Misadventures in Atlanta

By SlimOne

December 14, 2007 8:30 AM | Link to this

TGIF!!!

I have never broken up with someone before the holiday’s to prevent from buying a gift. Also, if i was losing interest I would still get a gift, just not that extravagant of a gift.

I have only been in one situation where I had already bought a guy a gift I was dating months before Xmas. However, during the holidays he started acting weird. So eventually we met up to give our gifts back to each other. I took it as he was too guilty to accept the jewelry that I had bought him. It was his idea not mine because I told him if i didn’t want him to have it, I wouldn’t have bought it. Later it came out that he had met another chick when I got an unexpected email from her titled “Woman to Woman”. LMAO A reminder why I’m not into Long Distance Relationships

By Beautiful

December 14, 2007 8:32 AM | Link to this

i only buy presents from the heart. all that guilty, cheap buying i refuse to do.

morning y’all!

By ImAPeach404

December 14, 2007 8:41 AM | Link to this

Good morning

Naughty, guilty.

This year I broke up with my boyfriend on Valentines day. About two weeks before, I found out he was doing things he shouldn’t… I was going to let it go immediately, but since I still cared for him (despite what he’d done) I couldn’t stand the thought of him spending Valentines day with someone else so…

I know that was real stink, but what he did was stink too!

Luckily I hadn’t bought his gift yet so I wasn’t out any change and my gift was going to be some big special dinner, but when he was like “You read to go to the grocery store?” Thats when I was like “Uh… we need to talk”.

So, I guess I was half naughty and half nice.

By 2CPTG©

December 14, 2007 8:43 AM | Link to this

Morning…..

may just be me, but if it’s over you ain’t gettin’ shyt!

By QC - leaving @ noon

December 14, 2007 8:45 AM | Link to this

Morning Bloggers!

HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY TO MY PRECIOUS, SWEET GOD-SISTER “YVONNE”

have a great weekend all!

www.blackthen.com

By AmazonRed

December 14, 2007 8:48 AM | Link to this

I’m not into gifts, really. Giving or receiving. I’d rather have your time. Let’s do something fun or have a nice dinner. I’m always surprised when guys suprise me with gifts for Valentines Day. It’s always something small, like a stuffed animal or homemade CD, but it still shocks me because I never have anything for them.

Maybe if I had a bonafide boyfriend during these times, I’d be different. But usually I’m just dating someone. I don’t expect anything in those instances.

You should never break up with someone during the holidays unless they are treating you really sh!tty.

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 14, 2007 8:50 AM | Link to this

Good Morning Everyone!!

I’ve never been in the situation of breaking up with someone over the holidays. But I would imagine that if my heart wasn’t into giving gifts that i would suggest we not exchange gifts. I get in those moods from time to time. It’s easier to focus on the meaning of the season. So I would probably suggest writing a letter, a quiet date, something that would either focus on repairing the relationship or letting the shyt hit the fan!

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 14, 2007 9:03 AM | Link to this

Good Morning All,

If you are giving a gift to get something in return then you are giving for the wrong reason.

If you are in a relationship and breakup with someone because you dont want to have to buy them a gift then you are warped as hell and should break up with them just to save them the aggravation down the road.

If you want to breakup with someone dont soften the blow..do it like a band-aid rip it off and keep it moving. Be it Chirstmas, birthday, Kwanzza, when the thrill is gone it is gone why look at the date on the calendar?

I give a gift because I care not because I expect something in return.

By DasV

December 14, 2007 9:03 AM | Link to this

good morning good people

this same blog topic is being used for ajc’s holiday blog, should be interesting how differently they pan out

a consolation prize never does the job its suppose to do. a breakup with or without a gift attached to it is still a breakup…. and when its time, its time.

By ImAPeach404

December 14, 2007 9:05 AM | Link to this

Lady, you just reminded me… this guy who I was dating - actually the same one from the above story - asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Homeboy didn’t have a lot and I knew that so I thought I’d take the sweet/considerate approach… “Baby, just write me a letter”.

sigh He couldn’t even do that… all I got for my birthday was some quality time. Lol. It was cool though, I was “in love” so it really didn’t bother me when he showed up w/out an envelope in hand.

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 9:10 AM | Link to this

When it comes to breaking up I believe honesty is the best no matter what season it is. If you do not want someone free them, don’t hang on because of some man made holiday. You owe it to yourself as well as the other person if you have any kind of respect for yourself or others.

By DreamsMaterialize

December 14, 2007 9:21 AM | Link to this

If you know the break-up is inevitable, then don’t prolong it. Save yourselves some gift money, as well as the extended heartache. There are exceptions though. I waited until after the holiday to break up with someone before because she didn’t have any family, and the holidays can be a difficult time to spend alone.

By SeanJohnson3000

December 14, 2007 9:24 AM | Link to this

Sup Blog…two of my long term relationships were with females born on the same day a few days before xmas..since xmas and bdays fell days apart…i always had to be creative in buying gifts.. so breaking up wasnt on my mine at the time…i really dont think dudes really break up with females between 12/24—-2/14…like everybody thinks…More than likely he is with his main chic and doesnt have the time or resources to give gifts to the 2nd or 3rd string….either that or he just isnt in to you.

By Jazzyone

December 14, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

What up ya!..Love giving little treats and things for the Holidays! I usually get things from others but love giving more. Also do allot of donating to the kids and the Step Up Society etc for the holidays so many people in need!

This year though I’m giving a pack of condoms to someone with the steel encased ribbing…LOL…

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 14, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

Morning, all.

I don’t believe “timing” - holidays or not - should have any bearing on when a break-up occurs. A person should do whatever their conscience dictates, as long as they consider the impact on the other person. Simply put, just “do unto others…”

By 2CPTG©

December 14, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

“If you know the break-up is inevitable, then don’t prolong it.”

yep…..”That which must be done eventually, should be done immediately”……

By ImAPeach404

December 14, 2007 9:34 AM | Link to this

There are exceptions though. I waited until after the holiday to break up with someone before because she didn’t have any family, and the holidays can be a difficult time to spend alone.

Dreams, I actually think thats an acceptable reason prolong the breakup. I wouldn’t think bad of anyone who did that :)

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 9:41 AM | Link to this

Good Friday Morning Everyone!

Do you consider yourself naughty or nice when it comes to handling gifting and holiday breakups? Nice - I am a serial over gifter. I only give gifts of a quality that I would purchase for myself.

Would your exes agree? I expect they would. Last year’s JustHim was gifted a pair of Jordans. He called this year to remind me what size he wore, and also offered up his favorite colognes. I hated to be the bearer of bad news……. but he hneeded to know, because I did not want him to buy me anything in anticipation of exchanging gifts this year.

I’ve gotten “wussy” in my old age, I’d probably not cut bait around a B-Day, Holiday or other date that might be sensative to my Soon-2-B-X.

By DasV

December 14, 2007 9:43 AM | Link to this

There are exceptions though. I waited until after the holiday to break up with someone before because she didn’t have any family, and the holidays can be a difficult time to spend alone.

since when did ‘dating’ become ‘babysitting’?? i am curious, oDreamOne did you find the breakup later on to actually be easier?

By AmazonRed

December 14, 2007 9:47 AM | Link to this

I agree Dreams, you still have to take into account the fact that many people aren’t good being alone during the holidays. Especially if it’s going to be a “it’s not you, it’s me” speech, you might want to consider the timing. Depression and suicides all rise during the holidays. I just think people should be more considerate during the holiday time.

I’m not one to hold my tongue or waste time, but I am one to consider other people’s feelings.

By 2CPTG©

December 14, 2007 9:49 AM | Link to this

Darrell….I agree in principle, to what you’re saying, however, if you’re really thinking about the impact a break-up may have on a person, and your conscience is the guiding force, then methinks that break-up may be a drawn out process….like Kym said, sometimes you just gotta rip it off, and do like Usher and let it burn!

By Blow Me

December 14, 2007 9:51 AM | Link to this

3000Funny, but real! lol!

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 9:53 AM | Link to this

SeanJohnson Why do some men have 2nd and 3rd strings….what is up with that? What is wrong with one woman at a time.

By DreamsMaterialize

December 14, 2007 9:59 AM | Link to this

ImAPeach404 Thanks. I figured it’s hard not to have family anytime of the year, but holidays just compound that feeling. No sense kicking a person when they’re down.

By kinderbabe

December 14, 2007 9:59 AM | Link to this

dreams that’s a very considerate stance you took as far as waiting in on instance to break up after the holidays. it can be a rough time for some people w/depression and such when there are not a lot of family and friends around.

i’ve never broken up w/someone just b/c the holidays were approaching. however, i’ve had it done to me. maybe it’s b/c my birthday is on new year’s eve and it adds another gift giving occasion to the mix…lol.

