:07 AM | Link to this

Rell and Peach yep, exactly. I also agree with Dimples.

One dude sent me a text message last weekend like “hey Page, wassup, how r u? you going to the Suns game tonight?” So I responded, “i am fine…who is this?” The he responded “awww dayum it’s like that…you must have deleted my number”. I was like “yeah who is this”? And he was like “It’s Kenny!”, Then I was like “oh hi”…lol

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

Are there any dudes on here who would wait for a woman to…get a divorce?????

-Personally I stay away from married women all together. I don’t believe a word they have to say on the status of the relationship. It is in my mind a direct violation of the ultimate man law #5. We get knocked all the time for failing to commit or being scared to walk the isle(plank). Then you have this dude who stepped up to the plate and said “I do” in front of God and the whole world. So for me to know she’s married and run up in that is just low. Also I do believe this man now has the right to TRY and stop my heart from beating, not that he will succeed but he has the right to FLIP out and try.

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this

Well, Beautiful, at least you are honest with yourself about wanting to take him back. Waiting is hard, I know. Are you still moving back to Cali? What about if you met someone here who you really liked and he asked you to wait? Would you wait on him or anyone else, or just the one dude you already waited 18 months for?

I used to think that someone wouldn’t wait for me, but I see it is possible. Ughhhh it’s hard, though. Aunt Flow is really bugging me today…lol

By Staceye

December 20, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this

My Motto is….”Time waits for no man…so why should I”! Life is short and I’ll be damned if I spend it waiting on someone who does not know if he only wants to be with me. I see it as this…catch me while you can because I keep it moving forwqrd not backward! That si like people breakup and get bak together over and over. Hello…you break up for a reason….know when to cut your losses and move on before you wake up 10-20 years down the line p** at yourself for wasting precious time on trying to make something out of nothing. Some people do that out of fear of starting over and having to go out actually be single. People act like it’s som epidemic! There is nothing wrong with getting to know and love yourself and knowing what you do and don’t want!

WD your friend would be a fool to wait on some dude to finally finish sewing his oats then decides to “settle” for her because he knows she Old Faithful. Just like like that old relaible Caddy in the garage…it will always be there waiting to take him places…but for now he wants to test drive the shiny Benz, BMW, Lexus, Bently, etc…

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this

Are there any dudes on here who would wait for a woman to…get a divorce?????

Demi todays convo is a great example of the differences between men and womens thinking patterns. This is eye opening.

A few weeks after my separation a married female co-worker hooked me up with here gf. We kicked it for 3 year but she always said as said as soon asI got through the divorce I’d leave her. She was right. She never had my heart, she was a gentle landing after a rough part of my life. Waiting didn’t and never would have worked for her.

ARED please explain this concept to me. “The same is true for the guy or girl that you meet that you don’t ever want to see end up with someone else. That’s the type of the relationship you should seek.”

I may be slow but the fact that a potential mate could wind up with someone else has never been a factor in dating or a part of my thought process. I’ve heard another blogger mention taking someone off the market so nobody else will get them and I thought that was wild as hell. Seems weak to me.

2C still not worth the wait for me. Plus I don’t want to catch a woman coming out of a divorce. What you get is mystery meat.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this

“Are there any dudes on here who would wait for a woman to…get a divorce?????”

Not this dude.

To think that a divorce becoming final is the springboard to “living happily ever after” is no less illusory than somebody waiting on someone for some other reason. In each instance the person doing the waiting is misguided at best, and downright loopy at worst.

Waiting for a divorce to be final is like chasing after the wind. Perhaps it would be better for us all if we learned to be content than happy, because the search for happiness is a revolving door that often times causes people to stray and wander from what’s best for them.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

December 20, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

Demi and DreamsMaterialize * Yall are too funny. *Demi I with you about V-103, I like what the are doing and all but I get all sensitive and start crying so to keep that from happening I turned it off.

*DreamsMaterialize * You wouldn’t wait on her to get a promotion you are a mess..

Staceye roll call whereya at girly…

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

My Motto is….”Time waits for no man…so why should I” Stop frontin Staceye your motto is: “No more SAUSAGES… PLEASE!”

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this

Page1908 girl, i think about that err’day. i’m trying my hardest not to date until i get home. if i bump into a guy and we hit it off, i’m in deep shyt. will i stay? will he come and visit me in CA? i can’t say until i look into those sexy azz eyes. i can’t wait to date. i hate being alone.

… … … to be continued.

By melo

December 20, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this

High u all.Just lurking, LadyBoss putting me to work. Just wanted to check in and see who is on rotation as far as breakfast goes.Hope u ladies are back to the usual schedule, temporarily highjacked yeaterday. As for the topic, agree with Truth.Waiting is a ladies thing, esp when they have another guy they are eyeing or just playing games. Guys dont do that, they would rather tell u they are not into a serious realtionship, just want a knock off from time to time(not in that lingo ofcourse, but thats the code) When u confident in urself and what u bring to a man or woman u dont wait for nobody.If they catch u later on before u commit to somebody and they happen to have sort out their issues, and u still interested(after hiv tests and all, remember they dipped without a condom) hell ya, get it on!! Have a nice day yall, wll check later.

By Just asking

December 20, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

@ Beautiful

Just asking, yesterday you went into a fit on Whaddaya Think because there was a “I’m in too deep with a married man” scenario painted. I believe someone mentioned today still being legally married during the course of painting their “waiting” scenario. What? No explotives from you? How was it that you did not trip and go slap off on that person, when “married” is “married?” How is it that you grazed right past the comment? What? Because he’s the man in the situation. You only go off on the women (or you assume) because you’re bitter.

By Staceye

December 20, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

MsU Here I’m iz! LOL

By DreamsMaterialize

December 20, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

MsUnderstood aka MsU Hey, you never know how far away that promotion really is. Could be a month, a year, or maybe it’s just her own pipe dream. lol Things will happen if the timing is right, if not you gotta keep moving, or you might miss YOUR promotion. lol

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

December 20, 2007 10:33 AM | Link to this

Really we are living in a time where we don’t have to wait for nothing. Everything is quick, fast and in a hurry…. My self-esteem is to high for me to wait on a guy to decide I am the best option. Reminds me of the reality show The bachelor, 30 women hoping that 1 man will choose them. puh-lezz!!!

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this

Beautiful I know what you mean and can definitely relate. I just hope that when you move back you will find someone there, but in case you don’t, I hope you don’t get sad or disappointed because you just never know. You just have to play it by ear. I know for me, it took me leaving Cali and moving to Phoenix to realize a lot about myself, and now that I am here, I can look back on a lot of experiences and understand them more.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

Beautiful

“i can’t wait to date. i hate being alone.”

That’s some SERIOUS honesty right there. Much respect to you for that. :-)

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

Truth - All it meant is that you should wait for the person that isn’t unsure of his/her feelings for you. If you are dealing with commitment minded people, there will be someone who comes along that makes you want to hang up the player card.

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

Just asking the guy from yesterday was not getting a divorce. he told her that he wanted to work out his marriage. go back and read that part. they were cheating! getting a divorce with papers sitting at the court house and cheating are NOT the same. there is a wife and kids at home waiting on daddy to come through the door.

By For Real

December 20, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this

What up Blog Fam!

I don’t believe in waiting. I believe if it’s meant to be it will be. I am on my road in life and you are on yours. If God wants us to be together then our roads will intersect. If not then it was wonderful meeting you.

By GA.Man AKA "Mr. Entertainment"

December 20, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

Good Morning

pssssttt guys dont forget about tom.

lolololol

How is everyone doing?

By Dan

December 20, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

Would you wait on someone that is seperated?

I once met a lady and we “dated” for about a month before I found out that she was married (from her kid at that!). Upon hearing the news, I inquired as to the reason for the deception and not the entire truth.

She said it didn’t matter, they were “effectively” divorced and that the time spent with me was developing her feelings for us….

At that point, I’m like, ewwww…what else hasn’t she told me? Do you have more children with this (or any other) man? How long has the seperation been? In the midst of watching Monday night Football, I’m finding out all manner of foolishness had been going on that I wasn’t privy to.

Needless to say, we couldn’t hang after that, and I was on the stroll out that night. She called a week later and wanted to “work things out” but a breach like that (with me and her husband) left questions about her character that I wasn’t willing to get into.

So to answer the question, I did, but didn’t know about it until it was too late.

By For Real

December 20, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

OH I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT I GOT MY WII THIS MORNING!!!

By Foots

December 20, 2007 10:45 AM | Link to this

Would you be willing to wait for someone? What if they were dating multiple people?

I assume when I meet someone that they are dating at least one person. They should assume the same about me. So in that case, if we see something special developing, we will actually be waiting for each other.

I haven’t had anyone ask me to wait for them. I’ve been in a situation where my heart was with a particular man, but I dated and had relationships with other people. When he expressed his desire for a relationship, I was not single, but after my relationship ran its course, we were together.

If you met someone new and the timing wasn’t ideal to start a relationship, how long would you wait for them? Have you ever asked anyone to wait for you?

I haven’t had anyone ask me to wait for them. I’ve been in a situation where I met a man and my heart was with him, but he didn’t want to be exclusive. So we were friends only. I dated and had relationships with other people during our friendship. When he expressed his desire for a relationship, I was not single, but after my relationship ran its course several months later, we were together.

Bad timing is real. I say that two major things have to happen for a relationship to develop: timing and chemistry. Yeah, I have been the right person for a man, but he wasn’t ready. And there have been times where a dude wanted something more with me, but I wasn’t looking for a relationship with him due to no chemistry. You can wait out bad timing, but not chemistry; that’s either there or it’s not. Only time can tell if the “bad timing” explanation was an excuse or not.

By BLAT

December 20, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

Sup, Blogsville!!!

I’ll make this one short n sweet.

Blat waits for no woman. Ever.

I actually had a woman offer to wait for me a few months ago. She literally sat me down and said she understood I was in my “ladies man” vs “lover” stage, and that she would give me time and leave the door open whilst I worked all my Ish out; meantime, I could come to her whenever and it was on n crackin…

While on the surface that seems like one he11 of an arrangement for a brotha, how in the world could a girl expect me to put her #1 if she’s not doing the same???? We’re now just good friends, but that was really some mess….

By Tazzee

December 20, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

Morning folks!

Nope I’m not waiting on anyone. At least not purposefully. I have to agree with SeanJ in that if some guy happens to take up heartspace and he’s not ready, I will try to date others. But he might still get top priority when he gets his stuff together and comes a calling. I would never consciously do that, but I found that to be the case with this one guy last year. He had issues, I moved on, was meeting and hanging out with other guys. He pops back up and I found that I was willing to pick back up where we left off.

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

Important things happen when your targets are alone: the slightest feeling of relief that you are not there, and it is all over. Fa¬ miliarity and overexposure will cause this reaction. Remain elusive, then, so that when you are away, they will yearn to see you again, and will associate you only with pleasant thoughts. Occupy their minds by alternating an excit¬ ing presence with a cool dis¬ tance, exuberant moments followed by calculated absences. Associate yourself with poetic images and objects, so that when they think of you, they begin to see you through an idealized halo. The more you figure in their minds, the more they will envelop you in seductive fantasies. Feed these fantasies by subtle inconsistencies and changes in your behavior.

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

Peach404 - you said: I’m not to fond of guys who who jump from relationship to relationship and who don’t spend any time being single. No I have always had conflicts w/ this one cuz I’m single now for past 3mo but I’ve been dating. I never like to bring up or talk much about past girls I’ve been w/ to the new one I’m dating. However it seems that they WANT me to tell them that Oh yeah we just broke up… I get the vibe that me being single for a while is NOT a good thing. No I don’t lie I’ve just gotten used to the sideways look I get, or the smurk that says “Oh you just runnin thru erryting!”

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this

From where For Real?

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this

LOL MsU…I love “The Bachelor”! This season was a real shocker! lol

My friend sent me a text message saying something like a man needs to make you a priority, not an option. I thought that was interesting.

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 20, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this

If you’re still married, but out of the house are you technically separated? I would have thought it was okay to date a man who has moved out of the house and in the process of getting a divorce….is that not right?

By For Real

December 20, 2007 10:54 AM | Link to this

One night at dinner……

Chick: For Real you know i love you but I got soooo much going on right now in my life.

For Real: (thinking to himself) Hmmm I wonder if I say well done will it come out burnt.

Chick: You know one of the things that I love about is how you wait for me to get my full thought out before you respond.

For Real: (Still thinking to himself) Oh look at that, they serve freshly steamed green bean in a butter wine sauce.

Chick: Well For Real what I’m tring to say is, I need about 3 months to get myself together and I would like very much if could wait for me to get right .

For Real: Look-a-here “Cain’t Get Right” I cain’t even wait for my meal to get here and besides you know ADD.

