AJC.com > Living > Blog > Archives > 2007 > December > 19 > Entry
DEL.ICIO.USIt was a compliment!
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
When your guy friends find out that you write about dating, they start griping, ahem, I mean telling you all about their issues with women on the dating scene. I am charged with the mission to get their gripes out to single women everywhere!
It’s quite fine by me because I always want to get their perspective on dating and what it’s like for them. I try to remember what they tell me so that when a guy approaches me, I can be mindful of how to react.
One reoccurring male gripe is that some women don’t always accept their compliments graciously. Apparently, women often interpret a man’s compliment as game playing or pulling a slick move.
I urged my guy friends to check their tone and delivery. Sometimes, that really is the case. Some men can come off as that creepy, suggestive dude who is clueless about what women like. Further, it helps a lot when your eyes don’t drop to our breasts mid-sentence!
Maybe it all comes down to charm and charisma, though. Is it possible that a guy can deliver his compliment so effectively, that the target won’t realize that they are being tagged as prey?
Ladies, how do you receive compliments from men? Does it depend on the social setting, timing, and/or looks of the man? Do you ever compliment men that you meet or spot on the dating scene? How do they receive it?
Guys, do you find that women have a hard time accepting your compliments? How do you recover from this? Do you make efforts to avoid being stereotyped as a player? Have you actually strayed away from giving compliments to women anymore? How do you like to be complimented?
I think it is important to know the difference between a sincere compliment and a backhanded one. How do you distinguish between the two?
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Comments
By binford
December 19, 2007 8:29 AM | Link to this
Passing out some Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and some munchkins to the blog
I’ve stopped giving compliments all together. The females I know can’t seem to handle them or don’t feel good about themselves - thus thinking I’m making fun of them. Shame about that because I give good compliment.
I do agree that some people (guys and girls alike) exude the creepy vibe when giving a compliment. These folks can’t help the creep that is inside them and should cease and desist their creepy complimentary compliments all together. Either that or find a person that is equally creepy. Then they can hold hands and compliment each other creepily all day in the land of the creeps.
Q: Why don’t women compliment men more?
By Dan
December 19, 2007 8:31 AM | Link to this
Okay so maybe this is weird.
I will tell a woman, when it’s appropriate that she looks really good. Something along the line of: “No come-on, but you’re an attractive woman.”
The reason I do it is 1) becuase it’s true, and 2) maybe hearing a good looking stranger tell you that you are attractive will make your day.
On the flip side, I like to be complimented as well (i.e. nice shirt, shoes, smile, etc), and I take it as the banal statement it was meant to be.
Personally, I will tell a woman that I find her attractive (if I do) and it’s not a come on, not trying to get at you, just said what came to mind.
So ladies, the next time a man proffers a compliment, don’t think “he just want the puddy” (And I mean you Staceye). Sometime an acknowledgement of that kind is simply an acknowledgement of facts.
By BLOW ME
December 19, 2007 8:37 AM | Link to this
Good Morning all,
I take compliments well..I mean I dont let it go to my head. I remain modesty and humble. No doubt I am a cutie and this is expected..but I’m more than just good youthful looks. I want to get complimented on my character then my cute looks.
I usually give compliments when I have had 2-3 shots of patron, 3 bottles of Corona….There is no tellIN what I am bond to say at that point.The most I will do is give eye contact and a soft smile. Riding a guys nuts is out of the question. Not only that it’s desperate. Damn the ratio!
Most of the time I feel as if a woman should lay back in the cut and let a man take the lead. But on the same note I think it’s okay to give compliments to guys…..DECENT ones…But being THIRSTY is never a good look!
By SlimOne
December 19, 2007 8:46 AM | Link to this
Man o man am I struggling today
Binford some people (guys and girls alike) exude the creepy vibe when giving a compliment. I do agree with you here. A nice sweet simple compliment is okay but when you overdue it and keep telling me you love the way my forearm and bicep connects at the elbow, then you are in the CreepyMans RedZone.
Tip’s
When complimenting a female on her eyes, try not to stare at her cleavage as that will give her the impression you’re imaginging her ‘twins’ winking back at cha.
If you call yourself trying to do a quick discreet body scan, try not to stand there with your mouth open, rubbing your hands together & laughing like Dr. Evil like a pedophile in Pee-Wee’s playhouse.
By BLOW ME
December 19, 2007 8:48 AM | Link to this
Binfold
Some women may see it’s a desperate attempt to snag a man. Or they may be shy and feel the man is suppose to make the move.
I feel like it’s a little of both. When I do compliment a man…it’s what I really mean. And the times I have done it (sober) the guys usually blush and give a shy smile.Don’t even get me on when I am buzzing, I will really say what’s on my mind!!! lol! But being over the top and thirsty….is a bit much. I have seen “When complimenting MEN goes to far” it looks so sleazy & a very THIRSTY!
By Beautiful
December 19, 2007 8:49 AM | Link to this
good morning Binford & Dan. smooches.
By 2CPTG©
December 19, 2007 8:50 AM | Link to this
Morning….
3 comments got me cracking up already!!!! Blow Me yous’a fool!!! You gotta be tipsy, eh, to give out compliments….and binford, since you think females run the world, I would naturally think you’d be handing out compliments left and right….
By Mo (now known as Moeisha)
December 19, 2007 8:50 AM | Link to this
Morning All!!!
Dan I do give men compliments! Sometimes they think I am trying to hit on them when I am not, but I find that men are very receptive to compliments. If a man can tell me that I am attractive why cant I do the same?