By Staceye

December 14, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this

**OOOOH Peach! LOL

I have as short list…just my parents and my grab bag gift. My girls and I have a grab bag party when I get home. We set the limit at $40 and each person buys a gift that anyone of us could use…one person hosts the party but each girl brings a dish or drink. Then we draw numbers to determine the order of gifting. Then our girls lil’ boy pulls the wrapped gifts from the bag and hands it to whomever is in the numeral order of receiving. At the end you can exchange if someone got something you want…the only catch is you can not leave with the gift you brought.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 14, 2007 10:01 AM | Link to this

2CPTG In raising the issue of potential “impact” on the other person, that doesn’t necessarily have to translate to a long, drawn out break-up process. In my mind, it all starts with how you’ve treated the person up to that point.

If you’ve dealt with them honestly and treated them respectfully before now, chances are, even if the break-up is somewhat abrupt, they’ll appreciate you for keeping it real with them. Break-ups that are abrupt or sudden don’t always have to be protracted.

By Alvin

December 14, 2007 10:02 AM | Link to this

DasV Good morning, miss ya yesterday…

404 you did right, once you’re disrespected… (Depending on what it is or was)…you gotta make like CoCo’s hot 107.9 skit: Let Go!!!

QC I when and brought myself a new ‘Sky Blue’ cape’n’tights/w lime baby blue gators (WTH, this even a real color)…I’ll be picking you up at noon!

A gift idea for ladies with mates or boys above 12, LOL

I just pick up a INSIGNIA blue tooth mp3 player/w video for under $100.00 from Best buy…So far the player is holding it’s own against the mighty ipods under $250.00…a big PLUS, the Motorola ht820 stereo head set works with my cell phone and mp3 player…so now my ipod owning co-workers are hating on my wireless a$$!!

HEHEHEHEHEEHEH

Negative: talking with head phone on to the air, makes you look like a weirdo…I am like: Dude, I have no idea were the boom mic is!!!

Why am I hearing 1960’s Star Trek theme in my head?

By Staceye

December 14, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

Chrissy Why do some men have 2nd and 3rd strings….what is up with that? What is wrong with one woman at a time that would be something called right..and welll you know men never want to do that! LOL It’s one of the 7 deadly sins….GREED!

By Willie Dynamite

December 14, 2007 10:05 AM | Link to this

Morning All

I’m with the when its time it’s time crowd. Waiting until after any holiday just cause its the holiday is patronizing. One one hand it may be thoughtful but at the same time like you doing that person a favor. That to me is some Binford Azz ish (no offense just thought it fit).

3000 i really dont think dudes really break up with females between 12/24—-2/14…like everybody thinks…More than likely he is with his main chic and doesnt have the time or resources to give gifts to the 2nd or 3rd string….either that or he just isnt in to you. Simple as that. Holidays and Events are for the main chick. If you find yourself getting shunned and forgotten during certain times of the year more than likely you are not #1.

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 14, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

Good morning blogsville.

On the day you know its over let the other person know. Its the cool thing to do.

Jazzy if you were referring to me just give me a blow job. We can do it behind your closed doors tho so it doesn’t count for you being a ho. LOL

By Corbin

December 14, 2007 10:06 AM | Link to this

Off topic: I heard some talk about Ware County going to the State Championship game on the blog a couple of days ago … Well I hate to break the bad news to ya, but Northside H.S. ain’t havin’ it! WARner Robins, GA aka Championship City!!!

By Alvin

December 14, 2007 10:08 AM | Link to this

JustMe you be kicking out men left and right…Now come here and give me a hug..thinking to myself, Mayne these twins are soft!!! LOL

By DreamsMaterialize

December 14, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this

DasV I wouldn’t consider it babysitting, but being aware of another person’s feelings. The break-up actually was easier for her afterwards.

She never knew her dad, mother was murdered at 7, and she was raised by foster parents who cared more about the check than their kids. She pretty much had no family to speak of. I’m definitely not a fan of victim mentality/behavior, but I do care about people and how my behavior affects them. Obviously, no one else in her life ever cared about that.

AmazonRed I agree. BTW, did you catch the meteor shower?

By SeanJohnson3000

December 14, 2007 10:15 AM | Link to this

@ Chrissy…its just not men with teams…females normally have two men..maybe 3…one called dyck..one called money..and maybe one that fills that emotional void and listens to her…Dont act you u have never had to hide an Xmas gift in the trunk and or sneak it in the house.

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

Just break it off….RESPECT.

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

Alvin I think my guy-o-meter is on the low side 1 maybe 2 a year……

Let me put my heels back on before I hug you…… I ain’t trying to have you makin triplets out of my twins.

By Angel007

December 14, 2007 10:23 AM | Link to this

Morning it’s Friday..it’s Friday…it’s da end of da week…it’s da last..Heeeey!

I’m surely a nice girl. I’ve never broken up with anyone during the holidays due to me not wanting to give a gift. I’ve always been a cheerful giver, who doesn’t look for anything in return. Now that I’m reflecting on it, I’ve gotten so really awesome things Xmas, & V-day.

By Rell

December 14, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

@truth….ok homie..ya might need to ease up a little on the ho talk….that horse is dead..why you still riding it!!!!!…lets move on!!!!…dayum….plus my sis is no HO!!!!!

By ImAPeach404

December 14, 2007 10:24 AM | Link to this

why do some men have 2nd and 3rd strings….what is up with that? What is wrong with one woman at a time

Chrissy oooh, not today girl. It’s Friday…not today!

By AmazonRed

December 14, 2007 10:25 AM | Link to this

Dreams - No meteor shower for me. It was raining that day. When I left work the sky looked too overcast for me to chance it.

Next time tho! :-)

By Cemeeli

December 14, 2007 10:29 AM | Link to this

Greeting n’ Salutations Everyone!

On Topic: My gift giving is from my heart…so there go cakeing the breakup.

Off Topic: The Mitchell Report, Steroid use/Peformance Inhancement, MLB investigating Roger Clemens…WOW! A lot of things are becoming uncovered/made public over this last year….a lot of stuff. I don’t know what Hilary is thinking (supporters are supporting b/c the hope of Bill’s influence) I don’t think so…

By Preacher/Father/Bishop Truth Formally known as The Truth

December 14, 2007 10:31 AM | Link to this

Rell if thats your sis you need to tell that bytch to watch who she’s talking to. And don’t ever try to step in and check me punk azz. Before you go playing capt go read her post.

By Alvin

December 14, 2007 10:41 AM | Link to this

JustMe you know how to kill a brother’s fantasy…but it is cool outside, I think head warmers are nice LOL

SeanJohnson3000 you trippin’ bruh, us some God fearing folks on this blog…no one on here kepts 2,3,4,12 stringers…we date only person at a time., LOL

What is wrong with one woman at a time

Because you are most likely setting yourself up for failure…but you can always try again..LOL

By Cemeeli

December 14, 2007 10:42 AM | Link to this

Alvin thanks for the info on that Insigna! I will be looking into that gat.

JustMe…step away from the eggnog!

@ DasV - What is the best gift you think you given a SO/guyfriend? all the ladies can answer this one? I’m curious…

By DasV

December 14, 2007 10:44 AM | Link to this

Dreams i’on… i personally cant stomach ‘pity’, which basically what you’re doing when you stay with someone just because of the season. with the background she had, i am sure she was a lot stronger than you took her for…. just a thought——> it wouldve been cool for you to let her know that you needed to end the relationship, but that you cared about her as a person and still wanted to hang out through the season.

see, what i suspect is you wanted to break up (knew you were going to), but did not and you still were intimate, ….. thats not only pity, you ‘used’ her and everyone commending you on your “stance” oughta be ashamed.

jmho

By DasV

December 14, 2007 10:46 AM | Link to this

good morning alvin yesterdays topic wasnt my thang, so i bounced.

*did your cousin give you my message?

By SlimOne

December 14, 2007 10:47 AM | Link to this

Staceye My family has a slightly different version of that gift game. We call it Dirty Santa. Everyone buys a set monetary amout gift. We then put all the gifts together, then pick numbers out a hat. The person with #1 picks any gift other than his/her own and opens in front of all. Then the person with #2 can either take #1’s gift or open a new one. The 3rd person can now take either #1’s gift or #2’s gift…so on so forth. It makes it really fun and exciting. With my family, there is no telling what kind of gift you may end up with. One year someone ended up with a Master-bation Kit and someone else a Huge bottle of MAD DOG 20/20! LMAO! (so gag gifts are fun too)

By Staceye

December 14, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

Ared & Dreams the meteor shower should be visible tonight and tomorrow if the rain does not cause a lot of fog. Ha what am I talking about? This is GA…we don’t get rain! LOL

Rell & Truth back to your corners and take a sip of that nac and chill out! It’s Friday….HEYYYYYYYY!

By itsmorenamorena

December 14, 2007 10:48 AM | Link to this

Feliz Friday to you all

Happy Birthday to all my fellow Sagittarians :)

On topic: If we’re done, you gets none.