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

Dimples, I would tend to think that, too…but then again, that is such a gray area. I don’t know

By SeanJohnson3000

December 20, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

Things folks have waited on in the name of LOVE/relationships…you have waited to get the puddy..you have waited on commitment..you have waited for a ring….you have waited to be told i love you first…you have waited on someone to treat you like u wanted them to.. u waited for her to finally sck ya dyck then u waited for to learn how to actually do right..you waited for her to learn how to cook almost like your momz..you waited for him to act right..you waited for him to stop running the streets…you waited for her to finish up her mba..she waited for you to finish undergrad…u waited for her to tighted back up after the baby..u waited for her to lose the baby weight…she waited on your to lose the 15lbs u gained when u got a real job and stop going to run and shoot at 12am…you waited on him to finally leave the chic alone he was fcking since before yall got serious..

By Just Asking

December 20, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

@ Beautiful

Just semantics…don’t you think?

By Tazzee

December 20, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

off topic - I need a little help from one of my bible bloggers. What is the scripture that says something about a woman’s laughter makes for a happy home? I’m thinking Darrell would know this off the top of his head.

on topic even with the pending divorce situation, I still would not wait. I think that if a guy has plans to be with me when he gets divorced, then he’ll come find me when he gets that paper. If it’s meant for us to be together, we will be together. But I think asking someone to wait on you is very selfish because, like you said, you don’t know when that’s going to occur. Also there’s always the chance that he and his wife might decide to work things out. So I would tell a guy to give me a call when the divorce was final and if he couldn’t understand that then he only had his best interests at heart…not mine.

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

“Plus I don’t want to catch a woman coming out of a divorce. What you get is mystery meat.”…..kinfolk, you’re right, it’s like a double edged sword……

my education from the episode I mentioned, was in hindsight….cause I didn’t tell ‘ol girl nothing!!! nada!! cause as you said, she was a “rebound”, “soft landing”……

By Dan

December 20, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this

@For Real

Another classic! ADD! HA!

But seriously, I thought I had that problem for a minute, esp. in the AUC. I’d me in the middle of one conversation and start another off the love tap, wave and wink.

I was running around like a chicken with the head cut off for a while….

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

Dimples getting a divorce and having papers at the court house is NOT the same. to me anyways.

By Staceye

December 20, 2007 11:07 AM | Link to this

900K LMAO! You are crazy man! Just because a sista has not has sausage in many many months…does not mean I do not like beef! Wink Wink! I’m just on a diet right now! LOL

For Real I co-sign your 10:40…shocking isn’t it?

Then here comes your skit….Classic For Real! LOL

By For Real

December 20, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Blat I had a women tell me she was willing to be #2. That was the most frightening ish I ever heard of…

Truth I got it from the streets

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 11:10 AM | Link to this

Just Asking i’m not going there with you. just work on getting your own man!

By pisces07

December 20, 2007 11:11 AM | Link to this

Wait on a woman to get a divorce? Uh.., No!

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 20, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

Beautiful Honey let it go..

Page Postitive stories of waiting. hmmmm where can I start I know marriages that have survived affairs, I know personally of marriages that have been built on affairs. I know of affairs that have lasted the entire time of the marriage and the people wound up happy and whole. There are 8 million stories in the naked city..and not all of them are negative.

Katherine Hepburn tipped around with Spencer Tracey from 1940 until he died in 1967.

By Demi

December 20, 2007 11:12 AM | Link to this

2CPTG© I can respect that…

On dating a divorce woman

I ain’t going to front, it is fun showing them around town and helping them ease back into the dating world, but far as a relationship…no. She need at lease 2 or 3 years of single hood before thinking of jumping with Demi for the long haul…I will still remain a good friend for years to come.

MsUnderstood hell y’all got New York, lol 30 foolish cats fighting over a fish

Demi is now waiting for a JustMe, Sexy, Bre, CeeCee, or DasV…to come into his life and with her, ride this B-ish called Lyfe until the wheels falls off

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

SJ3 - …then u waited for her to learn how to actually do right -Yeah you might want to stay around for that! This will have you waitin to leave. Like: “Man this chic gots to go, she aint shyt!… but she finally got the bobble head on lock! Ok Im out as soon as I find another chic that can come at least close…”

By Dan

December 20, 2007 11:15 AM | Link to this

@ For Real (regarding 11:09)

You’d be surprised how often you may here that. She #1 to someone else and still willing to be your #2.

Those kind you feel sorry for….kinda!

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

December 20, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

Sean Johnson Boy you stuuuupid! LOL

By Jay

December 20, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

If a person is dating multiple people now, what makes you think he is going to stop. You will end up being a side dish on the buffet. Beautiful Stop waiting, I am here for you. You have waited long enough.

By Tazzee

December 20, 2007 11:20 AM | Link to this

LadyDark I think the decision to date a separated person is personal. If a person is fine with it, more power to them. But I wouldn’t go there.

Cain’t Get Right - LOL! I love that movie, might watch while I’m packing tonight.

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 11:23 AM | Link to this

Staceye - diet huh? yeah all of you hollywood types are into anorexia. By the way how’s it going w/ you and the type cast gang member/ angry brotha/ pimp dude from class? Did you leap just yet?

By For Real

December 20, 2007 11:25 AM | Link to this

Dan #1 to someone else and still willing to be your #2. It’s Christmas time stop with the scary stories.

For Real now sucking his thumb thinking of a happy place, thing of a happy place.

By T-Mango

December 20, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

Wait??

I’d have a problem waiting for one of Miss Ann’s famous ghetto burgers… I become impatient waiting for a parking space at the mall, etc… lol.

Waiting for a person to be fully present in your life is a huge risk with alot of unknowns. To me, asking someone to wait is another way of saying “I’m not ready. Please put your life on hold until I am.” That’s a selfish request to make. In that scenario, I think resolving your situation and then coming back to the table to talk to the person you may desire after you’re done is a better approach.

So, for me, if a man that I’m not committed to can’t “deaden” a relationship with an old flame over a cup of joe at Starbucks or resolve a situation through a weekend ride by plane, train or automobile-I’ll be cutting my losses early.

On the flip side, if we are in a relationship and life calls (ie: you need some time to work something out), I’ll give you room to do that. However, I am going to trust that the decisions you make not only take your life into consideration, but how that decision could possibly affect us as a couple into consideration too.

On a sidebar, I am having a hard time understanding why it takes 1-3 months to break ties with other folks. To me, the fact you are considering breaking ties with them to be with someone else says that they aren’t the person that you want to be with. If that’s so, why should it take so long to let it go? Sounds more like buying time and keeping options open to me… By that I mean, taking your time to dissolve old friendships just in case something unexpected happens with the new friendship. If the new one fails unexpectedly, then you can fall back on the old without having to rebuild your lineup from scratch.

By Dan

December 20, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

Good point Jay!

That’s why I’m a little leery of women telling about the other dudes they dating.

First I don’t wanna know, second what does that make me?, third and importantly, what happens if one of us get serious about the other one? What then?

Not that I don’t date women that are dating other dudes, I’m just leery, cause the first time I hear “well I got plans with such-and-such”, I’m out….

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

Jay what’s up? lol. when we goin’ to play some pool?

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 11:33 AM | Link to this

Blat and For Real I don’t think its that surprising that a woman would wait for you or be #2. As I learn here everyday women are wired totally different than the guys. Alot of chicks out their don’t even mind you having a spare but they don’t want to see it or have it thrown in their faces. Its all in how you present it to them and where they are in their lives. Now a dude that would do that is another story. LOL

For Real can “THE STREETS” get another one and at what price, including your mark up? LMAO

Beautiful I wish you had a better experience in the ATL. I hope you post from home and let us know how its going out there. If I had a partner that was worth a dam I’d hook you up. LOL (That was a joke ladies)

Tazzee you just hit on something with that a lady that smiles makes a happy home thing. A happy woman does make a house a home. After you’ve met one all the fakes are obvious to you.

By kinderbabe

December 20, 2007 11:36 AM | Link to this

t-mango thanks for typing your post. you saved me the time and brain power…lol.:) i agree 100%. why wait?

By SeanJohnson3000

December 20, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

@ Page1980..it bounced back so i have the wrong address

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 11:37 AM | Link to this

Familiarity destroys seduction. This rarely happens early on; there is so much to learn about a new person. But a midpoint may arrive when the target has begun to idealize and fantasize about you, only to discover that you are not what he or she thought. It is not a question of being seen too often, of being too available, as some imagine. In fact, if your targets see you too rarely, you give them nothing to feed on, and their attention may be caught by someone else; you have to occupy their mind. It is more a matter of being too consistent, too obvious, too human and real. Your tar¬ gets cannot idealize you if they know too much about you, if they start to see you as all too human. Not only must you maintain a degree of distance, but there must be something fantastical and bewitching about you, sparking all kinds of delightful possibilities in their mind.

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 11:38 AM | Link to this

T-Mango @ sounds more like buying time and keeping options open to me…this is interesting because to me, this is exactly the same as when he/she says well, i ain’t really “lookin” for anything right now, but it it happens, it happens. My opinion is that that is a code phrase for well, you and are cool, but i am not going to commit to ANYTHING with you in case something else better comes along and I need an easy out.

By Foots

December 20, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

Lady DD If you’re still married, but out of the house are you technically separated? I would have thought it was okay to date a man who has moved out of the house and in the process of getting a divorce….is that not right?

Technically speaking, that still leaves me with an uneasy feeling. Once the papers are filed and the process has started, then maybe. It’s better to wait until everything is final to continue the relationship.

I had that situation with the “divorced” guy I dated and found out that he was still legally married, but physically separated, two months into things. They had been living separately for 18 months at that point and had been arguing for months about which state they were going to file the papers in (different child support laws). I would have preferred that he would have handled his business or at least let me know what was going on before bringing me into all that drama, but he said that he thought I wouldn’t date him if I knew everything up front. He was right about that.

By Jay

December 20, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

Beautiful…LOL you are funny. I am here waiting on you. Come go with me to pick out a Christmas tree. I think I have the spirit now. When is it too late to put upa tree?

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 11:42 AM | Link to this

Tazz….the closest scripture you’ll find in ref to what you said is Psalm 113:9…..“He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children.”

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

December 20, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

Not sure who asked the question since I am speed reading to catch up but I am separated, papers at the courthouse and I date. I have been separated for a lil over a year and just waiting for the court to say its final. I date but I always make it known that I am not looking for a relationship due to my divorce not being final (and I just am not ready). I think it depends on the person how you handle it. I wouldnt date someone going through a divorce b/c I am there now and I know what that is like. You arent ready for a relationship unless you have been separated for years.

By Staceye

December 20, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

900 I am not anorexic..anymore! lol

As far the guy…I never said he was like that..I just said I was attracted to him. We will continue to work together..but I will never tell him!

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

What I need is a woman who is something, anything; ei¬ ther very beautiful or very kind or in the last resort very wicked; very witty or very stupid, but something. —ALFRED DE MUSSET

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

Dan so, ok, interesting. So you would be done with her if she said she had plans with someone else? What about when you have plans with someone else? What expectations would you have of her at that point? Is there a double standard in your scenario?Please elaborate….

This is so confusing…lol. So a woman can’t show too much interest in you, because then she is a bugaboo, but if she goes and makes plans with someone else, that’s it?

If I express interest in someone, then that means I have taken the initiative to let them know. Now, I a smart enough to know that they may not always feel the same, and that is ok, too. But you can best believe that if I have expressed the interest and there is no interest there from his side, plans will be made with someone else.

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

This need to idealize extends to our romantic entanglements, because when we fall in love, or under the spell of another person, we see a reflec¬ tion of ourselves. The choice we make in deciding to become involved with another person reveals something important and intimate about us: we resist seeing ourselves as having fallen for someone who is cheap or tacky or tasteless, because it reflects badly on who we are. Furthermore, we are often likely to fall for someone who resembles us in some way. Should that per¬ son be deficient, or worst of all ordinary, then there is something deficient and ordinary about us. No, at all costs the loved one must be overvalued and idealized, at least for the sake of our own self-esteem. Besides, in a world that is harsh and full of disappointment, it is a great pleasure to be able to fantasize about a person you are involved with.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 11:45 AM | Link to this

Tazz I’m gonna try and connect your 10:59 to what Beautiful said about being tired of being alone.

I’m not too proud to acknowledge that I feel the same as Beautiful, which is probably one reason I didn’t really feel motivated to decorate my house for Christmas. I’ll never forget what my mom told me the very first time she came to my house after I bought it three years ago. The first words out of her mouth were: “Darrell, you need a woman in here.”

What she meant was that as nice as she thought the house was, it wasn’t yet a home because a woman’s presence was missing. It’s still missing, but prayerfully, not for much longer. I only say all that to say that I can related to what both of you are saying.

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 11:46 AM | Link to this

people are dying to be given the chance to fantasize about you. Do not spoil this golden opportunity by overexposing yourself, or becoming so familiar and banal that the target sees you exactly as you are. You do not have to be an angel, or a paragon of virtue—that would be quite boring. You can be dangerous, naughty, even somewhat vulgar, depending on the tastes of your victim. But never be or¬ dinary or limited. In poetry (as opposed to reality), anything is possible

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

SJ I’m at pageantgirl_1908 at yahoo dot com.

By Foots

December 20, 2007 11:47 AM | Link to this

Truth Alot of chicks out there don’t even mind you having a spare but they don’t want to see it or have it thrown in their faces…Now a dude that would do that is another story.