As far as accepting a compliment, it does depend on the delivery. If you are sizing me up like a Porterhouse Steak, licking your lips and telling me how good I look then I wont be as receptive. A compliment should feel like…a compliment. You shouldnt feel like you’ve been violated! LOL
binford thanks for the donuts and coffee…I’ll take a blueberry donut please
By AmazonRed
December 19, 2007 9:00 AM | Link to this
People really overthink things nowadays. When folks compliment me, I accept it and say thank you. I have no problem complimenting men either. I prefer to compliment guys on the things they do (like picking a great restaurant) then just physical stuff. But if you are fine, you are fine and I’m going to tell you.
If I think you are giving me a backhanded compliement or a vulgar or creepy one, I’ll tell you why I have a problem with what you said. It doesn’t usually change anything, but at least I’ve said my peace.
By SlimOne
December 19, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this
Maybe the question should be how well do MEN handle compliments. Sometimes when a chick compliments a guy, he takes that as Oh yeah, she wants to give me some puddy. Unless I roll up on you and say, I love the way your pants bulge in the front…
By AmazonRed
December 19, 2007 9:06 AM | Link to this
I have a friend who has one of the largest azzes west of the Mississippi. Because of this, she will cuss a man out if he ever tries to compliement her on her backside. She’s gotten so many vulger and inappropriate comments, that she doesn’t feel any of them are sincere (and really can their be a sincere compliment on that part of your anatomy? LOL). Even if a guy is just trying to tell her she has a nice shape, she’ll bite your head off. It’s sad, because it automatically puts her on guard everytime a man approaches her and opens her mouth. She says she’d get a butt reduction in a heartbeat if it were possible.
To some degree, I’m wary of guys who compliment me on my lips…but I try to give guys the benefit of the doubt on that one.
By MsUnderstood aka MsU
December 19, 2007 9:07 AM | Link to this
MO I am cosigning your 8:50 post
By Darrell (of blackthen.com)
December 19, 2007 9:13 AM | Link to this
Morning, everyone.
“Guys, do you find that women have a hard time accepting your compliments?”
My thoughts are that difficulty accepting compliments is not so much gender-related as it is the product of a person’s background and life-experiences. Even a person’s birth order can be a contributing factor.
From the standpoint of one’s background, a person who grew up in an environment not conducive to affirmation and positive reinforcement will not feel comfortable receiving complimentary words because they’ve never received them before. From a birth-order standpoint, if you happen to be a middle-child (like me) it can be more difficult for you to receive compliments, because you’re so used to trying to please everyone and prove that you “measure up” to your younger and older siblings (who normally get all the attention simply by virture of their being first and last born.)
All this is not to say that such behavorior cannot be changed. It definitely can. I’m just putting forth a different perspective than that of simply male/female.
By SeanJohnson3000
December 19, 2007 9:14 AM | Link to this
Sup Blog..Giving females compliments these days is tricky..and depends on how u do it and how they view you..you can go from “he” is sweet to dude is a perv real quick…Because if they aint feeling you..they are offended when u compliment them ..plus being that women are very insecure about features that us men compliment on and like..you have to becareful how u word it…
By MsUnderstood aka MsU
December 19, 2007 9:16 AM | Link to this
Maybe the question should be how well do MEN handle compliments. Sometimes when a chick compliments a guy, he takes that as Oh yeah, she wants to give me some puddy. Unless I roll up on you and say, I love the way your pants bulge in the front…
Slim girl you are a mess!!! I almost spilled my hot tea, laughing at you..
By chrissy
December 19, 2007 9:17 AM | Link to this
blindfold I give compliments to the man I am dating all the time…he loves it. I compliment him on the little things as well as the big…you should see his eyes light up…I do agree that women don’t do a good job complimenting our men. Ladies….men respond to compliments…they will go out of their way for you.
I think its hard for ladies to take compliments from strangers because we don’t know their motives.
By chrissy
December 19, 2007 9:19 AM | Link to this
slimone LoL
By Beautiful
December 19, 2007 9:20 AM | Link to this
i’m too shy to give a guy i don’t know a compliment. to walk up to a handsome man and say whatever is hard for me. but if i’m dating that person, i give compliments all day and night.
i only like to hear compliments if they are true. if i think you’re tryin’ to get some, then i know wassup. i get compliments on my smile and hair alot.
By Rell
December 19, 2007 9:21 AM | Link to this
WAY THE FLUCK OFF TOPIC…..WHITEY HAS GONE TO FAR…LOOK AT THIS ISH
http://www.peta.org/feat/holidaysnowglobe/?celebMichael_Vick
By 24 Single in Atlanta
December 19, 2007 9:22 AM | Link to this
Reading the comments just confirms why I am very selective in dating in Atlanta or really anywhere.
As for compliments I can take them easily if they are sincere it’s the immature compliments that are the worst. Yes, I know what I look like and yes, THEY are real and YES I work out. So whats the point? You got anymore than that guys? Any substance, anymore interest than just the physical? Usually that is what is intended by most guys compliments, they want to get you into bed and think that that is the best way. For some women, desperate and with low self esteem maybe. But if a guy wants something classier then he has to be sincere and genuine.