As for time spent, the last few years I have been single during the holidays, so I was always with family and friends, here or at home in LA. Never had a breakup during the holidays. I enjoy giving gifts, and can’t say I ever expect to receive anything. But I’m pleasantly surprised when I do!

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 10:49 AM | Link to this

seanjohnson3000 I have never had to hide a gift in the trunk or sneak it in the house in my 28 years of life. (1) I would not be living with someone i am not married to and i would not treat my husband that way if i had one…he may never find out but God sees and you know were adulturers are going. (2) I really strive to treat others the way I would want to be treated….I don’t care if every woman in Atlanta had men on the side, it doesn’t mean i have to do the same or will.

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 10:51 AM | Link to this

staceye LOL

By SlimOne

December 14, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

Alvin Because you are most likely setting yourself up for failure…but you can always try again..LOL

Why did i get the visual of you trying to look in every girl you meets granny panties just to see if you were a winner. Sorry Please Play Again! lmao

By Alvin

December 14, 2007 10:52 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli Morning sis, you are late…now you and slim go and get us some popcorn

*Now holding sign which reads:

Def Jam Streets vol.5: Corporate Thugz

only for PS3

By Cemeeli

December 14, 2007 10:58 AM | Link to this

Slim I’ve been made to know that my dept here at work will be doing Dirty Santa this year. Is it fun? At first i was like WTH??? Then i don’t want to be a non-participant again…

By Willie Dynamite

December 14, 2007 10:59 AM | Link to this

5,4,3,2, Who got the popcorn?

Off Topic- That Mitchell report was serious. Wonder how they gon handle that. Can’t just go after Bonds now. We’ll see if Clemens/Pettite gets the same anger from the folks as Bonds. I doubt it.

On Topic- Gift giving is just that, giving. If you give only to receive then you are setting yourself up for failure. I’d be shocked if someone today actually said they broke-up with someone to keep from buying a gift.

Das I’m Cosigning your reply to Drreams. I think on the surface it was thoughtful. But really really really patronizing. Thats some bullshyt. I think you hit the nail on the head(no pun) with the ‘I know you’ve had a rough life and no one ever cared about you. Ima do you a favor and kick it with you through the holidays’. My .02

By Rell

December 14, 2007 11:01 AM | Link to this

LOL, staceye…lady i am cool…i am just wondering if homie is santa with all the ho ho ho he has going on..and if he is santa that brother owes me one green machine…lol

no more blog battles for me….told you i am the smoothie king from now on….freshly squeezed

By Staceye

December 14, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

Slim I got a bottle of Hennessey last year..so I feel ya. I am thinking of a dirty gift this year….maybe somethign that vibrates! LOL

Chrissy I cosign your 10:49 post girl. I too am against shacking up and the side man thing. If I am not ready to be with one man…then I should not be married.

By binford

December 14, 2007 11:03 AM | Link to this

Today I was just hoping to sit on the sidelines - yet still I get bashed.

So wrong!

Shame on you Willie Dynamite

By melo

December 14, 2007 11:04 AM | Link to this

Why do some men have 2nd and 3rd strings….what is up with that? What is wrong with one woman Chrissy Supply and demand, the simple laws of economic apply as far as that is concerned.Men are rational investors, not emotional.They hedge their bets too by dating more than one.Hey, why put valuable resources to waste simply becoz the numbers are eschewed way too much in ladies favor. Good morning Blog

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 11:05 AM | Link to this

Alvin My bad boo, I didn’t know your ears were cold……… c’mere put your head down here where it’s really warm

Cemeeli It’s Friday and past noon somewhere on this green earth. I’m nogging until 11 PM Sunday!

As far as gifting goes, I think JustMe is more precious than anything I could ever purchase :-)

By 2CPTG©

December 14, 2007 11:09 AM | Link to this

Willie D, those are my sentiments as well; that’s why I was askin Darrell, to elaborate a lil more on his first post….if you’re breaking up with a person, who gives a damn how they’ll take it! really! Unless they’ve committed an egregious act, which would call for immediate dismissal, then that break-up was a proces within itself…..meaning, you’ve tried to work it out, to no avail, so now parting ways is the thing to do……

By Cemeeli

December 14, 2007 11:13 AM | Link to this

….Dang! why I always gotta be the errand gurl?

…getting a big ole tin of cheese, carmel and butter popcorn…* Drinks???…naw forget that nobody has given me any money…so we’re having water.

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 14, 2007 11:14 AM | Link to this

Dreams I think you did a good thing because you were trying to be thoughtful. What people are forgetting is that if you care about people it’s not always about what you want and when you want it. You don’t ALWAYS have to act the minute you decide something…there are ALWAYS other considerations. Sometimes, it may be that you do’t want to add to that person’s drama. Whether you broke up with them today or next month doesn’t change the outcome, but it could have a lasting impact on that person. Suicide rates go up over the holidays more than any other time of the year. The fact that someone wants to be considerate enough to put someone before themselves is the essence of compassionate.

By BLAT

December 14, 2007 11:16 AM | Link to this

Sup, Blog!

Dayum, Pasta Truth!!! the Poobah thinks you might need to check the congregation…. We apparently are hearing loud testimony from some members of the First Church of the Holy and Untouched Pudding infiltratin your masses. That’d be Staceye, Chrissy, Jazzy, the Trinity of Pious Itches. LMAO

And let’s not forget their official Eunich, Rell.

By Beautiful

December 14, 2007 11:17 AM | Link to this

melo ok, so when y’all off doin’ the damn thang with all these females, don’ start crying like a lil biatch when 1) she beat yo azz 2) you come home from work and yo shyt is gone 3) she moves far away and takes your child with her 4) you come out the house, shut the door, take the keys out your pocket and look up to see yo car is jacked the pluck up, etc. lmao.

By Willie Dynamite

December 14, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

Binford no offense Mayne. I was just using the phrase how Websters would want it used. It is part of the lexicon now. Right. Anyway jump on in with the topic. I’m sure you have a interesting take on the holiday gift giving relationship breakup matter. I am also sure that you will reinforce what Binford means. J/K bruh.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 14, 2007 11:18 AM | Link to this

2CPTG “….if you’re breaking up with a person, who gives a damn how they’ll take it!”

I do.

By SlimOne

December 14, 2007 11:19 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli I’ve never played it at work but I’ve always had a great time playing especially when folks come and take your gift because it’s a good one..next thing you know, you’ve gone from a bottle of Goose to a travel size Etch-a-Sketch or something equally as bad. LMAO!

Staceye I can’t say I’d give away a bottle of Henny. That would have to be a gift to myself from myself.

By 2CPTG©

December 14, 2007 11:21 AM | Link to this

y’all killin’ me……

son, I’mma beat yo azz for messin up in school………next week though, since it’s the holidays……..whatever!

By Cemeeli

December 14, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

Hi LadyD good to read ya…speaking of essence how is it going with you and fiany? It’s Christmas I’m single and want to hear about positive/productive relationships…

By Belinda

December 14, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

if you’re breaking up with a person, who gives a damn how they’ll take it!. You sound like quite a catch. So, when was the last time you had a healthy and loving relationship? Did you end things with the same amount of respect you expressed in this sentiment?

By DasV

December 14, 2007 11:26 AM | Link to this

CEEmee handin you some funds for the drinks

stupidest gift: another girl

most thoughtful: flew his momma in from island

most expensive: coldplay tickets in NYC

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 14, 2007 11:27 AM | Link to this

if you’re breaking up with a person, who gives a damn how they’ll take it!

Just because you’re breaking up with someone doesn’t mean you shouldn’t care about how they feel. It just means that you’ve decided that there isn’t going to be forever after with this person in a romantic sense.

By Angel007

December 14, 2007 11:32 AM | Link to this

Beautiful girl you a fool I needed that laugh. Truth be told people don’t think of the consquences of their actions. Goes to show that character of lots of people. Nobody says that you have to break-up on pens and needles. Men/women love many different ways and each person surely is entitled to handle the situation the way they feel best. Just know that you can be the cause of something extreme all because you had a don’t give-a-fugg, imma do me attitude.

By DasV

December 14, 2007 11:34 AM | Link to this

Lady postponing the inevitable is drama… not shooting straight and laying things on the line, ie telling the truth.

you cant be serious with basically saying you would prefer someone keep having sex with you and at the same time x-ing of the days on the calendar till they breakup with you??

and if someone is going to consider suicide just because of a breakup, then the relationship is the least of their problems…..

By Rell

December 14, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this

@blat, and this is coming from the man that is 7months pregnant with truths baby…..so you know that you get the side eye from me…..plus i cant really understand what you typed with truths dyck in your hands….so please homo back da fluck up

By Alvin

December 14, 2007 11:35 AM | Link to this

DasV No he did right…I date a girl like, I broke up with her after her birthday…and to this day she thanks me…what I say old have issue and no family to speak of…wow, I and lucky to have a mother, sis, bro, and mini me.