There are plenty of men who date women who are in other relationships. They ARE the spare. To say otherwise is to say that women don’t cheat, and they do, so they must be cheating with someone.

Dan importantly, what happens if one of us get serious about the other one? What then?

But isn’t this what happens anyway? You decide to be serious, if that’s what the two of you want, and you stop seeing your other “friends”. Or do you come into a new friendship with no other friends, completely single and dateless, and expect her to do the same?

By SexyLeggs

December 20, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

I may have read this wrong, but when a person says “I have plans with so an so” and the person receiving this decides to bounce I don’t blame him/her. To come out and say it borders on disrespect. It’s all a game of semantics. A person would rather here I have plans. Not I have plans w/so and so because now a form of competition evolves and egos are pinched.

IMHO I feel all should wait at least a year or more before dating again after a divorce. Re-evalulation of one’s self and their particular point in life is so necessary to forge a healthy relationship down the road. I’m so cool w/myself it’s plum crazy. Other than the twinges, I’m good (for now) (LOL).

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

Darrell….ain’t trynna throw salt, but kinfolk you sounding kinda sad, right about now……QC ain’t got no friends for you?

QC, what’s the deal Ms. Lady? Hook ya brother up!

By Dan

December 20, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

@Page

My issue is with priority. If I have plans with someone I kinda like as opposed to plans with someone I like a lot, then the latter gets priority.

That’s my point. If I’m not a priority, why am I here? And no that doesn’t extend to children….I would never presume.

And a bugaboo calls everyday, to talk about nothing…A bugaboo just wants to be under you…A bugaboo has no other life or friends…

@Rell

You make interesting points. I realized that in myself a while back. I was dating a string of women, who for whatever reason were unavailable (see earlier post). Finally I realized that I was unavailable and choosing these women to verify that fact subconsiously. I was reminded of that by your post, and an episode of “Sex in the City” last night. “I pick the wrong men”.

But yeah, we choose our reflection, and it isn’t until we begin to work on ourselves that better people come into our lives. Because we are working to become better people.

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

Darrell the way your mom thinks about your house is the same way i think about my bedroom. when i crawl into bed at night . … … … it’s just not the same.

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

Jay i know ppl who put up their tree on xmas day. babe, it’s never too late.

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 12:03 PM | Link to this

Cleopatra knew that she was really no different from any other woman, and in fact her face was not particularly beautiful. But she knew that men have a tendency to overvalue a woman.All that is required is to hint that there is something different about you, to make them associate you with something grand or poetic. She made Caesar aware of her connection to the great kings and queens of Egypt’s past; with Antony, she created the fantasy that she was descended from Aphrodite herself. These men were ca¬ vorting not just with a strong-willed woman but a kind of goddess. Such associations might be difficult to pull off today, but people still get deep pleasure from associating others with some kind of childhood fantasy fig¬ ure.

By Storm

December 20, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

GOOD AFTERNOON! peeking in and waving Hope everyone is loving life. Miss you Demi.

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

Foots I was referring to a dude that is having a relationship with a woman that is dating someone else. Alot of dudes would knock off a chick but he’s not going to put alot of effort into it. There are women that will give the #2 spot all she has, and then some. Dudes don’t do that. Hell, really we categorize all women as a knock off and let then upgrade themselves.

Tell me you know a dude, or have ever heard of a dude for that matter, thats giving the #2 spot all his efforts and I’ll show you a bi guy waiting to be the 3rd azz in bed.

Darrell your last post was a little eye opening. I’d assume you’d have alot of women to choose from with your church activities, newsletter, and your outside activities. Maybe one of the ladies in blogsville is intersted in meeting you. Post your resume and an open for business sign and see what happens. LOL

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

T-mango to answer you on: On a sidebar, I am having a hard time understanding why it takes 1-3 months to break ties with other folks. To me, the fact you are considering breaking ties with them to be with someone else says that they aren’t the person that you want to be with.

That’s just one way to look at it. However when I stated 1-3mo’s I mean at the beginning when you’re just dating and getting to know the other person. Females I date always tend to have more “male friends” then chics for one and add that to the fact that they are very attractive. I cannot simply be naive and think that after just 18 days of knowing me she has left her social life in the past for me (although this could very well be the case). You see I am territorial about mine, possessive with who I am serious about. If its only been 2wks and she still gets an occasional call past 10pm tho I’m not cool with that its not much I can say about it we’ve only been kickin it for 2wks ya dig? But after a couple mo’s that shyt has to be dead. No guy friends phone convos past 2min or at all, no late calls, you see homeboy out in public (only handshakes) no hugs - NOTHIN! If she can’t do that then I walk… simple. NO I am not crazy, I don’t like to argue at all. These types of things are just BIG turn-offs to me and are disrespectful when done on a regular basis so I will end it quickly. No room for BS in my life.

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

December 20, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

Guys of the blog I want to understand you all better so tell me this: What is dating? What is being single? I hear a lot of you guys say that you are single but you are dating about 3 different chicks? What is that all about? This is my favorite one right here: * let be friends and see what happen* I am not a test dummy.LOL

By T-Mango

December 20, 2007 12:05 PM | Link to this

Page1908. I’ve heard that explanation too. I call it the “getaway clause”. LMAO.

Just thinking…If someone were to personally ask me today if I am looking for someone, my answer is “No, I am not looking.” Been there, done that. To me, looking means that you’re letting everyone know that you’re available so you can increase your pool of potentials…But, my not looking doesn’t mean that I’m not open to receiving a person in my life. If someone crosses my path while I’m “doing T” and through developing a friendship we find that there is attraction and we’re equally yolked then I say let things take their course.

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 12:06 PM | Link to this

Dan, ok I see what you mean now. I agree with you 100% and I feel the same. To me, it’s like, well, if I am dating you, then you are a priority, but yes, like you said, both have to feel the same. So, when you meet someone do you let her know she is a priority? If that is the case, then no, I would not make plans with someone else, I would spend time with you.

LOL @ 2! OMG, QC is sweet as pie, so I know she must have some nice friends for Darrell. That is one good thing about having siblings…too bad for me, I don’t have any, I am an only child….lol

Hey QC!

By Tazzee

December 20, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

Thanks 2can I found that one too in my search - I thought I’d read that in the scripture one time, but maybe I was just reading someone’s words.

Darrell I thought you would know based on your website and the things you teach. But I wasn’t trying to connect that to anything we’ve talked about - I wanted to put it in someone’s Christmas card. I got a gift for the woman of the house, not the entire family simply because I know my gift will help her de-stress resulting in the entire home being blessed.

But funny you should bring up your mother’s comment. My friend and I were talking the other day about how we’re meeting all these guys that have had their fill of running the streets and ready to settle down (not saying that’s you). We were talking about how a lot of them hear from their mother ‘son, you’re getting up in age, you need a wife’ and in turn they have no problem saying to a woman ‘I’m getting too old for all this running around, I need to settle down with a wife.’ And at the same time, I’m enjoying my traveling, etc thinking ‘your azz is old and used up, why would I want you?’ LOLOLOL!!!!

Not saying that’s you Darrell, but what you posted reminded me of that convo.

By Dan

December 20, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

Foots

You try me so regularly, I love it! Challenge my assertions as much as you choose. My problem is, as always has been, skipping steps. That is your post, asserting thing without the logic…

That said, I’ve stated my views on priority. I’m not saying that I run the roost, but I do need to know I’m the head rooster (pun intended).

Naw, for the reasons stated before, I’m unfortunately, virtually never single. That’s the price I pay for being me….lol

By Demi

December 20, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

Another Thought

After today, the ladies will pen point exactly why some men don’t like waiting long for sex and why most dudes out there are just minute men.

By SexyLeggs

December 20, 2007 12:08 PM | Link to this

Darrell, it’s all a mindset. It really is. Do you internally and it will show externally. Make yourself smile at anything and everything. Since you want a good woman to come into your life, one will!!!!

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 12:10 PM | Link to this

@DAN..thanks, i just like to share things that i read and it speaks loudly to me…all of the passages have come from the art of seduction by Robert Greene..the name throws people, but there is alot more inside…good stuff

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

Targets with active minds are dangerous: if they see through your manipulations, they may suddenly develop doubts. Put their minds gently to rest, and waken their dormant senses, by combining a nondefensive attitude with a charged sexual presence. While your cool, nonchalant air is calming their minds and lowering their inhibitions, your glances, voice, and bearing—oozing sex and desire—are getting under their skin, agi¬ tating their senses and raising their temperature. Never force the physical; instead infect your targets with heat, lure them into lust. Lead them into the moment—an intensified present in which mo¬ rality, judgment, and concern for the fu¬ ture all melt away and the body succumbs to pleasure.

By Staceye

December 20, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

Dan you like Sex in the City too? I watched that episode last night….although I have seen them all over and over again. The show reminds me of me girls and I…not just because we are all from Manhattan..but the scenarios and some of the personalities. But that show was so me…I was Carrie!

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 12:14 PM | Link to this

2CPTG No offense taken, man. It’s cool.

I wouldn’t say I’m feeling sad at all. QC will tell you that I don’t usually let my emotions overly influence my state of mind, so I’m good. If anything, perhaps what you’re picking up from my last comment is a slight melancholy feeling as I was reminded of what my mom once told me. Kinda brings back the lyrics to that song by Luther “A House is Not a Home”. I guess mom and Luther were both right.

I’m just glad to see there’s somebody on this blog who’s not ashmamed to admit that they’re actually tired of being alone.

By Dan

December 20, 2007 12:14 PM | Link to this

@ 900

Not trying to start an argument, but…

I agree with most of your post, except the friend deal.

My last -ex had plenty of male friends. Hug ‘em, kiss ‘em (closed/pursed lips) I don’t care. If you with me, you with me.

By Jay

December 20, 2007 12:15 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs While most people are waiting for the divorce to be final. They are involved with someone on some level. So why wait a year of so after it’s final when you’ve been dating all that time?

By SexyLeggs

December 20, 2007 12:16 PM | Link to this

the way your mom thinks about your house is the same way i think about my bedroom. when i crawl into bed at night . … … … it’s just not the same.

Beautiful, I just got a king-size bedroom suite out of lay-a-way about 6 months ago. I was lying in bed watching Judge Mathis thinking the same thing. Just a sliver of the bed is being occuppied.

By JustMe

December 20, 2007 12:17 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon All

I’m sure its been rather steamy in here today, this is a great topic.

Has waiting for someone ever worked? Do you have any regrets about that or are you happy that you took the risk?

I can’t say that I’ve ever waitied for a guy to get his self together before we started dating. I think why start something you know you are not prepared to start let alone finish?

Do you think that bad timing is really an issue in dating or a crutch we use to avoid getting too close?

Bad timing could easily be a reality for a would-be-couple. One person could be married, involved in the community, politics, attending school, dealing with personal family issues. There are a lot of reasons that the timing could be off. But all in all it has been used as a dating crutch so much for so long, that you’d have to decided on a date by date basis to be sure.

Now when faced with a situation where the object of my affections was not ready to committ, I take the Friend Zone approach (yes guys, this is how it starts).

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 12:18 PM | Link to this

T-Mango lmao, exactly! I really do not like that phrase one bit, but yet, dudes continue to use it as if women don’t know what that means. It’s like dude GTFOH, seriously! lol.

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 12:20 PM | Link to this

Page, I wasn’t trynna be funny, read that post again, dude sounds like he’s making a plea….

Hell, I’m like the others, with all of his “stuff” and his extracurricular activities, I too would naturally assume he’s in a happy ‘lationship……which leads me to some’n else Darrell…didn’t you say you counsel folks at church? My line of thinking has me believing one has to have some experience in the things in which he teaches in order to have some validity.

By Foots

December 20, 2007 12:24 PM | Link to this

Truth I was referring to a dude that is having a relationship with a woman that is dating someone else.

So, is that to say that you expect for a woman that you have met and just started to date to be dating no one other than you from the beginning, i.e., when she met you, she was completely single and not dating? Or are you talking about once you have become serious and exclusive?

By Demi

December 20, 2007 12:25 PM | Link to this

Rell

Illusion is the first of all pleasures…Oscar Wilde

LOL

By Demi

December 20, 2007 12:26 PM | Link to this

For this Blog:

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth. Oscar Wilde

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 12:27 PM | Link to this

Beautiful I feel you on your 12:00. Just know you have someone in me who can definitely sympathize with you. ;-)

Truth Per your 12:04, I guess one could think that, right? I don’t know, bruh. Sometimes I wonder if all that stuff is working against me, ya know? Perhaps in all that I’m involved in I’m giving this impression that I’m some “perfect” person and am looking for somebody who’s “perfect” as well. Damn, I hope that’s NOT the case, because that couldn’t be further from the truth. LOL!