As a professional woman in a male dominated profession I get asked out often and more often than not I am disappointed within the first hour. They either think way too much of themselves or are so self centered they don’t need anyone else. I have only met a few that are genuine and looking for a relationship rather than a ‘hook up’. I’m not talking marriage here either, just a relationship or friendship. As for the guys who base their self worth and attractiveness on muscles or their flirting and come on lines…to most women, or mature women anyway that all is shallow and immature. But I guess there is always a women who will fall for that so why not try right? This woman is looking for mature, level headed men who are confident in who they are and not cocky. I know they are out there but it is getting very tiresome going through the jerks. I guess I will keep looking though, you just never know what the next date holds.
By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth
December 19, 2007 9:22 AM | Link to this
Good morning blogsville.
This shyt is getting scary. When you want to give a compliment just walk up and do so. As long as your not salivating or the chick doesn’t have her azz on her shoulder all should be fine. If you can’t even give/receive a compliment maybe you have a problem with the opposite sex that a therapist can help you with.
Blow Me it would be worth it to get you drunk and watch you act a fool. Something tells me you your a riot out there.
Binford take your middle finger and insert it between your legs to check for moisture. Dudes don’t bring breakfast, there’s a gang of women to do that.
By binford
December 19, 2007 9:27 AM | Link to this
chrissy
blindfold?
What gives?
By pisces07
December 19, 2007 9:28 AM | Link to this
Morning All… Today’s society dictates a soft walk through the field of compliments. A workplace “no-no”…. With that said, all of the WLB are fine.
By Mr KnowitALL AKA 900K
December 19, 2007 9:30 AM | Link to this
Morning to ALL- The females I know can’t seem to handle them or don’t feel good about themselves - thus thinking I’m making fun of them - I get this one all the time maybe they see me as the sarcastic mean dude, not sure but I tell women nice things about them selves all the time. Then give me the OOH you tryin to be funny face tho…
what up Red- Since I pay great attention to ladies like your friend I know exactly what you mean. The crazy thing is a lot of those types will have on sum’n flattering to show it off. But knowing how they are AND what they go thru wit these cornballs. I take it easy and just say hi…
By M.
December 19, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this
I usually try to compliment on something that is not obvious, but can women sometimes take this the wrong way because they have not heard it before? Something like,
“I really like you demeanor”, or You have a joking personality?
@BlowMe
Its funny you said thirsty. That’s what we call it in Chicago too
By M.
December 19, 2007 9:35 AM | Link to this
I usually try to compliment on something that is not obvious, but can women sometimes take this the wrong way because they have not heard it before? Something like,
“I really like you demeanor”, or You have a joking personality?
@BlowMe
Its funny you said thirsty. That’s what we call it in Chicago too
By TRACY
December 19, 2007 9:36 AM | Link to this
BINFORD DON’T FEED THE TROLL. THAT WASN’T NICE. THANKS FOR BREAKFAST.
By AmazonRed
December 19, 2007 9:38 AM | Link to this
Welcome 24 Single, nice to see some young blood on the blog.
By Lady Dark with Dimples
December 19, 2007 9:42 AM | Link to this
I was out with some female friends of mine one night at Taboo2. I was out to have a blast. This older gentleman came to the table and asked two of my girlfriends a question. Their attitude and responses were sooooo uncalled for…it was like he irritated them to no end. I felt really bad for the guy. When he left I asked them…what exactly did he do wrong? Was it the fact that he thought you guys were attractive enough to want to introduce himself to you? Or the fact that you stood out to him as someone worth approaching? I knew it was the fact that they felt he was too old and that he shouldn’t have even tried to speak to them, but after the conversation they understood that all he was really doing was playing them a compliment!
I say all that to say that I’m very gracious when ANYONE gives me a compliment. I don’t spend much time wondering whether it’s sincere or not or evaluating the source. I’ll just take that it as someone trying to be nice and bring a smile on my face.
I’ll give a guy a compliment if we engage in a conversation. I’ll tell him that he’s handsome if I think so or nice arms….it’s innocent and a nice gesture!
By Mr KnowitALL AKA 900K
December 19, 2007 9:43 AM | Link to this
24- You got anymore than that guys? Any substance, anymore interest than just the physical? - while I fully understand where you are coming from on this I have to ask. What do expect from a man who a) has never seen you b4? b) does not know a thing about you? c) May be a gym rat himself and is GINUNELY attracted to mature professional women who take the time to stay in GREAT shape?
Again I am not knockin you on this but please enlighten me. Do you expect him to say somethin that has never been said before? Or perhaps read your mind?
By BLOW ME
December 19, 2007 9:43 AM | Link to this
Truth What can I say about you that hasn’t been said about afghanistan….You are bombed out and depleted! lol!
From the things you have said truth I don’t know if I want to get drunk around you. Ain’t no tellin what kind of compromising position I’ll end up in. lmao!
By Mr KnowitALL AKA 900K
December 19, 2007 9:46 AM | Link to this
Rell- I have to admit the Cheney joint is funny tho…
By binford
December 19, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this
The Truth
If I was going out to get stuff anyway - what would be the diff? Consideration is a good trait, especially when you are first through the door.
Believe me when I say that though your witty quips on a blog may proport you to be the antiquated model of “masculinity” - that when real life comes in to practical application, there’s plenty of testosterone under this manhood.
I get enough of that tough guy sh$t in the sports I play and pretty much drop them all on their azzes. And I’d be willing to wager you couldn’t even hang in that environment.
By melo
December 19, 2007 9:52 AM | Link to this
She says she’d get a butt reduction in a heartbeat if it were possible. AmazonR does she have a man, coz if she does and he is fine with it, no need to reduce.If the az is big,uweh! and am imgining holding it by the side..ahhh.Can i talk to her?