JustMe LOL, you made my day…remember on 5’10 and up, I only do standing O’s…LOL heheheheheheh..hahahahaha.

I will hit you all up later

By 2CPTG©

December 14, 2007 11:41 AM | Link to this

Lady Dark, and Belinda, you’re taking it out of context…..no, you don’t say, “get the hell out, or B get to steppin”….not at all….but when it’s over, it’s over, point blank!!!! Shyt, for all of y’all out there receiving support from an ex hubby, do you give a damn how he’s going to pay you that exorbitant alimony/child support? hell no!

By binford

December 14, 2007 11:43 AM | Link to this

Willie

Surveying the blog around me

Nope, I still got nothing. Nothing to add to the legend (or lexicon) today - oh no sir re bob!

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 14, 2007 11:44 AM | Link to this

DasV There are a couple assumptions in your post…Oftentimes at the end of a relationship people ain’t hitting on nothing…Also, I wasn’t referring to the breakup that would cause a suicide, but statistically speaking suicides are higher because of depression and loneliness over the holidays. If you know that someone is having a hard time around the holidays (based on Dream’s example) and you prefer to have that conversation another time then I just don’t view it as self-serving behavior.

not shooting straight and laying things on the line, ie telling the truth

Where did he lie? Dream’s post didn’t insinuate that the conversation happened months later (unless I missed it) or that he was telling her how much he loved her in the meantime and can see them raising kids together.

When someone finally does approach you with ending the relationship…you have no idea how long they been contemplating doing it!

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 14, 2007 11:48 AM | Link to this

Cemeeli Hey girl! Me and SO are doing well praise God! Knock on Wood! Pick up a Penny!

Counseling is good and the pastor wanted to cut us loose after this Monday, but I was like oh NO I’m addicted to counseling now…is that crazy? But we’re learning so much on what it means to be married, how to communicate, even how to be considerate….

But we’re planning on going to the National Black Ski summit in January. Weren’t you thinking about going at one point????

By Staceye

December 14, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this

Binford I still luv ya boo! LOL

Dreams I agree…I think it was good that you waited ubtil after the holidays. They always symbolize family and if they have no one that could bring a serious depression. Kudos for you.

Blat you know I am far from Pius…I just have certain things I believe in. If you standing for nothing…you will fall for everything!

Beautiful I am picturing that chick jacking up Melo’s shyt! LOL he never saw Fatal Attraction.

Slim I too have given myself the to Staceye from Stacey gift! LOL Let’s just say that bottle never made it back to ATL….thanks mami! LOL Everynight I came home…that bottle got a lil’ lower. Then the last shot I let it sit…and as soon as I walked in she goes, “either you drink it or I will…no need in letting it stew”! LOL

Das the suicide would not be because of the break up…the break up would be the straw that breaks the camel’s back….so to speak.

By 2CPTG©

December 14, 2007 11:49 AM | Link to this

some of these comments are proof positive that folks like to be lied to!

if a guy or gal ain’t feelin it no more wouldn’t you want them to be forthright with you?

By AmazonRed

December 14, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

Wow, the men on here really do seem to be more catty than the women. Geez. What’s with all the beef?

By abc

December 14, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

Regarding 2CPTG’s post about ‘who gives a damn how they’ll take it’: I think he has a valid point.

Nobody is responsible for another person’s reactions. Especially if one has dealt fairly with another, the reaction to any situation, regardless of impetus, is the sole responsibility of the bearer, regardless who or what brought on the situation.

That’s not to say one shouldn’t bear responsibility for one’s own actions; it is to say that one needn’t necessarily bear responsibility for another’s reactions to one’s actions.

Maybe it’s too fine a hair to split.

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 11:50 AM | Link to this

melo if a man wants to date several women at one time that is fine…as long as he is willing to tell each woman that he is “rationally investing” in her and a couple of other investments to see which one brings the most satisfying return. Most men will not be honest, but play the deceitful role and make each woman feel like she is the only one….thats what i have the problem with.

staceye the shacking is not cool. I really believe that is one of the causes of broken homes and children not growing up with the benefit of both parents in the home. If he/she won’t marry you then you should not let them live with you.

By BLAT

December 14, 2007 11:55 AM | Link to this

Rell, and if don’t? Who’s gonna stop me? You’re lil punk, neutered, garden-tool sistah defendin azz? Puh-leez, Bych. U ain’t s#!t.

And since you’re such a fuggin simp that u gotta go right to the f* angle to drop a lil zinger or two, leave the insults to your hoe bag sister. She’s obviously the brains in your family.

By Beautiful

December 14, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

Angel007 lmao. coming from experience, females take these types of things harder. so to me, whateva happens after you pluck up is yo fault.

By DasV

December 14, 2007 11:56 AM | Link to this

Lady are you serious?! you dayum well know when someone is contemplating breaking up wit you… i quote you Oftentimes at the end of a relationship people ain’t hitting on nothing… what is that exactly?? i will tell you what that is: thats someone fenda breakup wit yo arshe, thats what that is.

and since you dont know,imma tell you where the lie is: its in going through the motions of being in a relationship with the breakup AND a date in mind (sometime after the season) that is a LIE. and there is no disputing that.

Alvin we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one too, bruh.

By DreamsMaterialize

December 14, 2007 11:57 AM | Link to this

DasV “pity” is synonymous with compassion and sympathy. Not sure why that’s difficult to stomach. I think you may have a problem stomaching CONTEMPTUOUS pity. If that’s that case, then I can’t stomach that either. We broke up shortly after New Years, so there was no prolonged period where I was “using” her for intimacy. I stand on more solid principles than that. It’s always easy for people with things to say how people without those things should act/react. I just tried to do what I thought was right…my intentions were honest.

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 14, 2007 11:58 AM | Link to this

Let me ask this question before I go to my noon meeting:

Where is the LIE?

Unless you woke up Christmas morning asking me if I still wanted to be in this relationship I didn’t lie to you. I’m going to let you know it’s over if that’s how I feel. It may be the next day or next week. Even if it’s not about a breakup…some other heart-tugging news…people typically consider if this is the best time to tell them the bad news. They know they have to be told eventually…the question is the timing. It’s difficult only because you still care and respect that person. If you didn’t…easy decision.

By Rell

December 14, 2007 11:59 AM | Link to this

Something for the weekend…for all my folks looking for that spark

Our desire for another person almost always involves social considera¬ tions: we are attracted to those who are attractive to other people. We want to possess them and steal them away. You can believe all the sentimental nonsense you want to about desire, but in the end, much of it has to do with vanity and greed. Do not whine and moralize about people’s selfish¬ ness, but simply use it to your advantage. The illusion that you are desired by others will make you more attractive to your victims than your beautiful face or your perfect body. And the most effective way to create that illusion is to create a triangle: impose another person between you and your victim, and subtly make your victim aware of how much this other person wants you. The third point on the triangle does not have to be just one person: surround yourself with admirers, reveal your past conquests—in other words, envelop yourself in an aura of desirability. Make your targets com¬ pete with your past and your present. They will long to possess you all to themselves, giving you great power for as long as you elude their grasp. Fail to make yourself an object of desire right from the start, and you will end up the sorry slave to the whims of your lovers—they will abandon you the moment they lose interest.

[A person] will desire any object so long as he is convinced that it is desired by another person whom he admires.

By DasV

December 14, 2007 12:00 PM | Link to this

Eye the suicide would not be because of the break up…the break up would be the straw that breaks the camel’s back….so to speak. if a relationship breaks the camel’s back, the camel was lame to begin wit and he’s back was gonna break regardless. (trust - i am in no way condoning that you disrespect someone when you end things)

By Belinda

December 14, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

Just because people want someone (who probably claimed to have cared for them) to treat them with dignity and respect does not mean they want to be lied to.

By Jazzyone

December 14, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

Thanks Rell I think the entire world can see that this ole dude is sexing and ain’t protecting and thats the most dangerous thing in the world and if BLAT wants to cosign its cool…call me what you want it doesn’t matter and its humor to me cause the important issue has already been stated…LOL

By Chink

December 14, 2007 12:02 PM | Link to this

2CPT

Yes but that means communicating ….if you not communicating that I aint feeling you then all of a “sudden” on 12/24 you want to break up …thats crude.

If we been having our issues and we both have addressed it and on 12/24 we peacefully break up…thats fine.

I think a lot of factors play into this such as time in the relationship and what we have together.

Sometimes saying I aint feeling u no more when ya’ll both live in the same house isn’t that “simple”.

Don’t lie to me but don’t treat me like crap either……unless I am in denial/psycho then you might have to be rude and kick my a** out.

By Cemeeli

December 14, 2007 12:04 PM | Link to this

LadyD I AM of course still trying to come up with a “plan of action” (in other words extra $$$) for the trip. I want to go really bad. BOy that would be the bomb winter vacation plus the fact that i have never skiied a day in my life.