Tazz Per your 12:07, if you only knew me then you’d know that that “runnin’ the streets” part doesn’t and never did apply to me. LOL! I’ve been divorced almost 10 years now and over that time, I’ve taken my time in getting myself ready for another relationship, because I want the next one to be my last. I’ve never been one of these “perpetual daters”, so it’s not so much the waiting as it is the wondering that gets to me sometimes (if that makes any sense to you.) :-)

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 12:30 PM | Link to this

When the time comes to make the seduction physical, train yourself to let go of your own inhibitions, your doubts, your linger¬ ing feelings of guilt and anxiety. Your confidence and ease will have more power to intoxicate the victim than all the alcohol you could apply. Exhibit a lightness of spirit—nothing bothers you, nothing daunts you, you take nothing personally. You are inviting your targets to shed the burdens of civilization, to follow your lead and drift. Do not talk of work, duty, mar¬ riage, the past or future. Plenty of other people will do that. Instead, offer the rare thrill of losing oneself in the moment, where the senses come dive and the mind is left behind.

By Staceye

December 20, 2007 12:31 PM | Link to this

*Sexyleggs8 I have had a kingsize bed size I was Teen. I love having that whole bed to myself to roll around in and sleep freely…without anyone snoring in my ear or taking up my precious space..got satin sheets too…feels great aganst the skin!

By Demi

December 20, 2007 12:32 PM | Link to this

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her

WoW…Oscar

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 12:33 PM | Link to this

2CPTG Per your 12:20, no, I’ve never said I “counsel” anyone. What I do is TEACH classes to single-parents. There’s a HUGE difference, man. Even so, I don’t teach as a robot and I would venture to say that what makes me an effective teacher is the fact that I can relate in real-life terms to what people are going through. I doubt very seriously that I’d have any credibility with those who sit under my teaching if I stood before them as if I have all my ish together.

By BLOW ME

December 20, 2007 12:33 PM | Link to this

Good Afternoon all.

Late start…Yeah I’ll wait…

Right down the other said of the buffett….We can sow our wild oates together. So I’ll sample him and some of him and him too. But wait IDLE for him to stick his lumber in everyone’s fireplace?!?! Hell to da NAH!! 2 CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME!

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 12:35 PM | Link to this

Cemeeliwhere you at? :-)

By SexyLeggs

December 20, 2007 12:36 PM | Link to this

Jay, I was referring to those who aren’t dating. Everyone should take time for themselves after being w/someone for so long. Hell, that’s just my opinion. Everyone do YOU as you deem fit.

By Foots

December 20, 2007 12:37 PM | Link to this

Dan First I don’t wanna know…I’m not saying that I run the roost, but I do need to know I’m the head rooster (pun intended).

So, it wouldn’t bother you if she was dating others as long as she made you feel like you were the priority and as long as you didn’t know it?

By kinderbabe

December 20, 2007 12:38 PM | Link to this

demi well the mask certainly doesn’t get much bigger than this…. btw, how have you been?

By Demi

December 20, 2007 12:40 PM | Link to this

Storm How are ya sis and how are things going?

By SexyLeggs

December 20, 2007 12:42 PM | Link to this

Staceye, don’t get me wrong it feels real good, especially when I stretched my legs out this morning and I could do the “angel move” (what you do in the snow) and still have room. However, sometimes you do look over on the other side wishfully….

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this

Off-topic

Which of these would you say is the best Christmas movie? (You must select from these three only.)

• “Home Alone” (the first one)

• “It’s a Wonderful Life”

• “Miracle on 34th Street”

(I’m assuming most of us have seen these.) :-)

By Demi

December 20, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

I doubt very seriously that I’d have any credibility with those who sit under my teaching if I stood before them as if I have all my ish together.

I knew of a few pastors/so called leaders like that…wow

By Dan

December 20, 2007 12:51 PM | Link to this

@Foots

Word, but isn’t that what happens anyway….which is why the D can never be meantime, in between time type dude.

@Rell

My homeboy swears by the book! Thing of it is, I’ve had that training since birth (advantage of being the youngest!). But you making want to pick up a copy , compare notes, and laugh with my kinfolks over the Holiday.

Might be a litigation situation!

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 12:53 PM | Link to this

Demi “I knew of a few pastors/so called leaders like that…wow” I know, right? (And let’s not name names.) LOL!

By Demi

December 20, 2007 12:54 PM | Link to this

KB I am doing very well..you have one more day left, until you’re out for the year, right?

By Foots

December 20, 2007 12:56 PM | Link to this

Darrell I doubt very seriously that I’d have any credibility with those who sit under my teaching if I stood before them as if I have all my ish together.

I hope I can remember this for when I have children. One thing I wished my mother would have done was to admit her own frailties instead of acting like I was the only one to do something wrong when I was younger. It would have been such a relief for her to say she understood where I was coming from because she had been there too, then explained why XYZ wasn’t such a good idea from her own experiences.

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 12:56 PM | Link to this

Dan - you good, no arguing here man. I know that there are alot of dudes like that but this is just me I can’t change it ya dig? It’s easy for me tho cuz most chics I’ve gotten serious w/ want just that in return and come out and say it b4 they even realize I am the same way. I play it cool

Staceye - King size w/ satin eh? you know them sheets brick azz cold. How you know you aint the one snoring like a grizz bear? maybe I’ll come thru one night to help you warm it up…? friendly type stuff tho a lil espn1&2&cassic and some SPEED chan, don’t worry I wont get under the covers, unless… just a thought

Rell -okay I can see you have turned into the cut and paste king today brah! keep it up and one of them may fall for it. lol

By Dan

December 20, 2007 12:56 PM | Link to this

Miracle on 34th Street. 1994 edition.

Don’t like the black and white version, doesn’t translate well.

By Demi

December 20, 2007 12:57 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs yep, you’ve came a long way in the past year…^5 to ya!!

By Foots

December 20, 2007 1:01 PM | Link to this

Dan which is why the D can never be meantime, in between time type dude.

I’m not sure what that means when we’re under the assumption that when you meet an attractive woman you’d like to date, she’s probably dating someone or is at least friends with folks. Would you like for the women you meet to be completely single?

By SexyLeggs

December 20, 2007 1:04 PM | Link to this

Darrell out of your 3 choices it has to be It’s A Wonderful Life. However, Imitation of Life beats all 3.

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 1:05 PM | Link to this

Blow Me……don’t be saying my whole name…..2 Can Play That Game©…..LOL

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 1:06 PM | Link to this

*Foots “One thing I wished my mother would have done was to admit her own frailties instead of acting like I was the only one to do something wrong when I was younger.”

I’m curious to know how this affects you now (if at all)? Did you find yourself being somewhat of a ‘perfectionist’ because of your mother’s attitude?

By Dan

December 20, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

@Foots

That’s what I mean about training. I was fortunate enough to grow up in an environment where there were no egos (even called Ma Dukes by the first name). There was order and the overwhelming obligation to one another that overrode embarrassment.

For years I’ve listened to tales of uncles, cousins, aunties and the like tell me about their frailties. And mostly they did it to keep me from repeating their mistakes.

But dig it, you keep in mind what that openess means to you, and no doubt you’ll be able to share it with your kids. It provides for interesting situations, but open communication.

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 1:09 PM | Link to this

Staceye but ain’t nothing like sleeping under your man, or burying yourself in his chest with his arms wrapped around you while you’re sleep, or hoppin’ in the bed last and the bed is already warmed up.

you gotta feel me on that.

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 20, 2007 1:10 PM | Link to this

Its a Wonderful Life-Hands Down.

Ever time a bell rings an angel gets its wing.

By SexyLeggs

December 20, 2007 1:14 PM | Link to this

Thanks, Demi. I too think my growth is evident both in my thinking patterns as well as in the fact that I don’t hate men. I like to think that I’ve discarded as much baggage as I possibly could in this past year. Just a little more trash to take out and I’ll be ready!

By kinderbabe

December 20, 2007 1:16 PM | Link to this

demi i’m doing fine. this is the last day for the kids. tomorrow is my last day for the year, you’re right. hallelujah! lol i can’t wait. i definitely deserve a break. i already have a massage planned for saturday. it’s time to get my relaxation on.:) what about you? any big holiday plans?

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 1:18 PM | Link to this

Foots what I’m saying is if you meet me and think anything other than I’m a guy you could give your all to we ain’t going nowhere. I don’t assume every woman is seeing someone because i know alot of lonely chicks. Also, I know a chick will marry a 5th string quaterback so she won’t be lonely but she also won’t be happy. I only hang with women that think I’m all pro. That dude that marries a chick that doesn’t think he’s all that is gonna pay with every breath he takes. This is where guys get yo yoed in this game. Why be a has been when you could meet a chick that thinks your everything she’s ever wanted in life? They’re out there so be patient.

Darrell go buy yourself some Tims and 3 wife beaters and wear them daily for a month without washing em. The smell alone will make you so mad it’ll transform your personality into a hellfire cat. Really, you may need to up your anger game. That “to nice” thing really doesn’t fly and it allows a woman to give you less than you deserve. Don’t be afraid to come outta the shell on her. I promise she’ll invite you over for a warm meal and dessert. LOL

Ok blogsville, i’m cooking brownies for the first time. I’ll tell you how they turn out and hellz naw you can’t have any. The first batch is always experimental. LOL

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 1:20 PM | Link to this

Beautiful *”…but ain’t nothing like sleeping under your man, or burying yourself in his chest with his arms wrapped around you while you’re sleep, or hoppin’ in the bed last and the bed is already warmed up.

you gotta feel me on that.”*

Damn, that was DEEP! You on a ROLL today! :-D

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 20, 2007 1:22 PM | Link to this

Dan That first name shyt is all well and good for modern parents but I wish my son would ever call me or any adult by their first name..there would be smoke in the city. It is always Mr. or Miss or Uncle or Aunt. But yeah different strokes for different folks but then parents wonder why their kids dont respect them. I am not my kids friend or buddy or pal or chump. I am his mother, that is my job, my life, my gift and curse(depending on the day) So sorry he will sit at my feet and learn respect now so no one can have to beat respect into him later.

Foots I can understand why your mom didnt share her life with you like that cause as a parent your job is to set an example. I tell my son there is nothing you can do that I didnt, try or think I invented. Didnt work then…not working now. That is as much as he gets..I am not going into details about my shortcomings for him he is a child. I raise holy hell at him when he does something but at the same time I think “that message is going to sink in.” Because he has screwed up and now he knows the price he has to pay for doing so.

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 1:24 PM | Link to this

I could not sit thru one of those damn movies this year.

My pick for the most underrated Christmas movie ever: GREMLINS

By Foots

December 20, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

Darrell I’m curious to know how this affects you now (if at all)? Did you find yourself being somewhat of a ‘perfectionist’ because of your mother’s attitude?

I can’t say that it had any particular effect on me. I know that she did the best that she could with how she knew to be. From what my mom tells me, my personality is basically the same as it was when I was tiny. She was just telling me last night that even when I was a very little girl, I always knew exactly what I wanted, what I was going to do, what I wasn’t going to do, etc. One of my sister’s children is like that. Being that way, outside influences don’t affect me much. I’m very internally driven and I’m harder on myself than a lot of other people would be. I try to give my best to myself, and when that doesn’t happen (because I’m frail too), I tend to beat myself up.

But really, I don’t think that the fights my mom and I got in when I was a teen and a younger woman have much to do with that. I can remember being like that as a young child.

What that aspect of my personality translated into though, was holding others to a very high standard also. In other words, it’s hard for me to accept less than someone’s best, I don’t like people who don’t try, I don’t like folks who make excuses. In a way, it’s served me well, because I haven’t been a victim to a lot of BS, and if I was subjected to what smelled like BS, I didn’t stick around. On the other hand, it’s made me less forgiving and less willing to work things through in relationships. But that was my major area to work on for 2007, learning how to become more forgiving of myself AND others.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 1:29 PM | Link to this

Truth “go buy yourself some Tims and 3 wife beaters and wear them daily for a month without washing em. The smell alone will make you so mad it’ll transform your personality into a hellfire cat.”

LOL! ‘prciate that (I think.)

Seriously though, man, don’t misconstrue my mild-mannered nature on this blog to be all-encompassing of who I am. I ain’t no Barney Fife (only got one bullet.)

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 1:30 PM | Link to this

@900, AGAIN i am only sharing to help folks think outside the box….that is all…folks keep doing the same thing but expect a different outcome - that is a sign of a crazy person!!!

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 1:35 PM | Link to this

Darrell go buy yourself some Tims and 3 wife beaters and wear them daily for a month without washing em. The smell alone will make you so mad it’ll transform your personality into a hellfire cat. - Yeah and fry chicken wings every night for dinner w/out changin the grease and eat them w/ straight hot sauce while watchin Malcom X on DVD just the first half! LOL

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 1:37 PM | Link to this

Foots “I try to give my best to myself, and when that doesn’t happen (because I’m frail too), I tend to beat myself up.”

I appreciate your transparency on that, Foots. I was definitely thinking it was something along those lines.

By Foots

December 20, 2007 1:42 PM | Link to this

Kym I didn’t ask her to share her life with me. If I had been given as much information as you gave your son, I would have been a little relieved.