Now Wise and u ladies, is it vulgar to compliment a woman on her breasts if u think they sit on her chest perfectly?Just asking coz i want to come correct to u ladies.I see some nice cuped breasts all the time and dont know how to compliment. On the subject, ur eyes will always tell if ur compliment is sincere or sincere but coded with i want to jump on u.But there is nothing wrong in complimenting and getting a good feedback and wide smile and then getting ur convo on!!
By M.
December 19, 2007 9:52 AM | Link to this
@24 Single in Atlanta I really agree with your comments regarding the dating scene here in Atlanta. I am also 24 and single and like you said have been disappointed at times. From the lying female pastor (yes Im putting her on blast) to the excessive casual daters, Atlanta has all kind of dating types. On paper, it looks great, the ratio of women to men is quite high, but once you cut through the fat, you really are left with one or two possibilities. I am sick of meeting women that only date football players, that have various hang-ups regarding a potential mate but who do not really have much to offer. Don’t get me wrong, I really like Atlanta, but my advice would be for people to know what they are dealing with and not to stay with someone just to have someone. Don’t be afraid to cut your losses and move on.
By SeanJohnson3000
December 19, 2007 9:56 AM | Link to this
@ DDdimples….dont know if your friends are young…but u see that in a lot of younger females…their attitudes are the worst..sounds like a older cat approach them like a man should in a respectable manor and they didnt even feel he should even speak to them…then ..the SAME type females will let some one they like or is feeling…TOTALLY disrespect them verbally and physically….and even think its cute….women like that turn bitter towards men when they get older..
By BLOW ME
December 19, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this
Binford
Obviously you are a newbie..
But the regulars know The Truth is just pulling your tail.
Not only that he’s tryin to get a blog war started. As he does day after day! lol!
By DasV
December 19, 2007 9:57 AM | Link to this
LOLROTF there is a man-law about bringing b’fast even on the blog that is sooo funny! Pasta T why you starting so early this morning??!
ON TOPIC
darrell you talk too dayum much. save that mess you posted at 913am for your site. on the blog, you couldve left at:ppl period have problems accepting compliments and while i am on that post, imma tell ya as a middle child that is not the reason i have a problem accepting compliments… i have a problem because i am shy… and cause i sometimes wanna give up the puddy but i dont want him to know i want to…. sometimes you just dont know how to respond to ‘i am feelin you’. sometimes the hardest thing is to shoot straight. i like ladys take: to just be gracious and ride wit it.
RELL they attacking their own too, so i aint mad. and dont you be either.
By SexyLeggs
December 19, 2007 10:04 AM | Link to this
Good morning everyone. Binford, I compliment men all the time because I know they too like to be complimented. I will compliment on your shirt, pants, suit, etc. A compliment goes very far in a person’s day. When I am complimented, I say thank you each time. The tone of a compliment is extremely important.
By abc
December 19, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this
Don’t give a compliment to a female coworker that you wouldn’t give a male coworker.
Limit compliments to the obvious: ‘nice dress’, ‘you’re having a good hair day’, ‘you look fabulous today’. If you’re feeling platonic about the compliment, don’t give it, unless it’s to your date or SO.
A compliment given in the appropriate spirit is a lot easier to accept graciously than a veiled attempt to leer or condescend.
By Jill
December 19, 2007 10:09 AM | Link to this
darrell you talk too dayum much umm wtf? Isn’t that like the pot calling the kettle black? DasV, with all your long and pointless, pseudointellectual comments, you have no room to talk. Really.
By AmazonRed
December 19, 2007 10:10 AM | Link to this
melo, my friend is engaged and her man does like her backside but so what? SHE doesn’t like it and that is the person who matters.
As for the breast compliments…I’d say it’s best to just leave that alone. Women know what they are working with in that area…it really doesn’t need complimenting. Compliments on those type of parts usually border on harrassment instead of sincerity.
By Staceye
December 19, 2007 10:11 AM | Link to this
Ared I can identify with your well endowed girl. I go off when guys compliment me. Well…not all. If you say something pertaining to my body then yeah…I will snap on you. You get tired of dudes thinking that you are some T&A tramp who only has just that and no brians or class. I too have toyed with the idea of a booty reduction. I got it down some with diet and excercise. You can’t help if God gave you extra helpings in certain departments…but you should not be made to feel like a piece of meat on a platter because of it. Now if a guy says I look nice, smell good or compliments my outfit….then I will smile and thank him. There is a fine line between complimenting and downright disrespecting. And I think a lot of men do not know how to stay on the complimenting side.
I do compliment guys..but then they think you want them. Why is that? Can’t I just tell you that you smell good or your outfit is nice, etc.? I agree with Slim…unless I come up and say I want you do do me 6 ways from Sunday…that does NOT mean I want to be cocked up in your bed!Some of them may not be my type…but if something is nice on him…I want to let him know that it is noticed.
Binford there is nothign wrogn with bringing breakfast…that men don’t bring breakfast is so old school male sexist piggish! Do you babe! I love doughnuts!
Blow me We say Thirst in NY too girl!
By melo
December 19, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this
Why would a 24 year old girl,girl, have any problem in dating, really?As a man i never faced this problem at that age, let alone at 35.But to come on here at 24 at say, what? Is it that big of an issue/problem at that age to not find a man? The only think i see is being 24 and tired, because u were hyperactive between 16 and 23 and now u all but played out.