If i would slow down and STOP shopping for Christmas (i’m on some mo’ stuff this year buying $100+ gift for folk). Then i could go!

My younger cousin called me yesturday to ask if i want to purchase his almost new PSP for my son. And i know i’m going to get it b/c he (cuz) wants to shop w/money and my son has been eyeballing it since lastyear. Me being a gadget-geek…i want to get a hand on one too. SEE I have a problem. getting of my box

Glad to hear you and yours are doing well ;-)! …addicted to the counseling…I see you’re on some mo’ stuff too…Lol!

By Rell

December 14, 2007 12:07 PM | Link to this

Desirability is a social illu¬ sion. Its source is less what you say or do, or any kind of boasting or selfadvertisement, than the sense that other people desire you. To turn your targets’ interest into something deeper, into desire, you must make them see you as a person whom others cherish and covet. Desire is both imitative (we like what others like) and competitive (we want to take away from oth¬ ers what they have). As children, we wanted to monopolize the attention of a parent, to draw it away from other siblings. This sense of rivalry pervades human desire, repeating throughout our lives. Make people compete for your attention, make them see you as sought after by everyone else. The aura of desirability will envelop you

By 2CPTG©

December 14, 2007 12:12 PM | Link to this

Lady Dark….c’mon sis……it’s difficult if you still care and respect that person? No! if you respect that person you tell them the damn truth! witholding the truth is just as bad as not telling it!

If you ask your SO how he feels about a certain thing, and he doesn’t answer, or says, “I’ll give you my answer some other time”…..is he being considerate?

By Rell

December 14, 2007 12:14 PM | Link to this

Symbol: The Trophy. What makes you want to win the trophy, and to see it as something worth having, is the sight of the other competitors. Some, out of a spirit of kindness, may want to reward everyone for trying, but the Trophy then loses its value. It must represent not only your victory but everyone else’s defeat.

By melo

December 14, 2007 12:20 PM | Link to this

Staceye i dont normaly watch movies unless its documentaries or good reality shows. I dont like illusions. Beautiful&Chrissy i was talking about dating and not when married.Even at that, im only pulling ur legs ladies, just to keep it light. Dont get so hang up on my comments and allow that to cause a relapse on ur part due to the shyt ur man pulled on ya’all. I dont wanna spoil ur fridays, so chill..okaaaaay!

By Willie Dynamite

December 14, 2007 12:28 PM | Link to this

Hindsight is 20/20. Easy to say you are being thoughtful and all that. My question is after the fact if you knew someone was gonna break up with you how would you feel if it was prolonged just because of a holiday? I think some of yall took 2C out of context with the mean part. He was basically saying come clean. Some are more blunt than others. Some beat around the bush. however you want to deal with it the most important thing is dealing with it.

By Rell

December 14, 2007 12:29 PM | Link to this

Everyone wears a mask in society; we pretend to be more sure of our¬ selves than we are. We do not want other people to glimpse that doubting self within us. In truth, our egos and personalities are much more fragile than they appear to be; they cover up feelings of confusion and emptiness. As a seducer, you must never mistake a person’s appearance for the reality. People are always susceptible to being seduced, because in fact everyone lacks a sense of completeness, feels something missing deep in¬ side. Bring their doubts and anxieties to the surface and they can be led and lured to follow you. No one can see you as someone to follow or fall in love with unless they first reflect on themselves somehow, and on what they are missing

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 12:32 PM | Link to this

melo Ok….I’m chilling. Happy Friday!

By Staceye

December 14, 2007 12:34 PM | Link to this

Chrissy I agree…if I can have a baby with you….or buy a house with you…then why can’t I marry you? That would be putting the cart before the horse. That’s like having the baby first and then getting mad when the dude won’t marry you. basically you are good enough to bare his child..but not to be his wife? What’s wrong with that picture? I’ll be d@mned if I will play house by moving in with you and combining finances…just do it already and stop half azzing it!

Das Its not about the person being lame…you just never know what kind of pain and longtime demons that person is fighting. I believe there is a time and place for everything. Like a pregnant woman..if her husbad wants a divorce…I see nothing wrong with him waiting until after she gives birth so she does not stress the fetus. That is what Dreams is talking about. She waited until after the holidays so this person would not be sitting at home alone on Christmas while he sees everyone with their loved ones and they have no one. I feel her on that one. I would have done the same thing.

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 12:38 PM | Link to this

Ring, BLing, Ring, Bling

Welcome to Round 5 of the Naught or Nice - Knock Down - Knock’em out blog battle of the boyz.

In honor of such AND being that it is Friday, I shall create new Blog Passion Drink (not for the faint at heart) this new blog passion shall be called drumroll pleeeze

Kick’n-Azz-Koolaide (don’t put this in a sippy cup!*

For the Hungry, We have on special today:

Blast-dat-azz Burritos w/Byatch Beans or Rolled-on Rice and your choice Not-yo-boy Chips and salsa or Fell for the Fried-Ice cream Fahitas.

All tips will be donated to the band-aid fund cuz more than a few folks be snatchin’em off like platdow!

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 12:46 PM | Link to this

staceye That is true. We really need to get back to FAMILY. So many of our children are suffering. I don’t have any children yet, but I know the kind of life I am desiring for them…both parents in the home. Maybe one day both men and women will get on the same page and stop accepting less but expecting more.

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 14, 2007 12:48 PM | Link to this

No one is saying dump the person and be cruel. But if the thrill is gone it is gone and if the relationship has good communication then both people know the thrill is gone. I am sorry but in some cases people already know their relationships are “Slow dancing in a burning room.” They know it is over and no need to keep beating around the bush.

I am going to wait until the kids are grown.

I am going to wait until until he find a better job.

I am going to wait until she/he get they mind right.

Whateva talk it out say here this why I am leaving…explain and then push the hell on..deuces and love

By melo

December 14, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

Guys have u heard about this old & greyed Pastor E. Paulk,the white pastor of the mega church in the Atl who has been sexing up his whole church for years and even having a son with his brother’s wife?He molested his 8 year old niece too a long time ago(allegedly) as well as a then 12 year old.Nine grown women in his church have licked his crotch..aint that something. My only thing is why is this story not on Faux Noise or CNN.If it were Eddie Lng or C. Dollar, they would have been talking about the oversexed black man.

By Chink

December 14, 2007 12:49 PM | Link to this

staceye I agree

Leaving someone who is pregnant I think is the most low down (selfish) thing you can do…think about someone else for a minute..can u?

But those things only make you stronger in the long run but still it’s the principle!!!

By BennyB

December 14, 2007 12:50 PM | Link to this

Rell You are describing children or adult who don’t know who they are, who don’t know why they are on this planet, who define themselves using external actions or accomplishments, who don’t know what they want, people who grow up in size and age but mentally remain children. Desirability is within the self.

To turn your targets’ interest into something deeper, into desire, you must make them see you as a person whom others cherish and covet

This is jealousy but you right. Jealousy is the queen of all insecurities. I will say more broadly that to turn your targets interests into something deeper you must play on their insecurities. This is what women don’t wanna hear. Attraction is always triggered by unconscious insecurities within us. Grownup people know themselves, they know that there is something missing inside and they know exactly what is it. A french man used to say this: “protège moi de mes amis, mes ennemis je m’en charge »

By DasV

December 14, 2007 12:52 PM | Link to this

dreams i agree with your definition of contemptous pity…and you are right. that i dont get down with either. i have no doubt that it was your sincere opinion that you did the right thing… i applaud that.

for clarity: what does this mean ——>so there was no prolonged period where I was “using” her for intimacy. do you mean to say that the period you ‘used’ her was very brief, and therefore OK??

Eye oh ok. i think i understand what you are saying… dont leave cause she is carrying my child, i will wait until she gives birth. but wait! then she will be stressing and her milk wont nourish my child, i will wait until the little one is weaned. but wait! he is crawling and getting into more-n-more stuff, better wait till he can walk and is in school for most of the day. but wait!… she prego again.

yea, that makes a lot of sense.

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 14, 2007 12:56 PM | Link to this

Melo you are late to the party with Paulk. Several local and national news outlets including CNN have run his story. Weeks and months ago when the women came forward.

By melo

December 14, 2007 1:06 PM | Link to this

My bad then,Kym

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 1:08 PM | Link to this

melo Alot of big name people are starting to be exposed for what they are doing behind closed doors.

I don’t think it is a black white issue in what is being exposed in the media, I think it is more of a who is known issue. Everyone knows Long and Dollar so of course it is going to be on the new….more viewers.