There’s a point where “Don’t touch that stove because I said so” doesn’t work anymore. I would have rather had “Don’t touch that stove because it’s hot and it will burn your hand. See here on my hand? This is what can happen to you if you don’t listen.” Especially with how smart and cunning I was. That’s not sharing the life story, but it IS providing a concrete example of what can happen if you are not careful or obedient. Things that are common sense now at 30 were not common sense at 15.

I want to tell my child as much as I feel will help him or her make better decisions than I did growing up, depending on that child’s age and maturity level. We didn’t get that at all.

Truth By the time you reach the stage of marriage, of course you should be the only one and you should think of each other on the highest level. I’m talking about when you meet and begin to date. In order for her to know that you are the type of guy you could give her all to, it will take some time. If she can see everything that you are immediately, how much could there be?

So, do you expect exclusivity from the moment you meet a woman you are interested in? Or are you free to date others until you both know that you are right for the other and discuss exclusivity somewhere down the road?

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 1:42 PM | Link to this

2 I know you weren’t being funny, but it was kinda funny because I never thought about that. Darrell seems to be a nice guy and QC talks very highly of him, so I would think the same thing too.

Ok, ladies, so I went to lunch at Lenox right now, and there was this dude who was like OMG FOINE! OMG the muscles on his back were showing through his sweater and his head looked like a chocolate Milk Dud! lawd, I think this is cut buddy weather…lol

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 1:45 PM | Link to this

900 “Yeah and fry chicken wings every night for dinner w/out changin the grease and eat them w/ straight hot sauce while watchin Malcom X on DVD just the first half!”

ROFL!!!

By Foots

December 20, 2007 1:47 PM | Link to this

Darrell Maybe so, but timeline-wise, my mom says I was like that when I came out the womb, so I don’t relate that aspect of my present personality to the disagreements we had when I was young and the fact that she didn’t share much about the mistakes she made while growing up.

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 1:53 PM | Link to this

Page1908 did you approach? or did you punk out like i did? lol.

By Happy Holidays - from QC

December 20, 2007 1:54 PM | Link to this

What up Bloggers!

Hey Page are you finding your way around the ATL ok?

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

December 20, 2007 1:54 PM | Link to this

Darrell I think I can speak for the blog-ladies ( I hope) you have a wonderful personality (on the blog) ; Your prespectives are always on point. I would say more but this a public blog……..

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 1:57 PM | Link to this

900k lmao, we’re trying to make him mean, not kill him. That Malcolm X movie is dreadful.

Darrell there’s lot of cats that would beat a dude down but let a chick run all over him. My neighbor is a good example. He’s in the military and pretty cool but his wife packs the nuts in that camp. One good correction and she’d be a good housewife. She’s waiting for it. She wants it. He won’t do it. Probably raised by a woman that dominated him.

Footsy I like that “In other words, it’s hard for me to accept less than someone’s best, I don’t like people who don’t try, I don’t like folks who make excuses. In a way, it’s served me well, because I haven’t been a victim to a lot of BS”. Anything less than your best is just not acceptable. Its amazing how many people will accept less.

On a sad note: I just buried those brownies. Somewhere I fugged up real bad. They tasted like rocks. Never one to accept defeat I’ll be making blueberry muffins for dinner.

By Lena

December 20, 2007 1:58 PM | Link to this

Page1908, oh you must be a newbie to ATL, you just described the typical ATL man: gym rat, metrosexual, head turner. Bad news is that he was probably gay, promiscuous, or has 12 children in 3 different metro ATL counties. If you select that type as your cut buddy, I hope your birth control works

By MsUnderstood aka MsU

December 20, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

* Foots and Kym* I understand both of you guys POV. Foots my mom was the same way. Now that I have kids of my own, I explain some of my mistakes, the consequences of them and the importance of them not making the same mistake and depending on the situation it would be followed-up with a spanking…

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

Beautiful yes, actually, I did. It was funny because I was making a face at my food because I ordered something from a place called Nathan’s and when I sat down I made a face because I was looking at my food, then the dude was right there and I was like “what is this round thing”? And he was like “that is a hush puppy” and I was like “puppy”? Oh heck no, and he was busting up and he was like “no, it’s like fried corn bread you never seen that”? And I was like “no way dude”…….

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 2:01 PM | Link to this

Hey QC yeah, well, I get lost almost every day, so I am still learning. I was NOT happy about my car being covered in ice the other morning, though…lol.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 2:02 PM | Link to this

MsU “Darrell I think I can speak for the blog-ladies ( I hope) you have a wonderful personality (on the blog) ; Your prespectives are always on point. I would say more but this a public blog……..”

If it’s okay with you, I’ll let that comment stand as my first Christmas gift of the season. :-) And if you’re so inclined, you can always say more at: darrellbharrison@bellsouth.net :-)

By For Real

December 20, 2007 2:02 PM | Link to this

Foots What that aspect of my personality translated into though, was holding others to a very high standard also. In other words, it’s hard for me to accept less than someone’s best, I don’t like people who don’t try, I don’t like folks who make excuses.

For Real now cosigning Foots post. Say somethin!

Truth You killing me bruh…. you read like this….. cut him at the tendon and then take a pipe with a hole at the end of it and bash his m/f head open to the white meat.

Ok now come over here and try this Quiche I made. I put a different spice in it. Tell what you think. Ah m/k put a coaster under fuggin cup before push your eyeball way to back of your head so you can see what you getting into.

But I do agree with you on Darrell. He seems to be trying to understand something that women don’t understand themselves. I think it has something to do with his marriage and he can’t quite figure out the why.

By Happy Holidays - from QC

December 20, 2007 2:05 PM | Link to this

I would love to see my brother Darrell in a pair of Tims & wearing a wife beater LMAO

Now that would be a Kodak moment

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 2:06 PM | Link to this

Page1908 that’s my gurl! i wanna be like u when i grow up. lmao.

By SeanJohnson3000

December 20, 2007 2:07 PM | Link to this

@ Truth..there’s lot of cats that would beat a dude down but let a chick run all over him i gotta homeboy like that..when we hang i dont even go to the door to get him..i just call him on the cell and tell i am outside..

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 2:08 PM | Link to this

Truth “Darrell there’s lot of cats that would beat a dude down but let a chick run all over him. My neighbor is a good example. He’s in the military and pretty cool but his wife packs the nuts in that camp. One good correction and she’d be a good housewife. She’s waiting for it. She wants it. He won’t do it. Probably raised by a woman that dominated him.”

I couldn’t help laughing, but you raise a good point, too, though. Dude’s mom was either domineering by nature or was, by default, forced to “pack the nuts” in the family because his father was either passive or not there enough or at all. In fact, his being in the military might just be an attempt to mask the fact that he’s intimidated by his wife (and, perhaps, women in general.)

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 2:08 PM | Link to this

Truth - you gave me THE laugh of the day man. But Dreadful??? I have to admit X is my #1 movie of all time. It’s always interesting to see how many people don’t like it… oh well.

Did you know that the studio only gave Spike $20mil to make that movie?

Just about every movie Will Smith makes is well over 100mil+

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 2:12 PM | Link to this

Lena- yes, I am aware, but thanks:)

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 2:13 PM | Link to this

Foots not true. You pretty much know alot in the first few minutes and more time only proves to confirm or deny what you thought. If we meet tonight and hang out and make plans for tomorrow and you say your busy and we can’t get together the bottom line is I’m not the one. If I was you’d make a way for us to be together. Everything else is an excuse. Alot of people would go for it but its an excuse nonetheless. All that “I’m a busy person” shyt is for 2nd place because the winner doesn’t get that.

I expect 100% from day one or there is no day two. A chick whose playing the field should be left in the field. My .02

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 2:13 PM | Link to this

I have to ask this of my sister, because I know she won’t laugh me the heck outta here. LOL!

QC what’s a “wife beater”?

By FYI

December 20, 2007 2:16 PM | Link to this

Will Smith is white though.

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 2:19 PM | Link to this

LOL Beautiful, I am soooo corny! oh well

LOL @ Darrell asking QC what a wife beater is.

By Happy Holidays - from QC

December 20, 2007 2:19 PM | Link to this

A wife beater is a white tee, that looks like a tank top, you see all the guys wearing them in the summer time

Disclaimer: Please don’t think my brother isn’t up to date on the latest styles because he does’nt know what a “wife beater” is….he’s a very sharp dresser and does’nt always dress like a “banker” lol, he does have a very nice wardrobe…

By FYI

December 20, 2007 2:19 PM | Link to this

WIFE BEATER = WHITE T-SHIRT.

By SexyLeggs

December 20, 2007 2:20 PM | Link to this

Ok, that confirmed it for me! Darrell, are you strictly a suit and tie man? What do you wear for casual clothes. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely do not expect you to be wearing wife beaters, but thought you might know what they are. I’m pretty sure you do, just don’t know them by that name…LOL

By Jill

December 20, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

Why do they call them “wife beater”?

By Dan

December 20, 2007 2:22 PM | Link to this

@Kym

I’m not saying the lunatics were running the asylum at all. Mom Dukie tolerated no disrespect, at all. What she did do was open herself to sharing with her son(s) the dangers of life from her perspective, and for that I thank her.

And being the kid I was and man that I am, becuase I said so, has NEVER flown with me. My greatest question in life is Why? Once I have the answer to that(in any situation), I’m good. Popeye used to get mad at me for asking why, and then he realized that I wanted to understand. Every adult in my life has been like that (thank God) and I’m a better man for it. No adult ever dismissed my questions or told me that I didn’t need to know or anything like that. Knowledge is the greatest gift you can give a person/[child].

@ Foots

All that applies to you too. I know that in raising my kids I will inform them to protect them. I have to. Arming someone, even a child or just a dumbazz, with knowledge is sending them out prepared. And no one, least of all my child, will walk away from me unprepared what life may throw at him/her.

To 1) of you questions, no she doesn’t have to be single, but she does need to appreciate and value our time together as I do, otherwise why be there? (Truth as on point with that post)

And 2), I can’t hold people to the standard I hold myself to, that would be unfair. Not everybody is as well equipped as myself to deal with certain, even everyday, situations. But I feel you regardless.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this

QC Thanks for havin’ my back (your 2:19) LOL!

By For Real

December 20, 2007 2:27 PM | Link to this

What’s a wife beater? Awwwww hellz naw Darrell needs an intervention.

*For Real now going into his basement to get his copies of “Disco Godfather, “Boss igga”, “Dolemite”, “Coffy”, “Sweet Sweetback”, “Superfly’, “The Mack” and “I’m Gonna Get You Sucka”.

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 2:28 PM | Link to this

which dude wants to volunteer and let Darrell hang outwith them? Buddy sounds like you missin’ out on a lot…on the real tho, you may wanna take some of the previous suggestions and step outta the box a little bit…..

find you a Boomquisha (as A Red calls them), and get gully wit it!! Crazy thing is, she’ll let ya!

By melo

December 20, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

has 12 children in 3 different metro ATL counties. If you select that type as your cut buddy, I hope your birth control works Lena, leave Evander Hollyfield alone!

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

@Darrell….bout time you finally get in the game….i hope you get one of these blog women you have been campaigning for

By Dan

December 20, 2007 2:32 PM | Link to this

@Darrell

Thank you for that! I’m almost crying writing this!

What’s a wife beater? Oh Shyt!

A wife beater is the to “pronged” t shirt that people wear. You wear them under shirts, ties, suit, et al.

The story is, when Cops first aired all the people they arrested were wife beaters and wore that shirt ONLY. So everytime the Cops came, dude in a wife beater sitting outside, scratched up and drinkin a brew.

But that was too funny, though!!!!

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 2:33 PM | Link to this

Sexy I think you got it. I probably know what they are, but not by the ‘wife beater’ moniker. Damn! LOL!

I promise you if you were to see me at work and then on the weekend, you would swear I was two different people. I’m shirt/tie during the week, but on the weekends and time off it’s straight up jeans and t-shirts (NO wife beaters though.) LOL!

By Happy Holidays - from QC

December 20, 2007 2:34 PM | Link to this

@SexyL you hit the nail on the head…i’m sure he’s seen them before and just did’nt know what they were called, i’m almost certain my nephew wears them….Darrell does wear casual clothes i.e. jeans, sweats, tee shirts, shorts, sandals (he has nice feet)

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 2:37 PM | Link to this

Q:Why do they call them “wife beater”?

Jill- This has always bugged me too…

Answer: 1947 in Detroit, Michigan — when police arrested a local man (James Hartford, Jr.) for beating his wife to death. Local news stations aired the arrest and elements of the case for months after — constantly showing a picture of Hartford, Jr. when he was arrested — wearing a dirty tank top with baked bean stains on it…and constantly referring to him as “the” wife beater.

From there, everything snowballed. From then on, men wearing dirty tank-topped undershirts were referred to as people who were “wearing wife-beaters” and the lexicon stuck from that point forward.

By Happy Holidays - from QC

December 20, 2007 2:37 PM | Link to this

Darrell you should hang out with For Real & 2cptg i trust them and you’ll be just fine!

Darrell needs an intervention, LMAO @ For Real

By For Real

December 20, 2007 2:37 PM | Link to this

Jill They call them “wife beaters” because on all the cop shows they drive out the trailer park on DV call and the dude that beat the woman would always be the one beating his wife. Hence the name “Wife Beater”

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 2:37 PM | Link to this

For Real *”What’s a wife beater? Awwwww hellz naw Darrell needs an intervention.