By AmazonRed
December 19, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this
Augh. Today is moving slow as molasses. Why am I here? I think a sharp stick in the eye would be less painful then trying to do “work” for the rest of the day.
By BLOW ME
December 19, 2007 10:12 AM | Link to this
Exactly M…so on point!! sooo on point!
On paper, it looks great, the ratio of women to men is quite high, but once you cut through the fat, you really are left with one or two possibilities
Exactly that’s 10 to 1 is a bunch of bs FLUFF!!
Here is my take on the 10 to 1…I am gonna break it down
3 are die hard Lesbos so that leaves you with 7
3 have 3 kids and 4 baby daddies! ( Do the math) so that leaves you with 4.
1 is locked up…down to 3
2 of them are bonafide whorish…passed through to a few of your homies that leaves you 1
And that one …..you can’t see her because you too busy caught up with the other 9 to which you still haven’t figured out you are wasting your time.
So by the time you get to her you are all bitter and played out and think she is nothing more than a big waste of time and something to do. So damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Usually you end up shooting yourself in the foot.
By abc
December 19, 2007 10:14 AM | Link to this
edit: if you’re not feeling platonic about the compliment, don’t give it unless to your date or SO.
By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994
December 19, 2007 10:14 AM | Link to this
Good Morning All,
hmmm I will take your compliment in the spirt it is given. If you say… “You look nice today.” I will say thank you and smile.
If you say something to the effect of… “What up shawty nice rack.” You will get the look that can cut diamonds.
I absolutely beyond any doubt hate for someone to call me shawty or refer to my breast as a rack.
Now as for complimenting guys. I compliment the ones I know. If it is a coworker, friend, SO and they are looking nice I will tell them. But I am not one to compliment random dudes on the street or in the mall.
By Darrell (of blackthen.com)
December 19, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this
@ M and 24 To your respective points, the frustrations of dating in Atlanta aren’t limited to those in their 20s (not that either of you impied that.) Such frustrations are equal-opportunity and run the gamut of age ranges. I’m in my 40s and experience very similar frustrations when it comes to meeting a woman who is, as you put it, “mature” and “level-headed”. I would add to those attributes someone who is modest and humble, meaning someone who is not so confident in themselves that they think they don’t need anyone.
I believe that in the context of a committed relationship, the biggest compliment anyone can give to another person is “I need you”. As singles, we need to be willing to risk being more transparent as opposed to trying to show we don’t need anyone for anything at anytime. After all, we were created to need each other, not the other way around.
By Lady Dark with Dimples
December 19, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this
melo for me personally…NEVER compliment me on my lovely lady curves…too suggestive. Your eyes will tell it all anyway…women can tell when your eyes are roaming. That starts to unnerve me…trying to look a man in his eyes and you can’t because he’ stuck at your boobs!
SJ you may have a point there…
By Got that?
December 19, 2007 10:16 AM | Link to this
If you compliment someone and they take it the wrong way, it’s not your problem, it’s their problem. So, don’t worry about it. You said what you said with the best intentions. How they listened to it indicates what they were thinking regardless of who you are and what you said. Something from the past got activated and they’re responding to that.
By Rell
December 19, 2007 10:17 AM | Link to this
@abc….Don’t give a compliment to a female coworker that you wouldn’t give a male coworker.
^^^true, works in dating as well…
By DasV
December 19, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this
i love it when ppl hide behind fake monikers… jill bay, me and mr.d have an understanding…. but thanks for takin offense for him. and be sure anytime you think i am gettin wordy to call me out, but not wit a mask on, k??
By Cemeeli
December 19, 2007 10:18 AM | Link to this
Merry Morning People
Truth i think binford is trying to relieve me of the brkfst duty today. It’s cool right?…blog ppl had this dicussion *(women should not be expected to do the work ALL the time.)
Slim i’m waiting on numero 3.
DasV I missed my early bird w/ Macy’s this morning…trying it at lunch today. (before 1pm right?) that will be a 3hr today, since i did not go out for lunch yesturdaylol.
By Staceye
December 19, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this
Melo a compliment to a woman that you do NOT know about any body part below her neck can be taken as vulgar….but then let me rephrase that…do not tell a woman she has nice d#ck sucking lips and not expect to get cursed out or kicked in the gnads!!! No breast, butt,legs compliments to be on the safe side! I have had a guy compliment my ankles before…which I thought was weird…until he says some women have “cankles” calves and ankles both the same size! That explains it! Guess I will keep working out so I do not develop a “Twaist” * t!ts and waist all in one*!
abc I agree…to avoid sexual harrassment charges..keep it to a minimum!
By Darrell (of blackthen.com)
December 19, 2007 10:19 AM | Link to this
Das My bad. I seem to have this really bad habit of speaking in complete, coherent sentences all the time.
:-/
By Demi
December 19, 2007 10:21 AM | Link to this
Q: Why don’t women compliment men more?
You must be a “Bair Underwood” class dude in order for them to compliment you..at all. Maybe you are just plain ugly, but believe you’re not (I am just being a prick)
I want to get complimented on my character then my cute looks.
Ish, we’re just trying to break ice/wo being called ‘a male w*******’. So we don’t know much about your character yet…yo crazy a$$ J/K’n
2CPTG© It’s too early to be starting ish bruh…Let me wake up first
Slim said while dry humping air Give me a complement…
AmazonRed aka Ms.Lips…yes you do LOL
Darrell I am proud of you bruh!! It must be hard confining your thoughts into one or two paragraphs at times LOL
On subject (for once)
Being a half way decent looking brother (a many steps away from being called a troll), I get away with murder time to time. Blow, on the real, if I know the woman, I will compliment a woman on her character in a heart beat. For me, I love putting smiles on women faces…about 80% of the time anyway.