By Rell

December 14, 2007 1:11 PM | Link to this

@bennyb….nice breakdown…i am just sharing passage out of the art of seduction…i find it interesting if not somewhat true…..feel me….plus trying to stick something a lil more thought provoking out in the blogsphere versus bickering with folks…

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 1:11 PM | Link to this

DasV That was funny what you wrote to eye wrong but fun. eye pay no attention to dasV

By DasV

December 14, 2007 1:13 PM | Link to this

justME why yo post got me sittin at work chucklin’ in my seat, unable to catch my breathe?? that was fun-NY!

By Rell

December 14, 2007 1:13 PM | Link to this

the parentage of Eros, the god of love. Eros’s father was Contrivance, or Cunning, and his mother was Poverty, or Need. Eros takes after his parents: he is constantly in need, which he is con¬ stantly contriving to fill. As the god of love, he knows that love cannot be induced in another person unless they too feel need.

By Rell

December 14, 2007 1:15 PM | Link to this

Remember: people prefer to feel that if their life is uninteresting, it not be¬ cause of themselves but because of their circumstances, the dull people they know, the town into which they were born. Once you make them feel the lure of the exotic, seduction is easy.

By Darrell (of blackthen.com)

December 14, 2007 1:24 PM | Link to this

Rell “the parentage of Eros, the god of love. Eros’s father was Contrivance, or Cunning, and his mother was Poverty, or Need. Eros takes after his parents: he is constantly in need, which he is con¬ stantly contriving to fill. As the god of love, he knows that love cannot be induced in another person unless they too feel need.”

WHAT?!

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 1:26 PM | Link to this

rell that is true about your 1:15 post

By BennyB

December 14, 2007 1:27 PM | Link to this

DasV, I like your approach , you are not a doormat.I will never stay with a girl a second more just because she is preg or it’s the wrong season to leave.

Doormats are afraid to speak out because they believe they will hurt other people’s feelings.

“Believing you are responsible for someone else’s feelings is grandiose thinking. You are not so powerful that you can influence how another person thinks and feels. The belief that you can influence others’ emotions comes from your need to control the situation and feel safe. You can only state your needs and how you see things. Other people can choose to feel hurt or not, based on their level of maturity. Their feelings are their responsibility.” Wrote Lynne Namka in The Doormat Syndrome

By DasV

December 14, 2007 1:28 PM | Link to this

i disagree. people do not prefer to feel that if their life is uninteresting they are seduced into believing their lives are uninteresting and once you convince them the exotic exists seduction is easy. this was first brought on the scene and played out with our first parents.

By Rell

December 14, 2007 1:39 PM | Link to this

@DASV, played out this is not written as a how to, but trust there are people out there like that…people that do not own there feelings..seduction is only possible when you provide a need.

By DrekaDailyLurker

December 14, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this

Is it bad to want to be with your ex-boyfriend? I caught him cheating. Other than his cheating, he is the perfect guy. There are alot of benefits to being with him and marrying him. Is it bad to except his cheating? Even though he says he won’t cheat anymore, me and you both know he will. FYI, I don’t have low self esteem, etc. Just trying to decide on what to do. I’m thinking that as long as he takes care of home … … .

By DasV

December 14, 2007 1:44 PM | Link to this

BennyB i aint gonna lie to ya, im a reformed ‘doormat’ but i learned that unless you remain true to self, nothing will ever work. i learned, and fortunately realized that living that way was not living smart. i just got to the point where i couldnt do ‘stupid’ no more.

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 14, 2007 1:51 PM | Link to this

Rell That quote reminded me of some reading I did for a project on how Pimps get women and young girls to become prostitutes.(sp)

By ....wtf?...

December 14, 2007 1:52 PM | Link to this

By DrekaDailyLurker

December 14, 2007 1:44 PM |

Is it bad to want to be with your ex-boyfriend? I caught him cheating. Other than his cheating, he is the perfect guy.

…wtf’n….babygirl please know you are setting yo’ self up!

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 14, 2007 1:53 PM | Link to this

Deka you want the truth or you want me to lie to you?

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 1:55 PM | Link to this

DasV I was hungry and they were bloxing - LOL it seemed relative to me :-)

By DasV

December 14, 2007 1:57 PM | Link to this

rell do realize much dont sense you how you make??!

i was for the most part cosigning your convoluted post. i was just couldnt agree that people prefer to think their lives are uninteresting. most ppl think they exciting until someone convinces them otherwise. maturity is not allowing anyone to disprove what you know yourself to be.

i know my earlier post and this one too are over your head…. you really ought to put it away and stop using it for thought. theres a much better tool top of your shoulders that will prove more useful here……

By Jazzyone

December 14, 2007 1:57 PM | Link to this

8daily* his character is flawed and if thats the type of energy that you want to bring in your household and around your family then hey go for it..but i tell ya if hes cheating and he knows you know and he sees you will fall for it..you are setting yourself up for self inflicted pain and wounds…

And you never know what his cheating will bring home to you…get my drift??

By Rell

December 14, 2007 1:57 PM | Link to this

kym it comes from the art of seduction by roberte greene…and it draws from the libertine time in europe..no pimpin….lol

TELL DEKA THE TRUTH

By DrekaDailyLurker

December 14, 2007 1:59 PM | Link to this

The truth Kym.

By DreamsMaterialize

December 14, 2007 2:00 PM | Link to this

do you mean to say that the period you ‘used’ her was very brief, and therefore OK?? DasV it’s never OK to use someone you care about. I saw her twice between Christmas and New Years, and we didn’t have sex either time. Now if I broke up with her 3 months after the holidays and said we were’t intimate, you’d probably respond like “Suuuuuuuuuure. Get the f**k outta here”. And you would be right. lol I only mentioned that we broke up right after the holidays because if I didn’t mention it and maintained that we weren’t intimate, it would seem unbelievable.

By DasV

December 14, 2007 2:04 PM | Link to this

Dreka see my 144 post eventus stultorum magister

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 2:08 PM | Link to this

Dreka, Dreka, Dreka I truly dread your dilema right now, I have been there before, I have waltzed on both sides of this double edged sword!

I left a cheater only to become his best non intimate friend for more years than we dated, I never stopped Loving and/or being in Love with him. I just could not trust or commit to him again.

I took a cheater back and wouldn’t you know it, the itchbay cheated again! I took him back again and low and behold, he cheated again.

Soooooo, I said all of that to say if you know deep in your heart he will cheat again, then the decision you have to make is more about you and not so much about him (ya feelin’ me). If you are going to be OK with him taking care of home whatever that equates to for you, then take him back. But I learned that Taking Care of Home means taking care of me too. Not just they lawn and the cars and the bills, and the kids, but the emotional well being of me (your spouse, your lover, your friend). If it is not important enough to him that these things be taken care of too, then it’s only a matter of time before the grocery money comes rainin’ down elsewhere. If he is not ready to committ to you mind, body and soul….. pray for paitience, pray for peace and in the meantime make him wrap dat pickle!

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 14, 2007 2:10 PM | Link to this

Well if you want the truth you answered your own question from the jump. Your statement was I know he will cheat again. So if you already know that you are going to get someone who is going be with you only until new booty comes along…and you can accept that then go for it. If you know you cant deal with that…then why even consider dealing with him at all?

By Rell

December 14, 2007 2:13 PM | Link to this

@DASV, you are funny hon….i understood your post….and i like the way you try to slip in lil slick azz comments…tickles me to no end…lol….just keep them coming slim….just keep them coming

By DasV

December 14, 2007 2:15 PM | Link to this

dreams LOL you are right. i wouldnt of believed you. i know you did what you thought was the best thing all things considered, and as i said earlier: i respect that. that you tried to do the right thing. thats the most any of us can attempt to do.

By SeanJohnson3000

December 14, 2007 2:18 PM | Link to this

@ Dreka…if thats the only spot on his resume..then you got yourself a good man…even if u were my daughter i would tell you the same thing….as a female..always try to be the woman that a man comes home to…dont worry about anything else…in due time things will work out the way u want it..

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 2:20 PM | Link to this

drekadailylurker It all boils down to respect. If he knows he can disrespect you and get away with it he will. You teach people how to treat you. Of course he promised not to do it again…have you ever heard a cheater say “yea, i’ll do it again but don’t leave me” Wake up…he is showing you who he really is…appreciate the heads up from the One above.

By Cemeeli

December 14, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this

DasV too much for the pockets lady. Well there agian it’s all realtive.

By Cemeeli

December 14, 2007 2:25 PM | Link to this

DasV too much for the pockets lady. Well there agian it’s all realtive.