For Real now going into his basement to get his copies of “Disco Godfather, “Boss igga”, “Dolemite”, “Coffy”, “Sweet Sweetback”, “Superfly’, “The Mack” and “I’m Gonna Get You Sucka”.”

ROFLLMAO!!!

2CPTG A “Boomquisha”? LOL! Sorry, bruh, but I gotta envoke what I call my “Lil’ Kim rule” meaning, I wouldn’t touch a Boomquisha with YOUR… LOL!

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 2:38 PM | Link to this

@2c…homie i am not buying darrells snow job…his persona has been carefully crafted…..he is not being real…lol….and i know he is banging some of those single chicks he is “teaching”…whats a wife beater….W.T.F…..DUDE you going to get some internet poo see…you can stop with the barney fife/cole routine now….lol…whats a wife beater too much

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 2:41 PM | Link to this

Rell Why I gotta be “campaigning”, man? Hell, I’ve been doing alright for almost 10 years now with no complaints. That’s not to say if a door opens I won’t look into it, but “campaigning”? Not my style, bruh. Trust me on that one.

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 2:41 PM | Link to this

LOL QC @ Darrell wearing sandals. I love sandals…lol

QC it sounds like you should hook Darrell up with one of the blog women. Remember when a bunch of us exchanged pics last year? If you remember what they look like, you will have a good idea.

By Dan

December 20, 2007 2:41 PM | Link to this

@Darrell

Man, I was in banking for a while myself, and now on the other side of it, I figured it’d be the whole stuff shirt thing too. It’s not thankfully, but your skills with numbers have nothing to do with getting out letting your hair down every once in a while.

Do something, man. Drop your kids off to the ‘rents, head to a bar or back to the house, find a female, and just get twisted.

In ‘08, you’ve got to know that Banking ain’t a 24 hour a day profession/persona, mayne!

By Demi

December 20, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this

I want to tell my child as much as I feel will help him or her make better decisions than I did growing up, depending on that child’s age and maturity level. We didn’t get that at all.

Foots I agree!!! Parents need to realize all that sugar coating doesn’t work any more…I say give it to them straight. Even though Li’Demi is only 3, he understands why daddy tells him not to do something and the why:

A few days back

I remove the chicken from the oven to add extra sauce. Li’Demi seeing the oven door open, walked up and close the door:

Me: J** (to protect myself from child’s services), why did you close the oven door?

J: *(his words) so you won’t burn you self Alvie.

WTH!!??

I know, I still have a long way to go, LOL

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 2:43 PM | Link to this

QC, who’s the oldest, you or D….again, not trynna be funny, but reading how y’all interact, seems like you’ve had to come to his rescue on more than one occasion……

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 2:45 PM | Link to this

@QC - he has nice feet

W.T.F…are you auctioning off dyck or something

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

Rell You’ll excuse me for wanting to talk in plain english, but that’s how I speak. To me a t-shirt is a freakin’ t-shirt! What the hell would I look like going into a men’s store and asking for some damn “wife beaters”?!

By Staceye

December 20, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

900 you trying to be all up in my satins….you so nasty! LOL Just don;t poke me in the back in the morning! LOL

SexyLeggs I agree…hands down…Imitation of Life is the greatest. My mom cries like a baby everytime she watches it.

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

For Real dude, i’m not trying to come off like that at all. Most that know me would say I’m a peaceful cat. But I’m not nice. If one of us must experience discomfort I want it to be you.

Darrell I am laughing my azz off over here. Please tell me you know what a wife beater is. Please. Every time a cat is on the news for killing his wife he’s wearing a white t shirt with no arms. I know your pulling our leg. Aren’t you?

Huddle up fellas cause Darrell is gonna take nothing less than our collective efforts. This is major. 2c grab some pants he can wear off his azz. For Real bring your movies and that collection of old porno’s. Leave the one with all men. 900 get your stankest broads, not the one your currently seeing. I’ll bring the brownies I just trashed for nourishment. We gotta commit to 3-4 days of indoctrination. I’ve never seen a case like this before.

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 20, 2007 2:48 PM | Link to this

Darrell I have some really nice girlfriends that you should meet….care to send a picture?

By Happy Holidays - from QC

December 20, 2007 2:48 PM | Link to this

Rell it’s not an “act or a snow job” lolololol! he has a “great persona” and can be a lot of fun..

Y’all got me cracking up

By melo

December 20, 2007 2:49 PM | Link to this

the way your mom thinks about your house is the same way i think about my bedroom. Beautiful, ur problem is a sexual/moral one.Darrell’s problem appropriately belongs to this blog coz its about finding the right date, hopefully for commitment. Urs belongs to hookup.com..thats where u could find a lasting fcking solution.

By Demi

December 20, 2007 2:50 PM | Link to this

kinderbabe I will be working this holiday. I plan on doing some traveling next year…so the plan is to play with Li’Demi’s toys, eat, and work…LOL

Page Very few straight dudes shop at Lenox A LONE.

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 2:50 PM | Link to this

I’ve done a lil more research on this topic.

Middle Ages, where knights who lost their armor in battles often had nothing but the chain-mail undergarment to protect them. Now, those chain mail undershirts, if you will, were damn strong — even a sword couldn’t get through. Often, when a knight lost their armor and continued to fight successfully, they were referred to as a waif beater (waif, referring to an abandoned or lost individual). Due to the fact that knights who had been abandoned and continued to fight with only the “shirt off their back” (albeit chain mail), they were given this noble title — an abandoned fighter, beating their way through battle. Since those days are long gone Waif simply turned into Wife for men who beat thier chix like they were on a battle field.

-ok I know this way TMI but I can get a case of OCD on somethings so i looked this up a few years back.

By Happy Holidays - from QC

December 20, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this

Page yep we’ve discussed several of my “blog sistah’s” so we’ll see, i’ll let him handle this on his own and just be there to give him my “sisterly support” if he needs it…2can Darrell is older than me, i really refuse to introduce him to my girlfriends….but i’ve let him meet some of my girls in the past…i just know what type of women he likes & dislikes…but i would still love for him to hang out with you, For Real, Relly Rell..etc

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 2:52 PM | Link to this

you can stop with the barney fife/cole routine

y stop?, it’s workin’ … … . .

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 2:53 PM | Link to this

“2CPTG A “Boomquisha”? LOL! Sorry, bruh, but I gotta envoke what I call my “Lil’ Kim rule” meaning, I wouldn’t touch a Boomquisha with YOUR… LOL!”

ummmm, you laughin’ but that may be just what the Dr. ordered!! while you sittin around waitn on one of them white collar chics so y’all can converse and have your planned excursions and whatnot, Boomquisha will come in and be like, niqqa, take that tight azz shirt off, hit this spliff, take a shot of this Henn-dog, and beat this cat up”!!!! You ain’t gotta wife her up, but you won’t forget her either!

By I am somebody

December 20, 2007 2:53 PM | Link to this

I’m always lurking but this time I have to come out and say that there is no way Darrell don’t know what a wife beater is…..That name alone is well known throughout the neighborhood. I’m with Rell on this one…you had me going there Darrellfor a while with all your smarts and intellectual stimulating posts but naw man there’s no way you’re that naive, even bankers are hip to the name game.

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 2:54 PM | Link to this

@darrell blanka….because you are….you dont have to be that way with me..and i am not hating on your approach….iamjustsayin…er day you seduce some of them with your writing….why not stick your best foot forward and go on a MUTHERPHUKIN DATE!!!!!…with one of these fine blog sisters…..feel me

By QueDogTeaching

December 20, 2007 2:55 PM | Link to this

What up Blog Said while speed blogging, and wondering if Page needs a personal umbrella carrier.

@Peach You say that you knew a guy that was willing to get married, and have kids, but you were not ready. Then there was a guy who had some Momma’s baby, daddy’s maybe drama. The question is do you now look back and wonder if you should have given the other guy a chance? Not saying that I know all of the circumstances of either of the situations, I am just asking a question.

To the blog After reading what SJ wrote about all the things that we wait on in a relationship, why can’t or shouldn’t we wait on someone we are truly interested in. Am I talking about being stupid? No. I am just saying that one thing about love that I have learned is that it is not about receiving. So you may have to sacrifice yourself.

On-Topic I have never waited on someone. Not to say that I never will. But it has to be circumstance that I and only I can deal with. I have dated a few divorced women, a couple of them fresh out of a marriage. And the truth is, that you are the rebound person. Rebound sex is the bomb. They take out all frustrations and try to prove their worth on you.

By Happy Holidays - from QC

December 20, 2007 2:57 PM | Link to this

TRUTH I am in tears…no Rell i’m not auctioning off nothing…my brother does have “nice feet” what female wanna deal with a man with some jacked up azz peanut butter toe jammed feet with corns on each toes

By Staceye

December 20, 2007 2:58 PM | Link to this

Foots some parents believe in sugar coating the world to their kids..then wonder why the kid grows up stupid to ways of the world. I know someone is dumb as a doorknob when it comes to common sense and she always say,”I was sheltered growing up”! Now she is doing the same crap to her kid…great here comes dummy jr. I don’t believe in making them think the world is all sugar plums and candy fairies! I would not want my child to have some idiot teaching them the wrong way. Now you have to talk to kids about sex as early as 5 because of sick pervs out there doing stuff to babies. Trust me….my little cousin was told about her no-no spots at 3 just in case someone tried to touch her…she knew not to let them or to tell an adult.

By abc

December 20, 2007 2:59 PM | Link to this

A wife beater is what Stanley was wearing in ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’. Man, I thought I was out of touch with pop culture, that goes back over 50 years.

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 3:01 PM | Link to this

melo u love startin’ shyt w/me huh? you know my stuff is on lock right now and i don’t do booty calls. now go to time-out! and i better not hear another word! what did i say?

lmao

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 3:02 PM | Link to this

Truth - I’m really over you telling dudes that the “nice guy” thing doesn’t fly. You know there are too many different types of women for that to be true. And there are PLENTY that want nothing more to be with a genuine nice guy.

Nice guys do not automatically = doormats.

By Demi

December 20, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

SexyLeggs last year was a waiting to exhale moment…This year forth, it’s all about How Ms.K^^^N, got her groove back, LOL

Acting all jealous’n’shyt QC I have some nice strong, type on the computer all day hands…KB, what time do you want me to come by on Saturday…I want you to brag about my hands…whenever the blog reopens LOL

By Tazzee

December 20, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

back from a departmental luncheon.

Darrell yeah, I know you aren’t the runnin the streets type. And out of the movies on your list, I’d have to pick ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ - but my favorite is ‘A Christmas Story’

What do the lonely do…at Christmas - y’all got me thinking of that dern song. I have a king size bed too and never rolled over and wished I had a man to occupy that space. I guess my desires have to have a target, meaning there have been times when I was dating someone and wished he was on the other side of the bed…but when I don’t have a target, I don’t even think about it.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 3:03 PM | Link to this

Look, ya’ll…

I know what the “white beater” t-shirts LOOK LIKE, I’m just used to CALLING them **”A-shirts” (‘A’ for athletic t-shirts.) I just called them something other than “wife beaters”, that’s all.

DAYUM! DAYUM! DAYUM!

By BLAT

December 20, 2007 3:05 PM | Link to this

Darrell!!! Say this ten times fast….

I AM SOFA KING WE TODD DID.

fellas… this is a potentially terminal case, lol

By Happy Holidays - from QC

December 20, 2007 3:05 PM | Link to this

^5 Rell, 2cptg

By Demi

December 20, 2007 3:06 PM | Link to this

what female wanna deal with a man with some jacked up azz peanut butter toe jammed feet with corns on each toes

QC breath sista breath you sounded like a woman coming out of a nightmare…For Real, skit please

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 3:08 PM | Link to this

LadyDark What’s your e-mail address?

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 20, 2007 3:08 PM | Link to this

Maybe yall should reactivate that yahoo group and then folks can join up post pics..audition for rosters, hookup for trapeze, or make videos for nude africa. Cause right now that thristy look is showing and apparently Darrell is the fountain.

By Tazzee

December 20, 2007 3:09 PM | Link to this

Darrell man, I was about to take up for you but the fact that abc knows what a wife beater is and you didn’t….well, I have to co-sign 2can’s Boomquisha advice, LOL. Wasn’t there a movie about Darrell…with Halle Berry, Tommy Davidson, and Denise’s husband from the Cosby Show?

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 3:11 PM | Link to this

Staceye -Im a gentleMan baygirl, trust I use discipline baby wether you do or not. I only get nasty when its time. I dont see why you cant share your bed wit someone… aint you a Mike Jackson fan?

Truth -why i gotta have stanky broads man! you on some shyt… hold up I got 2 commin thru maybe a 3rd I’ll hit u back.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 3:12 PM | Link to this

Dag, I didn’t mean to say “white beater” earlier. Man, is going downhill fast. LOL!