Beside, you never know what a person may be going through…I see nothing wrong with saying a few positive words and keep it moving!!!
Just because Lips’n’Eyes’n’Slim’n’Foots (y’all are under 33, so I am straight lumpin y’all for no reasons) gave you the gas face, doesn’t mean a JustMe, Bre, Ms.Legg, or Tazz will
CeeCee, forgot your age boo…Here are two complimentary blog lap dance coupons…Now removing business suit and placing on a jersey’n’sweat pants and eyeing CeeCee hungrily…Ready when you are.
Theme song of the day:
Bump’n’Grind
By M.
December 19, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this
@BLOWME
Thanks again. Oh and dont forget about the crazy males and females…
My friend was dating a guy and she broke it off, the next week, her 37” Plasma tv was stolen from her home.
By BLOW ME
December 19, 2007 10:22 AM | Link to this
STACEYE Yall say:
* Mad THIRSTY* LOL!!
By Cemeeli
December 19, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this
Lol @ BlMe ratio breakdown. I needed that laugh this morning.
By Staceye
December 19, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this
ARED my friend is engaged and her man does like her backside but so what? SHE doesn’t like it and that is the person who matters THANK FOR THAT!! I do not know where people get off saying if her man likes it….its not about him…its about how she feels about it. She has to look at it everyday and deal with the dirty stares and the constant sea of damns* everytime she walks by heterosexual men! Screw whather man thinks! I feel your girl’s pain. For real!
BTW…today is moving slowly…I am ready to be out!
By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth
December 19, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this
Binford don’t come back with the old “I got testosterone flowing like the nile river”. And your chances of putting me on my azz in anything are slim to none and you know where Slim is. BTW, even in this cross gender society we live in we all have lanes that need to be adhered to. Thou thinkest you doeth to many lane changes. I’m starting to think your RandyT. You really have been brainwashed if you think “masculinity” is antiquated. Its in more demand than ever thanks to sensitive/feminine types like you. Finally, thanks for the donuts and can you bring me a cup of coffee. Thanks hun.
Blow I wouldn’t take advantage of you while you was drunk. I’d wait till you fell asleep. LOL
By melo
December 19, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this
Amazon, good that ur friend has a man.Trust me, that is the anatomy that struck him 1st before he realized she had more than what met his eye.He may not say it(i think she knows but wont tell others), but i know from a man’s perspective thas what ususally happens when u get attratced to somebody.Good that she cannot downsize, coz she may lose that man. Uhh, i like big azz!!
By M.
December 19, 2007 10:26 AM | Link to this
@Darrell (of blackthen.com)
Excellent point!
By DasV
December 19, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this
mr.D there you go again wit that 1015 post… but you up’d your game wit that 1019. do yo thang, bruh. i just think some of the rhetoric could be let go of…. jmho.
CEE awww gurl… but no worries. the presale yesterday was until 1pm. today the sale is through 10 tonight. you good. dont take a 3 hour lunch … LOL missing lunch yesterday cant count toward your time anywhoo… but nice try. LOLROTF
By AmazonRed
December 19, 2007 10:27 AM | Link to this
I’m sorry…I don’t really believe it’s that hard to find a quality date here in Atlanta. Doesn’t matter if you are 20 or 50. I just don’t buy it.
By BLOW ME
December 19, 2007 10:28 AM | Link to this
Darrell
*I believe that in the context of a committed relationship, the biggest compliment anyone can give to another person is “I need you”. As singles, we need to be willing to risk being more transparent as opposed to trying to show we don’t need anyone for anything at anytime. After all, we were created to need each other, not the other way around. *
You hit the nail on the head with this one! You are so right. Some of us women have been taught to be independent……(I love that song too!) Which is not a bad thing. It only becomes bad when you feel like you do not need a man or a woman. We are created to be together….so once you become TOO INDEPENDENT…You might one to stay that way because you truly aren’t and can’t have a good relationship. A relationship is a team effort. Being too independent and selfish will DESTORY that.
By Page1908
December 19, 2007 10:29 AM | Link to this
Good Morning. I can certainly understand why some men feel women don’t give them compliments. I guess my approach is that I enjoy getting compliments from others, so I try to keep that in mind when it comes to complimenting men too. It’s good practice to not go too overboard, but then again, sometimes going overboard is what some may really like…who knows. Hey Ju’Miracle!!
LOL @ DasV
By Cemeeli
December 19, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this
DAsV I get to use this one on jill and D…
I know pronounce Darrell and jill zzzzzzz snore zzzzzz. Lol.
WE are already LIVE this morning ladies and gentleman. 3-2-0- Yea-ya!
Enter now: JustMe & ForReal.
By Staceye
December 19, 2007 10:30 AM | Link to this
Demi why you gotta diss the under 33 crew? That’s alright…we are still fly with the similac around our mouths! LOL
Blow me you are absolutely right! LOL
By Staceye
December 19, 2007 10:34 AM | Link to this
Blow me I am one of those independent women and I LOVE IT! LOL
DasV here is your early morning shot of Henny! I’ll drink with ya girl! LOL
By BLOW ME
December 19, 2007 10:34 AM | Link to this
* @ M* Yeah girl How can I forget about them! I am trippin…so he took the 37” inch…broke a$$ Kneegrow! Boy I tell you!