By Alvin

December 14, 2007 2:30 PM | Link to this

Dreams it’s hard to believe you weren’t out to use that young lady, LOL

DasV see there are still some decent cats out there…shocking isn’t it!!

chrissy ma’am…even them Eron cat didn’t get dogged out like Bonds or vick, for destroying thousands of livenhoods…Bond will be the only laughing stock…Syl Stallone got off too easy, dude is still getting acting roles…

If you’re black, live as straight and narrow as you can…don’t get me started on the baggie clothes ish…Dayum Wiggers!! - white gangsta living in the surbs…most aint got no shots…them red necks do though, LOL

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 2:31 PM | Link to this

SJ3K I hate to say it, but that’s same BS my pops told my sister about her husband…. That just because a man cheats does not mean he does not love his wife and family. I think that the biggest pile of BS I have ever heard in my life. If a man really loves a woman, then he will learn some self discipline and some self respect and keep HER johnson out of other womens pants and mouths. I’m stepping away form the keyboard cuz that kinda BS is so self-serving for men. Dreka If he loves you he will respect you too! Moreover, he can not love you if he does not respect you! fanning myself

By DrekaDailyLurker

December 14, 2007 2:34 PM | Link to this

It’s just that there are alot of us in this office wishing we were at home. All of us has left a cheater. We hate that we have to start all over again. And we know there are women who stay for the kids, the beautiful home, the man who makes 100k a year, retirement is paid for, vactions guaranteed every year, etc. I know that the women he cheats with come and go, but I’m going no where and I’m #1. What I am saying is that they have been only extra-curricular activities for years. He doesn’t spend no money on them, etc. He gets his and he’s out. I’m just tired of wishing … … we’re just tired of wishing. y’all feel me.

By Staceye

December 14, 2007 2:39 PM | Link to this

Das I am not saying wait froever…there is a time a place for everything. A little consideration will never hurt….unless someone is kicking your azz! That’s all I’m saying.

DrekaDailyLurker you would need Dumb AZZ stamped on your forehead if you got back with a cheating man…once a cheat…always a possible cheat. You would drive yourself nuts wondering what he is doing when he is not in your sight. He or no man is worth that. That is the ultimate deal breaker…by the way…if he is a cheater…he is NOT THE PERFECT GUY! JMO…..don;t let him make an azz out of your girl. You deserve better!

SJ as a female..always try to be the woman that a man comes home to that is BULLSHYT!!! That is a woman with no self-esteem. Would you be the man that thelady always comes home to? Oh yeah by the way…she brought you home the clap…the crabs and served it up with w side of genital warts! But all that matters is she came home to you! RIGHT! If you tell you daughter that crap you migth as well tell her that pride and self-esteem is overrated as well…because she will obviously have neither if she allows a dude to cheat on her because things will work out the way she wanted!

By Alvin

December 14, 2007 2:39 PM | Link to this

SeanJohnson HA HA HA HA HA HA HA…white women are alot cooler with that set up than a black women…they’ll kill that dude

But in the days of Aids and worst…nah, you can’t pull that ish…Now.

dreka are you allow di^k on the side…DasV can you put in a few kind words for me? please LOL

By Rell

December 14, 2007 2:40 PM | Link to this

@justme…spoken like a real women…feel you lady

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 2:42 PM | Link to this

Dreka Best of luck!

By Cemeeli

December 14, 2007 2:46 PM | Link to this

OMGoodness…Staceye…Lol…oh my.

By DasV

December 14, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

decent? maybe. but ‘almost a millionaire’ and ‘looking for a job’ doesnt fly wit me why would ‘i tried’?

now help me prepare the chur-ch for our candle-light vigil. seanj done drank from the stupid libation and crazy took him out. his last words were ——>if thats the only spot on his resume..then you got yourself a good man…always try to be the woman that a man comes home to…dont worry about anything else…in due time things will work out the way u want it..

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 2:47 PM | Link to this

seanjohnson3000 that is some messed up advice you giving to dreka. *if you were my daughter i would tell you the same thing…thank God you are not my daddy. Aids is real..I see it daily in my work environment. It is not about taking care of home or being the woman he comes home to. It is about respecting your health and the life God has given you. He did not make any of us to be door mats for our SO to wipe their feet on when they come home.

By Staceye

December 14, 2007 2:48 PM | Link to this

Alvin you trying to give Dreka, “D%ck in the Box”? LOL Now you want DasV to hook you up wiht the box! LMAO! Classic!

You are right Alvin…..no self respecting sista would stand for that crap! And they say we are the Golddigers! HMMMM! LOL

By Demi

December 14, 2007 2:49 PM | Link to this

Dreka don’t do it…get your own money…plan for your own retirement…there are plenty of dude looking for a good wife…go and talk to a few ballers ex wives…from what i heard…the grass is the color of lawn as of 12/14/2007, in the ATL.

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 2:50 PM | Link to this

Staceye That what’s up ^5

Rell Blog hug 4ya

By Alvin

December 14, 2007 2:53 PM | Link to this

Where is Blat at a time like this?

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 14, 2007 2:54 PM | Link to this

Dreka It sounds like it is not about loving him but about a bunch of lonely women sitting around thinking if I had stayed with him I would have somebody. I wouldnt have to be out here searching and “starting over” looking for somebody because atleast if I have have him I have someone in my bed. HMMMMMM sounds like a big pity party. An speaking as one who has thrown some pity parties you might want to get a new crew to talk to.

By BLAT

December 14, 2007 2:57 PM | Link to this

Dreka, I honestly understand where you’re coming from. Even though you’re getting a lot of judgemental comments from some folks, it’s not always so simple. And this is an issue that has faced us since the beginning. Polygamy is often discussed in the Old Testament, and was openly practiced by many a king of old. Even today it is still common in many cultures.

What it boils down to, here, today, is how you feel about yourself. If you don’t feel disrespected and demeaned by his actions, and you truly feel that it’s ok to not be the ONLY one as long as you’re # 1, then baby, by all means, DO YOU.

Of course, if bruh gonna get his, you best be gettin yours too. Let’s meet for drinks and talk about it. Better yet, come over and I’ll cook you some dinner. a t l i e n 7 8 @ g m a i l. com

….. Blat now heading to Publix…..

By Staceye

December 14, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

Good nigth and have a great weekend all….I’m out!!!

Staceye has now dropped the mic and left the soapbox…exit, stage right! In the words of the Great Snagglepuss

By Staceye

December 14, 2007 3:00 PM | Link to this

Good night and have a great weekend all….I’m out!!!

Staceye has now dropped the mic and left the soapbox…exit, stage right! In the words of the Great Snagglepuss

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 14, 2007 3:04 PM | Link to this

Dreka what feels worst…being by yourself or having someone part-time? If you can answer that question then you’ve got your answer. For some, the worst thing they can imagine is having to live with themselves and by themselves. How do you feel about yourself?

By ...wtf...

December 14, 2007 3:10 PM | Link to this

..say it with me…ADULTRY…AIDS…DA DRIPS…DOG COUGH…WEDLOCK BABIES…

Either if which is said or mentioned…

By DrekaDailyLurker

December 14, 2007 3:12 PM | Link to this

Ms. Kym

No pity party here and we’re not lonely cause getting a man IS NOT THE PROBLEM! I love him and miss him and I don’t want to start all over. I’m being selfish because I’m thinking of myself more than anyone. I think I’m gonna do it. What do I have to lose? I honestly don’t think I will feel the hurt again because my heart is numb. If it happens again, ok so what you want for dinner and don’t forget to pick up the new luggage for our Hawii trip next week. you guys gotta feel me on that.

By Beautiful

December 14, 2007 3:14 PM | Link to this

gurl Dreka, … … . . i don’t know what to say.

By DrekaDailyLurker

December 14, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

Lady Dark with Dimples

I feel good. When I first found out about his cheating, I think the reason why it hurt so much was because I didn’t know about it. Now, it seems like it’s apart of my life. I don’t think it will bother me or my lifestyle if I don’t see it, smell it, etc.

By abc

December 14, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

That’s some hot BS. Dreka is an example of why decent, honest men get so much sheeit off of psycho beeyotches, who make them pay for a player’s sins. It doesn’t just apply to cheating either — every piece of jacked up sheeit that some guy ran on her, the decent guy pays for. And pays, and pays, and pays for.

By SeanJohnson3000

December 14, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

@ JustMe…your pops was right…and trust me he loves your sister a whole lot and wouldnt tell her anything wrong..he has wisdom where some of yall females lack the vision…

@ Staceye..i know u are prolly gone..but u are all talk….one day when i have the time..i am going to break you down…its 2008 no need to have all that bottled up anger and frustration and carrying it around…breath again…

@ Chrissy…you prolly deep off in some baptist church i bet…a man having more than one woman isnt new….and its natural…get your read on and learn about history…

By melo

December 14, 2007 3:21 PM | Link to this

Dreka if u have kids with him, stay for the kids and get all the benefits for the kids.Dont have any more and use protection. Better yet, go have an HIV test and insist on him getting a test too if u 2 like to dip in the skin. Ur kids are more paramount than ur ego right now and a two parent home is better thn one. If u have no kids, just move on, once a cheater, always a cheater. In addition tho, when u ask for advice like this, u wont get a lot of good advice from single women who have never been married themslevs and have no kids of their own. They know no better. Ask grown women with families and kids or people in similar situations.The single girls go by ideals most of the time, ideals they themselves may never achieve in their entire lyfe time.U re better off asking a divorced woman with kids, coz they have been there, done that. Bring on the heat now, im done!!