By Happy Holidays - from QC

December 20, 2007 3:12 PM | Link to this

Hey Demi

Blat “terminal case…ah NO”

Darrell, maybe we can “host” a get together so they can meet you….so you this should happen before or after your INTERVENTION? LOL?

By Tazzee

December 20, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

That reminds me…my nephew calls them white beater and I let him continue to do that. Well….by now my sister prolly corrected him, but I thought it was so cute when he referred to it as white beater because I didn’t want to discuss the whole ‘wife beater’ issue.

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 3:13 PM | Link to this

Wasn’t there a movie about Darrell…with Halle Berry, Tommy Davidson, and Denise’s husband from the Cosby Show?

Yo she called you…

WAYMAN TINSDALLE III- LOL!!!!

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

QDT LOL, actually I do. You know I don’t have an umbrella! LOL

By For Real

December 20, 2007 3:15 PM | Link to this

AWWWWWW HELLZ NAWWWWW

QC Stop you are not helping. I just had a visual of Darrell in 6-piece suit with some flip-flops on and you talking about see you thought I was lying. While Darrel sports a big Kool Aid Smile.

Stop QC before you tell us that he shaves his entire body.

Truth I think we need to go “Drop Squad” on ole boy. He can only eat sardines, hot mustard and hot sauce for 2 weeks and he must pee and ish outside. Oh and if he ishing then he must find his own tissue paper.

By ImAPeach404

December 20, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

900 are you a Scorpio? (Asked in reference to you post at 12:04)

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 3:16 PM | Link to this

Amazon don’t take it personal. Life isn’t set up for nice guys. Even the popes gotta put “foot to azz” sometime. A terminally nice cat is a terminally unhappy cat. If you want to prove my point QC can hook you up. LOL

Blat you got me rollin over here.

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 3:17 PM | Link to this

Truth said: If we meet tonight and hang out and make plans for tomorrow and you say your busy and we can’t get together the bottom line is I’m not the one. If I was you’d make a way for us to be together.

It’s really too bad you feel this way. Why would you expect someone to break existing plans JUST because they met you? You hang out on Friday and then want to see them on Saturday - less than 24 hours notice. And now she’s gonna have to go back on her word to someone else just because Truth requested her presence? Come on now.

I would be wary of anyone who expected me to rearrange my life just because we had a good time. It goes down to how you treat people. If I have existing plans, I will honor them - that’s what honorable people do. The problem would be if she keeps making dates after y’all are starting to establish something.

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this

QC, though I appreciate your high regards for me, TRUST, you do not want your brother hanging with me!!! See, cause I leave work, at work! I’m tombout soon as I leave the building, I’m wearin’ another hat……and nothing against ya folks, but he doesn’t seem versatile, at all….

By Demi

December 20, 2007 3:18 PM | Link to this

Nice guys do not automatically = doormats

A.Red you are right…they are 99.95% of the time LOL

By For Real

December 20, 2007 3:19 PM | Link to this

QC: Oh baby, Oh baby that’s the way you work momma. OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! SCREAM! WTF are you doing?

Dude: Only the toes know, Only the toes know…

By QueDogTeaching

December 20, 2007 3:20 PM | Link to this

The blog usually gives me a laugh out loud moment everyday. Today it is Preacher / Truth. In one paragraph he tells Darrell to get some Timbs, and 3 wife beaters and don’t wash them to up his anger game. Then the very next paragraph he says hey I’m cooking brownies. Not saying anything at all is wrong with that. It is just both of those are two very opposite extremes.

I don’t think a woman wants a totally nice, pushover guy, but I do think she wants a nice, respectful caring man that won’t take no ish off of her. That she can get away with some things but in the back of her mind she knows there is a limit.

Beautiful Dayum girl. The holiday season got you feeling it. That is very attractive.

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

December 20, 2007 3:20 PM | Link to this

Laughing as I am typing…is there actually a discussion going on as to the origin of wife beaters??? LMAO!!!!! WHAT?!?!? The blog has officially covered it all. Just a side note though, the term wife beater actually applies to the domestic violence movies, i.e Burning Bed, the hubby was wearing a wife beater the entire movie.

By Dan

December 20, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

That did it!

I’m gone

She called you….(pause for dramatic affect

WAYMAN TINSDALE III

I can’t breathe……

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 20, 2007 3:24 PM | Link to this

Darrell Please send to exoticrose2@yahoo.com

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

QC / Page “…but he doesn’t seem versatile, at all”

2CPTG don’t me very well, do he? (to quote my man Bugs Bunny)

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

Peach404 - Taurus, yeah thats right.

Blat -I AM SOFA KING WE TODD DID.

No idea what this means but its damn funny.

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 3:25 PM | Link to this

Truth - I don’t need you to prove my point. I’m a female who dates nice guys who aren’t doormats. And my dance card is full. :-)

By Page1908

December 20, 2007 3:26 PM | Link to this

LOL @ 2

LOL at I don’t remember, but I remember someone saying that dudes should not wear sandals. LOL @ corns on each toe. I don’t think dudes get corns, QC! I have never seen a dude with corns! ctfu

By Happy Holidays - from QC

December 20, 2007 3:27 PM | Link to this

4 Real 6 pc suit w/flip flops… it’s not like that (never has, never will be)…i’m done with it, lol..Truth I’m not hooking him up, he’ll be aight….2can he leaves work at work…maybe he’ll have the chance to meet you one day….ok, this was fun..but the “QC & Darrell comedy show is over for the day…i’m sure i’ll be laughing about this for the rest of the day..

have a great evening bloggers :-)

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 3:27 PM | Link to this

Blat- scratch that got it! LOL

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 3:28 PM | Link to this

dont believe amazon red darrell..she will nto fluck a nice guy…lol…

ar, you are funny somedays..today you have me cracking up….

darrell why not ask beautiful out..she is game for some holiday love…feel me…

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 3:30 PM | Link to this

Tazz I thought the same thing. ABC is about as lame as they come, I THOUGHT.

900 if you got 3 comin thru and need an assist I’m here for ya man. Really, i’m here for ya.

Darrell I gotta help you because technically there called A shirts but still. Sorry, I can’t help. Nevermind

Who the flug cares that Britney Spears sister is pregnant at 16. I don’t give a flug about Britney or her sister.

Ladies, I have a king sized bed with 2 sided pillow top mattress, feather bed on that and 600 thread count sheets. We can all meet up in my bedroom and enjoy the feeling. Its gonna feel so good on your soft, nude body.

By ImAPeach404

December 20, 2007 3:31 PM | Link to this

QueDog I can’t honestly say he wanted to marry me and have kids, it was a topic of conversation very early on. I’d say within the first 2 days. I told him I wasn’t interested in having any more children and I wanted to spend the rest of my life traveling and doing mission/volunteer work. There was still a “chance” given - but there was always that lingering on my mind.

Foots and Kym I have “issues” about being too hard on my son. I just hate the thought of him growing up to be sorry! I cannot stand a sorry or lazy man. He asked me the other day why I make a big deal out of everything. It pi$$ed me off that he said that but now that I know he feels that way, it really does make me feel bad. But, I’m not going to stop! Hearing from both of you makes me feel a little better. Kym, keep doing your thing… unfortunately, single mothers have to be hard on their kids. Especially the boys

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

December 20, 2007 3:32 PM | Link to this

My post should have said ‘also applies to the domestic violence movies instead of actually’. Please excuse the typo, I was laughing way too hard!

Dan I almost spit water all over my computer for the Wayman Tinsdale III post too!! Hilarity!!!

Hey QDT

By Demi

December 20, 2007 3:34 PM | Link to this

Dayum…folks around here sure have some weirded yahoo dot com name

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 3:36 PM | Link to this

Rell - You don’t have to believe it for it to be true. And I certainly have no reason to lie. I certainly would not date a thug. Ugh.

Glad you’re getting your rocks off tho. Must not take much. ;-)

By ImAPeach404

December 20, 2007 3:36 PM | Link to this

900 A Taurus? You sure? Lol, I would have pegged you for a Scorp by that post!

By For Real

December 20, 2007 3:37 PM | Link to this

QC “QC & Darrell comedy show is over for the day… Hold on your brother just quoted Bug Bunny now you know I can’t leave that sitting on table next to Truth Burnt up brownies…

By Tazzee

December 20, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

“I don’t think a woman wants a totally nice, pushover guy, but I do think she wants a nice, respectful caring man that won’t take no ish off of her. That she can get away with some things but in the back of her mind she knows there is a limit.”

That sums it up for me QDT.

By Foots

December 20, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

I explain some of my mistakes, the consequences of them and the importance of them not making the same mistake and depending on the situation it would be followed-up with a spanking…

MsU Now what I didn’t like was when my mom did the whole “sit me down and talk through what I did thing”. I’d feel like crap for letting her down, and that was bad enough. Then she’d say in her continued calm voice “Do you understand? Good. Okay, now I’m going to have to beat you.” WTF??

Truth Okay, everybody’s entitled to what they want. In my situation, I have a life and I expect the man I’m with to have one too. If he’s not busy sometimes, I have to wonder about him. That’s just me though. But it’s easy to tell the difference between coming into someone’s full life, finding where you fit and somebody blowing you off because they are not interested. As long as I feel that I’m not being blown off, it’s fine if he can’t see me at the drop of a dime.

melo leave Evander Hollyfield alone!

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!

Staceye here comes dummy jr.

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 3:39 PM | Link to this

Lady Dark when you get it, please share with yo gurl the experience. :)

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 3:40 PM | Link to this

Truth “Darrell I gotta help you because technically there called A shirts but still. Sorry, I can’t help. Nevermind.”

Hey, man, I just appreciate that you at least acknowledged that they’re “technically” called ‘a-shirts’. At least that proves I knew what t-shirts ya’ll were actually talking about. I just wasn’t used to calling them “wife beaters” that’s all. :-)

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 20, 2007 3:42 PM | Link to this

Little know fact about Joseph C. Phillips(Wayman Tinsdale in the movie) he is a conservative and I think I remember seeing him do a article on Black America.com. Kind of a point counterpoint thing.

By Dan

December 20, 2007 3:43 PM | Link to this

While I would never presume to tell anyone about raising their children…

As the son of a single mother, she taught me responsibility in soooo many ways. Key among them is that she never gave me money in public. She would give me money before we left the house and if I spent it, tough. Now unc or cousing or somebody would ante up, but not Mom Dukes. That taught me how to value not only money, but how I spend it.

Point is, I was treated as a responsible person long before I had the capacity to understand what responsibility was. But when the time came, I can say I was well prepared.

WAYMAN TINSDALE III Aww shyt!!!!!!!!!!

AND

Only the toes know…

Y’all gone get me fired…

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 3:44 PM | Link to this

Dan, Tazz, Mo

Darrell walks into the club VIP and approaches a table full of black men.

Darrell- What is up Home Dudes?

The table full of black men look back @ Darrell with eyes of intense dread.

Truth -then grabs Darrell by the collar and gets him the hell outta there!

By chink

December 20, 2007 3:45 PM | Link to this

Darrel(backthem)…

I think you sound like a real catch an intelligent brother with some substance ….do me a favor don’t change

By Beautiful

December 20, 2007 3:45 PM | Link to this

TruthBaby i thought you didn’t do 3somes or 10somes???

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 3:48 PM | Link to this

Ared you read the passage wrong. I wrote if we were out and made plans for tomorrow. You and I both know there’s nothing happening in our lives that can’t be moved around a little. Once again, this the difference between men and women. A woman will write a pass for a dude that disses her while a dude will pass on a chick that disses him.

QDT I’m showing my versatility today. I thought that was a perfect illustration of the dichotomy that is The Truth. Whats up, a bruh can’t make brownies? LOL

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 3:49 PM | Link to this

Peach404 -Yes, why do you ask? Please let me know what you thought of the post.

By Foots

December 20, 2007 3:51 PM | Link to this

QDT Sums it up for me too.

For Real Hold on your brother just quoted Bug Bunny now you know I can’t leave that sitting on table next to Truth Burnt up brownies…

Yeah, now that one brought me into the fray. It would have been better to quote Bruce Banner “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry” than Bugs Bunny.

Amazon I would be wary of anyone who expected me to rearrange my life just because we had a good time. It goes down to how you treat people. If I have existing plans, I will honor them - that’s what honorable people do. The problem would be if she keeps making dates after y’all are starting to establish something.

Bingo!!

Blog Guys Do you have the “she needs to drop everything to be with me” mentality?

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 3:52 PM | Link to this

900

Your 3:44 reminds me of that scene from the movie Animal House when those black men walk up to their table at the club and one of ‘em says, “Do you mine if we dance wif yo’ dates?”

LOL!

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

December 20, 2007 3:53 PM | Link to this

900K What is up Home Dudes? LMBAO!!! I cant take much more today!!! :-)

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this

Truth - How did I read it wrong. I read that you were out and made plans for tomorrow. You then stated that if she told you she already had plans, you’d drop her…

WHY? Why should she break plans with someone else just because you asked her out on a night she was busy?

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 20, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

Chink THANK YOU!!!! I really appreciate that. Serioulsy. :-D

All I’m out, so ya’ll be good. I gotta run by Dillard’s to buy some wife beaters.