Cemeeli It’s so on point and you know it!! I am tired of men using that to their advantage….They see the QUANITY and not the *QUALITY
By Darrell (of blackthen.com)
December 19, 2007 10:34 AM | Link to this
Demi “It must be hard confining your thoughts into one or two paragraphs at times…” Not hard at all. What seems difficult is certain people dealing with thoughts that don’t first have to be decoded from “blogspeak”.
By Mr KnowitALL AKA 900K
December 19, 2007 10:35 AM | Link to this
I do compliment guys..but then they think you want them. Why is that? - Staceye, Slim This all depends on the environment w/ me. If we are at work, church or some formal type engagement then fine. But when I’m out and socializing and you come to me with that and I think you’re attractive then I may perceive this as a mixed message. No I will not start rambling off nasty lines to you, that is just wrong no matter what! However this comes off as you may have an interest in me so I would like to talk more to see where it goes. I don’t see anything wrong with that. Ladies for future reference when a man is out on the hunt do not interrupt to complement him and expect not to become the target. No offense but in a social club/ happy hour/ sports bar setting your “not-interested-sexually” compliment can be a complete waist of time.
Again I aint knockin you jus answering the Q:
By melo
December 19, 2007 10:36 AM | Link to this
LadyD and Staceye, thank u ladies, nice to know. Cemeli how was the game.U know Binford must not be the 1st one to come swinging his hips and talking about his breakfast basket.Man will always be man and will raise eyebrows when u do that.We cant let the woman do all the work but a man who is a pushover, who relents without a nudge is suspicious. That was Truth’s point.Why even proclaim that u have a penis when we see u’re wearing pants and have a beard?Who asked u and who is not convinced except urself?
By Cemeeli
December 19, 2007 10:37 AM | Link to this
DasV
missing lunch yesterday cant count toward your time anywhoo… but nice try
DANG!
What about after we finish our departmental Christmas lunch @ Maggiano’s, I sneek off to the mall. You tink they’ll miss me for 45-1hr?
By Tazzee
December 19, 2007 10:38 AM | Link to this
Morning folks!
I have no problem giving or receiving compliments. Even if I know dude might have the wrong motive for the compliment, I’ll just say thank you and move on. For instance if a guy says ‘you have nice lips’ with a perv look on his face, I say ‘thank you’ and keep it moving. But if a man speaks to me in a disrespectful manner, I will either ignore him and give him a piece of my mind - it depends on my mood.
Darrell - “From a birth-order standpoint, if you happen to be a middle-child (like me) it can be more difficult for you to receive compliments, because you’re so used to trying to please everyone and prove that you “measure up” to your younger and older siblings (who normally get all the attention simply by virture of their being first and last born.)”
I’m a middle child and I don’t have that problem….anymore But you are right, I went through that when I was younger and busted my behind to get attention. Now I have NO problem receiving compliments, or complimenting myself which I do quite often, LOL
By Cemeeli
December 19, 2007 10:39 AM | Link to this
Hi Darrell no offence. I had Soy for brkfst this morning with my hashbrowns.
By SlimOne
December 19, 2007 10:40 AM | Link to this
Cemeeli
By BLOW ME
December 19, 2007 10:43 AM | Link to this
ARED You are acting as if it’s raining good men and women in Atlanta!
It’s so not! I want QUALITY over QUANITY. Getting dates are not a problem getting some QUALITY is!
By JustMe
December 19, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this
Ceemeli Are U psychic? How did yyou know I would be arriving now?? hmmmmmm
I compliment men (not boys) when I feel it is deserved. IF I like your clothes, your hair, your cologne, your car, your shades……… whatever if I feel like I like it and you are in ear shot, I’ma make ya day JustMe style.
As far as accepting compliments, I’ve heard the wanna climb dem leggs a milliuon times and a millions ways, and I always smiles and say thanks, thinking in the back of my mind, I wouldn’t let you touch me with somebody elses (expletive)!
Now if the compliment is on my shoes, clothers, hair, eyes, I still say thanks, but then I have an airy feeling about JustMe that makes me wonder what I did different today. I smile with my lips and my eyes and keep on keepin’ on.
By Darrell (of blackthen.com)
December 19, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this
Tazz “I’m a middle child and I don’t have that problem….anymore But you are right, I went through that when I was younger and busted my behind to get attention.” I appreciate your saying that. :-) And jus think, Das would have had me leave that part out altogether. :-/
Cemeeli Morning and no offense taken. (As long as I don’t have to eat it.) :-)
By Foots
December 19, 2007 10:50 AM | Link to this
To some degree, I’m wary of guys who compliment me on my lips…
Amazon Girl, yeah! I was out with my friend and her boyfriend. He brought his friend, and dude was a pure perv. He drunkenly said “You have some purrrrty, sekshy (sexy) lips”. Big turn off.
Now, my mom told me I had beautiful lips when I was about 14. From that day on, I was like “My mama say I got pretty lips!!” They were the only thing I really liked about my body until I was about 23. LOL!
I’ll all for sincere compliments. Sexual comments don’t get far with me, but I’ll take a “you look nice” anyday. I get compliments on my eyes and smile a lot and always have (before braces and contacts), but comments about both of those I had to get used to. I hated my smile and the shape of my eyes through my early 20s, so I had to get used to the idea that they were the first things folks noticed about me and that those people thought they were pretty.