By Kym-Proud Steeler Nation Member since 1994

December 14, 2007 3:22 PM | Link to this

At what point do you realize man or woman that being alone is okay? I am not passing judgement as the instigator implies. But all of us even twins(unless conjoined) come in the world alone. I mean as soon as you take your first gasp of hospital air it is game on..up to the plate..YOU. So while we are not meant to stay alone in this world. We have to come to accept that at times we are going to have to do things alone. Eat alone, laugh alone, dance alone and cry alone. Think for a moment that maybe a higher power(insert your God here) is planning for you to be alone for this time in space so you can (a) learn more about you (b) learn about him/her/it (c) appreciate just living. Being Alone is not a death sentence to a life of cats and Matlock re-runs.

By DreamsMaterialize

December 14, 2007 3:29 PM | Link to this

Dreka I’m sure there’s plenty of guys out there who will take you on a trip to Hawaii for alot less than a marriage committment.

Also, just because you’re “#1” doesn’t mean you’ll keep that spot. He’s obviously already calling in subs for the a*s. How long before he calls in subs to spend money on and spend quality time with?

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 14, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this

SeanJ/Melo would it be okay if Dreka got her groove on as well? Just curious?

I think with a cheater you can’t ever be confident that your position is solidified. You may think the rotation is insignificance…they may be trying out for your spot!

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 3:54 PM | Link to this

Dreka Have you ever heard of the MLB? THey post round these parts. They are tighter than fishnet pantyhose on MoNique!

In the end, you have to do you. If you think you can live with the cheating and without respect go ahead and keep the status quo. If going to Hawaii or Brazil, or Tahiti, or Paris or Rome will take the pain away then buy new luggage for every trip, spend all his GD $$$ and get some Good “D” when the mood strikes you.

But your gonna be dead azz wrong for staying and for lowering yourself to his level.

But hey and eye for an eye.

SJ it is ok for her to take on a new rider, right?

By Alvin

December 14, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

At what point do you realize man or woman that being alone is okay?

Soon as them fools remove:

gen.18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

From the bible

God went too far that time

By kimmie

December 14, 2007 3:55 PM | Link to this

Dreka - Sounds like your mind was already made up before you came on this blog. You said meeting a man is not the problem, so why the fear of starting over?

SJ - That’s okay, I bet you wouldn’t put up with that shyt yourself! What about taking responsibility for your own happiness, instead of waiting around (in due time things will work out the way u want it..) for a different outcome from the same pile of SHYT?

By Rell

December 14, 2007 4:02 PM | Link to this

Many of us have difficulty reconciling the person we are right now with the person we want to be. We are disappointed that we have compro¬ mised our youthful ideals, and we still imagine ourselves as that person who had so much promise, but whom circumstances prevented from real¬ izing it. When you are mirroring someone, do not stop at the person they have become; enter the spirit of that ideal person they wanted to be.

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 4:04 PM | Link to this

Dreka Maybe you’d feel better if you spent a lot of his $$$ for you and your new guy to go on a lavish vacation without him on his dime?? THe only thing that hurts men is brusing their egos and wasting their $$.

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 4:06 PM | Link to this

abc i agree with your post seanjohnson I am not deep off in any baptist anything. I know about polygamy first hand…I am from the continent of Africa, my father is a polygamist and there ain’t nothing natural about it. when my father was young he thought it was the thing to do because his father did it. now he tells me all the time that he was wrong and he hate that he messed up our family that way. seanjohnson if you want to have alot of women at one time…go ahead…i don’t look down on anyone with that life style. just don’t bring women into that life style without telling them the truth about what you are doing. Aids is running like a man on fire through africa……you want to know why?

By BLAT

December 14, 2007 4:08 PM | Link to this

Dreka Baby… Just forget all this mess. I’m leavin for Florida tonight. Come with and we’ll get lost for a few days… Then u can come back refreshed and ready for your trip to Hawaii wit a twinkle in your eye…

… the preceeding has been an official MLB communication….

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 4:09 PM | Link to this

Alvin It’s supposed to rain this weekend, stay away from the windows!

By SeanJohnson3000

December 14, 2007 4:10 PM | Link to this

@ Just Me/ DD Dimples…men and women are not created equal….this is a mans world..you know that and i know that…there are some things a man can do that females cant…this is a double standard that works in our favor…females have theirs…..i wanted to ask you yesterday…..what was the reason for going to trapeze the second time?

By melo

December 14, 2007 4:11 PM | Link to this

SeanJ/Melo would it be okay if Dreka got her groove on as well? Just curious? No problem, as long as she follows my advice above about HIV testing and shyt.

By DrekaDailyLurker

December 14, 2007 4:14 PM | Link to this

I have been lurking for a long while now. The swingers on this blog prompted me to talk to him about swingin’ on his part. The “do what you got to do to keep your man at home” is what I’m doing here. Well, that’s what I’m thinking about doing. He’ll be happy he’s swingin’ and I’ll be happy with my home, retirement, cars, savings, vacations, etc. One happy little fam.

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 14, 2007 4:16 PM | Link to this

Dreka How old are you?

By melo

December 14, 2007 4:17 PM | Link to this

Chrissy which part of Africa are u from?

By DasV

December 14, 2007 4:19 PM | Link to this

dreka dont believe that your perception is reality, baby-gurl. delusion is an illness that eats from the outside in.

By Lady Dark with Dimples

December 14, 2007 4:19 PM | Link to this

Y’all Dreka is just playing….

By chrissy

December 14, 2007 4:22 PM | Link to this

melo i am from nigeria

By Alvin

December 14, 2007 4:26 PM | Link to this

JustMe I am cool, not my time yet…I am still looking for a JustMe now..do you know where I can find her?

By DrekaDailyLurker

December 14, 2007 4:27 PM | Link to this

I’m 51.

Thanks guys!

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 4:28 PM | Link to this

SJ I think I lost my last post. I’ll see if it show up.

Long story short……. Clubbin was not an option, I had already beat everybody at the crib in Spades and Rummy, I need to get out of my 4 walls and I knew that no one there would be judging me, they’d all be too busy getting their groove on to notice the lady on crutches with the big azz boot!

By Julia

December 14, 2007 4:30 PM | Link to this

I’ll be happy with my home, retirement, cars, savings, vacations, etc

that is the saddest thing I have heard all day. Perhaps you could find a deeper meaning for your life, more than material trappings, especially if its at the expense of self-respect.

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 4:30 PM | Link to this

Y’all have a good weekend. I’ll be back on Tuesday. SJ If you have anymore Trap ??’s we’ll talk Tuesday!

By melo

December 14, 2007 4:32 PM | Link to this

Dreka,if u know u are not putting urself in jeopardy and on the finance tip u take care of business making sure the kids assets are protected, u have health care and $$$ and ur health is not in jeopardy, look the other way and give to him good when he needs it. Try to cook at home to coz thats what mekes other men go else where. Are u marrried or u planning on getting married? This illusion some on here have, that there will be one woman and one man for each other needs to be exposed. Not in our lyfetimes.There will always be man who cheat until they realize thatthe civet cat smells the same fragrance

By JustMe

December 14, 2007 4:34 PM | Link to this

Alvin I’ll be at PA until about 10:30 PM Come and find me :-)

By kimmie

December 14, 2007 4:35 PM | Link to this

Dreka - Well, if your man is swingin, then that’s another topic and I would not clasify that as cheating because you obviously are going along with it. You ARE bothered by it, though, because you felt the need to talk to someone about it, thus the blog. It’s nothing wrong with swinging if that’s your thing, we talked about it yesterday on this blog. You come on here, acting like you’re being dogged, but really you just sort of PLAYED the blog. You’re content with PIMPING yourself to this dude, you’re obviously not used to having anything, so you feel the only way to get material things is to sell your soul. I would say I feel sorry for you, but that would be a lie because I won’t waste my pity. Melo - I think it’s safe to say there are no kids involved, since she’s obviously only speaking of the material wealth she’ll be giving up by leaving him. She has not said a word about being concerned about having a 2-parent home for a child.

By melo

December 14, 2007 4:35 PM | Link to this

Chrissy hit me up takpat78@gmail.com

By SeanJohnson3000

December 14, 2007 4:43 PM | Link to this

@ JustMe…um…ok…i will dig deeper into it later…that is a very watered down response…

@ Chrissy…the reason aids is rampid in africa should be on a political blog…not a dating blog…being from Nigeria…do you date african american men?…do you have a credit card number i can do some shopping with tomorrow??? just messing wit ya :)

By someone

December 17, 2007 11:31 AM | Link to this

…

By DasV

December 17, 2007 3:15 PM | Link to this

out of lurksville

did anyone go see ‘i am legend’??

De-me-god *my baad.