:-)

By Demi

December 20, 2007 3:56 PM | Link to this

900k I was going to claim you as an Aries for a minute..Horned animal: their way or no way.

404 you are doing right…I dislike women who spoils their sons…I am like, do you want a punk or a man.

By abc

December 20, 2007 3:58 PM | Link to this

ME lame? With all the half-witted drivel you spout in here on a daily basis? Give us all a break, ya lyin bastid, ‘Truth’ my foot, if sh1t floats you’re a dayum ark. Puh-leeze. What a joke.

By Foots

December 20, 2007 4:00 PM | Link to this

Truth you read the passage wrong. I wrote if we were out and made plans for tomorrow.

I read it wrong too. You meant that if on Friday, we make plans for Saturday, and then Saturday comes up and I say I’m busy, then you’re ghost. That still doesn’t leave room for life to happen. Sometimes, it may not be about you…

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 4:01 PM | Link to this

Beautiful I was just joking with 900. Everyones so tense in here. Lighten up folks. Does he really have 3 chicks coming over? LOL BTW, I said I don’t do orgies or gangbangs. I do like 3 somes. LOL

Foots what i’m saying is if every time we talk someone calls and you gotta go, someone shows up “unexpectedly” and you gotta go, everytime we plan something you change plans at the last minute. I’m not the guy your looking for. If you accept that treatment in the beginning don’t expect it to change. Also, a woman thats ready to make a serious move probably isnt out dating like that.

By Tazzee

December 20, 2007 4:02 PM | Link to this

Darrell in all seriousness, you know you’re cool with me just the way you are.

By Dan

December 20, 2007 4:04 PM | Link to this

@Foots

Naw, don’t drop everything for me, never, not ever.

But if you dating just to be dating and you got say…a guy on Tues. that you ain’t really feeling, and a guy on Thursday that you might like…if I ask you out Thurs. Move Thursday to Tuesday and tell Tuesday you’ll have to reschedule.

That is, if it’s important to you. Plus which, don’t y’all (women) play those games already? Anyway?

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 4:05 PM | Link to this

“All I’m out, so ya’ll be good. I gotta run by Dillard’s to buy some wife beaters.”

from Friday…..“he gon cry when he leave”

By Demi

December 20, 2007 4:06 PM | Link to this

Truth’ my foot, if sh1t floats you’re a dayum ark.

dudes are acting catty again

Demi is now selling wife beaters which reads:

Def Jamz: Corporate Thugz vol.7

For the ladies

By Tazzee

December 20, 2007 4:06 PM | Link to this

Dang abc who cut you off in traffic this morning?

shoulda known we wouldn’t get through the day without someone starting something…

By Kara

December 20, 2007 4:07 PM | Link to this

if sh1t floats you’re a dayum ark

oh my, now that was classic, abc.

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 4:09 PM | Link to this

Ared I wrote if we were out one night and made plans for tomorrow and then she changed em. Take a look at that.

ABC cool down baby. That chick you dropped the loot on for the ring is gonna come back when she realizes you were the only one stupid enough to marry her. Man, seems you turn every woman you meet into a troll. Don’t go jumping on me cause she bounced on you. She thought you was lame as hell too.

By Foots

December 20, 2007 4:15 PM | Link to this

oh, I can’t breathe!! OMG!!! abc went OFF!!!! LOLOLOL!!!!

By Willie Dynamite

December 20, 2007 4:16 PM | Link to this

I am crying over here.

I suggest that whoever turned Binford into a definition and meaning all its own do the same with Darrell.

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 4:16 PM | Link to this

@2C……lmao

@foots..the only thing i want women to drop is that AZZ!!!…lol

By BLAT

December 20, 2007 4:18 PM | Link to this

Ahhh, Foots…

Sweetie, it ain’t about us asking that you drop everything to be with us.

For me personally, if I don’t see you breaking at least some of your little dating rules for me, then I’M NOT THE ONE for you. Cuz somewhere out there there is that dude that once you meet him you’ll so fugged up crazy for his azz that you’ll drop “everything” without him even asking.

In more diplomatic terms, it’s all about priorities vs options(yes, still pimpin for GA. Man). See, when a man meets a woman he’s truly impressed with and wants to spend time with, he’ll immediately look for ways to buy some time here and there to spend with her. And if he shows that effort to make her important, which most women say they want to see, but yet doesn’t see the same effort on her part, then logically he’ll conclude that she ain’t feelin him like he feelin herrr. In which case a smart man walks away sooner than later cuz he ain’t trying to bark up the wrong tree.

AmazonRed, exactaDAMmundo, baby! Cuz like I just said, somewhere there’s a dude that you’d have no problem doing that for.

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 4:19 PM | Link to this

from Friday…..“he gon cry when he leave” HAAA!!!!LOL- 2CP - Okay you got the title dog. It did not thing it could’ve gotten any better!

404 No comeback?? I did really want to know a few tings from you but oh well.

That chick you dropped the loot on for the ring is gonna come back when she realizes you were the only one stupid enough to marry her… Don’t go jumping on me cause she bounced on you. She thought you was lame as hell too.

I have no idea how this started dont feel like goin back to read. But Truth has ended it right here.

By melo

December 20, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

its 4.16 already and i aint post a thing on .Dis bytch is making me work too hard for my mony.But i luv working with her, she dresses so fly to kill and always makes me eager to go hme and bang wify.And she smart. Now u knw why im always in here, acting hrny.

By For Real

December 20, 2007 4:20 PM | Link to this

Truth now rounding 3rd base as he has just knocked another out the park.

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 20, 2007 4:23 PM | Link to this

2C That line is he gon cry when he get in the car.

By 2CPTG©

December 20, 2007 4:24 PM | Link to this

abc…..on the weeks that I have Beautiful’s Wii, can I come over and hook it up to the home theatre?

lighten up, kinfolks……

and y’all lurkers, stop that shyt! Y’all don’t even participate until ya see some bullshyt….if ya wanna join in the melee, then join the family!

By abc

December 20, 2007 4:25 PM | Link to this

I have no idea what you’re talking about Fake, and you obviously don’t know either. Beyond mindless, insulting falsehoods, what is there to your discourse? Meaningless, nothing. Who believes the crap you talk about all day, every day? Have you so little business to mind that you can waste the day doing this? Evidently. Those who buy into your nonsense, all I have to say is, water seeks its own lowest level.

By Tazzee

December 20, 2007 4:27 PM | Link to this

boys…play nice

Have a great evening folks!

By Staceye

December 20, 2007 4:32 PM | Link to this

900 I am a Michael fan indeed..but I hate sharing! I’m an only child and I used to being alone. I perfect day is cold and rainy and I am home looking at all the Harry Potters, and the Lord of the rings 1-3…I am a sci-fi geek.

Hey….leave Darrell and Binford alone..they are nice guys!

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 4:33 PM | Link to this

Truth - Give me a time stamp on that post. I was responding to this: If we meet tonight and hang out and make plans for tomorrow and you say your busy and we can’t get together the bottom line is I’m not the one. If I was you’d make a way for us to be together. Everything else is an excuse.

I’m confused as to how I read this wrong…

By genius

December 20, 2007 4:35 PM | Link to this

melo, really, your over sharing is so very annoying. Nobody wants to hear about your libido everyday. Learn some boundaries.

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 4:37 PM | Link to this

Blat - I’m with Foots. If I already have plans, I’m not going to break them. This actually happened to me a few weeks ago. I went out with one guy and had plans with another. I really wanted to see the original guy, but I wasn’t going to break plans with the other. I told him the truth and he understood. The difference is, I made sure to let him know I was feeling him. He knows that I won’t be making active plans with anyone else once my obligations are done!

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

ABC your on this mf everyday too, as are all the regulars. What the flug are you talking about? Btw, you bible thumping, uptight, righteous little bytch, your the one coming on telling everyone how their so wrong for being human. Apparently your the only who could measure up to your high standards cause the chick thought you was the best thing out there, till she had to spend time with your uptight azz.

By I use to be Somebody(*Rell*)

December 20, 2007 4:38 PM | Link to this

man somebody got mr tight jeans a lil tight today….and he is telling someone off with some smarts….lol..too funny…

By Foots

December 20, 2007 4:39 PM | Link to this

Blat I’d never drop everything for a person I am dating. It’s scary when a woman or a man has nothing in his/her life except for their mate. Can I rearrange my schedule? Of COURSE!! My schedule right now operates on taking care of and providing for myself because I am not in a relationship. If I bring another person into my life, IT HAS TO CHANGE. That’s common sense. I was piggy backing off Truth’s comment. It seemed like he wanted 100% attention from DAY 1, like she wasn’t allowed to have anything else going on but him.

Please understand that when a woman says she is busy, it may not be another dude. It may be a meeting, church, mentoring sessions, an appt with a trainer, etc. Everything in a woman’s life does not revolve around men.

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 4:42 PM | Link to this

Ared read foots 400 post. That will clear it up.

By For Real

December 20, 2007 4:42 PM | Link to this

Foots 7 A-Red Aren’t the two of you always saying that man will make time if he wants to. Well Truth is saying the samething. A woman will make time if she wants to.

abc you’re almost there swing a little lower and call him a Binford azz Binford

By Honey Dew

December 20, 2007 4:43 PM | Link to this

That’s right 2CPTG @ 4:24 post

I really enjoyed lurking today; Darrell you are aight with ME!

Where can i find a WII i’d love to have one for myself.

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 4:45 PM | Link to this

Right on Foots! We are saying the same thing. Besides, I thought men liked women with a life outside of them. I thought men hated being the sole source of her happiness. ;-)

By 900K aka Mr KnowitALL

December 20, 2007 4:49 PM | Link to this

Staceye- Darrell is cool w/ me I was jus messin. You know its cold and rainy today… and I am a BIG Sci-Fi dude myself. Come to think of it I’ve never watched ANY of the Harry Potter movies…Hmmmm! You cookin huh? I dont eat pork either, what a cowiki-dink.

By melo

December 20, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this

genius,leave me alone.I am just talking about what God gave me,libido * Maybe that will tickle ur sleepy crotch for ur woman.Are u as lame as cba(thats a puzzle..figure it)

By Mo (now known as Moeisha)

December 20, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this

OMG!! Ya’ll have me over here bout to get fired from laughing so hard!!

Truth & abc come on ya’ll we almost made it through the day….

I hate that I have missed so much but it had been entertaining in here today!!

By AmazonRed

December 20, 2007 4:50 PM | Link to this

Thanks Truth. The 4:01 does clear it up. That’s not what was said in the beginning tho. Got it now and I agree with you if it ends up like the 4:01.

For Real - I do say a guy will make time. However, it doesn’t mean time JUST BECAUSE I am available and I am ready to hang. If he already has existing plans, no problem with him honoring. The problem is when he can never make anything definite. If he’s busy Saturday when I want to hang, he better have some options available for when he is free. Then eventually we get to the point where I’m one of the first folks he schedules. :-)

By SexyLeggs

December 20, 2007 4:54 PM | Link to this

You guys are CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By Foots

December 20, 2007 4:56 PM | Link to this

For Real That is true. But sometimes I’d rather be with a particular man, but I have tutoring that night. Or I promised to take my mom to the movies and I had to turn down a dinner date. Or I’m extremely tired because I’ve been fighting cramps all day. If I tell you that I can’t make previous plans because of a legitimate reason and you bounce, then what does that say about you?

He made it seem at first like if he asks her out the next day and she has plans, then he’s out because he’s not first in her life. It doesn’t work for me like that. I know that people have busy lives and if they are making an effort to make room for me in the beginning, that’s all I can ask and I’d want the same treatment. If dude is studying hard for the LSAT, and so he can’t spend time until Tuesday, that’s fine with me. I don’t think it would be fine with him.

I agree, if we make plans and I CONTINUOUSLY break them, then I’m not interested. I doubt that would go on for long anyway before either somebody gets the hint or we have “the talk” (the one where I say it’s not working out). Who’d stick around for week after week of that? So that’s not really the issue.

By SexyLeggs

December 20, 2007 5:02 PM | Link to this

Good night everyone. Have a safe and restful evening! WHEW!!!

By Demi

December 20, 2007 5:02 PM | Link to this

Where is Wise?

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 20, 2007 5:03 PM | Link to this

Ared thats it. I think I left out then the next day she cancels. My bad. Thanks for clearing thatup Foots.

By BLAT

December 20, 2007 5:04 PM | Link to this

A-Red, sorry ma. Heard that story. Been burned by that story. Don’t believe the hype. You tellin me u got plans wit another dude automatically puts u at the bottom of my priority list until u prove you should move up. Plain n simple. n Foots, you know better.

Look ladies, the bottom line is that, if you’re TRULY feeling a man, you WILL move him toward the top of your priority list, and it’s not a matter of them wanting it, it’s a matter of you wanting to do it.

Just like no one wants to be the sole everything for their SO, everyone is in charge of their own time. So if you can make an hour or two at least once or twice a week to spend time with someone you CLAIM to like that much, then u just too damned busy to be with somebody. Or…… just not feeling that person like u claim.

Punto y se acabo!