By JustMe
December 19, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this
Staceye My son tole me Mom Your song is on I was think WTH??? then he starting singing she got her own house , her own car……. all I could do was smile. I took it as a compliment
By mqew (2 days to vacation)
December 19, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this
Morning Good Peeps!
I love compliments and take all of them in stride. From the sleaze just wanting to “get at it”, to the “sincere/nice” looking brother. I mean, I’m fine…. with a nice body. (Perfect tah tahs, I don’t have an onion booty, but its somethin back there, runner legs) soooo… it’s only natural to receive compliments. But, it took awhile for me to get here. When I was younger I def under the impression that all compliments were to “get at it”. AND, I’m sure it had something to do with my garden tool brother who made sure I knew the “game”.
As far as giving, I’m guilty of not giving as good as I get. I do recall goin a lil to far once at Dugans. This dude was p****** fine as hell. And I made sure he knew it. He was hitting on me, but I wouldnt let him get far cause I was telling him how fine he was… (Ladies, tall, dark perfect complexion, cheekbones, basketball physique, and nice…) Anyhoo I think I scared him off. (Not that night, but the next. We were suppose to meet for drinks and he called and cancelled, then I did the next….) Uuuummmmmm… what were we talking about?
By Foots
December 19, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this
melo Now Wise and u ladies, is it vulgar to compliment a woman on her breasts if u think they sit on her chest perfectly?Just asking coz i want to come correct to u ladies
Yes, it is vulgar to compliment a woman who is not YOUR woman on her breasts. She will not say “thank you” and smile, unless you’re getting ready to pay her for a dance or a lay.
By Rell
December 19, 2007 10:53 AM | Link to this
@amazon..we finally agree on something..it is not hard to find a date…its not the date or finding someone of quality it is the person seeking…some of you folks need to get off and over yourself fast..thats the biggest problem that i see
By Cemeeli
December 19, 2007 10:55 AM | Link to this
BlwMe you are not on some mo stuff (like me & LDark) Lol…you’re on the right stuff @ 10:43 Part B.
Slim and licking you lips…ugh. Just nasty.
Demi okay coupons that i get never expire.
Melo I was SCREAMING to the top of my lung capacity (not really). It and they were on FIRE. I took my Thrashers blanket/banner and acted up!
By melo
December 19, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this
THANK FOR THAT!! I Staceye i do not think u really understand the psyche of woman who like man and who want to be with man.If i were Ared i would take ur cosign with a pinch of salt.Most women would luv validation from somebody who loves them(their man) and would not give a hoot about the whistles or boos of the rest of the world.Ur stance is the ultra feminist one that we see sometimes on other women foreheads.I cant miss it.
By AmazonRed
December 19, 2007 10:56 AM | Link to this
Blow Me We can agree to disagree. There is tons of quality in Atlanta.
The rub is…just because they are quality does NOT mean they are the one that’s meant for you. People need to understand the difference.
By DasV
December 19, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this
CEEmee gurl, you got me hollerin ova here… i needed that laugh@ you holdin marriage ceremonies…. and no do not sneak off to go shoppin. you know what our blog-bruhs was sayin yesterday about the market and jobs… stay yo butt at work. thats why i am in a stank mood as it is… cause im at work and actually havin to work.. gotta thank Eye for this henny… hoping it will mellow me out… but not as far as blow likes to take things LOL
By Dan
December 19, 2007 11:00 AM | Link to this
While I have to cop to not reading every entry, a couple must be commented on.
Dig this, while I will innocently compliment a woman, I want blatently tell you that the jeans you are wearing look good on you. And the bra, oh, the ladies look nice and snug, good job.
Don’t come out the house with no form fitting clothes on and expect me not to comment. When you sqouze your azz in them jeans and that (oh,so delicious) 2 size to small shirt/bra, don’t get mad at the D for complimenting. Hell, you wore it, I’ma think it was on my behalf, so I will say thank you….in no uncertain terms.
Now that isn’t to say I want you to feel slutty, but on occasion (and fellas you know what I’m talking about) when that one girl, with that body, in those jeans walk by……
I’ve been know to visually molest her. Not say a mumbling word, not even get caught doing it, but yeah, that chill down your spine…..that’s me.
finger licking good
By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth
December 19, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this
Melo cosigning your 1012 100%. At 24 its nothing but a party.
On the serious: Alot of times I’m amazed at all the problems we experience in the dating scene. I know times have changed but there’s always some quality people out there to lay your head on. Maybe its just venting on here but it seems folks have some major issues with the opposite sex. For the guys I really don’t understand because its always some nice women out their to enjoy time with. As much as I give y’all a hard time I appreciate those things that make you “woman”. Where did the mass disconnect happen?
Staceye next time I try to incite a blog war and you smooth it over we’re gonna have words. LOL (Binford comment)
Is it just me or are folks in here feeling froggy these last few days? The holidays are kicking in on some ppl. LMAO
Binford I apologize for my earlier comments. Can you put some cream and sugar in that coffee? Thanks.
DAsV if you need some backup give me a shout. Some of these folks like going underground to make wack posts.
By SlimOne
December 19, 2007 11:02 AM | Link to this
Demi
My, my, my, MY. You sure do have the biggest….big toe I’ve ever seen.
Demi: Um (looking confused)..I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. How can you tell if i have on steel-toe boots?
Slim: Easy. Your zipper is undone.
Slim walks away leaving Demi blushing trying to hurriedly zip up his pants
Mr KnowitALL AKA 900K
Ladies for future reference when a man